#I should've said this in german rip

[siryyeet]

"the definition of bread is a linguistic difference. What non-german speaking parts of the world see as bread is simply because of language. Just because german is so strict with the definition and I go crazy seeing various non-bread baked goods (by german definition) get called bread, doesn't that mean it isn't bread by other languages definition." <- me talking to myself whenever I see a 'bread' poll

[justin-hammers]

October/Early November Story 2 Prompt: Shower Time with some Praise Kink

Warning: A lot Degradation and Self-hatred with a slur. It's based on how I feel about myself. It's depressing, but there's a happy ending. Also some attempts of German language.

Words: 1,132

Ship: Erik Heller/Second Person POV F!Reader

The story is also down below 👇🏽

I closed the bathroom door behind me, and began to undress.

I was enjoying a lazy Sunday morning solo although I found it hard to enjoy anything this morning as something was bugging me.

Erik was still out of the country for yet another mission. I personally wish he didn’t go, but I knew it was for the best. It's what he likes to do I guess.

Trying to do a long distance relationship is rough, and he hardly calls or messages, especially at night before bed.

I'm worried about whether our relationship will still be what it used to be when he gets back.

I've been sleeping during much of the day and I hadn’t done anything even remotely fun other than masturbating. Plus, I got in a really stupid shouting fight yesterday on the phone. I realized that he was probably just tired and cranky since he was still on his mission.

We hadn’t had sex for a while too. While he was away, I thought the first thing we’d do when he returned was rip our clothes off and do it until we passed out, but those chances are just as low as the relationship itself.

I checked to see if the water was warm enough, and I stepped into the shower.

Does he not find me attractive anymore? Am I too ugly for him?

When we first met, he used to call me "ein schön frau." I was very flattered with his comment, and we just hit it off with our relationship. I have to admit that it was pretty fast, but he loved me regardless, but my self-esteem was lower than the deep end of the sea.

I always see myself ugly and unattractive as sin. People say my body looks so small, but I always think I look fat like my stomach needs toning and my thighs are so wide. My face looks man-ish and shitty looking, and I always have unnecessary body hair in other areas of the body. I still have scars on my wrist from the constant self-harming I have done when I have really bad days. I look so stubby and short that I could be mistaken as a middle schooler. Been exercising, cleaning myself up like always, and doing my best at trying to eat healthy and do less stressful stuff, but I feel like it's not enough to make me feel better, look good and attractive.

'Maybe he only likes girls who are fine with how they look regardless? Fucking doubt it. He ain't gonna want a Monkey Hyena hybrid looking girlfriend with stupid scars on her wrist and in need to be put down,' I thought to myself as I let the warm water wash over me.

I soaped up my top half of my body as I looked at my puny breasts. Maybe I really do look like a child.

Erik probably fell for some super smart sexy foreign model cunt or some hot prostitute with nice curves. Hell, maybe he likes hot fat chicks with a pin-up look. Maybe they all talk really fucking sexy too. I just don't fucking know! How can I compete against such good looking women?! I'm just a hideous midget from Texas!

I always felt like Erik was out of my league. A cute down to earth guy from Germany who was also an Operative? I failed to understand why he was ever interested in me.

"Maybe I was right. I should've killed myself," I admitted to myself as I started to burst into tears.

I kept on crying as I failed to hear the bathroom door open. The shower curtain slid open, but I didn't turn around. I suddenly felt some tapping on my shoulder.

“Is there room for two?”

I turned around to see who it was.

It was Erik, standing in the nude.

He still had that beautiful big grin on his face. I didn't know what to say as I was so surprised by the spontaneity of the moment.

“Oh-uh, y-yeah okay,” I finally responded, backing closer to the end of the shower.

The shower in their apartment was pretty old and small, but at least it's pretty roomy for the both of us.

“Excuse me,” he said as he went in.

My head was pressed between his abdomen and chest.

“I thought you were still on your mission,” I asked.

“Not all my missions were going to be long and complicated. The only thing I don’t want to leave is you,” Erik answered as he leaned over and began kissing my neck.

It was corny as shit, but his response made me smile. My cheeks turned rosy red and another “shower” had begun in between my legs.

“Oh Erik, I was so worried. I was beginning to think that you weren’t attracted to me anymore, and that you were meeting other girls that are probably so much cooler than me and I…”

He suddenly interrupted me by locking their lips together in a passionate kiss.

They continued to makeout in the shower as Erik's hand traveled the surface of my puny wet body. Eventually, he massages my small breasts as he breaks away from the kiss for a moment.

"You know you are such a schön frau. Your body is like a wonderland for me to explore. Your smallness makes me wanna eat you, and carry you everywhere. Your eyebrows are very natural like nature itself. Your Beige skin reminds me of my favorite season being Fall. My god, baby, you are phänomenal!"

I was blushing really hard now as I was slightly confused by his statement. I broke away from the kissing to respond.

“Ugh, I just feel so yucky everywhere," I confessed as I desperately wondered what Erik would say.

“Oh liebling,” he answered as he leaned in for another quick peck. “You’re never ugly. Not at all you are. You're as beautiful as the landscape of my country. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise, meine geliebte. Don't ever push yourself to be perfect for me."

He then cups my face as his thumbs wipes my tears away.

"I'll always love you, liebling. Always."

He then leaned in for more shower kissing.

I was feeling so much relief and joy to know that my boyfriend liked me for who I am.

He put his arms around me, and pressed his muscle tits and abdomen into me. I shivered at the pleasurable feeling of my boyfriend’s slick body. I felt Erik’s member rise and poke my vagina. He began to giggle as I did too. We looked right into each other’s eyes with wide grins on our faces.

That Sunday we finally had sex for the first (and for the second) time since he was gone.

[helen-high-water]

Bloodborne bosses and how angry they are:

(before starting please note that I'm basing this solely on the limited amount of information I have on each boss, Bloodborne lore is confusing and I have forgotten a lot of it,also these are in the order of the wiki page,also I am aware some of these bosses may not even be able to feel human emotions but that's not gonna stop me)

The cleric beast:

MA'AM UH SIR OR MX WHATEVER YOU ARE PLEASE CALM DOWN AND STOP SCREAMING (VERY ANGRY, lovely screams tho)

Father Gascoigne:

He's angry but he's allowed to be angry cuz he's a dilf (very angry, thought I wasn't attracted to him then I heard the beastly howls)

Viscar Amelia:

I'll be honest I liked you more when you weren't a monster the size of a movable house with a shit ton of bandages? ribbons? whatever it is it's very hauntingly beautiful though (angry,she has a normal amount of angry but not a normal amount of beast unfortunately)

Blood starved beast:

it's just hungry,I think if we give it enough blood it'll just become a puppy, unfortunately it's hungry and the only blood around is yours(Hangry,Less meat flaps please)

The witch(es) of hemwick:

I do not enjoy the clusterfuck of eyes you coat yourselves in, I think they may be slightly angry but they mostly just want eyes(Slightly angry, Please wear normal clothes grandmas)

Dark beast Paarl:

it's a puppy! Skeleton puppy! skeleton puppy with lightning magic!angry skeleton puppy with lightning magic! (Angry,love it's zap zaps,would make a wonderful pet if it wasn't murderous and electrifying,oh also being the size of a small building doesn't really help)

Shadow of Yharnam:

They might be a bit busy being snakes to be angry,also probably a fight that might cause me to go insane if I were to do it(angry snakes?maybe?)

Rom the vacuous spider:

she's not angry, she's just disappointed (HA mom joke) , She's too nice to be angry at you but throwing meteors and sicking her children on you is fair game(not angry,Love and hate your name)

The one reborn:

put it back in the moon please,the definition of creepy and wet, whatever birthed this monstrosity should've considered an abortion,has 4(I think?) Adoptive witch mothers and none of them make it less bad(it's a fucking moon baby it doesn't know what anger is)

Martyr Logarius:

Santa is not doing well,and he's going to make sure you know that by kicking your ass into next Friday (angry, please stop floating it looks weird)

Amygdala:

what kinda fucked up giant enemy spider are you,why did you rip out your arms , couldn't you just hit me with them without ripping them out?why are you named after a brain part?(angry,stomps a lot)

Celestial emissary:

what even are you supposed to be,you 're kind of blueish so that makes you less angry,but also you look like there is a huge egg where your brain should be,I don't like you (not angry, please stop existing)

Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos:

she's just lonely,she doesn't even attack you without you attacking her first, poor child (not angry,She looks like she has a giant clam for a head)

Micolash host of the nightmare:

who's crazy twink is this,he's way too crazy to feel anything other than utter chaos(not angry,needs a shower)

Mergo's wet nurse:

now I wouldn't say she's angry on account of the fact that she doesn't even have a body,or at least one we can see,she looks very calm but she's still gonna slice you like a lawn mower specifically made for hunters(not angry,very spooky,love the theme)

Gehrman the first hunter:

legit the first time I read your name I just said "is he German" ,grampa off the chair what will he do,he's not angry he just wants you to leave the dream (for some reason?) (Not angry,cool scythe)

Moon presence:

depending on which ending she can be very angry or not angry at all ,if you leave the hunter's dream she probably doesn't even aknowledge your existence after that,if you beat Grandpa G and you don't have enough umbilical cords in you she's not angry too,but if you want to turn into a slug you have to make the moon angry,very flowery, please don't bite my stomach that hurts (not angry/angry)

Ludwig the accursed holy blade:

is your name an oxymoron (I don't think I'm even using that correctly) starts out very angry but then calms down a little, unfortunately for you that means he's stronger (very angry then not angry, Horse man very cool,very cool sword)

Laurence ,the first viscar:

It's literally just the cleric beast but on fire , still very angry though(very angry, someone get a fire extinguisher,or don't idk)

Living failures:

if I see one of you fuckers make a "ha same" joke I'll send you to the shadow realm, they're not really angry,but they sure as hell want to ruin your day, pretty star magic though (not angry,what happened to your heads why are you deflated)

Lady Maria of the astral clock tower:

Probably my favorite boss,but she's not angry, she's way too tired to be angry,her anger has burned and burned and burned and left her empty,she needs some rest, although similarly to Ludwig,her being not angry just makes it worse for you (not angry,Badass lady with swords , wonderful, please don't stab yourself)

Orphan of kos:

ah yes Kos,or as some say kosm gr- *gets hit with a placenta*,You really should've listened to Lady Maria when she said "a corpse should be left well alone" because this baby knows only three things

1) Something killed it's mother

2)you are something

3)unending violence

The angriest thing in the game,how is your placenta so solid,not even therapy can make it not angry (VERY ANGRY, Stop screaming you butterfly looking MOTHERFUCKER,Very fair reason for being angry I would say tho)

And that's it,if you disagree with any of these please consider the following:

Suck my ass/j