#I think Vox would need to tie up Al to actually feed him up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tianrenart · 3 months ago

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from that "directors cut" thing, my question is: what is your favorite aspect of both Vox and Alastor to write? It can be their own personal things or something about how they function together :)

Oh gosh this is a hard one. There are ao many things 🤣 and the possibility of going into a radiostatic foaming at the mouth rant while I talk about this is very high, so I apologize in advance.

Favorite aspect of Vox to write is his ego, and the possibility that it’s actually very fragile. So big bad CEO, large and incharge but he lets himself be mistreated because he secretly loathes himself. This loathing I usually tie to his looks. It’s easy to do when writing in canon because he’s a TV, but in my human AU he’s obsessed with wrinkles and aging and uses a lot of skincare products/talks about botox. Most ppl with (I hesitate to use this word but can think of no other. Just know I am not using it as a clinical term) narcissistic tendencies actually have very fragile egos. They cover up/ignore their insecurities coming off as very confident and in control. That’s Vox to me. Hints this line in Tuesday :

“Vox groaned not realizing how much he agreed with the statement. Never understanding where his needs to be degraded came from. He just wanted to hear how stupid he was. How little he meant. He wanted his deepest insecurities confirmed. That he was never and could never be loved. He wanted it repeated over and over again so that maybe his heart would stop longing for the things he wasn’t good enough to deserve. Like Alastor’s affection. Even if the radio demon loved him it only caused him pain, because Vox was fundamentally flawed, and he wanted to hear that.”

Favorite thing to write about Alastor, is his dark side and the possibility that he’s using that to actually cover up a bleeding heart. So what I mean by that is that Alastor leans into being a monster/killer to keep ppl at arms length because he’s tired of being disappointed by others when they find things out about him. It’s also an ego game but instead of getting his confidence from control in business/sucess he gets it from having the power to control someone’s life. Obviously this is most blatant in killing, that’s the ultimate control of life. Consumption of flesh is also controlling what the body is used for. It’s literally used to feed his ego. He can kill and eat you and there is nothing you can do about it. He’s scary and horrible so either fall in line or run away. Now he’s controlling the image you have of him and how you react towards him. Can’t be disappointed that ppl runaway scared when that’s what you MADE them do. But I think that Alastor actually craves human connection and relationships, as seen in the show with his conversation with Nifty. He just doesn’t want to let his guard down. He doesn’t want to lose control or make a mistake. I write Alastor as supressing his emotions to the point that he makes himself sick in Tuesday. The nausea is self inflicted and because of that it’s easy for him to brush off the headaches too. It’s his body physical rejection his true feelings, heart and mind battling it out. I honestly believe Alastor has anxiety and I write his anxiety exactly how I experience it myself. It’s not sympathetic. What I mean by that is me and Alastor default to fight instead of flight or fawn. Alastor is going to lash out and destroy what scares him and if that thing is his own heart then he’ll rip it out.

My favorite thing about writing them together is how obsession can lead to acceptance. Instead of writing Vox’s obsession with Alastor as him putting Al on a pedestal, I write it as him loving Alastor while fully acknowledging all the horrible dark things he is. Once Alastor figures out nothing he does seems to gef rid of Vox he also becomes obsessed. Obsessed with seeing what he can get away with, obsessed with the possibility that someone loves him despite it all. In refurn he accepts Vox’s affection because they see each other and don’t judge the darkness inside the other. To me that’s true intamcy, that’s true romance. Not writing poems and songs about all the good qualities of a partner but accepting the bad and still believing they are lovable, which in turn leads to the person wanting to be better because now they believe they can be. If someone can love them and all their fucked up shit, then there must be something good, something worth cultivating. Redemption through acceptance.

#writing thoughts #director’s cut #ask box #radiostatic #fanfic writing

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