#I think I just hated her the first time I read csm but watching the anime I just sorta pity her

[tea-cat-arts]

*insert “this is not ship art, please don’t cancel me” disclaimer here*

[scullysexual]

So I decided to do something different. I wasn’t confident in my analysises so I just decided to do a basic rewatch. After having all these things to look out for actually made me pay proper attention for the first time so thanks to @enigmaticxbee​ for giving me this idea with their rewatches. And no, I don’t pay attention to Mulder. 

😊 = Yes.

😞  = No.

😡 = It happens/it appears and I’m not happy about it.

MYTHOLOGY EPISODE.

Case: Four members of the same graduating class have all died in unexplained, mysterious deaths.

Themes: Abduction, time loss, stolen evidence, corrupt government figures, Scully misses it.

Favourite Quote: Logically, I would have to say no.

Would I recommend It: Yes. It’s the first episode. There’s a proper introduction to Mulder and Scully. You wouldn’t be lost if you didn’t watch this episode but there would definitely be some minor confusion (take it from me, I know personally)

My Initial Thoughts: I struggle to get through this episode. I love all the Mulder/Scully moments but the actual case/storyline doesn’t interest me much and it’s not an episode I frequently rewatch.

State: Oregon.

Special Minor Character of the Episode: Detective Miles.

Special Prop of the Episode: Einstein’s Twin Paradox: A New Interpretation. Dana Scully. Senior Thesis.

Mulder’s Theory: I think these kids have been abducted.

Scully’s Scientific Explanation: I’ll buy that girl’s suffering from some psychosis.

Inappropriate Mulder Humour: It’s probably a safe bet Ray Soames never made the Varsity Basketball Team.

Inappropriate 90′s Terminology: Vegetable/ Not my aisle of the produce section.

Scully’s Favourite Sentence(s): I can’t substantiate it, no.

Something Happens to Scully: 😡 (she gets hit in the face with the detective’s gun)

Mulder Drives:  😊

Scully Drives:  😞

Brief Case Appearance:  😊

Sharing Glasses: 😊

Scully Autopsy:  😊

Scully Smiles: 😊 (and a laugh)

Scully Writes a Report: 😊

Scully Ditch:   😞

Scully Pyjamas:  😊 (Not the silk ones...yet)

Stupid Tiny Gun Watch:    😡

Mulder’s Hand on Scully’s Back:  😊

Mulder and Scully Talk On The Phone:  😊

Scully Costume Change Counter: Five.

Below the cut are just my thoughts throughout watching the episode then followed by what my final thoughts are because I watched this episode twice. You don’t have to read them if you don’t want to.

Her pants don’t match.

I love Scully’s Pilot hair.

It’s a good way to avoid boring background exposition- just have your character be in an interview during the first episode.

Scully/Gilly being creeped out because csm doesn’t react is really good. Even all the other looks she gives him throughout is good-ass acting cause I doubt Scully would have been told there’s an old dude in the corner smoking a ciggy.

I don’t like the plane bit. The episode would still work without it.

The red X that never appears again. It is unnecessary tbf.

I like how they blocked the road with how they parked the cars. Nobody can get past now, they have to wait for you to move your car.

Is this really the place to read your report, Scully? Right by the loud machine?

Did nobody check the straps before they went ahead and decided to do this?

I don’t want to say it’s an alien but I don’t think it’s a monkey either…

Mulder has a lot of jokes in this episode: Longer vacation, basketball team, Steven Spielberg…

Why does Peggy freak out?

They have access to the crime scene, right? Why are they there in the dark?

I don’t think Mulder is a light, Sculls.

They look like children who have just been caught outside in a forest after curfew.

I get it but why don’t they know what dirt is…

I hate the ‘lost time’ affect.

You know, as far as “(potentially) unnecessary stripping scenes go, this is one of the better ones. You could argue that plot is the main drive here (though you could also argue male gaze)

So they wanted Scully to be on their side yet they don’t tell her anything? It seems very counterproductive because we all know Scully was never going to be on their side, she’s not really on Mulder’s side either tbf.

“That was some woman” for some reason doesn’t read or sound right.

Yes, Mulder is really shitting himself at this fire. It must just be his anger, it’s clouding his fear.

This kid can’t act, I’m sorry. It’s kinda painful. Choices are being made with this line delivery right now.

I don’t know if blood actually works like that but that streamed out of her nose.

“You stay away from that boy” Considering it turns out to be Billy at the end of this, that’s a pretty suspicious thing to say.

There’s a lot of references being made in this episode.

Standing in the mud and the rain and the mud. Can you imagine how many takes they must have done of that monologue, how long they stood in the rain just for it to be cut out. That had to be rough on Gilly to know that it was all for nothing.

So I’m guessing they went back to a…motel? before going to the hospital.

Don’t laugh, that’s offensive.

It’s a shame we never see Scully get this excited over aliens again. It’s adorable.

And Scully gets hurt again.

So like…does it ever explain how Billy is in a waking-coma through the day then up and standing at night? I guess you could say it’s the aliens but like…how does that actually work? Is it explained and I’ve just never paid attention?

Yo what is this girl wearing for pyjamas? Yikes!

The whole closing his eyes/looking like he’s just came acting decision was a CHOICE. A fucking terrible choice.

I like the mirror thing. How she’s standing on the wrong side.

This episode goes on forever.

She’s in bed early like 11:20. If you can’t sleep you just get up and move. Do something else.

Remember Ethan? Least the dude got paid.

I’m glad they didn’t do this csm scene every episode. That would have got boring.

Final Thoughts: The more I watch this episode the more I actually like it (I’ve watched it twice now to do this note thing) It’s interesting though to see what made it into the future mythology episodes: the implant device, group abductions, destroying evidence…It’s also clear to see what they decided didn’t work: the red X being one of them.

[scullydubois]

thoughts on The Truth (9x19/20)

Written by Chris Carter     Directed by Kim Manners

WOOHOO LETS GO

Gasp...Mulder

Where they at

Up to his old clowny ways again

Do you think Scully emailed him and was like, yeah, so I put the baby up for adoption

Krycek? I thought you were dead boy

Nice one

Dun dun dun

“About my son...and his mother” looks like that email went to spam

He’s a guilty man….he failed in every respect

Ladies...ladies…

Who dafuq are Dana and Walter, who’s he talking to

This is some A+ brainwashing

Krycek wyd

Is Kersh actually being helpful

I’m having some thoughts…

UM

Is that allowed?

That went on for like...a long time

It IS a party, Mulder’s right

They got Knowle’s body? WTF

Alright so...I’m not actually mentally capable for handling this

Gillian is doing some A+ acting

This whole ‘our son’ thing...detrimental to my health

Let it be known that I’m having a straight up bad time

Her laugh after he said he was out looking for the truth...please kill me

“I can’t tell you” you’re really gonna do this...now..GTFO

“That doesn’t make sense” correct

They needed to give Skinner a reasonable part in the ep so he’s gonna be Mulder’s lawyer...I have to laugh

Mulder’s gonna lose…

They’re really throwing flashbacks in here...I don’t know if I like that or not

Hey Spender

Lol...so it’s not that Mulder isn’t guilty, it’s that a government conspiracy justifies his actions

The sheer amount of summarizing here makes me uncomfortable...I know it was probably good for those who watched the show over a span of 9 years, but I watched all of this in the past 6 months...I know

GIBSON COME THROUGH

Scully’s snapping on Mulder...thank you god

“I’d rather die, Scully” you’re literally dumb, Mulder

TBH it seems like Mulder as a character grew out of his whole “the truth before everything” mindset seasons ago, why are we reverting him back to it

This is actually infuriating

“It’s you and me, that’s what I’m fighting for, Mulder. You and me.” Deadass!

His face...he knows he done fucked up

Thanks, I hate it (it being that scene)

Mr. X???

How did this Native American kid get Doggett’s address

I mean...good but

Marita however you spell her last name?? Where the fuck did she go after season 7

I feel like she’s one of the most irrelevant recurring characters

Mulder! Stop being dumb!

This isn’t even clowny anymore...this is just straight up dumbass

Gibson is spilling the tea! He literally pointed to this guy and called him out for being a super soldier...zero fucks! He’s never let me down!

Mulder is fired up!

If a boy who could read minds couldn’t help, how are Doggett and Reyes?

Alright Reyes is going off...I love her

GOD...all of this would be solved if William hadn’t been put up for adoption...they literally COULD have a demonstration...he is their physical proof of the truth they’ve been searching for!! In more ways than one!!!!

So far in this episode...Reyes>>>Mulder

Lucky break that Doggett got the corpse sent to Quantico

Literally zero way of physically identifying that as Knowle!

Skinner’s like…’so this case is irrelevant because the victim isn’t dead, so jot that down’

Sorry but...I can’t take Scully seriously here...I wish I could...but he went “You’re in contempt” and she did that kid argument thing of going “No, YOU”RE in contempt!”

This is the saddest excuse of a trial I have ever seen

Verdict time!!

Guilty of first degree murder...imagine watching the pilot episode and finding out that Mulder gets convicted of murder in the final episode..WTF

This is such an L...for everyone involved (both fictionally and in reality)

Mulder’s really making a speech after being convicted for murder...PLEASE

His crime is in daring to believe!

Did y’all know that the truth is out there

This is so dramatic LMAO

Scully’s about to pick up the phone and they’re gonna be like ‘death penalty!’

OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT WAS A JOKE WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL

This is so fucking terrible but I’m actually laughing hysterically because I did not expect that, I was literally joking

They waited until there was a verdict to break him out, when they actually could have just done it the whole time

Like...if y’all were just gonna break him out the whole time, why did I have to watch the stupid summing up of the show via the trial

Alright...maybe Kersh has some rights

Canada sounds like a good idea

Or not, do whatever the fuck you want I guess, you’re already on the run for murder

BITCH why am I seeing an empty X-Files office...not allowed in any circumstances

Super soldier guy, fuck off

The Lone Gunmen deserved better

You already know I love a desert episode

Sometimes i wish Mulder would just chill

Doggett and Reyes are really out here in a helicopter

THIS IS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST THING EVER I-

I’m sorry but I cannot take this seriously...I cannot cannot

Mulder just spill it

“You’re afraid to speak the truth.” You know what? CSM is right and he should say it

Always about magnetite

Welp, there’s Knowle 

She wants to hear it Mulder!!

THE TRUTH IS THAT ALIENS ARE GOING TO INVADE IN 2012????? LMAOOOOOOO

No wonder I actually didn’t have this part spoiled for me ahead of time

This did not age well, not one bit

We got multiple helicopters out here now

And magnetite takes care of another one

Run run run

How exactly did the helicopters lose them

BYE

What kind of dramatic ass shot...that’s the worse thing I’ve ever seen

Hold on...I’m shifting into tenderness mode

The parallel with the pilot...please excuse me while I shed some tears

I have zero fucking clue what they’re talking about though

“Chasing after monsters with a butterfly net”...I have to cry

Okay but what the hell was Mulder gonna do?? Not tell her that aliens are invading for the next decade??

This shit’s kinda breathtaking though

Truly unfortunate that she would do it all over again though...I wouldn't

“Then we believe the same thing” WE WON LADIES

You really had to just grab onto that fucking cross huh...okay

Oh yeah????

Alright I can die now

Jk there’s still another movie and 16 more episodes

Consensus: Kinda a hot mess. Definitely didn’t need to be as long as it was. Had some interesting parts and some extremely laughable parts. I’m glad there’s more now.

3.5 out of 5 stars

[admiralty-xfd]

the whole truth

An FBI Christmas gala with Mulder, Scully, and Diana in attendance? Yes please! Also, CSM gives Diana her assignment in "Two Fathers."

This is chapter 11. To go back to the beginning, click here.

Chapter 11: The Dance

FBI CHRISTMAS GALA

REGENCY HOTEL BALLROOM

DECEMBER 1998

It had been a few weeks since she’d spent the night at Fox’s place and Diana hadn’t really spoken to him much. But she also knew that he and Agent Scully weren’t working together anymore and it was likely he hadn’t seen much of her, either.

He’d told Diana he had some stuff to figure out. He didn’t have to say it; they both knew what that “stuff” was. And although her suspicions had been confirmed that night, that Fox certainly had no romantic obligations to Agent Scully, there was definitely something unresolved between them; something about their relationship he wasn’t willing to share with an outsider.

Diana maintained a flame of hope in her heart that he still had feelings for her. And while the work would always be her primary focus, getting him back was something she now wished for despite everything else.

She looked in the mirror, leaning forward to adjust herself. Her dress was black, floor length, and extremely low cut, allowing for an ample display of cleavage. Not something she’d typically wear to a work function, but on the off chance Fox might be in attendance, she wanted to give him a reminder of what he’d been missing.

Diana intended to make herself seen, and she certainly had no intention of giving up.

Taking one final look in the mirror, she could see the scar from the bullet wound in her shoulder. It had almost completely healed, but there was still a faint trace; a reminder of what was expected of her, of what she owed to the Company.

Of what she owed to Spender.

She was well aware there was no turning back for her. I’m on your side, she’d said to Fox months ago. Was that true? She’d certainly picked a side because she had no choice, not anymore. She could only hope she could make Fox see someday that what she’d been doing was right, and if she could accomplish that, maybe she could somehow bring him into her circle. She would have to navigate this situation extremely delicately.

When she arrived at the gala there were hundreds of eyes on her, which was what she’d expected. She hadn’t worn this dress to blend in. After only a couple of minutes she saw Fox, standing near the bar with Agent Scully. He looked handsome, as always, and she looked attractive but subdued, as always.

Agent Scully’s dress was vintage, deep red, deeper than her hair, perfectly flattering but somewhat modest, especially compared to Diana’s own. Diana wondered if Agent Scully was the type of woman who would ever wear a dress like the one Diana was wearing to a function.

Anyway, if there were a contest on who would be getting more attention this evening, Diana was confident she’d win.

She downed the last of her champagne, took a deep breath, and approached them. When Agent Scully caught sight of her a look of barely restrained rage crossed her features and Diana couldn’t help but feel a small thrill, thinking of their last encounter. Fox must have noticed Agent Scully’s expression because he turned around, and when his eyes landed on Diana, his face turned as red as Agent Scully’s dress.

“Oh, um. Diana.” He stammered for a moment, and it reminded her of the way he’d behaved when he’d first introduced the two women. “Um… you look great.”

“Thanks. Nice party, huh?” she said. She didn’t give a shit about the party. It was an opportunity for him to see her dressed like this, nothing more, nothing less. Not only that, she was beginning to find it amusing the way Agent Scully reacted every time they crossed paths.

The other woman’s eyes drifted down Diana’s dress and back up, and Diana saw her jaw set. Fox looked like a deer in headlights and he turned to Agent Scully, then back to Diana, then back again. “Er…”

“Excuse me,” Agent Scully said, and made herself scarce.

Diana smiled at Fox, delighted that had been so simple. But then she saw Fox watch his ex-partner go, and he looked pained and extremely uncomfortable.

Maybe this wasn’t so simple. Maybe it never would be.

“Fox?” Diana asked. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah,” he said, distractedly.

She smiled. “I’m surprised to see you here. You always hated these things.”

“I did. I do,” he agreed quickly. “I wasn’t planning to come. But Scully wanted to, so.” He stopped. That was all the explanation she was going to get.

Scully wanted to, so.

This phrase took her aback. She’d always had to twist his arm to accompany her to these functions. And he’d just admitted he still hated them. But… Agent Scully, his work partner - in fact, not even his work partner anymore - wanted to… so...?

“You two seem awfully close,” she pointed out, fishing. He was still watching Agent Scully walk away, and Diana felt a chill go up her spine, along with a clenching in her gut that meant regardless of how she was dressed, regardless of the one-up she’d gotten over the other woman a few weeks ago, she was truly worried.

Her thoughts drifted back to when she’d asked him if he was in love with Agent Scully. He’d hesitated too long. It was only her own instinct but she knew what that pause meant. And if she were being entirely honest with herself, she hadn’t needed to ask him at all. It seemed as if everyone knew they were in love with each other except the two of them.

The power she’d felt while approaching them was rapidly dissipating. It was quickly evolving into real fear: a fear of losing something she didn’t even have. She’d never expected to see him again, and he had every right to fall in love with someone else. Nowhere in her mind did she believe her mere existence could have prevented that from happening after so much time apart.

It didn’t matter how many years they’d spent together, or how many times they’d slept together if his heart truly belonged to someone else.

She reached to touch his arm and leaned in to speak into his ear. It was an intimate gesture, one she’d used quite frequently back when they were married. She probably had no right, not anymore, but while he was right here, standing next to her, she enjoyed the familiarity.

“Would you like to dance?” she asked. She pulled back and tried to read his face. There was hesitation in his eyes that she hadn’t expected, and when he opened his mouth to speak, for a moment she was afraid he would decline. But he closed his mouth instead, as if changing his mind in the moment, and gestured for her to lead the way to the dance floor.

Her arms went around his neck, his hands resting at her waist, and as she leaned into him she felt him tense, uncomfortable. She had the distinct impression he was battling himself and that her comfort of being near him and holding him was not shared.

She’d been unsure about where they stood, exactly, when she’d left his apartment that morning. But there had been a shift since then, and she could feel it. She didn't have to, really; his non-responsiveness over the past few weeks spoke volumes that she simply didn't want to hear.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he said suddenly. “Did you send that furniture company to my apartment? The one you… mentioned, you know...?”

He didn’t say the last time we saw each other, i.e., that time you spent the night. Did he already regret it?

“No…? I don’t know what you mean,” she said. She truly didn’t.

“Never mind,” he shook his head, whatever information he was trying to get out of her obviously not forthcoming.

They moved to the music and he kept scanning the room. At a certain point she noticed sweat beading across his brow. Her mind raced as they danced, overwhelmed with his familiar scent, and the fear of losing him had never felt so real.

In spite of everything: his obvious feelings for Agent Scully, all the years’ worth of secrets and lies, and her own uncertainty about how he felt about her; in this moment she felt desperately hopeful. Maybe she could make him understand. Maybe she could win him back.

Maybe she could get him on her side.

***

Shortly after the Great Diana Incident, Mulder had fitfully re-stacked all the boxes behind his bedroom door to keep him from being reminded of it every time he used the bathroom. The bed had remained a problem, but much like the first time she left his apartment, he preferred to avoid the situation entirely.

The waterbed had soon afterwards mysteriously appeared, as if from nowhere, and the boxes had been cleared away. Mulder was used to the strange and unexplained, but solving that enigma seemed impossible.

He didn’t care for the waterbed, it wasn’t his style. But it had appeared at the moment he needed it to; the moment he knew that any bed Diana had slept in needed to be promptly removed from his home. It was as if the universe was course-correcting his shameful indiscretion.

He’d been so sure she’d done it, that she’d called and ordered him new furniture without even telling him. It was such a Diana thing to do. He assumed she hadn’t taken ‘no’ for an answer and had begun the process of weaving herself back into his life.

But looking into her face now as they spun around the dance floor, seeing the absolute confusion there, he believed her. She had no idea how his new bedroom had materialized. So he was back at square one on that particular X-File.

Diana held him close as they danced, which made him uncomfortable but allowed him to look over her shoulder without her noticing. Scully was nowhere to be seen, and while he hoped she hadn’t left entirely he was grateful she wasn’t watching them, at least. This delicate situation was getting more and more so by the day.

“So… you’re here to stay, then? In Washington?” he asked. He didn’t want to sound too hopeful, because he wasn’t. The outlook was not good.

“I guess that depends,” she answered.

“On what?”

She shrugged. “On a number of factors.”

She looked up at him in a very pointed way and he knew in this moment he had been correct in his initial read of the situation: indeed, she hadn’t taken ‘no’ for an answer.

Probably because you didn’t actually tell her ‘no,’ you fucking coward, he told himself. But Diana had always been the kind of woman who went after what she wanted. While he had admired that about her years ago, even weeks ago, right now it was unwelcome and extremely inconvenient.

“I hope I’m not one of them,” he replied.

She stopped dancing and pulled back. Pinned him with a stare. “Why wouldn’t you be?” She seemed offended.

“Diana… you left me, remember?”

“And a few weeks ago we slept together, Fox.”

Not wanting to draw attention, he pulled her in again to keep dancing. Whenever he thought about that night, that moment of miserable weakness, he felt sick about it. Angry at himself; not only for giving in so easily but also for having put Scully in such a position to doubt him.

“I know, and that was…” he searched for a word, “...premature.”

“Maybe it was,” she said. “But it was still wonderful.”

He neither confirmed nor denied this statement, as it nauseated him even talking about this while Scully was somewhere in the vicinity.

Sleeping with Diana had been a mistake; he knew that now, of course. It hadn’t solved any of his problems. It had only created new ones.

He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, though. Maintaining a friendship with Diana was important, for the X-Files, for his conscience. For his sanity, really. He wanted to trust her. And he wanted to keep the relationships in his life as harmonious as possible, especially considering she didn’t seem to be going anywhere.

So rather than respond to her, he pulled her next to his cheek, scanning the room again over her shoulder, and prayed for the song to end as soon as possible.

When it did finally end, he extricated himself from her arms. “I think I’m gonna go get a drink,” he said. He quickly realized he needed to make it clear he didn’t want her to join him. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay. See you around.”

He gave her what he hoped was a friendly smile, and as he walked away, he felt relief. He wanted to find Scully, to somehow repair what he’d fucked up yet again in the past five minutes. To reassure her they were in no danger of The Great Diana Incident, Part Two.

He found her sitting at a table in the corner of the ballroom, her back to the dance floor.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you,” he said, pulling up a chair next to her. She took a sip of her drink, which looked like a gin and tonic, and eyed him.

“Here I am.”

She looked away again, not rudely, just guarded. He knew her too well.

“Too many people here, you know? Sometimes I forget we’re not the only ones at the FBI.” He grinned. She said nothing.

“Have I mentioned how great you look tonight?” he said. Charm wasn’t working; maybe a compliment would help.

She paused to take a sip, still not looking at him. “No, I think you said that to her, actually.”

Oof.

“Well, I didn’t because you don’t look great. You look… radiant.” He grinned and she rolled her eyes.

“Shut up, Mulder.”

“I mean it. You always look great, but I never get to see you like this.” He narrowed his eyes a bit. “You clean up good, Scully.”

She gave him the tiniest hint of a smile but still wasn’t looking directly at him. He realized she was going to make this as difficult as possible and he knew he probably deserved it. They were silent for a few moments more and the idea of making small talk with Scully made him feel like he was losing even more control of a situation that was already well out of hand.

She reached out to grab her drink and he stopped her hand with his own, covering it. She looked at him and in her eyes he saw softness, tenderness he hadn’t expected. So he took another chance.

“Dance with me, Scully.”

Her expression reflected surprise, perhaps not having expected him to actually have the balls to ask her such a thing. His eyes pled for yet another truce, now the second in what would probably continue to be a trail of half-assed truces until they could figure this all out, until their timing was finally right.

“Do you really want to dance, or is this you just being cute because you think I’m upset with you?”

"You think I’m cute?”

Another eyeroll.

“Scully. There’s nothing in the world I want more right now than to dance with you.” He stood and she allowed him to continue holding her hand. “Come on.”

Her eyes darted behind him, around the room, then back up to him. He knew the decision was fraught in multiple ways; how this would look to their co-workers, how it would look to Diana.

How it would feel for the two of them.

She seemed to want to find out as much as he did, because she stood up, and before she could change her mind he interlocked their fingers together and led her out to the dance floor.

His arms naturally pulled her in close and his eyes locked onto hers. It was different than dancing with Diana, for Scully was shorter and he had to crane his neck a bit to look at her. It felt so good to hold her like this, his hand at her waist, hers on his shoulder, their other two hands clasped together. And he was so relieved she was letting him.

After a few moments she dropped her head into his chest. She fit under his chin perfectly, which he knew she would from countless embraces of comfort, relief. Friendship. But he could feel his heart pounding in his chest beneath her cheek, knowing full well that things were very different now. He wondered if she could feel it, too.

After a minute he felt himself relaxing, and she did as well, and soon it just felt utterly comfortable holding her like this, spinning around the dance floor, breathing in her scent. It was something new, not quite floral, but definitely Scully. He couldn’t figure it out, and added it to the endless list of Scully puzzles in his mind, wishing he could find the answer to just one.

“Are we… okay, Scully?” he asked softly into her hair.

She was quiet for a moment, then he felt her hand, which was curled upwards around his shoulder, squeeze a bit tighter, almost possessively.

“That depends,” she replied.

“On what?”

“On what you get me for Christmas,” she said, and although he couldn’t see her face he could tell she was smiling. It was something in her voice, the way a subtle curve of her lips made her words sound. He closed his eyes and squeezed her back.

“Maybe a new partner, for starters?” he joked.

She sighed. “We aren’t partners anymore, Mulder.”

Technically she was right, but he certainly wasn’t going to admit as much. And he certainly didn’t feel that way.

“Yes, we are, Scully.” He laid his head down a bit on the top of hers. “It’s you and me. Partners. Always.”

He felt her take a deep breath. She nodded her head and her hair tickled his chin.

Relief washed over him in waves. This is going to be okay, this is all going to be okay.

“Who else is going to put up with you anyway, Mulder?” she said against his chest.

“No one would, Scully,” he said. “Only you.”

“Don’t forget that, and we can forego the Christmas gifts,” she suggested.

“Deal.”

He heard her sigh beneath him and he breathed her in, savoring this; the only dance that felt right. Another song began and neither of them let go.

THE WATERGATE APARTMENTS

WASHINGTON, D.C.

JANUARY 1999

It was nearly February and Diana hadn’t seen much of Fox at all since Christmas. As every day passed with no call, no paths crossed at work, she became more and more convinced he was avoiding her.

She was beginning to feel the stirrings of something she hadn’t felt before: desperation. She didn’t like it. Diana Fowley was rarely out of control.

The most frustrating part of it all was the mere idea that thoughts of the fox were yet again taking precedence over the work in her mind. It felt like déjà vu. She’d never wanted that to happen, even back when they were married, and it alarmed her.

There was a knock at her door and she hoped it was him, immediately chastising herself once again for feeling so needy. At the door, however, was Spender.

“There’s been a change of plans,” he said simply and she let him inside.

The creation of the first successful alien/human hybrid in Cassandra Spender had changed virtually everything. The timetable everyone had agreed upon was shot to shit; no one had anticipated a political upheaval among the aliens themselves.

Diana watched Spender as he sat down in a chair, looking more introspective than anything. She might have expected any other man to give up; in fact, she might have encouraged it. But Spender wanted to complete the work and she admired that. They’d come so far, and it was what she wanted, too.

He puffed his cigarette and she listened to his theatrical reflections. When he got this way it seemed as if she wasn’t really there, that he was talking only to himself. It was always best to just listen.

“I could never have scripted the events that led us to this. None of us could. All the brilliant men… the secret that we kept so well…”

She knew the plans, mostly. But Spender was doing something he hadn’t done before, not really. He seemed to be letting her in on his fears.

“They were good plans, right plans. Kept secret for over fifty years, ever since the crash at Roswell. Kept secret from men like Fox Mulder. Plans that would have worked had not a rebel alien race come to destroy them. Had not my own son chosen betrayal, or chosen to betray more wisely.”

“You should have expected this,” she said abruptly. She’d earned the right to second guess him at this point and they both knew enlisting Jeffrey Spender had been a fatal mistake. Involving his own son while the man’s mother suffered at Spender’s hands was the kind of hubris only he could attempt.

“I suppose I should have,” he agreed, to her surprise. “I’m rarely an optimist but I’d hoped my son would be more like his father; more concerned with his legacy than his scruples. I misjudged Jeffrey, and for that I have only myself to blame.”

“He’s going to do whatever he can to protect his mother,” she said.

“While the only thing she wants is to die,” he conceded. “But we cannot allow that.”

Fifty years of work had come to fruition. Ever since they’d found Gibson Praise and known for certain what he had inside him, Diana had every confidence he was the last thing they’d needed for their most promising alien/human hybrid test subject yet. And Dr. Openshaw had indeed delivered. Cassandra Spender was the one, the savior of mankind.

What Cassandra had inside her could save so many lives. She was more important than anything. Diana didn’t want to see that work go to waste.

“What if we could make him understand what she is, how important she is? Maybe he could believe?” She knew as the words left her mouth it could never happen. She knew as much from working closely with him for months.

“Jeffrey won’t believe,” Spender stated. “He refused to believe any of it. My son refused to believe that his mother had been abducted… even when I schemed to put him in charge of the X-Files… he turned to the man I’d ruined. The man I’d chosen for him to replace.”

“He knew Fox would try to help him. And you wouldn’t.”

“There’s no helping Jeffrey,” he said flatly. “He’s of no use to us anymore.” She knew that tone and it scared her.

“But… he’s your son,” she said. She’d searched for a heart within this man for years and not once had she gotten a glimpse. “He isn’t disposable. He’s not just a pawn you can wipe off the board.”

“Diana, there’s something I must tell you,” he said suddenly, ignoring her protestations. She was taken aback by the use of her given name. He’d never referred to her so informally.

“Tell me what?”

“Information that might change your perspective,” he said, looking her dead in the eyes now.

She was well aware of Spender’s ability to manipulate people, and was certain she’d been a victim of it in the past, regardless of his promises. But in his eyes right now was something she rarely saw when she looked into them: truth. He had something to say, something important. Something true.

“What is it?”

He paused, briefly. Then the words poured forth more quickly than she could process.

“Fox Mulder is my son.”

Diana was stunned. She wasn’t even sure how to react. Her two worlds were colliding suddenly and very unexpectedly. How had she never known? Fox had never introduced her to his father in all the years they’d known each other, and she’d known very little besides the fact they were estranged.

Diana shook her head. “Why hasn’t Fox ever told me about you?”

“Because… he doesn’t know the truth.”

Diana stared back incredulously. “Are you saying he doesn’t know you’re his father?”

Spender looked at her blankly.

“And I suppose you expect me to keep this from him, as well as everything else? To not tell him this huge secret?”

“Yes.” It wasn’t an overt threat, but she knew enough about Spender to know he was deadly serious.

She felt herself shrinking away from him, sinking into her chair. A wave of emotion and clarity washed over her in an instant. She wasn’t stupid, she never had been, but she felt it acutely now.

Of course this had to be true. Spender had always had an eye on Fox, and she’d never clued in to the fact that it might be something more than his occasional usefulness, or his ability to distract from and unknowingly dismiss his own discoveries by shouting them to the heavens.

“No. I can’t keep this from him. Not this. I think you underestimate how much I care about him.” She felt as if he’d trapped her.

“On the contrary, I know exactly how much you care about him. That’s why I’ve entrusted you and you alone with this.”

She paused, curious. “What do you mean?”

“I’m well aware you and he have a history, as you know. But Agent Mulder and I… have a history of our own. And it’s not a very pretty picture.”

She felt her eyes narrow. “Please, paint it for me.”

“I don’t want to elaborate. Suffice it to say, when I reveal the truth to him, when he finally has his proof, that will be the proper time for us to… mend fences.”

Diana didn’t know what to say. It was too much to process. And she wasn’t sure of his intentions with Fox. If his attitude towards Jeffrey was any indication, she feared for Fox’s life in this moment, truly.

“This… this is too strange, Sir. The fact that you’ve kept this information from me for so many years makes me very uncomfortable.”

Spender took a drag of his cigarette. “For whatever reason, he and you and I have been thrown into the mix together,” he continued, cigarette smoldering. “Call it fate, destiny, whatever you like. But I believe it’s for a singular purpose.”

“What purpose?”

He leveled his stare at her. “The only purpose that matters, Diana: the work. The work you and he and I have sacrificed so much for.”

His words struck a chord inside her. Maybe he was right; perhaps this all was some strange twist of fate. Maybe she’d been placed in this position to continue and complete the work. And once she did, she could be free of this man, once and for all. The world could be saved. Fox would know the truth, and he would have his final puzzle piece.

Then maybe, just maybe, they could be together again.

“The amount of suffering I’ve endured over the years, the inability to tell my son the truth…” he trailed off and looked down. She wasn’t sure why - perhaps something in his eyes gave way and she believed he was truly regretful - but she felt somewhat sympathetic for him in that moment.

“I’m sure Fox has suffered too,” she said. How would he react to this news when he ultimately learned it?

“I need your help, Diana. Consider it an opportunity to show me you’re capable of handling the responsibility that comes with this knowledge.” He looked up at her from his chair. “I only hope it’s not too late.”

“What is it you need?” She had to do what he asked; she owed him her life. And she hoped beyond hope that whatever task he entrusted her with would be the last.

“We need Cassandra,” he said simply. “And I need you to be the one to retrieve her. Jeffrey trusts you.”

She scoffed. “He won’t after I remove his mother from his custody.”

“I’m sure you’ll come up with something.” He took another drag; blew it out.

“Trust isn’t easily earned, Diana. I’ve trusted no one. Treachery is the inevitable result of all affairs. Every man believes he has his own good reason. I have little doubt of my son's disloyalty to me. Certainly he led Mulder and Scully to us. His mother must know by now her central role in the grand plan… that she's as much alien as human.” He took one final puff. “Do you wonder why I’ve chosen you? You’ve never betrayed me. Now I need someone to trust.”

His eyes said this was the right course. She stood and made to leave.

“I’ll help you,” she assured him. “It’s not too late.”

[brittainrhea]

Ghouli

- Ghouli looks so cool.

- Those girls were slicing and dicing. Damn! Calm down!!

- "You see what I want you to see"

- "Frozen on a stranger's bed" That's not creepy at all.

-Omg the three-piece business casual set of satin pajamas have returned!! I can't remember who on here talked about her always wearing it and referred to it as a three-piece business casual set of satin pajamas BUT I always scream "three-piece business casual satin pajamas!" EVERY. TIME. It makes me happy. Then I think about somebody saying she was a cozy bitch. Yeah...that makes me happy. So happy. Geez, how many times can I say three-piece business casual satin pajamas? So many times...so many...

-Scully is looking pretty badass walking through that house in her three-piece business casual satin pajamas holding a gun. Such a badass.

-They're being followed...that's not good.

-William is watching them on the Chimera.

- Bob! Go get your coffee!

- It's breath smelled like cinnamon?

- A dream just like Scully. Okay, so these girls were both Jackson's girlfriends and they didn't know what his house looked like? I mean you would think they would have seen it at some point. I guess it depends on how long they've known each other. Anywho, the one said her parents didn't approve of her having a boyfriend so did she mean a boyfriend in general or didn't approve of Jackson. She says "they're really lame but he's cool." Kind of makes me wonder if she was meaning they didn't approve of him specifically.

- "Kids would get stoned on it in the summer. Not me." Mulder's face and the way he throws his hands up at this comment was pretty funny. He's like yeah right...lol!

- Van de Kamp. Scully's face says it all.

- Woah, people still use the steering wheel and pedals on games?! What?! I know this is not the important part of the scene but I haven't seen anyone use those in a long time.

- I just want to hug Scully. Did you see her face?

- "You're trying to find answers to questions nobody else is asking." Well yeah...you don't understand why but it's kind of important for them to know this stuff.

- A murder suicide to me would seem a bit strange unless there were known issues with the family which I don't remember them saying anything about throughout this episode so...yeah...it seems a bit strange that the detective was so quick to accept that.

- Seriously Scully, seeing you like this just makes me sad and want to give you a big hug.

- I like that they had his room decorated in space stuff. Nice touch.

- I like that Mulder goes full detective.

- These DoD peeps are dicks.

- The first time I watched Scully's speech in the morgue...it was sad but I just didn't feel much of anything which for me was incredibly weird. However, the second time I watched it, I connected with it more.

"I wish I could have been there to ease your pain."

That part got me. Out of everything she says that part really got me. Gillian Anderson did a wonderful job which is nothing new. She's awesome. Well I think she is. Have you seen her in The Fall? So awesome.

Both times I watched this scene when she says "if you are William...this is what I'd say." Seemed so weird. So strange for her to say. I just feel like if that line was cut out, it would have been better. If she said "If you are William...I'm sorry." I would have been more immersed in the moment because both times I watched this as soon as she says "this is what I'd say." I immediately was pulled from the scene. Something about that just bothered me. My brain was just like why would you say it like that?

-Poor Scully...Poor Mulder... You can tell this is really getting to him, he's just trying to hide it for Scully.

- Mulder is right. She doesn't need to apologize for anything. She tried to do what was best for him.

- "Is this a message for me? Or am I sending a message to you?" After watching this episode, I'd like to know that answer too.

- "Did you take that from his room?" You can hear in his voice that he's struggling to keep it together.

- ”Do you like windmills?”  My brain immediately started thinking about the “I like turtles” kid.  

- "I like this one." Scully is so sweet.

- DoD douchebags here to ruin everything. Good job with the soda, Mulder!

- Skinner, come on dude. You're so lucky that I like you. I know you're in a tough spot and you try to help Mulder and Scully but damn dude! OMG! CSM, why must you show up?! I'm completely okay with not seeing you. I really hate you now. I didn't like you before but I could at least watch your scenes without getting completely pissed. You've gone to the next level of douchebag and your complete being just angers me.

- "It's cold and it smells." Skinner don't be a baby. Your warning is a little late dude. Skinner stop talking...you're making this worse. Mulder must think they're to blame for William's death. So sad. Skinner definitely feels terrible now. Maybe he should have told them this crap sooner. Well maybe he didn't know all of it yet.

So...CSM is using Mulder and Scully to find William?  And does Skinner not realize this? I feel like Skinner would have really tried convince them to stop searching for William if he knew this.  It seems strange...he know so much or appears to know so much.

- "It's an alternate reality Fox doesn't exist in coffee shops."

- CSM and Project Crossroads. Another experiment that Scully was unknowingly a subject of...well I guess we don't know for sure yet. Scully didn't seem to have much of a reaction to finding out that she was possibly the subject of another experiment thanks to Ol' Smokey. I know her main concern is William however she was just told that she was experimented on again. I would think she would be visibly pissed, upset, something!

- Where is he now? Well Scully they decided to make your son into kind of an ass so he's going to hang out with his two girlfriends. You know the ones he decided to test his powers on. Possibly traumatizing them by making them see the other as a monster which made them attack and almost kill each other.

- Okay...the first time I watched this whole Jackson at the hospital scene...I was so pissed that they made him seem like such a douche that I didn't notice some of his expressions when he was apologizing to them and explaining what was going on with him. I didn't pay close enough attention to how he was saying stuff and to what he was saying either. Obviously all this makes a big difference when watching this scene. I originally thought it seemed like he didn't care about what had happened with everything. To me it seemed like he was scared that these people were trying to kill him but that was about it.

Now the second time...once I had time to cool off...I noticed that he did seem bothered by what he had done, what happened to his family, and he seemed really confused and scared. He seemed like he was in shock after all this which is understandable.  He still seems like an ass which is disappointing.

- Jackson...you need a haircut...it would be a lot easier for you to escape if you could actually see where you are going.

- Again, Ghouli looks cool. Too bad it isn't real. What a shame.

- WILLIAM GET OUT THERE AND TALK TO YOUR MOTHER! I was so pissed at this part and I literally yelled this at the tv.

- I liked the final scene between Scully and Jackson. It seems so weird calling him Jackson and not William. I wish he would have just shown his face and actually talked to them before driving off. Was that too much to ask? Seeing Mulder and Scully watching the video...seeing him and hearing him was a very sweet moment. But I feel like they should have tried to go after him. It seems more like something they would have done... well at least it seems like something they would have done back in the day. I felt like Scully would have realized that was him before he drove off. I know she thought something was strange but it just seemed like with their knowledge of his power that she would have put that together.  I mean they just discussed it.

- To be honest, I was super pissed and incredibly disappointed after I watched the episode the first time. I was so excited to see this episode in particular because we all knew we would see William. We would actually get to see what he's become. I was so pissed that they made him seem like such an ass. I felt like I did at the end of MSIII. I tell you when I realized where they were going with the En Ami episode with CSM and Scully...I freaked especially since I've read the theories about it before and that was the one thing I said I really hoped they did not include in the show and guess what they did it!

Anyway...I guess my disappointment was with what they did with William not so much the episode as a whole because we had some great Mulder and Scully moments.

I enjoyed the episode more the second time I watched it. As I said before once I had time to cool off and not go into it being super hyped. I'm still not happy with the choices they made with William. His overall appearance irritated me. Seriously dude...cut your hair...if not cut your hair then get it out of your face...style it differently. Just do something different...geebus... The whole two girlfriends thing and testing his powers on them...I really just don't like it. I know he apologizes for what happened on the Chimera but he doesn't seem to see anything wrong with having two girlfriends that knew nothing about the other. The whole going to the hospital to see them and so on...ugh... It makes him look like an ass.

I feel like we were left with more unanswered questions that we will more than likely never get the answers to.  

I’m still on the fence about this episode...I liked it better the second time but I’m not sure I can say that I necessarily thought it was a good episode.  I just didn’t hate it. I don’t know...I felt like this episode should have been so much more.  

Other random thoughts....

Scully, why didn’t you seem upset about being a part of another experiment thanks to Ol’ Smokey? It seemed like they just acted like Mulder didn’t say anything about it. Why bring it up?

The Van de Kamps are now in Virginia? In like some fancy ass house. In season 9 weren't they on some farm in Wyoming. That's a major lifestyle change. Will we find out what happened with that? They were in the middle of nowhere before but now they're in some fancy neighborhood. Very weird.

I wish the Ghouli was real. It seems like a waste of a monster for it to just be something Jackson made up in his head. It looked pretty cool. They could have made him some failed experiment from the eugenics program. Like some branch of doctors working on the program really messed shit up. Lol!! I was really bummed that it wasn't some badass monster.

I noticed that both times Mulder saw William dead he kind of stares at his face and then suddenly looks away like he can't handle looking at him. First time when he goes upstairs to find Scully and sees them putting him in the body bag. The second time when he's hugging Scully in the morgue. So sad.

Ghouli.net was cool.  When Jackson said he made everything up, does he mean just everything about the Ghouli? Or did he make up the stories about the kid seeing the red haired woman too?

They need to rename this episode 'Mulder and Scully need a hug.'

[cruximpetus]

🔜, 🎭, 💬

Munday Meme - Multimuse Edition

🔜: Are there any muses you want to add, but aren’t sure about?

-looks at Cigarette Smoking Man--looks at CSM real hard--coughs-…as opposed to Reyes, who I’m planning to do but have to finish the series first, CSM just kind of sits and smokes and stares at me and I just pretend he doesn’t exist.Also in debate are Akito Sohma (Fruits Basket), Haruko Haruhara (FLCL), and Lily Aldrin (How I Met Your Mother).

🎭: With which of your muses can you identify the most?

Well.  If I can do a conglomerate, I’ve got Jess’s coloring, Galen’s thought processes, and Bedelia’s anxiety (…and honestly, a lot of her backstory pulls from me as well, oops).If I don’t do a conglomerate, it’d be either Amy or Galen.  When I read their books (Gone Girl and Catalyst, respectively), I very strongly identified with both of them, albeit for different reasons, and I remember specifically with both of them feeling like this was an aspect of myself that I hadn’t seen in a character before.…Amy’s me on a bad day.  Galen’s me on a stable day.  Basically.

💬: Write a banter between two of your muses. (Bonus: Sender chooses which muses)

…I really need to make a sideblog for this again, because I used to do this with Jessica and Elsa all the time (back when I wrote Elsa) and I could probably do it again with Jess and Dana while I watch The X Files because they both have very opposing thoughts on the whole thing (or with OC!Jess and Bedelia because things).That’s not banter, hold up a second.

Also, if you’re up for it - they’re reacting to this.

Maru:  ...what are you watching?Chara: A video game.Maru: ?Chara: Someone else playing a video game?Maru: ???Chara: He’s trying to get across the bridge.  See the bridge?Maru: The little animal and the bridge missing the planks, yes.Chara: Ok, the guy in the corner is controlling the animal.Maru: -nods once-Chara: And he’s gotta jump just right to make it across the bridge.Maru: Because of the missing planks, yes.Chara: So that’s...so that’s what I’m watching.Maru: Why?Chara: Because he keeps falling through and it’s hilarious.  See how the man in the corner keeps getting more upset the longer this goes on?Maru: Yes.Chara: He spends twenty minutes on this level.  He dies a lot.Maru: And this is...funny.Chara: Look, just watch and listen to the man in the corner.  Watch how he reacts every time the little animal dies.Maru: When it falls off the bridge/Chara: Yeah.  See how much pain he’s in?Maru:  Yes.Chara: That’s what’s funny.Maru: -ruffles Chara’s hair-Chara: What’d ya do that for?Maru: I like you.  Will show you much better forms of men in pain.Chara: Really?  Cool!...meanwhile Jess is somewhere in the background talking about how the original Crash games were super hard and tapping her chin with one finger and remembering how much Crash actually hated doing those death scenes.  But she doesn’t say that.  She thinks Maru will get too much out of that.

[xfilesnews]

FanWorks Wednesdays - mimic117

by Keva Andersen

If you’ve ever needed help finding a fic you’ve read but can’t remember the full title or author, chances are this week’s author has helped you find it. Meet mimic117! She’s a wonderful author and also a prolific beta who helped shape some of your favorite stories. Mimic117 also runs The X-Files Lost and Found which is a great resource if you ever need help tracking down a story.

Look through her extensive list of work and you’ll find everything from casefiles, Mulder Torture, and heavy angst, to humor, family fic, and even an X-Men crossover. And there’s a little *ahem* adult activity as well if that’s what you’re looking for. One of my personal favorites is the “Chip Off the Old Block” series which brings Charlie Scully back into the picture shortly after the start of Season 9. But don’t let that S9 throw you, Mulder is still there. If terror is more your thing, “Only Skin Deep” dives into the mind of an obsessive stalker and it may just keep you up at night.

I could offer more recommendations of her work but this week I prefer to let our author do the talking. Mimic117 is a long-time member of the fandom and has done a lot to preserve many of the stories we first read on geocities and other sites that are now long-gone. We talked about writing, fandom, and how fanfiction has changed over the years and I hope you enjoy her perspective as much as I did.

How long have you been a Phile?

I didn't start watching the program until season 4 because Friday was always grocery shopping night. We only had one car so I didn't go shopping until Mr. Mims got home from work. Then we'd eat supper, throw the kids in the car, and not get back home until after 9 PM. I distinctly remember #1 son running inside to watch as soon as we pulled in, which is why he never helped unload groceries because "The X-Files is on!" He kept telling me how good it was and that I should watch. I finally got the chance when they moved to Sunday night and watched all the way through to the bitter end.

What was your first episode?

“F-Emasculata” – the one with the exploding boils. ~gag~ I have no idea why I continued after that but I did. I've always been more of a MOTW fan than the mytharc but I do wish they hadn't written so many with exploding boils and maggots.

How long have you been writing fic?

I actually had to look it up on Gossamer. LOL, I posted my first story in 2000. It seems like I wrote for a much longer time than that but I think overall it was almost 10 years. I just posted the second half of a story last year that was actually five years overdue, but nothing between about 2009 and then.

What inspired you to start writing?

I came to fanfic late too, and read obsessively for a good three years, encountering a lot of frogs in with the princes, before I said, "I can do better than that." I'm not really sure I did considering how out of character Mulder is in that first story, but the fire was lit and I just kept going. I like to think that leaving my oldest immature/flawed stories up helps to show how much my writing has improved but I have to admit it's kind of embarrassing when somebody recommends one of those.

Who is your favorite XF character to write?

Mulder. Always. I love his snarky dialog and the way he views the world. I was a lot less comfortable with Scully early on, although giving her the flu in "Getting By" was great fun, and using her POV in "Unfolding" felt very natural. I became more comfortable with her the older I got. I did a short piece from Frohike's POV in "Bare Ruin'd Choirs," which I really enjoyed, and I've got a decent start on a long piece from Doggett's POV. I've enjoyed being in his head and hope to get that one done some day.

Are there any XF characters you dislike or find too difficult to write?

As much as I like Skinner, I've never tried his POV because I'm not sure I understand him well enough. I'd be too afraid of getting him wrong. I've always disliked CSM and would never even consider writing from his POV. I'm not even sure I want to write about someone else encountering him. ~brr~ There are so many XF authors who do both beautifully that I'll leave these guys to them. I'm not sure I'd ever write Reyes either, for the same reasons as staying away from Skinner. She never appealed to me as a character.

Is there a story you're most proud of or that's a favorite?

Geez, that's like asking which son I like best. In general, I tend to like my original-character stories best. Maybe that's because *everyone* writes M and S and Sk, but only I write my OCs. Out of the stories I've done, I think I'm most proud of "Only Skin Deep," the stalker story. That was a very intense piece to write for many reasons, most of them having to do with getting inside the head of an obsessive psycho stalker. I loved it in there! It also scared the crap out of me. I've always read mysteries/casefiles, both in fanfic and RL novels, and I've wanted to write one for years. This story gave me the chance to try, even in a short format, and I found out how hard it is. I had to figure out all of the mechanics of the casefile, set the pacing, deliver the thoughts and dialog, make sure there weren't any loose ends – it took close to a year to complete. I'd have to say it was worth the work and this is probably my favorite story as a result. I've had a sequel planned for years but now that I know what to expect from getting into Julie's head, I'm finding it hard to commit.

With so many archives to choose from these days, where is the best place to find your work?

I've still got my own site, recently stripped down, renovated, and moved off Wordpress (I HATED the way the stories were displayed there!). http://mimicsmusings.com  I decided the overhaul was needed when Gossamer stopped updating and I realized that I'd forgotten how to post at Wordpress. LOL, I know a lot of authors are gravitating to Archive of Our Own these days, but I prefer to keep as much as I can in one place. That used to be Gossamer, but my newest stories were missing from there and my old site, so moving it seemed like a good idea. I may get around to adding my stuff on AO3 when I need a new challenge. I do have a Live Journal but there's not a blessed thing on it. In fact, the screen even says, "Nothing to see here. Move along please."

You've been well known in the fandom for a long time, do you still write for XF or have your skills been focused elsewhere?

As I mentioned before, I haven't written anything in about 6 years, other than to finish something that was due 5 years ago. When I hit my senior level of college around 2008, I started having less time and motivation to write fic. Then I went on to grad school in 2011 and lost what little urge I had left. All of my writing was focused on my thesis, but I often looked longingly at my stash of WIPs and wished I could work on them instead. I've been out of school for almost three years now and have only picked at old stories every so often. I suspect if other things in my life ever settle down, I'll definitely go back to it. I've got a solid dozen WIPs on my hard drive and new ideas aren't gone, just the urge to write them down.

Is there anything in particular that caused you to stop writing?

Grad school, plus Mr. Mims needing two major surgeries in as many years, were the first things to put a real crimp in my fic writing. Trying to come up with ways of earning a living so that he can retire without having to worry about bills. Branching out into photography, which didn't go quite the way I'd hoped but did satisfy my creative urge. Just kind of life, in general, some days. In an old interview that's up on my website, I said I didn't see myself stopping. Ever. Boy, when I get it wrong...!

Have you written your own original characters outside of fandom?

I've had a supernatural mystery/thriller in process for a good 20 years now. The heroine is weak and I haven't even written a hero yet. The best thing about it is the bad guy and the secondary characters. I've written an entire scene with the villain and another with the bit players but other than that, the novel is going nowhere fast. I suspect I'm not cut out to be a best-selling novelist.

Anything you’d like to share about your writing process?

I've never been a very efficient writer, but grad school taught me a lot about what works for me and gave me a couple of better habits. I've only ever written one outline because the research paper I was doing would have been hell to keep straight without it. For most other pieces I write what comes to me, as it comes to me, then stitch it together when I've got enough. Sometimes this means that I've written something good but put it in the wrong place, so moving text "Legos" is a big part of the process. If things get too complicated, I've even printed out a piece, cut it apart, and then taped it in the right order. I often finish the end first, because I have to know where I'm going. Sometimes it changes, most of the time it doesn't. Many stories come to me through the title. The right one will tell me what the story is about, so I usually have the title before I even start writing. Other than that, it's a question of not pushing it. Trying to force myself to write often means not being able to write, so if I'm not in the mood or the words won't come, I do something else unless that changes.

What do you find most difficult about writing?

Getting started. I'm always beginning pieces in my head, then something comes up so that I can't write it down. I frequently get great ideas/lines as I'm trying to fall asleep, which means I either have to get back up and write it down or accept that it'll be gone in the morning. Getting started is a daily struggle when actually in the process too. Our brains are lazy and will find anything to avoid doing what we want. The Internet is great for wasting time so when I'm writing, I can't even go online for a few minutes or I'll be there for hours.

Do you have a favorite author? (fanfic or published!)

Another "pick a favorite child" question! I think I need to split this up a bit. Published authors: Since I'm a huge mystery/thriller fan, right now my favorites are Sandra Brown and Mark de Castrique. I got free books by both through daily download sites and I'm hooked. Sandra does really good romantic thriller characters, and Mark has two incredible thriller series set in NC with amazing characters and settings. I've read every book he's published and I'm jonesing for more.

Fanfic authors: This one is really really tough. For overall quality of plot, dialog, characters, settings, etc. it's gotta be aka "Jake." Her casefiles are so spot-on I can see them as if I'm watching the show. Brandon Ray is right up there, too. He really understands Scully and writes her so well a lot of readers didn't realize he was a guy. David Hearne is the master of humor and quirkiness. dee_ayy, Jo-Ann Lassiter, and Peggy did medical Mulder!Torture that isn't over the top. Yeah, picking one ain't gonna happen. LOL, I've heard of some really good newer authors, too. I need to check out some of them.

Is there any advice you'd give to aspiring writers?

Go for it. If you sit around wondering if you should, you can save time by just jumping in and doing it. Don't try to figure the "right" way to work. Do it your way, and do it whenever you have time, even if it's just a few minutes in between doing something else.

When you're not writing, think about what you want to write. Go over it in your mind, set up the dialog, see the scenes, then consciously put it away. When you sit down to write again, something will be there. It might not be exactly what you were thinking of, but you'll have something. This is what your brain does best. It's often called the "Eureka!" effect, but it's really just your subconscious working in the background. Trust it and learn to rely on it.

Don't fight the story. I think the biggest mistake fic writers (especially) make is asking "What do I want these characters to do?" If you're working with canon characters, the question should be "What *would* these characters do?" All characters have their own personalities, motivations, moral sense, background, especially characters that were created for a show. Know who your characters are, even the ones you create yourself. You'll only use a tiny portion of their background, but you have to know it ahead of time so you'll know how they would react in a particular situation. I found many times that a story I was having trouble with came from not listening to what the characters wanted to do. That usually meant I was trying to go in the wrong direction, and once I listened to the character, the writing became easier.

Do you think fic has changed over the years? You run a popular message board, X-Files Lost and Found, that helps track down missing fic....has the demand for that changed at all?

Oh, fic has definitely changed! For one thing, NoRoMo was the accepted standard back in the early days of the fandom. Shippers were the minority, and not necessarily well thought of. After the first movie, things started to swing the other way until the 'ship was the primary genre for XF fic and UST fell by the wayside. The advent of binge watching the series on DVD/Netflix/whatever resulted in a new genre of fic based on M&S-were-meant-to-be-together-and-have-a-baby (or a bunch of them). The newer writers didn't experience the weekly relationship struggle and sort of just skipped right to doing the wild thing and having William. The fic coming out of this viewpoint is radically different from the previous 15 years or more of Phile fic.

All of the message boards are seeing less traffic these days, although Lost & Found can always count on someone showing up with a description or title for us to hunt down. It appears the action is now on Tumblr and AO3 rather than L&F or Haven, but there's still enough interest to make it worth keeping the board open. My only problem is that I haven't read a lot of the newer authors so my rep as a fic-finding guru is suffering.

Anything else you'd like to share that I missed?

I'd like to extend a challenge to all Philes – help us save the stories. Yes, AO3 is doing a fantastic job of archiving these days, but they can't possibly hang onto everything out there. It seems like it's mostly new stories being added, while a lot of the older fic either languishes in obscurity or disappears into a black hole. Slash and Doggett fiction have always been the ugly ducklings in the fandom, which makes those kinds of stories much harder to find. Something that each of us can do is to create collections of fic on our computers, in a cloud storage device, or elsewhere. If you like a particular story, save it, then track down the rest of what the author wrote and save that too. A few of us are still gathering old sites to rebuild and we always need people who can either find a fic or have a copy to share. Some day the fandom may be mostly on peoples' hard drives, but at least it would still exist. This is one of the longest-running fandoms out there. Let's do our best to keep it that way.

Thanks to mimic117 for talking with us!

[mytouchstone]

Season 9 Msr

Fox Mulder

Gillian Anderson

Maggie Scully

1993 David

2017 Gillian

Scully

Gillian

Walter Skinner

Reyes

Missy and Reyes

Reyes

Season 7 because they are both so happy and flirty in it

This is soo motherfucking hard but permanum because of the flashbacks and depressing Scully and Will moments

OMFG UGH IDK I GUESS in empedocles, when he puts his hand on her belly for the first time

When she becomes a mom she gets so much more protective

When he forgets about his sister and stars to care more about Scully and their son

Season 8 when he becomes a father figure to Scully.

When he finally realizes Mulders the father of Scully’s baby, and stops telling Scully she doesn’t know Mulder that well.

The very last scene of TXF she’s in where she goes against csm and tries to stop him front killing skinner.

Spender.

He confuses me but he’s pretty mfuckin hot

William arc. I still cry myself to sleep every night because of it.

Mulder Tries to hit on Scully but she’s like with her boyfriend all popular and shit in medical school and Mulders a looser in college and Scully flips him off

Mulder trying to hit on Scully but Scully being professional at work

Skinner catching them doing it at work

Scully just wanting to be a happy family and doing what’s best by sending Mulder off. Mulder refusing to leave because he just wants to be with his family.

iWtb because of all the Msr and the bee scene ruins the whole movie and annoys me too much tbh.

It was boring but the bed scene made me like the whole movie

Pretty good, but I’ve watched it too much so I’m sick of it and it annoys me because of the bee scene.

The scene before the bee sting

SCRATCHY BEARD

Clearly season 8 season finale.

Some after shave but nothing more

Pregnant smut.

Reading fic is all I do with my life. Especially season 8 fanfics because I like to make myself depressed.

The only choice by scullysrighteyebrow it’s my fav and terrafirma by Malibu sunset

Slept together mid season 7

Dated late season 6

He’s awful. Idk why I watch this fucking show and why I love it so much. He definitely read some fanfic before season 11 tho, so I give him that much.

Something with some sleepingatlast , some depressing songs like “hurts like hell” “what about angels”

Isn’t she lovely - Stevie wonders

Can’t help falling in love - Elvis

Sometime around 2016 but i don’t remember because watching x files was the most depressing time in my life and I try to forget those rough times when I would sit on the couch with a bag of potato chips and sob.

My sister made me. I still hate her for that.

I feel like there is something out there on a mother planet, but the don’t look like the classic aliens we think they look like.

NASA.

Scully and Stella

Because trustnoone is Mulders email and it’s also just a famous x files quote

@sculdership we are both on Instagram too so you should check us out! I’m trying to get to 2,000, and I’m almost there! My username is scullyandmulderforever ! Thx

X-Files themed asks!

Season 1 MSR or season 9 MSR? 

David Duchovny or Fox Mulder? 

Gillian Anderson or Dana Scully? 

Maggie Scully or Melissa Scully? 

1993 David or 2017 David?

1993 Gillian or 2017 Gillian?

Mulder or Scully?

David or Gillian?

The Lone Gunmen or Walter Skinner?

Who is your favorite character aside from Mulder and Scully?

Do you have any X-Files ships aside from MSR?

Reyes or Doggett?

Favorite season(s)? Why?

Favorite episode(s)? Why?

Favorite MSR moments?

Favorite character developments for Scully?

Favorite character developments for Mulder?

Favorite character developments for Skinner?

Favorite character developments for Doggett?

Favorite character developments for Reyes?

Spender or Krycek?

How do you feel about that bitch Alex Krycek?

Which broke your heart more: Emily arc or William arc?

List some college MSR headcanons!

List some season 1 MSR headcanons

List some season 7 MSR headcanons

List some season 9 MSR headcanons

IWTB or FTF? Why?

How did you feel about IWTB?

How did you feel about FTF?

Favorite thing(s) / moment(s) from FTF?

Favorite thing(s) / moment(s) from IWTB?

Favorite season finale?

Scruffy Mulder or clean shaven Mulder?

Give us your MSR sexy time headcanons

Do you read fics? If so, what’s your favorite kind to read?

Do you have any fic recs?

When do you think Mulder and Scully first slept together? What was it like?

When do you think Mulder and Scully first started dating?

How do you feel about the direction Chris Carter takes as the series progresses?

What’s your ultimate MSR song/playlist?

A song you think embodies Fox Mulder?

A song you think embodies Dana Scully?

When did you first start watching The X-Files?

Why did you first start watching The X-Files?

What are your thoughts about extraterrestrial life?

IRL space: NASA or SpaceX?

Favorite character crossover headcanons?

If you’re an X-Files blog, if your username related to the show? If so, why did you choose it?

Any X-File blogs you would recommend?