#I still think these two’s designs came out better than expected. even almost a year l8r

[kamabokobun]

[old art] SM PMD au refs part 2: Lillie & Gladion

[superiorsturgeon]

out of curiosity, why do you like sturgeons so much?

A chance to info dump about my favorite fish…?!

I grew up in the Great Lakes area of North America, where fishing is pretty popular but everyone knows that fish populations aren’t anything like “the good old days” when people took out huge numbers of fish while messing up their spawning sites. I got pretty into fishing when I found out that I could catch bluegill in the surrounding farm ponds, and once in a while my family took me to an isolated fishing cabin for vacation, but for years I never encountered a wild fish bigger than a kilogram or two.

BUT THEN…

I found out about sturgeon! They were HUGE fish that had once lived in the rivers and lakes all around my home, and better yet, fish almost exactly like modern sturgeon had existed all the way back in the Cretaceous period alongside the dinosaurs, and they STILL EXIST TODAY!!! The fact that small numbers of these huge dinosaur fish still existed made them seem almost like a real-life lake monster/cryptid, except that we had proof of their existence!

Furthermore, there’s just nothing else like them. Sturgeon get big. Like, REALLY big. The record for the largest sturgeon was almost 11 meters/24 feet long, which is colossal for freshwater animals. They have armor plates of bone running down their sides, and at the same time they don’t have bony skeletons. They also have a crazy mouth structure, which allows them to actually pop their jaws out like a tube and suck up food. And on top of all of this, the adults are absolute tanks. I’ve seen skin nearly 8mm thick, and it’s so tough that people make leather out of it, and they occasionally lose fins or even entire gill plates and just keep on swimming! (I found out about that last one when I tried to wrestle a big female out of a river and my hand went straight into her gills. She didn’t seem that bothered by it!)

For a long time I filed sturgeon along with Alligator Gar, Giant Mekong catfish, and Yangtze paddlefish as a semi-legendary fish that may still exist, but I was never going to see except possibly in an aquarium, until I enrolled in graduate school. For those unfamiliar with grad school in the US, it typically involves both high-level classes as well as an independent research project the student designs and carries out with help from an experienced professor. When my mentor asked what kind of thing I wanted to study, I tossed out “sturgeon” as one such possibility, expecting to hear that I would probably have to limit myself to more common/accessible species.

I was blown away when she said “Actually, I think I know a guy…”

For the next several years, I got to ride along collecting wild adult sturgeon, gathering eggs, and raising the baby fish in a lab and in a hatchery. I was holding something that I had thought of as a semi-mythical lake/river monster in my own hands! I got to see a river choked with giants as big as 2 meters long, and I got to hold a 5-centimeters mottled baby whose armored scutes were still sharp and possessed the little arrowhead shape and big black pectoral fins that remind me of Mickey Mouse ears! In the video below you can even see a little heartbeat! (Don’t worry, this little guy was returned to the tank soon after to recover from his anesthesia!)

Sadly, I didn’t find anything super groundbreaking in my research, but my experience DID land me a job working in sturgeon aquaculture! If you’ve ever had caviar that wasn’t poached, it probably came from a sturgeon farm, and if you want to see a lot of big fish up close, this is a good place to do it! I probably personally handled more individual sturgeon than there are wild fish in several sturgeon species. In addition, while the wild broodstock I mentioned above might reach 2 meters and over 50kg, the sturgeon I dealt with at the farm would easily double that, and there were a LOT of them! I got to see sturgeon behavior that had never been recorded in field guides, and even a few crazy one-in-a-million mutations like the infamous “ghost” sturgeon!

I even got the opportunity to cook my own sturgeon meat (Yeah, I basically turned into the Touden siblings from Dungeon Meshi except for sturgeon instead of RPG monsters). I got pretty good at making smoked sturgeon, but the meat is also good on the grill or baked, and people have been cooking them in various ways for centuries.

My favorite part of the job was physically wrestling the big fish! Sturgeon are easier to grab than other fish with the right know-how, but a human-sized fish often has its own plans for the day and won’t always cooperate. I was pretty good at moving the adults by the time I left that job, but it was still a wild rodeo every time!

Even more exciting was how we spawned each new generation of sturgeon. In the wild, they form massive spawning runs in big rivers that in the past would be enough to tip small boats, but in a lab or farm we have to use other means. I’ll spare you the details, but I am one of a small number of people who have surgically extracted eggs from a live sturgeon and sutured them back up to swim another day.

The tldr of this essay is that sturgeon are a big, crazy-unique fish that have been around a long time, and I’ve spent a lot of my career handling and working with them. There’s just nothing like them for a fish nerd and they’re damn cool!

(Clip art not mine, I think @sturgeonposting drew or shared it!)

[deltaengineering]

Winter Anime 2024: Payday

Metallic Rouge

Metallic Rouge hasn't ended yet, but I am quite certain that at this point it's unsalvageable. I can give it one thing: it's going for a specific ~vibe~, and nails it. Why anyone would want to evoke the ~vibe~ of "deservedly forgotten 2000s sci-fi seasonal" is beyond me (I won't provide an example, because if I could remember it it wasn't forgettable enough), but there you go. Truly, Bones have outdone themselves with this celebration of their 25 year legacy.

It's hard to even start, but the one thing everyone is certain about is as good as any: The plotting and structure of this show is a complete mess. Some consider this "ambitious", but I don't think an ambition of "let's throw in every half baked thing we can think of and try to glue it together with proper nouns" is worth celebrating. We've got insipid and illogical worldbuilding that ultimately goes nowhere, brave political statements on the level of "slavery sure is bad but don't be rude about it", metaphor bombshells like a character who schemes behind the scenes and styles themselves the "puppetmaster" and constant plot twists that explain things long after I've given up on even trying to make sense of anything. That's where the ~vibe~ comes from: everything that has ever vaguely annoyed you in a mid anime is somehow in this one all at once.

This wouldn't be so bad if it had characters that are entertaining on their own, but here we meet the most bizarre creative decision: the one thing it has going for it is the Diet Dirty Pair banter between Rouge and Naomi, which elevates a few episodes to "decent", but of course they spend half the show seperated. And by themselves, Rouge likes chocolate and is as dumb as a brick with charisma to match, while Naomi is sassy and mysterious and that's it. The rest of the characters (and naturally, there are far too many of them) are either irritating or at best just bland.

So if this is Bones pulling out all the stops, at least you should expect the production values to be high, but even that is a mixed bag. Metallic Rouge looks quite mediocre for the most part until it's time for a dedicated Sakuga Cut™, which might be a fight or alternatively just a random one of the dozens of boring hallway conversations (that Crunchyroll of all things is treating this as a joke really says it all). And even the fights aren't all that great, because this show somehow manages to have bad sound mixing and music beds that I'd call interesting in theory but don't work well as a score. At least it has a stellar OP, but even that seemed a lot better before the show actually came out.

I might bump up the score a point if it ends exceptionally well (which it won't), but even in that case... it's still bad. Please go back to sourcing your deep plots from Weekly Shounen Jump, Bones. ~3/10

Bucchigiri...

Bucchigiri..., on the other hand, has the exact opposite problem: While Metallic Rouge is a convoluted tangle of inconsequential plot, this show is just happy to phone it in. It almost feels like a rerun of fall 2021, where Metallic Rouge is the new Fena and Bucchigiri... is the new Takt:Op. It leaves an agreeable first impression, with a bold, colorful look, unusual setting, expressive direction and kinetic animation – but everything not entirely superficial is an excuse, and a "dog ate my homework" level of excuse at that. If all you want is bromantic burly brettyboys going through the motions, get your fanfic pen ready, but don't expect the show itself to provide significantly more than character designs. It doesn't help that the main character is particularly bad, with his gimmick being "annoying disinterested horndog". These non-characters keep going in circles slapping each other's asses and being not very funny for two thirds of the show, until a very generic "sensitive best friend is tempted by evil" drama plot appears because even yaoi shippers realize that eventually something has to happen, which boils down to Matakara going around slapping everyone's asses again, but now it's supposed to be sad. And then that doesn't work at all, because for character drama you need characters. Who knew.

Of course the funny bit is that this is pretty much what I asked for. I gave SKOO shit for only being good at the wacky parts while the heartfelt drama and more fleshed out characters fell flat. Well, now the director's followup work is just the wacky bits and feels completely hollow for it, and then the exaggerated drama lacks anything to back it up. Maybe just do better, I suppose. Oh yeah, and this also hasn't ended yet but with how completely predictable it is I feel like I've already seen the final episode. ~4/10

Undead Unluck

You can take the Shounen out of the Jump but you can't take the Jump out of the Shounen. I don't usually touch the Weekly Shounen Jump brand for good reasons, but Undead Unluck definitely had one of the strongest first impressions for one in a long time, if only because it has leads that aren't Goku and Vegeta again. But it also had a flashy, devil-may-care attitude with absurd nonsense happening left and right, a bonkers setting that is actually interesting in its own right and production value to back it up. In short, it was Fire Force with arguably better characters. When it's firing on all cylinders, Undead Unluck is a very fun time.

The problem is that Undead Unluck is firing on all cylinders about as often as a Cadillac V8-6-4 with a flaky ignition distributor. Primarily it has a massive padding problem: The amount of recapping and flashbacks to things that just happened is patently ridiculous and I say that as someone who has watched two seasons of My Hero Academia. If you include things like OP and ED, I feel like calling roughly a third of this show's runtime literally repeated content is not a wild exaggeration. And that's only literally repeated content – since this is Weekly Shounen Jump, there is also a lot of restating of facts and tedious explanations. I can't even blame this just on Jump Editorial, because a lot of the time it seems to be in service of hitting the right cliffhangers – but if both source and adaptation have severe pacing issues, it all compounds to the worst pacing in any show I've seen a considerable amount of.

And then, even in the coinflip of time when it's actually doing anything, it's obviously not always at its best either. This is honestly acceptable from a show that goes wild – with these you have to take the bad with the good. I didn't care much for the lazily metafictional final arc for example, but it would be perfectly fine if it didn't (quite expectedly at this point) do its core statement twice in as many episodes in a row, only with more screaming the second time. It's good when it's good, sure, but it would have to be outstandingly brilliant to make the whole thing worth it – which it isn't, so it's not. 5/10

Mahou Shoujo ni Akogarete (Gushing over Magical Girls)

My standard line regarding any extra spicy fanservice anime show has always been "you know you can find real porn on the internet easily, right". Gushing over Magical Girls (which is, aint gonna lie, a genius title translation) is a pretty good example why: Even though it is pretty damn explicit, it still isn't on the level of actual porn, and then the extended moaning and wriggling sequences just take up so much of the time that it gets tedious pretty fast. And a lot of the "other" content of the show is just blatantly an excuse to make the porn happen. There's some edgy comedy too, but I think characters like Kiwi are more annoying than anything, so that didn't do much for me either. Then the middle section of the show is an excursion where our protagonist villains go sex up a couple of more villainous villains, which feels like it's missing the point even by its own standards. Also, be aware that with hentai content come hentai production values, and this one is definitely below average. None of this is particularly unusual.

However, I kept watching this one, and the reason is pretty simple: I don't actually object to spiciness in principle, and in the beginning the show did a pretty good job of portraying Utena's awakening to a bunch of fetishes. That she then started an awkward on-and-off anonymous BDSM relationship with an actual magical girl was even better. I honestly have to say that this is a brilliant concept, even if it wasn't executed to a level where I was certain it was intentional. Also, while it's arguably the "main plot", it's a fairly small part of the show and when it didn't show up much in the middle I was sure the show had lost me. I do have to admit though that against all odds, Gushing does stick the landing, with a final episode that really pays off that plotline in the best way you could reasonably (see above) expect. It's a bit of a rough ride, but this show delivers.

So I'm two minds about Gushing over Magical Girls. If you just consider it a hentai OVA that somehow escaped to television (which is not an unreasonable standpoint), it feels surprisingly ambitious and well thought out. But as a regular TV show, it just has too many weaknesses to ignore. Still, even though I can't call it good, I still think it's a more interesting curio than the score might make it sound. 5/10

Hime-sama "Goumon" no Jikan desu ('Tis Time For "Torture", Princess)

Oh no, this has "torture" in the title, what could it mean? Yeah, I think at this point everyone knows that it's a joke (one might even say... The Joke) and let's leave it at that. It feels like every season there's some fluffy and cute comedy that I quite enjoy for no profound reason. The Alleged Torture here simply doesn't do anything wrong, manages to find just about enough angles to its one joke to not get boring, and features nice designs and enough production value to deliver a smooth ride all the way to the end. It occasionally does something beyond its one joke, and that tends to turn out cute and chill as well, like Tortura's modest OL home life. Really the only thing I don't like about this is the manzai reaction antics of the sword – explaining the joke is always questionable, but it's especially so when there is exactly one punchline that never changes. In any case, this one is hardly essential and there are many others like it, but sometimes you just want something sweet and inoffensive that still puts the effort in. And this is definitely one of those. 6/10

Kusuriya no Hitorigoto (Apothecary Diaries)

I feel like I should like this show a lot more than I actually do. This is because it is made of great ingredients: Very nice looks, a setting with tons of potential, mostly interesting characters and in particular an amazing main character. Maomao is just great, she has tons of personality and a funny oddball charm that is tempered by a smart and stoic attitude. The beginning of the show, where Maomao plays the streetwise intruder into the stilted world of court intrigue and manages to cut through the bullshit like nobody else could, is pretty excellent.

However, as the show went on, it became clear that I just don't agree with the direction the plot takes. Of course it turns out that Maomao is actually deeply involved into the court drama in half a dozen ways (without ever telling the audience about it, which smells of retcon). Of course the focus shifts to other characters like Jinshi or later on Lakan, who are far less interesting. Of course there is a romance with Jinshi on the horizon. I don't want to be that guy that is mad that a show doesn't turn out to be what they had wished it to be, but it's still a letdown.

And that's not mentioning that the daily business of the show, various levels of detective work, is hardly solid gold either. It's just bad at mystery writing – most "cases" turn out to be massively contrived and then Maomao walks in and just guesses the solution out of nowhere. The large-scale mystery (who is Jinshi, really?) is not much of a mystery at all but Maomao can't figure it out because apparently she has to solve these complicated and tiny problems before she can realize the simple and obvious large one. And then there's the drama, which is effective enough in the moment but seems to be mostly built on a foundation of allegedly smart people acting much more stupid than they should.

So overall, I think this is still a good show simply because Maomao is fun to watch no matter what, but I just don't think the writing can quite hold up its part of the bargain, and that is kind of a bummer. 7/10

Yuuki Bakuhatsu Bang Bravern

Bang Bravern arrived with a simple, but quite amusing thesis statement: What if you had a tacticool, Armored Core-like mecha setting but then everything changed when a super robot show invaded. That's pretty funny. It also just so happens that Masami Oobari knows that the likes of Top Gun tend to have a certain undertone, and also made Bang Bravern explicitly homoerotic. That's even funnier. Add to this the fact that the epic super robot action genre is inherently hilariously over the top, and you have the makings of a very amusing show. Now, I could just leave it at that, because that's what Bravern is. An over the top and self-aware love letter to the super robot shows of old, with a couple of additional comedic angles.

In other words, it's like all super robot shows that have been made in the last two decades. Yeah, Bravern is undeniably quite entertaining, but I also don't think it's anywhere as unique as people seem to think it is. The "super in a world of reals" joke in particular doesn't really come into play that often, apart from when that side of the show keeps introducing dozens of characters that then proceed to not do anything apart from standing on the sidelines. The gay love affair does matter more often, but seems to run into diminishing returns because once you've done "come inside me" (which it does in like episode 3), you really have nowhere to go. And besides those two, well... it's charmingly exuberant and features all the goofy tropes, but it lacks the absurd hugeness of a TTGL or the meaningful subtext of a Gridman – and that's only shows that I have actually seen as a non-fan of the genre. I suppose fans will gladly take it anyway, because the genre is somewhat rare nowadays, but Bravern doesn't exactly blow me away. Still, you can't deny the fun. 7/10

Sousou no Frieren (Frieren: Beyond Journey's End)

So here we come to the big dog. The show that's pulling Doraemon numbers on Japanese TV, has been riding a comfortable #1 spot on MAL for months, and has inspired an unfathomable amount of porn. And the real surprising thing is that it's the first show in a very long time that I think comes even close to deserving that level of hype, especially early in its run when it absolutely isn't the kind of show you'd expect to do this – apart from the production values being about as good as TV anime gets, naturally.

Frieren starts out as an uniquely focused narrative that explores as many angles as it can out of a complicated mess of legacy, memory and regret through the lens of a pretty simple and generic RPG trope. It achieves this almost entirely through one of the best casts I've seen in a long time – Frieren may not be quite as charming a protagonist as Maomao, but she has much more depth and more importantly, every character that matters in her show is almost as good, and their relationships are even better. In its first-cours adventure mode, when we're just wandering around having more or less episodic encounters and plot points that drift in and out of focus with a wistful tone but splashes of goofy comedy, Frieren is quite excellent and would have been my show of last year if I had considered it eligible.

But then it slams in a new gear with the elegance of a tractor driver who thinks clutches are for pussies. Suddenly we're doing a proper Shounen Exam Arc and we're getting a lot less of this and a lot more of this. Now to be fair, this is a long running manga and it probably could not have kept doing flashbacks to Frieren being too dense to realize that Himmel was hitting on her 80 years ago forever. But still, the mage examination arc just really isn't Frieren at its best. It's not even that the content is particularly bad (maybe apart from the really quite rough beginning), and I do understand the long-term benefits of introducing a bigger cast of characters for future use, especially when they turn out to be quite good eventually... but it all just takes way too long. There's still great moments here, but that's usually a small segment of the established good stuff or, failing that, Frieren dropping a sick ass spell. Yeah, I won't even blame this on the action, because said action is incredibly well done and still quite brief, but you really didn't need a full season of theorycrafting and skill discussions to get those explosions. In short. Frieren temporarily turns into Full Metal Alchemist with better leads, and while this would be high praise for almost any shounen manga, it isn't for the one that has demonstrated it can do far better.

There is one real upside to this distraction arc though: Unlike, say, the plot problems of Apothecary Diaries that are here to stay, none of this irreversible, which Frieren immediately makes clear by snapping back to its best behaviour the second they leave the designated raid zones. The ending is as good as any part of the show, with the skillful writing and great tone we have come to wish for. Frieren may not be as consistently excellent as it first appeared, but it is still pretty damn good – and not on a purely superficial level either, because it obviously can have outstanding writing when it wants to and the fundamentals are rock solid too. 8/10

Yubisaki to Renren (A Sign of Affection)

And the top spot of the season goes to... a show that may not be the most ambitious, but does absolutely nothing wrong. Yubisaki to Renren is a fluffy romance where a very cute girl meets a very nice boy, and then no drama happens because not everyone in the world is a fucking idiot. I think my delight with this says more about the absolute state of romance anime than it does about the show itself, but I also have to say that while the plot of this show might be simplistic, it takes great care to set everything up in such a way to get away with said simplistic plot.

Obviously the core of the setup is that Yuki is deaf. But, quite smartly, the author doesn't make the story about Yuki's problems with not being able to hear, but rather about how her world is just... limited. And Itsuomi is a dude with an uncommonly wide worldview and experience. Opposites attract, and there you go. The show basically gets all the grounding it needs from that simple setup for free, then throws in a bit of complicated history among the larger cast. Then just make Yuki incredbly cute and Itsuomi an uncommonly levelheaded adult who will take measures to prevent any pointless drama before it gets out of hand, and you have a show that's just 100% a good time all the way through. So the leads (i.e., the thing that matters way above all else in a romance) are great, and the rest of the cast is more than fine too, even those who would instigate such drama – it can't get annoying, because they never succeed.

Really if I had to say something negative about this show it would be that it's still superficial compared to a show at its skill level that does go hard. I mean, it's about two nice people falling in love and nothing goes wrong, which isn't exactly a lot. There is maybe also the idea that Itsuomi may be a bit too perfect, but I'm just more than happy to see a male lead in a shoujo romance that is neither an abusive jerk nor a bland cardboard cutout. In a perfect world, something like Yubisaki to Renren should feel a bit bland and generic, but in the real one, there just isn't much like it. 9/10

[brighterdaysarebeforeus]

This went…slightly off the rails, I think. I really only wanted to put a quick reference to the whole Mumbatten scene and ended up…rewriting it. Again. (>.<) god, that’s embarrassing. Anyway, enjoy!

Part 1 here

The whole ‘canon events must happen to all Spiders’ debacle that Miguel set off lasted a lot longer than Miles was expecting. Time stretched differently across the multiverse, which he hadn’t known or been expecting,and which had thrown him off of his semi-regular cycle. All this to say that when he finally went back home, it was the nearly four months from his initial leave date (the day of the block party and his dad’s promotion), he was still battered and bruised from several different fights (starting with O’Hara and, ironically, ending with O’Hara), he still actually had to fight the Spot (who had landed back in regular 1610 New York approximately two minutes before Miles did, that was kinda lucky, right?), and the cherry to top it all off, he’d missed his rut and could already feel it —

Wait, wait wait wait. Wait. Let’s back up.

So Gwen finally found a way to visit, and showed up the day before his dad’s official promotion. They hung out for a bit, and then Miles realized that she’d had an ulterior motive for coming to his dimension. Which, weirdly enough, had to do more with the Spot than him. When she pulled up communication with an unfamiliar woman who’d sent her to a different dimension to catch the Spot, Miles made a split second decision to go after her.

Finding himself in Mumbatten was…an experience. He thought that having different dimension Spiders in his New York would be as different as things could get, but he was…very wrong.

Mumbatten was loud. Yes, New York could also get loud, but not this way. There were people everywhere talking in Indian. Scooters with more people on them than they were designed to hold, Indian music playing nearly everywhere. Traffic was similar enough, surprisingly, but there were more clotheslines than Miles had been expecting, and the buildings were shaped differently. It was an entirely different sort of beauty than Miles knew from his own New York, but it was still breathtakingly beautiful, and the Spider who protected it was no different.

Pavitr was bright and funny, and Miles liked him almost instantly. He didn’t particularly care for how fast he clocked his crush on Gwen, and Gwen clearly hadn’t expected the younger Spider to point it out so blatantly. Still, Miles was down for helping Pavitr as much as he could, considering how long the kid had been Spider Man for (seriously, six months and the kid got a watch?? Miles thought he’d been doing a great job at being Spider Man, he’d been doing it for over a year on his own, why couldn’t he get one?) and considering the Spot had initially come from his universe anyway.

Also, and Miles in no way ever wanted Pavitr to figure this out, his alpha instincts kicked in around him almost immediately. He wanted to protect this (apparently beta) Spider he barely knew, keep bad things from happening to him and his world. And, honestly, that meant following both him and Gwen to Mumbatten AlcheMax, despite his sporadic glitching, to help stop the Spot. He’d tried to show off, tried to display to Gwen and Pavitr a new trick he was working on, and though he’d just nearly had it working —

Omega pinged on his senses, and before Miles could even try to figure out what was going on, there was an additional Spider.

He was tall and thin, and Miles felt himself going haywire in the rush to protectprotectprotectprotect this brand new person he didn’t even know, this omega who quite literally came out of nowhere. He turned to Gwen instead, slightly indignant when she clearly knew this new Spider, and feeling his instincts to impress flare up when Pavitr thanked this new Spider for breaking the barrier he’d been trying to break. Not only that, but then! Then, this new Spider gave Miles advice on how to do better next time, and also implied that Gwen, an alpha, spent the night at his, the omega’s, place recently.

It was a lot. It was a lot for Miles, especially in the middle of a fight, and a fight with the Spot to boot. He tried to show off where he could, but it wasn’t working like he hoped it would. Because of Spot, of course, not because of anything else. Miles wasn’t even sure who he was trying to impress at this point; on the one hand, there was Gwen, who he’d had a crush on since she’d introduced herself as ‘Gwanda’ and he’d stuck his hand to her hair on accident (the way she’d physically snapped her compact mirror shut and later verbally snapped at him about her new haircut had made his blood boil in the best way).

And on the other hand…

Look, Miles had been focused on Gwen, kind of. Hung up on her, on one of the only other people his age he’d known who would understand the dangers and risks and rewards of being a Spider. He never really cared to make overtures at others in his universe, omega or otherwise. As far as he’d been concerned, Gwen had been the be-all, end-all.

But now Hobie. Hobie, with his spiked mask, his vest, with his pink outline every time Miles got close, with his guitar and his boots and that super enticing omega scent he kept catching whiffs of…Miles found himself trying to show off for him even as he tried to poke holes in the other Spider’s logic (“I don’t believe in teamwork!” “Aren’t you in a band?” “I don’t believe in consistency!”). He was failing, miserably.

And then when the Spot got away, and Mumbatten’s AlcheMax started falling apart. Pavitr looked to them, and so did a bright pink Hobie, and Miles automatically gave out the orders to get things done quickly to save the civilians. He’d felt a burst of pride that was quickly popped when Hobie agreed to do what he said even as he pointedly mentioned it wasn’t because Miles specifically wanted him to, and he and Pavitr worked to get civilians to safety as quickly as possible. In this, they worked together much more seamlessly than they had fighting the Spot, and by the time Hobie and Gwen had dropped the AlcheMax building, everything was almost peachy.

And then Pavitr had to save the bus, and couldn’t save the Inspector in time, and Miles saw his opportunity. He could help Pavitr, he could get noticed by the Spider Society Gwen was a part of and get himself an inter-dimensional watch to see Peni and Peter and Noir and Ham again, he could prove himself as a viable alpha to Hobie Gwen, prove himself to Gwen.

She tried to stop him, clearly worried about him, and he reassured her as best as he could before jumping into the fray after Pavitr. And he did it, he saved the Inspector, he saved the little girl, and though Gwen was the one who pulled the rubble off of the three of them, Miles found himself looking for Hobie in spite of himself.

He was still caught off guard when the Spider himself grabbed him from behind, shaking him and crowing praise in his ear like he couldn’t help himself. Miles felt warm all over, smiling up at his bright pink outline as best as he could even though it wasn’t clearly visible through the mask; though he’d stopped tensing up when Gwen appeared to be all right, Miles found himself relaxing even more now that Hobie was for sure ok. He’d barely even registered the people cheering for them all, the way that all four of them were waving back and Pavitr was almost bouncing on his feet. Hobie still had his arm around Miles, and though he wasn’t quite sure of what was proper or not, Miles found himself wanting to wrap himself around Hobie in return.

And, honestly? That was an entire can of worms he did not feel like opening. Ever.

[evilkennedy]

hesitant acquaintances

pairing: Leon Kennedy x Ethan Winters

word count: 1.1k

summary: Officer Kennedy is assigned to watch after an android, an EW700 model, household assistant, also known as Ethan.

warnings: none !

“Kennedy.” The call of his last name forced Leon to sit up a bit straighter, the familiar timbre of his boss’s voice kicking his ass into gear first thing in the morning. He couldn’t help but frown, he hadn’t even had the chance to finish his coffee yet, but it shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Still, he knew better than to grumble, but he didn’t turn in the man’s direction as he responded.

“Yes, sir? Got an assignment for me?” His voice was anything but enthusiastic, rather gruff and annoyed in nature, though it had been like that naturally for years now, no longer the bright eyed, bushy tailed rookie he’d once been.

Two sets of footsteps approached his desk, making his eyebrows furrow in interest as he turned around in his chair, eyes moving between his Captain and an… android. What the fuck? Before he could even speak, his Captain cut him off, raising a hand almost as though he’d anticipated Leon’s complaints. “Don’t start, I already know you’re not gonna like this, but you do not have a choice, understand?” Beside him, the android blinked, large brown eyes uncanny and lifelike but disconcerting nonetheless. As hesitant as Leon was, he couldn’t help but notice it almost looked like a puppy, features sad but eager, almost as though it had been waiting for further instruction.

“Why me, can’t Hunnigan babysit your android?” He damn near whined, hating every second of this. Throwing one of his closest friends under the bus was certainly low, but he really did not want to deal with someone following him all day. He wasn’t the trainer, he was barely still an officer in his own right with the shit he’d pulled– Maybe this was his punishment.

“Ethan isn’t my android. It isn’t the precinct’s android either, it’s assigned specifically to you until further notice. EW700’s, designed for home assistance, have been shown to be the most likely to deviate and since you are our lead on deviancy cases…” He trailed off, allowing Leon to connect the dots, even if he really didn’t want to.

“So you’re rewarding me by making me a babysitter, got it.” He scoffed, sinking further down into his seat as he sulked outwardly. The Captain patted his shoulder in faux sympathy. “It’s more important than you think.” The man turned his attention to Ethan, muttering good luck before making his way back toward his office, leaving the pair alone.

Leon didn’t look in the other’s direction, but he could feel him hovering, hands interlocked behind his back as he waited, for what, the officer wasn’t sure. He sighed, running a hand across his exhausted features, before reluctantly turning his chair to face Ethan fully, taking in his appearance more thoroughly. He had to admit that he was certainly handsome, though the thought made him uncomfortable. He wasn’t human, he’d never be human and yet Leon couldn’t look at him like he was only a piece of equipment.

“Hello, as you have already been told, my name is Ethan. It is nice to meet you, Leon… Or would you prefer Officer Kennedy?” He tilted his head in question, pulling Leon out of his reverie. His voice wasn’t quite what he’d been expecting to hear, everything about him was made to be enticing, conducive to humanity and its mundanity, but he couldn’t help squinting at him distrustfully. The only androids he’d had experience with outside of those he interacted with briefly at stores or at the gym, had been deviants– androids that malfunction– that kill. Despite Ethan’s perceived innocence, Leon couldn’t bring himself to let his guard down, hackles raised like a guard dog.

“How would you know?” He snarked, not purposefully trying to be unkind, and yet it certainly came across that way. Ethan appeared taken aback, if only for a moment before schooling his features once again.

“I’m sorry?” He replied, confused by Leon’s response. While he could pinpoint the attitude in his tone, note that he must not take a liking to androids at all, he couldn’t quite put his finger on what exactly he was being asked to consider– to know.

“How would you know if it’s nice to meet me or not? Or are you programmed to be nice?” Leon crossed his arms indignantly, leaning back in his chair as he interrogated the poor android. For Ethan, it clicked, brown eyes shimmering in recognition as he put the pieces together. Leon was insecure.

“Do you know whether or not it is nice to meet someone immediately upon meeting them or do you say it in order to be polite?” He answered, pausing only for a moment to allow Leon to consider what he was saying before speaking again, “It is the same for me. I cannot know whether it was actually nice to meet you or not until I get to know you further, will you allow me to do so?” His intonation didn’t entirely lack warmth, but it could be seen as flat, though apparently he said the right thing as Leon nodded, small smile worming its way onto his face.

“I guess I have to, don’t I?” He teased, smirking at the android as he blinked blankly, eyebrows furrowed in interest. Leon would be an interesting man to learn. Before he could respond, the officer was turning back to his desk, getting back into his files as he took a sip of his temporarily forgotten coffee.

A notification flashed briefly on Ethan’s HUD, software instability ^, he shook his head, almost as though he could shake it away. He didn’t know what that meant, but perhaps he could bring it up later.

After a few moments, the blond approached behind Leon’s chair, hovering over him as he worked on his files. He began to tidy up around him, unsure of what else to do within his programming without further instruction. Technically Leon was now his owner whether the brunette liked it or not. He only stopped him as Ethan grabbed at his near empty mug.

“What are you doing?” He ground out, moving to take his coffee cup back from Ethan, who did not allow him to.

“I am making you another cup of coffee. I assume you take it black?” Leon’s shoulders relaxed, another sigh escaping him, though he was grateful for the offer.

“Actually, two spoonfuls of sugar, please. Still black.” Ethan nodded, turning to head off into the direction of the breakroom, but before he could get too far away, Leon called out to him.

“Ethan?” He stopped in his tracks, turning to look at the other again. “Yes, Officer Kennedy?” Leon cringed inwardly at the formality, but spoke again, “Thank you. And you can call me Leon.”

For some reason, this provoked a small smile from Ethan. He nodded, changing Leon’s identification in his HUD. “Okay.” He breathed, “You are welcome, Leon.” He gave one last curt nod of his head before walking away, the notification from earlier flashing in his field of vision once again, software instability ^.

a/n: this is much shorter than I would have liked it to be, but there will be more to come. 😁

[keegansakura]

A bit of context for the followers who don't interact with me on the constant: for a couple of years now I have been working with @umbraproductions112 on a project in a game known as Rec Room related to the Backrooms. If you're interested the game is an ongoing WIP and is known as The Backrooms: Silent Screams. This sort of.. series(?) takes place in the world of the game. It may not follow all of the same characters but you may recognize a few if you play the game and read this.

Unfortunately now I gotta bring up this lovely word..

DISCLAIMER: The Backrooms Silent Screams uses custom takes on entities and features entities that you will not find on any Backrooms related wiki, fandom or otherwise. This story will feature uncomfortable topics that will be mentioned in the trigger warnings section at the top of each bit. Please keep in mind that you the reader are responsible for the content you consume. If I do something stupid please call my ass out on it so it can be fixed-

Also. I suck at editing. So formatting may be a bit wonky! ..it'll get better over time- ..I think. Final words before I get into the actual opening into this: if you want to be added to the tags, leave a comment and I will try to remember to tag you in this.

So enough stalling. Enjoy and I apologize for any editing mistakes as currently I AM POSTING THESE FROM MY PHONE!

Rumors speak of a train of some sort that can be found through some abandoned tunnels at off hours of the night. Some claim that moths or other nightly creatures had led them to it, others just felt compelled to follow a mostly overgrown trail. Either way you find yourself here at the train which has come to a stop. It looked like something from an old film, the kind of train you'd expect a murder mystery to take place on, or at least that seems to be the point. As you stand there, you notice a strange goat-like creature boarding the train carrying a box of ..something. Being further curious, you follow their lead and board the train.

The interior of the train car in question was Victorian in design. It was quiet, except for the hum of the engine andsome quiet music in the background. There was talking from further in, most likely the next car over. There were shelves lined with books along with various canvases, paints, and other art supplies. A table with a half finished game of chess and some chairs sat near the window. Judging by the dust covering the board and chess pieces, it had been left untouched for quite some time. A couch sat across from the table, and a mess of blankets and cushions like someone had sat there recently to read. There was a small bar of sorts not far from the couch, on it sat three drinks that seemed to have been placed there recently. Whoever was there seemed to be expecting guests.

As you approach the door, you catch part of the conversation. Two people, one sounding a bit more rough than the other, yet still managing to sound polite.

“It's not much..” said the first voice. “But I figured you'd like to go over some of this. ..maybe even transcribe some of the audio recordings.. I know you've been itching for a new project of late.”

They sounded almost excited to be sharing this.

“You know me too well, Karma.” came the second voice, which was softer than the first and sounded amused. “It'll take me some time to get through this- oh? And there's artwork too.. interesting work- but I'll be more than happy to do so. Consider this an exception to how I handle wanderer tales.”

The sound of footsteps was approaching the door just as you reached it.

“Thanks! Just keep me posted if you find anything noteworthy!-” answered the first voice as they opened the door. You are met with the strange goat-like creature who got on initially. They had dappled gray what you assumed to be skin, with black hair with bright green tips and even brighter green eyes to match as they stared utterly confused by your presence. The shirt and jacket combination they were wearing was not in good shape, part of the sleeve had a piece torn and the shirt clearly had seen better days. The worn shirt revealed nasty scars across the creature's chest. The only thing of note about the jacket were two very worn red stripes on the sleeves, one of which had writing on it that read: “Outpost 36”. Not even the jeans were spared; it honestly looked like they got into a fight or two on the way to the train. Behind them though stood a slightly taller figure that looked like some sort of moth-like fae, dressed almost like some sort of magician with an umbrella hooked over one arm. “uh- hey Sakurai...you expecting anyone else?” said the goat looking confused. The moth nodded. “I could use the company as I look through these.” they said, smiling as they motioned you inside the next car. “Come on! Let's look at this together and see what stories we can uncover.”

[thatonecrookedsmile]

It's been a little over a month since I read FTB and I wanted to do (and say, I think) a few things related to it. So here, take this. FTB stuff I was wanting to share.

Including some drawings/my designs for some characters (the ones above), some separate sketches, and giving some long thoughts on the book. (This post is looong so I'm going to put everything under the curtain. Enjoy!)

Starting: Rose, Evan and Archie. They are the ones that, I admit, are what I wanted to draw/design most while/after I read the book. Now, at least, if I want to make something involving one of these three one day, I have designs ready to go! Hooray! Evan is the only one of the three that I actually had to design from scratch. With Rose I had made a sketch 1 year ago conceptualizing the idea for her design, and it was only recently that I came back to this idea to finally solidify it. And I had already done Archie's design last year while I was doing my designs for the human cast of BATDR, so I was already prepared without even knowing it.

Also,Ink!Archie!! The poor guy got screwed pretty badly. First two designs in the first image are based on the events in the book. The one on the left is him seen mostly in the book (alive) and the one on the right is when he is in the Ink Realm, post-death. The design in the second image was supposed to be a stylization/variation of his Cycle design. I tried drawing him with a visible mouth/teeth similar to what I did with Sammy in a recent drawing and in some sketches that I didn't post here. I'm not sure about the beard tho. I think I exaggerated it. Next time, remember to draw less beard in this design. (And maybe, for the design that is more "close to canon", don't draw the ends of the hair and beard in the Cycle design)

Any other character in the book, either I don't have a design and I don't plan on making a design for them now, or I do but it will take a while to show them. (I promise I'll show Dot one day)

I also have some additional sketches. So if you want to take a look at that too, here it is:

Ollie Sorenson. This wasn't quite the way I had imagined him when I was reading the book but 1. the hair I tried to draw for him before didn't work out well, so I went another route and 2. Ollie isn't particularly a character in this book that I'm going to I think a lot in comparison to the others (he's still cool, tho) and I doubt I'll make another design for him, so let's go with this one. Not a bad design,so,eh.

Rose. Sketch on the left was made last year. I'm almost certain it was done after the book synopsis was revealed by Kress. The sketch on the right was made last month when I was reading the book. I took the idea from the sketch on the left and tried to solidify her design better.

Evan. Some other sketches made when I read the book. I had just completed his design and wanted to test it a little more to, you know, see if I can actually draw him. Verdict? I think I can.

And now uhhhhhh what I thought of the book! I previously considered doing a separate text post with these thoughts only but I don't do text-only posts in general and if I were to make a separate post it would take a while and it would come out more than 1 month/probably 2 months since I read the book and it would be kinda awkward. And I'm already writing this post, so why not put it all here now, right?

(Warning: My thoughts on the book ended up being MUCH LONGER THAN I EXPECTED TO WRITE. You don't need to read them if you want, they are just more additional and optional things. But if you are going to read them, be warned)

(Spoilers: I may have strayed a little off topic when I started talking about Archie. Don't mention how long his paragraph is, tho)

But yeah, Fade To Black. That was something else, I tell you (and I mean that in a positive way). Probably reading this book after all the fuss that happened about the books a while ago wasn't the best idea possible. But even with…all that in mind, I still wanted to read this for a long time, and I'm glad I went ahead with it. I had a lot of fun with the book! And thinking about it a little over a month after finishing it, I think I can say that this book is up there as, like, one of my favorites of the Bendy books that have been released to date. Before this, I would have considered DCTL my favorite of the books, so I'm somewhere between saying that both of these two are my favorite books in this series and that I like them equally, or that FTB has now become my favorite book of the series, surpassing DCTL. (Maybe I'll have a better idea of ​​this later this year when I reread these books once again)

I really liked the story told, its concept had already interested me since its synopsis was revealed last year - the setting in the 50's, the TV show, the whole 3D glasses thing - so it's no surprise that I was very interested in what this book had to tell. And since I already brought that up: I liked the new concepts it brings to the table,specifically,of course,the glasses and the TV. An idea that,I admit,at first is something I thought was a bit different (and dare i say unusual?) from what I usually see in the Bendy universe (although, it's not something so out of the ordinary from what we've seen before in the series) but I have to say that it's something that I thought was cool even so. 3D glasses that end up transporting your mind into the televised cartoons (and,by all accounts,the ink realm). The jokes I saw that Joey created virtual reality in this book weren't so far-fetched after all lol. But still, it's a concept that I admit to having been interested in, and that it might be cool to play around with in fanon stuff. I also considered this could open doors for other, more "wild" ideas to be explored in the books (as long as they still make sense for a >Bendy< book, of course). I also liked the whole segment taking place in the ink realm at the end of the book, and I hope that this can open up possibilities for future novel stories to take place there, either partially (as in this one) or in full (I accept an entire novel taking place in the cycle,ngl). The additional lore for the ink realm is a nice treat and adds more to what we have in the games. I admit that, at the same time, I feel a little thoughtful about a certain part of this additional lore that - assuming the way I understand it is right - leaves me wondering if this "extended origin" of the cycle coupled with what we already know of its lore would make sense in the games, and how these ideias would be acknowledged in future entries. But at the same time, I may be overthinking this, and the stars may still be aligned, and I've gotten the information wrong. Despite everything, I liked what was told about the ink realm in this book, I appreciate this "extended origin" at the end of the day.

I really liked the cast, both the new ones and the old faces. Rose is great, I really liked her as the protagonist. She's already one of my favorite book characters, I hope we hear from her again in the future. Also, it's good to have a protagonist in these books who survives in the end. Okay, sure, she didn't come out of it 100% unharmed, considering what the ending implies, but still. Again. It's good to have a protagonist in these books who came out of this alive at the end. Evan is also very good. Even though I want to slap him on the back of the head, I also hope to hear from him again, especially considering the way he "exited the story" (is that how you say it?). I talked about the possibility of a future novel taking place in the ink realm, I think that would give a good chance of bringing him back, now as an ink creature. I don't have much to say about Ollie, but I also thought he was cool. The scenes between him and Rose are very nice and the scenes related to the "Bendy Visions" caused by the glasses is another concept that I found very interesting (Tense moments, but cool ones nonetheless) Very happy to see Dot again. I like her character, and I always wanted to see what happened to her after the events of DCTL (TLO had already implied that she was still alive, but I wanted to know more, you know). Her participation in this book is very good, and a chapter that I have to highlight is the one where she meets Rose and they talk in the cafe. Their conversation alone is very good, but the specific part that got me was Dot talking about Buddy, what happened to her after the first book, and Buddy's family. That part was like. A slap in the heart, I'm not going to lie. This chapter made me sad, 10/10. Favorite chapter of the book.

Archie Carter was a big surprise (not really, I already knew he would be here before reading the book), and he is another of my favorite aspects of the book. It's good to see one of the characters from BATDR's human cast ending up being used more in a story. Archie in the game, like other characters we saw in the audio logs in DR, is a "One and done" situation where we only hear from him once and that's it, combined with the fact that he is ultimately just another background character who exists mostly to fill the world and give information that is not necessarily integral to the main things that occur in the game and is more to tell about different things, people and events that were also occurring inside the studio and in the outside world ( those of the lost city and Gent Workshop, essentially) pre-game events. (I really don't know how to explain this properly, but I would say that the "thing" of the information given by the new human cast (with the exception of the Archs) is the same thing as the characters who are giving such information: filling the world. I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying) And while I wouldn't say the information on these tapes is really irrelevant (in Archie's case, he provides some of the most interesting), and in my case, I don't mind the addition of the newbies, I don't blame other people for not being interested, don't get attached to or even dislike these new characters who don't do much in the grand scheme of things in DR and in comparison to the BATIM cast (or at least, the majority of the IM cast). So seeing at least 1 of these newcomers being used more deeply in a story and having their characters expanded is good! And I liked what was done with Archie here. You know the guy who worked at Gent as a test subject and who saw bad things happening at the company? Guess what! Same company screwed up his life and now he's a half-human-half-ink creature guy infected with evil ink and his current situation is not good at all! He's going through horrors unfortunately (especially in the cycle), but I really like what Adrienne did with Archie in this book. Again, he is one of the highlights of this book, and I hope that something similar ends up happening with other DR characters in future stories (manifesting the novel that uses Bill Danton and/or Grace Conway in some capacity 🙌) Plus, I also think it's cool that of all the DR characters to be used, it was the one voiced by SuperHorrorBro who ended up being chosen for this book (I like SHB, what can I say)

Joey (like in the other books) is a standout (and considering what we specifically see of him in this book, he's especially a standout here). More of Allison, even though in the end it's just a small one-scene cameo. Finally, I'm being fed the bread crumbs I craved. And I think now I have another version of Henry to talk about. My collection is growing strong, now I have 3 versions of my favorite old man! Among the new ones, and especially the secondary and tertiary ones, Papa D and Gladys are nice, even though they don't have much time in the story. Oh, and Wilson showed up too. He doesn't do much either, he's just there to be creepy. But I will acknowledge him.

I also enjoyed seeing some of the ideias showcased first in BATDR here (which makes sense, this book came out well after the game finally released). I always found it interesting to see more of Gent in the spotlight, and reading and knowing a little more about the things they were doing after JDS closed is nice. (And I think it's good to see more reaffirmation of what BATDR had already implied. That Gent also had eyes on the Ink Machine even when the studio was still open, and when the studio collapsed, they still continued the ink experiments in their own facilities. Again, this was already something that had been shown in DR, but it's good to see more reaffirmation here) The appearance of the Siverlane Express was something that I really appreciated, even if it was something very short. I ealready talk about Archie in one giant paragraph, and again, Wilson is here too.

There isn't really anything I "disliked" about this book, but at most, I only have a few nitpicks. The Ink Demon appears in the story, but compared to DCTL and TLO, I feel FTB is definitely the book where he appears the least. I mean, yeah, the story isn't about him in the end, but it's still something I managed to notice. I also feel that, in my opinion, this is the least "scary" of the 3. Not that it doesn't have "scary" elements but still, compared to moments in the other books like Buddy in the infirmary, or the TLO trio in the old factory, I don't know if this book would be the most "scary" of the trilogy. However,FTB still has several suspenseful scenes (the Bendy visions, some scenes with Ollie, Archie's pre-introduction, Wilson in the library), which I also like anyway. And I'll admit. While this idea isn't that far out there - and in the context of the story, it makes sense - I kind of raised an eyebrow a little at the whole "using your mind/imagination to get out of the ink realm" thing. It is not bad! And again, with what we saw in the book, this idea actually fits with what we had seen so far in the story. But I can't lie that when we got to this moment I was like "oh, this is something that happened, I guess", you know? But even so, I didn't dislike the idea.

(I once saw someone describe this part of the book as "they canonized no-clipping in Bendy" and you know what? I think that's funny. I think we need to start referring to this idea in the book as that instead of "using the imagination" /hj)

But even so, even with these small "nitpicks", I still had a lot of fun with this book. I really enjoyed reading it, and not only is it now one of my favorite Bendy books so far, I dare say it's one of my favorite things about the franchise in general. Like, if I had to make a top 3 of my favorite things from the Bendy series so far, I'd say it's this book and the first two mainline games. I guess this is to show how much I enjoyed the book!

And with that, my journey with the Bendy books ends. At least, with the books I managed to have access so far. I have no plans to pursue the updated version of the Employee Handbook so far, but from what I've heard and seen so far, I'm not missing anything too important. And the DCTL graphic novel….exists. It's definitely a graphic novel that exists. Dare I say that it is definitely one of the graphic novels of all time, alright. But what have I read so far? It was what I would say, a good journey. I've been interested in the Bendy books for a long time, and it's been a while since I read them, and I'm glad I did, despite recent events. Of course, they have their flaws and problems too, I have things about them that I myself identify as bumps in the road (and that applies to the novel trilogy too btw) But even with them in mind and acknowledging them, I still think that they are worth something. And I hope people still continue to recognize them and give them a chance. Even with its flaws, and with their whole canocity thing that happened a while ago, I still believe that people should check out the books eventually. Give it a chance, you know? If they did, and liked what they read, great! But if they don't like it, that's okay too! In the end, at least they, on both sides, gave it a chance. And that's what I at least want to see. I don't like the idea of ​​discarding these things and pretending they don't exist just because the devs said they aren't canon to the games (because, in my view, just because the books aren't canon doesn't make them without value or that you can't have fun with them after all)

WOW, this is getting long, I think I got carried away. I think that's all I had to say. To conclude everything, here is my list of the Bendy books that I like the most and the ones I like least:

Fade To Black (I've already talked a lot about this book)

Dreams Come To Life (hand in hand with FTB being in first place. It has its flaws, some that may have already been mentioned before, but I still found myself liking it in the end. For a first novel, it worked out fine)

Crack-Up Comics (Really liked the comics. It's good to see more things related to the cartoon characters, and I like some of the characters introduced. Pretty fun stuff)

The Lost Ones (it's not a very "Bendy" focused book compared to the others, and I don't blame those who didn't like this one because of the lack of many Bendy elements, but I confess that I still liked it as much as the other 2, and I loved the protagonists of this one. Even so, of the trilogy, it is the weakest book)

The Illusion of Living (In itself, it's an interesting read. It's really cool to see more of Joey from a deeper angle, and see more of his past. But I confess that it's not my favorite read, and I still prefer the main novels. Not bad, tho)

JDS Employee Handbook (2019) (For the first Bendy book overall, it's not bad, and I like the lore tidbits it has. But compared to the rest, it's actually the weakest)

The TL;DR is: Fade To Black is fun and my favorite, I liked its story and characters. I liked the books. Check them out if you want. If you liked them, cool. If you didn't like them, that's cool too. Read in general.

And if you've read this far: Thank you! And at the same time, I'm sorry! Have a good day/afternoon/night everyone. Peace.

[pocketramblr]

Hi! Five ask hame request! Have you ever read the Magisterium? Basically Callum Hunt's sad backstory, but transplanted onto Aizawa

For those who don't know what I'm talking about, simply put it would be an au where AFO got badly hurt and tried the soul hopping thing early (baby shouta being his unlucky vessel) but... did so very badly. Thus accidentally giving himself amnesia and basically becoming Aizawa

(I highly recommend the Magisterium btw, it actually handles this situation very interesting and it this existential crisis is introduced pretty early on for the character in question)

I have never read that but I have wiki crawled enough to understand the gist I think

1- All Might kills AfO a whopping 23 years early! You may ask how he managed this. The answer is pure rage and also a special gun David snuck to him in pieces in his costumes. The gun did not survive. Sadly, AfO barely did for a few minutes. Under the hospital he demanded Ujiko bring him a body- the doctor heard "baby" and grabbed the infant Shouta. AfO manages to transfer himself in but messes it up, and the quirks stay in his body. Ujiko puts the baby back to buy time to get AfO's original body in a tank to preserve it uh but then the baby gets taken home.

2- Ujiko and Gigantomachia spend years trying to find the kid, but figure that AfO will make himself known so they don't give up even when Gigantomachia is unable to sniff anything out.

3- Shouta grows up normally if you don't count the horrible nightmares that he never remembers but still affect his sleep. He really has no idea why his body is resistant to sleeping for any long bit of time until it's fully worn out and can't resist, and doctors can't help so he just kinda accepts it. He wants to be a hero. He goes to UA. He can't sleep. His classmates befriend him. He wants to be a hero. He can't sleep.

4- Garvey attacks. Here, Garvey is a little different, designed to be both a smokescreen and a flaregun, getting AfO's attention and getting quirks to him. It works better than Ujiko could have expected- when Aizawa looks on him to erase, he pulls a quirk in instead, and falls. Oboro catches him, but Garvey is attacking fully now, trying to mark and get his master's attention. Both boys are injured, more quirks are slipped into Aizawa, and he wakes up in the hospital with Ujiko leaning over him. He demands to know what he's doing and to get away from him, which Ujiko takes as AfO having a plan all along and having a reason to sneak into heroics unnoticed, so he backs off. Aizawa leaves the hospital. His insomnia has gotten worse, and he's starting to remember his dreams. They're confusing, and awful. Once, Oboro wakes him up when he fell asleep outside the gym, and he almost impales him with a spike that none of them know where it came from. Shouta tells him he's going back to the hospital to figure out what's going on, and Oboro insists on coming with and bringing the others. They plan to do it in two days. Then Shouta leaves to do it alone that night.

5- Ujiko happily lets Aizawa in and answers his questions, until he realizes that Aizawa genuinely doesn't know what's going on and has none of AfO's memories- or at least, has accessed none of them. Ujiko shows Aizawa AfO's body, then surprises him with an attack and a blindfold to keep from being aged out of existence. Aizawa is put in a sister tank, as Ujiko suspects the incomplete transfer of quirks is why the memories aren't present enough. So, he starts the transfer himself. However, he didn't count on anyone knowing where Shouta had gone, and before the transfer is complete, Oboro, Nemuri, and His Purple Majesty lead an attack to get Shouta free. He's out, and while the transfer was enough to unlock the memories and severely disorient Shouta, it did not put AfO fully in control of his body, so that'll be a task to manage, but Shouta can take a few months to recover aided by his friends before he worries about doing something like "go to Might Tower" to deal with it all.

[cherrylng]

Gerard Way solo interview - My Chemical Romance [INROCK (January 2011)]

Coming to Japan in February! Gerard’s solo interview.

“The time for being obsessed with theatrics and pyro has passed.”

Gerard Way/My Chemical Romance INTERVIEW: YUKO KATO PHOTOS BY KAORI SUZUKI

Musicians, painters… Artists of all kinds like to live in Silver Lake. Gerard designated Home, a folksy restaurant near his home, as the interview location. I really appreciated the fact that he gave up almost half a day of his time for INROCK in between his promo activities, which lasted from 9:30am to midnight. But when Gerard came in, he said, "Thank you for coming." He is now much slimmer than when he first came to Japan and, as expected, has vivid red hair. However, as it was just after a long European tour, the root 3 cm of his hair was showing the colour at the base. But, he said, "Inside, I've hardly changed at all."

You've just finished a UK tour. Fans have been waiting for 36 hours in front of the venue? Gerard Way (vo.) : Yes, they were in front of the venue all night. I mean, people have been waiting for us for four years now, for the album and for the shows. I think we kept them waiting for a UK stage for about two and a half years. So they waited outside, and the show was sold out, and it was just amazing.

“I used to be able to offer hot chocolate to the kids waiting in line, but that kind of thing is not possible these days.”

The Apollo (Victoria Theatre) can only hold 3500 people. Wouldn't a bigger venue have been better? Gerard: First and foremost, we wanted to start with a full house. I thought it would be better to start with a full house in a smaller place and come back again, rather than having a bigger space and leaving empty seats and never being able to come back. Anyway, we wanted to see the fans so much that we decided to do a tight, intimate show and come back.

But 36 hours! Gerard: 36 hours (laughs) in the rain, with the typical London weather.

Did you go and say hello to everyone waiting for you? Gerard: It was raining and I couldn't do it because I was doing promotional activities the whole time. I had to go to the radio station, appear on the show, and go back on stage, so it was a bit of a mad dash. When we used to travel around in a light van, I used to go and say "hello" to people, and even when we changed to a big van, we made hot chocolate and handed it out if we had a coffee maker or hot water heater. But that kind of thing is not possible these days.

I always thought My Chemical Romance fans in Japan were the hottest, but I'm not so sure anymore (laughs). Gerard: What do you think? (laughs happily).

The last time you did The Black Parade tour, it was in two parts, and in one part you played the album in order, and in the second part you played songs from the past, but this time you've completely mixed it up. What's the concept behind the tour like? Gerard: This time, we didn't want to be like "I have to do this" with the songs, like we have to play them in the order of the songs from the album "Danger Days" or we have to appear as characters from those songs, but we just want to do it as a band. So we mixed it up nicely, and thanks to James (Dewees, touring member/keys.), we added digital elements to previous songs like "The Ghost of You" and it's a very different and nice feeling. It's cool to do a lot of stuff, but I think we're past the point of using a lot of different theatrics and pyro and stuff. I'm going to get into lighting and use LEDs and things like that to make it futuristic if I can, but it's not going to stop being exciting.

Futuristic! Gerard: Yeah, or cinematic.

Cinematic. Sounds interesting! When I saw The Black Parade Tour, I was upstairs and far from the stage, but it was still hot thanks to the pyro. Gerard: Yeah, the sparks were flying all the way to the back row (laughs).

Did you play some songs from the new album on the European tour? Gerard: Yeah, we played about six or seven songs. Not all of them in one night, we just picked the ones we were in the mood for and of course we played "Na Na Na" too.

"Na Na Na" was the opening song of the show, wasn't it? Gerard: Yeah, then "Planetary (GO!)", "DESTROYA", "The Only Hope for Me Is You", "The Kids From Yesterday", so that makes about 5-6 songs.

Did you try out new songs in front of a real audience on the tour? Gerard: We didn't want to try them out, we just wanted to play them. We really love "Danger Days" so we just wanted to play the songs, and it's a really special album for us.

What was the reaction? Gerard: Every song was great. "Na Na Na" was a big hit, of course, and "The Only Hope" was a big hit when we played it for the first time, and "Planetary" was also very well received, even though it wasn't released to the media and people had never heard it before. We also played a new song, "The Kids From Yesterday", as an encore just because we wanted to, which we hadn't done before. We knew it wasn't good to play a song that people didn't know in the encore, but we said, "Why not, let's do what we want to do!"

People immediately liked it even when they heard it for the first time. Gerard: Exactly! With "The Black Parade", when we played it live before it was released, the reaction wasn't great. Of course people knew about the single, but that was it. This time, the atmosphere was similar to "Sweet Revenge", because the moment we played "I'm Not Okay" and "Helena", people went crazy.

But your European fans are so strong that they fell in love with your music and accepted it right away. Gerard: Yeah, so basically, it's an unnecessary worry, but you don't necessarily expect people to accept something new. It's more like we've got a very established fan base, so they'll either go along with the new stuff or they won't. We always put out something really different, and that's what people expect from us, but they don't usually respond that well to songs they haven't heard before. You can't get immediately excited about something that hasn't been released to the media right away. I've heard a lot of other bands play new songs and no one follows them.

“In my art studio I just stick things on the walls and draw. I do it by myself mostly.”

Is it true that Kerrang! magazine did five different covers for My Chemical Romance? Gerard: Yes, it's true. One for each band member in their video costumes and one for the band as a whole.

You're hoping that every fan will buy five copies of each! Gerard: (laughs) Well, yeah. I like to do whatever I can, and there aren't many bands that can do that. I think we put a lot of effort into the art and aesthetics and we did a great job. Actually, we asked them if they would like to do it, and we came up with the idea of ​​doing covers for each of us for "The Black Parade". We all have strong personalities and we knew that we could sell the magazine on our own. It's always worked out that way.

After the release of the album, you will start touring the USA, right? Gerard: Yes, that's right. We'll do a series of radio shows and then take a break for Christmas and then go to Japan, I think…? Then we'll tour Europe again in the New Year, and then the US.

What kind of show should we expect from this album? Is it going to be conceptual or something completely different? Gerard: I don't think it's conceptual. It depends on the size of the place and how you define "conceptual". But the venue in Tokyo was definitely huge, so come up with something exciting. We'll use videos and LEDs to give the audience a sense of our world, and this time it's all about colour, so we'll make a big production.

I read somewhere that this time you were in charge of the whole art direction of the album and the band? Gerard: Yes. I did a lot of direction for "The Black Parade". But this time it was more of a collaboration and we were able to do a lot of things. There were so many things to do, like the band's costumes, the guns, the cars, the bad guys, the company, the girls, and so on, so we made it a collaboration. We looked for people we could trust and worked on it as a collaboration. We set up an art department, a graphic design department, and an art studio, so it was a big undertaking, so there's a lot to see.

Who are your creative partners in the band? Gerard: Everyone. Everyone in the band is my creative partner, so I get advice, ideas and help when I'm stuck. We ask each other what our favourite colour is and we make a gun for each of us in that colour. For costumes, I ask, "What do you want to make?" and we sit down and sketch and think about it. My wife Lindsay (Mindless Self Indulgence, b.) is another creative partner, and I also get a lot of advice from comic book artist Grant Morrison.

You just mentioned that Lindsay is one of your creative partners, but does she also participate in the band's activities? Gerard: No, but she's my wife. She gives me advice as a friend, as a fellow artist, and as a wife, and I give her advice on her projects as well.

We've been shown pictures of your art studio, what do you do there? Gerard: I draw stuff, I stick stuff on the walls, I draw them and look at them, I come up with slogans for the whole thing, and so on. I do a lot of painting anyway, and then there are all sorts of masks and spray paint and things I'm making up and inspirational stuff lying around.

Do you work alone there? Gerard: Not all the time, but most of the time I'm alone, as it's the closest to my house. Some days I don't need to go to the music studio, I just go to the art studio while everyone else is working on music.

You have an art studio, but you don't have your own music studio? Gerard: No. Just my art studio.

That's interesting. Gerard: Right? Of course music is important to me, but I prefer to make music in a producer's studio. Even if I had a studio at home, I don't think I'd use it.

Translator's Note: When the journalist mentioned the Kerrang! special covers, I had no idea about its existence at all. But given that INROCK is generally reliable, I did a brief Google search and found proof of its existence. It was released some time around October 2010.

Please do support me with my Ko-fi! ☕

[flameleadsarc]

He trapped himself in his room most nights. No, he didn’t want to bother anyone with his restlessness, how the insomnia made his mind wander down the halls and straight out of Wonderland. It wasn’t fair. His body stayed trapped within these four walls while his mind… it got to be free. 

This room didn’t have many of his belongings in it. Why would it? Like his tent on the front lines, this room served a single purpose: to temporarily protect him from the elements until he received his next set of orders. Admittedly, the bed here was more comfortable, and he didn’t miss how the sand found its way into his blankets, socks, hair, or everything else in existence. He also did not feel the stinging cold at night nor the overbearing heat during the day. For better or worse, he was safe here. His body suffered nary a scratch since he arrived weeks ago.

“I’m almost surprised you’re not trying to know everything about this place.”

His mind, though…

“Then again, you were always mopey without me, Roy.”

He let out a sigh. This wasn’t real. Hughes, donned in the white cloak all of them wore in Ishval, wasn’t standing in his room. He wasn’t really there, and he didn’t have a bandage covering his cheek. The last time they saw each other, he was fine. Perfect. Why was he appearing to him like they were still in the desert? They weren’t. This was Wonderland, not Amestris. 

“You know why. C’mon, use that head of yours.”

Right. Another sigh left his lips, and Hughes shook his head as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. 

“Sigh all you want. That’s not gonna get me to leave. I’m just as stubborn as you, maybe more. Here’s an idea, though: you could try talking to me.”

“Why? You’re not here.” The words came out muttered as he let his hands rest on his lap. “Besides, you always talked enough for the both of us.”

“Because you let me. Look at it this way.” Hughes moved to sit down next to him on the bed, inches away from Roy as hazel eyes stared directly at him. “You can either talk to me, or you can keep thinking about how this world is like Ishval. All you need is the white cloak. You still have it back in Amestris, don’t you.”

“I do. And it was heavy.”

“You’re telling me. I know they designed it for the nights too, but they really expected us to wear it with the uniform every day?”

“I sure as hell didn’t.”

“Of course not. And like anyone was about to tell the Flame Alchemist to wear his uniform properly.”

“You would’ve.”

“Just to see what you’d do.”

Both of them started laughing. Small chuckles, nothing like the loud guffaws they let out when one or both of them had too much alcohol at Madame Christmas’s—usually on Roy’s dime because he could afford it. After all, he was the one with the larger salary. But, right now? After God knew how long without any humor between the two of them, the laughter was a welcome change. After a minute, Roy looked up again into those hazel eyes, and he let out another sigh.

“I wish you were here. You’d be figuring this world out better than me. Faster than me too.” 

“I was always faster than you.”

“No need to rub it in.” His smile faded as his eyes traveled to the floor. “I… I miss you.”

Don’t think about it. Don’t think about the call you missed. Don’t think about the phone booth. Don’t think about Elicia and Gracia. Don’t think about—

Too late.

“I miss you, Maes.”

Silence answered him back. As Roy brought his gaze back to his side, he saw nothing there. His right-hand man was nowhere to be found. In his typical insomniac state, he talked to a ghost instead of the real thing. The real thing hadn’t been here for months now. Almost a year. 

Roy closed his eyes as his hands covered his face. He never fell asleep. Why did he still have nightmares when he hadn’t even slept? At least if he had a nightmare, he would have a good reason for weeping. This? The streams pouring out of his eyes made no sense. Talking to ghosts made no sense.

The answer was simple: the nightmares never stopped.

[paperpasta]

A Wonwoo x Female OC Alternate Universe.

Chapter 1: Here You Are

It was Saturday morning. Sound of chickens clucking and birds tweeting was heard–a sign that you are back in your province, Ilocos Sur. As weird as others may find, those things make a place a home, at least for you.

As you post a story of your family's farm—a "tradition" you do every time you go back to your second home—your phone bursts with notifications as expected.

Two of your cousins, the other one from your mother's side and the other one from yourfather'sr side, were bombarding your group chat with messages. This is also why you love to surprise them instead of giving a heads-up that you will arrive at a certain date—reactions from them never fail to make you love even when it ends up with them bickering.

Maybe that, too, makes it home.

"Plaza at 4pm?

"All right." – Jarred

"We missed you." – Kassandra

"I missed you guys too."

Honestly, informing them of the time and place is useless—no questions asked, all three of you already know when one asked to meet unless an unexpected event occurs.

You sat in one of the many food stalls you three love. It's your top-most favorite, Aling Nena's Ilocos Empanada—another thing that makes this place a home for you.

And have I mentioned? It has been a while since you came back to this lovely town. Now, year 2023, although precautions are still done, things have been better after the lockdown for the COVID-19 pandemic.

With that, time passed by so fast that no one in three of you had noticed that it was almost 7 in the evening, after catching up and trying to fill in the times you've missed.

Other than your favorite Ilocos Empanada, your "food trip" was followed by Beef Mami, Siomai, Filipino Pancakes, Kwekkwek, Fishballs, Kikiam, and other street foods you couldn't name. As your last stop, as always, you made sure to visit Manang Alma's Milktea and Coffee Shop.

But before you could even order, as much as you want this day to be full of laughter and joy, maybe you couldn't avoid accidents at all. Or maybe, you're just clumsy as ever.

But, again, the moment you thought was bad was somehow a blessing—at least for you. Who could've thought that you would bump into the guy you've been looking forward to meeting? He was a friend of you, and as he confessed back then, he liked you. However, with the Milktea spill or mess you made, I guess his perception of you had changed. After all, it's been 5? 6 years? You couldn't count. All you can think of right now is cleaning the mess you made. And everything felt worse when he stopped you wiping the mess with a thin ply of tissue you know won't help.

Was he always this charming? You don't know.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Maybe you could send me your bank details? Contacts? GCash? Or wherever? I'll pay for the laundry or do you want a new pair of clothes? I'm really sorry." You said, without a pause, showing how much you were panicking at that time. I mean, he dressed simply but all of those were designers.

"Nice to finally meet you. I thought it would always be only a glimpse. Didn't think there would be a chance for me to talk to you in person." Wonwoo replied, not even giving attention to any of the things you said or even to what happened just now.

He brought out his hand and offered a handshake. "I'm Ansley Jeon or Le– Ans for short if you can't remember."

"Amara Alcantara or Mara for short. And how can I? You're pretty remarkable."

You two exchanged smiles and looked at each other's eyes as if you two share a language only you can understand.

After a bit, Ley went to greet his seniors back in school—Kassandra and Jarred.

The five of you, with Wonwoo's friend (Scott), included shared a table. All of them know each other given that they used to study in the same school except for you who grew up in Manila. It was comfortable as if you had met Wonwoo and his friend in person years ago. They also gave time for you and Wonwoo to catch up alone, especially since it was your first time meeting after talking in the past years online.

At 8 pm, you all have to go home.

[chat]

"It was nice seeing you again, Mara. You became even more beautiful."

"I really can't take your praises seriously, Ans. Hahaha."

"I meant everything that I said, from years ago 'til now."

"If you say so, then I'll try to believe it. It was nice seeing you too. Finally, it's not a one-sided glimpse."

"Well, God gave me time to glow-up before meeting you, and I thank him for that."

"See? How can I believe you?"

"I'm not pressuring you to, Mara. Just feel it and follow your instincts. I'm confident."

"All right, if you say so."

After all, time is the ultimate teller.

[gaoau]

Kissing with my feelings, kissing with my thoughts

Raison d'Être warnings — none. word count — 2.9k

prev. — next.

With the days rolling by, [Name] almost lost track of herself. She tried a little harder to keep an eye out for the amount of food in Ai's bowl. She forced herself to become more attentive at her job and pitch in with those ideas she never dared bring up. She put in some more effort to gaze at the colors surrounding her for a bit longer. Sometimes all she saw was blue.

It was enough for her.

As she walked out of the building, a folder and papers in one arm, her other hand busy with her phone, she heard her name being called. She stopped in her tracks and craned her neck backwards. A co-worker caught up to her, jogging. "[Surname]-san!" she called out once more as she came to a halt before [Name]. "We're going out for some drinks, would you like to come?"

[Name] followed her pointing thumb towards the group of people by the office doors, awaiting her reply. She blanked at the opportunity, at the offer to interact with minds of her own—similar, but not the same, so different. Truthfully, she hadn't taken the time to relax and drink the night away in so long she couldn't even recall the date. And truthfully, this spontaneous invitation came out of nowhere. Maybe it wasn't a bad idea to engage with more people.

A smile grew on her face as she fully turned to address her co-worker. She didn't remember her name. She didn't remember her like how she remembered Chifuyu and Kazutora. Years of working in the same office, but she had better awareness of two men she'd met little over a month before. She wasn't fine with that; she didn't like it.

So despite it not being a bad idea, [Name] remembered Chifuyu before she thought of anything else. The painting he had commissioned, and then the dog he trusted in her hands. All the trust. Yeah, she had to get home to Ai first. "Can I take a raincheck on that one? I'm a bit busy today."

Her co-worker blinked back at her, almost surprised. "Oh. Yes, of course. Maybe next week?"

"That sounds good. I'll see you guys on Monday."

"Alright. Have a good weekend, [Surname]-san."

"You too." She wanted to reply back with her name, but it really didn't pop up in her memory no matter how hard she tried. She sent a wave towards the rest of her colleagues, receiving the same amount—if not more—enthusiasm when they waved back. It caught her off guard more than she expected. She definitely needed to try a little harder with them as well.

Through the door to her apartment, [Name] could hear the expectant excitement oozing out of Ai as he tapped his nails on the floor. He had already become conscious of the melody of her keys by the time she came home and it became a part of his own routine. When she finally opened the door, he greeted her with a dance on his hind legs while she welcomed him into her arms. He fit so snugly, so perfectly. [Name] was meant to hold him now and forever.

She placed him back on the floor after enough baby-talking. As per usual, movements already ingrained in her muscle memory, she flung her folders, her bag, and her shoes onto their designated organized messes. She browsed through her fridge to make a mental note for groceries. She had an energy bar as a snack before dinner. She changed out of her work clothes. She did the dishes from the previous night. Ai followed her around as she attempted everything in her power to show no fear.

But she was still terrified of the ginormous canvas sitting at the dinner table.

Taking a seat across from it, [Name] forced herself to think clearly. There was no way she could possibly work on something so stupidly gigantic. What was she meant to draw on it? A landscape? A portrait? A collage? Dots and lines and squares and call it abstract?

It had been running through her mind for the past few days, but she couldn't decide. She couldn't settle for an adequate measure of how bad of an idea it was. Some days she found it was fine, and others she wanted to punt herself into the moon for ever thinking she could think. Crumpled post-it notes and ripped pieces of paper littered the floor around it in a circle, ready for a ritual to summon the gods of inspiration—or the devils.

The more she stared at it, the less she understood what she was glaring at. Her thoughts circled around her head one after the other in a loop. Landscape, portrait, fruit, flowers, abstract, shapes, angles, angels, devils, animals, fish, dogs, Ai—oh, Chifuyu.

That was right. She shook her head to expel her obsessions from her mind. Chifuyu had commissioned her. If there was anything she should prioritize, it was the man with high expectations of her. It was no healthy motivation, but it was the most she could do to keep herself grounded. She found the thought of Chifuyu always grounded her.

Somehow, with the strength of a thousand dying warriors, [Name] managed to tear her eyes away from the disgustingly huge canvas waiting for dinner to be served. She caught a glimpse of Ai's pitying eyes gazing at her with curiosity. A smile crawled onto her lips. She knelt to sink her fingers into his fur. He closed his eyes in glee.

"If it weren't for you, bubs…" her voice died off into the silence. She wasn't too sure how to finish that sentence. She wasn't too sure she even could. Ai peered up at her as if he understood. Maybe he did. "Yeah, you're right," she chuckled to herself.

Another canvas waited for her in its stand. It was the right size for the wall Chifuyu wanted to decorate. She took a comfortable seat before it, her various supplies in reach as she gathered all her creativity. It didn't need to be perfect; she simply needed to start.

A cat. Chifuyu wanted a cat. A black cat. Very simple, easy, accessible, something she could work with as if she had done it a billion times before. Add black onto the white to create something, to build upon the jarring nothingness with contrasting tones of ink and acrylic. There was no need to think about values or tones or cohesion among the colors. It was just black. It was all welcoming and common.

Her eyes remained glued to the blank canvas screaming back at her. She tried picturing the cat in her head. She tried to remember the one she'd poorly drawn on a spare piece of paper that Chifuyu had given her. She tried her best to think of what a cat looked like.

She really didn't know what a cat looked like.

Which was fair. She didn't own a cat, and even if she did, it didn't guarantee she could replicate it accordingly. Only having a general idea of what the animal's features were shaped like wasn't quite enough to slap it into paint.

Finally, she gave in to her struggles and reached for her phone. If anything, she could browse the Internet for any sort of reference to actually draw a cat. The anatomy, the distance between the different elements of its face, the curves and straight lines, the reflection of the light on the fur. The eyes. The pigments in the eyes. The blue eyes Chifuyu had asked for.

"Ah, man, this is harder than I thought…" she muttered in distress, bringing her finger up to her mouth. She chewed at the skin on the corner of her nails. Image after image of different cats traveled down her screen. She hummed, "D'you think I should ask…?" It was an idea. She didn't know how good of an idea it was. She didn't know if it was an excuse as well. Her pondering hum morphed into a growl.

Before she could bite her own finger off, an incoming call startled her out of her wits. She blinked dumbfounded at the caller ID displaying on her screen out of the blue. Her eyes refused to focus out of her concentration. It was late at night on a Saturday. The kanji were blurry as she tried to read and make sense out of them.

"Oh, it's Chifuyu-san! What the—?" She shook her head without finishing her own thought. Her finger swiped on instinct to answer the call. "Hello, Chifuyu-san! How are you?!"

"Good night, [Name]-san. I'm doing good, how are you?"

"I'm…" She glanced quickly at the fuming canvas before her. A tight smile grew on her face. She laughed at herself. "I'm good, too, thanks for asking."

"Anytime. Sorry to bother you so late, but I just remembered Ai's tag."

Confusion pushed through in her questioning hum. Her eyes scanned the room to find the mentioned puppy sleeping beside her feet. The tightness of her awkward smile dissipated into endearment. He had a bed of his own but he stuck by her side, lying on the hard floor. It really felt like he understood. She slipped her phone onto her other hand, wondering out loud, "Ai's tag?"

Chifuyu chuckled through the speaker. "His nametag. Remember?"

Oh, yeah, the nametag. "Oh, yeah, the nametag."

"Yeah, we set an order for it almost two months ago. I'm sorry it took so long."

But as Chifuyu blabbered apologies [Name] didn't need nor would ever dare ask for, the gears in her brain turned at speeds they'd never reached before. Names, names, names. There was so much behind names. Matsuno Chifuyu. [Surname] [Name]. Ai. Matsuno for wilderness and a vast forest of pine trees. [Surname] for an identity so out of reach. Ai for love and pondering and the color of the sky. 

Her glower burned through the empty canvas. It held so much vigor, she should've seen herself. She would've surprised herself.

Instantly, she scrambled. She sprang onto her feet, alarming the sleeping Ai by her side. She whispered an apology to him and then remembered Chifuyu on the phone while darting across the room. "Oh, yeah. Okay, Chifuyu-san, thanks for the reminder. When would you—" She bit her tongue when she slammed her finger on a drawer. It didn't stop her from rummaging through all her belongings. "When would you like me to come get it?"

"Are you okay, [Name]-san?"

She chortled into her phone. Why the fuck couldn't she find a spare piece of paper? "Yeah, just looking for something."

"Oh, alright." He sounded so amused in the little chuckles that slipped. "Well, whenever you're free to get it, you can just give me a call and I'll wait for you."

[Name] hummed, "That wo—No, actually—Fuck, where—? Oh!" She barely caught sight of forgotten post-it notes across her shelf. "Found 'em!" Immediately, she snatched a nearby pen and began scribbling the kanjis for Chifuyu's name. "Do you think I could come snap some pictures of cats for reference? I told you cat anatomy is weird. Their heads are just… odd."

"Are they?" In his own room, Chifuyu turned to analyze the shape of Peke J's face.

[Name] creeped behind the disgustingly ginormous canvas at the dinner table. "Try drawing one." Taking a deep breath, she slapped the post-it note on it as if she were killing a bug. For later reference.

"Fair enough. Then, would you like to come a bit before I open? Since I open later than usual tomorrow."

A closed, empty shop just for the two of them. For peace and calm and pictures she needed. She shook her head. "Oh, no, I wouldn't want to take up time from your late morning. I can just drop by when you open."

"It's no problem," he reassured, and [Name] could swear she was hearing his soothing smile through each of his words. "I commissioned you, so if you need some help, it's only natural I give you a hand."

[Name] didn't agree. Not really. It wasn't only natural to help her out. Creating the painting and finding the suitable resources to bring it to completion was all part of her job, her obligation. But Chifuyu was just nice like that. He held so much genuine kindness in him; so much aid he was willing to offer to someone like her without a second thought. The moment she couldn't walk by herself, Chifuyu held out his hand for her. It was the simplest of things. She felt her chest tighten at his softness.

Noticing her silence, he let out another quiet chuckle to bring her attention back to him. "I'll be waiting for you early tomorrow, then. Don't leave me hanging, [Name]-san."

She wouldn't dare. There was no protesting. "I—Well, okay, then."

"And you can bring Ai with you."

"Oh—Okay. I—I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have a good night, [Name]-san."

"You too, Chifuyu-san."

By the time she removed her phone from her ear, she couldn't look straight at Ai pawing at her feet. He seemed so blurry. Why did he seem so blurry? Her heart felt so sore after so little use, and now it burst with how full Chifuyu's kindness made her feel. She was starting to like the sound of his name.

She settled on the floor to welcome Ai into her embrace. Her tears vanished into his fur. He didn't mind it a bit.

Chifuyu unlocked the door for her, instantly cooing at the dog in her arms. The puppy began running on thin air in an attempt to rush towards Chifuyu. [Name] dropped to the ground so she could allow Ai to break free without flinging him like a cat. He was more than welcome against Chifuyu's apron, and he allowed his tongue to run all over his face as a greeting. [Name] laughed as she fiddled with her camera.

With the bundle of energy following behind him, Chifuyu reached towards the counter for the nametag. He displayed it for both [Name] and Ai to see, as if the dog understood what it was. "We have a gift for the handsome boy." And sometimes it really felt like he understood with the way he barked in response.

Chifuyu knelt to get access to Ai's collar. He was not only a handsome boy, but also quite polite as he stood still, letting the man clasp the metal piece as jewelry. [Name] spared a glance at the window to catch the people walking the streets toward their destinations. She noticed the sunlight pouring in at a perfect angle. When she turned back to Chifuyu, the light was bathing him in a golden hue of comfort.

She snapped a picture of the two of them without thinking.

"There, all done!" Chifuyu grinned to himself, admiring his own work. Ai seemed to smile back at him as he shivered in excitement. His grin turned towards [Name] while he rose from the floor.

Simultaneously, she knelt to Ai's level. "Come here, boy, lemme see." He approached instantly at the sound of her voice. He recognized boy more than he did his own name. "You sure look handsome with this now, bubs."

She traced the strokes engraved on the metal with her fingertips. Eighteen strokes to become Ai; for self-pondering, for reflection, for the sky on a hopeless and rainy night, for ai love you, and for love itself. Ai for all the things [Name] needed to remind herself. Ai for the reason she was alive after walking aimlessly for so long. Ai for how sore her heart felt now that she was putting it to use again. Sometimes, appreciation and empathy starts with a tiny, little puppy.

She returned her attention to Chifuyu as he beamed down at her so brightly, agreeing Ai looked so handsome. She couldn't put into words or ideas just how glad she was that he forced her to drop by the shop early. "Thanks again, Chifuyu-san." Moments with nothing more than him and Ai were all she could ask for. She didn't need more, but she wouldn't settle for less—not that he would allow her. There were no disruptions and she could enjoy the peace and joy in Chifuyu's mind to the fullest.

Sometimes, appreciation starts with a puppy. Sometimes, a man is what follows.

Her eyes shot wide open at her own thoughts. Molten lava replaced the blood in her veins, rushing to her face in an eruption of embarrassment. She darted away from the puppy and Chifuyu's gaze in a split second. Her camera and the cats set up for adoption were a perfect distraction from her insides burning up.

Chifuyu's voice blended with Ai's curious paws as one chatted her ear off and the other explored. It really was a lot more lovely than she had bargained for. If the two of them would allow her selfishness, she didn't want to settle for anything less.

[cantfightmoonlight]

"Do I? And here I just thought I liked a good aesthetic," A smile broke across her lips regardless at the compliment. It wasn't every day someone wanted to hear about her nerdy love of organizing let alone her laminator. But, it was nice, having someone she was now family with seem to get it. "No, I haven't, but that sounds fun! Maybe we could look into it together? You know, I used to be vegan, before well... everything," She trailed off motioned up to her teeth as she flashed her fangs momentarily, before cupping her hand almost embarrassingly over her lips. Her cheeks flushing pink as she did. "I just mean that I used to be big on the whole helping the environment thing." Or at least in her head she had been. She recycled and had color coordinated bins under the sink in her kitchen, but that was basically the extent of it.

"It sounds like a little of both," She admitted, giving Amrita an understanding nod at the thought. "I get it though. I've always loved crowds and performing, but recently, I'm a little more hesitant of them than I have been in the past. It can be intimidating being in a room of people who don't like you," She trailed off at the thought, suddenly reminded of her first White Elephant party and how the whole room of people had been so quick to turn on her the second she had played the game and taken the designer bag from Bex's hand. "I wouldn't have expected you to?" While it was hard for Bri to forget about it, she knew Amrita had much different experience coming to town and joining their family than she did. The witch was welcomed with open arms or, at least, that was how it appeared from the outside looking in. While, ever since coming back from the dead, Bri seemed to struggle when it came to growing close to people and making friends. A part of wished she could go back to the girl she used to be before dying. She might have been far too naive for her own good, but she never used to get so caught up in her own head like she did now. While these days, it seemed like no matter how much she tried not to, she'd wind up self sabotaging herself.

"Oh, I don't know? Maybe we should just distract each other and hope for the best?" She offered up with a small gulp. Only for her eyes to widened at the question. Shaking her head back and forth as she reached up to awkwardly run her hand across the back of her neck. "Erm, no? Not exactly? Sorry. I wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't think you already knew, I mean you... you know I'm a resurrected, right?" She asked, biting down on her bottom lip nervously as she realized Amrita might not have been filled in with any of the details when it boiled down to who she was. "I d-died while transition into, well... you know. I guess the change just didn't take for me, but about two years ago, I was brought back to life because of a spell the Catalyst placed over town. Apparently, we had twenty four hours to live again with a catch. If we... if we happened to kill someone during that twenty four hour time period, we'd... we'd take their place in the land of the living? I didn't know! I promise you. I had no idea I had even died. I just woke up mid transition all over again. The pain was unbearable and the next thing I knew I was covered in blood- I'm sorry. I'm not trying to get into all of the gory details, especially not at a wedding of all things. It's just... your brother didn't take well to me being back. He recognized me from the astral plane or something? Being a necromancer and all and he didn't think it was fair that I got to live in someone else's stead which I don't blame him for," She could feel herself getting choked up as she tried to explain. Her voice beginning to shake as she carried on speaking, "I still sometimes think it would have been better if I had never..." come back. "But, anyways, he kind of freaked out at me in Blush Boutique and I didn't know who he was. He just caught me off guard and scared me, so I accidentally compelled him. I didn't know what I was doing. It just happened. I finally figured out how to uncompell him and undid it, but the damage was already done and he didn't really want anything to do with me for over a year after. Again, not that I blame him. We've only recently moved past it, so we get along now," She tried to assure Amrita. "He just didn't really like me for a while and I wouldn't exactly blame you if you didn't like me either after hearing all of that," She gulped again. "I can kind of be a lot." Having a feeling she had already blown it, she squeezed her eyes shut as if in anticipation of the worst.

Amrita pondered Bri's words genuinely. "Well, I have used different ones. I do think I like the organization found in already set up weekly and daily planners? I've tried bullet journaling, and I like it, but it's hard to find time to like set it up in a way I'm happy with it? Maybe I'm just too busy lately, but I like having a detailed outlook of what's happening on my day." At the mention of a laminator, her eyes widened, impressed. "Oh, you mean business! That's so fun. I had to really splurge on my printer, but a laminator is a dream." Truth be told, Amrita had like three completely filled bullet journals, but at some point in her early twenties, her preferences changed. Now, Amrita would rather have a predetermined planner and use her free time to crochet or to work on her scrapbook. "This may sound... niche, but I'm really interested in making my own recycled paper and doing little journals with them? Have you heard about that?"

At Bri's question, Amrita nervously picked at her own nails. "I guess both? I don't know. The only time I don't mind crowds or an audience is if I'm playing music? But outside of that, it just feels stuffy? I am an introvert if that isn't obvious." She joked a bit before her eyes dimmed at Bri's words. It was true that any large gathering resulted in utter tragedy. It was a sheer miracle that this many of them were standing. The young witch felt her shoulders drop as she nodded, solemnly. "I guess that's true." It was so silly to focus on how Rohan had many friends, but the mere fact made Amrita happy. He was surrounded by people that loved him, he deserved that and so much more. Some times Amrita felt like she lived under a rock. She knew of the Council's decision, but she found herself forgetting things. Rohan's verdict felt so far away now. "I guess that's true. I hadn't really thought about that if I'm honest... Still, I'm sure they'll get along." Now she wasn't that certain.

It was then that the names and faces of the leaders and their advisors came to Amrita mind as she pondered for a second. As someone who admired authority figures, it was quite hard to think about their punishments for a long time. The young witch had been ready to face a harsher punishment when she broke into Town Hall, but seeing her brother face such wrath... well, that had been a lot harder to bear. Still. A life was such a precious thing. "Do you want to go and join them then? Or... should we cause a distraction?" She suggested, uncertain. If Amrita was more confident she would've grabbed Bri's hands to ensure she didn't bite them, but she wasn't. So instead, the witch picked at her own nails. Then something Bri had said came back to her. "Wait. Do you... not get along with Rohan? Is it rude to ask why? He hasn't mentioned anything."

[lemonyko0]

Want It All - jjk

there are only two types of people in the word: those who have it all, and those who want it all.

» genre: (mini) series, angst, smut, some fluff.

» description: high society, arrogant rich boy jjk meets strong-willed reader, and together they hatch a plan to have it all. enemies to lovers, fake dating au :P

» word count: 11k (... i know but HEAR ME OUT... i worked three days on this and not my school work so just give it a chance 😭)

Part 1 | Part 2

have you ever met someone that seemed to love the things they hate? it's as if they run on spite, constantly doing the opposite of what others tell them to do and crush every expectation and prediction put upon them.

for you, this was turning against your family's generationally toxic values and living how you wanted. and you made no effort in hiding your plans.

this came down to almost every detail. it didn't matter what anyone else thought of you, of course. you knew that. but you can't deny the power of not only crushing but exceeding people's expectations of you.

even when you were given scholarships for a great school, and became successful, you still wanted more. there was still something to prove, even when "having it all" (being smart, pretty, and practically guaranteed money and success) there was still a missing, undeniable, factor.

and that is when you met jeon jungkook.

god, did you hate, jeon jungkook.

being the type of person you were, also garnered a lot of hate. you always chalked it up to jealousy, or envy. all the same, it only fueled you more, and otherwise had no purpose. so therefore, you did not feel jealousy. (or so, before you met him).

your university was among the top in the country, and being one of the top ranked in your class meant you were granted opportunities others were not. it gave the up and coming (or simply privileged) people a way to make connections and "friends" (people deemed acceptable company) so dinners, party's, charity events, and balls were all accustomed to you.

during your last year of university, you decided to purchase an enchanting sequined, black dress that had caught your eye a few months earlier. it was perfect for the event, and a little out of budget, but you could work around it.

and boy, was it worth it.

"wow, it's like that dress was made for you, y/n." sooyung awes, equally as gorgeous when she's dolled up and in a red dress.

"i wish it was acceptable to wear stuff like this all the time, because you're right, this totally is made for me.

she laughs, "you should contact the designer, he'd be all over you."

you chuckle and wave her off after dressing and assembling your mini purse to match, you both are ready to head to the charity ball. dinner, service, and a free bar. doesn't get much better than that.

the night goes on the same as ever, having been attending this ceremony every year since your first year, and many people had the same story as you, in that sense.

which means all the faces become known, so seeing one as striking as him that you didn't know, only made him more alluring. especially considering he hadn't taken his gorgeous eyes off of you all night.

you wondered when he'd approach you. you gave him ample opportunity, even setting up a few perfect scenarios. the night was past it's peak and began to wind down when you found yourself seated alone at the open bar.

he slides into the stool beside you and orders himself a drink, and you another of whatever you're almost done with.

you raise your brows at him with a grin, "should've done that several hours ago.

your mean words don't cause him to turn away, instead he laughs, "forgive me, it took some courage."

you hum, "courage? i would think a man like you would have no problem approaching women."

the server hands us both our respective drinks and he swishes it around before sipping, "you've got me there."

you nod, intrigued by his honesty. "have i ever seen you before?"

his eyes widen the slightest bit at your question. you don't understand why, but it was a subtle change, you conclude you're overthinking him. men are simple creatures.

"i have surely never seen you before, because if i had, i would not have forgotten."

you smile, "charming." he bites at his lip, making the silver ring all the more noticeable as it shines against the light at the bar. "what's your name then?"

"jeon jungkook." he extends a hand.

you take his large hand into yours, extending the shake, "y/f/n."

he grins, and you can't deny the depths of his grin, both soft and so, so dark. "it's a pleasure to meet you."

and as all things happen, when one pent-up college student meets another in equal standing and frustration, it doesn't take you long at all to end up with an invitation to his place.

"your place?" you ask as he leads you outside the venue.

he nods, digging in his pockets to find his keys, "yeah.”

as you predicted, his daddy most definitely did have money. he led you to a very nice apartment complex. fitting for someone his age, but still opulent enough to not sacrifice the luxurious things he likely grew up with.

and clearly, patience was not one of the things he was taught at a young age. had it not been for your request of a surface softer than the front door, you think he would have taken you right then and there.

his body is heavy pressed against yours, easily clouding your thoughts when his lips are on your neck and his thigh presses between your legs.

you give as much as you take, reaching down to feel him through his pants and he rewards you with a groan. you undo his belt and he kicks his pants off. he only detaches himself from you once, to strip his top half and instructing you to turn around so he can unzip your dress.

he's quick to trap you between him and the door again and you struggle to detach yourself from him long enough to whimper out a request.

finally the mention of his name has him stopping long enough for you to ask, "mind if we take this somewhere a little softer?"

he grins, "anywhere you'd like gorgeous."

he takes your hand and leads you to his bedroom, sitting on his bed first before leading you into his lap to continue to kiss you feverishly.

your hands become entangled in his dark locks and his hands grip your ass, moving you ever so slowly back and forth against him as he kisses you.

you pull away, hoping to get this moving a little quicker and disconnect your lips and tip his head back to attach your lips to his neck. he moans at a sensitive spot beneath his ear, and another above his collarbone.

he curses and flips you both over, making quick work of your bra as he pulls it off from beneath you and tosses it away. he groans and grips your chest as if it was his first time seeing such a thing.

he worshiped you as if you were his first and last, although by the way he worked your body it was clear you would be neither of those things.

he trailed his mouth down from your chest to your pelvis, peeling your lace underwear off as he went. "mind if i have a taste?"

he asks as if you'd stop him now.

"absolutely."

he chuckles almost arrogantly. and you hoped he was as good as he pretended to be. as soon as he put his tongue on you, that truth became evident.

he had you mewling beneath him. practically dragging your hips against him to beg for more, as if he wasn't already giving you everything he had. he absolutely relished in the sight of you coming just from his tongue.

you curse and he makes his way back up to you, "still up for more?" he asks with a cocky grin.

your chest is still rising and falling as you admire the way he stares at you. "i'd be awful not to reward you after that."

he smiles, "i was hoping you'd say that."

you grin and run your hand up along his thigh, "so what'll it be, jungkook?"

his words are vulgar but they come out soft, dripping in power. "can't help but picture what you'd look like bouncing on my cock." who are you to deny such a request?

with your approval he situates himself against his headboard and holds you as you position yourself above him. his breathing slows and he looks at you determined, as if he had this planned from the beginning.

you're glad he was kind enough to get you off first, because you're certain now as he fills you up that you would've been a goner otherwise. you hadn't really paid close attention to what he was packing until you felt him inside of you. he was a stretch to say the least, and from his position he hit all the spots he needed to. you're almost sure he would in any position, and you were up to test that too. "god, jungkook, you're big.

what you anticipate is a cocky comment from him but he's just as in awe as you are when he cusses, "god, you feel phenomenal."

you grin at his choice of words and begin to lift your hips up and down. you watch him closely, having pegged him for an ass guy early on has you rethinking the way you'd drawn him up in your head as he ogles at your chest. his eyes stutter between that, and the part where your bodies connect. one of his large hands grabs at your ass and the other helps you keep pace against your hip.

"fuck, more, please." he requests and you oblige as much as you can, but the issue with giving more is you tire quicker.

he seems unfazed, tilting his head back and letting his sounds reverberate in his bedroom. you do the same, no room for shyness when you're both being so open about the pleasure. he cusses and grips your hips tighter, "can we switch it up?" you nod, and he smiles. "head down, ass up."

you almost moan at the mention of it. he matches your excitement with eagerness, not wasting any time as he slides back in and builds up to the pace you were at before, then beyond.

he grips tightly on your hips, pulling you back with him with every thrust. the harshness of it in perfect unison of your impending highs. he's close and you can tell.

"fuck y/n, are you close?"

you nod and whine out a yes. he groans and snakes one of his arms around your front and circles your clit. "wanna see you cum around my cock." he breaths, "can you do that for me gorgeous?"

you're plenty past the point of letting him control you, letting him fuck you senselessly into the mattress when you struggle to moan out a response. he just chuckles and continues to play with you until your orgasm comes crashing down and you both moan in unison. he fucks you through it and stills soon after.

you turn over onto your back and let your eyes flutter shut. not concerned with what he was doing, although you were sure that was when he discarded of the condom he filled and slipped his boxers back on after cleaning himself up.

you awaited further instruction for what comes next. guys are different, you don't assume you can stay until you're explicitly told. you assume you're not when he doesn't join you in bed again. instead you ask to use his restroom and he points to the door across from the bed.

when you come back out you begin the search for your clothes. he's sitting on his bed, clearing his notifications it seemed. he looks up at you while you're scavenging the floor, "you should stay, it's pretty late."

you shrug, sliding your bra back on, "it's fine, i'll catch an uber."

he crawls over to you and slips off the bed, standing in front of you and looking deeply into your eyes. you feel one of his hands ghost your jaw before he places another kiss against your lips.

this was something you deemed out of character, but it definitely helped him create an offer you couldn't refuse. "come on, i'm a great cuddler and i'll even make breakfast."

you're not usually a fan of staying, unless you're too drunk and it's too late to be safe, so when you agree to his offer you surprise yourself.

and it turns into one of your biggest regrets when you wake up the next morning.

"fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"

you curse, practically rampaging through jungkook's room as soon as you wake up. it was serene for perhaps a minute. your mind caught up with you, and you quickly realized you woke up on your own accord and not according to your alarm.

you looked around frantically for a clock or phone of sorts. and the panic that set in once you read the digital alarm clock on his bedside table would have any doctor believe your heart was actually in the pits of your stomach.

"no fucking way. this can't be happening right now."

a trick to maintaining a healthy social life to academic life balance is setting your alarms before you go out. so no matter what happens, you always have time.

except this time, your phone wasn't in your purse. in fact, it wasn't in his bedroom at all. jungkook opens his bedroom door to find you dressing as quickly as you could, prepared to find a car or even race to your interview in the same dress and heels if you had to.

"someone looks panicked, what's got you in such a hurry?"

"fuck! where is my phone?!" he laughs and you are not amused in the slightest as he casually leans against the doorframe with an absolutely shit-eating grin. "seriously jungkook i really need to go, help me out?"

he shrugs and doesn't move an inch. i shove past him in an angry mumble, "men are so unhelpful."

he scoffs, "you certainly didn't hold that opinion last night."

you roll your eyes, "seriously jungkook, do you know where it is or if i had it?" he ticks his head towards the couch. "right there."

you frown, "how the hell did it get there?" he grins, "that alarm was awfully annoying. do you normally do that after hooking up with people? what a terrible way to wake up, you don't get a lot of call backs do you-"

"you heard my alarm? and you didn't wake me up?!" you stare at him in disbelief.

he chuckles, "you are fun to play with y/n, but i'm not a huge sadist so in the favor of not prolonging this, allow me to fill you in."

he pulls a chair from the table beside him and straddles it, crossing his muscular arms on top and over the back of it as he looks at you darkly. "you must be aware of the list of candidates mr. kim chooses for his internship." you nod, not even concerned how he knew about the internship interview you missed this morning or what this had to do with him, "it's a short list, and he doesn't only choose from the school he teaches at. he just wants the best of the best."

you nod and scoff, "yeah i already know all of this, the point, please?"

he chuckles, clearly annoyed, "well the list turned out to be awfully hard to get my hands on, but even harder to decipher who the candidates were when he only wrote the students code and their university on the forms. all i knew was he had us all ranked, and someone from your university was in the number one spot, and not me."

my thoughts race, in all my years studying here i had not been immune to my fair share of dirty and underhanded tricks to reach my goals, but nothing compares to what he was describing. he continues still, "i asked everywhere, you hadn't seemed to tell a damn person you were chosen for the opportunity, let alone the best shot at winning." he ticks his head at me, "that was until i came across sooyung. she spotted me at the cafe and didn't waste a second. she's quite the talker, you know?"

you shake your head speechlessly, "you seriously went to all of these lengths just to be sure i missed that interview?"

he just smiles proudly, and you laugh, "how insecure of you, actually. i should thank you." you walk towards him on the chair, confused and dissident as you wrap yourself around him before bending down to his level, "you had a lot of praise for me last night, but the notion that you couldn't beat me on your own merit, knowledge, and skill has to be the largest one of all."

he does not like that. he angrily bites the corner of his mouth and offendedly laughs,

"say what you want, theres no way he'll give you that spot now."

you walk away from him with a shrug, collecting your things, "that may be, but i wouldn't say it's sured. i do hope for your sake though jungkook," you open his door and turn back around to look him in the eyes, "that this is the last time you see me."

that was everything that happened when you first met jungkook. all in less than 24 hours.

much to your demise, he had successfully blocked you from claiming that summer intern position with mr. kim, and managed to somehow convince him that he was the right choice.

you decided begging or bargaining for that spot was beneath you, although mr. kim did recommend you to another agency.

"this wasn't on the list of options they handed out at the beginning of the semester." you question, looking over the application he had just handed you.

he doesn't look up from his desk, "i know, because they don't usually hire students."

you chuckle even though it's not amusing, "then why are you telling me to apply there? do you think i need more disappointment?"

he chuckles at that, "no, not at all. i wouldn't recommend this if i didn't think you had a chance." he looks up at me, "let's just say, i heard through the grapevine that they were debating, allowing students to intern. if they'd make an exception for anyone, i think it'd be you."

you nod, and he adds, "and it's not like you have much other options, unless you want a less reputable company."

you shake your head quickly, "being accepted here would be insane for my resume." he nods and with that you part him with a thanks.

as if lady luck herself pities you, or perhaps by the grace of god himself, you find yourself getting a call on a Tuesday morning regarding your unprompted submission to intern at one of the country's largest and most reputable companies.

you were half expecting to be let down, and the other half was excepting to be berated for such an inappropriate action.

you were not expecting to be told you were expected at headquarters for a meeting with the current director over further plans.

and it went swimmingly.

some people just click, and for once you are more than glad, elated, even, that this man seemed to take quite a liking to your work and ambition, all made clear not only through your resume and portfolio submitted but by your very presence.

he leaned over to speak quietly, "you know, we don't take on students." your heart began to break a little, "but we've always entertained the idea. it surely has its benefits. not to mention, first grabs on the newest, and best talent."

you light up at his words, "of course i think it's a fantastic idea, but i am also biased."

he laughs and nods, "yes, well, of course. i'm unsure what exactly we'd have you do, but i don't doubt you'd be willing to do whatever we asked of you."

you nod, "correct." you don't care if its running errands, secretary work, writing, or even handing pens out, you would do it.

he purses his lips, "and we'll base your pay off of what we have you do. we'll reach that conclusion at about week 4. does this all sound agreeable to you?"

you nod quickly, "yes of course, i understand."

he grins widely, it was almost familiar, and stands with his hand extended out to you.

"i’ll have our lawyers draw up a contract for you, your term ends on the 29th correct?"

you shake his hand with a large smile, "yes, it does."

he nods, "perfect then, we'll be in touch. glad to have you, y/n."

working at mr. lee's company exceeded your expectations. you began to understand why this was everyone's top pick, and why they were never hiring.

your life had continued to follow the path you worked so hard to ensure. you responded to mr. lee (or his secretary, when he was too busy) for your task sheet every week and they even began to accept you as another coworker. even mr. lee took kindly to you, so much as to invite you to the company's charity event.

you spent most of your time there learning more about your coworkers, even meeting some of their partners or family.

mr. lee seemed very glad to see you and noticed you immediately while making his rounds. "ah y/n! i was really hoping you'd make it."

you laugh and bow to him, "of course, how could i not come? it's a fantastic event mr. lee, thank you for having me."

he shakes his head, "nonsense. you belong here." he doesn't seem to understand the weight of his words, and they fill you with hope. ever so carefully entertaining the idea that this could be your future. "i may have invited you for selfish reasons as well, y/n."

you look at him, both worried and confused, and he laughs, holding his gut, "oh heavens! not for me." he laughs heartily, "i-i have a son, i would really love you to meet."

the panic falls from your face and you laugh with him, "oh! gosh, of course. i'd be delighted."

he grins widely, "well then, let me introduce you to my family."

your heart pounds with excitement as you follow his lead around the decorated room and to a nearby table. "y/n, this is my wife."

you smile and introduce yourself to her, gosh she's gorgeous. if he has half the looks his mother does, you're sold.

"nice to meet you y/n! how are you enjoying the party?" she asks before gesturing to sit at the seat in front of her.

"it's fantastic! i especially love how the centerpieces are the colors of the foundation you're honoring tonight." you comment, having done your research last night.

her eyes glow in admiration, "yes!" she gawks, touching your hand for a moment,

"you are just as intelligent as my husband said you were." she grins and leans forward,

"and you seem to be just his son's type, but don't tell him i told you that." you both laugh,

"he gets embarrassed so easily." she covers her laugh, "there was this one time where he-"

"i would rather you not tell this story again, please." a figure from behind you speaks, placing a drink in front of her and another on the table beside you as he sits down.

and when you lock eyes, a million things all at once rush to your head.

jeon jungkook, again.

"jungkook."

he looks equally bewildered, "y/n?" you don't respond, still too much in shocked anger and fumbling to find the correct gameplay. "what are you doing here?" he asks.

his mother scoffs and reaches over to slap his arm, "jeon jungkook, be kind. this was the girl your father wanted you to meet, y/n, this is my son!"

your eyes race between her and jungkook. how could you not have noticed? he is literally the spitting image of his mother. it was right in front of you.

"yeah, we've met." he tells her. you raise an eyebrow, not anticipating that he would admit that, knowing what door it would open.

"oh, really? all the better!" she rises from her seat and walks over to jungkook, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and leaning down to tell him, "your father picked this one, perhaps take it seriously, and he may actually begin to take you, seriously."

her words sound loving and sweet, but the meaning was much deeper and darker in insinuation than on surface level. jungkook looks troubled but doesn't reply. "alright! well, have fun you two!" she places a hand on your shoulder as she walks past me and into the crowd to socialize beside her husband.

jungkook is silent. you find it extremely amusing. you cross your arms and look at him with the cocky grin he was sporting the last time you saw him.

he avoids your stare until it becomes unavoidable and uncomfortable. you wait for him to speak up. he scoffs and shakes his head, "what's with the grin? shouldn't you be begging right about now?"

you furrow your brows, "why on earth would i be begging?"

he chuckles, "i could tell my dad how we met. he doesn't exactly approve of my lifestyle. says i'm spoiled and lack a clear ambition all because i enjoy the money he gives me, and women." he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "if he knew you were anything like me, i doubt you'd remain in the current high regards he holds for you."

you laugh, "from the sounds of it, you're in no position to make such a gamble with your father." he looks at you testingly, and you match his stance by resting your elbows on your knees, but let your chin rest in your hands as you stare at him. "sounds like you need to appease your father. I'll be sure to tell him how you took advantage of me in a vulnerable stage, after breaking up with my boyfriend, and never spoke to me afterwards. maybe even include why you sought me out in the first place-"

"wait, what are you talking about? that first part isn't true at all-"

"oh, but isn't it?" you ask, your expression going from innocent confusion to a grin,

"because that's how i'll tell it. and i'll have you know, my acting skills are quite great." you render him silent, "who would he believe, jungkook?"

he lets out a heavy sigh, leaning back against his seat. he toys with his fingers and checks the time on his watch, before pursing his lips and looking at you. "okay."

"okay?"

he nods, "okay." he picks up his chair and scoots it close enough our knees are touching. "what will it take for you to not do that."

you chuckle once, and then several more times, "oh gosh jungkook. i almost forgot how funny you were." he is not amused in the slightest. "i'm a woman of my word. what i say and what i live by is law, that's what's gotten me this far. not, people like you, who are simply handed it."

"i’m clearly not being handed it, that's the whole fucking issue." he grumbles.

you hum, "so thats it?" you giggle, "he hasn't agreed to let you take over, has he?" he shakes his head, you've clearly hit a nerve, "oh boy i knew he was smart, but this is, wow-”

"would you please stop with your pretentious babbling and get to it?"

you pout, "you're absolutely no fun jungkook."

he crosses his arms across his chest, "i just want to know as soon as possible if you plan on throwing more fuel under the fire that is my future burning away, so i can at least run collateral. or, by your own graces, what you'd like in exchange to not, do that."

you simply smile to him, "i told you jungkook, if you ever met me again you'd live to regret it."

he nods, "yes i do recall your threatening spiel as you left my house."

you shrug, "perfect. so you'll understand how kind i am about to be." his eyes move from the floor to meet yours. "the idea of negotiating with you sounds horrendous, and there are very few things i'd put above watching you wither from something i caused.”

"but…”

"but, there is one thing i can think of, you may actually be useful for." he nods, "yeah, which is?"

your head falls to the side, letting your hand reach out to his on the table as you run your fingers against his, "i want a guaranteed spot at this company." his eyes follow your fingers, "and you want to someday run it."

he nods slowly, still entranced. "so here's my plan, now, it's still a rough draft with little thought, but this is what i think could work: we date for a while. Unsure how long, but long enough to make sure your father likes us both, and when we deem it enough, we break up mutually on good terms."

he sits stilled, his eyes meeting mine after a few moments, "that sounds great, but i think you've left something unaccounted for."

"and that is?"

he grins, "that i, will be working there, even running it, at some point. are you really comfortable with working there and loathing your boss?"

you laugh, "if it comes to that point, which even with my genius plan, is still an if, I'll decide if i can stay, or we'll agree on where to transfer or recommend me. does this sound acceptable to you?"

he stirs in his seat for a moment, then picks up your hand, as if to shake it but he simply holds it, "i accept it."

you nod, "how about we discuss further plans on our first date? where do you want to go?"

he hums, "letting me pick?" you nod. "well, fighting the urge to say i'd like to do what we did when we first met," you scoff, "i guess i'll settle on dinner?"

you agree, "okay, dinner it is. friday?"

"that works.”

"great!" you stand from your seat, "dinner, on you"

he purses his lips and nods, "figures." you turn to walk away and he stops you, latching onto your wrist, "wait."

you simply look down at him, and he says,

"need your number, gorgeous." you shake your head, grabbing his phone from his hand and typing in your information before handing it back to him. "y/n with a heart?" he chuckles, "that's not something i would write in."

you shrug, "if you want to convince your parents it's real, you can't treat me like every other girl you've fucked around with."

he nods, seemingly understanding the depths of what i'm telling him, "i guess so.”

"yes, exactly. now, i'll grab drinks for both of us and tell your parents how much i like you already, what do you want?"

your date with jungkook was as exhausting as you’d anticipated it would be. It was a free meal though, and with an extremely attractive man, so you couldn't wholeheartedly complain. There was definitely worse ways to spend your friday night.

“so i get my family and your coworkers and such have to believe this, but it's alright to tell our friends, yeah?”

you’re slouched and swishing the wine around in your glass as you hum, “mhm. i’d think of it this way, only tell who you absolutely have to tell. for me? that'll only be sooyung. everyone else around me, friends or not, will think i am dating you.”

he nods, “so you're only telling your closest friend, and everyone else is off-limits from the truth? don't you think that's a bit much? i mean, that's going to completely tank our actual dating lives.”

you shake your head, not caring to look him in the eyes as you speak, “the people around us all have connections to something or someone. the last thing we need is someone finding out and either telling your parents, or blackmailing us. it's the safest way to ensure nothing goes wrong.” he chews on his food and indicates he understands and you interject, “and about your last comment, frankly i wouldn't be that concerned for your dating life if your parents were literally setting you up with women.”

he scowls, “that has nothing to do with what i was talking about.”

you nod and smile, “oh! you mean, how will this affect your sex life?” you laugh, “silly me, i thought by “dating lives” you meant actual, meaningful, relationships.”

he scoffs, “whatever you call it, i may not be labeled ‘boyfriend material' by many women, but the last thing i want to be labeled as is a cheater, fake relationship or not.”

you’re surprised by his statement. “why? it's not like it would really ruin your chances of future relationships. you'd be surprised what women are willing to forget for a mildly hot guy with money.”

“that's only half of the concern. i just, don't want to be that guy.”

you shrug, not really understanding what he's trying to say and not caring much to decipher his odd morals. “okay, so you don't want to see or sleep with other people, is that right?”

he opens his mouth then closes it, before sighing, “i guess that's how it has to be.”

you think it over, it makes sense. being with other people would increase the number of people you'd have to tell your secret to. or if you don't explain, you’d have to face their judgment. “that sounds good to me.”

he looks up, mildly surprised, “you’re agreeing?” he shakes his head, “i wasn't asking you to do that. i was just telling you i wasn't going to-”

“no need, it's actually kind of smart of you. not that you were trying to be, but if we don't see other people it makes it plenty more believable.”

he shakes his head, “you're really committed to this, you know.”

you grin at him, “this is how i normally am. your dad knows this too, even said he hopes some of my drive and ambition rubs off on you.”

he chuckles, “he did not say that.”

you continue to bicker with each other for most of the remainder of the date, even debating who had the better music taste when jungkook didn't offer you the aux cord in his car.

despite all of it, you found yourself feeling rather content once you stepped inside your building. you weren't annoyed, stressed, nor angry.

you found yourself falling asleep imagining the future you were so committed to building for yourself. there are worst things i could do.

you and jungkook plan every date strategically, and they all unfold without a hinge. on your third date, you went strolling downtown. you grabbed hot chocolate and window shopped, admiring the hard work these people have put into the things they're so passionate about. jungkook wasn't interested in things like this. you knew that, but you also knew fall was coming quickly and your wardrobe needed some updating.

“that's ugly.” he comments, walking past you in the store.

you huff, re-folding the sweater and placing it down on the table before turning to face him, “when did i ask for your opinion on women's clothing?” you laugh, “not to mention, your wardrobe has all of maybe 2 colors, so any advice you give is unwarranted.”

he’s leaning against a different display table with his arms crossed over his wide chest, “if i have to be seen with you in public, it won't be in clothes that you don't look good in. that's all im saying.” he puts his hands up in surrender and continues walking through the store.

“okay then,” you follow behind him, “if you're such a fashionnova, pick out an outfit for me.”

he furrows his brows, “why would i do that.”

“if how i look is such a big deal to you, you shouldn't have a problem picking out an outfit for me.”

“no.”

“then stop talking!”

“ok.” he shrugs and wanders off. you figured he wanted to pout alone so you let him be, picking out a few new items and heading towards the check out.

with a bag in your hand you turn to see jungkook looking out the shop windows. “see a pretty girl?”

he furrows his brows and shakes his head. he does not match your amusement, and actually stays completely silent and solemn.

he takes your hand and leads you out of the store. the form of affection takes you by surprise for a second, but you already discussed ‘acting’ like a couple and told yourself this was just another part of the deal.

“where are you leading me?”

silence. “jungkook?” nothing. you sigh, “you're walking kinda fast can you slow down please?”

he leads you into a brewery on the corner of the street. this was ‘the spot’ on that road and you knew that, hence why you were saving it for last. “jungkook,” you whine, “you knew i wanted to go here last-”

“would you please stop bitching for a second?” he tells you, looking around the special liquor store with an indoor/outdoor bar.

“what are you looking for? do you want something?”

he drops your hand and looks at you, “first of all, i stopped talking because you told me to shut up.” you roll your eyes at his immaturity. “and second of all, i dragged you out of their because that guy in the brown coat?” he points to a guy at the end of the bar, helping what looks to be his date or girlfriend take a seat. “that’s kim taehyung. his dad is a major shareholder and on the board.”

you hum, “so you dragged me here for him?”

he looks at you confused, “did you… forget we’re literally dating to make good impressions on people like him?”

“well not him, per-say-”

“and he’s aiming to take over his father as well, just like me. last time i talked to him, he and his dad invited me to some tennis game but i totally forgot about it and haven't made a fantastic impression since.”

“did you ever apologize?��

he shakes his head, “no, i figured if i didn't then they might think i just forgot.”

“you did-”

“i forgot as in partying was more important.” he tells me. that makes more sense. “but that doesn't matter! because you and i are about to blow him away.”

jungkook grabs you by the waist and leads you around the store, “let's see how good your acting skills are.” he grins.

you smile as well, amused at the situation and you lean into him, “you as well.”

you walk around the store exactly like that until you’re close enough that taehyung notices you. he calls out to jungkook, who pretends to be surprised when he sees the both of them and greets them.

“this is my girlfriend, y/n.” you and taehyung shake hands and he looks to jungkook almost surprised.

“girlfriend? really?”

he nods, “i am just as surprised as you are.”

taehyung just grins widely, “it had to happen one of these days.” he looks to you, “goodluck to you.” you hold back a laugh, he doesn't have a clue.

taehyung then apologizes for not being able to invite you both to join him, “this date should be for us two, but we should totally do a double sometime!”

you’re weary of the offer and it shows on your face as you look to jungkook but he doesn't pay attention to you as he excitedly agrees. “do you still have my number?”

he nods, “i think, but last time i texted you you never replied so maybe i have the wrong one.”

jungkook chuckles and scratches the back of his neck, “yeah that sounds like me, how about you give me your number.”

they agree and exchange. this entire time you notice his date’s been staring at you so you finally look over to notice. you began to smile, hoping to have a small but pleasant interaction but she continues to stare hard and your smile drops when you recognize her.

not that you had any personal issue with her (yet) but this girl was as bad as they come. bad in your opinion, that was. you knew her because of what she did to sooyung, your best friend. minji was similar to jungkook, just minus the genuine charisma and kindness if you really looked. she had all those things sure but it was surface level and fake. whatever minji couldn't have she took. this included school, personal, and business life (cheating, swapping tests, buying and/or sleeping her way), anything besides actually working. her family was rich and you believed she never struggled to have anything. that was until her boyfriend broke up with her and found sooyung. to say that caused issues would be an understatement.

it's good to know she's moved on now, despite going to the lengths she did to break them up. you almost laugh at it all. why go through all that trouble just to break up with him again? you concluded it was a childish power move and never spent another second thinking of the pitiful girl.

until now. you also knew minji hated you for meddling in her and sooyung’s beef, but otherwise had no reason to dislike you.

so why she was ass-eyeing you right now? you're unsure.

the boys say goodbye and share a quick hug before jungkook is pulling you away from the scene.

“you are free next saturday right?” he asks.

“huh? what?” you ask, plenty out of earshot but still in the store where they could see you. “yeah, saturday works. what are we doing?”

he laughs, “were you even listening?” you shake your head, “taehyung invited us to go bowling.”

“bowling?”

“yeah.” he grins, checking out the liquor that lines the wall of the store, “i'll have you know i'm actually really good at it, otherwise i would've suggested something else.” he looks over, as if examining the couple, then turns to you and places a kiss on your head. out of habit you widen your eyes and fight the urge to hit him, “god y/n, they’re looking and you just ruined it.”

“you can’t just jumpscare me like that, god.” you grumble.

he sighs, “just kiss me.”

you sneak a glance at the couple and they’re looking lovingly at each other, “why? they’re not even looking over here.”

“just do it, and make it good to make up for what you did.” he says, determined. you decide to follow along with his request, he’s known what to do up until now, you have no reason to question him. you smile up at him as if he’s just given you the greatest compliment in the world and wrap both of your arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss.

you keep smiling even when you pull away, despite the slight hatred you still feel for him. he looks at you speechlessly, “smile, jungkook.” you grit. he nods and takes your advice.

“of course, yeah.”

you raise your brows and chuckle, continuing your admiration of the alcohol you know you can’t afford, “i know i’m a good kisser but you don’t have to stand there in awe.”

he looks at you offended and you laugh again. “yeah, sure.”

you continue looking around the store and can’t shake the feeling of someones eyes on you. you look to jungkook who’s occupied examining something else, and then to the couple at the other end of the store. sure enough, minji was still staring.

“that girl makes me uneasy.”

he looks at you with furrowed brows, “who? minji? i wouldn’t worry about her.”

“you know minji?”

he pauses, letting the arm that was reaching for a bottle fall to his side but he doesn't look at you. “i dated her for a few weeks. don't even think it was a month.”

you feel surprised but you really shouldn't be. “how long ago?”

he looks at you annoyed, “like a year ago, it's not that big of a deal. to say i dated her would be a loose term. maybe took her on two dates. we really only did one thing and then got bored.”

you connect the dots without him having to really say it. “she’s been staring daggers at me since we walked in here. and she’s got issues with sooyung, and now with you, she could be a problem, jungkook.”

he shrugs, taking a bottle he picked and examining it, “i really wouldn't worry about her. if she’s with taehyung she's got enough on her hands.” he says. “you ever had honey whiskey?”

“no, jungkook.” you sigh. upset he doesn't seem to care about the present issue.

he grins, “perfect. you want anything?”

you hum and look around. “the cherry one looked interesting.”

he spins around to find the one you’re talking about and grins, “cherry tequila? knew i pegged you right.”

you chuckle, “what are you talking about.”

he shrugs and grins with a cocky smile, “nothing, just knew you were a tequila person. it was obvious.”

“you're talking nonsense.”

“am i wrong? is that not your preferred alcohol?”

“and yours is whiskey i presume?”

he grins, “oh, i'm an everything man.”

you act sarcastically, “oh of course! i should have known.”

“but you didn't! that's how you know i know and you don't.”

he continues to babble as he pays and walks out of the store. “what exactly are you going to do with that? just add it to your little collection?”

he looks down at you for a moment, “drink it, obviously.” you follow him just as confused as before. “did you know i'm actually pretty good at making drinks?”

you hum, “no i guess not, but that wouldn't surprise me.”

“it's not hard to do but it does take some level of commitment, it's actually the perfect practice for someone like me.”

“whatever your hobbies are.” you chuckle.

he scoffs, “yeah? what are your hobbies? studying and being a bitch?”

you laugh, “yeah, actually. but also art and video games.”

he looks at you in a way you couldn't describe. “no shit?” you nod. “perfect then. you didn't have any plans for the rest of the night did you?”

you frown, “i mean i needed to study but-”

“studying waits, i have a better idea.” he looks at you excited and puts the bags you both bought in the backseat of his car, “me vs you video game tournament. you can pick the games, and i’ll supply the drinks.”

“i pick the games? don't you think that's a little unfair?”

he shakes his head, “absolutely not, you'll lose even if you picked terraria.”

“how would terraria-”

“you’d lose.”

jungkook was correct, no matter what you'd pick he would win. and it really fucking annoyed you.

“god is this what you've spent your life doing?”

he laughs, shoving popcorn in his mouth by the handful, “yeah.”

you shake your head, beyond annoyed. you were definitely a sore loser. “no wonder.”

he looks at you and grins, “what? sad that you suck? it's okay y/n you can't be good at everything.” he fakes a sympathetic pout and leans in close to you, “i told you i would win.”

by this point in the day, it’s about 8pm and jungkook has served you six different drinks. not that you finished all of them, but you’ve been served roughly that many. on top of all the ones he made for himself that he insisted you try.

you’re both sat in his living room with a controller in your hands and a drink in his. he stops whatever mocking sentence he was beginning to say to instead look at you with a smirk, “you’re blushing.”

you scowl, “my face turns red when i drink sometimes.”

he shakes his head, “your face wasn’t red until i scooted closer to you.” he leans in further and you try to back away, “you want me to kiss you y/n?” he smirks and you push his chest back.

“that is not why i’m red jungkook, get away from me.”

he sits back where he was before, albeit still much closer in proximity. “you’re lying to yourself. i get it, being as attractive as i am and us not being able to see other people.” he looks to you, “it’s bound to happen at some point.”

you shake your head, “maybe you feel that way, but i don’t need constant attention and entertainment.”

he scowls, “i do not.”

you laugh, “clearly, you do. It’s only been three weeks jungkook.”

“four.” he corrects.

you stare at him confused, “we’ve been ‘dating’ for three.” you put air quotes around the word ‘dating’.

he shakes his head, “no, like, four weeks since i’ve seen a woman other than you.”

you nod, “ah, must really be killing you.”

he sighs, “yeah, really must be hard on me if i just hit on you.”

you frown, “yeah, like you’re not attracted to me.”

he eyes you, “i make no comment on that.”

you laugh, “you don’t have to say it for me to know its true.” he scowls at you but you don’t allow him to continue the bickering. “okay, i should head home.”

he continues sitting on his couch, “its hardly even 9.”

you slip your shoes and jacket on, “yeah? i told you i had to study.” he whines childishly, “fine, whatever, be lame.”

you grin, “awe, miss me already?”

he looks at you then back towards the tv, “you’re really not as amusing as you think you are.”

“you clearly find me interesting enough to ask me to hang out when it's unrelated to our plan.”

he teases, “because you’re easy, what were you going to do? say no?”

jungkook clearly finds this amusing but you realize not only did that last comment hurt, but it was also obvious he had no idea how petty it was.

“okay then, if that’s how you see me.” you grab your stuff and open the door when he shouts out at you.

“god, wait up.” he groans, lifting himself off the couch. you tell him not to bother with taking you home. “what? why?” you try to close the door after telling him bye but he’s as stubborn as ever, “don’t close my own door on me, what's your problem?”

you sigh and just begin to walk away from his apartment, still chasing after you, being a dick. “seriously y/n, let me take you home.” he grabs onto your arm and you’re ready to punch him. jungkook pisses you off in many ways and has wronged you. for the benefit of you both, you looked past it all. in order for this plan to really work, jungkook still had to change. you knew he was a flawed man, but you didn’t think he would be this ignorant and immature.

“stop following me creep!”

he takes a step back and looks at you like you cussed him out in a different language, “what the hell are you talking about.”

“i said i was leaving, you clearly pissed me off, now you’re chasing after me? seriously jungkook get a fucking clue and leave me alone!”

he scoffs, “what am i supposed to do? just leave you to roam around at night because you can’t take a joke?”

“yes! i’m not your problem.”

“you literally are my problem.”

you look at him confused, then chuckle, “no, as it happens you are my problem. you are also your own problem. hilarious isn't it?” he begins to tell you off but your patience for his bs has thinned, “what’s even more funny jungkook? is that you know your flaws and have done absolutely nothing to work past them. you could have anything in the world, it’s all practically handed to you! all you’d have to do is put the slightest effort in to impress your dad and it's yours!” you’ve effectively silenced him as he stands before you, “and yet you still pick a route of mistrust and manipulation. i’m doing this because i have to, you're doing this because it's easier than genuinely trying."

you have so much more to say about him. he’s once never apologized for what he did to you and how he’s treated you in the past, and all the passive-aggressive taunts and jokes in between. and you never asked him to. because you knew he wouldn’t be sorry. that was just the way he was. and it sickened you to know this. you figured you could look past it, because he has some redeeming qualities, and in order for this to work you had to find them. trying to pretend to date someone you truly couldn’t stand wouldn’t work well for you, so you really did try. and yet, he continued to disappoint you with his entitlement and arrogance.

“you still think of me like that?” he chuckles, “you sound like you can’t even stand me, so why come up with this stupid plan?!” you open your mouth and he interrupts you, “you’re stupid too, you know. not only do you totally not have to do this to have a successful career, you also can’t see how hypocritical you are.”

you scoff, “don’t act like i’ve done things as desperate and terrible as you have.”

he laughs, “you haven’t? really? miss ‘will stop at nothing to get what i want’? i don’t believe you for a fucking second, y/n.”

“well i haven’t! this,” you say, pointing between the two of you, “this the worst thing i’ve ever done.”

he shakes his head, “you're a hypocrite either way. if this is the worst you've done then you clearly haven’t done everything in your power, yeah? nothing but a pretentious wannabe.”

your face is bright red and your body is aching as if you’re going to cry. you knew that was the last thing you wanted to do in front of jungkook. “just fuck-off jungkook. you clearly will never understand how you could be in the wrong, let alone apologize and be a better person. god help the miserable woman that actually falls in love with you.”

he bites his lip ring, “bet you still wish it was you, for real.”

you stare at him dumbfounded, “you really are just an ass and nothing more. what a miserable life.” he tries to talk back, no doubt something even meaner than what he’s already said, “goodbye, jungkook.” you walk away from him, only getting a few steps before shouting out, hoping he could still hear you, “can’t wait to tell your dad about this.”

weeks past and you neither heard of nor saw anything from jungkook. in the beginning, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. not like that, you tell yourself. anyone who had just been through what you had would also obsessively think over it for at least a few weeks. it wasn’t all bad though, no more jungkook meant no more plan, which also meant all the time in the world to focus on preparing for your last year in school and your new internship. which would all be good! had it not been for your obvious avoidance of your boss.

you were terrified of talking to him above all else. you were stuck in this stand-off with jungkook, and his dad, in the middle of it all. you couldn’t be sure what jungkook had told him, if anything, and if he hadn’t, you didn’t know if you were still ‘together’ or not. you simply didn’t have the answers and you were sure as hell not going to be the one that asks first.

as fate would have it, jungkook was actually having a worse time than you were.

it had been three weeks since you walked out his door and he felt an array of emotions. many of which, he had no words for. “who shat in your cheerios?”

his brother looks at him with a fake pout on his face. jungkook looks at him annoyed and unamused, and ignores him. dinner at his parents house every tuesday night was a requirement with few reasonable exceptions. tonight was no different. “you’ve had such a shitty attitude lately.” he tells him, leaning over the table. “i mean, you’re normally unpleasant, but this is new even for you.”

jungkook’s patience is wearing extremely thin and this is not helping. “is that your convoluted way of worrying about me.” he teases. “don’t worry big bro.” he reaches out to ruffle his hair, “i feel fantastic!”

his brother swats his hand away and they both lean back in their seats as their mother joins them at the table. jungkook would blow this off if he could, but he figures it's the least he could do considering the days he has to make his father proud are slowly ticking away.

he thinks you’re teasing him. and not in the sexy way. he figured he was done for in more ways than one after you left his house that night. and he also knew he couldn’t count all the things he’d done wrong to you on both of his hands. maybe even his toes. he doesn’t know for sure, he knows he’s blind to all the stupid and mean things he does due to the way he was raised. he tells himself he can’t help it and he shouldn’t have to. people will either like and accept him for him, or they won’t. that's not his problem. but he knew the difference between the hurtful things he said and you said, were that your words were true. and now he was paying the price.

you seemingly haven’t told his dad. he wasn’t sure why, exactly. you told him you would. he thought you’d sealed his fate after that night and come monday morning you would be singing the story to his father. but days passed and he still hadn’t heard anything from you or his father. he hated this.

“jungkook,” his father calls to him, his heart skips a beat each time he does, knowing one of these days will be his end, “have you heard from y/n? you are still seeing her, right?” jungkook wasn’t sure what to say. the last thing he wanted to do was both be a terrible, unfit person to run the company but also a liar if he said something that was different to what you’d tell him.

“uhm, yeah.” he says simply, indirectly causing all eyes to raise to him.

“yeah? you mean yes.” he corrects. “so, you are still seeing her?”

jungkook’s brother hops into conversation first. “oh, yeah you’re seeing that girl, must not be going well.” he shoves another spoonful of food in his mouth afterwards, nothing more needed to be said after his comment sent the rest of them into a frenzy.

“oh no jungkook, what did you do-”

“seriously son?”

“god!” he slams his fists on the table. “why do you all assume the worst of me?” the table was silent. “i didn’t even say we weren’t together, so why did you take this idiot’s joke as truth and blame me for something that didn’t even happen?” they stare at him as he finishes his outburst, “do you comprehend how unfair that is?”

his dad is the first to speak after a moment of uncomfortable silence. “that is unfair, but every time i’ve given you the benefit of the doubt, you’ve proven me wrong.”

jungkook looks up at his father. “thats not fair-”

“then what is fair?”

jungkook didn’t know how to respond. he knew what he wanted to say. fuck, he wanted to scream it. he wanted to throw a tantrum and yell at his dad for leaving his mother, for remarrying too quickly, for never caring the way a parent should. any piece of his past that he had no control over. he wanted to berate them for neglecting to fix him the same way they berate him for neglecting to fix himself. that is what he wanted to do. he wanted someone to blame. he was angry at a past he could not change. it was a hopeless venture he was doomed to lose. and in those infuriating moments at dinner, that is when it all came to light.

there was absolutely nothing he could do. he had two options: live a life of hatred and entitlement, or try to change. it sounds simple, but jungkook knew he was comfortable in the first option. that's the life he’d been living the past 10 years, and up until now, it’s worked for him. he also knew the only chance he’d have at letting go of this terrible anger and shaking the reputation he’d put upon himself, was to take a shot at number two.

he didn’t want to. but the defining reason became: if i fail, i just go back.

jungkook left dinner early that night. his family didn’t contact him. he called off from his internship. he lounged around his house doing virtually nothing for about three days before the first epiphany happened. it was listening to mr.kim’s voicemail, “hello, jungkook. hope you’re feeling well. if you could let me know asap when we can expect you back in, that would be very helpful. please, call me back.”

his first reaction: “fuck this.” followed by lazily turning onto his back, rolling around in his messy bed with a large sigh. his second thought: they’re counting on me, i have to show up. and with more motivation than necessary, he sits up, and dials the number.

jungkook found working tiring, but extremely rewarding. he had low expectations for himself. he felt like shit, felt like the work he did was shit, and like he was holding them back. when the project he was working on was not only picked up by a chief editor, but highly praised, he was beyond surprised.

“i have to say jungkook, i thought you were just following in your fathers footsteps. i was worried you didn’t have any of his talent.” the older man said, “but i have to say, i may like this even more than the work i’ve seen of your fathers.” he grins at him, “it’s a shame you’re not just another uni kid we can sign with, otherwise, you’d be hired.”

jungkook was speechless. he was sure he was red in the face and bowed much further than was necessary, but he didn't care. the old jungkook would have thought they were just saying that to get on his good side, to put them in good-standing with his family. but he knew now that wasn’t the case. he has actual talent. what he viewed as “sucking up” this whole time could very-well have been people simply trying to compliment his work.

and had he not been such a dick, he would have seen it.

jungkook spent the rest of that week and the next making a genuine effort to change the way he acts and thinks. it was hard, and exhausting, and he wasn’t sure the payoff was worth it, but he knew there was still something nagging at him.

so he thought to do the things he’d seen on tv and in movies.

he showed up to your door with flowers and chocolate.

you wanted to punch him.

“what… the hell are you doing.”

he stares at you stunned, this was not the reaction he was banking on. “t-they’re for you.”

you blink. once. twice. “why.”

he furrows his brows, “aren’t you gonna let me in?”

you match his expression, “no.”

he looks offended and you scoff. “i’m here because i’m sorry.”

you look surprised, “sorry?” you laugh, “sorry for what?”

he nods, “well, everything, really. i haven’t been nice to you if it wasn’t to serve another purpose. i-i’ve manipulated you, lied to you, raised my voice, said really mean things.” you nod to all of this, arms crossed over your chest as you stand in your doorway, still in your silk pjs because you had the day off and you weren’t banking on this.

come to think of it, how did he know you’d be home?

“and most of all, i’m sorry for not treating you like a friend, when that’s all you tried to be.”

his words interest you. “well, for starters, i appreciate the gesture.” he shakes his head quickly.

“you deserve more.”

you nod wearily, suspiciously, “and thanks for apologizing.” he looks up to you with a hopeful grin, which you crush, “but apology not accepted.”

he looks at you with wide, puppy dog eyes. you’re surprised his lip doesn’t start quivering. “y-you don’t accept it?” you shake your head. “h-how can i get you to forgive me, then?”

you laugh, “i don’t think there is a way.”

he looks like a deflated balloon, you almost feel bad. but you don’t. “so what, are we just done with this whole plan?”

you chuckle, your tongue poking the inside of your cheek as you point at him, “see? i knew you were only here for that reason-”

“no! that’s really not it! please y/n-”

“just fuck off jungkook!” you open your door and he shouts as you’re closing it.

“i’m leaving these here!” you don’t reply, but for some reason you stand on the other side of the door, listening. hoping that wasn’t it. “and i’m going to keep trying.”

you don’t notice the smallest, tiniest, smile that grows.

but you insist, you still hate jeon jungkook.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚

wowa this is definitely the most time and effort i've put into a story before so if you are ever going to support me in any way, i BEG that it be this. your interaction and support means the world to me, and it shows me that you enjoy this content which will guide me to post more or less like this, so if you like something, show it!

as always, thank u for reading (and making it this far <3) and i hope u have a wonderful day !! - ara :)

⇀ next part

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[extravaguk]

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: But above all things, the last thing you expected to happen when you came back was to show your tits and get pierced by none other than motherfucking Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook. Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

wordcount: 15k

genre: summer!au, ex high school classmaters, kinda frenemies to lovers, tattoo artist!&piercing artist!jungkook, popular!reader

rated: m (fluff - smut - angst)

warnings: you broke jungkook's heart you bitch!! , oral sex (m&f), protected sex (shocking tbh), CL as your bestie it doesnt get better than that! idk i dont wanna spoil too much

author's note: fucking finally dude!! i've been writing this since february but school was kicking my ass. now that i finished my exams and mercury is in gemini i was able to finish it. if you read this, i hope you enjoy it!

Inkphoria

You've been standing outside the shop re-reading the word for fifteen minutes, although it definitely feels like it has been longer. You're gripping the flyer too tightly, rumpling the paper in your hand until you're pretty much sure it's ruined. It's the first day of June, and it's already too hot. The sun and humid weather are causing beads of sweat to form in your hairline and your white tank top to stick to your skin. Your jean shorts didn't feel this uncomfortable a few hours ago and you're sure the heat is causing your mascara to transfer to your eyelids and lower lashline. You've never needed a slushie and a smoke this bad in forever, even if you knew the later would make your parents lose their shit.

Inkphoria

You read it again. Your brain is trying to guess what font its written in, an excuse to try to steady your heart beat until your nerves ease a little and you can finally gather the courage to step into the damn shop. You've noticed a few people passing by giving you strange looks because maybe it hasn't been fifteen minutes. Perhaps you've been unmoving like an idiot in the middle of the street for longer than you want to admit.

Chaelin's voice echoes inside your head.

'Its not that much of a big deal. It's not even that painful, trust me.'

You wish you could trust your best friend, but your best friend is also the same woman who assured you Cats was the movie of the year. Yes, not 'Cats: The Musical'. 'Cats', the movie.

'And this could be a great start to get out of your comfort zone and start living your life exactly the way you want to, not the way people expect you to. Not the way your family wants you to, not the way Adam wanted you to.'

But although her credibility could sometimes be questionable - like that time she also told you she'd tried marmite and 'honestly, it's not as bad as people make it out to be'-, you also didn't trust anybody in this world as much as you trusted her. She had always been your entire support system, the only one around you who never sugarcoated, who always treated you as an equal, who was always there for you to help you discover yourself and, at the same time, remind you of who you were.

'And it's gonna look so hot, too.'

That's it. Sticking the wrinkled flyer on your back pocket, your feet finally start moving. It doesn't take longer than three strides and you're pushing open the door.

The first thing you notice is that, thankfully, the shop is empty. The second thing you notice is the bright sky blue walls, a green undertone peaking through. Your eyes scan nervously the interior. Frames with tattoo designs and people modeling other different designs decorate the walls, some skateboards also hanging from the ceiling. A few plants in the corner, and two leather couches on either side of the room. Your scanning stops on the counter, where a girl with short, platinium hair and -what you guess is- the eighty percent of her body inked. Face included. She's been looking at you, a smirk tugging at her lips. Her tone is amused when she speaks

"Hi." she says. "You can come closer, you know? We don't bite."

Great. As if you couldn't feel more out of place, apparently you also couldn't look more out of place.

"Sorry." you gulp as you walk forward. "It's my first time doing anything like this."

She laughs this time, but it's not mean. It's not mocking, thank God, and the smile she sends you is as warm as the weather, friendly, luckily helping you calm down a bit. "A virgin, huh? JK's gonna love this." your eyes jump in surprise, but she's fast to wave her hands in front of you. "Just a joke. So, first time getting a tattoo. You have something in mind, honey?"

"Um, no. Not a tattoo. Not yet, I think." you wet your lips, regretting not reaplying chapstick before stepping inside. "A piercing."

"Oh! Cool!" she claps her hands, too excited for your own taste, pulling from under the counter a catalogue. "So, where will it be? Cartilogue? Nose? A lot of people are getting their septums pierced right now, though, so you might-"

"Nipples. Like, one of them."

Her gaze finds yours in surprise, although her face swiftly transforms again into an amiable expression. "Now, that's badass. Alright!" she skims through the pages of the catalogue until she finds the nipple piercing collection. You scratch your head before wiping your forehead sweat-free. "You can pick either barbells or hoops, although barbells heal faster and they don't move around as much. There's different kinds of metal, too. Gold or platinium. If your skin is sensitive, I recommend titanium. It's hypoallergenic and not as problematic."

The blonde keeps talking as you nod your head, a smile making its way into your face while silently thanking her for her easygoing personality. It quickly makes you feel comfortable and stupid for being so terrified of doing this.

Once you decide, settle on the cost and sign the papers, she stands up from the stool she'd been sitting on. "Ok, I'll go tell my coworker. He's been sketching tattoos all morning, it's time he gets to work!" she laughs, but suddenly your smile banishes and your throat shuts down.

"He?" your alarmed tone halts her motions and she looks back at your frightened expression.

He? A he is going to pierce your nipple? You're about to let a random stranger, a HE, see and touch one of your boobs and then pierce a needle through one of your nipples?

"Oh, baby, don't worry. I'd do it myself if I knew how to, but I only do tattoos. Most of our staff are on summer vacation so it's mostly just him and I. If you don't feel comfortable, which is totally understandable, you can wait until september when Minzy comes back and she can do it for you." It's her turn to scratch the back of her head as she adds: "but trust me, we're professionals. He's not a creep or anything like that. He's been doing this for a long time. He won't cross any boundaries."

September? You won't even be here in september. Fuck.

Sure, you could do it when you move back into the city. But this summer was supossed to be the summer. You already decided after your breakup with Adam that there would be no trace of the old you. That it was time to push yourself, to do the things that you've always wanted to do, unapologetically. To find the new you, the real you. To stop being scared.

So after going through you options for a few seconds and taking a deep breath, you make up your mind.

"It's fine. I can do it."

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"JK, sweetheart!"

Jungkook is finishing drawing a Chinese dragon when Mijoo opens the door without knocking. Again. He puts the pen down, rubbing his eyes. It's monday, a slow monday, not much work, and he had hoped it would stay that way until closing time. It's summer and Jungkook hates summer. He hates the heat, he hates being drenched in sweat, and he hates the fact that he can do nothing about it. Because working in the summer is terrible. Summer makes him lazy, makes him want to bathe in a tub full of iced water and not get out until he turns into a raisin and october comes. It makes him irritable. Summer makes him annoyed by people -like Mijoo, even if he loves her to death- and himself.

"I got a girl here who wants a nipple piercing, her first piercing by the way, so get your shit ready and bla bla bla. Straight titanium barbell. Also, don't flirt and don't be creepy. She almost ran away when I told her a male was going to be touching and piercing her tit, be mindful of that. She's too cute, if you want to get her number you should wait until it's done. I think that's it. I'll bring her in in a minute."

Mijoo leaves as fast as she talks, but Jungkook is already used to it. He's already used to the headaches her mouth causes too. He sighs before standing up, tying his too-long raven hair into the best bun he can manage. He washes his hands, sets the table up, sits on the chair and puts the gloves on. He's too busy sterilizing the jewerly when Mijoo comes back with you.

"Alright, my babies. I'll leave you to it." she turns to you. "He'll explain everything, from how the process will be to how to take care of it after it's done." she leaves before saying bye, closing the door behind her, and then he finally turns to you.

Your eyes meet and suddenly everything stops. He almost drops the sterilizing machine, his whole body tensing, going into panic mode as he recognizes you immediatly. His hands shake.

Of course he does. Of course he recognizes his high school crush. The too goody two shoes, too pretentious and too rich, too good for everybody and, most importantly, 'too good for Jeon Jungkook' girl of his high school dreams. Of course he recognizes the girl he had confessed his stupid crush to when he was sixteen. Of course he recognizes the girl who rejected and broke his young and foolish heart when he was a dumb teenager.

It doesn't matter that six years have passed ever since. He still knows every lock of your hair like the palm of his hand. He still remembers the shape of your lips and the exact shade of your eyes. He can still identify the body he fantasized about -and jacked off to- when he was a hormonal teen, now filled in all the right places. Now a grown woman.

Just one look at you after years and years of pining is enough to almost make him faint. And grow a boner under his jeans.

And by the look on your face, your eyes wide and your mouth agape, you recognize him as well.

Dammit.

He schools his features and clears his throat. Forces his body to relax and compose himself, because he's not a teenager anymore. He's also a grown man, who has matured, who now has much more experience with women than he did back then. He had already embarrased himself enough when he was sixteen to be doing it all over again. You're just another attractive girl in a sea of attractive women.

He turns to you. You still haven't said anything. Neither has he.

"Um, you can sit on the table." he manages, motioning to the set up in front of him. He watches you taking doubtful steps until you're sitting down, your eyes avoiding his gaze. He almost forgot you were here to get pierced. Holy shit, you were here to get pierced. To get your nipple pierced.

You're a professional, Jungkook. You can do this, Jungkook. You've seen boobs before, Jungkook. You've pierced nipples before, Jungkook.

Clearing his throat again and forcing his hands to stay by his side, he speaks. "The... The top." your gaze finds his, like a puppy about to get scolded. You look at your top, realization dawning on you. "You don't have to take it off. You can just pull it down."

So you do, pulling the straps of the white tank top down and dragging the fabric down with trembling fingers. No bra. Jungkook gulps as your breasts comes into vision. As perfect as he had imagined years ago. His cock twitches. Round, full, perky and so damn inviting he has to hold himself back from latching onto one nipple with his mouth around it and swirling his tongue over the nub until you're a pretty, moaning, little mess on his piercing tabl-

He closes his eyes for just a second before reminding himself to act like the 23 year old Jungkook he's tried so hard to become. The confident, assured Jungkook he is.

"Okay, this is how it'll go. First I'll clean it and scrub it to get rid of any bacteria." he's so glad he hasn't stuttered yet. 23 year old Jungkook doesn't stutter like 17 year old Jungkook. He's also glad he can pick the alcohol bottle and the surgical scrub without trembling. When he faces you again, you're watching his motions with your lip caught between your teeth. That has him swallowing the lump in his throat.

Making eye contact with him again, you take a deep breath and offer a small nod, so he gets to work. He can show you and himself he's a grown man. A grown man who can pierce a nipple without appearing like it's the first time he's seen a boob in his life. The sooner he does it, the sooner it's over.

Jungkook wets the paper towel with alcohol before carefully wiping over your nub with it. Your back arches, probably from the cold feeling, he guesses. He rubs it a few times before throwing it in the trash can nearby. He avoids looking at how enticing the soft peak is salluting him when he reaches for the marker. He doesn't say anything when he dots it with it, jaw clenched and his dick painfully stiff.

"Lay back." his voice low as he commands, turning away to get the clamp. When he slides closer, he tries to ignore the view: you, with your hair sprawled and your sweaty, shiny skin and your eyes focused on the cieling, nipple fully erect, like the star of one of his most erotic dreams. He extends his free gloved hand before he can stop himself, fingers carefully working the nub until he's sure it's painfully hard. Almost as hard as he is.

You gasp, your back arching again. He stills and looks at you, your cheeks flushed pink. Probably from the heat, he guesses again. Or at least that's what he tells himself. He can't stop himself from wondering how responsive would you be in a different setting, most likely his bed while his teeth play with your breast and his cock dives into-

"You okay?" he studies your face, your eyes not meeting his and instead still focusing on the white ceiling.

"Mhm." you reply with a small voice.

"Relax, alright? It'll be over soon." his voice is as gentle as he can, his fingers mindlessly caressing your breast to try to soothe your nerves. Or maybe it's just because he's a selfish bastard. Whatever it is, he forces himself to bring the clamp to your nipple, securing it around it.

"Take a few deep breaths. This will only take a second of pain and then it will go away." He misses the way your mouth falls open, but he doesn't miss the way your eyes squeeze tight as the needle goes in.

"Ah!" he definitely doesn't miss that either. He goes rigid for a second, because that didn't fucking sound like a cry of painfulness. It's breathy, and whiny, not too loud and, for fucks sake, if that's how you sound when you're getting fucked, he swears to God-

He feels your heartbeat under his hands when he puts the barbell in and then the bandage over it. He takes a look at you, chest moving up and down. And then you take a look at him and what he sees is almost enough to take you right there.

Reddened cheeks, drops of sweat framing your face and those eyes glazed with something he's seen too much in the women he's fucked throughout his life. They're half lidded, mascara adorning your long lashes and almost smudged, looking right through him.

"Jungkook..." and your voice, as you say his name -acknowledging him for the first time since you stepped into his shop, for the first time since you were sixteen-, it's hoarse, almost inaudible, like you just came all over his-

He's on his feet in an instant like he's been burned. "It may bleed for the first week, and it can be really sore. The swelling will eventually come down." he's quickly tidying up the table, a bottle in his hand that he hands to you without looking directly. "Wash it gently with this soap and warm water once per day. Don't touch it. Wear a comfortable...bra. If it gets crusty, clean it with saline. Not alcohol or any other thing you might clean a wound with. The soap I just gave you or saline. Nothing else."

He's pacing around the room as he takes his gloves off and throws them in the trash bin, too agressively maybe, then he keeps rambling, like he's hurriedly trying to make you leave as soon as possible. "Avoid pools and the sea. It takes about six months to a year to heal, so don't... don't touch it, don't play with it or..." he clears his throat, "don't let anyone else play with it. And if it gets infected, come back immediately and I'll take a look at it." which he honestly hopes it won't happen. When he faces you, your top is back on and you're getting off the table.

"Alright, um...I'll do that." clearing your throat, your hand gripping the doorknob. "Thank you."

But right before you can exit the room, Jungkook says your name.

"_____." when you turn around to face him, it takes a few seconds for him to make eye contact from across the room. "It was good to see you."

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"Let me see!"

It's the first thing Chaelin says when she opens the door to her appartment. It's on the second floor, small enough to compare it to most expensive appartments you'd stayed in throughout your life, but big enough for Chaelin, her cat and her -impressive- collection of acrylic nail kits and pairs of high heels. It's also big enough for her to offer you the only guest room until summer is over so you didn't have to, one, stay at your parents' place, and two, find an appartment in a short period of time for a short period of time.

When you left years ago, you did so with the thought of 'never looking back'. You never really expected to return here, of all places. Maybe visit your best friend for a weekend at most, have dinner with your parents on a saturday and then go back to the new life you'd made for yourself on a sunday.

But that was before you'd caught Adam cheating.

Tale as old as time: childhood sweethearts get engaged, move in together, son of a bitch sleeps with the assistand he told his girlfriend not to worry about, and then the brokenhearted girl packs her bags and leaves the cheating bastard begging for her to come back.

You'd be lying if you said you were surprised.

Throughout your life, you'd learned to expect many things, regardless of being sheltered and babied by your family since you were born. Watched too much Maury and Dr.Phil. Too much Gossip Girl to know what the deal with life really is.

So, thankfully, you'd only shed a few tears, mostly because your ego and self steem were slightly triggered. You'd realize long before that your feelings for Adam started to disappear once he popped the question and you said yes. Your love story began as teenagers but soon after graduating, the two of you went on different paths: you'd matured, grown into your twenties while he got stuck at 17 and never stopped acting as such.

So yeah, whatever, break ups are hard. But they're not as hard when the love is gone and the sole reason to stay with your partner is to please your parents. You were also right when you expected your mom to tell you to 'forgive and forget' because 'those things just happen, it's not a big deal, honey'.

But above all things, the last thing you expected to happen when you came back was to show your tits and get pierced by none other than motherfucking Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook. Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

The lanky nerd with braces, glasses and an anime obsession much bigger than his hentai obsession, which is saying a lot. The shy, awkward classmate who'd stuttered his undying crush for you when you were just kids. That one who you had rudely rejected like the bitch you used to be in high school.

But my God, Jeon Jungkook was anything but a kid now.

You were shocked. You were gagged. Couldn't seem to fathom what was happening and what your eyes were seeing. It took you a while to close your mouth when you realized JK was Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

With messy black hair, a smoldering gaze free of glasses, piercings adorning both ears, and his right eyebrow,, the braces long gone showing perfectly straight - but still bunny like- teeth. The clothes he wore were loose, all black, but it was impossible not to notice the muscles of his back and arms, covered with tattoos from his hands to his forearms. You'd bet there were more of them underneath the fabric.

It was awkward at first. You didn't know what to do, or what to say. Didn't know if he rememberd you. So you chose to stay quiet while your body chose to react like it had never been in the presence of an attractive young man in it's entire life.

And oh, did it react.

He was reluctant, his old timid demeanor peeking through his newly adopted persona. But as soon as those hands came in contact with your skin, your whole body was lit on fire. Like you were 16 and losing your virginity over again and it was the first time a dude touched your boobs.

There shouldn't have been anything erotic about it -besides the fact that your entire breasts were exposed-, it should've been just a professional procedure. But those gloved fingers touched and pinched and suddenly you were too aware of Jeon Jungkook and the way you were starting to sweat profously, not due to the heat of the season.

You tried to distract yourself by looking at the cieling and not at his gorgeous face. Tried to avoid thinking about Jeon Jungkook and how his mouth would feel wrapped around you. Tried not to think about the way your panties were a second skin to your folds, and how tempted you were to grind your hips until you recieved some sort of friction with the jean fabric of your shorts. You wonder if he noticed you squeezing your thighs together. You hope not.

And then the needle happened. You never thought of yourself as a particularly kinky person. Sex with Adam was boring for the most part and you'd lost your libido for a long time. Stopped thinking about sex altogether. But the pain. The pain mixed with his hand rubbing soothing circles on your breast and his voice, as sweet as honey, guiding you through it. It made you reconsider a lot of things you'd once dismissed as 'weird' or 'deviant'

You swear you almost came right on his table.

And then your eyes connected, you made the mistake of calling his name like a satisfied woman who still needed more, and it was all gone. He stood up like a scared cat, gave you a bunch of explanations about the aftercare that you barely grasped without even looking at you and pretty much rushed you to leave.

So you walked, all the way from the tattoo parlor to Chaelin's appartment, mortified, and completely humilliated.

"Are you gonna let me see or not?" your friend says expectantly as you finally sit down after chugging a glass of iced water. You sigh, placing the glass on the table before carefully pulling down your top. "Oh my God, it looks so cool!" she gasps and you can't help a smile while she studies it in amazement. "Did it hurt?"

"Um, I guess." you keep out the part where you almost orgasmed, obviously, stopping her hand from touching when she reaches towards you. "Wait, no. He said something about not touching it for like six months or a year, I don't remember."

At that, Chaelin's eyebrows quirk up. "He? It was a he? Was he cute, at least?"

"You won't believe this..." looking away for a few seconds, you take a deep breath. "It was Jeon Jungkook."

There's a pause, a silence that fills the room when Chaelin's jaw drops. "Jeon Jungkook...pierced your nipple?"

You close your eyes, bracing yourself for what you're a hundred percent sure is coming.

"Ha..." there it is. "Ha ha..." you still know there's more. "Ha ha ha..."

Chaelin laughs hysterically for about God knows how long, while you keep drinking your glass of water unfaced, your mind drifting back to Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie, his tattoos and his stupid gloved hands.

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You know he's here.

Everything was cool, you were doing alright, having a great time with your vodka sprite in hand and your cute white bikini on. Chaelin was by your side, the guys were excited to have you back and thankfully, you'd avoided most questions about Adam and they'd avoided digging too deep into the topic. You'd sunbathed the whole afternoon, kept away from the water like he'd told you and ate the Hawaiian pizza Yoongi insisted on ordering despite Namjoon's and Jimin's complaints.

It's at night, when you're a little tipsy and your cheeks are flushed, that you feel it. You'd barely noticed Taehyung disappearing to let in a new guest.

You don't see him, but you feel him.

You're sitting on the pool tile steps, legs dangling and the water baely reaching your belly to make sure it doesn't touch your very sensitive and newly pierced nipple. Your back is facing the sliding glass doors of Hoseok's house, but the moment you hear his voice, smooth but animated as he converses with Taehyung, your body wakes up immediately, back straightening, goosebumps forming on your arms and nipples tightening against the fabric of your two piece.

You don't turn around, instead opting for downing the remaining of your drink and coming to the realization that, of course, Taehyung, social butterfly who'd always got along with everybody and remained friends with most people from high school, still keeps in touch with Jungkook.

You ignore him when he enters the pool, still peering from the corner of your eyes while pretending to be engaged in Chaelin's and Jihyo's conversation. Your mind sabotages you by taking you to that day a week ago at the tattoo parlor.

To the warmth of his hand, to the few strands of hair that his small ponytail couldn't keep together, to the way his eyes focused on such an intimate part of your body, to the endless ink decorating his skin, to-

Great. Now your bottoms are wet and not due to the water.

You don't miss Chaelin supressing a laugh and her not so subtle elbowing. You glance at her in warning and try to keep calm for the next fifteen minutes until Jin proposes moving to the living room to watch a movie.

"I'm gonna stay here for a little longer, guys." you say, after clearing your throat. You needed some time to gather yourself before being in a confined space with Jungkook.

"Are you sure?" Jin stops by your side to place a hand on your shoulder as everybody starts exiting the pool. "It's Mean Girls! You love Mean Girls! You never miss a minute of Mean Girls!"

Rolling your eyes, you wave him dismissively. "I know every dialogue on Mean Girls like the back of my hand, I think I'll be alright, Jin."

When everybody finally leaves, you take a deep breath, covering your face with your hands in an attempt to get him out of your head. Damn Jeon Jungkook and his irresisitble glow up.

"You okay?"

The unexpected voice startles you, a gasp finding its way out of your mouth and causing you to jump on your seat, heartbeat erratic as you instantly recognize who it belongs to. Your hand grasps your chest as if that would do anything to protect yourself against him.

"Shit, don't do that!" you say, the words almost getting stuck in your throat as you see him approaching you, still submerged in the pool. The more he nears you, the less water depth there is and the more visible his torso comes into view. Wich was exactly what you'd been avoiding.

Because Jeon Jungkook was ripped, as you'd imagined when you first encountered him.

Broad shoulders and strong biceps and chiseled abs and veiny forearms. Drenched hair, a full sleeve of tattoos and water dripping from delicious tan skin and all just so very hard. That paired up with a loopsided smile that does nothing but make you shudder.

"Sorry." he doesn't sound apologetic at all when he says that, the smirk adorning his features telling. "You just seemed a little off." you advert your gaze when he pushes his hair back.

"I'm fine, just...just wanted to be by myself."

"Oh" Jungkook's smile disappears. "I can leave, if you want me t-"

"No!" you're not sure where that comes from and neither does he, judging by the look on his face when your eyes find his. Eyebrows raised and mouth slightly parted, he's as surprised as you and there's an awkward silence for a few seconds. "Um, you don't have to. I mean, it's not my house, you can do whatever you want." you sniff and tame your voice, trying to seem cool and collected like you didn't just practically beg him not to go.

Ironic, considering this was exactly what you had been fearing for the past thirty minutes.

And then he smiles. A knowing smile. A smile that says 'you just totally checked me out and now you don't want me to leave'. A smile that you would have never associated with Jeon Jungkook of all people years ago. A smile that makes you want to look away but still keeps you in place.

"Sure." he says, closing the space between the two of you slowly but still leaving enough distance. "So, how's it going?"

You clear your throat, head high and determined not to let this man, or any man for that matter, turn you into a trembling mess. You're still you and you're not easily shaken by the opposite sex. Or at least that's what you helplessly chant in your head.

"Everything's cool. I'm on summer vacation now," a little white lie, "so I decided to-"

"The piercing." he says, the smile never leaving his face. "I meant how's the piercing."

"The pier- right." you almost miss the step he takes forward, all too aware of his height over yours but thankful for the centimeters that being propped on the stairs added to yours. "It's-" you almost, almost miss his knee touching your knee and him slightly separating your legs with his own inch by inch. Or how your thighs open unvoluntarely to welcome him in and how you can barely find coherent words to speak. "It's doing-" or the way his smile disappears and is instead focusing his dark stare fully onto yours.

"It's doing well." you finally say in a whisper, not being able to bring yourself to be louder.

He hums. "May I see it?" Jungkook wets his lips with the tip of his tongue and the action and his voice is enough to make you nod your head, bewitched.

His movements are unhurried, his hand coming up to tentatively come in contact with the flesh of your clavicle. His fingers skim through your skin upwards, his touch is feather-like when it wraps around your throat. You pant, and he stops but he doesn't move away, his eyes still focused on yours, studying you, daring you to pull back, to tell him to back off. But just a simple touch of his and you're fully under his control. It reminds you too much of the day you got that damn piercing.

Your lips are parted and for a moment he stays just like that. His body so close to yours but not close enough, and his hand slightly gripping your neck. Your pussy clenches around nothing and you can't wrap your head around the fact that something so simple sets your entire being alive and leaves you aching.

Then, as slow as he started, his hand travels from the front of your neck to the back, pushing your hair aside to carefully untie the straps of your bikini. He breathes through his nostrils, doesn't make a sound. He seems so collected it's starting to annoy you.

Instead, your breathing is ragged when the top falls down, exposing both your breasts to him. That's when he removes his eyes from yours and his jaw clenches. Your nipples perk up under his gaze, like they remember him and the effect he had on them just a week ago. You're at least glad you're not the only one affected but he seems to be a master at keeping it under wraps.

Then, his hand moves again, leaving goosebumps on your skin as it goes south. Jungkook takes his time, so deliberate you want to scream, until he's cupping your pierced breast, keeping away from the nipple just like he'd advised you a few days prior. You can't look away from his face, from his eyes observing you like you're a full course meal and he's been starving for days. You feel drops of water falling from his hair to your thighs, his thumb caressing your skin so delicately as it faintly nears your still tender nipple. Just nearing it, never touching it.

"Beautiful." his murmur is almost imperceptible and for a moment you think you've imagined it. Your back arches on its own, breast pushed against the palm of his hand, almost like your body is begging him to come closer, to touch you more, to feel you all over. He meets your eyes briefly, gauging your reaction, before going back to your chest. Suddenly, the grip on your breast tightens, fingers ever so softly squeezing your flesh. From your throat comes a mewl, your eyes shut and your legs close around his waist.

"Jungkook, please..." you whisper when you open your eyes. He looks at you, unvertainty written all over his face, lips bruised as if he had been biting on them too hard, gaze as glassy as yours. And just like that, the spell is broken. He blinks and his expression changes completely. Lips forming a straight line and jaw tight. His hand retracts, fixing your bikini top over your breasts before tying it around your neck like it originally was. Meanwhile your eyebrows crunch in confusion. But when you're about to start asking questions, he clears his throat.

"It's healing okay." he steps back, avoiding your eyes. "I'll see you inside."

Jungkook leaves the pool like nothing happened.

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Jungkook is fiddling, fixing the position of his glasses and combing through his straight hair with shaky hands, habits he's tried so hard to get rid of in his sixteen years of existence but still finds impossible to.

He can't help it. He's always been like this: the quiet and awkward kid in class who sits in the back, a misunderstood puppy in a sea of stronger dog breeds that could eat him alive. An outcast. Too geeky for his own good. Notebokes full of Dragon Ball doodles on the margins of the pages, the shelves in his room stacked with Marvel figurines, and a closet filled with outdated clothes that he has been inheriting from his older brother.

He has never been the type to stand out, always being overlooked by people like he's invisible. He doesn't mind though. He'd much rather be ignored than getting picked on by bullies like he used to in elementary school.

He never gets invited to parties. Ever. He's a nobody who barely speaks, and when he does he either stutters or manages to embarrass himself in one way or another. He's seen the look on people's faces when they look at him. Their eyes seem to scream 'weirdo' everytime he gets acknowledged.

So obviously the only reason he was invited to this particular party had a first and last name: Kim Taehyung. The only kid in Jungkook's entire life who didn't look at him in a funny way, the only kid who took the time to entangle in a random conversation with him after class and who seemed geniune enough to make Jungkook feel comfortable.

He's not sure how it happened, since Taehyung mostly hangs out with the cool kids. But somehow it did, and now Jungkook is uncomfortably standing in a living room full of drunk teens, looking directly at you.

You, the one girl Jungkook had been pining on for God knows how long. You, who are obviously too pretty, too popular, and way out of his league. You, with your plaid skirt and your polo shirt and those legs that never seem to end. You, who are sitting with your friends in a couch, drink in hand and visibly tipsy. And yet, he doesn't think he's ever seen anyone pull of the 'drunk-rosy-cheek' look better than you.

He can hear your laugh through the music and he already thinks it sounds better than whoever is playing in the background.

"Come on, Gukkie! Her friends are leaving and she's all by herself now! It's your chance" Taehyung's obviously drunk too because it took Jungkook a while to decypher his exact words. He'd disappeared for a while and now that he's back, he's pushing Jungkook in your direction.

"This was a mistake, Taehyung." Jungkook shakes his hair and steps back, quickly glancing at the front door to prepare his escape. But his new friend's grip on his hoodie keeps him in place.

"Guk, listen. The only thing you have to do, is walk up to her, and say 'hey I think you're, like, really pretty. Just letting you know. Bye!' That's it. Jung- Dude, Guk, seriously, look at me." Taehyung grabs Jungkook's cheeks, squishing them between his hands and forceing him to face him. "You've been crushing hard on her for years, my man. We're graduating and you won't see each other again. What's the worst thing that can happen? Getting rejected?"

Jungkook's eyebrows draw together. "Um, yeah?"

"Exactly! Getting rejected is not the end of the world, bro! It just means keep trying on other girls!" Taehyung releases his hold on Jungkook's cheeks. "I just think you're going to regret not telling your crush she's your crush. Who knows? Maybe in the future you two will get married."

Jungkook snickers, muttering a 'yeah right' under his breath. Still, he can't help the smile that Taehyung's words always seem to pull out of him.

"Now," Taehyung playfully slaps Jungkook before turning him in your direction again. "Go get 'em, tiger!"

"Okay," Mijoo's voice slices through Jungkook's memories. She's sitting on Jungkook's desk, munching on her brownies and looking at her coworker expectantly. "And then what?"

He sighs, running a hand through his hair, sits back on his chair, already feeling the effects of Mijoo's baked goods. "And then I walked up to her, like a damn fool, stutter and all. And I say:" he clears his throat, making an effort to do his best teenage Gukkie impression."'Hey, _____, um, so, I think you're beautiful and I've had a crush on you since seventh grade, haha, just wanted to let you know.'"

Mijoo rolls her eyes, still chewing. "And then what?"

"And then she looked me up and down, giggled, fucking giggled, Mijoo, and said 'Who are you, again?'" Mijoo gasps and Jungkook closes his eyes, trying to force that recollecion out of his head.

"What a bitch." she can't help but laugh before apologizing. Jungkook merely shrugs his shoulders and takes another bite of his brownie. "She didn't say anything else?"

"She said something along the lines of:" he clears his throat again, this time, doing an impression of you. "'That's sweet and all but, you and I... we're not the same. And I have a boyfriend, so...' She said that like I didn't know, like I wasn't aware of the school's it couple! Like I was dumb!"

Mijoo nods. "And now you want to fuck her even more than you did in high school."

"I- No! Well, yes. Fuck, of course I want to sleep with her! But I just... can't."

"Why not?"

"Did you hear anything about what I just told you or were you too concentrated trying to get high?"

It's Mijoo's turn to roll her eyes. "I heard everything you just told me. I just don't understand what the problem is. You two were sixteen. Sure, she was a bitch about it, but Lord knows I've been a bitch my entire life and now I'm not anymore." Jungkook raises an eyebrow at that. "Okay, sometimes I can be nice. But the point is..." Mijoo finishes her piece of brownie before getting off of Jungkook's desk. "It's been, what? Nine? Ten years? People change, JK. You're the best example of that. You want to fuck her and she obviously wants to fuck you too. You're both adults." she wipes her hands on her shorts. "I think it's time you fulfill that high school fantasy of yours."

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You've made up your mind.

And by you, it means Chaelin has made up your mind.

It didn't take long to convince you though. That last interaction with Jungkook cause too many emotions stirring within you. It left you hot, it left you bothered, it left you confused. Sure, it also left you a little bit embarrassed like the first time, but above everything else, that interaction with Jungkook left you absolutely livid.

Because who the fuck did Jeon Jungkook, formerly known as Guk, Gukkie, Jungukkie, and currently known as JK, think he was to come near you, speed your heart rate's up, and then runaway like that?

You've spent days thinking about it. About that face, about that body, about those hands and- shit. You're doing it again.

You've spent days trying to push those intrusive thoughts. Spent days trying to bury what happened. You've spent days trying to keep quiet, not telling anyone about it and just wishing that stupid spark of desire simply went away.

But it has just been simply unavoidable. You haven't been able to ignore the sleepless nights with your brain drifting back to that night and forbidding your hand from slipping under your panties. Or the excessive amount of time during the day where images of him suddenly popped in your head and wouldn't go away, even with you squeezing your thighs to try to make the ache go away.

So you ended up ranting and ranting and ranting to the only person you could confide on, who is obviously your best friend. Your best friend, who's too smart for her own good and knows you too well for your liking. Because apparently your moodiness and snappy remarks couldn't go unnoticed.

And after explaining the fiasco over a bottle of wine -and minutes of endless laughing on Chaelin's part because, again, it's Gukkie you two were talking about and, according to her, this was "the most karmic thing I've ever seen"-, she gave you the best advice an older sister could ever give.

"Fuck him."

"I know right? Fuck him!"

"No. I mean, fuck him."

And now here you are. Right inside that room you stepped in weeks ago, confronting the man in question with the same confidence that has always distinguished you from others and trying to act like the fluttering inside your belly wasn't nauseauting.

"A date."

"Yes."

"You want to go on a date with me." this wouldn't be so hard if Jungkook didn't look so delectable in a plain white t-shirt and ripped jeans. You cross your arms over your chest, doing your best to not look down at the exposed skin of a man who obviously worked out a lot and apparently, never skipped leg day. "What's the catch?"

He's sitting on his chair, back resting comfortably and legs spread, narrowing his eyes at you and probably wondering why the girl at the front desk let you in without an appointment. Also, probably wondering if there was a catch to all of this.

"There's no catch. I just want to go to the fair this weekend. I'll ask Taehyung for your number and text you the date and the exact place we'll be meeting. Unless..." your quirk one of your eyebrows. "Unless you're already planning on how you'll chicken out this time."

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Of course, Jungkook says yes to going on a date with his high school crush but spends the following days overthinking every single thing.

He can't help but feel like it's kinda sketchy. What if you're planning your vendetta on him? What if you don't even show up and he ends up there looking like a damn idiot? What if you hate him and are just messing up with him? What if that incident in high school is going to repeat itself?

"If she doesn't show up, you simply move on and never speak to her again. It's that simple. She can't have that much power over you to cry about something like that." Mijoo had said that same day she let you in the tattoo parlor after you'd asked to see Jungkook. Jungkook's coworker hadn't even question you and just motioned you to Jungkook's room with a knowing smile on her face. Later that day, Jungkook had scolded her about it and she'd simply shrugged.

He considers cancelling, eyes reading the 'won't be able to make it, sorry (sad face emoji)' over and over again and fingers hovering over the send button so many times he's lost count. But then he remembers that comment of yours about him chickening out and Jungkook starts seeing red.

How couldn't you understand he's just terrified of you rejecting him one more time? Sure, Jungkook is now an adult who doesn't get butthurt over stuff like that. He's experienced too much after graduating from high school and he's a much stronger individual than his fragile self back was back then.

But something about you just makes him feel so... weak.

He still finds it impossible to concieve where he got the courage to approach you like that at Taehyung's pool, or how he brought himself to touch you for longer than a minute without coming in his pants. He'd enjoyed it too much. Allowing him to see you so exposed, just for him. He'd be so tempted to kiss you right there and then, to run his hands up and down your thighs and fully wrap your legs around him to let you known how much you'd affected him. Once you called his name, it was like he'd finally snapped out of it and backed away like he'd been burned by you. He spent the next twenty minutes trying to keep himself from pulling down his pants and jerking off in his friend's bathroom.

It's terrible. Because he feels like the teenager he used to be when you're around. Shy, insecure and overall a mess. You showing up in his life after so many years and now apparenly being interested in him seems like a dream that he's not sure he wants to keep being in or wake up from before it's too late and he falls back into that tumoltuous longing that will inevitably end up in heartbreak. His heartbreak.

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It's saturday night, he's standing by himself in the crowded fair at the spot. You're fifteen minutes late and he's already about to turn back and dip out. He feels too awkward and the nerves are eating him alive.

You're not going to show up. You're not going to show up and now he feels and looks even dumber than the time he told you he was crushing on you. You're not even going to show up and now he's going to come back home, get drunk by himself and curse your name for-

"Hey!" he turns around to the sound of your voice and sees you running towards him. "Sorry I'm late! I couldn't find my phone and spent like thirty minutes looking for it. Turns out, Sharon Stone, was taking a nap on top of it and I didn't even notice."

"Sharon Stone?"

"Chaelin's cat."

To be honest, he's too surprised to process your explanation right away. He might also be a little speechless because that sky blue sundress looks too good on your skin and your eyelashes are so long, framing your beautiful eyes, and your lips are all glossy and kisseable that it takes him a while to find his own voice.

He clears his throat. "It's alright." scratching the back of his head, he momentarely adverts his gaze from you in an attempt to not get distracted by how soft your hair looks and how much he wants to wrap it around his hands in a ponytail. "Um, where do you want to go first?"

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Almost an hour and a half later, when the sun has already disappeared and you're both surrounded by colorful lights, Jungkook decides to buy the both of you hot dogs and a drink and you both settle down on a bench.

You've been walking all over the fair, going from booth to booth, playing any game in sight Jungkook dared you to -he obviously had a competitive streak-: from the ballon and dart games, to the shooting games, to the bumping cars, to the ball-in-basket one. To say you were having fun was an understatement.

You'd almost regretted setting the date up. You were sure he wouldn't even show up and if he did, you were scared of how awkward things could get between the two of you. And if things were awkward, you were sure it would only take less than thirty minutes for the both of you to part ways and never talk again about such failure of a date.

To your surprise, none of that happened.

The conversation was flowing, both of you acting like you were strangers on their first date getting to know each other, which, to be fair, that's exactly what it felt like. There was a slight banter, teasing each other when one of you lost in whatever game you were playing while the other was obviously winning. There were laughs and a funny feeling in your tummy whenever you'd walk side by side and his arm brushed yours.

There was no stiffness on his shoulders, no mention of the past or your previous encounters, no acknowledgement of the blatant sexual tension you'd experienced before, not an ounce of avoidance whenever your eyes met his and he was even sure of himself enough to place a hand on your lower back or briefly interwine your fingers with his to guide you through the mass of people.

It felt like you'd both unspokenly agreed on making each other feel comfortable enough to have a good time.

"I didn't think you were going to show up, to be honest." you suddenly say, taking a sip of your strawberry juice and thankful to finally let your feet rest for a while.

Jungkook looks at you, hot dog mid air and eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline. "You didn't think I was going to show up? I didn't think you were going to show up." you simply shrug, lowering your gaze seepishly, the beginning of a smile on both your faces. He surprises you by tilting your head in his direction with his forefinger. You watch him watching you, a little dazed, a little lost in how his dark hair messily falls over his forehead and his equally dark eyes study your face, his thumb swiping over your lower lip. "You um... There was ketchup right there." he lies.

"Oh" you say, feeling your face heating up. "Thanks. Red doesn't really match this dress." you manage a smile and tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear.

At that, he eyes your dress for a moment, mouth slightly ajar. He's debating on whether or not to say something but you beat him to it.

"I'm sorry, by the way."

"For being late? I already told you it's fin-"

"No." you shake your head. "For... that time when we were young and I was such a concieted brat." you say, looking away , trying to find anything else that's not his pretty face. "I thought I was a queen bee back then. I was annoying and rude, specially to you. I..." you lick your lips. The cherry glittery gloss was already gone. "I thought it was cute, what you said. There was no reason for me to act like that. I know this doesn't make anything right but..." when you turn to face him again, there's still the same expression on his face. "I'm sorry."

A few seconds go by before it's him who's shaking his head. "It's okay. It was a long time ago, anyway." he smiles at you, although it doesn't reach his eyes and seems sorta forced. You sigh, and he takes your hand. "Let's go to the ferris wheel."

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tell you're tense. You're sitting right beside him in the ferris cabin, your back is all straight, you're facing forward and he believes you haven't blinked for what feels like an eternity. He thinks it has everything to do with your conversation a few minutes ago. You were probably not content with his response but what could Jungkook do? There was really no point in apologizing for something that happened years ago, but at the same time, he didn't want to hold anything against you like a resentful asshole because it was really not who he was. But there was still a little bit of stingyness inside of him and he didn't know how to make it go away.

At the end of the day, here you were, on a date with him that you'd asked for, getting along and asking questions about him and laughing at his jokes and trying to start all over again.

But then the ferris wheel starts moving, and he finally understands why you look so uncomfortable.

It's the way you immediately grip his forearm, nails digging in his skin and he swears he hears the smallest gasp forcing itself out your throat.

"Are you... scared?" he tentatively asks.

You say nothing for a while, not moving an inch. He would laugh if you didn't look so pained about it.

"I don't like small confined spaces nor rollercoasters." you finally say through gritted teeth.

"It's not really that small and ferris wheels are not rollercoasters. " your nails dig deeper and he winces. "Okay, okay. You don't like small confined spaces nor rollercoasters, and that includes ferris wheels. So why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I've never liked ferris wheels but you seemed excited about it, so..."

There's a silence after that in the environment, neither of you exactly sure of what to say or how to act. Until Jungkook moves one of his hands hands until it's resting on the one who's holding onto him for dear life, fingers caressing yours. The warmth of his hand spreads through yours and although it's almost July and you can already feel your sweaty back staining your dress, it's oddly comforting. What's more comforting even, is him twisting his body towards you and talking with the calmest and most soothing tone you've ever heard.

"Look at me." you do instantly, unwillingly, and kinda wish you hadn't. It's almost as if your body will do anything he says without question. Like he has some sort of power over it to just react however he wants. His eyes bore into yours and suddenly the cab doesn't seem so suffocating. "It's just you and me right now. We're not even on a ferris wheel." the corners of his mouth turn slowly upwards. You zone out the environment, suddenly too aware of him and how close he is and how loud the beating of your heart is to your own ears.

"Jungkook."

You swallow the knot in the back of your throat when he removes his hand from yours. It almost makes you protest, - now realizing you've losened the tight grip on his arm- , before it craddles your face, keeping you in place while bringing his body closer.

"You have to stop saying my name like that."

With his thigh touching your thigh, your whole demeanor melts. When he leans closer, and you feel his breath fanning over your lips, your eyes shut closed.

"Tell me I can-" he starts to say.

"Yes." you finish for him. He doesn't doubt on closing the distance between you two. His lips touch yours and your body shakes in excitement. It's just him lightly skimming your lips with his but it's already too much and at the same time, not enough. It has you deepening it, yourself moving closer when he kisses you again. It has you relaxing against him, the tenseness prior disappearing and making you arch your back when his tongue asks for permission.

But it's exactly then, the moment you open your lips to him, that has you losing your mind.

The sparks fly, traveling from your head to your toes and then settling on the pit of your stomach as soon as the kiss starts to turn desperate and rough. When he nibbles your lips with his teeth, it makes you mewl and whine and your nipples tight against the cotton of your dress. It makes the metal barbell to feel uncomfortable, slightly painful. And when he goes back to being messy and filthy with his tongue tangled with yours, your thighs close on their own.

He forces himself to pull his hand back and bring it down, finding the parting of yd opening them for him. "Wait," you say, your fingers wrapping around his forearm as you try to catch your breath."The ferris-" he shuts you up with another kiss.

"We're not on a ferris wheel." he reminds you, a soft whisper against your mouth. And for whatever reason, you believe him.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"He fingered you on the ferris wheel."

"Yes."

"And you came before the ride was over."

You take a small sip of wine, your eyes focusing on the TV where a rerun of the Golden Girls is playing, although, to be fair, lately you haven't been able to pay much attention to anything else but a certain brunet with doe eyes and kisseable lips. "Yes."

She hums, stealing a handful of popcorn from the bowl between your thighs.

"How long did it took? Like five minutes?"

There's a pause in which you clench your jaw, your fingers twitching around the glass in your hand, and then you answer. "Probably less."

There's another pause, and then-

"Ha...Ha ha...Ha ha ha-"

You let her laugh. It's okay. You knew you had it coming.

Chaelin knows the pillow you throw right at her face is also something she had coming.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

It's not that you're mad.

Jungkook and you had a great time on that fair date, he made you laugh, bought hot dogs and drinks for the two of you and got you off inside the cab of a ferris wheel on record time with those magical, long fingers of his. Technically, there shouldn't be anything to be angry about.

Except it's been a week and you can't stop thinking about him, about wanting more, and about those words that he left you with after the ferris wheel ride ended, when you had tried to return the favor.

'Next time, maybe.'

And there hasn't been a next time.

The thought of texting him or giving him a call to ask for another date is persistent in your mind. It remains while you do the laundry or wash the dishes, while you shower, while you eat or while you spend your days at the beach with Chaelin. There's always the incessant desire to reach out towards your phone, unlock it and dial his number to beg for more.

But you'd never been one to beg, so you resist the urge everytime that feeling starts to creep up on you and it washes over you like a wave. You silence your phone and try to concentrate on making the most out of your summer.

It's one random night, when you're tiredly dragging your feet across Chaelin's apartment's carpet, yawning and ready to succumb to a well needed slumber, that you see your phone screen's lighting up with a message.

Your heart pathetically leaps inside your chest when you read his name.

'you free on saturday?'

You wish you could say you ghosted him, ignored his text and moved on with your life until it was him who begged you for another date. But the truth is you opened it in a matter of seconds and typed 'i'm free, why?' back in a rush with trembling fingers.

So now you're on the passanger seat of his car while he sits on the driver seat, the first saturday night of July, like he's Danny Zuko and you're Sandy Olsson, watching a vintage movie in a drive-in theater which plot you don't give a shit about, even if Jungkook's date plan idea made something inside of you churn with adoration.

And the only reason why you don't give a single damn about the movie playing in front of your eyes, is because you're hot. Way too hot. And the reason and cause is none other than the boy-now-turned-man sitting on your left.

You barely exchanged words when he picked you up, just rode in silence until you got to your destination and you bet he can feel as well as you do the tension in the air.

You've surveyed him a few times from the corner of his eye, noticing him fiddling with the rings around his fingers and shifting in his seat from time to time. And if the sight of his fingers bring memories that you've tried to bury to keep yourself from lunching towards him, a brief glance at his forearms, adorned with ink drawn through his golden flesh -doing a poor job at concieling the veins running underneath- and his skin-tight jeans wrapping those muscled thighs of his is enough to have you be the one squirming in your seat.

A woman can only endure so much, and you come to that realization thirty minutes into the movie.

"I want to suck your cock." you say, a stern expression on your face as you turn your body in his direction.

Jungkook frozes as your voice slides over him. It takes him a couple seconds to look at you, shock widening his eyes and parting his lips.

"Huh?" he manages, his grip on the steering wheel turning his knuckles white.

Without separating your gaze from his, you gather your hair and tie it in a ponytail with the hair tie previously around your wrist. You don't miss the quick glance he sneaks into the curvature of your neck and the valley between your breasts.

Inching forward, closing in on him, you place one of your hands on top of his thigh, the action making his whole body tense. "____..." he whispers your name in a warning that doesn't sound convincing even in his own ears.

You smile, your eyes never wavering from his as your hand inches upwards, slowly caressing over the fabric of his jeans until you finally come across what you were looking for.

His hand flies to your wrist, stilling your movements. "____, this is not-". He starts, but his voice gets stuck inside his throat when you palm his undoubtly growing erection.

"Shh." your shaky breath fans over his cheek and you force yourself on your knees on the passanger seat in a more comortable possition to stop the trembling to reach them.

You fumble with the belt holding his pants in place, then with the button and finally with the zipper. He helps you by lifting his hips to pull his jeans and boxers to his thighs and you have to bite back a mixture between a gasp and a moan at the sight below you. You haven't even seen Jeon Jungkook naked all the way, but the mere sight of his hard cock with pre-cum glistening on his crown is probably the sexiest thing you've ever had the pleasure of appreciating.

It gets sexier when you wrap your hand around the base and his body melts in the driver seat, throwing his head back with his eyes shut. It gets even sexier when you finally lower your head, swirling your tongue over the head before finally engulfing him fully in the wet warmth of your mouth.

"Shit." his voice is tight, uneven as his hand loosely grips your ponytail, as if careful not to accidentally hurt you and break the glorious moment.

Although you wouldn't mind at all. Because the moment your hands are on him, and your tongue is on his shaft, that's the only thing you care about. Your belly is twisting, an undeniable wet spot on your panties as the fabric sticks to your folds, and the more you suck Jungkook, the more you want from him. His earthy taste is addicting and the soft little whimpers he occasionally can't prevent himself from are making you want to milk him until he can't take it no more. There's this desire within you to whorship him and his cock like you had been dreaming for the past weeks.

"This is s-so fucking h-hot." he rasps between ragged breaths, the bobbing of your head, sliding up and down his dick as your hand works the centimeters your mouth can't take is about to make him faint.

"Getting a blowjob?" you joke, your throat starting to feel sore as you kiss his leaking tip.

"N-no." he draws in a rough breath when you take him all of him again. "You giving me a blowjob... T-the f-fact that anyone c-could see us..." he darts a quick glance at your body, your ass up in the air and your dress sliding down, almost exposing you completely. "The fact that-ah! Shit..." he squeezes his eyes when he feels a glob of your spit lubricating him.

There's a sudden need to make you feel the same, to touch your skin and have you shaking the same way you have him. So one of his hands travels from your spine, to your perked ass, finally dragging the cotton of your dress to allow himself to see your thin white panties. "The fact that anyone could see you l-like this," he murmurs, regaining a little bit of control when he squeezes one of your cheeks. "letting t-them see you s-sucking my cock and..." he smirks when he feels you gasping around him, his fingers trapped between your thighs and pushing them inside your heat easily "and letting them see me fingering this pretty little pussy."

Soon after that he's cumming in your mouth while you're cumming around his fingers.

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At first, it's mostly on weekends when you see each other. Weekends of stolen kisses and soft sighs and whispering against each other's lips. Then weekends turn to week days, sitting on grass while sipping on refreshing beverages, drawing each other laughs, elbows touching as you walk around the park side by side because the both of you are too scared to interwine your fingers together.

Jungkook feels content like this: sitting on the sand with you between his thighs, admiring the sunset while nuzzing your neck and inhaling your scent every now. He likes waching you enoying your strawberry ice cream, almost forgetting the chocolate chip one already melting in his hand.

"If you were an ice cream flavor,which one would you be?" you ask him, relaxing against his chest.

"Rocky road."

"Why?"

He shrugs behind you. "Everyone likes rocky road."

You hum, playfully rolling your eyes. "What about me? Which ice cream flavor would I be?"

"Lemon sherbet, in the summer."

"Lemon sherbet? Out of all of the flavours out there, you're rocky road and I'm lemon sherbet?"

"Lemon sherbet, in the summer." he corrects.

"Okay, fine. Why?"

"You're boring and basic."

You gasp, trying to feign outrage but not being able to repress the laugh that escapes your throat. You elbow him, his laugh mixing with yours while taking the time to wrap his arms around your form, the breeze blowing your hair allowing him a spot between your neck and your shoulder. "You're boring and basic, but once you have a taste..." he presses a small kiss on your skin, causing the tiny hairs on the nape of your neck to rise. "Once you have a taste, specially on the hottest day in the middle of summer, you can't stop tasting and licking until there's no more lemon sherbet left."

You suck in on a breath when he craddles your jaw to face him. "It's been my favourite flavor since I was a kid." he kisses you immediately after, his lips swallowing the small whimper now stuck in your throat.

You close your eyes as his tongue opens your mouth, arousal blasting your insides and something much, much deeper that you fear to even name shredding your chest.

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The beginning of august comes faster then you two realize, but what you both do realize is how hard it's becoming to stay away from each other.

It's been thirty days of dates happening almost everyday, sharing high school memories and anecdotes of the time you spent away from each other. Hours of getting to know each other and opening up to each other. From failed relationships to new friendships. Of park dates walking side by side and fingers now interwined because you both realized one day that, fuck it.

It's difficult to sleep when you realize you're starting to catch serious feelings for somebody who was just supposed to be a fling. It's hard to sleep when his face, his voice and his touch and thoughts of missing him when you don't see each other start haunting you at night.

It's hard for Jungkook to focus on work when you're everything that's occupying his mind. Because he has a hundred sketches to make but he's too busy thinking about the hundred different sketches he would make of you.

It's hard not to send him a goodnight text, just like it's hard for him not to reply in a matter of seconds, almost as if he was already waiting to recieve it.

Jungkook thinks of you at night. Of how pretty and absolutely perfect you are for him. Of the taste of your lips, the way your hair feels between his fingers, or the flush on your cheeks when he makes you cum as droplets of sweat accumulate between your breasts. He thinks about your voice. He also thinks about the amount of hours left to be able to listen to it again.

But mostly he thinks about how ridiculous this situation is. Because he was stupidly crushing on you when you were only teenagers, daydreaming about a chance with you. And now his crush is long gone and he's starting to realize that he's falling, and falling fast.

You, too, think of Jungkook at night. Of his ability to bring a smile out of you, to soothe you with just a few words and filling your belly excitement, happiness and feelings you're sure you've never felt before.

Jungkook's managed to imprint himself in your dreams, and you, in his.

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Getting drunk with Jungkook is fun and messy.

It's fun because he lets loose, he stutters a lot like he used to do when he was a teenager and he makes you laugh louder than ever before. It's messy because he has no control over his hands as they explore your body, clumsily taking your clothes off as his mouth laps at the breast he's allowed to touch.

He's more forceful and dominating too, pinning your hands above your head, and commanding you to keep them right there, on the pillows of his bed. When you rebel against it, your fingers finding the hard planes of his chest, he pulls away from you and places them back where he left them. "Don't make me tie you up." he threatens, and your body shudders beneath him.

He sucks, and bites and leaves marks all over your skin, grunting in response to your moans. Creating a path of kisses from your lips to your stomach, his shoulders separating your knees, opening you up only for him. And thankfully, when you reach down to tug at the strands of hair framing his face, he lets you, because he knows you need something to hold on to the moment his tongue eats you up. He leaves his fingertrips on your thighs as he keeps you in place, not allowing you to runaway. Just forcing you to take it as he takes from you.

And when you cum, he doesn't back away. He keeps sucking, and licking and punishing you with his mouth until you're cumming over and ove again, screaming and begging for his cock.

Having Jungkook over you, both completely naked, skin to skin and only sweat in between is more than you could've ever fantazised about. He slurls your name when he puts the condom on. He would do anything to feel you raw, but he also knows he wouldn't be able to last a minute. The sight of you spread open, with your cheeks darkened by a crimson blush and your hair tangled all over his pillow is a picture he wants to keep forever.

He enters you when you call his name, your voice dripping with need. He stretches your warm and wet felsh, slowly easing himself into you at first, until he's fully inside and your bodies are completely in union. A shiver runs down Jungkook's spine when he looks at your contorted face in pleasure, your lips forming an 'O' and your pussy clenching around him.

"Oh, my God." you moan into the dark of Jungkook's room, and even then, he can clearly appreciate every curve of your body lifting off the mattress to connect with his. He lowers himself on his elbows on either side of your head, caging you in and capturing your mouth with his.

"I know, baby." he murmurs. It's hot, in the middle of August but suddenly Jungkook doesn't hate summer as much as he used to. Not with you sharing the heat with him. "It's way beyond what I could ever imagine." You nod hurriedly against his lips, your arms finding their way around his neck as he starts rocking in and out of you.

"It's too good." you cry, when he hits a particular spot that has you rolling your eyes in bliss and gripping his waist tighter with your legs against you. Your fingers thread through his hair, not bothered by the beads of sweat gathered on the nape of his neck.

"Too good..." he agrees, not missing the shiver that's shaking your own frame when he picks up his speed. "You have no idea what I would do t-to fucking feel you with n-no barriers between us," his movements become frantic as his hips slap against yours, his jaw clenched as he keeps talking, "to s-stuff you full of my c-cum over and over again until it won't stop d-dripping."

Jungkook's voice against your ear has you trembling and your orgasm nearing closer, your nails scratching down his back as his thrusts overpower your form. "Would you like that?" he asks with his voice strangled.

"Y-yes. Anything y-you want."

"You'd take all of my cum like a good cum-slut?"

You hate the fact that that's what makes you come undone. The twisting and knotting in the pit of your stomach finally snapping until you're holding on to him like you never want to let him go and he's following soon after.

Because if Guk, Gukkie, Jengukkie was not only able to make you come in less than a few minutes with his fingers or his tongue, but he was also able to make you cum instantly just by calling you a good cum-slut, that means you're fucked. Like, really, really fucked.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

There's a knot in Jungkook's stomach and a suffocating grip around his vocal chords as he caresses your skin. The sun is rising in the distance with the first rays of light entering his room through the window. Your shamphoo is intoxicating him, numbing him and enticing him to bury his nose in the tangled curls pressing against his chest. Your arm is thrown across his stomach, your breathing leavig goosebumps all over his body.

"It's too early. Go back to sleep." you mumble against his heart. He wonders if you can feel it dangerously speeding up.

"I can't." he says, voice struggling to stay balanced. "I have to tell you something."

You hum in response, sleep still interwined with your body, your arm tightening around him. You sigh in content, expecting him to elaborate.

He wets his suddenly dry lips. "I don't want this to end. In fact, ____.... I want more. Need more."

"Jungkook..." your whole body goes rigid right away, untanglling your bodies from each other and sitting up on the mattress.

"No, listen to me." he mimicks your movements, rapidly grabbing your hands to make you look at him. His eyes are expressive, a mixture of fear and hope swirling in his dark irises. "I wake up everyday, and you're the first thing I think of. I go on about my day, and I keep thinking about you, wondering what you're doing and counting down the hours until I get to see you again. I spend every night dreaming about you, and when we'e together, the only thing I can think about is how I wish I could stop time so I don't have to say bye to you the next morning. ____, I-"

"Jungkook, stop please." you shake your head, pushing away from him and in desperate need of air. You press a hand against your chest, beating back the throb of pain while the other curls in a tight fist, the feeling of your fingernails digging into your palm less painful than the ache inside your heart. "This... This wasn't supossed to happen, Jungkook." you start pacing around the room, as if trying to find an exit while avoiding his gaze. "This was just a summer fling. That's all it was, I'm supposed to come back to the city in two weeks and-"

"A summer fling?" a sardonic sneer comes out of him. "Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening again..." he mumbles to himself before rising from the bed. You stop immediately, a shiver quaking through you as his impressive frame intimidates His eyebrows are drawn together and his dark eyes are void of any prior emotion. "You're going back to the city in two weeks? And you didn't care to tell me until now, after I just spilled my guts to you?"

You eyes fill up with uncomfortable tears, reaching one arm towards him. "Jung-"

He flinches, taking one step back. "A summer fling is all I mean to you?"

"Ju- "

"Look me in the eyes, right now, and tell me that's all I mean to you. A summer fling." panic crawls up your throat. There's the need within you to confirm, to stare into his beautiful and stern eyes and tell him that, yes, that's all he is to you. But you've never been a good liar. So nothing comes out. You opt for wrapping your ams around yourself wishing they were his and lowering your eyes to the ground. "I think... I think you should leave."

Those are the last words he says to you, and the last thing you see when you turn around one more time after gathering your clothes, is his back as he looks out the window.

You allow yourself to cry the exact moment you step into Chaelin's apartment. Your friend is sitting on the couch, bowl of cereal in hand and a fresh cup of coffee sitting on the livingroom's table.

"Hey, you're early tod- Baby, what's wrong?"

"Please, don't laugh."

That morning, you lay down for hours on the couch with your head on Chaelin's lap while she softly brushes your hair as you cry, hiccup, fight through the pain in your heart and relate to her as best as you can the latest events.

She doesn't laugh at all.

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"She'll come back." Mijoo's slurred words do nothing to put Jungkook's state at ease that night. He simply shrugs, fingers clenching at his sides, frowing into his drink before gulping down the bitter taste of vodka in one shot. "Seriously, I think she's just afraid. My ex was the same."

"Comparing her to your ex is not the analogy you think it is."

"Ugh, shut up. Things didn't work with my ex because she was a bitch." Jungkook gives Mijoo a pointed look which she responds to by rolling her eyes and sipping on her rum coke. "Your girl is not a bitch. She used to be a bitch. What she did this morning was bitchy, but, like I said, she's just being a pussy. If she only wanted sex with you, she wouldn't have been doing couple stuff with you the entire summer."

"Whatever. I don't care." he lies and Mijoo knows he's lying but decides to drop the subject fo now.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"We can't keep spending our days smoking weed." Chaelin speaks over Blanche's voice on the TV.

"I know. I'm just sad."

"You have to come back and tell him how you feel."

"I know."

There's a beat of silence before your friend kicks your thigh with her feet.

"I know and I will." you mumble through red eyes and smoke clouds.

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It's September first and it doesn't feel like Jungkook's birthday at all. He's been trying to focus on his work, alternating between isolating in full hermit mode and hanging out with friends to drink away his sorrow. The days have gone by and before he could realize it, he woke up today with over twenty text messages wishing him a happy day and a throbbing hangover.

He dresses up on autopilot. First a cotton shirt, then a pair of jeans and lastly, his Nike's. He doesn't bother tying his sneakers just like he doesn't bother taking a shower. He smokes a cigarette for breakfast, the death stick making him feel nauseaus on an empty stomach. And then he goes to work.

He's been repeating the same routing for the past weeks and he's not thinking of changing it, not even on his bithday.

He spends hours drawing, tattooing and drawing some more between yawns. He ignores texts an phone calls and simply waits until the day is over to go home, go to bed and forget about the fact that you're probably on your way to the city and that he hasn't crossed your mind not even once.

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Inkphoria.

You've been standing outside the shop re-reading the word for fifteen minutes, although it definitely feels like it has been longer. You're gripping cup of ice cream as it melts down your fingers the more you wait. The shop is already empty and it's starting to darken out side, and still you're so hot. Your shorts are heavy and your tank top is sticking to your skin. You didn't even bother to put on any make, although your eyebags definitely needed some concieling and your lashes some dimension to hide the fact that you'd been crying for the last few days.

'You're crazy about him.'

Chaelin's voice echoes inside your head.

You've lost count of how many times your best friend has given your advice, or simply encouraged you to do something you've been too scared to try.

'And he's cazy about you too.'

Chaelin might be wrong about marmite and the movie Cats, but she's definitely now wrong about anything regarding your and Jungkook.

That's it. You briefly close your eyes, inhale a deep breath then release it slowly. You start walking. It doesn't take longer than three strides and you're pushing the door open.

The tattoed blonde looks up from the counter the second you come into view. She smiles at the distance between you two. "You can come closer. I won't bite."

You clear your throat, stalking closer to her. "Is he-"

"He's in the back." she replies before you can finish you question. You close your mouth, clear your throat and nod your head.

"Thanks, Mijoo." she gives you a small wink, her smile easing your nerves like she had three months ago.

She watches you disappear. She shakes he head, her smile meeting her eyes. "I told him so."

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Jungkook ignores the knock on his door at first. It's almost ten and the parlor is about to close. He just has to finish this last fucking sketch so he can grab his shit and go the fuck ho-

Knock knock.

He growls, exhasperation cursing through him. He runs a hand through his messy pile of hair, his rings tangling between the strands, making him wince in pain. "Come in." he grunts under his breath. The door opens. "Mijoo, I really have to finish-"

He stops dead in his tracks as soon as he sees you.

"Hey." you say after a moment of hesitation.

"Hey." he replies and although there's something inside, deep in his chest, shouting at him to stand up, run up to you and kiss your face while he tells you how beautiful you look right now and how happy he is to see that you're still here, he decides against it. "Listen, ____, I'm pretty busy-"

"No, you listen to me." you cut him off abruptly. He looks taken aback and is already opening his mouth to say something, but you're not having it. "Please, just... Let me talk."

Silence looms between the two of you for a while, a staring contest defying each other to back down. When you take one step inside and close the door behind you, he sighs and leans back against his chair.

You move towards him slowly, your lip caught between your lip going through your mind for the speech you'd been preparing the last few days. Your hands are sticky due to the the sugary treat liquifying in your hand. "I know there's no reason you should give me another chance after rejecting you in high school, and there's definitely no reason why you should forgive me for the way I shut you out a few weeks ago. You've been confessing your feelings to me since we were teenagers, and now it's my turn to tell you exactly how I feel about you."

"Jungkook, the truth is... I like you so much. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone. Ever. I said this was just a summer fling, and I was lying. I was lying because there's no way a simple summer fling could make me feel the way you do. There's no way a simple summer fling could make me want not just summer with you, but also fall and winter, and spring and every summer that comes next."

You hadn't realize when your eyes filling up with tears until the sight of him starts blurrying in front of you. His fingers reach yours, his thumb comforting on your skin. "____, it's okay-"

"I'm not done yet." you sniffle, gathering enough courage to continue. "I brought you a lemon sherbet because you said it was your favourite. But you also implied I was your favourite, and I want to keep being you favourite, but now it's already melted and-"

The corners of Jungkook's lips start pulling upward as he tugs you towards him, his heart loudly jumping inside his chest. "Shhh, come here."

He takes the ice cream from your hand and places it on his desk. Then he's helping you onto his lap, your head tucked under his chin and your arms wapping on their own around his neck.

He doesn't care about your sticky fingers or the wet stains of your tears in his shirt. The only thing he cares about is the fact that you're right there, letting him engulf your frame and drown in the scent and warmth he'd misses so much.

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The first day of June has Jungkook sweating and wishing for a haircut. Jungkook usually hates summer. He hates the fact that he has to shower at least twice a day, and the fact that the heat is almost unbearable to sleep in and also the fact that he's easily sunburnt.

This year, however, Jungkook likes summer a little bit more.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you have an appointment?" it's the fact that you're starting to wear those summer dresses he loves so much, and the fact that your skin glows under the sun like glitter, and also the fact that he can lick ice cream off of it whenever he desires.

"I am the appointment." your giggle is almost childlike, playing with Jungkook's heart strings. You shut the door behind you, nearing him. You also seem to always have that flush on your cheeks. Although he likes to think part of it is due to him. He doesn't say anything else as he puts his pencil down and instead turns around in the chair to have you immediately on top of his thighs.

Yeah, he also likes the path your lips trace from his cheek, to his jaw, ending at the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. It still makes his body quaver to this day.

"Let me see." he murmurs against you forhear, his hand already working on unbottoning the front of your dress.

"Mijoo hasn't left yet." you whisper back, your smile impossible to supress and the faint whimper impossible to hide when his fingers expose your breast and tug at the titanium barbell adorning the already hardened nub.

Jungkook loves knowing he was the one to do that, and also the only one to play with it. He doesn't hesitate when he dips his head. "As if we'd ever cared about that." he adds, wrapping your sole point in his mouth.

He fucks you on his studio table with your legs around his waist and his tongue playing with both your breasts, the tattoo sketches long forgotten, scattered on the floor as he whispers against your flesh something that sounds a lot like 'I love you'.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

I.R.L.📷2

Warnings: noncon sexual acts and rape, voyeurism/exhibitionism, slight stalking, masturbation, naughty talk.

This is dark!(camboy!)Andy Barber. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your guilty pleasures becomes and all too real terror.

Note: Okay, here’s the second and last part of this short little piece. Thanks for reading and the excitement. I’m sorry if I’m a bit blegh rn.

Thank you so much for your patience! And support!!

As always, if you are so inclined, please like, reblog, and comment. <3

Andy stared at the chat. He waited and waited but the green dot didn’t pop up. Maybe she was freaked out after meeting him. Or maybe she was over him. Her name hadn’t blipped up in any of his sessions in the last week and he even invited her to an impromptu private show after he got back from the café. He hoped her seeing him might nudge her but it only seemed to scare the fuck out of her.

He recalled how she nearly fell on her face running away from him. That wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. No preening or smiles, just terror and a quick escape. He didn’t understand. He was a good looking guy and she was obviously lonely. Hell, she was cute too. He was hardly disappointed.

He waited another fifteen minutes, distracting himself with the colour matching game on his phone but her status remained inactive. He scrolled through his bookmarks and clicked on her insta profile. She had commented on some DIY tutorials in the last hour but hadn’t posted. She only ever added pictures of flowers anyway; her last photo of herself was from a year ago. It was her and some guy but he could guess they were no longer together.

He was starting to get upset. She was ignoring him. He wasn’t stupid but what had he done? Their sessions were going well up until this week and he actually looked forward to them. He felt that same thrill he had when he first started his hustle.

He slammed his laptop shut and dropped his phone face down. Fuck it, he had better stuff to do.

He crossed the room and grabbed one of the boxes still stacked against the wall. He hauled it over to the empty bookshelf and flipped it open. He unpacked the books one at a time and the heavy bookend shaped like half a globe. He didn’t know why he brought all these things, he didn’t use them. He wasn’t a lawyer anymore.

He leaned against the side of the sofa and crossed his arms. He boxed up his whole life, or what was left of it, and drove halfway across the country. She couldn’t even give him a hello or her name. She could hardly look at him and she wouldn’t answer his goddamn messages.

He pushed himself straight and stormed over to his laptop. He ripped it open and clicked on the chat. Still, nothing. The invitation was scheduled for less than an hour. Well, if she wasn’t going to open it, he’d have to get it to her another way. He was done waiting on her and he was done playing with her through a screen.

He wanted the real thing and he knew she wanted it too.

📷

You were still slightly addled from your encounter at the café. After you got home and unpacked your groceries, you didn’t find your coffee again until it went cold. You dumped it and replaced it with a glass of wine. You bought the bottle a month ago, expecting to unwind and that time finally came.

You sat with the healthy dose of alcohol, almost to the brim as it darkened the full belly of the glass. You wore only a baggy Winnie the Pooh tee and panties as you lounged and flipped on the tv. 

You rarely used the front room anymore, ever since your boyfriend moved out you spent most of your time in the bedroom, exhausted and lonely. It was easier to just linger there between responsibilities.

Your dainty sips turned to greedy slurps as you turned on an episode of Project Runway and lost yourself in the competition and drama of it all. Your ex hated that show and you hadn’t watched it in years. It was time to get caught up with what would forever be your unfulfilled dream of being a designer.

By the runway, your glass was empty and the television had a soft glare as you were slightly buzzed by the high potency. The dark blend had a percentage in the double digits and you were feeling it, delightfully so. As the designers came up for their feedback from judges, more so a roast, you leaned back and wiggled your hips as you stretched. You yawned and closed your eyes as you listened to a designer give cutting critique of a hem.

You peeked under your lashes as the camera panned in on the fraying stitches. Well, it looked alright from far away. You bent your arm under your head as you turned onto your side and your eyes closed again as you pondered another glass of wine. That might give you a decent night’s sleep.

You inhaled and sat up, intent on another indulgence but you stopped short as you blinked in shock. You hadn’t drank that much. You couldn’t be hallucinating. You pressed yourself to the back of the couch and shook your head as you gaped at the figure stood just beside the tv, eyes calmly watching you.

“What…” you gulped.

“Shhhh,” the man, the one you watched all those nights on your laptop, brought his finger to his lips as he hushed you, “it’s okay, honey.”

“I--” your heart leapt into your throat and you stood as you swiped up your glass, “get out. How did--”

“I sent you an invitation. Several this week. You haven’t answered--”

You hit the glass off the table so it cracked and left a jagged edge. You jabbed it out at him from the other side of the coffee table, your hand shaking as the shock turned to a jolt of adrenaline.

“Go! Get out!” you snapped, too terrified to think on how he found you or if your meeting that day was truly a coincidence. It didn’t seem like it, “you’re crazy, get out of my--”

He marched around the table as you backed up and swung the glass at him. He caught your wrist and twisted it as he wrenched you close to him and pointed the sharp edge at your throat. The scent of him filled your lungs and mingled with the taste of wine as the glass pressed to your skin.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he warned, “so don’t make me.”

“Please--”

He said your name, calmly, as you drowned in his oceanic eyes. You quivered in his grasp and tensed as you tried to lean away from him, “Andy,” he offered, “that’s my real name.”

“Please, I don’t know what you want--”

“You know exactly what I want,” he hissed as he pulled away the glass and tossed it to shatter against the wall, “the same thing I always wanted… that you want.”

You took a deep breath and he clapped his hand over your mouth and tutted. His brows wrinkled in irritation and your drunken fingers bounced futilely off his shoulder. He turned you and sat you down on the couch and knelt with you, shushing you again as he settled on his knees on the floor.

“Honey, aren’t you tired of this? Of being apart? Of just… watching?” his eyes strayed from yours and he smiled as he eyed the yellow bear on your shirt, “that’s cute.”

You shook your head and murmured against his hand. His lashes flicked up and his jaw squared. His lips thinned as he considered you.

“Thing is, honey, I’d love to talk but you gotta promise not to scream,” he said, “and I mean that because I don’t want to gag you… not yet, anyway.”

Your eyes rounded and you nodded fervently as your breath puffed under his palm. He narrowed his eyes and shifted his hand slightly, moving it just an inch at a time as he watched you. You sniffled as he let his grip fall to your knee.

“Why? How…” you stuttered, “it was a mistake. Just a show--”

“You were always there,” he said as his other hand came up to your other knee and he ran his hands up and down your legs, “it didn’t sound like a mistake.” He pushed his fingers along the top of your thighs, “you enjoyed it.”

“It wasn’t… like that, just…”

He squeezed your thighs painfully and you winced. His fingers crawled up under the hem of your tee to the elastic of your panties and he hooked them beneath the fabric. You grasped his wrists in shock at his sudden movement and he looked you in the face.

“Say whatever you want, make your excuses,” he snarled, “you said you wanted me, you said it a dozen times, and I know you do.”

He tore down the cotton and you flailed out and caught yourself against the back of the couch. He rolled your panties down and untangled them from your ankles as you tried to close your legs. He kept your panties around his wrist as he stopped your knees from meeting and moved between them.

“Honey, now, I think we’ve had enough build up--”

“Hel--” you screamed and he grabbed your chin and snapped your mouth shut so that you bit your tongue.

He growled and shook your panties down over his hand. He brought up the twisted fabric and shoved it into your mouth. You tried to turn away from his grip as he stuffed the panties in with two fingers as deep as they would go and you almost gagged.

“It’s too bad,” he said, “I wanted to try that mouth… next time.”

You batted at his arms and chest and his hand shot to your throat. You stilled as he choked you, just enough for lungs to burn. He kept his hand on your neck until you sat back and he let it trail down the front of your shirt. He groped you through the fabric, rolling his thumb around your nipples as they hardened.

“I know you can be good, honey,” he hummed, “you’re just… nervous. I know what it’s like, trying to get over someone else. Trying to move on from a life you built-- a break-up, right? That lanky guy on your Insta--”

You gave a terrified flutter of your lashes and he smiled, a tight-lipped sympathetic gesture.

“Look, we’re two lonely people,” he kneaded your chest as he spoke and leaned in, “so, it only makes sense, and I promise, honey, the shows are over. It’s all for you now.”

You trembled as he dropped his hands and pulled up your shirt. He tickled your stomach with his knuckles and framed your tits with his hands as he admired them. You squirmed as he flicked them with his thumbs and leaned into you. He took one in his mouth and suckled. You whimpered as you felt a pluck in your core.

He parted with a pop and licked his lips, “I never… it was always hard to think of what you’d look like but I couldn’t picture anyone so perfect.”

Your nails dug into the couch cushions as you tried not to flinch. The glimmer of delight turned to disgust as you watched this stranger fondle you and he sealed his lips around your other nipple. You bit down on the cotton and moaned. You were so pathetic. It was your stupid moments of lonely desperation that brought you to this, that brought him to you.

His large hands spread along your sides and he pressed his fingertips into you sharply as he toyed with your nipples. He grazed his teeth along each bud and pulled back to look at you again. You grasped his shoulders as you begged him with your eyes and shook your head.

“I… always wanted to do this in the bedroom,” he said, “that’s where you usually are, huh? Touching yourself for me all alone in the dark--”

You hung your head in defeat and he pulled you forward on the cushion. He lifted you onto your feet and spun you around in the space between him and the couch. He put one hand on your hip and the other on the back of your neck and walked you around the sofa. He paced slowly behind you as he urged you down the hall and paused to peer through your bedroom door.

“Here we are,” he said as he angled you through the door. You reached up as your jaw ached around the wad of fabric and he caught your hand and yanked it down, “I didn’t say you could do that.”

You dropped your arm and he let you go. He pressed his body to your back as he nudged you closer to the bed and stopped you right before it. He bunched your shirt in his hands and tugged it up until you raised your arms. He swiped it over your head and let it crumple beside your feet.

“Go on, sit nice and pretty for me,” he tapped your ass lightly.

Naked, you shivered as you stepped away from him and got onto the bed. You turned as you bent your legs over the edge and lowered your chin. You hugged yourself as he stood watching you with his hands on his belt.

“Don’t you worry, it’s still a show,” he said as his hands slid over to his buckle. 

He winked and ran his fingers up the front of his jacket and pulled it off. He draped it over the folding stool by your bookshelf and bent each leg to tug off his shoes. His socks followed shortly after and he squared his shoulders before he scooped his shirt up and off. He returned to his buckle and tilted his head at you.

“Look at me, honey,” he said as you stared at the pile of clothing, “we both know you love to watch.”

You raised your eyes to him and clamped your hands around your shoulders, arms crossed over your chest. He grinned and unbuckled his belt, his zipper gliding down smoothly beneath his fingers.

“You got me hard as fuck,” he said, “I didn’t like that earlier, you know? The way you ran from me.”

You just sat and tried to swallow the hopeless acceptance. He pushed down his pants and stepped out of them, his arousal bulging against his boxers. Your fingernails cut into your skin as you curled your fingers.

“You’ve been so good to me, honey,” he continued as he rolled down his boxers, “you know, I only want to return the favour. I came all this way just to get close so that--” he paused as his dick sprang up before him and he kicked away his underwear, “I can take care of you now.”

He gripped himself and stroked his length with a hum. His stomach tensed and the lines of his muscles deepened as he groaned and played with himself as he would before the camera. You were mortified as you watched him helplessly and he got closer and closer.

“Now you get the live show, honey,” he reached out and took your hand, closing it around his dick as he guided it up and down.

He moaned and hung his head back as he used both your hands on his shaft. He shuddered and leaned into your grasp. You listened to his pants as they grew quicker and quicker and he stopped you abruptly. You looked down at the glistening pre-cum as it leaked from his tip and he trailed his thumb through it as he let you go.

You flinched as he moved towards you suddenly and grabbed your hips. He lifted you and dropped you onto your back. He took your ankles and placed them against his shoulders as he stretched your legs up his torso. His cock slid along your cunt and hovered over your folds.

“Fuck, I can’t wait any longer,” he bit his lips and looked between your legs as he let go of one leg and reached down to guide himself between your lips, “oh, honey, your so sexy.”

He pushed apart your cunt with two fingers and slid in between his knuckles. He gasped as you stretched around him and you pushed your head back and whined around the fabric in your mouth. You whimpered as he drew back just a little and pushed in deeper. He rocked his hips, getting further each time as your walls strained around him.

He tilted you against him so that he reached his limit and slid his thumb along your bud. He swirled around your clit as he carried a slow motion, gliding in and out of you as you slicked around him. The tingle of his touch crept like tendrils beneath your flesh and made you clench around his dick.

He groaned and sped up, just a little as he played with you, pressing more firmly on your clit until your hand shot down over his. You didn’t move him away, only gripped his wrist as he toyed with you, fucking you deliberately as the sensation melded into a maelstrom. The twisting spring inside of you compressed and released suddenly in a ripple of sheer delight.

You groaned and bent your legs against him, raising your pelvis higher so he dipped even deeper. Your eyes rolled back and you ripped the panties from your mouth in your ecstatic trance. You balled them in your hand and writhed on his dick. 

He grasped your hips and dragged your ass over the edge of the bed and rammed into you. You cried out and he did it again. It was as if he lost all control as his pelvis slapped against you loudly and his voice rumbled through the room. You gulped and gasped as he pressed the heel of his hand to your clit and rubbed harder, his fingers stabbing sharply against your flesh.

His other hand snaked up to pinch your nipple and cup your tit. He braced you as he bent over you and fucked you furiously. He stepped up onto the edge of the bed frame as he curled your body beneath his and brought both his hands up beside your head as he held himself over you.

He plunged down into you over and over and he huffed as he watched the joining of your bodies. He growled and pulled out of you suddenly, bending your legs up as you were contorted further. He grabbed your hand again and trapped it around his dick, moving it quickly as he muttered.

He came in thick ropes onto your chest and down the folds of your stomach as you were in almost a C beneath him, his knees around your thighs. You shook and lifted his chin as he snarled and kept your hand moving, still cumming over you. He tore your grasp from him as he grew over sensitive and hung his head as he quivered.

“Shit,” he swore as he backed off of you and stood, leaning on the bed to steady himself. Your legs fell over the edge and his cum cooled across your skin, “you look good like that, honey.”

He stepped closer and pushed his fingers through the mess. You shivered and stopped his hand as you slowly returned to reality. You lifted yourself on one elbow and batted your lashes in confusion.

“How did you even find me?” you uttered.

“Doesn’t matter how,” he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to sit up gruffly, “only that I did.”