#I switched to mostly text cause my handwriting is terrible
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My instinct is to apologize for not posting for *checks notes* nearly three weeks, but I did say I haven't drawn regularly in like three years,,, ty for ur patience
#clangen#clan generator#shrikeclanold#warrior cats#art#Rookrump#Juncokit#Goldkit#Oriolekit#Torque#Is giving someone a gift while you have redcough flirting or a poorly planned assassination attempt#I switched to mostly text cause my handwriting is terrible
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MocaTsugu! They’re gay and they kiss!
Big thanks to the artist who draws really good trans girl Bandoris and sold me on concepts such as MocaTsugu, everyone x Misaki, or Kaoru as top. They deleted most of their art from pixiv, though, and while they’re still active on Twitter I don’t really feel comfortable linking when I don’t know why they deleted everything. Why am I even mentioning this? First of all art is good and gay art of trans girls is good. Also, if you’re a decent internet detective you now have enough information to find them anyway. Please be nice
Also Moca is trans
Word count: 4.4k-ish
Rating: Lots of kissing and some references to, uh, physiological responses to arousal. And paper work. I did give it a T on AO3, though.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16142222
Tsugumi filled the student council office with the clacking of the calculator’s keys. “Estimated expenses… hmm… Why so many tennis rackets?”
The numbers on the sheet checked out, barely legible as they were, so Tsugumi added it to the pile. Almost done now. Stretching her arms, Tsugumi looked around the empty room bathed in the orange of sunset. Usually this light made her feel connected to her friends, who were no doubt seeing the same vista, but the atmosphere in her school, this late, let loneliness win. She wasn’t going to call or text anyone, though, when it would just drag out her work.
Tsugumi checked the final few forms. If she hurried… well, she didn’t really have anything to do until practice. Was there a point in hurrying? Her friends would probably tell her to slow down, but Tsugumi liked working hard, especially when her job and its results were clear. She would surely find something else to do with the left-over time. Tsugumi’s experience had taught her those trying to keep busy would always find something, anything.
She blinked the exhaustion out of her eyes and went back at it. The drama club… That would probably take a while. As the star of the school’s clubs it needed a significant budget and of course the school would have to order the equipment and the club often tried to leverage its status and popularity by asking for the… not impossible per se, but certainly troublesome. Despite this, Tsugumi smiled. Maya would get some new toys to play with and her excitement frequently proved infectious.
A knock on the door startled Tsugumi out of her work rhythm. Before she could answer, Moca entered. Classic Moca. Strange for her to be at school this late, actually, as a member of the go-home club.
“I could hear you being tsugurific all the way outside.” Moca crossed her arms. “Still working?”
“Yeah, but I’m almost done.” Goodbye loneliness. If she could have picked a single one of her friends to suddenly show up, it was definitely Moca. She didn’t get as upset with Tsugumi’s workaholic tendencies, and she carried with her a relaxing aura. When they were alone her jokes also kinda became funnier? Or at least less mean. Why just her, though? Tomoe and Himari had shifts at their part-time job, but Ran not accompanying Moca was unusual. Moca liked to boast about their inseparable bond. “You’re on your own?”
“Ran realized she’d run out of guitar strings. Because I pointed it out.” Moca shook her head. “Where would everyone be without me?”
Tsugumi giggled. “But you didn’t go with her?”
“Mmh, Ran is almost an adult now. Girl’s gotta spread her wings a little. Ah, how time flies. But back to you, Tsugu. Whatcha doin’?”
“I’m just double-checking these forms before filing them away.”
Moca glanced at the sheet in front of Tsugumi. “Club expenses? Taking care of that isn’t your job, is it?”
Tsugumi forced a laugh. “Not quite… I don’t have to double-check, but if there is a mistake it will cause everyone a lot of trouble, so...”
“Found a mistake yet?”
“No….”
“Tsugu~” Moca’s voice took a sterner tone and she, well, ‘scowl’ was a strong word. Mildly disappointed mom face, maybe? “Aren’t you just burying yourself in busywork?”
“That’s not… Um… It’s very important and….”
“Someone else’s responsibility.”
Tsugumi couldn’t keep up the strained smile anymore. Nail hit on the head. “Y-yeah…”
“We keep telling you to take care of yourself and rest more, don’t we?”
“You do….”
“We’re not saying that to be mean. Well, I’m not, ‘cause I’m an angel, maybe Ran wants to be mean.”
“N-no! I, I know, but I… If I don’t do some kind of work I get restless and… and a little anxious and… think about stuff….”
Moca leaned forward and pulled Tsugumi in a pretty lax hug. Doubly lax because Tsugumi was sitting and Moca was not. “Tsugu, what kinda stuff?”
Tsugumi gripped Moca’s shirt almost out of reflex. “It’s just… Everyone… You’re all so good at… and I’m… I’m not, so…”
“Tsugu. Even if you can’t make yourself believe it, you are good. You are more than good enough. You don’t need to push yourself so hard. Your cute Moca guarantees it. We are all proud of you. Like for real. Pat yourself on the back for once. Ah, but listen to me getting all sappy, huh.”
“M-Moca….” Her eyes stinging, Tsugumi pulled Moca closer and sniffled. Hugging Moca was always a special occasion because of how rarely it happened, so Tsugumi tried to hold on tight to kind of… convince her not let go?
Moca stroked Tsugumi’s hair. “There, there.”
Tsugumi took in Moca’s warmth and trust and the faint smell of fresh bread that clung to her so often. It was comfort, it was home. It was Moca. Tsugumi wiped her eyes, mostly for show. “Thanks, Moca.”
“Well now,” Moca said, “this position is not the best, so if you could…”
Tsugumi immediately let go. “Sorry!!”
Moca stood upright and stretched her back a little. Perhaps with some theatrics. “So, how much until you’re done?” Sitting down next to Tsugumi, Moca absentmindedly stuck her hands in her pockets before realizing she was still wearing her school uniform with its pocketless skirt. She tried to play it off by patting her lap. Tsugumi pretended she hadn’t noticed.
“That’s… Three left.”
“Hmm. I can’t be of much use with that, but,” Moca shot Tsugumi a mischievous glance, “you could also not do it.”
Tsugumi giggled. “Now that I’m almost done and you’re here with me, I think I can finish it in record time!”
“There you go, being all tsugurific again.” Moca smiled and patted Tsugumi’s back. She paused for a moment, then switched to rubbing it. “I’ll be your support~”
Tsugumi did the remaining calculations, added a note for clarification (what terrible handwriting, she’d have to ask them to take more care), only slightly confused by Moca’s fingers occasionally running over the back strap of her bra, and filed away form after form in the shelf to her right. Moca did or said weird things regularly, so Tsugumi didn’t think much of it. Tsugumi stretched her arms one final time, a ritual to signal a finished job, and turned to Moca. “All done! Thank you so much, Moca!”
“No problem! What did I do again?”
Tsugumi smiled. Goofball. “You always have my back! ...Sometimes literally. We still have some time until we have to get to the studio, do you wanna go somewhere?”
Moca tapped Tsugumi’s now empty seat. “Let’s rest a little after all this hard work.”
“Sure!” Tsugumi sat back down and took a sip of water from the bottle she carried around in her bag. “Want some?”
Moca nodded and took an honestly probably rude number of sips before returning the bottle. It felt silly for Tsugumi not to drink a little more after that, so she went with the flow.
“Gotta stay hydrated!” Tsugumi stuck the bottle in her bag and nodded at Moca, whose eyes kind of…. fixated on hers. Moca seemed to catch herself and ruffled Tsugumi’s hair. “Wh-what’s wrong, Moca?” Unusually quiet, Moca… wait, was she blushing? “Did you want more water?”
“No, I was just thinking that…” Moca scratched her head and shrugged. “You know….” Nervous Moca? Even rarer than hugging Moca. “We still have some time and you’re… we’re….” Moca rubbed her forehead. Her mouth did some weird gymnastics like she couldn’t decide on an expression to make. “I know a great way to relax.”
“Y-yeah?” Was it something complicated that made Moca sound so uncertain? Was Moca, the confident Moca, not confident in what she was suggesting? She seemed frustrated with herself. In that case, Tsugumi knew what to do. She turned all the way to face Moca. “I’m all ears!”
Moca gazed in Tsugumi’s eyes and, totally blushing for real, grabbed the keys from her desk and locked the door. “It’d be embarrassing if someone suddenly walked in, so.�� Leaving the keys in the lock, she got back to her seat and added, “if you don’t want to, we’ll just go for a walk outside or whatever.”
Yeah, but… “Wh-what is it? This… secret relaxation technique?” If Moca was offering a massage, it really would be embarrassing to be seen by someone else. Particularly if Moca asked Tsugumi to take off her shirt. A massage, though… She’d never expected Moca to be the type. As far as surprises went, Tsugumi had no complaints at all. But Moca probably had a weak grip with how calm she always was? Or maybe not! Who could tell, maybe she also took it seriously like how she took the guitar seriously. Tsugumi hoped for that one. Devil-may-care Moca looking all focused on something had an undeniable appeal.
Moca took hold of Tsugumi’s left hand, and looked up at her. The glint in her eyes, like they were doing something forbidden, made Tsugumi shiver, but not in a bad way. “Tsugu, we’ll keep this a secret between us, okay?”
“O-okay…” Tsugumi swallowed. Massage, please! Please? It had to be something special for Moca to get so… quiet? Well, not quiet so much as she seemed to study Tsugumi’s reaction very closely and always waited for her to reply. Kinda like in some of her favorite shoujo manga where everyone wasn’t so violent (?) about kissing.
…Hang on.
Moca’s gaze met Tsugumi’s. Her hand moved to Tsugumi’s shoulder and steadied her, which Tsugumi appreciated with how the atmosphere in the room, and Moca’s usually cool eyes turning a warm shade of orange in the sunset, flustered her. Moca’s face came closer, millimeter by millimeter. She glanced down at Tsugumi’s mouth. “Tsugu…” Tsugumi could feel the breath on her lips. “Is it…” Moca made eye contact again. “Is it okay…?” The hand on Tsugumi’s shoulder slid upward, along Tsugumi’s neck, and stopped at her jaw.
“M-Moca…” Tsugumi blinked rapidly. Where had this come from? Was Moca in love with her? Since when? She hadn’t noticed anything. Which, to be fair, is what she would have expected from Moca. Not expecting it. Immensely flattering, though. She felt her face flush. “Y-you mean… you…?”
Moca forced a shy (??) grin. “I did ditch my best friend to be with you.” She lowered her gaze. “I don’t want to… to ruin… you know, like I said, if you don’t want to we can just forget this ever happened and….”
Tsugumi gripped Moca’s hand tighter and with her other hand cupped Moca’s cheek, mirroring hers. She tried to flash Moca a confident smile, because Tsugumi instinctively needed to support her friends when they were wavering. Half a second later she allowed herself to realize what she also needed, or at least wanted so much it felt like needing, was for Moca to keep going.
“Tsugu…” So close now, Tsugumi could all but feel Moca’s lips as she spoke. “Close your eyes?” Tsugumi did. She waited, her heart pounding, lips tightening. A faint tickle, then Moca’s lips were truly, undoubtedly on hers. The feeling of someone’s, of Moca’s hot lips. The strong grip – so she had a strong grip! – on Tsugumi’s hand. Moca’s thumb gently stroking Tsugumi’s cheek. Again, unexpected.
Tsugumi inhaled sharply, more surprise than anything, and Moca immediately backed off. Tsugumi’s eyes shot open to gauge Moca’s reaction as she covered her mouth. Moca also waited for a response. “W-was it bad?” Moca asked.
The tingling echoed in Tsugumi’s lips. So different from anything else she’d ever felt, yet weirdly similar to the feeling of soda sparkling on her lips? But what it was definitely not was bad. She took Moca’s hand. “Moca, you know, I, I really love your confidence.” Tsugumi smiled. “And I’m not sure how it felt… so… well….”
A familiar grin returned to Moca’s face. As fascinating as nervous (?) Moca was, Tsugumi definitely preferred Moca like this. “Looks like your cute Moca has to get tsugurific for once.”
Her cute Moca. A soft twinge in Tsugumi’s chest. “What does that even mean?”
“This.” Moca kissed her, briefly and all smiles. When their eyes met again the smiles slowly faded. Tsugumi shut her eyes. Moca’s lips returned, but this time they stayed like this for a moment. They parted slightly and closed, and a little breath escaped Tsugumi. Her chest felt tight, but comfortingly. “Good?”
“Y-yeah… It’s like… It’s good…”
“Mmh, of course you can’t think straight when you’re kissing me.”
“I, I love when –” Moca continued, a bit more forcefully. Her hand on Tsugumi’s nape, Moca pulled her closer. Her fingers crawled up the back of Tsugumi’s head, tickling her all the way. As their lips relaxed and they experimented with what felt best (everything??), Tsugumi couldn’t help but sigh, almost moan, with contentment. Moca had found the right amount of forcefulness where Tsugumi both felt safe but also so incredibly excited like she was about to burst. She giggled at the thought that she was cookie dough in Moca’s hands. Then Moca, just barely, licked her lips.
Tsugumi grabbed onto Moca. She returned the lick, because she couldn’t bear the thought of Moca stopping out of concern. And Moca did not stop. While Tsugumi held onto Moca’s arms and shoulders and enjoyed the hint of muscle she could feel through the uniform, Moca seemed to be testing what she could get away with – everything. One hand on Tsugumi’s thigh and the other gently nudging her mouth open, Moca sucked on and licked Tsugumi’s lips, carefully at first and slowly getting rougher, almost painful but in the way that made Tsugumi crave more. Like a massage, funnily enough.
Tsugumi lowered her head, kind of leaning on Moca’s collarbone, and caught her breath. She couldn’t form any coherent thoughts. Just a fuzzy white in her mind.
Moca had left a trail of spit on her chin and while Tsugumi would have loved to lick it off rather than waste it, her tongue couldn’t reach and her thumb had to do. Was kissing always this… messy? Or were they just bad at it? Next to Tsugumi’s ear, Moca tried to calm her breath as well. Focusing on Moca, however, did not help Tsugumi come down from her high at all.
Tsugumi pushed Moca against the back of her seat, moved over to straddle her and sat down on Moca’s lap. “Can we do more?” As Moca gazed up at her, maybe a little surprised, Tsugumi wiped away a pearl of sweat from Moca’s forehead. The gaze quickly became too much for Tsugumi, though, and she embraced Moca tightly to get her face out of Moca’s field of vision. She nuzzled up Moca’s neck. The smell of fresh bread, with a bit of peach mixed in.
“Tsugu… look at me?” Tsugumi didn’t dare, so when she didn’t look Moca’s hand unceremoniously landed on Tsugumi’s boob. Tsugumi gasped. “Tsugu, I’m a coward,” Moca half-whispered. “I always brush everything off with a joke, and when I can’t do that I run away. I’ve been trying to get better about it, because you’re there. You always push us to be our best selves and I love that about you. So much. But the other reason I joke around is… it’s because I want your smile. It makes me forget to breathe, did you know that? And not just your smile. …Also,” Tsugumi could hear the grin in Moca’s voice now, “that time when we got locked in at school… I thought you were real cool taking charge like that. Nothing seems all that bad when you’re with me.”
“M-Moca, I…. Thank you, I, I had no idea…. But… I don’t know if now is the best time, when… your hand….”
Chuckling, Moca squeezed Tsugumi’s chest lightly. Tsugumi almost squealed. “Well, you’re not looking at me right now. I told you I’m a coward.” Good point, but the logical consequence? If Tsugumi wanted Moca to be her best self, then… Tsugumi gathered all her mischievous energy and kissed Moca’s neck. Moca’s quick breathing sounded muffled like she was covering her mouth unsuccessfully. Tsugumi kissed harder, her teeth grazing Moca’s skin. “Tsugu, that’s…!”
“Good?” Tsugumi straightened her back and stared into Moca’s big and now surprisingly dark eyes. “I thought you were really cool too, back then. Helping us all stay together. And always, really. I know that even when you joke around I can rely on you.”
“Tsugu, you’re….” Moca rubbed the spot Tsugumi had kissed and snorted. Did she want to take the lead again? Something about it was adorable. That kiss clearly had an effect on her, but she wanted to take care of Tsugumi. Or protect her pride? Also cute.
Moca smiled up at her and pulled Tsugumi down so her butt rested firmly on Moca’s thighs, like to make the space between them both disappear. She adjusted a strand of Tsugumi’s hair, kissed two of her fingers and pressed them on Tsugumi’s lips. In return Tsugumi planted a quiet kiss on Moca’s forehead.
Tsugumi felt she had to break the silence. She wanted to be honest with her feelings so Moca could be, too. “M-Moca, when you touched me it was… it was hot. I, I mean, my body felt so hot! And wh-when we were kissing too…. I, I really like it.”
“Did I awaken Tsugu the kissing demon~?” Moca grinned. She paused for a long moment. “Tsugu, it was… amazing when you kissed me too…. I want to kiss you more.”
Tsugumi barely stopped herself from calling Moca a good girl. This time Tsugumi had the height advantage, so she covered Moca’s eyes with one hand and kissed her. Moca’s arms wrapped around her so tight Tsugumi almost couldn’t breathe. Tsugumi carefully went from licking Moca’s lips on the outside to licking them from inside, where Moca reciprocated equally as gently. With her fingers Tsugumi played with Moca’s earlobe, so painfully red, while Moca’s hands wandered. Tsugumi licked the spit off Moca’s lower lip and Moca did the same to her before they, with a smile, continued getting them wet again. Moca’s hand found its way to Tsugumi’s chest once more, where it not even squeezed but just held Tsugumi’s boob with a firm grip. Her other hand slid down Tsugumi’s waist, under her skirt, which made Tsugumi gasp in surprise, and landed on as much of Tsugumi’s bare butt as it could find or make accessible. There as well Moca merely held her, as if to secure her body. The sensations Moca’s touches caused all over her body took over her mind.
It was becoming so much, too much probably, even if it all was good. Tears formed in Tsugumi’s eyes, just from everything going on. They had to stop or Moca would notice the tears and think she’d hurt Tsugumi. As unsubtly as possible, because Tsugumi couldn’t move subtly right now, Tsugumi laid her head on Moca’s shoulder. Seeing the little red mark she’d left on Moca’s neck, she gave it a lick. Moca let go of Tsugumi’s boob and instead held her head in place, which Tsugumi understood as an invitation to kiss Moca more, so of course she did. Panting, Moca squirmed under her until something warm and strangely hard pushed up against Tsugumi’s panties. Moca’s… W-wait!!
Tsugumi jumped back out of reflex, so uncontrolled she only half made it back to her seat and almost hit her back against the desk. “U-umm, Moca, I, I think that’s… a little too fast and… and we’re just… umm…!!”
Moca covered her crotch. Her crestfallen frown stung Tsugumi’s heart. “N-no, no, Tsugu, that’s… I didn’t mean…” Moca swore under her breath. And she never outright swore in front of Tsugumi.
“O-oh… O-of course! Y-yeah! It’s a natural reaction!”
“Y-yeah…!”
As Tsugumi climbed onto her seat, she noticed something else. She rubbed her thighs together. Yeah, no doubt, a wet stain on her panties. She adjusted them, again not subtly. “U-um… m-me too….”
“We must be naturals… haha….”
Tsugumi couldn’t laugh. They were best friends, and just today they had found out about each other’s feelings and kissed so much and… Sure, a moment ago Tsugumi had been shocked, but… what if… What if she hadn’t stopped? She almost wished she hadn’t. And it wasn’t too late yet. Tsugumi didn’t even know what… how… exactly this was supposed to go, but right now what she wanted, desired even, was to take off Moca’s skirt and… touch Moca and….
This wasn’t okay. She couldn’t, not on the same day. Not even the same week! Or month! That wasn’t how you were supposed to do that. At school, no less! The student council office! Where everyone worked so hard for the sake of the school! And they almost…!
This time the tears formed quicker.
“Tsugu?!” Moca, with her mouth hanging open like she didn’t know what to say, looked so hurt it made the drops heavier.
“M-Moca… I, I’m sorry, I… W-we’re not even going out o-officially, but I… I want to… keep going…. I’m so….”
“Tsugu. We’re not going further than this today, okay? Promise. Pinkie swear. But I also… I want to do it. With you. That’s not strange. Or bad. Not even a little. Like, of course we’d want to do that. Even if we’re not gonna.” She sounded so certain again. Moca embraced Tsugumi and planted the softest kiss of the day on her cheek. “It’s fine. Even if we did it now, it would be fine. We’d need protection, yeah, and doing it at school is kind of punk, but you’re not bad for wanting it. And I’m incredibly flattered, just so you know.”
“Th-thanks… Moca… I really… You’re really important to me.”
“Same here, Tsugu.” Her head on Moca’s shoulder, Tsugumi found her calm again. For a moment they both disappeared into the hug. Tsugumi wished they had more time. She sighed. Tsugumi really did love Moca. “Oh.” Moca pulled back. “How late is it…?”
“OH NO!!!” Tsugumi checked her phone. They should have left eight minutes ago. They were gonna be so late! But if they hurried… maybe…but they’d had to leave right away.
“Ah, text from Tomochin. ‘Got held up at work, practice half an hour later.’” Tsugumi had the same message on her phone. They both breathed so much relief. But it said they’d received it five minutes ago and neither of them had noticed…. “Work’s a pain for them too, huh. Guess we still have some time.” Moca grinned with mischief. “Tsugu~ have you had enough of Moca’s lips for today~?”
“U-um, no, but… I’m not sure I could face the others… well, even now.”
“Good point. Especially if we hold hands on the way.” The silliest smile crept up on Tsugumi’s face. “Tsugu, we are going out now, got it?”
“Y-yeah!!”
“And technically, we’ve known each other for like ten years, so we weren’t moving that fast.”
Tsugumi giggled. “That’s true.”
“Wait, I don’t think we should count when you were still trying to feed me mud cakes.”
Good times. “Sorry… So from elementary school on?”
“Nah, that’s still kinda weird. We were so young back then. Let’s say from when you got hot.”
“H-hot…? When was that…”
“That’s a secret.”
“Moca, you bully….”
“That’s okay, she may be a bully, but Moca treats her girlfriend right.”
Despite everything they’d done today, Tsugumi’s head felt like it was on fire, from this. Moca’s girlfriend. “Th-thank you, m-me too….”
Moca kissed Tsugumi’s cheek. “I’m a lucky girl.”
Tsugumi’s sneakily grabbed Moca’s hand. “A-and now that we have more time… could you hold me really tight again? J-just holding!”
“Correction, I’m the luckiest girl.”
“And that one time I really messed up at practice and I told everyone it was because you were making faces… A-Actually, you were looking at me for a second and I saw your profile in this light and I… I thought you were… kinda… hot….” Tsugumi squeezed Moca’s hand as they walked across the street.
“It’s fine, we all know I’m a knockout, Tsugu~”
“Thanks for playing along….”
“Well, I don’t know if they bought it.”
“E-eh? …But that reminds me… should we keep it a secret from the others?”
“No,” Moca said like there was not question at all.
“Oh.”
“It’d be a pain to hide and we couldn’t flirt in front of everyone. Also, we got that childhood friend bonus with them.”
“That’s true. But I’m not sure about flirting….”
Tsugumi and Moca almost literally bumped into Ran in front of the studio. She looked them up and down with surprising curiosity.
“I’m guessing it went well?”
“A-ah, y-yes?” Tsugumi uttered. Moca simply nodded smugly. Was Ran in on this? Had they planned this together or was it just that obvious? Not that Tsugumi would ask. She had the feeling this could turn out embarrassing for at least one third of the girls here.
Ran’s eyes had a gentle light to them. “Good. I’m happy for you, Tsugu.”
“Thanks!”
“Hey, what about me!” Moca pouted dramatically.
Ran smirked at her. “Fair, you did end up with the nicer girl.”
“Ran, I can’t believe you’d betray me like this.”
“Just so you know, if you ever get in a fight I’ll take Tsugu’s side, 100%.”
Moca scoffed. “I was having such a good day, Ran~”
Ran smiled at Tsugumi. “Moca’s kind of a dumbass –”
“Rude?”
“– but she’s a good friend. Take care of her, will you?”
“Of course!” Kind of a strange thing to say considering the three of them were best friends, but it probably counted as Ran’s blessing.
“Oh, and did Moca tell you how many nights she kept me up to talk about how she’s got the hots for you.”
Tsugumi almost dropped her bag. “E-eh??”
“Ran, dissing me in front of my girlfriend? That’s so low!”
“I’m not dissing you, it’s kinda cute, even if I’d rather slept.”
The three of them paused to let the big word sink in. Girlfriend.
Moca and Tsugumi were totally girlfriends now.
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Who We Are (4/?)
Author: @wordsintimeandspace Pairing: fem!Ten/Rose (AU) Summary: When her 18th birthday and with that the appearance of her soulmark approaches, Rose is sure that it will only confirm Jimmy Stone as her soulmate. The realization that it’s not him turns her life upside down, especially when she meets Jane Smith, also known as the Doctor, only a few weeks later. Rating: Teen Words: ~3600 Notes: Beta’ed by @asmilelikestarlight, thanks dear!
Read this and previous chapters on AO3 or tumblr.
Rose woke early the next morning.
Muted light fell through the curtains covering the windows, illuminating the unfamiliar room just enough for Rose to make out her surroundings. Jane’s living room. Rose let out a sigh, plopping back down onto the couch when she realized where she was and the events of the past night caught up on her. A dull headache was left behind her temples. She still felt exhausted and emotionally drained, but it wasn’t the kind of tiredness that sleep could fix. And although it had been late when Rose had finally settled down for the night, she couldn’t fall back asleep.
Instead, Rose raked a hand through her hair and stared at the ceiling as she contemplated how much her life had changed, not only in the past day, but gradually in the past weeks. The thing she had been scared of most - breaking off with Jimmy and admitting to herself that all of this had been a terrible mistake - had become reality. But for the first time since all this started, the constant dread and fear were gone. She didn’t need Jimmy in her life, and that realization made her feel lighter than she had in weeks.
Still, there was a lot that needed to be done before she could leave this part of her life behind for good. First of all, figuring out where she could stay. There was no way she could share a flat with Jimmy any longer. Just the thought made her feel sick. Her job at Henrik’s didn’t pay well enough to afford a flat on her own, not in London, and she couldn’t stay on Jane’s couch forever, no matter how much she wanted to. There was only one obvious solution.
Groaning, Rose reached for her mobile on the coffee table. She checked the time, making sure that it wasn’t too early to call, and scrolled through her contacts. Her finger trembled as she hovered over her mum’s number for a while, gathering the courage she needed. She finally pressed the button, taking a deep breath as the phone rang. It was time to come home.
~~~
After the call, Rose stumbled into the bathroom, freshening up as well as she could. She changed back into her clothes, wiped the smudged mascara off her face and gathered her tousled hair in a messy ponytail. This would have to do for now.
When she left the bathroom, she heard clattering from the kitchen. Jane was standing at the stove, cursing under her breath as she tried to get eggs into the pan and bread into the toaster at the same time.
Rose stopped in the doorway for a moment, letting her gaze sweep over her. Her eyes lingered for a second on Jane’s bare legs. She was still in sleep clothes, dressed in shorts and an oversized shirt. Affection and gratitude bloomed in Rose’s chest. She wasn’t sure what she would have done without Jane in the past night. She already owed her so much - and now Jane was even making breakfast for her.
“Can I help you?” she asked and Jane whirled around. She grinned at Rose when their eyes met.
“Good morning! And, uh… yes please.” She gestured toward the toaster while she turned back to her eggs. Rose giggled as she got two slices of bread out of the package and put them into the toaster.
“You’re up early,” she commented.
“Yes, couldn’t sleep any more. Heard you were awake so I thought I might as well start on breakfast.”
“Good idea. I’m starving,” Rose said, filling the kettle with water and switching it on. Jane reached up to get two mugs out of the cupboard, handing them over to Rose.
“Nearly done. Can you make a bit of space at the table?”
Rose chuckled when she spotted the mess on the kitchen table. It was covered by books and papers, exactly like the living room. Curious to see what this was about, Rose gathered a few sheets in her hands and frowned at the equations scribbled down in messy handwriting.
“Astrophysics?” she asked, reading the title from one of the books. “Wow. Sounds complicated.”
“Yep! I’m getting my doctorate. That’s where that nickname comes from.”
“The Doctor?” Rose repeated, remembering the moment when Jane had introduced herself for the first time.
“That’s me,” Jane grinned, loading eggs and toast onto their plates. Rose quickly gathered the books from the table and moved them to the window sill. She sat down in front of a filled plate, her stomach rumbling.
“So, astrophysics…” Rose started again after the first bite of toast. “That’s impressive.”
“Well, I am impressive,” Jane said with a wink. “But really, it’s mostly just fun.”
“Doesn’t look like much fun,” Rose said warily, eyeing a sheet with equations that was still forgotten on the table. “I don’t think I understand any of that.”
“Well, that’s just the theory behind it. The real fun is the field work! Watching stars and supernovas and black holes, witnessing all the wonders of this universe.” Jane’s eyes lit up. “It’s amazing how much we can see from this tiny little rock, given the right telescope. Maybe I can show you someday, if you’d like.”
Rose couldn’t miss the hopeful tone in Jane’s voice at the last part. It wasn’t just a simple question; it held so much more about their future. She gave Jane a soft smile.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” she said and Jane smiled back, a bit shyly. “Still not sure I’ll get all the stuff you’re working on.”
“Oh, but I’m sure you’re brilliant!”
Rose grimaced, taking a sip of her tea before she continued.
“Dunno about that. I’m working in a shop.”
“Don’t put yourself down like that,” Jane said, frowning. “And I had the impression you liked that job.”
“I do, in general,” Rose started, “but I’m not sure if I want to keep doing that. I took that job because I needed money to pay for rent after I moved in with Jimmy, but now… maybe I can think about something else to do. Something more than just selling clothes to people, you know? Not that it’s bad, just can’t see myself doing that for the rest of my life.”
Jane smiled at her. “Sounds good, if that’s what you want.”
Rose shrugged. “I just don’t know what I want to do instead.” She sighed, running a hand over her face. “I have no idea what’s going to happen in my life now. This was all a bit sudden. I can move back in with my mum, but apart from that I have nothing figured out.“
Jane reached for her hand, hesitating for a moment. But when Rose didn’t pull back Jane entangled their fingers together and gave Rose’s hand a squeeze. “You’ve got all the time in the world to figure things out. It’ll be okay, I promise.”
Rose looked down at their linked hands, letting out a long breath. With Jane’s hand in hers and her voice in her ear, low and reassuring, all the anxiety drained out of her. In that moment, she sincerely believed Jane was right: it was going to be okay. She blinked, tears brimming in her eyes.
“I mean it,” Jane said again, giving her hand another squeeze. “We can get your stuff out of your flat today and then you’ll never have to see that idiot again. Then you’re free to do whatever you want in your life. A whole universe, right at your fingertips, waiting for you to explore.”
Rose laughed, wiping away her tears. “You’re daft.”
Jane only grinned, a besotted smile on her lips. “Oh, but you love it, don’t you? See, you’re smiling.”
“Yeah, I do,” Rose admitted, watching with delight how Jane’s cheeks flushed at her response. She took a deep breath, trying to steer her thoughts back to what needed to be done. “And yes, getting my things today sounds like a good idea. I just want to be done with this as soon as possible.”
“All right! We can do that.” Jane tilted her head, thinking. “D’you think Jimmy will cause any trouble if he’s there?”
“Dunno. He might,” Rose sighed. “I don’t really trust him at the moment.”
Jane frowned. “I can text a friend and ask if he can help us. Might be good to have someone a bit more intimidating with us, just in case.”
Rose nodded. The thought that she wouldn’t have to face Jimmy alone calmed her immediately. Jane gave her one last smile and they finished their breakfast, the conversation quickly turning to lighter topics. Jane called her friend afterwards while Rose did the dishes, and it didn’t take long until the doorbell rang.
Jack Harkness, Rose decided as soon as he entered the flat, didn’t look intimidating at all. Quite the contrary. Charming and confident were the first two words that came to her mind.
He barged into the flat as soon as Jane opened the door, all teeth and smiles. “Hello Doctor,” he exclaimed.
“Hey,” Jane said in greeting before Jack pulled her into a quick hug.
Then his gaze fell on her. Rose barely had time to notice the alarm on Jane’s face before he was at her side.
“Jack Harkness,” he said, his voice deep and rumbling. He gave Rose a cheeky smile. “And who are you?”
“Stop it,” Jane growled somewhere behind them.
“I’m just saying hello.”
“You’re not. You’re flirting.”
“I can’t help it. There’s a beautiful woman in your apartment, Jane. A mysterious stranger whose name I still don’t know.”
He winked at Rose, making her blush.
“Rose, I’m Rose,” she finally managed to say, smiling. “Nice to meet you.”
“It’s a pleasure,” Jack said, shaking her hand. Jane groaned.
“I didn’t ask you over for a flirt,” she complained, scowling at Jack. “Rose and I could need some help getting her stuff out of her ex-boyfriend’s flat. I told you that. You know, that ex-boyfriend she broke up with just yesterday. Not the time, Harkness.”
Jack had the decency to look at least a little bit abashed. “Oh, right. Sorry,” he said, giving Rose his best puppy-dog eyes. Rose couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s fine,” she said and Jack relaxed. He turned towards Jane with a grin.
“I thought you just wanted her all for yourself,” he teased.
To their amusement, Jane turned a rather dark shade of pink. “I- that’s not… I’m-” Jane spluttered before taking a deep breath. “We don’t have time for this,” she quickly said with a roll of her eyes, rushing into the corridor. “Let me just get the car keys and get going.”
Jack shot Rose a look, a knowing smile on his lips. Her cheeks grew hot under his gaze, but neither of them said a word. They probably didn’t need to.
~~~
They pulled up to Rose’s and Jimmy’s flat not long after. Rose sucked in a shuddering breath, looking up towards the windows. There was no light, no movement. No answer to the question if she would have to see Jimmy one last time. She gulped, nervously fiddling with the key in her pocket.
“Ready to do this?” Jane asked quietly from the driver’s seat. Rose nodded.
“Yes. As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”
Heart beating hard against her ribs, Rose walked up the stairs, the other two following behind her. She hesitated for a second in front of the door before sliding the key into the lock.
It was dark in the flat, the curtains still drawn over the windows, casting shadows into the hallway. The flat felt strange and foreign. This wasn’t home anymore.
Holding her breath, Rose walked over the threshold. There was a noise coming from the living room, crushing her hopes that Jimmy wouldn’t be home. She tensed, listening to the footsteps coming closer.
“Oh, look who’s coming back,” Jimmy said, rounding the corner with a sly smile on his face. But he froze when he caught sight of Jane and Jack, the smile dissolving into a frown.
“I’m not coming back,” Rose said, her voice cool. “I’m just here to pick up my stuff.”
Jimmy let out a huff. “Come on, you can’t be serious,” he complained. “Don’t make a fuss about this.”
Rose clenched her hands into fists, irritation boiling in her veins. “I made my decision and that’s it.”
Deciding it was best to ignore Jimmy completely, she strode past him towards the bedroom. She pulled out a large suitcase that was tucked away in one corner before opening the wardrobe, letting her gaze wander over all the clothes. Hoodies, jeans, a couple of T-shirts. She didn’t have much in her possession and in this moment she was glad. Packing up would be quick.
“Let’s just talk about this first,” Jimmy protested, his voice shaking with anger as he followed her into the bedroom. “You don’t have to move out immediately.”
“You heard her,” Jane growled behind them. Both Rose and Jimmy looked back at her in surprise. She lingered in the doorway with Jack at her side, her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at Jimmy. “She’s moving out and that’s it.”
“And who are you two?” Jimmy snarled. His gaze flickered from Jane to Jack and his expression darkened.
“Oh, I see how it is. That’s your bloody soulmate, eh? That guy?” He nodded towards Jack. “What happened to ‘I’m not seeing him’?”
Rose froze, unable to bring the truth over her lips. Blood rushed in her ears and she helplessly looked towards Jane and Jack, who looked as stunned as she felt. Jack opened his mouth to protest. But then his eyes flickered from Jane to Rose and back and understanding crossing his features. He closed his mouth with a click before he could say a word.
Jimmy didn’t catch on to the truth. He turned towards Rose, anger radiating off him in waves.
“I can’t believe it,” Jimmy continued, raising his voice. “You lying bitch.”
He made a quick step towards Rose and she backed away from him, the infuriated expression on his face making her heart race. Behind them, Jane tried to rush forward, her face screwed up in anger, but Jack grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back. Jane was tall, Rose had to admit, but she was skinny and didn’t look like she’d have a chance against Jimmy if things turned pear-shaped. But Jack was different.
He strode forward, all this charm replaced by determination and ruthlessness, and grabbed Jimmy’s arm before he could take another step in her direction. Jimmy howled in pain as Jack twisted his arm on his back and roughly pulled him away from Rose.
“What the-” Jimmy started, but he didn’t get to finish his sentence.
“You will not call her names like that,” Jack hissed. “Do you understand?”
“Get off me!” Jimmy protested. He yelped when Jack tightened his grip on him.
“I asked if you understand.”
“Yes, fuck. I won’t do it again. Just let me go.”
Jack pulled back, just slightly.
“Good. And you will not come near her again. Unless she asks you to, of course. But I highly doubt that she will. So you’re gonna give her some space now-” Jack pulled Jimmy towards the door, allowing no protests. “So she can pack up her stuff. Are we clear?��
Jane rushed at Rose’s side as she watched in stunned silence how Jack ushered Jimmy out of the room. Rose let out the breath she was holding when he was finally out of sight. She heard Jimmy throwing a string of insults at Jack, but then he yelped again before he was silent.
“Jack used to be in the military,” Jane explained. “Some kind of secret government organization. Comes in handy in situations like this. You all right?”
Rose nodded slowly.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
She looked down at her trembling hands, taking a deep breath. Jane reached out for her, giving her hand a quick, reassuring squeeze.
Rose turned back towards the wardrobe, gulping down the lump in her throat.
“Right,” she said with determination. “Let’s get this over with.”
With Jane’s help, it didn’t take long to pack up her stuff. Clothes, toiletries, a few books, a couple of mugs that she was fond of. All her belongings fitted into the large suitcase and two bags. Jimmy was sulking in the background, carefully guarded by Jack. He glared at her whenever Rose crossed his line of vision, but he didn’t dare to speak up again.
They quickly finished up and loaded the luggage into the car. Rose threw her key into the letterbox and sank down on the passenger seat, watching in relief how the house disappeared in the rear view mirror. She was more than ready to leave this part of her life behind.
“Back to your mum?” Jane asked quietly and Rose nodded. She guided Jane through the streets of London, leaving the centre behind as they headed towards the Powell Estate. Soon, she recognized the familiar concrete buildings and Rose couldn’t help but smile. In a way, she had missed this view.
Jane parked in front of the building and together they carried her luggage upstairs. In front of the flat Rose took a deep breath, but the door opened before she could ring the bell.
“Rose!”
A second later Rose was enveloped into a tight hug from Jackie Tyler. Rose wrapped her arms around her, burying her head in her shoulder.
“Oh, it’s so good to see you. I missed you so much,” Jackie said, swinging Rose gently from one side to the other. Tears brimmed in Rose’s eyes.
“I missed you too mum,” she said, her voice breaking at the end of the sentence. It had been a long time since she’d hugged her mum like this. Ever since Rose had started going out with Jimmy, things had been tense between them. Jackie hadn’t approved of him, and now Rose wished she had listened to her a lot earlier. Especially in the last few weeks they had barely seen each other. Rose hadn’t realized how much she had missed her mother until she was in her arms. Jackie hugged her tight, as if all the arguments of the past months hadn’t happened, and Rose couldn’t hold back her tears.
“I’m sorry,” she managed to say, but Jackie shushed her before she could say anything else.
“Oh, none of that, sweetheart. I’m just happy you’re home,” Jackie said. She pulled back slightly to look Rose in the eye, making sure she was all right. “And I’m glad you finally got rid of that wanker.”
Rose laughed through her tears, pulling out of the embrace. She wiped her cheeks as she listened to Jackie ranting about Jimmy bloody Stone and smiled. Everything was how it used to be, and she wouldn’t want it any other way.
~~~
Jane and Jack helped to get her luggage inside. Despite Jackie’s insistence that they should stay for tea they decided to leave, giving Rose and Jackie time to catch up. Rose felt her mother’s gaze on her as they said goodbye, could already feel all the questions that only waited to spill out of Jackie’s mouth. Her friends turned to leave, heading towards the staircase, and a rush of panic surged through Rose as she watched them disappear. This was going too fast. There were so many things that still needed to be said before they went apart.
“Jane!” she yelled before the other girl could vanish into the staircase. Jane stopped, turning around to her in confusion, and Rose broke out into a run to catch up with her.
“Wait. I was just…” Rose trailed off, not quite sure how to say the things she needed to get off her chest.
“Yes?” Jane prompted, a small smile on her lips.
“I was wondering what’s going to happen now,” Rose finally admitted, nervously picking at her nails. “You know. Between us.”
Jane’s chest heaved as she took a long breath. “I- I just want to say, I meant the things I said yesterday,” she started. “You don’t owe me anything. You’re in no way obligated to keep me in your life, not because of the soulmarks, and not because I helped you out last night. It’s your decision.”
“But if I want you in my life?”
Jane’s eyes widened before her lips curled into a soft smile.
“I’d like that,” she said, reaching for Rose’s hand.
Rose smiled, entangling her fingers with hers and looking down at their linked hands. It just felt natural, to have Jane’s hand in hers. It was a perfect fit.
“I still mean what I said yesterday as well,” Rose said quietly. “That I’m just so confused right now. I don’t know what to feel. I’m gonna need a bit of time, but I like you. So we can- can we be friends?”
“Rose Tyler,” Jane started, the soft tone in her voice making Rose look up. Her heart stumbled in her chest as she took in Jane’s sparkling eyes and the wide smile on her lips. “There’s nothing else I’d rather be.”
Grinning, Jane threw her arms around Rose and Rose hugged her back, laughing. They stayed like that for a long moment, far longer than usual for ‘just friends’, Rose thought while her heart skipped a beat. She enjoyed the closeness, Jane’s warm body pressed against hers, her breath on her neck, Jane’s scent in her nose. She wanted to stay like that forever, but then Jane reluctantly pulled back.
“I’ll see you then,” Jane finally said, her cheeks flushed, and turned to leave.
“Not if I see you first,” Rose replied, giving her a tongue-touched grin. Jane walked away, a bounce in her steps, and flashed Rose one last smile over her shoulder before heading down the stairs.
#ficandchips#femandchips#fem!Doctor x Rose#fem!Doctor#my fic#fic: who we are#posting this in the afternoon#because I'm doing home office today *cough*
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