#I should really try to sit down and hash out parts 2 and 3 of my press essays

[littlepeakydevil]

Part 14: Everything

Summary: Lily doubts her place in Tommy and Grace’s life in light of some new developments.

Warnings: Miscommunication, pregnancy, polyamory, infertility, and infidelity.

Notes: Takes place between seasons 2 and 3.

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The entire walk back to her apartment, Tommy kept shooting her worried, nervous glances. Like he finally caught onto her subdued, melancholic mood that had set in ever since their discussion in the car.

“Lily…” he started to say, raising his hand as if to touch her, then dropping it. When she made no indication of having heard him, he sighed. “Can we please talk about this?”

She didn’t understand why he was being so insistent about discussing it more. It was done, after all. There wasn’t much more they could accomplish by hashing it all out. Other than causing themselves more pain. 

“I really think that you should talk to Grace first,” was all she told him. Reaching into her pocket, she sighed. “I gave my key to her.”

From his pocket he pulled out a ring of brass keys, handing them to her. They clinked as she fumbled with them, finding the correct one and sliding it into the keyhole. Before she could turn it, Tommy’s hand rested on her shoulder, turning her to look at him.

“I didn’t…mean for this.” His eyes were searching hers like he was looking for something.

“I know.” She looked down before she could get lost in the blue of his eyes. Or before she started to cry. The lock clicked when she turned the key, and then they were stepping into the apartment.

The lights were all on, Grace sitting at the table in the small kitchen, smoking and staring out the window. She had removed her hat and her coat, leaving her in just the flowy pink dress she’d worn to the races. Her head snapped around at the sound of the door opening, putting her cigarette down in the ashtray at the center of the table and standing.

Lily watched Tommy go to embrace her, his head dropping to rest against her neck. Grace put both of her arms around him, eyes fluttering shut in clear relief. Closing the door behind them, Lily busied herself pulling off her hat and coat and hanging them up.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t meet you,” Tommy was saying to Grace.

“What happened?” she asked, pulling away to look at him. 

“I got…kidnapped,” he sighed. “It’s a long story.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” He waved away her concerns, shrugging his coat off. 

“Lily,” Grace said, voice cautious. She took a step towards her, soft blue eyes darting between her and Tommy. “Did you tell her…?”

“Yes, he did,” Lily cringed internally at how quiet her voice sounded. Forcing herself to smile, she hugged Grace. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll go make some tea, yeah?” Pulling back, she didn’t really look at either of them, instead sidestepping to go into the kitchen. She swore that she could feel both Grace and Tommy’s eyes burning into her back. “You two have a lot to talk about.”

Behind her, she could vaguely hear the sound of Tommy and Grace starting to talk after they wandered into the sitting room. Lily flexed her fingers, trying to stop the light trembling in her hands, or the lump building in her throat.

This was so much more horrible than she could have imagined it to be. 

Feelings of exclusion were never something that she responded particularly well to. Even as a child, whenever she felt that the other children were leaving her out, she would sit alone by herself and weep.

Sniffing once, she forced herself to focus on pouring hot water into two tea cups. If she thought about it all too much, she would start to cry.

Wiping at her face, she carried the tea cups to the sitting room and set them down on the table in front of Tommy and Grace. They were both still looking at her with anxious eyes. Neither of them were heartless; she expected that they both knew she was hurting. That they felt bad about it. Not that they should. It wasn’t like either of them owed her anything. 

“I think that I have some things in the cupboard, if either of you are hungry…”

“Lily, come sit down,” Tommy urged. He looked genuinely worried. Almost confused from where he was watching her from the couch. Gulping, she bit her lip, dread over what they might want to tell her building in her gut.

“I don’t–” she was cut off by the phone in the kitchen ringing, all their heads snapping around to look at where it sat in its cradle on a table. 

Wringing her hands together, Lily went to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Lily!” Arthur’s voice slurred from the other end. “I’m at the Garrison. We had a little party to celebrate,” he hiccupped. “The count in the register is short.”

She sighed, tilting her head up in exasperation. “Did you double check?”

“Yes, I bloody double checked! It’s short! I swear, when I find whoever it was…”

“Arthur, no. Just…wait there. I’ll be right over.” She hung up the phone with an annoyed huff. 

“What’s happened?” Tommy asked.

“Arthur can’t fucking count.” She went to grab her coat from the hook by the door. “He thinks that the cash in the register at the Garrison is short. He sounded drunk.”

“I’ll come with you–” he started to rise from his seat, but Lily shook her head hastily.

“No need. Besides, you and Grace need to talk. I won’t be long.” She grabbed her key from where Grace had left it sitting on the kitchen table. 

“Lily–” Grace started.

“I’ll be back soon,” she reiterated, swinging out the door and closing it behind her before either of them could say anymore. Almost instantly, she felt a wave of guilt over the way she'd brushed them off. But it was finally a chance at the moment of solitude she had been searching for ever since Tommy told her of Grace’s pregnancy. A chance to privately mourn and wallow in the agony of her heartbreak. 

It all happened so fast. One minute, it was business as usual, her relationship with Tommy as stable as it had always been. And in the next, her two lovers were having a baby and starting to plan the next stages of their lives together. Without her. 

Stuffing her hands into her pockets, she began the short walk towards the Garrison. She’d send Arthur home, work out what was going on with the register, have a good cry, and come back home. Maybe she would be lucky and they would have already gone to bed by the time she got back.

She didn’t know what she was going to do. She doubted Tommy would sack her. But she also wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle watching the two people she loved the most go off together while she was discarded. It would hurt too much. 

Arthur was fumbling with the register when she came in, jumping at the sound of the door.

“Let me see,” she said, not even bothering with a proper greeting. He stepped out of the way to let her look over the stacks of bills spread out on the bar. Gathering them up, she started to count. “You go ahead and go home.”

“No, no. I can stay. Help clean up.” 

Lily sighed, wishing that he would just leave her alone, but didn’t say anything more.

“What’s got you so glum?” Arthur asked.

“It’s just been a long day, Arthur.” She set the last of the bills down and huffed. “The register is fine.”

“No, no, no, no. I was sure that it…”

“Arthur, it’s fine. It’s not short.” She put the money away and grabbed a broom to sweep up the broken glass. Mumbling drunkenly to himself, Arthur tried to help, scooping up three dirtied glasses from the tables, then promptly tripping on his way over to the bar. He didn’t fall, but he did drop all three glasses to shatter on the floor.

“Arthur!” She clenched her jaw, trying to reign in her temper. Getting snappish with him wasn’t going to do much good except risk making him angry. “Arthur, just go home,” she said, lowering her voice. 

“Right. Yeah. Would probably go faster without me,” he muttered, dejected. Great. Now she felt bad. 

“I just need to be alone right now, okay?”

He frowned. “Why? You and Tom have a fight?”

She shook her head. “It’s just been a long day,” she repeated.

Arthur seemed to finally realize just how badly she wanted to be left by herself, nodding and grabbing up his coat. Still swaying on his feet, he hovered near her, looking like he was trying to figure out how to comfort her. Finally, he just patted her twice awkwardly on the head and went to the door. She locked it behind him, picking back up the broom and starting to sweep.

Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest. A small sob burst from her mouth. And then another. And another. Until she was practically clinging to the broom in an attempt to keep herself upright while she cried, vision blurry from her tears.

It was just so utterly, unbelievably unfair. And she couldn’t even really be mad about it. It wasn’t like Tommy had cheated on her. And he certainly didn’t intend to get Grace pregnant. But it had happened, and now she was going to lose both of them. At least before, when they had thought they’d lost Grace forever to Clive and America, she had still had Tommy. Now, Grace and Tommy would have each other, but she would be all alone. 

She didn’t have anyone else but them. Not a single other person. The rest of her family was dead. Her mother had left to travel with the caravans and never wanted to see her again. All the other Shelbys hated her. 

She didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Maybe May would take her in. Though she didn’t think she could bring herself to ask her to do that. Certainly not after everything she and Tommy just put her through.

Still crying, she continued to sweep the floor of the pub, gathering the broken glass and dirt into a dustpan that she dumped in the garbage. Setting the broom aside, she began to clear and wipe down the tables before stacking the chairs on top of them. Only taking breaks to wipe at her eyes or nose with the back of her hand. 

Once everything was put away she stopped, hands pressed flat against the smooth surface of the bar and eyes staring straight ahead. Her bottom lip trembled. 

She had cut Tommy off before he could say much more in the car on the way home because she couldn’t handle having to actually hear him break up with her. They both knew that what they had was now over. There was no point dragging it out and making it even more painful for either of them. And she wasn’t about to pitch a fit over it or beg him and Grace to keep her around. They had a shot at something wonderful together. She wasn’t about to ruin that up for either of them by trying to interject herself where she was no longer wanted.  

When she closed her eyes she could already see it: Tommy and Grace in a brand new, great big house. Tommy grinning as he scooped his child up into his arms, Grace beaming as she watched them. All of them happy beyond belief.

She wondered if it made her awful that a seed of bitterness bloomed in her chest at the image. Despite how deeply she loved them and just wanted them both to be happy. But the reality that it would be without her was agonizing.

Maybe this was some sort of punishment from the universe. For her stupid, selfish decision never to tell either of them about her infertility. She lied to Tommy through omission for years about the fact that she could not have children. And at the end of the day, it was Grace getting pregnant with his child that drove the nails into the coffin of their relationship. In a way, she supposed, it was twistedly poetic.

Face crumbling, she crossed her arms on the bar in front of her, laid her head down on them, and once again began to cry.  

—

“Is she okay?” Grace asked, still staring at the door Lily just rushed out of. Tommy rubbed a hand down his face, frowning.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. Lily had been…weird since their discussion in the car on the way back to Birmingham. If it could even be considered a discussion. She would barely speak to him. Seemed hardly willing to even look at him.

“Is she…is she upset about the baby?”

“I’m not sure.” 

The seed of dread over what Grace’s pregnancy meant for his relationship with Lily had only grown in the few hours since he’d told her. For a moment, there in the car, he thought that when she told him not to worry about it that she meant they were fine. He began to allow himself to hope, just a little, that this wouldn’t be the end of their relationship. That they would be able to work something out.

But maybe he’d been wrong.

“We never really talked about children.”

Grace raised her eyebrows. “Really? At at all?”

He shook his head. “We had a small scare when we first started seeing each other, but…after that it just never came up.”

“Oh.” Grace looked away again, worrying at her lower lip. Reaching over to her, he carefully brushed his fingertips along the back of one of her hands. Throat suddenly dry, he swallowed roughly.

“What do you want to do?” 

“I–I want to keep it.” 

Tommy nodded. He had figured as much already. “Alright.”

Her lips parted to say more, then pressed closed again. “Tommy…” she hesitated. He braced himself for her to tell him the worst. That she was going to stay with her husband. That she wanted to raise the baby with him instead. Sail away. And he would never see her again. 

Reaching across the couch, she folded her warm hand over his, scooting closer to him.

“What do you want to do?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. Unsure if he could take the rejection he was almost certain was coming. When he opened them, she was looking at him imperatively.

“I want you to leave your husband.”

She didn’t seem surprised at the request, looking at him with those shrewd blue eyes. One side of her lips quirked upwards, the faint beginnings of a dimple forming in her cheek. 

“Okay.”

He reached out to her, hand curling around her shoulder. His lungs exhaled a relieved breath he hadn’t even known he was holding. Grace let him pull her in closer to him, sighing as he hooked one finger under her chin and angled her head up enough so that he could kiss her.

“And I want you to marry me instead,” he whispered against her lips between kisses. Grace smiled, leaning back with her eyes shining cheekily.

“Are you proposing to me, Mr. Shelby?”

“Yes,” he said, unable to fight back his own smile. “Yes, I believe I am.”

Grace hummed delightedly, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her forehead to his. “Then I accept.”

He kissed her deeply, eyes closed and allowing himself to get lost in the warmth of her. 

“Once I’ve got an actual ring, I’ll ask you again properly,” he promised. Grace chuckled.

“As if we’ve ever done things properly.” She continued to stroke his face, their foreheads resting against each other’s. “I’ll go back tomorrow to talk to Clive.”

“Will you tell him the truth?”

“Yes, I think I will.” She fumbled with her wedding bands, staring down at them. “He deserves that much.”

“Alright.” He supposed that he would just have to trust her on that. Another thought occurred to him, chest seizing with it. “But Grace…I can’t leave Lily. I won’t leave Lily.” He was aware that it was terribly hypocritical, considering that he’d just asked her to leave her husband for him. But the situation wasn’t exactly the same when it came to Lily, either.

Grace shot him an incredulous look. As if the thought hadn’t even occurred to her. “Tommy, I love you both. I want her around as much as you do.”

He let out a breath of relief. “Okay. Good.” Clearing his throat, he moved closer to her, until his arm was around her shoulders and her head rested on his chest. “Thank you.” Tentatively, he reached out and rested his palm on her stomach. Grace sighed, fingers falling to rest over his. 

“We’re having a baby, Tommy,” she said it with such contagious joy that he couldn’t help but smile, thumb stroking over her belly.

“Yeah.” Turning his head, he kissed her temple. The way that she rested against him made his heart flutter, eyes closing contentedly. But then he opened them, and his gaze landed on the little wooden carving of a horse sitting on a bookshelf in the corner. Something Lily whittled at some point in her free time. He frowned, the lack of her presence gaping and obvious. He wanted her to be involved in any decisions that he and Grace made. And he needed to know what was bothering her. What he could do in order to help fix it.

“When do you think Lily will be back?” Grace asked, as if she were thinking the same exact thing.

“I don’t know. Not too long, I would expect.”

“What did she say when you told her?”

“Not much. She just told me not to worry about it. I thought that meant she was okay with it.” 

“Tommy, if she really doesn’t want this baby…”

“I don’t know if that’s it, Grace.” But even as he said it, he shot a nervous glance at the door. “She might just be tired,” he offered, trying to be optimistic for both their sakes. “It was a rough day.”

Grace just hummed, clearly still anxious. Tommy rubbed a hand along her arm soothingly. 

“Do you think…that maybe she feels left out?”

His brows pinched. He supposed it was possible, even though he had never really thought of Lily as the jealous type. She always seemed so unbothered when it came to him and other women. It hadn’t really occurred to him that she might feel excluded by this new development between him and Grace. 

“I don’t know. Maybe.” He didn’t think that he gave the impression that the baby or impending marriage to Grace would exclude her from his life. But maybe she just needed reassurance. 

Of course, there was always the possibility that a baby was simply something Lily didn’t ever want. Or perhaps the idea of being his and Grace’s concubine did not appeal to her. Maybe she would still feel too much like the odd one out. If he and Grace were married, with their child, the feeling of exclusion, of not being as important, could eat away at her.

That was all ridiculous, of course. She would never be less important or purposefully excluded. Certainly not because of rings and a slip of paper. And he wanted her to be just as involved as he and Grace were in the baby’s upbringing. If that was what she wanted. 

It would be unimaginatively painful to have to let her go. It was unlikely he would ever fully recover from it. But he wouldn’t force her to stay with him, if that wasn’t what she wanted anymore. 

Swallowing the lump that formed in his throat at the suggestion, he pushed the thought to the back of his mind.

“Well, did she seem alright when you asked her about proposing to me?”

Tommy blinked. “She didn’t say much at all when I mentioned it.”

Grace craned her head up towards him, eyes narrowed. “When you mentioned it?”

“Well–” 

“You didn’t ask her!?”

“I–”

“Thomas Michael Shelby!” She seized up one of the pillows and aimed a light smack at him with it. 

“Oi!” His arms raised up on instinct to protect himself.

“Well, no wonder if she feels left out!” Grace huffed, tossing the pillow aside.

“Lily’s never wanted to get married,” he tried to defend. 

“That doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t have liked to be bloody asked if she was okay with it before her lover proposes to someone else. Jesus Christ. So she knows that you were planning to propose to me, without you even really discussing it with her?”

“Erm, technically I would say–” he cut himself off at the look Grace gave him. “Yeah, I suppose that’s about right.”

“Men,” Grace huffed, shaking her head. 

“I really didn’t think that it would bother her…” he started to say, even as his mind turned over the fact that yeah, it probably did look pretty bad from Lily’s perspective. He sighed. Shit. “I’ll talk to her.”

“Mhm.” Grace looked like she was trying to keep her expression stern, but a fond exasperation was leaking into it that greatly undercut the effect. And she curled back up against his side with her head leaning against his shoulder, so she couldn’t have been that put out with him. Wrapping his arm around her, he kissed the top of her head.     

“We’re going to need a bigger house for the four of us.”

“And for any other children.” When he looked at her with an intrigued raised eyebrow, she shrugged coyly, eyes sparkling. “If you and Lily ever were to decide to have some together, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

He hummed at the idea, tilting his head down to kiss her gently again. Grace cupped the side of his face with her hand, resting her forehead against his when they parted.

“I wish that she was here,” she said wistfully. Tommy swallowed hard.

“Me too.” 

Grace tried to hide a small yawn behind her hand and Tommy gave her a small tap. 

“Come on,” he stood up, holding out a hand to her. “You should get some rest.”

She must have been more tired than she was letting on, because she took his hand with minimal complaint, letting him lead her into the bedroom. 

“Washroom is in there,” he pointed to the little door. “And, uh, feel free to go through the dresser and see if any of Lily’s nightgowns might fit you. If not, I have some spare shirts in there. You can wear any of those.”

“Thank you.” She went into the washroom and closed the door. Heaving out a breath, Tommy went back into the sitting room to tidy, shooting periodic glances at the door. 

He was half tempted to try calling the Garrison and find out what was taking so bloody long, but he forced himself to wait. For all he knew, Lily could be on her way back already.

Noises from the bedroom caught his attention, and he headed back in to find Grace sliding underneath the blankets on the bed.

“You’re sure this is alright?” she asked, even as her golden hair came to rest on the pillow.

“Yes, love, I’m sure.”

Nodding, she yawned again, settling into the mattress.

“Lily isn’t back yet.”

“No, she isn’t.” A fact that was only increasing the worry that was building in his mind. “I’ll wait up for her.” He sat down on the other side of the bed, resting his palm on Grace’s leg. “You get some rest.” 

Nodding, her eyes blinked up at him sluggishly. “I love you, Tommy.”

He gulped around the lump that formed in his throat when she said it. “I love you too, Grace.”

Her eyes opened wide at the words, lips curling into a smile that dimpled her cheek. And then she was closing them again, relaxing into the bed. Tommy remained watching over her in the dim light of the bedroom. With very light movements, he stroked the back of his hand along her cheek before pulling away.

—

Lily wiped at her eyes and splashed cold water onto her face from the Garrison’s washroom. Checking herself over one last time in the mirror to make sure it wasn’t obvious that she’d been crying. Nodding to herself and taking a deep breath, she shut off the lights, locked the door behind her, and began the walk home. 

When she entered the apartment, a light was still on in the sitting room, but it was vacant. The bedroom door was closed. So they’d already gone to bed, then.

Hanging up her coat and hat, she opened the little linen closet, pulling out some of the spare blankets she kept there.

To her left, there was the sound of the bedroom door opening and closing, and then the very light creak of the floorboards under Tommy’s feet. She glanced only for a brief, tiny moment at him. He had stripped down to his soft white undershirt, still in his trousers, but his shoes were off.

“You didn’t have to wait up for me.” She didn’t look at him as she gathered the blankets into her arms.

“I wouldn’t have been able to sleep until I knew you were home alright.” His head tilted, brows pulling together at her beginning to haul the blankets over to the couch. “What took so long?”   

“The register was fine, Arthur was just so drunk he couldn’t do simple addition. The place was a mess, though. And when he tried to help me clean up, he broke three glasses simultaneously. So I just sent him home and cleaned and locked everything up on my own.”

“You should’ve called me.”

She shrugged, dumping the blankets onto the couch and going back to close the closet door. “You were busy.” Returning to the couch, she began to rearrange the pillows. “What did you and Grace decide?”

“She’s going to leave Clive.”

“See? I told you that you two would be fine.” 

“She’s sleeping, now.”

“I imagine she’s exhausted.”

“Yes.” His frown deepened as he watched her spread the blankets over the couch. “What are you doing that for?”

She looked up in surprise at the question. Wasn’t it obvious? “Well, I figured you and Grace would take the bed, so…” 

Tommy cocked his head. “And what? You’re just going to sleep on the couch?”

She stuttered, not quite sure why he was asking her. Unless…would they prefer it if she went to a hotel or something instead? “That was the idea, yes.”

“Why?”

Blinking hard, Lily felt her cheeks heat, staring at him a little in disbelief that he was actually going to make her say it. “Well…I mean, this is over, isn’t it?”

Tommy’s eyes widened, the furrow in his brows only deepening. “But I…but I thought…” Had it been under other circumstances, she might have been amused at the rare sight of Tommy Shelby stuttering. “You told me not to worry about it,” he said finally. “In the car on the way back.”   

Lily frowned, confused as to what he meant. “Well, I figured that I would just spare us both the pain of you having to break up with me.”

Tommy’s eyes grew wide as saucers. “You thought that I was breaking up with you!?” His voice rose, she suspected unintentionally.

“I-I,” she stammered, now fully confused herself, “I assumed that since you and Grace are having a baby together and planning on getting married that you wouldn’t–” Her voice broke, and she had to swallow hard and try again. “That neither of you would want–” Her voice caught embarrassingly on the last word with the beginnings of a sob. Unable to look at him, she turned away, practically crumbling in on herself. On top of the heartbreak, frustration at being unable to stop herself from crying began to build. Which in turn only seemed to make her cry harder.

“Lily.”

She jumped when his hands landed on her back and shoulders, whimpering as he turned her around and folded her into his arms. 

“Shh,” he rubbed her back, guiding her to sit down on the couch, practically pulling her into his lap. Her face tucked into his neck while he stroked her hair. And despite her better judgment, she clung to him, practically burrowing against him. Because, despite everything, Tommy still was her safe place, where she could always go for comfort. 

“You thought that we wouldn’t want you anymore?” he asked. Shuddering, she leaned back and away from him, scrubbing desperately at her eyes, cheeks flushed from her tears and embarrassment. And though she tried to turn away the hands he had anchored on her back didn’t let her get far, holding her tight to him.   

“You’re going to go start your real family now, Tom.” 

“The bloody hell are you talking about?” He looked almost offended, and Lily glanced down, shrugging. One of his hands cupped her face, forcing her to look up at him. “Hey. Hey. Look at me. This doesn’t…this doesn’t have to change anything, Lils.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“Of course not. Why would it?” He wetted his lips, an ember of franticness entering his eyes. “We want you with us.” His thumb stroked her cheek, gathering up and wiping away the tears there. “We love you.”

She shuddered with another sob, eyes squeezing shut at the words. “You said that you plan to marry her.”

“So? We can figure all that out. It doesn’t mean that the three of us can’t be together.” His grip on her tightened. “What matters is that we’re all together.” Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on hers. “You’re everything to me. You and Grace.” He kept his eyes steady and stern on hers. “Everything.”

Her hands fell to cover his where they had cradled either side of her face. She wanted more than anything to believe him. 

“So…what? You and Grace get married, she has the baby, you get a house…” 

“And you come live with us.”

Her brows flew upwards at such a brazen suggestion. “I think people will catch onto that, Tommy.”

“Fuck other people. I don’t care what other people say, so long as you’re with us. If anyone gets suspicious, we’ll tell them that I need my assistant close for days that I’m working late.”

“That’s a terrible excuse.” But she couldn’t hold back the small trill of amusement in her voice at the suggestion. Her head leaned more heavily against his palms, his thumbs stroking away what little remained of her tears.

But maybe it really could work. Everyone was so scared of Tommy anyway, they probably wouldn’t risk saying anything for fear of losing their eyes.

“Unless…” an unsurety entered Tommy’s face, “that isn’t what you want.” 

She was startled at the sudden wave of fearfulness that crossed over his features. His throat worked when he swallowed roughly. 

“Tommy, the last thing I want is to lose either of you,” she whispered. 

One of the hands he had cradling her face fell to rest on her waist, pulling her closer until he kissed her. 

“You really think it’ll work?” she asked when he pulled back.

“I’ll make it work,” he promised, eyes lowered as he brushed his face affectionately along the length of her neck.

“And Grace is okay with it?”

“‘Course she is. She loves you as much as I do.” His lips ghosted over her shoulder before he wrapped both arms around her waist, hugging her to him and resting  his cheek against her shoulder. “I’m sorry. When we talked in the car, I thought that you were okay.”

Lily closed her eyes, feeling her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have just…assumed that…” trailing off, she bit her lip. “I’m sorry too.”

When she opened her eyes, Tommy was looking up at her softly. “This is what we get for not talking to each other clearly, eh?” He tilted his head to kiss the hollow of her throat. “It’s okay.” He sighed blissfully when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, running her fingers through his soft hair. “I was worried that the baby was a problem.”

“No,” she said quickly, “it’s not.”

“This child is as much yours as it is mine and Grace’s,” he said firmly. Her bottom lip wobbled violently at that, body going stiff. He could not have known just how much that actually meant to her. “I mean…” he gave her a crooked smile, “you were there when we made it, so…”

A laugh hiccupped from her lungs, head dipping as she giggled. Tommy lifted his face from where he had rested it against her, though his arms stayed around her.

“And if you don’t want me and Grace to get married, we won’t. We’ll figure something else out.”  

“You know that I’ve never been interested in marriage. It makes sense for you to marry her.”

“It would mainly be for appearances. And to legitimize the baby. You wouldn’t be excluded.”

“I know.” She leaned her head against his chest.

“I should have asked you how you felt about it before. I shouldn’t have just assumed…”

“It’s alright.”     

“If it makes you feel any better, Grace just about had my balls when she realized I hadn’t properly spoken to you about it.”

A small laugh left her lips. “Really?”

“Just about beat me over the head with one of the pillows.”

The mental image of Grace descending furiously upon Tommy with one of the pillows on the couch made her giggle. Exhaustion had begun to settle in, leaving her to lean heavily against Tommy as he rubbed soothing circles into her back. 

“You tired?”

She hummed, nodding as she closed her eyes. 

“Let’s get you to bed then, hm?”

“Okay.” She let him coax her to her feet and shepherd her to the bedroom. Grace was curled up under the blankets in the bed, her eyes closed, face half hidden in a pillow. Lily set to work changing out of her clothes and into one of her nightgowns, taking care to be quiet. Behind her, she could hear rustling as Tommy shed his shirt and trousers. As she was just finishing pulling the nightgown on, he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her shoulder.

Humming, Lily closed her eyes, leaning back into him before letting him take her hand and guide her over to the bed. At some point Grace had opened her eyes, watching them softly, lips pulled up into a small smile. Tommy climbed in so that he was in the middle, Grace cuddling up against his side while he pulled Lily in to lay half on his chest. Leaning over him, she pecked Grace on the lips. 

“Hi.”

Grace beamed at her, reaching across Tommy’s chest so that she was embracing them both. “Hi.” 

He wrapped his arms around both of them. Grace's eyes began to flutter closed again. Lily half hid her face against Tommy’s pectoral. Warm and comfortable. He gave them both a small squeeze.  

“I love you,” Lily told them, voice seeming louder than it actually was in the darkness of the room. 

“We love you too,” Tommy said.

“Love you too,” Grace mumbled at the same time, already half asleep. Lily shared an affectionately amused look with Tommy before she let her eyes fall closed. She couldn’t remember the last time that she had felt so comfortable or at peace. 

It was okay. They loved her; she wasn’t going to lose them. All three of them were together. Finally. 

She was asleep within a matter of minutes.

Prev Part • Series • Next Part

[aceofbooks]

Fresh home made corn beef hash?!?!?! That sounds heavenly!

I'm putting all of this under a cut lol. I might come back and clean up the directions, make it look like an actual recipe, but this was all stream of consciousness 🙂‍↕️

I want to learn to make corned-beef from scratch, but I'm a bit intimidated by it, so I usually grab a pre-made slab from the grocery store. I try to buy 4-5 lbs, which usually reduces to about 3-4 lbs. But you can do this with any size over 1 lb, depends on how much meat you'll eat the night before/how much meat you want in the hash/how much you want to put in your freezer(!) for a later date. I boil it in a dutch oven (a big pot also works, I just found that I had to fiddle with the temperature more often throughout the day), on the stove for an afternoon and then have some of that for dinner 😋Directions: put it in the pot with enough water to cover it; bring to a boil; reduce to low and leave covered; needs to reach an internal temp of 145F.

(Save some of the broth so that if you want to reheat the corned-beef and eat it as is, you can re-boil it! It's the best way I've found to reheat leftover corned-beef. Beef broth also works really well, and plain water works in a pinch, but it loses some of the flavor.)

Fair warning, this is a lot of sitting at the stove because you're constantly stirring all the ingredients to make sure they cook evenly. I don't say it, ever, but everything (minus spices) should be chopped to bite sized pieces. The smaller they are, the faster they'll cook, and the more flavor you'll be able to pack onto a single fork, but you don't want to go so small that you end up with an actual literal mash of food.

Pre-heat oven to 425F.

The next evening I get my BIG cast iron (it's at least 12 inches in diameter), do a quick little season on low heat while it warms up. I chop up 1 large onion (yellow or white) or 2 small/medium ones, depends on what I have on hand. That goes in the cast iron on low-medium heat with 1 tbls salted butter (you can also use unsalted butter and just add salt to your preference) with black pepper and like the equivalent of 2 cloves of garlic (I use jarred garlic because I am not deft enough with a knife to mince it myself, so it's more like a HEAPING tablespoon) and I sweat the onions down until they're getting browned on the edges and are mostly translucent.

Move onions/garlic to a separate container and add more salted butter to the pan! Usually 2-3 tbls I think. Chopped up Bell Peppers— at least 2, and you can use whichever you prefer, but I do one of each color: red, orange, yellow, and green, all around the same size. Salt and Pepper to preference. You need to crank the heat up to high, so that you can get a nice sear on the peppers without letting a lot of their water escaping. Mop up the moisture with paper towels as you go—ideally, by the time you're done cooking them, there is no more water sitting in the bottom of the pan.

When the peppers are done and the majority of them are at least partially blackened, move them to a separate container (can be the same container as the onions) and bring the heat down to medium.

This next part is so specific, it's kind of dumb. I use frozen home fries. But I've found that you can't use just any frozen home fries, because if they're diced too small, or they're not effectively pre-cooked, they just turn to mush and gum up the bottom of the pan.

I use these ones specifically. Sometimes I use half a bag, sometimes the whole bag. Depends on how I'm feeling. HOWEVER, I do often have problems finding them in my surrounding grocery stores, so I'm navigating how to make fresh home fries. My plan for next time is using the techniques from this recipe, because I have done that recipe before and the potatoes turned out great. Just need to adapt it. (EDIT: just noticed that that particular post doesn't have the directions, but I have the recipe book it comes from. If I remember, I'll come back to write the relevant instructions here.)

ANYWAY, home fries in the skillet with 2-4 tbls of butters, salt and pepper to preference, and just a crap ton of Parsley. Fresh or dried, your preference. I probably use like 3 tbls or something. Stir frozen home fries until browned and crispy and just generally thoroughly cooked. Stir fresh home fries until ????

Move potatoes to separate container (can be the same container as peppers/onions) and add chopped corned-beef leftovers. This only needs 1-2 tbls of butter on medium-high heat. Pay attention to the pieces you're cutting if you have texture issues. Pieces that are all fat or the majority of it is fat, will not render down and will remain as they are, which is not ideal for me personally. This only needs 1-2 tbls of butter on medium-high heat. Add pepper (not salt!) and parsley (only like 1 tbls this time). You want some browning/caramelizing on the meat, but you don't want to make them crispy. You're really just cooking them long enough to warm them up, and the browning happens very quickly.

Remove from heat. Depending on the size of your container(s), you can either add the meat to the container, or add everything back to the cast iron. It's easier to mix everything together if you can have it all in one big container that isn't the cast iron. If mixing in a separate container, add it all back to the cast iron.

Even everything out. Put in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and, using a flat spatula (metal is ideal with the cast iron), take sections of the hash and flip them so that you're kind of getting the stuff on the bottom on the top and the stuff on the top on the bottom. Put in the oven for 15 more minutes. If you're my Husband, you will now take the opportunity to make some fried eggs, and the hash stays in the oven for however long that takes.

Remove from oven, serve nice and hot! Husband also likes to add sriracha or another hot sauce to his plate/bowl. Enjoy!

[kitkatpancakestack]

2022 writing review

I know it's 2023 now but only, like, barely, so it still counts.

Tagged by @ttimbradford and @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels i love you both so MUCH MWAH! <3

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: LMAOO considering I didn't start posting fic until late 2021 like basically all of my fics were posted this (last) year so: 17

2. Word count posted for the year: 201,629 (for serious?!?!?)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 9-1-1

4. Pairings: buck/eddie, chimney & co., Hen & her Cake Guy

5. Story with the most: 

kudos: Despite it all, Because of it all - 1,511

bookmarks: Despite it all, Because of it all - 622

comment threads: Breathe - 202

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Wait for me there was the longest fic I've written and gave me the most anguish. I wanted to do a good job with the au aspect while also making the characters true to their voices, and the style of the fic was something new for me. It was so frigging challenging but I'm very happy with the way it turned out.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): I won't use the word "proud," because I'm proud of everything I have written in some capacity, but I guess the work I am least fond of would be Sit with me in the dark. It was pretty well-received but idk, it just never felt like I was able to produce the writing that I wanted for it.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Nothing specific, but Dev, I always deeply appreciate your reviews, so thoughtful and kind, ily

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Right now! It is excruciating to get words on a page, and it's incredibly disheartening, so it is something I'm really going to try to work on and make time for in the new year

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Eddie's breakdown in How Beautifully We Fall. I was just sort of plodding along with the fic, and suddenly I was like, "Oh, I'm going to make this man have a whole entire nervous breakdown," and it's one of my favorite scenes I've written.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: umm how about:

This one is from the home inside my chest, my chimney-centric fic, one that is so very close to my heart:

“Everybody has a home inside their chest, and some people have a little one-story ranch house, while other people have sprawling mansions that are always under construction. Everybody you meet who becomes special to you gets a room, whether you move them in or not.” Hen looks at him, lips pulling up in a smile. “I think you need to move Kevin out of that box in your head and into the home in your chest.”

I was also very proud of this part in Hold on, Let go

It was fear.

Stripped down to its bare bones, it was fear. There wasn’t anything deep or insightful or poetic about it. Buck was scared and Eddie was scared and they were too broken to try and be scared together.

So—

The fear: that love exists in dark corners even if you don’t believe it should grow there,

The fear: that it finds you even if you don’t think you deserve it,

The fear: that love begins and ends and begins again and ends again,

The fear: that sometimes love isn’t enough,

The fear: that sometimes it is.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: Allowing myself to write what I want even if it's heavy and angsty, exploring different voices and stylistic choices.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I don't know! I guess we'll see. Hopefully it will involve writing and not just staring at an empty google doc :D

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): oh man, all the support you guys give is so amazing and really drives me to be better and sit down to write. shoutout to @ttimbradford @eddiediass @hetrez @rewritetheending @yramesoruniverse and I know I'm missing some of y'all, but whether it was your supportive words, hashing out character points or plot ideas, or just being an ear, I have so appreciated you <3

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: I am in everything I write

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: the best thing you can do is just sit down and start. Whether you're new to writing or in a slump or it's been a while. Be a writer and not an editor; allow yourself to just spill words on a page and forget about if they're the right words or in the correct order or if it sounds good. Just write. Write about anything. Write in any tense you want. Be goofy, be serious, be dramatic, be heavy. Just write.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I have a Lucy Chen-centric fic I'm working on! It's really gotten me back into writing. Hoping I'll be able to write some more buddie as well

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: It's late so i'll throw it to anyone who wants to participate! Please say I tagged you and go for it. Love ya'll, and thanks for the support <3

[wonnoy]

life long besties (?)

the last part for haters to lovers with kageyama ! you can read part 1 and 2 for it to make better sense.

but, part 3 is going to be more spicy so if this is what you're here for lol

[][][

warnings: very light spice. like a bb sprinkle.

1 | 2 | 3

You were fighting again, what a big surprise. Hinata had long since stopped trying to get you guys to like each other, making the ridiculous claim every time you guys fight 'just admit you love each other'.

As if.

Your feelings for him, obviously hatred, had only been growing for these past years.

"You're clearly going senile," he said in a snide voice reeling you back into reality with a glare, "zoning out of the blue."

You pushed back away from him, moving further away from on the sidewalk. You two started fighting again, but this time outside and the both of you alone in the middle of the night. Hinata had long since jogged ahead, no wanting to hear you two bicker with him being the middle. You understood, it had to have been tiring when it's all you ever hear.

"Sorry," you looked at him from the corner of your eye, "I don't associate myself with anyone who has virgin lips," you finished. You smiled widely seeing the nickname take its desired effect on him. His shoulder bunching up and his death eyes staring right back at you.

He snuffed at you, "how do you know if I have virgin lips,"

"Because you have too big of an ego to kiss anyone on your own unless they begged to be kissed first," you answered immediately. You could see him huff next to you, crossing his arms roughly, "and you're ugly."

"I know I'm not ugly," he responded.

You scoffed at him, "your mom tell you that?"

Kageyama, though flustered, managed to call you a dumbass under his breath. You looked in front of you again, the sidewalk looked to be infinite with the way the darkness hugged everything. You slid your face deeper into the scarf around your neck, it was colder out tonight.

"Are you cold?" you looked over at him, his hands were stuffed into his pockets and he wasn't looking at you.

"Yea," you nodded and look forward again. Your jacket was not doing much against the cold.

"Should've worn thicker clothing then dumbass," he snickered next to you.

You turned your face up at him, "you act like such a child, you're 27. You don't look like you're much better off," you could hear him curse you under his breath again.

"I'm a volleyball player, I've been conditioned for temperature like this, you're the dumbass here," he replied. You looked down at the ground.

"Whatever you say virgin lips," you muttered. He still believed that you kissed someone before him and you were not going to tell him otherwise. This is best leverage you've had on him ever since you met him. Kageyama had thin lips, but they never seemed to be chapped.

You could feel your heartbeat speed up a little, just looking at him peeved you apparently. You continued to stare at him, the distant thought you pushed away nearly 6 years coming back up. Kageyama being an attractive guy.

"Why are you staring at me like a dumbass," Kageyama was looking at you now, but your eyes weren't on his. They were still on his lips.

"I'm not a dumbass you asshole," you looked away in a huff.

"You were staring at my lips weren't you," he said cockily and you quickened your pace, "oi, slow down dumbass," and he started walking fast too.

God, you started to jog away from him.

"You can't run from me, I'm a professional player," he said from behind but you didn't care and started to sprint away.

You were just caught staring at his lips. You hated him so much, yet why did you continue to hang out with him if you really disliked him as much as you did. You were running out of breath and looked behind you. Kageyama was only lightly jogging after you instead of full on sprinting like you were.

Hinata should have still been around here, you were bound to run into him at one point because he jogged up ahead not too long ago. You all three were heading home together, he wouldn't just leave you two.

As soon as you thought that, Hinata's orange head came into view.

"Hinata!" you cried out and he turned around to see you sprinting down the sidewalk directly into him.

"What is it, did you two stop love-fighting each other yet?" Hinata asked. You were on your knees, struggling to get some air into your system when you gave him an incredulous look.

"I'm running from Kageyama," you tried to say but it came out more like a wheeze. Your lungs burned while you stood up straight again, being wary for whenever Kageyama would come into view again.

Hinata sighed, "you both are childish. Just hash it out like you always do-" he was cut off when a male voice called out your name. You both turned in the direction from where it came from and it was Kageyama now sprinting in your direction.

"y/n!" he yelled out again and you turned, booking it in the other direction. You were already tired and running away from Kageyama was useless, so why were you doing it?

It wasn't long before Kageyama caught up to you, barely out of breath when he finally reached you. You however had to bend over again with your hands on your knees heaving again.

"Why are you such a dumbass, you kept running. Now look at you, bent over and breathless," if your ears weren't already red, they sure were now.

"Shutup, I don't want to hear you," you got off your knees and stood up straight against him again. He took this as a challenge and got up in your face too.

"Too bad then,"

You glared at him, puffs of air visible as you still struggled to get your bearings together, "I don't want to see you either,"

"Then look away," he responded and stepped closer to you. He was right, you could just look away and if you hated him so much you could have always just avoided him for years. But you didn't. You kept seeking out his company to bother him and say that you hated him.

Shit, maybe you didn't hate him. Your stomached clenched along with your heart when you thought of that. Had you been lying to yourself for the past decade just because he called you a dumbass? Hinata had long since cleared that incident up, but that didn't stop you from 'hating' him.

It felt weird but eerily calming to be glaring at the man who you believed you hated for the past decade. Him glowering right back at you as well.

"Listen, virgin lips-" he interrupted you with a snort, "- you don't stop talking and I'll shut you up,"

"That's not how-"

"Virgin lips," you took a step closer.

"No-"

"Virgin Lips," crossed your arms, cutting him off again. He was more than visibly irritated. His fingers were clenching by his side as he kept getting more pissed at you. You could care less.

"Dumba-"

"Virgin lips," you cut him off once more. By now he was in your face, grumbling all to heaven and back.

"-ass-"

"Virg-" you were cut off this time by Kageyama roughly grabbing you by the shoulders and slamming his lips into yours.

He was warm. Maybe he wasn't lying when he said he was conditioned. His lips were thin, but at least they weren't chapped like you speculated for them to be. He was firm against you, barely even moving his lips against yours.

You really were lying to yourself when you said you hated him. You weren't feeling hatred right now, but content. It felt weird to have your heart swell around in your chest, you used to associate it with hatred.

When he pulled away, there was a daze in his eye and a blush on his face that you knew didn't come from the cold.

"I no longer have virgin lips," he said, licking them as if for good measure.

"Me too," you said. When you did, whatever daze he was in was gone for good when he eyed you down. They were wide before they narrowed down into impossible slits.

"So you were lying huh? You damn dumbass," you stuck your tongue at him and he licked his lips again.

"You're the dumbass here for believing it dumbass," you turned away from him and started to walk again, "this doesn't change the fact that I still hate you,"

"You have a funny way of showing hate dumbass and I like it," he snickered behind you. Then came the infamous bickering you two shared constantly, but now you two knew neither of you actually ever meant it.

(in the distance hinata is standing with a shit eating grin on his face. he just won the betting pool between yamaguchi and tsukishima. he totally called it and everything)

[][]

i think i might have to edit this later but it was sitting in my drafts

[adventuresinwonderlust]

Title: Serious Inquiries Only: PART 5

*FOR PART 1 CLICK HERE, FOR PART 2 CLICK HERE, FOR PART 3 CLICK HERE, For PART 4 CLICK HERE or SEE MASTERLIST*

Pairing: dom! yoongi x reader ft. Hobi

Warnings: Talk of sexual favors, flirting, crack, humor, Slight angst, Dry Humping (M) (F), Daddy Kink, Glory Hole (M) Receiving.

Rating: 18 and over

Tag list: @mochilicious-yoongi​

Hobi:

“Let me get this straight, you applied for a VIP invite for Y/N to go to the SIO Annual Meet and Greet because you want to reveal yourself as Gloss to her?” Hobi angrily whispers to Yoongi across the table at the quaint diner on campus. “Yes, that’s exactly right.” Yoongi says with confidence, sipping his Iced Americano. “Can I give advice here?” Hobi lifts a finger in the air for permission. “No,” Yoongi clips, “Your advice is the reason I’m stuck in this shitty predicament. I want her Hobi, and I don’t want to wait anymore. I won’t compete with anyone and that includes myself.” “Ah Hyung. I just don’t want to upset her. She can really be, sensitive, you know. I don’t want this to trigger her to close off again like she did with Trevor.” “I’m not Trevor.” Yoongi states. “I know, I know but still. If she freaks out, she will just retreat into her own head and who knows when any of us will see her again.” Yoongi throws himself back, sighing in frustration. Hobi eyes him carefully, trying to gauge whether he is angry. “I’m sorry Hobi. I’m doing this. I sent the invitation already. Enough is enough. She deserves to know, and I deserve an end to this vicious cycle.” “I understand that but Hyung…” “Enough Hobi! I don’t care ok. I’m doing this,” Yoongi shouts, getting up now, pulling his wallet out, and placing money on the table, “I’m sorry to shout. I know you mean well. Breakfast on me. Talk later.”

Hobi enters the apartment he shares with Y/N, trying desperately to avoid her and/or a conversation with her. He shuts the door softly, locking it slowly, and hurrying towards his room. He sighs once he makes it safely, dropping his pouch on his bed and pulling off his jacket. He turns to flick the light on, yelling bloody murder at the sight of Y/N sitting at his computer desk. “What are doing in here?” He shouts. “I was lonely.” She shrugs. He pants, desperately, mumbling under his breath angrily. “I have request to fill today Y/N, so um, please, I need my desk.” He waves for her to move out of his seat. “Sitting in the dark like a creep.” He grumbles, starting his computer. “Did you see Yoongi today?” She inquires, hanging Hobi’s jacket in the closet for him. “Yeah, I did. We had breakfast.” “How is he?” “Good.” Hobi clips, trying to keep things short. “Did he mention me?” “Nope. We talked shop, normal stuff.” “Oh, I guess he’s still mad at me.” Hobi shrugs, “He didn’t mention it.” “Maybe I should go see him.” “Uh, no, he’s working now so, best leave it be.” She nods in response, fiddling with the items on Hobi’s desk. “I really like him Hobi, I just can’t get Gloss out of my head, like I felt a connection with him. I know it sounds dumb but it's true. I wish I was better at this relationship shit.” She sighs. Hobi looks at her as she aimlessly moves about his bedroom. “You know, I think the first step in all this would be to let go of all the shit that happened with Trevor. I feel like you never got over that and it's controlled your every decision since the two of you broke up. Forgive him, not because he deserves it but because you do.” Her eyes light up and she walks over to Hobi and hugs him. “You’re so smart Hobi and right. What would I do without you?” Hobi chuckles, pushing her away jokingly, “Alright, Alright, I’m still traumatized from Yoongi’s birthday. I don’t feel comfortable being this close to you yet.” She laughs, slapping Hobi’s arm and walking out of his room. Hobi throws his head back, groaning loudly, trying to relieve the stress accumulated at his shoulders.

Y/N:

You walk tall, confidence and anxiety fueling your every step. “I got this.” You continue to say over and over, finally arriving at your destination. You yank the door open, the bells chiming loudly as you enter. You walk to the counter and wait. In no time, a person emerges from the back, “Welcome to Iron Ink, how can I help…. Holy Shit. Y/N, hi. What are you doing here?” “Trevor, hi. I think it’s time we talked.”

Yoongi:

“I’ll take the thigh restraints.” Yoongi points at the leather thigh cuffs lined in fur. The employee behind the counter nods, handing him the box. Yoongi takes to reading the back, “Does this come with the wrist restraints?” He inquires. “Nah, but we have the matching ones in the back stock if you want them.” Yoongi nods. “You want the locks as well.” The employee asks. “Yeah, everything.” “You got it Gloss.” The employee says, heading to the back stock room. Yoongi takes to browsing the small shop, his eyes settling on a set of sterling silver nipple clamps. He takes the box off the shelf and reads the back. The employee emerges from the back. “Ah, those are a best seller.” He explains to Yoongi. “Do you have them in gold?” “I do actually.” Yoongi nods. “Excellent. I’ll take them in gold and get me rubber covers for them just in case, oh and more lube.” “You are going all out today. She must be special huh?” The employee smiles. “Very.” Yoongi mumbles, pulling out his credit card and handing it to the employee.

Y/N:

“I must admit, it’s a shock to see you after all this time. I mean, we didn’t end things well.” Trevor explains, pulling a chair out for you to sit in. You look around the back room, remembering all the times the two of you had fooled around back here when suddenly your heart drops and you imagine all the other women he must have fooled around with as well. “We didn’t, did we?” You turn to face him now. “No. I mean things were not good towards the end.” He chuckles. You eye him angrily. “What’s funny?” “Nothing. I mean you were kind of going crazy back then. Showing up unannounced and the arguing was just, well you remember.” “Maybe because my boyfriend was handing out free tattoos with every blowjob.” You snip. He sucks his teeth, sitting up straight. “You know I wasn’t doing that. I’m not going to say I was a saint cause I wasn’t but I wasn’t sleeping with clients.” “Bullshit,” You hiss, “Just be honest Trevor.” He shrugs. “So, you came here to hash things up again? I'm not really interested in doing that honestly. Like if you wanted to catch up and I don’t know, check in, then cool but I don’t want to talk about the past.” “Check in? You mean fuck? Not on your death bed would I bless you with this cunt again.” Trevor laughs out loud at your brazenness. “I know how wild you can get baby girl. Who's taking care of you now a days?” You roll your eyes at his pig-headed question but decide to give him what he wants. “Actually, Yoongi. You remember him, don’t you?” You lean back in the chair you're sitting in and cross your legs, resting your hands in your lap. Trevor tilts his head in confusion, and you watch in amusement as the wheels spin. “Wait a minute. That quiet dude that used to chill with Hobi? Get the fuck outta here. I always knew he had a crush on you. That’s interesting because you were always accusing me of cheating and here you are fooling around with the kid that drooled every time you walked by. Who's the pot and who's the kettle in this equation Y/N?”

You laugh out loud. “You are both pot and kettle. Had I just gotten with Yoongi and ignored you from the beginning I wouldn’t be sitting here looking for closure now.” “Oh, I see, you want closure. Well, here it is for you. You were hot, I knew that Yoongi kid wanted you but he’s an arrogant fuck and I wanted to one up him and guess what, I did. Tell him to enjoy my sloppy seconds.” You gasp, jumping from your seat and slapping Trevor across the face. “Fuck you Trevor! You’re trash. I can't believe it took me so long to realize it.” You say simply, heading out of the tattoo shop. “Hey, Y/N,” Trevor calls out to you, curiosity fueling you to spin and face him. “You said you wanted closure, well, here it is for you. I’m an asshole who played at being a decent guy to get you in my bed. Once I used you up, I went back to what I did best and that’s fuck around. We all have a cross to bear baby girl. I’m not ashamed of who I am. The question here is after all this time, have you figured out who you are without me?” You scoff at his statement, shaking your head, and releasing a huge sigh. “Yeah, I did Trevor, and I couldn’t have done it without you showing me exactly who you are, so thank you and I forgive you. Take care.” You pull the door open, the fresh air from outside blowing your hair back. You close your eyes and let it wash over you when you smile, feeling free finally, of Trevor, of the past.

Yoongi:

Yoongi arrives to his apartment, setting his goodie bags on the ground next to him and digging his keys out of his pocket to unlock the door. He grabs his bags once again and grips the knob, turning it and walking into the now locked door. “What the fuck?” He huffs, setting the bags down again and digging his keys out. He shoves them into their respective locks and turns the knob, throwing the door open. “Huh.” He whispers, wondering if he could’ve left this morning without locking the apartment. He grabs his bags and walks into the apartment carefully. He shuts the door quietly, reaching into the umbrella holder by the door for the bat he keeps there. He pulls it out gently and moves throughout his apartment. He notices his bedroom door open and lifts the bat up as he makes his way to his room. He shoves the door open quickly, shouting into the room, “Hands up!” “Well at least you practice safe sex.” His mother drawls, turning around from his bed with his box of condoms and silk ties in her hands.

Yoongi sighs in relief, “Eomma, what are doing in my things?” “I was straightening up this place. It needs a woman’s touch in here. Tell me what are these for? Do you tie women up for sexual pleasure? Are you a deviant?” Yoongi pinches at the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I am not a deviant no, please put those things back and next time don’t go through my things.” She turns around with a grunt, placing the items in the secret drawer she found them in. Yoongi spins and leaves the room, grabbing his bags from the adult store and hiding them in the hall closet. “Why didn’t you call?” He asks, his mother emerging from his room. “Can’t a mother surprise her son for his birthday?” She mumbles, moving around with purpose, inspecting his apartment. “My birthday passed already Eomma. You could’ve just called.” “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in person. You’re always so busy now. I had to pop up.” “About that, that key I gave you, it’s for emergencies only.” “Today was an emergency. Motherly emergency. I haven’t heard from you in a while. How’s work?” She shuffles towards Yoongi’s office causing Yoongi’s heart to jump. “Uh, Eomma, come, let me make you tea. I’ll tell you all about work and show you some sheet music.” She stops, smiling at him with a nod. Yoongi turns and begins for the kitchen. “Oh,” He hears her yelp, “Tell me, is this used for piano lessons?” She comes from the hall, holding one of Yoongi’s goodie bags in one hand and the box of thigh restraints in the other.

Y/N:

“Ahhh, fuck, yeah, fuck! I'm cumming.” You cringe, hearing Hobi shout from his bedroom as you enter your apartment. You drop your keys on the counter, a shimmering silver envelope catching your eye. You grab it off the counter and are immediately surprised to see it’s addressed to you. You flip the envelope over and tear it open to reveal an invitation:

Dear WildGoddess11:

You have been exclusively invited to attend Serious Inquiries Only Annual Meet and Greet Event by one our top content creators Gloss93.

Our event will be held Saturday XX-XX-XXXX at 10pm. Please be sure to sign in at our VIP table to receive your exclusive VIP bracelet that will allow you access to some of our latest and greatest products and features, as well as mingle with some of the best content creators across our platform.

We look forward to meeting you.

Remember,

Serious Inquiries Only

Your jaw drops and your heart races as your eyes scan the invite over and over. You haven’t spoken to Gloss in a week and Hobi says he never attends the meet and greet. You needed to talk to Hobi, but you knew he'd kill you if you walked in while he was filming.

You pull your phone out of your pocket and text Hobi. ‘I need to talk to you ASAP, 911!’. In a frantic flash, Hobi emerges from his bedroom, throwing a shirt on over his head. “What's going on?” He pants. You simply lift the invite up in the air and allow him to take it from you. “Shit.” He whispers, reading the invite quickly, and slapping it in his palm nervously. “What should I do?” You ask, scanning his puzzled face.

“Hey, I’m going to head out. Thanks for the lunch break. Call me later?” A random female waves at you, having popped out of Hobi's room. Your gaze widens watching Hobi walk over and smooch the unknown female. “Sure thing beautiful. Talk soon.” He walks her out and closes the door, heading to the kitchen for a Gatorade. “What?” He asks, plopping down on the couch. “Who was that?” “Later for that. We have more pressing matters at hand.” He clips, raising the invite in the air. “Ok, so, do I accept the invite?” You shrug. Hobi drops his head back, grunting in frustration. “What?” You whine. “Nothing, it’s nothing. I guess I feel bad. This is all my fault. If I hadn't given you Gloss’ code, you wouldn’t be so confused about everything.” Hobi explains, running his fingers through his hair. “No, stop it. I am ok Hoseok, really. I am happy you gave me his code. You pushed me out of my shell and challenged me to get back out into the world. I love you. I mean, I couldn’t do any of this without you!” You walk over to Hobi now and drop down into his lap hugging him. “I love you too Y/N, even if you are a nasty freaking psycho sometimes.” You both burst into laughter, breaking the hug. “Hey, don’t think we aren’t going to address the random girl that just walked out of here. Spill it Hobi!!” You scold, smiling once you see the large grin spread across his face.

Yoongi:

Yoongi sighs deeply, exhausted from having dealt with his mother the night before. He always hated when she popped up on him unannounced, sneaking around his life, searching for some deep dark secret. Yoongi is thankful for his quick wit and being able to convince his mother that the items she found were for a gift for Hobi, whom she’s never met and now never wanted to. He spent the rest of the night, showing her his sheet music and lesson plans for his students, pulling out his old keyboard from his closet and playing for her until she was satisfied enough to leave. What should’ve been a quiet birthday dinner between mother and son, like normal people, turned into a night of mental tug of war. Yoongi drank back his Americano quickly, kicking himself for not getting a larger size, when his phone buzzed.

Goddess: I got your invitation to the meet and greet. I have to say I’m a little confused, why would you invite me to that? I’ve heard through the grapevine that you’ve never attended. Any reason for the change up?

Me: Yeah… you.

Goddess: I don’t understand.

Me: Promise you will.

Goddess: Well, in that case, I accept. You are officially unblocked. How will I recognize you?

Me: I’ll be wearing a white and gold mask. Text me when you arrive, and I’ll tell you where I am.

Goddess: I am so excited to finally see your face.

Me: I am excited to finally shed this mask.

Goddess: What does that mean?

“Hey.” Yoongi hears, his head popping up from his phone. He smirks catching Y/N put her phone in her pocket. Yoongi pulls in a deep breath. “So, why on earth are we meeting in the student library. It’s a bit, high school romance, no?” Y/N scoffs at Yoongi’s comment. “Actually, I felt like it’s a better option for us. Lots of people around. No funny business, just schoolwork.” Yoongi nods, grinning at her ridiculous assumption. “And using Hobi to get in contact with me, I mean, we aren’t kids.” “It just worked out that way Yoongi. Besides, you were a bit pissed at me last time we saw each other.” “Can you blame me?” “No, that’s why I chose the library. No temptation, out in the open.” She waves her arms around at the space and Yoongi chuckles at the empty space. “There’s no one here because its 9am. The library isn’t crowded until lunch time and I promise you there isn’t a surface in this place that doesn’t have some sticky substance on it.” Yoongi says with raised brows, shaking his head when her eyes pop open.

“Well, anyway I wanted to get started on our project now, so we have less to do later.” “Think you can focus long enough naughty girl?” Yoongi teases, leaning forward to brush his arm against hers. She slides over a bit, clearing her throat and pulling a notebook from her bag. “Did you have a topic in mind?” She asks, opening the notebook looking at Yoongi. “No, I actually haven’t really thought about it.” “Well, I was thinking of doing an expose on social media and the evolution of platforms like SIO.” She suggests causing Yoongi’s brows to fly upwards. “Uh, yeah, no. I’m not really interested in that. We should pick a subject that matters and that we know a lot about.” “Oh, come on, we can interview Hobi. I think it’ll be fun and outside the box.” Yoongi shakes his head, eyeing Y/N suspiciously. “So suddenly you’re the expert on SIO? Why the sudden interest?” He questions. “No reason other than the students at this school really love it and it’s a huge money-making platform.” She shrugs. “Bullshit. Give me your username and I’ll subscribe to your content.” Yoongi teases, trying to see if she’ll open the door for him to confess. She laughs out loud. “You’re adorable. I don’t have an SIO and if I did, you wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

Yoongi breaths in deeply, eyeing their surroundings to be sure it's still empty before leaning in to whisper in her ear. “You sure about that naughty girl? I seem to be handling you pretty well don’t you think?” “Uh, Yoongi, stop. We need to focus.” She whispers, tucking her hair behind her ear. Yoongi leans in closer, smelling her sweet perfume, his erection growing as his need flows throughout his body. “Do you really want me to stop? Because if you do, I’m going to need you to stop biting on your lip.” He whispers to her, lifting his hand to pull her bottom lip from her teeth. She groans at his touch, slamming her mouth into his. Yoongi takes a deep breath through his nose, raptured by her aggressive attack on his mouth. He moans as she shoves her tongue in his mouth, swirling hers around his until she can grasp his tongue with her lips and suckle on it. His cock strains in his jeans and he is grateful when she straddles him, driving her sex across his jailed member. “So much for focusing on schoolwork.” Yoongi groans between kisses. “Shut up before I change my mind.” She pants, grinding down harder into his lap. “Fuck.” Yoongi grunts, lifting her up and sitting her onto the desk in front of him. He takes her mouth into another lustful kiss, making his way down her neck, nipping at the soft flesh.

He stands up straight, making himself comfortable between her legs. “Yoongi…” She whines. “Shh. You wouldn’t want anyone to hears us would you,” He warns, gripping her by hips and pulling her forward until her sex is pressed firmly against his massive hard on, “Now, do daddy a favor and let him watch you fuck yourself against his cock. Quickly naughty girl, it seems like there’s a crowd building in here.” He teases, hitching his hips forward to run across her clit. She gasps at the feeling, taking no time in grinding against him again. He takes her hips and pulls her closer against him, the feeling of her trembling walls teasing his cock in the most amazing way. Her head falls back and Yoongi drinks in the sight of her panting and moaning softly, her wetness beginning to soak into the front of his jeans. “That’s it naughty girl. Just like that.” He encourages, moaning softly when she picks up her speed, her cunt flicking across his clothed tip. “Shit. You keep that up and you just might make me cum in my jeans. Would you like that naughty girl?” “Yes.” She whimpers, hooking one of her legs around his waist and pulling Yoongi closer to her core. She grips the back of his shirt tightly, moaning softly. “Please, daddy, suck my tits.” She begs, yanking down her top now, to expose one of her perky nipples. Yoongi growls, leaning his head down to wrap his pout around the pert bud, rolling his tongue along her piercing, a loud moan escaping her throat but Yoongi could care less if they are caught now.

His cock is too hard, and her cunt too soaked for him to ever stop now. He hums around her nipple, releasing it quickly and taking over the situation, feeling his climax building with every flick across his sensitive tip. He yanks her closer, wrapping both her legs around his waist and begins to hitch his hips upwards, gliding his needy erection across her sex, wondering when the last time he dry humped anyone was. She moans wildly causing Yoongi to cover her mouth as he wraps his arm around her waist, humping her faster and faster. Her breath quickens and thighs begin to shake. “Hold on for me naughty girl. I’m so close.” He grunts, his body burning, balls tightening, and stomach clenching. He grips her mouth tightly, panting into her ear, “I’m going to cum.” She nods her head, reaching up to pull his hand from her lips. “Me too, me too.” She moans. Yoongi groans as quietly as he can, his hot seed spurting out onto his balls and dripping down his jeans to his thigh. Y/N on the other hand, cries out loudly, biting onto Yoongi’s neck to hush herself before he can cover her mouth. “Fuck!” Yoongi hisses as Y/N clenches down harder on his neck, slowly releasing him when she comes down from her high. They are both panting messes when Yoongi takes a step back. She doesn’t say anything for a while, she just slides off the desk, gathering her things. “Yoongi, I…”  He looks her over and scoffs. “Yeah, yeah. I know how this goes. You gotta go right? This was wrong and what not. It's cool. I have to go home and shower anyway. I like the SIO idea.” He clips, trying to keep his composure. “Really? So, we’re good?” She inquires. He nods, not having a care in the world, safe in the knowledge that all will be revealed at the meet and greet.

HOBI:

“You look amazing Y/N.” Hobi smiles at his friend in her Rose pink skintight mini dress. “Do you think Gloss will like it?” She twirls. “I think he’s going to love it.” “I think it suits being a VIP at a fancy meet and greet event.” She giggles. “It definitely does, well, I'm gonna go ahead if you’re ok. The content creators are always asked to arrive before the event starts.” “I'm good. Go have fun and I'll see you there.” She waves him off. He takes her in one more time, feeling warm at how bright and happy she looks. “You really look great Y/N.” “Thanks Hobi.” He nods and head out the door.

He arrives at the event, smiling wide when he sees Yoongi clad in an all-black suit, clutching a white and gold full face mask. “How phantom of the opera of you.” He notes. Yoongi chuckles, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t know Hoseok, maybe this was a bad idea.” “No, no, no. Hey come on, Fighting! You got this! She looks amazing tonight by the way. You’re gonna drop dead. She’s just glowing, really.” Hobi can't help but gloat, leading Yoongi into the event. Yoongi slides his mask on, following closely behind Hobi. “Really? I can't wait to see her and get this charade over with.” “I just hope she remembers that we are friends and I have loved and supported her all these years, you know for when she goes to kill us.” Hobi laughs loudly. They approach the sign in table for content creators and check in, walking about the event. “Shit, look at this place.” Yoongi notes, looking around the space in amazement. “Yeah, last year they had GO-GO dancers, a motorcycle show, the works. This year I hear they have a lot of high-tech sex toys.” Hobi watches as Yoongi just nods, still looking about. “Hey, listen, I wanted to tell you something.” Hobi cuts in, drawing Yoongi’s attention. “What’s up?” Yoongi asks. “I asked Hannah to be my girlfriend.” Yoongi stops, turning to Hobi. “Shit. You really like her huh? Well, I called it. I'm happy for you Hoseok. Maybe after Y/N kills us we can all double date.” Hobi laughs loudly, patting Yoongi on the back. “For sure and you really did call it didn’t you. Great intuition I’m telling you.” Hobi praises, pushing Yoongi further into the event.

Y/N:

You arrive at the event on time, making your way over to the VIP table to check in. You take a deep breath, trying to calm the nerves you can't seem to shake. “Your name.” The check in clerk asks and you lean in close to give it to her. She smiles widely, handing you a VIP lanyard. “Enjoy the event. You’re super lucky, this is the first time that this content creator has ever attended an event.” You smile and nod, cringing when you walk away at the added nerves from the clerk's comment.

Me: I’m here.

Gloss: I’m in the VIP showroom.

Me: Ok, I am going to come find you.

Gloss: I'll be waiting.

You move through the event with ease, stopping every so often to check out some of the vendors and even chat with other content creators, buying time before you have to meet with Gloss, your nerves at an all-time high. You walk through the curtain to the VIP showroom, flashing your VIP tag to the security guard as you enter. You check out some of the vendor tables as you pass by, eyes widening at all the amazing new tech they offer. You stop at a table, checking out the toys at the table, your eyes scanning a vibrating anal plug. “40 percent off for VIPs.” The vendor says out loud to you. “Uh, that’s ok. I was just looking.” “Sure thing. It has 4 different speeds plus it heats up when the speeds increase.” “Wow.” You giggle. “Yeah, it’s a best seller on our website. Take my card.” He hands it to you and you nod, putting it in your clutch and walking off.

You make your way towards the back of the showroom and stop again at these two huge connected pods. “What on earth is this?” You mumble. “Ah, I’m glad you asked,” A very enthusiastic vendor boasts, “This here is a state of the art, never before seen, Glory Hole.” “Like a bathroom glory hole.” He laughs at your statement. “Essentially yes but this one is much cleaner and more intimate. It has a larger more comfortable, adjustable hole for the gentlemen as well as a vibrating saddle for the ladies to sit comfortably and get her own pleasure. Our technology is state of the art, the walls are full on touch sensitive and ignite with bursting colors when you or your partner touch or glide your hands against them. There is also a panel on the wall that allows for complete communication between the two pods, you can switch between three modes. First mode disguises the voice if you want to keep things nice and discreet, Second Mode allows you to talk naturally with your normal speaking voice if that’s what you prefer, and Mode Three shuts the coms off so your partner won’t be able to hear you. The panel also controls the lights in the room and the colors of the walls. So, what do you think? You wanna give it a go?” Your eyes pop open. “Excuse me?” You snap. The vendor laughs, “Not with me. Uh, whomever you’re here with, a content creator or boyfriend. We are offering testing for 60 percent off when you leave a review and refer a friend. We completely sanitize the room after every use, although you’d be the first using it tonight if you sign up and there are also UV lights in the room, constantly killing germs. We are quite popular at parties. I can always give you my card if you aren’t interested now. I know it’s a lot of information.”

Gloss: Where are you? Please don’t tell me you got cold feet.

You look down at the message, your heart fluttering, hearing Hobi’s voice in your head, ‘Be brave.’ “You know what, I think I am interested in trying it now.” “Great!” The vendor smiles, leading you over to the table to set up your payment. You swipe your card and send Gloss a text.

Yoongi:

Goddess: Meet me by the Giant Blue Pods, ask for Marcus.

Yoongi sighs, walking quickly towards the back of the showroom. He soon sees the giant blue pods and begins to look around for Y/N. “Are you Gloss?” A man approaches. “Uh, Yeah. Are you Marcus?” “Yeah,” The man sticks his hand out for Yoongi to shake. Yoongi shakes it, puzzled when Marcus turns his hand over to admire it. Yoongi’s brow furrows and he pulls his hand back. “Sorry man, I heard a lot about your hands.” “Uh, ok. Thanks, I think.” “Definitely a compliment. Anyway, you aren’t here for me. Right this way.” Marcus states, leading Yoongi towards the door on the left. “I don’t understand. I am supposed to be meeting someone.” Yoongi explains. “I know. Panel on the wall controls the coms. First mode is to disguise your voice, second comp is to speak naturally, Third shuts coms off completely. Otherwise, just have fun.” Marcus opens the door and Yoongi enters it, hearing the lock click once inside. “Welcome Gloss.” The Pod speaks causing Yoongi to jump back. “It’s me, Goddess.” Yoongi removes his mask, walking toward the panel on the wall and clicking on the first mode to disguise his voice. “What’s all this about?” He asks. Looking around at how the room lights up pink and blue when she giggles. “I was nervous to see you face to face so I figured this was easier.” He nods, running his fingers along the wall, jumping back when he sees it light up red. “Cool right?” She laughs. “What is this thing? A confessional?” He moves about the empty room. “It’s a modern-day Glory Hole.” She giggles, Yoongi smiling when the room lights up with her laugh.

“Are you serious?” “Sure am.” “And what exactly are we doing in a Glory Hole?” She giggles again. “I wanted to be able to speak freely but I was super nervous for some reason, silly I know, and since I know how much your anonymity means to you, I figure this was the best option. Besides, you never did show me your cock.” Yoongi laughs now, the room lighting up orange and red. “Did you set these lights up?” “I did, do you like it? I can change it or you can with the panel on the wall. I was waiting for you so I had to time to play with the settings.” “And the wall, it lights up too.” He inquires, moving towards the wall and placing his palm against it, a ring of red burst from beneath it. “Yeah, every time we touch it.” She explains, a burst of pink light emerging from beneath Yoongi’s palm which leads him to believe she is pressing her palm against his. “I want to see you. I have to talk to you face to face.” Yoongi swallows, dropping his hand. “We aren’t face to face but feel free to talk.” “Its better if we are face to face.” “I want you Gloss.” Yoongi scoffs. “You don’t even know me.” “Of course, I do and I’ve never been more attracted to someone in my life.” Yoongi scoffs at her comment, his heart nearly breaking at the thought that he’s lost Y/N to Gloss, an alter ego. “You really don’t.” “Don’t you want me?” She practically moans, causing Yoongi’s cock to twitch. “Of course I do.” He whispers, pressing his hands against the wall, smirking when the red bursts of light shoot out.

The machine makes a sudden whirring sound and Yoongi gasps at the sudden feeling of a hand on his crotch. He looks down to see a square opening in the wall, Y/N’s hand poked through rubbing at his growing erection. “Fuck.” He moans, pressing his crotch into her palm. “Let me suck your cock, please Gloss. I want you so bad.” She moans. The lights in the room suddenly dim and Yoongi moves towards the panel to try to turn them back on, not sure what he’s clicked on. He sucks his teeth, fiddling with his belt buckle, pouting when he sees her hand disappear through the hole. He frees his cock from its confines and begins to stroke it, his head falling back. “How do we do this?” He asks but she doesn’t respond. “You still there?” Her voice comes through. “Yeah.” He grunts, slowing his strokes down. She doesn’t respond and he realizes he’s turned his coms off. “Shit, hold on.” He says, moving towards the panel. “I don’t know what happened but put your cock through the hole baby.” She says in the neediest voice and Yoongi clicks on the panel button quickly, moving towards the hole and sticking his cock through. He immediately feels her hot wet tongue glide across his slit and he moans out, pressing his body firmly against the wall, biting down on his lip as the room cascades blue. She swirls her tongue gently around his tip, teasingly taking him inch by inch into her warm mouth. Yoongi bites down harder on his lip, stifling back the moan in his throat.

She soon moans around his cock, sending shockwaves through out his core, a soft vibrating sound filling his pod. Yoongi can’t hold back anymore, a loud groan escaping when she begins to bob back forth across his full length. “Shit.” He cries out when she takes him to the back of her throat, the sounds of her gagging filling his pod. He reaches down and cups his balls, tugging on them as she begins to bob on his cock again, pull back to his tip, suckling at the sensitive head, eliciting an animal like sound from him. He slams his fist against the wall, a red flash bursting throughout the room. She removes her mouth from his length, gasping and moaning out loud, sending chills down his spine. “Fuck Goddess. You sound so fucking sexy.” “I don’t know if you can hear me,” She begins, “But I’m so fucking wet, gliding my pussy across this vibrating saddle. I wish I was wrapped around your cock.” “Fuck.” He groans, stretching his arm out to try and reach the coms panel to turn it back on first mode. He strains, unable to keep his cock in the hole and reach the panel. He contemplates removing his member from the hole to turn on the coms when Y/N takes his cock back in her mouth.

“Fucking shit.” He cries out, the feeling of her running her tongue along the sensitive skin beneath his tip. He strains once again to reach the panel, his middle finger tapping the panel, her groan filling his pod when his cock slides from her lips. “Sorry baby.” He pants, standing tall now. “Can you hear me now?” He asks but Y/N just slurps his cock back into her mouth, using nothing but her tongue and hollowed mouth to yank him back towards her, his body hitting the wall. “Shit, you take my cock so well. Such a good girl for me.” She begins to bob faster, the walls lighting up pink at what Yoongi assumes are her hands against the wall. She moans frantically against his cock, her pace only quickening and Yoongi wonders if she’s close to cumming. He closes his eyes, imaging what she looks like right now, gliding her sopping cunt across that saddle, his cock hitting her throat. He moans freely now, hitching his hips forward uncontrollably as he keeps pace with her. He bends his knees a bit when she begins to gag and swallow his cock down her throat. The sweet sensation of her soft palate rubbing against his tip. She moans harder, swallowing more and more of him, his legs begin to shake as his balls tighten into his body. “Fuck baby, you’re so fucking amazing. I’m going to fucking cum. Shit.” He moans unabashedly, slamming his fist hard against the wall to warn her, since he knows she can’t hear him.

Her moans are louder now and desperate, and Yoongi just knows she cumming, the feeling of her throat vibrating around his cock sending him over the edge. “Oh. My. Fucking. God. Y/N, fuck, I’m fucking cumming baby.” He cries out, slamming his hip against the wall, his cock nestled firmly in her throat as his orgasm shoots out from his tip, coating her throat. She swallows him back with ease, sucking him through his high, pulling away and lapping the last bits of his arousal off his tip. He presses his forehead against the wall, laughing when it lights up the room pink. He moves towards the coms to turn them back on as he tucks himself away. He squints at the panel, his heart dropping when he sees its on the Second Mode. “FUCK! Y/N!” He shouts, looking down to be sure his cock is away and yanking on the booth door until it clicks open. He moves towards the door where Y/N should be and yanks it open…. EMPTY. “FUCK!” Yoongi yells. Marcus approaching him. “Hey man, she ran out. Everything ok?” “Yeah,” Yoongi pants, “Did you see which way she went?” Marcus points towards the exit of the VIP showroom and Yoongi goes running after her. He sprints towards the exit, slamming into Hobi. “Hyung, what the fuck is going on?” Yoongi is panting, desperately trying to catch his breath. “I fucked up Hobi, she left. I fucked it all up, I’m so fucking stupid!” He yells. “Hey, hey. Calm down. Put your mask on, people are looking at us.” Hobi warns. Yoongi puts his mask on happily, warm tears streaming down his face. “I fucked it all up.” He whispers. “Calm down Hyung. Let me call her ok. See where she is.” Yoongi shakes his head trying to stop Hobi from making the call. “Hey where are you?” Hobi asks on speaker phone. “Of all the men who would break my heart Hoseok, I never thought it’d be you.” She says with briefly, hanging up the phone. “What the fuck did you do?” Hobi turns to Yoongi, his face flushed red, an anger Yoongi has yet to see.

[duchessfics]

Business and Pleasure Part 3

Billie x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): NSFW, Cunninlingus, Fingering, D/s Dynamics, Some Language

Summary: This is the first time seeing Billie since having sex with her, but how do you navigate your working obligations and your feelings for Billie? And does she even feel the same way or are you expendable? 

Word Count: 6210

A/n: Here’s part 3! I have a family gathering so if there’s errors I’m sorry! I’m trying to post this really fast. 😬 This one is less fluffy, but I still think it’s not too angsty. Definitely not as angsty as A Lasting Mark pt. 4. 😅 I hope you enjoy! 

Part 2

After having Saturday off, on Sunday morning you wake up at 7:00 in the morning to get ready for the day and find yourself putting a little more effort into your makeup and hair. It’s not that you didn’t before, but it feels different when you see a person who you like and realize the feelings are reciprocated.

By 8:00 you’re out the door and driving over to Billie’s house. However, on the way there you stop at a nearby Starbucks to get her usual order: a grande nitro cold brew in a venti cup with two shots of espresso, two pumps hazelnut syrup, one pump vanilla syrup, a splash of almond milk, and a light sprinkling of cinnamon on top. You just order an iced coffee with an extra shot of espresso to keep you going. But you’re not finished yet.

Next you drive to McDonalds and buy the medium’s guilty pleasure: a sausage biscuit with hash browns. There weren’t many details in the NDA you signed when hired by Billie, but one of them was not disclosing her favorite breakfast choice or how much she ate it.

After purchasing the items, you speed over to the medium’s house so the items are fresh and before you get out of the car, you put the sausage biscuit and hash browns into a Starbucks bag you specifically requested to partially conceal her meal of choice, leaving the discarded fast food bag in your car. Because you’re working today, you let yourself in and hear Billie speaking from the nearby sunroom.

So you walk to the room that’s always so sunny and warm because of the expansive windows that span from floor to ceiling along the length of one of the walls. This is one of your favorite rooms in Billie’s home because you can see her polished backyard and it never fails to impress anyone who sees this gorgeous view, including yourself.

Billie sits in one of her cushioned chairs facing the windows so the natural light illuminates her face while one person does her makeup and another person fixes her hair. When she sees you walking in, a smile forms on her lips making your cheeks warm.

Fuck. Keep cool. Just like you practiced: calm, cool and collected.

“Morning, sweetheart.” She greets you. You give her a smile back but try not to act out of the ordinary since there’s others around. It’s not like the stylists take much notice. They’re used to you being around and are busy working on Billie. But honestly…you want to tread carefully. You sport a polite smile when you reply, “Good morning, Miss Howard. I got a small breakfast for you.” Then you hand her the coffee and paper bag with her food items.

That makes her eyes light up and she tells you, “Thank you.” letting her fingers linger on yours for a second longer than necessary. Before you can get too flustered you back up take out your legal pad filled with notes from your tote bag and say, “While you eat and get your hair and makeup done, I can tell you what to expect for the interview.” After finishing your sentence, you glance up and she says, “Go on.” Waving her hand as an emphasis.

You look to your notes and try to hide how your hands tremble in nerves. It feels like it’s your first day with her all over again. Then you clear your throat and begin, “The person interviewing you will be Robin Harker. She works in the television and film section of the New York Times and has interviewed Jennifer Aniston and Chris Evans in the past year.”

You venture to look up again and her response is to nod you on with a casual smile while throwing her hash brown packet in the bag.

What did you expect? For her to drop everything and proclaim her love for you? Get real. This is Hollywood.

So you continue with your notes, “I read through those interviews to get an idea of what to expect for questions and came up with some possibilities.”

“In both interviews she asked about how they got started and I’m sure she’ll ask you too. A couple ideas for responses are to explain the first time you saw an apparition and what that felt like. Or you could explain what inspired you to start a TV show documenting something so intimate. Those reading won’t be interested in the production details of a tv show. Something that will keep their attention is reading about the phenomenon of capturing the paranormal on camera. Sensory terms always keep people interested.

“I would also expect a question about what a typical day on you tv show is like. People will want to know things like if you see ghosts every day, how you prepare and protect yourself, and what happens after the cameras shut off. Basically, how you decompress. My suggestion would be to use more general terms. Crystals and stones are very popular at the moment so you could mention that. On the other hand, I would stay away from talking about essential oils, perhaps choosing incense or sage instead. There could also be a certain tea you drink or a bath product you use. 

“I don’t mean to repeat myself, but the key is incorporating the five senses. For example, with your white light of protection you could explain how that feels both physically and mentally. Maybe you feel an electricity to it. The reader wants to feel a special connection and resonate with your words. The happy middle is sounding exclusive enough to stand out, but also relatable.”

You pause for a moment, knowing this is a lot. But this time you don’t look up before speaking, 

“I promise I’m almost done. The final thing I would expect is a question about the validity of communicating with the paranormal. Rather than trying to reason with science, it will be more effective to take the angle of how much we don’t know. And how the concept of communicating with ancestors or non-human beings is not new and has been around that for thousands if not millions of years. You’re just using the tools available in the 21st century to provide insight and more information.

“There is also a chance that she’ll mention the influx of phony mediums out to make money on people’s grief. But if you bring up the large amount of people who claim to be doctors, psychologists, lawyers, and other professionals and base their knowledge off of google searches it should be sufficient. You can also remind her that viewers can take as much or as little as they want from the show. But don’t put it on them too much. People don’t like being blamed even if it’s the truth.”

You take a deep breath and pause a moment before slowly asking, “Does that make sense?” When you look up from your notes her face is partially obscured by the make up artist applying finishing touches. But she hesitantly replies, “I think so.” You back up a little to keep out of the way and assure her, “In case you forget something, I put the basics of what I said on a couple of post-it notes.”

Right away the medium lets out a sigh of relief and tells you, “Oh, thank you, sweetheart.” Your body warms at the praise and you’re glad you don’t have to look at her directly in this moment. Instead you calmly reply, “You’re welcome. I’ll plug in an extension cord with your charger so there won’t be a risk of your computer shutting down. And I’ll set up the post-it notes so you’ll be ready to go.”

When you begin to walk away, you hear Billie praise, “You really are an angel.” You smile and look back to thank her. However, it feels like a punch to your gut when you see she looks at her reflection and speaks to the makeup artist.

Shit. That hurt more than it should. You should’ve never done anything. There’s a reason for professional boundaries.

Before anyone can take notice, you step over to the formal sitting room that’s set up to look casual without being used.

Fortunately, the laptop and table are already set up so you begin your search for an extension cord, a sun filter to make her look well-lit, her wireless headphones, a box of tissues, and a water bottle. Finding all of those items is a job in itself. Then you start to set up, placing the laptop so it’s able to keep connected to the charging cable and you use the laptop’s camera on yourself to find the best angle.

It’s much quicker to complete the tasks of setting the water bottle and tissue box nearby but out of frame. Next you place the sticky notes along the top border of her laptop screen, but not obscuring the camera. So if she needs to reference them, she won’t have to look down. 

Finally, you position the filter and set her fully charged wireless ear buds that are still in their case right beside the laptop’s keyboard. Once you’re finished you stand back to admire the set-up, feeling proud of yourself.

You may have screwed up in fucking your boss, but you’re a damn good assistant.

“Well look at this.”

You whip around and hate the fact that your heart flutters when you hear Billie’s voice. This time she’s alone and saunters up to you with a familiar smirk. Before you can make direct eye contact with her eyes and melt into a puddle of affection, you back up and gesture to the table while saying, “I think this should be everything you need.” She looks to the table and lets out a satisfied hum, but quickly returns her gaze to yours before purring, “I don’t know what I’d do without you, y/n.”

Then she moves to take your hand, but in your panic and self-preservation you back away, stammering, “I-I actually need to make a couple phone calls. And emails. Plus, I-I wouldn’t want to mess up your make up.”

For the first time you actually see her suave expression crack and you feel horrible right away. You know she needs to go into this interview feeling good, so you take both of her hands with your own and soothe, “I’m sorry, Billie. I didn’t mean to come off harsh. After this I’ll have lunch all ready for us to eat.”

Her lips return a half smile, but her brown eyes still flicker with doubt. So you continue and genuinely mean it when you say, “I know you’ll knock this interview out of the park. She’ll love you.” Then you place a light kiss to her cheek, taking care to not disrupt her makeup.

By now her confident demeanor is restored and you ask, “Do you need anything else before the interview?” She smirks and lowly teases while squeezing your hands, “I can think of a couple things, but we wouldn’t have the time.” You roll your eyes at the comment, but smile and ask, “Well would you like anything specific for lunch?” 

Billie pauses for a moment before answering, “I’ll take some…Mexican food. I’ll say a taco salad.” You nod and tell her, “One taco salad will be out there for you when you’re done.” Then you release her hands and say, “I have your phone so there won’t be any interruptions, but if you need anything at all I have your messages set up on your laptop. And I told housekeeping to not do anything too loud or come around to clean this part of the house for the next two hours. So you should be good to go.”

Her eyebrows raise and she comments, “You’ve really thought about everything, haven’t you?” The compliment makes you look down and stammer, “Well I—I try to.” She chuckles at your bashful demeanor and murmurs, “I should thank you for getting all of this ready for me, sweetheart.” 

You dare to look at her face and reply, “I’m just doing my job. But I’m glad you’re happy with it. I’ll see you at lunch.” Then you wish her luck one more time before walking out. After closing the door, you lean back against it, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath to re-center yourself.

Stop overthinking this. Pull yourself together and move on. You can look for another client after these two weeks. That’s it and you can make it two weeks. You’ve got this. You can handle anything for two weeks…

An hour and a half later Billie enters the kitchen to see you setting up her requested lunch with a freshly made strawberry lemonade to drink. She struts over and takes a seat at the island while saying, “Thank god. I’m starving.” You smile at her hyperbolic statement and watch her begin to eat. Then you return to your seat at the island next to the blonde to finish the remnants of your burrito.

Not wanting to stir up anything between you two, you ask, “Did the interview go alright?” She nods and replies after swallowing her bite, “It went exactly as your notes said. Of course there were some additional questions, but they were manageable.” Then the medium turns to face you and teases with grin, “It’s almost like you know what you’re doing.”

Your cheeks warm at the compliment and you look down to your plate, resting your chin on one of your hands as you twirl your fork in the remnants and murmur, “I only write down some tips. It’s your charisma that makes it good.” Billie chuckles and comments, “We make a good team.” For a moment you still your movements and glance at her out of the corner of your eye. But she’s looking to her salad. However, her gaze meets yours and she compliments, “Your hair and makeup look good today, sweetheart.”

She noticed. Billie Dean Howard noticed.

You can’t contain your smile but look back down to your plate before meekly saying, “Thank you.”

Billie continues to eat her meal while you throw away your takeout plate and utensils. Then you empty the clean dishes out of the dishwasher. However she breaks the silence by asking, “Did anything come up while I was in the interview?” You shake your head, finishing up as you respond, “Nothing for you to worry about. Just some requests for you to promote different products or companies.”

So she picks up her halfway finished beverage and tells you, “In that case I’m going to start packing things. But I’ll have my phone on me if you need me.” You automatically nod and try to conceal the crack in your voice when you reply, “Of course. And don’t worry about your trash. I’ve got it covered.” The blonde gives you her devastating smile and purrs, “You’re the best.” The butterflies in your stomach make a reappearance and you shyly tell her thank you before she steps out of the room.

After making sure she’s gone you let out a breath and lose the façade of being perfectly okay with everything. You try not to take it personally, but her distance affects your replies to phone calls and emails you respond to. Of course, you don’t sound upset or disgruntled. You remain professional, but don’t have the zeal and passion you usually have.

By late afternoon, you’ve contacted everyone who contacted you on her behalf. So you go onto google and search for PA openings. If nothing else you can leave at the height of her tv premier and make a clean break. However, before you can get to the second page, Billie texts you, “Could you come upstairs to my bedroom for a minute?”

Knowing her needs are your first priority, you exit out of the website and quickly reply, “Of course. Headed there now.” Then you trudge up the stairs, trying not to have any expectations.

When you enter her bedroom, she has numerous different clothing items laid out on the bed and you hear her rustling around in her massive closet that’s a room in itself. But she must hear you enter because she walks into the main room and says with a smile, “Y/n, just who I wanted to see.”

She sets the clothes that were draped over her arm onto the bed as she says, “I need some advice.” You step a little closer and reply, “I’ll try to help.” So she holds up one hanger that holds a silky, floral blouse and another that has a simple ivory undershirt with a dusty pink cardigan over it. Then she looks to you and asks, “Which one do you think looks better?”

You bite your lip and look between the tops, hoping this isn’t a test. Then you slowly answer, “I think they both look good…but the cardigan and shirt would be more conducive to the cooler temperatures in New York.” Billie grins and takes your advice right away, setting it next to her suitcase, however you hold up your hands and tell her, “Wait, I’m no fashion expert or anything. I can call your stylist to come over.” 

The blonde chuckles and purrs, “Sweetheart, the only opinion I care about is yours. Now help me out with these other shirt options.”

The choices start off innocent enough, but soon she’s having you choose her sleepwear and intimates. While the whole thing feels a little arousing, you keep to the other side of her California king bed trying to be extra cautious. But she foils that plan by suggesting, “How about I try these dresses on and you can tell me which one looks better.” That makes you pause, but you can’t deny your curiosity to see her after she’s seen all of you.

And if she really didn’t want you to see her, she could change in her bathroom or closet.

So you nod and rasp with your suddenly dry throat, “Ok.” But her smile grows, and she asks in a voice dripping with innocence, “Y/n, would you be a dear and unzip me?”

You know exactly what she’s doing. But are you really upset? You’re finally getting what you’ve wanted since this morning.

At this point your throat feels too dry to speak so you dumbly nod and walk over to her side.

The medium’s eyes sparkle in lust and mischief when she purrs, “Thank you, sweetheart.” Then she turns so her back is to you and you walk up, feeling like you’re in a trance as so many emotions run through you at once.

The first thing you do is gather her silky smooth hair in your hand and drape it over one of her shoulders so most of it is out of the way, save for a few stray curls. Immediately her jasmine perfume envelops you and she doesn’t miss your deep inhale of the intoxicatingly sweet fragrance. Then your trembling fingers come up to the top of her dress and you take the zipper between your thumb and pointer finger, struggling to keep a grip of it with your shaky hands.

The room is quiet enough to hear the zipper slide down the back of her dress, stopping at the small of her back. You look to the well-endowed swell of her ass but flick your eyes up before she can catch you. 

Billie twists her head to look back at you and once again your faces are inches apart from each other. Rather than saying anything, she leans towards you with hooded eyes and presses a light, questioning kiss. Then her eyes look to see your reaction and you reciprocate, slowly brushing your lips against hers.

Both of you move slowly while Billie fully turns around to face you and places her hands on the small of your back. The way you both take your time cautiously opening up to each other makes it seem like it’s your first kiss. But it feels nice to slow down and savor the moment. 

This time when you smooth your hands up the exposed skin of her back she doesn’t protest. Rather she presses up against your body even more to get closer. So you work on the clasp of her bra and somehow undo on the first try.

Your lips part from each other and she helps you shrug off her dress and bra so the only items she wears are her panties and her pearl necklace. You pause and look over every part, trying to take in every detail. Meanwhile the blonde just smiles and tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear while crooning, “You like what you see, sweetheart?” Your eyes scan up her toned middle, briefly pausing at her rounded, perky breasts, before ascending past the string of pearls on her neck to her proud face.

You’re practically drooling when you whimper, “Yes. Billie you look…god you look perfect.” Her cheeks threaten to turn red while her smile expands and she murmurs, “Just like you do.”

Automatically you shake your head and look down so your hair falls forward to guard your face. But her hands cup your face and guide you to look back at her. Her palms feel smooth against the sides of your face when she kisses your lips and affirms, “You are perfect, honey. Now, how about you make yourself more comfortable and take off those clothes for me.”

In the far reaches of your mind, the thought of confronting her about everything passes through. But Billie Dean Howard is here, completely exposed to you and you don’t want to stop.

Your eyes flick down and you grin as you reply, “O-ok.” So she backs up to let you pull off your shirt and bra. But when you move close, she places a finger on your sternum in the valley between your breasts and says, “Ah, ah, ah, pants too.” You bite your lip to conceal your demure smile, ducking your head as you tug your pants down. After kicking them aside you come back up to the medium and being to kiss her again.

While it felt nice to kiss Billie the other day, actually feeling her flesh brush and meld against yours makes it even better. Every time you think you’ve peaked; she takes you higher than before. When you break to catch your breath, Billie breathes, “Where do you want me, sweetheart?” 

Your brows furrow and she grins before asking the same question. The thought of ordering her around sends a thrill through you and you look around the room before hesitantly saying, “On the edge of the bed.” The medium nods and playfully answers with a wicked grin, “Yes, mistress.”

Now that makes you laugh and tell her, “If anyone is a mistress it’s you.” You move her clothes that were laid out on the bed to the side so they won’t get in the way and the blonde helps while teasing, “I’ll grant you the title of mistress for one day.”

Without thinking you roll your eyes at the supposed ‘generosity,’ making Billie raise her eyebrow and say, “Unless you don’t want to do this?” You place your hands on her shoulders and push her to sit on the bed while quickly answering, “I do!”

Your intense reaction makes her chuckle and purr, “Well your wish is my command, sweetheart.” Your body simmers with arousal and you guide her legs apart enough to step between them. Then you look down at Billie’s face and your hands come up to cup her face. In response she slides her hands up to rest on the swell of your hips. 

However, you raise your eyebrow and mimic her when you ask, “Did I give you permission to touch me?” Billie takes her hands away and looks up to you through her long lashes when she says, “Sorry, mistress.” Letting her lower lip jut out enough to give a perfect pout before biting down on it. The way she worries her lower lip drives you wild.

But you want to tease her more. Why not take this opportunity all the way?

So you lean in to kiss her lips, but when she leans up to meet you, you back up to kiss the tip of her nose.

Her darkened eyes glow and the blonde chuckles before murmuring, “Such a tease, y/n.” That makes you giggle and this time when you lean down to kiss her, you meet her desired location. And even though your lips and tongues intertwine with each other, Billie stays true to her word and lets you lead her along. So you keep going, and don’t move her hands back when she smooths them up your thighs and pulls you closer to her after gripping your hips.

For once she’s the one who gasps for air and you take the opportunity to place slow, deliberate kisses along her jawline down to her neck. Your lips gently kiss and suck at the delicate skin of her neck, but pause when Billie moans, “Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart, this feels amazing. But I don’t know if the makeup artist will appreciate having to cover multiple hickeys for filming tomorrow.”

On no. You completely forgot about that.

You automatically back up and stammer, “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Billie. I never even though about that.” She silences you with a kiss and soothes, “It’s ok, sweetheart.” But the medium can tell you’re pulled out of the immersion so her thumbs brush along the swell of your hips and she purrs with a smile, “Now what do you want me to do, mistress?” 

Her reassuring smile makes you smile and respond, “Stay.” Then you gently kiss down her neck to her collarbone. Along the way your lips brush against her pearl necklace, but when she moves to take it off you command, “No.” Her eyebrows raise, but she grins and answers, “Yes mistress.” Those words send shivers down your spine and by the low hum of amusement emitted from her throat you can tell she knows.

Then you resume your descent starting at her collarbones down to the swell of her luscious breasts. The medium gasps when you take one of her nipples in your mouth and tease her by sucking and nibbling at her sensitive bud. You look up to her face to see she closely watches you use your mouth on her one nipple while you tease the other with your fingers. 

Then you switch sides and by the time you’re finished with her buds they are peaked and stiff. The sound of breathy moans and whimpers is unfamiliar to your ears, but progressively gets louder when you continue down to her navel. After teasing it with your tongue enough to make her gasp, you back up and pull off her lacy, cream-colored thong.

Once the garment is cast aside you take a moment to look at her most intimate area practically dripping with arousal. Then you look up to Billie with wide eyes and your mouth slightly gaped in shock. Before you can ask, she smiles and croons, “That’s all for you, baby.”

That’s all you. She gets that aroused because of you.

Your eyes gloss over with a concoction of happiness and unbridled lust and rather than taking the time to instruct, you grasp her legs and place them over your shoulders. Then you lean close and inhale her sweetness before delving your tongue into her velvety folds.

Her muscled calves flex against your back and she moans, “Oh god.” as your mouth sucks and licks at every part of her. But she lets out a guttural moan when you find her clit. Her low sounds of pleasure go straight to your own soaked pussy and you can’t help but squeeze your thighs in need. You look up to her face while you continue to tease her sensitive pearl and see she watches you with lust-blown eyes and her lower lip worried between her teeth. 

You grin and back away before taunting, “Now don’t hold back, Billie. I want to hear all of those pretty little sounds you make.” That makes the blonde toss her head back in laughter before breathily praising, “Wow, you’re pretty good at this whole dominatrix role.” Even now her praise drives you wild. You grin up at her and reply, “I learned from the best.” Before diving back in.

This time her head falls back for an entirely different reason and she groans, “Fuck, sweetheart, that feels so good.” Her words make your stomach warm in arousal and you increase your movements driven by her praises in words and moans of pleasure.

Before long Billie crosses her ankles behind your back, effectively pulling you close to her pussy and unable to back up like before. But you couldn’t care less. Eating her out feels like everything you want and more. Your mouth mercilessly sucks and nips at her sensitive nub and she whimpers in a higher tone than even her regular tone, “Just like that, baby. I’m almost there.”

You happily listen to her request and within a minute her legs lock up, keeping you in a vice-like grip while she gasps. Then she cries out and unravels before your eyes, moaning and whimpering in a way that sounds like music to your ears while you lick up all of the sweet nectar she provides.

Before you get the chance to rile her up, she takes her legs off of you and scoots further back on the bed as she breathes, “C’mere sweetheart.” You whine at leaving her sweet core but listen and she guides you to straddle her lap so you face each other again.

You cross your legs behind the blonde so your ankles rest against the small of her back and wrap your arms around her neck before dipping your head to kiss Billie’s lips. She smiles against you and slides her hands up your back while kissing back, not afraid of getting a taste of herself. Even though you wished to remain buried in the juncture of her thighs a moment ago, being held close in her embrace as she takes your breath away is nowhere near a downgrade.

When you pause to catch your breath, you still keep your forehead down against hers and ask, “I take it you liked it?” She gives that warm chuckle that feels like an embrace in itself and purrs, “Oh I loved it, sweetheart.” Then you let out a squeak of surprise at her hand sliding beneath the elastic band of your panties.

How did she sneak her hand around to your front without you even noticing?

Your small sound causes her to smirk and she says with a dramatically innocent voice, “Let’s see how you’re doing.” And that smirk on her lips morphs into a shit-eating grin when her fingers slide down to find your core practically dripping with slick.

Your hips roll of their own accord when the pads of her two fingers brush against your clit. The instinctual reaction prompts Billie’s eyebrows to raise and she begins to make torturously slow circles over your sensitive bud. Meanwhile your arms shift so your hands can grip her shoulders while whimpering, “I’m not going to last long.”

The blonde giggles at your claim and leans up to kiss your lips, gradually moving her hand faster. Then she gets closer so she’s right beside your ear when she murmurs, ‘Are you all worked up from telling me what to do?”

Oh, you are definitely not going to last long at all.

A gasp leaves your lips and you shift in her lap responding, “Yes.” Now she moves her fingers in a steady motion and purrs, “But I think you liked something else too. I think you liked licking my pussy until I came. Is that what’s got you all hot and bothered, sweetheart? Acting so dirty and eating me out has you nearly creaming yourself?” 

Her words prompt you to cry out, “Oh god, yes!” squeezing her shoulders and letting your head fall forward.

Her pearls feel cool against your perspiring forehead and her fingers speed up to the point of making you get those pre-orgasm twitches as Billie taunts, “Are you gonna cum, y/n?” Your eyes slam shut and you moan, “Yes!” 

However somewhere in the recesses of your mind you remember her comment about good girls and whip your head up to look at Billie before blurting out, “Wait! I mean, can I please cum Billie?” The golden flecks in her darkened orbs spark in approval and with a satisfied smirk she responds, “Good girl. Go ahead and cum for me, baby.”

Your eyes slam shut just before a burst of white light shows up and you desperately cling to the medium, toes curling as high-pitched moans and whimpers fall out of you.

This time your aftershocks pass sooner and when she withdraws her two coated fingers you watch her languidly suck off any remnants of your juices. You’re still in a daze when she asks, “Do you wanna know what you taste like?” 

Your brows furrow, but…you can’t deny that you are a little curious. And Billie had no problem indulging in herself. So you nod, albeit hesitantly. She chuckles at your timid behavior and teases, “I promise it’s good.” Then she takes your chin by her thumb and index finger to tilt your head down to meet her lips.

The taste has a tangy bite to it but also a subtle sweetness similar to the blonde, but not quite the same. Before you even realize it, your tongues are tangling with each other and your lips search and press for one another.

It feels so nice to be so close to Billie without all of the glitz and glamour. You’re together, unguarded, and sharing a passionate exchange for both parties. All that has stock in the world is you and her. However, eventually you have to breathe.

So you reluctantly break from her lips and come closer to tuck your head into the crook of her neck. At the same time your hands move to her back so you can hug her close. Her lips come down to rest on the crown of your head and you feel her lips curve into a smile. Then she shifts so her cheek rests against you, softly teasing, “I still need to try those dresses on.” 

However she makes no move to get up.

So you snuggle further in, tightening your arms and legs around her and murmur into her hair, “Pack the red one.” She chuckles and smoothes her hands along the length of your back while asking, “What about the other one?” 

You let out a sigh of contentment and bury your face further into the bend of her neck to conceal your embarrassment as you reply, “Than one looks good…But the red one…it’s flattering at all angles…and it hugs your form well…Trust me the red one will turn heads.”

She laughs and leans close to your ear when she murmurs, “I’ll pack it for you, baby.” Her voice immediately calms your nerves and you feel at home in her arms. After sitting in silence for a moment, you mumble against her neck, “What would you like for dinner?” 

She slides her hands down to grip your ass as she replies, “You.” And that provokes your higher-toned schoolgirl giggle. Then you say, “Ok besides that.” Her lips trail down the side of your face until she reaches your jawline and murmurs, “How about…Italian.”

You feel her hands massaging your butt and before things get too heated you ease into sitting up straight to see her brown eyes slowly scanning over you. But you cup her face with your hands and guide her to look at your face, saying, “I’ll get dinner ready and you can finish packing. Ok?” 

She grins and turns her face to kiss one of your palms before she teases, “As long as you can be dessert.” Then she moves further up to kiss the pulse point on your wrist and purrs, “And an evening snack.” Then she kisses the inside of your forearm, looking to you with a mischievous grin as she continues, “And a midnight treat.”

You shake your head at her behavior, but chuckle and respond, “Ok.” The medium smirks in victory and releases you from her hold. You slowly stand up, making sure to not lose your balance and throw on your clothes. 

Before you walk out, Billie takes your shoulder and turns you to face her. You look to her with a questioning gaze and she pecks your lips, but keeps close when she purrs, “I’ll see you in a bit. Oh, and be warned, my stamina is insatiable.” That makes you giggle, and you assure her, “I think I’m up for the challenge.” Then Billie releases you with a smile and you walk out to the kitchen, not regretting spending the night here whatsoever.

Tagged:  @marilynroselleprentiss, @saviorinsilk, @chokemepaulson, @versonstar, @find-me-a-constellation, @cordwliagoode, @psychobitchtess, @midnight-lestrange, @mysweetdelia, @venablesbitch, @peachesandlesbians, @nerdaroo, @cordeliafoxxe, @leskaksel, @lovelymspaulson, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @whatabluddymess​, @natasha-danvers​

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in later works!

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Death Do We Part (Part 12)

SSA Spin-off ✧ Jason Todd ✧ Physical Link ✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5 ✧ 6 ✧ 7 ✧ 8 ✧ 9 ✧ 10 ✧ 11 ✧ 12 ✧ 13 ✧ 14 ✧ 15 ✧ Notes: We are close to the end! This series was supposed to be just 6k words max. What happened?!? It’s a novella! Words: 2,300+

     Jason kisses you again, holding on to your face, and then grudgingly lets you go. He lies on the couch with his hand draped over his eyes as you gather your clothes and get dressed. You kneel beside his head and say his name.

     “I can’t, Y/N-- If I see you, I won’t have it in me to let you walk out of here.”

     So you kiss his cheeks with quivering lips and your tears warm his skin before you leave the Todds’ old apartment.

    A block away from the safe house, Dick is already standing at the corner glaring at you with his arms crossed. Jason’s touch is still lingering on your skin, making you carefree so you giggle.

    Dick is not amused. “Where have you been?”

    “Out,” you retort and pass him quickly before he can stop you. You can feel him glaring at your back as you walk into the safehouse. When you open the door, all the giddiness leaves you as you realize the yelling has already started long before you arrived.

    “-- master Bruce! What will?” Alfred is towering over a cowl-less Batman that’s leaning against the counter. Alfred quickly shifts his attention to you, making Bruce turn around as well. “Where in the world have you been, young lady?” Dick crosses his arms behind you. “And you, too! What are you doing bringing her with you into the middle of this madness!”

    “What-- She wasn’t with me--”

    “I told you, Alfred! She opened my wound and left on her own.” Tim is peering over the couch. He glares at you.

    Defiant and still feeling the rush of being with Jason, you glare back and narrow your eyes at Tim. “I was looking for the Red Hood.” You turn to Dick this time who’s walking around so he can urge Alfred to sit down. “I knew where he was going and I needed to confirm it--”

    “You’re not part of this mission, Y/N.” Bruce interrupts you. “You don’t just go out on your own and blindly chase leads--”

    You interrupt him with clenched fists by your side, not being with Jason at the moment suddenly reminds you of how Bruce’s existence has been a plague in your lives, “Who made you the law?” You can only guess that Tim and Dick’s eyes are staring wide and glued to you but you’re too busy trying to return Bruce’s piercing gaze. “Just because you’re Batman? Dick didn’t listen to you either!”

    “Woah there. Bruce didn’t exactly tell me I couldn’t go out last night.”

    “It was implied, Dick. You, me, and Y/N were supposed to stay here with Alfred.”

    “The Red Hood is dangerous. He would’ve killed you on the spot--”

    “No, Bruce! He wouldn’t--”

    “Bruce is right, Y/N.”

    “Dick, if you just listen--”

    “ENOUGH!”

    Alfred stands while heaving in loud breaths even as his legs shake from exhaustion and frustration. “You are all unreasonable human beings! Every single one of you has a death wish! All the crime and the bad guys will continue to be there every single night! Just one night--” Alfred grits his teeth and raises a finger in front of Bruce’s stunned face, “One night was all I asked, master Bruce. All I’ve ever asked.”

    He stares at Bruce before he speaks again with less volume but still delivered as a reprimand, “Your family almost died yesterday and your response was to leave us and go back out there. Why? Because it makes you feel useful? Like you’re actively doing something instead of sitting around, hashing the trauma that your family just went through?”

    Bruce’s lips quiver before he looks down and hides his face from all of you. “We need you here--” Alfred’s voice breaks and you couldn’t keep watching him stand alone. You embrace him and let him use you as his support. His hands quickly clutch onto your shoulders. He looks at you and slowly brushes your hair.

    Softly he says, “Master Jason may have risen from the dead but let us not forget he died on the job... Or we will be mourning another one of you so soon.”

    The silence in the room feels like an anvil slowly getting heavier on your shoulders. You tighten your hold on Alfred and look into his grey old eyes with desperation before you whisper, “Jason is the Red Hood.”

    You watch as Alfred’s eyes slowly widen. “What?”

    “He was waiting for me at their old apartment-- he was tending to his wound--” you show them your wounded hand and look at Bruce, “Something you threw.”

    Bruce quickly recalls the batarang he aimed at the Red Hood’s hand. You watch the recognition dawn on Bruce’s face. Then there’s a quick myriad of emotions ranging from shock, guilt, sadness, and confusion.

    Dick’s eyes are wide and he’s the only one staring at your neck. “Ohmygod. Is that a hickey?” You immediately slap your hand on your neck as everyone looks at your neck. “You-- with-- Jason!”

    “I d-don’t think that’s really anyone’s business right now,” you say quickly. Your cheeks are flushed and you can feel Alfred’s grip on you tighten.

    He’s looking at you with a gloss over his eyes and you can see the hundreds of questions he wants to ask you. Where is he now? Is he okay? Does he still remember me? But Bruce beat him to it.

    “How-- How is he?”

    You don’t expect Bruce to stutter, to sound hesitant and eager at the same time. You finally realize that you’re their only tie to Jason right now, Jason who they last saw as a corpse in a casket.

    Before you could give any answer, Dick pipes up with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen. “What are we waiting for! Let’s drag that boy back here and ask him ourselves.”

    “Wait,” you call out. You stare at the floor as you brace yourself for what you’re about to say. Regrettably, you free yourself from Alfred’s hold and turn around. “Bruce. Jason is going after the Joker. He’s going to kill him.” You watch as Bruce’s eyes widen and his mouth hangs open. 

    He knows. Ever since he found out that Jason is alive, Bruce knows going after the Joker would be one of the first things on his son’s mind. And then ask him why he hasn’t done it.

     But all this time, Bruce has been living in a fantasy where he would find Jason before that. So he can take him home, apologize to his son, and make him feel safe again.

    “I think you should let him.”

    Bruce’s face quickly clams up. He glares at you with purse lips. Then answers you through his clenched teeth. “Do you hear yourself?” 

    “He won’t stop.”

    “You want Jason to be a murderer.”

    “I don’t like it any more than you do! But as someone who’s been through what he has, I can understand why he wants to be the murderer instead of being murdered this time around.”

    Bruce's eyes narrow as he stands in front of you. “It won’t happen. I am not going to let the Joker-- or anyone go after him again.”

    You don’t back down. “You can’t promise that. Bruce, we were just attacked-- not just me and Alfred but Dick and Tim, too-- with you!” You close the gap and place a hand on his shoulder. With effort, you lower your voice, “You can’t always protect us, Bruce. Maybe Jason’s way--”

    Bruce takes your hand off his shoulder and starts putting on his cowl. “Stay here. Stay with Alfred and monitor.” You’re shaking your head but he won’t look at you anymore. “If you feel anything--”

    “Bruce, stop--”

    He grits his teeth.

    “Either help me stop this or go to him, Y/N.���

    Silence permeates the distance between you. You stare at the broad shoulders of the man who saved you from your grave. The man who took you into his home without questions or strings, and made you feel safe. The man who won’t even look at you right now.

    Dick steps up, “Woah, Bruce--”

    “You’re asking me to choose between you and Jason.” Your voice rings out and echoes in their ears. That is what he’s saying, right? Either you help him or you’re helping Jason.

    “If you’re not here to help us, why did you come back?”

    You grimace as you look away.  “I thought we were a family. I thought… ” you whisper, not loud enough for the walls to hear. When you hear him open the door, you speak louder, “Why didn’t you kill the Joker?” He stops but he doesn’t turn around. You watch his grip loosen on the handle but he still doesn’t look at you. “You don’t need to answer me. But you should at least prepare yourself when Jason asks you that.”

    “That’s enough. Please,” Alfred grips your shoulders and you find that you’re the one who feels more stable in his hold. “One day. Missions and murders aside, can we please just have a day to breathe--” Alfred’s sudden pause grabs everyone’s attention. You watch his eyes sweep the open area of the safehouse before he stares at Bruce with widely terrified eyes and speaks in a small voice, “Where on Earth is master Tim?”

    Bruce and Dick spend the whole day searching for Tim at his usual spots but never found him. You and Alfred stay at the safehouse and watch all of the surveillance footage you have access to. The first thing you find out is that Tim had gotten up after Dick pointed out the kiss marks on your neck. He then walked out the door when Dick talked about bringing Jason back. He left silently and hasn’t returned.

    “Maybe he’s just letting off some steam,” Dick says reassuringly as he and Bruce drive to Arkham Asylum in the dead of the night. “You know because of…” he points to his neck.

    “I can hear you and I can see you,” you say as you watch their feed.

    “Or Jason could have taken him,” Bruce answers as they cross the bridge to Arkham. At the end of it, a lone figure stands in their way and they stop slowly.

    Dick whistles, “Even though I know he’s our Jason, I still can’t believe it-- He used to be so small and scrawny--”

    “Focus.”

    As their engine stops, a sea of shadows slowly emerge from the fog of the darkness behind the Red Hood. You watch on the edge of your seat as you take in the amount of manpower Jason has gathered in a manner of weeks? Months? How long has he been planning this?

     “Sorry, Batman! This part of the city’s closed for the day! Public execution and all!” Jason’s unmistakable voice filters through the feed.

    Alfred grips your arm, not wanting to believe that the boy he’s raised is the one he’s seeing. “Y/N.” He doesn’t know what to ask you. He doesn’t know what he wants. So you hold his arm and brace yourself.

    You don’t know anything either. This isn’t the Jason you were with this morning. He’s not the one that brushed your tears away with his thumb or kissed your forehead with shivering lips.

    You want to talk to him, ask him what he’s doing, what he’s planning. But you know that Jason’s senses are completely closed off to you right now. All of his focus will be on Bruce and the Joker tonight. You grip Alfred’s hands and feel yourself fall into the same feelings of uncertainty and nervousness.

    Who’s going to die tonight?

    “How do we do this, Bruce? It’s not like we can take Jason headon-- He’s connected to Y/N. We’ll hurt her.”

    Bruce keeps his eyes ahead, roaming the bridge. Suddenly a massive shadow is vaulting through the darkness over their heads until Bane’s figure breaks through the fog and lands between Jason and the batmobile.

    “Jason knows that more than anyone.” Bruce starts quickly supplying his suit with gears and throws some at Dick. “He got others to do the dirty work for him.”

    Dick’s too busy watching other familiar figures step out from the crowd. “Bane, Killer Croc, Clayface-- Son of a bitch! He’s got the big guns front and center.”

    “He’s vying for time. That means he hasn’t cracked the code to get into the Joker’s vault. Yet. Get ready.”

    With not enough time to comprehend what you’re watching, the feed to the batmobile gets cut off, leaving you and Alfred stunned and helpless, echoing your time in the cave just a night ago. Within the next second, it’s replaced with feeds from Batman and Nightwing’s masks.

    “EMP,” Dick calls out. “You guys good over there?”

    “We’re fine, master Dick.”

    You turn to Alfred hesitantly, “Won’t that-- What about their weapons?”

    Alfred shakes his head, “The car was made with Wayne tech while most of their gears were fashioned by master Bruce himself.” He sighs and stares at the screen, watching Bruce and Dick fight their way through the big three with the infantry of hired guns keeping them in the ring. “Master Jason knows that. So his main objective must have been to take the car out of the equation. Vastly decreasing their artillery.”

    You watch them take out a few of the thugs, only for Batman to be hit by Bane through all the confusion. He was plowing through the hired guns just to get to Batman and you can clearly see the devilish grin on his face.

    Your voice almost breaks when you speak, turning away from the fight, “You don’t think he plans to--” you stop, not wanting to finish that thought. “I was with Jason and he didn’t seem... He even said sorry to you.”

    Alfred looks down at his wrinkled palms and slowly closes them, “If he wants to kill the Joker, I understand. But if master Jason kills or hurts--” He turns to you with an apologetic look, like he’s the one in the wrong here. “If he hurts them, I don’t know if I have it in me to ever forgive him, Y/N.” 

    You suddenly can’t meet Alfred’s eyes, as if you’ve played a part in Jason’s plans.

    “I see him! He’s headed for Arkham Asylum! Batman, I’ll give you an opening!”

    “What about you--”

    “I’ll be fine. Just--” You watch Nightwing take a hit from Killer Croc’s tail. He’s winded but he recovers mid-air and expertly lands on his feet. Batman hits Killer Croc with a jolt of electricity to slow him down before he could come after Nightwing again.

     As soon as Batman reaches him, Nightwing pushes him away and yells at him, “Just bring him back this time!” Batman stands still and Nightwing urges him to move. “Go!”

    You bite your lip as you watch Bruce leave Dick behind, fending for himself against Killer Croc and Clayface. You’ve never seen them handle this kind of fight before, this big and dangerous. You don’t know if Dick can handle those two on his own. You don’t know what Bruce will do when Jason kills the Joker. You don’t know if Jason has Tim. You don’t know anything.

✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5 ✧ 6 ✧ 7 ✧ 8 ✧ 9 ✧ 10 ✧ 11 ✧ 12 ✧ 13 ✧ 14 ✧ 15 ✧

✧ Watchtower Masterlist ✧

[army-of-mai-lovers]

Jet, Suki, Smellerbee, Haru pt 5

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

Suki and Haru spring into action. Haru starts Earthbending at the guy, and Suki gets in close enough that she can fight him with her fists

Jet and Smellerbee still can’t move. They’re shocked. 

Suki and Haru are both really capable fighters, but they’re playing fair, and Longshot isn’t

Because, like a true Freedom Fighter, Longshot is fighting dirty

Watching Longshot take down Suki and Haru snaps Jet and Smellerbee out of it, and they leap to their defense

Both of them are in a rage, but they’re still fighting somewhat carefully, trying to hurt Longshot as little as possible

Longshot’s not doing that. Longshot’s aiming to kill. 

As they’re fighting, Jet grunts out “Why are you fighting us? We’re your family!” 

Longshot pauses, just briefly, at that, and in that moment Smellerbee knocks him down. 

They help up Suki and Haru (who are both fine).

Longshot’s groaning on the floor, not saying anything coherent

When Jet and Smellerbee move to help him up, Suki and Haru try to stop them (which makes sense, seeing as that’s the guy who tried to kill them) and Jet and Smellerbee fill them in on the fact that this is Longshot. 

Suki’s still a little cautious of them helping out a known Dai Li agent, even knowing how Jet was brainwashed during his first run in with the Dai Li. She just doesn’t know if they can un-brainwash Longshot, and she’s not sure what the consequences of trying are. 

Haru has the same concerns as Suki, deep down, but he decides pretty quickly that the most important thing is that they at least try to help Longshot. 

Jet wants to help Longshot at any cost, but Smellerbee is unsure. She wasn’t even really expecting to find Longshot, and now that they know he’s been brainwashed and working for the Dai Li for over a year, she wishes they hadn’t. 

But the longer they stay down there, the more time they lose, and it’s pretty clear that neither Jet nor Haru will leave without Longshot, so she resigns herself to at least trying to help him. 

So they bring back a knocked-out Longshot to where they’ve been staying, and Suki and Smellerbee insist on taking precautions. They tie him up as quickly and efficiently as possible. 

Suki asks Haru if Toph ever taught him seismic sense, and when he says yes, a little, she asks him whether he can detect lies. 

When he says he can, Jet briefly thinks of the many, many times he ditched Haru because he “had already promised Smellerbee he was going to hang out with her.” But then he sets that aside, because they have way more important things to be worrying about and anyway, he’s sure that Haru doesn’t even remember

Haru remembers 

When Longshot wakes up, Haru starts questioning him. He doesn’t remember his name, where he comes from, or who Jet and Smellerbee are. When pressed, he keeps saying that his only purpose is to protect the people of Ba Sing Se. 

He doesn’t lie once. 

Jet taps Haru on the shoulder and tells him to stop the questioning, and looks at Longshot for a long time. He then very quietly starts telling this absolutely nonsense story about a man who played pai sho and fought spirits. 

Suki and Haru are so confused, but Smellerbee’s eyes widen in recognition.  

Longshot reacts extremely poorly to it, yelling at them to untie him, telling them that Long Feng will come for them, and Suki, Haru, and Smellerbee move to contain him further, but every time they do Jet holds up a hand to stop them and keeps going. 

And after a while, Longshot gets tired. He stops struggling and just listens to Jet for a while. Eventually, he falls asleep. 

Suki and Haru have been waiting for hours for Jet to explain what he was doing, but instead of explaining anything, he tells Smellerbee to untie Longshot, and together they carry him to the bed where Jet normally sleeps. 

And now, Suki and Haru are super confused. 

As Jet’s getting settled to sleep on the floor, he says that that used to be Longshot’s favorite bedtime story. Jet usually didn’t tell it all in one night, and he doesn’t ever remember Longshot hearing the end of it, but he did today. 

Haru just stares at him, and says that Jet should sleep in his bed, and he’ll sleep on the floor. Jet objects, and they get into an argument about it (quietly) before Suki throws up her hands and tells them that they can both sleep on the floor. 

She quickly settles onto Haru’s bed, which is far more comfortable than where she’s been sleeping, and starts snoring before either of them have the opportunity to object. 

When Suki wakes up early the next morning, she sees that Haru and Jet are cuddling, fast asleep, and smiles before going to make herself some tea. 

But there’s already a pot brewing. Longshot is already awake. 

They stare at each other for an uncomfortable amount of time, before Longshot clears his throat, and tells her that he’s sorry if he hurt her. 

Suki’s not sure how to respond, so she just sits down. Longshot pours her a cup of tea, and they sit together in complete silence. 

Some time later, Smellerbee wakes up and sees Longshot and Suki drinking tea and not speaking to each other, and asks Longshot if he remembers her. 

Longshot nods, tears falling down his face as he says that he had no excuse to hurt her and that he’s so sorry for leaving her. 

And he just keeps rambling about how sorry he is and Smellerbee runs over and hugs him. 

“It’s not your fault, Longshot. It never was.” 

When Jet and Haru wake up, Longshot hugs Jet really tightly, saying he never thought he’d see him again. Jet hugs him back, and for once, it seems like everything is going to be okay for them. 

They stay in the city for a few days to let Longshot regain his strength. It’s not enough, but by then whispers have started up of the Dai Li looking for someone who fits Longshot’s description, so they figure it’s time for them to get out of there. 

Jet and Haru have an actual conversation about their feelings for once in their lives, and Haru laughs for a good long while when Jet tells him that he thought he was into Suki. 

“I’m literally gay, Jet” “well I know that now-”

They hold hands a lot and, seeing how happy Jet looks, Smellerbee decides she’ll give it a week before she starts teasing them. 

(for her, that’s incredibly generous) 

Longshot’s so happy he could cry, to be around new friends and old, free to decide for himself what he wants for the first time in a long time. 

When they’re out of Ba Sing Se, Suki and Haru decide to set aside their own personal feelings on the subject and ask Jet, Smellerbee, and Longshot where they want to go. 

Smellerbee says she wants to go back to Kyoshi. Longshot says he wants to see Pipsqueak and Longshot and hash everything out with them, and then maybe stay for a while before going off to travel the world. 

Jet thinks back fondly to the dream he had, of all the Freedom Fighters staying on Kyoshi Island together, being a family again, just like old times. He knows that dream isn’t possible, and was never possible, but in trying to realize it, he did a lot of good. 

And even if his family is in a bunch of different places, they’re still his family, and they always will be, no matter where they are. 

~le end~ (for real this time) 

[write4tomorrow]

Husband and Wife (Part 2)

Word Count: 2562

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Summary: About a year after The Rise of Skywalker, peace in the galaxy is fragile. The Resistance is faced with new diplomatic problems as they try to maintain the peace. Trade routes are especially tricky and has forced Y/N to test her abilities as a negotiator. Due to tirelessly, negotiating with different planets and systems, Y/N has become the new face of peace and hope. Does this make General Poe Dameron jealous? 

Genre: Adventure / Fluff / Angst

Part 1      Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Epilogue (Complete)

Nix Altross needed more time. The Rebellion needed peace to prevail. You needed this trade deal to go well. Yet, nothing seemed to be going your way. The brief meeting with the farmers on Coruscant revealed that they already made up their minds: they were not interested in trading with other systems. 

“They were ready to sign a deal,” General Dameron was furious, “why are they suddenly uninterested?” He was pacing in the small rooms where you two would be spending the night. It had a small square dining area and a large window that looked over the city. You sat at the table, rubbing a small piece of paper between your gloved fingers. Distractedly, you watched General Dameron talk. He paced between his small bedroom and the shared living space and you were thankful that Connix had found a space that had separate sleeping quarters. On either end of the living space were the two small bedrooms, one for you to the right and one for the General to the left. BB8 came whirling out of General Dameron’s room. 

“I know!” General Dameron kicked the chair opposite you. BB8 rolled back defensively which did not go unnoticed by the General. He crouched down and gave his droid an apologetic pat. You knew the fury hadn’t left him. You could see that he was beginning to channel it elsewhere - a feeling you knew too well. 

“What do you have to say about all this?” General Dameron sat down on the floor next to his droid. For the first time since the meeting, he talked to you instead of at you. “You haven’t spoken since the meeting,” he said slowly. He was starting to realize that you the beginnings of a plan forming in your mind. 

“Read this,” you handed the slip of paper to the General, glad that he seemed more rational now. You watched him read the note and noticed every twitch in his brow and the way his mouth creased at the corners. 

“Where did you get this?” Poe read and reread the note. One of the farmers, the unofficial spokesperson for the group, had slipped you the note when he shook your hand goodbye. He was apologetic, but insisted that there be no more meetings. However, he palmed you the note and gave you a hopeful wink as he departed. Even with the gesture, you could sense the fear in the group. There was something wrong here. 

“The farmer gave it to me when he shook my hand,” you explained, “we should go.” The note was a brief apology and a location for a meeting place. The rendezvous was set for a few hours from now. 

“I’ll get my blaster and we’ll-” The General ready for action, almost itching for it. You silenced him with a wave of your hand. You were ready to do something too, but you knew what happened to people who rushed into things. This needed to be thought out. 

“We need to inform the Generals about what happened. At the very least, Nix needs to know that he doesn’t have much time to broker a deal with the outer rim bounty hunters.” You watch as General Dameron nods and pulls out his com. You do the same and the two of you set them flat against the table, sitting opposite of one another. 

Small, blue holograms of each of the generals flickered to life as they each picked up the signal. You noticed that Nix was the last to answer, but first to speak.

“I guess you’re not calling with good news,” Nix’s voice crackled over the com speaker. General Dameron shook his head.

“The farmers are refusing to negotiate. They gave y/n a note, though-” Dameron explained. He held up the note so everyone could read it. Nix became eerily still. 

“They’re scared of something,” you said after a moment, “we need to go to this meeting, but we cannot go as General Dameron and Y/F/N Y/L/N of the Resistance. We would draw too much attention with the extra security and off world clothes. We need to go undercover.” You kept your eyes on Nix, but you could tell General Dameron was watching you. 

“Y/N is right,” General Calrissian agreed, “I have a contact on Coruscant that can get you some clothes. Maybe this meeting can buy you some time for Altross. I don’t like that you have to go to this meeting with no security detail. You’ll have nothing but each other to watch your backs.”

“We’ll be find.” You and General Dameron say in unison. Nix almost flinched at that. 

“You two need to think of a cover,” Connix explained. Again, you and Dameron speak at once.

“Husband and Wife,” General Dameron says with a smile.

“Siblings.” You demand at the same time. Finn lets out a small laugh as your cheeks become warm. 

“I’m no spy,” Finn continues, “but when I was with the First Order, I know that intelligence considered people by themselves to be the most dangerous. People in pairs were also very suspicious unless, they were a couple. Especially a couple with children.” 

“Husband and wife, then!” General Dameron says all too happily. You knew that couples were less suspicious than siblings but you were hoping to avoid stepping into that role. 

“They have no kids.” Nix seemed just as opposed to the idea as you felt. Still, you knew that this job required stealth and caution and your comfort level wasn’t going to get in the way of security. 

“I’m going to be his very pregnant wife,” you say with a sigh. A mischievous twinkle glistens in Dameron’s eye and both Connix and Finn laugh at the thought you pregnant with Dameron’s child. Even Calrissian seemed to be amused by the idea. The only face on the coms that was not amused was Nix. His usually charming smile was as cold as ice and his glare was for you alone. 

“It’s settled then,” General Calrissian said, “I’ll have things delivered to you shortly.” All of the generals hung up their coms with a quick word of good luck. Nix was the last to hang up and spoke to General Dameron before leaving.

“You take care of her,” Nix nearly growled. You were about to interject but General Dameron nodded, respectfully.

“She’s in great hands, Altross. BB8 won’t let anything happen to her,” General Dameron hung up before Nix could say anything else. The General turned his attention to you. 

“Well, dear wife,” The General asked slowly, “what is the name of our first born?” You swatted at him and tried to hide your flustered smile. 

The next few hours were spent alone in your room. After hashing out some small details of your cover with the General, you decided to try napping. Really, you just wanted to be alone. Your com kept buzzing with messages from Nix. You ignored all of them but you felt guilty that Nix was worried about you. Instead of answering his messages, you turn on the tracking option on your com. This way, Nix will be able to see where you are and will know that you aren’t in trouble. It wasn’t as good as answering his messages but you decided to just lie down until you had to leave for the meeting. 

The only time you were disturbed was when the clothes arrived. They were simple farmers clothes. You wore a loose maternity dress and found that your outfit came complete with a swollen, stuffed belly. Wearing it, you felt ridiculous. As you tried waddling around the room, you made yourself smile. Even the General couldn’t hide his grin when he first saw you. 

“You’re leaving the gloves on?” Dameron asked as he strapped his blaster discreetly under his shirt. You had two strapped to either thigh and felt a little more secure. 

“Just the one blaster?” You chided. Dameron looked you over, as if searching for where you might hide your own weapons. 

“You think we’ll run into trouble, my dear?” Dameron asked. He was far too ready to play husband and wife. You wondered why he might be so comfortable with the role. 

“I have some informants on Coruscant,” you explained as you took a seat. The false belly was heavier than you expected. “There have been whispers the new weapons that are developed on this planet. There are corners of this galaxy that are weaponizing faster than the Resistance realizes. Just the other day Nix was telling me about an interrogation technique that involved making the victim believe they were losing their five senses. It’s incredibly painful to experience but leaves no scars behind. There is also a new machine that can erase someone’s memory. It’s also incredibly painful and slow. Most test subjects that live through it have some form of brain damage for the rest of their life. There is also-”

“I get it,” Dameron cuts you off, “I’ll go grab another blaster.” When he comes back he hands a scarf to you. 

“Thanks to all the negotiating you’ve been doing, your face is one of the most recognizable in the galaxy,” Dameron explains before you can ask, “wear this around the bottom half of your face and try to avoid eye contact with people.” Was he really giving you lessons on how to blend in? You are one of the best spies in the galaxy. Still, he takes the scarf and begins to tie it around you. His chest is almost touching your back and you can smell him as he moves behind you. Like the sound of his voice, Dameron smells warm. It makes you think of honey and pine and somewhere safe. Lost in the smell, you lean back into him. He paused for a moment. 

“Tired, y/n?” Dameron moved around to face you. He seems concerned and you were glad that he could not see your blush under the scarf. 

“I’m ready,” you answered simply. Dameron took your arm and began to escort you to the door. BB8 followed the two of you out with a strange chirp that maked Dameron smile. 

 Walking through the lower markets of Coruscant with Dameron wasn’t as taxing as you thought it would be. He was actually very charming. Along the way, he kept his arm intertwined with yours and pointed to different types of spice and local goods. He seemed to know everything about everything. Dameron even made up stories for some of the vendors as you walked past. 

“He’s actually a secret prince from two plannets over who was banished by his sister,” Dameron said as he pointed to an elderly vendor. 

“Why was he banished?” You had to speak louder than usual to be heard through the scarf and over the ruckus of the market. Still, you enjoyed playing along in Dameron’s game. 

“You can’t tell? He slept with his sister’s husband. It’s written all over his face!” You laugh and cling to Dameron a little tighter. He had managed to wring more laughter from your lips in the past hour than anyone had in the past few months. His laughter seemed to come easily too. He laughed when you laughed and, in some instances, seemed to laugh only because he had made you laugh. Being with Dameron was easy and you suddenly found that you were thankful that he was here with you. However, you had to keep reminding yourself that you were in the middle of your job; you couldn’t be too comfortable. 

“I’ve heard rumors about your gloves,” Dameron finally says slowly, “I hear you keep every secret you’ve ever stolen in those gloves.” You smile and hope that he didn’t notice your hands tense around his arm.

“That’s ridiculous, Poe,” you keep your eyes forward. 

“Just a style choice, then?” Dameron asked, but you knew he didn’t believe that. You glanced up at him and saw the gentle curiosity in his expression. Something about this General was welcoming. The little voice in your ear kept telling you, trust this one. 

“I’m not the best spy in the galaxy because I’ve never been caught,” you begin to explain, “during the war, the First Order found me. I was kept for weeks in captivity. At first, there was no physical torture. They kept me in a room that overloaded my senses: bright lights, loud and erratic noises, almost no food and freezing temperature. Then, when it was convenient for him, Kylo Ren came to interrogate me himself. With his lightsaber,” you gingerly slip one of your gloves off to reveal your hand, “Ren carved my arm until it was almost unusable. What good is a spy if they cannot pick pockets or write down secrets?” General Dameron took your exposed, scarred arm in his and stared at it. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking for words. 

“I was rescued,” you continued, “I gave up the name of an empty base which distracted Ren enough to leave me alone. The Resistance came for me. I spent months trying to relearn how to use my hands. I still cannot write like I used to. Because of this, I rely on my memory and what I hear. For the most part I’ve put the incident behind me, I’ve even forgiven Ben. I heard about his stand against Palpatine. I just… I can’t stand the sight of my arms.” You were surprised by how your voice sounded by the end of your explanation. It was soft and fragile, not the voice of a skilled negotiator or a confidant diplomat. You were even more surprised when Dameron brought your hand to his lips and silently slid your glove back on. 

“Will you wait right here for a minute?” Dameron asked with a small grin. Without waiting for you to answer he said, “There’s a small vendor we past that has the best molten cakes. I’m going to get a couple for us later.” You watched as Dameron quickly went back the way you came. His dark head of curly hair seemed to weave and bob elegantly through the crowd, it was entrancing. So much so, you didn’t notice the shadows moving behind you. 

“I’ve never heard that story before,” you turn around to find Nix standing in the shadows. He gives you a grin but the usual charm is replaced by a wolfish quality that leaves you unnerved. 

“You’re here,” you stammer, “did things on the outer rim…” you trail off as Nix levels a small blaster at your chest. He seems almost apologetic when you look back up at him... almost. He weaves his arm through yours like Dameron had done just moments ago. Only this time, you found no comfort from the touch. You didn’t understand and you looked over your shoulder for Dameron. Where was he?

Nix tisked as he began to pull you away from the crowded street. He lead you into a dark alley with the blaster tucked against your ribs. Neither of you said a word. Suddenly, Nix pushed you in front of him. 

“Don’t worry, hon,” Nix said with a sympathetic look, “It’s just set to stun.” 

As Nix pulled the trigger, the last thing you thought you heard was Dameron’s voice calling for you from somewhere far, far away.

Part 3

A/N: Part two, done! Thank you for reading part two!! This project has obviously turned into a chapter story and I am so excited to get the next three chapters out. Please let me know what you think!

[yougoodfahm]

I Won’t Say (I’m in Love) - 4/5

Part 4: Whiteboard Markers

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 5]

Pairing: Analogical (Virgil + Logan), background Royality (Patton + Roman, could be seen as either platonic or romantic)

Characters: Virgil, Logan, Roman, Patton, Janus, Remus

Warnings: none — lmk if I need to add any!

Summary: Patton and Roman plot how to get Logan and Virgil to admit their feelings for one another.

Wordcount: 1052 words

Read it on ao3!

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“Ok so, let’s get planning, Padre,” Roman said as he walked into Patton’s room and threw himself onto the bed where the other side was sitting and working on making some new friendship bracelets.

Patton nodded, grinning, and set aside his project to work on later. “I think we should focus on getting Logan to a place where he feels comfortable and confident enough to say how he feels, but I’m totally stuck on how to actually do that. What ideas do you have?”

“I have a few, but I’m not sure if they’d work,” Roman shrugged and conjured a large whiteboard next to them. “The first idea is that we could write a poem about Logan’s feelings for Virgil —making it seem like Logan wrote it— and leave it outside of Virgil’s room! Then, when he goes to talk to Logan about it, they’ll both be forced to talk about it and admit their undying love for one another!” He used a dark blue and a purple whiteboard marker to create overly complicated drawings of the hypothetical scenario.

Patton thought for a moment, then said, “No, I think that would be too easily found out and might cause more problems than it would solve. Plus, that would totally break Logan’s trust in us since we’d be giving up his secret before he’s ready. I think they should probably be the ones to actually do the talking about their own feelings.”

Roman tapped the capped end of one marker against his chin, mulling over Patton’s input for a moment before exclaiming, “Ok! I have a second idea!” Patton clapped his hands in excitement, and Roman continued. “We could push the two of them into a closet together and lock the door so that they have to be alone, and obviously that would lead to them admitting their feelings like in all the movies!” He sketched out the two sides getting trapped in the closet, and then drew a big heart around them.

“Hmm, I think that could freak Virgil out too much. Plus, they could easily just sink out of the closet to escape, so locking them in wouldn’t be much of a barrier.” Patton said, which caused Roman to deflate slightly.

Patton rushed, “But I like the idea! It’s definitely on the right path, and I’m sure you’ll think of something awesome next!” He set a reassuring hand on Roman’s shoulder, which earned a smile in return.

“Ok, third time’s the charm, right? We could all play truth or dare and somehow try to get them to admit their feelings,” Roman offered.

“Ooh! That sounds really fun!” Patton squealed. “We could totally try to do that at tomorrow’s game night!”

Roman grinned wide and said, “Alright, it’s a plan! I’m sure we’ll be able to convince everyone to play, but let’s try to not make it super obvious what we’re trying to do since that might make them uncomfortable.”

Patton nodded in agreement. “Sounds good to me! Maybe today we could encourage them to hang out together. Do you wanna help me make brunch for everyone?”

Roman said, “Yeah for sure! Let’s make heart pancakes since love is in the air! With Logan and Virgil, I mean!” Patton giggled and stood up.

“Heart pancakes sounds great, maybe we could make some hash browns, too, and parfaits! I know Logan likes parfaits and Virgil likes anything with potatoes, so it’ll be the perfect Logan-and-Virgil themed brunch ever!”

 The two sides walked out into the commons and were silently greeted with a small nod by a cozy-looking Virgil on the couch, playing games on his phone.

Roman walked over, plopped down on the couch next to him and said with a grin, “Hey, Virge! How did you sleep last night?”

Virgil pulled his blanket up closer to his chest, then said, “Really well, actually. No nightmares for once.” He looked down, and his mouth twitched with a small frown. “But when I woke up, Logan was gone,” he said quietly.

Roman looked at the other side for a moment and said, “That’s awesome you didn’t get nightmares though!”

“I probably just went too far with the cuddling. I might have freaked him out or something. I just hope he doesn’t hate me, I haven’t seen him yet today—”

Roman quickly cut in and said, “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you! He probably just got up to go do some work, you know how Logan can be about his precious productivity.” Virgil shrugged and nestled back into the couch. “Alright, well, I’m gonna go help Patton with brunch but I know it’ll be alright.”

Roman stood and walked over to the kitchen where Patton had practically covered the counters with ingredients, many of which Roman wasn’t sure even belonged in the food they were planning to make.

The next hour was filled with singing Disney songs, a layer of flour coating nearly everything in the kitchen including both Patton and Roman, and bouts of laughter floating throughout the Mind Palace.

Once everything was ready and spread out on the table, Patton rang the food bell, which sent a chime to all the sides’ rooms. Almost immediately, Logan emerged and walked into the commons, still writing something on a pad of paper.

After a few moments, Janus and Remus trudged up the stairs, still in their pajamas and half-asleep. The two of them were nocturnal, so they got woken up for group meals.

Janus sat down on one of the chairs while Remus crawled under the table and started licking the other sides’ feet. Logan and Roman both silently pulled their feet up under them to sit cross-legged in their chairs. Patton always wore fuzzy socks so he wasn’t too bothered by the creative side under the table. Janus was just used to him at this point.

Virgil slowly peeled himself away from his cocoon of blankets and made his way to the kitchen table where he sat down next to the other sides in their usual spots. Logan greeted Virgil with a smile, which was met with a light blush falling across the other side’s cheeks. His shoulders finally relaxed as he realized that Logan did not, in fact, hate him.

“Alright, well, dig in everyone!” Patton exclaimed, tucking into his pile of pancakes.

-

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 5]

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Taglist: 

@the17thmeatball​ 

@lunaloner​

@aj-that-person​

@lonelyanxiousbean​

@ravenivy2079​

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist (either in general or specifically this fic)!

[wordsfromthesol]

Out of Place (2/6)

Author: @wordsfromthesol Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader Summary: Meeting Dick, and the rest of the batboys.  You’re confused, since you are nowhere near Bludhaven or Gotham. Some tragedies, some battles, etc. Happy ending because I’m a sap. Warnings: Language, blood and torture and other injuries, light smut Word Count: 1.6k A/N: Second part! I’m almost finished with the story and hope to post the rest soon.

Part 1   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6

Juggling everything up the stairs, you slowly walked up to your apartment. Not really a surprise, when the mysterious man was passed out on your couch.

*Sigh* Well, I guess my day off may be a little more relaxing that I thought.

Putting away the groceries, you sprawled out on your living room floor to assess the abundance of medical supplies you purchased. You looked over to see his eyes open and staring at you.

“Oh, good. You’re awake. I need to check and redress all of (motioning to his entire body) …that. Here go throw these on.”

Catching the boxers, he sulked into the bathroom.

“Naked was too much but add some boxers and we are good?” he slyly commented.

*rolling your eyes* “Like I said, I need to check all … that” you motioned for him to sit on the floor next to you. All the stitches, much to your surprise, seemed to be holding nicely. Cleaning them once again, you proceeded to slather them with Aquaphor and opened an ungodly amount of gauze. Once you were satisfied, you got up and handed him more ibuprofen and the sweatpants and t-shirts you bought.

“Alright, you can put some actual clothes on…carefully so I never have to redo those stitches.”

He popped the pills in his mouth and pulled on the clothes.

“So…I’m going to need your computer.”

“Yeah, I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask” you motioned towards your laptop. “If you can get into it, you can use it” knowing it would be no problem for the vigilante to bypass your password. “Though…it is a work computer, so if you could…I don’t know mask whatever you’re planning on doing. That’d be great. I’d like to keep my job”

“Believe me,” chuckling out, “there will be no traces of what I’m doing on your laptop”

After pouring another cup of coffee you walk over and plop down next to him on the couch. “So…what exactly are you doing? Because you sure as hell aren’t going back out there anytime soon.”

“Eh, I’ve been through worse. I can’t let these guys slip through my fingers again.”

“Look…I don’t even know how you made it out alive last time. How on earth you dragged yourself to my apartment, and why my apartment is still beyond me. BUT, if you’re going after them again, clearly you need a better plan…or some back-up. OR better yet, both”

“Yeah yeah, I’m already contacting someone. Worried about me?”

“Wipe that sassy smirk off your face. Of course, I’d rather not have you die. Not that I even know your name” you mumbled that last sentence. You understood why, but you refused to call him Nightwing the entire time he crashed at your apartment.

Sensing your frustration, “How about you call me John for now.”

“How original, is your last name Smith”

“Well, it was my dad’s name. John…not Smith”

“Fine, so are you going to answer any of my previous questions? Or am I just your nurse for the day? Which, by the way, is not my profession.”

“Alright, alright,” he turned to look at you. “I was like a mile up the road near the water. Somehow this gang is smuggling drugs through there.”

“You mean that shitty beach by the bridge? There’s like always people there, how on earth would they get away with that?”

“I think people are a lot less observant than you think. But anyways, I was just doing some recon. Apparently, I wasn’t hidden well enough though because the next thing I know something sliced my back. Blah blah fighting blah. I escaped and ran down the street. I saw the light on at your apartment, so I gave it a shot. Guess my instincts were right”

“Man, so riveting. You should be a story-teller.”

His hand shot up to his chest, “I’m so hurt”.

You let him continue on as you searched for a movie to watch. There was no way you were watching a romcom with him here, so you settled for a mindless action movie that you’d seen way too many times. Within thirty minutes you had curled up in the corner of the couch and fell asleep. Who knows how long you had been out, but you awoke to two people arguing in your kitchen. Great, another vigilante has joined the party. I did not sign up for this. Looking up you saw another man, similar in size, though a bit taller than…John…wearing a red helmet.

“Man, I didn’t know I was throwing a vigilante convention in my apartment.”

The two men, you assumed the other was a male, looked over at you.

“Uh…Y/N, this is my uhm, back-up. Red Hood.”

“Right, I’m not calling you that. If you are setting up base in my apartment, I’m going to need a real name. Not necessarily yours, but something you will answer to.”

“Jason, call me Jason.”

“Right, so John and Jason. Great. What are you to scheming about now? The men at the beach? Got some big plan to take them down” You sat up and noticed the guns attached to Jason’s hip. “Woah woah woah,” you swiftly grabbed your own firearm and pointed it at the newcomer. “I did not agree to some random ass dude strolling up with a pair of 45s.”

Jason smirked and pulled his guns out of the holsters. He dropped the mags and locked back the slides. “Calm down, Annie Oakley, these aren’t for you. You know your gun is purple right.”

“Yeah, still shoots the same bullets.” You lowered the pistol but didn’t set it down. The new guy seemed way more hostile than John. “So, you two idiots have a plan? Should I be calling out of work again tomorrow so I can stitch up more wounds?”

The two exchanged glances. Well you assumed. You couldn’t exactly see Jason’s face under that ridiculous helmet.

“Right…well. You said it was a drug smuggling thing. Do you know how they are smuggling said drugs?”

“Not really, that’s why I was doing recon before I was ambushed. I think it was the league.” He whispered that last part to Jason, but you had heard it anyway.

“Alright, well. Let me see if I can help then.” Picking up your phone, you called your dad.

Hey dad!

What’s up sweetheart?

Alright, I’m helping Y/Sister/N do some research for her story. And she is wanting this gang to be smuggling drugs into like a beach area. Not an intense beach, more like the one by my apartment.

The one near the bridge?

Yeah yeah, like that one. Any ideas how they would do it?

Well that type of beach would be easier, less people, but still enough to make the pick-ups look not so…shady. Let’s see…broken piers, fishing, jetskis, those weird night parties they have down there. Ya’know what I would do?

Let’s hear it.

I would take a boat “fishing” and drop the shit encased by some nets. Later, a buddy could come pick it up on a jetski…or honestly just swimming. That beach has a bunch of like camping type stalls surrounded by trees. People collect shit at the beach all the time, no one would think anything of it.

Hm, alright, well I’ll fill her in when she gets off work. Thanks dad!

You glance at the boys, “Well that’s my contribution. Now get out of my kitchen so I can cook.”

Confused, but grateful for the information, they made their way to the dining room computer to hash out the plan. A few hours later John began to suit up.

“Don’t think you two are leaving without eating.” You set three plates down on the table and walked back into the kitchen. The two vigilantes sat down as you brought out some waters. “Alright, so, tell me the plan so I can make sure I won’t see you two dead on the news in the morning.”

Reluctantly, the two divulge their planned take down.

“Alright, I’m coming with you.” Why the fuck did you just say that.

“As exciting as that would be, hell no”

Picking up the plates you called back, “What…what was that? I can’t hear you through that ridiculous red helmet”

“Y/N/N, listen. Jason’s right, you aren’t trained for this. You’d be a liability, and I’d just be worrying about you the entire time.”

“Awe, worried about me?” sarcasm dripping from the statement, “Look, I’m not stupid. I’m not going anywhere near that fight. Or the league, or whatever. But I have a car, and I’m sure there is another one of those weird night parties I see there all the time. I’ll blend in, and that way I can call the police or something if everything goes sideways.”

“Y/N/N”

“Look John, it’s not really up for debate. Let me check these stitches one last time before you ruin them.” You let out an exasperated sigh.

He sulked into your bedroom, not wanting to hear any of Jason’s commentary. You were satisfied with their state, walked into the living room and grabbed your car keys.

“What, I don’t get nurse Y/N to look at my stitches too?”

“Can it Hood, let’s go.”

The three of you pulled up to the beach. Nightwing pointed to a nearby hole in the tree line. “So that’s where I was the first time.”

“Okay, and I see a crowd of people just over there. They seem about my age, so I’m going to post up.” You open the driver’s door, “Scream blueberry if shits going sideways.” You chuckle as you climb out of your blue car.

“Y/N has lost her mind. Why the hell would I scream blueberry.”

“Jay, she’s just trying to be helpful.”

“Dick, we don’t need her help. We need to keep our head in the game. This is the fucking league.”

The two got out of the car and began to lay the trap.

[assembledherethevolunteers]

Future Management Chapter 4

A/N: Hi, everybody! I’m so glad you guys are continuing to read and enjoy this! You are amazing and I love you! Please let me know what you think of this next part!

Pairing: Ben Hardy x fem!Reader

Summary: You and Ben Hardy had been together for the better part of a decade.  After hitting a rough patch, the two of you decide to end things. However, one small surprise keeps you two connected more than you thought.

Warnings: Um…not sure actually. Maybe some angst?

Catch Up:  Prologue (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/188795655663/future-management)  Chapter 1 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/188846514968/future-management-chapter-1) Chapter 2 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/188923255568/future-management-chapter-2) Chapter 3 (https://assembledherethevolunteers.tumblr.com/post/189095339763/future-management-chapter-3)

Taglist:  @lovebirdy93 @jonesyaddiction @im-an-adult-ish @taylorroger-s  @springholland @stassaurus  @hahaboop @tcnystqrks @bloatedandlonlyy @doctorwhatwhenandwhere  @amy-brooklyn99 @mercurycrowley @shineedrmgrl @yourstateofdreaming If I missed you I’m sorry! Please let me know if you want to be added.  

You were woken up by a knock at the door.  You opened your eyes and noticed Eliza wasn’t there anymore.  You didn’t see Ben either, but you heard the door open.  

“Unkie Gil!”    

“Hello, Annwyl!”  You heard Eliza laugh hard as you imagined Gwil had picked her up and spun around with her.  

“Liza, sh, Mummy is still sleeping.”  

“But, Daddy!”  

“Maybe we should wake her up?”  

“Yeah!”  

You quickly closed your eyes as you heard them walk down the hallway into the living room.  

“Okay, but if she gets mad, don’t come crying to me.”  

You waited until you could feel Eliza’s breath on your face then you opened your eyes.  

“Boo!”  

Eliza fell back, laughing as though you were tickling her.  

“Mummy! We tought you were seeping!”  

You chuckled and pulled her into your lap, kissing all over her face.

“No, not when I heard Uncle Gwil was here!”  You looked up and smiled at Gwil.  

“Hi, Y/N,” Gwil leaned down and kissed your cheek.  

“Hi, Gwil, how have you been?”  

“Oh fine, fine, just working on a few things here and there.  Your new film looks phenomenal by the way.”  

“Thank you,” you saw Eliza sit up and stare at you.  She knew not to interrupt unless it was an emergency.  “Yes, Eliza?”

“Daddy said Unkie Gil is going to stay here for dinner!”

“Oh really?  That will be fun then, huh?  And what are we having for dinner?”  

“Well, actually,” Ben cleared his throat and drew your eyes to him.  “I um…I was hoping you and I could…maybe go to dinner.  And then Unkie Gil here could babysit.”  

That made your heart pound. Dinner?  Like a date?  Were you and Ben going on a date?  That couldn’t be what he meant.  

“Yay!” Eliza clapped her hands.

“Liza, sweetheart,” you looked at her. “Why don’t you go show Uncle Gwil that new picture Mommy gave you?”  

“Yeah!” Eliza got up and grabbed Gwil’s hand to lead her up to her bedroom to show him a picture you gave her of the New York skyline lit up at night on canvas.  

You waited until she was out of the room before you stood up and walked closer to Ben.  

“What do…?”

“Y/N, just, give me two seconds, please?”

You hesitated but nodded slowly.  

“I…I think…” Ben sighed. “I just think…the two of us should get some dinner.  Away from Eliza.  That way we can…hash out some things that we obviously need to.”  

You thought about it, and as much as you were nervous, he was right.  You two clearly had issues that you needed to talk about.  Without Eliza around.  The two of you usually just avoided some things, but after your screaming match, it was obvious you needed to get things out in the open.  

“Okay,” you said quietly. You watched as Ben’s face break out in relief.  

“Yeah?”  

“Yeah, alright, what time?”

“We could leave in about an hour?”  

“Alright, Jones,” you turned and started walking down the hallway.  “It’s a date!”  You called over your shoulder.  

You missed the smile on Ben’s face.  

You took a quick shower and then got dressed.  You decided on a three-quarter sleeved charcoal dress with lace sleeves.  It was one of your favorites.  You fixed your makeup, making it light and as natural looking as you could.  Your hair still looked good from the interview earlier, so that didn’t take much effort.  You slipped on a pair of red heels that made you feel sexy.  

You looked at yourself in the mirror one more time.  You took a deep breath.  You felt butterflies in your stomach like it was your first date with Ben all over again.

You came downstairs with about fifteen minutes to spare and heard Ben talking to Eliza.  

“And behave for Uncle Gwil, yeah?”

“Yes, Daddy!”  

“And don’t fall for the bedtime trick again?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Gwil joked back.  

You walked into the kitchen to see Gwil and Eliza sitting next to each other at the island.  Ben was leaning over the marbled countertop. All three of them looked at you.  

Eliza gasped.  “Mummy, you look petty!”  

You smiled at her and walked deeper into the kitchen.    

“Thank you, Lovebug. Now, you are going to listen to Uncle Gwil?”  

Eliza nodded.  “I will! I pomise!”  

“Okay,” you looked at Gwil. “Think you can handle this?”

“I’ll do my best,” Gwil shot you a wink.  

You finally looked at Ben.

He was dressed in a sky blue button-up.  That was all you could see at the moment, but it made his eyes appear brighter.  He gave you a big grin.  

“You’re right, Liza, Mummy does look pretty.”  

You bit your bottom lip to keep from smiling, but then looked at your daughter to hide your embarrassment.  

“Okay, Lovebug, give Mommy a kiss before we go.”  

Eliza hopped down from her seat as you bent down.  She ran into your arms and you gave her quick kisses.  You stood up with her in your arms.  

“Daddy! You get kisses too!” Eliza reached for Ben.  

Ben came closer and puckered his lips for a kiss, where Eliza placed a quick kiss.  You noticed that Ben was wearing navy blue slacks that made his legs look…

“Mummy and Daddy will be home after your bedtime, alright?  And only two stories from Uncle Gwil, don’t try to make him give you more.”

“Yes, Daddy,” Eliza glanced over a Gwil.  Behind Ben’s back, you saw Gwil hold up three fingers and wink.  Eliza nodded and giggled.  Ben turned to look at Gwil.  

“Alright, there’s leftovers in the fridge for dinner, you know the rest, yeah?”  

“Of course.  We’re going to have a lot of fun tonight, aren’t we, Liza?”

“Yes!”  Eliza grabbed for Gwil and you deposited her in his arms. “Bye, Mummy! Bye, Daddy! Love you!”

“We love you too, baby,” Ben walked over and gave her one more kiss to the head before turning to you. “Shall we get going?”  

You nodded, the butterflies still in your stomach.  

The two of you walked out to Ben’s car and he opened your door.  You blinked at him for a moment before getting into the passenger seat.  

“So, where are we going?” You asked, staring out the window, trying your hardest not to look at Ben.

“It’s a surprise,” Ben smiled slightly secretly.  You raised an eyebrow but didn’t question him anymore.  

“Y/N, I….I owe you an apology,” Ben said a bit later when you were almost into the city.  

You sighed.  

“Yeah, I um…I probably owe you one too.”  

“Alright, same time, ready? One…two…three.”

Neither of you said anything.  

“See, now I’m just disappointed in both of us,” Ben glanced at you.  You both started laughing.  

“You’ve still been watching that, huh?”

“Well yeah, it’s a great show,” Ben paused as he parked his car.  Once the car had stopped moving, he looked at you.  You couldn’t help but notice the sincerity in his eyes.  “I’m um…you know what? I’m better at showing than telling. So, let’s get some dinner,” Ben lifted one corner of his mouth.  Your favorite smile.  He then got out of the car.      

You stared at Ben for a moment and then looked down at your shoes. You figured that you should tell Ben the truth about Jackson.  If this dinner was about clearing the air, you owed him that. You grabbed your purse and reached to open the door, when Ben opened the door for you.  

That was when you noticed the restaurant.  

“Th…this is the restaurant you brought me on all of our wedding anniversaries,” You felt tears come to your eyes, and you couldn’t help it.  You hadn’t been here in four years, but you remembered the nights here.  

On your first anniversary, the two of you had shut the restaurant down, but paced yourselves because you weren’t sure how expensive the place was.  The next three you two had gotten drunk and had to take cabs home, making out in the back until you made it home for sloppy, drunk sex.  Your fifth anniversary never came.

“Do you remember the last time we came here?” Ben asked as if he could read your thoughts.  He offered you his arm and you somewhat reluctantly took it.  

You nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment.  

“That cab driver hated us,” Ben chuckled.  

You cleared your throat. “Well, we had drunk five bottles of wine.”

Ben hummed in agreement before he opened the door to the restaurant and gestured you inside.  

“Hello, table for two for Jones,” Ben told the man standing at the lectern.  

“Oh yes, Mister and Missus Jones, how are we this evening?”  

Your mouth went completely dry.  You hadn’t been referred to by that in a long time.  It made your heart throb agonizingly.  

“Quite well,” Ben didn’t seem to be fazed by it at all.  He placed his hand on the small of your back and gestured for you to follow the man. You followed him to your table and Ben pulled out your chair to let you sit.  

“Thank you,” you whispered to him.  Ben gave you a grin before he walked over to his own chair.  

“Do they still have good food here?”  You asked as you opened your menu, hoping your voice didn’t sound too rough.  

“I wouldn’t know.  I haven’t been here since our fifth anniversary.”

You frowned at him over your menu.  His eyes were glued to his own.    

“Ben, we didn’t have a fifth anniversary.”  

Ben looked up at you with a sad smile.  

“I know, but I already had the reservation.  I came here alone.”  

That broke your heart.

“Ben,” you started, not sure what exactly you were going to say.  

He shook his head.  

“Sorry, I didn’t tell you that to make you feel bad or anythi…”

“Good evening, and how are we doing?”  

“Oh…um…great.  Could we start with a bottle of the Riesling?”

He still remembered your favorite wine.  

“Of course, sir, I’ll be right back.”  

Ben watched the waiter go, and then looked back to you.  

“Anyway, Y/N, I just…I wanted to come here because we had such great times here and I…I think we should…work some things out.”  

“Like what?”  

Ben took a breath when the waiter came back with the wine.  He poured you each a glass and then placed the bottle into the ice bucket.

“And are we ready to order?”

The two of you quickly looked through the menu and ordered.  

“So,” you started after the waiter went away again.  “you wanted to work on things?”  

Ben nodded and took a sip of the wine.  

“Yes, I…um…I feel…I feel like we can…be friends again.”  

You tilted your head to the side.  It felt like he was holding something back.  

“Friends?  You don’t think we’re friends now?”  You made a disbelieving face at him.

Ben chuckled through his nose and shook his head.  

“I mean, when was the last time we had a conversation that didn’t revolve around Eliza?  Or wasn’t a fight?”  

You tilted your head and thought for a few moments.  “Huh, actually, I’m not sure.”  

“Exactly.  We’ve got four years of each other’s lives to catch up on.  So, tell me about New York.”

You snorted. “Really?  You want to hear about New York?”  

“Of course I do,” Ben replied, focusing on you.  He seemed so genuine that you started talking about New York.  The lights, the people, the way the air changed when one of the ball teams was doing well.  Ben asked you to remind him about all the teams there.  

“…and then there’s the soccer team....”  

You caught Ben’s smirk and a slight eyeroll.  

“What was that?”  

“Nothing, just…remember where you are.”

You clicked your tongue against your teeth.  “Really? Calling me out for being American?”

“I’ve already got Eliza calling it ‘football’,” he said with a shrug.  

You gasped dramatically and put a hand on your chest.  “You’ve tainted her! I already caught ‘Mummy’ and ‘chips’.  What else have you lied to her about?”  

“I’m not lying to her.  I’m teaching her the Queen’s English.  Proper English.”  

The two of you jokingly bickered back and forth about America vs Britain.  It felt was fun.  Something that would’ve happened early in your relationship.  

“Mister and Missus Jones?” The waiter asked.  

You both looked up at him.

“Dinner is served,” he placed your meal in front of you and then Ben’s meal in front of him.  

“It looks delicious. Thank you so much,” you smiled at the waiter.  He gave you a gentle smile back, nodded at you both, and then left.  

“How’s your mom?” You asked as you placed your napkin on your lap.  

“She’s doing well, she’d like to see you while you’re here.”  

You nearly dropped your fork and glanced up at him.  “Sh…she what?”  

Ben frowned at you. “Do you not want to see her?”

“Of course I want to see her! I just…didn’t know she would want to see me.”  

“She loves you.  She was heartbroken when I told her we were getting…when we broke up.  Maybe you and Eliza could go over for tea sometime before you go,” Ben said nonchalantly.

“Yeah, maybe,” you replied quietly.  “So how has London changed?”  

The two of you continued your conversation through dinner and nearly 2 bottles of wine.  You were laughing and catching up.  It was like coming home.  It almost made you feel like this being friends thing could work.  And then maybe you could…

“And have we thought about any pudding?”  The waiter came back again.  

“Oooh, pudding?”  

Ben snickered, somewhat tipsily and took your hand.  “Love, pudding just means dessert, remember?”  

You pouted at him. “So, no pudding?”  

“’Fraid not, but if I remember correctly, you do enjoy their treacle tart,” Ben looked up at the waiter. “We’ll split that.”  

The waiter nodded at you and Ben and then walked away.  You looked at Ben, but he was looking at your hands.  He started rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb and you watched him. You knew that you should pull your hand away, or tell him to stop, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do either of them.  Ben glanced up at you, almost making sure that what he was doing was okay, and then back to your hands when he realized you were watching him too.  He gently flipped your hand over and traced the lines on your palm.  It sent a shiver down your spine.  

“I think that’s your love line,” Ben murmured, tracing one of the lines.  

You giggled.  “You have no idea, do you?”  

“No, I don’t,” Ben chuckled but continued tracing your palm.  He moved his fingers to your wrist.  “Your heart’s beating a little fast, Y/N.”  

Of fucking course it is, you thought as Ben’s finger circled around your wrist.  He met your eyes again, then pulled your hand up and brought it to his lips.  Your breath hitched and your skin seemed to be burning from where Ben’s lips were touching you.  

“B…Ben,” you swallowed.

He hummed and placed another kiss to your hand.  “If you want me to stop, I’ll stop.”  

You didn’t.  You didn’t want him to stop ever.  

“Pudding!”  

Did this waiter have timing or what?  The two of you jumped away and Ben dropped your hand.  The waiter put the dessert in the middle of the table with two forks.  

“Do we need more wine?” He asked cheerfully, pulling the now empty wine bottle out of the ice bucket.  

The two of you exchanged a glance.  You knew if you drank another bottle, you should take a cab home.  If you took a cab home, who knew what would happen.  You knew Ben got more touchy the more he drank.  Maybe you both would let your guards down and actually have a conversation that you needed to.  

Ben broke eye contact with you and pulled his phone out of his pocket.  

“Nothing from Gwil, and Eliza should be asleep by now.  I think we could do one more.  What do you think, Love?”  

“We’d need somebody to drive us home,” you warned.  

Ben raised an eyebrow at you, nearly daring you to answer the question.  

You looked up at the waiter.

“Yes, please.  We’ll do another bottle.”  

[ladylynse]

um... you play instruments right? i'm trying to write characters that are going to put on a show together but i have absolutely no idea about music. i just wanted to ask, how long would it take/you give yourself to practice a piece that is like 5 minutes long? 15 minutes? 30 minutes? like... if you know how to play the instrument, how many days would you need to practice the music?? idk terms either oops... if not, just disregard this ask lol

Hey, Anon! You’re right; I do play instruments–a bit of piano/organ but mainly alto sax. (Also voice and handbells, as part of choirs.) That’s a more complicated question than you realize, though. It depends a lot on the person and the type of music/difficulty of the song as opposed to the length of the song.

The longer someone has been playing a particular instrument, the better they are at it. In a relatively simple piece of music–not too fast, not too many black notes (faster sections, since the white notes are held for a longer period of time), easy key signature and time signature that don’t change every few bars (not a lot of sharps/flats/accidentals which are sharps or flats not in the key signature and the counting isn’t )–some experienced people could sight read it without much trouble. That is, see it for the first time and play it through very well. Less experienced people would take longer, and how much longer would depend on how long they’ve been playing that instrument, how long they’ve been reading music (if it’s not the only instrument they know how to play, they might have been reading music for longer), and how complicated a particular piece of music is.

When most people practice, they don’t play the entire song over and over. They’ll work on the sections that give them the most trouble. They’ll play it slower, trying to get the timing right and then the notes right, and then they’ll work on playing it up to speed. (You can use a metronome to help you with this, to tick every beat.) The more difficult sections there are, the longer it will take. I’ve practiced two different sections in the same song (read: multiple bars of running sixteenth notes (which are quick), trying to get the right metering (the beat in the right spot) and the right emphasis and the right notes at the fast tempo we’re supposed to be playing it at) for two hours straight and felt like I’ve made no progress. With a different song, a much easier song, I’ve played through it three times with someone (my accompanist) and then played it for a concert. 

There are also people who can hear a song and then sit down and play a close approximation of it–good enough that you as a listener might not be able to hear much of a difference from what you were expecting. This is called having a good ear. Some of these people have what’s called perfect pitch–hearing a note and being able to name it and mimic it exactly (with voice, or hit the right note on the instrument if it’s an instrument); a lot of them have what’s called relative pitch, where they’re still very good at knowing their intervals and getting stuff right or faking it if they get it wrong. The rest of us have to practice more to get to their base level. Even people who can’t play a song (even a simple one, like happy birthday or the national anthem) without music learn a lot by ear, though, especially if it’s something like jazz. Sometimes, what’s written on the page is not what’s actually played, depending on the style of music. (It’s the equivalent of reading between the lines.)

That being said, I know multiple musicians who cannot read music. It means nothing to them. They learn entirely by ear–listening to a song over and over and working it out. Most of these people sing, play guitar, or play the piano, but for those who play instruments like the trumpet, they’ve learned how to make a certain note on their instrument but have no concept of what that note would be on a different instrument, and they could not tell you that it’s an A or a G or a B flat or a C sharp, just that that’s how they play it. 

Five minutes is longer than you think it is in music. Most of the songs I play run about 2-4 minutes, and in the longer ones–7 minutes? 11-15 for ones with multiple movements or featuring quartets/quintets with a band backup, but those are outliers for my norm–I have a lot of bars of rest where I don’t play at all. Some songs are slower and take longer; a one page song with multiple repeats and a slow tempo (say, quarter note = 70) could be the same playtime length as a more complicated song with three or four pages at a faster tempo (say, quarter note = 160) or which starts slower and then switches to a faster tempo. Some songs have a lot of repeated sections. Some of them feature solos. If you’re playing an instrument that requires you to blow air to sound it–woodwind, brass–then the more you play without getting a rest in the music, the more tired you get, and the harder it is (with brass instruments especially) to hit notes in tune. In longer songs that feature vocals, there are often instrumental breaks where the band plays and the singer gets a chance to rest, or different solos where a particular instrument is featured (piano, bass, guitar, sax, trumpet, depends on what kind of music you’re playing) as much to highlight the skill of that player as to give other people a chance to rest. With jazz music, a lot of solos are improvised. Some people are very, very good at making up a solo on the spot. They are at a skill level where they don’t need to practice to do this. Others (like me) cannot do that at all and need to write something out and try to follow that.

I know people who practice diligently for at least an hour every day, and then a three hour weekly practice with their band, to prepare for a concert in two-three months (somewhere between 15 and 45 minutes of music). I myself tend not to practice as much as I should on my own for the first month and then try to put in an additional 1-4 h/week on top of the 3 h group practice in preparation for a concert, usually practicing 1-3 times a week, depending on how much time I have and how prepared (or rather, unprepared) I feel. Most music groups will meet one night a week and expect their members to practice on their own time; depending on how busy people are and how prepared they are for something, there might be additional practices, but it can be difficult to free up more than one night a week for multiple people. 

For one-off concerts that aren’t a regular thing with a regular group, I don’t tend to practice as much because that tends to be easier music. Maybe five times before the concert itself, for a single song, sometimes just playing that song once or twice with whoever I’m playing it with, sometimes working on it a little longer by myself if there’s a tricky timing/more difficult part I need to work out, but I wouldn’t spend more than half an hour on it at once. (So, with a song with a tricky part, maybe 1 h total by myself and 15 minutes total with someone else. If not a tricky part, well, maybe half an hour total. I dunno. I did a two minute song for a concert earlier this month and practiced it three times; it was a very straightforward song, and I had the melody, and I knew the melody.) That being said, I am related to people who practice once before the concert and call it good (for a song or two), 2-5 minutes, and who probably wouldn’t practice at all except they all collectively go, “I guess we should practice this once.” 

tldr; different people will practice the same song for different periods of time. Some people might not practice at all on their own and just practice when they show up to the group practice, and if they’re skilled, this might not matter. If they’re less skilled, and the others practice, their lack of practice will be more evident. People can work on a song for months or for a week, depending on how easy it is and how good they are at music. Unless your characters are getting a specific song ready for a specific concert/show, they will be learning to play more than one song at once. Listening to a song they’re trying to learn will help them learn it faster, and they’ll hash out the more difficult parts in practice rather than play through the entire song with all the easy parts that they don’t need to really practice because they can already play it well. (Also, didn’t say this before, but learning the timing and rhythm is often more important than learning the notes; the notes come after.)

(tiny addition)

[ramblingsrantsreviews]

Season Review: 13 Reasons Why - Season 4 (Netflix, 2020)

Netflix’s dropped the final season of their controversial teen drama 13 Reasons Why last week and, as expected, it quickly climbed to the number one spot and was trending. Albeit the trending topic was full of just as many people saying “don’t watch the show” as there were fans talking about the show but that’s too be expected.

Inspired by the teen best selling novel by Jay Asher, 13 Reasons Why was adapted into a television series by Brian Yorkey in 2017 and has since spanned four seasons despite controversy from critics, parents, and teenagers. The fourth and final season of the series follow the same group of Liberty High teenagers, now seniors, as they grabble with the aftermath of their decision to frame a murder on a fellow Liberty High student who was sent to prison for sexual assault and ultimately died in prison. Each of the core cast is dealing with the aftermath in different ways with Clay (Dylan Minnette) experiencing the most negative reaction due in part to his deteriorating mental health.

In true 13 Reasons Why fashion, the season deals with a variety of topics ranging from the ongoing drug use of students, their safety in school, mental health, and it even touches upon the very timely topic of police brutality and racial profiling. And of course, it had to pull one last controversial publicity stunt which left one of our beloved characters dead before graduation day.

I’ve already written about my overall thoughts on the characters outcomes but I felt the final season also warranted its own review. In addition to the usual categories, I’ve also includes a spot for my favorite character and favorite couple of the entire season since this is the final season. Least favorite character of the series will not be featured because I don’t feel the need to write anything more about Bryce. I’m also going to try to keep the character portions short so that I don’t repeat myself.

As always, spoilers are ahead.

Favorite Episode: 4×09 — “Prom”

All I’ve ever wanted is for this group of teenagers to be happy and actually enjoy their youth instead of dealing with whatever shit was complicating their lives. Episode 9 finally gave that to us, if you ignore the last 3 minutes of the episode like I’m choosing to do.

This episode had some of my favorite scenes that left me crying tears of joy and had my heart swelling with pride. It was also the first time, in a long time, that we saw the entire group back together in Clay and Justin’s bedroom. I’ve always said this show is best when it’s characters are all united and share the screen together and that scene proved I was right. If only they would have supported each other from the beginning of this season instead of just at the end.

Episode 9 is also home to both Charlie and Alex’s coming out moments and they could not have been more perfect. I absolutely love that both of their families were accepting and didn’t even question their sons. Charlie’s scene with his dad literally had me laughing out loud when they were talking about Charlie’s obsession with Eli Manning. It’s such an innocent thing and yet it showcases that LGBT kids and teens are just like their heterosexual counterparts who have innocent crushes on celebrities and athletes. I also love that his dad basically said he knew but wanted Charlie to come to him when he was ready.

Alex’s coming out moment was equally as cute. I really loved the fact that his wasn’t a coming-out moment in the traditional sense because he didn’t sit his parents down and talk to them about his sexuality. Instead, he just shows up with Charlie who he introduces as his boyfriend. It was perfect and honestly, I think more shows and films should deal with coming-out stories that happen like this. I was once again laughing when Alex’s brother got all excited because he was dating the quarterback of the Liberty High football team. Plus, the heartfelt moment with both of his parents warmed my heart. All they’ve ever wanted for their son is to see him happy and healthy and they finally got that.

I loved Charlie’s promposals and how he kept trying to one-up them to get Alex to say yes. I’m wondering though if maybe he should have tried something more low-key and intimate since that seems to be more of Alex’s style. Either way, they were all cute and I’m glad Alex finally said yes. Also, I love that they finally realized that Jess didn’t need a boy on her arm to have a good time. Having her go with Ani was cute and felt a bit full circle since the only ever girlfriend she had was Hannah who she had a falling out with before her death. And I also love that Clay tagged along with Alex and Charlie to make sure Alex was comfortable. He’s always looking out. Honorable cute mentions also go to Caleb for finally getting Tony to participate in high school activities and Tyler for going with Estella and having the best time ever.

Of course, the prom scene as a whole was amazing (again, until the last 3 minutes which I will not be mentioning again…hopefully). Seeing these kids get to be teenagers warmed my heart and it was everything I ever wanted. I loved that the football team was behind Charlie and Alex winning Prom Kings. It really showed a growth in the team since they’d been homophobic and rapists in prior seasons but have finally started to mature and “be better” as Zach and later Charlie helped instill in them. I also love that Ani and Clay finally hashed out their weird relationship and that they were able to move on as friends.

I was so glad when Justin showed up at the prom. He deserved to have a great time and enjoy his dwindling senior year just like the rest of his friends. I love how they show the scene when Jess spots him in this cinematic and romantic way. Was it cheesy? Yes, but dammit these two deserve all the cheesiness after everything they’ve been through. I also love Jess’s line telling him to never love anything more than life. It was perfect and everything I wanted.

Oh, and Clay asking his mom to dance was equally as adorable.

The only thing I felt this episode needed (other than a different ending) was the inclusion of “The Night We Met.” That song is a staple of this series and it would have been nice to have it played at their final dance. Perhaps, they could have all come together on the dance floor like they did in season 2 for Clay.

Least Favorite Episode: 4×03 — “Valentine’s Day”

To be honest, the whole first half of the season was a hot mess but I think my least favorite episode had to be the third episode. I literally almost stopped watching after it because it no longer felt like I was watching 13 Reasons Why.

I found it to be an interesting choice by the writers to write another episode centered around a dance when we were going to get a prom episode and have had multiple dance centric episodes in prior seasons. I think it would have been more interesting if they set the drama somewhere else. Then again, dances seem to be the only way to get all these characters in one place at the same time so I digress.

My biggest issue with this episode was the whole plot surrounding Clay and the mysterious phone calls. I felt like I was watching a cheap knock off of Scream every time Clay answered the phone and was tormented by the caller. Of all the dumb things this show has done, this was the dumbest and completely unnecessary. After all, Clay had been cleared from being a person-of-interest in Bryce’s murder before Ani’s confession that Monty was the one who did it. Therefor, the football teams motive for taking their anger and emotions for Monty out on Clay made zero sense. Not to mention, they did it in the most unoriginal way ever.

This episode also featured Winston and Alex getting closer and dating. Look, I believe most characters can change and be good people but Winston doesn’t seem to be one of those people. Granted, Alex didn’t know who he was or his involvement with Monty at the time but we did which made it hard for me to root for these two. Winston may have actually had feelings for Alex, but to me he was just using him to get information and that is totally not cool.

I also greatly disliked Clay and Ani in this episode. It’s clear that their relationship has run its course and Ani’s constant need to keep pushing Clay to be with her was dumb. Ani is such a smart character and yet she does the stupidest things. She definitely needed one of Jess’s woman empowerment speeches.

Also I absolutely hated Zach yelling at Justin and then Jess yelling at Justin — even if she was right to do so.

By far the worst thing about this episode had to be the ending sequence with Clay in the shower and then on the football field. Of course, the episode then ended with him walking into the gym with a red stained shirt holding a knife. Definitely not a good image for Clay but what really killed me is that everyone blamed him for brining a knife to the dance when Diego and his boys literally planted it for him to take! Once again 13 Reasons Why forgets its own plot for more drama.

Favorite Character This Season: Charlie St. George

While Charlie might not be my all-time favorite character, he definitely earned the prize of being my favorite character this season.

Charlie was the one character this season who was actually there for everyone around him and wasn’t consumed with his own issues. In fact, Charlie is so selfless that he chose to get involved with all their drama last season when he didn’t need to but did anyway because he knew it was the right thing to do.

As for this season, well Charlie continued to out do himself. He helped Justin hold the football team accountable when they were being dicks. He made sure Jess was getting the team’s undivided attention during her speech. He tried to help Tony decide on what to do about Tyler’s gun pictures during the lockdown and he even calmed Alex down during one of his anxiety attacks. Not to mention, he researched Alex’s TBI so that he’d know what to expect and how to handle any issues that may arise from it. His helpfulness didn’t stop there. He also tried to be there for Clay and for Justin during the season. And he even went as far as tracking down Zach and forcing him to go see Justin in the hospital when he was dying.

If all that doesn’t prove that he’s the best character than I don’t know what will.

He also had the best coming-out moment and literally ruled the prom with Alex as his date.

So yeah, Charlie was the best.

Favorite Character Of The Series: Justin Foley

Since this is the final season, I also wanted to speak about my favorite character of the entire show: Justin Foley. If you read my other post this should come as no surprise that Justin is my ride-or-die character.

Justin is my favorite character because he has one of the best character arcs of the entire series (if you ignore the final episode and is horrible fate). In the first season he was this angry and broken kid who was so distraught with guilt that he turned to the streets for some kind of relief and eventual revenge. Thankfully, Clay and Tony were there to save him and the Jenson’s were kind enough to offer him a home when he had no where else to turn.

Sure, Justin still struggled with his addiction but he tried and fought so damn hard to get better. Relapse is part of the recovery process and if you recall, most of the times Justin relapsed were do in part to major things happening in his life, like his biological mother’s overdose which lead to her death.

Despite all the things against him, Justin finally got help this season and was on the path to recovery. He was thriving in school, had a college acceptance letter in his hands, and was finally happy. All Justin ever wanted to do was live and he constantly tried to do that.

As you know from my character thoughts post, I was completely devastated when he died. It’s been a week and I’m still not over it. I honestly feel like I lost someone I knew in real life.

Despite his ill fitted and unnecessary ending, Justin Foley had the best character development of this group. He was the one character who deserved to live more than anything. In my head, he’s alive and thriving in college while having regular FaceTime dates with Jess.

Least Favorite Character This Season: Winston

Avoiding the obvious answers like Bryce and Monty, who I hate with my entire being, I’ve decided that Winston is my least favorite character of season 4.

I mentioned this in my other post but I’m going to say it again, Winston is nothing more than a knock-off Clay who doesn’t have half the heart that Clay Jenson has.

I can’t get behind Winston because his entire character is rooted in being a rapist apologist because he “loved” Monty. Obviously, I don’t think Winston is a terrible person but I do think something is wrong with him since he is able to have feelings for Monty despite knowing all the terrible and hurtful things he did to people. I mean Mrs. Walker couldn’t look her own son in the eyes after learning everything he did and you’re telling me that Monty can turn a blind eye to it because he’s in love. I call bullshit.

I didn’t feel like Winston’s actions this season were rooted in good like Clay’s were. I think every relationship he formed with the core group was made because he wanted to get information out of them.

The only good thing Winston did was not turn Alex in for killing Bryce. In my opinion, though, that doesn’t redeem him for spending the entire season trying to seek revenge for Monty.

Favorite Couple This Season: Alex and Charlie

Let’s be honest, 13 Reasons Why doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to relationships. Even the most iconic and shippable couples on the show are problematic. Which is why I was so shocked and proud when the writers finally decided to show a happy and healthy relationship, between two boys to top it all off!

While I’ll admit, I had been hoping that Alex would end up with Zach this season I am 110% sold that he was destined to be with Charlie. As I’ve said before and in this very post, Charlie is so caring and attentive to Alex that you can tell his feelings are completely authentic and he has no ulterior motive for wanting/choosing to be with Alex.

In fact, if you watch the third season carefully, you’ll notice that Charlie had taken an interest in Alex during that season. It just wasn’t as prominent on the screen. Perhaps, that’s part of the reason Charlie decided to get involved with this group. And once he found out Alex was the one who needed saving he jumped into action to plant Bryce’s tape on Monty. But that might be my brain stretching.

Regardless, Charlie and Alex are the perfect teenage couple and the by far the healthiest couple of this entire show. They’re there for each other, they celebrate each other’s victories (even if Alex doesn’t always understand them) and their love is unconditional.

These two may be Prom Kings but they’re also Kings of healthy relationships.

Favorite Couple Of The Series: Justin and Jess

Even though Alex and Charlie are the healthiest couple and by far my favorite this season, I can’t help but continue to ship Jess and Justin.

Now listen, these two are not a couple that should be idolized. They’re extremely toxic at times and they are way too dependent on each other. Not to mention, the origins of their relationship are complex and for some, immensely problematic. And yet, here I am stanning this couple because they’re so made for each other.

Part of what makes Justin and Jess work is that they understand each other, even when they don’t always want to. They both have been in each others shows. They both know what it’s like to be at rock bottom and to climb out on top. Beyond that, they’re (usually) always there for each other or at least are cheering each other on in some way.

Was Jess wrong this season to lash out as Justin when he told her he needed to focus on herself? Absolutely. But Justin was also in the wrong a few seasons ago when he didn’t fight to help Jess enough. Regardless of their issues and arguments, these two are always finding their way back to each other.

I loved that Justin went to Jess’s aide during the lockdown. Sure, it took Diego being an ass to get him there but I’m pretty sure he would have went regardless. Frankly I’m convinced that Justin was texting Jess during the lockdown before he even went down to see her. And, despite everything going on, in that moment they felt safe, because they were together.

I love that Justin, even though he was jealous of Diego, never really made it an issue — or at least, a major issue. When Zach is trying to rile him up at the Valentine’s Day dance Justin reminds him that Jess doesn’t belong to him. It’s the smallest thing but it a sign that he loves and respects Jess enough to let her be on her own. In fact, I’d argue that the real issue he has with Jess seeing Diego is that Diego is a complete dick to Clay and is obsessed with finding out the truth about Monty.

I love that Jess is (almost) always there for Justin. Should she have pulled him out of the alleyway when she finds him doing drugs again? Absolutely, but I think her choosing to walk away was an extremely hard decision for her to make. And I’m glad their story didn’t end there. I absolutely loved Jess’s speech to Justin at the prom. And the scene of them in the hospital completely wrecked me. Hearing Jess say that Justin taught her to love when he was still convinced he ruined her life was seriously the most heartbreaking thing ever.

As I said, I’m pretending these two are living a happy and healthy life because that’s what they deserve.

Complaints:

13 Reasons Why is strongest when the cast is together and supporting each other. Unfortunately this season everything felt disjointed, especially these characters relationships with each other. Alex and Jess had barely any scenes together despite committing a murder together. Zach was messy the entire season and acting very out of character. And no one cared enough to help him. Alex did try but it didn’t feel like enough, or maybe Zach was just too stubborn to accept it. The golden trio (Clay, Justin, and Jess) had little to no scenes until the end which hurt me to my core. I felt like Justin was missing from the first half of the season and then when he did get more time on screen he was literally dying. Clay and Tony barely had any scenes together and seemed annoyed with each other. Tyler was basically on his own this season – at least he had Estella. I guess I had higher hopes that our core group would be stronger than ever but that simply wasn’t the case and I’m upset about it.

My other major problem this season was the show’s need to try to be a psychological thriller. I fully support them wanting to show Clay’s deteriorating mental state and I found it interesting that they chose to go the disassociating route but I am not a fan of how they did it. I felt like the writers forgot the genre of their show. As I mentioned above, I also hated the football team using their phones to torment Clay. It was stupid and unoriginal.

Another issue I had this season was the fact that both Ani and Zach out Alex to different people. In Ani’s case she outed Alex to Clay by confessing that she caught him making out with Winston in the hallway during the dance. As for Zach, he outed Alex to almost all of their friends during the senior camping trip after learning that Alex broke up with Winston. While neither of them outed Alex with malicious intent, it was still wrong. I would have liked to see Alex confront them about it, at some point.

I absolutely hated and was disgusted at the fact the show tried to portray both Clay and Zach as people who would rape unconscious women who were unable to consent. I will never forgive the writers for that. It literally served no purpose and completely went again both of their characters.

I also found it extremely random and unneccesary that Clay hooks up with Valerie, Sheriff Diaz’s daughter, at that party. I don’t care that he hooked up with someone but because it was the daughter of the Sheriff I wanted that to be a bigger moment. I was waiting and expecting Sheriff Diaz to find out and flip out on Clay but that never happened. As it stands now, the only purpose that scene had was to inform us that Sheriff Diaz did have a family which would make his speech to Alex’s dad at the end of the season make sense.

I also wasn’t a fan of Monty and Bryce’s presence this season. Both of them already got their moments in the spotlight we didn’t need to see them again. They were monsters who don’t deserve any sort of redemption or yet another attempt of a redemption arc. I also found it extremely peculiar that Clay was the one that was seeing them. As I’ve said before, Clay wasn’t the one who came up with the idea to frame Monty so I wasn’t totally sure why he felt so guilty. I also hated that they gave Jess another scene with ghost Bryce at the end instead of having her see ghost Justin. If anyone deserved to be in that final scene where they’re burying Hannah’s tapes it was Justin. After all, he’s where the story began.

Speaking of the final scene, I felt it odd that they decided to bring Courtney and Ryan back. If they were going to reunite the entire tape crew where were Marcus and Sheri? Even though they weren’t prominent in the episode I felt their screen time could have been given to one of the other core characters instead.

Another minor thing, I missed the smooth transitions in and out of scenes that 13 Reasons Why always seemed to nail. I know they were mainly used when the story was switching from past and present but I truly missed them this season. Everything felt harsh and jagged and I wasn’t a fan.

Lastly, and this one is going to be obvious. I hated that they killed Justin. There was no reason for his death. There was no hint that he was the one who was going to die. It was unnecessary and a last ditch attempt to be controversial and shocking. I’m not over it and I’ll never be over it.

Praise:

Most of the things I’m going to write here I’ve said elsewhere so I apologize for any repetition.

As I said above, one of my favorite things about this season was Alex and Charlie’s coming out scenes. Something I have yet to mention though, is that I love how Alex turned to Tony when he was still in the midst of questioning his sexuality. It was a really sweet moment and it showcased Tony and Alex’s friendship. I also love that Tony answered the question without questing Alex on why he was asking. Tony could have asked Alex if he was questioning his sexual identity or something else but he chose not to because it’s not his place.

Speaking of Tony, I adored the scene with his father when Caleb told him about Tony’s college opportunity. Tony was so adamant on turning it down because he wanted to keep the auto shop going and to hear his father tell him that Tony is his dream was heartwarming. I think we all knew that his father just wants what is best for Tony but to hear him say it was important.

I did like the scene where the tape crew was reunited. It felt very full circle but I think they should have burned the tapes instead of burying them. I swear to god, if in 10 years this show gets a reboot because someone finds the tapes I’m going to die. I was a bit confused though since it didn’t appear that all the tapes were in the box. And I still think Justin should have been a part of it in some way. After all, he was the start of the tapes. Bryce may have brought them all together in a twisted way, but without Justin they wouldn’t have existed either.

Everything considered, I’m glad we did get to see Jess and Justin together in the end. To me they are endgame — even though Diego tries to get Jess to date him right after Justin’s death. I’ll cherish the prom scene and even the scenes in the hospital forever.

Also regarding Justin’s fate, I loved his final scene with Clay. The series spends so much time trying to get us to believe that Justin found a brother in Bryce, but I never bought it. Justin’s only brother was Clay and that essay proved that. It was so heartfelt and sad and I loved it. I also love that Clay admits to Justin that he doesn’t know how to go on without him but Justin assures him that he does.

I also did like the ending scene with Clay and Tony, even though in my perfect world it was Clay and Justin driving off to college together. It was a nice full circle moment. Although, I will admit my anxiety was through the roof because I seriously thought they were going to get into an accident. After all, it is 13 Reasons Why.

Lastly, I want to discuss the final scene at the police station between Alex’s dad and Sheriff Diaz. I spent a lot of this season and last season hating Sheriff Diaz but he certainly redeemed himself in that moment. There’s no doubt in my mind that he realized that Alex was the one who killed Bryce. And yet, he understood that Alex is a good kid who doesn’t deserve to be in jail. He understood that Bryce and Monty were both monsters. He knew that if the truth got out Alex’s dad would fall apart. His speech about putting family before his job was important and impactful.

As I’ve said, of all the shitty things this show has done the one thing they actually got right was letting Alex walk free. I never would have forgiven them if they had sent Alex to jail. After all, he’s not a monster he’s the hero of the story.

                                                         * * *

I still have mixed feelings about the final season and I think I will for the rest of time. Had they not have killed Justin I feel like I would have felt a lot better about the conclusion of the show. But if 13 Reasons Why has taught me anything its that life is not fair and that we cannot let tragedy dictate our entire lives. We must live (and continue watching questionable television shows).

You can stream the final season of 13 Reasons Why on Netflix.

What did you think of the final season of 13 Reasons Why? What was your favorite and least favorite episode? Who do you ship? Are you happy with the ending? Let me know in the comments or by tweeting me @3RsBlog.

Featured Image Source: Netflix