#I say this for the plan ''backfiring'' on Starscream reasons >:)

[transingthoseformers]

Imagine if when Starscream is mad at Megatron he steals his sex toys and hides them

[vetoing-clocks]

Sometimes there comes a moment in a mech’s life in which he has to make a statement. He has to look inside himself and say, “What am I willing to put up with today? Not! Fragging! This!”

Then he has to leave his faction behind, settle down in an abandoned spaceship and live the rest of his days in blissful neutrality.

Too bad the universe has other plans for Starscream.

In this chapter: Knock Out won’t stop visiting, the Vehicons want identities, Starscream gets a new nickname and, to his horror, finds himself feeling worried about people that aren’t him.

Characters in this chapter: Starscream, Knock Out, random humans on a forum, various Vehicons.

Pairings: implied KOBD.

Fandom: Transformers: Prime

Rating: T

Notes: this is an AU based on the idea “What if Starscream had realized that the universe hates him and that everything he does backfires, so he decides to be neutral?”

One thing they never tell you about hiding is how incredibly boring it is. Yes, you might be scared out of your mind when you do it, but after an hour or two the fear dilutes and you’re left looking at your hands and pondering the risks of going out.

It’s been three hours since Starscream left the Harbinger and he’s desperate to return, because he’s sure that the boredom is going to kill him. He brings up the Harbinger’s security feed and watches the footage starting from the moment he left, but there are no signs of activity. He pushes the feed to a corner of his processor, sets an alarm in case movement is detected, and starts working on burying the energon he brought.

All of that occupies a small amount of time. The sun’s still up and he has nothing to do. If this was a normal day on the Harbinger he would be watching a movie, or messaging someone from the forum, maybe he would have even considered calling Knock Out to catch up–

Right. Knock Out is the reason he’s here, bored out of his mind. Had he already followed through on his threat to tell Lord Megatron about Starscream? Although, to be fair, it had been less than a threat and more like the promise of one.

Keep reading on AO3

or

Read from the beginning

[16woodsequ]

Okay well, you asked for it and you don't gotta do more than that!!!

(Or Not) is a fic from Bucky's pov about the original capture of Steve from the story Infallible (or not). So basically we get to see first hand from Bucky the aftermath of the event that made Steve go catatonic. Plenty of angst and healing aftermath.

Forest of Apple Trees is a prequel to The Sins of the Father from Bucky's pov. So we see when he learns about Howard's blackmail and trying to help Steve handle what is happening to him. I'm thinking it will probably time skip a few times to the present day as well.

Therapy works (if your therapist isn't a Hydra agent) is a sequel of sorts to In the Deep where Tony follows up on the concerning things he noticed about Steve (namely how he is not okay and has been hiding that) and eventually he finds out that part of that reason is SHIELD's therapist for Steve has some... strange practices.

The Captain and the Asset is one I'm excited to get to some day. It's a fic centred around the idea that Hydra captured Steve in the elevator during CA:TWS and succeeds in their plan with the Helicarriers. Hydra turns Steve into their own asset and the Avengers don't even know he is alive until a year later. Cue them trying to bring him in and angst when Steve has to relearn himself right along side Bucky.

It's not your fault is my first modern day AU. It's about Steve growing up ashamed of some side effects of his disabilities (thanks to some A+ parenting), before eventually realising how traumatising it all actually was (and some comfort from his friend Bucky who helped him realise that).

Mirror Mirror is one centred around Tony slowly but surely recognising his own trauma responses towards alcohol in Steve and coming the realisation that he and Steve are not so different in that A+ parenting experience.

Alt Options 11 isn't very far along but it's Steve's experience in Wakanda during the events of The Alternate End, since we only saw Tony's pov there.

Alt Options 12 is similar except it follows the effect of the Alternate!Avengers doing their own time travel and leaving their warning about Thanos.

Ice and Blood is Steve's pov of all the things he doesn't know and doesn't recognise immediately after he wakes up from the ice (plenty of SHIELD A+ parenting and angst with maybe some rescue from Tony later).

Dreaming of You is an idea that Tony gets hit with a spell during a battle and it backfires poorly and he starts dreaming about Steve's life, but through Bucky's eyes. That's hard enough, except eventually he starts to get dreams of Bucky after he falls from the train...

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is a transformers fic, a prequel for The Singer focused on the pov of Starscream's guards (Sideswipe and Sunstreaker) as they observe Starscream's treatment under Sentinel Prime and realise that Starscream definitely isn't as incomprehensible as people say. And then Megatronus comes...

If you want to chat about any of these in more detail let me know! I hope to post one of these in the next few weeks/month!

Fanfic WIP Tag Game

Thanks for tagging me @turtle-steverogers!

Rules: List all your WIP titles, all meaning even the ones that are vague or nonsensical. Tag as many people as there are WIPs (whoever invented that rule clearly wasn’t a writer lol okay) --- agreed

My wip titles are listed in order of 'worked on most recently' to 'haven't touched in a while'. Feel free to inquire about any if you wish!

(Or Not)

Forest of Apple Trees

Therapy Works (if you therapist isn't a Hydra agent)

The Captain and the Asset

It's not your fault

Mirror mirror

Alt Options 11 Steve and the Battle in Wakanda

Alt Options 12 The Alt-Alt Timeline

Ice and Blood

Dreaming of You

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Tagging: @usaonetwothree @perplexinglyparadoxialperson @jinxquickfoot @gaiagalit

[ramblesandmumblesofanerd]

Rambling Review: EQG - Rainbow Rocks

When we last discussed Equestria Girls, I came to the conclusion that, in spite of the numerous moments of sheer blandness and ridiculousness, the film itself was essentially harmless. The “villain”, if you could even call her that, did not impress me, the plot was uninspired in spite of the addition of MLP elements, and the structure was a complete mess from my personal perspective. So, imagine my surprise when a sequel was announced in 2014.  And by surprise, I mean revived agitation. Don’t get me wrong, while I now see that a sequel was inevitable, I was less open minded to the concept at the time. But, casual fans and critics alike all say that Rainbow Rocks is a vast improvement over it’s predecessor to this day. Are these claims true, or is the sequel just as nonsensical as the original film? Well, let’s jump through the mirror again and take a look.

We begin in the human world this time, as we see three obviously evil magical girls are feeding off a green fog surrounding a bunch of arguing teenagers. They talk about how the “food” has been quite insubstantial in recent years until the climax from the last movie explodes in the distance. The leader with a hairstyle fluffier than the fluffiest of unicorn plushies marvels at the light-show, and tells her sisters that their time has come. Equestrian magic has appeared in the human world, and they shall us it to make it’s denizens adore them. Cut to about maybe a month or so after the Fall Formal, where everyone is giving Sunset Shimmer the stink-eye after what she did. This is actually important for two reasons:

1. Consequences. I commented in the last film that leaving Sunset in the human world rather than have Princess Celestia punish her was not the right thing to do because it gave Sunset a “Get Out Of Jail Free” card. In this film, that point is rendered moot because nobody trusts Sunset, not believing for a moment that her days as a tyrant are over. And why should they? They were all used and abused by Sunset in various ways prior to the end of Equestria Girls, indirectly or otherwise. Which gives way to…

2. Regret. Sunset actually feels bad for what she did, and this time it feels more believable. There’s nothing like an entire school turned against you to make you feel cast out. Every time the subject of the Fall Formal and Sunset’s transformation is brought up, she becomes depressed or agitated about it. She wants to put the incident behind her and prove that she is better.

Which is why she has agreed to show some new transfer students around the school before someone tells them about her past. But, surprise, surprise, the transfer students are three familiar girls in tacky clothing. Sunny shows them around and mentions a school-wide musical fundraiser, which certainly gets the attention of the girls who start to act noticeably weird when Sunset asks about their matching necklaces.

Huh, obvious baddies who don’t want people to touch their bling. Are we sure Evil Sunset didn’t somehow multiply?

In all seriousness, the Dazzlings are a breath of fresh air to me, as they actually are given a little bit of character in comparison to Sunset’s one note “gimmie the crown” shtick. I especially love the Megatron/Starscream-esque relationship from Adagio Dazzle and Aria Blaze with a little bit of Sonata Dusk making memes in the background. And then things get even better after they sing their first song, “Battle of the Bands”. The three sisters saunter into the cafeteria and pretty much undo what Twilight did in the previous film and begin to divide the students. The Dazzlings manipulate everyone but Sunset and the HuMain 5 into fighting one another and turning the musical fundraiser into...well, a Battle of the Bands. And as the students argue, the girls feed off that familiar green fog again as our heroines watch in confusion.

Sunset, showing some more brains than in the previous film, comes to the immediate conclusion that the three girls obviously have dark magic on their side, and the gang goes to tell Principal Celestia in order to kick them out. But, unfortunately, Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna are weaker than their Alicorn alternatives, and are already under the thrall of the Dazzlings, leaving the girls at a lost until Sunset remembers about a journal she had brought from Equestria years ago. The journal apparently acts as a primitive form of text messaging, allowing Sunset to send a message across the dimensions by writing a message in her book which will appear in another back in Equestria. By sheer luck, Twilight is already in possession of the magical, glowing, vibrating second journal which receives Sunset’s message, and she not only determines that the Dazzlings are Sirens banished from Equestria by the Dumbledore/Gandalf/Merlin of Pony Lore, Starswirl the Bearded, but she also Macgyvers a way to open the portal between the two worlds early using the journal’s magic.

So, Twilight and Spike return to the human world, leaving the others behind to avoid the confusion that would come from having two of everyone running around. Everyone back in the human world is excited to see Twilight come back, even Sunset, who offers to help Twilight up after a rocky entry. This brief moment is important. The way Twilight initially hesitates shows that even she rightfully doesn’t trust Sunset yet. It, again, shows that all is not forgiven like we thought back in the previous film’s finale.

So, by now you're probably asking “why is Twilight even here?”. Well, since Principal Celestia is basically a puppet, the HuMain 5 believe the only way to deal with the Dazzlings now is to blast them back to the stone age with the same Deus Ex Machina attack from the Fall Formal. But, since this film isn’t supposed to be thirty minutes long, this plan backfires, not only making Twilight and the HuMain 5 look like fools, but also expose their resistance to the Dazzlings’ mind-control. While Adagio theorizes that these girls could be the source of the Equestrian magic she had witnessed long ago, the girls retreat to make a new plan at Pinkie’s house during a slumber party.

So Plan C goes something like this: have Twilight write a “counter-spell song”, play it during the Battle of the Bands and defeat the Dazzlings. Why would this work? Well, because the HuMain 5’s magical powers seem to pop up whenever they play their instruments for a band Rainbow Dash and her friends started for the fundraiser. What a coincidence. Actually, while we’re here, can we discuss how the human version of Rainbow Dash acts throughout this film? While the pony version has been known to be quite egotistical and self-absorbed at times, this version multiplies these attributes to the point of being abrasive. Constantly calling the band “hers”, cheating at video games, not wanting to back down as lead vocalist when the others volunteer Twilight in order to pull off the counter-spell, even ignoring Fluttershy when she wants the band to try playing a song she wrote herself. I know technically the human one is not the same character as the pony one, but Rainbow Dash is just so unlikable in this film.

After a brief moment to both address how Sunset and Twilight are not so different after all and to have a shout-out to all the Maud Pie fans, the gang return to the Battle of the Bands after a less than successful rehearsal which mostly consisted of bickering more than music. The Rainbooms flub their first outing through the obvious sabotage from Snips and Snails, but they somehow get to move along with the other competitors who won Round One. That doesn’t mean everyone is happy about the competition however, as even Flash Sentry starts spewing insults at the girl he once crushed on thanks to the Dazzling’s magic. Speaking of, Sunset tries to talk her Equestrian foes down, but the Sirens know of her past endeavors and turn the tables before they take the stage.

After another great, if not more blunt song, called Under Our Spell, we see that the Rainbooms are actually making progress in spite of the constant internal drama and the sabotage from their premiere. More on that in a bit, as another great song pops up...only to end right away. This song sung by Trixie, Tricks Up My Sleeve, is actually quite a good song, and I wish we could have heard the whole thing in the film if only just for one lyric. So, just for you guys, allow me to play this one lyric. LadyTenkage, this one’s for you~

And this is what happens when online friends subscribe to me on YouTube: inside jokes with a dash of schadenfreude. Oh...I’m so gonna get murdered for that when we next meet face to face.

Anyways, after more of Rainbow Dash feeding her ego by singing a song about how awesome she is (which I cannot stand), the girls start to show their pony powers, but Sunset intervenes before the Dazzling can feed off them. She and the Rainbooms are booed for this, but the Dazzlings use their ever-growing power to manipulate Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna into allowing the girls to advance to the final round, much to Trixie’s rage. But, again, the Dazzlings stroke Trixie’s ego and plant the idea to trap the Rainbooms as an act of revenge, which she does. This prompts the HuMain 5 to, once again, bicker and unintentionally feed the Dazzlings their magic as the Sirens perform on stage above them.

This is where Sunset finally shows some backbone and tells her new friends to stop arguing and instead focus on actually solving what is causing the conflicts, otherwise the counter-spell Twilight has been trying to make this whole time will never work and the Dazzlings will win. So, of course the Rainbooms reconcile, of course Spike rescues them with the one background character who isn’t under the Dazzlings’ control, and of course they go to face their enemies in eye-gouging-ly colorful outfits.

And now, for the best climax in Equestria Girls history...until the next one.

Okay, first the Dazzlings go through their own pony transformation complete with ears, fin-wings red eyes, and astral-projections of themselves in their pure Equestrian forms. Then, the Rainbooms show up with Vinyl Scratch who somehow owns a transforming car.

Transformers! Hasbro doesn’t care.

Next comes an all out rock battle, with guitars blaring, vocalists giving it their all, Sirens screaming red versions of Danny Phantom’s ghostly wail, and the Rainbooms needing Sunset to help win the fight. And, with a toss of her jacket, she does. She starts to sing alongside the people who have stood alongside her through thick and thin throughout this movie, and she goes under the standard pony-fication, leading up to the most awesome thing I have seen in all of Equestria Girls. Period.

Through the power of friendship and music, the Rainbooms summon a giant, rainbow maned alicorn who blasts the Dazzlings and shatters their gems, which reduces them to being ordinary humans, all while epic music plays in the background.

Where was this in movie one!? This epic finale which shows how much power these characters have when they actually have a sense of unity is so much better than “lol, you can’t hurt us because friendship”. And the fact that it took the help of Sunset to summon what I shall now call the Alicorn God of Rock not only shows how much power these girls truly have, but it also begins a new chapter for Sunset’s redemption. Moments like this actually grab my attention, more so than the obligatory easter eggs and using even more stale high school movie plots.

Back to the film, the Dazzlings run off the presumably starve in an alley while the Rainbooms send Twilight on her way home. Twilight makes an obligatory speech about how this is “goodbye ‘til next time”, but a little cliffhanger begs to differ, as we’re finally shown that Twilight and Spike indeed have counterparts in the human world, and the human Twilight has set her eyes on Canterlot High’s magical mischief.

And with that, Rainbow Rocks ends with a nice credits montage of Canterlot High’s students starting to truly accept Sunset Shimmer as one of them. So, what did I think of Rainbow Rocks in comparison to it’s predecessor? Well, on the whole, I have to say that Rainbow Rocks obviously excels where Equestria Girls fails. It actually dedicates time to establishing characters and their traits rather than copy and paste typical high school stereotypes for the sake of filling in the blanks. For example, Sunset Shimmer, a character I despised for being a bland villain, actually makes an attempt to be a better person in spite of the insurmountable odds placed against her. And good Lord, the Sirens! Compared to Sunset Shimmer, these ladies were fantastic villains. Unlike the she-demon, they actually had presence and were a constant threat both on and off screen, making it feel like there was more at stake than just popularity. And the music! Unlike most of the songs from the original film, Rainbow Rocks succeeded in...well, rocking! The Dazzling’s songs, Tricks Up My Sleeves, even The Rainbooms’ songs (so long as we ignore the ego-stroking “Awesome As I Want To Be”) were all incredible, and I would listen to them all again if given the chance.

However, like the original film, there are also some notable faults in Rainbow Rocks. The HuMain 5 were easily the weakest part of the film, their constant arguing became a tad grating in spite of it’s necessity to the plot. Which reminds me, the award for most annoying character of this film goes to Rainbow Dash, whose entire routine in this film consists of her stroking her ego to the point of climaxing. While I’m not expecting her to be as restrained as her pony counterpart, I expect at least some form of control from her even if she is a teenager.  Also, some of the plot elements, such as how the magic that has suddenly appeared in the human world works, is not explained as much as an intellectual audience would like.

“Who cares” RD? Well, I care. The audience cares. Everyone cares! Which is why one of the shorts made before the next film focuses on Sunset actually trying to explain the magic in a logical, scientific way...with less than satisfying results.

And, yes, much like I stated in in previous review, this film uses more high school movie tropes: The Battle of the Bands. But, unlike Equestria Girls, there’s something that actually allows the film to stand on it’s own. Maybe it’s the Dazzlings manipulating the students and staff like puppets, maybe it’s the Equestrian magic, maybe because it was an actual Battle of the Bands, or maybe it was that incredible ending that I love so much. All in all, Rainbow Rocks was actually fun to watch in comparison to Equestria Girls. I’m glad I watched it, and I think I would actually watch it again should the urge take me over. Is it perfect? No. But I can forgive Rainbow Rocks for it’s flaws because I feel like it actually made an effort to have a higher quality than Equestria Girls. It actually feels like a competent story that I can enjoy over and over again. 

All I can really say is Rainbow Rocks rocks.

In the meantime, never stop rambling. TM

[medicalmurdersaurus]

Three Ounces Of Whoop-Ass

Upon rereading Swoop’s wiki, I have come to a conclusion. Everyone should be thankful that he is an ambitionless, absentminded child because, unless you’re a Phase Sixer, Swoop is canonically capable of turning you into a featureless pile of gore.

He’ll murder Devastator. He’ll murder Megatron. Give him your address and he’ll murder you too.

JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE

From day one, I’ve down played how strong Swoop is. It’d feel wrong (and boring) to have him casually reach over and remove someone’s upper half from their lower half. However, when you look at his canonical actions, he is a mindbogglingly strong gore-machine. 

Here are my 5 favorite #nerfswoop moments.

War of the Dinobots - Swoop & Snarl vs Grimlock, Slag, & Sludge

The older three Dinobots are tricked by the Decepticons into beating up Optimus Prime. Despite being OUTNUMBERED, a FEW HOURS OLD and NOT FIGHTING TO KILL, Swoop and Snarl fight Grimlock, Slag and Sludge to a standstill. 

This isn’t a fluke. A similar standstill happens in Dinobot Island Part 1.

The Cool Episode 3 - Swoop vs Lugnut 

When Lugnut and Soundwave attack Dinobot Island, Lugnut gets WRECKED in a 1v1 with Swoop.

Battle for Earth - Swoop vs Devastator

Swoop shoots Devastator in the face, KILLING Hook and Scrapper instantly. Then, he cuts Mixmaster and Scavenger IN HALF with only his sword and a grin. This actual birdbrain cut Devastator up into goddamn sashimi. 

Decepticon Hijack - Swoop vs Megatron

Swoop shows up mid-battle and Megatron takes a shot at him. The pterodactyl is enraged so he drops a bomb that has the strength of 5,000 pounds of explosives.

Do you know HOW BIG of a boom that is? The Mythbusters used 800 lb of explosives to make a cement truck go away. They used 5,000 lb to make FUCKING DIAMONDS.

I don’t care what anyone says. Megatron died. Unicron would need a dust pan to put him back together.

Battle Drive - Swoop vs Megatron

In this Choose Your Own Adventure book, there is an option to have Swoop attack Megatron, Laserbeak, Blitzwing, Starscream, Bombshell and at least half-a-dozen other Decepticons. In that ending, Swoop takes out Starscream with a missile and then shoots Megatron’s fusion canon, which BACKFIRES and TEARS HIM IN HALF. Without a leader, the Decepticons fall to the Autobots.

You read that right. Swoop turns Megatron to pulp in TWO different books.

The only reason the war hasn’t ended is because no one has told Swoop to rush Decepticon High Command yet. Get on that, Prowl.

MAN, AM I BAD AT MATH

At first, it might sound redundant to hype a Dinobot for being strong. Except there is NOTHING to Swoop. Look at this loser!

Other than movieverse Frenzy, I cannot think of a male Cybertronian character thinner than him. TFP Starscream and Soundwave are definitely close in size but, to me, they look broader in the chest. In the absence of a TFP Swoop, it’s hard to make a definitive call.

Regardless, this boy is TINY. Yet, he tears through Lugnut, Devastator, and Megatron like wet tissue paper. 

AIRSPEED VELOCITY OF AN UNLADEN SWALLOW

Everyone jokes about Skyfire being the Autobot taxis but, as far as I can tell, Swoop is the one hauling everyone around.

Some of Swoop’s passengers aren’t particularly surprising. No one is blown away by the fact he can carry Wasp or Bumblebee. What is shocking is that Swoop can catch and carry other Dinobots.

Who thought this was a good idea? Exactly how much lift do you guys think pteranodons have? Good lord. Those assholes aren’t light!

Swoop has more than raw lifting power too. In his marvel incarnation, Divebomb (pre-Dinobot Swoop) is a member of the Elite Flying Corps, a best of the best Autobot fliers. There are only five spots open to the entire Autobot army and he got in. Booya!

HISTORY HAS ITS EYES ON YOU

Even if Swoop doesn’t actively participate in murdering someone, odds are that he’ll outlive them.

In case you aren’t familiar with the Beast Era cartoons, the short version is that the G1 universe continues until, in the far distant future, Autobots and Decepticons are replaced by their descendants, Maximals and Predacons.

In Tales From The Transformers: Beast Wars: Reaching The Omega Point, an ancient warrior known as the Veteran thinks about how he’s lived long enough to be a figurative dinosaur. The Last Days of Optimus Prime confirms it. This dad-joking asshole is Swoop.

Seriously digest the implications of this revelation.

Swoop is such an UNREAL BADASS that, despite Cybertron’s history basically being nonstop interplanetary wars for millennia, future generations hear “the Veteran” and instantly know who is being discussed.

He isn’t A veteran. He is THE Veteran.

Swoop outlasts basically everyone from the Great War, which means he is a de facto expert on the subject. People are going to give serious consideration to ANYTHING he says about bots and cons who fought in the war. There is no way that he ISN’T intentionally ruining people’s legacies with “fun facts.”

THE FATAL AMERICAN NEED TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

Swoop is harder, better, faster, stronger than the overwhelming majority of Cybertronians. The only reason I mentioned Phase Sixers at the top is because I can’t PROVE that he could take one of them on. But I wouldn’t have thought he could blow Megatron into confetti twice so who really knows?

Swoop could almost certainly bounce around, blowing everyone up into chunky salsa if he felt like it. So why doesn’t he?

IMO, deep down, Swoop just wants to have fun. Murdering everyone, everywhere would require way more work and planning than he cares to put into it. Seriously, this loser forgets that transforming is a thing. He is not a thoughtful person.

There’s no ambition there. Just a desire to have a good time. And thank god that Swoop’s idea of fun involves annoying LIVING people!