#I talk abt things in equal measure with things I love abt these games so if it's just smth that

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

I really hate the inconsistencies that exist just to make SB (and CF technically) work, but also how hard Petra basically simps for Edelgard to the point it deconstructs aspects of her character.

In Houses she mentions her siblings being in danger if she died, but in SB she just doesn't even make any mention of them in this situation. She's just willing to possibly die all of a sudden for someone who never actually treated Brigid like its people were independent (which she could've done at literally any time from the moment she became emperor). She was relatively vocally I guess you could say "good" to Petra, but the way the writing handles Petra's response to all of it feels like Petra's just been brainwashed.

Petra says she would always choose survival and makes a point to emphasis that, but in SB she's completely and carelessly willing to risk her life and possibly throw it away... for Edelgard? Who still has not actually officially freed Brigid? And if Petra were to stop being Edelgard's ally?

"Reconsideration". Because Brigid was never freed and now they're not going to be as long as Edelgard is in charge, because their queen is no longer bending to her will and fighting for her. If she was ever truly planning to free Brigid, Petra's decision alone not to fight for her shouldn't have changed that fact (especially since she supposedly gives her the choice in Houses to fight for her or not, and on non CF routes she does this by sending a letter, to which Petra refuses).

It should, of course, be obvious with this that everything is very not hunky dory between Adrestia and Brigid, but then...

...eh wot hooligans???

I mean sure, if you considered forced vassalage to be "peace" and not being a free people "peace" then sure. But like... it's not a peace her people want and she should know that, but the game tends to do this back and forth with this topic. I hate it though because it makes it come across as being forced into submission and not having the means to fight back is "peace".

I know this game has lots of issues with uh, if you're attacked or if you were defeated by another military force you should submit and be happy about being taken over, and when you can't fight back anymore that's "peace" because nobody's fighting... but uhh... why is that only an issue with the Empire? I mean, we know why - the devs wanted to walk with her and they admitted it! But like... they should still know when they're writing something reeeeally icky.

Duscur doesn't have this problem and they're not under Edelgard's foot. Anything under Edelgard's foot though is treated like they should be thankful for her control and/or invasion(s). That just overall sends a really nasty message. I don't know that the devs meant to do that as far as an Empire, but I do think it's because they went a little hard with the Edelgard bias and somehow forgot what it would look like to an audience playing the game.

It's like they know it's not a good thing but they keep pushing the "Brigid isn't actually free but it's still peace because nobody is fighting" narrative.

Like... I don't care how much you love a character you're writing. You can't tell me that oppressed nations would just call oppressions "peace" or that their leaders would be more than happy to fight and die for the leader of the nation oppressing them. It gets even worse when you get into the racial territory of it, but that's a topic I've already covered so I'm not gonna go over it again here.

[gayspock]

ok current random thoughts on severance

- first of all tempted to rewatch from the beginning at some point. unsure when, but hm.... maybe before not next ep, but the ep after? i think bingeing- its like i couldnt NOT binge a lil<3 - some things do blur a little, as opposed to weekly releases, and i'd really like to reabsorb some things >:3 - i really like dylan!! SORRY, just want to give him some love- and i hope they do more with him, whilst still maintaining the balance theyve struck with him bc... i think... hm. THIS IS LESS ABT SEVERANCE, HERE! but its moreso an unguided ramble in general abt, like, the functions of certain characters i guess? bc thus far i feel like... you know. dylan serves to add a bit of levity, and to cut some tension; he's a very good balance to the office dynamic, as well as being a very... necessary perspective. not just in terms of contrast to the others, but like his genuine existence as a more complaisant type of character not like irving or even how mark tends to be, but like.... the normal guy who kind of doesnt buy into it, and isnt reverant to the systems, but also isnt kicking up a terrible fuss and sort of doesnt question it in like a . "well its just sorta like that ehhh<3"

or only does so in a nonserious way, conspiratorial stuff that airs more on the side of fun poking at shite, or like. in general he will defy lumon in moreso little ways- so i guess it probably still fancies himself as having some agency (unlike irving, in his opinion) but also does think himself rational (unlike helly, in his opinion) bc by his measure its like fucked, sure, but also whatever- when like at the end of the day he's still very much playing the game even if he's very casual about it all- AND . anyway thats all to say i would like to see MORE of him, in some sense! but also i reocgise that like. hmmm. a lot of this and how he functions is kind of inherent to him NOT being so centre stage, of him not having too much "up" with him and that sense of normalcy being integral to him BUT

equally i guess i started rambling abt it bc gosshh OMG OK<- ANNOYING MOMENT INCOMING. <-A BLOKE IS ABT TO TALK ABOUT D*CTOR WH*..,. <-OH EEK THIS IS A WARNING!! bc like if we're talking the current dw specials yeah? i feel like (at least, i at first) tried to allow for, and to be like "ok!" the addition of dan, to supplement graham and ryan's loss; he would be the new comic relief, the new balancing force in the tardis. and its like sigh. how laughable to even try to compare the ufcking messy clumsiness that is chibnall's writing, to the show above but like........ my point is, in the nye special (since flux is kinda too sloppy to rlly even poke at omg..oops) its like yeahh sure he serves tht purpose and hes a good character in his own right. but ALSO sighhh. he is sort of... still unnecessary im bc its like- there's something so.... functional about it. certainly he's what the show does need- but also there's other ways of serving those purposes, that would have been so much more enriching? LIKE: i LOOK at yaz, yeah? and... is it literally so insane to try and let HER be funny? is that such an absurd thing to propose? bc you can do that! but it wouldnt be with the immediate obvious quips you can have someone like dan fire out. but equally it would have given her more depth, it would have made the show so much cleaner in how it functions, but ultimately it would have been "harder" to do so- and its like, there's something very lifeless abt the current era of companions. and i think thats... sorta it. theyre all kind of put in for very rigid purposes and then thats it and theyre never allowed to be more than that or for even to be meaningful in the context of the story and its like- its SUCH a shame you know its suchhhh a shame

and my point. oh what was my point. that had me thinking a lot in general abt the way characters like dan exist in stuff (THAT sounds. vaguely pretentious i h*te that) and how characters who kkind of cut tension but also arent wholly. necessary-necessary and im LOOKING at dylan . BC HE DEFINITELY IS NOT THAT, MIGHT I SAY! he isnt- at least not right now- bc as i was saying he does strike a nice balance and i think his perspective is meaningful to the show but also... going forward i do think. like i said, i want more from him but i wonder how the show could go on to do that? its a balancing act. bc also- it probably WILL need to do that at some point as the status quo changes, as i presume it will in the show and as its doing so right now and i DO hope... i DO hope that they manage to do well by him, is all im saying! bc i feel like- i feel like it'd be very easy to use him for the sake of function alone, but... it'd be nice, still, to realise him in other aspects <3

- vaguely related but not so deep. im actually not that fully committed to helly yet! and oh that sounds a little impolite... I DO-I DO LIKE HER I think shes also a characrer though where hmmm. god i am obviously drawn to the horrific fucking nightmare shes clearly living in and she really. does make you realise how fucking fucked it all is- but also... hmm. i feel like that a lot of what we have been getting of her, is that immediate horrified response and whilst i can obviously go fucking bananas for her personality (the tenacity she has and everything) she has thus far existed in that extreme- and thats not a bad thing!! just like a. im sitting on the edge of my seat for her... like think she's going to get SO much better as time goes on, is the thing, and as we get more of her outside self. obviously we cant see that yet but it slike... how do i even say it. i feel like i cant quite explain it well? its like im at the beginnig of something rlly fucking good with her, and im seeing the groundwork laid out and im waiting for the drop first. ino idea if my sentinmence are making sense any more its almost 5am here<3

- similarly theres other characters that i KNOW theyre teasing something soooo good with them but also im vibrating bc it hasnt DROPPED yet fullyh- like cobel, casey and milchick- all have like ushc a fascinating things proposed this far and i would ramble more of them but obviously so much of thmem are ambiguous right now and im screaaaming bc like. i do I DO hope that with cobel in particular, that they give her her depth but also hm.... ive said it a lot, you know, about how i dont like it when "bad guys"'s presumed storylines are that theyre either 1 ) redeemed or 2) they were always justified and had sth awful going on tht made them that way (and certainly thats an oversimplification of the matter) but theres a possibility with her that they could try to sympathise with her in some way and i dont WISH for that i dont!! but i DO want some nuance in there and to see whatever the hell her perspective is and how she is a victim to whats going on whilst still being very much at fault for it... THEN with milcheck im squainting at him in general i feel like theres more to him. and with casey casey casey also unsure of her deal thus far, a thing we will surely see later... but i do hope sheis severed and shes another . interesting perspective bc

- hmmm like- i think tthats actually. LIKE MY GRIPES WITH THE SHOW THUS FAR ARENT LIKE. proper proper fair gripes theyre moreso like "i am ANTICIPATING this in the future" kind of situations and i dont think it'd be tooo fair to speak of them all when the showis still in progress. bc like- in general its like... i dont have BIG, HUGE AHHRGH issues with anything anyways? its moreso little things- certain perspectives and takes and worldbuilding matters that i sort of wish would be touched on more, but i cant tell if theyre like 1) leaving it for later OR 2) theyre going to be left ambiguous in general but by the end it wont feel incomplete as we see other takes OR 3) they really just wont at all and HEY i suppose thats the thing when youre following sth ongoing like this, but OMG i know its goofy googoo but theres a trepidation babygirl sniff sniff BC THUS FAR ITS LIKE- i actually love it so far you know, like thats one thing i do like a lot about the show. certainly it isnt perfect by any means, but they ARE committing to their concept. like it feels like it could be so... lukeworm? LUKEWPRM. SORRY I - TYPO EEPING THAT. but i feel like Fafjipsdfpkosd. IT COULD be so lukewarm is what i was intending to say but they are leaning into it. like i feel like a much lesser show would take this concept but not fully commit to the actual... horrific nature of it, and also not the actual implications of it? of like- what the "innies" would be, and how they would be as their own sort of culture? and theres still room for improvement- but like omgg....

- also also also also. i hate the term innies and outties it makes me think of belly buttons and absolutely i think these terms WOULD pop up, theyre the sort of casual things that people would just say but like i HATE using them but jHELP HELP HELP HLEP theres something that gives me the ick that i dont hold against the show bc theyre right but also i hold it against myself ahhrhg

- i like how marks brother in law whose name i cant hold onto... FIRST OF ALL. i keep merging him with the bloke from ointb. obsessed with the weird brother energy he just radiates. but like- GOD .... the way his shitty book with the dodgy platitudes and all sorts..... its actually so. the way its scoffed at by outie mark (or at least, his sentiments are) but revered by innie mark. like its just so... SORRY cant quite articulate it right now but GOD its like such a fucking fascinating shift in perspective as to how sth like that feels so laughable and kinda. shallow?n perhaps not the right word- but its something so different to us but recontextualised its revolutionary like UH HUH........GOD.

- im also so crazy abt burt and irving. like im not shipper brain rotted but god its just so nice to see two older men developing a relationship and its sincere and its not, like, subtextual its like THERE-THERE, and its stated openly like.... :3 <3 its really moving. happy for them... i am, i am, i am. bc its also like- its also not forced, hell! or like just. incidental.

- erhm waht else<3

- i think i had more thoguths i'll leave it hear now tho LOL kiss kiss

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[halfgap]

.

I’m also obsessed with how this wasn’t just some random opportunity to sacrifice herself, wasn’t some big faceless evil. This was the witch who stained Beau’s entire life, the witch who Beau always believed wasn’t real. Because if the witch was a phony, then Beau’s father was just a gullible asshole who messed Beau up for nothing, & Beau was right to always think destiny was a ridiculous lie. This is why Beau started freaking out back in the Zadash Archive when Jester Scried on & cosplayed the witch. Why Beau shook her head and mumbled, “I was just hoping...” She was still hoping the witch was a sham.

Beau is someone who needs to make sense of things to process them. She turned Molly’s death into a moral lesson for herself, a mantra, “Leave every place better than you found it.” When Caleb first shared his backstory, she tried to tell him he could make a difference with it, that he had to stop Trent from doing it to other kids. She rationalized her parents throwing her away to the monks as the best thing they ever did for her, because it unlocked her potential and brought her to the Mighty Nein.

Having to accept her dad was telling the truth about the witch? That shifts Beau's entire internal narrative. And presents her with an opportunity to make a new one.

There’s a lot of talk abt how much Beau’s offer was an act of self-sabotage/self-destruction and how much was an act of self-sacrifice -- & it’s definitely Both, and it was definitely fueled by lack of self-worth, fear of abandonment, and genuine love for her friends in equal measure. But also, this is also -- in Beau's mind -- the perfect wrap to her story. This will make every shitty thing that's happened to her make sense. She's denied destiny for so long, but maybe here it is staring her in the face. By some twist of fate, the witch who ruined her family also ruined Nott's. And now Beau can save both of those families (not to mention the Nein) -- that's why Beau desperately needed to bargain her dad's deal away too, and why she started talking about Luc and TJ in one breath, why she started even talking about Molly, about everything making sense.

If she can pull this off, she's solved it: her dad's prophecy, Nott's curse, her own misery feeding the witch since the day she was born, watching Molly die and learning from it. She balances all those things out in a neat equation. 

(Twenty-four hours ago, she stepped back into her childhood home a stronger, better, happier person than she ever expected to be... and it wasn’t satisfying in the slightest. Her parents weren’t hideous monsters she could defeat alongside her friends, but they also weren’t any better or kinder than she remembered them being. They were just mediocre people who told her they tried their best & they loved her all along -- “I don’t know whether to feel vindicated, or validated, or what” -- and that just leaves someone like Beau empty, wondering. What the hell was the point of all that? The shitty childhood, the abuse & trauma, the feeling of “I’m never gonna be enough”? Just as she said at the start of the episode, Beau didn’t leave Kamordah crushed. She left feeling better than she thought she’d feel. She left the best version of herself she’s ever been. Still hurt & empty & not enough.)

“I had plans,” Marisha said after the game. Beau had plans. This wasn’t only a dark, self-loathing, cry-for-help act of self-sacrifice & self-harm (but yes, it is that, it is also that). This was Beau making sense of things, telling a story: Having been broken and rejected by her old family, she found healing & acceptance with a new one. Now she had the chance to fix her new family & old family both, by making a bargain with the witch that started everything, that shaped every hurt in Beau’s life & brought her to where she stood today. It was perfect, it’d make everything worth it, it’d make her worth everything.

[goobiegoobert]

FUCKING SCREAMING??

sighs, time to start talking abt him ig hold on

➤ Fucking deranged, i hope you understand this like he absolutely has no real moral compass due to being a creation of the people to be left forever unfinished

➤ Mentioning you feel hurt by someone? He's totally going to take that literally and cause equal to pain you described being put through since the only thing he's grasped as a concept is that karma exists and people deserve equal to or more a punishment for bad behaviour

➤ Doesn't understand the concept of death! You're mortal? That's weird, he's mortal too, right? Oh, you can't get hurt, that's cool you're so similar!

➤ Mister Jpeg doesn't have a real name, they go by the file type he first existed in and rolls with whatever people call him [please give him a nickname or a name- please I am begging you he will sob]

➤ Doesn't process their own emotions, and it often comes off as garbled expressions to the point they'll simply lock themselves back into the Windows 98 backrooms whenever things get overwhelming

➤ Due to being a creature of the web depending on whatever electronic is around they could have shitty service and their motions be delayed or blip in and out of existence whilst preforming late reactions to things around them

➤ NOISES!!! so many noises guys, Jpeg cannot help but let out happy chirps and whirrs since their voice often seems to betray what they actually feel due to it not being part of their script

➤ Speaking of script, every time they speak or interact with their voice they present everything as if you're in a live action gameshow, so certain words like "i love you" and things not normally said within games will not be said, take for example how spamton speaks. No matter what it will be taken in as if everything going on is scripted.

➤ Only times he can disobey the script is when they shift pitches or mimic other people's voices, since technically it's a key feature of his

➤ we can pack so many abandonment issues into this bad boy, he craves for people to stay with him after being told nice things to any drastic measures considering they think it's normal to be possessive and obsessive of the people you care about

➤ also touch starved, please hug this man, and they will actually stall

➤ curious about everything and will be blunt, doesn't sugar coat or find any embarrassment. just is, so do be aware of that

➤ pet names, will call you scrunkly or bingus, he's a walking pop culture amalgamation, expect him to say some rancid and awful shit that take a few seconds to process

Anatomy:

➤ As you can tell he tries their best to act like everyone around them unless a factor of excitement is included!

➤ Their hands are not connected to their arms and can react differently on their own, so expect him to hold the device keeping them physical to their chest and gesture the nub of his wrist out to you as for something to shake on!

➤ Neither male or female, pronouns don't exist and he simply allows people to address them as anything

➤ if you edit their files you can give them amab or afab anatomy if you so desire but their ever existence is fragile, so do be gentle with him!

➤ touching them feels like your skin is being licked by flames and stings if you touch him without warning, but on other notes it feels similar to if you put your hand against an old box tv that was freshly turned off or even in the middle of playing things

➤ Their head isn't really attached to their body and preforms their own little quirks

➤ will spin their head in random directions or simply put their head in your hands to be held or as something more portable

➤ Also!! He has to always be near something eletronic or they cannot exist, so in special occasions people have given them a phone to take with him and explore even if the signal is shitty

@thomas-is-tired give me some info on mr. jpeg and i’ll write a fic /srs