#I say it as somebody who loves Origins and who's always thought Origins is the best of them and who's missed it ever since

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

You know, after playing for a while, I've got to say that, in my opinion, Veilguard is a good, fun game and I've been having a blast with it. Some legitimate criticism could and should be made towards Veilguard, yes. And those things are not mutually exclusive. But considering the current internet environment, I'd worry to be piled up with the howling maniacs that act like the game somehow killed their dog, stole their family jewels, and burned down their house with its writing alone (because the previous games were all absolutely perfect, apparently), or with the "anti-woke" brigade who get their panties into twist over every little bit of diversity in the game, spending their free time trying to review bomb the game everywhere despite not having tried it, and who sound like they want most of us dead, so... If I look like I'm just having some carefree fun here, trying not to think about this shit, it's because I am.

[vaspider]

The original song is from 1981, which, like... the lyrics reflect a different, older understanding of queerness, but -- I have to stress -- this was originally recorded in 1981, and Willie Nelson recorded a cover in 2006 [EDIT: I heard the original as a kid, and I always thought it was Willie Nelson, even before he covered it in 2006. IDK why.] And now he's recording it with Orville Peck.

Fucking rad.

Well, there's many a strange impulse out on the plains of West Texas There's many a young boy who feels things he can't comprehend And a small town don't like it when somebody falls between sexes No, a small town don't like it when a cowboy has feelings for men

And I believe to my soul that inside every man, there's the feminine And inside every lady, there's a deep manly voice loud and clear Well, a cowboy may brag about things that he's done with his women But the ones who brag loudest are the ones that are most likely queer

Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other Say, what do you think all them saddles and boots was about? And there's many a cowboy who don't understand the way that he feels for his brother And inside every cowboy, there's a lady that'd love to slip out

And there's always somebody who says what the others just whisper And mostly that someone's the first one to get shot down dead So when you talk to a cowboy, don't treat him like he was a sister You can't fuck with a lady that's sleepin' in each cowboy's head

Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other What do you think all them saddles and boots was about? And there's many a cowboy who don't understand the way that he feels for his brother And inside every lady, there's a cowboy that wants to come out And inside every cowboy, there's a lady that'd love to slip out

[videovamptramp]

i would do anything for you to love me

(song: american hero - rainbow kitten surprises // natasha x fem reader)

summary - you have an obvious crush on natasha, and consistently do little things that prove so. though, she’s a grump who doesn’t know how to respond to your advances. this ultimately leads to her hurting your feelings.

warnings: mean nat, grumpy natasha, y/n is too sweet for her own good. a bit angsty but fluffy ending

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“hey nat!” you exclaim, and natasha nearly drops her coffee mug due to the sound of your high pitched voice. natasha turns to glare at you, “how many times do i have to tell you not to call me that?" she snaps, and your shoulders deflate a bit. “sorry, natasha! i just wanted to see if you were alright. you came back from that mission yesterday and you didn’t even have dinner...” you say, and natasha turns her head to keep her back towards you. “i’m fine.” it was an obvious lie, but natasha didn’t know that you knew that.

you merely nod, “okay, nat— natasha. i just brought you some of those banana and nutella crepe’s you like from that place downtown. here.” you reveal, as you place the to-go box on the counter that the redhead was leaning on. “thanks.” natasha mutters, and you smile widely at the small moment of politeness. natasha turns her head to see you smiling like an idiot, and her scowl returns as something unwanted in her stomach flutters. “is that all you wanted?” natasha asks a bit harshly, and your smile falters. “oh, yeah! sorry! i’ll leave you alone now!” you promise as you scurry away, leaving natasha alone. at least she thought she was alone.

“god, you’re such a cunt.” yelena murmurs, half asleep as she walks into the kitchen of the compound. natasha glares at her younger sister, “well good morning to you too.” natasha hisses, and yelena rolls her eyes as she reaches for a clean mug. yelena doesn’t say anything else to the redhead as she pours herself a cup of fresh coffee. "what has you in such a crap mood?” natasha asks, evidently annoyed. “nothing. i just figured we were all being asshole’s today, considering how you just behaved with y/n.” yelena’s response causes natasha to scoff. “oh please, i’m always like that with her. she’s like, borderline obsessed with me. nothing i say bothers her.” the older woman explains with a careless shrug, and yelena blinks at her sister in disbelief.

“she has a crush on you, идиот (idiot). god forbid somebody actually cares about you.” yelena whispers with a hiss in order to keep herself from snapping at her sister. natasha rolls her eyes, “i don’t want her to care about me. i don’t care about her at all. the sooner she realizes that, the better.” natasha simplifies, and shakes her head in dismay, before scoffing. ”you don’t deserve her anyways.” yelena mutters as she reaches for the to-go box that was originally for natasha. natasha glares, “that’s mine—” “you don’t deserve it.” yelena cuts in with a snarky tone, before she takes the crepes and coffee back to her room, leaving natasha alone.

natasha throws her coffee out into the sink, by now it's gone dog-nose cold. she tries to continue on with her day after that, though her thoughts of you, and the amount of unnecessarily sweet things you do for her, circulate through her mind. the way you leave files on her desk with cute little sticky notes. you bring her lunch or dinner up to her room, whenever she’s too mentally exhausted to join the team in the kitchen. you even bring her a protein shake after her practices and training sessions. natasha doesn’t remember telling you her favorite flavor protein shake, but you somehow know it’s peanut butter and chocolate.

the next morning natasha wakes up, and the kitchen is abnormally empty. she opens the cabinet, hoping someone bought new coffee so she wouldn’t have to. low and behold, there was a weeks worth of coffee in the cabinet with a sticky note and your handwriting on it.

“hey natasha! i’m going out of town for a week but i restocked the place with your favorite things! — y/n.”

natasha reaches for the note, and frowns. out of town? you didn’t mention a vacation to her. then again, she hadn’t really been in a talking mood yesterday. she never really was. “morning natasha. oh sweet!! someone bought coffee!” bucky exclaims as he reaches for the new tub of coffee beans. natasha stuffs the note in her pocket, “hey, where’s y/n?” natasha asks, and bucky furrows his brows. “she went out of town to visit her family for a week. i thought she told everyone about it the other day?” bucky questions, and natasha thinks back to a few days ago.

“hey nat!” you exclaim, your bubbly voice filling the gym as you bounce in. natasha scowls at the sight of you, “what do you want?” she asks, sounding harsher than usual. “oh, i was just looking for you to tell you something! i brought your shake!” you admit as you hand her the protein shake. “look, y/n, whatever you have to say, save it. i’m not in the mood today.” she snaps, and you frown. “o-oh okay. sorry nat i—”

“and my name is natasha!” she raises her voice and you flinch a bit. a wave a of guilt washes over her for a second, but she keeps her arms crossed and a glare on her face. “sorry natasha.” you mumble before walking out, and leaving natasha to train. “wow.” wanda chirps in, and natasha looks over at the other redhead. “what?” natasha asks angrily, “she just wanted to give you a shake and have a conversation.” wanda points out, and natasha rolls her eyes. “i don’t want to talk to her. and i didn’t ask her to make me a shake. i never ask her for anything. you’d think she’d take the hint and stop already.” natasha grumbles, and wanda nods. “well, maybe one day she will. i do think you’ll miss the actions more than she will though. so be careful what you wish for.” wanda warns, and natasha waves her off with narrowed her eyes as shoves her earbuds in and takes a big chug of her shake. it’s peanut butter and chocolate. her favorite.

“i guess she forgot to tell me.” natasha mutters, and bucky nods. “well, she’ll be back on sunday night.” he assures her as he opens the fridge. “oh sweet, there’s new bacon!!” he exclaims in a giddy tone, and natasha swallows thickly. you’re not here and you still did something for her.

natasha feels your absence throughout the day. it’s as if the compound is dimmer, and lacking any life. nobody brings natasha her shake, and she had to make it herself; though it doesn’t taste as good as when you make it. natasha always uses too much peanut butter. the rest of natasha’s day is no better. she doesn’t join the team for dinner, and she isn’t greeted by the sound of your soft knocks and a plate of her favorite foods.

natasha’s entire week without you is unexpectedly hell. for some reason, you seem to be the only person who seeks natasha out. you know when she’s having a bad day, you know when she’s had a terrible mission, you even know when she’s in a good mood. natasha doesn’t understand how you know all these things about her, she’s never once bothered to open up to you. it makes her feel a surge of guilt as she recalls all the times you’d try to talk to her, and she’d turn you down. she wishes she understood why she suddenly felt so weak without you. why her days dragged on when she didn’t hear the sound of your voice.

you return on sunday night, and as soon as natasha sees you, she knows somethings wrong. you smile at her, but you don’t greet her with your usual “hey nat!”. you drag your bags up to your room, and without a word you don’t come out until the morning. natasha doesn’t sleep that night; you’ve been gone for a week, and you didn’t even bother to say hello to her. why? you’re in the kitchen the next morning, chatting with yelena, “hey natasha.” you greet her with a soft smile. she doesn’t enjoy the way her full name sounds rolling off your tongue, despite how many times she demanded it.

“morning.” she greets back, eyeing you for a moment before shuffling passed bucky and thor to the coffee machine. natasha makes herself a cup of coffee, and can’t help but listen to you and yelena quietly talk about some show yelena’s watching. she doesn’t understand why it bothers her that you’re talking to someone else and not her. it’s what she wanted isn’t it? to be left alone by you. natasha huffs, and is out of the kitchen as soon as her mug is full of piping hot coffee.

today you don’t bring natasha a shake, and you don’t go out of your way to see or talk to her. natasha is in a grumpier mood than usual because of it. she hopes this is just a momentary thing. maybe you’re just taking it out on her for the way she acted before you left. you’ll be back to normal again by tomorrow. right? natasha doesn’t know why she's hoping that’s the case.

that definitely isn’t the case. the next three days pass and you barely say a word to natasha. you still smile at her, but the shine in your eyes seems to have disappeared. natasha has a haunting realization that you may have realized what yelena has been saying all along; you deserve better. better than natasha and her complex moods. better than the way she treats you. better than her and her need to push away anyone who truly cares about her.

natasha hasn’t been to dinner with the team for two weeks now, and you haven’t once brought her a plate. something about the sudden distance makes natasha inexplicably angry. your cheerfulness in your voice is gone whenever speaking to her, and she can’t figure out why your smile doesn’t reach your eyes like it did before. it takes two and a half weeks of this for natasha to get fed up and finally do something about it. she finds you on the treadmill in the gym alone, getting your cardio in.

this time, natasha tries a different approach. she brings you a protein shake. “hey. this is for you.” natasha says bluntly, and it causes your running to falter as you stop the electric machine and face natasha. she’s holding out a chocolate shake, and you eye it carefully. “i swear i didn’t poison it.” she promises, and you raise your eyebrows. “did— did you make it? for me?” you ask a bit uncertainly. natasha’s brows are scrunched together, and she scoffs.

“well, i don’t see anyone else in here do you?” she asks impatiently, still holding the protein shake. you gladly take it, and a small smile tugs at your lips. “thanks natasha.” you thank her, before taking a sip. it has way too much chocolate in it, but you don’t mind. the gesture is undoubtedly sweet. natasha stands there for a moment, and you blink up at her. “it’s good.” you obviously lie politely in order to spare her feelings, and natasha rolls her eyes. “you make them better than i do.” she grunts out, making your smile widen.

for some reason the curve on your lips makes natasha’s chest flutter. she clears her throat, “i’m uh— i’m sorry if i scared you off. i don’t take to kindness too well... your little acts of genuine kindness scared me. it wasn’t my intention to be such a jerk to you.” natasha apologizes, refusing to meet your eyes. you’re a bit surprised by the unexpected apology, and you shake your head quickly. “you didn’t!” you respond without thinking, “you didn’t scare me off... the truth is it’s been a tough few weeks for me. i’m not very close with my parents and whenever i visit, a fight always breaks out. it wasn’t my intention to make you think i was shutting you out, i’ve just been a little sad since going back home.” you promise, and her eyes widen.

“wait, so you... you aren’t angry with the way i’ve been treating you?” she asks and you shrug. “sure, sometimes you hurt my feelings, but sometimes i can see in your eyes how much you’re hurting. you deserve kindness, natasha. even if you don’t know how to accept it.” your voice is sincere, and natasha’s heart feels like it’s being squeezed so tightly it might pop. something inside of her snaps and she doesn’t even feel the tears brimming in her eyes. your eyes almost widen at the sight of her tears, “why? why are you so nice to me all the time?” natasha asks in a frustrated manner. why is it impossible to hate you? why doesn’t she want to?

“because i know what it feels like when the world hasn’t been kind. like i said, you deserve kindness, natasha.” you iterate, and the redhead lets her chest rise and fall before saying “yo-you can call me nat.” the smile you give her makes it feel like someone lit a match in her belly.

after that, there’s quite a difference in your friendship with natasha; if you could even call it a friendship. the two of you were nearly always together; during breakfast, during training sessions. on late nights doing paperwork, you’d keep natasha company, and she didn’t mind. it goes on like this for a few months, the subtle flirting, light touches, and longing looks. everyone on the team notices, including you both. the problem is, neither of you are brave enough to make the first move.

until you’re both put on a mission with peter and steve. it’s supposed to be an easy mission; peter and steve infiltrate the building across town with the databases and broadcasts, while natasha sets up a bomb in the secret hydra location downtown. except, it’s two minutes passed the time natasha’s supposed to have came out, and she still isn’t here. “steve— don’t start the bomb, nat’s not here yet.” you order, “what? *static* — do you mean— *static* —ot there?” steve’s mics chooses the worst time to start cutting out.

“rogers, stop the plan i’m going in for nat!” you say, and the mic goes silent. “steve?” you ask, but you don't get a response. within a moment a loud explosion sounds throughout the building, and your eyes go wide as the blood goes straight to your ears. you don’t even think twice before rushing out of the van, and running into the building. your eyes dart around, and you find the stairway right way. you go downstairs to where natasha’s supposed to be, and your eyes widen as you see she’s pretty busy fighting off three guys.

you rush over and pry one guy away from her, punching him square in the nose, then kicking him in the crotch. natasha uses one of her widow bites to tase the man, and she doesn’t notice you pulled your gun out until she hears the first shot. she looks over and sees the large man slump forward, and you don’t hesitate to shoot the other right between the eyes. natasha has never seen you use a gun before, and it causes her mouth to go dry for a moment.

you look at her, acting on complete instinct, as you grab her wrist and pull her for the nearest exit. not even a second after you push her out of the building, and stumble on top of her, the building collapses. surely leaving no survivors on the inside. you let out a silent breath of relief, nearly forgetting you’re literally on top of natasha romanoff. natasha pushes you off, glaring at you, “are you out of your fucking mind?!” the redhead shouts, and you frown up at her, propping yourself up on your wrists as she stands up. “why are you yelling at me!?” you ask loudly, your ears still ringing from the explosion.

“because you’re an idiot! you were supposed to follow orders and wait in the van!” natasha looks like shes seething, clenching her fists as she glowers at you. the police sirens snap you guys out of your feud, as you stand up. “get back in the van.” you order, and she scoffs as she follows you back into the van. as soon as you're both in, you speed away from the scene.

“rogers? parker? are you there?” natasha asks, as she uses the emergency walkie. “we’re here, natasha. where y/n? she was trying to tell me something before we got cut out.” steve says over the walkie talkie, and you look over your shoulder, “nothing. it doesn’t matter now.” you say, and natasha glares at you. “doesn’t matter?! you could’ve died! she completely went off orders and ran into the building, rogers.” natasha throws you under the bus and your eyes widen. “what?? y/n, you were supposed to wait in the van!” he reminds and you huff in frustration, hands gripping the steering wheel as you drive back to the compound.

“we’ll talk about this when we meet back at the compound.” steve adds, and your shoulder slouch a bit. you know you’re in for it. when you get to the compound, natasha completely ignores you as she practically stomps to the elevator. you sigh as you watch you her walk away. “y/n, your bleeding.” steve points out, as he gestures to your shoulder. “i think one of the guys i was fighting had a knife or something? it’s just a slash.” you assure him, and peter shakes his head. “that’s a pretty deep slash.” he mutters and steve flashes him a look, “that’s because it’s not a slash. it’s a gash. you need to get to medbay and get that stitched up.” he orders and you want to protest, but the stern look on his face advises you not to.

“yes sir.” you reply as you walk away with your head down. you aren’t upset that steve is disappointed, you’re more upset that natasha is angry at you for saving her. did she really expect you to just sit back and wait for her to die in an explosion? did she really think you weren’t going to go in there for her? your thoughts whirl around your head the entire way to medbay. you don’t mean to be so sensitive, but you can’t help but feel hurt as you realize natasha is angry with you. you don’t like it when natasha is upset with you.

“hey steve, where’s y/n?” yelena asks, sitting on the edge of the countertop as natasha rummages through the fridge for a beer. “medbay. she has a gash in her shoulder that needs stitches.” he admits and natasha knocks over the tub of juice as she practically pulls her head out of the fridge. “she got hurt?” the redhead asks demandingly, and peter shakes her head. “it’s not that bad, it’s just a cut.” he reassures the widow, and natasha slams the fridge shut.

“just a cut? a cut she didn’t even mention— oh i’m gonna kill her!” natasha hisses and the team hears her heavy footsteps as she angrily makes her way to the elevator. “natasha.” steve calls out, keeping his voice calm. she spins around, “what?!” she asks harshly, and he flashes her a look. “go easy on her. i don’t know why she went against my orders, but she sounded frantic before the mic cut off. whatever it was, i’m sure it was worth it to her.” he says, and natasha blinks a few times, the anger slowly leaving her body. you ran into that building for her. if you two would’ve left a second later, you’d both be dead.

natasha doesn’t respond; she swallows thickly, and makes her way to the elevator. the entire way to the medbay she thinks about how mean she was, after you quite literally put your life at risk for her. she also thinks about how sexy you looked while firing a gun. the beep of the elevator brings natasha out of her thoughts as she steps out, and she can already hear you and bruce going back and fourth. “come on, just tell me if it’s green.” you beg and he flashes you a stringent expression. “i’m not going to tell you if hulk’s junk is green!” he scolds, sounding extremely irritated and embarrassed while he attempts to keep still. he was nearly halfway through with your stitches, but you weren't helping by squirming every other minute.

natasha chuckles, causing you both to look over at where she was standing, leaning against the doorway. “you know, i always wondered that too.” she reveals, and bruce rolls his eyes. “oh great, now you’re both here. it’s bad enough i have to listen to this one’s way too personal questions, now i have to make sure these stitches are perfect.” bruce mutters, and natasha smirks, “better make sure you do a great job, banner. and try not to hurt her." natasha says protectively. you blush obviously, and bruce rolls his eyes as he continues.

you glance over at natasha who’s staring intently at the wound on your shoulder. “are you still pissed at me?” you ask, pulling her out of her thoughts and back to reality. she meets your gaze, and she shrugs. “only when i look at you.” she blurts out, and you frown, you shift and bruce glares at you causing you to halt your movements. “did you really come all the way here to tell me you’re still pissed?” you question, narrowing your eyes at the redhead. she crosses her arms tightly, turning her head to the side so she doesn’t have to meet your eyes.

when she doesn’t respond you scoff, turning your own head so you wouldn’t have to look at her anymore either. natasha glances at you every couple of minutes until bruce is done, but you keep your sight locked on the wall beside you. “alright, i’ll give you some antibiotic cream for it, you know the drill. come back next week so i can take the stitches out.” he explains adamantly, and you do a poor imitation of a salute. “sir yes sir.” you joke, making him shake his head, but there’s a faint smile tugging at his lips. “don’t make this a habit, y/n/n.” he adds, and natasha’s piercing eyes snap over to you both. “she won’t.” the redhead answers for you, and you flash bruce a look. “you heard her.” you state, and bruce nods as he makes his way out.

he leaves you and natasha alone, and a silence washes over you both. you gnaw on your bottom lip as you glance at her, before your eyes begin to dart around the room. your kicking your right leg back and fourth in anticipation, mentally preparing yourself to get yelled at or scolded (or both) by natasha. “what you did was seriously stupid. you do get that right? you could’ve died.” the taller woman scolds, but her tone isn’t as harsh as before. you narrow your eyes at her, “you could’ve died! if i hadn’t gone in there... you... you wouldn’t be here right now.” the haunting realization hits you as the words leave your mouth. tears brim your eyes as you clench your fists, “i don’t care if you’re angry! i’d do it again in a heartbeat!” you snap, and natasha looks taken back at the confession. as if the thought of you risking your life for her was so far fetched. as if you don’t think about her every morning and every night. as if her rare smile doesn’t make your day. as if she isn't the only consistent thought running through your chaotic mind all damn day.

“i have been nothing but an asshole to you! do you see that or are you blind?? why would you want to risk your life for someone like me?!” natasha yells back, her nostrils flaring as she crosses her arms, unknowingly flexing her bicep muscles. you have to remind yourself not to ogle her. your fingernails dig into your palms, nearly drawing blood as a few tears leave your eyes. “because you’re not just a fucking asshole, natasha! you’re a person! you’re a great person, and i don’t care how self deprecating you are, you deserve to live! and i— i wouldn’t be able to if you weren’t around... okay?” your voice breaking towards the end as tears fall out of her eyes rapidly.

natasha’s demeanor changes, as her arms fall to her sides, and her jaw unclenches. “what do you mean?” she asks, and you scoff as you turn your head to look at the wall. “please don’t pretend like you don’t know.” you whisper in a pleading tone, and natasha stares at you with those intense emerald eyes. “pretend i don’t know what, y/n?” natasha questions again, this time her tone is more demanding. you look at her, your eyes full of emotions. she’s never seen you so passionately upset, “pretend that you don’t know i’m hopelessly in love with you!” you hiss, balling your fists as you look at her while you cry.

natasha’s eyes nearly widen at the confession, and she stares at you as if she can see right through you. you sigh, shaking your head and wiping your tears away with your palms, “i know you could never love me, and maybe that’s why you don’t understand why i couldn’t just sit back today and let... let you get hurt. i had to go in there, and i would do it again. no matter the outcome.” you iterate certainly, and natasha is looking at you with an unreadable expression. “you’re wrong.” natasha mutters, and you roll your eyes. “if you’re about to gaslight me into thinking i don’t love you, you can just go, nat. i’ve had a long day.” you say in a exhausted tone.

natasha grits her teeth, “you had a long day?! i just almost watched the woman i love get blown up because of me!” natasha shouts, and her hand clamps over her mouth as soon as the words leave her mouth. your eyebrows nearly meet your hairline as soon as you hear those words. “the— the woman you love...? you love me?” you ask, your tone laced with a bit of disbelief and giddiness as your eyes flutter up to meet hers. she takes a step backwards, shaking her head, “n-no i didn’t— i didn’t say that. you misheard.” she says simply, and you grin, finally the air is light again. you giggle despite your tears, “no, i’m pretty sure i heard correctly. i’m also pretty sure there’s high tech cameras in this room, i’ll just ask FRIDAY to run the video.” you shrug and she narrows her eyes at you. “you can, but then you’ll be disappointed because i didn’t say love.” she insists, lying right through her teeth.

“it’s too late for take backs, nat.” you flash her a feline smile, and she scoffs. “there’s nothing to take back!” she defends herself adamantly, and you frown. “oh... okay.” you feign disappointment, pretending to actually feel hurt. she rolls her eyes, crossing her arms again, “god, you’re such a baby. i can’t believe i’m in love with someone who acts like a child.” she murmurs, and your eyes light up. “you’re in love with me?!” you ask, and she looks up at the ceiling. “you keep mishearing things, y/n. you sure that bomb didn't affect your ears?" she plays dumb.

you groan in mock frustration, “naaat.” you drag out her name whiningly, and she can’t help but grin. “fine. maybe i said it. once or twice.” she murmurs finally giving in, and your face breaks out into a gigantic smile. “i knew it! i knew you loved me!” you exclaim as you throw your arms around her neck and pull her in for a hug as you stay seated on the small bed. she rolls her eyes, but eventually hugs back. “can i have a kiss now?! please?” you ask hopefully, and natasha sighs, rolling her eyes as she pretends to be annoyed.

she pulls away, and before you can say anything else, she’s cupping your jaw with one of her strong hands and leaning down to kiss you. your heart is on the brinks of exploding, and you have no idea where to put your hands, but they instinctively land on her waist while you kiss back. suddenly every dismal emotion you've felt today dissipates, and all you can feel is a burst of warm joy. when she pulls away there's this soft smile on her face, and her eyes are full of love. "totally worth almost dying." you whisper, and she rolls her eyes playfully as she leans in and kisses you again.

[crispyjenkins]

mandalore the young cont.

original post/discussion here! it was just getting really long and i for one hate scrolling so far, so. here's this. have also added this au to my masterlist in my pinned post!

@malcontent-crow

#i had a whole wall of tags and it didnt save! lets try this again#i am loving this. the potential for world building and the consequences of knowing more than you should (literally)

#i had forgotten that DW wasnt in peoples thoughts as a threat during the Clan Wars#and the idea that Pre was so far underground with the movement is a very good thing to remember as well! #on one hand you have this driven and spirited young verd that is inspiring Clans to start reassessing who they are fighting and why#on the other you have this clanless outsider that knows waaaaay too much about all the potential major players and is saying#that this major threat isnt really as gone as everybody thought and hoped. sith parallels out the wahoo for ppor obi#and hes standing there watching them all argue over his head about this threat that he KNOWS needs to be dealt with#he is seeing himself as pretty on par or above with the Old Guard in terms of mental age or prowess or large scale battles#so he sees them doubt him maybe even to his face and knows he'll need to get things started on his own

#and becauae everything in the galaxay has at least one person watching it from the outside... how quickly does the news of a jedi padawan#going off the rails on this mission get out? whos keeping track and who points fingers at the jedi for attempting to control the outcome#of the war of their historical enemies in their favor? the senate (read sith) want mandalore defanged before their war but what does it look#like the jedi want? how does the council answer for his actions? do they condemn or condone him? do they try to stay out of it?

#the world building potential of the Manda and the Ka'ra is delicious.#what does it mean to be a mando or darmanda? can you walk around and have people look at you and know you have failed in your oaths?

#and ouch! Obi-Wan considering the fact that he has never been allowed to be his own person.#from padawan to knight/master and then a general and councilor and sheesh. hes really never had the chance to see who he is as a person#outside of his responsibilities to everybody around him and right now hes a war worn adult in a war worn teens body#hes always had somebody else there. as a battle companion a teacher a student as somebody to protect and guard and guide#and now he has this entire culture looking at him and waiting for his next move. and im guess it still feels like less than a burden than#the care and raising of an entire child on his own. sure he had the temple resources and other jedi to lean on but anakin always looked to#him first to solve any problem or teach him something new or cuddle him after nightmares as hes trying to hide his own dreams#and grief and flounding to find his footing as an independent adult

#so right now hes looking around at the entire mando population and realizing thats he might need to reshape himself again for somebody else#to make himself what others need and knowing he can and will do it if it means saving somebody else

#and when exactly did he come back from the war? did he have satine die in his arms and see the ruin that is madalore after a pacifist reign?#does he see the potential for that ruin to happen right now if he doesnt succeed? where does he see himself in regards to the jedi?#has he considered the consequences of stepping up to be the Mand'alor to this culture he has never seen as his own?#has he let himself think about the choices he needs to make and how some things you cant always come out the other side the same as before?

(following the trend of each of these getting longer, this has hit just under 5,000 words, so just a heads up lol? so much world building is happening in this one)

sorry you had to rewrite so much! that last exchange was cursed, it seems lmao

it's so easy to write Obi-Wan as prescient, or the route I'm going with in Dha Kar'ta, so i think it's a fun change-up to have him knowledgeable for completely different reasons! I'm actually going to avoid visions almost at all for this Obi, but everyone else certainly won't know the difference, and he doesn't tell them otherwise (though he won't encourage it either. I do actually have a Naruto time travel where Nart pretends to be psychic à la Shawn Spencer, so that isn't the route I wanna go for this Obi). the consequences of knowing too much, indeed

hmmm many of these questions depend on how deep into Jedi and galactic politics I wanna go, and I'm not sure it's very deep at all. or at least, not very dragged out. i'll explain in a mo

SO first: yes, this Obi is from after Satine dies, in 19 BBY, maybe a month or so after, but before the bombing of the Temple so before Ahsoka left the Order. He was back on the front, no time to properly mourn, though he was doing his best, and was meditating on the whole war, but especially the Sith and their hand in everything that happened on Mandalore. It went deeper than Maul, he knew, had been going on longer than Maul and even Dooku, and it occurred to Obi-Wan that the Sith either wanted a Mandalore that will side with them but not be too much a threat, or they wanted them not a threat at all. He realised his hand in that, in helping put the New Mandalorians on the throne that led to the demilitarisation of the entire sector. Obi-Wan had practically teed Mandalore up for Dooku and then Maul's interference, and if the Republic won the war, he could all too easily see them doing another excision. won't get too much into it to save it for the fic, but he is mediating with something beskar, and he gets a lil too deep into the Force, and of course this is post-Mortis so...... 👀

so this Obi-Wan, back in time, is helping Mandalore to prevent any more Sith machinations in the future, to change the future for the whole galaxy, but even before he's Chosen, he realises he's also doing all of this for Mandalore. for his own hand in its destruction, for the Jedi's hand in the Excision, for his personal connection to Satine drawing Maul to it. it's for atonement, for reparation, and also because Mandalore deserves to be saved, and Obi-Wan is in a place he can help do that. it isn't just about the health of the galaxy, anymore.

I usually shy away from having Obi-Wan leave the Order, no matter what AU I'm throwing him in because I believe in the fundamental goodness of the Order and the people in it, and Obi-Wan is fundamentally a Jedi, one of the best, one of the best. however, in this case, I don't think he can have his cake and eat it too. if Dooku had to leave the Order to accept his countship, then Obi-Wan would have to leave to become Mand'alor. Jedi are (supposed to be) politically neutral, and Obi-Wan is all too aware he'd nullified his own neutrality the moment he decided to go for Keldabe to find Jango.

one of my favorite... tropes? in time travel fic is Obi using his future fellow councilmembers' access codes to get into things he shouldn't, and he certainly knows how to work the Order's internal systems in his favor, so he

wait so i was gonna have him go in and tender his resignation from the Order directly into the systems, and backdate it for before the Mandalore mission, so that anything he's done on Mandalore so far cannot be blamed on the Jedi BUT WHAT IF he just. deletes himself. like completely. from admin to the Archives to the crèche's own internal systems to the Shadow's private servers, Obi-Wan Kenobi was never a Jedi, was never a Temple bastard, was never Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. his mission records are all in Qui-Gon's name now, his medical file simply doesn't exist, his crècheling clan is listed as simply having been a person short compared to other clans that year. he goes so far as to delete comm histories with him or mentioning him, it's like Obi-Wan Kenobi just doesn't exist anymore.

he does this first thing after leaving Jango, he spends the entire week back to Mandalore ensuring he's been completely erased from absolutely anything relating to the Jedi, and then uses his future councilmember knowledge (and lessons from Quinlan) to erase himself from Republic systems, too. any planet he'd helped as a padawan will suddenly have no records of him as having been there with his master, so the senate or Order can't subpoena them for the info, though Obi-Wan knows he can't have gotten everything (such as any planet not in the Republic, or who don't have holonet access to their files, or both, like Melida/Daan), but he figures he's done enough to absolve the Order if anyone comes knocking about what he's doing.

he buries his lightsaber in the deserts of Mandalore, not knowing that in his old future, he'd have done the same on Tatooine.

so as far as the Jedi are aware: Obi-Wan went on a mission with Qui-Gon that (predictably) went to hell, got separated from his master for weeks to months, then suddenly changed, at the same time their Jedi with the highest prescience collapsed due to his visions, which have also changed. Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon behind to hightail it through the Mandalore sector, and Qui-Gon couldn't catch up or find him, and then Obi-Wan disappeared from anyone's radars for two weeks. then Qui-Gon senses him reenter the Mandalore system, right before breaking his training bond with him, and the Order wakes up to Obi-Wan completely erased from their systems like he never existed in the first place. everything is going so so wrong, and yet. and yet.

and yet the Force is telling them all that this is right, that this is the least Dark course of action, that whatever Obi-Wan is doing is indeed the Will of the Force

so the Order mourns one of their own, and tells Qui-Gon to let him go. and then the Order ups their cyber security because what.

i think he leaves an unsigned letter/comm message for a few people. Bant, Quinlan, Mace, Feemor, his old crèchemaster, Yoda, maybe Jocasta Nu. it's short, basically thanking them for their hand in his upbringing (Feemor hasn't even met him before so is very confused by this), apologising for leaving abruptly, but to follow the Will of the Force, he had to leave; the first part of the message is all the same, but ends with little individual notes. he apologises to Madam Nu for fucking with her archives and hopes she can one day forgive him; he asks her to keep her friends close and to mend the tension between her and Dooku, that Obi-Wan should not know about. He tells Yoda that the future is always in motion but they must move with it; he asks Yoda to meditate on his dwindling lineages and learn to accept all that he cannot control. He reminds Quinlan to wear his gloves and asks him to thank Tholme for looking out for him when Qui-Gon wouldn't or didn't; he thanks him for their years together, and asks him to check in on Feemor every now and then. He apologises to Mace for all the shatter-points he likely caused and will continue to cause, and suggests he put a permanent reminder in his comm to remember to refill his migraine prescription that sixteen year-old Obi should not know about. He asks Bant to look out for a young Togruta initiate that will join in seven years, and suggests Bant might like the healer track rather than the knight corps; he thanks her for being his longest and most dearly-held friend. He thanks his crèchemaster for realising his visions were more than dreams (which will inadvertently lend credence to that theory for why Obi-Wan changed so suddenly), for supporting him when Bruck was at his nastiest, and for always being someone he could turn to even after he became a padawan. For Feemor, Obi-Wan apologises that they hadn't had the chance to meet before then, and for the relationship they won't have anymore; Feemor has no idea who this message is from, until he starts hearing the gossip that Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Order again. He too mourns never getting to know his padawan brother.

and Obi-Wan sends Qui-Gon a message, of course, thanking him for his teachings, apologising for "leading him on" as an apprentice, leaving and coming back so many times only to permanently leave this time. he reminds Qui to reach out to his friends and his support system, asks him to at least consider talking to a mind or soul healer about Xanatos (knowing that once it gets out that Obi-Wan is a planetary leader, it will likely badly trigger Qui-Gon), and asks him to at least try and mend his relationship with Dooku, though understands if that's not something Qui-Gon is willing to do. asks him to keep Satine safe, but to deeply think about why the Republic is so intent on helping her faction, and why Qui-Gon had questioned so little of the New Mandalorian ethos.

so by the time Obi-Wan finds the Old Guard, he's broken from the Order completely, has buried his saber, has broken his training bond, has cut his braid. I think he shaves his head entirely to let it grow out at the same rate, because the padawan cut is *Eliot Spencer voice* Very Distinctive. he paints his armour white for, yes, his men, his vod'e, but also for cin vhetin. he can't be the man he was before, nor the teen he was before, neither are who Mandalore needs, and as long as he can stay true to his morals and upbringing, he will be what Mandalore needs him to be.

okay now onto the Manda vs. the Ka'ra vs. the Force. the Force is a scientific concept of an energy connecting absolutely everything in the universe, and the Jedi have a religious view on the scientific concept. for both purposes, the Force just is. I really like the idea of other non-Jedi ideas just being different aspects of the Force, different religions and cultures based on the same scientific concepts. for Mandalorians, their "aspect" of the Force is the Manda, the collective souls of every Mando'ade that's ever marched on. just what it means to be Mando'ade has varied greatly through history, and is varied between different groups even now, but none of that changes what the Manda is, which is an aspect of the Force only Mando'ade can touch. sort of like their beliefs of it being separate from the Force have made it so?

now I haven't really talked about this before, but from the beginning of me writing Mandalorian related things, i've separated Ka'ra from ka'ra, which was a little bit me misremembering there was another term for "stars", and then it became it's own thing. kar, meaning "star", with it's plural kar'e or kare, to me, means physical stars, the way we'd call our sun a star. ka'ra, uncapitalised, is the more poetic and/or spiritual "stars", the way we might say something is "written in the stars", which actually aligns with how jate'kara is spelled; for my writing, i've used this form for Mandalorian Force-sensitives being Star-touched ka'ra-touched. Ka'ra, capitalised, is that "ruling council of fallen kings", the Mandalorian myth and it, the way I've always interpreted it, is a separate part of the Manda made up of specifically the souls of every Mand'alor already marched on. So, Tor Vizsla could have joined the Manda after death, but not the Ka'ra; make sense? all that ka'ra vs Ka'ra worldbuilding was done very early in my writing for star wars, and has since expanded to include the idea of the Manda as something separate, and I would now actually consider Manda-touched over Star-touched to describe Force sensitive Mando'ade, because that's really what I think Mandalorians would consider causes their supernatural powers: ancestors rather than the stars.

so what does that mean for this fic? the Manda is directly influenced by all those that consider themselves Mandalorian, Force-sensitive or not. it is, however, not affected by New Mandalorians, unless they worship the Manda in some facsimile, and I think many, many, many do not, not the way they were raised to. this worship looks different for every clan and every individual, and I've always interpreted it as more of a broad spiritual practice across the whole culture rather than a religion, per se, the way a real-world broader culture might pray at shrines at New Years even if individuals themselves or their family aren't religious. this is what I'm referencing when I say the Will of the People: the alive Mando'ade and their choices and emotions affecting and influencing the Manda, the collective amalgamation of every passed-on Mando'ade, and it's when these two are in tandem that they "pick" a Mand'alor. HOWEVER, such a pick is also up to the Ka'ra, the Mand'alor'e that have all marched on; to one day enter the Ka'ra themselves, a Mand'alor must be "picked" by both the People/the Manda, and the Ka'ra. Tor would be "picked" by a significant part of the People and the Manda, and so would Jaster have been, but (according to me, myself, and i, obviously), only Jaster had been chosen by the Ka'ra. Pre is "Mand'alor" only in name, only in a tenuous loyalty existing in House Vizsla and Death Watch, not even by the Manda; just simple human (et al) loyalty. Jango had a weaker "pick" from the Manda than Jaster did, but was picked by the Ka'ra, meaning if he did not declare himself dar'manda (even just internally; I don't think he's ever said it out loud), he would have joined the Ka'ra after death; if he ever reconnects with himself as a Mandalorian, I like to think he'd have that chance again. Canon Jango, though, who went on to make the clones? Absolutely not.

what does this all mean for Obi-Wan? he'd spent weeks inadvertently drumming up support in the people and therefore the Manda, and maybe most haven't really looked at him and thought "sure I'd follow him as Mand'alor", but they have looked at him and thought "that one has mandokar, that one wants what's best for Mandalore, that one is touched by destiny". I dunno, man, like. Obi-Wan is their hope before he is their leader. That will make all the difference when he does end up uniting them. His searching out Jango had made Jango finally confront that he feels dar'manda, until then he hadn't really lost the Ka'ra's support, but that severs that connection. and now the Ka'ra are without a Mand'alor, but look at that, there's a mandokar'la little idiot right there, already strong in the Manda, already rallying hope and purpose, already so invested in the nurturing and the future of Mandalore, how could the Ka'ra not choose him?

I posed the question previously whether or not Mando'ade can tell who has been chosen to be Mand'alor, and I think I've ironed out what that'll mean for this fic. non-Force sensitive Mando'ade will have this sense when near their Mand'alor, a subconscious and inherent trust in them, and indeed, some will be disturbed by this and fight it. that's alright, that's their right. Some never clock this extra sense, some are aware of it always, some just chalk it up to "gut feelings" and the like. The more spiritual or religious Mandos maybe put a little more stock in this feelings, I think especially goran'e and other spiritual leaders, but the fact that the Manda can technically pick more than one person at a time (like Tor and Jaster, and then Jango), this extra sense isn't a perfect indicator of a properly chosen Manda'lor.

now. what about Force sensitive Mando'ade? Well, the Manda is an aspect of the Force, and is in fact how said Force sensitive Mando'ade connect to the Force, by going through the Manda, first. their relationship with sensitivity is inherently different from others in the galaxy, at least those that connect to it directly. they are the ones that can sense or see if someone is chosen by the Ka'ra, depending on their sensitivity. Some see the ghostly line of previous Mand'alor'e stretched out behind them (like the Avatar cycle lmao), some see a wavering crown of stars around their head, some just sense there is a duplicity (/neutral) to their Force presence that doesn't exist in anyone else. how common is Force sensitivity in Mandalorian space? not fuckin very. Jaster had three in his entire faction of aprox. 2 million (fanon number), at least that were aware they were sensitive. Jango only had a few more, and only because he had gained a couple hundred thousand more followers before Galidraan. so i'll make the nearly-arbitrary number that Force sensitive Mandos are 1 in 1,000,000, across the entire sector. by some calculations, in the whole galaxy at around the time of the Clone Wars the number of Force sensitives is 1 in 5,000,000 but these calculations do not generally include societies and species with a near or 100% chance of Force sensitivity, because we simply don't have the data for it. does this all make Mandos slightly more likely to be Force sensitive than others, by my own numbers? sorta. which i'm making an issue of underreporting, based on Mandalore not being a part of the Republic, and also contention with the Jedi and Sith; they don't consider those Manda-touched to be Force sensitive, and with the way I've built this, they aren't exactly wrong.

for the purposes of this story, there are maybe eight Manda-touched Mando'ade in the Mandalore system at this time, and all but one are goran'e. that single non-armorer is part of the Old Guard. I have the roster for the Old Guard decided, so I'm debating whether the Manda-touched one is Cort Davin (a journeyman protector), or one of the women. Instinct wants Vhonte Tervho, but I have plans for her to be related to the goran Obi-Wan got his armour done by, who I wanted to be one of the seven Force sensitive armorers, soooo. lmao how fucked would it be if Isabet Reau is the Force sensitive one? I like the angst of that, since I definitely do not plan on redeeming her, but I kind of want the only Old Guard that can sense Obi-Wan is Chosen by the Ka'ra to be really quiet and accepting of it, while everyone else is arguing. hmmm I have an unnamed Wren as part of the Guard, that I haven't fleshed anything out for yet; perhaps them?

okay I think I've solidified what it makes a Mandalorian, at least for the function of this fic. it is tied to the Resol'nare, and following it, which does allow those who had Chosen Tor Vizsla as their Mand'alor to technically still be following the Resol'nare, and are therefore not dar'manda. at least not for that. but part of the reason the Resol'nare is even able to determine who has a Mandalorian soul, is because they believe it does. Those alive and those dead influence the functionality and reality of the Manda, which also allows for those pre-Resol'nare to still exist in the Manda. What causes someone to become dar'manda, if they are technically following the Resol'nare?

maybe it's reductive, or over-simplified, or maybe even too broad, but it makes sense to me and allows for many many different types of people to still fail, and this is obviously not the only way to become dar'manda, but one thing that will always strip someone of their Mando soul? treatment of children. caring for children. not harming children. this allows many of Death Watch to still maintain their Mando souls, but still be fucked up awful people in other ways. It allows even True Mandalorians to have lost their souls and not realised it because they otherwise adhered to the Resol'nare, because they'd chosen to interpret "defending oneself and family" and "raising your children as Mandalorians" to not include other peoeple's children. Or maybe they were abusive in the belief they were caring for their children. This would also make every single one of the Cuy'val Dar dar'manda, which I think is a fascinating concept.

to answer your question directly, no, one cannot look at someone and know they're dar'manda, even the Force/Manda sensitive ones. one will only know in death, whether or not they have a place in the Manda.

NOW what does this mean for New Mandalorians?? well, by technicality and the way I've set the Manda up, one can interpret the Resol'nare in ways that could align with New Mandos. Perhaps they interpret "armour" as more than specifically "beskar'gam", maybe they wear armourweave or other protective fabrics. Maybe they interpret "defending one's family" as putting down arms instead of raising them, in order to create a peaceful future for their children. I think there are plenty of New Mandos that technically tick off all the boxes, and believe in themselves and their fellows so much that the Manda is like "yeah sure why not, we'll make that count". I think some tenants are more easily... bent, like swearing to the duchy in place of the Mand'alor, but I think an easy one New Mandos miss, is "speak Mando'a." I think many New Mandos were all too quick to switch to Basic for everything except religious and spiritual ceremonies, and I think those already in the Manda would find that very hard to forgive. I actually get into this a little in Dha Kar'ta very soon, but for this fic, i'll have Satine not outright outlawing Mando'a, but it is socially heavily discouraged. you're not allowed to speak it in the palace unless in aforementioned ceremonies, you cannot fill out paperwork in anything but Basic, you're not allowed to use Mando'a titles (including Mand'alor), you're not allowed to teach it to your children. no outright like. punishments for speaking it in public, but if your kids are caught, there are repercussions, including investigation into how else you're raising your kids, and if you're found to be doing anything else, they can take your kids from you. not every New Mando agrees with this, of course, and go about adhering to the Resol'nare as best they can in secret, but so many do give up the language by convincing themselves it's not as important as the other tenants and, well, the duchy hasn't steered them all wrong yet, has it?

okay so on the subject of what the outside galaxy is seeing. I like the headcanon/trope/idea of like. the one thing all factions of Mandalorians agreeing on is fuck everyone else. oh, the New Mandos will emulate the Core and the Republic, but they aren't the Republic nor want to be, and this animosity extends to keeping as many internal Mandlorian issues just that: internal. no faction can keep news from leaving the system or the sector, obviously, but there also isn't a lot of interest in Mandalorian news? "oh look all the Mandos are fighting again", except that's been the standard for like. actual thousands of years. I like when fic have people outside the sector not evening knowing there are different factions, so I'll be doing that here, too, and I like the idea of non-Republic sectors having their own holonets, separate from the Republic one. so like, if Obi-Wan happens to go a little viral during his mad dash to Keldabe, that would be on the Mandalorian holonet, not the Republic one, so even if Obi-Wan was visibly still a Jedi (and he wasn't), actual news of him wouldn't reach the Mid and Inner Rims until like. possible years after it happens.

could this maybe be expedited by Sith machinations? absolutely, though I'm not sure I want to go that route, since I don't think the Sith are overmuch interested in Mandalore at this point, at least not in any hands-on capacity. I'm unclear on whether them funding Death Watch is fanon or not, but it is a headcanon I subscribe to, and I think they'd have stopped funding DW after Galidraan, to cause worse infighting and prevent DW from gaining enough power to actually restart their imperial conquering days. Palpatine has been senator for about ten years by this point, but has very little political power overall, and Demask would be looking basically anywhere but Mandalore at this point in time, both of them having written it off until they actively need something from the sector. if anyone had clocked Obi-Wan as a Jedi, this all would have gone very differently, news would have spread much further and quicker and I think undoubtedly would have reached Palpatine, but since I have Obi-Wan just... cutting ties to anything Jedi, news of him remains in-sector. is this perhaps unrealistic? maybe, but I kind of want to focus on Mandalore and not worry about galactic-wide politics for once, lmao, actually very much like Obi-Wan is doing. however, he will clock a lack of Sith interference and thinks That's Very Weird.

haven't decided how he finds Palpatine out yet, but I think it'll have to do with his Manda senses being different than his Force ones, maybe the Ka'ra even gives him a few tips or gifts to sense Sith since they've allied and fought with them so much in the past. regardless, that'll be after he's become Mand'alor and united the clans.

now to actual plot progression! Obi-Wan meets up with the Old Guard, they don't know what to make of him other than "he's kriffing weird. and young. and creepy. and probably Manda-touched." whatever other verd is Manda-touched will see him blessed by the Ka'ra, which causes them to look inwards more closely and realise they trust Obi-Wan inexplicably, which means they're blessed by the Manda and the Will of the People, too. they wonder if Obi-Wan has noticed, if any of the other Old Guard have noticed. they are one of a few that notice Obi-Wan sneaking back out while everyone is arguing.

Vhonte Tervho is another. She's at this lil summit to represent clan Tervho, tho isn't the clan head, because her ba'vodu, a Manda-touched goran, had sensed she needed to be at the summit. said ba'vodu is of course the armorer who reforged Obi-Wan's armour (need to find a name for them hmm), who had told their clan they were to cease fighting until their new Mand'alor called on them. Vhonte sees Obi-Wan, realises at the same time as everyone that he's the Kih'Manda, the Mand'ika that the entire system had been gossiping about for weeks, and she thinks of what her ba'vodu said. she looks inwards, like they had taught her to, and finds, yes, she trusts Obi-Wan, just like she used to trust Jango. And, well, her Mand'alor is obviously leaving to go do something, and she isn't going to let him go it alone.

the Manda-touched verd doesn't go with them, wanting to see what comes of this, but they already know Obi-wan is Ka'ra Chosen. they will come when he calls.

[lemoncrushh]

Claiming His Territory

Summary: Harry gets jealous when he thinks another guy fancies you, and he decides to claim his territory.

Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, possessiveness, angst. 18+ ONLY!

Word Count: 4960

A/N: Here's another one shot from my 2016 collection. This was originally two parts, but I've combined them into one. Obviously, this is 1D Harry, and you're spending time with him on tour.

"Hey, Y/N," you heard a voice behind you say.

You quickly twirled around to see Dylan, the new drum tech, a huge grin on his face. He was carrying pieces of the drum kit as he was apparently making his way to the stage to set it up.

"Hey, you need some help with that?" you asked him, reaching for a cymbal that was slowly slipping from under his arm.

"Thanks," Dylan nodded sheepishly.

With a giggle, you took the cymbal from him and followed him through the backstage area. Your breath hitched in your throat as you stepped onto the stage and looked out at the empty seats. You'd seen this view a few times with Harry when you would come visit him on tour, but it never ceased to take your breath away. You still didn't know how he managed to face that many people night after night.

"You can just set that right there," directed Dylan, pointing at the floor next to the toms.

"Oh, okay."

"So how long have you been with One Direction?" asked Dylan as he adjusted the bass drum where he wanted it, a lock of his long blond hair falling over his right eye. You had already admitted to yourself a couple days ago when you'd first met that he was cute. And the way he smiled at you gave you goosebumps. But you were with Harry...

"Y/N," Dylan suddenly said, making you blink.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Dylan chuckled. "Is this your first tour with them?"

Finally understanding what he was asking you, you laughed and shook your head. "I don't work for them," you explained. "I'm not part of the crew."

"Oh!" exclaimed Dylan. "I just always see you in the hall helping somebody, I thought-"

"Heyyyy there you are!" a familiar voice sounded behind you. Before you could turn around, Harry had is arms wrapped around you, his lips on your jaw. "Been lookin' everywhere for you."

You swallowed hard as Harry's mouth trailed to your ear. "Um, I was just helping Dylan with the drums."

"Who's Dyl- oh, hey mate," said Harry, acknowledging the young man's presence.

Dylan jerked his head up with a curt nod, clearly now understanding that you were indeed not part of the crew, but Harry Styles' girlfriend. He fumbled with the hi-hat stand, nearly toppling it over when Harry grabbed your butt and you let out a squeal.

"Stop," you giggled, though you leaned back against him. "We're not alone, baby."

"Then let's go be alone," he murmured in your ear.

You rolled your eyes and looked over at Dylan just as Harry began to pull you back by your arm. "See ya, Dylan."

"Yeah, sure," he nodded again.

You kind of felt bad for the guy, but you didn't have time to dwell on it as Harry jogged down the hall, taking you with him. Finally pushing open a heavy black door, he pulled you inside, locking it behind you.

"I reckon somebody has a crush on my girl," Harry smirked, sliding his hands up your waist and back down.

"Oh please," you scoffed. "He was just being friendly. And I offered to help him with the drums."

"I could see the way he looked at you, love. His eyes said it all."

"I don't think he knew I was with you," you muttered as Harry's mouth found your jaw again and he backed you into the wall.

"Well, then, let's show him so he knows."

"What do you mean?" you teased.

"I mean 'm gonna leave my mark. To show you're mine." Harry lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours with fire in them. "C'mere."

Harry guided you to the nearby sofa where he pounced on you. You giggled with glee as you playfully pawed at him, helping him remove his t-shirt followed by your own.

"Tell me where," you hissed as Harry swiped his tongue across your collarbone, unclasping your bra with one hand.

"Where what, baby?" he mumbled.

"Where you're gonna leave your mark."

A deep growl rose from Harry's chest as he lifted himself up to look at you. Dropping your bra on the floor and lightly dragging his finger across your neck he whispered "here...", then he did the same down your shoulder and collarbone, "here...and here...", finally dragging it to your breast. "And here..."

"Mmmm," you sounded, reaching for him and eager for him to get started.

Devouring your neck, Harry sucked hard, the blood rising to the surface quickly. The sting only made you want more as you hastily unbuttoned his jeans for him. But Harry wasn't finished claiming his territory just yet. You clawed at his arms as he slid down to wet the top of your chest with his tongue. Leaving his next mark, you arched your back with a moan.

"Harry..." you said breathlessly. "Touch me. Please."

"Where baby?" he asked. "Right here?"

Grazing his thumb across your right nipple, Harry took your left one into his mouth, swirling his tongue across it. You let out a kitten-like cry before saying his name again. Reaching for his hand, you guided it where you wanted it between your legs.

"Ah, right there?" Harry teased as he rubbed you over your jeans. "'s that where you wanna be touched, baby?"

"Mmm hmm," you nodded with a pout.

"Then let's get these off, yeah?" he raised a brow, quickly unbuttoning your jeans.

You kicked off your shoes just in time for him to slip off your pants and underwear, leaving your naked body trembling underneath him.

"So pretty," Harry murmured, swiping his fingers up your slit. "And always so wet for me."

You nodded with a shy smile.

"This is mine, innit?" he added as you opened your legs wider.

"Yes," you replied.

"Yeah," he nodded, licking his lips.

With his free hand, Harry managed to push down his already open jeans, freeing his erection. You blinked at the sight of it, though you'd already seen it several times. Removing his fingers from your wetness momentarily, he produced a condom from his pocket and rolled it on.

"You ready for me, love?" he inquired, positioning himself between your thighs.

"Always," you said.

Harry smirked as he pushed in slowly. "Yeah ya are. Always ready. And so warm. Fuck."

His eyelids heavy, he began to thrust deep inside so you could feel all of him, stretching you to fit around him. Tiny mewls escaped your mouth as you grasped at his shoulders.

"God damn, I love the sounds you make," groaned Harry. "So fucking sexy."

Biting your bottom lip, you reached above your head to grab hold of the armrest. Then you lifted your leg up against the back of the sofa. Harry tried his best to focus on your face while he pumped, his perfect mouth open.

"You're mine, yeah?" he breathed.

You nodded. "Yes."

"Yeah. Nobody else's. All mine."

You weren't really sure where this possessiveness had come from, but you kind of liked it. You liked being Harry's. And the idea he was claiming you turned you on.

Harry lowered his head again, nibbling on your neck and sliding down to suck another tender spot, no doubt leaving another mark. You heard him moan against your skin as he thrust harder and faster. You felt yourself reach the edge, a deep rumbling in your core.

"Fuck, Harry..." you cried.

"You gonna come for me?" he asked, lifting his head to look at you again.

You nodded, your eyes wide. Hard breaths puffed out of your mouth as you grabbed his hips, guiding him deeper.

"Right there," you instructed.

Harry covered your mouth with his, slipping his tongue inside to meet yours. You felt your orgasm rip through you then as you moaned against his lips. Harry bit your bottom lip, dragging his teeth across it before releasing it. His eyes looked wild as he stared at you. You could tell he was close.

"Does it feel good?" you asked him.

"Fuck yeah, baby. That pussy's so wet and all mine."

You grinned at him. "Yes, Harry. Take it, baby."

Harry shut his eyes as he let out a quick chuckle and licked his lips. With two more thrusts he was moaning your name as he came.

You laid on the couch together for a few minutes while you tried to wait for your breaths to even out. Suddenly you heard a soft pout before you felt a wetness on your neck. Realizing Harry was licking your skin, you giggled.

"What are you doing?"

"I think I mighta got a bit carried away," he replied.

"How many are there?" you inquired.

"Um...like five?"

Your chest shook with laughter as Harry sat up. "Sorry, babe."

"I'm sure it's fine," you commented.

Harry excused himself to the restroom while you sat up and got dressed. When you stood, you walked over to a nearby mirror to inspect Harry's work. Five might have been an exaggeration, but he'd definitely left his mark on you. One particular love bite almost covered the entire left side of your neck.

"Jesus," you muttered, covering it with your hand.

"Told you," you heard Harry say behind you.

You turned to face him with a shrug. "Well you definitely got your point across."

"Are you mad?" he asked hesitantly.

"No," you shook your head, walking around him toward the bathroom.

"You sure?"

You waved your hand above your head, not bothering to turn around. "It's fine."

Shutting the door behind you, you inspected your neck and shoulders better in the bathroom mirror. You weren't exactly sure why, but the sight unnerved you. Harry wasn't known to be the jealous type. So maybe he had just been playing. Or maybe it was just the adrenaline and the height of passion that made him so animalistic. Even during the sex, you hadn't thought anything was out of the ordinary. But thinking about it now, and looking at the evidence, it sure seemed like Harry had been trying to prove something.

Was he really upset about you talking to Dylan? Had he truly had a problem with the way he looked at you? You honestly hadn't noticed anything, other than the fact that he was cute. But it wasn't like he'd been flirting, and neither had you.

What had suddenly made Harry want to be so possessive and claim his territory?

Opening the bathroom door, you stepped back into the dressing room. Harry sat on the sofa, but you barely looked at him. Instead you made your way to the exit.

"Where are you going?" you heard him ask.

"Gonna try to find a scarf or something," you replied.

"So ya are mad," remarked Harry.

"I didn't say I was mad. Did I say that?" you jerked around, your hands on your hips.

"Your tone says you're mad."

"So I have a tone now?"

Harry groaned, running a hand down his face. "Babe, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

You sighed loudly, dropping your arms. "I said it's fine, Harry. I'm not mad. It's just kind of embarrassing is all."

Harry glared at you with a set jaw. Grabbing the doorknob, you swung the heavy door open.

"I gotta go find something. I'll be back," you announced.

You made your way outside to the tour buses, stepping onto the one you'd arrived on, quickly finding your suitcase. You hadn't remembered packing any scarves, and coming up empty handed confirmed it. The next best thing was your favorite hoodie, a pink one from Victoria's Secret which didn't match your outfit, but it would have to do. Slipping it on and zipping it up, you pulled your hair over your neck and shoulders, trying your best to cover what the hoodie didn't.

Okay, so you were mad. Maybe mad wasn't the right word. Just...irritated. Perturbed. But you knew it was partially your own fault. You'd certainly had a part in Harry's assault on your skin, hell you'd even egged him on, asking where he was planning on marking you. But now you felt weird about it...almost dirty.

But what bothered you the most was that he'd done it after seeing you talking to another guy. A guy whom you paid no mind to. You thought Dylan was cute, but that was as far as it went. And Harry had never been the jealous type.

Stepping off the bus, you returned to the venue where the activity had picked up and the hallway was more crowded than before. Harry's dressing room was now empty, and for a moment you considered just sitting alone for a while until you heard your name called.

"Hey, Dylan," you said softly when you saw him coming towards you.

"Hey, um, sorry about earlier," he muttered.

"What for?"

"You know...um...I didn't know that you were...with Harry."

"Oh," you looked down at your hands. "It's okay."

"I guess maybe I should keep track of who's with whom," he grinned sheepishly.

You gazed back up at him, shaking your head. "You can't be expected to know. Besides, it's not like you were flirting with me or anything. I was just helping you with the drums."

Dylan chuckled, that same strand of blonde falling over his eye again. "Yeah, sure," he nodded. Then leaning in closer, he whispered, "Maybe I kinda was."

Biting your lip, you felt yourself blush. You weren't quite sure how to respond to that. Since being with Harry, guys hadn't been flirting with you. Or if they had, you sure as hell hadn't noticed.

"Um...okay," you muttered, absentmindedly combing your hair behind your ear. That's when you noticed Dylan's eyes widen.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed, stepping back.

"What?" you asked a millisecond before you realized. He'd seen the marks.

"Guess he wasn't kiddin'," said Dylan, pointing at your neck.

Ashamed, you tilted your head and pulled your hair back over to hide Harry's love bites.

"He told me you were his," Dylan added, "But I guess he wants everyone to be aware."

You furrowed your brows. "Wait, you talked to him?"

Dylan shrugged. "If you could call it that. I didn't get much say in the matter. He just came up to me a minute ago and said, 'just so you know...Y/N is mine.' And he walked off. I didn't really take it as a threat then but..."

Your shoulders fell and your mouth went dry.

"Guess he's claimed his territory," Dylan finished before walking off, leaving you standing dumbfounded in the hallway.

"Hey, doll," greeted Lou when you entered the room designated for hair and makeup. Liam had just left the room with a short wave of his hand, and you were grateful to find it empty now except for her.

"Hi," you barely mumbled as you sunk into a chair.

"Something wrong?" she inquired as she returned a makeup brush to its caddy.

With a long sigh, you pushed your hair back to reveal the hickeys on your neck and shoulder.

"Bloody hell!" exclaimed Lou.

You groaned. "Help."

"Were you snogging all day? What-"

"Never mind," you got up to leave, but Lou called you back.

"I'm sorry, love, c'mere. I think I have something to cover it."

You sat back in the chair and Lou got to work putting makeup on your neck, at least the areas that were most exposed. You focused on the various cosmetics on the counter so you wouldn't have to look at her face, knowing it was probably full of shame. You appreciated her silence, however, until she finally said you were good to go.

"Thanks," you muttered as you stood, still pulling your hoodie tight around you just in case.

"Y/N," you heard Lou call as you reached the door. You turned to look at her. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," you nodded.

"Alright," she sighed. "Just know that I'm here if you ever need to chat. And anything you say never leaves this room, you hear?"

You smiled softly at her. "Thanks, Lou."

You'd just rounded the corner when a tall frame nearly bumped into you.

"Hey! Was looking for you," said Harry. "Did you find something?"

"Um...yeah," you stammered, licking your lips, grabbing the zipper pull of your hoodie and moving it up and down. "Lou helped me out with some makeup."

"Oh, right," he nodded. "Good."

"Harry, we need to talk," you gazed up at him.

He furrowed his brows, looking past you. "Show's about to start, babe."

"What did you say to Dylan?" you asked, ignoring his words.

Harry's eyes darted everywhere but at your own which told you all you needed to know. But you still wanted to hear it from his lips.

"Harry..."

"I just told him you were mine."

"Did you threaten him?"

Harry finally looked at your face, shaking his head. "No, not at all. I just wanted to make sure he knew you were taken."

"Harry, he wasn't even doing anything," you scoffed. "We were just talking. For like five minutes!"

"I've seen the way he looks at you," declared Harry in an accusing tone.

You rolled your eyes. "How does he look at me?"

"Like how I look at you!" he exclaimed.

You threw up your hands. "So fucking what?"

"I don't like it," Harry's voice dropped so low you barely heard his reply.

"Harry, what the hell is going on? You've never acted jealous before."

Harry stood up straight, his chest puffing out as he crossed his arms. "Do I have a reason to be jealous?"

Your mouth opened to retort, but you stopped. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Harry never acted like this. Never.

"You're unbelievable," you shook your head and turned to walk away. "We'll talk about this later."

"Hey, you're the one who said we needed to talk now," you felt his hand on your arm. You shook it off.

"We're not talking about this now!" you yelled through clenched teeth. You held your hands up in front of you. "I need to calm down, and you have a show to do."

"Y/N," said Harry, his tone softer now.

"Go," you pointed to the backstage area. "Your fans are waiting."

You felt the bile rise in your throat as tears threatened to release from your eyes. Turning once again, you zig zagged through the crowd whom no doubt had heard at least some of your squabble.

"Hey, doll," Lou stopped you. "You coming to sit with me?"

"Not yet," you blinked. "I need to be alone for a minute."

Without another word, Lou merely nodded, patting your arm before making her way to the family seats. You walked to Harry's dressing room, immediately locking the door behind you and lying on the sofa, finally allowing the tears to fall.

You didn't understand it. You tried your best to recall the evening's events that had let up to this. Just an hour ago you were on this same sofa as Harry fucked you, sucking on your neck and telling you how you were his. You'd liked it, his possessiveness as he claimed what was his. But the marks had left you feeling uneasy, and then to find out he actually did have a problem with Dylan...it made you wanna throw up. The look in his eyes when he asked if he had a reason to be jealous sent you over the edge. You were hurt and angry at the same time. This...this was not the Harry you knew. This was someone else.

Despite the noise on the other side of the door, you somehow managed to cry yourself to sleep. When you woke up, you sat up, realizing the concert still had half an hour left. Wiping your eyes, you used the restroom and emerged from the dressing room. You were halfway down the hall when you spotted Dylan. With an uneasy smile, you walked up to him.

"Hi," you greeted.

"I don't think you're supposed to be talking to me," he proclaimed.

You rolled your eyes and folded your arms across your chest. "What the fuck ever." Another tear escaped your eye and rolled down your cheek. As you swiped it away with the back of your hand, Dylan stepped closer to you.

"Hey," he said softly. "I was just joking."

"I know," you sniffed.

"You okay?"

"No," you replied quickly, looking up at him. "No, I'm definitely not okay."

"You wanna go somewhere and talk?"

The sounds of cheering fans and the boys singing "Story of My Life" seemed miles away.

"Yeah," you sighed, running your fingers through your hair. "But can we talk about something else? Anything else?"

Dylan grinned. "You bet. C'mon."

You sat alone on the bus, waiting for Harry. You'd decided to wait for him there instead of his dressing room. You knew he was more than likely going to be mad, or at least a little confused as to why you hadn't gone to watch the show. So, you figured you'd give him some time to cool down, take a shower and get dressed before meeting you on the bus.

After talking to Dylan, you felt a little better. He was really nice and funny and took your mind off of everything. You hoped that you could talk to Harry and assure him that you were his and he had no cause to be jealous. But when he stepped onto the bus and you caught the look on his face, you knew that had been too much to ask.

"Hey," you whispered.

With a scowl, Harry walked right past you without so much as a nod. You watched him as he headed toward the back of the bus.

"Harry..." you sounded.

Nothing. He was ignoring you. You had to admit that hurt even worse.

"Harry, talk to me please," you called.

"Oh, so now you wanna talk?" he jerked around, a horrible mean look on his face.

"Yes."

His jaw set, he closed the space between you swiftly. "Why didn't you come to watch the show?"

"Because I was upset," you replied. "I didn't feel like it."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Didn't feel like it. What were you doing?"

Stepping back, you shoved your hands in the pockets of your hoodie. "Nothing. I went to sleep in your dressing room."

Harry nodded slowly, an accusing look in his eyes. "Right."

Almost feeling frightened, you glared at him. "Harry, what the fuck is going on?"

"Why don't you tell me? One minute you're moaning my name, begging me to touch you, and the next you're embarrassed by me."

"How dare you turn this around on me! I'm not the jealous one here!" you yelled.

"I'm not bloody jealous, Y/N! You think I'm jealous of that twat?"

"Why else did you make such a point of leaving so many hickeys on me?"

"I told you got carried away!" Harry exclaimed. "I didn't mean to."

"Did you mean to go up to Dylan afterwards and threaten him?" you asked.

"I-" Harry glared at you. "Did he tell you that?"

"No," you looked down at your hands. "He just said you came up to him and told him I'm yours, and-"

"So you talked to him." It was a statement, not a question. A statement and an accusation.

"Harry, I think I can talk to whomever I choose. And you're being a little ridiculous."

"Ridiculous?" Harry raised his brows.

"Yeah. And frankly, a bit scary if I'm being honest. I don't know what's gotten into you."

"Fuck!" Harry turned his back on you, his fists at his sides as he walked to the back of the bus.

Trying to keep your calm, you took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Just then Niall stepped onto the bus behind you.

"Um...everythin' okay?" he inquired.

"Yeah," you bit your lip, stepping back to allow him to pass.

"Ya sure?"

About to nod, Harry turned around an answered for you. "Apparently showing your girlfriend how sexy you think she is and how proud you are to be fucking her pussy isn't allowed."

Your bottom lip trembling, you stared at Harry for a moment. "Fuck you."

"Whoa," Niall muttered as you stomped off the bus.

You could hear Harry calling after you as you ran toward the venue, but you didn't bother to turn around. Liam was just exiting the back door and Louis was halfway towards the bus, both of them stopping in their tracks to watch the scene unfold.

"Y/N!" Harry shouted. "Wait!"

"Leave me alone!" you screamed as you neared the door. "I wish we never met!"

You didn't look back as you continued to run through the hall. You stopped only when you saw Dylan emerge from behind the stage, drum pieces in his hands. Your chest heaving, you swallowed hard. Your eyes met, but you remained silent. Instead you turned toward the makeup room, finding Lou packing the rest of her products.

"Jesus, what's wrong, doll?" she asked when she saw your wild eyes.

Your knees buckling, you broke down right there. Lou reached her arms out to embrace you, allowing you to cry on her shoulder. You stayed in that position for a long time, your body shaking as you cried over and over. Lou rubbed your back, told you to let it out, and that everything was gonna be okay.

"Baby..." you suddenly heard behind you.

"Go away," you mumbled in Lou's shirt.

"Baby, I didn't mean it," said Harry. "God, you know how I feel about you."

Still keeping your back to him, you lifted your head to look at Lou. She had a kind expression on her face, silently urging you to listen to him.

"Don't you?" Harry sounded. You could tell he was closer. "Please say you do. Baby, I'm crazy about you."

Shutting your eyes, you scoffed. "Crazy about sums it up."

"I know. I deserve that."

You wiped your eyes as Lou released you from her grasp and turned you around. Harry had a somber look in his eyes, his body slack from defeat.

"I can't excuse the way I've acted," he said softly. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never felt like this before."

"Like what?" you asked.

"Jealous," Harry shrugged. Then he let out a slight chuckle. "Fuck me, I'm jealous. And I don't know why."

"I don't know why either, Harry. There's absolutely no reason to be jealous. I barely know that guy. And until tonight he didn't even know I wasn't part of the crew let alone your girlfriend."

Harry hung his head. "I realize that. I honestly don't know what got into me. At first I-"

Harry lifted his head then, and you heard Lou clear her throat behind you. "Let me just get this," she said, grabbing her makeup caddies. Once she left the room, Harry turned back to you.

"At first I thought it was just kinda hot, you know me claiming my territory, showing that kid - and everyone else - you belong to me. But once I was inside you...it was like something happened, some switch went off and I couldn't stop. And you were loving it too, begging me. Like I said...I got carried away. Then I could tell you were embarrassed by the marks and I'll admit, it made me mad. I didn't want you to be embarrassed. I wanted you to be proud and flaunt it in front of his face. Like 'fuck yeah, my man fucks me good'."

"Harry..." you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

"I know, it sounds stupid now. But that's what was in my head then."

Licking your lips, you looked down at the floor and then back up at him. "You scared me."

"When?"

"On the bus. I've never seen you like that. I've never seen you like...any of this," you shook your head. "It's frightening, and I don't like it."

"I know, love," Harry reached for your hands. "I don't like it either. But I swear, I didn't mean what I said."

"I know," you replied softly.

"I'm hoping you didn't mean what you said either. That you wish we never met."

You sighed. "Of course I didn't, Harry. I just..."

"You just what?"

"I just..." you released your hands from his and combed a hand through your hair. "I think maybe we should cool it for a little while."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm gonna go on home earlier than I planned. I'll ask Lou if I can stay with her til tomorrow. I'm sure there's a flight I can take."

"Baby..." Harry tried to reach for you again.

You bit your lip and held up your hand. "Please, Harry. I think...I think it's best. For right now. I'll come back later. If you still want me."

"Of course I want you, Y/N. I want you now! With me!"

Covering his mouth with your finger, you silenced him. Then dropping your hand, you placed a soft kiss on his lips. "It's gonna be okay," you murmured.

"Not without you," he pouted.

You mustered up your best smile as you dragged the backs of your fingers down his cheek, then squeezed his arm. "Goodnight."

Turning on your heels, you headed back down the hall to the exit doors. You were halfway there when Harry called your name once again. Stopping, your turned around to see him standing in the middle of the hall.

"I love you," he declared.

You sucked in your lips as your insides trembled. He'd never said it before.

"I love you, too," you echoed before blowing him a kiss and walking out of the venue.

Sorry about that sad ending. I don't really remember why I decided to end it that way lol. I guess I felt more realistic with all the angst than to give it a happy ending. Also, the "I wish we never met" line was a prompt I'd received so I threw it into this story. It's pretty harsh, I know. Hope you enjoyed anyway.

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[hard-core-super-star]

Random thought popped into my head but it's about vampire Kate x reader. What if reader was a witch of some sort who got her heart broken because Kate is an fboy and became terrified and left when she realized how much she loved the reader but came crawling back a year later because she needed reader's witchy help and they ended up casually flirting because they clearly still have feelings for each other and stuff

ain't that the kicker [K.Bishop]

pairing: vampire!kate x reader

summary: the morning after your late-night encounter with kate doesn't go quite as planned...and neither does the day after that or the day after that. [aka you and kate have way more issues than you thought]

warnings: none, i think?; did somebody order angst?; so much tension, you need more than one knife; i rob you of a longer wanda scene; cliffhanger ending because this got too long; weird vampire powers that are badly explained; very long dream sequences; a surprising lack of actual vampire stuff [i badly need to rewatch first kill]; idiots in love but emphasis on the idiots!

wodcount: 3.2k

a/n: hey everyone, my motivation was pretty dead for a while but, unsurprisingly, vampire kate brought it back! and before you all freak out, YES! THERE WILL BE ANOTHER PART! and maybe it'll be less sad and more spicy, who knows? anyway, thank you so much for sticking with me and my constant disappearing act. my second year at university is wrapping up so hopefully you’ll see more of me this summer ;) that's all i have to say, hope you enjoy <3

part one | part three | part four

* * * * * * *

Saying going home with Kate Bishop had been a bad idea would be a massive understatement.

You knew being alone with the heir of Bishop Security would come with problems but the problems all seemed relatively small compared to the continuous waves of pleasure you had been under all night.

To be fair, though, you never expected a grainy picture of you on Kate's lap to be part of that list of problems. You had expected some awkwardness from the charming brunette, the usual "we can't do this again" speech while actively making out in some random storage closet, maybe even some weird looks from your co-workers to further complicate things.

Your original plan had featured everything except you going viral overnight and waking up to the biggest PR disaster to ever hit Bishop Security. (Which is saying a lot considering the many one-night stand scandals Kate always finds herself wrapped up in)

You had so many ideas of what the morning after would be like but none of them included you waking up to an empty bed and a large pit in your stomach that tells you you fucked up big time.

Maybe it had been your fault, maybe you had been too naive for thinking you could really have it all.

Or maybe Kate was right. Maybe she had a longer list of enemies than you had been willing to entertain.

There were far too many “maybe’s” in your mind, an overwhelming amount of notifications on your phone, and you had no idea where Kate had gone.

You’re not sure how long you spend scrolling through Twitter and avoiding all the texts filled with unanswerable questions from your co-workers but eventually, you manage to regain control of yourself and get up from the archer’s ridiculously comfortable bed. You do your best to ignore how shaky your legs are as you get dressed, your mind unfortunately drifting to the night before.

You manage to find your way to the kitchen where there's a full spread of, slightly burnt, breakfast waiting for you. Your heart swells as you read the messy handwriting on the post-it note next to the biggest stack of pancakes you’ve ever seen.

Morning, sunshine. I didn’t know what you were in the mood for so I made a bit of everything. Eat as much as you can, you’ll need a lot of food and water to recover from last night ;) - Kate

It’s impossible to stop the wave of relief that crashes into you after reading that.

As impossible as it feels, you allow yourself to believe things will be fine. That Kate will stick by your side after opening up to you about her supernatural abilities.

But the fantasy doesn’t last long.

You’re halfway through your breakfast when you hear the front door slam shut with so much force you briefly wonder if the hinges came off. It takes no more than fifteen seconds for the archer to appear in front of you, her shoulders tense and an unreadable storm in her eyes.

Her posture already tells you the answer to the question forming on your lips but you ask anyway. “Everything okay?”

She seems almost startled by the sound of your voice as if hearing you makes you real.

It makes the mess you’re both in real.

“No,” she sighs. “I have some shitty news.”

“Shittier than being called a slut by all of New York?” You reply, unable to stop the urge to make her smile.

Kate doesn’t fully smile but she does let out a small chuckle, her shoulders dropping into a less tense position as the sound escapes her. “Yeah…shittier than that.”

You should’ve known where the conversation was headed. Should’ve realized there was no way you’d be able to have it all. No way for you to continue with your life as if nothing had happened.

Maybe you are too naive because you truly didn’t see her next sentence coming.

“y/n…I have to fire you and we...we can’t do this again. This has to be goodbye.”

Everything crashes into you at once.

The realization of what you’ve actually done, the stupid ease with which Kate is cutting you out of her life, the betrayal of her practically kicking you out onto the streets. You’re not an idiot, you know there’s no way you’ll be able to keep your apartment, your humble yet expensive life in New York, without your job.

Without her.

“You…you’re serious? You’re throwing me out just like that?”

“It’s not easy for me either-”

“It looks pretty damn easy, Kate.” You scoff.

“You’re not the one who spent her whole morning getting chewed out by her mom.” Her words come out like an afterthought, like she knows just how badly she’ll fuck up if you hear the annoyance behind them.

Unfortunately for her, you hear her loud and clear.

“Oh, come on. That’s your excuse? You had one bad conversation with your mom and suddenly I don’t mean anything?”

She doesn’t reply and her silence only serves to stoke the flames of fury and resentment rising within your chest.

“Do you know how many death threats I’ve gotten in the last hour? How many coworkers have tried to blackmail me already? Do you understand just how much of my life this has ruined? And you have the audacity to act like you have it hard?”

“Don’t pretend like you know anything about my life,” she spits back. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it, Katherine. If I didn’t know you, if you didn’t care, why the hell did you tell me your dirty little secret?”

She blinks, taken aback by the hard-hitting truth you throw her way.

If you didn’t know her, you wouldn’t notice the way she nervously fidgets with her fingers or the way she bites down on her lower lip while she tries to come up with something to say. If you didn’t know her, you wouldn’t know she’s hurting underneath.

You do know her, though, but knowing her isn’t enough if she’s not willing to let you stay.

So, because you do know her…you walk away.

It feels like giving up in the most infuriating of ways but it’s the only thing you can do. If Kate’s mind is made up, there’s no amount of reason that will get her to change. That’s another thing about her you’ve learned the hard way.

So you swallow your pride and walk away with no plan, no job, no way of supporting yourself. If you were a more spiteful person, you would have applied for a job at Stark Industries but instead, you do the second hardest thing you’ve ever done.

You restart.

It’s a bitter defeat and still, you pack up your things and pay an old friend a visit.

You had left Wanda behind after the Westview fiasco but she’s the only person you can think of running to after your entire life went up in flames. All it takes is one quick spell and the realization that a life without dark magic isn’t one you can live before you’re standing on the porch of her small cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Saying she’s disappointed would be an understatement, especially since she explicitly warned you not to fall in love with Kate Bishop. It’s hard to believe the witch knew about Kate’s vampire secret but you also wouldn’t be surprised if she knew what awaited you the second you left for New York.

Unfortunately, you had to learn things the hard way.

You could write multiple books on everything you’ve learned the hard way.

At the top of that list, though, is the true extent of a certain archer’s vampire powers.

It takes less than a month for Kate to reach you again…through your dreams. Dreams that feel far too real and leave you a tad bit more breathless than you’ll ever be willing to admit.

The first time it happens, you assume it’s one of Wanda’s new tricks, maybe it’s her way of helping you cope with what (or rather who) you’ve left behind. You think it’s weird but maybe a tad bit sweet and you make a mental note to ask her about it in the morning.

It’s not until you realize that you’re actively thinking that you start to worry.

To make matters worse, you’re inside Kate’s apartment…and she quite literally stumbles out of her bedroom to see you standing in the middle of her living room.

“Oh, shit.” She groans.

Your heart skips a beat at the sound of her voice. You know you’re just dreaming and yet it all feels so real. It’s like you can feel her eyes on you, hear the way your heart won’t stop pounding in your ears.

Your confusion must be written all over your face because she answers your question before you can even ask it.

“Yes, you are dreaming but this isn’t like a normal dream.”

“What the fuck happened to you not being a mind reader?” You blurt out.

You wait for that stupid smirk of hers to appear, maybe with a half-assed shrug and a semi-charming joke, but it never comes. “My dream, my rules, I guess.”

“That still doesn’t explain what’s going on.”

A beat of silence goes by before she sort of gives you an answer. “I can explain but you might hate me afterwards.”

The look in her eyes says more than you can possibly handle right now. You’ve never known Kate to be particularly insecure but all you can see in those blue depths is fear and insecurity. Fear that your feelings for her have changed, that you already hate her and never want to hear from her again.

Too bad you’ve never been good at lying.

“Try me.”

The corners of her mouth quirk up into a small smile. “Long story short, we’re bonded. That’s why we’re in each other’s dreams.”

There’s a bigger question to be asked but you’re still a little freaked out by how real this all feels. By how intense your feelings for her still are.

“But this isn’t like a normal dream, is it?”

“Nope, perks of having vampire powers.”

“So, you can do everything except read minds?” You can’t help but tease her like all the times before. “That sucks.”

“Shut up,” she says with an over-dramatic roll of her eyes.

A calm silence falls over both of you and you hate how normal it feels. How just like that, you forget your anger and the betrayal you’ve felt every minute since the day you left New York in favor of falling for her stupidly enchanting self all over again.

It doesn’t help that with every second, the distance between you gets smaller and smaller.

You don’t know who takes the first step, all you know is you blink and suddenly she’s standing right in front of you, those soft blue eyes of hers searching for the truth you can’t hide.

“y/n,” she murmurs, her hand tentatively reaching out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t what you wanted.”

She’s technically not wrong, leaving because of her incapability to deal with her feelings was the last thing you wanted, but it’s not like you had any other choice.

She didn’t give you any other choice.

And now she’s here, staring at you with that wounded puppy look she so effortlessly embodies.

“I wanted you,” you whisper in response. “When are you going to get that through your thick skull?”

She chuckles, the sound warm but nervous. Her hand moves to cup your face and her touch is so soft, it leaves you breathless for a moment. “Never, I’m too stubborn for that, remember?”

You can’t help but tease her as the atmosphere shifts into something more affectionate than you’d like. “How could I forget? It’s your worst trait.”

“Ouch. Is that how you treat your favorite vampire?”

“Aw, poor little vampire baby.”

You wait for her to make one of her usual jokes but she doesn’t.

Instead, her eyes drift down to your lips and your mind instantly goes blank.

There’s an endless list of reasons why you shouldn’t do it. Just because it’s a dream doesn’t mean it isn’t a bad idea. Then again…when has that ever stopped you from being with Kate Bishop?

It’s subtle but you lean forward just enough to give her the invitation she’s too much of a gentleman to ask for. Her eyes widen the slightest bit before she meets you in the middle, the space between your lips becoming nonexistent in the span of a few seconds.

You try your hardest to hold on to your self control, to not seem as desperate as you’ve felt since that first night, but it’s useless. Your hands grip the front of her shirt in an attempt to pull her closer despite how insane everything is.

You’re simply dreaming and yet you can feel every touch, every breath, every desperate effort to make your desires a reality. You would feel embarrassed if Kate wasn’t acting the same way.

Her lips leave yours only to trail down to your neck, her fangs instantly teasing the sensitive skin she finds. The anticipation builds inside your chest as she toys with you and it’s all you can do not to beg for more.

“Kate.” Her name leaves your lips in the form of a whisper that disappears just as fast as it formed.

All you hear is her sharp intake of breath before it all fades to black.

Your eyes snap open and you’re greeted with the absolute silence you’re starting to associate with Wanda’s cabin. All you can do is lay there in the darkness, your heart pounding in your ears while your fingers trace the spot Kate’s lips had just been on.

It had all felt so real and now you’re all alone again. It shouldn’t be surprising at this point and yet you still hold on to the hope Kate will come looking for you.

But she doesn’t.

All she does is haunt your dreams in the most literal way possible. She doesn’t come to find you and fix your many, many issues, instead, she simply appears in your dreams long enough to send your mind reeling without offering any solutions.

You wish you could hate her for doing this to you but you can’t.

You love her.

Worse than that, you love her more and more each night. Even though it’s not nearly enough to heal any of your wounds, and maybe it only serves to hurt you more, it’s definitely addicting.

Wanda offers to help you sever the connection between you and Kate, something about a spell she read in the Darkhold being her only assurance that she knows what she’s doing. You don’t fully trust her on that but you do consider the option for longer than you want to admit.

You reason with yourself that there are much worse things to deal with on a daily basis than highly realistic dreams, though. That being bonded to a vampire isn't the worst thing in the world.

And maybe that would be true…if the vampire in question wasn't Kate Bishop.

You don't know what possesses you to ask but the question slips out in the middle of another midnight rendezvous. It’s been a little over two month since you moved away from New York, a little over two months since you've shared these weird dreams with Kate, when you finally ask.

“What exactly did you do for us to be bonded to each other?”

The question must catch her off guard given the way her eyes widen in panic. “What?”

“You said these weird dreams happen because we’re bonded or something but you never explained how that happened.” You watch the brunette from your spot on the couch and impatiently wait for a response, for something that will help you make sense of everything.

She swallows back her nervousness but gives herself away due to the way she fidgets with the rings on her hand. “Oh, yeah, that…it’s because I bit you that night in my apartment…remember?”

Her awkwardness would be endearing if her response wasn't so damn suspicious.

“Yeah but you're a vampire, biting people is kind of your thing. You're not automatically bonded to every person you bite, right?”

A beat of silence passes before she answers, her voice shaking the slightest bit. “No that…that only happens when there are…certain feelings involved.”

It takes a second for her answer to click in your brain. For her sudden nervousness to hold real meaning.

The answer hits you like a train and it makes your blood boil like nothing else.

“Kate, tell me that doesn't mean what I think it means. Tell me you didn't fire me because you were too afraid of having feelings for me.”

“y/n-”

“For fuck’s sake, Kate!”

The sudden frustration in your voice makes her jump, hundreds of meaningless explanations forming on the tip of her tongue.

You don't hear a word she says.

You can't hear anything besides the pounding in your heart and the devastation that threatens to swallow you whole.

You always knew being with Kate would be impossible but this was something else entirely. This wasn't a lack of feelings between you two, this was too many feelings and too many miles of distance and not one ounce of regret from her.

You're not sure when you stood up from your spot or when she approached you, you simply feel her hand on your waist and the unmistakable sound of her breathing.

“y/n,” she tries again. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m so tired of hearing you say that.”

“I know.”

The last thing you feel is her lips on the back of your neck before you wake up. Alone. Again.

Wanda must catch on to your desperation because she brings up the idea of cutting your connection with Kate that same morning.

“It’ll only be temporary,” she assures you. “No offense but you need sleep more than you need Kate Bishop.”

“I’m a little offended,” you grumble in response.

Despite your reservations, and the voice in the back of your head that tells you running away again is a bad idea, you go along with her plan. She's right, after all. You definitely need some time away from Kate Bishop and her never-ending messes.

The spell is simpler than you expect and it, thankfully, requires pretty much no effort on your part and no weird liquids.

It does also bring the best sleep you’ve had in months so you can’t complain…even when you wake up missing the sound of the archer’s voice.

You still miss her every day and you're sure that won't change any time soon but you welcome the peace with open arms.

Wanda spends her time teaching you random spells while you help her build a nice flower garden in the backyard. It's weird but…comforting.

You could even get used to life out here someday.

At least, that's what you keep telling yourself as the weeks go by.

Until Kate shows up unannounced and flips your world upside down again with those same soft eyes you fell on love with all those months ago.

[screamforyani]

hello!! i wanted to say that i really love your writing!!

and i also wanted to share one of my thought about gf!ethan making you play the nastiest game ever, him threatening that if you don’t do what he wants (in a sexual way) he’ll kill one of your friend!

have a nice day!!🤍

ultimatum

warnings: noncon to dubcon, ghostface phonecall kinda, no original thoughts because i completely ripped this off from scream 5

wc. 1.6k

you hated being alone on friday nights, because you were always bored. 

usually, tara would have dragged you out to some party with her that sam could never know she went to, but she was busy with her boytoy tonight.

boring. or maybe it was because you were slightly jealous. at least one of us are getting some action tonight, you thought.

you grabbed your phone, deciding to text tara anyways. not that you thought she would respond. when chad was in the room with her, your best friend had a one-track mind.

you: i’m sooooooooo bored 

you: tell chadwick you have a very angry best friend who owns a plastic machete and a very heavy ceiling fan

you: i will unscrew the ceiling fan.

just as you put your phone down to get up and grab some yogurt, you heard it start to vibrate on your coffee table. you furrowed your brows. that was quick. chad must have been in the bathroom or something. 

you picked it up, answering lightheartedly, “tara, you monster. i can’t believe you left me all alone.”

“it’s not tara.”

you arched a brow. that voice was a hell of a lot deeper, definitely not your best friend’s snarky tone. “chad?”

the person on the other line chuckled. “wrong again. come on, try one more time.”

that was when the familiarity of the voice dawned on you. you’d seen a couple of stab movies before and those cliches were coming back to you. your heart raced a little faster, wondering if this was some prank, but chad and tara wouldn’t do that. “you’re the killer.”

“see, i knew you could do it,” said the killer on the phone, almost sounding excited. 

you were rooted in place, hissing, “what did you do with tara and chad?”

“oh, nothing. they’re fine. for now,” he said ominously, unnerving you completely. “but they won’t be if you don’t do what i want.”

“what do you want?” you asked, bringing the phone from your ear to put the call on speaker so that you could text sam. 

“i wouldn’t do that if i were you,” he warned.

you paused, glancing around. “you can fucking see me right now?”

“of course i can. those cameras in your living room aren’t doing you justice right now. i’m sure you look even better in person. whose t-shirt are you wearing? it’s a few sizes too big on you.”

your heart started to race and you glanced around, looking for a weapon. you weren’t safe. and neither were your friends. 

“what are you going to use, huh? that plastic machete? or are you going to unscrew the ceiling fan?” the killer teased. 

you snarled, “fuck you.”

ghostface said nothing while you walked out of the living room, but before your fingers could even brush the kitchen knife, your phone buzzed in your hand. it was a video outside of tara’s bedroom window, of her laying on chad’s chest. you gulped. 

“don’t they look so cute together?” ghostface asked with a chuckle, speaking again. “you have two options. it’s a simple choice, really. either do what i say or i’ll cut their fun short.”

you backed away from the knives, taking a huge breath while you re-entered the living room. this fucking asshole. you were at his mercy.

“smart choice!” he exclaimed. 

you grumbled, “what do you want me to do?”

“take off that shirt.”

you paralyzed at his request, not wanting to commit to it in the slightest. for fuck’s sake, this guy wanted you to give him a fucking strip tease? you weren’t an expert on these kinds of things, but you figured he had to be somebody that you knew. he could have just asked.

ghostface yawned, as if to say he was getting bored. “tick tock. i have a short attention span, you know. the thought of slicing open your friends is starting to get really enticing right now.”

you huffed in annoyance, throwing the goddamn shirt above your head. it was ethan’s. your friends spent a lot of time your place because you were the only one that lived alone. you snapped, “are you happy?”

“not yet,” he said darkly. “you see that stuffed animal by your television? pick it up. i want you to ride it.”

“you can’t be serious,” you grumbled to yourself, and when he didn’t say anything, you figured he hadn’t heard you. you grabbed the fucking stuffed animal you’d gotten for your birthday and mounted the toy, feeling a little awkward doing this while aware that you were being watched.

you eased into your movements, starting off slow, partially because it was a little humiliating. you weren’t wearing much under the shirt, only your panties. in fact, you weren’t even wearing a bra.

“fuck,” came the voice on the phone. “just like that.”

what made the situation even more mortifying was that you didn’t hate how it felt, grinding against the faux fur of the poor large teddy bear. you could feel your arousal starting to damp your underwear, sticking to your skin. you wanted to be disgusted with yourself.

“tell me how it feels.”

“feels… feels good,” you replied through ragged breaths, against your better judgment.

“yeah?” he hummed. 

“mm-hm,” you whispered, forgetting that you were supposed to be scared. 

all of the heat washed over you, fogging your brain as your hips found a rhythm. you were blindsided by pleasure, grinding your sticky cunt against the toy. you threw your head back in a moan, grabbing onto the toy while you increased your pace. 

it was shameful what you were doing, entertaining some freak behind a mask. but it wasn’t like you had any other choice. he was going to hurt my friends, was what you’d reminded yourself when the smoke cleared and your thoughts became rational again.

“stop,” he commanded, much to your chagrin. 

“no,” you whimpered. “please.”

ghostface laughed mockingly, but only for a second, before repeating a little harsher this time, “stop.”

you halted your actions, hating the aching throbbing between your legs. it was driving you crazy. you felt so soaked, so wet.

“good girl,” he whispered. “bend yourself over the arm of the couch.”

you were too aroused to make some snappy comment, doing as told. you were guessing he wanted a nice view to get off to. the imagination could only do so much.

that was when you heard a sound, but you didn’t have much time to react when he came out of nowhere and pressed himself behind you, bringing his hand to your mouth to muffle your scream. you felt him tug at your underwear and reached behind your back to stop him, which ultimately ended with your arms folded behind your back and your panties slipped to the side as he forced his big, hard cock into your wet cunt.

“so absorbed in pleasure you didn’t even hear me come in,” he said, but you quickly noticed that he spoke without the modulator. and you didn’t have to turn your head to know who it was. 

you blurted, “ethan?”

“yeah, baby,” he moaned, slapping his hips against yours. “that’s what i want you to say when you cum all over my cock. shit, baby, you’re so wet.”

you shuddered when you felt his fingers coat themselves in your arousal, and you didn’t even realize that he brought his fingers to his mouth, tasting you. it drove him mad with lust, to an extent he didn’t even know he was capable.

you couldn’t even bring yourself to be upset right now at your friend’s actions, too tangled in ecstasy and the way it felt as his cock slipped in and out of you with a wet sound, fucking you stupid. to say nothing of how touch-starved you were.

“ethan,” you stammered out again. “harder.”

“you want me to fuck you harder?” ethan asked, chucking in amazement. you were everything he could’ve dreamed of, and beyond. 

you bobbed your head. “please, i need it.”

“well, if you need it,” he teased, a lilt to his tone. 

it knocked the wind out of you when he slapped his hips into you harder, made you feel dizzy with how perfectly he felt inside you, stuffing you full. it was a lot, but you knew that you could take it.

this moment was straight out of a fantasy. you were bent over, crying out ethan’s name and begging him for more, like you just couldn’t get enough of him. to be frank, he couldn’t get enough of you either. you scratched something in his brain, made him go crazy. not to mention how you were pulsing around his dick, so tight and way better than his hands.

“nobody else can have you like this,” ethan groaned, fisting your hair into a ponytail behind you. “right?”

“nobody,” you stuttered, barely able to speak. you were on the brink of climax. 

“fuck,” ethan moaned. “cum for me, baby. you know you want to.”

that was basically all it took to finish you, the petname rolling off of his tongue so deliciously. just as you were instructed, you moaned ethan’s name when you came, feeling wrecked as pure hell. 

ethan came too, pulling out and cumming on your back much to your surprise. he slid off you after a moment or two, leaving you to drop onto the couch, exhausted. 

just moments later, your phone buzzed, and you grabbed it under ethan’s watchful gaze. it was a text from chad. 

chad: hey it’s tara

chad: i stole chad’s phone lol he’s in the shower

chad: so something kinda crazy happened… i like totally lost my phone. but i wanted to check up on you and make sure you didn’t die lol

you glanced back at ethan, meeting his eyes for the first time since he’d been here, and watching his lips curl into a twisted grin. it was a wordless exchange.

[7ndipity]

“Not Just Friends"

Namjoon x Reader

Summary: You and Joon have been toeing the line between friends and something more for weeks, and you finally decide to make the first move.

Warnings: Swearing, Suggestive, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! I can't tell if I like this one or not, I'm too tired lol, but hopefully you will!(Also, I can't, for the life of me, come up with titles🤷)

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

“Okay, it’s the zombie apocalypse,” You started for the third time that afternoon, shifting to face him where he sat next to you on the bench. “All we have to eat are mint chocolate protein bars.”

“That sounds absolutely disgusting.” He said, scrunching his face up at you.

“It’s all we have left!” You retorted. “Would you eat them or not?”

“Nope.” He responded immediately, sipping his coffee.

“Seriously?! You would rather starve?!” You asked in disbelief.

“I would leave them for you, so you could survive.” He said, shrugging.

“That’s sweet, but also very stupid.” You commented.

“Well, I guess that’s just me.” He said, smirking at you.

“Ugh,” You cringed, making him chuckle. “Why do I even bother with you?”

“Because I buy you coffee?”

“Mmm, not sure if that’s good enough.” You replied dryly, reaching over in an attempt to flick the brim of his ballcap, but he leaned out of your reach, making you nearly wobble off balance before shifting back to your original position.

It felt nice to hang out with him like this again, ending the day just sitting together in the park as the first leaves of autumn skittered by on the breeze. Things had been slightly off between you the past couple weeks, following a slightly drunken evening out together with some other friends had resulted in you both sharing more than you maybe should have.

“So, I have a question.” He drawled, leaning slightly closer than was necessary for you to hear him. “What would you do, hypothetically, if I told you somebody was into you?”

“It depends,” You replied, giggling slightly at his focused gaze. “Is it you?”

“Maybe.” He said, raising a brow as he stared at you, feeling yourself suddenly sober up a bit as you realized he was being serious.

“Then I would say, hypothetically, that I like you too.” You answered, pulse picking up as you noticed his eyes flicker down to your lips, leaning in a little more.

The sound of a glass being dropped somewhere else across the room had shook you both out of your trance, reminding you that you weren't alone, scooting away quickly before anyone else noticed what had happened, or almost happened…

Neither of you had directly spoken about your conversation from that night, but there had definitely been a noticeable shift in your dynamic.

When you were out together, he would briefly catch hold of your hand as you wove through the crowded streets to keep you close. You always claimed the seat beside him, which had earned you a few curious glances from a couple of your other friends.

You weren’t exactly dating, but you definitely weren’t ‘just friends’ anymore. Due to the nature of your limbo state, however, there was also a slight sense of uneasiness, not quite knowing where the line lay between what was okay and what wasn’t anymore.

It had grown quiet as you’d gotten lost in your thoughts, contemplating whether or not to just bite the bullet and ask the dreaded ‘What is this?/What are we?’ question, but before you could decide, you felt a sudden droplet of water hit your hand, quickly followed by another on your cheek as you glanced up at the darkening sky.

“Aw, shit.” You grumbled, fumbling to pull your jacket hood over your head as it began to rain properly. “I thought it wasn’t supposed to start till later.”

“I told you.” He said, grinning as he sat back, not bothered in the least by the sudden weather change.

“You know, you’re one of the only people I know that actually likes getting caught in the rain.” You commented, watching him in amusement.

“Rain’s nice.” He said tilting his head back to let it fall on his face.

When he sat back up, something seemed to shift between you again as you made eye contact, feeling that familiar tense flutter in your stomach as his gaze flickered down to your lips.

Seized by a sudden surge of confidence, you leaned forward again, not breaking eye contact as you caught his shirt collar before pulling him down gently, connecting your lips.

For a split second, everything else seemed to fade out, the only thing you were aware of was the feel of Namjoon’s lips moving softly against yours.

Too soon, you pulled back, no more than an inch, feeling you and Joons’ breaths slip out in shaky exhales as his eyes slowly fluttered open to look at you.

“Do that again.” He whispered, hands coming up to hold your waist firmly, pulling you closer to him. “Please.”

At his plea, you immediately leaned in again. This time, the kiss was much more intense, teeth clashing and tongues moving against each other as your hands fumbled to find purchase on his shoulders, only breaking apart when your lungs started to burn from lack of oxygen.

“Fuck,” Namjoon sighed, leaning his forehead against your shoulder as he tried to catcht his breath. “I’ve wanted to do that for weeks.”

“Why didn’t you?” You asked.

“No idea.” He chuckled, pressing closer to you as a sudden breeze made you both shiver.

“It’s raining a lot.” You noted, taking in your dampening surroundings.

“Mhm.”

“We should probably head home.”

He groaned, pulling back reluctantly. “I don’t wanna let you go yet.” He said, pouting slightly.

“Who said you had to?” You asked.

He tilted his head at you questioningly.

“I said we should head home, I didn’t say it had to be alone.” You said, winding your hand into his.

“Oh, Okay.” He grinned.

[eatmeandbirthmeagain]

hello there! before i begin, allow me to express how much i love your work! i've only recently come across the KoH fandom, and your writing has kept me, say, well provided for with all the reader x king baldwin fics and headcanons HEHE. so yes, thank you for the work that you do. <3333 as for my request, it was inspired by a song (the dream academy's version of "please, please, please let me get what i want", with the original by the smiths). i was thinking that it's mainly from king baldwin's perspective, wherein he's already in acceptance of his fate due to his leprosy. so that consumes most of his thoughts, only driven by his responsibility as king to keep moving. but he's not actually living, if you catch my drift. like, he has this "if death takes me now, i'll let it" sort of mentality. but then he meets reader (i'll leave as to how they met and eventually got closer up to you ^^) and his entire world changes drastically. met with this sudden change (and the newfound will to live) which begins to conflict with his time quickly running up, he prays fervently one night, begging that he will be given a second chance, to be able to spend the rest of his life with reader (hence, the song ^^). i was thinking that this is primarily angst, but if fluff will be added to it, that would be a wonderful addition too ^^

i hope this was comprehensible enough. again, thank you so much! i'd love to see how you'll interpret this in your writing! i simply can't wait ><

♧ Please Let Me Get What I Want - King Baldwin x Reader ♧

♧ Angst ♧

A/N: Hello Sheedle!! Thank you so much for this beautiful request, along with your constant love and support. Your words really mean the world to me 🫶. I hope this is what you had in mind for the fic! As always, this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figures. Enjoy!

PS: THE IMAGE I USED FOR THIS FIC IS MF PERFECT CAN WE APPRICIATE THAT FOR A MINNUTE

TW: Leprosy

As the sun began to peak above the horizon line in the distance, the streets came alive, signifying a new day in Jerusalem.

The sunlight crept across the stone floor of the royal chambers until it reached the large, plush bed where the king of Jerusalem slept soundly. Baldwin’s eyes blinked open at the feeling of warmth on his face.

For just a moment, he was at peace. His body didn't hurt and he felt no pain. But this moment did not last long as the dull ache began to spread around his body once again.

Baldwin groaned and turned over onto his back as he came awake slowly. He stared blankly up at the ceiling. The same ceiling he had stared at so many times before.

Sleep was the only escape now. The only time he didn't feel weak or tired was when he lay in bed after a long day, finally getting some time to himself.

But in actual fact, he didn't want time to himself. What Baldwin wanted more than anything was a wife. But not just a wife, a companion.

He often thought about this and had come to the conclusion that it would never happen. No woman in the kingdom would agree to marry a leper. Certainly not any sane woman at least.

Someone who he could share his deepest, innermost thoughts with.

Someone who could show him love.

Someone who he could love in return.

As he lay in bed once again awaiting the arrival of the physicians to clean his wounds, Baldwin let this thought consume him once again.

He often pretended he had a wife. Not obviously though, just subtle little things that gave the illusion of a woman's comfort.

Baldwin turned his head to the pile of pillows that lay on the other side of his double bed and sighed. Every night, he would stack the decorative pillows that adorned his bed for aesthetic purposes beside him and lay on his side, just right so it felt like somebody was holding him.

If he closed his eyes and imagined hard enough, he could pretend to feel the warmth of another right next to him. 

At this point, Baldwin awaited death and when it came he would welcome it with open arms. It wasn't just the illness that plagued him, but terrible loneliness as well.

He felt as if the last few years of his life were nothing more than wasted potential and with so much time alone to think, he couldn't escape these thoughts. As the physicians filed into the room and began to work gently on his frail body, the thoughts remained.

It wasn't until Baldwin was informed about the arrival of princess y/n and her family that the horrible thoughts of death left his mind. His interest sparked at the mention of her name and the name of her father, who had gone down in history for winning many battles in his youth.

Their family would be staying at the castle as they searched for a husband for the young princess y/n. She was the same age as Baldwin and was known for her gentle kindness and beauty.

That was all he knew of her.

Deep down in his heart, the young king secretly wished that he would be the one to marry her. But he knew that was simply impossible.

Possible technically, yes. But would she want to? Absolutely not. In his mind at least. 

And when he layed eyes on her for the first time, it was clear he never had a chance. She wasn't just beautiful, she was a work of art. Truly stunning in every possible way.

Her hair, her eyes, her lips. She was perfect, she was gorgeous, and she was… staring right at him? With a small smile and rosy cheeks.

Her bright eyes twinkled in the sun when she looked his way, causing him to blush behind the mask. He simply couldn't tear his gaze away from her and it seemed that she couldn't do the same.

After dinner, Baldwin was just leaving the physicians quarters to retire to his chambers for the night when he was startled by y/n standing right behind a corner.

Noticing him jump, y/n chuckled. “I'm so sorry your majesty, it's only me” she said, her voice soothing as she placed a delicate hand on his arm.

The touch made Baldwin’s heart race even faster than it already was.

“Oh it-it's quite alright princess. I'm just a little on edge is all. Long day” he tried desperately to steady his heart, especially when she blinked slowly and looked into his eyes with what appeared to be adoration. But it couldn't be, right?

The two got to talking as Baldwin offered to escort her to her chambers for the night which she gladly took him up on the offer.

They spoke of her marriage and how she hoped to finally find a husband as she had been so lonely. In turn, Baldwin spoke of his own misfortune in finding a partner.

“I don't know why no one has asked to marry you princess. You're wonderful” Baldwin told her as they reached her door. Y/n chuckled, blush spreading across her cheeks.

“You're too kind my lord. I could say the same about you, you know. I mean, look at you! You're a beautiful young man” she said, her voice gentle and kind.

Baldwin felt surreal.

Nobody had ever said something like that to him before. Not since the disease had ravished his body at least.

Sensing his bashfulness, y/n smiled and placed a hand on his masked cheek.

“You need not be so hard on yourself Baldwin. From what I have heard, you are a strong leader and a brave one too. My father holds much respect for you and I do too. But after this interaction, I hold much more than respect for you and I hope we can speak more tomorrow” the princess said with a smile.

Baldwin took her hand in his, holding it to his chest.

“I would love that more than you will ever know, princess”.

The two said their goodnights and retired to their chambers, each with a warm feeling of anticipation for what the next day would bring.

But the young king couldn't sleep. His mind was flooded with different scenarios.

Maybe she did want to marry him? But if she did, their marriage would be short and surely childless. Wouldn't that put her off being wed to him if she were to spend half of her life as a widow?

That night Baldwin prayed and prayed to God on his knees for a second chance. For a second chance at life, to be wed to y/n, to live a normal life with her.

He begged until he couldn't think anymore. Staggering over to his bed, Baldwin fell into a deep sleep. Morning came in no time.

--------------------

The following morning, Baldwin awoke as usual. But something was different.

He felt happy, he felt excited and looked forward to the day ahead.

He got out of his bed on his own and dressed himself before the physicians arrived, who were shocked to see him so mobile without immense pain so early in the day.

Y/n was much the same.

Since first laying eyes on the young king, her heart belonged to him. Before seeing Baldwin for the first time, the idea of marriage disgusted her. She didn't want to end up like her friends, forced into a relationship with a man far older than her who controlled her every move.

But after seeing and speaking to him, the idea of marriage seemed amazing. He was so kind and sweet but he seemed so sad.

She wanted more than anything to be the one who would make him happy. She knew of his leprosy as many did but that didn't bother her in the slightest. All she saw was a kind and gentle soul in need of love.

When y/n arrived at Baldwin’s chambers, he was overjoyed to see her. They spent the entire day together, talking and laughing, walking around the courtyard and playing chess. 

By evening, neither wanted the day to end. Neither wanted to leave each other's side at all for that matter.

But one good thing happened that evening and that was Baldwin requesting her hand in marriage (with the blessing of her father of course). Y/n grinned with delight and accepted without hesitation.

As the two spoke together on the couch in Baldwin’s chambers, the sun sank below the horizon leaving the kingdom in peaceful darkness.

Baldwin had removed his mask, revealing his bandaged face to her.

Much to his delight, y/n did nothing but compliment him and stare lovingly into his eyes for the whole evening.

As time went on, the young king felt himself growing more and more tired. His eyes struggled to remain open, but he didn't want his soon to be wife to leave.

He wanted her by his side, forever.

Y/n noticed this and smiled at the sleepy expression he wore while she spoke.

“You should get some rest, your highness” she said softly, placing a hand on his thigh.

“But I don't want you to leave,” he replied, his voice suddenly small. Her heart broke for him. So many years feeling alone and unlovable.

Y/n thought for a moment, “I have an idea!” she spoke after a second.

Baldwin looked up at her with curiosity.

“Why don't you get into bed and I will hold you until you fall asleep, then I will leave. Then we have no risk of being accused of adultery!”

A large grin spread across Baldwin's face, it was the cutest thing she had ever seen. “That would be perfect!” he exclaimed.

Baldwin got changed and climbed into bed, laying down on his usual side of the bed. But this time, he tossed the decorative pillows to the floor.

Y/n climbed into the bed beside him, “just get comfortable and I will hold you” she told him, her voice filled with love.

Baldwin nodded and turned on his side away from her, snuggling into the covers with a smile. Y/n waited a moment, then wrapped her arms around him from behind, pulling him closer so his back was pressed against her chest and her head was resting slightly above his, his blonde curls tickled her nose making her giggle with happiness.

“This is everything I have ever wanted,” the young king whispered, his voice gentle and sleepy.

“Likewise, my love. Just rest now, I will just be in my chambers when you wake” y/n replied, pressing a kiss to the back of his head.

Baldwin nodded and yawned, burying himself further into her arms. The young king was fast asleep in no time, lulled into rest by her warmth.

The single sound of a soft snore broke the silence. The quiet sound of rest told the princess that it was time to leave. As much as she didnt want to, she had to.

Unwrapping her arms carefully so as to not wake him, y/n stood and went to leave. But she couldn't, not yet.

Walking over to Baldwin’s side of the bed, she smiled down at his sleeping form.

Y/n bent down and kissed his forehead lightly.

“I can't wait until every night can be like this my darling. Rest well” she whispered before turning to leave.

Retreating into the night with anticipation for what the next day would bring.

[fallinglikemagic]

Okay, now that everybody's had some time to process and gotten some of the doomposting out, here's my thoughts on the whole situation.

First of all, I'm not really worried about whether or not RWBY will continue in some capacity. It's uncertain, sure, but no more than it was already. In February we got the update that they were talking to potential partners about getting volume 10 made, so clearly they weren't just relying on Rooster Teeth and Warner Brothers for it - maybe one of those companies will pick it up, maybe a different company will, either way I'm sure it *will* be picked up by somebody and unless they get real unlucky, the show won't be much worse off than it was before - if anything it might be better off, considering that WB have been shitty about animation for quite a while now (if you're not already familiar and you're up for some extra research, I recommend looking into the Coyote vs ACME situation that's been going on recently for a great example of WB's bullshit). And while it's unclear exactly how much involvement the original crew will have in the show's future, I'm pretty optimistic about it. I doubt the writers are going to let go of creative control without a fight, if for nothing else then for Monty - I don't like focusing too much on the whole Monty's Legacy stuff in general, but I do think that the crew are going to want to keep their friend's work alive and authentic and as accurate to what he wanted it to be as possible. None of this is a certainty of course, but I think RWBY is gonna be fine, things will just be kinda rocky for a bit.

With all that being said, while this may end up ultimately being a blessing in disguise for RWBY as a franchise, it sure ain't one for everybody who worked at Rooster Teeth. This entire situation is still horrible - so many people being fired on the spot, effective immediately, with no warning and with several of them only finding out by seeing articles about it being posted on Twitter, it's fucked. I know Rooster Teeth wasn't exactly lacking in controversy and problematic behaviour, to put it lightly, but there were still plenty of amazing people there who are now in a really shitty situation. On top of that, while again this isn't exactly anything new, especially for WB, it is the latest instance of a huge problem in the animation and entertainment industries. So no matter how things pan out for RWBY, we should still be really fucking mad about this.

And we definitely shouldn't be celebrating. I've seen some posts saying "good riddance" and celebrating RT's downfall, not just from people who hate RWBY (I mean don't get me wrong I'm sure the hatedom is out in full force but that's not the kind of thing I'm referring to right now), but people who like/used to like the show and just hated the company. And don't get me wrong, I didn't like a lot of things about the company either, I've actually been wanting RWBY to separate itself from RT for a pretty long time (be careful what you wish for I guess 💀), but there's a time and a place and this certainly ain't it. Plenty of people who have worked there have said that they loved their jobs, plenty of others said it was horrible and toxic and nightmarish, but either way a job is a job and in this industry work isn't always easy to find, especially in recent years. Celebrate in private if you want, but now is not the damn time to be bringing out the cake and confetti.

TLDR; I'm cautiously optimistic about RWBY's future, I'm pretty sure it'll be fine and they'll be able to keep the core crew to at least some extent, but this is still a really bad situation for everybody who just lost their jobs, don't be a dick.

[vigilskeep]

wait, Minerva "canonically" has a baby?? i want to know everything!! when how what - how does motherhood change her, pls elaborate, srry if you talked about this before, i just love them so much

she does!! i talk abt this less bc i think its self-indulgent jghsskks and that people are less interested in this, but it’s super fun to think about for me

the baby was a surprise, minerva was kind of being stupid about it lmao because she was being less careful than she might have been in the circle, especially because she’s a warden now so she’s less likely to get pregnant at all, without really thinking through what might happen. (i’m sure our local kinloch hold spirit healer companions both had their field days telling her off for this at some point.) but as soon as it does happen she wants the baby so badly. as a circle mage and then a warden she had never really seriously considered it a possibility for herself, but she loves children, and it’s been so long since she had a real family

it’s zevran’s and zevran is in antiva most of the time. i think she has a weird crisis about whether he’ll want anything to do with a baby, and she would despise for him to come back just out of obligation but also what if he doesn’t come back, and she ends up procrastinating telling him for, like, months. just a stupid amount of time. bc she was born to stress her man out and to give her wardens unnecessary grudges against him because they thought he had obviously chosen not to be here because obviously she would have told him. truly when will his suffering end. anyway he’s thrilled when somebody eventually does him the courtesy of letting him know

the baby’s a boy, she names him duncan, it sparks a whole other argument with alistair that we won’t get into here. he gets nicknamed junior a lot, partly bc he’s duncan jr, partly bc of the ongoing joke that he’s the resident Junior Warden. he was very much raised in warden blue since the cradle. because minerva is so busy and zevran is often away, he’s pretty much collectively raised in vigil’s keep by the awakening squad and whoever else gets added to that trusted inner circle. which works out bc wardens don’t often have kids of their own so they all just kind of... share this one lmao. (and possibly sometimes also oghren and felsi’s kid if they stick around?) it’s velanna who instigates this bc that’s what the dalish do and she’s also literally the only one here who knows what to do with a baby so thank the maker she’s here (minerva’s practised with kids but by nature they don’t have babies in the circle)

i’m so thrilled that spellblade is a crow-themed rogue-like mage subclass bc that’s exactly what i always pictured for duncan jr eventually. he’s a mage, his magic manifests very young, but minerva is very strict abt his studies and it has the unfortunate reverse effect of making getting his dad or nathaniel or sigrun to teach him combat much more fun. it works out really bc his magic having manifested is a tightly kept secret so it’s good for him not to have to rely on it

being a mother kind of changes/crystallises a lot of minerva’s priorities. it’s one thing to say, like, i would like to improve the situation for my fellow mages at some point, or, it sure would be nice to live past a warden’s usual limits. it’s another thing entirely to have a mage child and need to make a world that’s safe for him and live long enough to see it done. it ends up being a key issue of her conflict with the chantry between origins and inquisition because nobody’s quite certain what the rules are. obviously if she were still a circle mage any child of hers would be taken away. but she’s not a circle mage and arguably the chantry has no right to a child born outside of the circle, with no sign yet (as far as anyone outside vigil’s keep knows) of magic. (like i say it manifested younger than normal so this is believable even to those who think he will eventually show.) it definitely exacerbates tensions, shall we say, because obviously they can pry him out of her cold dead hands

he’s probably still only quite young in inquisition. six or seven? somewhere around there, i hate timelines. not sure where he is while minerva and her squad are on their quest, but given the very short list of people she trusts that much, i have to say that the most insane answer is likely: he’s in denerim as a temporary ward of the king. probably the first elven kid to be such

[knightyoomyoui]

Momo x M Reader - "Crazy Stupid Love"

So this is one of my requests and probably the LONGEST one I had to grant because I just realized today that one of my readers made this request since November 2022, so I just want to say my huge apologies to you Dumbledore_1 for taking me too long to finally make this piece. This one-shot is a sequel to my Set 4 Momo x M Reader work titled "Somebody That I Used To Know" so if yall haven't read that one, better do so because you might not understand a little on what this story is about to tell and to give you guys a background from what happened to Momo and the reader's past, although I tackled the main point of this story clearly though. Lastly, I labeled this as only for male reader to feature because the first one also features only male reader, so it might be a weird for the female ones to read this. However, it's still up for my female readers there if you want to imagine yourself as a guy or for others to take place rather for this to aid your curiosities. Here's my Ko-fi account where you can drop your donations or ask for a commission. You can check it out on my Tumblr profile too!  Buy knightyoomyoui a Coffee. ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui - Ko-fi ���️ Where creators get support from fans through donations, memberships, shop sales and more! The original 'Buy Me a Coffee' Page. Enjoy reading and have a happy Christmas season, everyone!

YN was shaken as the barrage of stomps and steps coming from the other passengers effectively woke him up. The bus had stopped moving, and he peeked from the window with squinted eyes. There he saw a very familiar view.

A smile crept up on his face, and he followed through the remaining people exiting the vehicle. Stepping out, he grabbed his bag and luggage before the bus left them there at the stop point.

YN started to walk while wandering his eyes around at the surroundings. It never changed, he thought. This is still one of the places where he could get use some time off away from every troubles he's having from the city.

And that being said, YN came here for one specific purpose. He wanted to stay in his province of Daegu for quite some time to help himself allow to recover from his heartbreak and improve his well-being for the better.

He has been disturbed day and night by what Momo revealed to him since their last talk, which was one month ago. It led him to the point where he needed to be delving deeply into reflection about the painful revelation she had brought to light. The next important person in his life to whom he has been closest, Dahyun, became aware of her cousin YN's odd conduct. She made one quick suggestion that she knew would assist her cousin, who is in a mess, knowing that he had recently ended a difficult and unpleasant relationship with Momo. She is a little upset at what her cousin did to her friend, but she still needs to show compassion and kindness for him because he is a loved one. She had always despised those who were internally disturbed by shattered hearts. She is thus making every effort to support Momo and YN during these challenging times. Aside from the fact that he genuinely misses their province, YN paid attention to what Dahyun advised her to do. He packed his belongings and traveled for hours to go to Daegu. His grandfather and other Dahyun's side relatives welcomed him when he got there. They greeted him with open arms upon his return, which undoubtedly helped YN feel at home. Then, after spending months there, he bought a house for himself, which his family allowed him to live in alone. During the months he had to stay apart from everything, he had the opportunity to experience living alone in the heart of such a vibrant and serene environment. even though at first he found it tough because he knew that being left alone is one of his worst fears.

Even so, he still tried to endure all the pain as he knew that he needed this for the sake of taking a rest for himself after what he'd gone through. There's been a saying that you will never heal from the pain if you never consider to give yourself a break.

Those created the thoughts that were unable for him to dodge all the memories that ties him back to his ex-girlfriend Momo. Because of her, it finally had him to slowly reprocess and understood everything wrong that thay had gone through in their relationship.

He had it discover pieces by pieces and he got some help coming from one of his interactions with some of the locals around his place, as he turned himself to be a volunteer to their town as a way to give himself things to distract him and make his time more valuable and less boring.

He walked back and got one for himself to begin eating with the locals, joining the elders, after serving some food to some of the kids seated at the table.

A notification beeped into his phone, causing it to open. He saw it for a second and turned it off, right before one of the elders asked him something.

"Who is that girl?"

He paused on directing his spoonful of food on his mouth as he heard the elder's question. He looked at him who has this curious look presented on him.

You opened the phone again and showed the rest your wallpaper that got seen, your own picture of Momo on the screen.

"Was that your partner?" His grandpa asked, tempting him to a frown on his lips.

He hesitated to answer for a while as he stared at Momo through the phone. Gulping his throat, he cleared his voice before speaking out his answer.

"She was mine."

All of them became quiet and his grandpa felt the sullen mood of his grandson. "Son, the world hasn't been very kind to both of you, hasn't it?"

He shook his head, denying the assumption. "I'm starting to think that it's not like that. It was only her, and i'm her world who didn't treated her well."

One of ahjumma (female elder) furrowed her eyebrows at his claim. "Did you do something wrong on her?"

"I did, ahjumma." He nodded his head, tightlipped at how guilty he was. "I broke her heart. I didn't mean to but I had to. I haven't got to explain it further."

"Was it that huge of an effect on her?" the first harabeoji (male elder) who asked him about Momo took the turn. He sipped on the soup and kept your head lowered.

"She erased my existence on her life, like she never met me." He smiled bitterly. His heart starts to get heavy, emotions were slowly rising up in his chest. "I guess she brought back the favor because I tried to get rid of her, to push her aside, to make her feel unwanted."

He received a slap on the shoulder by his own grandpa, earning a yelp of pain from him. "And how could you do that?! That's a wonderful girl you just had and you wasted it."

"Believe me, YN you've done a terrible mistake of inflicting heartbreak on that poor woman. Take me and your grandma as example. Even if we had many faults and fights in our relationship until she passed away, I never forgot her and I know so as she wherever she is right now.

And how did we do that? By making up to each other. Acknowledge what wrongful acts you have done. And I'm telling you, son; if you really loved that woman you won't let her be like that to you. Be sorry for everything that you did, understand?"

He nodded at his mixture of scolding and advice. "B-but, I'm afraid I might lure her away."

"She may not forget, but she may forgive you if you convincingly say everything from your heart."

The elders gasped and awwed when they saw a teardrop flowed out from his eye, he was so invested at the rant spoke by his grandpa that he didn't even noticed that his guilt urged his emotions to break loose.

"What's her name, son?"

"Hirai Momo." He noticed the slight amazement in his face. "She's Japanese."

"She's pretty, you got a foreign lover who surely looked up at you all the time not until you showed her the opposite." He expressed his dismay. "But I still feel sorry for you, son. Like what you said earlier, it seems like you got lost on the consequences of the stakes that was put upon you on your relationship with her."

"Do you still love her?"

He kept everything of his grandfather's advice in mind during the days that went by, including the last question that was posed to him and for which he is still unsure of the answer. He decided to give it some time for clarity even if there were some residual sentiments. He asked his cousin Dahyun, who is getting ready for their group schedule, a startling question during one of their video chats, even though Dahyun knew she would have it coming.

"Uhm... Dubu, is she there?"

"Who?"

"Momo."

"Yeah, but she went with Nayeon unnie on the cafeteria, why?"

"H- How is she doing, Dahyun-ah?" He questioned with a sorrowful tone.

Dahyun paused for a moment and just watched her cousin's misery displayed on the screen. She knew that until now he haven't gotten over her, but she didn't expected that he would spoke it out and make it known.

She knew YN to be very secretive of how he actually feels that's why she thought he would just rather do it through action, like what he did to Momo when he was loving her smoothly until the confusions took part.

But Dahyun isn't satisfied yet for that. She know that the two still haven't been getting along fine together and she hoped it'll come someday, and she believes that the only thing needed for that to happen is for her cousin to bravely show up and tell it all by himself to the woman he hurted the most.

"She's doing well, oppa. She's still laughing along with us... well we're trying to make her happy these days."

You nodded, relieved that Momo isn't suffering as much as you do today.

"But I don't know if it just because of us, because uhm... actually oppa- should I say it first to you?"

Dahyun's cautiousness grew an alarming tenseful feeling on him that is making him uncomfortable.

"Go ahead, i'll be fine." He said. Dahyun hoped the same. "Okay. Don't tell me you didn't let me be." Dahyun warned him one more time. "There's a guy who's courting Momo-unnie currently and based from how unnie is receiving his efforts, I think it's winning."

He heard enough and he became silent for a while. He knew it would be painful but he just let it sink in. He's the one who caused all of this to happen. It was all just a pure karma in return for him.

"Is that so?" He reacted bland. "That's great. I-I'm happy for the both of them in case... yeah." He smiled forcefully.

Dahyun clicked her tongue and sighed. "Oppa, you're hurting."

"As I should be."

The next days, his phase was on recollecting their memories together, in which he reminisce whenever he encounters something that Momo used to love before; he used to be in that place to witness it with his very own eyes.

Everywhere he goes, there's always one reason for him to remember her.

The kids he always entertain and taking care of. Momo loved children.

"Someday, if we will be lucky enough to get married. I want us to build a family with two kids! I hope we can have both a son and a daughter..."

The pig feet which was one of their foods for dinner. That is Momo's absolute favorite food she would be willing to die for.

"You should cook more jokbal, YN! This is so delicious!"

Their pictures together on his gallery that is almost full of her beautiful face. He opened one of the videos there which contains one of the clips they recorded during their anniversary.

He smiled as Momo kissed him on the lips and nuzzled her head on her neck. The next thing was soft and low, but her voice was always catchy for him to be able to hear it clearly.

This has to be the most anticipating turned devastating words you will ever remember from what she said.

Not only because this was like an oath for the goal to the next path he wanted to reach with her, but also because this will now end up instead in his  imagination to haunt him with his guilt and definitely hers to occur with her desires.

"To more anniversaries and hopefully, a wedding in the future with you, YN. I love you."

Lastly are the peaches in the farm where he helps some of the farmers there to harvest and the dogs from the neighborhood who randomly visits his house were the ones to sum up everything that ties him back to her.

And in his last days in the Daegu province, he has finally see and understand everything clearly.

Before he rode the bus, he looked back at his grandpa who guided him to the bus stop.

"Remember the question you asked me about, grandpa. If I still do... love her?"

"Have you found the answer?"

"I do." He smiled. "And I promise you that I will try to make her hear my apology to her once I return to Seoul."

"Great for you, then. I wish you good luck, son."

They hugged together before they parted ways, with YN focused on his way back to the destination where his objective lies ahead.

A month after his departure from the province, he is back at Seoul where he is now currently looking for a place to work with these days.

Dahyun notified him one day that they'll be celebrating Jihyo's successful solo debut and she wants to bring him there because the girls misses him.

Hesitant at first that he knew that out of nine of them, Momo is the only one who doesn't want to see her, but he instead accepted for the sake of seeing his friends and to celebrate her special day when Dahyun assured him that Momo isn't like that to him anymore.

YN and Dahyun arrived at the restaurant together. The girls saw them from the table and they all cheered, except for Momo who is sitting there in silent and avoiding his sight. He noticed it and felt a bit unease as he entertains the rest.

And there, the two ex-couple finally saw each other again after quite a long time. Awkward at first, they still managed to greet each other when YN tried to test his courage for his plan tonight. Thankfully, Momo greeted him back shyly.

They ordered, congratulated Jihyo again for her success, talked a lot about how they've been doing, and ate their respective delicious foods to savor the precious time they're having together as a group.

As they went to enjoy the night by doing some videoke and chugging beers, YN noticed that Momo went outside to freshen up.

"Dahyun." He called the woman sitting beside her, munching some pizza. "It's time. I'll be right back." He said as they gazed at Momo's back facing them through her stance at the railings of the balcony.

"Be careful, okay? Make it sentimental and don't force if she can't have it all too well."

"Got it."

Dahyun patted him on the back before he stood up and carefully opened the sliding doors. He silently stepped towards Momo's figure, breathing becoming heavy, heartbeat rising rapidly.

He let out one last sigh before he began to confront the woman he wanted to meet and talk after months of waiting, recovering, and changing.

"Momo?"

She heard that familiar voice, she remembered what she told him almost a year ago, prompting her to try not to slip off on her character.

"Now you're just somebody that I used to know, YN."

Turning her body around, she finally has come to face to face with the man she tries to completely forget in her heart and mind.

"Yes?" She responded. It was cold and plain, and YN understand what he's putting himself into. He just had to let it go and proceed with his main intention for her.

"I know you don't want having me near you, but c-can I please just... please have a short moment with you?" He said. "It won't last long, I promise but if you don't want me... then, it's fine but I really wanted to say something very quick to you."

Momo was startled when YN called for him. From the way he acted, Momo is quite intrigued that this version of YN infront of her is now more cautious, kind and soft to her. This is almost like... a different person from the one he used to know-and endure- before.

Momo would be deceiving herself and she knows how awful it is to feel regretful to herself if she lets that, if she doesn't admit to herself that it actually made her convince and push her wants to atleast see or know something of himself in personal.

"Don't waste any more time. Go on." She granted him his request. Crossing her arms, she leaned on the railings and watched this poor, broken, and lonely man she used to hate seeing being like this.

"T-Thank you." He bowed a little and straightened his posture, breathing deeply before he proceed to let out everything he's been keeping to his chest. "I know I shouldn't be in here because I know you're still mad at me. I almost didn't attend but for the girls-"

"For the record, I'm not mad at you anymore." Momo seriously said. "I set it all aside, because like I said... I don't want nothing to do with you. You're a nobody to me now, but I'm just letting you for once as long as you prove what brought youself here with me and dare to come close with me after how we ended things together."

"I know about that, and that's why I'm just here to say one thing that I've never ever said to you.

I'm sorry."

Momo's eyes shut, biting her lip with her fist clenching after hearing that. "I'm sorry for everything. All I did was very wrong of me and I don't want you to force you to believe me but... I didn't intended to do that on you.

"I did love you from the first time I laid my eyes on you, to the time you gave back the same feelings as mine for you, and the beginning of our relationship together. I know I have been gotten cold to you as time passes but I want to clarify things that... it wasn't your fault at all, Momo. It was me."

Momo glared at him with a teary eyes. She hated it, but she had to recall all of the times she had to wonder every night why does this keep on happening and what did she do wrong that made him treat him with lack of affection. She wanted answers for a long time and gladly, the time has come for her to hear it straight away from the man responsible of putting her like that.

"I always wanted to be like you, on what you're doing for me and it's true. But I always look at myself lowly, thinking if what I'm doing rather wasn't enough for you." His voice began to crack, as his eyes became to get watery also from the immense emotions affecting him. "And instead of improving or sharing my worries to you, I chose rather to set you free from me. I did that, thinking it was for mercy but instead it looked like I wanted you to suffer more and it was so... so wrong for me to do so. I became so lost for that."

"I still love you up to this day, Momo."  With that, both synchronizably cried from that words that they used to say to each other as a vow but now, it turns out to be a forbidden phrase for them to exchange anymore.  "It's not that I didn't trust you it's just that... I was scared."

"My plead for you not to leave was true, I truly can't bear letting you go. But now, I think I believe that probably I deserve to be alone and unworthy of somebody's love to hold onto because what I did, I am willing to sacrifice my feelings for you, Momo."

"It hurts me so bad but I have to let you go now." He escaped a rough exhale before continuing. "I'm not going to plead for you to come back and ruin the happiness your getting with somebody else now. Again, I'm truly sorry again for rushing in our relationship, acting immature on times you needed my comfort and making you bring all the burden you never deserved to have to."

YN began to drop on his knees and positioned himself to kneel in front of Momo who was shocked at his action.

"YN! W-what are you doing, get up from there!" She dashed through him and lifted his body and in YN's disbelief, he made Momo envelope him into a longing and comforting embrace that belongs to one of the lovely things he wasted from an gracious woman like her.

They both sobbed in their own heartache and sympathized with their own struggles.

"I hate you for what you did to me YN but why!" Momo cried out. "Why did you kept it to yourself, huh?! Why did you let yourself struggling on your own?"

"You promised me that you'll try to be honest, but you didn't, and that made me think that being done with your fake love, I rather be going. You could've shared it all to me directly, I'm your girlfriend for god's sake, I could've helped you because I loved you!"

"I'm sorry.. I'm s-so sorry..."

Momo whined and screamed in a mixture of frustration, agony and disappointment for what their relationship had become and the complete clear revelations of how she got ended up suffocating and unpleased in his company.

"Get up." She helped him stand back to his wobbling weak legs again. "Finally you were now able to reflect yourself and tell to me that one words I just wanted to hear from you. I just wanted you to be accountable and say sorry to me.", Momo said, clarifying the last words she told to him back then.

"But now that you did and I've heard and seen enough your sincerity..." She grasped him in the shoulders and stared at him with a broken smile. "I forgive you, YN."

He nodded and cried again, finally getting the remorse and acceptance that he's been yearning and searching for months after realizing what he's done. "Thank you. I'm sorry again, Momo."

"That'll be your last, it's fine now." Momo warned him as he fixed his messy hair and wiped away his tears.

"I just have one more question to ask."

"What is it?"

"Have I... been a nice girlfriend to you?"

He stared at Momo's awaiting, curious and softened face. A teardrop flowed for one final time, to drain out every bit of pain he consumed.

He grabbed the back of her neck and gently pulled her close to land a tender kiss on her forehead. "You did more than enough for me, Momo. You're a great woman that I wasted the unconditional love you've been giving by being ungrateful and selfish, and I will forever bring that regret with me."

Momo timidly smiled for him and stepped away from his contact. Wanting to end this emotional moment between each other to avoid ruining the fun night, she came up something to talk with. "I know you have quite shared this with the girls earlier but I just wanted to know myself, how have you been doing these days?"

"I'm good, I'm still on my road to improve myself. I couldn't stand to let others see and continue to be the same guy that you used to encounter." He finally flashed the first bright smile for Momo away from their problems. Momo was proud and touched for his efforts and dedication that she implemented on him. "And you?"

"I'm happy. Even happier now that we've settled things peacefully."

"I've heard from Dahyun that there's this guy who's been seeing you these days, huh. How is he doing for you?"

Momo was taken back that he had to learn about that and mention it. "H-He's fine, but I want to make it clear to him that I don't want to be in a relationship yet." she shyly said.

"How about you? Will you be okay? Are you... gonna look for somebody to have an interest with?" Momo wondered.

"No, I don't think I will." He stated. "I'm not scared, I just want to be careful. I think it's better for me not to engage in this romance thing anymore, you know? I have learnt from my mistakes now." She understood and didn't spoke any further despite still having this pint of pity for the fallen man.

"And... why should I look for other, when you're still the one I choose?"

Momo stared at him, she blushed  and uncontrollably smiled in an embarassed way after hearing that glimpse of the charming YN that never disappeared from him.

She spreaded her arms wholesomely and looked at her with a smile.

"I know I've said that I wanted to disregard your existence but... I didn't want to be cruel now that I've heard your side and I'm sorry for that because I have to admit...

Although you broke my heart, I still couldn't deny the truth that you're one of the most important person I've met and the first man who helped me explore how love could led us into elsewhere.

You still made me happy, YN. I can't just have it easy to throw you out of my life so... should we be friends again?"

He listened to her patiently and it was overwhelming in the end. "I don't deserve this at all, but I'm highly grateful to take it, Momo. Let's start fresh again." He shook his head and smiled.

You accepted her hug one more time and both took time to indulge how great it must felt've again to their part that they don't have to try pretend, carry a hatred, and keep their unspoken troubles for theirselves.

They are now freed from their own personal chaos and has now created a clean slate of their closeness and connection to each other.

They returned back together where they are approached by the girls who've been watching their melancholic yet heartfelt moment they shared in which they paused their fun to express their happiness for their friends on burying the hatchet between each other.

Both learning that they are currently happy with their own lives and has finally washed away their conflict, they realized that somehow helped each other to realize that maybe having a crazy stupid love with somebody was never really required to be happy and contented in life.

[hbpseverus]

For the past day somebody has been in my TikTok comments arguing about Snapes Worst Memory and the definition of SA (mind you, under a post that was entirely unrelated to the topic!) and their replies are just... insane? I'm going to block this person and I would hope they are simply quite young and very biased towards their favorite character (being James), but I thought I'd share some of my... highlights here. For amusement but also for further discussion since TikTok replies are too restrictive for proper analysis. Obvious trigger warning for discussion of SA ahead.

- Let's start with this topic of pantsing. I do not think this term is appropriate for what happens in SWM because that scene goes beyond the usual understanding of what 'pantsing' is. Severus was simultaneously being choked and magically restrained upside down in the air in a position where he could not defend himself or simply pull down his trousers/robes again. Imagine a boy and his friends restraining a girl in the schoolyard, exposing her underwear for everyone to see and collectively laughing at her. Or a stranger pulling down a womans skirt on the train, for example. Surely both of these cases would be considered SA, right? These women could undoubtedly go to the police with this. So why is it different when it happens to Severus? To me it feels like it boils down to the 'boys will be boys' mindset. When a boy does this to a girl we all agree that it's SA, but when a boy does the same thing to a fellow boy it is 'not that deep' and just a prank. And this exact mindset is a serious issue, with male victims not being taken seriously, especially by fellow men.

- Well... this last reply I thought was absolutely insane so I'll let it speak for itself lol. Fact is, whatever James' intention, the act of exposing someones underwear and especially genitals against their will is always inherently sexual. For obvious reasons, this can not be compared to a parent changing their childs diaper.

- They then dropped this definition at some point. What bothers me the most about this is especially the second part. The intent of SA, even rape, is never truly simple sexual arousal or gratification. It is first and foremost about abusing power. James saw Severus as a love rival when it came to Lily. He did not threaten to undress Severus to gain sexual satisfaction, but to humiliate him and therefore gain power over him. That does not mean it was not SA. The attackers intention matters little to the victim. There are of course also so many forms of sexual assault that do not include physical touch, it can even happen online.

- Finally they tried to argue that James did not threaten to remove Severus' underwear at all, stating that 'pants' refers to trousers, not underwear. Now I am not a native english speaker, but it should be obvious to any literate person who reads the chapter that this cannot be the case. It is described that, as Severus is lifted upside down into the air, his robes fall over his head, immediately revealing his bare legs and underwear with no mention of trousers, followed by other characters explicitly seeing and mocking his underwear. He clearly was not wearing any trousers under his robes. I also argued that it was translated into 'underwear', not 'trousers', which they did not want to hear because JKR did not translate it herself. The movies can not be used as an accurate source here. The source material are the books. The movie was not written by JKR either. The movie scene as a whole was changed drastically. The movie could also most likely not display the full original scene as it's target audience were children and it would be considered too graphic. They then used quotes about other characters wearing trousers as 'proof' that Severus also had to have worn trousers under his robes. Do with that what you want. What I will say is that this conversation often shifts towards victim blaming, i.e. 'it is Snapes fault for not wearing trousers under his robes!'. I don't need to explain how dangerous and morally horrible this is.

Well. Honestly being a Snape stan can be exhauating sometimes. I'm honestly getting real tired of having this conversation so often, but as long as I wake up to my comments blowing up with people arguing about the fucking definition of SA I will keep talking about it because this clearly goes beyond simple arguments over fictional characters.

[threepandas]

The Vod's List: Yandere Clones

The Galaxy changes, thanks to spit.

It's not even the first time it's happened, in my peoples history. But it's... kinda weird it happend? Twice? The FIRST time we actually PLANNED for it to happen. It was biological warfare. But this? This was just an accident. One that could have KILLED somebody.

Cause, see, the Techganic people? Are... well to put it lightly, we are the result of centuries of an ideological and spiritual holy war, that nearly tore our plant apart. The two sides don't really "talk" to each other any more. Or... you know... ACKNOWLEDGE the other.

They are waiting for the other to "inevitably die off, due to their own hubris".

Yeeeeeah. Fun times. You can see why I wanted OFF that dirtball.

At least on other planets? The politics aren't PERSONAL... is what I naively thought. Forgot about empathy! You know, like an idiot! Kark. Where was I? Right! Galaxy, changed, spit. Okay, sooo... here's the thing? My family was part of the bloody bone-sucking Holy Naturalist Empire. (Translated to Basic, the word "Naturalist" has more of a specific to the body? Meaning? Not so much "nature of the world" as "nature of the Self" you know? And in THIS case, the word they are using for "holy" in ancient means less strictly "divine" and more "pure like the divine"? It's Complicated.)

And the Progress Collective was ORIGINALLY this whole project, supposedly, that got WAY out of hand, became a cult, then a religion, and tore the planet apart? It was a technological hive mind that want to "perfect" the planet to a "higher state of being". And then extend its reachs to the stars.

We held the karking LINE. Died in legions. Refusing to give our bodies to be made machines. Droids and puppets. Refused to give our freedoms, our homes, our planet. Any of it. But it was at the cost of our original bodies. The only way to truely fight BACK? Was to become... poison.

The Jedi who eventually came, some how FEELING our distress, dispite the blockade the Collective created on the interplanetary transmitters? Our planet's holonet connection? Said that the creator of Our Salvation was guided by the Force. None of us could really argue. The Salvation treatment was madness. A machine so ahead of it's time, we STILL aren't sure how it works, just that it DOES.

We had a choice.

It was no choice at all.

And now? NOW? Kriffing CENTURIES later? I am STILL a biological weapon! Not do much to non-human adjacent races, but anyone human or human modified? Human descended? Kriff, even a few humanoids! If they're CLOSE enough!

I have to take neutralizers if I plan to be swapping any sort of bodily fluids with ANY race that isn't on the "verified Safe" list. For MONTHS. So it can build up in my system properly. And the side effects? Ugh. Stars and Bone, is it AWFUL! Like I GET why people do it. You love who you love. But the nausea! All those meds just to counter the side effects of other side effects!

It made me kinda glad to be single. Stars, poor cousin Tango.

Of course, I AM responsible. I always carry a FULL kit of emergency neutralizers with me. Just in case, Bones and Blood forbid it, the worst should occur. I have some for accidental blood mixing, some for plasma, a couple for bile, and the majority of the rest? Saliva. The most common accident reported. My kit even has an emergency medical guide on a lil piece of flimsy, on the inside lid!

...I feel like I'm getting distracted agai- OH! Right!!

I work in the senate building, now! Astral, right?! Center of the GALAXY! First step to making a DIFFERENCE! Granted, I am basicly the assistant nobody of no one... but STILL! It's a start! I'm ON Coruscant! That's more then most people can say! I go to work passing THE jedi temple each day! You can see them coming and going from your airspeeder!

Unfortunately? Rent is BRUTAL. I live in a glorified closet with barely a bunk and a sonic shower to my name. Not even a proper 'fresher! It's not like we're traveling. Or my species needs to avoid water! No, I literally just CAN'T AFFORD IT! And if you saw the prices? Droids be carting you off to the medcenter before you know it! Where do they GET their water? The outer rim?! Do they deliver it by HAND?!

.....I haven't had my Caf. Ignore me. I just miss feeling proper CLEAN. Sonic showers just... I know it's a psychological thing, but it doesn't FEEL as clean, you know? I am pouting. Pouty me. Unhappy.

Wait... what time is i- OH KARK!!!

See, on Coruscant there is no real "beating" the traffic. But there ARE certain steps you can take to cut travel time. Like making sure you're on the Senatorial speeder. It has right of way and is pretty comfy. And? If I get ON it early enough? Blend in with the walls? I not only can't get kicked off by some plasbone slimeball of a "I think I'm better then you" senator's aid... but they'll run their mouths!

I have learned SO MUCH that way~!

Unfortunately for me? The Caf merchant was REALLY popular today. So dignified I am NOT.

"Hold the 'LIFT!"

It more a desperate plea then an order, but two seperate armored hands immediately reach out and stop the turbolift's doors from closing. Out of breath behind my Goverments mandated mouth gaurd, I struggle to catch my breath as I finally make it. The kriffing thing makes running almost impossible. It makes most things karking near impossible.

"Tha... thank! You!" I manage to pant, trying not to double over. I am a bit light headed. It's hard to remember what I'm supposed to do when I'm like this. "Kriff! I hate running. Can.. never breathe! Afterwards!"

The lift is full of Coruscant gaurds, their mysterious gazes presumably locked onto me. I could only assume, given how their helmets were turned towards me, but ultimately it was impossible to tell. The gaurd standing next to me was more heavily painted then the others. I still couldn't for the life of me figure out what the marks MEANT. Rank maybe?

"Should we be requesting a medical droid?" Came the mechanized voice of... I was fairly sure the one to my left? I turned to address the one I was preeeeetty sure had spoken. It was a small, echo-y lift.

"No, no. It's just the mask. Makes it kinda hard to breathe. Gover-"

I never got to finish explaining. Just as we reach the Speeder platform. As the doors began to open. An explosion ripped the world apart. The very mask I disliked so much, likely saving my lower jaw from being ripped completely off. The turbolift slammed back, crashing, durasteel screeching as supports ripped apart and gave way.

Rapid fire, more explosions. The Gaurd next to me grabbed me, tucked me tight as they braced. Away from the exit. As.. the world... slowly LEANED.

All I could do was stare, terrified, down at the sheer drop of the now frantic Coruscant traffic below. Commuters desperately trying to avoid falling debris. I could hear alarms. The transparasteel below my face cracked.

Wait.

Below?

The 'lift had leaned. MORE then leaned. It was half unmoored. Hanging out into open air. I clung to the gaurd that held me, my caf dropped long ago, now seeping like dark blood through the cracks to drip... drip... drip... out into that terrible drop.

I.. I couldn't breath. My heart was pounding. Too fast. Too hard. Oh Stars that take us in the End, oh Bones and Blood, that we are! C-can't BREATHE! I managed to make a hand unseize. Rip the glorified muzzle from my face, so I could suck in air. I was drooling. Like a mad hunt beast. A panic response, I remembered distantly.

So far down. Oh Stars. We were going to fall so far down!

A creak. A snap. We jerked and swung downwards. I think... I think I sobbed. Pressed as tight as I could make myself to the red heavy gaurd. He was sturdy. Hold strong. I could hear the other gaurds working quickly and in tandem behind me. But... but I was frozen. Useless. N..nothing but dead weight.

I must have started babbling. Apologizing. Because the helmet near my head turned slightly, the arm around my waist tightened just a bit.

"You have nothing to apologize for ma'am. We were trained for this. Made for this. Not you. You're going to be just fine, all right? We'll get you out of here. Just stay calm and try not to move."

We are almost out. Almost free. When the next attack hits. The cheap duracrete crumbles and we DROP. Gravity releasing us for a few, brief, and terrifying moments.

I do not face them with dignity. I am terrified. A fractured, strangled, scream trying to rip its way free of me. Fear too great to let it. Some stars blessed 'Lift cord catches, arresting our fall violently. We slam into the side of the building the Senatorial Speeder pad is on. Throwing gaurds around the lift pod. Smashing us all together.

The man holding me has his helmet knocked off in a violent bounce that leaves his jaw sporting a shallow but painful looking scrape from someone's boot. Two panes of the transparensteel are just... GONE. Howling wind a deadly reminder of what waits below, should anyone fall through those holes.

"Hammer, Tricks! Get those doors open NOW! I don't care if you have to BLAST them open! We are running out of time and I'd prefer not to learn what the low levels taste like at SPEED." Growled a commanding voice in my ear. Then the voice turn reassuring. "We got you. You're not dying here. We're getting out, okay? Just hold on."

I managed to nod. Drool had long ago overwhelmed my mouth, now painting my chin, smearing everywhere. A mess. It mixed with my tears and some part of me was screaming. Dangerous, dangerous! But... but all I could see was that DROP. Gonna fall. Oh Stars, gonna fall! Please. Scared. Don't let go!

I pressed closer. Ignorant of the way my drool wet cheek pressed against the still bleeding wound on his his face. Ignorant of how I was doing the ONE THING I had been warned time and time again to NEVER EVER do.

The turbolift door gave a screeching clunk as they were force out of place. Toppling away. The gaurds ignored it, immediately getting into action. There was a patrol speeder clearly waiting to get into position. One by one the jumped into it. Careful not to destabilize the already precarious lift any further.

Finally it was our turn. And? With a gut turning drop as I was carried down? We were safe. The Speeder immediately making room. I cried. Clung. It took me entirely too long to remember that something might be amiss. It was only when the gaurd I was clinging to stumbled. Admitted to a "bit" of a headache. That everything came crashing back.

Like ice water to the soul.

Oh Stars! What have I DONE!?

I scramble for my neutralizers. The full anti-spectrum kit. Oh Stars! It's in his BLOOD! I stared in horror at the damning sheen of my own spit against his cheek, my hands shaking, trying to rip open the pack. A medic takes it from me. Opens it for me and reads the flimsy guide in side. Curses.

There is no way to REALLY know who was exposed to me. So everyone has to go to the medcenter. Immediately. Get emergency shots just in case. Then follow up with medical droids for a couple weeks afterwards. BARE MINIMUM.

Why? Because my spit carries organic nanites. They hunt and DESTROY anything they deem "non-native" to the body... as defined by MY species. They ignore obviously alien races but human adjacent ones? They were DESIGNED to destroy augmented humans. "Purge" them of their enhancements. They can't tell they difference. Alien humanoid? Augmented Techganic? Same thing, right?!

Without the neutralizers? The nanites will RIP PEOPLES BODIES APART. And even WITH them? All it does is soft reset them to whatever current race their in. They still cause massive problems and medical trauma as they go about "fixing" any perceived damaged. Like, you know, medical devices. Or shrapnel.

They are meant to break and cannibalize what they can. Fix indiscriminately. If it causes YOU unimaginable agony? So be it. At least you will be "whole". Die Technoganic. Pure. The pain has KILLED people. The nanites? Dumb enough to attack VITAL STSTEMS they deem "wrong". Killing their hosts before they themselves can FIX anything. They were a WEAPON. And... and I infected an innocent man.

I am a monster.

All I can do, is apologize. Again and again and again. Stare in horror, into the eyes of the man who SAVED me, and know that I returned the favor by poisoning him horribly. If there was room? I would grovel. This is... this is unforgivable.

He grimaced past the building headache. Pats my shoulder.

The worst part is... is no one is blaming me.

T-they SHOULD be...

The hand on my shoulder spasms, grip turning crushing as my savior's body violently seizes. His hands shoot to his head, limbs twitching and lashing. Blood trickles from his nose. Eyes shut tight against some terrible pain. They've GIVEN him the shot! It should be countering the nanites! The only reason he should be in this much pain would be if there was something lodged in his brain!

All at once... like a doll with his string cut... he relaxes. Just in time for us to arrive at the Medcenter. They try to usher me away from the gaurds. Push them off towards some "take care of it yourself" corner of nowhere.

I throw a FIT. Loudly.

I am prepared to sit on the floor and scream and cry like a youngling, and it must SHOW, because they hurriedly rush us along. People GET their kriffing bacta. Their technoganic poisoning shots. Yes, I had to harrass the nurses it digging the shots out of storage. NO it couldn't KARKING WAIT!

I learned my saviors name was "Fox". That he's actually stationed in the same building as where I work. The Senate.

Thankfully? "I got BOMBED" is a valid excuse not to show up to work. I was allowed to head home. Fox even escorted me. Showed me where the Gaurds all get their off duty meals. Pretty spicy! But good! I don't really notice how clear headed Fox seems. Surely he always was, right? I can't have CHANGED anything, right?

I don't notice him bracing for headaches that never come. Having thoughts that don't slip away. Seeing the world and for once... REALLY seeing it. Being about to trace all the changes back to one person. The smiling, laughing, soul who NEEDED him so much.

He...he was MADE to be needed. To serve and protect. But does everyone DESERVE his service?

Huh... a strange new thought, that one.

But THIS one... this one might make The List. He really hopes she does. Nodding to a passing vod, his eyes drift back to her. She was warm. Stands as a rare bit of bright in Coruscant's filthy everything. He'd... He'd really like to keep her. Feels too soon, but it's true.

Everyone else have their generals. What do the Gaurds have?

Maybe this? Might be nice.

He hopes she makes the List.

[ezri261]

Chamber was never one for showing genuine interest in somebody. The people he slept with were merely flings or just used for his plan. But once he got into the protocol; he didn't expect his first love to appear.

[♡] Past Day

(Y/N) (L/N), born in (O/C), forced to move to France for business purposes. There, they met Vincent Fabron, a child whom they were afraid to converse with due to the fact of how he looked.

Vincent, didn't mind this. He was used to people avoiding him due to multiple circumstances, but something drew him towards them, like a magnet of some sort.

Of course, he had to find out. He tried his best to befriend the shy person, and little by little, he saw how they slowly came out of their shell and started initiating more conversations.

[♡] Past Timeskip

"Vincent! I made you a necklace! It's a thin one, so you can hide it if you want."

"Ah, merci (Y/N), you are far too kind."

Vincent looked at the necklace and put it on. It fit nicely around his neck, and it felt... Nice? Lovely? He felt something, but he couldn't pinpoint the word, but having (Y/N) give him something that was hand-crafted was... Flattering.

[♡] Past Timeskip

"I'm getting forced into an arranged marriage with the Laurent Family."

They cried into Vincent's arms as they vented out their frustrations. They didn't want to get married so early, and Vincent's heart ached when he heard what they were getying forced into.

"Chéri, I promise that I'll get you out of this mess, okay?"

He didn't know why he said that; he didn't even know how to get them out, but when he saw the hopeful look in their eyes... He knew that he was going to find a way.

.

.

.

.

Too bad that the first light happened, causing them to separate.

[♡] Present Day

Chamber walked through the halls of the base, trying to familiarize himself around the area since this is where he will be staying most of the time.

Agents knew not to trust him, given his past, yet he could care less.

His mind wandered over the past, hoping that he'll meet them again soon, and not their lifeless body.

[♡] Present Timeskip

"Chamber! You’re joining Agent 8, Fade, Omen, and Raze for a mission on Bind. They'll inform you more about the mission in the common area."

It's been a few months since he joined, and he knew most agents, and some were warming up to him. But, he hasn't met 'Agent 8', and was more curious at the fact that Brimstone didn't say their code name, only their Agent number.

"Pardon me, but who is 'Agent 8'?"

He couldn't help but ask, who wouldn't when you haven't seen the face of this 'Agent 8'.

"You'll meet them in the common area. You lot will leave at 8am tomorrow."

After Brimstone informed Chamber of the basics, he went over to the common area to find the other three there

"Excuse me, but isn't 'Agent 8' supposed to be here?"

"Yeah! They're just about to return from a mission! I don’t know how the heck they even do it; always in missions!"

Raze boasted, quickly turning over to Fade to go over the mission one more time as Omen was standing next to them, listening in and giving his own thoughts.

Chamber furrowed his eyebrows and nodded. So the reason why he hasn't met this mystery agent was because they were always in missions..? How hardworking.

Chamber shook his head and walked forward to know more about the mission, putting the other thoughts to the back of his mind.

.

.

.

.

"Sorry for the delay. I got caught up with some other things."

Chamber turned around just as the mystery person was taking off their hood; only to be met by the same (E/C) eyes that he adored, the same ones he looked forward to meeting everyday.

"I'm (C/N), I'll be the one leading the team. I'll assign Omen to lead when something goes wrong on my end."

NOTES:

(Y/N) (L/N) = Your Name, Last Name

(O/C) = Origin Country

(E/C) = Eye Color

(C/N) = Code Name

[alexthesillybilly]

An Analysis on William Afton and Henry Emily’s Relationship and Queer Subtext

Since the reveal of Glamrock Bonnie and his room in the Ruin DLC, I’ve thought a lot on the subtext of Henry and William’s relationship, and how it seems like a queer relationship hidden under layers of denial and guilt.  I’ve always loved to analyze and connect small details and I wanted to write something about my ideas. My point here isn’t to convince anyone of anything, just to share my interpretation of their story. So enjoy me rambling for a few pages!

Fazbear Entertainment's Origins

Fredbear’s Family Diner was created sometime before 1983- and since merchandise and other spin-off things had been created at that time, it can be assumed it had been running since the late 70s.  The 70s-80s were an extremely pivotal time for the LGBTQ+ community, for its rights and awareness - this links into another point I have, on the Glamrock animatronics and that being a very queer subculture.  This in itself wouldn’t say anything about their relationship, not really, but when certain throwaway lines are considered - mainly the lines about William’s obsession with Henry (which I’ll discuss more later) and another line I want to analyse a little now.  

As you already know, at Fredbear’s, Henry performed as Fredbear himself while William performed as SpringBonnie. In FNaF World, the loading screen for SpringBonnie simply reads, “Male? Female? It’s a rabbit, who cares.”  Yes, this is just a loading screen. It probably doesn’t mean anything intentionally, but I saw somebody make a really good point on it - credit for the idea goes to this post. It says that SpringBonnie being genderless could’ve had two reasons - one being William lacking the words for a nonbinary identity, and the other being William intentionally keeping SpringBonnie genderless so it could be assumed that they were Fredbear’s love interest. 

As I mentioned earlier, the glamrock subculture of the 70s was extremely queer, with new takes on gender, androgyny, and overall theatrics related to breaking the norms of the 60s.  This adds context to Security Breach’s characters, Glamrock Freddy and Bonnie.

The Glamrocks

Since the beginning of the franchise, both in-universe and as a game series, Freddy and Bonnie have always been together, in every game, even going so far as to be physically connected as Funtime Freddy and BonBon in Sister Location - which in itself could be William’s jealousy and obsession towards Henry intensifying after being kicked from Fazbear Entertainment. But Glamrock Freddy and Bonnie are the most interesting of their variants. These two are basically canonically queer, which is big. 

I have a specific take on their relationship I haven’t seen elsewhere (though I’m sure someone else thinks this, too).  First of all, I’ll do a rundown on how their relationship is portrayed in SB and Ruin. 

In Security Breach, Glamrock Freddy mentions Bonnie a few times - only to say he misses him.  We don’t get any context on him other than that, though the “theory” that is heavily implied is that Monty destroyed Bonnie out of jealousy, which is the theory I’ll expand on after my explanation.  

In the Ruin DLC however, things change.  Through turning off all the Wet Floor Bots, a secret room will open- containing more of these bots, but more importantly, Glamrock Bonnie himself.  He’s destroyed, like the other Glamrock animatronics by this point, but it’s obvious he’s been like this for much longer.  The more important part is his room. 

In Glamrock Bonnie’s room, a few things related to my point can be found - first of all, the Glam Freddy merchandise found around the room, which I could connect into William’s obsession with Henry, but most notably (and as you were probably waiting for me to mention), the poster.  There’s a poster on the wall of Bonnie’s room, of Glamrock Freddy.  It’s written on, and it reads: “You & me forever and ever!  Love, Freddy”.  So, pretty obvious implications here - it gets real hard to argue that they were simply friends.

Now, onto the point about Monty I mentioned earlier.  As is implied, Monty destroyed Bonnie out of jealousy- and likely was planning to do the same to Freddy.  I won’t bring up every example, but many times Monty is seen being violent towards statues, cutouts, etc. of Freddy and Bonnie.  So my theory here is that Monty represents William’s jealousy of Henry turning into violence. 

We’re not exactly sure what William was jealous of Henry about, but it can be assumed it was about family or something to do with the business.  Monty was obviously jealous over fame.  I like to think that Freddy and Bonnie before Monty represent when Henry and William first opened Fredbear’s, before the Bite of ‘83, before any incidents happened.  Then Monty destroying Bonnie and becoming jealous of Freddy, represents when William kills Charlotte and starts becoming the Mr. Afton we know.  The whole storyline of Glam Freddy, Bonnie, and Monty seems similar to William and Henry’s story to me.

But enough about them- let’s talk about the real depictions of William’s obsession and jealousy.

Their Downfall

I’ve mentioned it enough times now.  William’s violent obsession and jealousy of Henry led to Charlotte’s death, likely out of William’s anger because Henry’s family seemed so perfect compared to William’s.  Now I’m onto FNaF 6. 

Henry wants to end the whole tragedy once and for all, and he finds William in the form of Scraptrap.  While setting your old best friend and possible lover on fire and then banishing them to hell might not seem too romantic to most, I’ve always liked to point out that Henry’s final words to William are, “don’t keep the devil waiting, old friend.” Something about Henry still referring to William as a friend even in a time like this, after everything, strikes me some way, that even through all the years of grieving, Henry could never make himself hate William.  Even to the very end, he just can’t do it.

This next one is a bit of a stretch, but then again, this entire essay is built on the idea that two FNaF characters have repressed gay love for eachother, so who really cares what’s more reasonable or not? 

I like to think that Orville Elephant and Mr. Hippo represent what Henry believed could’ve been, if William hadn’t grown violent.  Mr. Hippo talks to the player in Ultimate Custom Night, his stories mainly focusing on him and his friend Orville.  The player of UCN is likely meant to be William Afton himself, trapped in his own hell by Cassidy.  Some of Mr. Hippo’s stories can be read as metaphors.  If you want to read all his dialogue go ahead, but here’s a few lines that stand out to me. (I’ve taken out some repeated words to make them easier to read.)

“Y'know, I never saw any ducks die myself, but I did notice a substantial decrease in the duck population over the course of a few years. I just never thought to stop the man and tell him that he was killing the ducks by feeding them sourdough bread!”

To me, the line “I just never thought to stop the man and tell him that he was killing the ducks,” might be related to Henry not doing anything to stop or confront William about killing the kids until decades later, in fear of losing him.  

“I said to Orville, “You know, sometimes I feel like a fish leaping over and over again, always trying to get somewhere, though I don't know where, only to find myself in the jaws of a beast." He looked at me surprised, "Have you been in the jaws of a beast, friend?" To which I said, "No, of course not Orville." I said, "I simply meant that life can seem like a relentless endeavor to overcome meaningless obstacles, only to meet an equally meaningless fate regardless of your efforts, regardless of the obstacles you passed."

I don’t see this one as really related to William, just Henry’s rambles. I still figured I’d include it, though.

“…Perhaps I met a demise of my own at some point and this is my afterlife or my dream or whatever it might mean, I honestly don't know. Or maybe it doesn't mean anything at all. Maybe it doesn't mean anything at all...”

Another that isn’t related to William, but Henry’s internal feelings that everything he did was all for nothing.  I like to think of it as some of Henry’s last thoughts before dying in the FNaF 6 fire. 

Conclusion

There isn’t really a point to this all- just to tell people about my interpretation, really.  So thank you for listening to me ramble about the toxic old men I think about way too often! Of course, if I don’t say this I think I will be personally assassinated by some of the FNaF fans - THIS IS ALL MY INTERPRETATION!!  I’m not saying this is the canon true story, I just enjoy making little connections to create storylines!  Anyways, if you want to share your own interpretations go ahead!! If you read all this you are incredible ily