#I somehow completely forgot about the fact I literally only reliably know 18th century russian history
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I just realised that I know absolutely nothing of the material that could appear on the history exam and it will be physically impossible to memorise a thousand years of history in less than three months
#haha i'm in danger#no but seriously#I somehow completely forgot about the fact I literally only reliably know 18th century russian history#and nothing else#even though I had extra lessons all year specifically going over kievan rus#I don't remember any of it apart from like. the 862 and 988 dates#and it's not only raw history facts on exams. you have to know paintings and books and buildings and historical documents#and remember who made them and when#the exam is on may 30th I'll never be able to make up for it#I spent so long trying to keep myself together mentally that I completely forgot about my exams#and I know myself. I'm not gonna sit there and spend my days cramming all that info in my brain#I'll just stress about it and won't do anything to rectify it#there's an extremely high chance I'll fail this goddamned exam and then my life will be over#my dad will literally kill me#I'll have a few retries but it won't make any difference#fuck. and I was so happy these last few days bc I finally figured so many things out about myself#should have known it wasn't bound to last
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