#I should detach myself from everybody

[blanklystaringintothevoid]

*feels slight distance*

Ahh shit my bad, lemme just detach myself from everybody

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

Liberals to "Trump Worse" and Zionists to "But Hamas!" they deserve each other, the same type of detachment from reality and strenuous denial that they support genociders

We should simply treat blue people the same way as Zionists, i.e. complicit in and supporting genociders

The level of liberals is simply no different from that of Zionists

And to those feminists who are silent about Gaza, Sudan and Congo: Fuck you, we all know you are radical transphobic and racist bigots lol

Now that I have your attention:

[padfootagain]

For Your Family

Here I come for a new request for my Comeback Event! This was an anon request for Sirius Black : “Hi! :)) can I request, please? Sirius Black+ Soulmates AU + Arranged marriage

It'd nice if reader's house is Slytherin (if not it's totally ok) Thank you so much lovely! 💚”

Thank you so much for your request, anon! I wasn’t so sure how to include an arranged marriage in the Marauders world, I hope you won’t be disappointed in the choice I’ve made to explain why the two had to get married. I’m not a huge fan of the whole pureblood thingy that’s quite commonly used… so I’ve tried to find another way.

I hope you like what I’ve written for your request!

****

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Warnings: set during the First Wizarding War, mentions of trauma, violence, and some sacrifices to be made to protect one’s loved ones. No actual depiction of violence, though. A make out session, but nothing explicit (still no nsfw here).

Summary: Your fight against Voldemort has gotten you into trouble, and now your family is at risk. Your only choice to protect your family is to separate yourself from them, and what better way to do that than to marry Sirius Black? After all, your families hate each other. But in a world of soulmates, faking a marriage is even more complicated.

Word Count: 5233

It’s funny how a life can be turned upside-down all of a sudden.

A matter of minutes, and everything stops, everything is destroyed, everything needs to be reinvented.

This is one of these moments. The moment when you lose everything that was familiar and need to reinvent yourself if you’re to survive. Weird feeling. Overwhelming. So overwhelming that you don’t really register the news when it falls on your shoulders. You don’t understand it. Or rather, you understand the words, your brain fathoms their meaning but the emotional connection is blocked. You’re numb more than devastated.

Strange.

“The only way to keep your family safe is to never go back. Show that you’ve detached yourself fully from them.”

“But they’re not on our side…”

“I know, but that doesn’t change anything. They’re not on His side either. Which means that He could still consider them a threat. Traitors. He could think that they are on our side too. Do you understand, Y/N?”

You stare at Moody and his strange magical eye, and nod. You understand. It’s logical thinking. You need to make sure that your family is out of any suspicion, or the Dark Lord will come for them. They’re already into hiding, but you need to make sure that everybody knows that your choice to fight in the Order doesn’t match their own fight. They are neutral in this war, and you don’t blame them. They don’t agree with Voldemort, they’re just scared.

You are too. Absolutely terrified. But what else can you do? You reckon that you won’t be able to live with yourself if you just hide with the rest of your family and do nothing.

“What can I do to show that there is no link between my family and myself anymore?” you ask Moody, dreading his answer.

But he shrugs.

“Building a family of your own could help. Show that you’ve moved on.”

By his side, Dumbledore is lost in thought. His electric blue eyes are fixed on a stain on the yellow wallpaper that covers all the rooms of your small hiding place.

You can’t go home anymore. It’s too dangerous. You’re trapped in this tiny apartment instead.

“I reckon that… Alastor is correct,” the old wizard suddenly breaks the heavy silence that had settled in the room. “You should build yourself a new family, or at least, fake it.”

“How do I do that?”

“I heard that your family hated the Blacks…”

“Rightly so.”

“But Sirius as well. Do they not?”

“Yes… they… they don’t like him. They don’t think he’s different from his family.”

“But we do know that he’s different, and Voldemort knows as well. Or at least, he is suspicious towards him.”

You slowly nod.

“He will soon have to go into hiding, right?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so. The Potters are already hiding, and I reckon he will soon have to do the same,” Dumbledore nods, before setting his magnetic eyes on yours, and some invisible strength seem to be forcing you to stare back, you find yourself unable to look away. “Actually… this could be the perfect excuse to convince Mr. Black to finally hide.”

“What are you talking about?”

Dumbledore takes a moment to look for the right words, but when he speaks again, his idea doesn’t seem less shocking to you, by any means.

“Your family would probably push you away if you were romantically involved with Mr. Black. So, I recommend that the two of you pretend to be a couple for a while. You could both go into hiding after your wedding.”

“A wedding?”

“Yes, Ms. Y/L/N. A wedding.”

Sirius stares at you with round eyes, expecting you to break out of character and confess that you’re only joking. Because all of this has to be a joke…

“What do you mean getting married. For real?”

“Dumbledore said that we needed to get all the paperwork done, to make it official. That way, my family will get mad, and will be loud about it. They’ll push me away. And they’ll be out of trouble.”

Sirius shakes his head.

“We… we barely know each other,” he argues. “I mean… we’ve worked together on a couple of missions, but that’s it. We don’t even know each other from Hogwarts, you being in Slytherin…”

“There’s no need to be mean about that,” you interrupt him, but he rolls his eyes.

“I’m not, I’m just saying that we didn’t talk to each other back then. We’ve spent… maybe five days together. We can’t get married. Besides… we’re not soulmates. You’re not my soulmate. Who could believe that?”

“Look… I know it’s a big thing to ask from you. It’s… it’s a huge favour to ask…”

“It’s not even a favour at this point…”

“But my family is in danger, and I have no other plan.”

Sirius falls silent, and you seize the occasion to continue.

“Please, Sirius. We need to get married. We need to do it for real. We need to get all the official papers. We need my family and yours to know about it, so they can both be vocal about how despicable we are. We need to go into hiding together. And then, my family will push me away, and they’ll be safe. And after the war, once everything is calmer again, we can get a divorce, and get back to our normal lives. But this is my only chance at protecting my family. Please, I’m begging you.”

“It’s not that simple. Why would we get divorced? If we get married in the first place, it’s because we’re going to pretend that we are soulmates, that we are meant for each other. What then? Have you ever heard of soulmates divorcing?”

“We’ll confess everything. We’ll say that we lied, that we’re not soulmates, and that it was all to protect my family. We’ll tell the truth, get a divorce. And you’ll be free to go looking for the real love of your life.”

Sirius stares at you, at your eyes now full of tears you’re struggling to withhold and…

How can he say no?

You’ll just get a divorce once everything is over. You… you’ll just pretend. He needs to get into hiding anyway, there isn’t a choice anymore. It’s too dangerous for him, and he knows it.

People simply don’t get that he doesn’t care about dying. He doesn’t reckon he’s worth all the trouble of hiding him, of taking risks for him. He’d rather be the one on the front line.

But here you are now, staring at him with this desperate, broken expression written all over your features, and he genuinely feels like he’s your only chance.

He didn’t get the chance to have a good family, but you do. He knows what it means though, to be happy, to be loved and cared for by your parents. The Potters showed him that. And if he had to marry a stranger to ensure that the Potters would be safe, he wouldn’t hesitate. So, why would you?

Slowly, he nods.

“Alright. What papers do I need to sign?”

You stare at the ring on your finger, and there’s a lump in your throat.

You’re married. To an almost-stranger.

In the kitchen, you hear Sirius emptying a box filled with plates and glasses and knives.

You’re into hiding. That’s it. It’s done.

You look out by the window. In this small cabin, you’re surrounded by a deep forest of pine trees. It’s summer. Flowers are scattered across the patch of grass before your cabin. It’s sunny outside still, a late afternoon still bathed by bright sunshine.

In your hand, you’re still holding your family’s letter. You haven’t opened it. You don’t want to. You don’t need to. You already know what’s inside, no need to actually read it and make the pain a thousand times worse.

The sounds from the kitchen wane but you don’t notice. You don’t notice either when Sirius enters the living room, standing before the sofa where you’re sitting. You’re staring at the bright sky instead. It’s blue and infinite and the same as yesterday.

Funny how the world remains the same no matter what happens in your life…

“Are you okay?”

You jump as Sirius’s deep voice suddenly fills up the room. But you nod, lying, and he knows you’re not being earnest.

“You haven’t read it, have you?” he asks, nodding towards the letter still resting on your laps.

You look up sheepishly at him, shaking your head. He heaves a sigh.

“Do you want me to read it for you?”

“I don’t want to know what it says,” you confess in a whisper.

“I’ll just tell you if the plan is working.”

You hesitate one last time. You look at the sealed envelope, turning it in between your fingers. At last, you hand it to him, without looking at him.

He’s silent as he reads it. He doesn’t say anything, keeps an unreadable expression. It lasts for a few minutes: him standing next to the couch, motionless; you sitting on the sofa, looking away. Silence is everywhere, heavy, filling up all the space around you and inside you as well, from your heart to your lungs…

Finally, Sirius clears his throat, folding the letter again and slipping it back into its envelope. At last, you look up at him again.

He offers you a kind smile.

“It worked. Everything is going as planned. No need to reply to their letter. We’re fine.”

You nod, giving him a grateful smile as he gives you back the note.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

You’re not certain whether you feel relieved or devastated. Probably a little bit of both. Sirius recognizes this look on your face, he’s worn it often during his teenage years.

“What about a warm meal? I make some amazing pastas.”

“Really?”

“I do. Best of the entire Order!”

You can’t refrain a chuckle.

“How can I refuse such an offer?”

“You can’t.”

He notices that you’re staring at his left hand, and he shrugs as he answers to your silent question.

“We’re inside, it’s just us… no need to wear our wedding bands, I reckon.”

“Right…”

“I can wear it if it makes you feel better. But then… we have both agreed that this… is not real. Just… two colleagues hiding.”

“Two colleagues with the same name though,” you joke, a small smile playing on your lips. And it’s small and shy and barely there, but at least you’re not crying. That’s already a lot.

But you’re surprised when Sirius doesn’t laugh, or even smile. Instead, he sternly stares at you. You notice that he has clenched his jaw.

“One more proof that it isn’t real. I would never let my soulmate wear my name.”

“Really? Why?”

The muscles along his jaw jump. You see his Adam’s apple bobbing as he struggles to swallow. His stare is so intense, you can’t look away from his grey eyes.

“It’s a shitty name. A shitty family. I won’t let the person I’ll love my entire life suffer because of it the way I did. The way I still do.”

He doesn’t give you the chance to answer, and strides out of the room, going back into the kitchen. You remain sitting there, puzzled, for a few minutes. And when you finally get up to help him cook an early dinner, you haven’t taken off your wedding ring. It still sits there, around your finger.

You expected life with Sirius to be less pleasurable as it turns out to be.

He’s quite fun to be around. Quite charming as well. A shame he’s not your soulmate.

After all, you’ve always believed that you would know at first sight. Whoever your soulmate can be, you’re certain that you will recognize them in an instant. Love at first sight. No need to check any birthmarks, you’ll know. When you see them, you’ll know.

It doesn’t mean that Sirius has no effect on you, because he does. He’s charming, and attractive, and sweet behind his cold behaviour. You almost feel guilty for enjoying this time spent with Sirius. After all, your friends are risking their lives out there, but what can you do? It drives you mad to stay here, but you can see that Sirius feels even worse. He’s pacing most of the time these days. It’s been three weeks, and he’s like a wolf in a cage.

It's late now. Stars shining outside, above the canopy of pine trees that surround your house. There’s a full moon out there, Sirius is worried, even more than usual. You guess he’s thinking about Remus. That’s probably why he’s sitting in the little alcove around the window, his temple resting against the cool windowpane.

“You must be missing them.”

He turns to you with a small frown across his brow. There’s a pale light coming in from the moon, shining over one side of his features, while the rest of his face is coloured by the warm glow coming from the candles alit throughout the room and the fire burning in the hearth. He’s attached his hair in a messy bun, like he often does, and you can’t help the thought that forms in your mind. You like it when he wears his hair like that.

He looks handsome, and you wish you didn’t find him so attractive. Because he’s not your soulmate, you must remember that.

“Who are you talking about?” he asks you, tilting his head to the side a little in a questioning stance.

“Your friends. Your family.”

He snorts loudly.

“My friends, sure. My family, not at all.”

“I meant… the Potters.”

He falls silent again for a moment, before slowly nodding. When he speaks up again, his voice is deeper than usual, it has dropped down by an octave. The sound warms your soul and makes you shiver at the same time. Your heart beats faster all of a sudden.

“Yeah… yeah, I miss them quite a lot.”

“Remus must be having a rough night,” you add, nodding towards the moon.

“Yep. I’m worried about him. I hope he’s okay, wherever he is.”

He looks at you for a while longer, before speaking again.

“How are you feeling about all this?”

“All this?”

“Your family, I mean.”

You shrug. What else can you say? Sirius merely nods, and you truly believe that he understands your simple gesture.

“I’d rather be out there, though,” he goes on, and you can’t refrain a chuckle.

“I had noticed. You’re pacing so much these days, we’ll soon have holes in the carpet.”

It’s his time to chuckle, and you welcome the warm sound.

“Yeah, well… I’m not the type to simply… sit back and see how it turns out.”

“Hmm… it was already the case in Hogwarts, if I remember correctly.”

“Yeah, you can put it like that,” Sirius laughs.

You realize it’s the first time you hear that sound today. You reckon that’s a shame.

“You turned my hair purple once,” you go on, welcoming a more light-hearted conversation.

“Did I?” Sirius asks, laughing even more. “I don’t remember that.”

“Third year.”

He looks through his memories, but can’t recall the exact prank.

“I cursed your sorry arse so hard you stayed in the Hospital Wing for two weeks,” you add, and this time, Sirius’s face lightens with recognition.

“Oh! Yes! I remember that! It was totally worth it, the face you pulled!”

You’re both laughing wholeheartedly now, and it feels good. It feels nice to just relax, to forget about what is going on outside for a little while. You know this is ephemeral. It will be gone with the breaking of dawn, you have no doubts about it. Still… it’s nice. You bathe in that warm feeling, in the sound of his bark-like laughter, the sight of his eyes watering with joy. It’s a rare sight to see. You’re glad to witness it.

And as he looks at you again, sees you holding your stomach because of your loud laughter, your hair dishevelled and your clothes a little messy… he likes it. That sight. You looking comfortable and happy, almost as if the world wasn’t ending. It feels right. It almost feels like he’s meant to see you this way. He doesn’t quite know what to do with this feeling, but he welcomes it all the same.

“You know… it’s not so bad to be trapped here with you,” Sirius says as you both calm down.

He rests his back against the curve of the alcove again, letting one of his legs hang by the wall, while the other is bent, knee resting against the windowpane. He’s staring at you with his grey eyes burning from the light of the hearth, a crooked smile on his lips.

Your heart skips a beat at the sight.

“Yeah?” you ask back, a little too short of breath under his intense stare to gather enough strength to say anything more.

“I mean… It still sucks to be stuck in this cabin, don’t get me wrong. But I… I was quite… concerned about us living under the same roof. And I’m pleasantly surprised.”

“Me too, actually. You’re not as insufferable as I thought you would be.”

“Good to hear…”

“I have to admit though that… this is not exactly how I had imagined my honeymoon…”

He laughs at your joke again, and you soon join him.

“Yeah… me neither.”

“I bet you’d like a long journey across the globe. Or on an exotic island somewhere…”

Sirius shrugs.

“I don’t know… that does sound fun. But… I reckon that something simpler would be nice too.”

“Really?”

“As long as they’re happy, I wouldn’t care.”

He frowns as your smile changes from amused to tender.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you shrug. “I just… You’re surprising, that’s all.”

“In a good way?”

“Yeah, in a good way.”

You exchange a smile, and Sirius takes a deep breath before asking his next question. His heart beats faster all of a sudden, he doesn’t dare look for an explanation for the frantic rhythm.

“Have you been looking for them, by the way? Your soulmate, I mean.”

“No, not really. What’s the point in a world like that? It would just… make it harder for me to focus on what needs to be done and… it would only be one more person to protect.”

“One more way to get hurt…”

“Exactly. Wrong timing. I’ll think about them once the war is over.”

“I like your confidence. The way you seem certain that you’ll survive all this.”

“What’s the point in thinking the contrary? It won’t help.”

“No… no, I guess you’re right.”

“What about you? Have you looked for them?” you ask him, and you don’t miss the way he tenses up. You regret questioning him about something so personal, but he answers anyway.

“No, I haven’t. Because of the war as well, of course. But also because… my family… it’s complicated. I’m just getting back on my feet after… all that happened with them. I’m finally feeling better. I don’t want to find them too soon, when I’m still recovering from all this. I don’t want them to be disappointed.”

He looks away in a hurry, rolling up his sleeves to reveal a series of tattoos colouring the pale skin of his forearms. He digs into the back pocket of his jeans to get a cigarette. He lights it up without his wand, nor a sound. You can’t help but smile. Sirius is an impressive wizard, a shame his family never told him so.

“I don’t think they would be disappointed though,” you answer so earnestly, Sirius has to look up at you again.

He blows a cloud of smoke before speaking once more, a sarcastic smile on his lips.

“Yeah, sure… traumatised guys are amazing partners to build a life xith, you didn’t know that?”

“I’m just saying that… if someone loves you, they will want to help.”

Sirius remains silent for a moment, taking another drag off his cigarette.

“I don’t know, I just… you’re talking about your soulmate,” you go on. “They should be there for you, no matter what happens.”

“I don’t want to burden them with all this.”

“Why not?”

“Because… because I don’t think they’ll be able to love me if I do.”

He lets out a wry laugh.

“The boys keep on telling me that… it’s all bullshit, they agree with you. But I don’t feel like that. I think… I don’t want to be a burden, that’s all.”

“You’re not a burden, Sirius.”

“Not to you, I’m not. You’re the one to owe me one!”

“True,” you smile at him, and he copies your gestures.

He blows one more cloud of smoke, and he seems to be relaxing again.

“Well… for all that’s worth… and it should count for something, as I am legally your wife… I wouldn’t be disappointed if you were my soulmate.”

Sirius quirks an eyebrow.

“Really?”

“No, I wouldn’t be,” you repeat, still serious, and you see him blushing a bit, but he doesn’t look away. “You’re a good man. Annoying but… good.”

He chuckles at that, but the smile that lingers on his lips is grateful, and you’re not fooled.

“Well, for what it’s worth… and it should count for something, as I am legally your husband,” he adds with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and yet you can see that he’s earnest, that he means the words he speaks out loud now. “I wouldn’t be disappointed either if you were my soulmate. Actually… I’d love that.”

You’re certain that your heart is going to explode by now…

And you hate yourself for being so happy to hear these words. You can’t imagine that Sirius is your soulmate. And yet… yet you realize now that you really, really want to kiss him…

You wonder what his lips would feel like upon yours. He would probably taste like cigarettes if he were to kiss you now…

You push the thought away, but it’s hard to do so when Sirius suddenly stands up and stares at you with such an intensity, he seems to be trying to read through your very soul…

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t think you’re my soulmate.”

You quirk an eyebrow, half-amused.

“Okay…”

“No, I mean…” Sirius closes his eyes, trying to find the right words to express what he means.

He silently curses himself for being this clumsy. He takes one last drag off his cigarette and throws it in an ashtray, set on the coffee table before the sofa where you’re sitting now.

“I meant to say that… I haven’t felt instantly… pulled towards you, or anything of the kind. So, I assume that you’re not my soulmate.”

“I didn’t feel like that either,” you reassure him.

“And yet… I have to admit that… I like you. I… genuinely like you.”

You stare at each other for a moment, and he has to force himself to breathe when your lips part slightly in shock, because he wonders what they would feel like upon his and…

“So… I was thinking… would that be completely crazy if I asked you on a date?”

You stare at him in silence for a while longer, and Sirius starts to think that he’s ruined everything, when you suddenly start laughing.

“Sorry, I just…” you struggle to speak despite your laughter. “You… you’re asking me on a date when we are already married.”

Sirius chuckles as well, and a crooked smile lingers on his lips.

“Well… we’re legally married but… for the rest…”

“Yeah, not for the rest.”

“I’m not going to pretend that it would be forever, you and I,” Sirius goes on. “But I like you, a lot. I really do. And we’re stuck here, and we… are probably going to die. Sorry to bring down your everlasting optimism but…”

“Is the fact that you might be the last man I see truly the best argument you can come up with?” you joke, but Sirius blushes uncontrollably.

“No… I mean…”

He closes his eyes tightly again, buries his hands in his pockets, and takes a deep breath before diving.

“I like you. I’m attracted to you. I think that I could love you. That I… I’m already falling for you, if I’m to be fully honest. So… even if it’s not meant to be for a lifetime, as we have no idea how long we have left… I think it doesn’t sound like such a bad idea if we gave this a try. What do you think?”

You smile up at him.

“Well, I wonder what kind of date you could come up with as we are stuck here in this cabin…”

“Dinner? My famous pastas?”

You laugh, shaking your head, and it’s your turn to stand.

You have no idea what is happening to you, why you’re so bold all of a sudden. Maybe it’s his messy bun, the ink on his skin, the warm light of the fireplace that compliments his features perfectly… you’re not sure, but what you know is that you are now walking to him, and that you don’t stop before being so close to his body that the two of you are almost touching.

“Well, as you said, we’re married. We’ve been living together for weeks now. Perhaps we could skip the date.”

A smug smile appears on his lips, and under any other circumstances, you would find this annoying, painfully so. But not now. Now, you can only stare at his grey eyes as you see his pupils dilating.

“You’re sure?” he asks, and despite his crooked smile, his voice is soft and earnest.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

He raises his hand to brush his fingertips across your cheek, sending shivers down your spine and leaving your skin burning behind his feathery touch.

“If we do this, there will be no turning back. Are you sure?” he asks once more, and you notice the way his breathing has quickened.

“Are you sure?” you ask back.

“If I’m to be honest… I’ve been wanting this for a while now.”

“Me too.”

“So… you’re not going to curse me if I kiss you now, right?” he jokes, successfully making you laugh.

“No, Sirius. I won’t curse you. I might kiss you again, though. You’ve been warned.”

“Dully noted. But if you do that, I might want to do a little bit more than just kissing you. You’ve been warned.”

“That’s precisely what I had in mind.”

He grins at you, his hand moving to cup your face.

“You’re full of surprises, Y/N.”

Before you can speak again, he has leaned down to crash his lips against yours. Suddenly, he’s cradling your face in both his hands, and deepening the kiss, and you’re losing your fingers in his hair, destroying his messy bun.

And Merlin, you’re certain your body is going to combust, and your heart explode…

Meanwhile, Sirius reckons that he has found heaven on Earth…

How long do you spend kissing each other like this, standing by the fireplace? You’re not sure. Hard to tell. A long while, you reckon.

You let Sirius’s lips move down to drop soft pecks along your jawline, and further down to attach themselves to your neck. And while you can barely breathe at the feeling of his soft lips on your skin, of his open-mouthed kisses running across the side of your neck, of his teeth grazing the sensitive skin from time to time, your hands slip down the length of his back before reaching for his chest. You undo one of the buttons of his shirt, then another, then another, your fingers brushing his warm skin as they travelled upwards to undo yet another button of Sirius’s black shirt, and you feel him gasping against your skin under your trembling touch. He wraps an arm around your waist to pull you closer, and you can’t refrain a moan when he gently bites that soft spot at the base of your neck, right when the shoulder begins.

You push the piece of clothing off his shoulders, letting your hands rest on his neck to pull his face away from you, detaching his swollen lips from your skin just long enough for you to look at him, to the tattoos scattered across his torso and his arms, to look down and take in the sight of his chest and…

Your eyes grow round when they land on his waist. Sirius tries to slow down his heart as you stare at the birthmark that lays there, on his skin. Two circles intertwined. He frowns as you remain frozen, motionless, merely staring at him.

“You’re okay?” he asks, worried now.

But you look up at him with an aghast look painted all over your features, and before he can ask anything, you pull up your t-shirt, just enough to reveal the two white circles that adorn your waist…

It’s Sirius’s time to stare. He reaches to run his fingers on the shapes carved into your skin, but there’s no doubt possible.

Same shape, same colour, same placement, same size…

When your gazes meet again, you both seem equally shocked.

“Does that… does that mean…?”

But Sirius doesn’t have the strength to finish his question. So, he merely stares at you with his grey eyes filled with fear and questions, and you merely nod in response.

“We… we’re… you’re…” he tries to speak, but can’t.

You’re the first to break into a bright grin, and your eyes are suddenly filled with tears.

“I’m glad it’s you,” you let out in a breath. “I’m glad you’re my soulmate.”

Sirius smiles as well, and he throws back his head in an attempt to control the rush of emotions that washes over him.

It’s you. You’re his soulmate. He’s found you…

“And I just said that I didn’t want to meet my soulmate,” he laughs.

“Terrible timing, I have to agree,” you chuckle.

He looks down at you again, holding your face in his hands again, and his smile is filled with withheld tears. When he speaks again, his voice is hoarse, a little broken.

“Well… I guess it solves our issue with the divorce, huh?”

You can’t help but explode with laughter, and he does the same.

“Yeah, I guess… I guess this marriage is going to last a little more than a few months, after all…”

“Maybe I should start wearing that damn ring…”

“Could be a good idea.”

Sirius rests his forehead against yours, eyes closed, enjoying the way your breath fans over his lips…

“I’m glad too, you know?” he whispers. “I’m glad it’s you. I wanted it to be you. I wanted you to be my soulmate. Please… don’t be too disappointed that I’m yours…”

But you laugh his remark away, wrapping your arms around his neck to draw him closer to you.

“I’m not disappointed in the slightest, Sirius. But…”

“But?”

“But I would truly appreciate it if we could resume our former activity now.”

Sirius lets out a loud laugh, that sounds strangely like a bark, and you love this sound… It’s infectious, it brings a smile to your lips.

“That can be arranged…”

And before you can add another witty remark, he’s captured your mouth with his.

*******************

Taglist : @reg-arcturus-black @unofficial-jaytodd-wife

[thedumestflower]

okay so, like a year or two ago i made a really bad rant about the boyfriends webtoon and i fucking hate it, its written in bad taste and i was way to incoherent but i do wanna say this:

the boyfriends webtoon shouldn't have gotten the amount of hate it did, the creator shouldn't of been harassed or anything like that, alot of people hated it because it was gay, and alot of people hated it because how it showed gay people, but its just a cutesy and fluffy and overall harmless little comic about gay people. And you cant fault it for that, i can however, talk about my very subjective and influenced view of how is overall kind of mid as a story.

The characters feel very weak and not very realistic or intriguing to me. The creator gave them real problems and issues but the fact that everything is so cutesy and pastel, and everyone is so supportive and loving that no problem really feels like a problem, it usually gets resolved in a couple of chapters anyways, none of them are really flawed, like actually flawed in any realistic way either, im not saying they should all be tragic and sad and all hate eatch other, but i just feel like its missing a lot of things in its story. it just feels like its detached from reality. And i know its because its ment to be a comfort thing, but from my subjective and very influenced veiw its just not that good of a story.

Another thing very me specific is that the gimick that the characters have are based off of highschool tropes, and that in itself would be fun, but the creator doesn't do anything to intresting or creative with them, and they barley even conform to the tropes they claim to be, and i know the creator tries to subvert those tropes but it feels like its just falls flat (again with the characters haveing no dimension to them and feeling very disconected from reality) i could talk about this in more detail but this is already gonna be long as shit so i wont.

another problem with the story is that the characters all got together within the like, first 15 chapters of the story, and the rest of it is them just dicking around, and that would of been fine but the characters aren't interesting or intriguing or anything enough for me to care about them, and because its a romance story, i think the "will they wont they" should of been stretched out a lot longer.

something i also wanna touch a little bit on is that im not the biggest fan about how the asexual character was represented, and i know the creator is mega projecting onto him, but as a aroace myself i dont think i like the fact that the asexual was also sexualized, and again im aware that this character is a projection of the creator, and i do understand that people who are ace can and do have sex for any reason and that they are still valid, i also wanna say the main ace representation in the boyfriends webtoon, the ace representation who i feel is very sexualized, and who the creator drew actual porn of, is not a very good representation of asexuals and personally makes me uncomfortable

at the end of the day, the boyfriends webtoon is harmless, its just a cute pastel webtoon, and if you like it? then hey! good for you! you can engage in media you enjoy without other people telling you what to do, and i respect you for that! I hope you keep liking your little gay webcomic.

have a good day everybody

[notmorbid]

big swiss.

dialogue prompts from big swiss: a novel by jen beagin.

your aura is the size of a barge.

so you do have feelings?

i'm a shit-thinker, not a shit-talker.

where are you from, originally?

do you sing? are you a singer?

i don't use what happened to me as an excuse.

i'm a worker, not a wallower.

trauma doesn't get you a lifelong 'get out of jail free' card.

my siblings are dicks. i'd never die for them.

you seem disconnected from your body.

have you ever seen so many narcissists gathered in one place? be honest.

we hate all the same things.

why would you google such a thing?

people are almost never articulate about their pain.

there's not a lot of shame in this town.

it's not haunted. it's cursed, which is slightly different.

i never expected to feel this way again.

enough about me. did you have an okay childhood?

i've always been drawn to darksiders.

we just met. i don't want to scare you.

did you fit in, or were you a weirdo?

sleeping alone is my greatest unfiltered joy.

sounds like you read my diary.

call me before you do anything stupid, okay? promise.

perhaps you're unaware of it, but your every thought is written on your face.

i'm rarely lonely because i like my own brain.

anger can be cleansing, too.

better the devil you know.

aren't you afraid of getting caught?

you could talk to a hole in the wall.

i can't have more than one friend at a time.

people only live like this if they're on really good drugs.

i wish i saw myself in you.

do people say 'boss' anymore? you know, as a synonym for 'cool'?

a group of vultures is called a 'committee', which is kind of cute.

don't finish my sentences.

i don't respond well to verbal compliments. they seem phony to me.

dog parks are for people, not dogs.

did you just say what i think you said?

first thought, worst thought.

it feels like we already know each other.

i'm a thinker, not a feeler.

do i seem gay to you?

i was born with bags under my eyes.

what's more off-putting than namedropping?

i wouldn't know what to do with money, except piss it away.

are you going to make obscure references all night?

are you always this intense?

i distrust people pleasers.

you can't steal from the library. it's extremely bad luck.

luck is my only religion.

i don't feel like myself. or maybe i feel more like myself.

you've been standing there for twenty minutes.

last night i dreamed there were eight of you, and i didn't know which one was real.

i feel like you're hiding something from me, but i can't figure out what it is.

i think about you when you're not around.

don't tell me you talk to me in your head.

i fantasized about your forearms for weeks.

i might be growing a third eye.

lie next to me for a minute.

you already have what you're looking for. it's already there, inside you.

i'm feeling pretty gay, to be honest.

you look incredible for your age. you know that, right?

i watch porn now, thanks to you.

i am, in fact, a terrible actor. friend. human being.

stories change, depending on the audience. everybody knows that.

can you see what kind of night i've had?

you have the most expressive mouth i've ever seen.

you're not as detached as you think.

have you ever been happy?

i feel like a patch of moving fog, most of the time.

your ability to compartmentalize bewilders me.

you should try living in the world. or, i don't know, reading a newspaper.

i feel like i'm accessing and inhabiting one of my past lives.

i feel radicalized. ready to fight.

it's an omen. one of us is about to die.

you look more alive than you have in years.

are the words 'adult' and 'adultery' related?

i missed you. grievously.

what is that scent you're wearing?

i've been trying to ease my way into telling you about it.

before we met, i felt frozen. now i'm a puddle on the floor.

there's an air of doom about you.

you seem profoundly lonely.

so i make people want to kill themselves?

i tend to attract damaged people. broken toys.

i love being in public with you.

i am a master of the charade.

i never pity the rich.

do you consider me distant and unfeeling?

there's something actually wrong with you.

confess. unburden yourself. take responsibility.

we're not 'dating'. don't be disgusting.

i'm having an allergic reaction to your horrible personality.

i think we might be in love.

i had a very intense dream about ____ the other night.

what's happening to you?

one of the pitfalls of same-sex relationships? you can't break down in peace in public restrooms.

flowering dogwoods are bisexual. like us.

your 'tough girl' routine is pretty transparent, at this point.

it wouldn't be paranoia if i had any control over it.

you don't seem afraid to take emotional risks.

are you trying to get me to leave you?

you'll have to reinvent yourself.

do you know how many bathrooms i've cried in? thirteen.

i don't trust you right now, but i do care about you.

maybe you should try sitting with your discomfort.

i'd rather live like an animal than in some fantasy where people only have control over me if i let them.

you millennials and your utopias, i swear to god. you're so attached to your vision, to your virtue, to your supposedly good intentions. to being on the right side of everything.

why is it so dark in here?

i called and called but you weren't picking up, so i started walking.

you don't have a casual bone in your body. not one.

get under the covers. i'll sit with you until you fall asleep.

i'm always suspicious of people who openly worship their families.

if you can't even say it, maybe it's not something you should be doing.

you must have dirt on everyone in town.

i'm not done with you. i'm not sure i'll ever be.

this is a gossip-free zone.

you don't seem like a horse person.

your world seems like a good place to disappear.

you need to have more compassion for yourself.

i know my heart seems like it's in one piece, but it's not. it's all smashed up.

i was just looking for a way to feel better.

i've survived a thing or two, same as you.

you give up too easily. even in arguments.

is there anyone you actually care about?

i chose you. over and over.

i've never been more myself with anyone. including myself.

we all have an inner shithead. maybe you need to shake hands with yours.

i was too ashamed to tell you, or anyone else.

sometimes it's hard to let go of a secret companion, even if they're shitty company.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP I'm so exhausted and heart broken over this NewJeans mess. Funny thing is I got into the group after seeing you talk about them late last year, I fell in love with Ditto and started watching them closely. I saw how MHJ would treat them and smile at them in candid shots like the Lolla show, and felt at ease that they would continue to succeed with her managing them.

But since this issue started when I try to express why I'm uneasy with HYBE controlling NewJeans, I'm downvoted to negatives on reddit and qrted to hell on Twitter. Army friends have unfollowed me even though I've said I'm against the hate on BTS. I don't even stan NewJeans the way I do BTS, but because I'm critical of Hybe and siding with Ador, I'm called all sorts of names and yesterday Armys tried to suspend my account. Even BigHit's former choreographer has come out in support of Ador, other idols have publicly come out in support of NewJeans and N Capital came out to refuse Hybe's claims that MHJ met them to take Ador out. I feel things are not as Black and White as Armys are saying about this issue, and that NewJeans is under risk if MHJ leaves.

Everybody is calling me crazy and on one hand it's whatever. I know how kpop stans are in general so I'm not surprised, but I'm truly starting to worry. I started writing this ask 3 times before settling on what I've written now, because I kept getting choked up. I know its just kpop and I shouldn't be this attached, but I'm so scared BPP. Those girls are not even 2 years old as a group and their future is already looking so bleak when at the start of this year, their future was so bright. I remember you said they might technically even get a Grammy nomination this year. I feel sad and angry but I'm unable to express myself freely in all the fandom spaces I usually spend time in.

What should I do? How can I handle this? If it were you, what would you do? Sorry if this ask is super whiny but you always have good advice and I need some right now.

***

Listen, you already know what you should do. You just seem to lack the will to do it, at least that's what it seems like.

ARMY is the largest fandom in k-pop and they've deemed NewJeans as persona non grata. Most other HYBE fandoms also aren't looking too keenly on NewJeans and with how obsessive k-pop stans are in everything they do, this will be a long-term problem for NewJeans and their fandom. If Bunnies were a bigger fandom it wouldn't be too much of a problem, but they aren't, so the lifetime of the group is already halved.

If you only got into NewJeans six months ago and you're already this attached, you need a cold turkey break. Things are looking grim given the girls have expressed support for MHJ, and it's very unlikely HYBE will lose this case. Those girls are more or less done, so I'd say you should cut your losses and start detaching from them now to spare yourself more heartbreak later. Also, block the 'ARMY friends' who are downvoting, quote tweeting, and otherwise harassing you. You're in fandom to enjoy a community about the things you love, not to get stuck in never-ending arguments with people who have little else going on in their real lives.

The primary danger of k-pop, is getting sucked in. A lot of people here are fully, irredeemably sucked in. On both sides of this matter, ARMYs, Bunnies and kpoppies alike, the majority of this crowd is people who think they are normal but have lost any real semblance of perspective on what this industry is and of their place in it. You need to cut loose because you seem to already be in a somewhat fragile state, and what this space does is pervert that hurt you feel into a tribal sort of resentment.

I can't really say what I would do if I were you, because I don't feel attached to NewJeans the way you do. It's a shame the girls have become collateral damage, but given how quickly they became massively successful in this industry, this is unfortunately a more expected outcome for them, than not. It's sad, but that's the nature of things here. I like BTS, but like I've said many times before, I don't see myself as having any significant influence over their careers and choices. Whatever they choose to do with HYBE or whatever is their business, I simply keep supporting them for as long as I like them and the music they make.

This mess with HYBE is peculiar (and different from the 50-50 case) because NewJeans and ADOR are saying they don't want to leave HYBE (yet), while HYBE is punishing them as though they are asking the courts to let them leave HYBE. It's created a situation such that even if NewJeans stays or leaves, they are in a sense doomed, to be blunt. And you need to make your peace with that.

Some ideas to help:

A cold turkey break is very needed. The way you're talking about this group doesn't seem healthy. It wouldn't seem healthy if you were talking about BTS either. It might be a good idea to block anything related to k-pop for the next two weeks. Things will only get messier because the stakes are high, and HYBE has shown they have no problem going low. For your sanity, I really think you should stay away cold turkey and tightly curate your online spaces when you return.

Consider stepping away from Twitter and Reddit. I'm less familiar with Reddit but for Twitter, you have the option of making your account private, blocking the ARMYs harassing you, finding more sensible Bunnies to commiserate with, using lists to keep up with topics and accounts, etc.

Consider spending more time on Phoning. After taking some time to cool off, use NewJeans' app to connect more directly with the girls to show them love and support.

Try to focus on the music. NewJeans will have comebacks on May 24th and June 21st. The best way to support those girls now, is to focus on their music and support that. Personally, I've already ordered full sets of their albums since this might be the last ones we see with Min Heejin's creative direction. (Also, they might become collectable lol). Of course I hope that's not the case, but supporting their music is the most direct way to support the girls right now, in my opinion.

I'm sorry you're in this state, I'm even more sorry that the girls are in this state, but you need to detach and remember they have their own lives, are making their own choices, and that has nothing to do with you.

Good luck.

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

(sensitive topics ahead). it’s not just my own perspective. i would say i’m not “animal enough”, “fox enough”, but i MEAN it when i say that. it’s unfortunate, but everyone around me in real life has to get over things like this. i shouldn’t keep entertaining the idea of being something else, because it can never happen, gets me nowhere. all i do is fucking cry. i need to be a mature human being.

when i think about what i “am”, maybe i’m not much at all. the things that i want to happen, and the desires i have, make up tenfold more of my identity that the things that i already am. that’s not really an exaggeration. i find that perhaps i only exist within the things that i am not, the things that are out of reach.

i could not be any more serious when i say, i don’t want to keep going at all. i don’t want to keep going, i find myself unable to reach true fulfilment in my life. i do not wish to carry this burden, again, it is not FOR ME, somebody like me isn’t supposed to FEEL like this

i WILL make an effort to leave this behind and forget about it, at some point. maybe soon. the thought of being content with being human is a little disgusting to me. because then, that means the universe has won. and i have backed down from my position of unrest, and have settled for the life that was put upon me unwillingly. but it is how i will have to live, so i suppose that the universe has already won.

everyone talks about “doing what makes you feel good” or happy, or etc. but i’m going to do what makes me really feel like fucking shit (more than i do already) i don’t want to remain on this planet anymore if this is what i have to be like. i should be normal, like everybody else

why is it like this? i want to be normal. this probably isn’t the last post i’ll make on here (sorry) but i am asking, right now. why can’t i be normal. MATTER OF FACT; i am normal, i must emphasise that i am not an “alterhuman, etc.” so why the fuck should i feel like this? i hope i end up kicking the bucket before i ever get to find out. that’s as if i’ll get to find out at all. 20 years time, right now, i’ll be sitting in a semi-detached suburban home with kids and a wife. (i don’t even like women) 30 years time, i’ll be working overtime in the office, or fixing some machinery or something. 60-80 years from now i’ll be on my death bed where i’ll be surrounded by humans such as myself, before being sent off and remembered as the human that i am, just like the peers that surround me in real life.

i could still be happy, somehow. NOT with my body. NOT with my own identity. NOT with anything regarding myself; but i can still find short-term gratification.

it’s all been especially intense today. genuinely i WILL NOT last another month if it keeps up like this. sorry

[bfdifan26]

please do list of every burner depression i love this show so so much you should do that

okay! thank you for enabling me. disclaimer im not a Depression Expert i pretty much only know what i go through myself. have fun

ok so roomy isnt a contestant but i do wanna talk about her. i feel like the whole thing with her literally being the room can be compared to something like a kid with depression not leaving their room and just living within a tight window of reality, only ever speaking to their parents and stuff. i feel like roomy can be related to that as she literally can’t leave. like executive dysfunction the character. also her personality, only caring about being nice and not hurting others, and by doing that not letting anyone know who she really is or how she really feels

okay onto the contestants now. rosey is a very interesting character, what draws me in about her the most is her almost refusal to appear vulnerable or overwhelmed by anything, always needing a guaranteed way to do something so she knows it’ll work. this can be seen as somebody with depression relying on things in their life that they know off by heart, things like routines and rituals they perform daily, having something to fall back on and feel some normalcy through. again she’s very similar to roomy with the whole social butterfly thing

spraypaint is tricky because we’ve basically only ever seen her be like Ahh im gonna kill you be scared. but i do think she has a reason to constantly be like that towards people. nobody is ever aggressive because they like it i dont think anyone likes being on guard 24/7. i feel like she relies on her knife alot, for example in the scene where she argues with playdoh after they run into eachother, she tries to just kill him right there instead of bothering to interact with him once she gets bored of him and decides he has nothing to say that she wants to hear (based but only because it’s playdoh)

kit seems to be very self confident unlike the majority of the other characters, but for the entire time, others have kind of decided what kit is like in their heads and settled on it, based off how she appears. that being limey seeing how relaxed and inexpressive she is and that making him think that she doesn’t care about things around her. with depression it can be easy to get tired of some things, but people then assume you don’t care about anything, and that you’re just apathetic, and/or constantly thinking you’re sad when like. thats just how you look Lol. that’s what kit and how she’s treated reminds me of

speaking of limey. he’s pretty similar to spraypaint, except he’s much more sensitive, or at least outwardly. it doesn’t take much for him to feel overwhelmed and like everybody is out to get him, and he’s always trying to counter this feeling by insisting to both others and himself that he has something up his sleeve that’ll make everyone regret thinking badly of him. he’s just a very defensive character and who can blame him. oh also hes very clearly hyperfixated on the idea of being a cartoony super villain or something. it’s a part of his identity he relies ALOT on, always falling into it especially when he feels threatened

pilly is very organised and on top of everyone else, and his only fault ive noticed is his detachment. he says to record outright that he doesn’t need or want friends, and purposely blends in to make sure he isn’t noticed and nobody tries to connect with him. i think this can be 2 different things; either he just straight up doesn’t like other people and finds them draining and just another hassle, or he really would like a friend but would rather not reach out from fear of being rejected. i think it’s the first one but you can never know

peanut is another character who’s very isolated except for him it’s nobody’s fault or deliberate choice really. we’ve seen that he lives in the middle of the country out on a farm, either living on his own or with his close family. my personal idea of him involves the second one and that also fits in with this. one of peanut’s very first lines is that he doesn’t care about what happens to him and is mostly focused on doing things for others’ sake. hes seen to be used to doing the dirty work for people and to be happy with it being like this. i think peanut relies on being a helping hand since well. that’s all he really knows how to do, and how to be wanted by others

to say polaroid is overshadowed by the other characters is an understatement both in the show and outside. like i think he’s the character with the least fanart, even including the one-time cameo dudes. its a shame because he’s SO good. his most noticeable trait first up is that he can’t speak verbally, and for others to acknowledge his words they have to put effort in which. unfortunately alot of people dont. like this hes ignored easily and often, being talked over, people dragging him around and ordering him to do things without listening to what he thinks first. but despite this hes so caring, seen with him encouraging pilly even after he threatened him with elimination (have i ever mentioned i love those two’s relationship so much) and comforting roomy and going with her to help with her fears

record is like. id say one of the most depression coded objects ever. she’s shy but not the stereotypical shy archetype, questioning people’s orders and sometimes even getting frustrated with others. she’s shown to have trouble explaining herself to others, feeling like she needs to in order to be forgiven for well. Literally just standing there. not much i can say about her that hasn’t been said /agreed on already

onto hanger my favourite… hanger is again, talked over by basically everyone. she rarely has the opportunity to ‘prove herself’ to others and when she does, the credit is taken away from her and it doesn’t matter how much she yells and argues, she can never be listened to. when this happens to someone it can easily feel like nothing you do will ever work and it’s just hopeless to even think of doing anything right or impressing anybody. i wouldn’t say hanger feels like that since we’ve seen that she’s very strong willed, but that’s just the thing. she HAS to stop herself from feeling that way because nobody else will, she has nobody else to rely on.

except erasey

erasey is similar to kit with the whole under expressive thing, as well as it being seen that they kind of struggle with motivation. they seem to have a kind of omnipotence that makes it so that they know what to do and how to do it, and if it’s even worth it to try. but apart from that they don’t do much else, that’s all that’s important to them. they only try to do what they absolutely need to

i hope playdoh cries again in burner 4

[wendy3582]

The Fox Hunter

Every day I wake up with an even greater agony of having to be myself for the next 24 hours. The cup of coffee my wife had prepared has been cold for a long time. I cannot concentrate or get out of bed without stumbling across the thought of changing myself. The taste in my mouth is bitter, yet I still believe there is more life has to offer. But what does one have to do to rebrand oneself? I walk over to the mirror. I brush my ginger hair out of my face, put it behind my ears and rinse my mouth with fresh water. I never liked looking at myself mainly because the mirror only reflects what others might have said about you each time. And because, especially today, I do not feel like myself, I try everything to distract myself from thoughts like these. My wife spots immediately that my mood has gone blue, she pats my shoulder. She heats my coffee again. 

“I refuse to stay hidden away any longer, it makes me feel trapped.”

“All of us are trapped, but we are happy.”

“Everything is better in the outside world…Darling, I am almost the age my father was when he passed. I cannot stay hidden for any longer, not in this hole. I am ready for a change.”

Our kids trot down the stairs. I get up and walk over to the window carved into a wooden wall. I whistle. As I do I close my eyes, to escape. I think of my brother for a moment. The usual popular guy, always handy to everybody. I wonder what I would be like if I had gone down the same path. Always the best form, smart from all the books he would read, good at everything he touched. I cannot even fit to hold a candle to someone. The bitterness of a curse appears on my tongue again. Remember, there is always more to life than just pleasing the ones surrounding you. I stop the whistle. It is not my first time feeling this void in my chest. Melancholic emptiness and the lust after the life I could have lived if I made the decision. My father always used to tell me that if I fear something, I should take away its only power. For me, that would mean learning how to detach from certain situations. I hate the distress of hearing somebody else´s thoughts louder than my own. So, I kept my composure anytime somebody opened up to me, then regretted it. It wasn´t like me to get violent, It wasn´t like me to bite.

My all-time favourite tradition would be to watch others in the jammed outside world. See what they are up to each day and secretly wish I could join them. The pit in my stomach would hold me back. My kids are yelling at each other again. They remind me of me and my brother, they fight because they are different. One is confident, honest, extroverted, dim-witted while the other is a loner, who would prefer to crawl under his bed and never come downstairs for dinner again. I do not blame him, he cannot be underestimated. He is a dreamer who happened to be born in the wrong body. He fears his brother even though he would actually never hurt him, he does it for the thrill of it. Just like all the people I see from the window. And if one does it all of them follow. I have no idea why, after all, only dead fish follow the stream.

I carry on with my day. I work hard on a project I planned with our neighbours. We chat and they invite me for an afternoon cup of warm liquor, I can never say no to that. Even though you could say we are different breeds we all want the same. A secure space without the lack of food or water. I cannot disagree with the fact that we live from hand to mouth, which would be perfectly fine with me if there was enough food for all of us. For the past months, we met up one evening each week and tried to come up with a solution. Until we thought of one. I pictured the people behind my window, how they were all perfect and had everything they needed. This was our only chance to save us. The system had failed us, and we had to do something with it. 

And there I was out with lanterns looking for something to live off of but mostly trying to find myself. My feet were sore and the air was humid, thicker than ever. I left home in order to help my children, my wife. A cold evening and a revolutionary day. When I touched the land of the nameless keeper, there was no ecstatic chatter coming from the magical place I had tracked days ago. Only my heavy breath coming out of the very bottom of my lungs. This was the day I finally escaped from the place I so boldly called a hole. What is life without experience? This was all I ever wanted…or wasn´t it?

I got closer than ever to unlocking something that had been kept away from me my whole life. Maybe once I found it I would be finally considered as ambitious as my brother or as fearless as my father. One by one, my steps led to this lit up space I imagined visiting my entire maturity. As I looked around I immediately smelled some fresh food. In fact, enough food for my whole family and all of our neighbours. The pit in my stomach moved to my throat. I was ready to give everything up for the risk of saving my tribe. I imagined it all like a game, where there were two kinds of players. The hunters and the prey. It was either to be a player or to be played. I felt the envy boiling inside me. I could not sleep for three nights wondering how I was going to get up and be myself for the next 24 hours, while the people, who lived a stone´s throw away from me, had everything I had ever dreamt about. There was no going back now, I thought. I am an inch away from the life I would die to have, I earned it.

I reached for my price. My steps got louder, I was determined. The lights flashed before my eyes. There was nowhere to run. I heard sounds and saw creatures I had not seen before. I stole the food and ran. However, something wasn´t sitting right with me. I felt some sense of relief when my feet stepped on the soft grass in the outer world, however, there was this thing I could not escape. It had followed me ever since I got to this place. My body stiffs as I see a shadow lurking behind me. Deep down I know what I am doing is not right, the food wasn´t mine to touch. I drop everything as I release the clench I so desperately held in my jaw and turn around, to face the person standing behind me.

But it wasn´t a person. A creature with the body of a human and the mind of the devil himself. With a scratched, oblong object pointed right at me. I feel myself shake as I take a step back to show I come in peace. The creature pulls the trigger. The system I had thought had failed us was never broken, it was built this way.

I will never change. I lower my fox ears, he fires the bullet.

PS: Hey guys! This is officially my first post & first short story in English. Hope you enjoy! See you next time🙌🏻🧡

[rainbowtvz]

simp is aave. stop misusing aave. (literally just look up "what is aave carrd" and figure it out.)

doubles is a kinnie term. as a kin myself, yes i am gatekeeping that word. people who share your f/os are not doubles because it inherently implies that you AND the sharer are somehow the same person whether that's both BEING your f/o or you have the same s/i. you are not using it correctly. it's annoying and confusing. doubles is a derogatory term anyway for people who share your kins that you do not like. (kintwins would be for people you do like.)

^ i've been on kinblr and numerous other otherkin AND fictionkin spaces i know what i'm talking about.

minority coding is important. if your f/o is coded as being a minority and you do not acknowledge that then you need to re-examine that. yes this is about trans headcanons too.

^ two examples: chihiro from dangan ronpa being a poorly written but widely accepted transfem character. and danny phantom having a common headcanon as being transmasc. the first one if you discard chihiro being a transfem and make her a guy, cis or trans, it's erasing her identity. this is transmisogyny at worst and ignorant as fuck at best. the second one if you discard this headcanon or make it so danny is transfem instead, it has no greater impact or implication of prejudice or bigotry. vice versa, their headcanons about danny's gender has literally 0 impact on your interpretation of his character and his gender. you do not have to subscribe to those headcanons and can go with your own or go with canon, but you need to re-examine why exactly you very specifically do not like those headcanons.

^ people projecting transness onto characters they like is often to find representation in them, or for coping, or both, to deny them of that because you simply disagree is.. odd and speaks volumes. cis selfshippers please think critically about that. i feel a lot of you are detached from overall fandom ettiquette and common ways for queer people to engage with media outside of the hyperspecific bubble that is selfshipping. we're all gonna annoy each other (selfshippers and nonselfshippers) at some point but painting yourself as being transphobic because you view your f/o as cis Only is only going to cause you grief. let people enjoy things. you don't have to look at it, just like they don't have to look at your stuff. this is okay.

plaese for the love of god please stop putting your vents in the community tags. (i've blocked or have been blocked by a majority of the people who do this but its making it feel dreary here.)

if u harass others for doing/saying something you don't like or agree with or for someone having an opinion about something you care about or about you in particular (that they aren't even being public about) then you suck and maybe u should at least take a break if not just leave entirely. (sideeyes some people)

blocking is a tool to affirm boundaries. people are allowed to block whoever they want, whenever they want, for whatever reason they want. and it's okay for you to do the same. it's okay for people to not like each other. not everybody IS going to like you and that's okay too.

callouts are for people doing active harm, or people who HAVE done active harm who have not grown and changed as a person since they did it. nobody care if they vagued u bc u share an f/o. practice utilizing the blocking tool. ^ this is not about wishing harm on others or stalking this is about petty shit that does not fall under that lol

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

pro/com/etc shippers please smash your computer into dust no one likes you or wants you here

[ummick]

Mick’s Diary: Finding Gains in the Simulator

Hello, we’re back with another chapter of my diary with the team.

We last spoke before the summer break and that was a long time ago! Having a break during the season is very important. I think it’s getting more and more important as more races are added. Some teams don’t have the opportunity to do shifts and change personnel, so having the chance to unwind is vital. For me, it was a good break; a nice opportunity to rest for a bit and detach from motorsport, but also get ready for the second half of the year. Whenever I have some time off to unwind and relax I always like to do a lot of different things, trying to do new things and find the best way to switch off, which is very different from person to person. The last races that we did in Europe were my last two overnight sims doing race support. Now we’re well into the flyaways, with Singapore, Japan and now Qatar done. I spent some time in Tokyo and went to Australia between Japan and Qatar. Now I’m very excited for the next races. I’ve continued to settle into the team through the year and get to know more and more of my colleagues. I really enjoy being around the people. It’s incredible to be able to learn from all these great minds. I’ve been curious in getting to know everybody better and embed myself within the team. There were a few relationships from before joining that have helped. It’s been good to get to know the people that worked with my dad and all the new colleagues too. It's been nice to feel the enthusiasm about the simulator work across the year and with those final two overnight sessions. We’ve made some good progress in developing the car and that’s been cool to see. The overnight sims are obviously quite tiring, so it’s rewarding when you see something come out of it. We have a lot of work to get through, though, so you’re totally focused on that. We try to tick every box and help the team for the rest of the weekend. I’ll now be trackside across the whole weekend for these remaining grands prix. In my role as reserve driver, I need to be ready to jump in the car should Lewis or George not be able to drive. If I were back in the simulator at Brackley, I wouldn’t be able to do that. While my simulator work has mostly focused on W14, there have been plenty of learnings that are also useful for the future. The development of W15 started quite a while ago. It’s really an on-going progress. Everything we learn from this year’s car along the way feeds into next year, and we’ve learned a great deal. Everyone is working so hard to develop the best possible car we can for the start of next year. And in the background, there’s work on my own plans for next year. These are still evolving and it’s just a matter of trying to understand exactly which direction we can go in, how to fit in the commitments and things like that. It just takes time. As always, thanks so much for all the support, the kind words and comments I see. I hope you’ve enjoyed the insight this time around and I’ll speak to you later in the year.

[apocketfullofpoesis]

I stopped categorising myself as a "Swiftie" or a "fan" when I noticed silence from her on so many important things, she should've spoken on (obviously, her choice; still). i got into her because of a few songs on 1989 (I was in the 7th grade and it was considered really cool at school if we'd listen to English songs. Everybody started with taylor) and then I got back to her when reputation came because she was everywhere - it was quite inevitable and attractive. I stuck through lover because I went through my first heartbreak (I was 15) and most of the songs on it spoke things to me I needed to say to myself. All too well made enough noise I had to check it out. Again not most songs on red, except the mainstream ones. I didn't get into folklore and Evermore right when they were dropped. I stumbled upon "August" while I was in a situationship in 2022 summer and yk i had to just explore. College started I made friends with a girl and she was a hard-core Swiftie. Speak Now, Red, all that stuff. I had to act like I was one as well so that she doesn't make me feel condescending. Now we aren't friends anymore. And I'll agree the Swiftie fandom is kinda delusional and intimidating (saw it first hand). Midnights was okayish for me, but my earlier choices remained the same (folklore, lover). I had proud hopes from TTPD because I'm an english lit major (and a really proud one as all of us should be). I was ready to start fresh and go feral. Haven't been able to wrap it all up - I mean it's like 31 songs on it. I make edits on these songs on my ig to make myself remember which song is which - what lyrics belong to which song and at the end of the day, which song i like - same reason why I post lines from her lyrics here on my tumblr. The purpose of this rant is to know about all the boycott blondie movement that's going on. I'm genuinely curious. I'm using the tag because I want y'all to give your views. I'm also scared of giving her up entirely because I've already detached myself from her personal life and i like her songwriting. I only relate to her art. So do enlighten me.

[comfreyhollywings]

there's a tarot reading i did the other day when i talked about you. there's rose incense i'm currently burning. its fragrance hits the back of my throat, and it's welcoming to me. this is a ritual i have always done whenever i want to dedicate my time, space, and energy for you.

the keywords of that reading is: the weight of the world is on your shoulders and i want you to know something.

you are my anchor and have always been it. you know me just as much as i know you; every single side of me. manic, calm, spiraling, or absolutely overjoyed.

you can tell me if i'm overstepping, and feel free to tell me to stop. but here's what i've observed: the world is me. i'm your world.

you haven't said it through words in particular, but you have told me through your actions. i speak prayers and you always answer. every single time without fail. and when i told you i wanted to move towards the next stage in my work and love life, you immediately moved me to a position where i could receive it.

my boyfriend is the month of august, and i am a behavioral technician. as someone still studying the law as an undergraduate, i'm still learning the reigns and that is okay. i pressure myself to be in a position to pay more bills. i'm learning self-care as i order from door dash. i cook more often. sometimes i go manic and immerse myself in scenarios still. i'm seriously considering a second job as a community assistant for a government job.

i joke about my joints popping. the economy of the world. the concept of the self. bam, i get mistaken as someone who's older than i actually am. whether i'm in my thirties or mid twenties.

i'm twenty.

 odd. if it was someone else, i would've thought the world was as their fingertips. the thing is that i've never felt more inadequate before in my life. this inadequacy stains my cheeks and desecrates the stupid part of my brain always craving 'worth'. i have to be worth something.

what i'm really afraid of is not living up to everybody's expectations. but they're not my expectations, are they?

knowing that's me is.. shocking. what /is/ the concept of me??

you had once described me as someone 'aquarian-themed', detached and solitary, but still so loving. dreamy and almost out of this world. remote. you had accurately described what i was like as a person, and i couldn't help but crack a smile. like we were telling an inside joke. it's true i had aquarius placements in my natal chart, but i hadn't thought too much about it until you brought it up.

but the thing is, when you brought it up—you made me realize a key point about myself: i am deathly and deeply afraid. i am scared of human connection. this is why i isolate. and you are reeling me out of this foggy forest, chanting:

'no love however brief is wasted.

no love however brief is wasted.

no love however brief is wasted.'

figuratively, i am kicking and screaming while you drag me out. a part of me wishes it stayed stuck in that forest. except, i know that's just the familiarity talking. isolation is addicting but it makes you a husk of a person; a mere observer as a husk of a person. you don't interact; but that's not the same with others. you'd watch others interact with anything.

so okay, here's what i think. i think you're.. a lot.

not in a way where someone so much as looks at a person and thinks, 'oh, they're a lot!' as a way to otherwise tell them that there's no space in their lives; that they should water themselves down.

love is naturally, a lot. love is the most terrifying, brutal force in existence asides from genuine war. love is what makes you buckle down onto your goddamned country after being bombed, and holding on for dear life while you attempt to protect your citizens. love will naturally correlate with war; and it has always been that way. manic love will either blindside you to the worse, or uplift you in bliss.

there's a literal goddess of love looking out for me; being able to pin me down on the dot while i stare like a deer in headlights.

essentially what i'm trying to say is: being vulnerable has made me realize i don't have to work for love.

isn't that terrifying?

[brongusthearcanist]

Here's my hottest fantasy take: I did not like Fonda Lee's Green Bone Saga. I desperately wanted to, I read and completed the first 2 books, and I didn't really like either of them. And I feel bad for not liking it because it isn't about the story at all, I do not like the style in which it was told. Lee put a lot of work into this series and it's very obvious, the passion is there. But I felt like I was reading a text book of the history rather than sitting through a narrative. So much of the books are just Lee telling you what has happened in the past couple days and then starting a scene, which makes me feel really detached from important events that have occurred. To the point that when we do have a really emotional scene, where the characters are feeling things and I'm involved, I feel nothing, because I've been viewing these characters like they are historical figures that I'm being tested on, rather than characters that I'm supposed to empathize with in a story. Again the story on paper is pretty interesting, and the characters are flawed and should be compelling, I just never felt connected to them. I read the first book and didn't like it and thought "well everybody loves this so maybe I'll like the next one" and then I finished the second book and didn't like it and thought "well everybody loves this so maybe I'll like the next one", but then I realized that I really didn't care what about the story or how it ended, and that I definitely should by that point if I'm gonna read the next one, so I dropped it. No flack to anyone who likes it, I'm still kinda mad at myself cause I feel like I'm missing something, but I was paying attention, I was just never invested.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

"I think that lots of things that I thought were possible before that was posted, don’t seem possible now." This is really interesting to me, because I've been following you a while and I never really felt that I knew what you think was possible re Harry and gender?

From what I have seen and read, Harry has never expressed a nuanced interest in this topic more than "everybody should be kind to everybody, and that includes women". Even worse, there have been terrible, terrible takes last year. For me, the whole Pleasing nonsense is way worse than the Pilates stuff - is he seriously selling anti aging crap to teenagers??? And the way he talked about queer films? That still makes me so angry, to the point that I'd prefer not to have Harry speaking on politics, gender and social issues at all.

To me, the missing "there, there" is really important in this context, because I also think that he is closeted. 25 years ago, when I was 18 years old, I was absolutely okay with everybody thinking that my parents might be abusive rather than people knowing that I was getting love bites from another girl. Mindboggling now. I've always had a good relationship with my parents, knew even then that they would be fine with me being a lesbian and I didn't live in a conservative environment at all. Still the fear of being forced out of the closet made me oblivious to everything else around me, it paralyzed me and I had no space for thinking about collective social issues.

Obviously Harry's situation is very different, but I see myself (and a lot of my queer friends) in him waffling nonsense and making bad choices (subjectively 'bad' to me at least) from a frightening closet. When he talked about his panic about being perceived as "somebody who has sex" or "people seeing how he kisses", it was really painful to me, like him playing Tom was painful to me, too. I hope therapy goes well for him if he wants that.

Being a 'new, meterosexual' man, who is sexy but also detached, might be a kind of compromise for Harry. Which it obviously isn't, and that is why people are missing the 'there, there' at a closer look. It is lacking authenticity, which I've seen mentioned in the media for the first time this year. My guess is that Harry and his team are aware of it and playing for time (3-5 more fat years?) but what do I know...

Of course nobody is forcing him to endorse the Pilates studio, but maybe it's something like "Harry, we'll give a short clip to the pilates study so you can have a three week holiday with your partner safely, is that alright?". 18 year old me would have said yes and not asked more questions, I'd just been happy to have three weeks without fearing to be dragged out of the closet. Might sound dramatic, but to me Harry's anxiety is palpable a lot of the time in the way he treats his body and, more lately, the things he says (which, again, might be wrong and 100% projection on my part).

Making his choices under circumstances he doesn't choose from when he was 16 years old is a lot. Maintaining a closet is a lot, even if you're not a popstar with millions of eyes on you, hundreds of peoples' livelyhood depending on you, and a partner who is in a similar but also very different position. It's a lot and I feel for Harry.

--

Sorry for this novel, I just love to read your thoughts and am checking obsessively if you reply to my anons. Lately I've saved them so that I might re-read my own thoughts later, like a diary. Strange but I guess there are stranger things on the internet ; )

Thanks for your thoughts anon - it's so awesome to hear that asking anons helps you process stuff. I'm going to respond to a couple of different things in here, but if there's something that you're super interested in that I miss.

That's a great starting point - what did I used to think was possible when it comes to Harry and gender. To focus a little bit on the politics of it - so his response to gender in society - not just as it relates to him - I think there are a wide variety of options. To give one example - he could have a visceral aversion to statements that 'men are like this and women are like this'. He could also have a political understanding that statements that men are one way and women are another are quite harmful. I think it's unlikely that he would go even further and feeling like it's important that he's part of changing that, but I wouldn't have said it's impossible. He also could not really have any thoughts about it all - when he sees a sentence like 'It's not just for girls, it separates the men from the boys' - he could just think 'that sounds reasonable'

Obviously now I think the possibilities cluster much more strongly around 'that sounds reasonable', but before the interview any of those could have been true.

*******

I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences and the way that they have shaped you. I'm so glad to hear that things are better from you and you have a good relationship with your parents. I hope you are kind to your younger self - her anxiety was a reasonable response to the world she

I totally agree that Harry's anxiety is palpable in a lot of what he does and how he interacts with the world. I think the 'people will know how I kiss' comment is an excellent example as are much of the other things you mention.

But in this case, I think understanding this through the lens of the closet doesn't bring any insight. In particular, in the way that you frame it - as if someone is giving this clip so that he can have time with his partner - there's absolutely no reason to believe that's true. Harry can have three week holidays with his partner without anyone knowing (wealth buys you that). The idea that this video would be seen to directly matter by Harry, or anyone working for him, doesn't make any sense with how we've seen him navigating the closet

That doesn't mean that there's not some connection. Anxiety works in mysterious ways and there could be all sorts of things going on for Harry. But I think imagining a straight forward 'he's doing this because he's anxious that otherwise he'll be outed' - is an over simplification that probably reveals more about your anxiety than Harry's.

********

I do agree that Harry's closet is central to the question of 'is there a there there'. I remember listening to the Harry episode of Popcast - and it felt like they were dancing around the possibility of him being closeted - but I don't think they were - I think they were just describing the gaps they saw.

But I think it's easy for fans to assume that the feeling that there's no there there is entirely caused by the closet. I think it's far more complicated than that - because I think it's also something about Harry that enables him to be such a successful blank space - and that wouldn't suddenly change when he was out.

In particular, I don't think the fact that we're both 'no Harry, speak less about politics' would necessarily change just because he was out (there are plenty of out queer musicians who have said cringe things now and in the past). I think he'd probably be a little more articulate if he wasn't so afraid, but only a little. I think the way that he's unwilling to be clear about whether he's talking about himself or the world is shaped by the closet, but that doesn't mean that he would disappear. I think he could build up a centre, if he came out, but I don't think it's inevitable that he would.

**********

I've been really frustrated by the silence in response to that statement and that's led to me responding with the boldest, brashest version of what I think.

So here's another way of expressing the same idea. What if Harry did support the message of that video? What if it did reflect part of his worldview?

There are other explanations - but the fact that he agreed with something that he put his image to is always going to be the most likely one. And I think it's worth Harry's fans, particularly those who argue about what he's really like or talk as if they know what he's like, sitting with that possibility. And either including that view in what Harry might be like, or accepting that what they're talking about is not what Harry is like, but who they want him to be.

[muffinhyunjin]

Park Adventure

Sakura Miyawaki

Words: 2.111 words

Tags: Pissing, Piss Play, Squirt, Bestiality, Armpit licking

8 PM, Sakura was bored after playing with her Nintendo, she played too many games for hours already.

"I think I need to take a rest, my eyes and hands are already tired from playing these games for hours."

She puts her Nintendo down on the table then sits on the stool for a while, stretches her hands and body while thinking about what she should do after playing games for hours.

"Damn, what should I do? I wanted to do something but I didn't want to play games again... Why is this so frustrating for me?" she confused while scratching her head.

She suddenly got an idea, an unusual idea for her.

"Ah, how about I go to the park but I'm going to be running naked in there? That would be so interesting. I need to get ready." She chuckles.

She prepares everything. Her phone, earphones, and bottle. She only wears a sports bra and running shorts and doesn't use panties to make it easier for her later.

She runs from her apartment to the nearest park on a cold and peaceful night. Only slight traffic, some cricket, and stars in the sky accompany Sakura's run to the park.

===================================

She arrived at the park, peeked to the left and right to make sure that nobody was passing by her, and started to detach her sports bra and pull down her shorts immediately, leaving them on the bench. The cold wind immediately hits her bone after she undoes her outfit.

"Let's get started and do this thing. It's going to be fun and a new experience for me. This cold wind won't make me sick. I'm strong."

She runs for a round on the jogging track, meeting another runner in the park, the runner is shocked by what Sakura is doing. But she continues to run and continues the challenge. Her tits are bouncing so much and everybody is seeing her, but she doesn't care at all because she likes it so much, and she gets turned on by what after just gone on to her. She likes it when everyone sees her tits bouncing while she is running.

She stops for a while, takes a seat, and regulates her breath to relax.

"Fuck, I'm so exhausted but that is so hot. Everyone is glimpsing at my pussy and tits. I guess they liked my pink shaved pussy and bouncing tits. Probably they wanted to rape the fuck out of my body. Even if they did it, I won't fight them either. Let them use my body, using all of my holes, treating me like a fuckdoll. I wanted to be fucked and ruined in public. I don't care about what people say. I am a cockslut for my friends either, so what?"

"This kind of thing turns me on so much, I think I need to fuck myself now, but I need to pee first. But where should I pee? Do I need to record while I'm taking a piss? Maybe I need to try it ~" she giggles and smiles in a devilish way.

She looked to the left and right, and she couldn't locate any public restroom to pee.

"Damn it, there isn't any restroom here, where should I pee though? On the grass? On the side of the lake?" she confused while straightening her hair.

"Well, what can I do? Whether I like it or not, I have to do it here hehehe ~" she chuckles, then she blushes and her face turns red.

She unlocked her phone, opened the camera, and put her phone in landscape mode. She started recording herself and making sure that the video was good and that she could see herself on the video. The red flashes started to blip, and then she started to squat behind the bench, making sure that nobody would see her peeing carelessly in the park. a little yellow drip started to come out from her pussy, and a yellow stream started to come out, fresh and warm from her bladder.

She spreads out her pussy, and plays with her yellow stream, aiming in an uncertain direction, going to the left and right. After that, she puts her hand on the flowing piss, making her hand wet and smells like urine.

"Gosh, It feels so good peeing here hehe, I'm so naughty here. I hope that I won't get caught ~"

The flowing yellow stream comes to an end, she cleans her pussy with water from the bottle that she brought before. She stops the video recording and looks at the video that she recorded before. She's satisfied with what she accomplished.

"God... I am so hot in the video... Do I need to save it for myself or post it on the internet? I guess I should ~"

She opens her social media and posts it online. She sends the video to some of her friends too. She got some naughty replies which caused her horniness to increase. She's desirous to fuck herself in the park.

"Fuckk I need to touch myself right now, I can't hold it anymore, I am so needy to be fucked..."

She spreads her pussy wide and rubs her clit slowly but surely. Then she puts her fingers inside her wet pussy to pleasure herself. Sakura moans loudly and whimpers until she reaches her G-Spot.

"Oh fuck... Ahhh this is so fucking good, so good aghhh ~"

Sakura fucks herself harder and harder while rubbing her pink nipples and moans. She was filled with lust. She couldn't stop moaning.

"Yes, please... harder please ahh, make me cum make me cum, harder please, make me cum, don't stop ~"

She pleasures herself until her pussy is wet and swollen. Sakura orgasms and squirts everywhere. Sakura created a pure mess, her wet fingers, wet pussy, and puddles on the ground. She's huffing. Sakura sweats a lot from what she is doing. After that, she takes and tastes her fresh, and warm juice from her pussy.

"Mmm... It tasted so good... I guess I am going to be addicted to this, I cannot believe that I tasted so good"

Sakura takes more of her juice from her pussy using her fingers and licks it clean. She takes extra of her liquids until nothing is left.

Now that her pussy is clean already, Sakura wakes up and continues to run again for another kilometer, until she meets a stray dog.

"Oh hello little cutie, what are you doing here? Are you lost? Where is your owner?"

She pats the dog and plays with the dog for some time. Then, the dog begins to behave oddly. Sakura couldn't figure out what the dog wanted.

"Oh, what you want from me little cutie? I don't know what you want"

The dog acted strange, it acted like it wanted to fuck Sakura. The dog is jumping and humping Sakura's leg.

"Hey, what are you doing? You're going to fuck me? That is what you want? Well, if you wanted to, I can pleasure you, little cutie ~"

She lowers herself and plays with the dog first. Sakura rubbed the dog's belly and saw the dog was fully erecting. At first, Sakura hesitates to do what she is going to do, she thinks twice. But with the full intention of the new experience, she motivates herself. She makes the dog lie down, started to lick the dog's dick, and sucking it slowly. Sakura played with the dog's cock playfully and without hesitation from herself. Thankfully the park is quiet already, the park visitors are coming back to their own home already.

"You liked it, little cutie? You liked it when I licked and sucked your tiny, small, and smelly cock? huh? hehehe, I guess you liked it ~"

Sakura giggled and started to laugh because she just could not believe what she was doing. She can't believe that she is delighting an animal, not a human. The dog can only bark and cannot answer Sakura's thoughts.

"My God... I can't believe I did this, licking an animal cock and pleasuring it. Now what am I now? A zoophile?"

"But somehow this experience is so good, I've never done this kind of heated thing before, I usually simply fulfill my friend's lustful desire with my cheap pussy and asshole. They fuck me relentlessly all night just to fulfill their lust. Using me no more than a fuckdoll, only a free-use meat, and I need to serve my holes whenever they want. And now I am going to be fucked by an animal. A dam dog. What a cheap slut I am, not looking at any creatures, just a pleaser for everyone, and wanted to be fucked by anything."

Sakura starts to bend over on the ground, waiting for the dog to fuck her tiny pussy, and spreads both of her holes.

"Come here cutie, use my holes freely, choose where you want to put inside your small cock, I wouldn't be mad <3"

Sakura spanks her ass, telling the dog to come to her. Without any uncertainty, the dog sniffs and licks Sakura's pussy. After that, the dog mounts itself to Sakura and pounds her relentlessly on her pussy. Sakura only can moan but she is satisfied with what the dog is doing.

"Good boy, please fuck me like that, fuck me like I am an animal too, cutie. Use me as your cumdump, fill me with your seed. don't stop it, let me satisfy your lustful desire, cutie ~"

Sakura moans loudly and looks at the dog. She still couldn't believe that she is fucked by a dog right now.

The hound thrusts harder into Sakura's body, and Sakura moans getting louder and louder, She plays with her tits while the dog is still pounding, and plays with her tits while the hound is still pounding making her pussy wet once again. She only could remain silent while tears started to fall from her face because the dog was pounding her pussy relentlessly. Now she is covering her mouth to muffle her moans to make sure that nobody is hearing her whining and being fucked by a dog.

"Cutie please stop it, stop it please cutie, Im gonna cum ahh ~ cutie please stop it AHHH IM CUMMING IM GONNA CUM CUTIE STOP IT PLEASEEE FUCK CUTIE YOU FUCK ME SO GOOD ~"

Sakura squirts together with the dog cumming inside her pussy. Cum drips from her pussy while the dog runs away into the bushes and disappears. Sakura lay down limp on the ground unable to do anything, she couldn't even get up to stand.

"Ahh fuck, that animal fucks my pussy so good... Sadly it is tiny, but that was a damn feral experience for me."

She sighed, and then she tried to get up and sit down for a while, retaking her energy to walk back. Sakura sweats a plenty once again from what she is doing with the hound. While sitting, she looked down at herself and looked at her whole body. At that point, she looked at her sweaty armpits.

"Damn, why are my pits so sensual when I am so sweaty? Take a pics again I guess? hehehe..."

Sakura opened her phone and took some pics of her sweaty armpits using a seductive facial expression. She also took some pics of her licking her pits.

She closed her phone again, and she continued to worship her own body. She kisses, sniffs, and licks her armpits both left and right. She did it without any reluctance. She's fallen in love with her own body.

Without her realization, the moon was getting higher and higher, the wind was getting colder. Sakura opened her phone and the time indicated that it was 10:30 PM already. She gets up and walks back to the bench where she puts on her sports bra and shorts.

Sakura put her sports bra and shorts on and walked back to her apartment.

===================================

Sakura arrived at her apartment safe and sound. She immediately goes to the bathroom and cleanses herself after all of the wildness that she is doing at the park. After she is done cleaning herself, she comes out of the bathroom naked. She dries herself and thinks of something.

"Meh, I don't want to sleep with any outfits tonight, I'm too slothful hehehe ~"

Sakura enters her bedroom and gets into bed. She looked up at the ceiling, still thinking about what she had done in the park.

"My Gosh... What I have done tonight is insane, from pissing relentlessly to fucked by a dog... Maybe I should do that again ~"

Sakura closes her eyes, and she falls asleep.