#I still think that the disregard for hyunwoo's feelings

[sunlightnmoonshine]

I think there's a mistaken perception that is still circling about hyunwoo and his reaction to haein dying and I still see ppl use this as a reason to say eunseong is better for her (if you think this, you need to visit a doctor :)) but my perception of that scene was hyunwoo was happy he could get away from haein without having to suffer through a divorce especially because up until that moment in the entirety of ep 1, she was awful to hyunwoo to his face and like he tells the psychiatrist he hated everything about the family and he hated haein too a lot at that point.

Of course, it is still awful that he was fine with her dying but that's literally the point of the story, that when people fall out of love things turn so bitter, you don't care if they are out of your life or how, and you just want them gone but that when you are forced to reassess and stop and think you realise you may not want that reality because you still love that person and want the best for them.

Also this is a key part of hyunwoo's character growth but also a means of reflecting how he truly feels deep down because since that moment no matter how hard he tried not to care he genuinely kept caring for her because he wanted her to be okay and he didn't realise that his actions were genuine and coming from a place of concern. He also has taken ownership since for being okay with her dying and frankly has paid the price for it quite a lot so far and it's clear that if given the chance he'd live his life trying to make it up to her.

Anyway baekhong for the win, I love shows that add layers to characters and their relationships and know the meaning of adding gray areas and character flaws, that is what you call realism.

[10underoot2]

Episode 5 - Deeper Look

Hyun woo's journey till Episode 5 is finding love again. He had forgotten so much of what made him fall in love, who Haein was. He'd forgotten what made the marriage bearable. Who created that chasm between them? Who refused to accept help as he cried himself to sleep.

Hynwoo's the obvious victim of a vicious marriage but I think the real victim is Haein. Hyunwoo forgot that he loved Hae in. For him the hardship fell on him alone and it made him forget the women he loved was going through equal amounts of pain by losing their child. Feeling only he was being wronged, not scratching Hae in's surface deeper he grew apart. The family, the tears, the burden all came because he didn't have Hae in smiling at him at the end of the day. Hae in didn't change, Hyun woo did.

Hae in whilst collosal at showing it loved him and their unborn child very deeply. She never considers divorce because she never stopped loving him. I'm sure over the years she gathered crumbs of his love and those were enough for her because she knew he cared. And that was enough for her to continue her love in the same way she always had. Hyunwoo realises he loved her when he pretends to care again. He begins to realize again 'oh she's so pretty, oh she makes my heart pound still'.... And it scares him. When he runs away from kissing her in his room in the village he's not scared of her he's scared of the depth his own feelings. He'd never stoped loving her he'd just forgotten how and how much he actually did.

Hae in thinks he's afraid of her, then thinks no, he just doesn't care so the next morning she tries her best to let him know through her words (not her strangest medium mind) that she doesn't care either. She's heard his disregard for her and she's starting to think maybe she's wrong about his love for her. Her doubt's are winning. But then there in the rain she sees him holding an umbrella over her - half drenched in rain himself - and she doesn't understand. He loves her, she knows he does so why won't he love her? It's so confusing. He's selfless in love and for Haein actions have always spoken louder so why didn't he come closer last night?

For Hyunwoo though, words have always spoken louder. He's the one who hears first and notices actions second. For Hyun woo the it moment is when he hears her real thoughts in an interview she gave months ago (before she knew she was dying, when he was seriously considering divorce knowing that nothing could save his marriage). She said she wanted to talk, eat, walk and chat with him *everyday day*. He rewatched it because he couldn't believe it. She's never said it to him. It's been a long time since he's seen/heard her that soft. But they live together so why haven't they been doing all this? And it still doesn't hit him why until he gets to Germany.

Hae in was angry with him, thinking he didn't care as much when she left. She had sensed doubt and she wasn't going to string him along for anything. So dejected when she's at the palace she's essentially there because she's missing him and the time they were really, truly in love. When she was confident he loved her.

And what better way for him to start than to show her he cares. He knew her enough to realize she would not have worn comfortable shoes and brings the shoes to her, all the way from Korea.

When she says they're luring in tourist by saying you'll have no worries and tears he's quick to tell her that's exactly what she did to him. He proceeds to tell her 'now that we are married I should be there for you, especially in times like this.' The way he says it it's like a plea.

Translation: Please let me be there for you.

But her response is the light bulb he's been missing all along.

'Did I ever ask you not to be by my side? I wanted you to be by my side. I never wanted to be alone, ever.'

Translation: You don't need my permission. You misinterpreted my silence. You were always supposed to be by my side.

It's so accusatory in the saddest way possible that it hurts.

Hyunwoo left her alone when she needed him. When they both needed each other. She never pushed him away she just couldn't talk about her emotions but his _action_ (to move out of the bedroom) made all the difference in her perception of them. He realizes in that moment this is beyond just her illness, this is about their loss 2 years ago. And it's painful for him to realize that the reason he's been unhappy has essentially been himself all along. He told himself he couldn't love her. He thought her cruel. And he separated the most intimate space they shared. The single tears falling from both of them is them reliving the collective pain of the loss of their unborn child. They realise what happened. How they messed up. Hyun woo's sorry is truly genuine and deep. You can feel the weight of it being too much for him. Was he maybe also thinking about the actions he's made since episode 1 as well?

Hae in's love shines the most brightly in her words next. She's essentially telling him I think I've realized you're my miraculous way to live. You're the place that has no sadness for me. You're my home. 'Let's go home' has never been more literal. And this is when Hyunwoo really realizes ah this is how she used to express it. I see it - her love. It's been right here all along and now I'm being subjected to it again. And he can't hold it back any longer. He hugs her, let's his tears of pain and shame fall.

Their emotions during the hug are so telling. For Hyunwoo it's so much of oh God what have I done. I love her how did I mess up so badly? And for Haeina it's just relief. She has him back. The Hyunwoo who promised to be by her side, who loved her: he's right there. He's in her arms embracing her.

And then as soon as he can goes in to close the deed he had hesitated in just a few nights before. His heart now allowed to love Hae in again. His mind now able to comprehend her love for him.

And essentially I think this is why the divorce sucker punched Haein so bad. If her disregard was betrayal for Hyunwoo, this paper was it for her.

[luna-rainbow]

Episode 14 was quieter and slower, but it was kind of nice to give Dojun time to grieve. Last episode we saw his shock when he saw Yangchul on the ground, and his explosive anger when Mason queried why Yangchul didn't leave him any inheritance. This time he's finally allowed to cry. It's such a stark contrast to his first real meeting with Yangchul, and the old man scoffed at their entire family saying "I only have two sons". Dojun didn't set out, necessarily, to be loved by Yangchul, but he did get the man's love, and I think he really yearned for that love, and seeing acknowledgement of that meant a lot to Dojun. He despised the man for his scorn of the poor, his disregard for people's livelihoods, his obsession with money, but he admired the man's tenacity and nerve and charisma, and I think he really appreciated the moments of tenderness Yangchul gave him.

Is it not also ironic? That his real father was a man so taken by sentiment that he didn't care for money, and the direct result of that was Hyunwoo having to pick up the pieces and work multiple jobs to pay off the debt. While Yangchul is a man so taken by money and dismissive of sentiment, but he's provided comfort and prestige to his offsprings without giving them the capacity for empathy. Which one is more neglectful? Which one loved better?

The little show with Lee Hangjae is very interesting. "I am destined to ever only be the second master, but at least I can choose the way I serve my master." Along with Yangchul's little rant about Dojun needs to be ruthless in order to take over and protect Soonyang, and Hangjae's quiet little jibe, "Do you think if it was [Yangchul], he would have chosen to delete his videos?" I feel like Hangjae's entire performance was in line with what Yangchul wanted, rather than wanting a piece of cake for himself. By removing Dojun from that group, he will then be forced to use ruthless methods to get what he wants. And certainly, if there had been any doubt in Hangjae as to who he should choose as his new master, Seongjun's treatment of him should make it quite clear.

Finally, finally I've been saying (to my parents XDD) that Yangchul will leave him the Micro Project!! I'm seriously hoping the Micro Project will have enough dirt in it to bring down the family, and it would be poetic that Yangchul leaves Dojun with the key that helps him bring down the family, and would certainly suit Yangchul's final message about ruthlessness.

I'm a bit apprehensive about the fact there's only 2 episodes remaining because there seems like a LOT of loose threads left to tie up. I appreciate the moments of humanity in the last few episodes, but it was at the price of slowing down the plot. It's still not clear what Dojun's goals are after buying Soonyang. Does he want to turn it into a truly ethical company like the banner in his grandfather's place says? Or does he just want to stand at the top of the world? And I think his motivation will define the entire meaning of the show.

[prettywordsyouleft]

A Role To Play

Pairing: Yoo Kihyun x reader

Genre: neighbours to lovers au / fluff

Warning: the beginning to this story is of being chased which can be triggering to some.

A/N: The other night I woke up from having this as a nightmare. I couldn’t shake it off, and was so grateful even if it was a dream to be saved. I couldn’t fall back asleep so at 4am I started writing this story on my phone. Of course, I had to make it fluffy too! I hope you enjoy it!

Word count: 2201

“Oops, Mummy got into the wrong elevator just now,” you said with a chuckle, though your voice was tight and your laugh was hollow. Thankfully, your daughter didn't miss a beat in scolding you playfully, seemingly unaware of the panic building within your chest.

You didn't look back at the man who had followed you in, nor did you make a move to get away from him. Although you were frightened, you had to do your best to remain as calm as you could for your daughter's sake. You hoisted her higher in your arms, closer, protecting.

And then you watched as the numbers painstakingly went down, praying for some kind of miracle that the reason the man had journeyed with you now on two elevator shafts wasn't for the sinister reason you were feeling in your chest. You hoped that he had just forgotten to push for his own floor.

Yet, you knew just as much as the man could tell you were uncomfortable by his continued presence, that the air around him seemed smug, predatory. He was following you intentionally.

When the floor to the underground car park finally dinged open, you thought quickly about travelling back up. Back to the mall, where faces of other strangers in numbers would relax you more than right now. At the time, you were only thinking of your escape when you dashed in here, to get to your car and drive away to safety. Your daughter has spurred you forward, and for her sake, you stepped out onto the floor, hoping your pace didn't show the man you were scared. You couldn't help but retreat with haste now and when someone else stepped in front of you, you suddenly felt the full encompassing of cold dread. Did he have an accomplice he had railroaded you into?

Glancing up, the face of this person felt familiar. He was instant with the way he scanned you quietly, a smile breaking out over his lips just as quickly. “Oh, here you finally are! I thought you were never going to come out. Did you have fun shopping?”

You stared at him, dumbfounded by what he had to say. Your daughter though spoke up immediately, her toddler hands stretching out towards him. “Daddy!”

“Yes, baby-girl? Did you have fun with Mummy?”

You didn’t understand how you could let go of her, yet you allowed the man in front of you to take your daughter and once she was out of your arms, you felt extremely exhausted. His arm that went around you was firm, reassuring.

You felt the avid attention of the man behind you watching the scene unfold back off in his presence.

“Babe, are you okay? Did this little one wear you out? Let's get you back to the car, hm?”

You looked up at the young man beside you, his prompting bringing you out of your stupor. You managed to nod, even smiled weakly before directing everyone towards where the car was parked. Trying not to focus on the fact that the man who had followed you still watched on from afar, you opened the doors and let the assisting stranger place your daughter in her car seat, listening on to their conversation that sounded far too normal for your panicked state. Even at three, had your daughter picked up on your emotions and relaxed into playing a role herself? You couldn't understand the situation fast enough and before you could hop into the driver's side, you felt the keys being taken out of your hand. You gripped on at the last second.

“Babe, you look exhausted. Let me.”

You stared again, his eyes taking you in, pleading with you to release them and follow his instructions. You wished you knew his name, or that your voice could merrily join in with the conversation he was upholding. You knew him though; he lived in your apartment block. Realising this, you finally let go, allowing your neighbour to help you around to the passenger side before climbing into the car himself and pulling away from the underground parking lot.

It was quiet in the car until daylight broke from escaping the nightmare and you took a deep, shaky breath. Your saviour looked over at you, concerned. “Do you need me to take you to a hospital?”

“No, I am fine.” You shifted to look into the back to ask your daughter if she was okay, but you noticed her head had rolled to the side and she was already drifting off to sleep. You turned back to the driver. “Thank you.”

“Hey, I am just relieved I was in the right place at the right time. You are safe now, okay.”

You nodded, letting out another shaky breath. And then you snapped your focus back to him. “Oh, were you going somewhere? I have interrupted your day and your car-”

“I can go back for it later, don't worry. Getting you home and feeling safe again is more important.” He glanced at you briefly, sending you a comforting smile that made you relax further. He then chuckled. “You know, we have lived on the same floor for over a year and I have never introduced myself. I'm Kihyun.”

“Y/N.”

“It's nice to have a name to the face, neighbour.”

You knew Kihyun was making conversation to fill in the ride. To give you things to think about other than the ordeal. He talked and you mostly listened, and by the time you were pulling up at your apartment block, you had almost managed to squash all thoughts of the scary man who had Kihyun stepped around you, picking her up instead. He gave you another reassuring smile as he rearranged the toddler in his arms, and you returned one back at him, shutting the door and the nightmare behind you. Once out of the elevator and onto your floor, you both walked down to your front door, Kihyun allowing you to open it before handing your daughter over.

“If you need me for anything, Y/N, just let me know.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

He shook his head, disregarding the important role he just played. Kihyun grinned. “What are neighbours for?”

“Right.” You exchanged a smile and then hesitated to step inside. Turning back to him, a shiver ran down your spine. “Should... I have reported him?”

“I already alerted mall security before starting the car. I happen to know one of the guys on the team. Hyunwoo will sort it. I took a photo of him as well, so don't worry about it. You're safe, Y/N.”

You blinked back your tears, overwhelmed with gratitude. It dawned on you with the weight of your child just how fortunate you both were that it ended this way. You didn't want to consider what would have happened had Kihyun not been there. His hand suddenly reached out to squeeze your shoulder, a nonverbal way of reminding you that you were safe.

“Go in and get some rest, hm? She can't be all that light to hold.”

You laughed, nodding your head slowly before fare-welling Kihyun, stepping inside your apartment and breathing in your first deep breath. You were safe now.

You weren't quite sure on how to show thanks for Kihyun’s efforts. A week had passed since the mall incident and you realised now with each passing day just how rude you had been. You replayed that final scene on your doorstep regularly, encouraging your past self to have invited the man inside. To offer him something for his efforts. Some days, you wished you had exchanged phone numbers so you could text him about meeting up to say thanks. You had even gone as far as to bake a cake for him, yet you weren't quite so sure which of the nine other apartments on your floor that he lived in since you normally met in the hallway waiting for the elevator. Sure, you could have gone door knocking, yet you hesitated every time to pluck up enough courage to head out and do so.

You decided that being a single mother and living alone with your daughter had made you more of a homebody and distant from the outside world more than you had realised. Vowing to get outside more, you stepped into the elevator with your daughter to go to the park, her excitement bouncing around the elevator shaft. When the doors opened and you stepped out, you stopped short when you saw who was waiting on the other side.

“Daddy!”

“Hey, baby-girl!” Kihyun greeted instantly, your daughter flinging herself at the man. He picked her up and smiled brightly at her. “Where are you off to?”

“The park, wanna come play?!”

“Oh, Kihyun-”

“I can come if it’s okay with Mummy?”

You nodded when he glanced at you for approval, your daughter squealing with delight. Once settled in at the nearby park, you both played with her until she made friends with a couple of children also using the playground equipment and went to sit down on a bench close to her.

“Thank you,” you said and Kihyun chuckled, shaking his head as if it were no problem. “I'm sorry she keeps calling you Daddy. She has never done that before. Actually, she's never brought up the word Daddy until now. It must be a burden to you since you are probably not at the age yet to want to be called that.”

“It doesn't bother me at all. I think she's cute.”

You laughed, nodding as you looked over at your daughter playing. “She has her moments.”

“I am sorry I didn't come and check on you sooner. I had to go home to stay with my parents for the past couple of days. Have you been alright?”

That explained why you hadn't seen him. A wry smile crossed your lips at his explanation and you glanced up, nodding again. Kihyun seemed relieved. He rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s ironic that I bumped into you actually. I was planning on stopping at your door to see if you were home. I did that last night as soon as I got back from my parents. Stop outside your door, I mean. But it was late and I worried it would seem foolish of me to do so.”

“You are welcome over any time,” you told him and he smiled shyly. It was interesting, when you needed him the most, he had been strong, a protector. Now out in this playground, Kihyun seemed bashful, more hesitant that he had ever been around you. Deciding to let him know your own endeavours, you explained how you had wanted to reach out to him, and even about the cake sitting in the pantry back at home.

His eyes widened and he pulled out his phone, handing it to you so you could exchange numbers. "You really baked a cake?"

"I didn't know what to do to say thanks," you admitted, punching in your contacts and saving it to his phone. You handed the device back and realised Kihyun was blushing. It made you giggle. "Can I really say thank you with a cake though?"

"Well, I wouldn't say no," he responded, pressing call on your number, the vibration in your pocket alerting you that he had given you his own number. You saved it to your phone before smiling back at him. Kihyun grinned. "Cake sounds nice actually."

Just then, your daughter ran over to you both, crashing into Kihyun’s thigh and breaking the gaze you had been holding with him. He blinked and then looked at your daughter who reached towards his phone. "Oh! Photo time!"

"You want to take a photo?" She nodded adamantly. "Of who?"

"Mummy and Daddy and me!"

You lurched towards your daughter now scrambling up into Kihyun’s lap. "No, we shouldn't ask Kihyun to do that."

"We can though, if you want?" he asked, directing his gaze towards your daughter. "A family photo, right?!"

"YEAH!"

You knew somewhere deep down that you should have stopped this. Letting her continue calling Kihyun Daddy instead of a proper term was only teaching her bad habits. But you liked it too much. And when Kihyun scooted closer to you, it felt as if he too wanted to keep up the role. As you took a couple of photos, you laughed at how natural it felt to have him at your side, and how happy the three of you looked together when he showed you the finished product. Together, you walked back home with your daughter swinging on both your arms merrily, linking you both, smiles continually being shared as you went. And by the time you reached your front door, inviting Kihyun in felt just right, as did eating cake and later preparing dinner together too.

You didn't know when the role-playing had ended and how much you now looked forward to having Kihyun in your lives.

But you liked it. And when he shyly kissed you goodnight three nights after the first time he came over for dinner, you realised that you liked him too.

A whole lot.

_________________

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[serenzippity]

Cold War

Words: 3,303 Member/Pairing: Monsta X, Jooheon/OC, Wonho/OC, Minhyuk/Hyungwon, Kihyun/I.M Genre: Alternative Universe, inspired by “All In” Warning(s): mentions of drug-use (the flower from “All In”), slight implications of violence, language

Book One - Chapter Four

July 31st, 2018

It was hard going about my day as if nothing had changed within me. Every single one of my senses was heightened to the point that it gave me a raging headache by the time I tucked into bed at night. The pounding in my head lasted for hours until I could finally shut my eyes and try to act like everything was wholly normal. 

While I hated the painful side effect, the increased vision and reflexes were welcomed. I was quick and light on my feet, getting orders out at a rapid pace during the day. At night I was lifting boxes easier and processing my stock with a keen eye. I felt stronger, borderline daring as if I could take over the world. 

The flower also gave me a new consciousness that helped to reign in my constant anger and paranoia. It was almost addicting how carefree I felt when the saccharine sweet voice whispered in my ear. I hadn’t seen any of the X-Clan members since the ritual, but every morning I was roused by the sound of padded feet and whispered goodbyes. The flower gave me increased hearing, and I was now wholly privy to Jooheon sneaking out in the early hours of the morning. Rather than get angry at the revelation, the flowery voice in my head lulled me back to sleep and promised me that Jooheon meant no harm to my sister and me. 

It was like the dark voice inside my head was effectively silenced and I was thankful for the respite. 

I was exceptionally thankful for the silence during moments that tested my total resolve. The last two days had been filled with rowdy men and the promise of eventual graduation from training. All of the specializations were close to discharging groups of trainees into society, and somehow that gave them all big heads that could block out the sun. Everyone was excited and teeming with anticipation, all of which made my job harder. 

I was thankful for the silence when a group of prissy medical trainees was demanding specialized rations of food and testing my every nerve. I was thankful for the silence when some political trainees demanded to see my license and permits. I was especially thankful when two military trainees tried to proposition me for the night.

The town was in an uproar, but the beautiful petals of the flower muffled my ears so I couldn’t hear the droning. 

-x-

I was clearing the tables from the dinner rush when I heard the door open. “We are closed,” I called out, silently praying that the late customer would simply leave and disregard the signage on the door. We weren’t closing for another hour, but I was hoping for an early night in because the pounding behind my eyes was growing. 

“We aren't here for service.”

The voice as deep and familiar, and I turned to meet the smirking faces of Hyunwoo and Changkyun. They were a welcomed sight and I appraised them with a large grin. 

“Don’t tell anyone I’m closing early,” I said with a wink, ushering them to the bar and pouring three glasses of left-over rationed water. I handed the cups off to them and we all cheered each other before drinking greedily. Changkyun was still in his trainee uniform, bright eyes and vibrant in a way that had my heart clenching for him. Hyunwoo looked less pristine in a flour smacked shirt that hugged his every muscle. He still had a bit of remnant powder on his face and he looked tired. “What can I do you for boys?” I asked, taking the final gulp of my water and putting the glass in the automated cleanser.

Hyunwoo finished his glass, sliding it forward for me to take with a lazy smile. “I just wanted to see how you are holding up?”

“Can’t stay long,” Changkyun said with a sly look, “but we wanted to make sure you didn’t lose your mind yet.”

I couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh into the empty restaurant. It felt good to laugh genuinely for once and I was thankful that Changkyun was the one to draw it out. “I lost my mind a long time ago,” I giggled as I relaxed against the bar. “But overall I feel fine. I do keep getting a headache by the end of the night. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Good,” said Hyunwoo. “That means that the flower is working. It will go away eventually.”

“Eventually,” I mocked with a jest, and Hyunwoo smiled wider at my joke. As promised they both didn’t stay long. One glass of water was drunk and a few jokes were shared between us. It was strange to feel at ease around the two considering how apprehensive I was when I had first met them.

Changkyun was slowly becoming a soft spot and I could feel my affection for the young boy grow. He was so innocent yet so wise at the same time. Everything about him exuded wonderment as if he saw our world not as it is, but how it could be. Hyunwoo, on the other hand, was wholly wise and yet so kind. He was warm in an almost paternal way that allowed me to open up to him easily.

Normally my mind would be screaming at me to put my guard up. It would be telling me to not trust them because nefarious deeds are often hidden by seemingly good intentions. However this wasn’t a normal circumstance, and my head was muffled by soft blue petals that told me to trust them.

And so I did. 

-x-

August 2nd, 2018

Like clockwork, the bell of the shop dinged just as I was wiping down my final table. Taking the dirty rag in my hand, I turned to tell the customer off. However, the words died in my throat when the literal bane of my existence strolled through the threshold with a borderline arrogant gait.

“Jooheon,” I said curtly, returning to my closing chores as he strode to the bar and took his usual seat. 

“Jae,” he replied, watching me with sharp eyes as I flitted around and prepped to close. Soon enough the till was closed and the floor was clean, the silence stretching between us. Throwing my apron in the back I grabbed my keys and bag, giving him a raised brow in question. 

“Would you like to join us again tonight?” Simple and to the point, Jooheon left the proposition hanging in the air. I internally battled with myself on the pros and cons of joining them again. The headaches were the only major negative effect, but I could also subtly feel my body screaming for a fix of the flower. Hyunwoo told me that the effects would eventually fade away, but was it worth partaking in again if I could get another fix? The heightened abilities were nice, but was this whole thing addictive?

I had seen what happens when someone becomes addicted to an altering substance. Hell, I’d sold and contributed to many peoples addictions to the bottle. I always told myself I would never be dependent on anything like that, not only for my sake but also for the sake of Mina growing up. 

Would partaking in the flower cause me to break that promise? Was it even worth finding out?

“Tempting,” I drolled as I moved towards the door, Jooheon hot on my heels. “But I think I will pass. I don’t want to impose.”

“You wouldn’t be imposing. Changkyun, Hyunwoo, and I want to extend the offer.”

“Is that so?” I questioned as we stepped out into the warm night. Closing up completely, Jooheon and I started walking away from the row. We didn’t make it far before I stopped in my tracks, choosing to go the opposite direction before I could change my mind. “Tell them I said thank you, but I think I will just go home for the night.”

“Get back safe, Jae.” He gave me a small smile before turning on his heel and walking in the direction of the village’s edge.

“Jooheon,” I called out into the still darkness. He turned to look at me, continuing to walk backward and getting further away with each step. 

“Yeah?”

“Promise me two things. One, Mina never finds out about the flower.” He paused at the mention of my sister. Slowly nodding, I could see his eyes flash and his shoulders tense. It was as if the mere mention of her turned the annoyingly intelligent man into a shy schoolboy. “Second,” I said moving away and into the night, “Stop leaving your shoes messily by the front door. If I trip on them one more time I’ll set them on fire.”

I didn’t stay long enough to see his reaction, choosing to take the path home and promptly passing out from exhaustion and the pounding headache.

Sure enough, the next morning there was a dirty pair of men's shoes tucked away by the front door. 

-x-

August 5th, 2018

I was definitely feeling the absence of the flower by the time the tenth day rolled around. I felt normal in an almost odd way. There were weights on my shoulders and feet, slowly dragging me down and making me sluggish. To others, I looked like I was moving normally, but I felt like a snail. The only positive was when my hearing returned to normal. I was no longer roused by Jooheon sneaking out in the morning, rather the alarm on my watch was my wake up call. I couldn’t hear the chatter of customers vividly, nor were colors any brighter. 

I had effectively returned to normal and my body was craving the blue petals.

My suspicions had been confirmed, and I was thankful that I didn’t succumb to the addictive temptation.

The morning of my tenth day was hotter than all the others. Humidity and heat mingled together to coat the whole village in a layer of sweat. Men, women, and trainees trudged to work miserably under the glare of the sun. Silently like zombies, we all moved in tandem, going about our bleak lives in service to the Jeongs.  

It took me longer to get to the restaurant than usual. My slow footsteps were emphasized by the drops of sweat from my brow and I could already tell that today was going to be a miserable one. 

My negative prediction was proven to be true when I saw Jooheon pacing outside the door like a man possessed. He had a crazed look in his eye and I was almost apprehensive to approach him. I was close to turning around and heading home, but before I could move he saw me and called out.

“Jae! I need your help!” He rushed forward and took hold of my wrist to drag me closer to the door as if it would get me moving faster. I retched out of his hold, giving him a glare that had him slightly stepping away. 

Placing my key in the lock, I gave him a once over and took in his frazzled appearance. He looked anxious and rushed, something that greatly contrasted from his nonchalant persona. “You better not have done anything stupid Jooheon,” I hissed, turning the lock and making my way inside with him hot on my heels. 

Before I could even get my bearings he was slamming a pile of notes on the counter. “I need a gun.”

I hesitantly took the notes, counting the sheer amount of them with strangely curious fingers. “You want something nice, huh?” He shook his head quickly, avoiding my suspicious eyes. I was so close to rejecting the offer based on the sheer amount of knowledge I had on the boy, but the money was too good and it would help Mina and I pay the rent for the next few months easily. “I may have something, but it could take a few days.” Pocketing the money, I made a mental note on what to ask my supplier for. 

“I can’t wait for a few days. Just give me two of what you have now.” The urgency in his voice took me back.

I looked at him skeptically, contemplating what exactly he would be planning. “I’m going to be pissed off with whatever you are planning on doing, aren’t I?”

“Probably.” He glanced towards the door, willing it to remain closed so he could be in and out quickly. Flitting between the door and me, Jooheon’s anxiety was rolling off him in waves. 

Narrowing my eyes, I asked him the one question that was plaguing me. “Is Mina involved in whatever you are about to do? Because if she is you know I won’t hesitate to kill you.” The last words came out with a dark growl.

“Absolutely not.” He said it with such resolve that I almost, almost believed him. With a sigh, I resigned myself to the allure of the money. Taking the notes, I stuffed them away before heading down to the storage room. Grabbing two handguns, I brought them up and slid them to him in a small black bag. Just as he slung it over his shoulder the first two customers of the day strolled in, no doubt trying to find an escape from the heat. 

Jooheon didn’t say anything, choosing to simply run out of the restaurant with haste, earning a glare from the few customers that got in his way. I didn’t have time to chase after him or do anything else before the filling of tables took all my concentration away. Throughout the day any spare thought I had was focused on Jooheon and his suspicious actions, but I couldn’t do anything without looking complicit or suspicious. After all, I was the one who sold him the weapons.

The lunch rush came and went in a flurry. I welcomed the small gap between lunch and dinner, resigning myself to tidy up and make sure I wouldn’t get too behind once the dinner patrons came in. It was monotonous, as every day usually was, but it was a good distraction from Jooheon’s sketchy behavior a few hours prior. 

“Sweeping? Check. Mopping? Check. Rinsing down the bar?” I checked the water rations of the restaurant and saw plenty of water left over. “To-do,” I hummed and set to the task. Between the gushes of water from the handheld hose, the door opened and I didn’t notice the patron come and sit at the bar. 

“Jae,” they whispered, causing me to jump about a foot in the air. 

“Holy shit!” I dropped the hose, splashing water all over my clothes and the floor. I was started by the onslaught of cold water, but all that went out the window when I saw the distress on Minhyuk’s face. He had dirt dusted over his cheeks and they were streaked with dried tear tracks. His eyes were red and puffy, practically screaming at me that he had been crying.

“Are you okay?” There was a genuine concern in my voice, something that even surprised me. But the shaking of his shoulders brought out that maternal instinct that gravitated towards Mina and, lately, Changkyun. 

“Jooheon told me that I c-could come here if I needed help.” His voice sounded defeated, almost broken and each word was a glass shard in my chest. 

“He said that?” Looking around, he simply nodded his head as fresh tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. “I mean, sometimes. I can get you something that you… yeah—”

Cutting me off he leaned in closer, practically leaning over the bar. “Can you get me rations? Or do you only have weapons?”

“I have both.” The question took me off guard as Minhyuk was one of the last people I’d expect to come… buying. 

“Gas? Do you have gas rations?” Urgency swam behind his eyes, and for the second time today I was questioning if I should tell a customer yes or no. The X-Clan were proving to be the total bane of my existence. 

“Y-yeah I do, but they are easily traceable so I don’t usually sell them.” He looked absolutely defeated as if I took any and all hope from him. He leaned back on the stool, shoulders slumped and eyes downcast. There was a complete cloud over him that seemed to even dull his bright hair and eyes. It was at this moment that I saw the similarities with Hoseok. 

Despite being brothers, they looked relatively dissimilar. The only major indicator of their parentage was arguably the rare white of their hair and almost ethereal looks. However, now that I was seeing the younger up close and personal it was easier to see the little ticks and movements of his face that paralleled that of his insufferable older brother. They both had eyes that portrayed emotions like a television screen, flashing from one feeling to the next and displaying their state for all the world to see if one just took the time to look. 

I’d seen rage, disbelief, and curiosity in Hoseok’s eyes. I’d also seen them blown out with euphoria. This time around I was seeing the other Lee brother hang his head in disappointment with pain swimming through the dark irises. It was something that I knew I didn’t want to see again. 

I let out a tired sigh and mumble, telling him to stay put before hanging up a closed sign, locking up, and heading down to the storage room for the second time that day. The cold room welcomed me with frosty arms and I discreetly wished that the X-Clan would leave me in peace for one damn day. 

I grabbed a ration of gas and, after double checking that it was full, headed back upstairs. In an instant, Minhyuk seemed to shed his forlorn attitude once he saw the ration in my hands. Like a mother handing her child a toy, I gave the ration to Minhyuk when he eagerly reached for it. 

Long gone was dull look in his eyes, rather it was replaced by a new determination that brought color to his cheeks. He looked angry and resolved all at once.

“Just take it and go.” He all but sprinted out of the store, getting stuck behind the locked door for a moment and fumbling with the lock. Rounding the bar I unlocked the door for him, but before he could leave I grabbed his shoulder and forced him to look at me. “Be careful, okay?” Once last fleeting nod and a curve of his lips were all he gave me before running out into the midday sun. 

As I watched him go I realized that the X-Clan was becoming a little too comfortable with me. In the span of ten days I’d seen Jooheon twice— not counting the nights he spent in my home—and three other members at least once. Granted I had a growing soft spot for Changkyun but the visit from Minhyuk was a shock because he and Hyungwon were arguably the last people I expected to come to me. We’d exchanged only a few words, virtually none up until the morning after I first took the flower with them. He and the tall, beautiful boy were usually in their own world together. 

The sheer fact was that they were arguably growing bolder and bolder just by coming to me so casually. But I knew with every fiber of my being that this increasingly bold attitude would end up coming back to bite me in the ass. 

Despite knowing how precarious of a situation I was in, why was a feeling exhilarated?

A/N: So this chapter is shorter and boring, but it leads up to the climax of the next two chapters. AND THEN after that, we get into the fallout and the end of Book One. I’m so excited! As always, thank you to my amazing beta and soulmate @wonheonie for helping me with this chapter and keeping me going. If there is anything, in particular, you’d like to see happen send me a message. Also, please let me know how you are liking this series, it’s my baby but I honestly feel like I’m losing inspiration. I keep rewriting the ending and Book Three and I’ll end it there so I’m not fishing for reviews. 

[bangtan-spells]

Yoongi Scenario: Under My Skin - Part 3.

Request:Hii you are by far my favorite blog❤️❤️❤️ Can you do an scenario where Yoongi is your stepbrother (your father married his mother) and you two are really in love but feel guilty about it?? i want yoongi to be very protective and like he really loves me. please make it angst but fluffy. i love you guys❤️

Genre: Angst / Romance.

Part 1 / Part 2

Yoongi stared some more, his eyes not giving away anything. -Alright then- he said finally before turning to leave.

-Yoongi- his name went out of your mouth swiftly, almost without wanting it, but when you had seen his back it had hurt. You didn’t imagine how you would feel if he ever was to leave you. Yoongi looked back at you, cocking his head a little telling you to speak. “I love you” you wanted to say, but the words didn’t come. -Nothing-

The next week went by similarly, you went to school together but you didn’t talk much, you walked ahead and Yoongi followed you close behind, just a few steps back. Both of you liked it since you enjoyed your silent time but it wasn’t an everyday thing either, you would usually start telling him whatever was on your mind, but now you remained quiet.

So Yoongi was observant through the week, giving you space since you obviously needed it, at first he thought it was only that, he didn’t have a problem in taking a step back and just let you be since he wasn’t clingy and was well aware that living under the same roof could be hard. It had happened to him before and even if you had handled it more reluctantly than him you still had respected his space. But as days went by Yoongi was suspecting it was something more than just a need of personal time.

After you arrived at school you wouldn’t even go near him, which was ridiculous considering how much you always wanted him to sit with you and your friends. You no longer waited for him to get back home together and he suspected you were getting out of classes earlier just to go without him. In the house you were adopting the same attitude, spending as less time out of your room as possible, only touching him when he approached you boldly to give you a sudden kiss that a week ago would have meant giggles or even a late night trip to his bedroom, but this time you had looked at him with reproving eyes before going to your room once again.

It reached the point where Yoongi was absolutely positive that there was something else going on, and he wouldn’t be guessing for any longer. So on friday when he arrived home alone and found a note of his mom saying she would be out with Hyunwoo for dinner, Yoongi decided to talk to you.

You were in your room so as usual Yoongi entered without knocking first. You were laying on your stomach but sat upright when you saw him getting inside.

-Yoongi, what’s up?- you asked when neither of you said anything for a few seconds. It made him snort, walking more into the room to then sit on the bed next to you.

-We are alone- he stated making you sigh in relief. -Do you want to tell me why are you avoiding me?-

-It’s nothing-

Yoongi gave you a stern look. -So you have been avoiding me for nothing?-

You shook your head looking afflicted. -Please Yoongi, I’ve been thinking so much that my head hurts-

At this Yoongi got a bad feeling, every time either of you thought too much about something it ended in a fight. -So are you going to be avoiding me from now on? Until your head stops hurting? Seriously Y/N-

-It’s just that I can’t stop thinking what would happen if my dad or your mom finds out-

Yoongi took your hand and gave you a serious look. -Y/N we’ve had this exact same discussion a dozen times, if we are careful then they won’t find out-

-But what if they do? What if someone has already figured us out?- you insisted nervously.

Yoongi shook his head feeling disgruntled. -What? Did something happen? I don’t fucking get it-you bit your lip, averting your gaze from his. -Y/N what is it?- he pushed.

You ran a hand through your hair. -I… I spoke with Jonghun the other day and he…-

Yoongi stood up from the bed. -You spoke with Jonghun? When?-

-Last week- you confessed with guilty eyes. -I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but he was so weird and he said things that were so disturbing-

Yoongi had his hands on his hips and was pacing in front of your bed. -So all of this is because you let Jonghun put shit in your head-

You stood up too feeling defensive. -I didn’t let him do anything, he said he wanted to be friends and I was a fool to believe him but I didn’t let him do anything-

-Friends?- he laughed. -Since you broke up he had wanted to get back to you, of course you were a fool, he just wants to mess with your head and he’s doing a good job-

-Do I have to ask you to respect me?- you said showing your anger in your tone, you certainly didn’t like him calling you a fool and treating you as such. -I made a mistake, but I feel like he knows something is going on between you and me-

-Then to hell with him Y/N, why would you care if he knows anything? and why didn’t you tell me about it before?-

Yoongi was angry, breathing heavily as he moved his hands while speaking, you hadn’t told him to not start a fight and it had still ended up in one. It was your mistake, and so it had been ignoring him, but it all made you so anxious and nervous that you really thought you couldn’t handle it.

-I need to think Yoongi, please go-

He snorted. -Think about what Y/N? about us? You’re reconsidering our relationship for something your ex boyfriend said?-

-Yoongi we will talk about this later, please, don’t think bad things-

He threw you a disbelieving look, and for a moment you thought he was coming closer to you, try to change your mind, kiss you and push you to bed where you could feel his body on top of yours, it made you have goosebumps just thinking about it, but he didn’t. -Do whatever you want-

Yoongi went to his room, plopping down on the bed with a promising headache. If you didn’t want to talk to him then he wasn’t going to push you, it infuriated him that you had let Jonghun get into your head, and even more because you hadn’t wanted to share it with him. So Yoongi closed his eyes and let his mind drift away, a nap would calm him down.

Someone was knocking insistingly at his door, Yoongi sat up feeling slow and groggy.

-Come in-

His mother entered the room with a worried expression, lifting his gaze he noticed Hyunwoo was standing outside his room also with a serious worried face. It made Yoongi wake up entirely. -Yoongi, I know you have been sleeping but, do you know anything about Y/N?-

At the sound of your name Yoongi’s heart jumped. -What’s the matter with her?-

-She’s not in her room, we think she went out before we got here but she has not returned, perhaps you know where she went? Or did she tell you something?-

Yoongi shook his head, wondering if this was you trying to grab attention or if maybe you have gone out to listen to Jonghun’s shit again. He was still angry about the whole thing. -I don’t know, when I got here she was in her room, but she’ll come back- he said with a disregarding gesture.

-Yoongi, it’s almost midnight- his mother stated making him open his eyes wide in surprise, had he slept that much? He grabbed his phone and confirmed it.

-And you didn’t see her? Have you called her?- Yoongi bit his tongue when he realized how nervous he had gotten, if they saw him getting too worried then it would be weird.

-No, she left her phone in her room- your father spoke for the first time. -We got home ten minutes ago and she’s not here, do you know if she went with her friends? Y/N has been studying a lot lately, and she always has her head on the clouds, that girl seriously… I’ve told her a million times she has to be more aware of things-

Yoongi nodded, getting on his feet surprising both his mother and Hyunwoo. -She is, you’re right, she… Y/N said she might be going to her friend’s house- he started gathering his phone and wallet.

-Honey, what are you doing?- Youna asked confused by his actions.

-I’ll go get Y/N, I know where she is, her friend’s house-

Hyunwoo nodded. -I’ll go with you, Y/N needs to listen to not do these things, getting out of the house without telling no one-

-That’s my fault sir, she told me, she asked me to tell you but I fell asleep and I forgot… I’ll go for her, it’s no trouble- he was lying of course, but Yoongi hoped his steady voice and usual confident demeanor helped him support the charade.

-Are you sure? It doesn’t feel right…- Hyunwoo trailed off as the three of them went downstairs.

Yoongi shook his head. -This is my fault really, I forgot to tell you and she must have forgotten her cellphone, if you allow me I’ll get her, it would be real quick in the car- Yoongi gulped, knowing it was a risky move, but if he was right about the suspicion of your whereabouts it wouldn’t end up good for you as your father would surely be mad.

-Let him Hyunwoo-  Youna put a hand in his arm. -Yoongi will bring her safely-

The man looked conflicted for a few seconds but then nodded, like he was too tired to even go on arguing -Yes, if you say she is at her friend’s then ok, go safely-

Yoongi nodded and bowed respectfully before grabbing the car keys, putting on his shoes and going out.

He didn’t know for sure where you were, but he had a hunch about it. Yoongi drove as fast as he could, what were you even thinking being out of the house this late, even if it was a friendly neighborhood, it was crazy and dangerous to go around so late at night.

But Yoongi got out of the car at the desolate parking lot of the neighborhood’s park. It was a beautiful park if you came at day time, but Yoongi remembered when you had come here around a year ago, it was dead in the night but the stars had looked bright even if the park’s lights shone faintly. It had been exciting and fun breaking the rules since the park was closed to the public at night, but it was a healthy neighborhood and nobody thought two teenagers would be jumping the back fence.

Yoongi took support in the grille, getting as high as he could before jumping to the other side, if he was right, and he prayed he was, then he knew exactly the place where you would be.

Yoongi ran there, slowing his pace when he saw you sitting by the little fountain. It was turned off since it was night, but you could still see the beautiful water flowers. You were sitting on the edge of it, getting startled when you heard him coming.

-Oh god, you almost give me a heart attack-

Yoongi didn’t know if being angry or just laugh, a heart attack you said. -Really? After disappearing like that?-

You turned around again, your eyes going to the unmoving water that reflected the sky. -I didn’t know if you’d come- you muttered when you saw his reflection in the water, he was standing right beside you. -Do you remember when we came here?-

Yoongi nodded. -Yes, you were frightened-

You giggled. -I was, it was all your idea, such a delinquent- both of you stayed quiet for a little while, perhaps remembering that night, perhaps not quite knowing what to say next, but Yoongi did know he couldn’t lose much time.

-Your dad is worried Y/N, why did you leave like that?-

You turned to him, your eyes moist and your cheeks flushed pink. -This scares me Yoongi, the way I love you is scary, even more than coming alone to a closed park, or running away from my dad-

Yoongi didn’t know if it was the right moment to take your hand, but he still did, not being able to restrain himself. You looked so fragile and affected it made him hurt too. -Y/N…-

-When you are around I… Yoongi, everything that could go wrong if someone finds out, don’t you think that being in the same room someone would eventually notice, what if that happens?-

Yoongi had always thought he was a cautious guy, he evaluated situations well and he was the one that took whatever may be for the win. But with you he wasn’t certain, you were right on saying so many things could go wrong, but still he didn’t let go. -We will figure it out when we get there-

You shook your head. -Tonight we will go home, and I’ll struggle to stay in my own bed, knowing that you are so close makes it so difficult, I’ve been avoiding you because I want to able at least to even feign that I’m not in love with you-

Yoongi squeezed your hand. -I don’t want that Y/N- you gave him a confused stare and he licked his lips, it was hard for him saying what he felt but if he must then he would -I don’t want you pretending you aren’t in love with me, never- his voice sounded husky and too low, it made you shiver. -I love you Y/N, It’s hard for me too, it drives crazy that it has to be this way-

You looked down at the fountain, still reflecting the night sky. You didn’t want a relationship that would hurt other people, but you didn’t want to give up on Yoongi either. -Then what should we do? We will have to keep pretending, until when?-

Yoongi pulled you to his body, he hugged you tightly and kissed your forehead. -I’ll try to do better, shit I’ll even leave the house if it makes it better, but for tonight let’s go home-

You gasped. -Leave? Yoongi you can’t be serious-

He kissed your lips. -I’m serious, It’s scary how I love you too- his lips joined yours again, Yoongi wondered how he would keep himself from going to your bed later that night.

He pecked your hand and then started walking. -We have to get home, I told your dad I’ll bring you quickly, and… you still haven’t told me why you are here- he said as you were already in front of the fence to get out of the park.

-Anything I say is going to sound crazy…-

Yoongi sighed heavily, jumping the fence first to be able to help you to the other side. -Your dad is fuming I warn you, although I made up an excuse for you- you jumped down, Yoongi’s big hands giving you the support you needed to be steady on your feet. -I was worried too- he said squeezing you a little. -So I deserve an explanation-

You were inside the car when you spoke again, making him look at you briefly as you did so. -I wanted to know… I wanted to know if you could find me, if you would come for me-

Yoongi gave you another look before shaking his head. -And you still ask yourself that…- he smiled looking at the front. -You have your answer-

You leaned in a gave him a kiss on the cheek making him smile again. -Am I crazy?-

Yoongi laughed openly now, it made you giggle a little as well. -Definitely- You were both a little crazy, but you knew you would face anything that came your way, together.

[mx-requests-forum]

[Fulfilled] Give Me Heonney

Prompt: Jooheon/everyone + Jooheon makes everyone feel better and they reward him with lots of Honey Lovin'

Fulfilled by Moderator ReeLee~

Words: 3157

AO3 Link (For Easier Reading)

Hyunwoo silently stares at his own reflection in the mirror of the practice room, fatigue seeping into his limbs. He’s vaguely aware of Jooheon’s persistent stare on his broad back, but he doesn’t look away. He merely runs through the choreography once more, biting doubtfully on his bottom lip as he approaches the troubling bit.

He messes up yet again, going completely off-beat as uncertainty overtakes his mind. He groans in defeat and sits on the floor for a short break. He can feel Jooheon still watching him, but neither say a word.

They’d been in this room for countless hours now, with Hyunwoo endlessly struggling to nail down a particular move. It isn’t even for an official choreography, it’s just something he has to do to prove to himself he’s still got what it takes. Though, such a notion is completely absurd to Jooheon, but there’s no telling the older that when he’s decided to do something.

Jooheon can see the sorrowful look in Hyunwoo’s eyes, the self-pity that’s entering his soul through his slumping shoulders, and he stands, having finally reached his breaking point.

“Hyung,” he says, walking over and resting a hand on the older’s shoulder. “You’ve gotta give yourself a break. You’re wearing yourself out.” Hyunwoo doesn’t respond aside from the slightest lean to be even closer to his dongsaeng. Jooheon drops to his knees behind the sweating man, and hugs him as tightly as he can.

“You’re worth more than you give yourself credit for,” Jooheon mumbles, pausing before adding, “I hope one day you believe me…”

Hyunwoo sighs heavily, reclining his head against the man’s shoulder as his eyes fall shut, his heart nearly bursting with gratitude for the younger. He honestly doesn’t know sometimes what he’d do without him.

 The next day, Jooheon is at Hoseok’s studio working with him on a couple of new songs. Things seem to be going pretty well, as they’ve just finished remaking the bridge, when the rapper notices something off with his hyung. He watches the strained way Hoseok’s eyes watch the cursor on the screen, remain glued on the progress bar of the track itself… Jooheon can’t help but purse his lips, scooting his chair to be closer to the man.

“It’s coming along great,” Jooheon pipes up suddenly, resting a hand on Hoseok’s knee. The touch causes the older to jolt ever so slightly. Hoseok glances over towards the glass door. It’s got a frosted-over sort of design, so it isn’t as if anyone could see in… but, they’re still at the company building, after all. Hoseok bites questioningly on his lower lip, his own self-doubts filling him. He looks back at the computer screen but remains still, though his eyes begin to water at the corners.

“Hyung? Hyung, what’s wrong?” Jooheon asks gently, moving even closer than before. Hoseok bites even harder on his lip, and Jooheon worries for a moment that he may end up drawing blood.

“Thorry, Heonney,” he mutters, seeming embarrassed for whatever reason. He turns away for a moment to retrieve a tissue from the far corner of his desk, and the younger is left confused. He’s seen Hoseok cry plenty of times before, so why is he apologizing now? He tightens his grip on the older’s leg, as if prompting him for an explanation. Hoseok breathes in deeply, trying to somehow fight off the tears, but both men know it won’t work.

“I… I’m jutht tho t-tired…” Hoseok stutters out, his emotions getting the better of his lisp. Tears fall more quickly now, and he whirls about in his swivel chair to hide his face in the younger’s lap. “I’ve been working on so m-many things for days now, and I can’t even think of why anymore! It isn’t l-like the c-company will ever use these songs! I’m n-never g-gonna be allowed to produthe for an-n-nother group!!!”

Jooheon chews on his cheek, his hands instinctively petting at the older man’s purple locks. He looks up to the ceiling, just letting Hoseok cry out all his frustrations for a moment.

It’s an issue that’s come up before, but Jooheon could’ve sworn Hoseok was over it by now. He works so hard, has been at this for so long, that sometimes Hoseok wonders if he’ll ever be able to achieve his dream. Jooheon just knows he will, as he’s assured him before, but the emotional hyung can get quite downtrodden when the company keeps him in one place for too long.

He lets Hoseok cry and cry until his shoulders stop shaking and his breathing comes out more evenly before saying anything. And, when the older finally does recollect some semblance of composure, Jooheon knows just the thing to bring a smile to his face.

“Wanna get some ramyeon, hyung~?”

Hoseok sniffles, the smallest of grins lighting up his tear-streaked visage, and he nods adamantly. Jooheon chuckles knowingly, and nods himself before standing. Hoseok hastily wipes at his face and sniffs up whatever tears are left threatening to flow as he takes Jooheon’s offered hand and follows him out of the studio.

 “Anything you need, Minhyuk-ssi?” Kihyun asks kindly, watching as his same-age friend overly-dramatically writhes in pain on his bunk. He’d claimed a bout of nausea earlier, but Kihyun had disregarded as the other had described it as him being ‘about to puke my guts up’. Now, it seems, he should’ve listened to him.

Minhyuk pouts up at him sleepily, his face barely visible through the mountain of fluffy blankets on his bed.

“… It feels so distant when you call me that…” he mumbles sadly. He then turns away, grumbling out a small, “Just give me Heonney.” Kihyun purses his lips confusedly for a moment, unsure why the man would only want honey, before he realizes what he means… or, rather, who he means.

He nods in understanding, and leaves the room, already on a hunt for the rapper.

“Jooheonney!” Kihyun calls out, glancing around the dorm. The man in question pops his head out of the nearest bathroom, bits of shaving cream littering his face and a questioning light in his small eyes. Kihyun merely nods towards their shared bedroom while saying, “Just try not to catch whatever Minhyuk-ah has, okay? He wants you to cuddle with him. Get him anything he needs, I’m going to the store to get medicine.”

Jooheon nods dutifully and pauses only a moment to wipe the remaining cream off his face before leaving the bathroom and dutifully shuffling off. He’d only just gotten back picking up Hoseok’s spirits, but now, it seems, he’ll be spending his evening taking care of yet another one of his boyfriends.

Not that he particularly minds, granted. He’d much rather take care of his hyungs than play a video game any day.

He enters the room after giving a small knock, and opens the door to find Minhyuk pouting over at him with the most pitiful expression he’s ever seen. He can’t help but chuckle ever so slightly before complying. Jooheon lies down next to his most boisterous hyung, and opens his arms for Minhyuk to slip into. The older quickly accepts the invitation, sliding forward and wrapping his own arms around the rapper’s waist as his thin frame is encircled in warmth.

“Ahhhh,” Minhyuk sighs contentedly, his voice nothing more than a mere whisper. “My sweet Heonney… Thank you for taking care for me in my time of need~” Jooheon chuckles under his breath, carding his fingers through the older’s hair.

“Anytime, hyung,” he replies.

Soon enough, Minhyuk is already asleep, but Jooheon stays where he is for the time being. It’s his first time to have a moment to breathe and relax for the past couple weeks… and it couldn’t be any more relaxing to have one of his boyfriends in his arms in this moment.

 Kihyun returns to the dorm as quickly as he can, knowing he ought to have medicine in Minhyuk’s system as soon as possible. However, once he does manage to get to their room, he finds his sick bandmate already asleep, passed out and curled up in Jooheon’s arms. He sighs in half-exasperation, half-adoration, as he takes in the heartwarming sight. The sound draws Jooheon’s attention to him, and earns a fond smile.

The vocalist nods towards the hall, and Jooheon nods in understanding. He disentangles himself from Minhyuk’s surprisingly strong hold, and follows Kihyun from the room, softly closing the door behind him to give Minhyuk utmost privacy.

Both men walk silently to the living room, and Kihyun sits down on the black sectional with a tired sigh. Jooheon sits beside him, scooting as close as possible. He hugs Kihyun round the middle and rests his head on the older man’s shoulder, pouting a little in concern at the obvious tension in his body.

“We can’t afford to have anyone getting sick right now,” Kihyun mumbles, his small form remaining rigid in Jooheon’s hold. “We especially can’t afford some epidemic sweeping through the dorm… You and Kkungie should sleep in the other room tonight. I’ll stay in our room with Minhyuk-ah to help him through the worst of this.”

“We don’t want you getting sick, either, hyung,” Jooheon comments. His hands slide up Kihyun’s sides, and rest on his shoulders. He slowly begins kneading at the man’s tense muscles, watching for the signs that older is finally relaxing. “I should stay with him, since I’ve already spent the most time with him in his condition. So, I’m already done for if it’s contagious. You sleep with Hyunwoo-hyung in his bunk, and Kkungie can bunk with Hoseok-hyung. I’ll be fine in our room.”

Kihyun’s eyes flutter shut in the prettiest of ways, his eyelashes brushing over his pale skin, as he slowly but surely unwinds under the younger’s touch.

“I can’t ask you to do that, dongsaeng,” Kihyun chuckles, though his want to take the younger up on his offer is apparent in his tone. Jooheon chuckles knowingly, pausing in his makeshift massage to give the older a small peck on the cheek.

“It’s already decided, hyung,” he tells him, leaving no room for argument. “You’re exhausted enough as is. Just leave it to me.” Kihyun laughs under his breath, his eyes opening to stare lovingly at the rapper beside him. He sets a hand on Jooheon’s thigh to give him a grateful squeeze, and finally concedes in a small nod.

“I’ll go cook dinner, at least,” Kihyun tells him, pulling away. Jooheon immediately bounces up, aiming to help. Kihyun notes his eagerness to cook with him, and doesn’t have the heart to turn him down, despite it being a simple kimchi stew. So, he merely takes Jooheon’s hand in his, and they walk to the kitchen.

 Three days later, Minhyuk has gotten over his stomach bug with the miraculous help of the main rapper, and he’s returned to full strength. So, Jooheon finds himself onset for a photoshoot. He’s there to offer Hyungwon some moral support as the older coolly stares off into the distance amongst flashing lights and clicking cameras.

Honestly, the sight is enough to take Jooheon’s breath away. A feeling that worsens, admittedly, when Hyungwon vacantly stares at him throughout the shoot.

The modelesque older bows to the photographer suddenly, the motion pulling Jooheon out of his daze, and walks towards the rapper. Jooheon gives him a bright smile, but its only met with a defeated sort of sigh, and the younger’s immediately concerned. He follows the taller into the makeshift dressing room, and sits on the creaky stool beside his styling chair the makeup artists typically use.

“I’m starting to wonder what the point is,” Hyungwon admits before Jooheon even has to ask. He reclines his head against the chair and closes his eyes against the harsh lighting, his plump lips contorting in a frown. “I’m not an idol, not really. I’m not that great of a singer, which is why Starship doesn’t give me more lines… I should’ve just stayed a model back in the old days…”

“Where’s this coming from?” Jooheon asks confusedly, his brow creasing in dismay. Hyungwon’s usually so sure of himself, of his place in the group, that his words are a bit of a shock to the younger.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot lately,” his hyung replies vaguely. Jooheon purses his lips, shaking his head adamantly before he even speaks.

“Wonnie-hyung, you belong with us,” he begins, his voice practically dripping with sincerity. “This group wouldn’t be the same without you. You’re talented, way more talented than you obviously think, and much more than just a pretty face.” Hyungwon chuckles lightly, and reaches over blindly to grasp onto one of Jooheon’s hands. He squeezes it ever so slightly, as if in silent gratitude.

“You’re so cute when you’re defiant, Jooheonney,” he breathes out, earning a ‘hmmph’ of protest from the younger. Though, he can’t help but smile, glad to see the obvious shift in Hyungwon’s thoughts.

He just hopes the older will remember what he’s said.

 After separating from Hyungwon at the end of the shoot, Jooheon decides to make his way to Changkyun’s studio. The maknae’s been working diligently on some new tracks, and he’d asked for the older to come by when he got a chance to give his opinion. Jooheon absolutely loves that the younger cherishes his feedback so much, even though he’s sure Changkyun’s stuff is more than enough for what the company’s asked for.

The walk is short, thankfully, from the photoshoot location, and soon enough Jooheon is knocking on Changkyun’s door. The maknae excitedly pulls him in, and only a moment later he’s sitting on the couch and listening to one of the man’s songs.

Changkyun seems overly nervous to play it for him, and he can’t help but become more and more focused on the younger rapper than on the song itself. He forces himself to zero in on the beat, though, as that had been what the maknae had asked him over for. It’s then that his ears catch the snippet of a lyric, and his heart pounds loudly in his chest.

“I came in with no hopes of escape, to y’all who despised me with no mercy.”

Jooheon smacks his lips, shifting in his seat nervously. He listens more and more, and notices the reoccurring phrase ‘no mercy’ over and over… It’s obvious he’s referencing how he had come onto the debut survival program what seems like a lifetime ago, and how Jooheon and the others had hated him upon their first meeting.

Even though they’re all past it and can talk about it openly now, it still makes Jooheon—and the other members, for that matter—ashamed for how coldly they had treated Changkyun in the beginning. The older man now can’t really believe the maknae is writing a song about it, though.

The song in question comes to an end, and Jooheon is quiet for a good minute or so before Changkyun gets nervous enough to break the silence.

“Hyung? Um… Was it… Was it okay?” Jooheon smacks his lips thoughtfully, trying to sort through all the guilt that had come back up because of the song.

“Yeah, it was great,” Jooheon replies, his voice a bit thick. He tries for a small laugh, nervously running a hand through his white hair as he adds, “I’m guessing this isn’t for the next album…”

“I, um,” Changkyun mutters, anxiously playing with the ends of his sleeves, “I actually wrote it for you. Well, you and the rest of the hyungs. I want it to be a kind of anniversary present for next year… I wanted it to be a surprise, but I needed a second opinion on it and I always ask you for that, so—”

“Kkungie,” Jooheon says, laughing to himself. He gestures for his dongsaeng to come closer. Changkyun easily complies, rolling over in his desk chair before leaving it to sit in Jooheon’s lap. Jooheon only wraps his arms around the younger’s waist and squeezes him comfortingly. The man squirms to get a bit closer, kneading his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I think it’s a great idea,” Jooheon assures him, smiling genuinely up at him. Changkyun’s eyes widen, honestly a bit surprised. He’d expected for his hyung to be the voice of reason, to tell him that it’d only make the others sad on such a happy occasion and that he shouldn’t do it. He hadn’t thought that the older would ever approve.

“… Really?” he asks meekly, sounding much more hopeful than intended. It’s so hopeful, in fact—like a child whose just been told he gets to have the last piece of cake—that Jooheon can’t help but laugh against and nuzzle his head against the maknae’s shoulder. He pulls away to nod, his eyes shining up at his one and only dongsaeng. Changkyun giggles a little under his breath, launching himself forward despite the close distance to hug him gratefully.

“Thank you, hyung~!” he chirps sweetly. Jooheon can only pat his back in return. Changkyun hums at the touch, and separates himself from the older to give him a grateful kiss. Jooheon laughs airily after, a hand still running up and down Changkyun’s spine like he knows the younger likes.

“Was that all you wanted me to hear?” Jooheon asks after a moment of just staring fondly into each other’s eyes. Changkyun nods his response, and moves suddenly out of the older’s arms only to offer out a hand.

“Let’s go home, hyung,” he tells him, and Jooheon doesn’t even hesitate to take him up on the offer, the tiring week he’s had beginning to catch up with him.

 When the two arrive at the dorm, they find the others all hunkered down on the sectional in a cuddle pile with a movie playing on the television. They instantly make enough room for their two rappers in the middle, and Jooheon eagerly sits beside Kihyun as Changkyun takes up the gap to his left, next to Hyunwoo.

“Our Jooheonney looks so tired~” Kihyun coos gently, opening his arms to the younger. Jooheon hums cutely in his throat, pouting a bit for emphasis as he snuggles as close as humanly possible to the main vocalist. Hoseok whines a little, and gets up only to sit down on the floor in between Jooheon’s legs. Hyungwon lies across Minhyuk and Kihyun’s laps, his head easily reaching Jooheon’s lap due to his long body.

Jooheon’s eyes begin to fall shut on their own, the warm feeling of love for these men surrounding him only emphasizing his own drowsiness. He feels Kihyun’s fingers begin to card through his soft hair, and he can’t help but smile at the familiar feeling.

No matter how much Jooheon needs to do for each of his boyfriends on a weekly basis, he wouldn’t trade this for all the world~

[rabbitwrite]

september fic previews.

hello everybunny! I started school on the 5th, so lately I’ve been trying to get adjusted. with that being said, all these adjustments have been slowing down my writing process (as if it wasn’t slow enough already).

to prove I’m working on heaps of different things to post in the near future, I decided to preview a little bit of everything! at least, everything I’m determined to finish and not abandon. I’m also thinking about doing monthly previews, especially within the first weeks because I’m going to try and balance out writing with school.

now that that’s settled, previews will be included under the cut! 

here are a few things to note:

previews are in order of oldest work to newest

If text is italicized, it is the synopsis! 

every preview below has been included in my to do/wip list prior to the creation of this post

they are monsta x / exo / nct fics

the motive for this month is “fantasy au��! therefore all previews are for fantasy au fics. if you want specifics, they are among monsters of men pt.2, spellstruck, I’ll bring you the light, from 16, and where the land meets the sea

Among Monsters of Men PT.2 (Kihyun x Reader)

In the tub was a man, pale and muscular with a cheery smile that did not suit the rest of his appearance. Like the rest of his body submerged under the cover of bubbles, his silver hair was drenched, dip-dyed blue fringe clinging to his forehead.

“I spoke too soon, apparently,” Minhyuk sighed, though the tone of his voice didn’t seem like he was surprised.

“Minhyuk,” the water dweller turned to face the Faun, casting him a mesmerizing smile before directing it towards you. “And an unknown guest, I see. Hello.”

“Hi,” you responded, briefly nodding before you watched him shift in stance.

Leaning over the edge of the tub, water sloshed in unison with the motion. “I’m Hoseok, if you didn’t know prior to this encounter. Is there anything I can help you with, sweetheart?”

Spellstruck (Baekhyun x Reader)

Byun Baekhyun was a legend within the spellcasting community. A seasoned sorcerer with a glorious reputation, he was known to tame even the vilest of creatures and brew the most complicated potions. Nowadays he ventured from town to town, setting up shop to showcase his collections for fellow spellcasters like him. Today his establishment happened to be within your reach, convenient for you considering you had been a fan of Baekhyun for ages.

It was even more convenient for the feelings you bared for the sorcerer, but after a bit of a mishap with a powerful potion, those feelings were no match for the newfound feelings Baekhyun had for you.

You nodded your head in confirmation, but you did not offer much of a word due to the sudden hush of the crowd. The immediate silence seemed so unnatural, especially considering the enthusiasm of the people among you prior. It was most likely a spell that had fallen over the crowd, and it was apparently not the first usage of magic in the moment. Now that most were at a standstill, standing on the tip of your toes gave you enough elevation to get a clearer view of Baekhyun’s shop. A small tent fabricated with elegant violet cloth woven with golden lining, you were too far to decipher what the design of gold was, but close enough to be aware of its intricacy. Mist seeped through the entrance of the tent, shrouding the platform it was situated on. But not for long.

I’ll Bring You the Light (Minhyuk x Reader)

There was no light Down Below. Aside from the dull illumination from flashlights and unreliable glow of lanterns, the underground society was sentenced to darkness. The Dwellers of this particular society were not people to question this notion. In fact, they seemed to be peacefully content with the way they functioned. To them, the notion of their descendants living above ground was nothing but a legend, so obscure that they could not fathom the thought of leaving their “insured safety” within the earth. They could only fear whatever dangers were bound to be encountered if they were to leave the safe haven they had created for themselves, but fear was but one factor out of many that stopped Dwellers from even thinking about straying away from their norm. Most Dwellers, at least. You were not one of them. You had no intention of contributing to the constant desire for expansion Down Below, nor did you have any interest. It was a wonder to everyone, including yourself, how you were able to maintain such a close friendship with Minhyuk. That boy’s dreams and aspirations revolved around the career of a Paver, the exact opposite of anything you’d want to be.

From 16 (Mark x Reader)

“Hey.” One word, a single syllable that still managed to strike you like a storm. The voice had a vague sense of familiarity, not just from your childhood but perhaps from a music video or two you had watched. His voice had matured significantly, but his gentle tone was all the same. Yet it felt so foreign to hear it directed to you, for such an absence disregarded the times you had heard it before.

So you couldn’t help but mimic the word, softer as if Mark’s initiation wasn’t already quiet enough. “Hey.”

“I know that I’m probably the last person you want to deal with right now, but-”

“Don’t say that,” you cut him off abruptly, offended by his claim of knowledge because he didn’t.

That left him shocked at your intervention, and he stuttered out a simple “Huh?”

“What do you mean “huh”? I’ve been missing you ever since you left. All these years and I never stopped.”

Where the Land Meets the Sea (Shownu x Reader)

It is hard for a merman to maintain a friendship with a human, though it is proven to be most difficult when said merman is next in line for the throne of an empire under the sea.

By the time the both of you had made direct eye contact once more, you had finally come up with an idea. Grabbing hold of the net’s frayed edges, you wrapped the material around your palms and jerked it towards the ocean.

Though you seemed to overlook what your notion required, and you ended up falling on your side with a thud muffled by the sand. Hyunwoo was apparently heavier than you thought, if you thought about it in the first place. You were more focused on returning the merman to his rightful domain, and that was just enough to keep you motivated. 

You got up, keeping your legs grounded at a fair distance apart from each other before attempting to tug the net once more. This time you didn’t falter, but the material scarcely moved from its original place. But any form of movement was progress nonetheless, and every bit brought Hyunwoo closer to where he came from.

[sunlightnmoonshine]

Okay so I've had time to calm down and think of ways to make eunseong eat dirt and so now to the positives of this episode which was completely overshadowed by those awful 15 minutes.

- baekhong, how far they've come. To me this was one of their strongest episodes, one because it was truly the most vulnerable we had seen of them together and that scene outside the hospital and then outside the church oof??? The way I could feel the pain, the way I could understand where each was coming from and the way it just hurt because you want only good for them, most importantly though it was the way they were finally communicating with each other and knew why the other was behaving the way that were and were making active efforts to be there for each other irrespective of what they felt.

- at first I had whiplash at how they kept going from tears to just casually hanging out with each other, but it just made so much sense? Like here they are, not walking away but are dealing with the pain together, hyunwoo still trying to convince her but also just being there for her, and haein not wanting to budge but also entertaining hyunwoo's antiques because this is how they work through things, they cry, but they still stay by each other, they try to understand, the effort is all.

- hyunwoo's reaction after the accident deserves special mention but lol what even was that accident, nothing but shock factor and the way they hired that one white dude to just casually be like oh my god lemme call an ambulance and then disappear (bad bad writing) but I couldnt care about any of that because did you see the way kim soo hyun acted his heart out that scene????? Did you see the shortness of breath, the on the verge of a panic attack, the despair then the relief in his eyes, the crying, the way he held her?? The way I could feel every emotion and personally while I think the accident itself was stupid I found it poignant that haein changed her mind when she saw hyunwoo like this and we all know it's not because of the "ooh he looks so sad some lady will come hug him when he's crying after I die" but because haein herself has never seen hyunwoo like this, she saw entirely how destroyed he looked and felt when he thought she died and that hurt her more than anything and oof I just love these two, it's the way they just love each other so much and just want the other to be happy, in this moment haein said I'd hate to forget you but I'd hate it more if my death destroyed you and I think that speaks volumes.

- every other baekhong scene was gold lol, in the hospital, them just being domestic and just talking, the words they say before haein goes in for surgery (poorly written surgery, poorly written illness), the way hyunwoo just collapses once she's in - (and that's it I can't talk about the last 15 minutes lol even though there's a lot of baekhong glory there too).

- special mention for aunt beomja who really is a little ray of sunshine and for soocheol and his little family (I have issues with their bad qualities just being disregarded by this writer but that's for a different post).

Anyway, the ep is flawed just like every ep has been, it's clear the writer has no idea how to navigate complex plot lines and really should have just stuck to baekhong, because that's truly been worth the watch and has been very well written.