#I think everyone should wish mad rat a happy birthday because he deserves it

[ressoroll]

HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY MAD RAT DEAD!!! thank you for everything 🐀❤️🎩

[jckelly]

updated intro / jack 101

Is that JACK KELLY? Wow, they do look a lot like VAN MCCANN. I hear HE is an NINETEEN year old FRESHMEN who are studying AEROSPACE ENGINEERING  at Luxor University. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be PHILOPHOBIC and INSINCERE, but on the bright side they can also be WITTY and IMAGINATIVE. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself. [YUNI, 21, GMT, SHE/HER]

 the other two got updated intros n rat man felt left out

basics

full name: jackson noel kelly 

nicknames: jack (does not answer to jackson)

date of birth: december 25, 2001

zodiac: capricorn sun, leo ascendant, sagittarius moon

nationality: dual uk and us citizenship

sexual orientation: straight but will try anything once

course: aerospace engineering

appearance

faceclaim: van mccann 

voiceclaim: van mccann

ethnicity: white (english, irish)

height: 5′8 / 173cm

weight: 58kg / 127lbs

eye colour: blue

hair colour: brown

distinctive features: freckles (many), left ear pierced, scars on his wrists usually covered by long sleeves, northern english accent

clothing preferences: jack prefers to only wear black, or at a push grey, although he’s slowly improving and will Occasionally mix it up with ... navy. his style is pretty basic, usually just a sweater, jeans, and beat up black converse or doc martens depending on how emo he’s feeling. the sheffield united hoodie makes an appearance every time someone forgets precisely which uk city jack is from. 

personality

overview

positive traits: witty, imaginative, perseverant, passionate

negative traits: philophobic, disloyal, insincere, callous

mbti: entp

religious beliefs: atheist

description

the first side most people see of jack is the side he wants you to see. a total asshole. it’s not an exaggeration - he’s pretty much infamous for flirting with everyone, dating anyone and as a serial cheater. he’ll actively try to worm his way into your life, and then just when you start to care, he does something to hurt you. he’s strangely persistent, probably helping him to push people even further, until they snap. there is nothing which satisfies him more than managing to wind people up to the extreme, get them to the point where they give up. adopted parents, friends, nobody is immune to this side - he even tries it on the people he genuinely cares about, as if just to see if he’ll still be able to push them away.

the second side, which most people don’t see, is that at heart jack is a kid. he’s the type of person to ask if owls have ears at 3am, or get some childlike joy out of dumb jokes. of course, this is the side nobody but a very small number of people see. and even if you do see it, it never lasts long. he keeps his true personality under wraps even amongst those he does like, and it only slips out if he’s extremely comfortable with you. otherwise, he’ll go straight back to being a sarcastic, flirty piece of shit.

biography

jackson noel kelly was born in hell on ironically christmas day to his father satan......

jk

jack and his older half brother finn were born in sheffield, united kingdom, to a single mother. a drug addict, she was notorious among social workers for neglecting her children and as a result jack shuffled between foster homes and his mother’s home during his first ten years of life, with finn, less than four years older than him, being his primary carer even when he was back with his birth family. this cycle finally ended when jack was ten and he was permanently removed from his mother’s care, and placed in the first of a series of foster homes which didn’t last particularly long.

the thing was, jack’s remarkably good at pushing people away when he wants to, and as he got older his talents only increased. running away, wreaking havoc, insulting anyone who tried to get close and anything else he could possibly think of meant that for three years he lasted no longer than eight months in any one place. in fact, he frequently took himself back to live with his birth family until social services came to drag him out again. this lifestyle continued until he was fostered by his now adopted parents, claire and george, at thirteen.

much to jack’s dismay, no matter of hell raising would push these newest set of parents away. in fact, they seemed absolutely set on raising him as Their Son, even as his attempts to get them off his back got more and more extravagant. they removed him from his previous school, transferred him to a fancy private school, put him in therapy and tried their best to help him get through all of the issues developed through his slightly fucked up childhood.

the thing was, jack loves his mother. he still refuses to see her as being in the wrong, no matter what people tell him or what he himself recalls, in his mind he has one mother and that’s his birth mother. so he did not take kindly to attempts by his foster parents to become his “new” family, because in jack’s mind? he already had a family. and even though they were actively encouraging him to continue contact with his brother, he couldn’t help but see them as trying to replace his birth family.

jack’s fifteenth year pretty much became the year when all of these issues finally came to a head. he was adopted legally by his foster parents, who had now been fostering him for two years - which should have been a happy occasion, but for jack represented the final loss, the final betrayal to his birth mother and brother. then shortly after his fifteenth birthday his brother went to prison at eighteen for grievous bodily harm, having glassed another boy after an argument.

of course, it would later be revealed that in actuality the assault had been committed by jack. and that finn was simply covering for him. (they looked alike enough that questions were not raised, it had happened so fast.) but in the eyes of jack’s adopted parents, finn was now a dangerous offender and jack had to be protected from him. so he was then isolated from his brother, his mother had relapsed and his continuous guilt over being adopted played on his mind, culminating in a suicide attempt in march 2017. 

of course, he wasn’t successful, but this was the final straw in the minds of his adopted parents. they felt jack needed a fresh start, away from the people who had defined his life prior to that point. so by his sixteenth birthday, jack had been moved to the united states to be near the family of his adopted mother, and subsequently enrolled in luxor academy. 

where he continued to be a menace :))

although it did appear, for some time, that jack was showing signs of improvement. sure, he was still wreaking havoc at luxor. but at home, he had calmed, even showing signs of affection to his adopted family. until his mother overdosed suddenly and died when jack was eighteen and things started to immediately go straight downhill again.

he can’t help but blame himself, for allowing himself to be moved. for the move being his fault, if he’s being honest. and if the honesty continues, jack’s got a whole lot of other stuff to blame on himself. (see: ruining his brother’s life.) so now he’s just taking shit out on everyone to try and make them a fraction as miserable as him. 

npc connections

birth fam

finn kelly / fc: jake bugg / b. may 10 1998 / taurus sun, gemini ascendant, pisces moon

finley, who also refuses to use his full name, is jack’s older brother - same mother, different father.  jack thinks he’s boring because he doesn’t raise hell with every opportunity. finn calls this “being a sane person.” went to prison for jack and regrets it. pastimes include crying over murakami books and trying to look shocked when jack tells him about the newest crisis he’s having. 

lauren kelly / fc: elena tonra / b. february 20 1983 - d. april 1 2020 / pisces sun, aries ascendant, leo moon

jack’s birth mother, who was still a teenager when he and finn were born. she was an on again, off again drug addict and had jack removed from her care when he was ten due to continued neglect. instilled in him a love for oasis and a hefty number of mental health issues. looked pretty much exactly like jack. 

jordan taylor / fc: alex turner / b. october 12 1984 / libra sun, leo ascendant, virgo moon

jack’s birth father, who he knows little about. not for lack of trying on his father’s part, who was prevented from seeing jack as a child by his birth mother and blocked from trying to make contact by jack’s refusal to interact. he keeps trying to message jack and jack is running out of daddy issues memes to respond with. finn thinks jack should give him a chance to redeem himself. jack thinks finn should fuck off. 

adopted fam

claire fielding / fc: julia roberts / b. may 12 1964 / taurus sun, cancer ascendant, leo moon

jack’s adopted mother. loves him very much and is convinced he is a sweet boy who just needs love and help. has written a memoir about adopting jack. jack is mad at her constantly. when he is not mad at her, he is embarrassed by her existence. honestly deserves better.

george fielding / fc: timothy olyphant / b. november 6, 1963 / scorpio sun, capricorn ascendant, virgo moon

is proud of jack, but very deep down underneath a strong layer of calling jack out on his bullshit. has some loud ass shouting matches with jack. also really wishes jack would sort his hair out and maybe not look like a cheap liam gallagher. jack honestly just winds him up constantly and he knows jack is doing it but goddamnit it’s so hard to not be mad at the little rat. 

other

maisie adeyemi / fc: yewande biala / b. january 6, 1997 / capricorn sun, sagittarius ascendant, aries moon

finn’s fiancee. her goal in life is to try to get jack to ruin finn’s life at least 70% less often. she has yet to achieve this goal. her love language is setting finn’s phone to silent when he goes to bed to stop jack from phoning in with some sort of random crisis at four in the morning because the little shit forgot timezones exist. finn will never find out. maisie is grateful that men have no brains. 

[unmaskedagain]

Rather be Me (than with You)

Hey everyone. This is a kind of angsty ONE-SHOT; not the usual humor and fun I usual go for. I decided to do something a bit different. I experimented with the idea of a story where Lila doesn’t get exposed. Marinette just moves on. Decides she deserves better.  This ISN’T a QUEEN MARI but Marinette does realize she’s a queen. 

This is Anti-Class but not Lila bashing. I didn’t not to got the normal LILA BASHING everyone usually does. Don’t get me wrong, Lila Bashing is my favorite tag in this fandom. But I wanted to do something different. Tell me what you think and if you like it.

It had been a long time since Marinette had cared about their snickering; cared that sometimes she ate alone. Marinette hadn’t given a rat’s ass about what anyone in her damn class thought. She had been done for a long time.

A year had passed since Lila created the hurricane that pretty much turned Marinette’s life upside. A year since Alya had been her best friend, since Adrien was her crush. Since Ladybug’s partner was Chat Noir, a year since she was anyone’s everyday Ladybug.

These days the other students in class ignored her, and she was fine with it. The minute Marinette stepped back and decide to say, “Fuck Them.” Lila had left her alone. The Italian girl still side-eyed her every now and then but was content to let Marinette be. One thing Lila did right was that she saw Marinette exactly as she should be seen; an unbeatable threat, and one hell of pain in the neck if she tried hard enough. For a while, Lila was sure the Marinette would expose her, that every lie she spun would come undone.

But then one day, just a few months after Lila had returned, Marinette came to school with a big grin on her face. Lila said one tall tales, and the other girl didn’t even blink. Lila still remembered that their eyes met and saw: nothing. No longer did righteous fury reside there. No hurt expression. Or tears. Just apathy, sheer indifference to everyone in class.

Lila didn’t smile that day. In fact, she found it hard to really smile for the rest of the week. Because though technically she had won, it didn’t feel like a victory. It was like the game the two girls played had resulted in a stalemate and Marinette decided the battle was over. Marinette lost all her friends. Lila had no choice but to keep up the lies, particularly, after her mother announced they wouldn’t be moving like they usually would after a few months. It took a lot of work. Lila could admit that if she had know Paris was permanent, she’d have been a little more honest.

So, in the end, neither girl won but neither girl lost.

Nevertheless, Lila was smart. She knew when to back off. And so she did. She learned quickly that if she kept Marinette’s name out of her mouth, she was golden. Lila also learned that Marinette wasn’t made at Lila. It was everyone else the Asian girl had a problem with.

Everyone else in class who quickly realized just what life was like without their everyday ladybug.

Gone was the random sweets from her parents’ bakery. Gone was the well planned birthday parties and class trips. Gone was the comforting shoulder. Gone was the friend who they could call no matter time of day or night if they needed someone to talk to. Gone was their biggest supporter. Gone was the always friendly face that promised to brighten the darkest day.

           The kids learned quickly, that if they were in trouble, they were on their own. Apart from Akuma attacks, that Ladybug still showed up for. Though Ladybug had taken to ignoring the students, particularly Alya. Even going as far as to say to the teen reporter, in front of other journalists, that she doesn’t talk to tabloids; too many rumors and lies.

           This had slowly but surly caused the downfall of the Ladyblog. Alya could no longer get the best scoop; no that went to Aurore who created an entire website with tips and advice and videos about and straight from Ladybug. The website fully endorsed by the hero. Alya had quickly decided that she just needed to talk to Ladybug to clear up whatever was caught the strife. It was then that Alya remembered that Marinette had gotten her that first interview, the interview that had launched the Ladyblog’s success. Marinette who she was no longer friends with.

           Marinette who had it clear that she didn’t care. She didn’t are that Alya’s beloved blog had spiraled into nothing. That Nino’s music career seemed to be at an all-time standstill. That Marc and Nathaniel’s comic and partnership had gone down in flames. (Mostly because Nathaniel had taken too much of Lila’s advice and changed too much of the comic to be recognizable.) Or that Ivan and Mylene had broken up. Juleka had gone back to never showing up in pictures. Rose was in tears that Prince Ali no longer wished to speak to her. Kitty Section had broken up. Chloe was a bigger bully than ever, though she too was smart enough to stay clear of Marinette. The list went on and on, getting worse and worse.

           Even the teachers realized just how much of a control presence that Marinette had. And just how lost their classrooms were without her.

           But still, Marinette didn’t care.

Marinette had been screwed over. Once. Twice. A dozen times. Her best friend, her sworn bestie, hadn’t been the loyal friend she promised she was; acted nice when was so not nice. Chat Noir, Adrien, had left her to fight alone so many times that Master Fu took back his Miraculous. Screwed over by her best friend. Twice. And then by all the other kids.

Still, no one could understand how the sweetest girl could go full Ice Queen.

They had been smart enough to get Luka and Kagami to ask Marinette at the school’s end of the year party. Adrien got Kagami to ask as Marinette had taken to ignoring him for a long time by then Juleka got Luka to promise to find out. Kagami and Luka had become her closest friends. And the fact that her classmates would use them to get information on her, just reminded Marinette just how done she was.

She was so done.

So after the two had asked. Instead of answering, Marinette texted Colton, her friend, and DJ of the party. Marinette needed to make something clear.

When the song, ended Marinette got on stage.

“Hey,” She said into the mic. Her hair was only a bit longer but the blue had been dyed out of it. Her skinny jeans were black and ripped and she had on a red halter top was lacy and elegant. “Someone of you might not know me. But I’ve done enough for this school and a lot the students, to know majority of you do.” Her tone was dry and her stare blank. “Over last year, I took a step back you could say from, well, bullshit.” There were laughs. Most of the students who knew of Marinette and had been affected by her kindness had reached out almost immediately when they realized something was wrong, something had changed.

           Marinette looked at the students, “I got screwed over by too many times to count.” She sighed. “Turns out, a lot there’s a lot of assholes in my class.” She said bluntly. “So how do I deal with it all. In fact, how do you deal with all the drama and bullies and liars and two-faced bitches in your life? I got some advice for you. Pay close attention because it worked great for me.” The music started and Marinette started to sing.

“Here's my secret strategy

It always works because

The world doesn't end

It just feels like it does”

           Marinette wasn’t the best singer but she was decent. The song wasn’t about high notes or theatrics. It was sung with grace and humor. A strong daria morgendorffer vibe.

So raise your right finger      Marinette raised her right hand flicked off the entire school and looked right at her classmates. There faces turned red and their eyes were wide.

And solemnly swear

"Whatever they say about me

I don't care!"

           The first few months had been hard. And full of mean looks were way and nasty remarks. Until they realized they needed her. They needed her charm. Her can-do attitude. Her to come back as class president. Her ideas. The free handmade clothes she designed.

I won't twist in knots to join your game

           Rose, surprising, had been the first to try to tempt her back. The other having enlisted the second sweetest girl in class to talk to Marinette. Rose had told Marinette that if she just admitted she was wrong Lila and apologize, they’d take her back. Marinette had told her to fuck off.

I will say, "you make me mad."

And if you treat me bad

I'll say "you're bad"

And if I eat alone from this moment on

That's just what I'll do

'Cause I'd rather be me, I'd rather be me

I'd rather be me than be with you

           Marinette had eaten alone for weeks until she made she found real friends in other classes, both upper and lower grades. That was when Marinette found out that she was well-liked by the majority of the school. And the majority of the school didn’t buy Lila’s lies.

We're supposed to all be ladies

And be nurturing and care

Is that really fair?

Boys get to fight, we have to share

           Marinette found new friends, made new plans, her schedule filled up again, and she was happy. That was when the rumors started. Alya and Alix, leading the charge, had taken upon themselves to tell Marinette new friends what a bully she was and the rest of the school as well. They got upset when no one believed them.

           They got even more upset when they realized Marinette didn’t care. At all. However, when Alix had taken it too far, he had decided to get physical and trip Marinette in the lunchroom….

Here's the way that turns out

We always understand

How to slap someone down

With our underhand

           Marinette got up, pulled her arm back, and knocked Alix’s lights out. “Don’t try that shit again,” Marinette had warned her ex-friends. “I have no problem kicking each and everyone one of your asses.”

She got a week’s detention but she smiled all the way through.

So here's my right finger Marinette flicked off the school again; waved it around so everyone could see it.

To how girls should behave

'Cause sometimes what's meant to break you

Makes you brave

So I will not act all innocent

I won't fake apologize

           From then on, it was everyone understood that a new Marinette walked the halls. One that didn’t care about being nice. How ladies should behave. She refused to apologize after a fight. And she never backed down from an agreement.

           Turns out losing all her friends didn’t break her. It made her braver. In a way Ladybug never managed to before then.

Let's just fight and then make up

Not tell these lies

Let's call our damage even

Clean the slate till it's like new

           Marinette never gave in; even when the ice out happened. All the kids in her class ignored her, they didn’t say a single word to her. Refused to pair with her. Didn’t even acknowledge her existence.

It's a new life for me

Where I'd rather be me

I'd rather be me

Than be with you

The once bluenette just laughed at their childish antics. She didn’t bat an eye as they wanted her too. She didn’t understand why they couldn’t fight like normal people. Or the very at least call the war done, the damage even on both sides, and then move on with clean slates.

I'll say, "NO!"

NO!

I'll say, "knock it off,

with your notes and your rules and your games."

           Marinette had just gone: NO. No. She wasn’t going to play their little games. Do anything to make it even remotely look like she card. It was over. She was done. It was all just a waiting game.

           Waiting for them to grow up and realize, it was game over. There was no magical way their friendship would ever be restored. They should move, let go. Find something better. Accept the loss and learned to live with it.

           Like she’d done with Lila. Marinette hadn’t been happy with the results of their chess game but she could live with it. Move on. Got a new life.

And those sycophants who follow you, Marinette turned her attention to the pretty Italian girl. If Lila ever came after her again… Or when her kingdom of lies fell, and there was no doubt it would. Marinette would be there to watch it burn.

I'll remember all their names, She sang to Lila who nodded having understood. Even she knew her time was running out. Though Lila wouldn’t just hand over her power willingly. No, Lila knew it would have to dragged away from her bloody hands before she let it go. Lila would fight. It was just the way she was.

           The one thing Marinette liked about the girl.

           Alya was getting desperately. Eventually, she’ll realize the answer to all her problems lay in the comments on her blog. All questioning why she was promoting such an obvious liar. And when she did… There would be hell to pay.

And when they drag you down

Like they inevitably do

I will not laugh along with them and

approve their palace coup, 'cause that's not me. She promised her once the greatest enemy. (Hawkmoth’s was Ladybug’s.) That caused Lila to smile.

           Because when the faux-faced kids turned their ire onto Lila. When they dragged her through the same torment they put Marinette though. At least the wannabe Volpina wouldn’t have to worry about the once Every Day ladybug.

           In fact, if Lila played her cards right, and she nearly always did. She’d find an alley to teach her. Teach her not to care. Teach her to be stronger. Teach her out to say “Fuck you” to the world.

           Because Marinette no longer cared enough to have any reason not to. Granted she could just say, “I. Don’t. Want. To.” Like she did frequently these days.

Janis. Janis. Janis. Janis

I don't need their good opinions

I have plenty of opinions

Everybody has opinions but it doesn't make them true

           Marinette didn’t care what her old friends thought. Or that they didn’t like her. Who cared? So what if they thought she was a bully? Or a jealous liar. Or a bad friend. Or the new Ice queen.

           She shrugged. She had a lot to say about them to.  And sure she bitched with Luka, Aurore, and Kagami but it wasn’t serious. It was just to vent. Because who cared?

What's true is being me

And I'd rather be me

I'd rather be me than be with you.

So raise them high 'cause playing nice and shy is insulting my IQ

           Marinette had no problem being a bitch if they pushed. She was no longer shy and sweet and far too nice for her own good. Because she had learned her lesson.

           And, Marinette thought, she learned it was so well that life rewarded. She was making clothes for Clara and Jagged. Worked with Chloe’s mom. She had an internship with Teen Vogue, in New York, that summer. Won several design contests. Got to see one of her designs on the red carpet worn by an up and coming actress that Jagged recommended her to.

           The actress said the brand was MDC, created by a kickass teenager name Marinette. That dress got the actress on the best-dressed list, and Marinette twenty more commissions by other almost, or kind of famous celebrities.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

I'd Rather Be Me

I'd Rather Be Me

So maybe I should thank you. Marinette adlibbed the line but sang it directly to Lila who smirked as she knew exactly what the other girl was referring to.

           While Marinette would never say it, Lila knew, she had done the girl a favor. Showed her who her real friends were. Or weren’t. And without them, without the niceness and overly caring nature she once had, Marinette had thrived; gone further than Lila ever imagined.

           Lila had only wanted them because she liked the attention. However, she knew they weren’t real friends. No matter what Alya said, they weren’t besties. Lila didn’t trust the glasses-wearing girl as far she could throw her.

Because now I know…

I'd Rather Be Me than be with you!

           Most of her classmates looked sad. A few looked angry. Lila just looked up at her used to be nemesis with admiration and a small smile.

           A brief look of wonder and hope flashed over her face and for a moment she of just saying “To hell with it.” Screaming her sins and go binge watch Grey’s anatomy. Take up dance class when summer was over and the new school year began. She always loved dancing.

           It was the only thing Lila knew was honestly good at; great at even.

           But that moment passed. Lila liked her power. Besides, there was a good chance she could make everyone think Alya was crazy or lying to convince to save her blog; that Lila wasn’t the liar.

           Lila smirked. She had all summer to slowly leave breadcrumbs that Alya was reading too much into the situation, was too desperate, didn’t know what she was talking about. By the time the summer ended, Lila could have all other students convinced the once future great journalist had just lost her edge. So much so that it was reason Ladybug dissed the Ladyblog.

           Alya wouldn’t be a challenge like Marinette had been. Not even close. Marinette had been the Sherlock to Lila’s Moriarty. (If Marinette had kept the game going, Lila would’ve too. Until it was a full-scale war. No prisoners. Just blood; both metaphorical blood and the real red stuff.)

Alya would be too easy. But it would still be fun. Even if Alya managed to pull a fast one, there was no way their little friendships would survive what they did to Marinette. Not all the blame could be put on Lila, no matter how much they tried.

And when Marinette didn’t come back after the truth was revealed and they begged and apologized for never believing her; for not trusting her. Blame would shift. Especially if Lila changed classes like she knew Marinette had to be at least considering.

I'd Rather Be Me

           Because, Marinette would never be their friend again. They were just pawns in the game of life. And Marinette realized that while pawns could become queens. They never went back to being pawns again.

I'd Rather Be Me

I'd Rather Be Me than be with you!

Marinette was doing just fine. She wasn’t their friend. She didn’t like them.

And most importantly, Marinette didn’t care.

[heavenly-sadness]

Letting go hurts. Admitting defeat hurts. Forcing yourself to realize truths you don’t want to hear hurts. Being the one more invested, in love, committed, that hurts. But realizing it, that is what hurts the most.

I feel like emotionally I’ve set up some kind of boundary. I really wanted to have him to kind of lean on. For him to have the quest to give me the attention and love that I couldn’t give myself. I wanted him to be the one telling me that I was worth something, that someone I loved valued me - because if that person did, then maybe so could I? I think the feelings of sorrow and loneliness was actually me realizing that it just wasn’t enough. Him, on the other side of the planet, wasn’t enough for me to fall in love with myself. I have been so sad and I have shed so many, many tears. I have had my stomach aching first thing in the morning. I have had my mind racing - seeing the world crash before me were he to one day decide he no longer would want me. I think all of that sadness kind of did something to me. I feel like I suddenly realized things I tried to tell myself before. All the amazing feelings, memories and experiences with this person - was with one person on the planet. Imagine all the other amazing feelings and experiences waiting in that endless sea of other beautiful people. No matter how hard I’ve tried to tell myself that before I just haven’t been susceptible to it. The heartbreak of losing the person I felt I had was too great to even consider what was still left to experience. The world is huge and can offer so much. I found him, right? I thought I'd never fall in love again, or to have the honor of someone loving me. But I did, and he did too. He is just one person, out of plenty more. We’ve experienced such crazy and amazing things. I wrote him a letter with the words ”you gave me the love story I have read about in romance novels” once. To this day I really have to stand by those words. He really did. He gave me a love story more fiery and passionate than I thought could be found in the real world.

He held my hand every second he could. No matter if it was sweaty. He protected me in the subway, holding his arms around me were someone to knock into me. He told me I was beautiful, every single time we met. He carried my bag, even when I used to slap his arm and tell him he was dorky for doing it. He took me any place I wanted to go. One week into knowing me he surprised me with my two favorite dishes and a cake to celebrate my birthday since he couldn’t be with me on the day itself. He gave me late night deep talks in cozy bars. He gave me steamy cab-rides home. He took a detour half way across town to be able to see me for 15 minutes before he had to take the last train. He bought me food, even when I asked him not to, because he wanted to. He introduced me to his neighbors, to the man owning his favorite restaurant, to his friends. He always asked me how I had slept the night before. He used to send me texts to check up on me during the day. He gave me my dream trip to the most beautiful city by the sea. He gave me the sunday morning slowly waking up for hours with the sun slowly creeping in through the curtains of the room on the 70th floor of the hotel. He gave me soft kisses on my nose when I was lying on his chest while he was working. He stroked my leg even when he didn’t think about it. He made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe. He would laugh at me, that kind of laugh you can’t control, making me feel like I was funny. He sometimes looked at me in that special way after a deep conversation, to finally say ”you impress me every day”. One time we had gone a week without seeing each other and we were lying in his bed, we both started laughing at something to the point of it being hard to talk until we both finally took a deep breath and in that same breath we both said ”I have really missed you”. That was, and still is, so special to me. He did all the things I would cringe at others doing. He took my straw out of the paper and put it in my soda and even folded it so I could drink it easier. He sung me serenades. He did such dorky, cringe-worthy, lovey-dovey things. He followed me to the airport. He was by my side until a gate separated us. He held my eyes until our gazes didn’t meet anymore. And all of this, was without asking him to be that way. All of this being things I have wanted since I first read of love. All of this being things I thought only happened in movies. He gave me the validation that a love like that exists. He gave me so many happy memories.

We had so many sides that were like made for each other, that were so good. We shared most of the same humor. We both impressed each other. We both loved food and sex. We both loved singing. We both loved adventure. We both loved life.

That being said, we had equally as many sides that just crashed completely. Some of them being the same toxic traits we shared. We were both so incredibly stubborn. So incredibly proud. Neither one of us wanted to be the first one to apologize. And when two people go around both thinking they deserve an apology it get’s pretty difficult to solve almost anything.

He was immature. He could almost never argue in a ”sensible” way and he hated when he thought I was being ”smart” or ”logical” during an argument. To be honest I never knew what he meant. How else would you solve a conflict? He would sometime answer my text messages with ”ok” just to piss me off. And he would succeed every time. He liked playing these power games, where he would just take away a bit of his love if he was mad. He would get pretty mean and tell me hurtful things when he was mad at me. He graded his love for me and more than once he would imply that I loved him more than he loved me. I think I was too stuck in the good fairy-tale memories to be able to see the toxicity for what it was rather than become a needy heroin-addict craving more shots, which is what I became. For some reason I fully believed that my world as I knew it would come crashing down if he were to decide to take away this precious love he gave me. But how precious was it? He got mad at me a lot. He got jealous, even though he still kept a girl he used to sleep with as one of his best friends. He never wanted to listen to me explain misunderstandings. It was almost like he didn’t want to solve fights. He would get annoyed when we didn’t share the same opinion instead of trying to see my side of the story. He would criticize what I posted on my social media leaving messages like ”geez, someone needs fucking attention”. I posted my belly while tanning and he said he didn’t know me anymore. He actually even said he wanted to break up with me because of it. He ripped my selfconfidence apart to the point not even tears wanted my company. Turns out that it’s much harder to cry without tears than with them. He slowly became darker. Like a darkness from within spreading inside him, a little more noticeable each fight. That time, with the picture, it became more visible than before. I could almost see the dark thing behind him, now fully present, whisper things in his ear. He became emotionabusive. Had he been next to me, and not on the other side of the earth, I am pretty sure that he would’ve hit me. The tone became threatening, saying he should let me go because I apparently was so much of an attention whore that he couldn’t give me what I wanted. No matter how I tried to explain that it was all a mistake and that I wasn’t seeking anyone else’s attention but his, he was stuck in his threat of ”letting me go”. I almost wanted him to. Because at that time, even in the moment, I felt that it was incredibly unhealthy. I asked him what he wanted me to do - and to not post anything on social media was the response. I told him I was sorry and that I loved him and his reply was ”I don’t care if you love me less as long as you learn to fucking listen to what I am telling you”. Controlling, jealous and demanding. The traits that didn’t fit into my little fairytale.

That night I realized I felt happier on the days when we didn’t speak. I realized my confidence was higher the days we didn’t speak. I realized he was in fact not adding to my self worth at all, he was stripping me of what little worth I thought I had. Again, he was using my pure heart against me. He used my love, and his lack of it, meticulously. Like a hockey team during power play. Holding me over the fire until I squirmed the way he wanted me to, then he would retract me from it just to later put me back over again. Saying ”I want to let you go” having me answer with ”I don’t want this. I love you. But if this is truly what you want, that would break my heart, but then that’s it.” to just reply with ”Oh, so you are not even gonna fight for it. Fine then that’s it”. He was playing rat and mouse. Breaking me down til I was mentally, emotionally and physically on my knees just begging him to not stop talking to me. Even then he had to add ”I wish I could tell you that I love you right now”. But noticing I was so broken, to mend the bruises he added ”I will love you”, to somehow give me hope I guess. As if love was an on/off switch.

I have never before in my life found myself in an abusive relationship. He had showed me tendencies during the fairytale-play but never to this extent. I guess this is how it works for everyone. They wait until you are so emotionally hooked that you would stay through whatever. And I did.

[imeightout]

OUR TIME APART

I do not own this gif. credit to @jinyoungot7​

“You must be another one of Jinyoung’s admirers.”

→ jinyoung and reader

→ angst

→ he’s a successful ceo but just five years ago he used to be the love of your life

Everyone in the department was busy typing away at their computers, it was a bit on the quiet side but it didn’t really bother you.

Ever since your encounter with Jinyoung, you’ve been on edge. There were times were you didn’t even want to go to the bathroom for fear you’d run into him. However it had already been two days and he hadn’t shown his face to you once.

And somehow that bothered you.

Not because you still had feelings for him but because you had so much more to say to him.

You breathed out a sigh as you grabbed the papers together and slid them into a manila folder. You could heard Jaebeom listening to music softly from his desk and could smell the cologne Yugyeom had on.

They kept asking you what was wrong but you were so short with people lately they decided it would be better to let you be.

“Good morning everyone.” A high pitched voice called out. You looked over to see a girl in an expensive looking dress, hair curled nicely, and perfectly put on make up walk in with a couple of guys pulling push carts. “I just wanted to introduce myself,” she began as she grinned from ear to ear.

“I’m Nayeon, CEO Park’s fiancee.”

When the words left her mouth you pinched yourself to see if you were dreaming. This was the girl he was marrying? Of all the people in the world he settled for her? 

Even her voice was irritating.

“I brought some breakfast for all of you, come and help yourselves.” Nayeon flashed another smile before retreating out of the department.

“Wow so the rumors are true.” Jisoo muttered underneath her breath. “I was expecting someone a little bit less her.” She continued cracking a smile before walking over to one of the pushcarts.

You sat in your seat before jumping up from your chair and disappearing into the bathroom. “Wait, am I really upset about this?” You whispered to yourself in disbelief.

You had moved on from Jinyoung, why would you care if he was getting married?

Maybe it’s because at one point in time you thought you were going to marry him.

You were about to head out of the bathroom when someone walked out of a stall, you wouldn’t have paid too much attention if you hadn’t noticed the same emerald green fabric.

“You must be another one of Jinyoung’s admirers.” Nayeon said to you a small smirk on her mouth. “It must be upsetting to hear about the engagement, I’ll be sure to take care of him really well.” She continued washing her hands and you bit down on your tongue hard.

It wasn’t until you saw the smug look on her face before you laughed bitterly. “You two deserve each other.” You whispered before leaving the bathroom in a hurry.

When Jinyoung told his mother that he’d go through with the engagement to Nayeon, the news just exploded.

Nayeon started to plan the wedding alongside her mother and Jinyoung’s mother nagged at him to get a move on things nonstop. Everyone was excited, everyone except the husband to be.

After his conversation with Jackson, he had spent the whole night laying in bed thinking about what he could do to save his relationship with you however he realized at around six in the morning that there wasn’t anything he could do.

Jinyoung was upset about it but he figured that as long as you were happy nothing else really mattered. As much as he wanted to see you again he made the decision to stay out of anything having to do with you unless it was work related.

So while he sat at his desk thinking about you, it was the only thing he could really do at this point, the door flew open and in walked Nayeon but instead of her usual cheery self she had an angry expression on her face.

“I want that rat from the marketing department fired.” She approached Jinyoung at his desk and crossed her arms in a fit of anger. You’d swear she was five instead of twenty three.

“What?” Jinyoung rubbed his face with his hands before looking at her. “I found out her name is Y/N, I want her fired.” Jinyoung paused and hoped that you hadn’t said anything to her. “What did she do?” He questioned with curiosity. “She’s one of your many fangirls, I can deal with most of them but this one actually thinks she can steal you away from me.”

Jinyoung looked at her for a moment. “Are you sure you’re talking about Y/N?” Nayeon nodded and sat on the edge of his desk. “I don’t want her taking you away from me. You’re going to be my husband, not hers.”

Jinyoung couldn’t even look at Nayeon after that because although he was marrying her he wasn’t actually in love with her, he was doing this out of convenience not because of feelings.

You were the only girl he ever wanted to marry but Jinyoung came to terms with the fact that there wasn’t anything he could say that would change the way you felt about him so he moved on, unfortunately the only person available was Nayeon.

“She isn’t taking me away from you.” Jinyoung said after a moment of thought, his words making Nayeon’s heart flutter. “That doesn’t mean that I have feelings for you.”

He got up from his chair and stood in front of her, keeping the distance. “We may be getting married but I don’t love you and I never will. This marriage is only for the sake of this company and for my mother.” Nayeon’s eyes were beginning to fill with tears and Jinyoung would’ve felt a bit guilty about it if he hadn’t still been lost in thought about so many things.

“I have work to do.” He said as he sat back down in the chair, signaling the end of the conversation.

                                                              ❁

Seeing the look on your face made Jackson, Mark, and Jamie begin to worry. They were at a lost as to why you were so out of it in the first place, you hadn’t said a word since you walked into your apartment to find them making themselves at home.

“Should we take her to the hospital or something?” Jackson asked. “No you idiot, what are they going to do?” Jamie rolled her eyes and glanced over to you. “Y/N, come on, what’s going on?” She placed a hand on your shoulder which made you relax a little.

Your eyes made their way to Jackson and Mark who looked back at you suspiciously. “Did you guys know?” You asked. “Know what?” Mark asked quizzically.

“Did you know he was getting married?” Your face softened ever so slightly when you leaned back into your seat. “I don’t even know why I’m asking, it’s not like it would change anything nor would it make me feel any better to find out the answer.”

You let out another sigh and stood up. “I’m going to take a bath.” You said abruptly before disappearing into your room.

“Married? He’s getting married? To who and why didn’t you tell me?” Jamie questioned as she slapped Jackson’s arm. “Uh first of all, ow. Second of all we didn’t know anything about that.” Jackson responded. “Why wouldn’t he say anything to us? You think his mom finally forced him to marry Nayeon?” Jackson turned to Mark.

“I just found out the same piece of information as you, how am I supposed to know?” Mark retorted with a roll of his eyes.

“A simple I don’t know would have been good.”

“I feel so bad.” Jamie said as she frowned. “It’s obvious she still has feelings for him, I just wish she’d get over him. He’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve her.” Jackson wanted to say something about the situation but he wasn’t sure he should, truth be told he was hoping you would let Jinyoung explain and the two of you would be together again but he also knew that even after all these years you were still hurt and angry, rightfully so.

“Maybe they just weren’t meant to be together.” Mark said into the silent room and Jackson sat there wondering if what he said to Jinyoung had anything to do with this engagement.

                                                             ❁

When you took a seat at the empty table you were flooded with memories.

You knew this was a bad idea but your thoughts were a jumbled mess.

Marriage? That was a big deal, as far as you knew they were all just rumors, the more you thought about it the more upset you got.

Because you shouldn’t be upset about the situation if anything you should be happy that he was moving on with his life just like you were.

You looked down at the coffee mug in your hands and blew on the coffee that was sitting inside of it. It was around five in the evening and you should’ve been back at the apartment to make sure Jamie, Jackson, and Mark weren’t causing a ruckus but you needed space away from everybody.

You stared out the window as Jinyoung took a seat in front of you making you jump ever so slightly. “What are you doing?” You asked slowly. “I’ve been here since you walked in. I didn’t think you’d remember this spot.” He said truthfully.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” You said to him making him sigh. “I know, you hate me. You told me multiple times already. Look I know your feelings will never change but can I at least explain why I didn’t say goodbye?”

“Isn’t your fiancee going to get mad if she finds out you’re talking to me? I heard she wants me fired.” You totally passed by his question and it upset him a bit that you changed the subject.

“I never stopped loving you.” He blurted while his eyes were glued to you. “I didn’t say goodbye because things were easier that way. I never once lied to you.”

“I really don’t think we should be having this conversation.” You said to him. “Remember when how we first found this place?” He smiled sadly while looking down at his coffee.

“How could I forget.” You replied.

FLASHBACK

Jinyoung usually hated his birthday.

Growing up his parents were always so busy he never got to celebrate it. You knew there was a slight chance he’d get upset but you were willing to make this birthday really special.

You smoothed out your shirt and pulled your coat over your body, it was a bit chilly out for it to be September but you didn’t mind, you liked cold weather.

The smile on your face made Jinyoung very suspicious, he knew something was up he just didn’t know what.

He held the door open for you as you both walked down the street, you were leading him towards the park you both frequented. “What’s this?” He asked with a bright laugh while you pulled him over. “Happy Birthday.” You said to him with a smile.

There was a table set up with decorations and a cake sat on top of it. “You did all of this by yourself?” He asked while looking down at the frosted covered cake. “Hmm, maybe?” You giggled as you lit the candles and looked at him patiently. “Make a wish.” You whispered to him.

He did as he was told, shutting his eyes and then opening them, blowing out the candles and looking over at you. “Thank you.” He said but before either of you could even think of what to do next there was rain drops beginning to come down.

“Come on!” Jinyoung slipped his hand into yours and dragged you away towards table, rushing down the street before he spotted a brightly lit cafe. He pulled you inside and the two of you found a table by the window.

You frowned as you sat down, fixing your hair and sighing except a smile appeared on your face when you heard Jinyoung laughing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was going to rain today.”

“Don’t you check the weather before you leave the house?” He questioned with a smile. “Very funny, you don’t need to make me feel worse than I do.”

He grabbed at your hands from across the table and smiled sincerely. “I love you.” He said with lightly wet hair. “What?” You replied. “I love you, thank you for making this birthday the best one I’ve had.”

His words made your heart flutter and you smiled back at him. “I love you too.”

PRESENT

“That was a good birthday.” He said as he remembered the day so clearly.

“Too bad we weren’t able to have anymore.” You replied with bitterness. You took a swig of your coffee. 

“I know I hurt you, I know things will never be the same but I’m telling you I never meant to hurt you. I loved you, I still do.”

His confession surprised you, you did just find out that he was engaged.

“I don’t think your fiancee would appreciate that.” You snapped while staring out the window. “Stop bringing her up.” He said angrily. “She has nothing to do with this.” He said to you. “Of course she does, she’s your fiancee Jinyoung, she isn’t just some random girl. How can you do that to someone you love?”

“Because I don’t love her, I love you! How many times do I have to apologize, do I have to go down on my knees and beg for you to forgive me?” You scoffed and looked over at him with a clenched jaw.

“If you love me then why are you getting married to her?” You asked him suddenly.

“Because I can’t marry you.”

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[crimsoncobaltblue]

Who Done It?

((Ok so this is actually based off a dream I had once and it made me laugh so I figured I should write a fic based on it! But not only that!! I figured this could also be a present for my two friends @ashdash2417 and @cl-babydew for their birthdays! Sorry this was late for both of you! I hope you both know you are absolutely wonderful people who deserve love and support and I know you both didn’t have the greatest birthdays so I hope my lil present helps! Love you both so much! 💙))

“So. Who did it?” Uncle Donald asked everyone that was gathered in the in the foyer. I looked at Huey, Louie, and Webby. All of them were drenched just like me.

“I’m not mad.” Uncle Donald said as he walked closer to the couch they were all sitting on. “I just want to know.”

I did my best to not show any nervous habits because under Uncle Donald’s scrutiny, I’d be be dead unless I was careful!

Look, the washing machine catching fire while it was full of half-washed clothes was a complete accident! Who knew a bag of unpopped popcorn had the ability to cause a fire?

I definitely didn’t know, otherwise I would’ve remembered to take it out before my laundry went into the machine. Well, probably would’ve remembered. Ok, probably not. But I would’ve tried to! That’s what’s important here!

No one was answering Donald’s questions. We all stayed silent. Webby looked extremely confused. She had no idea what even happened, she just tried to help put out the fire when me and my brothers and her discovered it.

Huey and Louie, however, were fully aware of what I was capable of. Especially when it came to accidental trouble-making. Which sucks.

“Just tell me the truth, and I promise I won’t get upset.” Uncle Donald promised but I knew better than to fall for that. That promise was rarely ever fulfilled.

Stupid, self-righteous Huey was a different story though.

“It was Dewey putting a dumb popcorn bag in with his laundry! That’s what caught the washing machine on fire!” Huey stood up, making some water begin to pool on the ground beneath him. He tried wringing out some of the water on the edge of his shirt.

“Hey!” I exclaimed indignantly. “It’s not like did it on purpose! It was a complete accident! I didn’t mean to do that!” I defended myself as Huey settled back onto the couch.

“Why in the heck did you even have a popcorn bag hidden in your dirty laundry????” Huey cried out in a desperately confused voice.

His guess was as good as mine, I’ll be honest here. But I couldn’t let him know that.

I was about to retort when Uncle Donald interrupted. “Look, boys, just tell me how this whole situation went down, alright?” I was honestly surprised by the calmness in his raspy voice. Normally he would’ve already been going ballistic but I guess this was one of those few times Uncle Donald genuinely tried to not get upset.

Part of me still didn’t want to tell the story and end up getting in trouble.

The other part of me just thought this whole situation was a pretty fricking great story to tell and it deserved to be heard.

The latter part won out after some not-so-careful consideration.

“Okay, well it all started yesterday when Huey came hone with a bunch of popcorn for our usual movie night.” I started off and Huey nodded, remembering that from last night. Good, glad he’s finally backing me up instead of ratting me out.

“Huey had like twenty bags of popcorn ready to be popped so I just took one to save for myself for later. And if I had hid it in the kitchen, it would’ve been found so I hid it where no one would find it!” I said with a smile. It was a good hiding place for it too! These two chuckleheads never even knew it was there.

“Yeah, you hid it so well you couldn’t even find it.” Louie finally piped up, talking in a fake impressed tone I did not appreciate.

“If I had wanted your judgy opinion, I would’ve asked for it, Llewelyn.” I replied and Webby, who was seated on the other side of Louie, had to hold back my green-clad brother as I slid closer to Huey.

“Don’t. Call me that.” He spat while reaching out his arms to me but Webby stopped him.

Okay, maybe that was not a great idea. Weird, normally I’m full of good ones. Today just isn’t my day, I guess.

“Boys, please continue.” Uncle Donald said from a nearby plush chair that he must’ve sat in while Louie tried to attack me. Nice to know he was so concerned about an attempted murder here.

“Yeah, please keep going.” Webby said, firmly holding tight to the hood on Louie’s hoodie. She seemed pretty interested so I kept going.

“Alright well that’s pretty much it! Mrs. Beakley came and got our laundry and threw it in the washing machine. Technically this wasn’t even my fault since I didn’t put it in the machine.” I tried.

I got glared at by everyone for that last statement. I guess they didn’t buy it. Darn. Oh well, it was worth the shot.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.” Huey said before looking back toward Uncle Donald. “After the wash had started, Dewey and Webby were sword fighting with some fake swords and right around that time I smelled smoke and so I grabbed Louie, Webby, and Dewey and we went off to find the fire. And we did. Find it, that is.” Huey paused, looking at Louie to see if he wanted to take over from there.

Louie shrugged. “We found the fire and tried to put it out.” He explained simply. Wow. So exciting. I’m on the edge of my seat.

“It was really pretty exciting to do that though!!!” Webby burst out, happy to tell her part of the story.

“We tried fanning the flames but that made it worse! So we tried to smother them but all the towels and stuff in there were dry and they caught fire making it even MORE WORSE! Then,” She paused getting off the soaked couch to start demonstrating what happened.

I smiled a bit, mainly because her story-telling was entertaining but also because this was a great part!

“Me and Dewey ran outside and got the water hose and ran back in and sprayed THE WHOLE ROOM WITH WATER!!! The fire went out and we were all soaked and then the washing machine opened up and a bunch of suds and bubbles came out and made an even bigger mess and then you got home.” She said, taking a breath before continuing again. Man, she could talk your ear off.

“Then you had us sit here and said, “So. Who did it?”” She started quoting him in a horrible attempt at his voice and I slapped a hand over my beak to stop from laughing too loudly.

Uncle Donald shook his head and hands at her, signaling her to stop. “Yes, I was here for that part. You don’t need to tell that.” He then pinched the bridge of his beak and sighed.

“Well, you’re all okay and the fire did get put out. That’s what really matters.” Uncle Donald said as he got up and hugged us all.

Normally I wasn’t crazy about hugs from Uncle Donald but I had to be honest, that fire was pretty scary. Of course I’d never admit that out loud.

We all stayed huddled together for a while til finally Uncle Donald backed off. “Now, you all have to go back in there and start cleaning. I’ll ask Beakley for some sponges and cleaning supplies. Hopefully, we can get this mess all cleaned up together before-“ Uncle Donald got cut off by a shout.

“WOT IN DISMAL DOWNS HAPPENED TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM?!?!!!” We heard our Uncle Scrooge shriek.

Uncle Donald’s eyes flickered between us and where the scream came from. “Run and hide and let him cool down first though. Then we’ll start cleaning up our mess!” He explained and we definitely didn’t need to be told twice!

“Dewey!” Uncle Donald yelled out as we were running away but I stopped.

“Yeah?” I asked, looking back while desperately wanting to keep up with my brothers and Webby.

Donald shook his head. I think I even saw a smile on his face. “First the house boat and now the washing machine? You really have got to stop setting things on fire. Now, go.” He said and I tried not to smile.

Yeah, I definitely had some bad luck when it came to flammable and even supposedly inflammable things.

“Got it! I’ll be sure to set fire to something that actually needs it!” I replied and then took off before he could tell me that’s not what he meant.

((Not the most entertaining thing but eh I thought it was funny, besides I hope Ash and Izzy like this! Happy birthday again to you both!!! I only wish I could make a better present lol x3))

[imeightout]

OUR TIME APART | PARK JINYOUNG

one | two | three 

“You must be another one of Jinyoung’s admirers.”

pairing: jinyoung x reader

summary: he’s a successful ceo but just five years ago he used to be the love of your life

Everyone in the department was busy typing away at their computers, it was a bit on the quiet side but it didn’t really bother you. 

Ever since your encounter with Jinyoung, you’ve been on edge. There were times were you didn’t even want to go to the bathroom for fear you’d run into him. However it had already been two days and he hadn’t shown his face to you once. 

And somehow that bothered you.

Not because you still had feelings for him but because you had so much more to say to him.

You breathed out a sigh as you grabbed the papers together and slid them into a manila folder. You could heard Jaebum listening to music softly from his desk and could smell the cologne Yugyeom had on.

They kept asking you what was wrong but you were so short with people lately they decided it would be better to let you be. 

“Good morning everyone.” A high pitched voice called out. You looked over to see a girl in an expensive looking dress, hair curled nicely, and perfectly put on make up walk in with a couple of guys pulling push carts. “I just wanted to introduce myself,” she began as she grinned from ear to ear. 

“I’m Nayeon, CEO Park’s fiancee.” 

When the words left her mouth you pinched yourself to see if you were dreaming. This was the girl he was marrying? Of all the people in the world he settled for her? Even her voice was irritating. 

“I brought some breakfast for all of you, come and help yourselves.” Nayeon flashed another smile before retreating out of the department. 

“Wow so the rumors are true.” Jisoo muttered underneath her breath. “I was expecting someone a little bit less her.” She continued cracking a smile before walking over to one of the pushcarts. 

You sat in your seat before jumping up from your chair and disappearing into the bathroom. “Wait, am I really upset about this?” You whispered to yourself in disbelief. 

You had moved on from Jinyoung, why would you care if he was getting married? 

Maybe it’s because at one point in time you thought you were going to marry him.

You were about to head out of the bathroom when someone walked out of a stall, you wouldn’t have paid too much attention if you hadn’t noticed the same emerald green fabric. 

“You must be another one of Jinyoung’s admirers.” Nayeon said to you a small smirk on her mouth. “It must be upsetting to hear about the engagement, I’ll be sure to take care of him real well.” She continued washing her hands and you bit down on your tongue hard. 

It wasn’t until you saw the smug look on your face before you laughed bitterly. “You two deserve each other.” You whispered before leaving the bathroom in a hurry. 

When Jinyoung told his mother that he’d go through with the engagement to Nayeon, the news just exploded. 

Nayeon started to plan the wedding alongside her mother and Jinyoung’s mother nagged at him to get a move on things non stop. Everyone was excited, everyone except the husband to be. 

After his conversation with Jackson, he had spent the whole night laying in bed thinking about what he could do to save his relationship with you however he realized at around six in the morning that there wasn’t anything he could do. 

Jinyoung was upset about it but he figured that as long as you were happy nothing else really mattered. As much as he wanted to see you again he made the decision to stay out of anything having to do with you unless it was work related. 

So while he sat at his desk thinking about you, it was the only thing he could really do at this point. The door flew open and in walked Nayeon but instead of her usual cheery self she had an angry expression on her face. 

“I want that rat from the marketing department fired.” She approached Jinyoung at his desk and crossed her arms in a fit of anger. You’d swear she was five instead of twenty three. 

“What?” Jinyoung rubbed his face with his hands before looking at her. “I found out her name is Y/n, I want her fired.” Jinyoung paused and hoped that you hadn’t said anything to her. “What did she do?” He questioned with curiosity. “She’s one of your many fangirls, I can deal with most of them but this one actually thinks she can steal you away from me.” 

Jinyoung looked at her for a moment. “Are you sure you’re talking about Y/n?” Nayeon nodded and sat on the edge of his desk. “I don’t want her taking you away from me. You’re going to be my husband, not hers.” 

Jinyoung couldn’t even look at Nayeon after that because although he was marrying her he wasn’t actually in love with her, he was doing this out of convenience not because of feelings. 

You were the only girl he ever wanted to marry but Jinyoung came to terms with the fact that there wasn’t anything he could say that would change the way you felt about him so he moved on, unfortunately the only person available was Nayeon. 

“She isn’t taking me away from you.” Jinyoung said after a moment of thought, his words making Nayeon’s heart flutter. “That doesn’t mean that I have feelings for you.” 

He got up from his chair and stood in front of her, keeping the distance. “We may be getting married but I don’t love you and I never will. This marriage is only for the sake of this company and for my mother.” Nayeon’s eyes were beginning to fill with tears and Jinyoung would’ve felt a bit guilty about it if he hadn’t still been lost in thought about so many things. 

“I have work to do.” He said as he sat back down in the chair, signaling the end of the conversation. 

Seeing the look on your face made Jackson, Mark, and Jamie begin to worry. They were at a lost as to why you were so out of it in the first place, you hadn’t said a word since you walked into your apartment to find them making themselves at home.

“Should we take her to the hospital or something?” Jackson asked. “No you idiot, what are they going to do?” Jamie rolled her eyes and glanced over to you. “Y/n, come on, what’s going on?” She placed a hand on your shoulder which made you relax a little. 

Your eyes made their way to Jackson and Mark who looked back at you suspiciously. “Did you guys know?” You asked. “Know what?” Mark asked quizzically. 

“Did you know he was getting married?” Your face softened ever so slightly when you leaned back into your seat. “I don’t even know why I’m asking, it’s not like it would change anything nor would it make me feel any better to find out the answer.” 

You let out another sigh and stood up. “I’m going to take a bath.” You said abruptly before disappearing into your room.

“Married? He’s getting married? To who and why didn’t you tell me?” Jamie questioned as she slapped Jackson’s arm. “Uh first of all, ow. Second of all we didn’t know anything about that.” Jackson responded. “Why wouldn’t he say anything to us? You think his mom finally forced him to marry Nayeon?” Jackson turned to Mark.

“I just found out the same piece of information as you, how am I supposed to know?” Mark retorted with a roll of his eyes. 

“A simple I don’t know would have been good.” 

“I feel so bad.” Jamie said as she frowned. “It’s obvious she still has feelings for him, I just wish she’d get over him. He’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve her.” Jackson wanted to say something about the situation but he wasn’t sure he should, truth be told he was hoping you would let Jinyoung explain and the two of you would be together again but he also knew that even after all these years you were still hurt and angry, rightfully so.

“Maybe they just weren’t meant to be together.” Mark said into the silent room and Jackson sat there wondering if what he said to Jinyoung had anything to do with this engagement. 

When you took a seat at the empty table you were flooded with memories. 

You knew this was a bad idea but your thoughts were a jumbled mess. 

Marriage? That was a big deal, as far as you knew they were all just rumors, the more you thought about it the more upset you got.

Because you shouldn’t be upset about the situation if anything you should be happy that he was moving on with his life just like you were. 

You looked down at the coffee mug in your hands and blew on the coffee that was sitting inside of it. It was around five in the evening and you should’ve been back at the apartment to make sure Jamie, Jackson, and Mark weren’t causing a ruckus but you needed space away from everybody.

You stared out the window as Jinyoung took a seat in front of you making you jump ever so slightly. “What are you doing?” You asked slowly. “I’ve been here since you walked in. I didn’t think you’d remember this spot.” He said truthfully. 

“I don’t want to talk to you.” You said to him making him sigh. “I know, you hate me. You told me multiple times already. Look I know your feelings will never change but can I at least explain why I didn’t say goodbye?” 

“Isn’t your fiancee going to get mad if she finds out you’re talking to me? I heard she wants me fired.” You totally passed by his question and it upset him a bit that you changed the subject. 

“I never stopped loving you.” He blurted while his eyes were glued to you. “I didn’t say goodbye because things were easier that way. I never once lied to you.” 

“I really don’t think we should be having this conversation.” You said to him. “Remember when how we first found this place?” He smiled sadly while looking down at his coffee. 

“How could I forget?” You replied. 

FLASHBACK

Jinyoung usually hated his birthday. 

Growing up his parents were always so busy he never got to celebrate it. You knew there was a slight chance he’d get upset but you were willing to make this birthday really special.

You smoothed out your shirt and pulled your coat over your body, it was a bit chilly out for it to be September but you didn’t mind, you liked cold weather.

The smile on your face made Jinyoung very suspicious, he knew something was up he just didn’t know what. 

He held the door open for you as you both walked down the street, you were leading him towards the park you both frequented. “What’s this?” He asked with a bright laugh while you pulled him over. “Happy Birthday.” You said to him with a smile.

There was a table set up in decorations and a cake sat on top of it. “You did all of this by yourself?” He asked while looking down at the frosted covered cake. “Hmm, maybe?” You giggled as you lit the candles and looked at him patiently. “Make a wish.” You whispered to him.

He did as he was told, shutting his eyes and then opening them, blowing out the candles and looking over at you. “Thank you.” He said but before either of you could even think of what to do next there was rain drops beginning to come down.

“Come on!” Jinyoung slipped his hand into yours and dragged you away towards table, rushing down the street before he spotted a brightly lit cafe. He pulled you inside and the two of you found a table by the window.

You frowned as you sat down, fixing your hair and sighing except a smile appeared on your face when you heard Jinyoung laughing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was going to rain today.” 

“Don’t you check the weather before you leave the house?” He questioned with a smile. “Ha very funny, you don’t need to make me feel worse than I do.” 

He grabbed at your hands from across the table and smiled sincerely. “I love you.” He said with lightly wet hair. “What?” You replied. “I love you, thank you for making this birthday the best one I’ve had.” 

His words made your heart flutter and you smiled back at him. “I love you too.” 

PRESENT 

“That was a good birthday.” He said as he remembered the day so clearly. 

“Too bad we weren’t able to have anymore.” You replied with bitterness. You took a swig of your coffee. “I know I hurt you, I know things will never be the same but I’m telling you I never meant to hurt you. I loved you, I still do.” 

His confession surprised you, you did just find out that he was engaged. 

“I don’t think your fiancee would appreciate that.” You snapped while staring out the window. “Stop bringing her up.” He said angrily. “She has nothing to do with this.” He said to you. “Of course she does, she’s your fiancee Jinyoung, she isn’t just some random girl. How can you do that to someone you love?” 

“Because I don’t love her, I love you! How many times do I have to apologize, do I have to go down on my knees and beg for you to forgive me?” You scoffed and looked over at him with a clenched jaw. 

“If you love me then why are you getting married to her?” You asked him suddenly. 

“Because I can’t marry you.”