#I still have one more exam so maybe I'll add another one. who knows

[dragonairice]

Some phone doodles I’ve accumulated in exam waiting rooms

[ghostykapi]

lover’s rock

chou tzuyu & fem!reader // fluff

it's no secret that you like someone for a while. the paper cuts on your hands were always evident, your eyes straying to a certain direction during a very particular class, the flushed face you sport every time you're asked who this mystery person is.

"it's someone" you cheekily reply each time despite the red hue on your face "someone lovely"

only a few people know who it is, considering they see the flowers right outside their apartment each day. going through every flower you can think of that relates to her in different colors. frankly it's even a bit bold of you to do that, knowing it could be directed to any of them, but you don't fail to let those flowers come by with a note every time. each note having her initials on the upper right on each scented note

even on weekends where exams loom by, you add in small snacks with the flowers with extra notes that you leave your special stamps in. it's even more puzzling on how you aren't caught yet when you're one of the few people who take up that business course that has an avid obsessions with stamps and wax seals. they kill your wallet enough that you sometimes resort to cup noodles on some nights.

tonight is no different, your hands familiar with the folding of paper and your eyes focused in on your work. the pens and paper for the note set aside for later, and the flowery sent of your perfume lingering already on the papers.

it barely takes you 15 minutes and your done with all of it, only having to wait for the stamp of the butterfly to dry out on the paper. a classic violet donned in different shades, accompanied with a lavender colored note.

satisfied, you tuck it in neatly in your bag for tomorrow and get ready for bed. it's only halfway through your nightly routine that your dormmate barges in with the loudest voice she can, startling you out of your mind

"YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT SOMEONE JUST HANDED TO ME" your certified best friend of a roommate, shin ryuin, is someone who you trust with your life. maybe just not tonight

"i would if you can calm down" you look at her hands, eyes stilling at the box she's holding "what's that?"

"i don't know" ryu grins, like she's found the greatest answer to how to do that project that's been burning her braincells to dust "but it was just outside our room. in a box full of goodies. just for you"

"just for me?" you ask, confused to why it would be to you

"duh, i mean just look at it" she turns the box around, showing the neat handwriting of 'to my sweetheart, y/n'. "it literally says your name"

inside the box is a bunch of books you were eyeing for months and those snacks you've been craving for so long, leaving you shocked at how personal and well thought of these gifts were

"wait" you look up at her shit eating grin, baffled by the situation "you said someone just handed it over to you?"

"yeah nayeon unnie just gave it to me, whining about how she's become the delivery person" ryujin laughs as your brain tries to connect the dots "i mean, sure she's old but if she starts complaining about that more then i'm sure her back must be sad"

"if she hears you then you're dead" you sigh, a bit dejectedly but mostly out of fondness "well i have to sleep early tonight, got another essay to cram at the library"

"sure you do" ryujin knows your route every morning by now, and all the reasons behind it

before you sleep however, you stare at the box for a good while, along with the note accompanied with it. her neat handwriting starting to burn into your eyes as you reread every word that it has.

‘come early sometime. i'll make you that coffee you always like’

you think about it on the way to her apartment. you think about it as you hold the package on your hands. you think about it as you hold the flower, standing right in front of the apartment door

and yet, even if the note is burnt into your mind, you can’t help but not knock on the door. you just can’t go though with it. everyday you go though this same routine and yet

you can’t go through with it. you can’t break it off and confess to her

why?

is it the fear? the fear that plagues your mind when you see her reflect every person in campus? is it the fear that drinks your soul every night when you see her look somewhere else, maybe at someone you refuse to even see

is it the fear of not being chosen?

"wait!"

the door open before you can even walk away. standing there in all of her glory is chou tzuyu, still dressed in her cute pajamas, her doggies beside her.

"wait" she calls out to you and suddenly you're shy, you didn't think that it would be this soon that she catches you

let's face it though if she wanted to, she could have confronted you after a week of that.

"don't go" tzuyu whispers, holding onto your hands, even if you’re holding all the things she’s been looking for “i just got to you”

“well” you start, even if you don’t trust your own voice, because you don’t trust that you can talk to her after you leave “i was just about to knock”

“sure” she knows better, and you know she knows “and i know you’re just in time for coffee”

your eyes stare back at hers and maybe you wonder if you really do trust yourself not to be a fool

“i don’t know” you look down, shoes pointing to each other despite your straight posture “do you really want to have a morning with me?”

“of course i do” she says, shocked and a bit offended with the way “is what you think of yourself?”

“no!” you blurt out, ready to let the earth swallow you whole “i mean-like-i just think that-well i always think about this-that you deserve the best and i’m not the best but i want to give you the best-because then again i’m not the best-“

“you don’t have to be” she grabs you by the shoulders, cutting you off. you can see how she’s getting closer to you, and how you’re immobilized to your sport as her fur babies circle around you

“you always give me paper flowers every morning” tzuyu looks down at the flower you’re holding “paper flowers that never left my room, paper flowers that can mean something, paper flowers that you never fail to deliver since we became classmates since the start of this semester”

you’re breathless as she gently takes it away from you. the sparks dancing around you both finally meet at her fingers that brush against yours, making you feel electrified with butterflies

“you don’t ask for a lot too even if i’m running out of places to put your flowers” she continues “just always a ‘hello’ or ‘how are you’ and it’s never ever anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. you always smile and encourage me in class, never asking because i know it’s hard. i know it’s scary to ever even try to ask a simple question”

“tzuyu” you wonder how much you can take it anymore, but it seems you don’t even have to ever take the plunge that drives you crazy when someone you always love asks-

“so i’ll do it” tzuyu softly confesses to you, as the red string of your hearts pull together, as the timer on your wrists ticks down to zero, as the color seeps in back into the world around you, as the petals stop flowing out of your mouths, as the scribbles on your arms match forever and ever

“i’ve loved you since you gave me that first flower, so be my girlfriend?”

maybe it’s everything that finally clicks together but chou tzuyu can confidently say that she was over the whole galaxy when you give up and give her the kiss that truly wakes her up that morning.

[flwrcrxwnlyon]

Des probably shows Pirandellian character traits: fun analysis (SPOILER AZRAN LEGACY)

First of all, I'm just a student who studied Italian literature as a subject at school, so please take all of this with a grain of salt and feel free to add your considerations. (And I hope that my teacher doesn't have Tumblr because it would be very embarrassing.) Also, maybe there are some regional differences, for reference I'll use the italian version of the game.

We all know that Descole is a broken husk of a man; Desmond Sycamore is dead; stuff like that. But I want to share with you guys a personal point of view about his character while using what I studied and STILL STUDYING for final exams ("maturità")

In order to understand what I am going to say, I need to explain a bit of his theories, which are also used in his novels, especially what we call "la teoria delle maschere."

Before talking about it, we need to essentially explain the concepts of life and form:

Life is a continuous change, a stream, and form is the structure where people try to contain life in order to make it more understandable by putting or letting people put a mask on ourselves (for example, a name, a role, etc.) that covers our true selves, our identity, which, just like life, changes and isn't coherent.

But since life is a continuous change, people are destined to face the fact that their identity isn't something stable. Usually it's a peculiar event or some random stuff, and they have different reactions to it. One of them is trying to escape from the form.

An example of this in Pirandello's books is Mattia Pascal, a man with a miserable life who decided to change his identity in order to escape from it, taking advantage of the fact that everyone he knows believes that he died, but in the end he realised that in his new form he couldn't be free, and he couldn't even go back to the old one since everything changed.

Now you may be wondering: What does that have to do with Descole?

His character is mainly centred on the theme of identity, just like Hershel Layton (but he accepts it) and the whole Azran Legacy game, but I wanted to focus on how he was written and especially how his life revolves around this, personally more than Hersh, and how his reaction is different.

Okay, basically the point is that his life is characterised by huge changes, and escapes from the form as a reaction to the event, which lead him to be stuck in an another form.

FIRST FORM: Hershel Bronev

For Pirandello, our first form is the name that our parents gave us. In the case of the Bronev Brothers, they broke pretty easily, and in Des' case, he gave up his name and his form in order to let his baby brother be adopted by the Laytons. This led Theo with a new form that wasn't his and Hershel "not being him" anymore.

SECOND FORM: Desmond Sycamore.

We don't know much about the period after the adoption of his brother. The only information that we have is that he was probably adopted by a family (the Sycamores), and he presumedly met Raymond at this point in the timeline. 

Desmond Sycamore is the name of his new form, perhaps even given to him by his adoptive parents. He acknowledges his past but presumebly tries to move on, in fact by getting married and creating his own family. But the event of the death of his family is going to change him even more. Killing off this form.

THIRD FORM: Jean Descole.

Now we start with the interesting stuff.

After the death of his wife and his daughter, Descole claimed that Desmond had died, and he, a broken husk of a man, substituted him.

On a more superficial perspective, the reason behind this change of personality could be grief, but to be honest, it doesn't explain why he thinks badly of his past self.

Sure, survivor guilt exists, but I don't think that it's the reason behind it.

I tried to reflect on it a bit more, and one of the explanations that I could give was that, actually, he could feel responsible for anything that happened to his family.

Maybe he wasn't present at the time that the tragedy had happened, maybe he found them already dead. Because of his incapability of defending them, he developed hatred and rage, so as a reaction, he created a new form. One that wasn't a fool and was the exact contrary of who he was and also with the objective to escape from the sense of guilt by separating his present self by the past one.

AZRAN LEGACY: Trying to go back.

Since Des needed help in order to solve the mystery of the azrans and what their legacy was, he presented himself as his past form: Desmond sycamore.

But the truth is that he can't really come back to be him. Just like Mattia Pascal, he changed mentally. He's a different man from before.

We can see that especially during his interactions with Bronev in the Nest, when his rage almost explodes just like Descole's.

But at the same time, it is clear that this whole travel with the layton crew changed him.

Maybe there isn't much evidence, but I personally think that he started to get emotionally close to them, and we can see that with the fact that he saved Luke from the laser.

At the end of Azran Legacy, he can't go back to be Descole anymore because of this and it's unfortunate how Level-5 didn't focus on this thing (just like the other relationships between the characters.)

EXTRAS: Aurora and Des confrontation.

[Image translation: "Now my wife and daughter are gone, and with them, that fool Sycamore."]

In the extras, we have this interesting interaction between Des and Aurora, where basically they talk about Descole.

After Des said that he isn't Desmond anymore, Aurora rebuts him, explaining how he was still capable of loving and hoping for the future, and that he can't really escape from his past, from his memories.

She calls Descole a character, a mask that he used to cope with his pain, and after Des tried to say that "Desmond is gone," Aurora remarks how technically still exists through his actions.

This is evidence of how Des identity changed again and how, as I explained before, even Descole isn't the same as before.

The extras concluded with Descole with a hidden desire to follow Aurora's reflection about resisting and basically moving on. Not forgetting his past.

Conclusion: Who is the true des?

Now there's a discussion in the fandom about who des really is, mainly divided in Desmond or Descole.

While descole is CLEARLY formed after a huge trauma, we also need to consider that Desmond isn't a "true form" either. This is also evidenced in the game.

At least in the italian dialogue, des talks how when he was still in Desmond form, he hoped that he could have lived a normal life with his family (and in the next lines said that he hoped that he would forget about revenge).

But neither Hershel Bronev is his true identity either now. That belongs to his brother now.

So? Who's the true form?

The scared child that hoped for a better life for his brother?

The man that couldn't save his family?

Or the husk blinded by revenge?

Maybe it's all of them, maybe it's no one. After all, we learned that the people's identities aren't stuck. They evolve, and they are complex and contradictory sometimes.

Personally, I don't think there's a true truth. We can just analyse and express our personal thoughts about it, we aren't this character, and there are a lot of points of view on this story, so there's anything concrete, just his events and his narrative of it.

[misc-obeyme]

i feel so validated and supported rn, omggg thank youuu <3 😭 ALSO YAY SOLOMAMS TRAIN!! I'M FILLED WITH IDEAS AND KEPT DAYDREAMING SCENARIOS AT WORK TODAY- I HAVE A NOTES APP SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS AU. I'd love to write it, I'm just afraid I wouldn't do my faves justice or know how to format it. Maybe interconnected drabbles?

i need to research the workings of cafes, and how food is served, because Mammon runs this place on his own. I like the idea of Mammon prepping sandwiches in the morning for the day, and waking up early to bake the pastries. There's also a "pipsqueak special" (named by Mammon, of course) every 1st and 3rd Monday of the month where there's limited cake that Luke baked over the weekend. All profits from his cakes go towards his college fund (Mammon adds extra money to his earnings without telling him).

AHAH, SPEAKING OF ME AND SOLOMON COMING IN AT THE SAME TIME... I have IDEAS. (literally inspired by my crazy day the other day)

Solomon who comes in ten minutes after opening (7:30 am?), on a Wednesday, to cram for an exam. Mammon is immediately pinching himself, his routine is off, he's not prepared and stumbles over his words. Solomon orders two coffees, no danish, and settles in. Mammon feels like the world is ending.

Two hours later, Mammon gets a text that I woke up early again (am on a three day streak) and am coming in for my usual. He knew that the record shop was going to be closed Wednesday-Friday for inventory and cleaning (he knew the shop would be closed, not because he stalks the social media page or anything in an attempt to work up the courage to visit. That would be crazyy).

He starts prepping the order, because I always show up around 24 minutes after I send it. It's routine. But now it's been 40 minutes, my drink is melting, my sandwich is cold, and Mammon feels like the world is ending once more. Solomon has not moved an inch in all this time (except to flip the page of his notes/textbook), and Mammon's eye twitches as he starts fixing up a sandwich, trying to convince himself he is NOT worried about the man. "Mammon? I didn't order a sandwich." "Yeah but ya haven't moved an inch except to flip the page of that damn notebook since you ordered your first two cups and I'm wor- I-I mean, it looks bad for business! It's been two hours, idiot." "And it's not bad business to call your customers idiots? *signature teasing Solomon smile*" "Tch. My customers enjoy the food too much to complain. They know what they signed up for, and that's what they come here for." "The food isn't the only thing they come here for." "Eh?" "Nothing. Ahaha, nothing at all."

Another twenty minutes pass, five after Solomon got his free sandwich. I finally show up out of breath, rambling about how the bus was late, then it broke down, the next one was cancelled, and I decided to walk the rest of the way. I practically collapse into a bar seat, while asking if I can still have my usual, but for here instead. Mammon short circuits, since I always take my food to go since I immediately head over to my shop once I grab my order. And I'm staring at him with my head tilted, up close for once and blinking curiously at him. And wow, my lashes are so long, and are my eyes really that dark? He notices there's gold eyeshadow on my waterline, and why am I waving my hand in front of his face- HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN STARING?! "Earth to Mams?" "*voice crack* Y-Yeah? *Coughs* I'll uh...have your usual out in a sec." 'Wait... Did she just call me Mams?' 'Oh god, I just called him Mams, what if he doesn't like that. Wait, he didn't say anything so maybe he didn't notice?? I gotta act natural. *ears are currently the brightest shade of red ever*'

Mammon feels like the world is ending again for the- He's lost count of how many times he's felt like this today (third times the charm).

And now Solomon has noticed me, coming up to make small talk. Mammon has his back turned for one second to start prepping the drink, and suddenly Solomon has moved his work and food to the bar, right next to me, planning to join me and eat together. A little break from studying should be good, right?

Mammon feels like the world is against him. The two regulars he serves who both make him feel lightheaded for different reasons, who he knows their orders like the back of his hand, but only snippets of their lives, are sitting right in front of him and giggling together like old friends. His heart is in overdrive. He's stuck behind the counter. They're both smiling at him. God help him. (tbc! ..maybe LMAO)

okayokay, hope everyone enjoyed my ramblings. this came out longer than I meant it to, as always </3

- ✨ anon

Okay, now, listen here. I am here to tell you that you will absolutely do it justice. You already have. I can tell by the amount of thought you've put into all the scenes you've described for me so far. You've practically half written it all already!

As for format, interconnected drabbles are the same thing as a full story. Well, for me, drabbles are very short almost summaries, more poetry than anything. But some of them are a little longer and more like scenes. All my fics that are either drabbles or ficlets are a single scene. When you interconnect them, they become a story. Whether you call that a fic or a short story or perhaps it even ends up closer to novella length, that just depends on you.

Stories are structured around scenes. For instance, you might write a scene where Mammon sees Solomon coming in to the cafe, only ordering two coffees and no danish, freaking out. Then your next scene is what happens two hours later, when he gets the text from you that starts the whole next part of the action. You can also change scenes every time you change viewpoint. For instance, if you were going to write a version of the first scene from Solomon's perspective.

WELL anyway, not to get all technical about writing stuff with you here lol. It's just something I like to talk about. I guess my point is that if you do want to write it, don't worry about not doing it justice or the format of it. The first thing never really goes away, so you gotta learn to write despite it. And the second thing will usually just resolve itself as you go!

Anyway, I'm loving this story about the three of you and I absolutely want to know what happens next. I love the image of both you and Solomon sitting at the bar smiling at Mammon who's busy having a meltdown about it. Absolutely amazing, it's like you're unknowingly ganging up on him and he can't take it lol. Do you somehow end up as Solomon's apprentice in this au? Or like learning something from him? Or is it just the crossing of paths continually at the coffee shop? Does Mammon ever confess to either of you??? I have to know how this resolves itself! As long as they all end up together, I'll be happy lol!

[sayakxmi]

[Magi rewatch] Episode 12: Determination and Separation [Part 1]

Sorry I did little to nothing last week, I had two exams and then I badly needed to recharge. But now I feel pretty alright!

On a different note, I've finished the first part of that Final Arc rewrite which I've been (probably?) mumbling about every now and then. Pretty excited about it, ngl. One day I might even post it, lol.

Ok, but the actual episode.

I genuinely cannot imagine being under so much pressure.

Five days till the wedding.

No one will let him breathe. Only more pressure and responsibility.

-judging-

God, look at the relief on his face after Sinbad joined the conversation.

So, I joke a lot about Sinbad and Alibaba's father-son relationship of sorts, but tbh, I don't blame Alibaba. It's not just about Sinbad being his hero, or being an adult guy who acknowledges his existence more. Sinbad is probably the first person since Anise and Cassim who made him feel less pressured about everything. By taking control of the situation, Sinbad took some of that responsibility from him - if something were to go wrong, Sinbad was there to fix it. That's kind of what parents are meant to do for their children, ensure they have somebody to fall back on in a difficult situation. The sheer relief he must feel that Sinbad is there must be unreal, especially after years and years of guilt and having to fend for himself. Alibaba is seventeen, and people are putting the responsibility for an entire severely messed up country on his shoulders.

More judgement.

Cool shot, ngl

:(

"My homeland needs somebody to save it... but is that person really me?"

Can't blame him for these doubts.

Honestly, it's kind of funny how his eyes go soft as he starts talking about Sinbad, even though I know it's about self-deprecation. Also, again, bro, you're 17, and Sinbad had years of experience with this stuff.

"Compared to him, I'm a nobody..."

In the manga he doesn't add that "I'm a nobody", I think, but, honestly? Not a big change. You get the impression that this is how he feels, anyway. And, like, can you blame him? Everybody's always putting him down, and he's the type to care too much about everything. It's bound to mess him up somehow.

Also, birds again. I guess it's symbolic? Of what, though. Freedom, or maybe that he'll take action soon? Cuz they're flying - moving forward. Hm.

...maybe it's about them being connected by fate or something, since Rukh are golden birds... Or just fate in general...

"S: This country needs to be built anew by somebody who really loves it. / J: You mean Alibaba? / S: To be honest, I don't have high expectations of him."

Bro's seventeen. Not everybody has been told that their special and can do absolutely anything since they were like four, cut him some slack.

But I'll be actually honest, I don't blame Sinbad for coming to this conclusion. I don't like how he is about it, bc he makes it sounds like it's Alibaba's fault for being a kid and getting very understandably overwhelmed, but he isn't completely wrong. This entire time he sees Alibaba following others around (Cassim), fail at actually leading the Fog Troupe, and even fail at easing his people's worries. Even when he's faced with the fact that his country is about to be turned into a slave factory, Alibaba still can't answer nor promise anything to anybody.

This is something I've always liked about Magi - there's so many points of view, and sometimes it's not about who's right, because simply nobody is completely wrong in the conclusions they make. Except Hakuryuu, maybe. But Hakuryuu's an exception to many things. Including the consequences of his stupidass actions. But that's a rant for another day. But anyway, Sinbad isn't wrong to have doubts about Alibaba, just like Alibaba's fears aren't really out of place and irrational. That's just how it is sometimes.

On a different note, I also don't completely blame Sinbad for drinking here. Bro really went to restore trade with his country, then got caught up in this entire mess, and had to take charge there. He might be more together than Alibaba, but it doesn't mean he isn't stressing about it. I would say it's actually a decent way at humanizing Sinbad to us - he might be an amazing person, but he's still a person.

You go, girl.

Ok, it's a small difference, but I have mixed feelings about it. In the manga she talks about Alibaba on her way out, but here she starts while she's still in. Idk, I feel like the former gives you the impression that she was still deciding whether to say it or not, while the latter is like, yea, I overheard and came to argue.

Always gets me that this is how Morgiana views it. Alibaba didn't think so hard about it, he just did what he believed to be the right thing. It actually happens a lot with him - he doesn't realize how meaningful his gestures are to others, even the simple ones like offerring to be somebody's friend. And at times it comes off as man, this world really is sad that something so small is so important to the other person, but at times it's Alibaba not realizing how much he actually does, because to him it's just the barest minimum. Not enough to warrant more than simple thanks at most.

Once upon a time I was talking with a friend, and they've said that it wasn't Alibaba who broke the chains but Aladdin and Goltas, and the thing is, Alibaba would've been the first person to say that. To him, he did nothing of importance. To Morgiana, he told her she didn't need to be in the Dungeon, and then stayed in Qishan, freed all the slaves, made sure that being free is something that stuck with them, and only after that left. It changes so much about that Dungeon interaction, bc in Amon it was easy for her to see it as Alibaba trying to pretty much bribe her - which wouldn't have been that uncharacteristic for him - but once they left he didn't change his mind all of sudden. He more than proved that while, yes, sure, he tried to get her to stop attacking them, he still meant what he'd said. I feel like that was what recontextualized that entire interaction to her, and that's why she sees him like that benefactor.

On a different note, the smile he has in her imagination is really cute.

"I believe he can save this country."

Ok, sliiightly disappointing. In the manga the Banker literally lied to... I fucking hate this guys name, I always have to check the spelling, I'm gonna start calling you 23rd like my friend Henry does. Anyway, in the manga the Banker tells him that Kou isn't a brutal and strategic country, which in a cool way transitions to Sinbad saying that, yeah, they're a militaristic country, bad news. Here the Banker simply doesn't add that last part that they're not a danger at all, which, F.

Here that person has normal pants. Also, I haven't noticed the magi silhouette until now, F. Love how these guys always have braids.

No hilarious "Was it the same for you, Sinbad-san? / No, I'm different.". What a shame. Ok, there it is, later. "But I'm an exception.". I still think "No, I'm different." is a much funnier wording.

Oh, hey, in the anime they added Kouha and Koumei! I love Kouha's mad grin. You go, little murder boy, you go.

Kouha is kinda like Judar, except not an awful human being.

Haven't noticed until now, but they added chess here. Kinda random choice, but at the same time, it's a scene where they pretty much only talk, so maybe it was done to have, idk, some animation be there.

Back to the father-son thing, another thing Sinbad does is offer guidance (from Alibaba's perspective, at least). And it's worth noting the way Sinbad goes about it. Just like Cassim, he pretty much tells Alibaba what to do, but he's much gentler and more calculated about it. Cassim pretty much emotionally gut-punches him whenever Alibaba tries to question him to shut him up, while Sinbad let's him cool off. Not even that, Sinbad is actually trying to build up Alibaba's confidence there rather than drag it through the dirt. He talks about his father, how Rashid spoke about him etc, while Cassim constantly reminds him of something he blames himself for even though was compltely out of his control.

Sinbad: Alibaba, you're special. And a Dungeon Conqueror, just like me! : ) Alibaba: No.

The moment he sees Alibaba freak out abt the whole You need to become a King, he immediately offers his support.

I don't blame Alibaba for reacting like that. I would've gotten overwhelmed, too.

Damn. In the manga he looks more sad/disappointed. In the anime he looks kinda pissed.

Pretty

[nathank77]

3/19/24

5:41 a.m

So last week I ended up taking a higher dose of xanax multiple days. 2 days in a row. Then the day after a half. And then like 2 days after a half...

I also started mixing Benadryl and hydroxyzine in to the days I took the half because I had taken the 1 mg so many days..

I might have fucked myself. Let me go into depth.

To start I've noticed on Xanax I can usually fall asleep in 2 hours and stay asleep for 5 hours. If I get up to pee I'm fucked... I end up tossing and turning and being unable to fall back to sleep. If I don't pee I can usually pass right back out..

Sometimes I pee and I've been taking hydroxyzine and Benadryl right after I go so I can fall back to sleep and get my 7 hours. It has worked...

I'm worried those other days I took the half and mixed hydroxyzine and Benadryl in when i took the xanaz not hours later bc i had taken a 1 mg so many days that week. I mixed in the hydroxyzine and Benadryl bc of the interaction of sedation...

So out of these two weeks, I have fall asleep on a half mg of xanax twice... without adding Benadryl and hydroxyzine in a couple hours later to knock myself out...they were spread out like the 9th and the 14th or something like that.

Two nights ago I took the pill at 5:41 a.m and I ended up not falling asleep and taking a Benadryl 25MG and hydroxyzine 25MG at 8:22 a.m. I ended up closing my eyes ay 8:41 a.m and falling asleep prob by 9 am. I woke up at 3 p.m. I got about 6 hours of sleep. It wasn't enough but luckily the hallucination wasn't any worse..

Last night 3/18 I took the half at 5:05 a.m. I had one of the worst nights ever. I took benadryl 25MG and hydroxyzine 25MG at 7:42 a.m....

Then I still hadn't slept and I took another 25MG of both hydroxyzine and Benadryl at 8:55 a.m. I closed my eyes at 9:12 a.m and failure. I opened them at 9:48 a.m and I tried again. I either fell asleep for like 30 minutes maximum from 9:48-10:33 cause it is a little fuzzy but I def didn't sleep the entire time.. I must have fallen asleep by 11 a.m I didn't dose anything else past 9:48 8:55 a.m. I figured I'd just accept I couldn't sleep. I slept from 11 a.m to 3:30 p.m. I got only like hours of sleep maybe 4 hours and 45 minutes. Or 30 who knows...I went to the dentist obv.. and yea the hallucination wasn't terribly bad or anything but- I'm exhausted... and I'm aggravated. It's not terrible but it felt worse today than yesterday or a day with full sleep. I mean but I can attribute that to less concentration and focus as well as just irritatiablity...with lack of sleep and not being able to switch from Xanax to something better for sleep such as estrazolam... but yea it wasn't like the voice got creative or intelligent but it seems more intrusive and more stressful to deal with.

The days I slept without hydroxyzine and Benadryl on a half MG were, 3/16 but I did take Benadryl and hydroxyzine at 1:03 p.m when I woke up and peeded. But nonetheless a half MG did knock me out without any other drug. And then 3/9 which I didn't use hydroxyzine or Benadryl at all.

I'm worried I fucked myself but idk. We will find out. I was stressed about my dentist appt. Idk what happened Sunday.. cause I wasn't stressed. I'm hoping since the 16th occurred that will happen for me tomorrow night..

My eye doctor appt is at 3 p.m. There is no way in the world, I'm getting up for that appt with I mean even 6 hours of sleep cause I got to get up 2 or 2:30 the latest...so I'm taking the full MG tonight and I should sleep like a baby. If not I suppose I'll add Benadryl at some point and then hydroxyzine at another point... I don't think it'll come to that.

So tonight I should knock out on 1 mg.. tomorrow I'm hoping the half will be effective without anything else. I mean I have bloodwork on the 20th I'll skip it if I fall asleep late. It's not stressful I can reschedule. Tbh I'll reschedule the eye exam too if I absolutely have to. I'll see what happens. Let's cross our fingers that the half will be effective tomorrow when I'm less stressed cause I've had back to back responsibilities but yea I'll cancel worse case and sleep in.

Moving on I am seeing my doctor on the 28th about my insomnia. I'll be face to face with her and I'm going to tell her my black hairy tongue has not healed and show her as it's a direct side effect of xanax. And then I'm going to ask for estrazolam 2mg or doral 15 mg. She was only going to give me 7.5 mg of temazepam and on the benzodiazepine equivalency chart 20-30 mg is equivalent to 0.5-1.mg of xanax which is why I didn't do it.... although I did this all over the phone so maybe seeing me a month later face to face and seeing my tongue hasn't healed and it's not yeast or viral... Maybe she will hear me out. I need something equivalent to the 1mg xanax I am on.

I'm going to ask her for doral 15mg or estrazolam 2 mg and show her the chart and say the only reason I'm sleeping is fucking xanax and it saved my life but I'd rather my tongue stay this way and sleep then risk full blown insomnia.

I picked estrazolam 2mg bc they come in 1 and 2 and 2 is equal to 1 mg of xanax per this chart... it's a better insomnia benzo cause it's made for insomnia unlike xanax... and if she won't do that cause she wants to do the lowest dose possible then I'll ask for doral another insomnia benzodiazepine that comes on 15 mg tablets... it's equivalent to 1MG of xanax. I'll show her the chart, and I'm hoping face to face Interaction, and facts will help my case. I won't hold my breath. I expect I'll end up going to the psychiatrist... but Prohealth is fucking reliable af. That's the issue. Psychiatrists are not. Maybe I'll just have black hairy tongue for the rest of my life to make sure I sleep. I don't think I'm going to depend on a psychiatrist and end up getting fucked in the end....

Prohealth is truly reliable and once I get another benzodiazepine from someone else they will stop prescribing it. I may not be able to get her to reperscribe it....

So yea I'm stressed about that. Hopefully BHT and face to face will change things when I show her this chart.

At some point I may start smoking weed again, I mean I didn't need to take 400 different drugs to sleep. I slept solidly throughout the night and my fucking tongue needs to heal. I hope the 28th goes well. Weed is a big decision I'm really going to think about it and see how the 28th goes.

Also what makes matter worse is my sleep environment.. I can't sleep in silence bc otherwise I hear the voice. It's maddening. I don't want to listen to being scared bc I want cartoon mental pictures. Happy ones. Not realistic ones...

So I listen to bobs burgers or American dad. Something with a lot of dialogue bc it tunes the voice out. Unfortunately there is all this singing and loud noise. Bare in mind I turn it down as much as I can where I can hear the dialogue clearly but i do need hearing aids.

Bobs has to be at like 18 or 19 volume. American dad for some reason can be at 14 volume. Nonetheless it isn't a good slept environment. Loud noisy singing and clattering versus hearing happy birthday 50000 times. And not to mention trying to think positive thoughts and think over aka align with the voice so that's what I hear. I gave up on that months ago.

Either way I guess I'll figure it out. I just took my 1 mg Xanax. And I fucking hate Kristen fucking dew. I've don't nothing this week with her but later this week I will. I got to get my general health taken care of first.

Weed may need to happen cause I feel like a pilll head popping everything I can just to hit sleep stage one.

Beyond that- my thyroid is clearly close to normal. No doubt. Graves can cause insomnia. I haven't seen a single fucking improvement in that regard unfortunately.

Hopefully it's still higher than it should be and once it normalized it fixes it... idk... I have options but it's getting down I might as well smoke a little weed everyday and go back to sleeping like a baby at the risk of making psychosis worst. I'll still have xanax....

Idk. I don't feel entirely hopeless but I am truly worried about the half MG losing effectiveness. Nonetheless I will sleep everyday and soon it will be 7 hours again. And I'll cancel things if i have to, to get my 7 hours. There is no reason to stress out.

I just wrote a book but it helped. Cause this is one of the reasons I can't sleep in silence. Even if this POS hallucination shut up finally, I don't have a ton of positive thoughts but if it did stop Id start listening to being scared again.

Lastly I hate having to see Mike again. I saw him today and he cut me off so much as I tried to explain my Xanax/sleep schedule thing that it took me about 55 minutes to get it out when I would have been able to say it all in 25 minutes if he just shut up about movies and BS and let me talk... I had so many othet things I needed to talk about hence the book I just wrote.

I got to find another therapist who can read a fucking room stfu and listen and wait until I stop talking. I want your input but fucking let me finish what I'm fucking saying so I can get it fucking out

I'm ending this rant with the equivalence chart cause it's factually I need a higher dose of another benzo. I carefully picked estrazolam and especially doral cause it comes only in 15 mg capsules...... please prohealth fucking help me.

[genshinluvr]

First Crush and First Love

Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader

Summary: Everyone has a first crush and their first love! Whether it's a real person or a fictional character, the fifteen men (specifically Childe) are curious about who was the first one to have stolen your heart.

Note: Hello! Another late-ish update since I did have some things to do at my university. I didn't have much time to add some stuff to this week's story because of that and I did have essays to turn in for my sociology class and it took up a lot of time. Anyway, I don't know when I'll be able to get back to typing out a story that is around 6k words, it'll probably be a while because I am approaching the end of the semester very soon and more exams are popping up again. Unfortunately... ;v; This is a short-ish story, it's more of a filler. Anywho! To my new and returning readers, I post on AO3 as well, so, if you have an AO3 and see a work similar to this, it’s me (Aaliah_exo on AO3). I don’t post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: None? Slightly sad on the reader's end, depending on how you view it. Maybe slightly angsty, but it's not too bad!

Word Count: 4.5k

Poke.

“Psst!”

You scrunched your face up and snuggled closer to your pillow, ignoring the light poke on your cheek.

Poke.

“Wake up!”

You pull your blanket closer to your face and turn on your side, still fast asleep. But unfortunately, that did not last as long as you’d hope it would. It was still early in the morning (it was 6 AM), and you were finally getting the entire night of rest that you very much needed.

“Psst! [Y/N]! Wake up!”

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

Your eyelashes fluttered as you were slowly coming into consciousness. Your eyelids still felt heavy, so you let your eyelids close to get more sleep. Seeing that you weren’t going to wake up any time soon, the person groans softly before continuing what they were doing.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

“Wake up, [Y/N]!” The person whispers loudly, continuing to poke you repeatedly until you let out a mix of a groan and a whine. You cracked your eyes opened and rubbed your eyes with the heel of your palm.

“What is it, Childe?” You mumble, looking up at the man that was hovering above you. His arms were caging you against your bed as he stared down at you with his eyebrows knitted together with concentration as he watched you reluctantly wake up.

“I have something important to ask you, and I demand that you answer them!” Childe states, pouting down at you. You stared up at Childe, completely ignoring his declaration while your eyes scanned his features. His ginger locks were disheveled, sticking all over the place, and he had a prominent pout on his face; he was also wearing nothing but sweat pants that hung very low on his hips. Dangerously low. You feel heat rush to your cheeks when you feel Childe poke you on the cheeks once more to grab your attention.

“Hey! Look at me and answer my question, will you?” He whines, tilting your face up with a small pout on his face. You could tell that Childe was fighting back a teasing grin. 

You huffed, “I am looking at you!” Childe cocks an eyebrow at your comment.

“You were looking at my body, not my handsome face, snookums!” Childe teases, poking you lightly once more.

“Well, you wanted me to answer a question you never asked?” You questioned, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I did ask you a question! But it seems like you were too busy drooling over me to hear what I had asked you.” Childe smirks.

You stared up at Childe blankly and blinked at him owlishly. Wait, did he really ask you something, or was he saying that just to mess with you? Knowing Childe, he wouldn’t tell you the truth on whether he did ask you something or not, just to mess with you. You huffed and looked away from Childe’s teasing stare, cheeks bright red. Childe chuckles and leans down, pressing a big sloppy kiss on your cheeks, making you squeak.

“Oh, snookums! You’re too cute!” Childe coos. He leans down and nuzzles the tip of his nose against your cheeks, arms still caging you against your bed.

“You’re quite affectionate today.” You sighed, too tired to push him off of you. “Now, can you please repeat the question that you asked me?” You scrunched your face up as Childe continued to shower you with kisses.

Before Childe could reply to your question, your bedroom door slams open, revealing fourteen men gathered at your bedroom door. Childe was immediately yanked off of you by both Xiao and Scaramouche. Electricity crackles in Scaramouche’s hands, threatening to zap Childe. Xiao’s hands were itching and twitching to get his polearm to shove it up of Childe’s ass for waking you up so early in the morning. And for touching you and putting his disgusting chapped lips all over you. Xiao wants to do nothing more than smack Childe.

“Why’d you wake them up!?” Xiao demands, glaring at the smug Harbinger. Childe crossed his arms over his bare chest with a shit-eating grin, ignoring the subtle and not-so-subtle glares that were shot in his direction.

“I had to ask them the question that you guys were too scared to ask them!” Childe huffs, pouting at them Childe-ishly. 

“And you decided to rouse them from their slumber just to ask them a silly question?” Dainsleif asks, glaring at the Harbinger. Childe nods his head; the pout on Childe’s face is replaced with a proud grin.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! It wasn’t a silly question! It was a question that we were all wondering about and needed answers for!” Itto spoke up, breaking through the crowd of men. Now that you have gotten a better look at all fifteen men, they were all still wearing their pajamas. Some were just almost naked (Itto).

“And what would those questions be? Childe wouldn’t tell me what it is!” You groaned, forcing yourself to sit up on your bed.

“I did tell you what my question was! You were just distracted by my sexy physique!” Childe shoots a wink in your direction. You covered your face with your hands, internally groaning at Childe’s constant teasing. You plopped back down on your bed and pulled the blanket over your head.

“It’s too early for this. Either ask me the question or let me continue my sleep in peace.” Your voice was muffled underneath the mountain of blankets you have on your bed. 

Don’t you get overheated from the number of blankets you have on your bed? Does the amount of blankets make it hard for you to move around when you sleep? The men never understood as to why you needed so many blankets. Not to mention the number of plushies that were given to you by the men themselves. 

Your first-ever plush in Teyvat was given to you by Itto. It was a cute stuffed onikabuto, and it can also be a pillow! Seeing the look on your face when you were given a cute giant onikabuto plush, the others have decided to get you a plush as well that resembles them in a way. It was really cute! But the number of plushies in your collection continued to grow until it got to the point where you didn’t have much space on your bed to sleep.

So, Albedo and Gorou have taken into account to build you a chest and shelf where you can place your ever-growing plushie collection. One plushie you have decided to keep on your bed was the damn jumbo-sized Rex Lapis exuvia plushie that you were gushing over a couple of months ago. Although the colossal Rex Lapis exuvia plushie wasn’t the only one you kept on your bed, it was also the onikabuto that Itto had given you. Strangely enough, you were pretty attached to these stuffed animals. Emotionally attached, might I add— much to the men’s dismay. Why couldn’t you be emotionally attached to them instead of being emotionally attached to a bunch of punchable stuffed animals that can’t fight back?

“We wanted to know who was your first crush and your first love!” Gorou says, his tail swishing from side to side with both excitement and anticipation. 

“My first crush and my first love?” You popped up from underneath your blankets and quickly came out from under the blankets.

“That’s right! We were curious about who was the first one to steal your heart.” Kazuha nods his head as he leans against your bedroom wall.

“What started this conversation exactly?” You raised your eyebrows at them, quickly fixing your bedhead.

“We were just curious about who this person might be,” Albedo says, shrugging his shoulders. You stared at Albedo and at the others. They seem to be at the edge of their seats, waiting for you to answer their burning questions regarding your first crush and first love.

An hour before you were woken up from your sleep by Childe, the men were lounging around in the kitchen, sipping on their tea and coffee. It was a quiet morning, everyone had woken up from their sleep earlier than usual, but that didn’t stop them from wondering about your private life before you appeared in their world.

“Do you think that [Y/N] has a boyfriend in their world?” Venti asks, blowing on the steaming hot coffee (thankfully, it wasn’t alcohol because who drinks alcohol at 5 AM?). Everyone in the kitchen paused at Venti’s question and looked over at him blankly; some were deep in thought, thinking about the answer to Venti’s question.

“Do you mean by [Y/N] being currently in a relationship or their past relationship?” Ayato asks, sipping his tea while sitting between Thoma and Zhongli.

“Hmmm… both!” Venti replies, placing his cup of coffee down on the wooden table in front of him.

“Well, [Y/N] hasn’t mentioned anything about a boyfriend or relationship when they’ve arrived in our world,” Thoma replies, crossing his arms over his chest as he gnaws on his bottom lip.

“I believe we never asked them about their relationship status when we first met them,” Zhongli spoke up, clearing his throat as he looked over at the others around him with his amber eyes. “Quite frankly, I believe that the topic has yet to emerge when we have a conversation with [Y/N].”

“Well, now I am curious about who could be this mysterious man that has stolen our precious [Y/N]’s heart.” Kaeya hums, stroking his chin.

Diluc sighs softly, “I believe that it’s best that we don’t touch on this topic. After all, if [Y/N] wants to talk about their relationship, they should do it on their own terms.” Diluc leans back in his seat.

Baizhu chuckles softly, “Oh? Are you not at least a little bit curious about who was the first one to steal [Y/N]’s heart?” He raises his eyebrows at Diluc with a small smirk on his face. Diluc sighs and looks away from Baizhu, lifting his cup from the table before taking a sip from it.

“It’s their personal life; I’d rather not intrude,” Diluc mutters, rolling his eyes. 

The others muttered to themselves, debating on whether they should agree to Diluc’s comment or pester you about your love life. Was there someone that stole your heart in your world? Did that person make you as happy as they did? There were so many questions that they wanted to ask you, but you were sleeping peacefully in your bedroom. They didn’t want to disturb your sleep just to ask you about your love life.

“Do you think [Y/N] had all of their firsts with that person?” Kaeya asks, tapping on his chin while squinting his eye at the thought.

“Firsts? What do you mean by firsts?” Scaramouche asks, leaning against the table, intrigued with what Kaeya was asking about.

“Oh, you know, first kiss, first date, first argument, first time…” Kaeya trails off.

“First time?” Dainsleif looks at Kaeya skeptically.

“Sex, he’s talking about sex!” Thoma comments, his cheeks and the tips of his ears turning redder than his t-shirt.

Thoma’s comment woke everyone up; suddenly, they were more alert and awake. They began talking to one another, trying to figure out whether you had had all of your firsts with some other man in your world or not. Just the thought of you experiencing all of your firsts with another man that wasn’t them made them feel on edge.

“No way! [Y/N]’s not the type to have sex with someone they don’t know!” Itto exclaims, huffing loudly with a childish pout on his face. The men around him wince at the sheer volume of Itto’s exclamation, hoping that it didn’t wake you up from your slumber.

“And how do you know that exactly? [Y/N] could have been with that person for a few years before coming into our world, and they could have done many things with their potential partner.” Ayato sighs softly, shaking his head at Itto’s outburst.

“What if [Y/N] and their lover made plans to get married!?” Gorou panics, his eyes widening in fear.

“And what if [Y/N] was supposed to get married to their lover but didn’t get to because they were sucked into our world!?” Itto asks, tightening his grip around the mug so tightly that the glass mug shattered.

“My mug!” Thoma whines, getting up from his seat to grab a broom and a dustpan to sweep the shards of glass from the ground.

Zhongli looks over at Childe, who was oddly silent the entire time. Childe sat in his seat across from Zhongli, staring down at his now cold cup of coffee; his jaws were clenched shut. Childe crossed his arms over his bare chest, his index finger lightly tapping on his biceps. Childe looked tensed, almost jealous. Zhongli can see faint steam coming from Childe’s ears.

“Childe, you’re oddly quiet today. Mora for your thoughts?” Zhongli speaks up, looking at Childe with an eyebrow raised. Childe sighs to himself and shakes his head, looking away from Zhongli. “What’s the matter, Childe? Are you upset?” Zhongli asks, lifting his teacup before taking a small sip from the porcelain teacup. Again, Childe doesn’t respond to Zhongli’s question. Ayato sighs softly and shakes his head at Childe’s attitude. 

“It seems like the topic of [Y/N]’s intimate life upsets him,” Ayato murmurs to Zhongli, looking over at the former archon from the corner of his eyes.

“It seems so.” Zhongli hums softly. “The topic does irk me a little bit, but it seems like it irks Childe way more than it does with the rest of us,” Zhongli added, shaking his head.

“Does he think he has the chance with [Y/N]? He can wait in line like the rest of us.” Xiao muttered, huffing to himself. 

Scaramouche scoffs, “As if he’d get a chance with [Y/N]. He’s insufferable, and I believe that [Y/N] wouldn’t even breathe in his direction. Let alone look at him.” Scaramouche rolls his eyes.

“Well, we’re not too sure about that. [Y/N] is a little unpredictable.” Albedo spoke up, stirring his coffee with the metal spoon, deep in his thoughts.

“Out of all fifteen of us, who do you think [Y/N] would choose?” Kazuha asks.

“My, my. Why ask a difficult question?” Baizhu chuckles, shaking his head.

“Everyone here would choose themselves instead of choosing who they think [Y/N] would end up with,” Dainsleif muttered, shaking his head.

“Oh? Then out of fifteen of us, who do you think [Y/N] would choose?” Kaeya asks, propping himself up on the table, looking at Dainsleif curiously. “And don’t say yourself,” Kaeya adds, tapping his fingers against his cheeks. Dainsleif sighs and closes his eyes, leaning back in his seat, and takes a moment to think for himself. 

Dainsleif opens his eyes before stating, “Zhongli.” Everyone falls silent, stares at Dainsleif, and then glances over at the ex archon.

“Zhongli?” Kazuha blinks at Dainsleif, unsure of how he should react to Dainsleif’s answer. Heck, the others feel the same way as Kazuha! Other than feeling hurt and a little offended that Dainsleif didn’t choose him.

“Why Zhongli?” Venti pouts, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Huh, is that so? What does Zhongli have that I don’t have?” Diluc’s eyebrows were furrowed as he tried to contemplate over what Zhongli could possibly have that Diluc doesn’t have. Was it the glowing amber eyes? The unlimited knowledge of the history of Teyvat?  

“Why choose Zhongli when you can choose me instead? I got muscles and horns!” Itto huffs; his bottom lip was jutting out, forming a pout.

“Care to explain as to why you’ve chosen Zhongli out of all of us?” Albedo asks, tilting his head to the side as he strokes his chin.

Dainsleif sighs, rolling his eyes. “Do I need to have a reason why I’ve chosen Zhongli?” 

“Yes,” Xiao replies immediately, staring at Dainsleif intensely as he waits for the blond male to give a good reason on why he chose the former archon.

Dainsleif sighs, “I’ve seen the way [Y/N] looks at Zhongli. If [Y/N] had to choose someone, they will most likely pick Zhongli.” He crosses his arms over his chest before continuing, “Out of everyone, it seems like Zhongli cares about [Y/N] the most. Yes, we all care about them, but Zhongli does it in a subtle way every time he sees [Y/N] or when he’s with [Y/N].” 

“Is it because he’s a former archon?” Scaramouche sighs.

“He’s an archon!?!” Itto screeches, looking at Scaramouche and Zhongli with eyes the size of dinner plates.

“I’m really curious if anyone had stolen [Y/N]’s heart before they were brought into our world,” Albedo mutters, squinting his eyes.

“Well, why don’t we ask [Y/N] ourselves?” Gorou offers, crossing his arms over his chest.

“[Y/N] is sleeping right now. We can’t wake them up just because we wanted to know about their love life.” Baizhu sighs, shaking his head in disapproval.

“It’s also still five in the morning. [Y/N] doesn’t get up until seven or eight in the morning.” Thoma commented, dumping the shattered mug into the trash bin in the kitchen with a small huff of breath.

“It’s best we let [Y/N] sleep and not disturb their rest with a bunch of questions,” Diluc speaks up, sipping on his cup of coffee.

“I agree.” Kazuha nods his head.

Unbeknownst to the men, Childe slipped away from his seat and crept up the stairs towards your bedroom as they were having a small discussion on how it’s best to let you sleep in and not disturb your rest. Childe approaches your bedroom door and grabs onto the doorknob; he gently twists the knob before peeking his head into your bedroom. Your room was dark; the only light that was illuminating your bedroom was the small shell lamp on your desk. It was cute and endearing. Have you always slept with a light on? Were you afraid of sleeping in complete darkness? Childe can see faint light shining into your bedroom through the crack of the window curtains.

Childe looks behind to make sure that no one is around to see him walk into your bedroom while you’re asleep. Satisfied, Childe walks further into your bedroom and quietly closes the door behind him. He hears the soft click of the bedroom door shutting entirely behind him. Childe walks towards your bed and slowly climbs onto your bed, careful not to wake you up. Usually, you were a light sleeper, but it seems like you were exhausted because you didn’t wake up to the feeling of the bed dipping as he caged you to your bed with his arms.

“How cute!” Childe coos internally, snickering silently to himself when he caught the sight of you slightly drooling in your sleep. Thinking of a way to wake you up from your slumber, an idea pops up in his mind. Childe pokes you in the cheek with his index finger, waiting to get a reaction out of you.

Poke.

Childe pouts and pokes you on your cheek once more. You didn’t react. Instead, you continued to sleep. Your chest rises and falls with each gentle breath, still fast asleep. Totally oblivious to Childe’s intent on disturbing your sleep to pester you about your love life. He was not going to stop poking you until you woke up and answered his (and the others) burning questions!

“And that’s how we’re here!” Venti smiles innocently. You run your hands through your hair with a sigh.

“Childe only woke me up at six in the morning just to find out who my first crush and first love was?” You cocked your eyebrow at the ginger Harbinger in front of you. Childe smiles at you innocently and nods his head.

“We didn’t think he would sneak off and rouse you from your sleep.” Zhongli shakes his head in disapproval, shooting a look at Childe, who ignored the look that Zhongli shot in his direction.

“Well, now I’m awake!” You sighed, tossing the blanket off of your body as you grabbed the onikabuto plush, hugging it close to your chest. “Guess that means I should answer the question now, huh?” You rubbed your eyes with a small yawn.

“Yes.” Xiao nods his head.

“Indeed.” Ayato hums.

“I need answers!” Gorou pipes up, looking at you with anticipation.

“We need answers!” Scaramouche corrects Gorou, looking at the male from the corner of his eyes with a tiny frown on his face.

“No pressure, of course!” Thoma quickly adds, giving you a small reassuring smile.

“Everyone is quite curious about what your answer is, might I add.” Baizhu gives you a smile.

“Oh, I know!” You snorted. “I can see it on all of their faces.” The men can feel heat rise on their faces at your comment. Each and every single one of their faces turned bright red and bright pink. You cleared your throat and scanned through your brain, trying to recall a memory of this so-called first crush and first love. The men watch your face closely, on the edge of their seats, waiting for you to say who was the first one to claim your heart.

“To be really honest, I don’t remember who was my first ever crush…” You scratch your cheek, your eyebrow furrowing as you try to think back to the earliest time of your life. “It was probably a fictional character instead of a real person.” You muttered, stroking your chin.

“A fictional character?!” The men exclaim simultaneously, giving you an incredulous look. You giggled at their reaction and nodded your head.

“Yes, a fictional character! In my world, all of you are just fictional characters as well. But since I am in your world, you’re all pretty real to me.” You give them a tiny smile.

“Okay, so, a fictional character is your first crush…” Scaramouche gives you a weird look.

“Hey! If I was in my world, you’re all fictional characters. Therefore, I do have crushes on fictional characters!” You huffed, looking away from them with a pout on your face.

“Oh? So you have a crush on all of us?” Kaeya teases you, wiggling his eyebrows at you suggestively. You feel your face heat up at Kaeya’s comment and don’t reply, continuing to look away from them.

“Well, I’m not denying anything.” You muttered.

“Okay, then what about first love?” Diluc asks.

You let out a sheepish laugh as you scratched the back of your neck awkwardly. How were you going to explain this to them? Would they make fun of you for it? Could this change their perspective of you if you were to reveal this information? Regardless of that, it’s too late to go back now.

“I… never had a first love.” You said softly.

“What?” Itto looks at you quizically.

“What do you mean you never had a first love?” Xiao asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Surely, you’ve been in a relationship before, correct?” Albedo asks. You snorted and shook your head at Albedo’s question.

“I’ve never been in a relationship before.” You answered, crossing your legs under you as you pulled the blanket into your lap.

“How?! You’re so cute, loveable, sweet, and everything I want in a lover!” Thoma exclaims; his cheeks were ablaze. His face was almost as red as his shirt after his exclamation. You give Thoma a small smile, trying your best to hold back a snort.

“In my world, people have this standard of beauty and what they want in a lover. I never reach these said requirements.” You sighed, leaning up against the wooden headboard of your bed. “I did have crushes, sure, but the feelings were never mutual.” You start fiddling with the onikabuto plush. Great. How were you going to explain all of this without bursting into tears over how pathetic your love life was? Or your lack of love life, to be more specific.

“I’m not considered desirable in my world. I’m not shaped a certain way, my skin tone is either too dark too light, my hair isn’t a certain texture or length, and I’m either too tall or too short.” You chuckled bitterly, shaking your head with frustration. “People don’t consider me to be attractive or desirable because I don’t fit the standard of beauty in my world’s society.” Your shoulders slump as you hug your knees to your chest.

Recalling these old memories and your insecurities made your heart clench in your chest. Even though strangers didn’t want you, your family didn’t even want you either. All they do is compare you to your cousins or siblings.

“Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

“Why can’t you be more like your sister?”

“Your cousin just graduated from a prestigious university today! When will you go to college and be useful for once?”

“Do you really think that people would want to date someone as undesirable and useless as you?”

You shake the thoughts away from your head, avoiding their intense gaze. You tighten your grip around your knees as you swallow the lump in your throat. Your throat and eyes began to sting with tears that were threatening to fall.

“I never had a decent relationship. All of these relationships meant nothing to them while I put so much energy into it while they did nothing at all.” You sniffled, biting down on your bottom lip. “From my “relationships,” I learned that I fall for people too easily and that I get taken advantage of very easily.” You whispered, gently tugging on the onikabuto’s antlers. “It’s easy to replace me and take advantage of me.” You hummed. Everything around you fell silent as you continued to stare at the purple onikabuto plush in front of you.

“Now you have your answer. My first crush is most likely a fictional character, and my first love is nonexistent.” You commented. You looked up at the fifteen men. Before you could blink, Venti, Itto, Gorou, and Childe tackles you down on your bed.

“Oi! Don’t you dare talk down on yourself!” Xiao hollers, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah! Don’t you dare say anything bad about yourself!” Itto buries his face into your stomach, tightening his grip around you.

“Those people don’t deserve you at all! They don’t deserve any of your love and kindness!” Gorou speaks up, gently cupping your face in his hands. He gazed down at you with puppy dog eyes as he wiped away the stray tear that made its way down your cheeks. You feel your bottom lip quiver at Gorou’s comment, tears blurring your vision.

“Stooooop! You’re going to make me cry! It’s too early!” You whined, gently hitting Gorou’s chest with your fist.

Gorou pulls you into his chest and pats your head gently. “I will be your first love.” Was the last thing the fifteen men think before they all surround you on your bed to comfort you, wiping your tears away while trying to cheer you up. The people in your world truly did not deserve you at all.

Note: Yea, so, it got a little depressing in the end, but that's okay! I know this is posted at like, midnight, but pretend this was posted on Saturday instead! I'm just hoping that I can type out something much longer next time! Even though I have a criminology exam coming up in like a day or two. I will start accepting requests very soon! I'm not sure when exactly. I got like two requests already on AO3 and on Tumblr, so I'm going to try to get something started for them very soon and we'll see what happens from there! For some reason, I can't tag a lot of people in the new beta editor... Anyway, I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

Taglist for "Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader" and my overall taglist: @plumpkie, @ehjane, @neilify, @jiminscarmex, @urcatbf, @emperatris-rinaka, @hello13576, @patata52, @dogloveri23, @permanent-antipathy, @xiaosfirstandlastwife, @angryhope, @xxkatsusjinsux, @stygianoir, @ksjjkthpjm, @emerald-smile, @jixlem, @bananazzzen, @skyelightwood, @honeybedo, @chaosinanutshell, @the-blob-fish, @the-dendro-archon, @crazyrichdaughter, @pencil-of-ashes, @hey-comrade-hold-still, @margraveth, @ayazaraxia, @samarill, @beepboopisguilty, @bakuhve, @mikiwylds, @jaisithebird, @mouchie, @jgydeservedbetter, @goldeneclipsedragon, @sucker-for-angst-and-fluff, @thedivinepriestress, @yukima,

Taglist Google Form [here], Masterlist [here]

[jinnaga]

[TEASER] CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT — JJK.

PAIRING jungkook x (female) reader

GENRE smut, fluff and angst 😁 (she's an all rounder yall!)

SUMMARY Law school was an extremely competitive environment so you didn't really have the luxury to get to know a person on a deep level to have a romantic relationship with them, and so, you've been feeling lonely these past few months, having this urge to just... feel something from another human being. Maybe you're looking for love, a fling, a dalliance of some sort, but with your BAR exam coming, you can't exactly date – no, dating someone is gonna add to your long list of problems, put another weight to the stress and pressure you're already carrying and you can't risk the drama it entails... but when your best friend proposes an idea of a situationship to you, you didn't think it sounds too bad.

[THE FOLLOWING DETAILS ONLY APPLY TO THE FIRST PART OF THE SERIES]

ESTIMATED W/C 10k 😐 might be more though because im still finishing up one scene and haven't really edited anything yet soo

WARNING(S)/MISC best friend!jk, very sexy software engineer!jk <<3 (i always imagine him going to college as a compsci major and it makes me dizzy every single time😵), law student!reader (or rather, a graduate in law since she's already reviewing for bar in this story), features the rest of the bts babes and some of the 97liners, fwb!au, vmin are boyfriends here <3, talks about silly crushes and sex, oc has a nipple piercing raaahhhh, explicit smut in the forms of: oral sex (f receiving), penetrative sex but protected 👍🏼, boob sucking lol, praises ?? hmm and i forgot the rest. other misc includes: jk being a dog dad ♥️ (we FUCKING LOVE YOU BAM!), oc suffering from bar reviews, tatted jk sighs, also have i mentioned that jk has a.... lot of piercings in this story? 🤨 anyways that's all i can rmr from what i wrote i'll add what ive forgotten when i post the actual first part! (ps don't forget to imagine in the soop s2 jungkook except his hair is longer like this)

POSTING DATE nov 24th on wednesday, 2am kst

NOTES hey guys very excited to share this with you all 😁 this will be a 4-part series and i hope you will look forward to it!! [update: taglist is closed!]

TEASER W/C 0.5k

CLICK HERE FOR FULL FIRST PART!

He's quiet for a while, then he looks at you. "You want me to be honest with you?"

You're taken aback by the placid tone of his words and his eyes never leaving your own as he spoke them. It somehow makes you feel a little nervous. You try not to gulp too visibly. "O-of course."

The corners of his mouth stretched, as if amused by the way you stutter to such a simple question.

"Can I ask you something first, then?" He asks, and although still hesitant, you nod. Jeongguk continues, "Do you find me attractive?"

The question was so unpredictable that you couldn't possibly hide the shock on your face. He raised his eyebrow, waiting for your response, but nothing came out from you so soon like he expected.

It makes you think. Do you find Jeongguk attractive?

Of fucking course. Duh!

Literally, who wouldn't? On the outside, he's disgustingly handsome, sometimes it makes you pissed how attractive he is, got a body that's just the right buff and big… He's also tall, and the full sleeve tattoo around the entirety of his right arm and piercings on both his lip and brow really add to his naturally oozing charm. Beyond all that superficial aspects though is his kind heart. Jeongguk is, above all, a really good person. Someone you can confide in, someone you can count on. He's someone who has a funny and warm disposition. He's confident in a way that's not bordering on arrogant, just very good at carrying himself that it's… somewhat – okay, not somewhat – it is sexy and hot that he just knows.

On top of that, he's intelligent as hell. Jeongguk is a software engineer in this big tech company hence why he's also rich. He literally has this big ass, grossly priced apartment in Gangnam (where you currently are, by the way. You say it's grossly priced because you know it's expensive as fuck, you're not about to lie and say it's overpriced as his place is really something) because his job pays him well and he's great at it.

He's the total dream guy if you have to be extremely honest and truth be told, if he wasn't one of your closest friends – probably your closest friend – you would've hit on him a long time ago.

"Yeah," you tell him sincerely because there's no point in lying.

There's a grin on his face when he hears your answer.

"I'm glad because I'm about to tell you that I find you attractive too."

You can feel your heart doing a flip or two inside your ribcage, but you ignore the feeling right away, rolling your eyes at him just to prove a point. "Are you saying that because you don't want to embarrass me? It's fine, you can be honest with me."

Immediately shaking his head, Jeongguk stares at you in a way that makes you think he's a little offended with what you said. For what though, you have no idea.

"No? I know you know you're pretty. It's a common fact among friends and people you don't know personally."

There's a rush of heat that spreads throughout your cheeks at his compliment. He sounded like you shouldn't even be questioning it too, nonchalant in a way, but you're not really good with compliments so you try to get a way out.

"Really? Is that your type?" You raised a brow. "Pretty girls?"

Your joke backfires.

With a playful smirk playing on his lips, his answer was an instant, "Yeah."

all rights reserved. jinnaga © 2021.

[charmixpower]

Rewatching season 1 (and actually paying attention to Sky to figure out what the fuck everyone is talking about): Part 5

EP 21:

Bloom will barely react to near death but will shun herself after a break up, nothing about her priorities are normal

✨⭐ Shine bright like a diamond ⭐✨

Stella should be exhausted from melting all this ice

Daphne is suddenly blue now

Who the FUCK is that voice when she grabbed the crown

"the king and queen of Domino, convinced they lost both their daughters chose to go into exile to grive."

.....I forgot that up to the first movie was planned, yeah them bitches were always ment to be alive huh

If Bloom is about 5'6, and Daphne is more than full head taller than her

Daphne is at least 6'0 ok???

Also blue Daphne!!

"I'm off to find you!" Daphne is alive??? And hiding??? Also Bloom referring to Daphne in third person

This episode has one to the best pre transformation scenes!!! They way they all jump up!!!

I guess we all know if Flora would of passed the bringing life to a desolate planet exam now :)

Tecna should turn her hood into a helmet more often

Musa finally using her focus in combat!!!!

(magical tools like Stella's "sword" and Nabu's staff are called focuses now bc they help focus magic, yes I'm bad at names)

"Isn't there a saying that goes the best defence is a good offence!"

Stella takes only offensive magic and basic magic classes confirmed

Tecna cracking so many jokes about Bloom being a princess

Musa's speaker spells are the best, just under her disco ball spells

I love how Bloom just hits shit when she can't transform, love her

Flora doesn't have any true offensive spells (spells that hurt on impact) she creates plants to attack (which is technically categorized as defensive and I need better names)

Stella: Cool ✨💖

Stella: wait I'm supposed to be mad at you, I retract that cool

Holy shit I didn't realize how fucking big that thing was until now

Bloom being a leader and telling Tecna what to do even while she can't do anything herself...it was ment to be

They could use version of convergence in s1, the mixing of magical spells, but cannot use true convergence, the mixing of raw magic

Stella is being so nice to Brandon for how angry she was

Bloom you are accepting Sky's apology wayyy too fucking fast

He doesn't get that apology accepted until at least the season finale, come on! Cheating is like one of the the biggest dick moves you can make in a relationship!!

Sky really really said "you always said I was your friend and nothing more", trying to put this on her omg, are the writers ok???

Bloom should of smacked the shit out of him for that one 💕💞

Winx club acknowledge that you have two of your male leads starting off as huge pieces of shit, and not just one 💗

"I forgive you" NO TF YOU DON'T

Oh wow this is making me angry at the writers. You had a another perfectly good meow meow in need of a redemption arc and a scene where he confronts the bad parts of himself and you throw it away to let Sky be the prince in shining armor

*ripping Sky out of the hands of the writers* I'll give him consequences!!!! And a character arc!!!!! AND ITS GONNA HAVE BLACK JACK AND—

Hmmmm of course the Sky Riven rivalry needs to be less one sided, to make it more obvious that their both bastards. Add a couple parallel scenes of Darcy/Riven, Sky/Diaspro (if I'm smart enough to do that), to set up Diaspro mind controlling Sky in s3. A few moments of each girl commenting on how Sky can be kinda a dick, a jokingly slightly snide comment about how "at least Riven isn't hiding he's a jackass", make a little Brandon glaring a hole though Sky's head all though out s1 on the top for flavor.....tbh I don't know what anyone was expecting. My favorite characters are Riven and Musa, I like it when characters are kinda bad people and have to learn to be better. Thats fucking god tier

If they just leaned into this angle of Sky being raised wrong and trying to unlearn his worst behaviors but still fucking up royally, with maybe a heart to heart about why he makes these horrible decisions sometimes, I'd like him a lot more!!

Idk in arguments with Bloom it's like he's not allowed to be straight up wrong, it's like none of the girls are allowed to be straight up wrong, cringe. I'm going to hit Sky with a stick labeled "character development" and "flavor" I'll be back

I'm actually going to punch Sky 💕💞, who told you your allowed to be happy rn? Your supposed to be as miserable as Riven rn, go to your corner cheater

EP 22:

Bloom should be way more unhappy about the Knut thing after her parents nearly died lol

Red Fountain castle....these schools are castles

Literally all of the Winx are making eye contact with eachother when Fragona says "the boys will stay here for now", Tecna may be aroace but she loves and supports her allos

OMG ITS HERE

Riven does (1) self reflection

Can he hear Stormy and Darcy talking out side of his cell about messing with his head???? Wait, kids show nvm

Why is Riven reacting so strongly, like he knows this is just Darcy right?

What is that thing??? Is that one of the army of decay but recolored or is that Darcy's original monster do not steal

Riven regains his sense of self with free help from Darcy!

Darcy's illusions...can be touched bestie

"There are many things I don't like about myself but I'm far from being a monster"

Would of loved if you expressed any of this BEFORE this moment

"I have a heart!!!!"

OUGH, MY SON

I'm not crying shut up

Ughh I just wanna give him a hug, is that so bad??

Riven bby understanding that becoming a better person isn't about making people forgive you, and no one owes your forgiveness if you become better

Sky definitely would struggle with that *laughs maniacally*

"I have a few friends too"

Hmmm I mean in the context of "hey I was manipulated and also Darcy was literally in my head" yeah

My meow meow is more pathetic than yours

"hey! Kiddo!" Glad you finally decided to speak up Griffin

"it would of been impossible to guess what their planning"

They tried to kill people. Are we forgetting that?

"I've always been good a picking locks [....] The person hasn't been born yet who can keep me locked up."

And then this trait is never shown again

He just walks out

Griffin got a cooler lock than him lmao

Riven with magic is a fun headcanon exclusively if you don't give him enough to over power anyone, then he has to use his ingenuity—which is one of his best traits!!

Like Riven with enough fairy magic but can't transform and vice versa with witch magic

I think witch magic seems more complicated??? Compared to fairy?? Which would make it more fun to give him bc then hed have to really work to do weird shit

All of this to say:

Let👏Riven👏use👏magic👏so👏he👏can👏pick👏magic👏locks👏too

That's the only thing Riven having magic is necessary for, bc then magic locks CAN keep him locked up and thats just not right babes

Background characters that could of been main characters with designs that pretty number 1, the witch Hecate

Goddamn rocking that light blue and red combo

That chick in the background comes from the same planet as Riven, you can tell by the shonen anime hair

Griffin sounds genuinely scared for Riven

He changed into his specialist uniform...but didn't bring any weapons?? Wouldn't that just be on his suit?

"Is this were it ends? No. You'll never get me."

Riven going from "I'm going to die" to "I'm too spiteful to die" to "the only one that kills me is me"

Salidin remembering that Faragona is a lying liar

I need to think more about thoese twins that work at CT

Bloom????? Are you ok????

She doesn't feel fear apparently

Sky agreed too quickly for how upset he seemed

Icy: NO—! Oh well he chose his own fate

All of the Trix have pretty strong on Riven apparently

"it's the same story as always, your stubborn as a mule" SAY IT MUSA

You'd think that Bloom would have a suit or something rather than her nomral clothes

DID NONE OF THE PROFESSORS HELP MIRTA? HELP???

Stella: So. Your not a prince.

Brandon: unfortunately, no. I'm Brandon, Sky's page

(First a squire, now a page, which...his job description is still bodyguard)

Stella: So Sky tricked Bloom and you tricked me

Brandon: and that changes everything

Stella: maybe, maybe not

Brandon, unlike Sky who attempted to push blame off of himself and instantly apologized, seems to have done the emotional equivalent of rolling over and dying

Man's has given up

Stella should not have enough magic to go on this mission. She should of collapsed after unfreezing Domino Palace

Icy wants to torture Alfea

Knut is a fucking dumbass 💕

The fact that Stella hasn't set him on fire yes is astounding, I wouldn't have enough patience for this

You know, CT is alive but I wouldn't assume the tunnels under it would be too

Why does CT have a personal garbage dumb?

Oh that's why, they have bugs that eat them

"No! Wait! If we attack we run the risk of blowing our cover!" "True. If we kill one the witches will sense it and we can kiss our surprise attack goodbye."

What? Are the BUGS apart of the tower??

These bugs are made of metal what the fuck

Bloom is definitely up there with the girls that can get along fine in a fight without magic, she's so unhinged

I love it when Bloom growls

(no seriously why are these bugs made of metal)

Good afternoon blorbo

There has to be like different tracks one can go into at RF. What ever Riven is in he's clearly the best at it bc everyone is freaking the fuck out over him

Is this an excuse to make all the boys "top of their class" by having them in different sections? Yeah, absolutely. Why?

You should of broken so many bones

Sky is so excited to see Riven, did you to not hate eachother the last time you saw— you know what whatever, this is admittedly adorable

Riven tries to apologize and Sky accepts it before he can even finish

Bloom is even jumping on Riven

Y'all are too nice around here

He's so pointy

EP 23:

Riven, babe, when did you have time to change clothes

This show is so poorly made (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

Brandon sassing Sky and Riven in quick succession. What ever Brandon is being paid it's not enough

That eye thing is fucking disgusting

"I still can't get over what's happening! I mean....this should of been a normal school year. Instead, were involved in a major crisis and we've got to safe Alfea! And the magic dimension!"

Musa having some very normal thoughts

"Look at it this way. This experience is teaching us so much more than school books could. We're part of historical events. We've had to come up with spells that can never be reproduced! We've got to fight alongside some of the most powerful people in the dimension!"

Tecna being fucking badshit (affectionate)

"you find all that thrilling do you! Well I don't like it at all! I'd rather be safe!!! At home!! With my parents!!!"

Nomral thoughts from a very interesting looking background character (seriously. Spot the main character is weirdly hard in Winx)

Musa: Flora's right!!!! We're like a big orchestra!!!! And each one of us has a very important part to play!!!!

Shut up I love her

Musa: each one of us is absolutely essential

I could write an essay about this moment, I won't tho. Just understand that Musa is perfect and I love her

Musa, Flora, and Tecna rallying the troops fjsndne

Tecna, talking about love: it can't be that bad

Knut: See! Over there is where they hide all their secrets!!

Riven: are you trying to make me homesick?

I—what the FUCK was your home life like to warrant this comment

How can Bloom not recognize her own power????

When Bloom growls >>>>

"most powerful", get swatted aside by Griffin

When did all these background witches get cloaks

Where are the other two teachers??? :(( Where are the other members of staff that I care about so deeply???? Cruel

And they can't teleport off planet?

Anyways

Sky is really dedicated....to everything but taking responsibility for his own actions ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖💙

Hi Stormy, I see you've made it out of the cage

EP 24:

Adults stop being upset in front of the kids

Some of these characters look like normal humans and others are so obvious alien. That's never more clear than when Griffin and Faragonda talk

Griffin and Faragonda are divorced

STELLA WHY DID YOU LET BLOOM LEAVE WITH SKY?!

BLOOM WHY WERE YOU SO ADAMANT ABOUT GOING IF YOUR GONNA GET COLD FEET

Sky is a kind guy™ but he's also a weird selfish inconsiderate person, at the same time. Layers

I now hc that Sky is specifically Codatorta's best student (even tho it should really be Brandon)

Where is Alfea's magical barrier???

The only thing the weird s3 call back had on this was the dedication on maintaining the barrier

Separate then incinerate, guys, come on

What the fuck is Salidn's and Codatorta's relationship?? They seem like they should be related or something.... Son in law maybe?

I WANNA SEE GRIFFIN AND FARAGONA TRANSFORM, AND I WANT TO SEE IT NOW

Brandon: don't be scared, I'm right here with you

Stella: well that's exactly what I'm afraid of my darling prince

Brandon: I want to ask you to forgive me for-

(Brandon runs his hands though his hair when nervous)

Stella: making me believe your a prince when in fact your just a simple attendant

Brandon: yeah

Stella: dont worry about that Brandon, I don't care if your a prince or not. My parents are royalty and it hasn't done then any good, has it!

What is with this show and giving characters horrible undercuts?!

I see people, rightfully, mocking Riven for his stupid hair and not enough people dragging Brandon for this tragedy on his head

Musa: Hey love birds~! What are you doing? It seems we can't leave you alone for a second

Flora: oh leave them alone, they're so cute together

Stella: don't you two have something better to do? *Magic's a pillow at Musa's face*

Musa: HEY!! ARE YOU CRAZY!! I COULD OF GOTTEN HURT!!!

Brandon: Ha! You were three feet off the ground

Stella: Please. Be nice to my friends. I'm the only one allowed to torment them

Flora may be the mom friend of all mom friends, but Stella older sister friend reigns supreme

Sky really said as you wish, sir, did your tutor teach you that

There's nothing quite as cool as Stella teleporting mid battle

This music is so depressing

Magixs is going to have a very strong therepy industry soon methinks

EP 25:

How have they not saved Mirta yet?

Omg Musa is so sassy about helping Mirta

Daphne is so pretty 🥰

I feel so bad for what I wanna do with this scene, but tbh Daphne makes no sense in canon (with the way she just disappears after s1) so I think I'm justified

Bloom how are you breathing underwater

Anyways Charmix should of been it's one transformation

Magic Winx gets a cutesy theme, Charmix would get a more metal one (like the RF theme), and Enchantix would keep the hauntingly beautiful one it has

And suddenly BOOM Charmix transformation

Bloom is BACK BABY!!!

I can't believe they fridged Mirta for a whole season, that has got to be a crime

"don't be silly! I think I'll go for a walk."

Musa is so adorable and obvious about her crush. She tries to hard to not be like other girls, but in reality she's a blushing school girl though and though

Mirta being smug about them lmao

Stella: Riven!!! I think she's coming down!!!

Riven: oh god, oh fuck, I'm not ready—

This has got to be in Sky's top ten list for trauma, just the whole city dead

Tecna: must you always be joking Stella?

Stella: what do you want me to do! When I get serious I think of Bloom and I go nuts!

Tecna will always be bothered by Stella's main coping mechanism

"the children are beginning to show effects of battle fatigue" BEGINNING?!

The chairs are fucking dope, ngl, this is sick as fuck

So much time dedicated to Sky fighting this thing, not enough time dedicated to Sky realizing that being a cheater makes him a fucking dick, cringe fail writers—

Hey Bloomy! Your amazing as always

Bloom absolutely carried Sky all the way to Alfea. This is just a fact

Icy's number one weakness is her pride

FARAGONA YOU LYING LIAR WHY DO YOU NEVER TELL ANYONE ANYTHING

[dreadnotau]

Big (but sort of not big) announcement time! (At the bottom is a TL;DR if you don’t have time to read paragraphs of my ramblings.)

First thing’s first, I got into college!!! A lot of you probably don’t know, but it’s been a massive uphill battle to practice for the exams to enter the art college I wanted. It’s why I haven’t been posting basically anywhere but here since the year started. It was a lot of work and stress, but it paid off! I’m gonna be studying subjects and doing art things that I’m ACTUALLY interested in! No more are the days of dreading the next German test or pulling my hair out because of some bullshit math equations, from now on it’s just blood, sweat and tears poured into canvases, baby!

Joking aside, this is genuinely monumental for me. Though it DOES mean I’m gonna be pulled thin on my time and creative juices the moment the first semester starts, I’m still excited to keep working on Dread Not alongside the schoolwork I’ll inevitably have to do, too. This comic is, as I’ve said many times, my biggest passion project yet, and the fact that I stuck with it for over a year now is another thing I have to be very proud of.

But, in all honesty, this project wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for my best friend, Meow! As some of you may know (or maybe noticed the changed bio), Meowchela is the co-author of Dread Not, and is the one who encouraged me to go through with a full comic telling of the story, (instead of just letting it sit idly in my brain like most of my Deltarune and Undertale AUs do, whoops) so, again, you have her to thank for all of this. She’s not directly involved with the creation of the pages (yet?), but she is the one who helped add many characters, sideplots, and satisfying conclusions to what was, originally, just an AU about Toriel, Asgore, Spade, Gaster, and Kris, as well as helping with designing characters both that appear later on and have appeared already (Rouxls’ fabulous design was made by her!)

The reason I bring this all up in detail now is because she is now OFFICIALLY credited as a co-author. I used to just mention her in posts and tags, as well as give her a special role in the discord server, but now she’s credited alongside me in the bios of both the Twitter and the Tumblr accounts! The reasons why she didn’t want to be credited until recently are her own, but I hope you all give her as warm a welcome as you gave me as a fellow author of Dread Not! She knows this story better than anyone (better than even me sometimes, whoops x2) and I hope we can all see it through to the end!

Don't take my word for it all, though, here's a statement from Meow:

Hello everyone! I'm Meow, who you now know as the co-author for Dread Not! I've been around for this project since the concept stages, and seeing all of your love and support for it means so much more than I can reliably say. You may now be wondering why I've been so silent despite being around for so long, and the answer to that is very personal. All I'll say is that it took a while to build up the courage to allow Kooki to even mention me by name (and trust me, he's wanted to since we made the blog!) and so having a proper credit like this is monumental. I'm happy to finally be more front and center for the project, even if still a litle nervous! =w=;;

Thank you for reading from the bottom of my heart. Seeing everyone being so kind about the comic is half the reason I came out of my shell in the first place. While it's true that without me the comic wouldn't exist, in turn my efforts would never have been realized had it not been for all of you! So thank you again, and I hope you're as excited for what's to come as I am!

And, lastly, and kind of least importantly (to me), I’ll be postponing this week’s page. Both so I can relax for 2 seconds after my exams, and so I can have more ready for the week after this one. I’m gonna be going on vacation soon, too, so I’ll try to have a page ready for posting while I’m away from home. And, if it’s not ready, it’ll just be postponed for a week, too. You guys have dealt with longer hiatuses, it shouldn’t be a big deal, right?

TL;DR: Kooki is in college now and October is gonna kick his ass. Meowchela is now officially credited as a co-author of Dread Not. This week’s page will be postponed so I can actually go touch grass for once.

Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for your continued support of this comic! Act 1 is in it’s last third, and progress on Act 2 is looking promising. Stay tuned!

[starshiningsirius]

Like old times (Yandere Azul x reader)

@bryzie27 - i like what you did with overblot leona. could you do something similar with overblot azul?

Not sure what you mean like the chase scene? The dynamics of Octanivelle's structure still aren't quite clear to me if they can go out in the water but I'll try!

I FORGOT THE GIF IS FROM @flowerofthemoonworld !

Let's give the octopus some love!

"Hey, your Azul right?"

He lifted his head to look at who had spoken to him. It was a mermaid with a strange speckled tail that added to her beauty. She seemed to be more of the reserved type. Her hair had two streaks of the same color on either side of her face and the rest was all one color. Her eyes shimmered radiantly.

He could feel a rush of heat claim his entire face.

"Here." She handed him his books.

"W -why are you doing this?" The young octopus sniffled.

He wasn't expecting this, not with the way everyone else treated him. It didn't make any sense why you'd treat him kindly. A freakish eight legged merman who couldn't swim correctly.

"It's the right thing to do, Azul. I couldn't just swim away with you like this. It'd be immoral."

From that first encounter on forward they became friends. She helped him walk and swim a bit better considering he found it embarrassing. She didn't even have tentacles yet she instructed him so well.. Maybe he inked once or twice, a few times around her on accident, he swears! It didn't matter she was fine with it. She didn't mind one bit who he was.

Even when they went to the Atlantica Museum she stayed by his side and explored it with him. He was a bit slow considering his physique was on the chubby side so he wasn't fast. It still didn't matter, for some odd reason she stayed with him. In the picture commemorating the trip he held her hand since he was a bit self conscious about his picture being taken.

Y/n couldn't help but find it adorable. Everything about Azul wasn't at all strange to her it only made her more curious to get to know him. He would always apologize for any small thing he did wrong. She would always say, "It's fine." as if he did nothing. Her smile always seemed to brighten Azul's darkest days.

She'd visit him in his family restaurant in which his mother and father always welcomed his first friend. They were overjoyed. She saw him gorging himself on the plate of food in front of him compared to her smaller portion. She couldn't help but to stare, it made her understand why he was on the chubby side. Then he looked at her sauce around his mouth and she couldn't help but smile at him with laughter filling the area. He was embarrassed blushing a shade of red and he felt a bit ashamed.

"Azulie, you're absolutely adorable!" She said through her laughter.

It was one of his most fondest memories he ever had with her, but all good things had to come to an end.

Eventually she had to depart from the northern seas to the far southern ones. She had to leave Azul behind. She had given him a hug it was full of so much warmth of which he had never felt before and it made his heart race twice as fast. Both parents of the children found it endearing their children had found a friend.

. . .

And that was that. Time passed and he eventually became Azul Ashengrotto the dorm leader of Octanivelle who could grant any wish just as the sea witch. He could never ever forget the one person he was so fond of though. It never left him every time he wrote down a contract he could remember a time where he truly did care for someone.

The new year at Night Raven was his second year while a new group of first years came entering the school. He had ordered Jade to get information on each of them and when he went through the long list of students that had been sorted into Octanivelle while in his office. He immediately crossed one oh so familiar.

Y/n L/n.

He couldn't believe his eyes. He put the sheet of paper down and opened one of his drawers in the desk that showed him and her back then. He never altered this photo as he did countless others. She accepted him for who he was and that was well enough a reason for him to admire her.

He automatically called upon Jade as Floyd would have probably scared the poor girl. He told him to fetch her immediately.

When he finally did see her for the first time in years he was astounded at how you changed so little but so much at the same time. You had grown taller and your eyes still sparkled just as they always did. You had the same two streaks on either side of your hair which had grown a few inches he might add.

Jade had left to do other tasks he was assigned but Azul couldn't care less seeing as he had his childhood friend and sweetheart in front of him.

"Azulie, that really is you huh?" Your voice had matured but was more timid just like the very first time they met. Of course it was so long ago that they're more like strangers now. That nickname though, it's been a long time since he's heard it.

"Yes, I've changed quite a bit." He was a little nervous though he'd never admit it his voice slightly betrayed him and his face had a little red tint. He tried pushing up his glasses to shield it from her eyes but it was a futile attempt. He heard her chuckle that made his heart race like never before.

"You haven't changed fully as your still the most adorable by far." She said.

That made his face blossom as red as a rose in the rose maze of Heartsbyul. Heat was exerting itself from his still body that he sat in the chair from.

From that moment on he would keep a watchful eye on her. He would always try his best when she was around and get any info on anything going on pertaining to her.

She had met Floyd and Jade before who Azul wasn't too fond of at first, but she reccomended he became friends with them back then since it wasn't everyday someone didn't come up to tease him and noticed his accomplishments. Of course it was only because of Azul that they met again at Night Raven. The first time she met Jade was when he first brought her to see Azul in his office. He looked familiar to her and she mentioned it to him, and they both shared their fondest memories on the way. She met Floyd a little later on in the Mostro Lounge as he had taken her order and he noticed she had come in a lot just to see Azul. Jade had to explain the situation that she wasn't required to pay for any food she ate there because of an order Azul had given out.

Azul would spend some time out of the day to just hang out with you if he wasn't always busy with the lounge. It was always a joy to be with you, it reminded him of when you were both younger. He thought back to those days every night and day that you had still never left his mind. The thought of you leaving again made him lose his sense of reason and fall deeper in his sweet obsession.

He had started to act different you noticed. He had become a bit more invasive of your personal space in which you remember that only happened when he was nervous at least you thought he grew out of it.

Jade and Floyd began to direct you to the Lounge like your life was there and no where else. It'd only be a matter of time before Azul was informed by Jade of his sweetheart's newest infatuation.

Vil happened to catch your attention. It led Azul to be green with envy. He knew the dorm leader of Pomeifore had complimented her one day and it was enough to send her falling head over heels. He had so many followers it made no sense why he had to take something else Azul had wanted for the longest time. With Vil's beauty he only began to question his own.

He had to come up with a solution just as he had done for those bullies. He just couldn't lose Y/n again. Not if he had any say in it.

After hours of pondering in his office sinking his nails into his desk the answer happened to be right behind him. The vault that was situated behind his desk held the many contracts he had collected.

Maybe if he could impress her she wouldn't see him as that stupid, clumsy octopus he once was. All these different magic spells that he obtained from those fools from the exams on land in Night Raven and those idiots who swam under the sea.

That's when his plan fell apart. Y/n avoided him all of a sudden. Mainly having spent time with those troublesome first years he sent to the museum to collect one of the last remnants of his past.

He didn't have time to keep thinking about Y/n at the moment which irritated him quite a bit. One thing led to another and now he was out here trying to negotiate with the arrogant and prideful dorm head of Savanclaw. As soon as he destroyed them all hope was lost.

He was taunting him, but his next few words really took him over the top in terms of a sadistic being.

"You know, one of your little sea friends really wanted to believe you were nice. We just had to show her the real Azul Ashengrotto." Leona had smirked turning his head to the side, beyond the corner of the tunnel his darling angelfish had appeared. Disbelief in her eyes, she couldn't even meet his eyes.

That's when everyone else had arrived, but the deed was already done. He had lost everything and his angelfish had seen him as a weak being, the same stupid clumsy octopus he hated being.

They took her from his side. He had her in his grasp and they stole her. He had lost it.

His newborn and unimaginable power were apparent now. He just had to get it all back. Not even Floyd or Jade wanted to help him either.

He reminded himself of you holding your pen ready to fire another offensive attack. His anger swelled inside him where he could tap into more power.

"GIVE HER BACK TO ME! GIVE ME BACK WHAT YOU TOOK! "

A large swarm of harsh black wind had overwhelmed the group. She still managed to stand but when the dust cleared she saw all of them had collapsed unconscious. Even the prefect who was thrown back the farthest had their head hit the tunnel, it didn't look like she was breathing from here though.

She took a look back at Azul and suddenly she felt her feet carrying her away from the scene, having Azul call out to her from behind.

* * *

It's been a while since she had to swim that fast. Her tail fin was starting to hurt from the constant movement. She wanted to take a break, a never ending nightmare she pleaded in her head to be over.

That was until she heard him calling for her.

"Oh Angelfish! You really have nothing to fear! Come out I promise I won't hurt you!" He said in a sing songy voice.

She was hiding behind a large boulder on the sea floor near a small coral reef.

"Am I not enough anymore?! I'LL DO ANYTHING TO PROVE IT! I'M NOT THE SAME AS BEFORE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AFTER ME! " The tone of voice he had scared her even more so now that she was alone.

"I'm not, ... I'm not that stupid clumsy little octopus anymore." He sounded as if he were about to cry, it pulled at her heartstrings a bit and she thought she could convince him to calm down in this state.

"Azulie I never-"

"There you are! " He said with glee and delight in his tone, that never would have made you think he was sad in the first place.

He successfully guilt tripped her into coming out of hiding. Using his tentacles he pulled her by the tail toward him careful to avoid giving her any injuries. He grasped her in his arms feeling himself relax a bit, at the fact he had her in his grasp once again. She felt warm just as she did all those years ago for him.

He clasped her hands together with his. A deranged smile on his face as he stared into the soul of his adorable little angelfish who shivered under such an intense gaze radiating his madness.

"We'll be together again! Just like old times! Except this time I'm all powerful and no one will be able to steal what's mine!"

Masterlist

[bukojuiice]

rose-colored boy

ೃ pairing: (eren jaeger x fem! reader)

ೃ  tags: college/modern au, fluff, humor, love at first sight cliché, mikasa is your cute little sister, armin, sasha, jean, and connie are your besties, and eren is a himbo who works hard and has terrible friends.

ೃ warnings: strong language and mild suggestive content

ೃ part 1/??? of my (eren x reader) college au!

ೃ word count: 3000 words

ೃ  my nav  →  my mha writing masterlist 

ೃ This is my very first snk x reader fic! so i hope you bear with some errors! qwq 

i’ve been following the anime ever since it was released in 2013, and this is the first time i’m  going to be writing for it.  this month’s manga chapter really took me out so why not channel my sadness thru writing an fluff! eren fic? 🤧 i hope you enjoy either way!

ೃ  please do reblog if you enjoyed!! (feel free to add tags too because i love reading them and my heart swells with happiness when people love my work!)

ೃ  in which (Y/N) (L/N), 20, still in school, and regretfully-unregretfully-her little girl scout sister's assistant, meets eren jaeger in an embarrassing too innocent door-to-door cookie sale whilst a humiliating party was going on.

cookies, suspicious maybe-maybe-not pot brownies, meddling little sisters and friends, “oh my god they were roommates” vine on replay 24/7, homework, tears, and fairy lights bring them together.

“I’m going to enter now.”

“Ahhh yes, please!”

“Shut up, please.” Eren muttered to himself as he tossed and turned around in his bed, but still couldn’t get to sleep. “When will they ever stop doing this?” Why did Eren’s next-door roommate and his girlfriend have to do this five times a day? They had a lot of stamina for 21-year-olds who didn’t have anything better to do.

Eren’s thoughts eventually brought him to his parents.

His parents- did they even exist?

For pretty much 14 years of Eren’s life, they had been out of town or out of the country. His older brother, Zeke, blonde, bespectacled, tall, and sometimes too far up his own ass older brother who Eren is able to confide in from time to time, recently got a girlfriend whom he’s hopelessly in love with (they’re even thinking about getting married which isn’t really a problem since the girl is genuinely nice to his older brother so Eren is good with her.), so… things in the family had been a bit rough and busy to say the least.

Communication with his parents wasn’t always the best.

Eren would study late at night back when he was seven, because no one bothered to help him with homework. Along with the fact that he wasn’t the brightest kid in class, and he knew that very well, but he had ambition and he was determined to make it big in the world. He focused more on sports, particularly Soccer in middle school and high school, and tried to balance that with his studies.  After being granted a Sports Scholarship from Shigashina University, Eren decided to rent and share a flat, living with his batchmates who he met at a mixer party (before Uni started as this whole meet and get to know each other kind of thing) and whom he was so quick to call his ‘friends’, just so that he could get out of the hellhole that was his own house.

But things turned out much worse than expected.

Eren thought that the ‘College Life’ was to focus more on pursuing your future career and make a name for yourself but… it was the other way around.

He thought that after Freshmen year, everyone would take things seriously. Sure, have some drinks, get wasted after finals, or have house parties from time to time. But he was unfortunately, dragged into the wrong crowd. After attending around 5 parties in the first few months of being generalized as one of the infamous and pompous freshman archetypes present in every university, he called it a year and spent the rest of his nights doing homework, projects, playing video games, staying at the school soccer field until 10PM while his roommates were probably smoking crack and not caring about the number of units they needed to take for each of their goddamn subjects.

 He was ~living the life~ and now that he regrets most of the decisions he made in freshman year, the only option that he has left was to wait until his third year and move to a different apartment.  

 Now, here he was, Sophomore year, nearing the end of the semester, and very much eager to get the hell out of here and also study for his upcoming finals on Constitutional Law II, as his professor, Mr. Erwin Smith, was going to throw hands if one of his students score below average on the exam.

 “EREN MICK JAEGER! BROOOO!” Eren winces when he hears the shrieky and annoying voice of his flatmate Thomas Wagner, calling out to him. “Wanna go and party with us?” Eren smiles halfheartedly, shaking his head, “Ah, no thanks. I have a game tomorrow and finals coming up on Thursday.” Thomas smirked and wrapped his arm around Eren, “Oh fuck that, live the college life ya spoon.”

“No, really I have to study.”

Thomas frowned and groaned, “Oh god, you’re such a killjoy. Fine, if that’s what you want. Don’t blame us if we tell you to buy some beer down the block.”

Eren cracked an obviously fake laugh and pushed Thomas away from him, “You’re an ass. That only happened once and that was when we first met. Don’t you even dare try to ask me to buy you shit again.”

“Woah. Woah. Woaaaaaah. That was a joke Eren. Loosen up will you?” Thomas raises an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by the brunette’s sudden aggressiveness. He hums Moves like Jaeger by Maroon 5 as a way to spite Eren whilst passing by him down the staircase.

The brunette shook his head, tying his hair into a bun carelessly and sprinting into his room without uttering another word.

Eren just wanted to study. He really did.

Instead, his roommates, all of them, mind you, were all partying in the lounge and the music was too loud and Eren was too annoyed.

They did manage to bring him out and make him stay in the kitchen where he mindlessly glared at anyone who came in. He sighed and tapped his pen restlessly amongst the insane amount of books on the table.

There was a knock.

His roommate, Floch, came in the kitchen with his girlfriend who Eren couldn’t even name with all the women he has brought into the apartment. She was hanging onto his arm and giggling. Floch’s eyes were red and his speech very slow and lazy. "Eren!" he said with a sly grin.

Eren raised an eyebrow, shooting him an irritated look. "What now Floch? Are you here to tell me to take a shot again?" The ginger-haired’s girlfriend giggled once again and kissed Floch’s cheek. Floch laughed and swatted her away, though he missed by a long shot. "Someone's at the door," a thumb pointing to the den. "wouldchumind ge'in it?" another giggle. The girl nodded sloshily. "Yesss! Erenieee get 'em door, please. Be a dearrrrr."

Eren frowned and stared at them menacingly, earning no reaction from the two as they were mad drunk. "You were just in the den," Floch’s eyes widened. "My lovey wovey-we was in the den?" His girlfriend’s mouth went into an O. "Di'nt notice tha'!"

Eren sighed and stood up. He miraculously got through the throng of bodies and to the front door. "Yes?" he called out exasperated, not knowing who was outside.

"Do you want cookies?"

Eren turned and looked to see a little raven-haired girl, a girl scout no less, a blonde-haired boy pulling on a trolley who looked significantly shorter than him, wearing rimmed glasses, and an overall appearance whom his “friends” would immediately label as a nerd they had to be a few feet away from if they saw him and lastly, a girl who looked very tired and very done with life.

Beautiful (h/c)-colored hair, her eyes looked like the starry night sky, twinkling as he catches her gaze and a smile that looked forced, but warm all the same.  

A girl who was just absolutely fucking gorgeous.

Eren was captivated. His heart was beating like crazy and he could feel his ears turn red. He would make a fool of himself if he looked red as a tomato right now.

"Um," The girl peeked inside and grimaced, squeezing the hand that was her little sister's shoulder and catching Eren’s gaze. "Mikasa, I don't think these kinds of guys would want cookies."

“Unless they're pot cookies,” Eren almost said. Mikasa pouted and widened her eyes at Eren.

The older girl crouched down and frantically covered her little sister’s eyes. "Nopenopenope, Mi, don't pull that on him."

"But (Y/N)!"

(Y/N).

Her name was (Y/N).

Eren smiled sincerely (for the first time today) and leaned back inside to the drawer by the door to grab the extra cash he and his roommates put there for emergency pizza and stuff. "You know what? You're absolutely brilliant at selling cookies. I'll take one."

Mikasa smiled back at him cheekily and tugged her older sister’s hand. "See, (Y/N)?! He wants some! Go get 'em!”

The raven-haired girl then turned to the blonde teen, practically jumping up and down. “Armin look! We sold another one!"

“We did!” The boy who was apparently named Armin, clapped his hands together, then gave the little girl a high five. “You’re a natural at this Mikasa!”

(Y/N) looked at Eren, then Mikasa, and sighed. She grabbed a bag from the trolley Armin was dragging around and pulled out a box of cookies. Eren grabbed them slowly from her, their hands almost touching as he gave (Y/N) a small smile. The (h/c) girl blushed lightly, though not visible enough for the brunette to notice.

"Hope to see you again!" Eren called out when the siblings said their thank you's and bid farewell.

And, this time, even for the slightest moment, Eren’s serotonin levels were going straight through the roof. His heart was still beating loudly, almost in sync with the trash music his roommates were blaring on the speakers. and for a moment, even just for a moment. 

He felt genuine happiness that he hasn’t felt in a very long time.

 The three of you continue to walk animatedly, now that the coast was clear and the guy from earlier wasn’t within earshot, your blonde friend just had to break the silence.

 Armin smiles, pushing his glasses up to the crook of his nose. “(Y/N), you did see how he looked at you right?” The blonde chuckles softly, catching his best friend off guard.

 You blinked. “Him?” You try to stop yourself from smiling, blushing profusely. “Geez Armin, I don’t even know his name yet.”

 “I’ll bet you 100 bucks that he goes to our Uni.”

 “Even if he does, it’s not like we’ll talk to him or anything. Judging from the place he lives in and the people he was hanging out with, we’re in two completely different worlds.” You shook your head in denial, holding Mikasa’s hand, your interlocked arms swinging playfully. Armin gives you a knowing look in response.

 Mikasa continued to wave back at the boy whom they had just sold cookies too. (Y/N) looked over her shoulder and smiled. “Wasn’t he nice (Y/N)?” Mikasa asks her older sister. (Y/N) returned her sister a small smile, “He was.”

 "I hope we see him again!"

"I'm sure we will."

 The day of Eren’s dreaded finals finally arrive.

He has prepared tirelessly for this. Hours upon hours of hard work. But, before he finally gets his well-deserved sleep, he has a few more hours to cram and absorb more knowledge for his exams.

So, what better way to do so than head straight to the library as soon as it opens at 6 AM?

This time, no one was going to bother him. No annoying roommates and no distractions.

Eren heads over to a table near the coffee and snack machines. He puts down his bag on a seat next to him, and begins to study once again. Looking through the course materials and the lessons that he still didn’t quite understand. Eren was so absorbed with studying and relying on his gut feeling that no other student in this university would think of going to the library at 6 AM on the day of finals… then he’s wrong. Very wrong. 

 “Sasha, should you even be eating mashed potato this early in the morning?” Armin asks the brunette worriedly, a huge tone of concern in his voice.

“Armin! Don’t chu worry! I ate heavy breakfast! Bacon, Eggs, and Toast! Did you not see me in the kitchen!?” She reassures her blonde friend, continuing to scoop up the mashed potato on a reusable cup.

“Liar.” Connie hissed, narrowing his eyes. “I was awake since 4 AM. Not once did I see you sneak into the kitchen until (Y/N) woke you up.”

“Atatata. Can we… stop with the negative vibes for a second?” Jean tries to become the mediator by holding his hands up against his two friends who were about to start an argument. “It’s finals week. We have to keep a clear mind, body and soul-“

“Jean, you know that’s BS.” You yawn widely, still practically half-asleep.

“Oh, come on! Can’t you just let me be positive just this once!? If we fail this exam I’m going to blame you!“

The five of you continue to talk mindlessly on the way to the library. Connie pushes the glass door open, very much excited to have this huge library all to yourselves.

Until…

There was someone already there.

Your eyes immediately come into contact with Eren’s. His radiant jade eyes staring into yours, mouth practically agape, his hands holding on to wooden chopsticks as the hot air of instant ramen breezes through his face.

“Oh?” Connie blinks. “Guess we aren’t the first ones here then.” He whistles.

“(Y/N)!” Armin nudges you in the arm in an attempt to tease you. “Guess your wish came true huh? We did see him again! By himself too!”

“W-what am I supposed to do exactly?” You turn to Armin, speaking in a hushed whisper.  

“Say thank you to him! Offer him to go on a boba date or something!”

“You got the Sasha seal of approval (Y/N)! He’s hot!” Sasha motions you a thumbs up and you can’t help but feel yourself already wanting to die of embarrassment.

The four of them slightly push you towards his table. With your friends cornering you like this, there was no way of escaping this.

All you had to do was talk to him and properly thank him for buying cookies from your little sister.

That was it.

No need for any extra ad-libs or poor and bad attempts of flirtation.

Just thank him (Y/N).

You can do this.

You breathe a hefty sigh then approach his table with confidence. The brunette continues to look up at you whilst turning the page of his reviewer that he wasn’t even looking at.

“Hi again! I just wanted to thank you properly for helping my sister and I, out the other day. Mikasa really appreciated the gesture you did for her, and she couldn’t stop talking about you to our parents since we saw you. You see, none of the other girl scouts want to be paired up with my sister because they think she’s an emotionless and monotonous freak. They’re really mean to her but she really wants to continue being a girl scout so my friend and I accompany her whenever she has to sell cookies!”

“It’s N-no problem!” Eren quickly replies, running a hand through his hair. “Why would they say such horrible things to your sister like that? Judging from the way she acted in front of me, she was quite the opposite. In a positive way of course! Those kids are just assholes who are intimidated because another girl their age is seemingly better than them.”

You giggle in response. “Thank you. I’ll tell Mikasa that you said that!” 

There was short silence for a few seconds until you realized that you forgot to say something. 

“Ah! I’m (Y/N) (L/N) by the way!”

“Eren.” He smiles, reaching his hand out to you for you to shake. You grip his strong and calloused hand firmly, and Eren could feel his ears turning red again while you were about to blush as red as a tomato.

You hear your friends snickering in the background and you took this as a sign to go back to your table. “I guess, I’ll see you around campus?” You ask, tilting your head. For, you actually really wanted to see him again after this.

“Yea! I’ll be seeing you!” He grins widely, watching you leave where he was seated. His smile then envelops into a frown as soon as you went away then he goes back to studying.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” Connie whispers loudly, calling you over by waving his hand. Why was this dunce being so painfully obvious? “Ask him if he’s looking for an apartment or if he wants to live with us!”

“Already!?” You ask in disbelief, a bit shocked by what Connie had just said. He scoots to the left, as you take a seat between him and Sasha. “Guys, you’ve known him for like… 3 minutes. Only Armin and I actually interacted with him before this.”

“He has to pass the vibe check first.” Jean shrugs, sipping on an iced expresso. “But, yeah, he does seem alright from a few feet away.”

“Come on (Y/N)! Ask him!” Sasha nods approvingly. “It’s weird that he’s studying alone like this while we’re in another table trying to remain unaware that he looks lonely as hell.”

“UMmMM… maybe he wants to study alone because that’s the only way he can focus? That’s a thing that normal people do, Sasha.” You remark sarcastically, trying to think up of more reasons to not approach him again.

Armin clears his throat, “Look, (Y/N), it won’t hurt to try right? Besides, don’t you feel a tiny bit sorry for him? He does seem lonely and you do have a crush on him so… more ways to interact with him right?”

Your shoulders slump and you breathe a defeated sigh. “Okay okay fine.” You make your way to Eren’s table again but before you do, you turn to your friends. “By the way, I don’t really have a crush on him just yet. I just find him cute okay?”

“Yeah yeah.” They say in unison as you continue to walk back to the brunette’s table.

“Hi again Eren!” You wave and try your best not to fumble or look painfully obvious that you were infatuated by him. He looks up and you try your best not to smile like a weirdo.

“Hm?” He hums.

“Would you like to come over to our table and study with us?”

To be continued.

[repo-net]

Rose Under The Tree

It was a day like any other, defeating monsters and baddies, exploring the world around you, solving puzzles, and eating delicious food with your favorite floating companion. It's been a long day though, and it was about time to just head back and rest for now.

"Paimon thinks it's time we take a break now. We've been super busy today, and we still need to fix up everything around our Serenitea Pot's mansion! Ugh... if only Paimon's worries could disappear in the blink of an eye."

You just chuckle, patting her on the head as a thought swung by you... hmm... worries disappearing in the blink of an eye... it definitely did remind you of a certain someone.

You summoned the teapot in front of you again, and felt yourself being sucked in, entering another world... the experience of entering it truly never gets old. You head into the teapot's main area - that being the mansion right near it's entrance. A sigh of exhaustion escaped you as you opened it's doors and entered the mansion.

And to your surprise... it was sparkly clean. Not a single piece of dust or traces of dirt were left on the floor, nor the wall, nor the ceiling. Everything was in place. The furniture looked exceptionally well-cleaned too, and a bunch of things had been moved back into their original idle places, from chairs that were left too far from the table, or paintings that hung an angle too far.

You're thankful, and maybe you'd even be impressed too had you not already seen this sight before countless times and didn't already know what was the cause behind the state the place was in.

Another sigh leaves your mouth, this time out of worry as you walked into the mini library that was found in one of the rooms of the house, finding no one more than the familiar sight of who you figured was behind the cleaning.

"Zzz... the exam... I must..."

With the pile of books that were on the desk she was sitting in front of, it was to no surprise that once again, she'd been studying for the upcoming Knights of Favonius examination once more. But to do it seemingly right after she just did all your chores and work for you... it was clear any semblance of a "break" in her work as a maid was just going to be eaten up by her preparing for the Knights exam.

You approached her, looking over to see her face properly now, her head on her arms as she lightly snored, sometimes mumbling stuff about duties and being a maid/knight in her sleep.

Even when she's already out and down, she's still thinking about how to serve people and how to work even harder than she already does... honestly, you thought she was far too kind to be surrounded by the people she's usually with. Sure, she says she enjoys it, and she definitely does too by the expression on her face while she works, but you couldn't help but constantly feel like her kindness was being taken advantage of.

You picked up a nearby notebook, tearing off a piece of paper from it and getting out a pencil, and began to write on it.

Several minutes later, you reread through your entry once more...

"You've been pretty worked up again lately, I can tell. I was planning on doing my own chores and work for today, but you'd already beaten me to it, so I'm pretty much free for the rest of the day.

That said, now that I'm free, come see me under the tree in Windrise again once you wake up. I want to have a chat with you, and after that, I want to take you with me for a stroll. Just so you can finally take an actual break for once. You deserve much better than how you're treated by others, and I want to be a person that can show that.

I'll be waiting for you, then."

... and find yourself satisfied with it.

To add on to it though, you looked around your belongings and attached a small red rose to the corner of the paper, before finally putting it right on top of a book on her desk about the stories of Mondstadt's knights, making sure she sees it as soon as she wakes up.

A small smile curls on your face, as you just take a deep breath, pondering on the adventures you've had with her.

She'll always protect and help you and others, but for once, you just want her to feel less like a figure and more like a person for once.

And as you walked out and returned to Teyvat, standing under the city of freedom's mighty tree, and hear her voice not too long after you arrive...

"Honorary Knight!"

You want to he the one that helps her realize that.

[britishassistant]

The Villainous Paranoiac Just Wants An Uneventful Holiday (Part 1)

This is not how you wanted to spend your break.

The school was supposed to be empty. Everyone except the Octavinelle trio was supposed to be gone.

Not to say you don’t enjoy your friends’ company but. No magic-using people means no magic-spewing overblots.

You were looking forward to just bringing the fairies their firewood and working on your winter homework while taking the first opportunity in a good long while to unwind with Grim and the ghosts. No investigations to worry about, no weird dreams to get worked up over, no overblots to frantically try and survive.

You wanted a break.

This? Marching 10km into the desert with the rest of Scarabia dorm for the third day in a row due to their leader’s looming psychotic breakdown? This is not a break.

Although...

There’s definetely something rotten in Scarabia dorm, you think to yourself as you watch Viper-senpai hand out skeins of water. Kalim-senpai had no problem using his unique magic yesterday, and yet today he acted like Grim had mortally insulted him when he asked for a repeat performance.

If the outburst had been after two or three other instances of Kalim-senpai using Oasis Maker and receiving what he felt were insufficient thanks for it, then his current attitude would make a little more sense. But taking umbrage after using it just once? And being universally praised by everyone else the rest of the day for it?

It doesn’t add up.

Even deranged behavior has some sort of internal logic to it, as Rosehearts-senpai and the Rules of the Queen of Hearts have taught you. Even with how nonsensical all 810 rules are, it’s rare to find a scenario where one rule actually conflicts with another— all of them usually work smoothly in tandem with the goal of having an orderly unbirthday party in mind.

Even if they do violate most forms of dignity and common sense.

Kalim-senpai’s behavior though? It’s erratic without rhyme or reason, bouncing from nice to mean and back again seemingly as he enters and exits a room. He insists you and Grim stay and participate in this asinine “training”, despite the fact that you both belong to a different dorm, and are technically rivals to Scarabia in Magift and exams.

If you didn’t know better, you’d say it’s almost like he’s trying to imitate Rosehearts-senpai before his overblot—and doing poorly at it.

And with how much Viper-senpai has been invoking parallels between the current situation and what happened back then...

The smartphone Crowley gave you is a cold, heavy weight in your pocket. Its charge ran out yesterday, which is unsurprising given how many times you dialed and redialed the dumb bird headmaster’s number only to be met with his voicemail. You can probably recite that stupid message by heart now. You’ve heard nothing from Ace and Deuce either.

One thing is clear; no one’s going to help you out of this mess but you.

“Kalim-senpai?” You brace yourself as you step towards him. “Can I ask you something?”

“What could you possibly question me about?” He barks, glaring down at you haughtily.

“Well, I was just wondering, what’s the point of all this?” You fight to keep your nerve as his posture stiffens. “I don’t mean any disrespect, none at all, but you do want everyone to do better in Magift and exams, don’t you? I was hoping you could explain to me how the parades and defensive magic training are supposed to do that. I apologize for my ignorance, I’m nowhere near as smart as you, but could you please tell me why we don’t just practice Magift and brush up on the class material inst—”

Your head’s ringing.

You think you hear faint yelling, though it sounds like it’s coming from somewhere far away.

Your cheek aches.

Numbness blooming into a sharp stinging throb that feels like it’s growing with every second that passes, burning hotter than the sun above you.

You cautiously poke your tongue against your teeth, but none feel loose, thank the Seven.

Damn, the desperate, near-hysterical thought flits through your head. Even a pampered rich boy like him has strength behind his hits, huh?

The rest of you is just trying to process what the Hell just happened.

“How. Dare. You?!”

Asim-sama looms over you, red eyes burning with fury.

It’s a fight to keep yourself from curling into a terrified ball under his gaze, tucking into yourself as though seeing less of you would abate the anger, the shouting, the hurt, like you used to when you were a child.

“You dare to question my methods, my leadership of this dorm?! You? A sniveling street rat leeching off my hospitality?! Do you know who I am?!” He rages. “I am Kalim al-Asim! I am the Head of this dorm! I don’t have to explain ANYTHING, justify ANYTHING to the likes of you!!”

You knew, you knew you were pushing your luck when you first asked, but you thought it would just be yelling, like it was before. You can handle yelling, nothing Asim-sama can say could ever be worse than what you’ve already heard.

You didn’t think he’d hit you.

You didn’t think he’d hit you.

You didn’t think—

“DON'T YOU TOUCH MY MINION, FGNAH!”

Your arm whips out almost on instinct.

You jolt forward slightly as Grim collides with it, hissing and spitting like he really was an irate cat, the flames in his ears flaring brightly enough that some detached part of you is worried about getting burned.

The other Scarabia students are reaching for their magic pens.

“Lemme at ‘im! Lemme at ‘im!!” Your friend howls, fighting to get past you. “Forget butt on fire, I’ll BURN IT TO A CRISP FOR HURTING MY MINION!! I'LL STEAL EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND SELL IT FOR LUXURY TUNA!! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR CROSSING THE GREAT GRIM—”

“No, Grim.”

Your friend halts in his flailing to stare uncomprehendingly at you. “But Yuu—!”

“It was my fault.” You say, trying to keep as much emotion out of your voice as possible. Tears and trembling only show weakness, only make them worse. “Asim-sama was just correcting me. He was right to do so. I shouldn’t have questioned him. I overstepped my bounds.”

Asim-sama sniffs. “At least you know your place. Be glad I don’t punish you anymore than this.”

“What?! He slapped you for asking a question, you can’t possibly believe—” You gather Grim into your arms and hug him close. You quietly thank the Great Seven you at least have him, trying to hide the quiver in your limbs by burying your face in his fur.

But that’s exactly why you can’t let him do this. It’s just the two of you, you can’t win against an entire dorm of wizards like you did against the ghosts. Maybe if Ace and Deuce and Jack were here...but it’s just you. You need to protect your friend in the only way you can. “We can’t win this. Please, Grim.”

You feel him grumble, then a paw carefully pushes at your forehead. “Hrm...I’ll show mercy for now, so geroff already. It’s too hot for you to keep hugging me like this, I’m cooking here fgnah.”

Despite saying so, he settles onto your shoulder, tail smacking your arm as it flicks irritably.

“If you’ll excuse me, Asim-sama.” You duck your head slightly. “I will remove myself from your sight and head back early as penance for my behavior. Once again, my deepest apologies for insulting you.”

Asim-sama gives you a curt, dismissive nod.

You turn and make your way through the crowd of Scarabia students, snatches of muttered conversations floating to your ears.

“How could he—?”

“Just for a question?”

“Isn’t that going too far...?”

“Unforgivable...”

“Prefect.” Viper-senpai takes you by the shoulder, turning you to face him. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” You reply monotonously, eyes on the sand below you. “Just...just need to be by myself for a bit.”

His lips purse and you can feel him study your face. He presses a full water skein into your hands. “Take this. Even if it’s not as cold as I’d like, it should help with the swelling some. Plus you need to stay hydrated out there.”

“Thank you, Viper-senpai.” You nod, keeping your eyes down.

“And Prefect?” He squeezes your shoulder, voice lowering only a fraction. “I am truly sorry about this. All of this. It will not happen again, you have my word.”

It would’ve been a nice apology, had you not caught a glimpse of a smirk on his face.

You nod, making sure not to outwardly react to that or to the way the whispers of the other Scarabia students turn from the condemnation of their dorm head to the exaltation of the vice dorm head. You begin following the tracks in the sand back to the main dorm.

The sun beats down on your back as you take a swig from the skein and pass it to Grim to drink from. He’s still grumbling about how you should’ve let him recreate his rampage at the entrance ceremony.

For your part, the distance and good company have let you pull yourself out of that headspace enough that you can try and look back objectively on what happened.

Your mind keeps circling back around to one question: why did Asim-senpai hit you?

Based on your interactions before this, Asim-senpai doesn’t seem to be the type to resort to physical violence as a first response, or even a last one. Which means something in your question likely backed him into a corner enough that the normally pacifistic dorm head felt lashing out physically was the only way to get you to stop.

...Like the fact that he couldn’t answer it?

Even when screaming abuse at you, his ultimate response was that he wouldn’t explain himself to you. Is that because he didn’t want to? Or because he couldn’t? Does Asim-senpai himself not know the reasons behind his own actions? But how can someone act without knowing or meaning to, without being under the influence somehow?

Under the influence.

People acted without knowing or meaning to thanks to being under the influence of Buchie-senpai’s Unique Magic during the Magift incident. But he went home, you saw him leave, so what...?

You pull out your notebook, flipping through the pages with sweaty hands until you get to your records of the testimonies from the incident. You scan through the testimonies from Scarabia students, hoping to find something, anything—

Oh.

Oh.

“Motherfucker.” You hiss, staring at the page in dismay. You are an idiot. You are the biggest idiot, you make Deuce look like a genuis, how could you forget about this?? It was only the key testimony that helped pinpoint Buchie-senpai and Savannahclaw as the culprits behind the injuries. And it explains so much— why you kept agreeing to stay here despite wanting to go back to Ramshackle so desperately, almost like your mouth was speaking without your consent.

“Minion?” Grim asks, pushing the water skein back onto you. “What’s wrong?”

You snap your notebook shut and slide it back into your pocket, taking another fortifying swig from the skein. “Grim? Think we can get back soon enough to work on the escape route in our room before the others arrive back for lunch?”

“If we pick up the pace a bit, yeah.” He hops back onto your shoulder. “But what’s the rush? We have all night tonight to work on it.”

“Let’s just say the sooner we can get out of here, the better.” You mutter, cogs and gears turning in your head as a tentative plan begins to form.

This is not how you wanted to spend your winter break.

[youremeimyou]

Old Lovers

pairing: Min Yoongi x reader genre: angst with sprinkles of fluff, ex-boyfriend au word count: almost 5k warning: some passionate kissing

Description: Min Yoongi is your ex-boyfriend that you’ve parted ways not on the greatest of terms with. But in the makings of a mixtape, somethings will be rekindled. Will it be friendship or maybe more?

A/N: I’ve started writing this so long ago but only recently got to finish it. I haven’t been able to post any fics in a while even though I’ve got a lot of wip. I’m graduating uni and my life’s basically a chaos right now. But I liked writing this a lot. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think of it :) [posting again cuz it’s not showing on tags ughh]

Going back to school has never been this painful to you before. Of course assingments, exams and longer than necessary lectures were always there to welcome you back to hell every year but no new semester intimidated you quite like this one does. Especially after the very much disconnected summer break you had.

Spending the summer in your hometown of Gwangju was a rushed decision that was actually forced upon you at the time. But it turned out to be exactly what you needed. At least, Hoseok made sure that it was. Being your life-long friend, he took matters into his own hands when you couldn't pull yourself together after the rough patch you've been through. The Hoseok-ie rule he called it: No getting in touch with anyone in Seoul. And while it was a little hard not reaching out to close friends in Seoul, you couldn't risk breaking the Hoseok-ie rule. He's sweet and you love him but that guy is one scary motherfucker when he's pissed.

Now, summertime's over and you're definetely not prepared to face your demons. It doesn't help that Hoseok's classes aren't starting until next week, either. That means you have to go through this alone.

On your way from the subway station to the campus, you check the new weekly schedule once more and it makes you let out a dissappointed huff. You can't blame anyone. You made this schedule. But do you have any idea why you decided to put music theory at 9 in the morning while you were making it? No.

Your legs take action before you know it and suddenly you're now turning to the other street. They continue to take you through another familiar path. As you close in on the shop at the corner, the calming smell of coffee reaches your nose and you realise why coming here was more tempting than attending class.

This coffee shop was your safe haven for the past three years and this semester isn't going to be any different. Even though it's so close to campus, not many people know about it and it's never hectic. Which is something you love and right now, definetely need. Some peace and quiet before starting the semester...

You enter and head straight to the barista, who happens to be a friend of yours since you're a regular.

"Hey Ryu."

"Well well, if it isn't Miss I'll come everyday this summer that never showed up once." Ryu has sarcasm alongside with mischief in his voice.

"I know but Hoseok kept me in Gwangju as a prisoner the whole summer, I'm sorry."

"Where's that dancing machine?"

"He doesn't have classes until next week so it's just me for now." You're still not over the fact he left you on your own for the first week.

"It's fine, you're not alone. Look!" Ryu points to the back where the tables are. You're confused as to who he could be pointing at. You and Hoseok are the only ones you know that come here- except...

In a flash, you stop turning around and hurriedly order a black coffee. "Please make it quick." you plead quietly but what's done is done, he already knows you're here. In fact you can hear footsteps approaching.

"That drink was great, dude. What's it called again?" He appears on your right side in his all-black outfit with a snapback. Nothing's changed about him, you think. Except you see some of his hair through the hat and it seems to be bleached. Something he hasn't done for a while. For the two years you two were together, to be exact.

"Oh, it's called yuanyang. You think I should put it on the menu?"

"Definetely, go for it."

It seems like he doesn't even acknowlegde the fact that you're right next to him. But why the hell did he even come here? You totally introduced him to this place and Ryu. So, you should get to keep this place after the break-up. Aren't those the rules?

He takes out his wallet to pay but pauses for a second. "Ryu, can I get two cookies to go?" he asks and hands over his card.

Two cookies? You know he doesn't like sugaries that much. You're almost sure he's meeting someone and it makes you scoff, unconsciously. Both him and Ryu side-eye you but you avert your gaze. "Chocolate ones, please." he adds. You think he must be ordering your favorites just to spite you.

He recieves the cookies from Ryu, fistbumps the guy and starts walking out. But then, just as he passes by you, he leaves one of the cookies on the counter in front of you and exits without another word.

First, you're shocked. And so is Ryu, apparently. You glance at him and he confusedly shrugs. Then, you're pissed. In a moment of anger, you blast out of there to go after him.

"Hey, Min Yoongi!" you shout.

He stops but doesn't turn around for a while. Just when he's about to, you appear right in front of him, the cookie in your hand.

"What's this?"

"What does it look like to you?" he retorts back, his eyes avoiding yours. And you frustratedly huff.

"What are you trying to pull?" you ask with hints of accusation in your voice. That's when he meets your gaze.

"Nothing at all. My fault for trying to be nice."

There it is, the Min Yoongi venom you were waiting for. He opens his mouth to say something else but you beat him to it.

"Ryu doesn't seem to know that we-" you pause. And immediately regret pausing. Why couldn't you just say it?

"Oh, right. You must be thinking that life stopped while you were away." And only as he says this that you notice the dark circles under his eyes. "He knows. So do a lot of other people, by the way."

Well, shit. You might've been away from all the post-breakup commotion but he was here. He was dealing with everyone of your social circle, alone. And what's the first thing you do when you see him for the first time after all that? Lashing out at him. And when he was just trying to be nice, too. Great...

"Can you move? I'm missing class." he says coldly. But despite trying to hide it, his voice sounds tired. Which makes you step out of his way and let him go. Instead, you start making your own way to class, being already late as it is.

Safe to say it's an awkward walk to campus, with you on one side of the street and Yoongi on the other. The bad news is, you constantly find yourself looking his way. Even though you curse under your breath everytime you catch yourself staring at him, you can't help but look again. But his eyes are completely fixed on the road, not even sparing you one glance.

To escape the awkwardness, you decide taking the longer route to class by heading for the stairs at the back while he takes the ones near the entrance. Since you're late and afraid of Professor Sol, you fasten your pace. Once you reach the door, your hand clashes into someone else's. Yoongi's. Of course, you think to yourself. You should've known he's taking music theory from Professor Sol. He's the best student when it comes to music and the best teacher here definetely wants him on his class.

It's too late when you realise you haven't removed your hand because he opens the door with yours under his, making it feel as though you're holding hands.

"So you finally decided to grace us with your presence? You shouldn't have. The class is about to end." Professor Sol scolds the two of you. She isn't exactly wrong. "I can pardon a student who already excells but the one who barely passes classes, I hope you know what you're doing Miss Y/N." One thing about her is that she notoriously discriminates between students and she's never liked you.

Yoongi's hand and yours is still connected and you feel him tense up. He actually used to be your guardian when it came to Professor Sol. And apparently old habits die hard because he grabs your hand harder and steps up a little. "The last I checked, at least eighty percent of your class fails every year, professor. It includes people who rank highest in some of the other classes. Strange, don't you think?"

Only Min Yoongi has the guts to do this. And only he gets a free pass after doing it. When the professor simply points you in the direction of the seats, Yoongi pulls you by the hand he’s still holding and sits you down. There’s immediately talk going around, people discussing if you were back together and all that. That’s when he snaps out of it and lets your hand go. So you’re finally able to let out the breath you were unknowingly holding. Then, he goes to one of the back seats and sits down himself. And you quietly wonder why that hurts you.

It's Hoseok's first day back and the two of you are enjoying some coffee at Ryu's shop, after a long school day.

"Y/N, I've got some bad news." he says, looking gloomy all of a sudden.

"Wha- hurry up and tell me." You hate the suspense, it makes you worry.

"I haven't been able to find a studio that we can continue the album with." He looks really upset. That's only natural, he's been working on this project for over a year now. Before you broke up with Yoongi, Hoseok was writing and producing a mixtape in Yoongi's studio with you and Yoongi's help. After you parted ways, the mixtape was put on hold.

"I've saved a lot of money this summer. We can look into some expensive ones too, I'm sure we can-"

"It's not the money, Y/N. I can't work on it the way I want to in any of those other studios. Even if it's one of the expensive ones." he cuts in. Yes, Yoongi was probably the only person to let Hoseok do his own thing.

"Well then, you should talk to Yoongi. I'm sure he'll be cool with working with you, still. As long as I don't show up, it should be fine."

He rolls his eyes. "I can't do it without you, Y/N. I'll need your help, so you'll have to show up eventually."

It's your turn to roll your eyes. You don't want anything to do with that studio. But you know how important this mixtape is to Hoseok, so you say okay. Even though you doubt Yoongi would be fine with you being there.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. In his damned, cursed, beautiful leather jacket... This time there's no hat so you can fully observe his bleached hair and notice how it's grown longer.

"Would you really be okay with it? I don't wanna put you in this position, no. Let's just forget it-"

"Hoseok-ie, you're lovely. But for now, shut up." You get up and make your way to Yoongi's table. Hoseok's mixtape has to be done, no matter what. Seems like he hasn't noticed you so you clear your throat to grab his attention.

"What?" he asks, not looking at you. Your blood slowly starts to boil.

"I need to ask you something-"

"Ryu, I kinda need that coffee asap, buddy!" He cuts you off by hollering at the barista and starts to gather his things. He really must want to get on your nerves.

"Actually, first things first, why in the bloody hell are you still coming here?" You can't help but lash out again. You discovered this place after all, you have the right to claim it.

"Excuse me?"

"I showed you this place, it's my territory. Don't you know the break-up rules?"

He laughs at that. In such a condescending way that you regret saying it. He stops getting ready and settles on the table once again. "You're cute."

Oh, you're so close to smacking him on the head.

"And you're an asshole."

Ryu comes with Yoongi's order and leaves it on the table. "I thought you were in a hurry." He says while heading back to the counter.

"I suddenly wanna stay longer." Yoongi states, looking straight at you.

Every fiber of your being wants to avoid his eyes and run away from there, he knows exactly how to make you vulnerable. But you endure. For Hoseok.

"I'll get to the point. Hoseok needs to keep working with you. Our situation shouldn't effect his mixtape, don't you think?"

He switches to serious mode quickly. "Was this your idea or his?"

"What does it matter-"

"I'm only okay with it if he wants to do it on his own will and not by you forcing him."

Okay, you do get a little bossy sometimes but he didn't have to put it as harsh as that.

"He wants to. He refused other studios and all that."

You think you see his lips curve into a small smile for a second. Hoseok and Yoongi got along very well, actually. You never wanted for them to stop being friends, anyway. This might be a chance for them to catch up even. Of course, there's a slight problem.

"But- he says he can't do it without... well, me. He wants to make sure that you're okay with-"

"Not a problem." Yoongi unexpectantly cuts you off. You're rendered speechless due to shock. He finally turns his head and looks at you. "My studio is a workplace, Y/N. Why would it bother me when you're there for work purposes? Especially when you're essential to the process."

Yoongi's sense of kindness is a very strong thing. But it's well hidden under all the coldness and sarcasm. You'd know, it had taken you a while to get to it. But when you did, it made you fall for him even harder at the time. And now, even though things between you are over, you can still see it.

"Thanks..." is all you can say while turning around to go back but suddenly your feet stop and turn back around. "Actually, thanks for before with Professor Sol, too. Even though you don't need to stand up for me anymore-"

"It's not that I needed to, Y/N. It's that I wanted to."

He goes back to gathering his stuff and you head back to give Hoseok the details of how it went. Just as you're about to, Yoongi stops by your table before leaving.

"Hoseok-ie, text me later to come up with a schedule for studio hours, okay?"

Hoseok is visibly happy and responds with a big smile. "Sure thing."

It's been three weeks since Hoseok started to work at Yoongi's studio again. But today is the first time that you'll be going there since the break-up. Even though time has passed, you're still not used to being around Yoongi all the time. Like having to attend almost all the classes with him and also, well... without him.

Without him sitting next to you, practically glued to your side, while you both silently giggle in the middle of the lecture as he whispers stupid jokes in your ear. The fact that you're consantly around him (not by choice by the way) prevents you from getting over him.

And now the studio... One of the most dangerous places for you now because of the memories you have with him there. You know, an intimate, indoor space with dim lights... A perfect spot for activities you definitely don't want to be reminded of. But for your best friend Hoseok, you have to go.

When you arrive, you call Hoseok to open up the door, too nervous to ring the doorbell. Once you enter, your giggly friend drags you hurriedly into the recording room.

"Okay warm your voice up. We should start with the vocals-"

"Wow there, pickle." you say. Vocals were maybe the only thing you told him you wouldn't do. What did he think? That he could hurry you into it and you wouldn't notice? "What vocals, Hoseok? I'm here to arrange, mix and maybe write some melodies, you know that."

"Shhh... look you gotta. Otherwise Yoongi's gonna have some other girl do it and I don't want that."

What girl? For as long as you can remember, Yoongi has tried to get you to sing. For Hoseok's and other albums. But you don't have confidence in your voice so you've always refused. And now he just wants some other girl?

"Have you told him you don't want that?"

"Yes, obviously. He told me if I can't convince you, we had no other choice. So c'mon, just try for me? Pleaseee?"

You sneakily glance out the window to see Yoongi talking with the said girl. She’s probably from your school even though you haven’t seen her here before. She’s standing a bit too close to Yoongi’s chair and leaning on him a little but that’s none of your business. And you definetely don’t care. But still, you can’t have someone whom Hoseok’s not comfortable with, sing in his own damn album.

You go out the room and toward Yoongi and the girl. “We need to speak.” you say and head for the other room. Yoongi huffs while following after you.

“What is it miss grumpy?”

You roll your eyes. “Are you really pulling an ultimatom on me like this? Hoseok clearly isn’t okay with this girl-”

“Hoseok isn’t okay with anyone but you. This isn’t my ultimatom, it’s his. Marley’s like the third person I asked to do this and he didn’t like any of them. Because what he wants is your voice. You really can’t see that Y/N?”

He sounds fed up and exhausted. What he says makes sense too, since you know how stubborn and sneaky your best friend can be.

He continues. “Look, if we want the album to proceed there are three options. First is Marley does the vocals and Hoseok will be unhappy about it. Second is there’ll be no female vocals which will make the whole thing empty and far from what we planned. Or third, you can do them and save us all the grimace.”

He makes it seem like he doesn’t care which you’ll go with but in his eyes, you can see hope that you’ll say yes to the third. But no. You’re not ready, you can’t. In your mind, you suck. So you convince Hoseok to go with Marley for now.

So, days go by. Marley comes pretty often to record. Hoseok’s not frowning that much about it anymore. And you notice how every chance she gets, Marley is pulling the moves on Yoongi. Which seem to work, since sometimes they come in or leave together. None of it bothers you at all, you tell yourself.

One day, you come in pretty late at night remembering you left your notes there. Since you have a spare key, you think you can be in and out unnoticed. Silly you because once you hear Yoongi playing the piano, you can’t just leave. You wait outside the room until he’s done and some stupid momentary courage makes you go in.

“Oh- I’m sorry.” you instantly say when you see Marley sitting next to him. “I just forgot my- I was leaving-”

“Wait!” Yoongi says hurridly to stop you. “We were done here anyway.”

Marley doesn’t look happy but gets up and leaves.

“No really, I got my notes and I was about to head out. She doesn’t need to leave on my account-”

“It’s not on your account. But since you came in here, you must have something to say?”

Why does it feel like he wants you to say something? Why does it seem like he wants you to stay? You’re convinced it’s your own mind playing tricks on you.

“No. I don’t.” you lie with a broken voice. But your feet aren’t leaving. And Yoongi is still staring at you with a cold attitude but expecting eyes.

“Fine.” you give up and say. “I thought the piano room wasn’t allowed to just anyone. I guess since she was in here...” you cut yourself off. The piano room was kind of your special place when you were together. Nobody other than you was allowed in here. This is the place you two would spend hours and hours coming up with songs. Or just talking about things you shared only with each other.

“I’m just giving her piano lessons for some extra cash. And this room doesn’t mean much to me anymore.”

His answer dissappoints you. Not the part that he indirectly said they weren’t dating. The latter part. “And here I thought the whole secrecy of the piano room was just your way of pulling the moves on whoever you’re dating.” As long as the sentence is finished, you regret saying it. You know it isn’t right. What you said is unfair to every intimate and meaningful moment you had with him here. And your words come down like the last drop on his patience.

He shoots out of the seat. “If I wasn’t so goddamn sure that you already know how you’re the first person I ever brought in here, I’d be hurt. But instead I’m just pissed.”

He’s right to be. So you can’t say anything back.

“How can you even-” he stops for a moment. “But that’s just your way, isn’t it? Spit out venom whenever you don’t like something.”

“Me?” you ask in shock. Now this you can’t have. “No. Poisonous words are your specialty.”

“And you already left me for it, didn’t you? You left me so why would you care who I bring in here anyway?” He’s switched to his shouting voice now.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But I left because you pushed me away, Yoongi.” He averts his gaze to the floor while you continue. “I know that you love music more than anything else but what I also happen to know is that you use it as an escape. An excuse to not get too close. But guess what? We were already too close for me to not realise what you were doing! And that is why I left!”

Both of you are obviously done shouting and silence takes over the room for a while. You already had to push back tears like twice now, so you decide to leave but just then, Yoongi has something to say.

“This room will never have any significance with anyone else besides you. Just know that.” he silently admits with his eyes still fixed on the ground. You don’t say anything and just walk away.

It’s nearly the end of the semester and Hoseok’s mixtape is finally finished. He was so exited that he accidentely published it three times in a row on soundcloud. And the fact that he’s getting some great feedback is the icing on top.

In the meantime, you’ve been doing a lot of thinking. After that fight with Yoongi, you’ve started to seriously consider the fact that maybe leaving him just like that was a mistake. Because yes, you were hurt that after all you had been through, he was still trying to keep you at bay. You felt like as you were falling completely and irreversably for him, he was still holding back. But when you left, you were gone all the way. Leaving him all alone when you knew he was hurt.

Spending the last couple of months together, you finally admitted to yourself that you missed him. And that it did bother you seeing him with other girls. It bothered you that Marley was so obviously into him. Even though he made it clear he wasn’t interested, you still felt... jealous.

But you never mustered up the courage to talk to him about any of these. Even though it seems like lately he’s trying not to be cold around you, trying to strike up random converstions in efforts to perhaps recover at least your friendship. For some stupid reason you can’t seem to dare let him back in.

Your buzzing phone pulls you out of your thoughts. You check and see it’s your best friend that you’ve been feeling extra proud of these days.

“Yes, my successful, on his way to become a star best friend?”

“Oh my god, Y/N. You won’t believe this!” he squeaks while talking. And you hate the suspense so you tell him to hurry up and tell you what’s up.

“Yoongi’s friend in radio 12 agreed to play the title song!”

“What??” you start to squeak in exitement as well. “When? When will it be on?”

“In about two minutes! Just put the station on, now!” he orders and hangs up immediately. He’ll probably call his parents next. You quickly do as he says and for sure, the next song is Hoseok’s title track. You start hopping in your bed, dancing around in your room with the dumbest smile on your face but then-

The bridge comes and it’s your voice. That’s impossible, you think. But it is you singing the bridge. And then it hits you. That one night you snuck into the studio with your spare key and recorded this exact bit, just to see how it’d be... As always, you thought it wasn’t good enough. But instead of deleting, you hid the file. Guess you couldn’t hide it that well, after all. Was it Hoseok that did this? Or...

Your phone buzzes again and once again it’s Hoseok. “Y/N- This was the best surprise you ever made for me. I’m literally about to cry, you sound so good! Thank you for doing this.”

It wasn’t Hoseok, then. But you’re thrilled to know he likes it that much. You’re thrilled to hear yourself on a freaking radio station that so many people listen to! It feels amazing. It gives you so much confidence. So much that after ending the call with Hoseok, you decide to go to the only person left who could’ve done this.

You’re at Yoongi’s door. You haven’t been here for a long time but despite the nervousness, you manage to knock. It’s pretty late but you know he’s a night owl, he should be up. Soon enough, he opens the door. He’s taken aback to see you at first but then his surprised expression turns into worry.

“I know why you’re here. I’m sorry I used the recording without your consent but-”

You launch yourself onto him and crash your lips on his. His response is so quick that it’s almost automatic. He pulls you in even more, closes the door with his foot and traps your body againts the wall with his own. All the while not parting your lips once. Your hands go to his hair. You’ve been wanting to brush your fingers through his hair ever since you’ve seen that he bleached it again after two years. You pull at the tips slightly. It makes him hum into your mouth.

“Wait-” he says while he pulls away suddenly. “You-” You’re both out of breath. “Are you really okay with what I did?”

“Yes.” You close the distance once again and this time he moves you to the couch. You’ve missed this couch. You’ve missed him...

He pulls back again. “Y/N- wait. What are we doing?”

“What do you think?” you tease as your lips travel down to his neck.

“I wanna talk to you first, though.” he manages to say between his panting.

“So talk.” you say and go back to the week spots on his neck, secretly smiling against his skin.

“You’re not-” he swallows a groan. “exactly making it easy.” He then pulls your head up to face him and gives you another long kiss. But this time not out of the heat of the moment. Instead with so much meaning engraved on it.

“Y/N... I never meant to hurt you.” he says staring into your eyes. “You were right, I was a coward but- I swear if you give me another chance, I will give it my all. I’ll be a thousand percent in.”

You smile. He looks so much like a lost puppy that it makes you want to tease him. “Well, prove that to me right now then.” you say slyly.

“Uhh- I will. I- I’m gonna go dye my hair brown, right now. I bleached it to get your attention, anyway. Not to attract others, I promise.” he says in panic.

You burst into laughter. When you first started dating, you talked him into not bleaching his hair anymore. You always said it was only for his health but he always knew you were jealous of girls getting attracted because of it, too. “No, don’t. I actually missed how even hotter it makes you look. Let’s keep that for now.” you say. “I was kidding, you don’t have to do or say any-”

“I love you.”

You pause. It’s not the first time he tells you that. But this time he says it in such a way that you’re certain it’s the real thing. Even more real than before. “I love you, too.”

“So...” he leans into you and whispers in your ear. “Couch or bed?”

You both giggle. “Surprise me.” you whisper back and he quickly tries to lift you but fails, making you both laugh out loud. “Umm- I haven’t been working out lately, baby. I’m sorry.” he says between giggles.

Between all the laughter, you silently thank him for giving you another chance, too. And make a mental promise that you won’t give this up so easily ever again.

....

A/N: This was my first Yoongi fic and I feel good about it. It’s really hard to imagine Yoongi not being a god at music so anytime I use him as a character, he’s always a prodigy lol. I can’t help it he’s just really good. Anyways if you’ve bared with this, thank you sooo much for reading and I hope you liked it. Let me know if you did. Always wash your hands and stay healthy :)

[ivory-sunflower]

Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere. 

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless. 

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx 

29/11/2020