#I still have it as my wallpaper and that won't be changing anytime soon

[chanis-banani]

you really went for the kill with this one

Deep End

Pairing: Choi Soobin x fem!reader

Summary: Soobin thinks you could be the most dangerous thing to ever happen to him, if he let you (or: not even the ambience of a city rooftop can distract Soobin from you).

Word Count: 5.7k

Tags/Warnings: mature content (minors dni), pwfwp (porn with feelings without plot), public sex, established relationship, man is a simp

Author’s Note: the lovely @chanis-banani has allowed me to post the birthday gift I made for her 🥰 I played myself by writing it for her because now I’m kinda nuts about him too. Whoops.

Soobin has never been a particularly possessive or territorial person before, so he’s unprepared for how it feels to see you in his shirt.

He watches you in the reflection of the hotel elevator, mesmerized. The shirt is a button-down, oversized even on Soobin. He’d helped you roll up each sleeve four times just to give your wrists some breathing room, and from how it fits on you, it gives the appearance that it’s the only thing you’re wearing at all. He’s trying very hard not to stare at your bare legs, focusing in on your little painted toenails to try and stay respectful. He’s not sure if it’s working. Nothing feels respectful about the way he looks at you these days.

The two of you are on a weekend trip to the city together, seizing the opportunity for quality time alone during a rare time when neither of you have anything in your schedules. You’d suggested pretending it was a fancy weekend, and Soobin had taken you at your word and sprung for a nicer hotel than usual, particularly because of how your face had lit up at the idea of a rooftop pool.

The two of you are on the way to this pool now, and instead of wearing normal clothes over your swimsuit, you’d insisted on borrowing one of his shirts. He’d agreed without really thinking about it, and once the sleeves were rolled up you’d declared it was perfect.

Soobin can’t disagree, either, because he can’t stop looking at you in it. Something about it being your idea makes it even better. He likes the way you look in it, but in a way he didn’t expect. Some sort of base instinct in his gut is glowing, seeing you in something of his.

Then again, you’ve always fascinated him, even before the two of you began seeing each other. You’ve always lit up every room he sees you in, something about how you carry yourself drawing the klutzy moth of him to you like flame. He’s never wanted to know so much about another person before. He loves learning every little thing that makes you laugh, that makes you chatty, that incites reactions in you.

He can’t believe he convinced you to say yes when he asked you out, amazed you allowed him to keep coming back for more. He feels like a naturalist who got outrageously lucky enough to get close to their favorite beloved wildlife, like he has to drink in and take note of everything he can get of you in case you spook and flee. Like he can puzzle out the mystery of you if he studies you closely enough.

You catch him staring in the reflection and make a silly face. He grins and makes one back, shifting closer to you and watching his reflection drape an arm over your shoulders. He’s realizing recently how often you draw him in, how he’s always looking for reasons to be as close to you as he can. If he really was a moth, he’d be scorched to a crisp by now.

He can feel you practically vibrating with excitement as the two of you step out onto the roof. There’s a huge grin on your face as you gaze around with eyes so big that Soobin knows you wish you had more of them to take it all in.

“Not too shabby, then?” He asks, charmed at the way you flit from place to place, exploring.

“What do you mean, not too shabby? It’s perfect,” you gush, gesturing from thing to thing and bouncing on the balls of your feet. “Look at the view, ugh, it’s so—and the pool? It’s perfect, the water is so pretty, it’s all so pretty here at night, look at all the other buildings lit up, I’m just—!”

You take a deep breath and blow it out slowly, face still aglow. “Okay. Calming down.”

He grins, making his way to a chaise lounge near the pool and sitting. “That’s the spirit.”

“Why is it so empty up here on a night like this?” You wonder, staring up and around at the nearby buildings and night sky.

A private smile twitches at the corner of Soobin’s mouth. “Yeah, seems way too nice out not to be up here.”

“Definitely nice enough to swim,” you muse, turning to him and batting your eyes once. “You’ll swim with me, right?”

It was never a question that he would, but Soobin feigns uncertainty. “Hmm...”

“Just for a little bit,” you insist, shoulders slumping, and he can’t help laughing.

“’Course, that’s why we came up here.”

You pout at him, making your way over to his chair. “Rude.”

He watches you approach, endeared at the little frown line between your brows when you pout, how it makes your lips even more distracting. “You’re just easy to bother.”

You make a face at him. “Just for that, you can have your shirt back.”

His mouth goes a little dry when your hands go to the top button, fiddling.

“Oh no, please, anything but that,” he tries to deadpan, but his voice rasps.

You roll your eyes, amused, as you pop the first button. “Perv.”

He can’t even refute you. It’s like erotic torture, watching you unbutton the shirt—his shirt; god, that really is doing things to him. The buttons are on the opposite placket than you’re used to, which means you move slower, and Soobin watches in an agony of lust as inch after inch of your skin is revealed.

You shrug the shirt off when it’s finally unbuttoned, tossing it into his lap and wandering to the edge of the pool. He tries to get himself back under control, but your swimsuit leaves so much less to the imagination than anything else he usually sees you wear that it’s impossible.

You look back over your shoulder at him, pausing on the steps descending into the water. “You coming?”

He nods, dazed.

You raise an eyebrow, smirk teasing the corners of your mouth. “You good?”

That depends heavily on what “good” means. He considers saying this, knows you’ll enjoy the philosophical banter, but when he opens his mouth his throat is too dry to speak. He shuts his mouth and clears his throat, giving up. “I...yeah. Great.”

His face feels hot when you wink at him, tip of your tongue between your teeth. Jesus.

He watches you wade down into the pool and tries to think of boring things, like taxes and bylaws and coding instructions, anything but how breathtaking every inch of you is. It doesn’t work, especially when you dip beneath the surface briefly, then come back up, swiping your hair back from your face more flawlessly than any model.

“Water’s fine,” you murmur, and something in your expression makes him think you’re fully aware that he’s wrapped around your little finger.

Maybe the water will clear his head. He grabs the scruff of his shirt and yanks it over his head. “Coming.”

He doesn’t bother with the steps, heads straight for the deep end and hops in. The cool water is a welcome shock to his system, as well as the muted quiet of underwater. He lingers near the bottom, waiting until his lungs ache for air to push back towards the shallow end.

When he resurfaces, you’re floating on your back, gazing up at the night sky. He swipes his hair out of his face and rises to his full height, angling to see you better. You have your mouth pursed in a specific way to keep from inhaling water, and your hair splays out around your head in the water in gentle, undulating waves, Medusa-style. There are little twinkling reflections in your eyes of the world you’re drinking in above you. Bliss in your face.

Oh no, a voice in the back of Soobin’s mind says, and looking at you feels like he’s made of glass and is being shoved off a high ledge. But Soobin can’t bring himself to be frightened, can only concentrate on the pleasant swoop in his stomach as he plummets. He thinks he might enjoy being shattered by you.

You jerk in surprise when you catch him watching you, a thrash of water. “Jesus.”

He feels a grin tugging at his lips. “Sorry,” he says, not sorry at all.

“Why are you just standing there staring, you weirdo?” You move upright again, and your mad scientist hair flattens into a streaming curtain down your back. Pale blue pool light reflects in little waves over your skin, and Soobin would believe someone in this moment if they told him you were a water goddess.

He can’t tear his gaze away from you, still grinning like a fool. “You’re interesting.”

You raise an eyebrow, teasing smile back on your face.

“Interesting, huh.”

“Mhm.” He starts wading your way at that dreamlike pace water always demands. Moth, meet flame.

“Me, or my tits?”

“I—that wasn’t what—” Soobin stammers. “What—I hadn’t even looked at—”

And he hadn’t, truly. Except of course they’re now at the forefront of his mind, now that you’ve mentioned them, and invisible magnetism keeps tempting his gaze down, a losing fight with the thought of them right at the top of his brain, and now he’s noticing your chest, half-submerged, the gleam of soaked skin and droplets in tantalizing places, noticing the wet cling of swimsuit fabric to curving soft skin. He wonders how it might feel to glide his hands over and under and around, whether you would feel cool or warm under his mouth, and his mind hadn’t been on this track two seconds ago, it really hadn’t...

He hears you snort, tears his gaze back to your face, schoolboy guilt bunched in his stomach.

“Mmhmm,” you say, unbelieving. Your pleased little grin eases the shame, a balm on his heart.

“Yah, I really wasn’t,” he protests. “...but now that you mention it...”

Your snicker is cute, everything about you is so cute, and when did this happen, how did this happen, how did you become the most irresistible thing in Soobin’s world without him catching whiff of it before?

You surprise him when you lunge for him when he’s close enough, your arms flinging around his neck, soft mouth covering his. Like kissing him is a relief, like to you he’s something special, something to look forward to. He’s not going to question why, even if his own appeal to you puzzles him, just pulls you closer with his hands on your hips and kisses you back.

You pull back far too quickly, and he frowns, missing you already. He’s immediately distracted, though, at the delicate feeling of your fingertips ruffling in the soggy strands of his hair.

“Thanks for springing for this place,” you murmur, grateful little smile on your face. “I love it.”

“’Course, baby,” he hums, trying not to feel too smug for nailing it. All of it was worth it just for this.

Your gaze follows a droplet of water traveling down his neck and over his chest. One of your hands leaves his hair, tracing the wing of his collarbone gently.

“You’re really hot when you’re all wet,” you admit, floating off your feet and hooking your legs around his waist.

Your positioning immediately stokes his carnal interest. He blinks, dazed grin spreading slowly over his face.

“Only when I’m all wet?” He teases, hands on a slow glide from your hips to cup beneath your thighs, holding you in place.

You tsk at him, fingers still playing in slow, hypnotic patterns through his hair and over his chest. “Fishing for compliments? Don’t tell me you don’t hear them all the time. We know what you look like.”

He loves watching your mouth when you talk. The shape of your lips is something he’s constantly cataloguing for long-term memory, both from looking at and feeling them with his own.

“I only ever want your compliments,” he says absently, thumbs drawing little circles on your thighs, completely mesmerized. “They’re the only ones that count.”

He can see the reflection of the flickering surface of the pool in your eyes. Something thrills in his chest when the edges of your smile turn a little shy.

“Flirt,” you murmur, leaning in closer.

He blinks, drawing the tip of his nose along yours slowly. He can’t remember what he said. He should try to remember, should take it down to use later, but you’re quite literally hanging all over him and you’re all wet in a swimsuit and your mouth is only inches away and he is not God’s strongest soldier, after all.

He leans down and fastens his mouth over yours, kissing you like he has all the time in the world. It’s quickly becoming one of his favorite things to do, finding all the ways your mouths can fit together. He teases the tip of his tongue along your lower lip, heart racing when you sigh into his mouth and open for him. God. The taste of you, mingled with pool water and the lip balm you’d borrowed from him earlier, is enough to turn off all the thoughts in his brain.

Mouth still playing over yours, he wades slowly backward, inching towards the pool steps, crouching as the water gets shallow to keep you both weightless in the water. His heel knocks against the bottom step and he stumbles back, kiss breaking as he sits down hard.

Your little giggle goes straight to his crotch for reasons he can’t decipher. He grins, sheepish, lifts himself up to sit on the next-highest step, reaching for your hips and reeling you back in. You straddle his lap without him even having to ask, more proof to his mind that you’re perfect, and when he tilts his chin up you meet him halfway.

Everything about you in his arms feels right, and Soobin feels something unidentifiable deep within him settling into place. All his senses are honed in on you, on your mouth moving with his, on the gentle chaos of your breath, on the soft suppleness of you relaxing into him as he kisses you with slow, consuming ardor. His hands slide in restless patterns over you, and eventually his mouth parts from yours and drags along the line of your jaw.

“For the record,” he murmurs, pausing to nip softly at your earlobe, “you’re really hot when you’re all wet, too.”

Your laugh is breathless, a bolt of heat to his gut. “Only when I’m all wet?”

“Especially when you’re all wet,” he whispers, nuzzling against the hollow beneath your ear, savoring how you shiver.

Your skin is cool beneath his mouth, and he makes it a personal mission to warm it again, openmouthed kisses gliding smooth and wet and hot along the expanse of your neck, the curve of your shoulder, the wing of your collarbone. He feels you hum and relax further into his lap, tension in your muscles melting you closer against him, candle wax near open flame. He marvels innocently at how incredibly silky you are, even over firmer places, how there’s a hint of you behind the chlorine on your skin, and he needs more of it, feels an itch in his brain for more you in his senses.

“Hey,” you protest halfheartedly as he fumbles with the ties of your swimsuit top. “This is a public pool, someone could come up.”

“Mhm,” he mumbles, hearing the words purely at a sound level, feeling the ties come loose in his hands with a slithery tickle. He nuzzles into the inside curve of your breast, nudging fabric away from wet skin, mouth slipping along the plush undercurve. Pure fascination wins out as he opens his mouth wider, bites, sucks.

He feels you twitch in surprise at the feeling, soothes his hands along your back in half-apology, laser-focused on the feel, the taste of you in his mouth. You’re sensitive here, not as excruciatingly sensitive as your nipples, but that just means he doesn’t have to be as careful, can let his curiosity at the feeling of you win unrestricted.

He continues nibbling and sucking in that spot, slides a hand around to your front and tugs the now-loose top away, tossing it behind him blindly. He feels your hands tighten on his shoulders when he settles his hand back on you, cupping your other breast. He eases the pad of his thumb in gentle circles over your areola, mesmerized at the way the skin puckers and tightens to a point under the lazy caress. He hears you swallow back a moan, feels one of your hands slide up and weave fingers through his hair, and that base instinct deep in his gut puffs its chest knowing that he affects you like this.

He lifts his mouth from your skin with a crude pop, other hand sliding from your back to brush a thumb over the hickey. He knows you love when he leaves them on your neck, but it still makes him shy to know other people will see them and make assumptions about what your love lives are like. This one, however, on this pillowy curve of skin that only the two of you get to see, is right up his alley. Satisfied with how dark it is already, he nuzzles your breast and settles his mouth over your nipple.

The little noise you make is adorable, and Soobin finds himself smiling against your skin. He traces his tongue over the budding peak, unhurried, takes your other nipple between his fingers and pinches until you gasp. He can’t resist rolling it slowly between his fingers, twisting one way and then the other as he circles the other in lazy circles with his tongue.

He hears a frayed whimper in your throat, the helpless wriggle of your hips against his inflaming him further. He’s never been addicted to a person before, but he’s hooked on you for sure, wants to take inventory of every inch of you, every reaction he can incite, every texture and scent and movement. He drags his mouth to your other breast and kisses your poor abused nipple gently, massages it better with his tongue as his hand takes over the one he left behind.

All of you drowns his senses—the cool slipperiness of your skin, the little whines you sigh out, the way you keep cinching yourself closer to him, burying your face against his hair, agonizing friction in your laps. He can’t stop himself from groping your ass and tucking your hips in tighter against his, fascinated by the feeling of your muscles twitching and contracting with desire.

He makes a noise of surprise when your hand in his hair tightens and yanks, angling his face up to yours. You crush your mouth over his, and his hands are immediately all over you, roaming restless paths over every inch of you he can reach, urging you closer. He wants to drown in you, be consumed by you, devour you with all five senses at once and then more.

It’s not enough. He wrenches his mouth from yours, panting, tapping your hip.

“Up,” he pants.

You hesitate only a second before moving off of his lap. He stands quickly and takes your hand, sloshing his way up the remaining steps and out of the pool with you in tow.

You seem to be on the same wavelength, to an extent, matching his pace as he makes his way over to the chairs with your things on them. He guides you in front of him, a twinge of fondness in his chest at the sight of your arm attempting to cover your chest, as if that doesn’t just make them look especially sumptuous, and he wants his hands back on you, wants to test how squishable—

“Down,” he pants, hand nudging your shoulder until you sit on the chaise, then nudging again until you lie back. His other hand is already untying your swim bottoms, one side and then the other, gaze laser-focused as he leans in and presses a kiss low on your abdomen, parting your legs.

“I—wait, ‘Binnie,” you protest, hand coming to his head. “Stop—we are outside, someone could look out a window and see—”

“Don’t care,” he mumbles against your skin, mouth already gliding along the inside of your thigh. The looming buildings nearby, the vague hum of city life stories below, the night sky, the pool, everything is in a foggy haze in Soobin’s mind. His only focus is you, on how downy soft you are, how you shiver as his tongue darts out to catch at water droplets on your skin.

“Easy for you to say, you’re still wearing someth—ah,” you squeak as Soobin yanks your now-completely untied bottoms away, balling them up absently in one hand and hurling them to oblivion. “Wait, I’m serious, Soobinnnnnnngh.”

He groans into the apex of your thighs, mouth open wide and tongue flattened along as much of you as possible. God, yes, this is exactly what he’s after, concentration and essence of you overwhelming his senses. Slowly, he curls the tip of his tongue, dragging his mouth up, the motion gently parting wet layers of inner softness. You slap a hand over your mouth, moaning as the tip of his tongue laves over the sensitive crest at the very peak, and he lingers there for a moment, leaving an openmouthed kiss.

Blindly, he fumbles above him, finding your arm and pulling your hand away from your mouth, anchoring your wrist to the chaise. He feels your other hand tighten hard in his hair as he continues leaving wet, sucking kisses all over the sensitive tucks and pleats of flesh, working you up with ruthless patience.

He daydreams about this more often than he cares to admit, even more so when the two of you are apart, and he’s determined to learn and implement the way you like it best, the way that makes you lose all sense of shame. Admittedly, he gets a little carried away in part because you’ve told him your former partners were merely passable at eating you out. His competitive streak, combined with this growing obsession with you, make him determined to be extra attentive whenever you grant him this opportunity.

It’s difficult to stay focused, though, the hot and wet feel of you on his mouth, the taste of you on his tongue, enough to make him delirious. He easily gets lost in the savoring, mapping every inch of you under his tongue, lingering in places just because it makes you tremble and whine like you’re desperate for him, and he wants you just as desperate for him as he feels about you.

He hums into you, delighted, when your legs close in around his head as he closes his mouth over your clit and sucks. Everything goes muffled, even the little moans of his name you’re trying to bite back, but it hardly matters when he can feel your limbs shaking, feel you hot and throbbing against his mouth. You start trying to buck your hips into his face, and he slides his free arm over your abdomen and pins you down, steadying you both. He tongues over you in wet, languid strokes, feels the clenching flutter of the entrance into your body. Pure fascination drives him again, and he strokes you there again, stiffening his tongue and driving it into you.

Oh, god. The tight, blistering heat of you, the taste, nearly unmans him. He moans into you, guttural, and nearly loses his mind at the way he can feel your inner muscles fluttering and clenching rhythmically on his tongue like a heartbeat.

The overwhelming need to make you come slams into him like a tidal wave. He’s determined now, anchoring you in place and delving his tongue into you in delicately aggressive thrusts, nuzzling into you deeper and deeper. He can hear you whining even with your thighs muffling his ears, the sound increasingly desperate, and he wants to give you anything in the whole world that you want, would roll over and bark if you asked, so he doubles his efforts and slides his mouth back up to suck and tongue at that most sensitive bud, wringing sensation like raw honey from the comb.

He wonders for a brief moment if he could come just like this, completely untouched with his face buried between your legs, moaning into you like your pleasure is his own, and if that makes him a munch then so be it. And then you tense and tighten against him for a full moment and the pleasure uncoils, your whole body arching and shuddering in euphoria. He shoves his tongue back into you and moans, lightheaded at each of the siphoning ripples of fulfillment pulling him in deeper, drunk on the little sobs of pleasure you make.

God. He’s never wanted anything as much as he wants to be wrapped up in you right the fuck now. He eases you through the quaking pulses of ecstasy and starts fumbling with the drawstring of his swimsuit, taking care not to touch himself for fear of blowing his load in his pants like a teenager. Raw need claws at his insides like a rabid animal, desire to make sure everything is perfect for you warring against his impatience, his craving to skip over things like a condom and gentleness and—

Condom. Oh. He remembers reminding himself to grab one, remembers seeing the box of them tucked into his bag and knowing one would be needed, and yet here he is, empty-handed. Fuck.

“We have to go back to the room,” he groans, leaning back and mopping his chin with the back of his hand. “Now. I need to be in you more than I need to live another day.”

Through your pleasured exhaustion, a lazy smile forms on your lips. You shake your head, glancing over and gesturing at his dress shirt you’d borrowed.

“Don’t need to go back downstairs,” you breathe, and fuck, your post-orgasm voice is devastatingly sexy. “Get the shirt, I brought a condom.”

He blinks at you, once, twice, not comprehending. “You...”

Color flushes over your skin prettily. “I...I thought it never hurts to be prepared. For anything.”

Soobin is trying to process that you’ve had a plan for being up here that involves a condom. Dazed, he glances over at the neighboring chaise, reaches for the shirt.

“Is there a condom...in the shirt...?”

Your breathless giggle ties his insides into little knots.

“You didn’t notice the weird shape in the breast pocket earlier?” You ask, eyes crinkled in mirth.

Through the haze of oh my god she wants us to fuck, Soobin finds it in him to be indignant again. “I wasn’t looking at—I was trying not to look, you know, at...”

He huffs a sigh as he extracts the condom from the shirt pocket, unable to stay annoyed even as you keep giggling at him.

“Here I was trying to be respectful,” he tsks, smiling even as his ears grow hot.

You snort. “Ah yes, the respectful boyfriend that strips his girlfriend at a public pool and commits sex acts on her where anyone could stumble in on them.”

“No one’s going to stumble in,” Soobin breathes, trying to make his hands dry enough to tear the condom packet open.

“What do you mean?”

“Pool’s closed,” he says, giving up and tearing at the packet with his teeth.

“The pool is closed? Are we going to get in trouble for—”

“It’s not really closed,” he says. “I just paid the front desk to tell the rest of the hotel guests that it’s closed.”

You stare at him for so long in stunned silence that he starts feeling a little antsy. “You bribed the hotel...so you could have sex with me?”

“I would bribe anyone with anything to spend even five platonic minutes alone with you,” he protests, fumbling the condom out of the wrapper.

He stills when you grab his wrist, arresting him with your stare. There’s something at work behind your eyes, something he doesn’t know the name for.

“What?” He whispers.

After a long moment, you swallow. “Nothing. I just...no, nothing. Here, let me.”

You keep eye contact as you slip the condom out of his hand, and he shivers when your other hand brushes down his abdomen. His breath stutters when you take hold of him, and he feels himself twitch in your hand after going so long neglecting himself.

If he doesn’t redirect his attention he may still finish before he can even get inside you. “People might—might still be able to see from windows,” he stammers as you roll the condom on, spreading your legs.

You shrug a shoulder, abashed smile still on your face. “If they see, they see,” you breathe.

Sometimes you make him breathless.

“Remind me not to believe you,” he murmurs, settling himself between your legs, “when you say you’re too shy to do this out in the open.”

You laugh as he drags his tip over you, catching on your entrance. “Don’t push it, this is a special ca—ohh.”

Ohh, indeed. Soobin moans and drops his forehead against your temple, feeling what little remains of his sanity obliterating the further inside he eases into you. You’ve been intimate like this before, but no matter how prepared Soobin thinks he is, every time feels like the first time all over again. Nothing ever truly prepares him for the scalding hot, wet glide into unimaginable tightness, for how even when you’re relaxed, he has to bully himself into you inch by inch. He’s shaking with the effort to be gentle, nudges his hips slowly until bit by bit, all of him is enveloped snugly inside.

“How can you feel this perfect,” he groans, most of the willpower left at his disposal exerted on lasting, good god he needs to last even just to feel you around him like this for longer—

You laugh again, breathless, and the way that feels when you’re connected like this is sinfully good. “I try.”

“No you don’t,” he gasps, rocking his hips gingerly into yours. “You just are.”

You whimper as the angle of his hips drives him into a sensitive place inside of you. He grinds into the spot again, careful, his restraint threadbare but hanging on.

“Please,” you pant, hitching your knees further up, and the adjustment of angle forcing him even deeper.

Soobin nearly chokes on his own tongue. Fuck. He thrusts like he’s afraid of himself, mantra of don’t come don’t come don’t come flooding the forefront of his mind, sheer force of will.

“I won’t break,” you plead, voice so breathy and fucked-out it belongs in high-end porn. Sweet merciful god, he can’t do this.

He feels your mouth drag along his shoulder, and then a flash of sharpness. His body reacts to the bite before his mind can catch up, hips surging hard against yours, strangled noise punching out of his throat. Your legs tighten around him, intimate muscles clenching in that way that means hell yes, and the groan from deep in his chest is inevitable as he snaps his hips again. Fuck.

Yeah, okay, he can do this for you. That base instinct in his gut purrs like a feral dragon at the way you can no longer hide your moans, being fucked like this. His new goal now is to build stamina, he’s determined, needs to be able to do you exactly how you want it for hours without stopping. He thinks he might be moaning too but he can’t hear, so preoccupied with drinking in every clench of your muscles around him, every little pleasured expression on your face, addiction to every part of you wrapped around him like this so intense he feels lightheaded.

He can’t tell if you’re shaking or he is, only knows you’re pulling him in like you aren’t already as close as it is humanly possible to be, like that somehow isn’t enough, like you can meld yourselves into a singular being if you try hard enough. Your fingernails dig hard into his shoulders, your breath stuttering in that way that tells him just what’s coming next, and then you shatter around him.

You become impossibly tighter around him, bearing down with rhythmic spasms luring him deeper inside, as if that’s even possible, like he hasn’t been working himself as deep into you as he can go, purely for selfish reasons. He never wants to leave, would live inside you if he could, and he loves that you get like this with him, loves the way you go soft and pliant when the release begins ebbing, god, he loves—

His release hits him with no warning, no buildup, hard as a bullet train. Fuck. It feels like nothing that’s ever happened to him before, and a stab of panic electrocutes him through the feeling. His ears are ringing, alarm bells tolling danger in his bones, and he feels out of control, completely gone, glass making impact at last and shattering into far-flung pieces, impossible to gather again. It’s all he can do to gasp for breath, clutching at you like handfuls of sand that keep slipping away, hips rocking into you, slow, rhythmic, with a mind of their own.

Your arms slide around his back, warm pressure like an anchor point, and just with that, with your tight embrace and each deep breath you take, you’ve found each piece of him, binding him back together. Only now the essence of you fills in the cracks, the healing balm, each sinew of him now limned with your glow. A moth made of flame.

Soobin tries to take as even breaths as possible, tries to sound calm, rests his face against the chaise next to your face and feels a hot stinging drip from his eyelashes.

He knows what that look in your eyes was earlier, he realizes. The unidentifiable emotion. He knows because it’s clicking for him right now, the knowledge that he feels that way, too.

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[sherimj]

Looking for rundown, broken, torn, etc CC for a Sims 4 storyline

Although I don't have much experience in #The Sims 4 yet, I do have a storyline in mind (which accidentally might also help me write a book :D ) and for this I need CC and/or mods for (preferably #Sulani) housing that shows a house is basically unliveable. Things like broken furniture, torn wallpaper, cracked walls, torn rugs, broken planks and tiles, broken wood paneling (and like the reed paneling), etc. But also things like cobwebs (for the life of me, I can't seem to be able to find those despite seeing them in screenshots!), maybe some broken kitchenware, broken dishes, dead plants (including dead palm trees and other plants your might find outside, and also the living version if it's a CC plant) etc. Anything that shows a house (and its garden) is truly broken down and needs a LOT of love to be rebuild. The premise is that the sim inherits this house in Sulani (Chieftain's villa) after she has broken off with her family. She needs to build her up her life again from (almost) scratch.

If it helps in anyway, I currently own the following packs (and that won't change anytime soon, because I'm currently on a VERY TIGHT budget because I have just lost my job due to having contracted COVID/Post-COVID two years ago and still suffering from it and not being able to work anymore): * Basegame (obviously) * Get to work * Island Living * Eco Lifestyle * Seasons * Home Chef Hustle * Holiday Celebration * Cool Kitchen * Crystal Creations I already have the following CC, but more is very much welcome since I love to try out things and play around a bit :) : * Several things from Forgotten Cherry Hollows/Kirsicca (Toilet, Wallpaper 1, Paint Splashes, Wallpaper 2) * Ravasheen's Filthy Fabulous Part 1 and Part 2 * @mossylane's Your place or mine * Around The Sims Recups Living * @pictureamoebae's Walk the Plank Walls * SimMattically's Home Renovation Set All of the above I found with a lot of help from the amazing simmers on Ravasheen's Discord. A big shout out to all of them as well!

I know there's a mod for cracks and such that you need to repair, but that mod requires the vampires or werewolves pack (I don't remember which one) and unfortunately I have neither.

I also have (I think it's) TwistedMexi's tools that gives the BREAK object, but that only works on things like appliances, showers, toilets, etc. Of course starting fires is also in the planning, but I found the NPC's are very quick in extinguishing the fires (I evicted the original inhabitants of the lot :D ) If you happen to know anymore CC that might fit with the island living pack and especially with the Chieftain's villa, that would be awesome! Thanks everyone for your help!

[willowfolksong]

hold your hands

- Hakkai Shiba x Reader × Taiju Shiba

- SFW; slightly suggestive

💙 His hands are shaking when he confesses to you. And he thinks they always are anytime you're in front of him. Still, he gives you the letter he wrote during the night, eyes downcast and cheeks aflame, as you carefully take a step back and place a hand on his arm to tell him that you're sorry, but you're seeing someone else.

💙 The feeling of your hand on his arm lingers for hours after the events on the school roof, when he's trying to contain his tears on the way home.

💙 Hakkai Shiba fell in love with you without remedy, and always knew he wouldn't have a turn back option. He was doomed from the start, when you raised your eyes toward him, offering him with a smile to help him with his homework.

💙 He craved your kindness, your voice, the sweet secret smiles you sent his way anytime he did well on a tutoring session.

"You're very handsome, Hakkai-kun" you tell him once, eyeing the open magazine he has on top of his desk, when you come around to help him with his Math homework "You look like one of those models"

"You really think so?" he asks you, eyes wide, and you only chuckle and pat him on the shoulder, before sitting down and start explaining everything he doesn't understands.

💙 (He won't stop thinking about that until he becomes an actual model)

💙 He writes new letters to you that he never sends: when you smile at him from a distance; when he sees you on the street, and you take a long look at his Toman uniform but your eyes don't turn cold; when his hand touches yours, while you walk down the school halls; when he briefly changes his wallpaper to a picture he took of you while you had lunch. He shows the letters to Mitsuya sometimes, the only person he trusts enough to not make fun of him and his feelings.

💙 Hakkai finds out you're dating his brother on Christmas eve. You have a present for him, you tell him, and you meet him on the park to hand him a prettily wrapped little box with a card attached to it.

💙 He feels like crying.

"I don't know what to say to this" he says, voice only a whisper. His hands are trembling, again. As always with you "You didn't have to trouble yourself"

"It's no trouble at all, silly" you laugh, burying yourself even more on your scarf "Open it!"

Inside the box rests a beautifully crafted black earring, in the shape of a triangle. He breathes, slowly, and blinks a couple of times to avoid shedding any tear in front of you.

He fails, and you're soon engulfing him in a hug that is both the worst and the best thing you could have done for him.

"I don't have anything for you" he says in horror, tears still streaming down his face.

No thank you.

No this is special.

No everything he would really want to say, but the horrible realization that he doesn't have anything to give you, and that he somehow failed the only girl he's ever loved.

You shake your head, taking a step back, and he instantly misses the warm of your body "You don't have to give me anything"

"I do" He has to. Of course he has to. He has to give you everything he has and more. "Just... maybe not for Christmas but soon? I swear I will have something for you, and I deeply apologize..."

"Please stop, Hakkai-kun" you say, and squeeze his left arm. "Its fine. I just wanted to do something for you"

"I don't have enough words to thank you"

You shake your head again, laughing, and then look at the clock "I have to go now. My... boyfriend is waiting for me. I'm going to acompany him to church"

It could be anyone. Many people go to church on Christmas. And yet...

"Your boyfriend" he repeats, blood turning cold, and you look like you regret saying that word "What's his name?"

"Taiju"

💙 He doesn't asks his brother about you. He doesn't want to say your name in front of him. At some point you're the one who ask, later on, when the coincidence in last names is too much, and he has to nod grimly. Hou don't say much anymore.

💙He puts all his energy in making the perfect gift for you. With the new year, he begs Mitsuya to teach him how to sew.

💙 He's not that good of a student at first. He's too clumsy. His hands are too big. Handling the needle sometimes feels like torture, and when looking at the many puncture wounds and cuts that now cover his hands, he sometimes feels like giving up.

"You should be more careful, Hakkai-kun" you tell him, carefully placing a bandaid around his index finger, and delicately tracing the wounds he has in the palm of his hand "Your hands are too beautiful"

"Please" he begs, and he doesn't knows if he's begging for you to stop, or for you to keep going, and his hands are trembling on the table, one of your fingers still tracing idle patterns on his skin "Do not concern yourself too much with me. This is nothing worth your trouble"

And then you smile, and kiss his knuckles, and he's done.

He kisses the same spot that night, alone in bed, before going to sleep.

💙 Taiju never brings you home. Until he does, but never introducing you, and Hakkai knows you're there because he would recognize your perfume anywhere.

💙 (You two have sex that night, on the other side of the wall, and Hakkai closes his eyes and fucks his hand in tandem with your moans. He feels like scum after, and can't sleep for days. He can only look you in the eyes again after a week)

💙 Taiju dates other girls. At the same time. It's Yuzuha who tells him, after he finally cracks and tells her about his feelings.

💙 Hakkai wants to tell you. He really does. But he knows you love his brother. Or have strong feelings for him, at least. He doesn't wants to hurt you. You're too precious, too kind, and you're his only real friend outside Toman, even if he's always wanted more.

💙 He focuses on finishing your bracelet. He'll talk to you, once it's done.

"If you break her heart, you can help her fix it as well" Yuzuha tells him.

And he will. He will pick up all the broken pieces and sew them together, because Mitsuya taugh him well.

💙 He doesn't needs to say anything. On the first day of spring, with the bracelet he made for you resting on his back pocket, he finds you crying on the school roof. You found out about Taiju's infidelities. The ever devoted, catholic man Taiju Shiba, had other women as well.

💙 Hakkai hugs you tight, and he knows that around the two of you there's million of little broken pieces, your heart all over the place.

💙He gently places the bracelet around your wrist, and kisses your temple.

And when he holds your hands in his, he realizes why they were always trembling when you were close. They were itching to hold yours.

"I'm here" he promises, an oath "I won't leave you alone"

💙 Hakkai Shiba doesn't has a turning back option. So he'll stay, for as long as you want him, and even if you never feel the same.

It doesn't matter.

He only wanted to hold your hands.

🧣 RED Love Story Collection

Part XX - Next is The Lucky One

[jungw8ns]

ROAD TRIP WITH ENHYPEN's HYUNG LINE !

PAIRING: bf! hyung line enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, reaction, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: subtle mentions of car crash (in a joking manner). WORD COUNT: 200-300 words.

HEESEUNG: driver's seat.

obv this man is the only one we can trust in driving, so even if he refuses to drive he doesn't have any other choice unless he wants the car doing breakdances on the road 🥰‼️‼️

STAY AWAKE AT ALL TIMES

if you fall asleep on him then you lose bestie i'm sorry to say this but you HAVE to talk with him the whole ride cause this man will actually ask you to pay him a few bucks by the end of the road trip.

well... Maybe you can sleep but that's only if you put up the aux for him so that when he's driving he can sing and listen to music <3

loves it when you're in the freeway and you guys are just vibing to the songs playing, ESP when the windows are down and there are barely any cars in the road

he'd actually stop the car on the side if you guys happen to pass by a really nice place while travelling and the both of you would take pics and all that stuff

likes it a lot when you hold his free hand while he's driving, it makes him feel really giddy inside. he might even place it on your thigh if he's ballsy enough

would most likely be the one to stop by the convience store and hog up all the ramen cause he just KNOWS you will be asking for food every once in a while and he is not about to spend like fifty dollars for your cravings 🙄🙄

UNLESS YOU PAY THO, HE'LL BE PARKING THE CAR TO THE FOOD PLACE AS SOON AS YOU SAY IT'S ON YOU

"riki can you change the song? I don't like this one"

'what you know about rolling down in the DEEP END–'

"NO NO STOP THE CAR ANYTHING BUT THAT 😭😭"

"hyung you're the one driving 🕴️"

don't ask why riki is in the car with you guys cause i also have no idea 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

JAY: the only one allowed to touch the aux.

CANCEL IT, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING TO THE CAR

you're planning on doing a road trip? but jay says he's busy????

let me tell you, jay is the PERFECT road trip partner

not only does he have the most immaculate music taste, he knows how to make it fun and memorable.

the only con about it is that he might end up sleeping thru the first half of the trip, but you don't blame him for it tho, mans has a packed schedule 😔

#bookedandbusy #girlboss

he would drive the car, but...

he's still a bit scared of passing the highway esp when there's a bit of traffic going on, but don't tell him i said that 🤫🤫🤫🤫

since you're the one in the wheel, make sure that you practiced how to look good while driving cause by the end of the trip you WILL want him to be AS WHIPPED for you as before

maybe even drive with one hand and roll your sleeve up a bit if you're wearing one cause HE WILL BE LOOKING AT YOU WITH HEART EYES, I GUARANTEE YOU THAT

maybe even talk about you to the members in their groupchat 🥰🥰🙏🙏

don't even be surprised if he gets a bit clingy after, he likes that he gets to spend some time with you like this

even if you guys were kind if cramped in the car, atleast you guys had fun with each other's presence

10/10 would recommend ‼️‼️

"babe you brought a jacket or a hoodie with you right? I don't want you to get cold cause i know very well that button up is thin"

"yes my wuvy muvy pumkin pie bubba 😈🥰 i did"

"UHH WHAT THE FU–"

when jake said he didn't know how to drive you thought like he was like a beginner that didn't know how to park and all that stuff BUT NO.

ALL HE KNEW WAS HOW TO TURN THE CAR ON 😭😭😭

"don't worry babe after this quick practice i'll be able to drive in no time 😎😎"

JAKE: wannabe driver.

when you guys did a test run on an empty road boy you really thought this was going to go smoothly but you should've never really expect anything cause the second he released clutch and accelerated YOU WERE SENT FLYING ✈️✈️✈️

HE STEPPED ON IT TOO HARD AND THE CAR TURNED OFF

you were thanking the person who invented seatbelts cause you guys would've probably be done for if they didn't exist

you tried again tho, you weren't about to give up on him (even tho you were on the verge to 😔)

you taught him how to get the car moving but turns out you were talking to a brick wall with a dog wallpaper

"jakey listen to me, you won't know the basics if you don't listen"

"i'm sorry :(( you just looked so cool explaining all that stuff that i got distracted"

but after that he did focus on learning.

you let him try again and this time you told him that he shouldn't rush releasing the clutch, and wouldn't you know it HE GOT THE CAR RUNNING 💃🕺💃

the both of you were so surprised but jake still had to keep his eyes on the road so you just ruffled his hair and told him he did a great job

he was so smiley after that omfg 😭😭😭😭

"love, once i get my drivers licence i'll be the one dropping you off to work, i promise 😉✋"

yea.. This man isn't touching the wheel anytime soon

SUNGHOON: the curious cat.

he watched you drive the car with ease and was like:

'my s/o is so perfect omg ❤️__❤️'

but he was very interested in driving tho, or more like he was interested in the one driving it (yes sunghoon is indeed apart of the y/n simp nation 😌)

his eyes then shifted from your face to the stick shift, there were a lot of numbers on the side and he got so confused

'wonder what that's all about'

and so he asked you 😩

"y/n what do these mean?"

he was asking with doe eyes and it was so adorable 😭

you explained it to him and he was so enthusiatic about you doing a few tricks up your sleeve and you just looked at him like 🤨🤨

"excuse me mister, do you want me to crash the car??"

"BOO LAME 🙄 /j"

"yes yes sure park sunghoon, if keeping us safe means i'm a boring person then that's fine with me 😊😒"

NOTE – hellooo writers block has been getting to me these days but i hope you liked this little enha reaction, have a nice day!

[xeunoais]

You’re All I Need

(A/N: i know i haven’t been active for a while, i had a lot of stuff going on at the time but i think i’m officially back now. and i’ve had this in my drafts for the longest time and i finally got some inspiration to finish it, so here it is! enjoy!)

Summary: You have a really bad day and then Shawn comes home from the studio and make you feel better.

-

-

You sat there completely blank. Fingers resting on the keyboard and eyes staring at what was supposed to be a word document showing hours of work, instead, it was your desktop wallpaper.

You shut your eyes, swallowing the golf ball-sized lump in your throat and counted to three. When every breath didn't feel like a heavy truck pushing down onto your chest, you set aside all the work littered across the kitchen counter and shifted focus to stop yourself from screaming out of frustration. And the perfect way to do just that - cleaning.

Cleaning always made stressful moments feel less of a weight. When you were young, probably in like middle school, your mother found you in the middle of a full clean mode of your room.

Back then it was all because of Toby, your first-ever crush, who broke your heart by declaring his own crush to your best friend. And ever since then, cleaning was your go to for diffusing pressure building moments from life's road bumps.

After the first three plates, two bowls and several cutlery pieces, the urge to scream had subsided. Rinsing off the soapy water from the last remaining glass you went to put it on the drying rack when it slipped from your grasp smashing to several pieces; big and small, all over the kitchen floor.

Clutching the counter, you counted to three once again before carefully grabbing the pieces and throwing them in the trash. But, of course, nothing had been going right today. So when the corner of the glass cut your index finger, the desire to scream or even cry became completely non-existent. Instead, all that was left was a sense of numbness.

**

You weren't sure how long you had been sitting on the floor staring at your bloody finger, but you gathered it was a while given that Shawn had gotten home from the studio. He called out your name, stopping in his tracks as he saw you in the kitchen on the floor.

"Baby, what happened?” He asked, rushing over.

You didn't answer. He asked again, this time in a more calmer tone. But still, no response. He rushed out of the kitchen down the hallway.

And in the blink of an eye Shawn returned with the first-aid kit. He silently took care of the cut, but you could see in his eyes he was struggling with not pushing for answers. The only thing he knew was his girlfriend of two years was on the floor nursing a medium-sized cut on her finger, all while looking like she was about to break down at any second. You couldn't imagine how many thoughts he had running through his mind.

As Shawn left to put away the kit, you slowly brought yourself to your knees, recollecting what little composure you could after a miserable day. However, when your eyes glanced toward the right kitchen cabinet it blew up the last piece of composure left to collect.

"Honey, what are you doing?" Shawn asked, his voice sounding like an echo from miles away, even though he was standing right beside you. "I'm cleaning. I accidentally got blood on your cabinets.”

Shawn knelt down, "I can do it".

He tried taking away the wet towel dipped in cleaning product from your hands, but you clutched it tighter, scrubbing even harder against the door until your knuckles turned white.

"It's okay. I'll clean it later. Let's just go sit down on the couch, yeah.” He softly said, offering his hand to help you up.

The lump in your throat had doubled in size; feeling now more like a basketball, by the time you made it to the couch. Shawn sat opposite on the coffee table looking more worried than ever as you avoided his gaze and placed your head in your hands.

"Hey, look at me. Tell me what happened".

Shaking your head, Shawn reached for your hand and you could feel your lip tremble once contact was made. Looking up as your eyes met his own, your eyes glistened with tears. It was at that moment when you finally broke. You couldn’t hold back your tears anymore.

"It's just been a really shitty day. I lost all my work, hours of research gone. The heel on my favourite black heels broke as I was getting out of the car. I had the worst cup of coffee in my life. And before I broke a glass and cut my finger I got a notification reminding me it's our anniversary today which I completely forgot about, and I didn't even get you anything and now I feel like the worst girlfriend ever.”

Shawn pulled you into a hug, holding you close as you cried.

"You're far from a terrible girlfriend, and if it makes you feel any better I forgot a gift too.”

You looked up at him, completely falling in love with him all over again as he tried to make you feel better.

"Listen, we've still got a few hours left to turn this day around. So how about you go and take a nice, long hot bath. Then after changing into something more comfortable meet me back in the living room.”

You nodded, slowly making your way to the bathroom for a bath that helped soothe aching muscles and hopefully silencing a few more tears.

**

Venturing back into the living room, Shawn had moved the coffee table to the side, creating more space for a mountain of blankets and pillows which all pointed towards the TV.

"I see I won't be getting that back anytime soon.” Shawn smiled, taking in how his YOUTH hoodie shallowed you in the cutest way.

"It's my favorite, plus you did say to change into something more comfortable.”

"That I did.” He kissed your forehead, whispering.

"It looks better on you, anyway.” His voice along with the combination of bare skin and cool air sent a sonic wave of shivers throughout your body, which you choose to ignore, for now at least.

"What's all this?" You said, pointing to the scene in front.

He grinned, gently clapping his hands and leading you to the blanket and pillow sanctuary.

"I thought we could just relax and turn a bad day into something good. We can put your favorite movie on. And I ordered some takeout with a side of your favourite dessert, which should be here any minute".

"Shawn, you didn't-".

"Yes, I did. I know you've been stretching yourself thin lately, and I can tell you still feel guilty about forgetting our anniversary. But the only thing I need is you,” He moved a piece of hair from your eyes.

"Nothing else matters.”

"So you're not mad at me?” He smiled, thumb caressing your cheek.

"I have nothing to be mad about, so I want you to stop worrying. Because tonight is all about relaxing, junk food and lots of cuddles from your very handsome boyfriend".

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him closer. The kiss, like always, sparked a rainbow of fireworks. And there was nothing better than the way Shawn tasted or leaving each other breathless. Leaning your head against his chest, you exhaled, taking in the peace of having him hold you close.

-

The end

(A/N: I hope you enjoy this. feedback is highly appreciated! and btw i know its not much but i think its cute lol and i am currently working on something else at the moment, but i needed to get this out of the way first!)