#I swear to fucking gods I am so sick of this goddamn internet and the goddamn corporates and basically everything now

[eyrieofsynapses]

I'm going to echo everyone in the notes here, though I suspect given the corporate/higher-up-nonsense-sounding tone nobody's going to be listening to us anyway: most of this will destroy Tumblr. No ifs, ands, or buts. It's a certainty. Adding an algorithm and taking away the self-curation removes everything attractive about Tumblr.

I'm gonna be honest: I wonder if the higher-ups have simply gotten tired of running this website and trying to wring money out of it, and decided to kill it intentionally, because this is basically looking at every other FAILING social media service and saying, "Great! What made them fail? Go implement that!" It's like staff saw a bunch of people jumping off a bridge and ran after them to do the same. Seriously. It's baffling.

As everyone else is saying, the ability to self-curate and the privacy of Tumblr is the only reason we're here. I HAVE no other social media (although I'm eyeing Mastodon right now). None. Nothing. Just this, because it's the only place I've found that isn't an endless doomscroll of bullshit or wringing every bit of my personal details out of me to sell to corporates and whoever bids highest.

And by the way? The ability to step away from Tumblr after your supposed 25 posts (which sounds like a statistically bullshitted number tbh, because most people I know go through WAY more--are you looking at only active users, or the entire userbase including dead/infrequent users?) is A GOOD THING. In case you haven't noticed, people are realizing doomscrolling is a problem. They're trying to find sites that AREN'T traps like Twitter. They won't delete their Tumblr account out of desperation to disconnect, because if they can do so naturally already, it isn't an issue! This is an attraction and a way to keep users long-term, not a problem! It is a FEATURE, not a bug, dammit!

And allowing non-users to see blogs is what DRAWS PEOPLE HERE. That is how you get people to see someone and go "ooh, I want to know when they update, I'll make an account." Do you really think people are going to join when they don't know what they're signing up for? Do you really? Because I don't think you do, and if you do, then you know precisely nothing about how people work.

Yes, the search function needs an overhaul. Yes, it needs to be easier to go back through reply threads. Yes, finding ways to connect people to smaller creators might be helpful. Not all of these points are wrong. But the suggested method of improving them is, frankly, the worst way to fix those features short of deleting them entirely.

If you do this? You add the algorithm, you remove the self-curation aspect, you start keeping non-users from viewing posts, you pester me with unwanted notifications and emails (as though my email isn't overflowing with spam to begin with), you try to make it more like every other fucking "popular" (read: will die in the next year or two) social media site? I. Will. Leave. I'll cry while I leave, yeah, but I'll leave. So will the rest of your old userbase.

And it turns out that that userbase is what makes all the good content that draws people here to begin with. They buy your merch and the non-ads, they fund the site, they get people to join, they put out the posts that get thousands of notes, and THEY BOOST YOUNGER BLOGS by reblogging THEIR content. Old users know what it's like to start small, and they promote newbies who deserve it BY REBLOGGING. That is how Tumblr works.

Guess what? The sites that burn brightest die fastest. "Popular" is short for "short-lived," especially now. Ever notice how trends go in and out? Yeah, social media is like that too. Tumblr is small and slower in comparison to everyone else. That's why it has lasted this long, and how it's avoided mass infestations of Nazis and their ilk. If you want it to stick around longer, keep it unique, keep it niche, and keep it out of the hands of the biggest audiences, because they will tear it to shreds.

I have so very little hope you'll listen. Nobody else does anymore, not even those that started small--not Discord, not Reddit, not Instagram, sure as fuck not Twitter. I suppose I'll have to start looking at the meagre alternatives already. Clearly, somebody up the ladder wants this site to die the same slow, horrible death everything else is.

But please. Prove me wrong. Prove me fucking wrong. I want to see it. Do what's actually best for your users, and be better than all those other motherfuckers who have lost sight of everything but dollar signs.

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[gothamusing]

DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE (2024) PART ONE. a collection of memes derived from the deadpool and wolverine movie, for roleplaying purposes. feel free to edit as you see fit. do not steal. (18+).

i’m sorry, i’m just excited to be here.

it's been a while.

for a long time, i wasn’t sure i’d ever be back.

you think i want to be out here in beautiful downtown north dakota, digging up the one and only (blank)?

the fate of my entire world is at stake.

he may not be living his best life, but he sure as hell ain’t dead.

my world is fucked!

i’m much calmer now.

look, i’m not a man of science, but you seem incredibly passed away.

it’s good to see ya.

i gotta be honest, i’ve always wanted to ride with you.

i could really use your help right now.

wait! i’m warning you! i’m not alone!

throw out your weapons and come out peacefully.

i’m not gonna give you my weapons! but i promise not to use them.

there are 206 bones in the human body. 207 if i’m watching gossip girl.

i am soaking wet right now.

to be clear, i’m not proud of any of this.

i can’t believe i’m finally here. i’ve waited for this moment for so long.

i know i was caught smashturbating in the lobby of stark tower.

i want to be an avenger.

what’s your superpower? is it parallel parking?

the problem might be that you’re reaching a little too high. aim for the middle and you’ll never miss. right?

i want to hit shake shack. rejection makes me hungry.

you know, you can answer the question without swearing.

i don’t have kids. not that i haven’t dreamt of that.

i don’t have a lot of vaginal sex.

i’m just saying, once a month, we could go on a little mission.

after all, we're deadpool.

well, if we’re gonna have a midlife crisis, go big.

you guys are lucky i’m not armed.

did you you sell any dreamcatchers on etsy or whatever it is that you do?

you trying to kill me, motherfucker?

i’m not the one dousing everything in salt, motherfucker.

i pray every day that fire finds your body and finishes the job god didn’t have the nuts to do.

thanks for coming.

bitch, are you improv-ing?

i’m sorry that you had to see that.

pegging isn’t new for me, friendo.

i’ve never been a natural bottom. so we’re going to take things real slow, and i want some crazy eye contact.

i don't like you.

holy fuck, that is a shit ton of exposition for a three-quel.

you are no longer lost. you can be a hero among the heroes.

what is that? is that me? is that thor? is he crying?

eyes on me.

i smell what you’re stepping in.

i am... marvel jesus.

snug, no camel toe, new car smell, and adamantium katanas, you shouldn’t have.

his clothes say middle management, but his eyes say fucky fucky.

i’m more of a one-week-on, one-week-off kind of guy. i think it’s what they do in denmark. you’ll never see a danish flag in the moon, but… god damn it, they’re happy. 

come again, this time in my ears?

you’ve just won the lottery because i didn’t die.

it’s just a little midlife crisis, i'm better now.

yeah, i got it. you can turn your retro graphics of death off now.

you’re gonna old yeller my fucking universe?

ow, my own fucking arm.

you sick fuck!

wolverine was a hero and the only thing worth a shit to ever come out of canada.

get my country’s name out of your fucking mouth. and my sword.

cue the fucking montage, baby.

now we’re talking. ooh, yeah. that’s the whole goddamn package right there.

it’s not you. we’re just going in a different direction.

i told you, you’re not welcome here.

just give me one more drink and then i’ll leave.

you two gonna fuck or fight?

i can tell you that sort of "don’t get too close, i’ll only break your heart" vibe going here.

unless you want to take a deep breath through your fucking forehead, i suggest you reconsider.

look at those jammies. that only took 20 fucking years.

this wolverine let down his entire world.

he’s the stuff of legend, but not in a good way.

what he did… well, some things are just beyond forgiveness.

what are you, the internet?

your world is dying.

is the thought of vaporizing my universe making you peckish?

i'm eating my feelings.

i’m about to lose everything that i’ve ever cared about.

holy shit. i just heard a symphony of butt holes clenching all at once.

where the fuck did he go?

don’t just stand there, you ape. give me a hand up.

is that what you said when your world went to shit?

yeah, i heard all about you. you screwed up everything, and you should be thanking me for pulling you out of that bed you shit in.

are you ready to be calm now?

i don’t want to fight you, peanut.

doesn’t matter what you did. i just need your help.

i don't fucking care.

let’s give the people what they came for.

fair warning, gorgeous. you’re going to encounter some indelicate language. a smidge of ass play, but we’ve been prohibited from using cocaine on camera.

you can’t run. everybody knows that.

you see anyone running, dick for brains?

you’re not gonna love what happens next.

shoot the double and take him down. side control, then full mount and you ground and pound, until he makes no sound because he’s dead.

shut the fuck up.

i'm a huge fan.

i’m so sorry. i know it’s pronounced him. i’m gender blind. it’s my cross to bear.

how long was i asleep?

not all of you was asleep.

fuck! you nicked it. just got the tip with your little steak knife.

you wanna chime in, your majesty? i’m dying here.

you picked the wrong time to make new friends.

i have never said any of those words in my entire life!

you stupid piece of shit, you just got him fucking killed!

hey, we're all grieving.

oh, honey, you don’t really strike me as a world-saving type.

we could be truly terrifying together.

i love it here.

i don’t have any beef with you. i just want to save my friends. i just, i wanna go home.

your fingers are inside me, but not in a good way.

i've got you.

i know you’re going through something. let me go through it with you.

your crazy matches my crazy.

just say it, okay? say, "i don’t want you, i don’t want to be with you".

you'll never fucking matter.

you are so mean.

this is baby knife, she’s gonna fuck you in the face now.

get the fuck off of me.

get your mind out of my pants.

poor kid, he's like 50!

what are you looking for?

you don’t wanna drink that.

wanna talk about what’s haunting you or should we wait for a third act flashback?

go fuck yourself.

fuck the avengers.

i know you’re hurt.

i identify as a feminist.

are those gold-plated, 50 caliber desert eagle pistoleros?

careful where you put your hand, she’s 90% g-spot, and she’ll let you know it.

it costs nothing to be kind.

shutting the fuck up is also free.

i can lend you my ride if you like.

this isn’t a car. this is a honda fucking odyssey. throttle response sucks a cock. dated infotainment system. when honda saw that untreated chlamydia was making a comeback, they invented the honda odyssey to compete.

get in the fucking car.

what's with the suit?

the x-men make you wear it? those sons of bitches.

they are not your friends, i’ll tell you that.

watch your frown lines, angel baby.

i’m just trying to bond a little bit.

you lied to me. you don’t have a fucking clue if they can help me fix things, do you?

i didn't lie! i made an educated wish!

if we don’t do something, they die.

my entire world is right here in this picture.

[justauthoring]

even after it all.

Request: I’m such a slut for Until Dawn, so you’re crazy if you think I won’t jump on the opportunity to get more Until Dawn stuff and from my favorite fanfic writer. I’d love a Josh Washington fic where the reader (his gf) finds out that he’s been behind everything and goes out with Chris and Mike to the shed to stand up for him because she knows they’ll be hard on him and she knows he just needs help and better meds. Thank you!

Requested by: @itsfangirlmendes​

Pairing: Josh Washington x Reader Word Count: 2,019 Please don’t plagiarize my work!

Surely, you were imagining this...

right?

You eye both Chris and Ashley, who are both still tied to the chairs, to Mike and Sam who both work quickly to untie the former’s. But you can see the looks on their faces. The anger on Ashley and Mike’s, the absolute disgust and dismay, and the complete confusion on Sam and Chris’ face. An expression, unlike the others, you mimic because you’re just as confused. Maybe even more so.

You’re positive you are just dreaming. Or someone was playing some sort of prank on you. Because... this? Josh being the one behind all of this? It... This can’t be real.

“Josh...”

Your call for him isn’t heard over the yells of the others. Nor is it heard over the maniacal laughing that pours from Josh’s lips as he circles around, pacing on his feet aimlessly with the brightest smile upon his lips you’re sure you’ve ever seen in a long time. And it hurts, because since his sisters, you’ve never left his side, never once abandoned him or made him feel guilty about needing his support. You were just there for him, whenever he needed you. And you’d tried to make him smile like that, like he used to, for months, but nothing ever worked.

Except, apparently, this.

“Oh, oh, very good!” He applauds, circling past you. You find yourself slipping to the back, unable to believe the sight before you. And honestly, it doesn’t even really hurt you that Josh doesn’t acknowledge your presence. “Every one of you. Got my name! And after all you’ve been through. Good-good-good-good! I mean how does that feel?”

You catch Mike’s gaze, your own distraught, tearful gaze meeting his harsh, frustrated expression. You want to defend Josh, but you can’t. Not in this scenario. So as you look at Mike, you can’t blame him for being so angry, only managing to avoid his gaze you glance down at your feet, your hand falling to your cheek where -- who you’d originally thought was the psycho -- had hit you.

“Right? How does it feel? Do you enjoy feeling terrorized? Humiliated? I mean, panicked? All those emotions that my sisters got to feel a year ago! Only guess what? They didn’t get to laugh it off? No! Nope! No! No! They’re gone!”

“I don’t know if you noticed this,” Mike speaks up for the first time, gesturing around himself. “Josh, but none of us are laughing.”

“Oh come! Come-come-come-come! Why the long faces? Come on!” 

Your heart sinks, entire body tensing when Josh makes his way over to you. You don’t have the heart or strength to shrug away from him as he pulls you close, wrapping his arm tightly around like he always has but this time, it feels different. For obvious reasons why. And your heart both hurts and pounds madly against your chest in fear. Which feels so incredibly wrong because he’s your boyfriend and you shouldn’t be afraid of him.

“It’s good to get the heart racing every now and then, right?” You cringe, trying to pull away as he pulls you closer, eyes twisting shut. “And race they did, I mean, every one of you, just pitter-pat, pitter-pat! I hope you appreciated my little phantasmagorical spectacle! I mean, no detail too small. No opportunity missed. It was such a delight to play the puppet master to all your Pavlovian panic! And all that gore? I mean, gore, there was gore-galore! Fake bodies... I mean, god that shit was expensive. And no retakes. Nope. Nope. Only double takes. You should’ve seen your faces.

“Hook line and sinker, for every little stinker!”

“Josh,” Sam calls, desperate, “why are you doing this?”

“Don’t even ask this squirrelly little runt. He’s got no clue. He’s out of his fucking tree.” You blink when Mike makes his way over to you and Josh, slipping his hand gently around your arm and pulling you from Josh’s grasp. You notice the look of distraught and surprise on Josh’s face but don’t do anything about it, glad to be out of his grasp. “I mean, you hit your own fucking girlfriend. What the fuck, man.”

You meet Josh’s eyes, and you know he’s eyeing the bruised spot on your cheek.

“Well, he’s definitely off his meds.” Chris concludes.

“Aw, come on, you guys,” Josh calls, as if surprised by your none-too-impressed response. “Revenge is the best medicine.”

But I didn’t even prank Hannah. I... I tried to stop them. I tried to help her...

“You’re done!” Mike demands, shaking his head.

“Mike,” you call softly, shaking your head. “He’s sick.”

“What?” Josh mumbles, “come on, you guys are all gonna thank me when you become internet sensations!”

“Wa-Wait, what?”

“Oh you better believe this is little puppy going viral ladies and germs.” Josh exclaims, an excited glint to his eyes. “I mean... we got, we got unrequited love. We got... we got blood! I don’t think there’s enough hard drives in China to-to count all the views we’re gonna get, you guys.”

“What are you talking about, you ass-hat?” Mike demands. “Jessica is FUCKING DEAD!”

Maybe it’s wrong of you, maybe it’s biased, especially after all he’s done, but as you glance over at Josh, something tells you he’s genuinely surprised. Genuinely upset. That what Mike just said, he hadn’t had any part of it.

“What?”

“Did you hear him?” Mike asks, circling around the table to quickly make his way over to Josh. Jessica is dead and you are gonna fucking pay you dick!”

-

“You only see what you wanna see. You’re blind!”

With great reluctance, you’d managed to convince Chris and Mike to let you come with them to tie Josh up. They tried to convince you to stay back with the other girls, that it would be safer for you. But, even after all he done, to you and the others, you still cared for Josh. And you weren’t about to just leave him. Not now, when he was clearly so sick.

“Stop talking!” 

You wince as Mike shoves Josh to the ground, pulling unceremoniously on his tied wrists and he presses him against the snowy ground. “You are-- argh!”

“Dude--” Chris calls out.

“It’s not my fault you suckers can’t take a joke.”

“That wasn’t a joke, Josh,” you mumble, thought you’re not sure if he even really hears you.

Mike presses his knee into Josh’s back, eliciting a small yelp from the latter’s lips. “Oh, did I hurt you?” Mike taunts, still pointing the gun at his head. “Did you just... did you feel a little bit of pain? Right now? I am so... so, so sorry!”

“Stop it!”

Rushing forward, you grab Mike by the arm, pulling. It only knocks him back a little bit, and he turns to stare at you in disbelief. “Y/N, what are--”

“I understand you’re mad and hurt but... just please,” you whisper, “stop.”

“Y/N, he killed Jessica,” Mike explains, eyes lighting with anger at the memory. You frown as he explains, your chest twisting in guilt though you’re not exactly sure why. You didn’t do anything. You weren’t at fault. But yet, you still felt guilty. And even more so, you still felt the need to defend your boyfriend. “I mean, he fucking punching you in the face. Aren’t you mad?”

“Of course I am,” you explain, shaking your head as you scarcely avoid Josh’s gaze. “Just... just tie him up and stop. Please.”

You step back and Mike’s eyes wander on you for a moment longer before complying, standing up to help pull Josh against the nearest poll. Of course, Josh decides to speak. “Michael... man, i’m sorry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that something happened to Jessica but I swear, I swear to you I have no idea what happened to her...”

“Josh?” Chris calls, “be honest with me. Do you expect us to trust you for a single goddamn second after all the shit you put us through?”

Letting out a low chuckle, Josh head rolls as he mumbles out; “can’t we all just get along?”

-

Mike tried to convince you to go back with Chris. But, like before, you refused.

So, now, here you were, sat in front of Josh, not really sure what to say. Mike was stood by the entrance of the cabin, keeping his distance out of respect but you could feel his eyes wander over to you every few minutes just to make sure you were okay even if Josh’s hands were tied. You didn’t blame his mistrust of Josh, and part of you would like to say that Josh would never hurt you but after everything that’s happened... you weren’t so sure anymore.

He already had, first off. But Josh was also so far gone that you’ve never seen him this bad before. It was a sight you’ve never wanted to see either. And a sight you’d worked so hard to help prevent. All those months, those long nights you’d spent with him, trying to make him better. You wouldn’t change anything and you’d do it all again, you just thought... you thought if he’d gotten this bad he would come to you.

Instead of... this.

“Y/N.” Eyes falling shut at the sound of Josh’s voice, you hesitate on glancing up at him, heart pounding madly against your chest. “Y/N/N.”

Blinking, you glance up at him with a huff, shaking your head. “What, Josh?”

“Are you mad at me?”

You pause for a moment, wondering if he’d really just asked that. But then you take in the dazed expression on his face, the distant look in his eyes, and all you’ve heard. Standing there and listening as he made fun of his own best friend, teased him about Ashley after all he’d forced Chris and her to endure. Or to talk about Jessica like that, not only in front of you, but to Mike when she was... dead.

He was so clearly gone, you knew he didn’t really understand the severity of what he was doing.

Because the Josh you knew, the one you’d fallen in love with, wasn’t like this. And he never would’ve done this to his own friends if he was in the right state of mind.

That, you knew.

“No,” you sigh, “no, Josh, i’m not mad.”

He frowns, eyes drooping. “You look mad.”

Inhaling deeply, you let your head drop, the tip of your head resting on his forehead. “What have you done, Josh?” You whisper, voice faint, raspy. “You went too far.”

Josh doesn’t say anything. And after a moment, you dare to glance up at him, finding that he hadn’t looked away from you and instead, was just frowning down at you. The sight of it breaks your heart, even if you feel like it shouldn’t. You felt conflicted, stuck, because he’d done so many horrible things and said some too, but yet, as you looked at him; this broken-hearted, out-of-his-mind boy that you loved, your heart broke for him.

“It’ll be okay, Josh.” You soothe softly, even if you know it won’t. “We’ll figure it out.”

He nods and his lips part to speak, but the sound of a shrill scream echoes. It causes you to jump to your feet, spinning round to face Mike who quickly makes his way over to you. 

“What was that?”

“I don’t know,” Mike shakes his head. “It sounded like it came from the lodge.”

You eye Mike, frowning.

“We’ve gotta to check on everyone.”

Glancing back at Josh, you shake your head. “I can’t leave him.”

“Y/N--”

“You go,” you encourage, nodding at him. “I’ll be okay.”

Mike hesitates, his eyes narrowing in concern as he shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Y/N. It’s not safe for you--”

“I’ll be fine,” you assure, cutting him off as you send him a sharp look. “I just can’t leave him, Mike. I’m sorry.”

Frowning, Mike’s shoulders fall. “Even after all he’s done?”

Glancing back at Josh, you sigh, shoulders falling.

“Even after all he’s done.”

-

Let me know what you thought?

[nokas-meme-den]

Shit heard in Ghost Stories meme

"When this bitch kicks, I'm moving to Vegas."

"Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?"

"I don't care about your cat, he's probably dead."

"Principals always look like lesbians."

"When a stronger spirit appears, the weaker spirit cowers. But all evil spirits cower before Jesus!"

"Oh my, what a gifted seamstress. I hope you're not a homosexual."

"If you want something to happen, you just need to pray! And not be a Muslim. Or Jewish."

"What the fizzityuck was that?"

"Where's the damn cat?"

"These pajamas are gay."

"Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you come to the scary, isolated pay phone on the bad side of town, alone?"

"Maybe you have a hidden talent you don't know about! Like Paris Hilton being an actress! Oh, scratch that."

"THINK OF A BIG BLACK MAN CHASING YOU!"

"A car accident... must have been hit by an old Chinamen. I don't mean to be racist, but those people CANNOT drive."

"You'd be surprised just how many transgressions a filthy little sinner like you can rack up in just a day."

"Look, a little Jew boy."

"Come rub my nipples."

"Drop the Krispy Kreme, Serpiko! We need your help here!"

"My BS detector is going DING!"

"I can read. Not well, but I can read. And those letters... are BACKWARDS!"

"The weird part is, I'm not even high. Not a bit. Totally sober!"

"The internet was a blessing from the Lord Jesus to spread the word of God throughout the world, but then Muslims and pedophiles stole it and used it to lure out and seduce children like you."

"Hey, want some candy little boy?"

"You can use it if you promise not to be on the phone too long. I know how you Pagans take advantage of others."

"A bunch of somber, quiet people against a red nuclear sky near a river of blood. Wow, that doesn't look threatening at all."

"Why? Because Jewish people rock!"

"That's so sweet... in a 'you scare the crap out of me in an Emily Rose' kind of way!"

"Here, you can take pooky-poo. He used to be my man, but we broke up."

"The V on my sweater stands for 'Very Big Deal', but that's beside the point."

"Come on, jump... I SAID JUMP!"

"Yes, the animal cemetery. Hear the plot point bells going off?"

"I hope Stephen King never sees this."

"She's looking straight at us, I don't think we hid very well."

"Those 3 to 4 cardboard boxes aren't going to hold them for long!"

"Lord reveal your salvation, for I am your favorite among these heathens."

"Yo sensei Dave, what's haps on the snaps with the craps?"

"You two-timing son of a bitch! Who's gonna take care of these little bastards!?"

"Oh splinter ohhhhh!"

"Shut up. You're here, and you're an idiot."

"Years ago, people went in there but they didn't come out. Not unlike your sister."

"2.2 Celsius... Metric system. Who thought this was a good idea again? I'm just gonna put 100. No one's gonna know."

"Oh perfect, it's in Japanese. Ching chong nong ding tow! Wait, that's Chinese."

"God, can you go bomb an abortion clinic or something?"

"Creepy Japanese men can be cabbies too y'know. But women should never be allowed to drive."

"Obeying horror movie rules, I'm going to go out alone. You stay here while I go look for help."

"I'm not giving you a reach around."

"You're such a bitch."

"First we do a geographic montage to show we traveled a long way from your house. There, that should be enough."

"I'm gonna beat you retarded."

"Jesus saved my ass."

"And what a lovely little ass it is, too."

"¡NO CORRAN EN EL HOSPITAL, CABRONES!"

"Now that is some really nice animation."

"Nice rack. Mind if I make 'em a little bigger? Ahahaehehahhha boobies. Loooove boobies. Nice lips too. I USED TO HAVE LIPS!"

"Lunchtime BJ?"

"Let's see... purple, for your hair. Can't tell this was a goddamn anime."

"Okay. Stop trying to look up my skirt. IT'S A CARTOON!"

"Holy time machine, Batman, it's 1973!"

"Holy pre-Parkinson's Michael J Fox Christopher Lloyd Back To The Future plot ripoff device! Where's my DeLorean?"

"I'll grab her ass!"

"Oh damn anime, look what's happened to my eyes."

"Leo! Leo! Leo! Leo! Goddamnit! Goddamnit! Goddamnit! Goddamnit!"

"It's the chick from The Ring! I mean, The Grudge! What movie are we ripping off again?"

"Oh my god, did that spell work? You know, like the one where you write your name in an eraser? I hear the head cheerleader's having an abortion."

"Such a bitch! Stop being such a friggin' skank and give it back!"

"Sometimes yes means no!"

"Moshi moshi! I mean, hello."

"Tomomi? Ain't no Tomomi girl living here, so what?"

"Get your cracker ass into some rehab, I ain't got time for this bullshit."

"MOTHAFUCKA."

"Run! She's a ghost and a bitch!"

"I'm goin' fuckin' crazy."

"HEY! Maybe if they paid their fuckin' phone bill, you could call again!"

"Nobody's talking to you. Just drive the bus, bus driver. Fuckin' nosy."

"Oh, sorry. All you little yellow people look alike to me. And African Americans, but not the Mexicans. Why do you think that is? I mean, don't you find that just the weirdest thing?"

"Romans 1:26, God gave them over to shameful lusts!"

"A view of the blood-stained lake. AHHHHHHH"

"Oh it may be blue now, but soon it will be redder than Republican Texas."

"No, I'm serious, bitch. I swear to god. Blue."

"Maybe this vase isn't nailed down."

"We go with the snow but not the snow that is yellow!"

"Alright everybody, it's 4:30. School is finally over. Time to go home, load up that bong, and watch Pokemon!"

"Leave me alone, I'm doing my standard anime 'elbows up' pose."

"Oh wow. I can't even comprehend how inappropriate this is."

"GOD YOU'RE MAKING ME SICK."

"God you are four of the ugliest fucking kids I've ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes on. I can't wait for this bitch to kill you."

"NANIIIIIII?"

"Oh my, definitely a 10."

"If you do, I'll suck you all for a Scooby Snack."

"Any closer and there'd be insertion."

"I may be a successful doctor, but first and foremost I'm a Jew."

"You know what I hear? I hear the sound of you shuttin' the fuck up."

"Let's see... 7?"

"What the FUCK are you talking about!?"

[finsterhund]

Power turned back on at almost 11PM. But I didn't get internet until (when I post this) because roommate fucking refused to properly fix the goddamn router. There's a fucking error that the WAN cable isn't plugged in right. Just fucking fix the damn thing. I'm so mad. If I wasn't making less than minimum wage I'd fucking buy my own router that wouldn't be stuck in his fucking bedroom.

The internet is my only escape from this fucking shithole. Jesus christ.

All this on top of the stupid parasitic shithead landlords I just want to fucking kill them. Make them fucking pay. The world would be better if they were strung up and disemboweled.

I can't fucking take anymore of this.

I only moved to this fucking house because you made me.

"This was the only place" WRONG. You wanted a place that had a bedroom to your specifications and fuck all. As long as they let you have your rabbit you didn't give a single fuck about me getting my service dog when you forced me to move to this place.

That's how it's always been. My needs a fucking afterthought.

Well I'm fucking sick of it. Seems like you only ever voluntarily spend time with me by your own choice when something like this is just about to happen too.

Take me to a fancier place to get food to feel better but I pay for it

I want to fucking die. I want to kill but I can't even kill myself. Today it feels like I fucking twisted my intestines I'm so fucking sick and stressed and mad.

Fuck government fuck borders fuck countries and fuck landlords. We should be able to live wherever the fuck we want. That's how it's supposed to be. Walk someplace new, there's herds here, bam, this is where our troop lives now.

But noooooooo.

Fuck this shit world.

Every time the power goes out it takes five fucking years off my life too. Can't handle this shit anymore. For some reason all the fucking commercial areas of the city still had power but our shitty slummy complex didn't. Huh. Fucking wild that.

3PM the next day update. I know he's awake. I can hear him. The router is still fucking off. Can't even see it now. I am infuriated

He is deliberately cutting me off from my support network at this point.

He has data so he can just access the internet just fine.

I chip in for the cost of the internet by the way. It's not like I'm leeching off his. It's mine too and he just has full access and control over the router because of where it is in the house.

I am so fucking pissed off. Other than the fact that she doesn't respect me and doesn't see me as a human being and all that, living with my mom almost seems possible. Regular access to food, puppy dog who's big enough to actually perform the tasks I'd need them to, just puppy dog in general.

If I don't get internet by 5PM at the latest I am going to (verbally) rip everyone to pieces.

I just want to talk to my friends. I need my support network. I really need people right now. I can't stand it I am in total isolation with nothing. I just want to die. There's no other exit from this. Everything else has been taken from me.

I've physically selfharmed for what is probably the first time in 5 years. An achievement I used to be proud of. But I just couldn't stand not doing it. I did it after I took my meds before going to sleep last night. It wasn't much but it was still doing it. Just fucking cried myself to sleep after that. Listening to music trying to just go anywhere else but here.

I still want to kill. I am still enraged. I want my roommate to fucking understand how much I am in pain. Sick of his flaky inconsistent support.

These cunts could care less the pain I'm in.

Wish more than anything that I could just fucking leave. But I can't leave. And there's nowhere else to go.

All there's left to do is try to sleep

Pretend to sleep

It is now 6PM.

Still no internet.

I'm too much of a coward to confront.

I've just been hiding in my room. Enraged but too scared to do anything about it.

I miss my friends.

I miss my stupid little tasks.

I miss my audio books.

I can hear them both making a fucking racket. Shut the fuck up.

7PM ex roommate tells me that apparently the moden was fried. How the fuck do you

And then it hits me.

My roommate this entire fucking time hasn't had it plugged into his surge protector.

I swear to fucking god.

I am in total isolation at my lowest point trying to argue with myself not to run out in front of traffic and it's because nobody in this fucking house except for me does anything fucking right.

If it'd been in my room it would have been plugged into one of my three surge protectors

Power outages aren't even rare here. What the FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

WHO FUCKING

There's nothing else to do.

Tried to post on mcdonald's wifi again. Phone died for no reason.

Roommate attacked me (words not physical.) And I'm harming again more worse

If I die though it's an axcident I'm not trying to die.

Roommate put on phone wifi data thing only have time to post this.

Won't be able to make it to TTRPG

Sorry

[chaseagainstonision]

Just wanted to post Gerg's Patron video here. I know that's not something that I usually do, but I'll make an acception for this one. (reupload if this goes down) TL;DW: Gerg's upset about the possible lawsuit from AJ's dad's manager and he bitched that it's not fair that he can't "SpReAd AwArEnEsS" about supposed "potential predators." Transcript from The Forums. Thanks transcript annon! -------------------- Hey guys, I hope you don’t mind but I gotta rant regarding this whole lawsuit business where I’m gonna get in trouble for hearing something and then telling other people what I heard. Absolute fucking bullshit, just the concept of that. The only way that would make sense is if I signed, like, a nondisclosure agreement but no, I heard something from someone directly saying something happened to them and I told other people that they said it happened to them and now I’m allegedly going to get fucking sued. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a more frivolous lawsuit than simply passing on what someone else said and notifying everyone else that someone else said it, and not fucking me. I think that if you believe in freedom of speech whatsoever, then at the bare minimum you should be able to hear something and then tell others that you heard that something. What the fuck? Regardless, I wanted to talk about a basic, everyone-should-fucking-know-this concept. Bill Cosby, he violated, like, what? Was it 30 women? Was it 60 women? It was a fuckton of women! And you know how he did that? Y’know how he got away with it for so long? Because of dipshits who say, “Oh, only one person can tell that story, only one person can notify the public that something happened and that’s the victim.” So let me get this straight, you fucking assholes: Someone endures horrible, horrible crime, i.e. being raped, and now you are saying that they have to come forward? Like they have a responsibility that they solely— all the weight is on their shoulders to humiliate themselves and present themselves to the world and say, “This happened to me”? Really, that’s what you’re saying? Because listen, there are a lot of brave people out there who are fully capable of stepping forward and saying “this fuckin’ happened,” and those people are… just heroes, they are as heroic as it gets, like it’s so fucking brave of them to share their story despite how humiliated they might feel. But! There are human beings who don’t want to be humiliated! They don’t want to step forward, they don’t want to pursue the case, because the case might not even go through and then the asshole gets off with it and they’re still at square one, no justice, but now they’re humiliated. So you’re asking them to do that, on top of being violated? Like they— you’re telling them that they now have a job to do? Not only were they violated, but now they have a, a really strenuous task that’s going to defeat them emotionally, mentally, and maybe even physically, depending on how long they’re in court. That’s what you fuckfaces think. You think that that’s the way to handle things: to guilt the victims into doing it while saying nobody else can help them or nobody else can stand up and speak for the sake of not only them but for the sake of others. So I recently came out with a list of people who other people informed me that had violated those people. I just revealed either first name or last name in my videos, as to not violate policies. But people are actually—and this is what I don’t understand about the internet—people are actually mad at me. Can you fuckin’ believe that? There’s people who are like, “Ah, naw, let’s keep the identity of the rapist secret. Let’s keep the identity of the rapist secret. Ah, naw, let’s not help out the rape victim, let’s just go ahead and ignore it. Let’s just go ahead and ignore it. Pretend it didn’t fuckin’ happen.” I swear to god you people are so fucking stupid it blows my goddamn mind. How do you think justice happens? Like, what are the statistics if nobody else helps out any victim of any crime except for the victim of the crime, what do you think the odds are that stories are gonna start building up with the predators? I genuinely hate aspects of society because of dumbshit moves like this. Think about it this way: somebody robs your neighbor’s house, right? Somebody robs your fuckin’ neighbor and your neighbor is too scared shitless to tell anybody about it. Let’s say they said, “If you go to the police I’m gonna kill you” or something like that. But the neighbor does tell his neighbor that something did happen and, yeah, he was robbed. So that neighbor decides to tell the public, “Hey watch out, there’s a robber in the neighborhood” and now the whole fuckin’ neighborhood knows to be more safe, lock their doors, etc. This is what you guys propose, you dumb motherfucking inbred goddamn cunts. You propose that “Oh, ya heard your neighbor got broken into? Well, it’s their responsibility to tell everybody and uh oh, better not tell my other neighbors because that’s not my business, I guess.” So now your other neighbor gets fuckin’ broken into, only he gets murdered now! And the other neighbor, and the other neighbor. But it’s not your responsibility to warn innocent people of a fucking predator in the neighborhood because that’s the job of the victim who’s already suffering enough! Oh my god, you people are fucking stupid. So if I were to go to court and sit in front of a judge, and the judge is like, “Oh, you did something bad here,” I would ask, “Okay, so what am I supposed to do when, uh I don’t know, I find out someone was beaten by their husband? Or someone was murdered? What about all the other fucking crimes? Is rape the only crime that we put all the responsibility on the victim to report?” Anyway, that’s the rant that I wanted to have. If you have a sister or a brother or a mother or a father or daughter or a son, know that a lot of predators don’t stop at one. They violate people throughout their whole fuckin’ lives because they're sick, disgusting freaks who have an itch that they want to scratch and one person doesn't scratch it for their whole fuckin’ life. So what you gotta do is you gotta stand up for the victims, you— oh my god how do you not know this, you spineless fucks? Stand up for the victims and you speak for the sake of not only them but for the people that could also be hurt by the same person they were hurt by. Alright, dumb motherfuckers? Cool.

[dreadhaus-literature]

{A/N}

I’m still trying to decide if I’m going to aim for a 3rd OC to round out the challenge, tonight. I’m feeling a little dry on the creative front, and 2 out of 3 is respectable.

I’m also trying to teach myself I don’t have to be writing 100% of the time to be productive.

So while I decide whether or not to try and create a 3rd new OC, I figured I’d drink my coffee and come talk about some stuff.

It’s pretty common knowledge that I think a lot. I overthink, a lot. And as I’ve gotten more into fandoms again, I’m seeing the climate around things change from when I was writing for fandoms before. And this isn’t so much a rant about fandoms as it’s me...questioning my writing and if I’ll be okay, putting my stuff out there.

Y’see, we all know Tumblr’s a pretty toxic place, if you’re not in the “THIS IS OKAY TO LIKE” box, you’re gonna get death threats and shamed and...all that fun stuff. And I’ve always existed outside of that box. I like BDSM, necro, cannibalism, etc, and none of that is mainstream or “acceptable” to like. And as I’ve been paying attention and watching and just sort of...putting my ear to the wall (because I don’t participate in shit) it’s left me feeling like I shouldn’t create, because nothing I create is “okay” by the standards of people that are out there.

And it’s weird, because when I was younger I never used to give a shit. I’d write what I wanted and fuck anyone who didn’t like it. But it seems the scales have tipped so far the other way; where before people would just quietly peruse what they like and ignore what they didn’t, I feel like now they make lynch mobs and try to destroy you as a person because omg you like littlespace? How very dare.

It might have something to do with my emotional state, right now. I’m very...I don’t want to say fragile? Not because I have a problem with being fragile but more because I’m just tired, emotionally. I’ve hit this point where I’m just too tired for drama and bullshit because I’m just trying to make it to tomorrow. So the thought of creating something that I like, that I enjoy, and someone coming to scream “THIS IS WRONG AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD” at me just...does not interest me in the slightest.

Even just with creating characters, I was thinking of creating a new monster...because uhm, yaaas, but when I was doing research there’s all these folks barking and screeching about how you can’t create monsters using Native American lore because it’s wrong or how Jewish people own certain myths and you can’t use them and I just...I really didn’t want to get to a point where I’m saying people are too sensitive (because that’s the older people’s battle cry and I think sensitivity is important) but if I want to create a monster based off the wendigo...why can’t I just do that? Why is that so offensive and horrible to a group of people whom I don’t know and don’t know me? I’m not doing it to be shitty. Tbh it’s a form of respect because I think the lore is badass and I want some of that.

It reminds me how I saw a long thread (this was ages ago) about a little white girl who wanted to throw a geisha-inspired tea party and her mom did all this research and reached out to Japanese...people (I don’t recall what they did, officially) and she put on this real authentic party for her daughter and it was really respectful and there were all these people just up in arms about it, calling it appropriation and while I 10000% believe appropriation is a thing, not everything is appropriation. And if we start drawing those sorts of lines, we’re all gonna lose 97% of the shit we enjoy because it belongs to some other race or culture.

So I don’t know. Seeing all this discourse and angry shouting just adds to my “oh my god I’m old and tired” mood because I want to create all sorts of things but I’m terrified that I’m going to create something offensive without realizing it’s offensive???

The monster thing really fucking threw me.

And I know. Folks in the internet don’t own shit and I don’t owe anyone an explanation for the shit that I do. I know I’m coming from a place of respect and just trying to enjoy myself and I shouldn’t feel bad about that--I know all that. Part of my issue with seeing this sort of stuff is because I was raised to not believe my opinion or thoughts or feelings about something is worth a goddamn, which is why people say things and I nod and shut up. I’m still working on it.

Which brings me to something else that’s been tumbling around in my head--think I’m going to take a page out of Beesly’s book and try to be more assertive this year/for the rest of my life. It’s something that I’ve struggled with my whole life, for reasons that I assume are obvious, and I want to...get over that. I realize there’s lots of things I want to do and don’t because I’m too worried about what someone else may say or think or do about it and so I just...don’t. And I wind up regretting my silence or in-action and then I feel bad. And to be clear, I’m not even talking about shitty things. I mean I don’t do small things, like talk about my own likes or interests or even buying certain things because I don’t think I should, because someone else might side-eye or it might bother someone. I have always done this and I still do it and I swear to god even on my own fucking cellphone sometimes I won’t set certain characters as my wallpaper because I don’t feel like I have the right to do it.

I mean how fucking stupid is that.

But it’s a real issue and it keeps me from enjoying simple things that don’t bother anyone. And I realize I have a lot of anger and resentment built up that I need to start working on, and this type of behavior only adds to it. I feel like I have this gluttonous monster that follows me around, and has since I was a kid, and it’s just huge and gross (even for me, lol) and I keep feeding it so it sticks around. And it just keeps getting bigger and bigger and the more I feed it the worse I feel because it’s constantly bothering me.

I just...I’m sure it sounds stupid but I really need my 30′s to be better than my 20′s and this new decade thing, like I either gotta pull the trigger on some change and making my life better...or really pull the trigger and be done with it. I’m stuck in places I don’t like being and I’m sick of coming back to these spaces and saying I’m stuck. How many years am I gonna do that?

Hopefully, no more years, lol.

I just have to teach myself worth, I guess. That’s the root issue of all the stuff I was just talking about. I don’t value myself enough to put my foot down about things or to just openly like something without worrying about what anyone else might think about it--and don’t get me wrong, I’ve always done my own thing and I didn’t care how off-brand it was. I like weird shit and always have; when I say openly liking something I mean not feeling like I don’t belong liking it. And the worth issue applies to my writing, too.

Because circling back to the whole, “you can’t like this because I think it’s wrong,” thing, I was reading a thread a couple days ago about how the main actor in that You show, he goes on Twitter and corrects women who like his character, and of course Tumblr is praising him and saying how you shouldn’t like his character and that behavior is toxic.

And yeah, in real life, it is. And you shouldn’t put up with anything you’re not comfortable with.

But I was reading this and thinking to myself...y’all really can’t separate fantasy from reality anymore. Y’all have just blurred that line to the point where people can’t even enjoy fake shit because you think that means they like it IRL. And it’s fucking nuts.

As someone who has existed in their own fantasy world for 30 years, I can safely say, there’s shit I enjoy in fantasy I wouldn’t IRL. I love super controlling behavior on paper but I wouldn’t be able to deal with it in a real relationship. That shit hits way too close to home--but I have control over it in my head, so it’s perfect. And that’s why fantasy is so important.

Take cannibalism. Could someone cut off my arm and eat it IRL? I mean they could, but...don’t? I need it for things.

But they can in my head, and on paper, and I enjoy reading about it. Experiencing it that way, because it’s the only safe, sane way to experience it.

I fucking love unhinged, crazy characters who are obsessive and possessive to the point of murder and I can’t enjoy that shit IRL but I’m fucking fine to fantasize about it--but everyone is out there tooting their shame horn and I just...let people enjoy things? Like why the fuck are they so pressed.

It’s like sitting down to eat at your table, in your house, with your favorite meal all nicely prepared in front of you. But you happen to look up, and see that across the street, your neighbor is eating some shit you hate. Like you can’t stand what they’re eating. But they’re in their house, and you can’t smell it, and you don’t have to eat it...yet instead of eating your own goddamn meal, you get up from the table, march across the street, and bang on your neighbor’s door to yell at them about some shit you don’t like. How dare they eat something you don’t like?

That’s what it’s like, to me. The shit I like, that I’m into, doesn’t hurt any-fucking-body, because it’s fantasy. But people will scream at the top of their fucking lungs about how it’s gross and nasty and they don’t want to see it (even though they found it, somehow) and because they hate it I’m terrible for liking it. It just...ugh. It’s such an illogical argument.

I don’t like Katy Perry. I think she’s a garbage human being who got famous because she’s “pretty” and pretended to be bisexual for a while but y’know what? I don’t give a shit about her or anyone who likes her. I don’t care, and when I say I don’t care, I mean like it doesn’t affect or bother me that anyone else is into her. She can do her, and they can do them, and I’mma do me.

But it’s borderline impossible for people to stay in their goddamn lane and it’s nuts. Like as a gay woman who grew up watching adults argue about gay marriage I remember thinking, even as a gayby, why do so many straight folks care? Like why do they give a shit who someone else is marrying? But they did. They still do.

And that’s what it reminds me of. That us younger generations love to brag about how we’re more open and progressive than our parents and grandparents and yeah, we don’t lynch people of color or keep the LGBT community closeted but if you enjoy BDSM/littlespace or god forbid ship the wrong characters together you’re probably gonna get death threats and bullied off an internet platform.

So yeah. That’s just been rattling around in my head the past few days, as I’ve been workshopping OC’s and tossing around ideas of what to write about this year. My interests have and always will be counter-culture/alternative and I always anticipate there’s going to be someone who isn’t into what I do. That’s...kinda been my label? Like I’m not “one size fits all”, lol, but beyond all the discourse and stuff it leaves me wondering what sort of audience I’ll even have.

I don’t pretend to be the only one into these sorts of things, I know there’s other weirdos out there and stuff, they’re just sitting quietly amongst all the shouting and screaming, like I am. And I guess if that’s my audience, I’ll take it. I don’t have these big aspirations of necessarily being famous (being rich would be nice because...money worries, lol, I’m way over them) but I always liked Christine’s hustle. She writes (prolifically, good god) for her fans and that’s what she’s happy doing. Doesn’t matter that she isn’t a household name, she’s got devoted fans and that is the kind of fanbase I’d like as an author. I don’t need to be liked by everyone, I just want to write and if I happen to make someone happy, well, mission accomplished.

So in the meantime, just going to keep plugging away at myself, letting 2020 be the year of change and growth. So far it’s been...I mean I think it’s gone well. I’ve finished the first writing challenge I issued myself, so there’s that!

But alas, my coffee cup is empty and it’s time for a refill.

I’ll be back soon, likely to issue and then destroy the next challenge of 2020.

[mokeonn]

I fucking hate it when people are so quick to defend “precious” artists from criticism after the artist did something morally wrong... then turn around and get upset that the discourse THEY made about the artist blows up.

Adding a read more because boy oh boy do i have a lot to talk about on this topic. get ready, i am mad and it is long

When an artist does something wrong, they will most likely get called out. hell, i know i am going to get an assload of anon hate for this if it ever blows up. 

but this is the mother fucking internet. you posted something online, you (most likely) KNEW what was going to happen if someone disapproved of it. you won’t get praise 24/7. And? art isn’t a fucking easy ass job. if you can’t fucking handle someone on tumblr saying whitewashing is bad, you shouldn’t be an artist.

Get over it.

you aren’t exempt from criticism of your disgusting actions just because you’re an artist.

if you are an artist called out for doing something bad, here is what to do:

Apologize: say you’re sorry. don’t say “sorry you were offended” because that puts the blame on someone else. YOU did something wrong. apologize. Don’t make a comic of a “sjw tumblr triggered girl” yelling at you. you’ll dig a hole for yourself and become a JOKE. delete the problem. apologize. don’t dig a hole

Learn: what did you do wrong? did color theory escape your mind and you whitewashed someone? did you draw porn that was untagged or disgusting in some way (not like a kinky way i’m saying a “sexualized a serious problem such as rape or pedophilia” way)? well. That’s the problem. don’t do it again. and we can’t stop you, so at least do it in private and don’t post it anywhere even though it is wrong.

Move on: Delete anons bugging you about it even though you deleted it. ignore discourse about it. ask people to stop talking about it and just... keep making art. its over when people shut up. so just. move on and just keep making art.

If you are not the artist and you witnessed someone who was called out:

shut up about it. unless the artist is refusing to apologize and is making a big deal. keep your nose out of it. I always see people defending the artist and normally THEY are the ones making the discourse and getting the artist in trouble. The person did something wrong. GET OVER IT. Stop trying to defend them if the problem is solved. 

I fucking hate comics like these and the drama about artists who do disgusting or racist shit. half of the time the artist isn’t the problem. its the people against the “damn sjws” who start this shit.

stop making goddamn comics defending artists for making shitty stuff. 

stop making comics saying artists can make rape porn if they want.

just...

stop making any comics like these or the “sjw strawman” ones.

(and before you call me a hypocrite, THE COMIC IS A JOKE DAMNIT. the message is 100% serious and i am sick of assholes being defended because “artists can draw whatever UwU”. just because you can draw whatever you want, doesn’t mean it is right. 

The comic is making fun of comics similar to it, hence the jab at the “inhales, tumblr we need to talk” one. don’t you dare call me a hypocrite for this comic. i swear to god.)

[furiousncurious]

I'm fucking sick of it I'm fucking sick of it I'm going to have a full on breakdown and end up fucking killing myself I can't fucking handle shit anymore fuckubf I can't do this fucking shit anymor eim fucking sick of living in constant fear and envy and inability and this stupid fucking feeling in my goddamn chest and idk how but I physically feel screaming I'm fucking psycho if anyone else were in my shoes they'd be doing a much better job I swear to god I wish y'all could see how I act without having the Internet filter my actions to only show my good side because things can be delayed and altered and crucial things can be hidden all before you push then send button because then you'd know how terrible of anfucking human being I am i make my mother miserable I make my father miserable I cause divides and discourse and I'm the most harmful to myself what the fuck am I doing i wish someone could wave a magic wajd and make me better or make things better I have no things to fall back on no talent no reliable ways to talk to people because of my conditions absolutely nothing and it's all because i limit myself in the confounds of my own mind while all of my stress and pain and internal screaming and horror andncrankiness and impulsive self defensive yelling and I can't afford to chop down a single minute of my free time to get help because every second feels like a ton on my back because I can feel every unit of time that I waste creep up my throat and let it become apparent how much I've wasted it and I waste it all I waste it all because I can't function I can't do anything but sit down and feel like the abhorrent mess that I am I need help I need gelPpI NEED HELP I NEED HELP ANF THERES NOTHING TO SAVE ME BUT MYSELF AND I CANT DO IT IM CRYIGN OUT FOR HELP THAT I KNOW ISNT EVEN THERE IM SO ILL AND IM SO HORRUBLE AND I WANT TO CHANGE SO BAD INWANT TO SHOW THE WORLD THE GOOD ME AND NOTHING BYT THE GOOD ME INWANT TO FUCKINGNDIE PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE FUCK FUCKING KILL MEJUST KILL ME

[ana-isnt-dead]

some fucknut boys were in this mcdonalds near me and one of them started filming another one sitting down at my table and stealing one of my fries and I literally just said “please get away from my table” disgustedly and they all just went off laughing like it was the funniest thing ever.

like okay universe I’m trying really hard to love myself and my body and be proud of who I am but being a fat female presenting person in this goddamn society is literally an invitation for harassment I’m so sick and fucking tired of assholes thinking they can get away with dumb shit like this I’m so tired of the misogynistic bullshit teenage boys think is acceptable because no one ever taught them it was wrong I’m so tired of having my personal space violated so my discomfort and fear of strange men in groups can become the butt of someone else’s fucking joke I’m just. So. Fucking. Tired.

and I swear to god if anyone dares to try and say “lol ur mad they stole ur fry fatty” I will find you and personally light you on fire the bigger picture is that this has been my whole life. I have spent so many fucking years being groped by random strangers and harassed on the street and laughed at and filmed for reaction videos so these fucknuggets can laugh at how funny it is that I’m afraid of them and they can get away with it later and so they can put me in the internet so other fucknuggets can share in the great joke that I, a fat ‘woman’ am an easy fucking target

i am so. Fucking tired. of being a second class citizen because of my weight. and yes, I know, there are so many people who have it worse than me, that I am lucky because I’m white and able-bodied and not openly nb. i Know. that doesn’t mean that this is acceptable.

[crimsonadri-fanfiction]

Make a Move (Chapter 8)

Fandom: Until Dawn

Genre: Romance, Humor, Tragedy, Hurt/Comfort

Pairing: Josh x OC

Rated: M

Warnings: Language,

(First) (Previous)

The lights came on and Chris and Ashley lifted their heads to see they were both alive. Ashley saw Josh in his mask pulling along a restrained, crying, Maxine.

“Noo! No no no! Get away!!!” Ashley screamed.

“Max!” Chris tried to shot Josh but nothing happened.  Josh held out the arm that wasn’t holding Maxine.

“Oh Chris…” he said. “Oh Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris.” Maxine pretended to struggle as Josh walked around the two.

“What the fuck?!” Chris looked at the gun.

“Oh you’ve heard of blanks before.” Josh said. “I mean really?” he stopped and took his mask off with one had as his other let go of Maxine’s wrists.

“Josh?” Chris asked. Maxine took the tape off her mouth and held out her arms.

“Tada!”

“Max?” Ashley gasped. Josh burst out laughing as he threw an arm around Maxine.

“Hahahahahaha!” Josh walked around the table with her again.

“Josh!” Maxine turned to see Sam and Mike had entered the room.

“Josh…” Mike said. “Max?”

“Oh, oh very good!” Josh said. Sam moved over to Ashley to set her free as Mike went to Chris. “Every one of you! Got my name! And after all you’ve been through! Good-good-good-good. I mean how does that feel? Right? How does it feel? Do you enjoy feeling terrorized? Humiliated? I mean, panicked. All those emotions that my sisters got to feel once one year ago! O-Only guess what, they didn’t get to laugh it off! No! Nope! No no no! They’re gone!”

“I don’t know if you noticed this, Josh, but none of us are laughing.” Mike said.

“Oh come, come- come- come- come. Why the long faces? Come on!” Josh said. “It’s good to get the heart racing every now and then, right? And race they did, I mean, every one of you just pitter-pat, pitter-pat!” he slapped the back of his hand on his palm. “I hope you appreciated my little phantasmagorical, spectacle! I mean, no detail too small! No opportunity missed! It was such a delight to play the puppet master to all of your Pavlovian panic! And all that gore? I mean, gore, there was gore galore!! Fake bodies… I mean, god that shit was expensive! And no retakes! Nope, nope, nope, only double takes! And who could forget our wonderful, beautiful actress-“ he put his hands on Maxine’s shoulders from behind her. “Maxine! Wasn’t she amazing! Truly believable; she deserves an Emmy!” he laughed. “Oh you should have seen your faces. Hook line and sinker for every little stinker!”

“Josh… Max… Why are you doing this?” Sam asked.

“Don’t even ask this squirrelly little runt. He’s got no clue.” Mike said. “He’s out of this fucking tree.”

“Well he’s definitely off his meds.” Chris said.

“What about you, Max? Why did you do this to us?” Ashley asked. “What did we do to you?! Why would you help him?!”

“It’s nothing personal.” Maxine said. “I just know what it feels like to lose people I love because someone thought it would be funny to… play a harmless prank.” Maxine snapped. “Why wouldn’t I help him.” Josh looked at her before looking at his friends.

“Aw come on, you guys. Revenge is the best medicine!” Josh said.

“You’re done.” Mike said.

“Mike, he’s sick-“ Chris said.

“What? Come on, you guys are all going to thank me when you guys become internet sensations!” Josh said.

“Wait, w-what…?”

“Oh you better believe this little puppy is going viral ladies and germs.” Josh said. “I mean we got unrequited love. We got… we got blood! I don’t think there’s enough hard drives in China to count all the views we’re gunna get, you guys.”

“What are you talking about, you ass hat?” Mike asked. “Jessica is fucking dead!”

“What?” Josh asked. Maxine’s eyes widened.

“Did you hear me?” Mike asked. “Jessica is dead and you are gunna fucking pay you dick!!!” Maxine screamed as Mike hit Josh with a pistol.

“Josh!” she quickly checked his head. “Why would you do that?!”

“Jessica is dead because of this prick!”  Mike spat as he got Chris and Ashley loose.

“We didn't do anything to her! Josh specifically sent two to the other cabin. We never went anywhere near it!

“Tie him up.” Mike told Chris. Maxine stood and took a step back. “We're not tying you up. You're staying with the girls.”

“Where are you gunna take him?”

“Just somewhere I can keep an eye on him.”

“Just please don't hurt him.” Maxine pleaded. “We didn’t hurt Jess I swear. I don’t know what happened to her but we have nothing to do with it!”

“Why should I believe you?” Mike asked. “You apparently a wonderful actress.” Maxine started to chew on her lip before she looked down at Josh who was being tied up by Chris.

“Why did you go along with this? We never did anything to you.” Sam said. “How could you do this to people you’ve only just met.”

“I-I...”

“It's cause she's in love with Josh.” Mike said. “She has the same look... Hannah did.” Maxine's face went red and she looked down at her feet.

“I'm sorry. We never meant for anyone to actually hurt, I swear, we have no idea what happened to Jess.” Maxine said. “Just… please don't hurt him.” she said as she watched Chris pull Josh up.

“Bring her upstairs.” Mike said to Sam. Sam nodded and took Maxine’s arm.

“What did you do with Max? Where’s Max?! Where is she?!” Josh shouted as Mike pushed him forward.

“She's fine. She's back at the lodge with the girls.” Chris said.

“You really brain washed that girl didn't you?” Mike asked.

“What are you- what are you talking about?” Josh asked.

“Maxine would've done anything you asked of her. How'd you get her to go along with all this? How did you convince a nice girl like her to be cruel to people she doesn't even know?”

“S-she wanted to help me. I-I don't know why she went along with it but just leave her alone. All-all of this was my idea; don't take it out on her. D-Don't blame her!”

“Relax.” Chris said. “All the blame belongs to you.”

“Where are we going?” Josh asked. “Where are you guys taking me?” Mike pushed Josh so he stumbled to the ground.

“Locking you up, bro.” Mike said.

“What?!”

“So you can’t do anything stupid before we call the police in the morning.” Mike said.

“Come on! I didn’t do anything- Ask Max!”

“Are you serious, bro?” Chris asked.

“You’re a goddamned murderer is what you are.” Mike said.

“I didn’t do it, Michael please! Just listen to me, man! We- I did not hurt Jessica-“ Josh said.

“You know what man? You need to shut up.” Chris said.

“I don’t get it, Max.” Sam said as she paced in front of Maxine who sat on the couch hugging her legs.

“I mean, I get that you like Josh but why go so far as to torment people you don’t even know?” Ashley asked.

“We didn’t do anything to Jessica, I swear.” Maxine said.

“What about us?” Sam asked. “I mean, we’ve never done anything to hurt you.”

“Josh told me about how you guys played that prank on Hannah.” Maxine said as she looked at Ashley. “That stupid prank cost Josh his sisters. Two years ago these… punks decided it would hilarious to teepee my house and then set the toilet paper on fire.” Sam stopped pacing. “I was homeschooled so I didn’t have any friends… I lost my parents, my home… I almost died… everything was just taken away and I was left alone… until…” Maxine looked down.

“Do you take medication?” Sam asked. Maxine nodded.

“Just to help me sleep though.” she said. “Otherwise I have nightmares.

“Did you know Josh had stopped taking his meds?” Sam asked. Maxine peeked up at her and nodded.

“It wasn’t all ill intent. We…” she glanced at Ashley. “We were trying to get you to admit your feelings to each other.”

“ ‘Traumatic event’…” Sam said shaking her head. The door opened and Chris came in.

“Mike’s staying with Josh in the shed.” He told the girls. “Max…” Maxine hid her face against her knees.

“Chris.” Ashley said as she stood. She walked up to him before leading him away. Maxine picked up her head and she and Sam looked over at the two to see Ashley whispering to Chris. After a moment Chris’ eyes widened and he looked at Maxine who hid her face again.

…

“Let me in! Let me IN!!” Emily screamed as she pounded on the door.

“Is that-?” Ashley and Maxine got up.

“It’s Em!!” Sam said.

“Let her in! Quick!” Chris said as everyone rushed to the door. He pulled the door open and Emily fell in.

“Shut the door! Oh my god- shut the door!!!” Emily screamed as she backed herself away. Sam, Ashley and Maxine pulled her back and up.

“Em, are you alright?” Chris asked.

“I didn’t think that I’d make it-“ Emily said as the girls led her back to the couch.

“You were screaming bloody murder.” Chris said.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked.

“You look totally wiped-“ Ashley said.

“There was something-“ Emily said.

“Where’s Matt?”

“Come sit down, sit down.” Sam said.  

“Something’s out there-“

“Did you guys split up?” Ashley asked.

“A monster- it’s a monster!” Emily said.

“Wait!” Chris said. “What are you talking about?”

“I said, there is something out there-!”

“Like what?” Ashley asked.

“Ash, relax. It was Josh, it was all Josh.” Sam said.

“No no no no listen to me-“ Emily said.

“We got him tied up, he can’t hurt you.” Sam said.

“NO it was after me. And it wasn’t human-“ Emily said. She turned to Maxine. “Max that scream we heard in the wood before!”

“That was just an animal, Em…” Maxine said shaking her head.

“Hold on…” Chris said. “Em, can you tell us exactly what happened?”

“I am trying to tell you.” She said. “We were climbing up the tower and it- it fell. The whole tower just fell! Right into the mines-“

“Whoa whoa whoa, what mines?” Chris asked.

“There are these mine shafts all over, running under everything, when the tower fell we ended up down there.”

“I don’t understand, the tower fell?” Ashley asked.

“How’d it fall?” Sam asked.

“I-I was walking down there, in the mines, and it was dark and I found this pile and … there was Beth’s head.”

“Wait, what?!” Chris leaned back.

“Beth’s head. I found it.” Emily said.

“Oh my god!” Ashley said.

“What the fuck?” Chris asked.

“Are you serious?!” Sam asked.

“Yes I’m serious!” Emily said. “I think they fell down there.”

“Jesus Christ.” Chris said.

“But the worst part is I don’t think Hannah died. Like from the fall, not right away…” Emily said as she held herself.

“What? What do you mean?” Ashley asked.

“I don’t know… I feel like she was down there… like, starving to death… for weeks…when we were all up here looking for her… we had no idea!” Emily said.

“Oh god…” Maxine breathed as she put hand over her mouth.

“Jesus, that’s… horrible…” Chris said.

“Listen. In… in the tower there was a radio and I-I got through to someone – but that was right when the tower collapsed!” Emily said. Mike came into the room and saw her.

“Em!” Emily stood and they hugged. “You made it!”

“Oh god, Mike-“ Emily said. Maxine stood and put a hand on Mike’s arm.

“Mike-“

“Yeah, yeah, barely.” Chris said.

“What about Matt?”

“We’re trying to figure that out.” Ashley said.

“Mike did you just leave Josh out there on his own-?” Maxine tried to ask but was drowned out by the others.

“And there was this ‘monster’ that was chasing her…” Chris said.

“She’s all messed up, guys” Matt said. “Emily? Hey, Em?” Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

“Whoa.” Chris said.

“Who the fuck can that be?” Mike whispered.

“Josh?” Ashley and Maxine asked at the same time.

“Jess?” Chris asked.

“It’s not Jess.” Mike said.

“Sorry man… but who is it?”

“I don’t know… we should check it out.”

“I got your back.” Chris said.

“Good.” Mike said. The two headed to the door. Mike held up his pistol and Chris opened the door as a man kicked it in, disarmed Mike and closed the door behind him.

“Okay everybody just calm down.” The stranger said. “Now just move over there.” Chris and Mike went back to the girls. “Go on, move! Let me say what I came to say. I’m here to tell you what you’re up against being back on this mountain.” The girls and Chris sat down on the couch. “You should never have returned.” He dropped a bag next to the fireplace. “I don’t know why you did after what happened last year.”

“You mean with Hannah and Beth?” Ashley asked.

“Yeah, how could you know without being involved-“ Chris asked.

“Or responsible- ?!” Sam asked.

“You hold onto your horses. I don’t take kindly to you kids coming up here to my mountain.” The stranger said.

“Your mountain?” Mike scoffed. “I’m sure the Washingtons would be very surprised to hear that.”

“Hehheh. Well this mountain don’t belong to me, it’s true. But it don’t belong to the Washingtons. This mountain belongs to the Wendigo.”

“Who?” Chris asked.

“What’s he talking about?” Sam asked.

“What’s a Wendigo?” Mike asked.

“Let’s hear him out.” Sam said.

“Not like we have a choice.” Mike said.

“Now I’m only going to tell you this once. It doesn’t matter to me if you believe it or not.” The stranger said. “I got reasons I want to… get it off my chest…”

“See? I told you!” Mike said. “He’s guilty as shit! Guilty of something!” Sam ‘shh’ed him.

“Mike shut up.” Maxine said.

“There is a curse. That dwells in these mountains.” The stranger said. “Should any man or woman resort to cannibalism in these woods the spirit of the Wendigo shall be unleashed.”

“Oh Crap.” Mike said.

“You’re going to need to find somewhere safe.” The stranger said.

“The basement might be okay…” Sam said.

“Okay. Get down there. All of you. And wait.”

“What why? For how long?”

“Until dawn.” Emily said.

“Guys… I ran off and left Josh when I heard screaming.” Mike said. Maxine stood with wide eyes.

“Where did you leave him?” The stranger asked.

“In this shed…”

“Your friend will already be dead.”

“No.” Maxine said as she shook her head.

“No…” Chris said as he stood. “No he can’t be… we were just with him!”

“A lot can happen quickly on this mountain.” The stranger said.

“No. I’m gunna go get him.” Chris said.

“Me too.” Maxine said.

“No, Max, you’re staying here. It’s too dangerous.”

“You can’t go out there, Chris.” Ashley said.

“I’m supposed to be his best friend and I-I let him down.”

“No… he let you down, Chris- he let all of us down.” Ashley said.

“I don’t care. I’m going to get him.”

“Then I’ll go with you.” The stranger said.

“I don’t need your help.” Chris said.

“Going alone is suicide.”

“Fine.”

“The rest of you, get down to the basement. Be safe. Don’t go outside again until we’re back.” The stranger came to stand in front of Chris. “You don’t seem to understand the magnitude of the situation.”

“Well I’m going to get Josh, aren’t I?”

“No, I’m going to get Josh. You’re going to help me. Do you understand?”

“…uh… yeah… I think so.”

“You need to follow me. and do everything I tell you.” The stranger said before he turned and walked away. Chris went to follow when Maxine grabbed his sleeve.

“Chris please… be careful and bring him back.” She said. He nodded.

“Get down to the basement.”

“Max I think you should sit down.” Sam said. Maxine glanced at her as she paced.

“Oh my god! Guys!” Emily said as Chris, Ashley and Mike came into the part of the basement where everyone else was.  “Thank god.”

“What took you so long?” Sam asked.

“It’s not good up there right now-“ Chris said.

“Understatement of the night.” Mike said as he closed the metal fenced door behind them.

“Chris… Where’s the flame thrower guy?”

“Ah… yeah… he uh…”

“He didn’t make it?” Ashley asked.

“Oh no!” Emily said.

“What happened?” Sam asked.

“The thing it… it tore him apart-! Right in front of me.” Chris said.

“Oh god.” Sam gasped. Chris looked over at Maxine. She was facing away from everyone and holding Josh’s jacket to her chest.

“Max…”

“Alright.” Mike said. “These all the doors?” Mike asked.

“Yeah.” Sam said. Chris walked over to Maxine and put a hand on her arm. She tensed and Chris felt her shoulders start to tremble. Chris looked at Ashley who looked at him. She motioned to Maxine and Chris nodded before pulling Maxine into his arms. He rubbed her back as Maxine’s shoulders started to shake.

“Are you sure?”

“What are you looking for?”

“Another way out.”

“Mike… I really don’t think that’s a good idea. We should stay put, right here, until dawn. At least we’re safe down here.”

“Oh? Yeah? All wrapped up like a little present with a bow on top for that thing to tear us apart on Christmas morning?” Mike said.

“People will come for us. In the morning.” Sam said.

“You don’t sound so sure.”

“That is what’ll happen. Right Em?”

“Yeah… I mean…right?” Emily asked.

“Well you can wait.” Mike said. “I’m leaving.”

“Mike… there’s no key for the cable car.” Emily said.

“Josh.” Mike said. “He’s gotta have it.”

“Josh?” Sam asked.

“One of his dirty little tricks.” Mike said.

“Great.” Sam said. “Great!”

“If that fucking thing got a hold of Josh… then… we’re shit outta luck.”

“I don’t know, Mike… it’s possible...” Emily said.

“What’s possible?” Sam asked.

“It may have taken him down to the mines…”

“What?” Mike asked.

“I saw some horrible stuff down there… I think it’s where that thing lives… and...” Emily turned and picked up a book. “huh…”

“Em?” Sam asked. “What?” she asked as she walked over.

“Fuck it.” Mike said. “I’m gunna get that key. Right from that thing’s goddamned bedroom and then I’m gunna get us all out of here.”

“Em … what is all that?” Sam asked.

“It’s that old guy’s bag.” Emily said.

“Is that a map?” Mike asked.

“The guy was prepared for anything.” Sam said.

“Not quite.” Mike said. Chris rubbed Maxine’s back slowly.

“Max, I’m really sorry.” Chris said. Maxine sniffled and wiped her eyes as she pulled back to look up at him.

“You and Ashley better stick together after this.” she said. “Tell her exactly how you feel, make sure she knows.”

“Max…” Chris felt his eyes watering. “You really cared about him…” Fresh tears started to fall down her cheeks.

“It’s pathetic isn’t it… I mean… I know he didn’t see me in that way…he probably liked… Sam.” Maxine said glancing over at Sam who was talking with Emily and Mike. Chris shook his head.

“No, Max… I don’t – I don’t know if- if telling you this will… make you feel any better but he was crazy about you.” Chris said. Maxine scoffed. “I’m serious. When he first told me about you he said he’d met this great, amazing girl. We went on and on about you.”

“He didn’t tell you I was attractive or-“

“Of course he didn’t. Why would he tell his single friend that the girl he likes is attractive?”

“Don’t guys usually do that?”

“Not Josh. I mean sure he would’ve bragged about you if you were his girlfriend but since you weren’t he didn’t want the idea of stealing you away to enter anyone’s head. You are cute and I know Josh thought so too.” Chris said. “And yes he flirted with Sam but she was Hannah’s best friend she was always over. They had no feelings for each other, just ask her.” Maxine lowered her head.

“Em…” Ashley said. “Em, what is that…?”

“Huh?” Chris and Maxine turned to see everyone backing away from Emily.

“What is that?”

“Ash…”

“Em, oh my god oh my god oh my god! Oh no, oh no, oh no!”

“It’s nothing, I just – it bit me, and-“

“It bit you? What bit you?”

“The ah… The Wendigo.”

“The what?” Mike asked.

“It’s nothing, really, it’s not a big deal –“

“You okay?” Sam asked.

“Shit.” Mike hissed.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore. Really.” Emily said. “It’s…it’s not that bad.”

“Em… if that thing bit you…” Mike said.

“I-I know what you’re thinking. And I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

“Yes!”

“Emily at least let us check it out.” Sam said.

“Emily… if the Wendigo bit you… you could turn into one of those thing.”

“Oh that’s ridiculous.” Sam said.

“He said it was from eating each other – remember he said that!” Ashley said.

“Wait is that how it worked?” Sam asked.

“Yes! It happens if it bit you, you’re gunna turn into one of them then you’re gunna turn on us. Oh my god oh my god oh my god!”

“He didn’t say that!” Maxine said. “He said nothing about being bitten. He said if someone resorts to cannibalism and she hasn’t eaten anyone!” Maxine said.

“We can’t take that chance.” Mike said. “You can’t be down here with us.”

“What?”Emily asked.

“Mike!” Sam said.

“You gotta go.” Mike said.

“Are you kidding me?!” Emily asked.

“You’re putting us all in danger!”

“Like hell I am!”

“Emily… you can’t stay here.”

“Mike… just cool your head, okay? We don’t know it works like that.” Sam said. “Maybe it’s just a bite.”

“I’ve seen what these fuckers can do.” Chris said. “I don’t wanna see it again.”

“Chris.” Maxine said.

“What is this? Guys. What are you doing?” Emily asked.

“Door’s right here.” Mike said. “I am letting you do this voluntarily.”

“Oh no you’re just making yourself feel better about sending me to my death since you know there’s a Wendigo out there ready to rip me to piece like it did with-“

“Okay oh my god will you just go?!” Ashley shouted. “Go! Get out of here!” Mike picked up his pistol and pointed it at Emily.

“Whoa!” Sam said.

“Mike!” Maxine shouted.

“…okay…” Emily said.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa- Mike…” Sam said as she rushed over to him. “Calm down.” Mike shook her off.

“You’re gunna shoot me?” Emily asked as she backed up. “Mike..? Me?”

“This is the safe room, Em.” Mike said.

“Please!” Emily moved up onto the desk, pulling her les to her chest.

“It is not safe as long as you’re in it.”

“No!”

“Not for us.”

“Don-…Don’t do this!”

“I’m really sorry.” Mike said. Emily put up her arm to block her head. “Fuck… I can’t do this.” Mike said as he turned away.

“Oh my god.” Emily breathed.

“You did the right thing.” Sam said.

“I hope you did.” Ashley said.

“Maybe… for now.” Mike said. “Shit… fuck fuck. Keep an eye on her… if you see anything weird… you guys know what to do.”

“Yeah.” Ashley said.

“No one leave.” Mike said. “Okay? It’s not safe out there.” He put the pistol down on the table. “I’ll be back soon.” Mike said before he left. Maxine went to Emily who curled up on the table. Sam sat beside Chris. Emily leaned back and laid on the table. Maxine stood in front of her.

“I thought... that…that he was gunna help us.” Emily said.

“Who the flame thrower dude?” Sam asked as Ashley picked up the stranger’s journal.

“Now we don’t have a chance…” Emily said. Ashley walked over to the other table and sat in a chair.

“No, guys, it just means we’ve got to be tough.” Sam said. “We’ve gotta do this on our own.”

“I don’t know if I can.” Emily said. Ashley started to look through the journal.

“This guy’s a little OCD.” She said. “There’s a lot of history to this.” Maxine walked over to her and looked over her shoulder. “This says that because the Windegos are… mutated from humans… when they hunt us they know how to perfectly mimic their prey.”

“Ashley.” Maxine said as she pointed to something on the page. She looked at Ashley with an almost glare like stare.

“Oh… oh no no no no no.” Ashley said.

“What?” Sam asked. “What is it? What does it say?” she asked as she walked over.

“It says that…well… the bites…” Ashley started to lower her voice. “If it bites you it’s not infectious. It doesn’t do anything.”

“Let me see that!” Sam said.

“Um, I’m sorry what did you say?” Emily asked as she got up.

“Em, it says you’ll be okay…” Ashley said as she stood.

“It says what?”

“You’re going to be fine.” Sam said.

“Fine?! Mike almost shot me! Is that fine?!”

“He didn’t shoot you-“ Sam said.

“And this bitch almost let him!” Emily shouted as she pointed to Ashley.

“Hey! That’s not fair, she was scared-“

“I’m the one who’s scared.” Emily said.

“I-I’m sorry… I’m sorry Emily.” Ashley said. “I didn’t know what was going to happen… none of us know!”

“There’s- There’s no excuse! There’s no excuse for this!” Emily shouted as she turned and walked away from Ashley.

“Please, Emily, please just try to understand-“

“Understand the palm of my hand, bitch.” Emily said before she slapped Ashley so hard she fell to the ground.

“I’m sorry.” Ashley whimpered as she got up, moving away like a wounded animal. “I’m so so so so sorry.”

“Shit.” Sam said as she read the journal. “Shit-shit-shit. We’re got to get to Mike like now!” Sam said before leaving the room. The other girls and Chris followed.

Next Chapter

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[sea-of-blood-red-roses]

I swear to god I have blocked that post with the girl with the abormally long neck and thin arms and the pink shirt that says gay on it for the 19th fucking time now I am so sick of it appearing every 2 goddamned posts someone delete it from the internet