#I straight up just tell my customers ‘oh yeah that’s dog piss’ and ‘we lock the bathrooms because too many people were doing meth in there’

[twobearshifiving]

I want everyone who’s ever had a date or a cozy little chill sesh at a Barnes and Noble to know how lucky they are they didn’t see a cockroach and that we use Woolite to get out the dog piss smell from the stains you’re sitting on

[i-ntrmission]

Nine (Van McCann)

Just a silly little fic where Van is sporadic regular at a coffee shop.

Part 1

Part 2 

Saturday morning.

You’ve already baked cinnamon buns and the peacan pie by time Carly officially opens up the café at 8. The smell of freshly baked goods circling the shop, Carly hums in appreciation, hovering in the kitchen to see what she can rob for breakfast.

Toby arrives at half 8, Carly all too gladly standing back from the coffee machine. He hovers by the kitchen door a few minutes later, thanking you again for last night while you’re pulling a tray of breakfast muffins out of the oven.

“Sure you didn’t lose something?” You ask him, he only blinks, a questioning ‘no?’, and you tug his keys from your pocket.

“Are they my- shit, where’d you find them?!”

Fragmented story telling about last night, about Van, between serving customers. You still feel a rush of lightheadedness when you think about last night, think about Van. Heartbeat kicking up in a weird little pitter-patter rhythm - something you only associate with kittens and Hugh Grant films. Toby listens with a knowing smile, which you choose to ignore.

“Oh, and guess who Julia got off with last night?” You say, maybe to change the subject off Van, after he’s handed a takeaway cup to the last of the customers. He raises a how eyebrows, looking at you with interest. Toby liked to act like he wasn’t interested in the gossip, stories swapped between you and Julia on long shifts - but you always caught him half listening, weighing in with his own comments if asked.

But before you can dish out the gossip on who you had walked in on in your kitchen this morning, Julia herself stomps through the door.

“Speak of the devil,” you mumble with a smirk while Toby playfully hisses at her as she walks past “Ey, what time do you call this then?”

It’s 9, she’s an hour late. She had told you this morning she’d cleared it with Carly, when you had brought her water and painkillers. More as a front to question her on who you had found in the kitchen than being concerned for her head. She’d seen through it and buried herself under her duvet when you entered her room.

“Piss off,” she hisses back, taking off her sunglasses. No makeup and too much perfume, the telltale signs of a rough night. “And don’t even start you!” Pointing her sunglasses at you, your smug smile. You only hold your hands up to with a lingering smirk. Toby’s eyes flickering between you both.

The bell hanging from the door rings, drawing your attention back to the till as two mums with buggies and toddlers make their way in, the screeches of excited children make Julia shudder.

“Jesus Christ, kids shouldn’t be allowed out in public until at least midday on weekends,” she huffs under her breath and makes a beeline for the staff room. A chuckle - calling after her, telling her you had left breakfast muffins in the oven. The perfect combination of savory and sweet - the best hangover cure. Apart from more alcohol that is.

You’re loading up a tray with hot chocolates and coffees for the mums and kids when Julia re-emerges from the back room, taking a bite out of the muffin in her hand with a groan of your name, telling you that you were a lifesaver.

“Sure you can manage these? No more bad luck leftover? Need a side of salt?” Toby teases while handing you the tray over the counter, you roll your eyes - telling him not to remind you of yesterday’s disasters.

“So, wild night at the pub quiz I hear,” you hear Toby turning back to Julia while you walk away, biting down on the inside of your cheek to suppress a smile. Recalling her texts.

You make your way out front to the terrace where the noisy kids have taken up residence at one of the tables, except now their shrieks seem to be in despair rather than delight. One of the women standing out on the path while the other is desperately trying to calm the boys, one already in tears. Inconsolable.

“Oh, what’s happened?!” You ask, a frown while setting the tray on their table.

“Pebbles ran away!” The older of the boys wail while pointing down the road. It’s then that you notice the abandoned dog leash on the ground beside your foot, one end under the seat of the chair, the other end clipped onto a collar.

“He must have wriggled out, a lad’s gone running after him - I hope-“ the woman is cut off by the younger boy’s screech of “There! Pebbles!!”

You follow his gaze, almost shaking your head and laughing - it’s Van, of course it’s fucking Van to the rescue. Sauntering back down the path with the runaway Yorkshire terrier in his arms, licking at his face.

You watch the look of adoration in the women’s eyes as he carries the dog back up to the table, the gleeful sounds of the kids. His smile widens once he spots you, hovering.

“Alright lids, see he’s fine! Just a little messer ain’t he?!” Van eases, dropping down on his haunches to hold the dog while the mum fiddles with adjusting the collar.

Ducking back inside while the chorus of ‘thank yous’ surround Van, grabbing a couple of chocolate chip cookies and pain au chocolats, sugar for the shock.

Once you set the treats down on the table, the boys wipe the end of their tears from their eyes. Sounds of delight resurface, something their mothers echo when you tell them not to worry, that the cookies and crossiants are on the house.

Van follows you back inside after high fiving the boys, winking at the women and blowing a kiss at the dog - who seemed rather taken with him. Holding the door open for you.

“You’re in early, thought rockstars didn’t get up ‘til noon,” you say as he follows you in. Eyes a little bloodshot, voice a little husky - but other than that he didn’t share any of Julia’s hangover symptoms. You wonder what kind of drinker he is.

“Eh, never been good at the whole rockstar thing me.” A lazy grin, reaching the counter where Julia stops mid rant about how bacon absolutely belongs in muffins. Their eyes lock, mirrored smirks - sharing the same secrets.

“Think you have someone that belongs to me, love.” He chuckles.

Julia hums in response, “think I’ll hang onto him a bit longer.”

You bite back a smile. This morning, walking into your kitchen at sunrise only to be greeted with a scruffy, bearded man. Vaguely familiar, from the countless interviews and live performances you had binged on YouTube. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, unbuttoned shirt and undone jeans, hand buried in his hair, staring blankly at the floor tiles. Clearly in the midst of a hangover from hell, possibly going through the fear. You could smell the stale alcohol.

“Er, morning?” You said quietly, blue eyes flickering up, a crooked smile, and a rasped “Mornin’, love.”

Like it was the most natural thing for him to be standing in your kitchen, like it was his kitchen even.

“Are you looking for sommat or?” You opened the fridge, glancing back over him. Hoping he wasn’t about to puke all over the place. He had that look.

“Yeah, just the last shreds of me dignity.. and anything.. cold, please... fuck,” he grumbles, pressing his head into his hands. You almost felt sorry for him, then you remembered the videos and messages from Julia last night and hide a smile by looking back into the fridge. Jug of iced water and a pint glass, handing him the full glass before rooting through the medicine drawer, painkillers.

“Aye, you’re a fuckin’ godsent, thanks angel.” Taking the painkillers and water from you. “Can see why Van’s so fond of you, coffee girl.”

There’s a lot of unpack in that sentence, and it was way too early. So you simply blink and watch him take the pills.

“Coffee girl?” You question eventually, arms crossing.

His eyes drift back over to you, grimacing while he sips on the water. “Aye, you work down the café, wi’ Julia, reet?”

You knew you shouldn’t have, but when opportunity arises, you can’t help it. Winding him up. It’s a rare morning you’re in a good mood, able to communicate in more that one syllable words.

“No? Dunno what you’re on about mate, Julia works down the cafè.. heard her mentioned someone called Van a few times, seemed like they had a thing, yeah?”

A flash of panic in his eyes, practically hearing the flurry of curse words going through his head. The prospect of the fact he’s probably shagged someone his best mate is ‘fond of’. Quirking a brow while he stared.

“Nah, she said.. You.. fuck.. fuck me,” a string of grumbles, clearly trying and failing to get his head straight - remember what had happened last night, what Julia had told him. Hands patting down his jeans, pulling out his phone with a heavy sigh. He curses at the screen. “Fuck, Van’s gon-“

“Hey,” you decide to put him out of his misery. He was growing paler by the second, and you were getting more and more worried about the prospect of cleaning up puke. “I’m just messin’ with ya.”

Realisation hitting - eye narrowing at you, telling him your name, confirming that you were indeed the coffee girl who worked with Julia. He shakes his head, a gruff noise and crooked smirk.

“Jesus, threw me for a loop there... well played, my dear... I like you already,” holding out his first, “Am Johnny,” he says while you knock your knuckles against his. You refrain from telling him you knew that already.

“Well, he’s kinda crucial in our band and that, so afraid I get first dibs, darlin’” Van’s voice drags you back to the present.

“So you’re saying you’re going on tour again soon, eh?” Julia tilts her head.

A breathy little laugh - “Bands do more than just tour, yanno?”

“You do realise the internet is a thing, Van - we could literally google your tour dates right now and find out. So your mysterious bullshit ain’t flying anymore.” She rolls her eyes, another bite of her muffin.

Since finding out he was in Catfish, neither of you had ever thought about checking on the tour dates, when he came he came and when he left he left, and that’s that. No wondering if he’d show up when the tour was up. Simple, no attachments. You and Julia even named a local stray cat after Van who you fed from time to time when he came snooping around the bins outside, the easiness of coming and going.

So why were your fingers suddenly itching for your phone.

“Ah, love! Why ruin the little mystery that’s left then? Like I said - we do other stuff too, could have label stuff to do, graftin the next album... cheers, mate.” Trailing off once Toby slides his caramel latte over the counter, something he had got him hooked on a year or so ago. “Fuckin missed this.” He says as if every other coffee shop has yet to discover caramel.

“So yous are doing a new album then, that it?” Julia persists, rolling your eyes at her blatant attempts at winding him up. But he catches on, a lazy grin, licking his lips.

“Ain’t ya too hungover to be fuckin’ with us like this?” He calls her out, a smirk.

She shrugs while her eyes slide over to the elderly couple that come in every morning, sitting in their usual spot. Calling over to them that their tea and scones are on the way, fond calls back of ‘take your time, pet.’ telling Van she’s not finished with him before heading into the back to get a teapot.

“What happened last night anyways?” Toby interjects, bemused look across his features. Completely left out of the loop, obviously not getting anything out of Julia when you left them a while ago.

Taking the opportunity to pull up Julia’s messages - putting you phone down on the counter between the three of you. The video is obviously taken at the time of the night where all rational thoughts are lost to drinks. Loud music, girls screams - background static, Johnny Bond stood at the bar, downing three consecutive shots of what you assume is tequila, Julia’s giggles soundtrack while following him out the smoking area, turning back to the camera and taking off his cap with slur of ‘mind this for me, love’ before he proceeds to do a handstand against a wall for 15 seconds. Confused onlookers as Julia counts it out.

Amused sounds - Toby and Van, Julia passing back around the counter in search of scones for the couple, she glances over your shoulder at the video.

“Ey, anyone who does a handstand after 3 shots of tequila without vomming earns their space in my bed.”

There’s another video from about 20 minutes later of Larry stood on a table, Kylie Minogue blaring, and he’s doing an enthused rendition of the Can’t Get You Outta my Head dance mixed with a bit of the Macarena. Cheers erupting around him, wolf whistles.

Van - a rasped cackle, “send that one onto me, that’s too good! Never gon let him live that one down!”

You watch him while he watches the video again a few times over. His eyelashes nearly brushing his cheeks when he looks down, fingers restlessly tapping against his coffee mug, soft chuckles. Feeling Toby give you a nudge, a wink when you look up. Letting you know he caught you, shaking your head with your best ‘fuck off’ eyes.

“So why were you making the lads humiliate themselves for your entertainment then?” Toby asks Julia once she circles back around the counter

“‘Cause, the lads bet me that they’d beat us at the pub quiz,” she explains, helping herself to another muffin. “Johnny spent half the time outside smoking, and Van and Larry fuckin’ argued over every question and ended up writing down bullshit made up answers.”

Toby asks where Van’s forfeit video is, you’re only half listening now - taking orders of the few people who just came in, but you zone back in once you hear your name mentioned.

“-and after I told him she was workin’ late closing up, never seen anyone down their pint so quickly, what was the excuse again, Van? Jet lag was it?”

Glancing up at that to find him already looking at you, catching his eye, his lips tilt making his dimple pop out. It lasts less than a second, your eyes darting back down to the pecan pie you’re cutting. Feeling your cheeks warm up. He never mentioned that he had run into Julia at the pub last night, remembering how he just said he was on his way home. Although, you were half sure it did have nothing do with you, more likely he was just sick of Julia’s drunken bullshit.

“Nah, just quite like that pub and want to be able to show me face in there again, innit.” He tells her, a laugh.

You grab a basin and walk away to start to clear tables, not really wanting to hear anymore of Julia’s torments. You’re happier zoning out, getting lost in your own thoughts, smiling and small talk with a few regulars. On you’re way back to the kitchen when you hear Van again as you walk past, catching your elbow.

“You in then too, Glasvegas?”

“Sorry, what?” Turning back to him, you had been thinking if Julia would be up for getting chipper on the way home after the pub tonight. You were already craving garlic cheese chips.

“Coming down Cassidy’s tonight? Van’s buying first round for being a pussy last night.” Julia quips, and you look from him to her. Fuck, remembering Van’s confession about wanting to buy you a drink last night. Julia’s looking at with you a smug expression, knowing you can’t get out of this one. You and her always went out on Saturday night’s - either just the two of you, or a group of friends. But going to the pub with Van and his mates, your heart skips a few beats, uneasiness. You give her a look before letting your eyes slide back to Van, an expectant look, finishing off his cinnamon bun.

“Er, I dunno..”

“Dunno if you’re up for going to the pub? Like we don’t go out every Saturday night?” Julia tilts her head, feigning mock innocence. You knew what she was doing, and you glare. A non-verbal ‘you’re being a dick.”

“Well, er, it’s been a long week.. yanno. I’m kinda tired.. was thinkin’ of staying in and having a quiet one,” you’re backing slowly into the kitchen as you say this, feeble excuses. “And I’m.. I’m trying to save some and that.”

“So me and you will do pre-drinks at ours,” Julia pushes, entertaining your excuses to a certain extent, but not letting you get out of it.

“And I’m buying first round,” Van adds.

“So, it’s just one drink really.” Julia confirms.

“Jus’ one drink.” Van reaffirms.

“Just one drink?” You say, somewhat defeated.

Toby glances up from the coffee machine, a chuckle. “Now when’s the last time anyone went out and actually had just one drink?”

Van leaves a little while later, Toby giving him a tray of coffees for Larry and Bondy if he’d yet ventured back from your place, you sending him off with a bag of hangover cures in form of pastries and cakes.

He came back in a few minutes later, forgetting his stamp on his loyalty card.

“2 down, eight to go. Cheers, see yas later.” He walked back out, a spring in his step. You turned to Julia.

“What the fuck, Jules?! Will you leave us alone and stop tryin’ to setup me up with Van fuckin’ McCann!” Exasperated tone, she only shook her head and giggled. “S’not funny! He probably already has a girlfriend and you’re here makin’ us look desperate!”

“Dunno what you’re on about, babe!” She says while heading out to clean up the terrace, humming matchmaker matchmaker under her breath. She turns back to you as she reaches the door “Oh, and he deffo doesn’t have a girlfriend, found that out last night for ya. You’re welcome!” She beams, all but skipping out the door.

You somehow resist the urge to chuck the tea towel in your hands at her head.

[nuka-rockit]

                                 OC as Companion Meme

NAME: Zac

FOUND : In the Cola Cars Arena, near the bumper car display

COMPANION PERK:

RAZE HELL: Zac’s training as a Brotherhood scribe gives him a knowledge of combat tech that goes beyond that of most raiders. Gain a +20% damage bonus with Energy Weapons as well as +15% DR when wearing Power Armor.

WEAPON OF CHOICE: 

CUTTHROAT [default melee weapon]: Customized Disciples blade. Causes additional bleeding damage.

PAINT IT RED [default ranged weapon] : Customized laser rifle. Random chance to cause Bloody Mess effect on critical hits. Increased chance to trigger Bloody Mess if the perk is already active.

I THINK WE SHOULD TRAVEL TOGETHER:

Low Affinity:

“There better be some good loot this time.”

“I guess it beats staying here all day, sitting on my ass – which is fanstastic, mind you.”

“Just try not to burst into tears when I’m rude to one of your little wastelander buddies, yeah?”

“One extra meat shield between me and the ferals. At least I don’t have to pay you.”

Neutral:

“They never stay away for long.”

“What? Got bored without me?”

“Try to keep up.”

“[with some admiration] Still kickin’? [mumb]Guess I owe someone caps now.”

High Affinity:

“Wanna fuck some shit up?”

“I knew you’d miss me.”

“Nothing like taking caps from wasteland losers with you, darlin’.”

“Gotta admit, scramblin’ about the wastes is more fun with you around.”

USE MELEE:

“Showtime.”

“Right in the middle of the action. That’s where the real fun is.”

“Ooh, old school. I like your style.”

“Heh, love the look on their faces when I get to ‘em.”

USE RANGED:

"You think they can’t handle this up close? …Can’t blame ya.”

“Let’s see if I can get some heads popping.”

“At least I won’t have to worry about getting the blood out of my hair.”

“If you insist. But just so you know, I’m prettier up close.”

OPEN INVENTORY:

"Feel free to take some of the heavy junk.”

“Want me to carry some of those heavy, cumbersome caps for you? I’m game.”

“Got a sudden urge to give me your valuables?”

“Time to split the haul.”

IF OVERENCUMBERED:

“Unless you plan on carrying me around bridal style, we’re not gonna be moving anytime soon.”

“This is beyond my paygrade.”

“Look, I like loot as much as the next guy, but this is ridiculous.”

“You see a sign around my neck that says ‘PACK MULE’? No? No.”

STAY CLOSE:

“Can’t stay away, huh?”

“You could at least buy me dinner first.”

“I’m not exactly the cuddly type, but I make an exception for people who pay me.”

“Like what you see?”

KEEP DISTANCE:

“I’ll just be over here, keeping an eye out for danger. And caps. But mostly danger.”

“Has it been that long since my last wash? In my defense, have you ever tried finding  a working shower out here? One without Mirelurks?”

“Allright. If something tries to eat you I’ll be sure to cheer you on from aaaaall the way back there. ”

“Just stay within hearing distance so I can find you if you get shot. Or at least get the loot off your corpse. No point in letting it go to waste, right?”

STEALTH:

“[chuckles darkly] Time for a surpriiiiise.”

“They won’t know what hit ‘em. ”

“If some of the good stuff here just so happens to slip into my pocket…well…”

“Do this a lot, your ass is gonna look like it was chiseled from marble. I would know.”

BACKUP:

“Allright.”

“Good, I wasn’t looking for a snuggle either.”

“[flirtatious] Usually they  ask for the opposite.”

“Yep, too close for comfort.”

BE PASSIVE:

“[sneers] Maybe if we ask them real nice they’ll stop shooting us in the face. What d’ya think?”

“Oh, sure. I love… peace and all that shit. Totally.”

"Hey, if you want to pay me for not kicking ass...”

“Do you want me to get some paint for you? You know, for the target on my back?”

BE AGGRESSIVE:

“Oh thank God. No pussyfooting around.”

“That’s the spirit.”

“Gladly.”

“Good to know you get how things work around here. Can’t say that about everyone.”

USE STIMPACK:

“Much better.”

“Good as new.”

“I’m worth more in one piece anyway.”

“Hey, scars are sexy.”

WAIT HERE:

“Allright, but just a head’s up: If you skip the bill I’m breaking your legs. Haha! Just kidding. [snorts] [to himself] Like I’d let you live.”

“[sarcastic] Oh, no, I get to sit back and relax while you verge into some murder cave full of garbage or whatever. I’ll try my best to live through this hardship.”

“If you need me, I’ll be counting the caps we got so far.”

“Don’t have all the fun without me.”

FOLLOW ME:

“Your wish is my…[snorts] Yeah, no, couldn’t say that with a straight face.”

“Partners in crime. Profitable, fabulous crime.”

“I got ya.”

“They’ll shit their pants when they see us two coming.”

DISMISSED:

“Try not to get killed, sweetheart.”

“[joking] Aw, and here I thought we were had something going.”

“Wham, bam, thank you mam, huh? Well, if you want more of this…you know where to find me.”

“Shame. Thought you’d last longer. Maybe next time.”

SEND THEM HOME (FOLLOWER BASE):

[SENT BACK TO NUKA WORLD]

“Hope the next fight in the Arena is better than the last one. Farmboy went out in one go. Snooore.”

“If that Nuka Cola jingle gets stuck in my head again, I’m busting the damn speakers.”

“Back to the land of dreams… if your dreams smell like rotten candy and piss.”

“Maybe it’s time. I swear,  the losers don’t get anything done without me. Can’t tell a circuitboard from their own dicks.”

[SENT TO SETTLEMENT]

“What- there? Just gonna send me to the ass end of the Commonwealth. [huffs] That’s cold.”

“Oh come on, really? Did I piss you off or somethin’?”

“I’m a raider. Raaiiideeer. Sitting on a dirt farm in the middle of nowhere ain’t really my style. Just sayin’.”

“[grumbles] Fine, but if someone tries to make me pick tatos I’m quitting.”

ENEMIES (LONG RANGE - OR COMPLIMENTS ON PLAYER CHARACTER��S CONFIRMED KILL USING A SNIPER RIFLE ON LONG RANGED TARGET)

“Boom!”

“And the crowd goes wild!”

“Natural selection, baby.”

“[laughs mockingly] Come on, were they even trying?”

ENEMIES (CLOSE RANGE)

“Try me, loser.”

“This ain’t my first rodeo!”

“I fucking love my job.”

“Oh this is gonna be fun.”

“I’m calling dibbs on this one!”

“Hell yeah, we like it rough ‘round here!”

ASSISTANCE: helps nobody/helps allies/helps friends and allies

AGGRESSION: aggressive/not aggressive/very aggressive/frenzied

CONFIDENCE: cowardly/cautious/average/brave/foolhardy

LOSE AS COMPANION PERMANENTLY:

Betray Nuka World Raiders:  If  you attack the raiders in Nuka World, Zac instantly becomes hostile.

Giving the Brotherhood of Steel control over the Commonwealth:  Zac will express his disagreement and return to Nuka World, whereupon he becomes unavailable as a follower. If he is later spoken to he will say one of the following lines:

“I said my part. Scram.”

“What, already getting tired of the tin cans? Or did they get tired of you? [huffs] You deserve each other.”

“Sorry, but I’m not looking for a lap dog. Now beat it, Fluffy.”

“Huh, my boots are looking a bit dusty. Care to give ‘em a good lick while you’re here? Or is that service of yours a Brotherhood exclusive?”

Lose too much Affinity: Like most other companions, Zac will leave if his Affinity drops too low.

Affinity raiting can be raised by:

picking locks

choosing aggressive dialogue options

successfully hacking terminals

helping the Nuka World raiders

stealing (does not include pickpocketing)

overloading the spaceship ride during the Nuka World quest: “Trip to the Stars”

killing miscellaneous (non-Nuka World) raider bosses in the Commonwealth (Bosco, Jared, Sparta, etc.)

successful haggling

passing most speech checks

walking around naked

Affinity is lost by:

choosing pacifist dialogue options

failing haggling speech checks

failing intimidation speech checks

helping settlers (cancelled out if payment is received upon completion)

accepting Brotherhood quests (dislike for completing miscellaneous quests, hate for completing main quests)

giving caps to either the Pillars of the Community or the Hubologists

assigning him to farm work when left in a settlement

getting caught in any criminal action

planting brotherhood flags in settlements

giving caps to NPCs (does not include bribery)

[canid-slashclaw]

The Outliers - A Guildwars Love Story

Chapter 3

Echos of laughter and revelry were thick in the smoke-filled tavern known as the Jotun's Corpse.  Ulfgar Svaldmere had opened the establishment just outside of Claypool some thirty years ago.  He gave up his life as a hunter and trapper after his beloved wife, Glorina, had succumbed to an unknown illness.  

Behind his massive eight-foot plus tall frame, were eyes that had witnessed many triumphs and tragedies.  He had encountered so many people of different races in his lifetime that he sometimes got their names and faces mixed up.  However, he did know the names and faces of practically every patron who frequented his establishment.  And because of that fact, his regular customers treated him with a great deal of respect.  Some of them trusted him even more than they did their own kin.  

Kaleb and his lifelong friend, Brad Pendragon, muscled their way through the drunken crowds until they found a couple of empty barstools near where Ulfgar was serving drinks.  

"It's about time you two laggards showed up.  Whaddlit be?  I just got some Elonian bourbon in last week if any of yous are interested," the massive norn said with a smile.  

"The stronger the better.  This cupcake's training starts tomorrow," Brad said as he jokingly punched Kaleb's shoulder.   "Ow! Was that a hit or was that a hit!"  Kaleb said as he returned the favor to Brad's left shoulder.   "You wince like a sissy.  I'm hedging my bet that you won't even last a week in basic," Brad sniped with a grin.   Kaleb held up his hand making a v-sign with his fingers.  "Two lagers for two losers, Ulfgar."  The norn nodded as he leaned over to fill their steins.  "Who are you calling a loser? Loser. Aren't you still living with your mamma and daddy?" "Hey. It takes one to know one right?  After all - yer the one who's been dumb enough to be hanging out with me all these years,"  Kaleb replied with a laugh.

Suddenly, both men nearly jumped from their seats when they heard a feminine voice coming from behind. 

"So who here is the loser and who's the sissy?" Brad immediately slid off his stool nearly falling over as he made a very rapid attempt at performing a military salute.  "Two losers reporting in, sir!" Cynthia Waterstone returned the salute as she promptly commandeered Brad's now-empty stool.  "At ease, soldier.  Just a half pint of ale for me, Ulfgar." "Commin' up."  The norn snatched a smaller stein from the bottom of the bar as he began to pass out the already-filled drinks to the two men. "Come tomorrow, I'm going to be expecting you to do the same thing Kaleb," Cynthia said as she pulled back a stray lock of auburn hair that had dangled over her face. 

"Tomorrow is the operative word.  Tonight, I'm still citizen Kaleb - royal subject of the Queen," he said as he scarfed down a drought of the deep amber liquid. Brad chimed in and raised his glass.  "And basement rat to your parents abode." "Get your facts straight, skritt-face.  My dwelling place is in the attic." 

The lively banter between the two young men went on for the next fifteen minutes as Cynthia offered Brad his seat.  After each of them had a couple of lagers in their bellies, Kaleb turned to his best friend and began a new conversation on a much more serious note.   "I'm supposed to be reporting at a garrison base somewhere in Kessex Hills.  I didn't catch the name, but I do know it's near a battlefront.  I guess they want to throw us to the wolves as soon as possible." "Don't stress over it too much, Kal. Both you fellas will be under my command and I'll do everything to ensure you get the best training possible," Cynthia said with a smile.  "So what's it like in the Seraph?  I heard you guys have been slugging it out with the centaurs for the past two years." "Their attacks have gotten bolder in recent months.  I'm not going to lie to either of you - it's a messy business out there and taking prisoners is rarely the standard protocol for either side."

Brad let out a sigh.  "At least I'll have the benefit of being past basic.  Once you are through with that, I'll have your back one hundred percent, bro." "I'd expect no less.  In fact, I need to get out there on the battlefield as soon as possible because I doubt anyone else would be willing to save your sorry ass," Kaleb replied with grin. 

"Yeah. Speaking of asses... when was the last time you seen Trish?" "Not since last week."  Kaleb gestured for another round.  Cynthia butted in.  "So, did you get any... ass?" Kaleb looked down into his drink.  "Well.  She and I haven't... you know, for quite some time." "For what it's worth, I'm single and if you need any, you know, I am available," Cynthia winked.   "That would feel like incest. We've known each other since we were pups.  That would just feel weird."   She then gave a wide-eyed smile and replied.  "What made you assume that I was talking to you?" "Woah now!  Isn't fraternization with a commanding officer a floggin' offense?"   Brad said with trepidation.  "Oh.  Lighten up you two.  I was just trying to get in a few jabs before the serious stuff begins," Cynthia replied as she took a few sips from her stein of ale. "Speaking of... what's the deal, Kal?  You're normally the life of the party.  What's gotten you all down?" Brad queried.  Kaleb turned to his best friend and replied.  "Yanno.  The pappa thing.  Father's been pestering me about taking over the family business.  He's afraid that I'm going to get wounded or killed fighting in some far off godsforsaken land. The thing is, I really have no desire to be a fifth generation wagon maker." "Have you given marriage a thought?  I know you and Trish don't see each other that much, but the two of you make a really cute couple.  Besides, rumor has it that her family's loaded.  Hitch up with her and you won't have to worry about lifting so much as a shovel," Cynthia asked curiously.   "I dunno.  She's a fine looking girl, but our personalities are so far apart.  It's hard for her and I to relate to each other sometimes." Brad thrust his fingers into Kaleb's rib cage as he pointed towards a slender blond-haired blue-eyed girl. "Speak of the devil!  Your lady-in-waiting is here." "Great. She'll be really pissed if I don't get to say goodbye to her directly," Kaleb said with a heavy sigh.  "I suppose I'll give her a farewell hug." Standing just inside the main entryway, Patricia Fairweather gazed around hoping to catch a glimpse of her boyfriend, Kaleb.  At just under five feet, the petite blonde had trouble seeing over some of the taller patrons in the tavern.   Kaleb whistled as he beckoned to Patricia. "Hey, Trish.  Over here." She stomped over in his direction then chided him in a harsh tone.  "Next time, please don't whistle at me like I'm some damn dog.   I have a name in case you had forgotten." "My, my.  So touchy tonight, aren't you?  Were you slurping down some of your mamma's cough syrup before getting here?  Your breath smells like overpriced whiskey." Patricia glared at him angrily. "Ugh!   Do you not know when to shut it?  I came all the way down here in the middle of the night just to see you.  You ought to be grateful." Kaleb began to stagger around as he smiled at her with a glassy-eyed stare.  "Oh, but I am... grateful that is.  I'm also four sheets into the wind so try not to be too offended if I should say something that may come across as being crass." "Oh gods.  You are even more shit-faced than me," she said while pulling out a small flask that she had kept discreetly tucked away under her garter.  She uncapped the bottle then proceeded to take a long drought.  "Yeah. I'm feelin' those lagers now.  Ya wanna dance?"  He asked her.

"No babe, I wanna screw!  You and I haven't done it in so long and I'm really feeling lonely right now," Patricia replied as she clamored all over Kaleb. "You are also feeling really drunk right now as well.  What is that crap you've been hiding up your skirt anyway?" "Mmm.  Let's go to someplace private and find out," Patricia smiled as she planted her beet-red face into his broad muscular chest. 

Like blind folk attempting to lead each other around an open pit, the inebriated pair navigated their way towards Ulfgar's bar. 

"Hey Ulf.  Where are Brad and Cynth?' The old norn looked at him and replied with a grin.  "They are currently committing a floggin' offense together." "Sluts, both of them!"  Kaleb commented.

"Hey! Weren't you going to ask him if we could get a room?"  Kaleb's girlfriend chided mockingly.  "Sorry, lass.  Rooms are full at the moment."  Ulfgar said with an apologetic tone. "That's okay.  I'm really not in the mood anyway. Ulf - can I get another round?"   By this time, Patricia's anger had boiled over.  "If you have no interest in screwing me, fine!  But don't think I'll feel bad if anything happens to you on the battlefield.  I'm outta here!" With that comment, Kaleb's girlfriend spun a one-eighty on her left heel then promptly staggered towards the egress.  The inebriated young man stared briefly at the door before turning his gaze towards the old norn.  "Yup.  She's pissed.  I really went and done it, haven't I Ulf?" "She just wants a shiny piece of metal on her finger, boy.  Are you sure that's something you're even cut out for?" "Marriage?  Oh gods no.  I mean sure, yeah... maybe... sometime in the far future.  But right now, I'm not even sure what I want in my life let alone anyone else's."  Kaleb could feel a massive headache coming on as he tried to fight the force of gravity that was pulling on his unsteady body. 

"Listen pup.  Yer way too strung out to be going home to your folks.  If yer pappy saw you in your current intoxicated condition, he would tan my hide.  Tell ya what - I'll let ya stay the night in that extra spare room upstairs," Ulfgar said as he let out a call for last rounds.  "Thanks, Ulf.  You've been a good friend to me and my family." "Yer pappy and I go way back. It would be ashamed for his only son to come home on the day he's to join the army still plaster-faced from the night before.  Don't worry, I've got an old norn recipe that will have you fit as a fiddle by morning," Ulfgar said with a wink.

[emhpathy]

Begin Again Ch.2 (m)

Jaehyun x Reader smut, angst, fluff

word count: 2,542

warning: swearing

x

After you texted Jaehyun, you made something to eat, took a relaxing shower and went straight to bed, cuddling your dog until you fell asleep. The next morning you woke up an hour before your usual time and couldn't fall asleep again.

You unlock your phone and see a new message from Jaehyun

[New message from Jaehyun]: “Yeah, it's fine by me too. Sorry I didn't text you back last night, I was exhausted and fell asleep as soon as I got home,” you are typing a reply when you get a new notification

[New message from Jaehyun]: “Are you up yet? We could meet to grab a coffee and talk a little, maybe?” You weren't expecting that so soon but get excited anyways, “I know we barely talked but I'm kind of old fashioned and I like to talk in person lol.” Cute.

[New message to Jaehyun]: “Hi! I'm up and don't worry about last night, it happens to me all the time lol Coffee sounds great! Just send me the address and I'll see you in a bit?”

He texts you the adress, turns out that the coffee shop was near the bakery where you worked, which was great and could save you some time.

You take a quick shower and put on your clothes. A jeans overall, a plain black t-shirt and your snickers. You have never been a fan of heavy make up, you hated wasting more time than necessary in the morning and definetely did not like the sensation of having tons of different products on your face, so you just apply a thin layer of mascara and head out to the coffee shop. On your way there you remember to text Luna

[New message to Luna]: “wake upppppppppp. i'm omw to grab a coffee with Jaehyun. maybe i'm expecting too much but whatever. he seems nice and made the first move (:” you hit send and giggle to yourself. You know Luna will be pissed because Jungwoo haven't took the first step yet, neither did she. They both liked each other but were too shy to admit it.

You get at your destination first, finding a couple sitting at the corner of the small store and two people waiting in line. Since it was too early in the morning and the coffee shop was still empty, you pick a table and decide to sit close to the door. You don't know Jaehyun’s preferences and don’t want to seem rude drinking and eating before him, so you choose to wait. You take your phone out of your purse and see that you have 4 new messages from Luna and 1 from Jaehyun. You read his first.

[New message from Jaehyun]: “Hey, I'm sorry I'm late, I'm on my way. One of my roommates was not feeling well and I had to help him”

[New message to Jaehyun]: “No problem. I walked here and the place is near home, so don't worry, you're not late. And hey, there's only me and a couple sitting here, so it shouldn't be hard to find me lol,” you text him and open Luna's chat

[New message from Luna]: “wHAT”

[New message from Luna]: “i’m kinda jealous tho”

[New message from Luna]: “anyway GOOD LUCK ALEJDKSLSLDJ”

[New message from Luna]: “Jaehyun looks >>>really<<< good and he is very sweet,” you both overreacted a little bit at times, so you choose to believe Jaehyun was just a normal guy and Luna was being, well, Luna, “he has this cute bread face and the cutest dimp–“

“Y/N?”

You slowly look up and your eyes widen in shock

What the fuck.

You see the personification of an angel in front of you. Jaehyun is beautiful. He is wearing a striped purple flannel and black jeans. His chestnut hair is styled down and makes him look like a teenager. Your eyes grow big at his striking features and how his tongue pokes out to wet his lower lip.

You must've spent a lot of time looking at him, cause you hear him calling your name again

“Y/N, are you okay?” The owner of the deep voice asks, making you snap out of your trance

“Y-yes! Hi! Sit down!” you gesture to him, a little embarrassed

“I’m sorry I'm late, I had to make sure my roommate was alright before leaving” he apologizes and you just nod, not completely out of your astonishment

“S-sure, don't worry about it, I've been here for a couple of minutes, so you're fine! But is your roommate okay?”

“Yeah, he is, thanks for asking. He got wasted last night and wasn't feeling well,” he half smiles and a fucking dimple appears on his cheek. “But tell me about you, we literally know nothing about each other other than our names.”

“Yeah, you're right! Well, I work at a – wait, we haven't ordered yet,” you realize and ask him what he wants

“A medium iced Americano, please” he smiles briefly and you walk to the cashier ordering an Americano for him, a capuccino for yourself, and two chocolate cookies. You wait for your name to be called and text Luna in the mean time

[New message to Luna]: “YOU COW, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT JAEHYUN IS A GOD? HOW DARE YOU?” You text her and remember you didn’t finish reading her last message. She actually mentioned his dimples and how sweet he was, but she also said that he doesn't open up easily, which intrigued you. You were about to ask her why when the barista calls your name. You lock your phone and put it into your pocket. You thank the guy and go back to your table.

Jaehyun is messing with his phone and you put his coffee and the cookies in front of him

“Thank you, Y/N, I should pay you back,” he takes his wallet out of his pocket

“No! It's on me, don't worry,” you tell him, he nods and thanks you

Jaehyun told you he is an elementary teacher, which surprised you, but he explained that he has a niece that he adores, and she made him want to work with kids. Also, he said that he's turning 25 in a few days but wasn’t going to celebrate it because he isn’t a party person anymore. He also mentioned his roommates, Johnny and Jungwoo. They've met at college and have been living together since then. Other than that he didn't mention much about his personal life. You didn't want to pressure him, this was your first proper conversation, he didn't have to tell you everything about him.

“So, now tell me about you,” Jaehyun says and drink his coffee

“Well, my name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm 22 years old, I work at a bakert. By the way, you should stop by some day, it's just a few blocks from here,” you suggest

“Sure, that sounds cool! How long do you work there?” he asks and you start to feel melancholic

“Well, I have always loved cakes, that shouldn't be a surprise cause who doesn't?!” you joke and laugh, Jaehyun laughs too and nods, agreeing with you, “so when I was younger, my grandpa taught me my first recipe,” you start talking and glance at Jaehyun. He looks adorable. His bangs are spread all over his forehead, his hair look really soft.

You've noticed that everytime he was focused paying attention, his mouth stayed slightly opened and he nodded unknowingly. He was attentive, you liked that about him.

“So thanks to him I started taking baking classes. After a year I decided that I wanted to work work with it and tried to find a job related to it. It wasn't easy, I was young, inexperienced and honestly didn't have anything to offer, but I wanted to learn. So one day I met June.” Jaehyun notices that you started bitting your bottom lip and avoiding eye contact

The thing about being an elementary teacher is that they deal with different kids everyday, so they are aware of the fact that every kid reacts to a situation differently. Some of Jaehyun students had the habit of fidgeting with their legs when they were nervous, others, with their hands. One of the girls had the habit of curling the strands of her hair when she was overthinking. One of the guys couldn't look at Jaehyun's face when he was lying. Jaehyun payed attention to all of that and he noticed when you started to get uncomfortable talking about June.

“Y/N, you don't have to talk about–” he starts talking but you interrupt, “No, don't worry, I wanna talk. It's just, I haven't talked about this in a while but it's okay” you tell him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am,” you assure him. “I lost my grandma when I was a baby, so I don't have memories of her other than pictures and some stories that my granpa told me, so June was kind of my grandma figure” you gaze at Jaehyun and feel that he's actually listening to you, not just hearing, “she was my first boss, she had taught me everything I know now.” You remember how difficult it was to convince June that you were willing to learn what she had to teach you. At first, you helped her with anything she needed in exchange of her teaching you about baking and confections. After a year and a couple months, and a lot of pleads, June had let you put your first cake at the bakery's display. You still remember how you felt when she told you that you had sold your first cake

“June told me her secrets, how to treat the customers properly and she gave me a lot of advices that I will carry with me forever,” Jaehyun was smiling sweetly at you. “She treated me like her granddaughter. But she nagged a lot at me too,” you two laugh and you carry on, “but everything I know now is thanks to her.”

“What happened to her?” Jaehyun questions

“She passed away a couple of years ago.” You see Jaehyun's eyes widen

“Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked,” he apologizes

“It's okay,” you smile, “It was a difficult time but she always said that I should be a strong woman and learn how to deal with shit life throws at me, losing a loved one being one of them” you lock eyes with Jaehyun and he nods

“But anyway. June didn't have any inheritor, so she left the bakery to me,” Jaehyun seems surprised, and to be honest, so did you when you found out that you were the owner of the place that you loved so much

“Really?!”

“Yes, really. I don't like to say that I'm the owner of the place because June started everything, she started from the bottom, so I really don't feel like I own it. Legally, yes, but it's only because of her,” you explain to him. “I only told you this because you are cute and a good listener,” you flirt a little and you could see his dimples showing on his cheeks

“I’m glad you feel comfortable enough around me to tell me about it”, he says and smiles, allowing you to see for the first time the crinkles on his face. They make him seem adorable

“I think my story took longer than I expected,” you joke, “but I should go. I need to open the bakery and I don't want you to get late either” he agrees and you two get out of your seats, heading to the door.

“I'm glad we talked today, Y/N” Jaehyun starts talking, “I didn't want you to feel forced to talk to me only because your friend wanted you to,” he seems genuine, “but I'm happy you texted back and we had this, mmm, kind of date?!” his ears turn red, and you find that extremely lovable, but agrees nevertheless

“I didn't want you to feel forced either. To be honest I wasn't expecting us to meet so soon but I'm happy we did, and I hope we can keep talking?” you enquire. “Sure, that sounds good” he agrees and tells you he would text you later. You wave him goodbye and head to your work.

Jaehyun was easy to talk to. You noticed that he was kind of shy, and more of a listener than a talker, but he was willing to have a conversation with you and you felt lucky for that. It was a good way to start your day.

You walk a few blocks until the bakery and see that Mark is already at the door waiting for you

“Hi fat head,” you greet him and he pouts while you unlock the door

“Hey, my head is not that big, ok?” He whines

You roll your eyes and smile to your friend, “Sure, baby,” you both enter the bakery and Mark goes straight to the cash register.

You hired him after he mentioned how hard it was to find a job. You have always found Mark smart and fully capable and you trusted him, so you offered him a part-time job as a cashier, since he had to go to college and take care of his younger brother sometimes.

It was good to have him working with you. You never said it out loud, but you felt happy whenever Mark was around. After Luna tried setting you both up, you two decided to stay friends. He still flirted with you sometimes, but in a friendly way. He had made clear that he adored you and loved being your friend, and said that maybe you didn't feel attracted to him because you were meant to be just friends. You agreed with him.

You go to the kitchen and start reading your orders for the day.

After hours, you take a moment to rest. You have always loved baking, it put you in a good mood. There was moments in your life were you randomly went to the kitchen, to divert your mind out of a concern and relieve stress. You love what you do.

You look for your phone and notice that you have a new message from Jaehyun

[New message from Jaehyun]: “Thank you for today, I had a pleasant time. I hope we can get to know more about each other,” you crack a smile and start typing a message to him when Mark comes rushing through the kitchen’s door

“Y/N... there's a, mm... customer, demanding to talk to you,” he sounds anxious and you wonder if there's something wrong with one of your cakes

“Did something happen?”

“N-no, he just, wants to talk” You barely had any problems with your orders. Every time a mistake happened it was due to the lack of explanation from the customer, not yours.

“Why are you so agitated?” You said, heading towards the front of the store, with Mark following your steps, “If you did something wrong tell me now and we can fix it”, 

“No, I didn't do anything, I promise, it's your–“ Mark was interrupted by a voice, a voice that you have never forgotten

“Y/N!”

No. No. No.

Note: hi! I hope this isn't too boring, i wanted you guys to know more about y/n and a little about Jaehyun lol hope you like it, thank you for reading and feel free to send asks!

happyjaehyunday <3

[robininthelabyrinth]

My half of a fic-art trade with @waterwindow, who who wanted comics-based!Digger Harkness/Sam Scudder

I went with "locked in a room together" :) I hope you enjoy!

ao3 link

--

"I can't believe Cold locked us in this stupid room," Sam grumbles.

"I can't believe that he was right that we wouldn't leave till we finished the snacks," Digger replies, reaching out to snatch another bag of chips from the pile Cold had left behind.

Sam makes a face in agreement, looking down at the beer he had in one hand and the pretzels in the other. "I could get out of here anytime, you know," he says, because it's important to establish that he's here voluntarily. Even if it's only voluntarily because he's a sucker for a particular brand of pretzels and somehow Cold knows it. "With my mirrors -"

"Yeah, yeah, and I could bust the door lock with my boomerangs," Digger says, waving a hand. "And still: here we both are, innit true?"

"Maybe I think the man's got a point, Cap'n," Sam protests mildly, taking another swing of his beer. This is a blatant lie to save face, and Digger knows it, and worse, he knows that Digger knows it. Digger's not wrong in that they could both leave whenever they really wanted, but damnit, Cold did plan this out really well: he's got his favorite armchair, some beer and his favorite snacks. It's a pretty good inducement to stick around. Even if it does mean Cold was right about his plan to keep them in here, which gets Sam's goat a bit. Whatever, he'll figure out some way to take revenge later. "I mean, he only shoved us in here so we'd figure out how to combine our styles better, my mirrors, your boomerangs. It ain't necessarily a bad idea."

"We already combine our styles," Digger says. "S'why we're the Rogues, yeah? I go in with my boomerangs, you lot get in my way -"

"You mean you get in my way."

"Hah! Don't be ridiculous, Scuds. You're too reflexive to get anywhere."

"Uh-huh. And what about you? You always end up right where you started - ain't that your thing?"

"I do it on purpose," Digger says with great dignity, which would work except for the way his turquoise hat flops over his bright red hair when he slouches further down and shoves another handful of chips in his mouth.

"Can't see how doing it on purpose helps you much," Sam drawls, "given that where you started out - and end up - is usually prison."

"You say that like you had any successes before we all joined up."

"Says the man's big idea was to try to boomerang the Flasher to the moon and back," Sam says snippily. "At least I managed to shrink him to the size of a mouse -"

"He grew back, didn't he?"

"Well, yeah, but it still worked."

"Didn't he catch you the first time by turning off the lights?"

Sam huffs. If he wasn't so comfortable, he'd make something of Digger's little jabs. But as it is... "We have gotten more successes by working together, though."

"True," Digger concedes. He hasn't gotten up either, and his fingers are colored orange from that awful Aussie chips brand he can't get enough of; he won't start a real fight until he's had a chance to lick them clean. "But I don't see why we've got to practice it or nothing. Too much like work. Besides, you know your thing, I know mine..."

"It's like the United States," Sam says thoughtfully. "We've all got our different strengths, like the different states, and we could fight separately but together, but we're bound to be even stronger if we combine them into one attack instead of a bunch of different ones that the Flasher can take down one at a time. You know what I mean?"

"Nah, mate," Digger replies, deliberately exaggerating his Australian accent. "I ain't got no idea what you're on about, mate."

"Oh come off it," Sam says. "You've been out of the bush for years. You're as Central City as the rest of us."

"No one's as Central City as Cold."

Sam shrugs. It's probably true. He's pretty sure Cold spends his rare vacations away from the city pining for it.

Digger snorts, which either means Sam said that out loud or that Digger's thoughts have been going the same way. That is something Sam appreciates about Digger - they've got the same instincts, the same innate style.

Maybe that bullcrap he just blathered about figuring out how to work together better more really wasn't a bad idea.

"You could always shove a mirror onto one of my boomerangs," Digger offers, starting to lick the chip dust off his fingers. "We've done that before."

"Yeah," Sam agrees, slouching down further in his own chair to think. "It's sometimes hard to get an angle when just part of the boomerang's a mirror, though - can't you just use a boomerang made entirely of glass? I know you've done that a few times."

"And nearly cut my fingers to ribbons every time," Digger snorts. "The fact that I can doesn't mean I want to."

"I could work up one of my light generators into the boomerang instead," Sam offers. "And set the mirrors in place in advance, so that when you throw, it activates the mirrors."

"That might work," Digger says. "But what'll it do? Another hologram? Flasher's gotten wise to that; he's just started running though 'em."

"So we'll make a hologram of a door where there isn't one or something."

"Hah!" Digger exclaims. "And then he runs straight into it and bam! Just like Wile E. Coyote."

"Except for once it's the roadrunner getting bashed," Sam agrees, smirking at the mental image.

"Could be this work-together-on-plans crap idea's got something to it after all," Digger says. "I'm still going to tar and feather Cold's bed and tell him Heatwave did it."

Sam snorts. "Count me in on that."

They clink their beers together in agreement, then relax in silence for a few minutes, mulling the idea over.

"Maybe we could do something with some sort of portable light trap," Sam suggests. "Y'know, the way I set up with my mirrors, except attach 'em all to your lightning-fast boomerangs. That way we could catch the Flasher in mid-stride."

"Heh. That might trip him up."

"Not to mention bend him to our will."

"I like that one," Digger says admiringly. "Works for both of us. Say, do you still have that hypnosis glass? That stuff was great."

"You only say that 'cause you pulled a trick on me with them," Sam grumbles. Stupid Gotham. No one ever had any luck in Gotham.

"Nah! It was just cool. If we used it on a whole bunch of people in advance - maybe through my boomerangs going through a crowd - we could get 'em all in on attacking Flasher when he arrives."

Sam can't help but start to grin. "Digger," he drawls. "Are you suggesting that we attack the Flash with - a flash mob?"

Digger bursts out laughing. "Yeah," he says, still sniggering. "Guess I am."

Sam isn't much better. Maybe he's had too many of these beers - he wouldn't put it past Cold to spike them with something stronger, and given the taste and general quality of them, he's not sure he'd notice if they had been - but it's the funniest idea he's ever heard.

"We'll have to find a good job to do that with," he decides.

"You bet," Digger agrees enthusiastically. "I bet if we put our heads together, we can come up with some more really great ones like that."

"But not here," Sam decides, putting down the beer and looking suspiciously at the food. Sure, it all looks vacuum-sealed, but who knew where this general feeling of bonhomie came from? Even if it was with Digger, who he liked rather a bit more than the rest of the Rogues.

Quite a bit more, if the last few times they'd ended up in bed together stood for anything...huh. Maybe that's what Cold had been getting at, putting them in a room together? Some sort of matchmaker gig? It's been a while since they’d shacked up, and they’d both been getting kind of pissy around each other recently.

…nah.

"Where, then?" Digger asks.

"A bar," Sam decides, pulling out a pocket mirror to bust open the lock Cold had put on the door.

"Best idea you've had all night," Digger exclaims. "Let's go get pissed."

"No sooner said than done," Sam says, kicking open the door. "Let's go."

The first bar was great. As was the second one they visited after they got thrown out of the first one on account of getting a bit too rowdy with the other customers.

It took Digger until the third bar to start ragging on about Sam's color scheme the way he always did when he was particularly snozzled.

"Orange!" he groans. "And it's such a crap shade of orange, too -"

"I didn't pick it for the colors," Sam says, then smirks. He's pretty drunk, too. "Though I must say I look fine as hell in orange. Not everyone can pull that color off and still look good."

"It's prison orange, is what it is," Digger grumbles. "Gives me bad associations."

"Bad associations, huh? That's how you always end up in my bed, is it?"

"Usually my bed, y’mean," Digger shoots back, drunk enough for his usual paranoia over being queer to dissipate. "You're too damn prissy to want to worry about a wet spot in yours."

Still drunk enough to be bitchy, though.

Sadly, Sam finds Digger at his most bitchy weirdly attractive.

Clearly he's taken one too many hits to the head from the Flash.

"All right," Sam says agreeably. "I'm easy. Your bed, then. Tell me, is it the orange that lures you in?"

"No!"

Sam sniggers.

"And don't go saying you're easy," Digger continues, throwing an arm over his shoulders. "You're pretty hard to pull, you know that? Been trying for weeks."

"You mean I've been trying for weeks!" Sam exclaims. "You've been avoiding me."

"Have not."

"Have so."

"Have - whatever. Want to blow this joint?"

"Literally?" Sam asks, blinking at the bartender. There's two of him. Kind of like Multiple Man. Or maybe Sam's drunker than he thought. "Dunno, didn't think they were that bad."

Digger gives it serious consideration. "Nah," he finally says. "S'a good bar."

He reaches over and pats the bar the way one would a friendly dog.

Sam shakes his head. "Let's go home," he suggests.

"I thought you'd never ask," Digger replies. "Also, you totally missed a chance to make a 'hard' pun."

"Maybe I was saving it."

"Yeah, I bet you were."

"I'll have you know my skills extend pretty far on the light spectrum," Sam says. "Including my mastery of hard light."

Digger snorts. "And I'm a master of handling a stick. You wanna get out of here and have me to throw yours?"

"Not literally."

"No, not literally, you little -"

"Home sounds good," Sam says, lurching to his feet.

"Yeah," Digger says. "Sure does."

They even find time to steal some tar for Cold's bed on the way.

[queennicoleinboots]

Chapter 10 of Completely Out of Sync: Too Many Frustrations of the New Millennium – Not Found in Statham, GA (Joebear POV)

“GET INSIDE!” Blondie Black screamed from inside the house.

Ruby Black, Baby Black, and I ran toward the house as fast as we could to get out of the waterfall that descended from the sky. We could barely see in front of us as the rain water hit the hot ground below us. Gotta love this insane humidity. Mist choked the air.

Baby Black farted again as she ran ahead of me.

“Thank you for farting,” I said as I waved my paw in front of my face to avoid smelling it. “Again.”

Ruby Black started coughing behind me. She and I started laughing before we became trapped in the fart cloud. We were truly soaked before we finally entered the house. The wooden floor was becoming soaked. Baby Black, Ruby Black, and I shook the water out of our fur.

I guess I was stuck there until it was safe to call AAA to jump the battery in that piece of shit Nissan Versa. The worst part was AAA always took forever, and they are going to have a hell of a time finding me on this property. If it weren’t storming like mass hell outside, AAA would have a possible chance of finding me. But, I would rather be safe with these four dogs than to try to escape Statham, GA in this kind of weather. This kind of weather has literally blanketed this area all day, but it was horrible now. I swear that Hurricane Fuck Off was outside banging at the windows of this cottage. There was no way I was going to get my fur muddy by being out in that shit. There was no way Baby and Ruby Black were going to stay out in that weather. There was no way that BearBear and Blondie Black were even going to be able to stay on the ground if they went out there. Those two would be blown away by the wind. So, we were stuck in the cottage being battered by a hellstorm.

I took this moment to call my wife. I missed her.

“BAAAAAEEEEWHUHHHHHHHH!!!!!” she sang to greet me.  

“BaeBae!” I shouted out of excitement.

The dogs barked and howled to greet Xara.

“Oh hello, Blondie!” she shouted. “How are you doing?”

Blondie Black got on my phone and started blurting shit out. “Xara! Oh my God the craziest shit has been happening here! Goofy-looking dumbasses with typical lab coats were here at the house. One of them even looked like a clown posed as a doctor. How the fuck did this guy get this job? It seems that the Veterans Administration would hire anyone who can wipe his ass and not leave a skidmark in his underwear.”

We all fucking burst out laughing. Blondie Black definitely didn’t pull any punches. Ruby Black was rolling on the floor and literally laughing.

“Yeah, that’s typical of the Veterans Administration. Is your family okay?” she asked.

“Uhhhh yeah… about that. They were abducted-” Blondie Black started to say before BearBear Black cut her off by tackling her.

“ARRESTED! THEY WERE ARRESTED BY THE POLICE COMING STRAIGHT FROM THE UNDERGROUND!” BearBear Black shouted at my wife.

“WE GOT IT BAD BECAUSE WE’RE BROWN!” Ruby Black shouted.

Xara couldn’t help but crack up. “Arrested? For what?!” she asked.

“They were arrested for nudity,” I explained to her.

“Really? On their own property?” she asked with a bit of a laugh.

“Yes, it seems she had been indecently exposing herself again... on her own property,” I explained to her as I was actually confused by the logic. “The police really have gone overboard. It’s unreal. There is no privacy anywhere. You don’t own your own property. The banks still charge property taxes every year. The cops run wild on 'your' property. It’s all bullshit. I’ll be honest. I don’t even fully understand what’s going on.”

“Yeah, that’s ridiculous. Are they in prison?! And what happened to Lorraine Black’s phones?!” she asked as she sounded like she was getting irate.

“The Veterans Administration pulled rank and had the phones shut off,” I answered plainly. Baby Black barked in the background to affirm my statement.

“UGH! Fuck the VA! They strip every veteran of his rights!” she shouted.

“There are female veterans out there, ya know!” Blondie Black boldly corrected her.

‘Who the fuck cares?’ I thought.

“Okay. They strip every veteran of his or HER rights,” Xara said. “And don’t get me started on how shitty the healthcare system in the United, or should I say Divided States of America is. For the military nonetheless? Geez. No wonder I deal with sick dumbasses all day. These people don’t give a fuck about Veterans.”

Blondie Black howled to affirm her statement. “Yes, and they have clown doctors! Come on! This bullshit is medieval. I wish we would just evolve already. It’s 2020, and this is the best medical care available in the United States: clown doctors, pills that make us sicker instead of better, and bullshit vitamins that barely cover our essential nutritional needs. I don’t buy that. These people WANT US TO BE SICK AND DUMB!” she shouted with a series of barks.

BearBear Black, Ruby Black, and Baby Black barked like hell in agreement. I agreed with them, too, so I did what any bear would do if he strongly agreed with something: growl like King Bear. I growled so loudly that the cottage shook. I even started laughing hysterically as the cottage shook. I couldn’t breathe, and I couldn’t handle this world no more.

“Holy Shit!” BearBear Black said as her fur stood on edge as she stared at me with bewildered dark blue eyes.

Xara laughed maniacally. “Not to mention that most doctors are foreign because Americans apparently don’t know shit about the medical field at all. Think about it. When you go to college, most people that major in medicine are fucking foreign. Especially Indian, Spanish, or Asian. In fact, the Indian, Spanish, and I daresay the Chinese language has infiltrated its way into the vernacular here in America. English WAS supposed to be the official language in this country, but nope. Americans are too big of pussies to stick up for their own bullshit language, so they allow every Tom, Dick, and Harry to morph our language into something that not even Einstein can figure out! I wish the United States was united, but it's really not. The states all seem to be doing their own thing when it comes to handling COVID-19. We as a people are politically and religiously divided. The States of America just seem to have a smorgasbord of people who have nothing in common other than the fact that they live in North America. Some aren't even citizens. So yeah, we are more divided," she shouted over the phone. Uh oh. My wife was going on another rant again.

“The doctors don’t give a damn about your health. It’s all about the money,” I said flatly. “The Rothschilds and the Rockafellers have monopolized the insurance companies, and the insurance companies govern the way healthcare is done in this country. It’s an absolute fucking joke!”

The Black dogs all barked and howled in agreement to what I was saying. BearBear Black even farted as she jumped up and down and barked. That dog was pissed off and nothing to fuck with.

“It really is. It’s crazy. Even with home health care, you can work as hard as you can for four fucking years, but if you have a bad month, the coordinators don’t give a fuck. It’s all about money. It’s all about numbers. They don’t give a damn about the employees or the customers. Their mission statement is a fucking lie. By the way, one of their mission points is face-to-face conversations with everyone, but with COVID-19, that’s completely out the window. In other news, thank God I have my own cleaning company. Home health care agencies are absolute total bullshit at this point. And who the fuck wants anyone in their home anyway right now?” she ranted in a shaky voice. She was so pissed that she was starting to malfunction.

“Well, I wasn’t trying to upset you, baby,” I said to try to calm her down. I didn’t like seeing her upset.

The Black dogs were just going to town with the barking and howling. Baby Black got pissed and kicked a table leg. I was getting a headache from all of the noises.

This was one of those moments where I wished I had a juicy steak to share with these dogs. They were probably hungry. I got up to find them something to eat while Xara was just bitching about the status quo, Peter Wallace Parker (who can be a real fucking asshole sometimes), and how she had no coffee. She was hungry, too. She forgot her lunch AGAIN. I wanted to beat her ass for that, but this was not the time to tell her that. There were five angry bitches in my presence, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to survive.

“I’m fucking hungry!” Baby Black screamed.

“I’m fucking hungry, too. Come to think of it!” Blondie Black said as she was moving in and out of my legs.

“Stop! Lay down!” I screamed at Blondie Black. I was looking for dog food and finally found it in the last kitchen cabinet to the right. The balls of my feet were killing me. Probably from stress.

To tell you the truth, I was hungry, too, but not as hungry as these dogs. BearBear and Blondie Black were literally diving into the bag of food the minute I pulled it out of the cabinet.

“Goddammit! I’m trying to feed you!” I shouted as I scooped out the dog food with my bear hands and threw it at the bitches.

Baby and Ruby Black were eating like crazy. Meanwhile, my wife was still yammering on about something.

“Oh! I forgot my lunch goddammit!” Xara said loudly as she slapped herself on the forehead.

‘Are you serious?’ I thought. ‘Wow, my wife is braindead sometimes!’

“Order a pizza tonight,” I said. “I have no idea when the fuck I’m getting out of here. This storm actually has me locked in here with four hungry female dogs. And I’m hungry!”

“THERE’S HONEY IN THE CABINET SOMEWHERE!” Blondie Black yelled in between her munching in the bag.

“Thank you, Blondie,” I said as I ransacked the cabinets to find the honey. Once I did, I bit into the honey bottle and started eating the honey. Fuck table manners. Only pretentious people use those!

“You are strong, Joebear Campinelli!” Ruby Black said as she laughed a little bit.

Good Lord, this dog was horny. I took a deep breath and tried to resist the power of Ruby Black.

Meanwhile, I heard Peter Wallace Parker scream a blood-curdling scream on the other side of my wife’s phone. I cringed and asked, “Is everything okay, my love?”

“No, baby. Peter is having yet another meltdown. I need to tend to him,” she said.

“Okay, baby. Be careful,” I said. “Love you.”

“LOVE YOU, BOO!!!!” she shouted.

I hung up the phone and decided it was time to give Ruby Black the rub of her life. She was a dog, and dogs deserve to be petted. In fact, I planned to pet ALL of these bitches before the night was out.

“Okay, all done!” Blondie Black exclaimed as she rushed under me and started pawing at my knees.

I lifted Blondie Black and started petting her and kissing her cheeks. She was such a baby. She was whining and making grunts as I was scratching her back.

Ruby Black then came over and started pawing at my knees.

I put Blondie Black down and then kneeled down to pet both of those dogs. They both lied on their backs as I played with them and pet them.

BearBear and Baby Black were still eating while Blondie and Ruby Black were getting tons of affection from my bear paws.

There was a knock at the door. All four dogs rushed to the door and started barking their heads off.

I blinked and thought to myself, ‘What the fresh hell is going on here?’

“Fuck off!” BearBear Black shouted through the door.

“I could if I would, but I have been ordered to be here,” the man at the door said. “I need to speak to the head of household.”

“He’s not here,” Blondie Black said.

“Understood. Who is next in command?” the man at the door asked.

“I am!” BearBear Black shouted. “State your business!”

“Oh bullshit, BearBear! I am next in command,” Baby Black said as she pushed the door open to reveal herself. Her light blue eyes pierced through the clown in the white coat at the door. Her ears were pinned down as she was ready to fuck this guy up.

The other three dogs were baring their teeth at him as they almost pounced on that poor son of a bitch.

“What the fresh hell is going on here?” the clown man asked as he blinked.

Baby Black pounced on him and knocked him on his back against the wooden porch.

“Holy shit. I might faint!” the clown said as he stared fearfully into Baby Black’s blue eyes of death.

“We have the same question for you,” BearBear Black said as she scurried toward his face and started barking.

“I WAS SENT HERE TO DO A CENSUS FOR THE VETERANS ADMINISTRATION! PLEASE DON’T HURT ME!” the clown screamed as tears were going down his eyes.

“Fuck you,” BearBear Black shouted as she barked at him.

“The Veterans Administration is the same reason that I am the head of household AS A DOG!” Baby Black said in a low voice as she growled at him. Her teeth were sharp, and she was nothing to fuck with.

“Yes. What the fresh hell is going on here?” Blondie Black asked as she scurried over to the clown’s face. “How do you not know what’s going on?”

“Honestly, no one tells me anything. I have to come to the houses and confirm everything,” the clown said as he started crying.

“There, there,” Blondie Black said as she nuzzled up against him. “I can imagine that your job is very stressful.”

“It is… it is…,” the clown said as he literally started bawling. “All I wanted to do was provide city data for veterans who want to retire. They worked hard when they were in service. The least we could do is give them data to figure out the best place to live after going through the horrors of war…”

“Well, this place isn’t it,” BearBear Black said as she barked. “This place is a fucking hell hole. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY TECHNOLOGY ON?!”

I waved my cell phone stupidly at BearBear Black. “You want me to turn this off, correct?” I asked.

“YEAHHHHHHHHHH,” BearBear Black said. “Why the fuck would you have that thing on anyway when the Veterans Administration is here?!”

“Excuse me, Princess,” I said as I turned my cell phone off. “I was in the middle of eating this ice cream.”

“WHO IS THAT MAN?!” the clown asked.

“None of your business!” Ruby Black shouted as she circled around his head. “He does not live here! He is visiting! IS VISITING NOW ILLEGAL BECAUSE OF COVID-19?! DO EVEN DOGS AND BEARS HAVE TO WEAR MASKS NOW?!”

The other three dogs barked in his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to gather data. Are there any humans here?” he asked.

BearBear Black shook her ass and just stared at him like he was a retard. “What kind of a retarded question is that?”

“A retarded question that all Veterans Administration census workers unfortunately have to ask. May I access a pen please? Are those allowed in this non-technological house?” the clown asked as he rolled his eyes. I could tell he was over these four dogs getting in his space.

Baby Black got off of him and sat down in front of him.

The clown sat up and reached his pen and pad.

“TURN OFF YOUR GODDAMN CELLPHONE OR WHATEVER TECHNOLOGICAL DEVICE YOU HAVE!” BearBear Black screamed at him as she was in his face and barking at him.

“All right. All right. Damn you’re insistent, dog woman,” the clown said as he turned his many technological devices off to appease this fucked-up dog.

“Thank you. Now you can start writing,” BearBear Black said.

Baby Black barked a strong bark as she still stared him down with her icy blue eyes.

“Is all of that barking really necessary?” the clown asked as he was writing down some answers to questions that he unfortunately already knew.

“Is that a question on your census?” BearBear Black asked.

“Son of a bitch, I actually have to look,” the clown said as he flipped through this book of questions to find it. A few minutes later, he actually found the damn question. “Actually, yes. It’s on the side questionnaire that’s in Section C for if the poor son of a bitch veteran has a dog.”

“Let me clarify that Diamond Black, Tim Black’s mother, was actually not a bitch at all. She was the sweetest and most intelligent woman of all time,” Blondie Black corrected. “Is that question still on your census?”

The clown scrolled down a couple pages before he looked at Blondie Black straight in the face and said, “Yes. It would have been horrible if you had mistaken Tim Black's mother for his father, ya know. We would have had to go through this process all over again.”

“Thar would have been a real bitch. In that case, we will be more than happy to answer your question. It is always necessary for a dog to bark. It is a form of communication, a way of life, a way of being. Without a bark, who is a dog?” Blondie Black stated.

“That’s beautiful. I wish I had room to put that,” the clown said.

“Do you have a ‘notes’ section?” Blondie Black asked.

“Jesus Christ this is going to take forever,” Ruby Black said as she laid down and sighed.

BearBear Black sat near the clown and looked at the answers he was writing on the questionnaire.

“I do,” the clown said as he went to the very last page and wrote down Blondie Black’s quote about barking. “What is your name, great dog?”

“Blondie Black!” she answered as she puffed out her small blonde chest in pride.

“You are appropriately named,” the clown said as he quoted Blondie Black. “Now to get back to the task at hand, I have to ask this retarded question again, and I expect a retarded answer. Do any humans live at this residence?”

BearBear Black growled at him. “No,” she said.

He wrote down the answer with wide eyes. “Are the people of the house deceased?”

“HOW THE FUCK SHOULD WE KNOW?! YOU WOULD KNOW MORE THAN WE WOULD?!” BearBear Black shouted at him.

Coyotes howled into the evening.

“Do the coyotes live here?” the clown asked.

“Yes, but they literally just moved in. We know nothing about them,” Baby Black answered.

The clown looked frantically through the questionnaire for about five minutes.

Ruby Black sighed and looked into the yard where her dog pen used to be. It was in shambles all over the yard. The storm fucked it up.

“Well, as long as anyone doesn’t live inside the house, I don’t have to question them. Thank God. I wasn’t in the mood to be eaten by coyotes,” the clown said.

“Neither are we. Can we get on with it!?” Baby Black asked.

“Yes ma’am,” the clown said. He then started asking a bunch of questions. The dogs answered them as honestly as they thought they could without the flood gates of hell opening upon their life.

I was literally eating the bag of chips after eating all of the chips before they finally finished answering the questions three hours later. It was dark outside. My wife was worried about me, I’m sure.

The clown then thanked the dogs and disappeared into the night. Apparently, everyone disappears in Statham, GA.

“You can turn your technology back on,” BearBear Black said as she approached me. She walked like a wind-up toy from the 80s.

“Thank you,” I said to BearBear Black as I turned my cell phone on. As soon as the screen loaded, I called my wife again.

[zombiegirl3878-blog]

Welcome To The Family

CHAPTER 3.

The girls looked at their man like asking, ‘who the fuck is that?’

“Yeah...um….alright.” Shit, I just fucked a chick and here is Angelica. He walked her to the side of the house to have some privacy, “what’s up?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said. At first, I was scared shitless because I’ve seen on the news about murders all the time and they seem to say it was mafia related. I am quite scared for my life because my boyfriend is in the mafia which means you must have enemies right?” Dominic wasn’t even listening to her because he was still buzzed and high off his mind and he could of swear he smelt like sex.

“Dom, baby….” “Huh, sorry.” He ran his fingers through his hair. She looked at him oddly then repeated the question, “you must have enemies right? Like the girl in the video?”

“Yes, of course I do. I have a lot.  They just don’t have to the balls to come at me because all has failed in the past.” His shoulders rise as if it was no big deal to him.

“See, usually…..this is going to sound silly.” Angelica moved a piece of black hair away from eyes as she was looking down, “in the mafia movies, the enemies tend to attack the person by getting at their loved ones.” Dominic couldn’t help but to laugh. Angelica looked at him with a serious face so he stopped laughing and cleared his throat, “well the movies are accurate. Some of them.” Angelica stood straight, looking as if she was wanting to look tough, “I want in.”

Dominic gave her a funny look, lips parted, “come again?” “I want to be part of this lifestyle of yours. I can do things. I sure as hell can talk good business.” Dominic scratched his head this time, unsure what to say about that. “I can take care of myself Dominic, just teach me what you do, what your men do.” She continued on. “Yeah,,,,,,you really need to think about that Angelica. This is not something you want to get involved with because once you are in, you cannot get out. Only way out is a bullet through your head and that is that.” Dominic explained the danger of the mafia.

“Jesus Dom, I had two weeks to think about it. I can do this.” Dominic didn’t want to stay at the party anymore after hearing what Angelica wanted. Instead, he took her home and they talked all the rest of the night till morning and Angelica had convinced him that she can do whatever he asks of. Dominic had told her that he would think about it and left her with that. Dominic felt like shit right now. Not because Angelica wanted in, wanted things to work out between the two after he just randomly fucked some girl, he was tired as fuck and feeling like sick to his stomach because of the intake of booze. Instead of going home, Dominic dropped by this Cafe that he’s always passing. Parking by the curb, he got down and entered the place with the front door bell ringing. “Hello sir, just sit where ever you like.” The waitress behind the counter told him. A plump redhead with a blue waitress dress on and of course the usual white apron. There wasn’t many people in so he just took a seat at the counter. His elbows met the surface as he settled his head into his hands, groaning because of the headache he has.

“Can I suggest coffee?” Another waitress approached him that he rose his head and nodded softly, “yes please.”

She chuckled softly as she grabbed a coffee cup and the coffee. Placing the cup down, she started to pour him some, “you must of had a good time.”

Oh yes, she has no idea how good it was, “actually I had. Been a long ass time since I had that much fun.”

The waitress gave him a small smile. Now this one was a blonde who had her hair all up into a bun. Her make-up was good. Not looking like a clown and her breasts just pops out, like the buttons would literally pop off if they get any bigger, “you seem young…..keep on having that fun.” Next she grabbed a menu from down below and placed it in front of him, “be back, gotta tend to another customer.” A wink was given and she walked off, in which he couldn’t help but to lean into the counter and watch.

Jesus, what the hell is going on with me? Dominic shook his head, hearing the door chime.

Dominic looked over and saw it was Sara that entered, looking like hell too. He couldn’t help but to laugh as he started to pour his sugar and cream into his coffee and gave it a twirl with the spoon.

“You know, I’ve been coming here since I was a kid and never, have I ever seen you in here.” Sara approached him, sitting on the stool next to him.

“This is the first. I just needed to get some coffee and food in my system.” Dominic admitted. Right now, he couldn’t care less if Sara was there or not. His head was hurting, his stomach was growling and he was hungry as fuck.

“Well you came to the right spot for that.” She said with a smile and quickly made it disappear since she was smiling at him. The waitress came back seeing Sara there in which she didn’t need to ask Sara for anything. Sara always has her usual. Coffee, eggs medium done, bacon, ham and hash browns with wheat toast so she started to write it down as she turned her back on them.

With the two sitting close, it was very quiet, till Dominic finally broke the three minute silent. “You look like shit.”

Sara began to laugh, “you look worse? What, big party, got drunk….took a skank to her home, fucked her and came here?”

“Wow, you really think low of me.”

“Can’t help it big boy. You’re a fucking ass. A dick, bastard….” “You can stop there.” Dominic had to laugh some more, “but you’re wrong. Just party, smoked weed….till the dawn.” Liar. He’s not going to mention about Angelica. “Mhm.” Sara squinted his eyes at him.

“So what will be?” The waitress turned to get Dominic’s order. “Steak and eggs, over easy and a glass of orange juice….oh and make the steak medium rare.” He handed the menu back to the waitress with a smile, “so how’s business?”

Sara looked down, swallowing a large lump in her throat, “good as usual…..you?”

“Same ol’ shit. Same cash flowing, same smile on my fathers mug.” All true.

“That is good.” There was something she wanted to tell him but that will only cause them to fight and right now, she just wanted to eat, drink and go home to sleep so their conversation was light. Dominic even paid for her meal and say he’ll see her later. Which caused her heart to jump. What if knows already and he was just keeping his cool because he didn’t want to kill her in front of everyone.

Dominic got home, being greeted by his dog, Chopper. A huge, healthy Rottweiler. It was more his best friend then a dog to Dom, “hey boy.” He knelt down and started to scratch behind the dogs ears, a place where Chopper loves to be scratched. Getting up, Dominic dropped his keys inside a bowl that sat on a small table by the door. His home wasn’t a big one. Just a one bedroom and bath for him. As for his friends, they all had large houses and lot’s of cars, luxury shit. His was simple. Of course he didn’t have taste in decor so his sisters helped him out in that one. Dominic led himself into his bedroom where clothes were being dropped on the floor. He enters his bathroom to take a hot shower. Dom placed his hand on the tile as he leans in and let the hot water hit his shoulders. His mind went wandering off in how in the hell is he going to put Angelica to work for him but at the same time, he didn’t care if she worked for him or not. Like her life doesn’t matter to him anymore.

Then it jumped to having breakfast in the morning. It was nice even though they didn’t speak much. It was unlike them it seems but it was nice to be around her. “Here we go again Dom, you can’t fucking like her.” He smacked his forehead hard and started to wash up the body and hair.

When done, Dom wrapped his towel around his waist, exposing that v-line. All he did was fell on his bed, stomach down and closed his eyes. It was only 10 am so having a nice nap wouldn’t hurt. He had a day off from the shop so today can just be a lazy day for him. In a deep sleep, Dominic didn’t even move for about five hours but he did jump and was wide awake as he heard loud banging at the door. Chopper was pissed and ran to it, barking his scary get the fuck outta here bark. Dominic groaned as he got up, slipping out of his towel. Jumping into some sweats, going commando he walked out of the room and down the hallway, “QUIT KNOCKING SO FUCKING HARD….DAMN!” Dom yelled, pissed like his dog.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR TARD!” Dom can hear his cousin Zack’s voice. Hell the whole neighbor could.

Dom unlocked the door and barely got it open only to have Zack push his way in, walking into the living room, “that bitch is dead Dom. I swear to fucking god I am going to rip her throat out.”

Okay, what the hell is this all about. Dom closed his door and locked it back up. Entering his living room, he looked to his cousin confused. “That fucking whore Sara…..you know what she did?” Zack started to pace back and forth in an angry kind of way.

“What?” Dom asked curiously. “That bitch managed to steal away three of our very important clients. Bob, Gary and Henry, you know….the wallstreet guys?” “You’re kidding? How did she pulled that off?”

“I have no idea. I went there to their place of work as they always wanted to speak of some merch they want to purchase. I got there and they said, ‘sorry buddy but we’re moving to Vegas shit. Hers seem to be much better.’ MOTHER FUCKERS!” Zack shouted out.

Dominic just stood there, thinking in how is her shit better then his. “I am going to her shop and fuck her up.” Zack said, walking towards the door but Dom pushed him back, “you are not going to do shit man. This is my problem, not yours.” “Damn it Dom, if we kill the bitch we get our clients back not to mention, probably all of hers because her father is a pussy mother fucker that is not going to do shit about it.” Zack was practically in Dom’s face, poking his finger into his chest.

“Sebastian is not a pussy man. He’s been crossing boundaries to many fucking times that my grandfather is wanting him dead and until my grandfather gives the okay to do it, then I will but we can’t do anything to Sara, I’ll fucking take care of it.” Dom went into his room and started to get dressed in his usual street attire. Jeans, sleeveless shirt, a cap turned backwards. Zack wanted to come back Dom ordered him to stay the fuck away and handle the other business. Dom had to make a couple of stops for his own business he needed to handle. You know, pay of some people that are helping the Costello’s get away with shit or give them some time to do some trading before sending the heat in.

By the time he was done, he was parked across the street from Sara’s tattoo parlor, watching closely. When he saw Sara locking up the front and turning the sign to close, he got out and walked across the street. Walking into the back, no car was there but Sara’s so Dom had to quickly go in the back door before she comes out. When he got in, he can hear Sara asking her employer if she forgot something and as she came out from her office. Seeing it wasn’t her employee, she gave a dirty look to Dominic, ‘sorry big boy, we’re closed.”

“You know why I am here Sara.” Dominic said as he approached her, towering over her, “what made you think that you can get away from taking away three of our clients huh?”

Sara rolled her eyes and started to walk up to the front with Dominic following close behind, “they’’re mine now, you can’t get them back. That’s business.” She said, bringing that cold hearted bitch out.

Dominic grabbed her arm hard and threw her up against the wall and wrapped his hand around her neck, gripping it, “you know the consequences of fucking with me Sara. I thought we were good with the clients in this fucking city but no, here you are…..being a selfish bitch and taking money out of my fucking pockets. You don’t learn.” Dominic can see she was turning blue that he finally released her and pulled out his gun, aiming it at her. Choking, gasping for air, Sara looked at him with that dirty look again, “you can’t kill me….you do and my father will have your head.”

Dominic started to laugh, “you think so?”

“I know so.” She smirked, “so pull the fucking trigger.” She kind of sang that last part out as she walked up to the barrel of the gun.

Dom tucked his gun away and gave her another shove but Sara shoved back. Still, he could not bring himself to hit her, beat her ass. She acts like a fucking dude so why not treat her like one.

Dominic wanted to so much bust her face but she gave him a good right hook. “Bastard.” She spatted as she shook her hand, feeling her knuckles hurt. Dom’s jaw did hurt a little but it did nothing to him. Before he knew it, she came attacking him, giving him blows to the face, making a cut to his lip. Finally Dominic, grabbed her, not intentionally, on the ass  to lift her up and slam her down on a table. Her head bounced from the force that she closed her eyes and held the back of her head, “are you  fucking done?” Dominic asked, breathing heavily. Sara opened her eyes and saw how he was looking at her, feeling him in between her legs that it caused aches to her core. Sara started to laugh and wrapped her legs around him to lock him in place and slapped him hard. Damn, that had his dick twitching in his jeans, “do it again.”

She did, and even harder. They both had a still moment, looking into each other's eyes before Dominic dove down and kissed her hard. Sara kissed back but after she bit his bottom lip hard, causing more blood to spill out.

Dominic was pitching a huge tent in his jeans and Sara, was wet. The two went at it hard, kissing each other while Sara sat up. Her legs dropped down as she started to fumble with Dominic’s belt. She knocked his cap off to remove his shirt just to see his chiseled chest. Damn. Back to his jeans. He practically ripped her top off, getting it off her body as well as her laced red bra.

Oh fuck, she was blessed with nice titties. Titties that Dominic likes. Handful, mouthful, with nipples that are the right size.

Sara couldn’t help but to see his expressions, “what, are they deformed?”

Dominic shook his head, “they’re fucking perfect.” So perfect his mouth had to get on them. He sucked in a mouthful hard, releasing it with a popping sound and then began on the nipples. Flicking his tongue on them, sucking them, biting them. All that he was doing to her breast alone caused more wetness that she knew her panties were wet. It’s weird because in previous hot moments, she never got turned on so fast. Sara managed to get into his jeans and felt his rock-hard dick, her eyes kind of widen as she started to run down it, wandering when it was going to stop not to mention the girth of that big boy. Shit, this man is going to tear me apart.

After Dom was toying with her nipples, he stood up straight and rode up her skirt up to the waist and removed her red laced panties off, keeping her in her heels. Sara pushed down his jeans and boxers passed his ass and gazed down at what he was working with. Her mouth drawn into o-shape. The rumors were true about this man.

“What, is it to deformed for you?” He laughed.

“Oh god.” Was all she can say before bringing her eyes to his and again, they kissed. Dom wasted no time in grabbing his dick and rolling the mushroom tip around her entrance before pushing it in. Only that had send all kinds of trembles in his body. Sara’s tight hole was intense for Dominic. Unlike the bitch he fucked last night, it took time for him to get all the way into Sara. Poor girl hung onto him, whimpering right into his ear. As much as he wanted to fuck her hard now, he just couldn’t hurt her. What the fuck is wrong with me?

It took about three minutes to be completely inside of her. His arm was around her, holding her close to him as she still clung to him, breathing heavily. Slowly, he started to ride out, closing his eyes so they can roll back just from the feel of it. Eventually, he got Sara to stretch out and was able to pound into her. She seem to like that. Each thrust had the table rocking back and forth. Little did she know, her ass was sitting on some drawings of her employees and they were about to get wet.

“More…..fuck…..more Dom.” She said against his ear. One arm had to leave his built shoulders to plant a hand back on the table so she can lean back, giving them space in between them.

“Harder Dom!” Sara had no clue what had gotten into her but with her previous sex relationships, she always find the pussies that perfer, slow love making and crying at the end because it was so beautiful. Thus the reason for stopping, cutting it off for two years and now here she is, getting that pussy beaten by one sexy mother fucker.

So at her request, Dominic did not hesitate in giving her what she wanted. He started to assault, brutal savagely taking her. His eyes were plastered on her bouncing tits then up to the expression on her face. Sara’s head went back when she held back a cry. That familiar feeling started to come and as Dominic continued to give it to her hard, it all came out, “oooooohh…..myyyyyy.” She hissed after and looked down at his cock working fast and now seeing it glistening with her juices as she came, and came hard that she was trembling.

Dominic felt it and slowed it down to catch his breath, letting her orgasm ride out. Sara crushed her lips to his, whimpering and whimpering that drove the man insane just hearing that. “I want another….oh god just like that.” She whispered to on his lips.

This was truly not what he came here for but hey, who is he to stop it. Dominic pulled out, getting a pouty face from Sara. Like a true man, he handled her like she was a rag doll. He pulled her off the desk and forcefully turned her around and slammed her upper body down on the table.

Is this man fucking for real? I got to be fucking dreaming but I don’t want to wake up. Sara’s mind was rolling as she felt Dominic entered her from behind and gripped her hips and pounded into her and this time, she can hear his grunts.  Sara would say her body was being violated by her enemy but she couldn’t help but to love it. A dark fantasy of being taken so hard in her own place of work where the windows were clear for anyone to look in and see them fucking. It was crazy, adventurous…and she was in heaven as well as Dominic.

Keeping her pinned down on the table by his hand, he sought out his feeling of wanting to cum but he needed her to cum again. So much force in his thrust and so fast. Sweat began to drip down from his face to her ass as it rippled from the smack of him hitting her. Again, Sara moaned out loudly and she climaxed again like never before. She gripped the edge of the table and cried out his name. Instead of her riding it out, he continued to fuck her till he felt his jiz run out of his dick and into her, “fuuuuuck…….shhhhhiiiit. God damn!” He yelled out, dropping his head as he grasped her shoulder, pulling her down onto him as he kept buried in her, letting his semen spill out into her. Then he released her shoulder a bit and gave some more thrusting. That hit her again with a mini orgasm that she couldn’t stand. Her legs were weak but Dominic had his hold on her, again burying himself in her to let the rest out. Both of their genitals were throbbing in sync.

Dominic pressed his chest against her back, taking some time to catch his breath. Now came the moment of awkwardness. After Dominic caught his breath and started to see straight, he rose up and slowly pulled out, seeing all her juices and his semen pouring out of her hole. Damn, just seeing that he could go for round two.

He backed up and picked up his boxers and jeans, not liking the uncomfortable feeling his dick being wet and sticky, but he tuck his dick back in there and started to buckle up as his eyes stood on her ass. Finally, Sara found the strength to get up, legs shaky and all. She pulled her skirt down and turned around, fixing her messed up long curls. She smiled softly as he got her bra from the floor and placed it on. Both were quiet, now not even looking at each other. “Do you mind giving me some paper towels in the bathroom?” She asked.

Completely dressed with his cap back on, he nodded his head and went into the bathroom, taking out about five brown paper towels and came back to give it to her.

Sara cleaned herself up and whens he was done, she threw it in the trash. She even had to get rid of the drawings. Again, standing there in front of him, she had nothing to say. He had nothing to say.

“Alright….I uh….” Dominic started to walk backwards, “I got to go.” Sara held herself, nodding, “okay.”

“Later.” Dominic turned and rushed out the back door. If he didn’t get out there he would of fucked her again. Rushing across the street and getting into his car, Dominic sat there with his head rested back. Why did he come to visit her?

He completely forgot.