#I swear more people need to watch this
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scissor seven & spider-verse ???!?!?? (i’m slowly descending into madness)
i i’m thinking of making Thirteen as Black Cat
(not because i want to see Thirteen in a Black Cat outfit…it’s because i want to see Thirteen in a Black Cat outfit.)
#scissor seven#i haven’t watched s4 btw pls dont spoil i’ll find you#spiderverse#is this a spidersona??? i’ll say it is#spiderman across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse#I swear people don’t talk about scissor seven enough#i love scissor seven so much guys please talk about it more#i need more irl people to watch scissor seven or more people to let me info dump about it
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What do you think the types of drunk would the murder trio be? Im pretty sure ask dusttale already answered this question about dust but i have to ask the mtt expert
see now askdusttale DID answer the question. but they didn't ANSWER the question when asked what dust is like drunk. they just said that dust is the type to drink himself blackout drunk. so that mean i have total freedom on deciding what the mtt are like drunk hehehe (rubs hands together in a villanous way that you would imagine nightmare doing or something idk)
i already have an absolutely hilarious idea for horror and it might just because i'm on the guilt section of his character analysis but i could TOTALLY imagine him being an emotional drunk. like he CRIES. horror sans man known for being incredibly guarded and private with what he feels bawling his eye out. he gets mad he gets sad he does not get happy because horror doesn't have the right to be happy. he is too upset over the fact that he fucking DOOMED all of horrortale because of his selfishness and nothing can stop him from being incredibly vocal about that fact so much so that killer had to tape his mouth shut because he wouldn't stop crying so loud. and then he just silently cries until he passes out from exhaustion. the alcohol has an incredibly strong effect on him because i dont think he would drink regularly plus he definitely hasnt drinken anything in those 7 years of starvation. it hits like a fucking plane crashing into him. or like getting his eye taken out again. either one!
another funny idea i had for killer would be like the alcohol affecting him but he SWEARS that he's still sober. he is very confused when he starts stumbling because wtf he doesnt FEEL drunk??? why is he bumping into walls and tables HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND FUCKING STUPID???? the alcohol is definitely effecting him but he swears he swears he doesn't feel drunk. hes not drunk its just the damn body doing this stupid bullshit!!!! he's still very aware of what's going on and is basically the same as sober but just like. he's wiggly he's wobbly and oh shit he just fell head face first into a tv whoops. he'd also have a high tolerance because just because. he can drink without feeling like shit until he just blacks out mid conversation with someone because his body couldn't take the toll of all the beer or whatever. hilarious idea triglycercule thank you triglycercule i know
dust in the context that we already know that he drinks AND he can fight against the human while like partially drunk.... i feel it would be kinda like a giggly drunk situation. except dust doesn't laugh at anything that's funny he only laughs when someone gets hurt or something. SADISTIC giggly drunk. because i can already imagine a half drunk dust laughing his ass off after killing the human and its a beautiful sight to me.
anyways imagine how it goes when you pair this sadistic giggly drunk with another that wont stop going through the 5 stages of grief and another that keeps on fucking falling over for no reason in his eyes. dream blunt rotation but the blunt is a bottle of vodka. i can already imagine it in my head and its fucking HILARIOUS. horror going on about how he caused the deaths of others and manipulated and tricked papyrus while killer is just trying his best to keep his eyes open because for some reason they won't stop trying to close. he is surprisingly getting frustated. dust has long since lost his voice laughing at this and he's just silent wheezing at everything. also phantom papyrus is only making the laughter worse because he keeps on making rude comments towards horror and killer and only he can hear him and its guffaw inducing. mtt amazing friend group you dont get shit like this anywhere else
#killer's breakdancing and he swears this isnt on purpose guys#GUYS GUYS ITS NOT ME THE BODY IS DRUNK OKAY WHY CANT I STOP WHEN DID I LEARN HOW TO DO THIS#horror has SO much to be guilty over its not even funny. ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY#nobody talks about this but this man is GUILTSTRIFEN. he is literally filled with so much guilt its not even funny#dust and killer have the genocides they did. ok. sure. that's it????#ugh god i dont wanna ramble in tags again..... im just gonna end up saying it in the analysis anyways but ughhhhhhhhhhh#yk what fine i'll rapid fire. trying to keep people from killing themselves. watching his friends die.#knowing that other monsters are getting eaten. worrying papyrus. coming up with a plan he knows wont work and tries make it happen#because that idea of them deconstrucing the core would NOT have worked so he did that out of selfishness#forcing his community to eat humans. tricking papyrus into eating humans. going against all his morals#dare i need say more i swear AND ALL OF THESE ARE SEPERATE THINGS TOO!!!!!!#he single handedly DOOMED horrortale into disarray by destroying the core#the eye idea wouldve worked. it wouldve been the only way monsterkind thrived#and yet he destroyed the core but kept his eye safe. as if one last big fuck you#you can have my eye but you cant have the machine that needs it. good luck bitches#THERE ALREADY WAS FOOD IN SNOWDIN BEFORE HE TOLD THEM TO EAT HUMANS#THERE COULD'VE BEEN ANOTHER WAY TO RATION THE FOOD OR FIND S FOOD SOURCE#BUT HE JUST TOLD TJEM TO EST HUMANS OUT OF SPITE SO UNDYNE WOULDN'T GET THE SOULS#granted it was a solution that worked for the hunger problem BUT HORROR FUCKING HATES IT#HE HATES THE IDEA OF EATING HUMANS HE HATES THE IDEA OF KILLING KIDS#BUT HE STILL DOES IT HE GOES AGAINST ALL HIS MORALS UGHHHHH#horror sans. horror sans my king horror sans my glorious lord and savior#i cannot WAIT to drop that character analysis. it will change lives. and by lives i mean me#i will be a changed man once the horror analysis comes out#anyways WHO IS THIS ANON AGAIN. its a question i always wonder because wtf#you have a daily question for me. this is like a log in event. if i answer all the questions in a row for a week i get a SPECIAL question#but fr thank you so much for your questions i love answering them its so fun to wrack my mind and figure out a way to answer it. brain teas#every time i see the words mtt expert i laugh lowly like an evil villain but i try not let it get to my head#humility is a standard i aim to uphold. one of my character traits. triglycercule character analysis when#tricule asks
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im still not done with my rewatch but i SWEAR its so obvious that the stuff cass did didnt come out of nowhere if you were actually paying attention to her over the course of the show. like sure maybe people dont care about her as much since shes a character that wasnt in the movie, but i mean come on. like everything is right there in the text, the stuff she did was absolutely not out of nowhere
#my post#if i need to explain this stuff after im done i VERY MUCH will. ive been writing down all the stuff i need to remember in a doc as i watch#like it paints such a clear picture to me. and its so depressingly beautiful. i love her so much#tangled#cassandra tangled#is that actually a common talking point about cass or was it only what i heard one or two people say tho#cause when i first watched it i remember watching youtube videos about it and people were like#'shes not a good character. the stuff she did came out of nowhere and made no sense'#gotta say though... i think that person was also a cis man#that sounds random but i swear it makes. more sense in full context. but im tired so i dont have it in me to explain ajfhahd
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how to get my friend to watch a two hour minecraft video about a Guy who im So Normal About in the apocalypse (i so much as think about the video and i start pacing around my room like a lunatic and randomly making sounds akin to a feral dog) despite them not really being into mcyt and it just being a random video that i decided to start caring about because there’s a Guy and he has Friends and its sad but also funny no borax no glue
#slimecicle#rainee rants about the most obscene topics#like PLEASE watch it i KNOW its two entire hours JUST of a minecraft thing and i KNOW i keep asking to the point im practically nagging you#but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE TRUST ME ON THIS I SWEAR ITS GOOD 😭😭#slimesicle cinematic universe#i need more people going insane about the 100 days video like i am this video permanently changed my brain chemistry
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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I'm conflicted of wanting to do a vid calling out TBYS for shit the patterns I've seen that others haven't (e.g his speculations, biases etc) but at the same time, that requires me to look at TBYS in depth, meaning watching all his videos in depth, and I honest to god don't know how to feel about that. Will call out his out of pocket claims to random woman being abusive though in any way I can cuz it's just so ridiculous.
#tbys#think before you sleep#i honestly have more shit i gotta get done than that#though i wanna more people to see what i see cuz im tired of the praise for this man i dont see it#there are moments where he is so obviously being rediculous yet not even critics will mention it#only i can cuz i heard it#i was there#watching him was giving me brain rot at times i swear i would need some actual substantial reason to do that#actually i feel like his comment sectioj gives me more brainrot than he has#he managed to sperge in a bunch of dumb people who will defend him to hell and back#only i seen a few critics not filled with his defenders but all in all thsts usually what happens#anyways
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Auditory processing issues suck SO HARD. I just spent about 1.5 hours watching the first half hour of a movie on YouTube, because I had so much trouble understanding the dialogue that I kept constantly having to go back and listen again and again and again, look up a transcript of the full film (the transcript contained mistakes, so it wasn't much help), compare and contrast various subtitle files available online, even cup my hands around my ears, etc. Just to figure out what the characters were saying to each other.
And it's not just literally understanding what words they say to each other, oh no. That's only the first step. The next step is figuring out what those characters MEAN when they say certain words. Like when a dude says "You know, I see, like, if we can get successful, it's, like, L-L, man… limos and Learjets," I feel like I'm having a stroke. I have to hit pause and sit there for a sec and ask myself a bunch of questions and do some research online.
Why did he say L-L? Why did he randomly say the initials of the two things he wants? Also, why does he specifically say 'Learjet'? When people dream of having a private jet, don't they normally say 'private jet'? I'd never heard the word Learjet before, so I had to go look it up to try to get more context, but that didn't really help. Is this a music biz reference I don't know? Is this a Canadian reference I don't know? If this happened once or twice during a movie, it would be no problem, but when I'm stopping and going back literally every two minutes, it takes for-fucking-ever to get through the film and my brain is So! Fucking! Exhausted!
I had to stop at about the half-hour mark. I felt like I was about to cry from frustration, so I quit for the night. I'll return to it in a day or two, when I've got a bit more mental energy, and try to work my way through the rest. If I can get through half an hour of film time per day (in an hour or so, however long it takes to get through that much), I can finish the movie in three days of watching. (And this is a movie I really, really WANT to see. I wouldn't waste a moment of my time struggling through it if I didn't care this much about it.)
Anyway. Sometimes when people say they "don't watch movies much", it doesn't necessarily mean they're being elitist snobs or whatever. Sometimes it's just so fucking challenging and exhausting to watch a movie that it leaves me feeling angry at my own body for being a dysfunctional piece of crap. I don't know if this counts as a "disability" and I'm not claiming that label because I don't want to step on any toes, but I have to admit that the mere prospect of watching a film often fills me with dread because it can be so intensely difficult for me (unless I just mentally check out and give up on understanding it completely, which is what I typically do when I'm watching with other people).
#please don't be harsh to me about this y'all :( i just needed to vent#i feel stupid enough already for being so incredibly fucking bad at something as simple as WATCHING A MOVIE#i don't get it? is this an autism thing? or is it an auditory-processing issue only?#tbf it's a mockumentary (hard core logo) and as i said to a friend tonight: that might be part of the problem#i think actors in mockumentaries often don't have an actual script and tend to improvise a lot of their dialogue#which is great for creating really realistic and convincing dialogue#but also often means that sentences trail off or make no sense; words are pronounced weirdly; enunciation is shit; etc.#the actors in this movie are really good in the sense that they're very realistic and it comes across basically like a real documentary#so props to them for that. but jfc. is it just me being shitty at understanding people talking?#or is it that these people do not fucking know how to project and enunciate and open their goddamn mouths when they talk?#and place emphasis in the right place in sentences? AND PRONOUNCE WORDS CORRECTLY FFS???#no i'm not being fair. and i know that. it's not fair of me to blame the actors/characters for my own difficulty understanding them.#but god this is hard for me. kind of ironic that i've studied so many foreign languages and can understand about 10 languages more or less#but i'm almost brought to tears by the challenge of trying to understand what native english speakers are saying in a normal film#there's another line where the transcript says 'as long as we can keep the fuckin' mentals fuckin' together'#but i swear he does not actually say 'mentals'. i listened to that bit so many times!!!#i even sent the link to a friend who confirmed that it didn't sound like 'mentals' to him either. more like 'mantoros' but that's not a wor#anyway i eventually just gave up on that one. i'm done for the night. i need to sleep#might delete this tmrw bc it feels stupid to get this down over literally just trying to watch a movie :( but i had to let off some steam#if anyone has a CORRECT transcript of this movie anywhere (you'll know it's correct if it does NOT include the word 'ryder') pls let me kno#that would help a lot with my future attempts at finishing it. but now i'm going to bed
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Is there another hobbyist or writer whose style or content is one that you enjoy?
《 I've been hesitant to answer this one because I haven't really read a lot of fiction lately, so this question feels like I'm being asked to pick favorite RP partners and that feels kinda mean. I love writing with all of y'all.
Still, I think I ought to give special mention to Dragon because oh boy do I reread their replies a lot...and I mean a lot. It's like comfort food to me. It makes my day (my week, even) whenever I get a new reply from them and I read new replies at least five times while trying to formulate a reply back...and then I reread it a billion times more while I wait for the next reply. There's so many Dragonisms in their writing I absolutely eat up. Their OCs are immaculate and they truly get their canon muses.
I also want to shout out Calvin. We haven't written together in a while, but I went back to reread old threads recently and they were so charming. There's this one reply that's now forever lost to the void because he deleted his old blog and my heart is broken because it was such a cute/sweet reply. I didn't reply to it because it was such a perfect bookending to the thread and now I'm kicking myself for not reblogging it without a reply. Maybe it's still in my drafts somewhere; but I might've deleted it while cleaning out my drafts.
I'll add to this post if I think of more people to shout out. 》
#ooc tag#answered#anonymous#《 i swear i want to branch out and rp with more people 》#《 this is not just a 'post things that Dragon likes' blog 》#《 that's what my oc blogs are for /j 》#《 but seriously 》#《 i really need to clean this blog up more and see who i can throw my muses at 》#《 i feel like i add a lot of muses based on what i think my pre-existing mutuals would appreciate 》#《 which only encourages me to remain more insular 》#《 it doesn't help that i have this sort of impostor syndrome when it comes to canon muse stuff 》#《 i started out as an OC rper and though i have 10 years of experience writing canon stuff— 》#《—I feel like i let myself bleed into the characters too much??? if that makes sense??? 》#《 like i know canon blogs are all about personal interpretations but i feel like I'm not doing a good job sticking to the characters 》#《 it doesn't help that getting me to watch/rewatch things is like pulling teeth so I'm going off of vibes and things i vaguely remember 》#《 makes me hesitant to reach out to other people because idk if they'd have as much tolerance for my writing as my mutuals do 》#《 i didn't mean for this to become a post about me whining about my own writing in the tags I'm sorry hghghhngh 》
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maybe it's to maintain a sense of tension & turmoil that would eventually reach an explosive peak, a sense of tug-of-war, a back-and-forth to hammer home the ideals they want to deliver and for the viewers to chew on, but although these arguments regarding hiroshi & his stance as a man torn between his loyalty for his country & the loyalty for his Filipino friends and lover is of course important, how they write these scenes & the points they present from this week alone is getting too repetitive...? literally the argument scenes from last night & tonight between adelina & hiroshi is basically the same; the ideas were the same, the dynamics were the same: the aggressive, radical adelina, bristling rage and fear over the injustices she's seen thus far, and the cautious, inspiriting hiroshi, all hopefulness and reassurance one moment as a lover, defensiveness and sternness as a japanese soldier in another. this debate will be ever-present ofc, it is one of the series' biggest conflicts, but it is unfortunately so easy to tell when it is a.) being pulled up as a main topic to move the plot along / be a necessary conflict for character development/introspection / be the conflict to deliver the morals & messages the writers want to send to their viewers, or b.) when it is being pulled up only for the drama and filler to pass the time. like watching the characters sit down to argue for 10 minutes, do other things for the plot for 2 minutes, then sit down again to argue for the next 20 minutes. lol.
#lots of things i wish they would soon improve but this 1 bothered me tonight..stopped watching halfway thru#these scenes would be like excellent breaks for when we need to take a breather to digest what's been going on#but at the slow pace they've set it it's just...nothing's been going on since like...4 days ago#except for eduardo's plot#it's just arguments..everywhere....all the time....over the same repetitive things#no progress nothing new to chew on despite there being drastic changes to their situation...? same vibes from the time they weren't occupie#yet lol. same dynamics mostly#only new points of debate is regarding hiroshi & his country vs friends conflict#& carmela being desperate to go back to comfort & luxury vs her family standing as firm as they could against the occupation#ahhh i am sooo not eloquent enough to express my full thoughts but like!!! fellow viewers if y'all r here u understand me right lmfoskadhsg#finding it hard to criticize bc i'm trying to make sense of where they r coming from#a.) seeing as unlike mcai this is a complete original story it's hard to see what direction they'd like to take it to#b.) fil shows really find it hard to break away from their normal formulas of family dramas & bastard children & love triangles :'))))#god the opportunity to tell a refreshing diff story but this is like gma show 67627627th but set in the japanese era....then mixed with 50%#of the mcai show feel#the editing the visuals the acting = good. 60% of the story line = can be compared to the hundreds of gma shows we've seen be4#anywy going off on a tangent...#c.) i can understand the slow pacing as them trying to establish the settings & the feel of that era so that the more intense tragedies-#later on would hit harder#but again. few scenes feel like they're dragging on for too long. some scenes & themes r too repetitive#need to see something differenttt something fresh something developing. something moving & feeling & connecting w/the audience#need to see more of the Philippines & the Filipino people in the 40s!! not the same afternoon prime drama shot in intramuros#need to see their messages staring into our souls instead of just being words uttered in tears#all this to say....flop era this week tbh sorry#EXCEPT FOR MAX COLLINS & HER LIKE. 3 MINS SCREEN TIME. MAX COLLINS I LOVE U QUEEN#rambles#pulang araw#putting this in the main tag i KNOW some ppl out there would feel the same & can explain this better lol i swear????
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psa for blue lock fans!!! have YOU ever thought well. this is an interesting manga. too bad soccer isn’t real. if you have, then BOY do i have NEWS for you !!!! the women’s world cup started today july 20 and goes until august 20! watch it and experience the epic highs and lows of international soccer! support women’s sports! get invested in real world soccer! *beckons you closer* it will be fun i promise
#blue lock#i had an actual informational post written out but eh. this was more fun to write#i am HAPPY to answer questions and give you the low down on anything irt woso!!#guys pls i need more people to talk to about this come watch with me it’ll be fun i swear
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i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy
#welcome to another episode of Luke is insane abt hockey boy!#this time featuring a guy who is actually this time almost (ALMOST) confirmed to be queer#the almost is partly me being insane because I don’t trust anything anymore#but like. there are only so many reasons you wear pride converse. that is not ally behaviour#it just threw me this time I think bc I’d been like no. heterosexual. bc I think I became aware of him when he joined the real hockey team#because the OTHER problem is that the whole time I’d been thinking he was cute as hell (bc he is) and simultaneously being like no. bad.#anyway this meant that I have actually talked to him a bunch without overthinking it this term which honestly has been very cool#not like a whole lot but we’ve played together a decent amount and hopefully will keep doing that#and yesterday discovered hes recommending other people talk to me abt goalieing which is insane to me bc I am truly not that good#but apparently I made an impression!#anyway it does not help that this guy has gotten incredibly good at hockey in the past few months#idk man I make bad decisions (I say as if this was a decision) bc it is now the end of term once again <3#which means absolutely nothing can or will happen until after summer. which isn’t an issue#I’m just frustrated by my tendency to realise these things right before I’m about to not see the guy for X period of time#I also desperately need to stop crushing on hockey boys I swear but in my defence that is the main way I meet people#I think I’m cursed actually. that would explain many things#anyway he also has exams until next Tuesday which means he’ll be at hockey next week but idk abt this week which is devastating#i just wanna have talk to the guy more honestly to see how that goes bc we’ve not rlly talked individually for an extended time yknow.#in other words we have not had A Conversation it’s been groups or like quicker exchanges#he’s kinda quiet but i can’t quite tell which way yknow. I know he’s Watching basically all the time. and he is slightly awkward#which is also kinda cute. he gets a lil rambly when he talks abt hockey and I wanna push that button more#i. topsy if you’re reading this you’re gonna laugh so hard I just realised. he’s captain of the team now.#which sidenote is INSANE bc he started playing with them THIS YEAR#but oh my god. okay.#anyway. I need to start complimenting guys more for multiple reasons but also#1. he dresses very cool 2. he caught me looking at his shirt last week without saying anything (BEFORE I caught the rainbow converse)#i compliment women on their clothes and jewellery and hair and shit all the time but I do not with men bc. I mean do I need to explain.#but this is so unfair I am haunted by existence of boy and here we are once again. posting on tumblr with the possibility of seeing him lik#two more times before summer. might be three or four depending on what he comes to#luke.txt
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bro faith (horror game) is so good wtfff
#was listening to Markiplier play it while i was drawing#but the quality??? amazing#it's like a retro game the animation is so static but the key parts in the game that needs more storytelling has rotoscoping animation#its so addicting to watch despite how horrifying it appears#especially that SPIDER WALKING FUCKER but nonetheless its AMAZING#that ending where father garcias has a LOADED SHOTGUN IS SO BADASS#the animation reminds me of ghost trick so much i love it when people makes a game in pixels but has the capability to animate so smoothly#also the juxtaposition of the static movement and making smooth animations in the most terrifying sequence really does so well in trying to#freak you the fuck out like when amy climbs to the bed... SO GOOD#IVE BEEN CURIOUS ABT IT FOR SO LONG AND NOW I GET IT ITS SO GOODD#~ rambling#i swear someone yelling at the spider demon thing PENDEJO is so fucking funny what the fuck KSJRHSJEHJAJEJ
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Even though I knew (without having read the manga) what we were gonna discover about how Ren ended up in France it still impacted me just the same as if I hadn't guessed it. I knew the parents were gonna find out and Ren was gonna blame himself and that's why he wasn't there when Kazuma woke up.
Did I or didn't say we were getting a philkas-like coming out? I knew it!! And it was so good, so satisfying, so gut wrenching. This show is giving me everything.
Ren knows now. He knows Kazuma might have felt something more than just being worried Ren was making a mistake going with a stranger to have sex. He now knows there are feelings there.
But Kazuma doesn't know yet!!
I wonder if the parents will reappear? Next week we're going on to office problems but... at some point Kazuma will want want know. Aaaaah!! I can't wait!!
#shigatsu no tokyo wa#tokyo in april is...#ren x kazuma#i swear#this show goes so deliriously slowly and quietly#i almost understand everything without the subs#which doesnt happen often#i need to scream about this to infinity and beyond#also more people need to watch this
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i have gotten 10 people to watch falsettos and tomorrow another person is going to watch it which is then going to create a domino effect to where at least like 5 more people are going to watch it
#basically i'm the falsettos addict at my school#because of this there is a lot more people who have watched falsettos#it's not insane i swear#falsettos#now i just need them to watch 1993 version + in trousers
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Uh warning this whole thing is me complaining about my bones and pain and stuff so if you're sick of hearing about that you should probably ignore this
Whatever's wrong with my knee spread to my hip so I think that maybe I WILL be needing a cane or something soon and it's not just a joke I was making cause I had to keep sitting down in random places
Joke might be the wrong word because it wasn't really a joke and it wasn't funny, I was just trying to be lighthearted and it didn't seem like it was really happening or that it was probable
#sorry if we're ever in a public place and i suddenly make us stop so i can sit down for a few seconds#its not because im lazy or im trying to be annoying i swear#something ive been thinking about is disability#i don't think im disabled because i can still get around and do things but sometimes it is a little difficult and im worried that#in the future I'll have a really hard time walking without pain and ill have to depend on someone more than i already do#im already going to need to live with someone for the rest of my life anyway because of mental health stuff and i really dont want to have#to give up what freedom i have left#i read somewhere that disability forces you to rely on people and it takes away your independence and totally overhauls your life#and that disability really destroys your walls surrounding asking others for help/support#being independent and being self sufficient#i pride myself on my independence and self sufficiency and seeing that slowly start trickling away while theres nothing i can do about it#and nobody knows what to do to stop it is really painful#maybe it wont get so bad that ill be fully reliant but the possibility is there and not knowing is really scary#my choice and my autonomy are being ripped away and it not a person thats doing it its my own body#im not in control of my own body anymore#maybe im being dramatic but it really doesnt feel like it#because i am slowly watching my joints get worse and i am completely helpless. i cant do anything. im watching whatever this is spread and#not a single person can tell me what it is or why its happening
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my head hurts, im bleeding still (more so than before i called ny clinic), im so stressed i want to cry cause i have no support and so much to do and all i want is my person cause everyone is in christmas mode and i cant handle this time of year alone again
#i never leave the house becuase its too exhausting and painful so i never get the chance to meet people#and theres nothing to do here and i swear this is the city of the worlds ugliest men anyway#so theres no reason to leave#and i cant use dating apps cause im trans and the only one thats actually decent to trans people isnt popular#and again some of yall are just the most boring people alive id rather kill myself than subject myself to that#like genuinely i cant fathom how these people are so average and so ugly all at once and all seem to have the same personality#like great okay i like dnd too but why is it your only personality trait#maybe your life isnt as empty as mine but its definitely not interesting either#like...i just want my one person#at this point thats all i want in life anyway cause nothing else is worth the effort#and instead i have to watch so many ungrateful people get what i desperately need#honestly do aby of you know what its like to have no idea when the next time if youll get to kiss someone?#youll get to like someone enough to want to?#but have no idea if or when itll happen when every atom of you feel likes its being ripped apart from want and need and#a history that hates you and your own body being unreliable and in pain?#i want to throw up over it all i cant do this any more and im sick to death of all of you who brag about shit you dont deserve#you had your taste of goodness sit down shut the fuck up and let some of the rest of us whove never had anything get a taste too
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