#I think I'm back to my aa phase...

[karoo-o]

"Don't panic Justice, that's just prosecuter Gavin"

[frost-faerie]

so spirits are real and canon in ace attorney right. we're past the non-believing stage, let's get straight into business. ghosthunters OBVIOUSLY exist in the aa universe, and that leads me to my next point.

where. the FUCK. are the ghosthunters AU's.

I need a fic where the aa4 gang (apollo, klavier, trucy, ema) all hunt a ghost together. and holy mother i will write it myself if i have to

REGARDLESS!

here is what i think they would all do under the pressure of Death by Ghost:

Apollo- he's seen enough spiritual shit to get out of his "ghosts aren't real" phase, but he's still fucking terrified. he only came along because klavier told him they were getting eldoons. it's like telling a dog they're going to the park as you pull up to the vet

Klavier- he's very, very dramatic about it. All "i'm too young and hot to die!!" and "herr forehead save me!!!!! please this mascara cost 80$ I DON'T WANT TO WASTE IT BY DYING"

Trucy- she is jealous of the ghost. it's throwing plates around and scaring everyone and she IMMEDIATELY starts brainstorming ways to add it all into her acts. "Polly can you call daddy? I need to ask him if it's okay that I get a ghost in the wonderbar for my performance"

Ema- the only bitch who's taking this shit seriously. look me in my eye, look back at ema doing all her sciency shit, and tell me she WOULD'NT be into reading EMF levels and evaluating temperatures. it's like forensic science took a step up

[ivyial]

RIGHT SO

after my previous reblog, i feel compelled to write a "short" post (love letter) about (to) this game

so for those of you who haven't played it, or never even heard of it, professor layton vs phoenix wright: ace attorney is a crossover game between the two franchises (you'll have guessed it from the title) and it is PAINFULLY underrated :,) (i also hear that it is now hard to get physical copies of this game at a decent price so i'm glad i kept mine)

essentially used to be my favourite game of all time before it got dethroned by the resident evil 4 remake (but i will forever remember it fondly). i remember my parents gifted it to me for easter back in 2014 (so i was around 12 back then) and i don't think they realised how much this would change me. like this is one of the reasons why i started thinking about studying law later LMAOO.

essentially layton and phoenix both end up helping this young girl, espella (i played it in french back then and her name is aria so their english names are a struggle for me) who is being hunted by witches and then put on trial in london for the assault of a ship's crew member. then the wildest thing happens and they get sucked into a book and are sent back to medieval times. yes it sounds insane. but in this small town called labyrinthia, witches are real, and so are witch trials (DOESN'T IT SOUND COOL AS FUCK??).

they've all forgotten who they are, though. phoenix doesn't remember being an attorney and layton doesn't remember anything either. they find espella again, and she's put on trial AGAIN, for witchcraft this time. the game alternates between the usual layton riddles and ace attorney's investigation/trial phases. the odds are high this time around, because those found guilty of witchcraft are shoved into a metal cage and plunged into a pit of fire. they're not messing around.

of course, it wouldn't be layton or ace attorney without a massive plot twist at the end. i'd argue this one is probably the most insane out of all layton games (it's even a bit far fetched tbh, but just saying, you do not see it coming) (okay it's even full of plot holes and i haven't revisited the ending in years but if i did, i think it would be detrimental to my mental health).

the art style is amazing - i'm in love with the later ace attorney art styles, starting from dual destinies and this game, and particularly the latest great ace attorney chronicles. here are a few of my favourite character designs from the game:

but overall, one of the best things about the game has to be the soundtrack. it is the perfect mix of both franchises' music and it is a CRIME that neither level 5 nor capcom have released this on spotify (capcom i know you have all other AA soundtracks on this app. add this one. i am begging you). if you've never played an ace attorney game before, then you do not know the sheer adrenaline of phoenix shouting OBJECTION and the music speeding up. here's one of my favourite tracks:

tell me this doesn't make you immediately want to confess to 47 crimes you haven't committed.

it's kind of the perfect crossover game if you're into the genre, it's perfectly balanced between riddles and trials. the stakes are also a lot higher and there's actual executions. maybe i shouldn't have played this at the age of 12 actually - at some point (spoilers ahead), maya is wrongly executed and the scene will forever haunt me for some reason:

(go to 18:06 if the youtube timestamp doesn't work) i chose the french version of the cutscene because it's the one i played back then and i find that the french dub is a lot more compelling than the english one (somehow? the french haven't produced a good dub in decades so). also maya's screams are downright heartbreaking and the scene was traumatising asf when i was a kid

ANYWAY. please play this game, it's so much fun. for the AA enthusiasts, there's an edgeworth cameo at the very end. i very much fear that this game will be forgotten eventually, but it warms my heart to see that there are still people talking about it on the internet.

[the-bar-sinister]

Have you played the AA Investigations games? If yes, what did you think of them? Sadly I was only able to play for myself the first one (I couldn't make the translation patch for the second one work :( ), and let's just say that the novelty of playing as Edgeworth wore off quickly lol. The second one was much more ambitious with some stellar character arcs and a memorable final villain, but of course it's still stuck in "only in Japan" limbo...

Yes! We played both Investigations, and Investigations 2 (fan patch) about 10 years ago. Currently, we're in the middle of watching a letsplay/fandub of the games because uh, yeah. We're not going to play through them again. They're the worst 'games'-- NOT the worst stories– in the AA series.

I definitely can't blame you for saying the novelty wore off quickly. Investigations has some serious flaws as a game and in structure. Which is an absolute shame, because the characters and stories are some of my favorites.

I absolutely adore Detective Badd, Agent Lang, Shih-Nah, and Kay Faraday from the first game, and Sebastian Debeste and Justine Courtney from the second game are some of my favorite characters in the whole series.

It's also absolutely fantastic to get to see more of Miles and Gumshoe together. I just love them as a mystery solving pair. They have such delightful energy. It probably helps that I'm a gumworth shipper from way back of course XD

But frankly, the fantastic characters, interesting worldbuilding and good stories absolutely can't save the Investigations series from its faults.

Problems with Ace Attorney Investigations

the need for the narrative to telegraph to the player how to solve problems, and forcing the player to painstakingly go through each of Miles' thought processes as a game mechanic has the opposite of the intended effect. Instead of making the player feel clever it makes Miles Edgeworth seem, very, very stupid and slow.

logic chess (from the second game) is agonizing. It's a great character bit for Egdeworth, having him conceive every logical problem as a chess problem, but its a fucking agonizing game mechanic.

circular reasoning. Every case is way too long, and it goes around in circles. I feel like this is a result of the "trial" phases being outside the court and thus having no real mediator. It's very true to life because people are going to "nu-uh" for as long as they can, but, realistic or not, t's agonizing to explain the same things to characters over and over and over.

connected to the above, all of the cases are too long, and also some of the logical leaps that the games expect you to make are some of the worst in the series. From Apollo Justice onward the games got a lot better about having a clear line of logic for where you're supposed to present evidence. Investigations and investigations 2 are just fucking guesswork.

So yeah while I definitely think these games are fantastic lore and character wise and worth experiencing, they are absolutely aggravating to play. My personal suggestion for anyone who wants to experience them is to pick a lets play/walkthrough video of their favorite variety (commentary, dub, no commentary) and enjoy them without having to worry about the terrible fucking gameplay.

[sapphyreopal5]

Sapphyreopal5 Natal Chart Interpretation- Part 1

I previously shared my entire astro-seek.com chart here in this post. However, for reference sakes, I'm going to also put the chart below as well.

1st house- Ascendant (ASC) Ascendant in Taurus (Taurus ruler is Venus) "Taurus Rising" People who have Taurus Ascendant enter life slowly and relentlessly. They do not rush. They make plans, build and work systematically in order to achieve their goal. However, they might become lazy, or they want things to stay the same even though they have no longer purpose or meaning. The ruler of the Ascendant - Venus These people tend to act in accordance with their feelings, love, or passions. They like luxury, wealth and beauty. They do not like living alone and they need to be accepted by other people. They often take the path of the least resistance. They are good companions; they like good food and drinks. The ruler of the Ascendant (Venus) in Libra These people try to change their environment in a fair and equitable manner and with the permission of other people. They are prudent, polite and forgiving. The ruler of the Ascendant (Venus) in the 6th House These people are interested in health issues and in their work. They are likely to work for a company. They are efficient and modest.

10th house - Medium Coeli (MC) 10th house in Capricorn (Capricorn ruler is Saturn) People with Capricorn on the tenth house cusp have a great desire for career growth and they are likely to become scientists or work in education, libraries, construction or politics. Their career growth is gradual and stable. Capricorn on the tenth house in cusp brings success later in life. The ruler of the 10th House (Saturn) in the 10th House Career of these people involves rich social life. They are tireless workers aiming at absolute independence. At a mature age they often become well-known.

Sun in Scorpio People born under the sign of Scorpio can think very clearly, they have a good judgement and can assess situations very well. They also have a good memory and a very creative mind, which is characterised by its originality. They can be very obstinate when they defend their opinions. The reason for this behaviour is their justifiable confidence. Sun in the 6th House The Sun in the sixth house creates people who have a desire to achieve success at work and they have enough energy to achieve it, especially in jobs that are related to health care and helping others. It creates determined and dedicated workers. This position often leads to success in administration or in professions that require certain specialisation or skills. These people are interested in physical wellness and health, and they often find employment in professions associated with these fields.

Moon Crescent Moon (Waxing Crescent) (57°58’ Moon Phase Degree) Expansion, Growth, Struggle, Opportunity Moon in Sagittarius The greatest need is to always search for something. In order to feel safe you need a philosophy or belief. You need to have a goal or mission that gives your life meaning. Your faith must be voluntary and it is a paradox that fighting against dogmas may lead you to other dogmas. Moon in the 8th House The Moon in the eighth house creates people who find the feeling of security very important. These people are extremely thrifty. They have a strong sense of responsibility towards others and they are likely to engage in a movement that will be for the general good of humanity. They are aware of social trends and aspirations. They may have the ability to get money out of other people in an unfair way. This position often indicates inheritance.

For some background information on my career, I used to work for a large medical lab company as a specimen processor, had a brief stint at a pediatrician's office as a receptionist and even got my Bachelor of Science in Public Health Education back in December 2020. I at one point was in a 2 year AAS program for Cardiovascular Technology Noninvasive (think sonograms) but decided that was not for me. I must've applied to over 200 jobs in healthcare years ago when I was trying to transfer out of my lab job as a specimen processor. I landed a handful of interviews outside of the company. Internally at this large lab company, I interviewed with one department manager 7 times trying to transfer out, 7! I also applied to other internal jobs while there including for a team lead position in my department 3 times to no avail (they always picked someone else and all of whom left within a couple years).

I will say I was very dismayed at the way things were handled with COVID-19 by world leaders and witnessing the horrifying impact the shutdowns had on people's health along with other things. Between that and the many setbacks and "rejections "failures" I faced while in healthcare, I realized that maybe healthcare just isn't for me. I work in construction now, which is quite a different turn of direction. I will say that I am almost 34 now and agree that "success" is coming a bit later in life for me with my career, thus the "delays" from Saturn being in my 10th house (career, status, reputation). I'll delve into this later in this analysis but I can say I've faced a lot of delays growing up with a developmental disability which has transpired in my adult life I think. Am I going to be well known? Hmmm who knows...

I also spotted a couple interesting aspects in my chart with regards to the Ascendant (ASC) and the Medium Coeli (MC) below, as well as the sun and moon.

Ascendant Opposition Sun (5°19’, Separating) This aspect indicates a relationship between behaviour and the true nature of the person. It may create people that can unconsciously mislead others about their true nature or have attitudes that are harmful for them. Sun Sextile Moon (2°01’, Applying) Emotions and feelings of the Moon are in harmony with ego and individuality of the Sun. This contributes to balance, relaxation and inner peace. This aspect also greatly increases the chance to find success and satisfaction in life. Relationships with the opposite sex are mostly balanced and harmonious. Ascendant Trine Moon (7°21’, Separating) The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people adaptability and mental balance. Ascendant Square Node (2°48’, Separating) This interpretation wasn't readily available on my astro-seek.com interpretation of my chart. This is what I found per this link here from 12andus.com: "You need to adjust your attitude and perspective in order to fully embrace your destiny in this life time. Until you learn to look at life form a different perspective, you will continue to miss the mark when it comes to grasping your true calling. You may get into conflicts with others, trying to assert your will or following a path you believe will lead in the right direction only to become frustrated when things don't pan out according to your plans. If you learn to embrace conflict as opportunity and if you can learn the benefit of not always getting your way, you will be able to recognize when real opportunities to fulfill your destiny exist and not waste time and energy trying to cut through obvious dead ends."

My guides have been insisting I've been resisting my true purpose in life. They also said to me that I've been trying to change my destiny and change things, following on a path that is not for me and that is why I keep having setbacks. When I found out why I am on Earth still (a man mind you), I was very upset. I was even more upset when I learned that this is where my stability, good fortune, and happiness will come from. It goes against many things I grew up valuing heavily, like my independence and being able to accomplish things on my own. I afterall had only a little help with my son from his dad when I was doing online college while working second shift full-time, bought my house without any down payment assistance from family (did end up however enrolling in a first time home buyers program where I got assistance for it). Overall, my dating history has been interesting but I wouldn't say it is exactly the worst either. I'm generally considered a well-rounded person even if it may not seem like it with the things I discuss ha ha.

Actually in my therapy session last night, I spoke of feeling stuck in a cycle. I've had a repeat of certain elements showing up in my life in the last several years (ex. near car accident happening on Christmas Eve right before my son's Santa photos in Dec 2022 then actual car accident happening 10 days before Christmas Day Dec 2023 right before my son's Santa photos, car battery needing to be replaced 3 times since this past Nov and failing to start up early in the week before going to work, etc.).

I'm aware that when cycles repeat, we are meant to "correct" something we are doing or not doing. Similar to when Sam Winchester on Supernatural kept reliving Tuesday over and over again in the episode "Mystery Spot" 100 times but then also spent 6 months hunting down the Trickster after Dean's Wednesday death only to go back to the original Wednesday where Dean did not die (282 1/2 days or so of being in a time loop). Also in the 1993 movie Groundhog Day, according to an AI Overview states that Phil Connors relived Groundhog day for apparently 33 years and 350 days or 12,395 days (director Harold Ramis originally thought he was stuck for 10 years but later said the estimate was too low).

Mercury in Scorpio People with Mercury in Scorpio do not want reconciliation; they will use their imagination to think about revenge. Water brings emotion and inability to reconcile so people with Mercury in water signs tend to like art, mysticism and psychology. These people speak with emotions. Some people may see their bright and intelligent mind as a threat and become aggressive toward them. When they were younger, their rivals could have been those who should have known more, for example teachers or other authorities, or even older siblings. Their mind sees through people and they can use it to discover things that bother or interest them. These people are likely to work as psychologists, politicians, researchers or detectives. Mercury in the 6th House Mercury in the sixth house is related to health and help to other people. It tells us about methodological mental abilities and great ability to work mentally. It means that these people are likely to have a job that requires a specialisation or physical skills, for example working with computers or electronic devices. They have the tendency to become perfectionists and worry unnecessarily, especially about their duties, health and diet. They hate mess.

Ascendant Opposition Mercury (4°09’, Separating) The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people vitality and curiosity. The negative side of this aspect is that it may cause distractibility and restlessness. Sun Conjunction Mercury (1°10’, Separating) There can only be conjunction between the Sun and Mercury. People with this aspect are subjective and creative; they can express their ideas well and they are often very artistic. This is a great aspect for artists who perform on stage. These people are intellectuals, but their thinking is very subjective and they can sometimes lack objectivity or the ability to see things from the outside.

Moon Sextile Mercury (3°11’, Applying) This harmonious aspect give people good memory, poetic soul and the ability to understand others. It helps people to become good teachers, journalists and psychologists. These people are interested in their origin and roots and in environmental problems. They are often very intelligent. Mercury Conjunction Venus (3°23’, Separating) This conjunction gives people good manners and mental balance. They can express themselves well and they are convincing. Their views are also well-balanced. Their thinking is often so rational that they are not able to express their feelings too openly.

Venus in Libra People with Venus in Libra understand and value art and social life. They have a sense of harmony and they perceive life in terms of beauty and justice. This sensitivity comes from their mind, not from their emotions. The nature of their feelings is likely to influence how they want to use their artistic skills and charm. They are aware that beauty is important so they ask themselves whether there is something more to their current relationship or not. If they are looking for a partner who is enchanting, flawless and has all the social virtues, they will attract him with their charm. Over time, after they get to know each other, something much more than just attractiveness and sympathy can develop. At this stage, they will either start looking for somebody else or they will criticise the product content and forget about the packaging. Venus in the 6th House Venus in the sixth House points to social activities, love affairs or romantic relationships in the workplace. It can also mean an emotional bond to work. In any case it means a comfortable and pleasant working environment. These people often work as judges or referees, or in jobs that deal with women. The influence of Venus in the sixth house brings artistic talent that could decide about the profession of these people.

Moon Sextile Venus (0°11’, Separating) This harmonious aspect gives people balanced temperament, charming manners and usually also good looks. Social success is almost guaranteed. These people have creative abilities and they need to create a pleasant home environment. Node Square Venus (4°45’, Applying) The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are often pleasant, graceful, sexy and affectionate. They can appreciate beauty and they like art. They have a good taste. This harmonious connection forms the focal point of their life and it helps them achieve their goals. They have somewhat feminine radiating power that is very valuable and deserves to be acknowledged and developed. The negative side of this aspect is that it can be difficult for these people to find inner peace because their love life is in constant conflict with the direction of their life. They can experience feelings of unfulfillment and they may have great need for affection that is very hard to satisfy.

I mentioned before that my guides told me I have been resisting the real reason I was brought back to Earth at the age of 6 after I spent a year off of Earth (am a so called stasis walk-in). When I was younger, I was often told I should get into modeling. Interestingly so, Venus is the second most dominant planet in my natal chart and precedes the Sun and Mercury (tied) and follows Saturn. However, after one time my grandmother said I should model and such I said I want to do more with my life than have my career be based on my looks. I want to do something that requires more intellect and make more of an impact than just being pretty. I've had plenty of others ask for my opinions on things relating to work and personal things because I do tend to be rather objective in my views of things. I also at the same time do consider people's valid emotions when making decisions on things.

When I took the MBTI assessment in the past, I have gotten a variety of results when I was in high school (went between INTJ and INFJ) but ultimately test today as ENTP after learning more about cognitive functions and whatnot in my later years. Namely, this means my Feeling and Thinking "functions" are closer to balanced with regards to making decisions, while my Intuitive/abstract & future "functions" greatly outweigh my Sensing/concrete & present "functions" as far as processing information goes. As Jared Padalecki once said who I think might be ESFJ, he is quick to develop perception (how we interpret and understand sensory information) but he is slow to develop perspective (how we view the world "big picture"); for me, it's definitely vice versa and I have sensory overload issues at times ha ha. This to me says he is no ENFP or ENFJ but is instead ESFJ. If people haven't noticed by now, I also have great interest in psychology.

To be Continued...

[callonpeevesie]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Hi, thanks for the ask! It's hard to pick top 10 because my feelings about characters keep fluctuating and I'm also kind of out of touch with fandom these days, but here are 10 characters I've blorboed in the past or recently.

Pyala from tenida - I have posted about him before, he's my childhood fave from a series that's very dear to me. I grew attached to him when I first read the stories when I was about eight. I was quiet, constantly zoned out, chronically sick and couldn't Maths, and I really saw myself in him. But what sealed him as my favourite character is his sort of quiet courage,, he's scared of many things but he has this integrity and is brave enough to be honest with himself. I've had so many other favourite characters since, but that connection never really went away. As I grew up and reread the stories I discovered more layers to his character and unpacked just how much he had impacted me in my childhood. He's just really important to me.

Héctor from coco - I was absolutely obsessed with coco for a very long time, this blog even started as a coco blog. It's a beautiful movie and héctor was always my favourite character. He was understandably very popular and I love him for his adorable personality and angst potential, but another reason I'm attached to him is the pushover aspect of his personality. It's something I myself struggled with and it was super cathartic to see him stand up to ernesto. I used to wonder a lot how things would have gone if he had lived longer and got to grow more.

Mia from ace attorney - she's just *chef's kiss*. I got into aa a couple of years back and fell in love with her from the beginning. She's so beautiful and badass but also so much more. She impacts the story so much even though she was present for such a short time, it's fascinating to think about. And she feels more and more layered and flawed and interesting the more I think about her. I'm very normal about her

Grover from pjo - it's safe to say my pjo phase has completely faded, but I have a sort of nostalgic attachment to Grover. He's so soft but brave and adorable and grew so much over the series. I do feel his potential was underutilised in the books. But in a way I like that his backstory and personal journey is left so vague, it makes him more intriguing to me. Part of the reason I like him so much is because his bravery and potential are so overlooked in the fandom and I guess I'm defensive of him, lol.

Sokka from atla - tbh I only watched atla for the first time as an adult, during the pandemic, and sokka just grew on me during my first watch. He's just such a guy, the way he's shaped by the protective role he took on as a kid, by growing up during a war, how calculative and ruthless he can be in spite of his goofiness and how much he cares about Katara, I just,,,, ughhhh. I love chewing on him so much and I find it fascinating how well he was fleshed out even though he's not the most narratively important character

Matsuda from death note - another more recent favourite, got into death note a couple of years back. I enjoyed how silly and goofy he is and he grew on me, how he feels worthless compared to everyone else and wants to prove himself. He's also such a madlad for his yotsuba stunt (and telling mello he was L. wtf was that). His conflicted position and eventual reaction to light's betrayal make him an interesting one to figure out, but what stands out to me is how he seems to use humour to cope and tries desperately to liven things up. It's especially obvious to me that he puts up a facade in the epilogue of the manga

Anne shirley from Anne of green gables - this one is a childhood favourite. She's!! So good!! I became obsessed with her when I first read the book because I related so much to her imaginativeness and her way of admiring beauty, I felt like she was putting into words things I've always felt deep down. As an adult I've ceased to relate to her so much, but I still love the way she interacts with the people and environment around her and how she deals with her flaws and strives to be better. Also demiromantic icon fr

Shen from kung fu panda 2 - truly one of the villains ever. A++ design, actually compelling story, how his struggle with his past and identity reflects and contrasts with Po's,,, it's thematically so GOOD. I just love how he never truly gets over the past even though he claims to tend to the future and he's always terrified of the prophecy even though he acts confident that he's escaped fate. And how po succeeds where he feels,, I think shen can only be fully appreciated in relation to po and that makes me a little insane. I love my drama queen genocidal freak birb

Hobie from across the spiderverse - i think he's my favourite thing to come out of atsv, he's such a guy <33 everything from his design to how well he was executed in spite of so little screentime is top tier. There's a lot to say about his narrative significance, but what i love the most about him is that he embodies the idea that kindness is punk. He's not punk just for the aesthetic, although it seems like he is and that's probably at least partially on purpose; his beliefs are punk and he does not believe in the conformity and suffering that Miguel encourages. He watches out for gwen and miles not just because he doesn't agree with the spider society but because he cares about them. And his kindness doesn't take away from his punkness, compassion and caring IS resistance and I think that's beautiful

Obelix from Asterix - Asterix is one of my all time favourite media I've loved since childhood and it's hard to pick one character because I love all of the main cast so much, but I have to go with the autistic king. He's Wonderful, he's genuinely so funny, his thinking is so straightforward and he feels left out because no one bothers to explain things to him but he cares about Asterix and dogmatix so so much I just. I could cry. And the backstory in how obelix fell into the magic potion adds more to him and his bond with Asterix, like,,, yes

Once again these are 10 characters I thought of now, I might have a different answer later because my feelings about my favourite characters change a lot. But that's my answer for now and sorry for answering so late. Thanks for asking!

[rafasbiscuits]

aa tam! @tam-is-blogging yk how much I love these, thank u sm for the tag🥺

last song: flawless - the neighbourhood

currently watching: mm if it's anything then I'm watching youtube videos, like past year papers and stuff. I love exams (help. me.) if it's movies/shows I'm watching modern family but on break

currently reading: for my exams, now it's biology

currently thinking: about...my exams...(it's exam season guys its exam all the way😭) but that's such a boring topic!! so I'm also thinking about my beloved fanfictions that I have yet to continue <3

current obsession: I think my anime phase is coming back, so I have to say satosugu (jjk)

tagging: mmmm @fedalheadbands @ponderingrabbit-blog @swaggypsyduck @thefrootloopman @bwehdal @kingfisherprince @yoellglia @hubillusion (if you guys want to ofc, no pressure at all) and anyone that comes across this and wants to do it!!

[hanaaamaryam]

Not myself

In the last few months, I haven't been feeling like myself. It felt like a ghost of my old self wandering around for its home. Wanting to be a part of something. I don't write anymore, I don't feel poetic, I just feel bland. Like in a constant state of oblivion. On occasions, my mind can be extremely chaotic and complex that I can't seem to put my words right. This does not feel like the classic "oh I'm so lost, I can't find myself" this is the type where one turns the age of 24, and undergoes a transition to a phase of life where you just have to suck. it. up. Just put it all in. Yes suck it up and just man the fuck up. How can one be 18 and felt like they know everything and then be 24 and know nothing in life. It is indeed a difficult situation to be in.

I believe, as a person, I have concluded myself aa a sensitive bitch. My heart, they're wide open. I feel too much and think too much. How does one live in such an awful world, filled with cruelty, brutality, inhumanity.. and still be kind? I guess that boils back down to having Allah in your heart. Man-kind has slowly and gradually destroying this earth, this beautiful place God has given us. I have numb myself to a point that I am only floating through space and time. But who am I thinking? Sometimes I feel like I’m going insane. Every night I lay in bed thinking, beyond my capabilities of understanding as a human being, the things I cannot control in life. This is the most disorient state I've ever been in. I feel terrified. Nothing I do seems to be working. Nothing I do is making this right. I have no idea what to do. I just feel very lost in life. I feel like I'm losing grip with reality. I don't feel like I connected with anyone. I feel really alone and I don't know why and what the reasons are. I can't seem to shake off this feeling. I feel like everyone thinks I'm crazy. I looked fine, it's true, I do look like I got everything lined up in life. I understand that no one will understand you completely because you don't even understand people. I know some people struggle to give an appropriate response to expressing their true feelings.

Do I really thought that I have all the time in this world? I might not even wake up tomorrow and I talk as if I have a 100 years to live. Even with all of these happening, I still feel lost. It is kind of an unsettling feeling. The more I try to explain myself to a person, the more I sound stupid. I think this is how most of the adults feel? A mass of nothingness lingered inside. It is truly scary to live in a world feeling like you have no one. Like a hollow void feeling in the chest.

No one ever deserves to feel this way.

[anotherghoul666]

Anon songs!

For Ghost I give you Jigolo Har Megiddo

Other than that, it's Chokehold by Sleep Token, Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge and Here She Comes Again by Royksopp :D

Aa haaa!! I give off Jigolo vibes? I fucking love this XD I am the one lascivious! Fuck yeah! No but for real, I love this song. The lyrics are so over the top, it's that brand of pure camp Ghost does so well and it fills me with delight. It's one of the Ghost songs I made my very-much-no-a-metalhead partner listen to anyway just so we could laugh at the lyrics and she was cackling by the end of it so I count it as a win xD Plus this line: "Destroying all and make them want it again" That's very me as a dom(me) ;) hehehe

To get associated with Chokehold is an honor, this song still makes me tear up after a hundred listens. Extremely powerful lyrics that I even got in my bios on here and discord and stuff hahaha

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge I had a really fun time with, cause I was like, I feel like I know this but I can't recall the song, so I went to listen, and indeed I absolutely knew the song but like, from a deep deep memory. I think you just tredged back up some audio memory from my goth phase XD This is fucking rad, now I'm gonna go down memory lane and relisten to that album cause I remember loving that alternative goth rock sound with the surf rock riffs but tuned down to make them darker, man I missed this sound! I love the slow build up of the desperation in the lyrics, how one person weaves their wai into the other's mind to the point of making them near insane with love they wanna do awful things. This is my fucked up definition of romance right there, give me all of this, I vibe!

Here She Comes Again by Royksopp I'd never heard of so this was a pure discovery! While it's less my style, I do appreciate the darkness in the track and the unusual synths blips throughout kept my attention. Cool listen!

Thank you so much for leaving these in my inbox, I appreciate the music discovery (and re-discovery haha) so much!!! You're rad anon!

[turnsbouts]

NO ITS OK I LOVE HEARING UR THOUGHTS!! They are very similar to my own!!

I had considered Apollo and Athena being sun/moon breathing duo because of their names/themes… but getting more creative with it is always a plus. I do love the idea of Metis being the moon breather. I had absolutely planned Athena’s attacks to be heavily emotion based too… psycho-breathing? bahaha. Or maybe we can call the moon breathing offshoot “lunar breathing”. related to the moon, and usually used to refer to lunar phases… many phases aka emotions

Apollo could have Sunflower Breathing, to have both the fire and the plant theme. Offshoot of the original flower breathing of course, as is Flytrap Breathing. Apollo’s perception can act like a type of “Total Concentration”, really. Apollo probably could learn multiple breathing styles LMAO

I imagined Blackquill as a demon slayer with Hawk Breathing… him turning into a demon to protect Athena is VERY good… that, OR he was accused of Metis’ death, as there was no sign of a demon attack (Phantom is trickyyy), and lost his position as a slayer as the Corps couldn’t figure out how to get around that. He admitted guilt etc, the story plays out similarly. He’s let back into the Corps later on in the equivalent of the DD timeline so he can help Athena.

Yes!!! MVK was a Hashira-turned-demon like Kristoph, and amidst his corruption, turned Edgeworth as well. Not sure yet when Gregory dies in this timeline… maybe MVK and Gregory (both hashira or similarly highly ranked) had a duel, MVK was going to be punished for killing Gregory, and then encountered and was offered to be turned into a demon. Edgeworth would get turned later on after being offered (so it was ‘consensual’), while Franziska remains a human.

I don’t think MVK is going to be Muzan, maybe just an Upper Moon… but to be fair, I haven’t decided on who exactly Muzan would be replaced with yet. Phantom was another concept, but i’m not sure about that.

The Judge is the Master equivalent though, as leader of the Demon Slayers. heh

Ohohoho Apollo and Thena as a sun/moon matched set yessss

I LOVE both lunar and sunflower, especially how sunflower can work both as flower/fire and flower/sun.....

Ahhhh I love Blackquill both as a slayer and as a demon!! Hawk breathing would be so cool!!

I think Phantom could work as a demon without any major changes lol. His thing would be less physically impossible as a demon than as a human. But he could have some fun illusion magic to make it look like Athena killed Metis and force Blackquill to take the blame

Also I've been thinking if anyone would fit as a demon eater... my top picks would be Phoenix (already eats weird shit. like glass), Blackquill (for the ostricization themes), Athena (same reason but only Blackquill knows about it), Nahyuta (I just think it could fit the themes) but idkkkkk

Ohhh the DRAMA of Edgeworth being a demon and Franziska being a human and MVK in all of this!! Was Franziska a human training under a demon and waiting to be turned?? Or did she know MVK only as a human?? Does Franziska become a slayer???

Mmmm I don't thing AA has a Muzan equivalent of a Big Bad Source of Evil, unless you're willing to substitute Muzan with like. The entire penal system of Japan/Japanifornia.

I've been thinking what the Feys should be... maybe they can still be mediums, but I'm wondering about a more explicit support role, like the swordsmiths or ubuyashiki clan (minus the authority part)... or would the detectives work better as the swordsmiths??

Also the Paynes being a family of really weak demons <3 And Larry being a civilian with a rare blood considering how much he attracts trouble

[au-tumn-al]

It's my 8 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

I uaually wouldn't post smth like this, but I'm honestly so appreciative for Tumblr these past 8(??) years. I was a very lonely kid growing up, and didn't have any friends, & wouldn't until going off to college in 2020; I didn't ever make friends on Tumblr (i had amino apps friends 💀💀💀😭😭😭😭😭) but for a long time, it would give me things to do. I had an outlet for literally every single fandom that I got into, especially Ace Attorney. I'm so, so happy that the series has matured with me, and even if we never get AA7, the localization of DGS 1 & 2 was an amazing note to end on. They are probably the best-written games in the series and I loved finally being able to play them after so many years.

When I was still making original content for Ace Attorney, I was kind of sad to think that when I grew up, I would stop my real-time playthroughs of Ace Attorney. I played through the entire first game in the original time that it happened back in 2016 (which is when the first game took place, canonically), and I knew I probably wouldn't do that by the time AJ rolled around in 2026.

Now those years are in reach. 2026 is only 2 ½ years away, and yeah, I probably won't play AJ like I did the first game. But I'm really happy that I never really grew out of my "phases" that I went through on Tumblr. I still love Ace Attorney, and it has remained my very favorite video game franchise through nostalgia alone, and have gone back to the series over the years. Getting into the series because of the announcement of PLvsAA was such a magical time. I had no idea that AA would become such a core part of my teenage years. I got into the series when I was 11 or so, and so I have literally spent half of my life alive loving Ace Attorney than not. And tbh, I'm really happy with that.

I've come a really long way in these past 8 years, and I can better appreciate how the 7 year time skip in AJ did so much to Phoenix lol. I was a very lonely 14 y/o, stuck in an abusive home. I lived day by day, and my mom insisted that I be homeschooled K-12, despite having such an unstable household & her deteriating health so she didn't even get up out of bed most days so I rarely left the house, except to go grocery shopping with her.

But now? I graduated college an entire year early, earning summa cum laude this past May. I met some honestly amazing people, and finally started making friends for the first time since I was 9. I had some fabulous mentors during my undergrad, and not being their students anymore was the hardest part about graduating so early. I'm still actually at my college now, since I'm working a residence job over the summer, but once it's over, I'm finally moving out. I have no idea what's going to come next, but I'm tentatively looking forward to it all.

Tumblr, for its bad reputation, never actually negatively affected me in the same way other apps did (amino was fucking traumatizing 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭), and for me, was exactly the kind of platform that it promised to be. I have loved growing up with it, and coming back to this blog every so often feels like coming home.

I know some of the followers of this blog have really been with me from the beginning, and I really, truly appreciate you. I still recognize your @'s, and they make me happy when I see them in my notifs every so often :) unlike literally every other social media, I have not thought once about closing this account, so I'll be here a while longer.

Who else is going to reblog my yearly Amathatober 5th XC2 post? 🤭

But that is to say: thanks, Tumblr. This platform has been good to me, and I'm so glad I joined it.

[brandybradyrandyandyndy]

Mark Forster's role in the Ace Attorney franchise

Okay, first off:

I'm not a fan of Mark Forster's music, please don't take this post the wrong way

There might be some aa trilogy spoilers

Also, I admit this title is pretty bold for what I'm going to say on this topic, but I watch The Voice of Germany with my sister every week and one of the coaches is Mark Forster who I only know like five songs of in total, but his song "Au Revoir" (which is actually a terrible song btw. It's so catchy, I've had it stuck in my head since I woke up this morning and it ruined my day.) kind of reminded me of the whole "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death." thing, because the only thing I knew about this song was the refrain:

which would be roughly translated to:

"There is nothing that's holding me back, au revoir / Forget who I was / Forget my name / It will never be the way it was before / I'm off / Au revoir"

But as I looked further into the lyrics I found out there is a "rap part" which tells you about the places the lyrical I will go to when they're away and it contains a passage that adds a beautiful twist to my theory/headcanon (I'm not sure what to call this yet).

"I'm sitting on the Mayan throne in the jungle / [...] / The phoenix is taking off now"

You see where I'm going with this? I know, it's not Phoenix who's leaving and I know the lyrics refer to the Maya Civilization from Mesoamerica, but I thought it was a funny coincidence, that not only does the word "Phoenix" appear in the lyrics of this song, but so does "Maya".

So when I first saw this part of "Au Revoir", I started imagining how Miles Edgeworth would listen to this song and like dramatically sing along to it and start crying or something, but this only posed another question:

How could this scenario happen? How and why would he even come in contact with this song?

My first guess was, Miles probably went to Germany after he left his note, because he grew up there (I think), when he had been adopted by Manfred von Karma as a child, and he heard the song somewhere in the radio because in Germany they blast Mark Forster's music in almost every public space, so there is no escape from it ever. I tried to find out, during which timespan Miles left America, just to make sure if there was a chance that he actually could have heard it on the radio.

In the Ace Attorney wiki this timespan isn't clearly mentioned, but since the last case (Rise from the Ashes) from the first game is set in February 2017 and Edgeworth returns to America in March 2018 I'm guessing, this is exactly the time window in which he's in Germany* (minus some days/weeks of course, because I don't think he'd just leave on the exact same day he had his last trial in America). *to make this easier for me I'm just assuming he spends the entirety of his travels in Germany

But this brings me to my problem, the German Charts of 2017/2018.

As you can see, the only songs by Mark Forster that were in the charts while Miles would be in Germany are the ones above. This means that it is highly unlikely that he knew of "Au Revoir" from the radio, because why would they play this old song if they could also play Mark Forster's more recent songs that are popular right now?

But when exactly was "Au Revoir" popular enough to be in the German Charts?

During my research I looked up these years, too, and it came down to 2014 (the year "Au Revoir" was released) and even a year later in 2015. So there is no way he could have known of this song if his most recent stay in Germany was in 2017, right? (I mean, unless the German people he met then, had literally no taste and forced him to listen to it.)

But I have a pretty simple and logical explanation on how he could have still known of this song, even though he probably wouldn't have heard it in Germany in 2017.

I tried really hard, but I couldn't for my life find real data on Mark Forster's demographic, so just believe me if I tell you that his demographic is mostly preteen and teenage girls. Also, it's worth mentioning that Mark Forster's music is pretty much only known in German speaking countries like Germany, Switzerland and Austria. Now, let's take a closer look at the years, in which Au Revoir was most popular: 2014 and 2015

Who could Miles Edgeworth possibly know, who in 2014/2015 is 1. German, 2. a teenager and 3. a girl? The answer is quite obvious:

His younger sister Franziska von Karma.

Considering that she was either 14 or 15 when "Au Revoir" was released, she fits Mark Forster's demographic perfectly and although I'm not 100% sure if she was in Germany then, I still believe, she must have had at least some connection to Germany in some way, maybe a German friend who she still was in contact with or maybe she had access to German tv, maybe German YouTube channels or social media. And don't get me wrong, I love Franziska von Karma and I wouldn't wish anything bad on her, but at the same time I strongly believe that she'd be the kind of girl who'd have gone through a Mark Forster phase as a teen.

Now remember that I, myself, have a sister. I know what siblings do to annoy each other and I just know from the bottom of my heart that if Franziska really was a fan of Mark Forster's music, she would blast it on any opportunity she'd get. Or she would at least talk about him and his songs with her brother. Believe me. If Franziska really listened to Mark Forster, Miles would have known of him, too. There is literally no other way. (For reference, I know every 1D member's name, birthday and relationship status, although I literally do not care about any of them at all, only because my sister is obsessed with them and talks about them 24/7. Meanwhile the only MCR member I know, is Gerard Way, even though I listen to their music on the daily.)

So here is my conclusion.

Miles Edgeworth definitely listened to "Au Revoir" by Mark Forster on the plane from Japanifornia to Germany and he also definitely cried, after he made sure nobody could see him (especially during the part "Der Phönix macht jetz 'n Abflug"/"The phoenix is taking off now"). Also, he probably listened to the song multiple times during his stay in Germany and you literally can't prove me wrong on this. I mean you could try, but I invested way too much of my time in this to actually care about another person's opinion on my shitty headcanon.

Also, the moment Franziska met Phoenix and Maya, her memories vaulted her right back to her Mark Forster phase and her hatred against Phoenix wasn't solely based on the fact that he was accountable for the conviction of her father Manfred von Karma, her hatred was also ignited by the fact that she probably had "Au Revoir" stuck in her head because of these two for the rest of the day and I just know that this must have completely ruined it for her.

Also, unrelated to anything I've said prior:

Klavier Gavin would definitely collaborate with Mark Forster on at least one song and however severe Franziska's Mark Forster phase might have been, I am convinced Klavier would have outdone her by far. I haven't played AJAA yet, but as much as I've gathered from the fandom, he's like a weeaboo but with Germany, I think? I'm absolutely sure, he wouldn't ever miss a chance like this.

Finally, here is the song this whole post is about:

[curseofaphrodite]

guess which bitch is back

✨me✨

lmao sorry for not being active lately. moving on w shitty life story i fell down the stairs while coming from tuition yesterday. my back hands and legs hurt like a bitch. i think i traumatized the guy who was behind me. bc he was like "bitch tf you did??" he was literally shook deadass was in trance and he stared at me like i'm some alien (probably i am-) me 🤝 traumatizing people since 1989 bc yes i told my guy friend about it and he was like "shit why wasn't i there pls can you fall tomorrow too? xoxo" BITCH OK I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS BUT CLEARLY NOT he was joking i hope for the sake of our friendship

SYDNEY SWEENY IS SO BEAUTIFUL 😍

today we had "blessing ceremony" and nyasa and my other friend ditched left me alone to deal w tina #sad but i j said her hi and then ignored her so hehehe girlboss

anyways i don't need alcohol to be chaotic moi makes bad decision without drinking 🥱💅‼️

i brought a teddy bear and it's pronouns are he/they. he's name twins w nyasa s teddy both of them are called andy 💗👼✨ ofc they're named after the loml andrew garfield just remembered i never told you my pronouns lmao i use she/her and i'm a raging bisexual you can tell i'm a ✨material gworl✨💅💋

ANYWHORE MY BF IS SO HOT LIKE WHAAAAAT???? we were randomly hanging out in his room my family is friends w his family since like forever so they don't care if we're alone in a room or not #coolindianparents itna trust i could never- moving on out of no where he's like "garmi ho rahi naa?" (translation: it's getting hot in here?😼" and he proceeds to remove his t shirt and omg so seggsy?? mf was shirtless (he does gym mf has abs but not very muscle-y? my mans a skinny legend lmao do you get what i'm saying probably not) and j wearing *drum rolls* *dramatic pause* 🥁🥁🥁 ✨GREY SWEATPANTS✨ istg he'll be the death of me

i think i'm in my ✨bridgerton✨ brothers phase antony and benedict omg so hot

i love you tori mwah mwah

goodbye lover i swear i don't do drugs

🔮(pretty emoji)

girl you need to be cellotaped to a human sized pillow. i do not trust you with walking anymore. omg yes stop traumatizing the poor dude 😭😭 hehe your friend better be joking or im taking out my knives. jjk.

AAA SHE IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFULLL. omg noo not tinaaa. GOOD FOR YOU THO SCREW HER SHE SUCKS.

believe me bestie i know. still i dont think alcohol would help w your decision making either djsk 😩😩 [ jk we're getting drunk together 4 years from now when im out of uni w hopefully a job ]

HAHA YOURE NOT JUST A RAGING BISEXUAL YOURE A CHAOTIC BISEXUAL. dude i love the teddys gib one to me 🔪🔪

OMGG GOOD FOR YOU ISTG HE DID THAT ON PURPOSE HE WANTED TO GET A COMPLIMENT OUT OF YOU THAT SMOOTH FUCKER.

i still need to watch that show and i oop. i should probably start likr ern.

AA THATS SO BEAUTIFUL

i love you more

omg i dont have any color pallette coordination fml.

GOODBYE LOVE YOU SURE YOU DONT DO EM??? WHO KNOWS ANYMORE

[rubiaryuplays]

There's Definitely Some Kind of Devil Worship Going On Here

(Case 4, part 7)

So I've recently acquired the complete scripts for both English and Japanese versions of this game up to this case and I have noticed I missed a lot, which is to be expected, but I will get into those missing details at a later date. In the meantime, please bear with me and my petty attempts at humor.

--

There's a bit I missed capturing in the beginning, where Soseki greets them and talks about the saying, 'The early bird gets the worm' and ensues an amusing conversation about how Soseki didn't sleep a wink to avoid eating worms. In the original, he speaks of a similar Japanese proverb that goes, "Early rise brings a little fortune", worth of 3 mon. Mon was the cheapest coinage in Japan of the time, though by the Meiji era, much of those coinages were being phased out for the modern yen. The saying often translated to the same thing, though the ensuing conversation is different due to the mention of money. Soseki hoped that by not sleeping a wink, he could save it up to a whole yen from that 3 mon.

Mind you, a whole yen back then would likely be worth hundreds of yen these days, but certainly not enough to buy any of his books.

He mentions wishing having nine lives, like that of a cat. I also appreciate all the occasional nods this case gives to Natsume-san's "I Am a Cat", even if much of the moments were the English insulting him about his "cat-like" features.

In the JP, he speaks in prose about the abrupt end of one's life to end in an exclamation, "嗚呼不安ッ!" (aa, fu'an), or "Aah, so trepidating!" Or, literally "uneasy". Take your pick.

Ha! I catch even the subtler alliterative prose too, no matter the format! Though, it seems they could only afford an approximate alliteration for this one. In the JP, he likewise summarizes Naruhodo's bad luck as "the worst since the founding of our nation." Ouch.

Ahahaha! Yes, he addresses her with her full title as in the original, but the localizers took a step further by giving her the "Non-Locum" and "Esquiress". Perhaps I should earn myself a title of nobility, as a "Royal" myself! "Lady Rubia the Top Pomeranian of Ace Attorney Encyclopedic Esteem!"

...No, scratch that. Just Rubia is fine.

Anyway, onto the trial and Gregson's testimony...

The names of the places on this map are all true to what they were originally, except the shop that Soseki went to. Thanks to my ineptitude, I failed to catch the actual screen where "Yore Books" was located on the map. It was originally known as "Boro Books", for a pun with boroboro, meaning "tattered". Fitting, I'd say.

On God, I'd forgotten just how funny this case was. That wine must be fiercely bitter indeed because this man is spitting savage! (This is from after Ryu finds out where said bookshop was.)

After some more savagery from van Zieks addressed to the jury and the entry of our new witnesses...

Noting this here: I'd like to make a minor correction from a previous post about Soseki's receipt. The book titled "The Lion's Mane" is this fourth book shown here, but for copyright reasons, its name was changed to "The Lion's Pride" here. The other three books have been retained from the source, except for "A Meal for Gaboriau". That is, Emile Gaboriau. (Silly me!) In the JP, it was originally "The Sea and Gaboriau", which I'm trying to remember what famous novel that may be referencing, and all I'm thinking of is Ernest Hemingway's famous "The Old Man and the Sea". Maybe it's a parody?

--

I've finished the case, but the rest of the pics are from the latter half of the trial. I've skipped much of this trial segment because the rest of the snapshots from here were just me capturing van Zieks' prayers and other musings, lol. I swear I'm just doing it for research; not obsessed with him or anythi...

Oh, who am I kidding. Everyone simps for van Zieks.

[askaquaries]

Hiya!! I see this new blog appeared!!! So I'm here to ask: what was the conversation you both had that made you guys realize you like each other?

CA: it wwas more a series a convversations really

CA: hey ara uh

CA: has it evver occurred to you that these tomes a military deaths are maybe a bit too detailed

CA: sorta to the extent that they might kill a meowwbeast if dropped on one

CA: it took a lotta time yknoww

AA: ive just had the best thought

AA: you should pen a comprehensive military document about the events of our sgrub session before things got complicated

AA: it is important lore and military history that should not be ignored dont you think

CA: neither a us had come from the best experiences wwith regards to relationships

CA: lotta trust buildin

CA: a course i still got affection for fef in my collapsin and expandin bladder based aquatic vvascular system or wwhatever and a course i still feel like a massivve bulgelord for killin her wway back wwhen but twwo wwrongs dont make a right and twwo rights dont make a left and basically wwhat im sayin is

CA: her method a breakin up wwith me left me feelin kinda used

AA: to be fair you were kind of genocidal at the time

CA: im awware a that im just SAYIN is all

CA: lotta fuckups, thats for sure

CA: but enough about me i feel like evvery time we havve one a these vvaguely unspeakably conciliatorily salacious jams wwe end up talkin about me and frankly im sick a it

CA: not necessarily talkin about myself but about not knowwin shit in return

AA: well now hang on i wouldnt call this conciliatory

CA: im not sayin it is

CA: shit to be completely honest i wwouldnt wwant another moirail for a long time anywway i dont think

CA: and here wwe are back on me spillin my guts again wwhich frankly has left me feelin stupid as all hell

CA: do you like makin me feel stupid ara

CA: do you like wwormin your wwriggly little wway outta bein honest about your feelins is this some kinda kink a yours

AA: i dont know what youre talking about?

AA: i spent enough time without my feelings! why would i choose not to be honest about them when ive finally got them back? :)

CA: her baggage and mine kept us dancin around our redder feelins for a long time and i cant really talk for ara but realizin i wwas in the red throes wwas a matter a hurt unfortunately

CA: not on my end but on hers

AA: do you really want to know eridan?? do you really want to know what it felt like to be young and in pity and confused but happy anyway

AA: to trade paps and kisses on the rare occasions he would come to visit and wed play games and go on excavations and to be thoroughly convinced for the first time in your heart of hearts that there is nothing

AA: nothing that is wrong with you or with anything because you might be dead in ten sweeps but at least you have people like sollux or tavros or terezi or karkat

AA: and maybe the voices of the dead tell you things that terrify you in your sleep and maybe he is tortured by your voice that he cant pick out among the others but its okay its all okay its all 0kay!!!!

AA: do you want to know what it felt like to die

AA: looking at him

AA: do you want to know what it felt like to lose everything and then to desecrate your own memory because you couldnt feel anything

AA: so that by the time you came back you lost yourself in the breaking of the universe because that was easier to understand than what you had lost

AA: i didnt want to be that girl anymore

AA: and i thought that if i never talked about it that it would go away

AA: i thought that if i forgave everyone it would go away and i could be the me id been before but better

AA: but you couldnt let me have that could you

CA: i wwanted to help her but evven more than that i wwanted her to be happy

CA: and i wwanted to givve it to her

CA: happiness i mean

CA: wwhos to say wwhether redder feelins are more selfish than pale ones

CA: ara i nevver wwanted to hurt you

CA: okay wwell maybe i did once upon a time but who doesnt go through a mass murdery kinda phase at least once after pupation

CA: wwhat i wwant to say is im sorry but wwhat im gonna say is that it aint healthy for you to be pentin all this up and actin like it nevver happened

CA: no one likes to hear the truth about themselvves

CA: not evven ara

CA: i dont wwanna pale you ivve said it before and i said it again

CA: but i dont gotta to tell you that wwevve all got our shit to deal wwith and sure maybe i see you a little different noww that youvve trauma vvomited all ovver my hivveblock floor but to be honest you kinda scared me before

CA: bein all fine with dyin and evverything

CA: so its fine noww

CA: isnt it

CA: call it wwhat you wwill

CA: schadenfraude or sadism or maybe if youre actually wwhat they call culturally sensitivve

CA: you could call it pity

CA: you could say pity is wwhats happenin here

[chrliekclly]

do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !

YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)

okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.

to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).

i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.

as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you’re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap

just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.

charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress. 

dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.

when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???

at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:

i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.

i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.

iv gone too far goodbye