#I should at this point own a cheese knife even though I’m not entertaining anyone

[dykeredhood]

Claire Randall: I’ve never owned a vase 🤝 me: why don’t I own a cheese knife

[angryteapott]

A reflection on why the introductory episodes of Alchemy of Souls part 2 are putting me off so much, featuring mild spoilers:

(TLDR if you like AoS’s softer female lead as of part two ep two, I really think you’ll like the show Lighter & Princess even though it’s contemporary. Check it out!!)

To be honest, I think the reason I’m grumpy about the current direction is the exact reason other people are liking it. While both seasons lean into the salt and fat style of making entertainment (always tastes better with More), part one uses breakneck pacing and shenanigans as it’s flavoring (which I prefer) where part 2 is using wildly popular romance tropes.

IMO, part one’s buddy comedy feel suits AoS’s anachronistic hairstyles, fast and tone flopping dialogue (that part where naksu almost gives uk to the soul shifter and instead of going all angsty they have him go “hey!” never fails to crack me up) and balls to the wall world building. It’s a romance, but a romance of two people who are first and foremost partners in chaos and who treat their goals as seriously as they treat each other. While a lot of its elements are common fare for its wuxia roots (ie introducing a new technique, saying it’s impossible, and giving the MC a hack to do it anyways within 10 minutes), AoS part 1 makes itself feel fresh by not lingering on its own self importance but instead on how batshit, amoral and funny its main characters are for using duct tape power ups as they scrabble towards the finish line, all while delivering surprisingly solid character arcs that emotionally anchor the decisions about arbitrary magical problems. It reminds me of the first few episodes of sword snow stride if sword snow stride thought women were people. In other words, it’s an absolute banger.

And now part two has launched, the ostensibly darker finish. After the teasers I personally was hoping “darker” meant the same pedal to the metal feel while it treated itself less lightly. However thus far (although it’s early days), this season’s MSG seems to be “dark” id appeasing romance tropes . They’re leaning into the fairytale elements more, which could be fun, but with this comes a closed off ML/ wide eyed FL romance and resultant overwrought angst (FL in her rapunzel era! she cries defeated until he whisks away the boat!! Marriage of convenience!!! Uwu she’s too insecure to even try with the lantern :(!! “She’s my wife” FL starstruck moment 🤩!!!). Which I’m not against as a concept, by the way!! I mean I just devoured lighter and princess and that’s a whole cheesefest. But thus far naksu’s uncut sweetness makes the simultaneous attempts at chaotic hilarity not land for me, and it doesn’t really jive with the previous emotional knots driving character actions approach as much as it does an angsty arbitrary romantic drama. Case in point is the writing giving the actress very Naksu ACTIONS (entrap a strong husband at all costs!!!) while direction is likely what’s making her give the most calf eyed, spaced out performance as she does it, which barely even makes sense. She doesn’t look frustrated at all with her “mom” for trapping her, even though she plans on escaping (and wrecking the jin reputation and harming her “mom”) in the next scene? She’s desperate enough to say something as vicious as jang uk’s so alone that he should marry anyone willing, but with a soft, spineless tone? Sheltered rich girls can have a spine, just see Lighter & Princess! For me, the screenshot parallels people are posting are the real knife in the gut- why are season one’s expressions so good while season two’s are just slightly confused? The hair is still wacky, the world building’s still like swiss cheese, and everyone else is still trying to banter… and I’m supposed to be swept into this played straight disney princess routine? While people seem to be loving the love affair, I keep waiting for why I watched in the first place.

That said, Uk and the crown prince still have mad beef in a way that feels both emotionally honest and funny (CP’s reaction to the wraiths was exactly what that plot point needed to deflate its self importance), and evil guy fieri remains delightfully schemey. So maybe they’ll bring the magic back!! For now, everyone else seems to be eating up the tropes, so maybe I’ll just stay grumpy alone.

[quaggathemighty]

Stepsister, by Jennifer Donnelly: an emotional, messy review.

Recommended For: fantasy, ya, feminist, fairy tale, coming of age stories, girl protagonist, adventure lovers

         This will be as close to a spoiler-free review as I can make it.

"It's the hunger in our hearts that kills us."

Have you ever read a book that so thoroughly encompassed everything you ever wanted to put on paper? That ripped into the deepest part of you and dragged you along by your emotions until you're raw and hopeful and shattered and fired up all at once? Because I just have.

The Summary:

“Isabelle should be blissfully happy - she's about to win the handsome prince. Except Isabelle isn't the beautiful girl who lost the slipper and captured the prince's heart. She's the ugly stepsister who cut off her toes to fit into Cinderella's shoe... which is now filling with blood.

When the prince discovers Isabelle's deception, she's turned away in shame. It's no more than she deserves. She cut away pieces of herself in order to become pretty. Sweet. More like Cinderella. But that only made her mean, jealous, and hollow. Now she has a chance to alter her destiny and prove what ugly stepsisters have always known:

It takes more than heartache to break a girl."

My Thoughts:

Isabelle is not pretty. She's jealous and she struggles and while she fiercely loves her sister she often feels lost and afraid, or angry and hateful to the world that left her behind. She cut off her toes because her absolutely mad mother demanded it, heating a knife over the fire while she berates her into obeying, and as a result Isabelle's bitterness and jealousy might even kill her. But as the story unfolds she's also breathtakingly passionate and brave and confident and fiery, and she grows a lot over the course of the story, learning to set aside what everyone else has labeled her (and indeed sometimes what she's labeled herself because of their cruelty), to become her own woman. She's strong and real and well written, and I love her. I want to be her. Goddamn I want every girl to be her. To be their own Elizabeth, Yennenga, Abhaya Rani. Strong, brave, dangerous. Beautiful in their own right, and not always on the surface like the world wants.

"Each queen was once a girl like you. Told who to be and what to do. Not pretty, not pleasing, far too rough. Til wounded subjects, anguished dead, mattered more than things the others said. Then, like a flag, her will unfurled. Go now, girl. Remake the world."

UUUGHhhh. Can we just talk about this book PLEASE? Can this get more of a following so I can scream and rave and flail and ugly cry with more people who loved this book? Oh my god. There are so many things about this book I like, from the way she fought for and protected her sister, to the way she grew to see past the jealousy her mother instilled in her against Ella, to the way it doesn't pit the girls against each other for their vastly different strengths. Well, except for one, but I'll get to that.

The book opens up on what has to be one of the most heart-wrenching, cringe-worthy scenes I've ever read in a young adult novel, and it's that scene with the cutting of the feet and the bloody shoes (yes, from the original myth, this ain't no Disney remake, y'all, it gets gory and doesn't hide from it) is what made me actually come back and buy the book. Isabelle had me by the heartstrings the whole goddamn read. For a girl who never grew up as conventionally attractive, who was always too loud or too brash or never had the right interests (witchcraft, necromancy, and vampires, anyone? No? Don't hide your cringe years from me, I know you had them too), seeing a book properly take these oddities and this 'ugliness', and teach a young woman to learn to accept and even love these things about herself, even though it doesn't get her what she's been told she has to want, but instead pushes her to find her own path? Ugh. Yes. Give me a thousand more of these stories, I could do this all day.

Also, boyfriend cries and has open, deep emotions. What?? A young man in touch with his feelings, that doesn't have to be physically strong to be a good man, that is allowed to be physically weak and emotionally open, and have his own strengths and weaknesses that don't boil down to a six pack and a brooding personality? In a YA FANTASY BOOK?! Hold me.

I rooted for Isabelle the whole way though. I cringed with her, I held my breath, I cheered, I finished the book emotionally exhausted and ready to fucking fight. I haven't felt this pumped up after consuming a story or a piece of media since I went to see Captain Marvel for the first time in theaters, and hot damn, y'all, woman-centric stories that don't revolve around the approval of a man or the need to be petty and spiteful to other women are my jam . I will absolutely be shoving this book in the face of every woman, teenage girl, and preteen female I know, all but begging them to give this book a shot. I read the whole thing in one sitting, the same day I bought it just as a way to pass the time and... mmmm.

I'm gonna try and keep this as spoiler-free as possible, just because I don't want to give anything away, but yeah. On to the genuine criticisms.

Honestly? I didn't have that many. There were a couple of places where I was kind of annoyed, like the catty girl in the village that I wanted rid of, but the way it was handled in relation to Isabelle's story makes me more forgiving, if only for the way she learns to control her temper and not goad more fights out of people that don't really need an excuse. It bothers me that she has to just sit there and take it for her sister's sake, but... maybe that's just because it hits too close to home for some of us. It's a relatively small part of the book and I'm really not too fussed in the long run.

One thing that did throw me at first was the inclusion of the other points of view, like the skip from Isabelle's first chapter in the beginning to the introduction of "Chance," whose band of miscreants and misfits is a little distracting at first, but ultimately entertaining once you figure out how they're involved, and who serves as a sort of 'greater story' framing device for the real world conflicts taking place in the background. "Chance" and "Fate's" cat and mouse game ended up being one of my favorite parts of the underlying tensions in the story, and really helped drive home how make or break Isabelle's ultimate path was, even after she ended up going in a direction no one, not even herself, expected in the end. But it really added to the whole "we make our own path and only we can tell our story" message that ended up getting told as the underlying themes for the whole book. And I can thank it for that.

Right. Now. The big block quote I used up above. Chance decides he needs to tip the scales somewhat, and his whole part of the narrative so far as Isabelle can tell is as a rich eccentric trying to get his misfits and servants to help him put on a play. The play ends up... less a play, and more an inspirational third act speech meant to give Isabelle the push she needs to go and 'do the thing!', and as such it's... kind of cheesy, in hindsight. But at the same time while wrapped up in the story I didn't really notice it save to get super emotional and flaily about how many names were on that list that weren't centered around white western history, and I'm totally here for it. I am absolutely down with the cheese if it brings about the good feels, and the bolster to Isabelle's courage it gave delivered.

I also really like that one of the men driving the story kept pushing that love was what she needed, and automatically brought in a boy to do the job, but it ended up being Isabelle's love for her horse, herself, and her family, and the forgiveness of her step-sister, that really did the trick. Thank you so much Jennifer Donnelly, for not making this be about a man.

I really wish this review could do it more justice, but I'm pushing the limits of my word count as it is, and I don't want to risk repeating the ugly, happy blubbering I was doing at the end of the story. Suffice it to say I ABSOLUTELY recommend this book to anyone who likes fairy tales, feminist stories, girl-centered stories, coming of age stories, fantasies, everyone, really. I can't sum it up any better than Jennifer Donnelly herself in the forward of this book: "To everyone who's ever felt like they're not enough."

SNIIIIFFF. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat a pint of ice cream and watch Xena: Warrior Princess reruns with my puppy. Peace!

[typical-trope]

Are you still accepting asks for fics? In that case 2/10/14. (I know I'm probably being very greedy but any of these will do ) :)

Hi anon! It’s never too late! I will always take prompts! I just moved halfway around the world, though, so this took me a while. I hope it makes it to your dash! Thank you so much!

PINING FOR AGES

Erik waved at Charles from across the hall, checking the traffic patterns before even attempting to cross over. Charles sent him a distracted smile as he continued his discussion with Hank. “Why are you so insistent that I can’t handle the workload? I’ll be fine double majoring. It’s not as though people haven’t done it before.”

“Of course you’ll be fine. That’s the point! You should be better than fine! Think of the things you could accomplish by just choosing one major! Or even doubling in related fields!”

“Psychology and biology are not mutually exclusive. Really, Hank. College is about finding what’s right for you. Experimenting. Making mistakes. I don’t even know if I’ll want to graduate with a biology major.” Erik scoffed at the idea of Charles not wanting to focus on science. He’d been working on his undergrad for two years already, and would be able to go straight into his main courses.

Charles sent Erik an annoyed look, obviously upset that his friend wasn’t backing him up. Hank shook his head, frustrated, and walked away to his physics club. “Hello, darling. Are you ready to head out?”

Erik nodded towards the door and fell into step with his best friend. “How was our lovely Ms. Jones, today?”

“Sick. The knitter was our sub, so we reviewed for half the class, then played cards. What brought on that old fight? I thought Hank had given up trying to convince you not to double major.” Erik swayed left a step so his arm brushed his companion’s. His heartbeat sped up for a second at the contact, and he had to remind himself not to dwell on his emotions. Charles was a telepath, and while his powers varied in strength, he was bound to be a strong one, once he managed to control them. Erik didn’t ever want his oldest friend learning of the large crush Erik had been nursing since fifth grade. While Charles was accepting of any and all sexualities, he had declared himself straight, and Erik didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

Charles waved at a passing friend before holding the door to the outside world open for Erik. “Raven popped by and said she was going to be my first patient when I became a psychiatrist. To her, I am bound for med school.” He gave a sardonic grin and led the way to his car. “Do you have to work tonight?”

Erik threw his backpack into the trunk and climbed into the passenger seat. “Not today, but Mama wants me home for dinner. You’re welcome to join us, if you think you can stand Ruth.” Erik grinned at his friend, amused.

It’s seemed that crushes on rich telepaths named Charles ran in the Lehnsherr family. Ruth had been sporting her own crush on the boy ever since he had begun teaching her piano. Charles was very aware of her feelings, and was never sure how to act around her when he didn’t have a clear topic to focus on. Charles blushed and chewed on his lip as he navigated the busy streets towards Erik’s apartment. “I think I can handle Ruth, since we’ll be in different cities soon,” he reasoned quietly.

Erik’s stomach twisted at the reminder. He wasn’t going to college. He couldn’t afford it, and hadn’t gotten enough scholarships. It wouldn’t have mattered, though. He never would have been able to leave the states and go to Oxford with Charles. Family was too important to Erik. “Why do you always have to bring that up?” Erik crossed his arms and looked out at the passing scenery.

“Because it reminds me to cherish the time I have left with you. I’m going to miss you, Erik.” Charles spoke softly, but his car cut out all background noise, and made it impossible not to hear the admission. Erik chose not to respond, and convinced himself that the disappointment he felt was only his own, and not leaking from the telepath. “What is Edie making for dinner?” Charles asked in a brighter tone, obviously done with the moment.

“Probably just spaghetti with a salad. She had to go in early this morning.” Erik eyed the dog walking alone on the path, trying to judge whether it was lost, or a stray.

“We could make something! What time does she get home?” Charles sounded so earnest that Erik had to snort.

“Do you remember the last time you tried to cook? We had to throw away the casserole dish, because the cheese wouldn’t come off.” Charles blushed and kept his gaze pointedly on the neighborhood traffic. “We can put the spaghetti on before she gets back, and make some pasta sauce, rather than just using the canned stuff,” Erik conceded.

“What about bread?”

“Are you going to run out to the bakery? It’s not like Mama keeps yeast lying around.” Charles huffed and pulled up to his normal spot across the street from the apartment building. “Bring your homework. We might as well do something productive. I’m not failing my finals just because you want to play Mario Kart again.”

The pair made their way to the apartment and ended up playing a round of Mario Kart, regardless. It was the arrival of Ruth that chased the boys off to Erik’s room with the excuse of needing to study.

They actually managed the task for once. Erik had set an alarm for when to start dinner, and both boys were startled out of their books when it finally went off. “I’ve been practicing, Charles!” Ruth swung her legs against the cupboard doors as she perched on the counter. “I’ve almost got four pages memorized!” She had a wide, gap-toothed grin of pride spread across her face. Charles praised her and helped keep her entertained as Erik chopped vegetables. His control on the knife was shaky with Charles so close, and it only became worse when the shorter boy grabbed his forearm to try and help him focus.

The kitchen knife fell to the wood block with a clatter, making Ruth jump and the boys laugh. “You imagine holding it with an actual hand. That’s not what your power is, and it limits you so much. Try imagining it like wind guiding a leaf. You control everything metal. You aren’t limited by limbs.” Charles spoke softly, his accent filtering through the room as he stood just behind Erik’s shoulder.

Erik took a deep breath, acutely aware of his arm brushing against Charles’ chest. This time, he tried to imagine what Charles had suggested. He could feel all the different metals around him, but struggled with the concept he was going for. It was too abstract, and while he managed to shake the cutlery drawer, he feared his control wouldn’t be strong enough, and the entire room would be upturned. Eventually he gave up and decided to just chop the ingredients by hand. Ruth went back to pestering Charles about what he liked most in England, and what he was going to do. If he was going to get a girlfriend. Would he ever come back and visit? The questions made Erik uncomfortable, and he tried to tune the other two out as he started the tomato sauce.

Charles answered them all diligently. He liked the understated humor, and he was going to study hard for his classes. He didn’t plan on dating anyone over there, but who knew what could happen. Of course he’d come back to visit.

Erik felt his mother’s old station wagon pull up outside their window and stuck the pasta in the water. “It smells heavenly in here.” Edie walked through and kissed Ruth and Charles before greeting her son. “You didn’t let Charles near anything, did you?” She and Erik sent the telepath amused smiles, laughing outright when they saw the blush covering his face. “Oh, schatz, don’t worry so much.” Edie smiled as she cupped her second son’s cheek affectionately.

Charles grinned before pulling away to set the table. Ruth followed diligently with the silverware. Erik tested a noodle as he glanced up at his mother. The woman was studying Erik closely, her gaze guarded. “What?”

Edie hummed lightly and stepped up next to Erik, taking the spoon from him and trying the pasta sauce. “I love you. You know this.” Edie kissed Erik’s temple and went off to the dining room. He heard sharp laughter as he dished up the meal and went to join his family.

Erik wiped sweat off his brow as soon as he came out from under the truck. “Lehnsherr, you’ve got a visitor.” Azazel closed the door between the front and the garage almost immediately. Heading to the front with a frown, Erik tried to push down any trepidation he was feeling. The only reason he could think of someone visiting him at work was Ruth with news of their mother.

What he found instead was a young man with shoulder length hair in a very familiar wheelchair. “Charles! What are you doing back?” Erik’s heart and stomach flipped as he stepped forward to hug his friend.

“I have great news, my friend! I–”

“Ah! This must be your vozlyublennyy! We have heard much about you.” Azazel stepped around the counter and took Charles’ hand in both of his. “Erik did not exaggerate. Do not be modest on my account, dah?” He gave a wink and sauntered back to the counter, tail swaying high behind him.

Erik cough and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to control his embarrassment. “Ignore him. Azazel likes to stir up trouble.” Charles gave Erik an understanding smile and cocked his head towards the street side doors. “Taking lunch.” Erik followed his friend out, watching strong shoulders flex under a tight purple shirt as they made their way to a small diner nearby. “What was your news?” Erik finally managed as they got comfortable in a booth. He was afraid to ask, willing to bet it had something to do with Moira MacTaggert and an engagement ring. Charles had been dating Moira for three years, and Erik had never heard of them having problems.

Charles shifted up in his seat and leaned forward, eyes wide with excitement. “I’m coming back! I’ve been offered a professorial job at Columbia, I’m looking into apartments now.” Erik was positive his smile matched his friend’s, and he wanted nothing more than to hug him close, suddenly hating the table between them. Charles had been off in England for six years getting his doctorates, and had only managed visits back twice a year. Erik had tried several times to save up for a trip out to visit his friend, but something always came up.

Now, Erik reached across the table and gripped Charles’ hand, pushing all his excitement at the telepath. “That’s amazing! When do you start?”

“In two months. I came as soon as I got the call. I thought we could go out and celebrate tonight, if you’re not busy.”

Erik agreed and messaged Ruth, letting her know what was happening. His sister sent Charles a congratulatory snap and warned Erik to behave.

The pair agreed to meet at Erik’s place around seven for dinner, and Charles hugged Erik close for long enough that Erik was tempted to bury his nose his friend’s hair. Instead, he drew back and gave a jovial pat on the shoulder before heading back to work. Only after he walked back through the door did he think to ask how Moira felt about the move.

“Enough, Mama. Please don’t bring it up.” Erik was laughing with his head in his hands as his mother threatened to ask Charles about his love life. He had talked with her about his sexuality about a year after graduating, and had been shocked to learn that she hadn’t been surprised at all. She was fully supportive, and had simply asked if he was currently in love. When he’d said yes, she hadn’t needed to ask who. Ever since then, she had been pestering him to talk to Charles. He obviously hadn’t, and likely never would.

“Edie, if he’s telling you to keep blackmail from me, I must forcefully disagree. How have you been?” Charles rolled in with a bouquet of colorful daisies on his lap and a warm smile on his face.

Erik felt his heart squeeze at the sight of his mother and the man he loved hugging each other close over hospital bed bars. “I’m afraid to say, he’s trying to save you from my badgering.” Charles let out a surprised laugh as he handed the bundle of flowers over. Edie cooed for a few seconds before handing them off to Erik to put in a vase. “How are you and Moira doing?” Her blue eyes were sharp and waiting, spearing Charles as though she could feel the answer out of him.

Erik didn’t doubt that she could. Force wasn’t necessary, though. Charles had never been one to withhold information. “We separated, actually. A few weeks ago, yeah.” He glanced over at Erik before leaning back in his chair. “I always wanted to come back, and I’m afraid Moira had planned to return to Scotland. It was an amiable parting, though.” Edie tsk-ed and patted his hand comfortingly. Erik tried to look anywhere but at Charles. “When is your surgery scheduled for? Soon, I hope. Hospital food is only palatable when high on morphine.” And just like that, the room was relaxed again.

Erik had offered his bed for Charles until his friend could find his own apartment. He had tried insisting on sleeping on the couch, but Charles had insisted that since they had been sharing beds since primary school, there was no point stopping now.

And so Erik found himself laying on his back staring at the ceiling while the man he had secretly loved since fifth grade used his bicep as a stuffed animal. Charles had always been a cuddly sleeper. Erik resigned himself to a long night up when he felt Charles squeeze his arm.

Looking over, the telepath’s eyes shined in reflected moonlight, gazing at Erik. “Do you need more room?” Erik began to shift away automatically, but Charles kept him in place.

“Why would Azazel call me your sweetheart? I had been meaning to ask you since last week.” Charles whispered out of reverence for the night. Erik whispered only because of Charles.

“He’s an ass. You’ve been my best friend for so long that he’s heard a lot of stories about you. He didn’t mean anything by it. Don’t worry about it.” Erik made himself look back up at the ceiling, avoiding watching the relief wash over Charles’ face at the reassurance.

It apparently wasn’t good enough, though. “Are you sure that’s it?” Erik’s stomach tightened, and his lungs seized up enough to make his breathing shallow. He hoped Charles couldn’t feel the fear coursing through his body. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I’m not going to ever stop being your friend.”

That was it. Charles knew, and in his own way he was letting Erik down gently. Carefully, doing his best not to knock against his friend’s limp legs, Erik extracted himself from the bed and stood up, collecting the small bit of pride Charles had left him with. And with it, he bent down and kissed his friend’s forehead. “I love you,” he murmured before rising and going out to the living room.

Erik didn’t get any sleep that night, and rose from the couch as soon as he recognized black had turned to gray. He left a note for Charles letting him know the apartment was his to use until he found somewhere better, and that Erik would be staying with Azazel.

He knew it was the coward’s way out, but Erik was also aware that he wouldn’t be able to face Charles without feeling a ball of angry guilt pummel his defenses. He wouldn’t even be able to explain himself, since he had left his phone on the kitchen counter.

“You’re not staying with me just because you’ve had a spat with lover boy. Emma is with me this week.” Azazel wore the smarmiest smile as he thought of the White Queen. If Erik hadn’t known her so well, he might have been worried for the woman’s safety. As it was, the pair was perfectly mismatched, and Erik really didn’t have any desire to be near them. He ended up crashing in Ruth’s dorm that night, much to his and her dismay. Erik would be hard pressed to say who was more against the outcome, though. Ruth loved her brother, but it seemed her roommate prescribed to love at first sight, and neither sibling was thrilled with that particular interaction.

Erik decided that one full day plus a couple hours was long enough to avoid doing the mature thing, and ended up sitting on his couch after work wondering when Charles would get back from apartment hunting.

When the door finally opened, Erik was napping on his couch, which was far more comfortable than awkwardly sharing a long twin with his sister. He had to blink a few times to actually focus on the man in front of him. “You’re an arse.”

That got Erik’s attention. He sat up and rubbed his eyes before being able to fully take in the irritation wafting off of Charles. “Excuse me?”

“You can’t just bloody well tell me you love me, and then run away like that. It’s not fair.”

“Oh, forgive me. I thought you had already made your affections clear. You’ll always be my friend, remember? I never needed you to explicitly remind me of how straight you are.” Erik shook his head and stood up, heading for the kitchen. He needed to distract himself from the whirlwind of emotions he was currently experiencing. Tea had always calmed Charles down when the press of minds had become too much. By habit and repetition, it had the same effect on Erik.

“And just how straight am I, Erik? Why don’t you tell me?” Charles rolled in after him, movements sharp and staccatoed. “I had a boyfriend for three months while in college. I went home with several other men before Moira. I’m not precisely straight.”

“You experimented. It’s not the same.” Erik knew he was making a mistake. He wanted so badly to take his words back. Have the power to erase time, or to just stop whatever was already making its way to the front of his mouth. “I’ve been in love with you for twelve years. I don’t want to just kiss you, or fuck you. I’ve wanted to cook for you, to laugh with you. To hold you whenever you fell apart. I’ve wanted all of what you’ve already given me, and then the rest of you. Because you have had that from me for as long as I can remember.” Erik felt the spokes of the wheelchair spin as Charles neared, but he kept facing the sink, his shoulders hitched high in the hopes of hiding the tears trailing down his cheeks. “Don’t say anything, Charles.” The telepath’s hand gripped Erik’s firmly and turned him around. Erik kept his eyes closed, tilting his head back as Charles pulled him down to his level. “Please don’t say anything.”

Their foreheads touched, and Erik could feel concern, hurt, loyalty wrapped up in a thick blanket of love cross over from Charles. The impact made Erik gasp and look at his friend.

Charles had his eyes closed, focusing only on his powers, making sure to pull them back to a steady stream of love rather than the wave. “It just took me a while to recognize, darling. But I do love you.”

Erik found he was having trouble breathing steadily, and despite that, he wanted to kiss Charles. Years of holding back and repressing froze him, but Charles had always been good at taking what he wanted. Combined with Erik’s near inability to deny the young man anything, the press of lips was inevitable.

For it being as limited as it was, Erik was grateful when Charles pulled back with his own shaking inhalation. “So the apartments I’ve been looking into are big enough for two people. And you’ve been complaining about this building for a year now. What do you say? Roommates?” Erik grinned at the ceiling for half a second before nodding at Charles, matching the feeling of relief filling the room.

Waiting had been hell, but he had never been one to hold back on his dedication to this relationship. He was all in.

[kyuu-rereads-umineko]

Ep6, Chapter 3 (End) & 4

I like how I ended the last post literally just before the end of the goddamn chapter.

Well, uh, anyways! Let’s see how far we can get before Chiru arrives officially.

(Also, shout-outs to everyone over on Rokkenjima for the warm welcome! <3)

Back on the gameboard itself, the typhoon’s started. “No longer would anyone be able to leave this island... and no longer would anyone be able to reach it. No one... unless blessed with a miracle.” Erika drags herself to her feet, cackles at the sky, and invites Battler to “entertain her.” here we go, chapter end

Like in Ep5, Erika’s welcomed as a guest, and everyone is enjoying a good conversation after dinner. Interesting - this is usually when Beato’s letter would surface from Maria or someone else, but this time, there’s no mention of such a thing.

“A strange family in a western mansion on an isolated island during a storm... Now that we have a detective stopping by to take shelter from the rain, we’ve got all the major factors lined up.” god damn it battler

Erika assures them that she’ll solve whatever crime might happen, and Krauss replies, “It almost sounds as though you want a bizarre crime to occur. I hope I don’t have to play the part of the victim.” ahaha oh man

and she goes off on a tangent about how there’s nothing new in the genre etc etc. y’know for a self-proclaimed detective she doesn’t seem to actually care much for mysteries does she

though i guess that’s kinda the point

“By that argument, wouldn’t it mean that romance was perfected back in Shakespeare’s time, so everything after that isn’t worth reading?” Erika replies yes, because of course she does.

“Just reading classics of the past and never anything new is being overly nostalgic, don’t you think? That sounds to me like the excuse of an old person who’s too lazy to read anything.” SHOTS FIRED

The conversation topic changes to Maria’s quiz book, and Erika starts rattling off the answers at an incredible rate. bern r u having fun

CHEESE RIDDLE

really though i don’t think i have much to say about this part other than it’s funny watching battler flail around while everyone else works it out

YOU CAN ONLY DO THIS BECAUSE IT’S CHEESE

Battler hitting upon his answer of one cut when the “correct” answer is three is interesting, though - it’s definitely not a conventional answer in any sense of the word, but in a way, I feel like that kind of thinking is how you need to approach Umineko itself. If you get caught up in the logistics of how the crimes could’ve been done, then you’re likely to miss the truth, even if you end up with “an answer.”

NOW I KNOW I’M READING TOO DEEP INTO THIS, GETTING MEANING OUT OF THE CHEESE RIDDLE

Erika is less than happy that Battler managed to figure out the “one slice” answer as well, though, heh.

Meanwhile, Ange concludes that Battler must’ve gotten it wrong, and Featherine just kinda laughs at her... before saying that the shape of the cheese isn’t specified in the rules. On the board, Battler says pretty much the same thing - while everyone else thought of a cheese wheel kind of thing immediately, he ended up thinking of sliced cheese.

“Since [the illustration of the cheese] hadn’t been shown, the interpretation of the cheese had been left to the answerer.”

Battler goes about demonstrating his answer. “With normal cheese, it’d break if you tried to fold it like this... but the rules say that this cheese can’t break unless you use a knife, right?” IT’S LIKE ALL THE RED TRUTH WORDPLAY

“We were thinking in three dimensions... but it looks like Battler-kun and Erika-chan were thinking in one dimension higher.” the magic of having a meta-world presence

Erika drops all pretenses of politeness at this point. “She was no longer a guest who would be staying until the storm passed. She had transformed into an annoying guest who wouldn’t leave until the storm passed...”

George tries changing the subject by springboarding off of the next puzzle (coins in cups), mentioning picking up coins with chopsticks, and Erika freaks out. lmao

And suddenly the narrative cuts back to meta-Battler in his logic error room from later on. I’d forgotten that it’s framed like this, to make it “concurrent” with the events on the gameboard.

In desperation, Battler runs into the bathroom, even though there’s no “exit” to speak of in there.

except of course smashing yourself to bits so you can fit down the bathtub drain (ryukishi why)

Next up, the windows, which have been clamped shut. I forgot just how chilling the atmosphere is during this whole sequence, not gonna lie...

Battler smashes a window open and tries sticking his arm out to break the window shutters... only for the glass to start growing and cutting into his arm. LOGIC ERRORS MAN

and there goes his finger jkfdshgjfkldhgfkljd

Back on the board, the cousins and Erika mention hearing a “clunking” sound. eep

At Erika’s prompting, Shannon mentions that there are guest rooms at the end of the hallway, though they aren’t being used. meta-battler would probably disagree

Erika and Battler trade a few jabs about her “role” as “detective”, while Shannon seems to be understandably spooked by it. kinda funny when, y’know, she’s the one killing everyone on the other boards

The cousins and Erika make their way to the front door, and as they pass by Beato’s portrait, Erika asks about it.

“Well, to be honest, I already know that it’s Beato’s portrait. Still, we only just walked past it in the last game, which is no fun.”

Shannon begins with “This is the Master’s benefactor, Beatrice-sama.” Interesting, was “benefactor” ever used to describe her in earlier Episodes? Let alone by any of the servants, or anyone who acknowledges her as a witch...

Oooh, this is interesting. Jessica brings up the ghost stories, and Battler recalls being afraid of them when he was younger. In response, Maria repeats the old adage of “she’s not scary if you respect her,” but this time, she also asks Shannon for her thoughts on the matter. On some level, Maria’s definitely aware that there’s some connection between Beato and Shannon (and Kanon), even if she just thinks “they’re friends” or some such.

Jessica giggles a bit, bringing up the story of the servant who got injured and quit. George joins in a bit, pointing out the main entrance staircase as being where said servant fell. spooky

I’m not quite sure how to express it in words here, but this is interesting - I do get the sense that Jessica and George are “in on something” in a way they weren’t before. Might just be confirmation bias, but hmm.

Erika asks for clarification on how the ghost stories and the portrait being put on display relate, and Shannon says that the ghost stories existed beforehand, but became more common once the portrait was put up.

And then, since she’s Erika, she dismisses it all as “worth less than the useless drivel of a half-sleeping nitwit,” much to Maria’s chagrin. In response, she just invites Beato to curse her, and Battler jokes about how having the detective killed right at the start is “a little too radical.” lmfao

Maria gets out her scorpion charms, Shannon remarks that spiderwebs are good as magic-repellants, and Maria says it’s because Beato’s “the incarnation of a butterfly.” Jessica responds in confusion that the spirits of Akujikishima were weak against spiders. Come to think of it, Ep6 is where we first start getting the hints that the “evil spirits” and “the ghost of the witch” tales combined to form Beato’s own mythology, isn’t it?

Everyone leaves the entrance hall... and chick!Beato arrives in front of the portrait of herself.

“Without a doubt, the figure depicted there was as like her as an image in a mirror. However, it felt as though its eyes and expression... were just a little different from hers.”

“Who... are you? ...Please tell me what kind of person you are... [...] ...Your wings should have existed for Father’s sake. ...Just when did you have one of those torn off... and end up so drastically different...?”

I’d completely forgotten this line, but now that I read it again, I absolutely love it.

Ahhh, right, this is where the narrative mentions that chick!Beato doesn’t have an adverse reaction to spiderwebs or scorpion charms.

Beato reaches out and touches the portrait, and it “ripples slightly.” something something Super Umineko 64

“...Yes. This is... a doorway. A doorway to the long path that would lead her to the Golden Witch, Beatrice...”

Chick!Beato falls through the portrait, and after resolving to “be born for Father’s sake,” she finds herself in the mansion’s entrance hall, face to face with... herself.

“That’s right... I wasn’t the only one born from the egg. She was also born. [...] ...Both of us are lacking something and immature. Yes. Both of us are chicks... but we are also... fragments of the true Beatrice.”

Elder Beato asks why chick Beato (I think I’m just gonna call them Chick and Elder from here on out) has the same face as her, and the narrative points out that she speaks the same way as the “true” Beato.

Elder’s profile is added to the menu at this point, and it’s pretty damn interesting - “A mysterious witch who existed even before the rules,” for one thing, as well as specifying her as the one who gave Shannon the gold butterfly brooch back in Ep2.

Elder posits herself as Chick’s older sister. I’d forgotten that it’s actually specified like this that “the witch of Rokkenjima” existed before Beato as we know her (i.e. the dress and hair).

Chick states that she wants to become “a complete Beatrice,” and Elder says that she herself was complete until Chick came along. Man, I’ve really forgotten everything about Ep6, haven’t I? This is a pretty obvious parallel to how Beato developed as one of Yasu’s characters, from pulling small pranks here and there to the Golden Witch herself.

Chick realizes that the portrait in the entrance hall is missing, meaning this has to be 1984 or earlier. She also puts herself forward as the ruler of the mansion at night, as other characters have said before.

The two of them head further into the mansion, with Elder planning on introducing Chick to her “boring everyday life.”