#I take pride in the fact that I started this before that new leaked pic of Will

[greenfiend]

Losing his will

[adrenalineguide]

Storing Your Precious for the Winter and Winter Tire Rebates

Pics and Words By Michael Hozjan

I don’t know about you but while the rest of the world is out getting in the last few days of leaf peeping, I’m in the garage getting my pride and joy set up for the long winter hibernation. And yes it’s never too early as I found out last year with a surprise snowstorm. OUCH that one hurt. (Below)

Whether it’s your old 1949 Ford, 2020 Ferrari or even your lawn mower, the following steps should keep your wheels in tip top shape over the winter months and be ready for that first turn of the ignition key come spring.

The Car Wash

After a long summer on the road getting pelted by acid rain, baked under the scorching sun, spat on with road debris by passing semis, this is the time to give your ride a thorough wash. I like to start off with the undercarriage and wheel wells first. If you don’t have a pressure washer to wash the grime off the underneath take it to the local do-it-yourself hi jet wash.

With the chassis clean I head back to my driveway, that way when the car is washed I can just park it in the garage and start on the mechanical portion. Wash the shiny side by hand with a mild soap specifically made for cars. DO NOT use dish washing soap or other household cleaners as they can strip the wax and promote oxidation.

Note: I NEVER use the car wash’s brush on my car. I learned the hard way decades ago when I used the brush on an Audi hood. There were all kinds of small rocks and road salt in the brush…you guessed it, a paint job for one hood.

Above: Claude (middle) and his crew can often be seen at car shows in Quebec and Ontario putting their detailing expertise to the test.

A couple of years back Claude Sevigny, my paint and finish guru, whose a special events co-coordinator and technical support specialist for Meguiar’s since 1988, showed me that just washing a car down with mild soap isn’t enough. After the wash he uses a clay bar when detailing show cars to get as close to 100% of contaminants off the car’s surface as possible. He follows that up with a good polish and wax.  Remember wax will not bring back the shine, so the time you put in today will pay off in years to come. Come spring all you need is go over the car with some quick detailer and car is ready to go, and we all know how anxious we get in spring to go for that first drive.

There are a slew of videos on the net to show you the proper procedures on how to and what not to do to get your ride sparkling, including how to clay bar.  My personal favorites are on You Tube; simply punch in how to wash your car Meguiars. Yes they are promotions for their products but they are very helpful.

If you don’t have the inclination or time, then take it to your local detailer/ car wash. Claude is also available to handle the job. See his contact info at the bottom.

Fill’er up

While you’re out at the car wash, fill your gas tank with non-ethanol fuel. As a matter of fact if you’ve been using regular or mid-grade gasoline you may want to run a couple of tankfuls of super just to clear the ethanol out to prevent varnish build up in your carb or fuel injectors. As an added precaution I’ll pour in a fuel stabilizer with my last fill up. Yes I do put super into all my gas-powered tools that get stored for the winter.

Oil changes are crucial to the longevity of engines and I’ve been reminded several times by a friend that I do more oil changes than needed. But it’s a small price to pay to keep my big investments in tiptop shape. For those of us who have older rides we know that there are probably some unwanted fluids in our oil pan after a season’s use, be it coolant, gasoline or even fuel vapors in the crankcase. Needless to say anyone of these will corrode internal engine parts over the winter. A clean oil pan full of fresh oil will minimize the chances.

This is also the best time to top off your antifreeze, particularly if your garage isn’t heated. The last thing you want is a cracked block. My buddy, an aerospace worker, pointed out to me something I wasn’t aware of. Aluminum radiators tend to leak prematurely because of the various metals that antifreeze travels through. It’s called galvanic corrosion. The topic came up while I was trying to pry the steel shaft of our X-Trails’ rear wiper loose from some kind of alloy base. So those of you who’ve added aluminum rads to their vintage rides, take a closer look before you store it.

With the mechanicals out of the way let’s turn our attention to the interior. I like to put a thin coat of Vaseline or spray DEEP LUBE around the rubber door and trunk seals as well as the rubber stops under the hood. Matter of fact I do the same to my winter rides – not only does it keep the stored vehicles’ rubber from drying out but it helps keep the rubber from freezing to the metal in ice storms.  

Of Mice and Cars

Mice are a big problem for stored cars. They wreak havoc not only on our interiors but also the wiring. Irish Spring works best to keep rodents away. Leave an open box under the hood, trunk and passenger compartment. I also add a container of DampRid (available at Walmart) to keep moisture to a minimum.

We all know that a dry heated garage is best, sadly my unheated garage has a cement floor that is damp. I’ve gone old school and placed large cardboard boxes under my car. Seems like after our move, every year we end up buying another big-ticket item. Two years ago it was a hot water tank, presto the cardboard box it came in fit perfectly under my car when I cut it open. This year it was a washer dryer set so I’m OK for this winter.

You’re ready to jack your car up to keep the tires from flat spotting. Place the jack stands under the axles/tables to keep the suspension compressed. If you don’t have jack stands inflating the tires to 50 psi will keep them from flat spotting but remember to bring the pressure back in spring.

Lastly you’ll want to keep your battery in tip-top shape. On newer cars, that are especially fussy if the battery is disconnected, a battery tender will keep your battery going and keep all the car’s vitals in check while parked.  If you don’t have a garage or have an older ride, you can remove the battery and bring it in where it won’t freeze. I add a dab of dielectric grease (available at most auto parts stores) to the terminals to keep them from corroding. Call me overly cautious but I also spray some Deep Lube Plus (dielectric lubricant) on my exposed wire connections.

Car covers are a good investment, but not all car covers are the same. Invest in a good, soft breathable cover and whatever you do, never put a tarp over your pride and joy. My Beetle spent thirty years in a garage with about six blankets on it before I rescued it, with minimal amount of rust as a result.

There you have it. If you’ve followed the steps your precious should be safe for the long hibernation and come spring be ready for that first drive in no time.

Winter Tire Rebates

Ok we’ve put baby to bed but let’s now look at your daily winter driver. If it’s time to renew your winter tires or are getting your first set for that new ride, you’re in luck. Hankook Tire of Canada just announced that they are offering a rebate on select sets of winter tires on their Hankook and Laufenn Brands purchased between October 19th, 2020 and November 27th, 2020.

You have to purchase four tires to qualify, but that’s what you should be doing anyway. Be sure to visit their websites for more details. 

Above: The Laufenn LW71L Ice Radial

[bellabooks]

Imagine If They Had Just Made Them Gay: SuperHero Edition

Out of all the numerous movie categories out there, the superhero genre has always struck me as insanely queer. Maybe it’s all the tight, spandex outfits. Or the overly common “outsider / sociality reject” theme that can be found in almost every superhero movie known to man. But, regardless of the reason, most superhero movies tend to be one good, sweaty grappling fight scene away from being dubbed an LGBTQ+ instant classic. So then why aren’t there more queer superhero movies? Simple. Superheroes, by our antiquated societal definition, are supposed to be the epitome of hyper masculinity. They are super muscular, insanely good looking, and always manage to not only save the day, but also win over the affection of the damsel in distress while doing so. And of course, this naturally means, they can’t be associated to anything that remotely goes against those stereotype. Like being female. Or queer… Or, god forbid, being a queer female. Yes, there have been some great strides made over the past few years to fix this general disparity and we are finally starting to see more of an overall variety when it comes to types of superheroes on the big screen *cough* Wonder Woman *cough*, but there’s still a long, long way to go. So, while I sit and wait for Hollywood to finally make my dreams come true and produce a honest to god queer female superhero movie, I pass the time by playing a few rounds of “Imagine If they Had Just Made Them Gay” with some of my all-time favorite superhero movies.   Power Rangers (2017) Now, I know what you’re thinking… Power Rangers? Seriously? Out of all of the one to choose from in the vast lexicon of superhero movies, why Power Rangers? Isn’t it just a cheesy, big-screen version of the painfully bad 90’s kids TV show? Well, three reasons. One, the Power Rangers Movie is actually good… like surprisingly good, in an modern day Breakfast Club, extra angsty sorta way. Don’t believe me? Go on and watch it for yourself. Don’t worry. I can wait… Done watching? Good. Now, let’s continue. Secondly, the Power Rangers is one of the rare examples of an ensemble superhero movie that features more than one female lead. Crazy, right?  But, sadly, it’s the truth. The Avengers? Black Widow. Fantastic Four? Sue Storm. The Justice League? Wonder Woman. You get the point. And lastly, it’s the first superhero movie to feature a queer character. Granted, I use the word “queer” loosely because this is only hinted at in one scene where Trini (aka the Yellow Ranger) gives an indirect “coming out” speech after being asked if her problems were “girl problems.” But, at the same time, though, given her steady wardrobe of flannels and beanies, and faux shaved side of the head hairstyle, little to no verbal confirmation is actually needed. Trini, in short, is one rainbow flag away from a one woman pride parade. So, given all of the above, plus the overwhelming amount of Trini / Kimberly (aka the Pink Ranger) “getting to know you” deleted scenes, why on earth didn’t they just take it one step further and make it a full-fledged queer falling in love story? Absolute head scratcher, right? Well, I still hold out hope for there being one in the next movie (that’s if Lionsgate comes to their senses and finally green lights a sequel), but in the meantime, imagine if Power Rangers went a little something like this… Kimberly Hart. Once head cheerleader and ex-teen royalty of Angel Grove High, falls from grace after leaking a nude pic of her ex-best friend to her then boyfriend. (side note: still have sooo many questions as to why she had this pic to begin with. Is this a straight girl thing? Cause, if not, it so screams gay in a “I have memorized every Tegan and Sara song known to man” sorta way.) After giving herself an impromptu bob in the high school bathroom during Saturday detention, Kimberly happens to stumble upon four other high school social rejects late one night at the local quarry and they proceed to make a life changing discovery in the way of five oddly colored, intergalactic gems. Quickly coming to the realization that they suddenly now all possess superpowers thanks to the mysteriously gems, the group returns to the quarry the next day in an attempt to figure out what the hell is going on. And it’s at that very moment, that Kimberly’s whole life changes… Cue Trini. Angel Grove’s very own death metal loving, yoga practicing, resident pocket-sized queer. She’s feisty, sarcastic, and knows just how to impress a girl with her climbing up the side of a rock face and then leaping over an enormous cavern skills. Unable to hide her gay, Kimberly stumbles her way through a painfully awkward conversation where she tries to turn on the charm and convince Trini to come with them. And when that doesn’t work, she decides to just bite the bullet make a move (literally) but grabbing hold of Trini, throwing them right over the side of a cliff. And so begins the all too familiar “is it or isn’t it a date” montage. It’s all fun and games, until a gold obsessed villain named Rita shows up and decides to pay a late night visit to Trini. Rita proceeds to rough Trini up as a warning to the rest of the rangers and in the process fully ticks off Kimberly. Out for blood, Kimberly convinces the rest of the rangers to go after Rita. But, like most novice superheroes, the are beyond ill prepared and not only do they get their asses handed to them but the run also results in Billy ( aka the Blue Ranger) getting temporarily killed. After a quick regroup back at the ship for a prep talk and a minor supernatural resurrection, the rangers go after Rita once again, this time sporting brand spanking new suits and prehistoric themed vehicles. An epic battle ensues and in a sudden life and death moment, the light bulb finally clicks for both Trini and Kimberly. They want to be together… No, scratch that. They NEED to be together. And right now. With the burst of extra motivation, Kimberly and Trini lead the charge and help the boys send Rita on a one way trip to deep space and then sneak off to celebrate with one another… again… and again… and again…   Hancock (2008) Again, I know what you’re thinking… Power Rangers is one thing, but Hancock?  Not only is it a mediocre movie at best, it’s not even based off of a pre-existing comic franchise. I whole-heartily agree that Hancock has its fair share of problems. For starters, the main one being the casting of Will Smith as Hancock himself. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love Will Smith. There are roles that are just good fits for him and then there are the other ones–the ones like Hancock. And then there’s Jason Bateman. Jason Bateman always plays one type of character and one type of character only… Michael Bluth. And Michael Bluth should never ever exist within a superhero movie. But, looking beyond its problems, Hancock does have something going for it that most superhero movies, more often than not, tend to severely lack–an original and unique story. Hancock’s plot at its core is an unrequited love story. Two superheroes, who are destined to find one another time and time again regardless of the situation, yet the mere presence of one another is so toxic that being together will eventually lead to their deaths. Sound vaguely familiar? Like something you might’ve seen in real life once or twice? That’s because this plot could also double as a description for roughly 65% of all queer relationships. Who hasn’t had a friend (or ten) break up with the same girl time and time again only to get back together with her a few months later because “they can’t help themselves”? So, given that it’s plot is insanely queer to begin with, imagine if Hancock went something like this… (Sidenote: My photoshop skills are good, but not THAT good. So, every time you see Will Smith, just imagine an amazing actress instead… Like Samira Wiley) Hancock, a rough around the edges queer superhero, is known for two things. Protecting the citizens of greater Los Angeles from a wide array of criminal activity and creating an insane amount of collateral damage while doing so. In short, Hancock has a MAJOR perception problem. But does she care? Chalk it up to years of being dubbed an “outsider” or a superhuman sized chip on her shoulder, but Hancock just doesn’t seem to care what anyone thinks about her. She’s a superhero and that means show up, kick some ass, and save the day. End of story. There’s just no need for anything (or anyone) else. But, then one day, Hancock’s world is turned upside down when she happens to save the life of a lovable but super generic PR specialist named Ray. Beyond grateful, Ray makes it his personal mission, not only to befriend Hancock, but also to help her turn her public image around. New clothes. New attitude. And of course, new social circles. Hancock begrudging goes along with it all, including agreeing to attend a family dinner, where she happens to discover that Ray’s wife Mary looks oddly familiar. And suddenly… BAM! Hancock finds herself inexplicably drawn to Mary. She simply can’t get enough of the woman and needs to be around her 24/7. Mary, though, wants nothing to do with Hancock. She’s not only strangely standoffish, but seems to make up an excuse to leave the room whenever Hancock appears. Dying to win Mary over, Hancock attempts to learn more about her and in the process discovers that Mary, in fact, is a superhero as well. But before Hancock can confront Mary on this unique shared similarity, Mary falls deathly ill and is hospitalized. No one seems to know what the problem is and to make matters worse, Hancock is affected as well, but only when she’s in proximity to Mary. Hancock is pushed to the brink of insanity while trying to unearth what is causing Mary’s illness. Unable to handle her feelings, she goes on a crime-fighting bender and after being hit on the head by a flying piece of debris, suddenly remembers who exactly Mary is. Mary is Hancock’s eternal soulmate and, in a cruel twist of fate, also her ultimate kryptonite. Lifetime after lifetime, they are destined to find one another, only to inadvertently poison each other to death by their mere presence. Not wanting to put Mary through anymore unnecessary pain and suffering, Hancock decides that the only sane and logical thing to do is for her to disappear forever and live out the rest of her life in utter isolation. She goes to see Mary one last time to say her goodbyes, but for she can carry out her plan, Mary stops her. Thanks to modern technology, there’s a way they can be together and yet be apart at all at the same time… So, what do you think?  What other superhero movies do you think would be better if they had just made it gay? http://dlvr.it/PjNdz1