#I suck at anything that isn't history or English in school
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malachitezmeyka · 1 year ago
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Me: Okay, you know what? We had four shitty days this week and it's friday. Today, we're gonna have a good day. We'll go to school, get through the lessons, come home and relax and look forward to the weekend. No stressing, no crying, no spirals. Nothing
Random chemistry test: Hi :))))))
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15 questions, 15 mutuals
Thanks for the tag, @rachelsversion1 and @reyestrandd 🫶 💝
Are you named after anyone? Possibly? Once when I was little, I swear I remember my mom saying there was a girl in her high school class who name Kerry was spelled like mine, in addition to it being the name of a county in Ireland. But in later years, she doesn't remember this and insists she chose the name off the county in Ireland.
When was the last time your cried? Ehh recently... either Monday night or the time before that when I closed at work- our team trainer wouldn't stop harping at me to vacuum the underside of the case (when we were already behind) and she kept saying our manager would be furious if we didn't, and I was just getting so upset going home cause like I have actually closed with our manager more than she has, and if we are behind like we were that night, he doesn't care about that. Also it's under a panel so no one would notice! (as you can see, I've let it go lol).
Do you have kids? Nope!
What sport do you play/have played? When I was in middle school, I played softball, and was mostly terrible (I think in three years, I literally hit the ball once lol). But for some reason I was able to tell if a pitch sucked and so I got on base quite a bit from getting a "walk" from not swinging at a bad pitch.
Do you use sarcasm? Sometimes, but I have a real trouble with understanding it in person, because I come from a very sarcastic family with someone who is sarcastic 90% of the time, but if you react to what she is saying like she is being sarcastic, then she will pretend to throw a huge fit, and if you act like the fit isn't genuine then boy are you in trouble... so I tend to be embarrassingly bad at understanding sarcasm.
What's the thing you first notice about people? What they're wearing almost always. Like if I see women walk by at work I always want to yell out, "that sweatshirt is so cute! Where did you get that!"
What's your eye color? Brown
Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings for sure; scary movies are for looking up the plot on wikipedia lol
Any talents? No but I wish... I walk very softly and people always think I'm sneaking up on them but that doesn't really seem to count lol
Where were you born? A city in Wisconsin, but different from the one where I live now
What are your hobbies? Writing is the biggest; writing and watching shows and thinking about what I want to write about lol.
Do you have any pets? Yes, my tortie kitty Pumpkin, or Punkin - she is a sass bucket 🥰
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How tall are you? 5'2"
Favorite subject in school? English or History; anything reading or writing or non-math related.
Dream job? THE dream would be a murder she wrote type thing; living alone in a cottage and writing my silly stories and getting paid for it. But having a job where I could go in the morning, leave at a good time in the afternoon, be able to sit down during the work day and just complete a project and move on to the next one without having to talk to customers, and make enough money doing that; that honestly is a dream worth dreaming at this point. No pressure tagging: @dreamingofmickeywaffles @manicpixiedreamb0y @elevatehearts @ellena-asg @poppy-in-the-woods @baubeautyandthegeek @hydesjackiespuddinpop @paperstorm @tailoredshirt @draculakells @firstprince-history-huh @kiloskywalker @not-roman-and-not-a-god @carlos-in-glasses @love-ivygrace
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1800nosleep · 1 year ago
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STUDYING WITH THEM !!
all of my characters I write for + my ocs !!
pt two
warnings;; gn! reader, age of reader will depend on character, high school/ college student! reader, fluff, slight angst, cig smoking, underage drinking mention, maude isn't dating vin in this scenario, but they live together for rent purposes,
(a/n) since it's back-to-school season, I'm terrified for anyone and everyone in school, so have this as a soft reminder that school is coming or is already here !!
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THE OUTSIDERS
Dallas;
nuh uh, do not ask him for help
he is so unhelpful, he is too similar to david (tlb) in the way that he will distract you and bother you
he is begging you to stop studying because he is bored
"please y/n, I'm so bored!" "please!"
anyways, if you can force him to help you, he will try to help you but he will fail successfully
just ask him to read you your study notes or your fact cards, and he will read them but in the most monotone ass voice possible
he'll stop helping you, just to invite johnny over to help you, that way dallas can go fuck around
what did I tell you, useless as fuck over here
honestly its a shocker if you actually learn anything from him because of his unwillingness to help you and his monotone as voice
"y/n this is so stupid, why are you studying" "dal, i have a huge test soon, stop complaining and help me."
constant begging and pleading for you to quit studying will leave his mouth so you've got two options
tell him to fuck off and leave or attempt to study with him around, your choice
since dallas isn't in school, he doesn't study, and he never studied while he was in school
in conclusion, do not go to him to help you study, you'd have a better time going to darry, pony or sodapop. he will distract and bother you the entire time.
Ponyboy;
he is a blessing, out of everyone in this part of my hcs
like he will make sure, that you will pass whatever class or exam you have
you and him can have study sessions where you help each other
so go down to the library with your books and notes and get down to business
"alright y/n, lets get this done and over with"
he is reading your notes and asking you questions, taking questions directly from the book and asking them, that way you can be prepared for anything
you'll do the same for him because, for one, it is common decency when studying with someone, and for two, why wouldn't you
he wants to make sure both you and him pass your classes and tests so he is determined to help you study
if you smoke, he'll invite you out for a smoke break, but even if you don't he'll still invite you because you deserve a break from studying
in conclusion, he is probably the most helpful when it comes to studying and learning.
love him frfr, i'd study with him, idk bout yall
Johnny;
LORD HELP ME, johnny is such a mixture of pony and dal
like he'll help you if you really need help, but he's definitely calling in someone for things like math, science, and anything that isn't social studies
social studies johnny <3
I think he's definitely an english and social studies type of learner
that doesn't mean he absolutely sucks at math and science but lets just say, he definitely needs to study for those classes
if you suck at math and science, yall are gonna need some assistance from pony
but if you're really good at math and suck at english and social studies, you'll get all the help you need from johnny
he loves reading and learning about history, so get your textbook and study notes cuz he's gonna make sure you pass those classes
unlike pony and dal, johnny is a believer of rewarding good things so he's giving you little kisses and hugs and once you finish all of your studying, he's defo gonna cuddle you and AHHHH
although similarly to pony, he's also having some small smoke breaks so either you can follow him out or stay and study a little bit more when he's gone
"y/n come here, we finished all of our work, time for cuddles"
if you don't give him cuddles, i swear to god
he's actually so sweet, he's bringing snacks and drinks to the study session, which most of the time takes place either at the curtis' house or in the lot
he asks darry to help him make desserts as rewards
don't even get me started, like AHHHHH
in conclusion, johnny is so sweet and he cares about you passing but he can't help with certain subjects and that's okay
(a/n) tbh, i suck at math and most science so...
Vincent;
don't. he has never successfully passed any classes or tests on the first try, not in a two bit type of way
but in a he never paid attention in high school way
anyways if you have a different type of major in college like art, art history, or something that doesn't require basic high school skills he might be able to help you
if you need help in like advance math, english, social studies or any science besides forensics, he's calling in maude or lydie
fortunately for you, forensic science is the only class vin enjoyed and paid attention to while he was in high school
vinnie is probably smoking a joint or bowl while you study, and don't worry, he'll offer you hits every so often or he'll half-ass shotgun it to you
but mostly he'll just allow you to sit on his lap so he can sort of help you, but i just wouldn't ask him for help unless you desperately need it
he wants to pass and succeed but he just cannot help you with it
in conclusion, you can ask him for help but you'll probably be better off not asking for it. at least you get to sit on his lap?
Verano;
again, don't
on one hand, verano did pass high school, does that mean he did it with all A's? no.
anyways, the only classes he did well in were art classes and electives like shop class and health
so, if you have a medical major or some creative major, he can sort of help you but otherwise... just don't bother
he's sweet though, hes sort of like dal where he acts all tough and mean out in public but once yall are alone, he's all over you, touching, kissing, cuddling I mean lord
esp when you're studying, he's not helping you in a way thats very helpful but he's defo rewarding you after you get all your work done
hypothetically I wont him so bad
anyways, he isn't all that caring about your education in the way that he is "not another brick in the wall" and he doesn't want you to end up like the thing he hates
there's definitely been some arguments about it but thats for a different time, but he wants to succeed and he just needs to get over himself
in conclusion, he isn't all that helpful but at least you get rewards after. just don't go to him for help, that's it.
THANK YOU FOR READING !!
likes and reblogs are appreciated
please do not repost or steal my work as that is plagiarism and a crime !!
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lienwyn · 9 months ago
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15 questions, 15 people
I was tagged by @clawbehavior! Thank you so much 💜
1. Are you named after anyone?
I am not. My grandmother picked my name to somewhat match my big sister's (we both have names beginning with L) but that's about it.
2. When was the last time you cried?
I guess yesterday? Because my back pain suddenly got ten times worse and sometimes when I tried to move I'd get a stabbing sensation that made me spontaneously start crying. Which is pretty impressive considering that I have a pretty high pain tolerance.
It was also confusing because it wasn't a conscious choice of mine or anything. My body just decided it hurt too much and therefore tears were required. While I was just completely baffled by what was happening because crying from pain isn't something I do very often.
It was an interesting experience.
3. Do you have kids?
Nope.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Not anymore, no. When I was a teenager, it seemed to be the only kind of humour I could actually pull off, but I've been steering away from it more and more. Now I'm saving it for special occasions ;)
5. What's the first thing you notice about people?
I genuinely can't say. I think it depends more on the person I'm seeing/meeting than anything I have control over. Like, with some I might notice their posture, with others it's their hair colour (if it's something very noticeable), with others it's the way they speak.
I really don't have a set order or something I look for first.
6. What's your eye colour?
Greenish blue
7. Scary movie or happy ending?
Happy ending. Always.
8. Any special talents?
I'm really good with my hands and usually excel at most types of crafts or creative pursuits I attempt, from art and sculpturing to sewing, weaving, embroidery, making furniture, baking etc.
I'm also good at reading people and situations, which comes in handy when I write.
9. Where were you born?
In the north of Sweden.
10. What are your hobbies?
Honestly too many to count. But the ones I spend most time on right now are drawing, writing, reading, playing video games, and taking walks.
11. Do you have pets?
Sadly, no :C
But I grew up with dogs and love them to absolute bits. One of my favourite words in Swedish is "hundlängtan" which basically just means "dog longing" or "longing for a dog."
That's me. I am in a perpetual state of longing for a dog.
12. What sports do you/have you played?
Basketball, floorball, and badminton were the most organised, but I also did gymnastics and skiing as a kid.
13. How tall are you?
176 cm (5'9)
14. Favourite subject in high school?
History! Because I had an AMAZING teacher who made it so, so much fun, especially with the ugly little drawings he kept making on the whiteboard. Half of the time, we couldn't even see what he was drawing, but that was a part of the charm.
I also really liked English :)
15. Dream job?
I would honestly love to be an artist or a writer full-time, but I'm too scared (and comfortable with my current salary) to attempt it. But if I could choose without having to take finances into consideration? Definitely an artist or a writer.
I tag: @miss-ingno, @sjazna, @mesaimouse, @a-very-fond-farewell, @fr-wiwiw, @stl29tide, @writingfanficsfan, @k-s-morgan, and whoever else wants to do it! (I really suck at tagging x'D)
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gyaru-wish · 2 years ago
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Subjects I think Yansim character would be good/bad
Ayano: She tries to be average in her notes.
Taro: GENERIC AF. Likes biology, hates math.
Osana: Is good at biology too. Hates history tho.
Amai: Best student at home ec. Isn't really bad at anything.
Kizana: Drama is her best subject, of course. She's bad at chemestry but tries to get good grades.
Oka: She is both good at language and history. She is TERRIBLE in the rest subjects.
Asu: Obviously P.E is her best subject. She is bad at english (Remember guys, Japanese High school)
Osoro: She is one of the best at P.E. She is good at chemestry and physics, tho she hates them.
Hanako: She isn't good at anything. She is too lazy to even open her notebook in classes.
Megami: Guys. Please.
Sakyu: History, sHE KNOWS EVERYTHING. Isn't really bad at anything.
Inkyu: She is good at geography, how? Idk. She is bad at everything that has to do with numbers.
Kuu: Language and history are her best. She hates chemestry and generally science.
Horuda: She just saves language she is bad at the rest.
Kyuji: He is good at math, but he is bad at drama. HE SUCKS IN DRAMA.
Otohiko: This guy is throwing the semester to the trash can.
Hazu: He is good at Home ec. But he is REALLY bad at P.E
Toga: He is actually good at everything and likes all the subjects. Of course this is a little game because that kind of people does not exist.
Raibaru: Good at physics and english (And obviously P.E) It's not like she's terrible but she doesn't like chemestry.
Shoku: Home ec. is his favorite, of course. He is really bad at art tho.
Kenko: He enjoys biology. He isn't very good at music. Yes... Someone whos bad at music, be surprised.
Seiyo: English is his best, he is bad at the rest lol.
Ajia: She is good at social studies generally. She hates english, she won't even try.
Saki: Pretty bad at everything lol.
Tsuruzo: He is good at drama. We know, Tsuruzo. Tho, he is bad at chemestry and physics.
Shozo: He is good at physics and art. He doesn't like math.
Tokuko: She is good at everything until you put a chemestry exam in her desk.
Kokona: She tries her best to have good grades at everything.
Shin: HE SUCKS IN SCHOOL WHAT IS HE EVEN DOING HERE- HE DOESN'T EVEN HAS GOOD GRADES AT DISCIPLINE-
Chojo: He's just good at art. Don't like the rest, won't do the rest.
Daku: It's one of the best at language in shcool. But numbers are his weakness.
Supana: She is good at chemestry but bad at the rest.
Kokuma: She just does music so-so. That's all.
Geiju: Art is the only thing he is good at-
Borupen: He hates school. Mf won't even open the notebook.
Enpitsu: He likes drama. But he has no interest in the rest.
Maka: Don't know how. Like- She magically passes everything-
Efude: Damn, she isn't good at anything either.
Miyuji: YOUR GIRL IS GOOD AT EVERYTHING I LOVE HER SOOOOO MUCH.
Gita: Pretty so-so at everything.
Beshi: Good at language. Bad at math.
Dora: She tries. She just gets distracted by everything. Even a fly.
Kiba: Decent at everything.
Budo: MF IS ONLY GOOD AT P.E-
Sho: Tries to be good to impress girls.
Juku: He is good at english and bad at the rest.
Mina: She is good at everything but has to try harder in english
Shima: She is good at P.E but average at the rest.
Fureddo: He is smart but lazy. So he gets goods grades at tests but is Bad at the rest (Homeworks and projects)
Rojasu: Nah, this dude only slacks off. He sleeping and eating and that's it.
Sukubi: Same with Rojasu. I imagine that when they kick him out of the classroom, he meets Rojasu (who also got kicked out) and they laugh at each other.
Dafuni: She tries her best to be good but it's just boring for her. She studies with Beruma.
Beruma: She is good at social studies. Especially in debates. She isn't bad at anything.
Kaga: My boy is obviously the best at everything. Oh, but he is just into theorical or mathematical stuff. He is not into the rest subjects.
Horo: He is also good at pretty much everything. But he HATES social studies. He gets along very badly in that class because of his opinions in the debates. It's like "What do you mean we can end poverty by killing the poor?"
Yaku: He is good at everything. It happens that he talks and talks and talks with whoever he is. That's why the grades drop a bit.
Meka: She is obviously good at everything except... Drama. She is a bad actress that's it.
Homu: Surprisingly good at everything.
Itachi: He is so so in everything but P.E
Hojiro: He thinks he can only surpass Itachi academically. Still, he is not that good.
Unagi: Dude forgets to study.
Iruka: He is good at geography but bad at language.
Mantaro: He is good at P.E and math. He is bad at biology.
Uekiya: Home ec. And biology are her best. But has weaknesses in chemestry, actually She doesn't like it.
Himari: She is good at geography, but bad with numbers.
Sakura: She tries to not stress herself with school, so she studies everyday and tries to be patient with everything, also tries to not have dislikes in subjects.
Sumire: She is very good at chemestry, but She isn't very good at drama.
Tsubaki: She is good with physics. But... She is a similar case to Horo with social studies, especially debates, she looks to "Kami-sama" as a solution for everything.
Gema: Why do we even look? This guy lives outside the classroom.
Ryuto: He pays no attention to anything at all.
Pippi: When she tries to pay attention, she falls asleep.
Mai: She plays silly so that all the boys help her with the subjects. The girl is very smart.
Midori: Every time she tries to contribute to a class, no one understands her.
Umeji: HAHAHAHSH
Gaku: He pretends not, but he is afraid of losing the semester (He baby) So he secretly studies from his friends and says he fails AJSHAHSHA
Hayanari: He spends time talking to his boyfriend, Hokuto.
Hokuto: He spends time talking to his boyfriend, Hayanari.
Dairoku: Every class he goes ZZZZZZ
Kuroko: Of course she is good at everything. She must be good at everything.
Akane: She saw Mai's technique and copied it.
Shiromi: Somehow, without studying, she wins.
Aoi: She... Let's not disrepect her.
Musume: Unexpected, but she enjoys the debates, only to humiliate the rest with their own arguments. When it's time for math or boring things for her, she spends the class in the bathroom or in the infirmary.
Kashiko: She is good in language class, in fact she has a talent for writing. But she dislikes social studies.
Hana: Neither good nor bad. Still it doesn't matter much for her.
Kokoro: She's good at math, but she doesn't tell too many people so Musume doesn't make fun of her. She's not very good at social studies.
Hoshiko: Pretty much the same as Musume.
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daydreamodyssey · 2 years ago
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15 questions for 15 mutuals
Tagged by @ayzrules thank you!
1. are you named after anyone?
Named after a character from Big Valley lol
2. when was the last time you cried?
Last Wednesday
3. do you have kids?
No. I might like to have some in the future but there's a lot I need stability in
4. do you use sarcasm a lot?
A good bit, but I try to limit it
5. what sports do you play/have you played?
I used to like baseball, dodgeball, and some soccer and basketball even tho I sucked at em
6. what's the first thing you notice about other people?
Physically, anything that stands out like tattoos or piercings.
7. eye color?
Blue
8. scary movies or happy endings?
Both depending on mood, but I usually like happy endings because life is mostly miserable
9. any special talents?
I can roll my tongue like a burrito
10. where were you born?
In the untamed wilds of West Virginia
11. what are your hobbies?
Playing video games, singing, writing, reading, voice acting, researching, nature walking, dancing, drawing, and thinking about romantic stuff
12. do you have any pets?
Yes! A German shepherd who's a lovable dingus
13. how tall are you?
5'4. Ronnie James Dio height
14. fave subject in school?
Alternated with life science, history, art, and English
15. dream job?
I don't even know anymore. Something where I can be creative, researching, and helping people. And with a commute that isn't bad and coworkers bring great
Tagging: @thecrateofaus @howdywrites @druidx @aquadestinyswriting and anyone else interested!
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dark-nekofear · 1 year ago
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tagged by @kukiyuuri ur so sweet ty for the tag <3
ONE. Are you named after anyone?
*Office stare* whatever gave u that impression? :3c
yea my queer ass swiped Roxas' name as my own. I had a major identity crisis after leaving a cult a decade ago so it kinda felt fitting to pick the name with his own history with cults & identity issues hehe
2. When was the last time you cried?
couple days ago, tho I have a very hard time crying anymore. thaaaat's probs not good ^^;; I used to be a huge crybaby.
3. Do you have kids?
thankfully not. I'm enough work as is tyvm
4. What sports do you play? have you played?
I played street hockey with my neighbors quite a bit growing up, tho it was rather short-lived when they suddenly had a problem with playing with a girl (boy do I have news for them). in high school I joined the tennis team. I wasn't stellar at it but I had a blast. wish there were more opportunities to play but that requires other ppl wanting to play.
these days I've been reconnecting with my childhood love of rollerblading. I'm close to being as good as I used to be which is so exciting cuz there's so much I never mastered! so I'm about to cross over into new territory!
5. Do you use sarcasm?
what's sarcasm? ovo
6. What is the first thing you notice about people?
looking at the world thru an artist's lens, I notice things like posture, expression, body language first. which can tell u a lot about a person in the moment without a word being spoken.
7. What's your eye color?
blue! I think they're turning gray as I get older which is kinda cool but also a little sad.
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
depends on my mood; both are good. so long as the story is told well anything goes really.
9. Any talents?
I suffer from the good at the arts but bad at everything modern society deems useful disease. my main talent is probs drawing, writing coming second (if I ever get the spoons to do it again). I'm also decent at singing with my long history with choir & leading worship services.
10. Where were u born?
the most boring place on earth -- the US Midwest. Siri, play "Sidewalks" by Story of the Year.
11. What are your hobbies?
a lot of my free time lately has been getting back into studying languages. I'm mostly focused on Japanese atm but I'm also at an intermediate level in German & conversational in ASL.
I game quite a bit too, primarily retro games. *screaming crying throwing up that PS2-era is now considered retro* seldom do I play things upon release except of KH.
oh, I'm also a casual fashion doll collector (mostly Barbie & Monster High). old media as well (vhs, retro games, music, etc). lost media & preservation of the arts in general really interests me.
I play guitar a bit too but lol I suck at it.
other hobbies previously touched on in earlier q's include drawing, skating, singing & writing. :3c
12. Do you have any pets?
I have a kitty! she's a dilute calico & a huge diva cuz she knows she's gorgeous. she's loud af just like me & loves talking to her fave humans in the sassiest tone possible.
13. How tall are u?
not tall enough. 165cm
14. Favorite subjects in school?
German (easily my best subject), art & English.
15. Dream job?
I've been thinking a lot about circling back to an old dream job. something utilizing my knack for picking up languages. maybe interpreting or teaching? I'd really like to go back to school so I can maybe have a decent shot at something overseas. where? I'm still deciding. being trans kinda complicates it a bit. with that in mind & having several instances of homelessness this past decade I've concluded the US isn't a viable place for me to continue living. I have a unique opportunity to rebuild rn & I intend to utilize it. even if that means allowing my art to return to being just a hobby.
ahh! sorry I'm totally ending this on a bummer note huh? uhh uhh... puppies! think of puppies!! & kitties!!!
anyway, I'll tag uhh... whoever wants to do this? >w<; u can obvi say I tagged ya.
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linaamm · 1 year ago
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I need my therapist, but I can also vent to you guys.
In Norway, it's 2 am. right now, and I can't sleep. I need to study and prepare myself for this massive history test I have next week, but I just can't shut off my head. I can't turn off my thoughts. I keep thinking about everything I slowly keep forgetting in life. Does that make sense in any way?
You see, I'm 28 years old soon, and I have lived the longest life one possibly can imagine at such age. I've lost family to sickness. I've lost dear friends to drugs and violence. I myself have been a victim of brutal domestic violence, and I also lived through unnecessary, unspeakable violence from other people whom i didn't even know the name of.
I've been beaten, done heavy drugs, and I was placed in the system. I've almost died so many times. I've had cancer, countless OD's, and so much self-harm over so many years. I've also been in prison. The only man I ever truly loved with all my heart, who I knew for over half my life, died next to me. Many years later, I was married to a narsissist and thankfully got out.
These are just some of the things I've been so lucky to live through. There's more. I could write a whole book about my life, and I truly believe it would sell well, but I won't. Not because it hurts to think about it, because it does, but because I can't remember. At this point, it has become so much for me to bear that my memory shuts down completely. And even though things are good now and I live a beautiful life, doing good in school and having awesome people around me, it's too late. My brain can no longer keep hold of memories because of all the continuously heavy trauma over so many years. My brain can create new memories, but it let's go of them just as fast as it creates them. I'm not sure what that condition is called in English, but it looks a lot like dementia ("kognitiv hukommelsesvikt" in norwegian if someone is curious). IM 27 YEARS OLD DAMMIT.
I can gladly forget all the bad stuff. But it's not only the bad stuff that at some point will be gone forever. It's also the good stuff. Family vacations, various celebrations with good friends, peoples names and faces, the man I loved so FUCKING much. All the laughs, drinks, hugs, places, EVERYTHING will be gone at some point. I keep getting sadder and sadder because I keep noticing the small, beautiful things I forget in life on a daily basis, and it sucks.
Over the past 6-7 years, I've been writing journals. Almost daily. But not once I could make myself read some of them later on. And I keep lying here until 3 a.m., thinking, why, JUST WHY, do I even bother writing everything down when it's all gonna be gone from my memory at some point? If I were to read these journals again, it won't feel like my memories, it will just be someone's else sad life stories.
So I have no choice but to live in the moment. Accept it and just let go. But it's so fucking sad, and no one can do anything about it. It doesn't help with therapy. It doesn't help to talk about what hurts because i can't remember anymore. It's pitch black. It's only a strange, hurtful, but weirdly familiar feeling that I have that reminds me that all this fucked up shit has happened, nothing more. In a fucked up way, it's fine because I don't get flashbacks or nightmares or diagnoses like PTSD and stuff like that. My brain just shuts it out completely. We've tried to make me remember. The people in white coats tried so hard. But with no luck.
So that kept me up tonight. Shit I can't even remember.
If you red this far, thank you so much for your time. You may think it isn't much, but it really is. I always used to vent here when I first started using this platform, and it helped me so much. 💖
It's now 02:55
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sorcerous-caress · 1 year ago
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Just a lil check in to say hi and see how you’re doing. So how are you doing? I hope you’re doing well! Are you itching to write anything in particular lately?
-ex lurker
I'm doing alright, I'm learning how to manage myself and emotions better.
I have been more leaning towards sfw works recently, I still like smut as the next guy, but there are so many other ideas I want to explore first.
Angst, fluff, drama, character studies especially. I want to show more attention to Laezel, Minthara and Karlach. I feel like I've been focusing on Gale, Shadowheart and Astarion too much recently.
Oh but also dragons, and alternative universes! I've been storming a couple prince Wyll ideas but haven't came up with anything yet.
Thank you for checking in anon, I saw your message too and it made me feel better. How are you doing? I hope you're doing well and all, i hope you're staying safe and healthy.
Real Life events and vent below.
I've been preparing for my niece's birthday, i got he the most beautiful cinderella dress I could afford. Which isn't much but It's something that I hope she likes. Also I never realised how hard it is to get your hands on bts merch until 5 of my nieces suddenly became hard-core fans of them.
My dude it is a major struggle, each time I want to order something then look away for a second, it's suddenly sold out.
But it's eating me up, how my niece gets a safe and happy birthday while newborn children are being taken off life support and forced out of hospitals in Gaza. That video of the kids playiny and sliding on the gaint hole in the street previously made a rocket. I don't think I have the right to call myself human anymore, it's beyond horrific what's been happening to them.
Funny thing is, I have always known about the Palestine conflict, we literally read about it in our history books in schools. I remember being in middle school and going home to ask my parents about it, i remember the teachers tearing up when bringing it up. I remember the clear discussions of the horrors happening right now there.
And all of that was softened up and watered down as much as possible for a kid to comprehend. Much like I had to learn about the major world wars, the Palestine history and the many many treaties that were broken by their colonisers took a whole chapter or more out of the school book.
I can't even begin to describe how important and how aware the middle east is of Palestine even before the current genocide intensified. It's straight up embarrassing and shameful how little the current middle east cares or sends aids for Palestine. After all that history, after all those talks and promises.
The rich ones are pandering to the west for a speck of dust of acceptance, ereasing their own culture just to become nothing more than a vacation spot for foreigners.
If you're wondering why the Palestine people have no-where safe to go to, is because all their arab neighbouring countries closed off their borders to them. So they can deep throat the coloniser's dick more I assume.
As much as my own country is corrupted and fucked up, the one right thing we did is that we never recognised Palestine's colonisers as an actual country and never will.
I learned english as a kid on my own to be able to read uncensored books, Agatha Christie ones. The arabic translations clearly had a lot of plot holes and cut content and it frustrated kid me endlessly.
But I didnt realise it would come at the cost of my own culture. I feel like It made me no better than the arabs who suck up to westerns and put english on a pedestal. The same goes for the rest of my generations, we are all young adults and we couldn't have been more disconnected from our roots.
That's why the westernisation of the middle east was barely met with any resistance from us, the young adults who were supposed to be the front line of defence against corrupt governments. The second I saw them fully celebrating Christmas and using fake snow to pander to the west is the second I realised just how doomed we are. They don't even actually celebrate anything, they're playing dress up with someone else's religion and history.
We have our own celebrations, even our own calander with our own new year yet it's forgotten just for us to act out what we saw in Hollywood and Disney movies.
Our own princess, fairytales and folklore. Yet I still bought that Cindrella dress for my niece.
To add insult to injury, the closet thing to a traditional arab princess dress in that store was akin to a caricature of a bellydancer dress.
I'm not better than them. Indirectly or not, all of our combined actions had a hand in dooming Palestine, in dooming our brothers and sisters.
And Christmas will come, and the same arab countries who didn't allow women the legal right to drive a car until 2017-2018, would celebrate it alongside the world. Pretending it's one of them, pretending it's not like its "terrorist" sister countries so please please pick me up foreigners!!
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cutepervert · 1 year ago
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ty to @tigertofu for the tag <3 dont have many friends on here yet but i'll tag the people that i can think of off the top of my head, @rreskk @chloe12801 @heisentwerk
Were you named after anyone?
not as far as I can tell. my mom likes to say im named after julius caesar but i think shes lying
Do you have kids?
no and have noooo interest it is simply not for me i think
Use sarcasm a lot?
yes, less so on the internet but irl i do a LOT
First thing you notice 'bout people?
it's hard to pick out one thing because i often interpret the totality of a person (like their vibe ig?) before i focus on any details. this is not to say that i dont focus on details i absolutely do but that's often long after i've determined the person has an interesting vibe based off their outfit/the way they carry themselves/etc
Eye color?
hazel. i think? like a light brown with greenish bits in the central heterochromia zone
Scary movies or happy ending?
hard to say tbh! I like a neat ending (not necessarily a happy one) and both scary movies and 'happy ending' movies tend to have neat endings (or at least neat enough to set-up for a sequel LOL). I like both, it all kinda depends on my mood
Special talent?
oh i struggle so hard with this question... like, i have several things i am moderately good at (writing, drawing, et cetera) but ive never been especially skilled or talented at a single thing like other people are. jack of all trades master of none that's the kinda bitch i am. also sidenote but i think talent isn't real. if it is real it describes nothing but someones desire to practice a given thing which then makes them good at it. nobodys born good at shit. prodigies are fake and they are all lying to u!!!!
Your hobbies?
lol. hobbies... what are those! no frfr i play video games write fanfic and once in a while when i have the energy to set up a workspace i like doing very hands-on sculptural art like papier mache and clay sculpture.
Any pets?
no i wish :( want a cat so bad but our aint shit landlord (who tbf is usually really fine and normal and chill so i guess there had to be ONE THING at least that sucked abt him) said no
Playing any sport?
LOL. no. fuck sports..... except i like watching basketball because those men are freaks of nature in the best way and i like to imagine in ancient times we'd have them do feats of strength like climbing up a very steep mountain face. i just love those lengthy boys. kevin durant especially is such an extruded guy every time he falls during a game (which as it turns out is way more often than i thought) im like okay this time his legs have to have snapped in half. and they dont! probably because he drinks his milk or w/e. takes him vitamines. wild shit. anyway yeah i dont do sports
How tall..?
5'7 last time i checked.... imo the perfect height. not too short not too tall but also not too medium. on the tall side of medium sized. love being this height.
Favourite subject in school?
hard to say bc it depended so much on the teacher but i loved most of my english classes and a good amount of my history classes. history is sooo girlypop to me like we're truly just sharing 100+ year old gossip like it's not nosy as fuuuuuck
Dream job:
i do not dream of labor but i think the ideal job for me is one that doesn't feel like it's sucking 100% of my soul out my mouth (will settle for like 30 to 50% soul sucking) and hopefully serves to help other people through creative expression (because i dont know how to do anything else LMAO). i basically have that job rn but it's still Hard and Annoying so i suppose nothing will ever b perfect
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nanjokei · 2 years ago
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what are your fave mobile games??
to be honest i don't really play that many at the same time but ill talk historically, it makes the most sense anyway. btw this got really long
OG show by rock - one of the most fun mobage rhythm games EVER, the portait orientation 3 button setup looked deceptively easy but it has some of the most evil, vile beatmaps ive ever seen in a mobile game. AND THAT'S CRAZY!!! never gonna forgive sanrio for killing it and making its successor a shitty bandori clone (og sb69 was bound to die anyway bc it had insane rarity creep, but the cheap seeming bandori clone successor that didn't even have half the original bands at the time of EoS two years into launch was a huge slap to the face). the art in the cards was so much more charming than the ones in the new game, they weren't bad but you, me, her, he, them, everyone, we all KNOW what had more soul. i think the only thing the new game had over the old one is the interactive aspect via the homescreen live2d. also cause yasu was in it
fate/grand order - still my forever game, its a game where i dont feel pressure to do anything, you can use anyone you love. i can stop playing for weeks and come back and not feel an insane sense of FOMO which is an issue with a lot of newer mobage. i think a lot of people outsource their opinion on fgo exclusively from negative opinions which makes me kinda sad. the story is great, you can pick up the game at any time, and to those who find that kind of thing important: farming gems is easy. i say give it a shot yourself. ofc there are questionable things given the original source and its origins, not to mention the premise. but i do believe that despite its flaws i think people should reevaluate it fairly and not base it on the time they downloaded NA for 10 minutes and didn't roll an ssr right away after 20 rolls.
mahoutsukai no yakusoku - i'll be honest i have chosen not to play the game properly until an english version comes out bc i do not want to play a clicker in a language i am not very proficient in. HOWEVER. unironically one of the best stories i've read in mobage history, characters are great, i think it has wide appeal and the devs seem to understand that "joseimuke" paradoxically is something that can be enjoyed by all kinds of people (also it is a series that is kind to both fujoshi and yumejoshi. coexisting peacefully afaik). super recommend the story if you like magic, worldbuilding and interesting characters!!! bunta is a great writer. im a fan of idolish7 as well so i can vouch (also you can select your protag's gender which isn't crazy but in a game like this, i super appreciate it)
#compass - horrible game don't play this
love live school idol festival - i want you idol twitter and adjacent cunts to put respect to her name. RESPECT. SIF has never gotten her flowers from any of you facetious little slimeballs and you can deny it all you want but not only was this the blueprint but it also was probably what got you into the things you like in the first place. in a world where every other rhythm game is a bandori clone, i smile knowing SIF2 will keep the spirit of SIF alive (hopefully). the cards were cute, mu's discography is certified classic and anyone denying it in 2023 hates fun, and despite how archaic it was and its MANY flaws, i believe firmly that it deserves respect not only as an idol game but as a mobage in general. it really broke ground being localized when it was.
nikke - definitely top 10 most shocking things of the century that i played this and am still playing. its uh, very flawed, the wall sucks and once you hit that plateau in power level the struggle to catch up to content power walls is kinda depressing, but it has a lot of heart that keeps me logging in and talking to my girls. it's still unabashedly horny (though its a trick actually, a lot of the characters are more covered up than expected and it REALLY pisses a lot of the game's fanbase off), but i'm really enjoying the story. i think my pleasant surprise is so insanely high that it deserves a spot on here-- i think if you let it cook it mostly won't disappoint you. i love most of the characters :) korean kamige
argonavis AAside - i miss you. argonavis still lives, so i do not mourn what is living, but dabues was a special little game because it did not contain the evils of bandori. the gacha was fair, the spark ceiling was 100 rolls(!), but it was mismanaged from the start, fuck dena. im sad the new game will be a clicker but i will be there for argonavis no matter what. was pretty much what garupa should strive to be in terms of A GAME but unfortunately such days do not come to pass.
honorable mention cause its EOSing soon probably and im too bitter to talk about it positively rn given the current shitshow the jp version is in (ily global): vanguard zero, also megido72 because i only started playing it in december but im enjoying it a lot so far. i guess dream!ing also gets a mention. i will not elaborate
this is a postscript but i've played a lot of kusoge for tapjoy rewards and let me tell you. people playing regular well known japanese/korean/chinese mobage do not know the shit and crap that comes from the dregs of the play/app store. you do not know what a kusoge is until you've grinded earnestly and faithfully in shit like state of survival for an entire month. after those experiences i have Truly learned what it means to be a shit game
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hellsaint7w7 · 3 months ago
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(4) Witchcraft
••Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh!••
Full disclosure, I have only ever watched the OG anime (English dub because I legitimately can't find the Japanese version no matter what platform I check), and I haven't seen/read anything else. So if I have characters wrong because they act differently in the manga or movies or other series, I am sorry.
Potential Trigger Warnings:
Ritualistic sacrifice, descriptions of injury and death, and psychological horror.
—————
Third Person POV
Bakura sat on the bench as he usually did, reading his book. The weight of the Millennium Ring hung around his neck, he didn't bother hiding it despite the fact someone might want to steal it. All his attention was focused on the book in his hands.
He didn't like sports very much and he had no friends. Some people around him were playing Duel Monsters and don't get it wrong, Bakura also loved Duel Monsters and spent hours and hours researching it, but he had 3 cards to his name and no one to play with anyway. Bakura stuck to himself, he always did.
"Hey, I saw a symbol like that before!" Shouted someone, sitting next to Bakura. The teenager was so shocked to be talked to that he didn't register what the blonde said. And when he did, he had to think hard to realize what he meant. "Your necklace! My friend has a cool necklace just like it. But different, more triangular and bulkier."
Bakura took a moment to mentally reset. How long had it been since he last said a single word? "O-Oh, yes. My father bought it for me."
"Oh, you do talk! People say you're mute." The other teenager said. "I am Joey."
"I am Ryo Bakura." He said, shaking the blonde's hand.
"What are you reading?"
Instead of answering, he closed the book and turned it for Joey to see the cover. It was a book about the origins of monster legends. Specifically, it was about ghosts and Doppelgängers.
"Jeez, isn't that scary? And it's kinda weird to be reading at school." Joey said.
"Are you scared of ghosts, Joey?" Bakura asked playfully. Immediately, Joey's attitude changed.
"What? No! No, of course not. Not at all. It's just a silly book anyway." Joey said. He stared at the book's cover once again. "What's a... Doppelgänger?"
"It's German for double walker or double ghost, and it's said that everyone has a Doppelgänger in the world; someone unrelated to you that looks similar if not identical." Bakura said. Joey nodded, listening intently. It was nice to have someone to talk to about this stuff, he never had that before. "However it's said that if you see your Doppelgänger, your life is marked."
The look on Joey's face was priceless. Bakura had been researching this stuff so much that he became numb to it, but this was amazing. He liked talking about things that interested him, even if his throat hurt from talking so much.
"And... Is that real? Like... uh..."
"Who knows?" Bakura said mischievously.
"What else do you got in that spooky book of yours?" Joey asked.
When the bell finally rang after several minutes, Bakura's voice was gone. He'd spoken more in that one conversation than he did in the entire last two months. But Joey was fun and listened to him ramble.
  "Which class are you going to next?" Joey asked as Bakura put away his book.
  "Uh... E1. Japanese history." Bakura said.
  "E1?! I had that teacher last year and she sucks!" Joey said. "I turned in a paper the next day after it was due and she threw it in the trash can! And then she took 4 months just to grade our tests."
  "Yeah, I am not the biggest fan of hers either, but I have a good grade in that class so I can't complain." Bakura said.
  "Yeah, well- Ah!" Joey moved to put his hand in his pocket, but then his Duel Monster's cards fell out and all over the hallway. "Oops!"
  Bakura and Joey quickly bent down to collect all the cards. He picked up one off the floor and looked at it before adding it to the group he'd already picked up. "Alligator Sword? That's a nice card. Pretty good attack and defense."
  "Do you like Duel Monsters too?" Joey asked, eyes metaphorically glowing.
  "Yeah, I do. I haven't played before because I don't have a lot of cards, but I read a lot about it. I've also seen most Duel Monsters competitions if they were uploaded to the internet."
  "So you're a Duel Monsters nerd too? You'd be great friends with this buddy of mine, Yugi. Have you met him?"
  "No, I think I have heard his name before... we might share some classes." Bakura said.
  "Next time I see you, I'll introduce the two of you. Anyways, we need to hurry to class."
  Bakura nodded and they parted ways. He didn't end up seeing Joey for the rest of the day. After Japanese history, he had one more class before the day ended.
  When Bakura got home, it was deafeningly silent. With a sigh, he dropped his backpack on the couch and took out his homework. He needed to do his homework first before he did literally anything else. If he even thought about doing something else first, like getting something to eat or taking a shower, he'd completely forget about his homework. So that's what he did.
  He finished his homework and took a shower before sitting on his bed to read. Hours ticked by in silence. Only Bakura's breathing and the flipping of pages filled the space. Usually the quiet didn't bother him as much, but after today he felt suffocatingly alone. Which he was of course. His father was almost always gone, he left for days at a time and was only home to shower and sleep before leaving again. It started when Bakura was about 7 years old and got worse the older he got.
  When he couldn't take the quiet anymore, he turned on the tv for background noise and started making dinner. Even that wasn't enough to take away the loneliness, but at least he was distracted. The bright side was that he went to bed excited to go to school tomorrow.
-
  Bakura woke up in the dead of night, and he had no idea where he was. There were trees all around him and he was soaked to the bone. It was raining! Why was he out here?
  The last thing he remembered was falling asleep on the couch. Being in the middle of the woods was completely impossible! You'd be walking for a good 3 or 4 hours just to get out of the city or else you'd need to drive here. Bakura didn't remember even leaving the house! This had to be some weird dream.
  A stick cracked and Bakura snapped his head around to see what made it. It was dark. Rain poured all around, mud and drowned grass clung to his shoes. Not even the starlight could touch the forest floor, just intense darkness that seemed to swallow him whole.
  "Hello?" Bakura said quietly. He didn't really want a response, but if it was an animal then his voice would scare it away.
  The rain continued to hit the ground and the trees, a constant flow of noise without disruption. Bakura's eyes were locked on the dark bushes, trying to make out shapes. His mind started to play tricks on him, but anything he thought he saw was gone when he blinked.
  And then he heard something behind him. Bakura turned around as quickly as he could and suddenly felt his breath robbed from him. Ice filled his veins even as red hot tears bloomed in his eyes. Standing in the dark was him.
  A Doppelgänger.
  Bakura ran as fast as he could. The cold stung his eyes as he ran and he kept getting caught on branches and twigs. Breath was pulled from his lungs in a constant stream and he couldn't seem to get it back. No matter how hard he tried to suck in oxygen, he never seemed to have enough.
  Water and mud splashed his pants, he must look like a mess. All around were noises, so many noises. The forest suddenly seemed alive, as though the trees wanted to ensnare him.
  His arm caught on a branch and he felt his skin tear. A startled cry left his mouth as he stumbled to the ground. Mud soaked his clothes, it splashed his already icy cold face.
  Bakura scrambled onto his back and turned around to see if he was still being followed. His breath came in heavy waves, the darkness was thicker than fog. Thicker than blood. All he could do was stare, he couldn't even blink.
  And suddenly, a golden glow blinded him. His necklace was floating in midair and glowing, burning his eyes with the sudden light and faintly illuminating the Doppelgänger behind the ring. Bakura made a pathetic noise, but he couldn't move. The only warmth he felt was blood dripping down his arm and pain pulsing through him with each beat of his heart.
  "Don't you know, Landlord?" The voice asked. His voice. A slivery smile emerged from the darkness, plastered on his own face and bathed in golden light. "You can't run from yourself."
-
  Bakura gasped, sitting up quickly. He glanced around with wild eyes and saw that he was back in his living room. Some horror movie was playing on the tv at a low volume.
Slowly, he calmed down. That had to be a dream, an absolutely crazy dream. Maybe he should stop reading about scary things.
The nightmare felt so real though. Bakura got up from the couch and went to wash his face. The details were beginning to fade as cool water hit his skin. And so, he decided to get dressed and ready for school.
He changed from his home clothes to his school uniform, looking outside the window to see that it was later than he normally woke up. Maybe his alarm didn't go off. That's not too uncommon, he'd knocked his alarm off the nightstand enough times that if the cheap alarm started malfunctioning it wouldn't be surprising.
But then Bakura looked at the Millennium Ring sitting on the counter. A sudden shiver of fear ran down his spine as he remembered the nightmare. It was ridiculous to be scared of a piece of jewelry! Reminding himself that it was just a dream, he grabbed it and put it on. This time, he hid it under his shirt.
Now that he was ready for the day, skipping breakfast because he usually did anyway, he left for school. He walked a little faster so that he wouldn't be late. But for some reason, perfect attendance wasn't the biggest thing on his mind.
-
Today when he saw Joey again, the blonde introduced Bakura to his friends. He'd seen them all before, but never spoke with them. Bakura was more than anxious to meet them, but the fear faded quickly. They were all so nice and fun to hang out with.
He watched Yugi and Anzu play Duel Monsters together. Occasionally, his eyes drifted to the Millennium Puzzle that Yugi had around his neck, he'd never seen another Millennium item before. Bakura idly wondered how many of these weird items there were in the world as he watched the two play.
"I don't think I can win with the cards I have." Anzu sighed. She played a card face down. "That's all I have."
"I'll play Dark Magician," Yugi started, placing the card on the desk. "And then I'll attack your Fairy Dragon with dark magic attack."
"My face down card is the trap Waboku which prevents me from having my monsters destroyed this turn." Anzu said, flipping her card over to show the art on it.
From where Bakura was sitting, he could see Anzu's cards. She truly didn't have any card that could protect her. Most of them were monster cards that weren't strong enough to take out the dark magician and she was quickly running out of cards to play. So it wasn't crazy when Yugi won on his next turn.
"Good game." Yugi said.
"Yeah, I tried." Anzu laughed.
"Hey, Bakura, do you play Duel Monsters?" Yugi asked. Bakura hadn't expected to be talked to and was caught off guard. Only for Joey to step in.
"He's a big Duel Monster's nerd! I am sure he can play well!" Joey said.
"I appreciate that, Joey, but I don't have many cards." Bakura said. "I think I have three or four cards and I left them at home."
"Oh, my Grandpa owns a game store where he sells Duel Monsters cards." Yugi said. "You can always come by and buy some!"
"Really? I'd like that. I love Duel Monsters." Bakura said.
"You could come with us after school." Honda said. "We were heading there anyway."
"Oh... I'd love to, but I don't have the money for it right now." Bakura said. The only money he had came from his father whenever he'd occasionally stop by. His father hadn't been home in 3 months and his money was running dangerously low. "I could go with you guys, but I can't buy anything."
"Alright, that's fine. We can just hang out." Yugi said kindly. He was a very nice guy. Bakura was grateful to be invited, he liked having friends. It was something he wasn't used to.
-
  Bakura couldn't remember the last time he had this much fun. He had a great time with the group at the game store, he even had dinner with them even though he felt bad he couldn't pay for himself. Yugi's Grandpa even gave him a free card. He went home very happy that night.
When he laid down, homework completely forgotten, he was ready to sleep. Until pain started radiating from his arm. He sat up, completely confused, and pulled up his shirt sleeve.
There was a cut on his arm. It wasn't bone deep or anything, but it stung. Fear ran through him.
It wasn't possible. He didn't remember getting cut all day long. But last night...
Bakura shook his head and laid down, squeezing his eyes closed. He couldn't believe that was real. He didn't WANT to believe it. Maybe he'd deal with it tomorrow. Or maybe not.
It took a while to get to sleep. When he did he had no dreams, not really. There were vague images of Yugi's puzzle floating through his mind, but they left soon after. And when he woke up, he was even more tired than before he went to sleep. But his alarm was going off, so it was time to go to school.
He got ready for school in a daze. Bakura was so tired that he wasn't thinking straight. Terror plagued his thoughts. There were only a few answers to explain what was happening to him and the most logical answer was that he was going crazy. It was the only thing that made logical sense, but if this wasn't something logical than it was somehow even worse.
Bakura tried hard to distract himself, and for a while it worked. Days past without anything else happening. He threw himself into studying even harder, whether it was for school or the occult. He checked out a lot more books from the public library, Bakura wrote down things that didn't make sense so he could research it later, he also wrote down things that may pertain to what he experienced. And for a while, things seemed normal again. Sure, sometimes he'd wake up on the couch when he fell asleep in bed (or vice versa) and sometimes things in his house would move around for no reason (like when he lost his backpack for a week but found it stuffed under his bed) but he could always dismiss that as sleep walking or forgetfulness.
But one day, he woke up feeling so miserable that he regretted waking up. Bakura fell off the couch and slowly got up. His legs hurt, his knee felt scraped, but his face felt worse.
He walked to his bathroom, his vision blurred, and looked into the mirror. The entire left half of his face was bruised. It looked like Bakura had been hit in the face by something heavy. His eye was bloodshot, he was starved and his mouth was dry. It felt like he hadn't eaten, drank, or slept in months on top of being beaten. What the hell happened to him?
Bakura didn't think he could go to school, which is why he was glad that today was Sunday. He dragged himself back to the couch and debated getting something to eat. He was starving, but that meant having to get up and cook which he didn't feel well enough to do. Slowly, he closed his eyes and let his head fall to the back of the couch. Good half of his face pressed against the soft-ish fabric, it was hard to not sleep.
A few minutes later, he woke up with a jolt and looked around wildly. Whatever woke him up stopped. Maybe a loud car?
With a sigh, he turned on the tv. It was on some news station. "That's all the updates I have on the ongoing situation here. Back to you in the studio for the weather." The anchor said.
"Thanks Cameron. Today, we have rain advisory from today all the way to Friday." She said. Bakura idly looked at the screen, but then fear hit him. The screen showed that today was Monday.
Bakura sat up. How was that possible?! Yesterday was Saturday! How did he somehow skip an entire day? Maybe this head trauma caused him to forget what happened yesterday?
Oh god, who was he kidding? This was bad and denying it was only making things worse. His eyes filled with helpless tears.
Miserably, he got up from the couch and got ready to go to school. He was already late, so he didn't rush, but he didn't know what else to do. He nearly laughed at how ridiculous it seemed to go to school after all this, but he didn't know what else to do.
He got stared at when he went to school, but no one said anything. That is until Joey came up to him as he was reading in the hallway. And by 'reading' I mean staring at the page because he was too distracted to process the words.
"Hey, Bakura!" Joey said. Concern flashed in his eyes when he saw the bruise on Bakura's face.
"Oh, hey, Joey." Bakura said.
"What happened to your face? That looks painful." Joey said. Bakura couldn't talk for a moment before he closed his book.
"I don't know." He said honestly.
"You don't know?" Joey asked. Bakura shook his head. It was the truth, a truth he didn't want to accept. Joey looked a little uncomfortable, but he sat down on the floor with Bakura. "Uh... You know you can tell me if something happened. I may not look like it, but no one keeps a secret better than Joey Wheeler."
Bakura felt confused for a moment. He'd never heard Joey speak so sweetly. It was nice, Bakura needed someone to be nice to him today. But it was very confusing. And suddenly it hit him. Did Joey think this was a domestic issue?
"That's very sweet of you, Joey, and I appreciate it very much. But I don't think you and me are on the same page." Bakura said. Now Joey looked confused. Could you blame him? What could Bakura even tell Joey? He didn't know what was going on. And if told Joey about all this craziness, would the other believe him? Maybe he'd think Bakura is losing it (which he might be) and leave him alone again. Bakura didn't want to be alone again. "There are periods where my memory blacks out and I don't remember anything. Yesterday it-... yeah. I wish I could tell you more, but it's not what you're thinking."
He didn't want to look at Joey. That was such a non-answer, avoiding the question. But for the most part, it was true, he was just leaving out a few details. Still, he stared at the ground so that he didn't have to see Joey's expression.
"Well... that's alright. How about we go to the nurses office and get you an ice pack or something?" Joey suggested.
Bakura was a little surprised. Joey wasn't prying for answers and instead was offering a good idea for the pain. He couldn't help but smile and nod.
-
There had to be some explanation. Bakura thought about it as he walked home. If he was going crazy, he might as well go completely crazy. Maybe confronting 'it' was the best option.
Bakura was good at ignoring things. He could pretend everything was fine startlingly well. He could pretend his dad cared about him, he could pretend like he wasn't haunted by memories of a family that no longer existed in this world, and if he pretended hard enough he could almost imagine his family at home waiting for him. Confronting things wasn't what he did. He never asked why his dad was always gone, he didn't ask why his world had been so cruel, he just pretended it wasn't. And maybe if he kept pretending, these weird blackouts and strange dreams would become normal too.
But he didn't want that. He didn't want any of this to become 'normal'.
  He closed the door to his empty apartment and dropped his backpack on the couch. Bakura looks around, but he doesn't know what he expected to see. Awkwardly and more than a little nervous, he cleared his throat before he spoke.
  "Whatever is going on, spirit or Doppelgänger, just talk to me. What do you want?" He asked out loud. He pulled the Millennium Ring out from where it was hidden and stared into the eye. "I don't know what's going on, but maybe we could help each other? There must be a reason why you're doing this."
  Silence. Cars, wind, and then...
  "Did you figure that out on your own, or did someone tell you?" Said a sarcastic voice. His own voice. Bakura looked over and saw someone who looked like him, the Doppelgänger from his dream. His Doppelgänger had darker skin and different eyes, plus the scar over his eye, but other than that he looked like Bakura.
  "Who are you?" Bakura asked.
  "My name is Bakura."
  "Well, that doesn't really help our situation."
  The Doppelgänger blinked in surprise before he laughed. "You actually have a sense of humor? That's surprising." He said.
  "Just call me Ryo, and I'll call you Bakura." Ryo said. The Doppelgänger nodded and leaned against the wall. This was all so strange. "What is it that you want?"
  "I don't remember much of my past, my memories are slow to return, but I do remember that I need to acquire the 7 Millennium items. Like the one around your neck that I currently possess." Bakura said.
  "Like the one Yugi has?"
  "Yes. But I can't just steal them, I need to win them in a duel." Bakura said. "And I don't care whether you help me or not, but I need to get those items back where they belong."
  Ryo stared at the Doppelgänger for a moment. He wanted some jewelry back? By the sounds of it, they were once his anyway. If that was all, he had no issue helping out.
  "As long as no one is hurt, I'll help you out." Ryo said. Bakura smiled and nodded. "That includes me. I don't want to keep waking up with bruises."
  "That was an accident." The spirit said. "I wouldn't intentionally injure our body."
  'Our body'. That phrase sent a creeping chill of wrongness down Ryo's spine. Of course it made sense that they shared a body now, but it just felt wrong.
  "Look, I am not happy about this either." Bakura said. Ryo blinked. Did he say that out loud? "I would prefer to have my own body too, but we need to compromise."
  "Can you read my mind or something?"
  "No, but your dopey face tells me all I need to know. You look like a frightened rabbit."
  Ryo quickly wiped the emotions from his face, feeling more than a little embarrassed. No one has ever told him how easily readable his facial expressions were. Was that true or was the spirit just very good at social queues?
  "Listen, I don't want to be here anymore than you want me here. The second I get the Millennium items, I'll have the power that I deserve and you'll have your body back." His demeanor suddenly changed to be much more serious. There was an anger in his eyes that terrified Ryo.
  "Alright, fine. We have a deal then. No one gets hurt, and everyone gets what they want." Ryo said, his body was completely stiff as if the spirit might attack him at any moment.
  "Then we have a deal."
-
  With every day that passed, Bakura gained more of his memories and with it came his lust for revenge. When he was first awoken, all he knew was Ryo. The child was the barer of his ring in which his soul existed. He knew the child's name, he knew he wanted to get something back, and he knew that he died some 5,000 years ago.
  After that, memories started to come back. Through Ryo's books he saw stone buildings and tablets that awoke something deep inside. The place was called Egypt and he was born there.
  Soon, when he and Ryo were at the graveyard for Mother's Day, another memory unlocked. He remembered his own mother and his father, and most of all his baby sister.
  Even standing in a field of death, Bakura felt peace as he relived those memories. He closed his eyes and could almost smell home. It was like he could feel the stone under his feet.
  "Remember to be careful of her head, Bakura." His mother said. Bakura could feel the weight of his sister in his arms. "That's it. She'll grow up looking up to you, you need to be a good big brother and protect her."
  He remembered what his home looked like, how it smelled, and the people in his home. And for a moment he felt more content and sure of himself than he ever did. And then of course confusion set in. Why did he feel such a strong pull to revenge when he had everything he could ever want right here with him? (In the past of course)
  After that day, the nightmares started. Bakura couldn't sleep anymore because anytime he closed his eyes or let his mind wander, all he could hear were screams. The smell of blood was so strong that it made him gag.
  "No, please! Not my daughter, please, she has done nothing wrong!" His mother cried. Bakura couldn't move but tears fell from his eyes as he watched from inside of the chest he hid in.
  "Let go of the child!" The soldier shouted. He stomped on the woman's arm, making it crunch. Bakura's mother cried, but just curled up around his sister to protect her. "In the name of the Pharaoh, you will relinquish your souls to us, you foul demons!"
  In the name of the Pharaoh. The Pharaoh. You foul demons.
  He watched as his mother and sister were dragged out of the house. Bakura couldn't move, not until he heard the screams of the other villagers fade in the distance. All the sudden, his pathetically weak voice worked.
  "N-No, wait..."
  Bakura got out of his hiding place and followed the glow of torches retreating further into the night. He kept out of sight but remained close. Everyone he'd ever known was funneled into an underground area, the smell of blood was so thick that he couldn't breathe.
  The images were burned into his mind. Each and every one of them were sacrificed, beheaded. The stones under him ran red with blood and the aura of death. Bakura couldn't move.
  He was too weak, too young. What was a child to do about an army sent by the Pharaoh? And so he did what any pathetic coward would do: he ran. He ran into the night crying like a baby. Because he wasn't strong enough.
  Never again. Never again! He promised himself he'd never be weak again, he'd have the Pharaoh's head on a pike.
  "Spirit?" Ryo said.
  "What?" Bakura snapped, pulled from his unpleasant thoughts. Ryo flinched.
  "Jeez, all I did was try to get your attention. You've been glaring holes in the wall for thirty minutes." Ryo said.
  Bakura huffed in annoyance and crossed his arms roughly. "Who cares? I need those Millennium items. I need them, but what can I do? I need a plan."
  The horrors of the Massacre of Kul Elna was his and his alone. Cursed upon him by the Pharaoh, the Pharaoh who got to sleep peacefully at night even knowing what he did. Bakura couldn't stand for this. He needed to make him suffer. Bakura's anger was alive, it had a pulse and was burning in his chest, demanding royal blood.
  "You're going to drive yourself insane if that's all you think about, Bakura." Ryo said.
  "Who cares?! Who cares about any of this?!" He shouted with far more rage than he had before. Ryo recoiled, startled by the spirit's outburst. What happened to them working together? Something must have pissed the spirit off.
  Just as Ryo thought that, the spirit grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. Suddenly, gold flooded Ryo's vision as the Millennium Ring started pulsing. As if the ring had a heart beat.
  "We have work to do, Ryo. And I'll make that foul beast that calls himself 'Pharaoh' relinquish his soul!" The spirit said. Unhinged laughter was the last thing to echo through Ryo's head before the world went dark and silent.
(4935 Words.)
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seongminiz · 8 months ago
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ugh the jungmo thing u said.. so real (but yeah i’m also over here thinking hyunjae brainrot<333 i would say i have a love hate relationship with him he and juyeon are my twin bfs hyunjae is my devil n juyeon is my angel ummmm that sounds (more) insane (than usual) but i hope u get me 🫣😔)
nd thank u for ur support! i need to keep drabbling in my notes until i have smth concrete enough i could post 🥴🥴
so just for u.. jungmo hate-fuck brainrot?? <333
he gives me major loser perv vibes too but like imagine he’s like.. a guy u need in high school or smth. maybe u had the same friends but like u two weren’t besties or anything. he’s a bit of a loser. u all thought he was a virgin for most of high school (and most of college too?) but he’s definitely trying he just doesn’t have the best luck :( poor fella.
so as you’ve been two of the only ppl to stay consistent in ur friend group, you’ve gotten to know each other a bit better and often tease/make fun of each other and usually it’s light but u can cut a little deep but normally ur both fine with it and go back n forth. but maybe one day he says smth way off n maybe it’s about ur sexual history don’t ask me for specifics cuz i can’t think of it rn but yeah he pisses u tf off!!! and u say smth nasty back about how he’s a loser virgin and that’s it. u don’t talk to him for a while after that.
but then u meet again at a party. blah blah blah (sorry i’m typing this really fast) he’s being nice (enough) and then maybe after a couple drinks nothing too crazy he’s on u and proposing to “kiss n makeup”. whoever cums first has to admit they’re wrong and forgive the other one but at the end u both have to move on anyways. don’t ask me why it jumped to this i’ve been to like 1 party idk what goes on there. this type of shit i think.
so then ur in a spare bedroom or worse. a closet. touching up on each other and ur trying to make him cum as fast as possible n he’s trying to do the same to you. so it goes crazy, you try to get his pants off to suck him off but he like doesn’t want that?? cuz he knows he’s going to explode all over ur face if u do that so… <33 he’s slapping ur hands out of the way to dive his hand under the waistband of ur shorts, pushing ur underwear aside to insert a finger into you, finding you already wet so he mocks u of course “this is just business.. why’re you soaked..” and then would mock your moans when he adds another finger, beginning to pump them in and out, holding his breath so you can hear the way ur arousal squelches around his digits.
- 🧁 anon
yes i completely get u‼
N OMG WHERE DO I EVEN START WTF DID I JUST READ /pos 0-0
(side note i've never been to any party so ik even less than u do abt them ! 😀👍🏻)
jungmo literally making it his life goal to make u cum first aaaaaaaaaa fingering u so good until u almost froget what started all this in the first place , until u r abt to cum n jungmo (being the little shit he is) makes u beg for it just to feed his ego a little more </3 ofc he won't tease too much bc he doesn't want u to try n retaliate against him so it wont take long before he gives in to ur pleads n lets u cum :3
(once again this isn't written half as decently as it was when i thought in my head idk the thoughts r not thoughting n the english isnt englishing tonight 💔💔💔)
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1-deadgirlwalking-1 · 10 months ago
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3/23/2024
i woke up and then went back to sleep again a few times, i actually woke up at around 3pm. my head hurts and i feel very sluggish. i was productive yesterday, i did the dishes two times, put my laundry in the wash, took a shower, and started my late schoolwork. but today i am not. today i am a blob.
i don't feel like doing anything but i think it's only because my head hurts. i'm getting better though. sometimes i feel bad because i'm like "the other day i was doing so good but today i suck" but my bad days used to be my good days, and my absolute worst days used to be my normal. i'm getting better. i can see the progress as it's happening. and that's good. i still don't brush my teeth hardly ever though, even on my good days. today my teeth are hurting because of that.
anyway i've been learning kana. the only ones i have memorized are あ い う え お き く ア イ ウ エ and オ. which isn't a lot but it's a start. i get very happy whenever i click on a japanese video and am able to recognize characters in the title or subtitles.
i also got signed up for my classes next year. right now i have all A's, my highest grade is 100% my lowest is 90%, so my counselor was encouraging me to take all the honors and AP classes i'm eligible for, but i couldn't say that the only reason my grades are stellar right now is because of me cheating on everything. i don't know hardly any of the material we've learned this year. i finally got a notebook for math class and i'm planning on going through all of my old math lessons and writing everything down so i can actually remember it all. spring break is coming up so that will give me extra time.
for next year i'm signed up for algebra 2, honors english, honors biology, AP history, and japanese. i'm eligible for honors algebra but i'm hesitant on taking it because i'm afraid of getting bad grades, i still have some time to decide. i'm also going to sign up for dual enrollment and if i'm eligible, the two classes i take will replace whichever high school ones i'm signed up for now.
my mom thinks i should take german because i am part german (ethnically) and no one in our family can speak a lick of german, it's been completely forgotten in our family now. and my dad thinks i should take spanish because we're american and that's the most logical to learn. but i don't want to do either of those. i was already planning on learning japanese and my school has a japanese class. why would i not take that?? the only downside is both my family and guidance counselor now think i want to learn japanese because i like anime and that feels extremely slanderous. T^T
i have 7 late assignments to do today. which is a lot for me. but last year i had 60+ late assignments at one point, so it's not that bad.
im typing this last bit out later !!! today started out bad but ended good. i watched mlp and drew myself as a pegasus pony, the anatomy and proportions wasnt correct on some parts but i didnt want to redraw a whole bunch.
my uncle, aunt, and family friend came over today and while everyone was in the kitchen me and my uncle watched television together. it was fun. my uncle has been watching rottmnt with me every time he visits for the past few months, and while we were watching he kept pointing out things he likes about the show and it made me very happy.
he said he loves how the animation goes all out for the fight scenes, and he likes the little easter eggs and references. i told him about my rottmnt AU/OC thing and he was like "do you have a little fanfiction thing going on here?" and i was like "yes" but i haven't actually written it all out as a story, i have the whole timeline and some episode plots written down in a document, but that's it. he told me if i felt comfortable showing him any of my writing he'd love to read it and i told him i write sometimes but i haven't finished anything yet. he said not to worry about finishing anything, which i agree with it, but it would be nice to have at least one finished product to show. then we talked about writing and how we both like it.
my family friend spent most of the time in the kitchen with the rest of the family but sometimes he walked over and would watch some of the show with us for a few minutes. the first time i put it on while he was visiting he didn't like it because it was so different from the version he watched as a kid (87'), but today when we were watching it i told him he has to not think about the other version at all and just watch the show, because if he's only thinking about the ways it's different from the thing he likes, he wont be able to enjoy it as it is.
my uncle also said to think of it like a multiverse where this is a different timeline and all the characters are completely different people from their last version. like obviously that's donatello but it's not YOUR donatello, so it's okay that he's different. which is true but the thing is, i thought that's how everyone thought about remakes and different iterations? i didn't think anyone would watch a NEW iteration in a franchise being like "oh gee oh boy i hope this is a 1 to 1 replica of the specific version i like of these characters and there are no changes whatsoever, otherwise they've ruined it and it sucks." (not that the family friend thinks that way, he doesn't) but it all makes sense now why people act the way they do on the internet when a new version of something comes out.
anyway "they changed this and it's different from the thing i enjoy, therefore it's bad" is not the same as "they changed this and it caused a genuine detriment to the story (and lifeless remakes of existing media for a quick cash grab is bad)" and i wish people understood that. i wish people understood the difference between personal taste and quality.
that's the end of my rant, byebyeeee.
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delicris · 1 year ago
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okay i cannot process wet socks being good but if it's good for you then go for it ig. I feel like I'd probably grab like a bucket or something and fill it with water and put my feet in it if I were in your situation
OMG PARAMEDIC SOUNDS SO COOL ACTUALLY!!!! i could never survive the pressure you just got even cooler.
i'm a HUGE NERD for learning. I love learning and that's why I want to stay in the educational path and become a teacher!!! knowledge is just so cool and i love the school atmosphere so i'm heading right back when i'm done with it hehehehe
I want literature or history honestly, both are very amazing, but i'm going more on literature because it's my life love you know?? I've always loved books and reading and it's just so comforting. just scared of not being able to get jobs cause i want to live in an english speaking country and english is not my first language so idk how that'll be
yes please send song recs i will most definitely be waiting
OMGGGG WHAT HAVE YOU WATCHED ABOUT FNAF???? if you have any questions about it or have anything you want to know I'll be more than glad to tell you about that shit is literally the love of my life at this point
the thing is... a bucket full of water is just too heavy, like I AIN'T DOING ALL THAT CARRYING NOPE
well, i don't think i could survive the pressure of being a teacher, i can't imagine having to teach someone like me... i'm not the best academic, actually kind of nice to have in class, but i never do what i'm told, always having to do everything in My Own Way, but still kind of abiding the rules, you know?? i'm basically bullshitting my way through school and have been for years PLEASE (this is not something to be proud of and i'm very much aware of that, just fyi)
LIT IS MY LOVE AS WELL or like at least it was for years, i grew out of it, or maybe it outgrew me idk, but it sucks, i can't get through a single fucking book nowadays, the attention span is NON-EXISTENT
and i total understand the frightening possibility of not being able to get a job in the future because shit is scary out there, especially when you're in a country which language isn't the one you grew up with... i'm holding onto the dream of once being able to leave this country as well, but lately i've been going through Changes (life has been lifing fr, i'm losing people left and right and my world has been Rocked), so i'm not so sure on being so keen on leaving this hell (aka czechia)
i used to watch twitch streams, so i don't really remember what it was EXACTLY, however, i do remember being scared... and i don't know how i fell about that... LISTEN THERE'S ROBOTS AND IT'S DARK, I MAY BE OMW OF STUDYING TO BE A PARAMEDIC BUT THERE ARE LINES THAT SHOULDN'T BE CROSSED (once again proving the Not Coolness, look at me being a baby about A GAME) also i heard there's a film now?? or something like that?? am i just making that up??
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princeofcyberpunk · 10 months ago
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yay!
Named After Anyone?
Nope! I named myself but I just picked one I thought was cool
Last time you cried?
uhhh like a couple weeks ago maybe? school sucks lol
Do you have kids?
No, and I don't want any! I don't think I'd be a very good parent for a lot of reasons. I collect plushies and love animals tho, so I think those count?
Any sports you play?
I have been permanently turned off from playing any sport due to vicious bullying during PE classes LOL (it's not that deep Tyler we are playing soccer to PASS A CLASS not win the world cup jesus christ)
Do you use sarcasm?
All the time! Problem is is that due to autism I have a 60% chance of not realizing others are being sarcastic most days
First thing you notice about people?
Their interests! Due to the aforementioned autism I don't like looking at people's faces so typically I make friends by looking at what people are wearing or what they have on their bag or something!
Eye color?
brown!
Scary movie or happy ending?
Happy ending, but I also like survival horror games so that's tough lol
Any talents?
Drawing! I also can tell you basically anything about Pokemon lore or the history of console gaming (and I've been looking into learning music bcus it's one of my creative blindspots so watch out!!!)
Where were you born?
USA! (gross!)
Any pets?
I used to have an Australian Shepherd mix named Charlie, but he passed in late 2022. Hes a goofy guy who liked to take up as much couch as possible and stare at you with his human eyes (and bark at absolutely nothing)
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What are your hobbies?
Video game collecting!! also general toy collecting and Pokemon card collecting. I like collecting lol
How tall are you?
Due to going to the doctor like. 4 times a year cuz of scoliosis the past two and a half years I am very aware of my height and for the past year it has been stuck at 169 cm lol haha funny number. in feet tho I think that's 5'6/5'7
Favorite school subject?
uhhh all I really have rn is English, US History and Art. the art class isn't rlly that fun but when I went to normal high school I really liked my theatre and graphic design classes
Dream job?
Indie game dev! Been working to make that real for a while, stay tuned !!!!!
passes this to @drizzileiscool (if u wanna)
15 questions for 15 friends!
tagged by @peanutbutterex :)) (Tysm for tagging me :>)
ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? when my mum was pregnant with me she went to a place with a pool and a really nice lady worked there, so i was named after her.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I cant remember a specific time but i think at some point in the last week.
DO YOU HAVE KIDS? nope
WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED? I do ballet and have done it for quite a while, also ive done other sports that were compulsory for PE at school if that counts lol.
DO YOU USE SARCASM? absolutely
WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? i think their hair? idk
WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR? greenish-grey
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings 100%
ANY TALENTS? im pretty decent at maths if that counts, and can do timetables pretty fast. also can solve 2x2, 3x3, and 4x4 rubiks cubes.
WHERE WERE YOU BORN? israel
WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? cubing, drawing a bit, idrk what else.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? no :( i used to have 2 fish but they died
HOW TALL ARE YOU? last time i checked i was 164cm but idk if that was true and also i havent checked for a while now.
FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? maths
DREAM JOB? maths teacher
I'll tag: @ihavenoideawhattotypehere @fyrerainy @goodlookingforagirl @insert-clever-username-1133 @gerardwaygirlmoments @magic-coffee @whateverhappenedididnotdoit @ninetimesbluedemo @marleighdrinkscoffee @thegayallofus @ssl0t @melancholic-pigeon and anyone else who wants to join in :))
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