#I still cant get over the lightning in the movie like goddamn

[doctor-who-war-doctor]

The Backbone of Rosas fr

[heroesmusings]

FULL NAME: Thor Odinson

MEANING: Thunder

NICKNAME: Pointbreak

MEANING: It’s what Tony calls him

AGE APPEARANCE: Appears 36, actually over 1000

BIRTHDAY: Unknown

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Unknown

SPECIES: Asgardian God

GENDER: Cis male

ALLERGIES: None

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Pansexual 

THEME SONG(S): Thunder by Imagine Dragons, Sunlight by Hozier, Lover of the Light by Mumford and Sons, Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR:  Dark Blonde

HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: At times it can be long to shoulder length but also can be buzzed on the side with a little more on top 

EYES COLOR: Blue

EYESIGHT: 20/20 he’s a gOD

HEIGHT: 6″6′

WEIGHT: 235 lbs

OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Usually he wears his Asgardian get up but when he dresses down he wears jeans and a hoodie

ABNORMALITIES: Missing an eye

DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): Many battle scars cover his body

SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Sometimes sports a beard

FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: He looks big and intimidating but he’s actually super friendly once spoken to  

SKIN COLOR: White to tan

BODY TYPE/BUILD: He’s built like a goddamn GOD, there is no way to explain it.. He’s big and made of pure muscle 

DEFAULT EXPRESSION: He tends to look serious just because he was raised a prince 

POSTURE: Thor has perfect posture he was PRINCE OKAY 

PIERCINGS: None 

DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: Thor’s voice is deep, with a bit of a forgien accent and when angry his voice carries like thunder 

RELATIONS:

MOM: Frigga

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Thor was so close to his mother, he adored her with all his heart and misses her every day

DAD: Odin

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Thor has mixed feelings when it comes to his father. He used to think of him as a good man but as things came to light and realized some things Thor has slowly come to realize that Odin was never a good father 

SIBLINGS: Hela, Loki

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Thor loves his brother, sees the good in him but Loki doesn’t like him and neither did Hela…. So not well. 

CHILDREN: N/A

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A

OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: N/A

PAST LOVER(S): Many one night stands, Jane Foster (ex-girlfriend)

CURRENT LOVER: Bruce Banner

REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: He likes making friends he’s really a sweet guy

ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: Thor is very easy to work with and loves to work with people 

HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): Thor is vERY sociable he loves going out and being around people 

FRIENDS: Hemidall, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Carol Danvers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton and literally anyone else

PETS: None

LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Anyone who thinks they can take advantage of meeker people 

PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): Playful and Protective 

FAVORITE PEOPLE: Bruce, Steve, Bucky and Hemidall 

LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: The Dark Elves, Thaons, 

PERSONALITY:

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: He looks regal from a distance but he’s very warm and friendly 

..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Teasing, Excitable, Gentle

..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Gruff, Cold, Confrontational 

FAVORITE COLOR: Silver 

FAVORITE FOOD: a stew his mother would make

FAVORITE ANIMAL: ALL ANIMALS, but he’s partial to snakes

FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: ALL OF THEM?

FAVORITE ELEMENT: Fire

LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: White

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Weird midgard foods

LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: NONE HE LOVES THEM ALL 

LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: None?

LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Water

HOBBIES: training, video games, learning anything he can about earth

USUAL MOOD: Usually in a good mood

DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Drinks socially

DARK VERSION OF SELF: Thor would be the perfect weapon, powerful and unforgiving, the realms would tremble at his feet

LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: close to what he is now, happy and unworried 

HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: IF the situation is a tense one he’s very serious but other than that he’s rather joyful

BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Yes and no?? He can connect to the allfather but that’s it

(IN)DEPENDANT: Thor thinks himself rather independent but he’s not. He’s very connected to everyone he loves

SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: Talking about any of his family, when people try to threaten the avengers, people hating Hulk

OPINION ON SWEARING: He’s rather clean spoken just because he's a prince

DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: oooh daredevil

MUSIC TYPE: he leans towards what Steve tends to play, he also loves classical music and typical asgardian music 

MOVIE TYPE: Anything ANYTHING 

BOOK TYPE: Again Thor loves to learn so anything 

GAME TYPE: If it’s Asgardian games, it’s anything that has to do with brute strength or drinking -- human ones he doesn’t really care about

COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: Thor likes it a little on the cooler side

SLEEPING PATTERN: When Thor is out HE’S FUCKING OUT, he’s a rock its impossible to move him. 

CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Thor is used to being cleaned up after but he is polite so he keeps it as clean as he can

DESIRED PET: ALL PETS EVER

HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Helping rebuild Asgard

BIGGEST SECRET: I don’t know if Thor really has any secrets? He’s an open book anyone can ask him anything

HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: His mother, Frigga

WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: the biggest puppy dog on eaRTH

FEARS: Bruce getting hurt, anything happening to the avengers, and losing Asgard again

COMFORTS: Being around the avengers, spending alone time with Bruce and training

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE:

SAD: Thor is a prince, he has always been told to hide negative emotions, so Thor bottles it up, he puts on a brave face because he is a warrior and royal. So for a long time no one knows he’s sad until he starts pulling away and secluding himself 

HAPPY: Thor is like a ray of sunshine, he talks fast, and tends to just want to touch and laugh

ANGRY: ……………………...AN ANGRY GOD IS NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT. It’s pure rage, the sky turns black -- a storm swirls above him and he’s lit up with lightning. He’s brutal and will not show mercy 

AFRAID: Thor doesn’t really fear? He’s never been allowed to fear. He’s a god and he knows his powers but when he is he tries to face it head on, take it by the horns and conquer it. 

LOVE SOMEONE: Gentle, and understanding -- he cares deeply about them and checks up on them often. He’s always around and is expressing his admiration for them 

HATE SOMEONE: He’s cold, which is a VERY rare thing for thor. He doesn’t hate many but its an angry hate, so if he hates you, then you’ve done something so wrong

WANT SOMETHING: He asks permission.. That is what he was taught to do, so he’s polite as he requests whatever it is.

CONFUSED: He wants it explained to him he loves learning okay 

HOW DO THEY REACT TO:

DANGER: THOR LOVES DANGER, but he’s protective if it involves people he loves

SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: I’m sorry if but Thor hate you you are dead no way around it so YOU CANT HAVE A CRUSH 

PROPOSAL TO MARRY: Thor would be ????? so confused. He would have not expected such a thing but he’d of course say yes and would want a human and an asgardian wedding 

DEATH OF LOVED ONE: He interlizes it, he hasn’t ever had a proper way to express his mourning.. He’s still recovering from the death of his family. 

DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: He’d try the best he can, and usually he figures it out

INJURY: ...he’s a god so he’d just take it as a badge of honor

SOMETHING IRRESISTABLY CUTE: He would want to squish thank you

LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: Thor doesn’t LOSE hours of work okay he’s always wanted on missions 

KNOWLEDGE:

LANGUAGES: Thor has allspeak so literally everything

SCHOOLING LEVEL: Graduated from formal Asgardian education and warrior school 

FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Ya know… fighting 

INTERESTED CAREERS: Valkyrie until he realized it was for women only 

EXPERTISE: asgardian physiology, weather manipulation, flight, electric manipulation, combat

PUZZLES: Thor would rather hand them off to someone else so he can do other things

CHEMISTRY: for human, not so great at that because he’s not from earth but asgardian chemistry he excelled in it

MATH: Again, human math? Not so great but Asgard? Expert 

ENGLISH: HE didn’t HAVE ENGLISH 

GEOGRAPHY: he knows how to get to realm to realm 

POLITICS/LAW: Given he’s a prince he had to be very involved in all of it

ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: Again a prince so its his job

COOKING: Nope not at all, he’s always had things cooked for him

SEWING: Medical sewing he’s okay at

MECHANICS: This is just way over Thor’s head all of it

BOTANY (FLOWERS): Not really interested in all of that 

MYTHOLOGY: HE IS THE MYTH

DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): Not for him, for Loki maybe

READING LEVEL: Proficient in all languages 

HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: somewhat? He did have to do battle strategies 

ROMANCE:

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: Yes ALL THE TIME, he’s so touch

HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): He’s fairly forward honestly 

GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: A GENTLEMAN HE’S PRINCE

GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: With people before Bruce? He usually just jumped right in but he likes taking it slow with Bruce 

PROTECTIVE: uh hell yeah

ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Both 

WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: Thor likes bringing Bruce all sorts of things from Asgard honestly, anything that he thinks Bruce will like he brings

TYPE OF KISSER: Surprisingly, Thor is a very soft and gentle lover. So his kisses are the same, gentle but VERY through

DO THEY WANT KIDS: i don’t…. Know. i actually don’t think it’s crossed his mind?

DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: YES YES 

MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: Uh both, but he likes to think he’s got good intentions 

ARE THEY ROMANTIC: yes OF COURSE

HOW ARE THEY IN BED: Thor’s a god.. And he’s very well versed so sleeping with Thor is truly otherworldly

GET JEALOUS EASY: Actually no, not really

WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: NEVER

MARRY FOR MONEY: LMAO NO NOT AT ALL

FAVORITE POSITION: oh my god.. he for sure likes to top.. Really any position he just likes intimacy 

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: DATE ON ASGARD, he wants to treat Bruce to a perfect evening on asgard filled with food and magic and science and watch the sunset over the water

OPINION ON SEX: Sex is almost a ritual to him? It’s a very important and meaningful thing..  He never takes having sex lightly. Its meant to be a celebration of intimacy.

[dork-empress]

Blind Review: Bee Movie

I’m not staining my review blog with this. But I will put this under a cut cause its long. Summary:

*Force of nature, in this case. 

Starting out with killing the dreamworks guy. Great start. 

Fucking memes I’m so mad I know this beginning 

I mean, funny joke, but that’s still yellow an black. 

What.

 His antenna is a phone and his stinger can be sharpened? 

 WHY WOULD HE PAY MONEY FOR STAIRS IN A BEEHIVE 

 Also, Why do bees live this way with houses and everything. Shits weird

 I need to stop criticizing EVERYTHING or I’ll never make it through this thing. 

CARS?? THEY DRIVE CARS??? 

 *flashbacks to pomp and circumstance* 

 are there bees who only speak—you know what, I promised myself, I’m just gonna try and swallow this as much as I can. 

 I feel like I should be drinking. 

 “color corrected” its all the same color. 

 That bee dead

 Ah, capitalism I’m not really sure what the message I should be getting from this movie is, but I’m not getting it. 

 Yeah, really not getting it. 

 Literally their job title is ‘Jocks’? Real subtle guys.

 I hate this.

 I hate everything.

 I’m dying scoob. 

 Oh the stereotypes here 

 Also this is just…the most the most stereotypical plotline

 I hate this so much. 

 I feel like even as a prank, they wouldn’t just let them bring newbies.

 You’re not wearing shorts, Barry. 

 How do you know whtat a Kite is if this is your first time outta the hive?

 This is…such a terrible movie. 

 Why would they fly so low to the water. 

 Oh my goooood 

 This is torture. 

 That bee is DEAAAD 

 This movie sure likes to tell us exactly whats goin on, huh?

 That bee DEAAAAAAAAAAD 

 That bee is SOOO DEEEAAAD 

 Why’d she have to rip it? 

 STOOOOP Why would you romance a bee and a woman. A human woman. Why. 

 How many people have saved Bees? And this is supposed to be the first one? 

Couldn’t she have just pinched herself? 

 Coffee will KILL him. 

 This is the worst thing. 

 This is….the worst…thing… 

 The sweater has pockets??? What the hell. 

 That man dead. 

 Goddamn we’re only a half hour into this thing. 

 Also why do these bees have 4 limbs. 

 Barry’s a…reverse furry.

 I hate ALL of this. 

 WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. 

 “All life has value” 2 seconds later, kills a mosquito. 

 How…would a bee and a –nope. Not letting my brain go there. 

 THE FUCK I am so. Mad at. All of this. I can’t. I’m dead inside. 

 Oh god I forgot about this. 

 Beekeepers save bees. Taking honey from bees is goof for them. 

Why…would he go 

 Why would he sense the bee.

 All of this is ridiculous. Bees that are kept make too much honey.

 I don’t know if I can make it through all of this. I’m confused.

 Earlier killing mosquito’s was funny. Now its just as bad.

 I…I need a break. 

 What the fuck this isn’t how beekeepers work at all! 

 This is why bees are dying you bastards!! This isn’t how beekeeping works! 

 A DRAG QUEEN JOKE ARE YOU KIDDING

 I’m. I can’t. How would a bee make out with— 

 THAT IS AN INAPPROPRIATE JOKE RANDOM BEE THAT WE DON’T KNOW AND IS JUST HERE 

And this joke is way overrun.

 Literally just…Bee Larry King. Not even a pun. I just. 

 WOOOWWW THIS SHOW LOVES TO JUST EXPLAIN ITS OWN JOKES DOESN’T IT 

 I’m pretty sure like…this makes no sense. 

 Wait, first you’re angry that they take your hungry, then the sugar is “competition” 

I’m 80% sure this isn’t how the legal system works but whatever. 

 How are scientists not all over this goddamn “bee’s talk” thing and I just. 

Caring hurts, guys. 

 I’m very confused as to whether or not the death of bugs is supposed to be horrifying or funny. 

 Yeah, 0 way 5 companies all use ONE lawyer. They each have 5 minimum that are in that room. 

 What is that voice John Goodman is doing. Was that his choice, or was this direction? He seems to be using an accent every other sentence. 

 A bee on steroids would kill them. But apparently these bees are immortal, so. 

Oh, this is an underdog story? 

I am very worried about the fact this movie doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be. 

 BARRY BROUGHT A BEAR INTO THE COURTROOM?? HOW? WHY???WHAT????? 

 Mr. Sting. The fuck. They dragged Sting into this. 

 DEAR FUCK THEY’RE NOT EVEN TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY ARE THEY? LIKE. WHAT. 

 In fairness, I was thinking that too, Liotta.

 Dear fuck. I’m sure Barry would definitely be able to cut into those leftovers. 

Ken sits in a pink plastic chair? 

They’re…not even trying are they. Please tell me they’re not. 

 Murder scene 

 Dear fuck, theat house better be on fire in two seconds. 

 Why does the shower have a ‘lethal’ level. 

 I hate this so much. He’s so dead. I just. What. HE’S THE FIRST BEE I KNOW. 

I’m beginning to sympathize with Ken a lot.

 Is this supposed to be villianizing humans eating honey or supporting it? I’m so confused…

 Any jury member who’s that obviously supportive of one side would definitely be asked to leave. 

 I AM SO CONFUSED ABOUT ALL THIS. 

 Oh my god is Adam gonna die. 

 WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUUUUUCK IS HAPPENING??? YOU CANT USE A BOTTLE OF HONEY AS AN IV THAT BEE IS DEAD I DON’T I WHAT THE FUCK. LIKE THIS WAS ESTABLISHED EARLIER IN THE MOVIE EVEN. WHHHHAAAAAATTTTHATS…THAT’S NOT HOW THAT WORKS. I CANT 

 IS THIS A METAPHOR FOR SEX I am uncomfortable. 

 More smoke. 

 Get up? Get dressed? HE’S DYING!!!!! 

 You know why bees die when they sting? BECAUSE THEY LOSE THEIR INTERNAL ORGANS. 

 What the fuck… Fucking hell still 30 minutes left of this torture. 

 That’s. Not. How. That. Works. 

 What fucking racial joke is this. 

 What? No? That’s not what that means? What the fuck???? 

WINNIE THE—WHAT? WHAAAT? THIS MOVIE IS I can’t. I. What. I can’t. 

 Once again, I don’t know what this movie WANTS me to get from this. But I’m not getting it. So…what? 

 This all happened that fast? 

 NO FUCKING KIDDING VANESSA? 

Way to have a suicide joke in the movie. 

 Yeah, she said she was leaving, dude. 

 IS this movie about to go into a dystopia.

 Okay, they just explained this plan, and I still don’t understand. 

 DID THEY JUST KILL A HUMAN??

 I just. What. What the hell is happening. 

 NO GOD DAMN BEING A BEE IS NOT QUALI— 

 I hope the kids enjoyed the John Travolta joke.

 WHAT THE. LIGHTNING DOESN’T DO THAT. 

 Are the bees…gonna… 

 You know, if right now, all the bees were suddenly sucked into the engine, I would be so happy. 

 What. What the fuck. 

 THAT’S NOT HOW PLANES WORK. 

AND ALLTHE BEES WERE CRUSHED. 

 Aw. Oh well. 

 How do all those bees hear him. I’m so mad at everything. But. 

Getting nectar wasn’t the way this worked. It helps with the BREEDING process for flowers. Those flowers are all cut and dying. And THOSE flowers are DEAD, no matter how much POLLEN you put on it. 

 There is no way that kid isn’t allergic to pollen. He should also be dead. 

 Alright, the joke about mosquitos and lawyers was funny. 

 Well, that was a thing.