#I remember when one year I got a toothbrush while trick or treating. sigh

[kamabokobun]

Trick or treat! :D

My condolences… at least you’ll be eating healthy.

[collecting-stories]

Jolly Rancher - JJ Maybank

Request: Hey! Do you think you could do an imagine where the reader is Sarah’s twin and all the pogues are at a party or on the boat and her blood sugar drops really low (she has type one diabetes) and her pump keeps beeping. She is mid passing out, not feeling good and rafe has her Insulin so little bit of big brother rafe worried about his little sister and JJ and her not being together yet but he was super worried about her (like all of the pogues tbh). Thanks xxxx I really love your writing 🥺 every time you post something it makes my day

A/N: I did moderate research for this because the only person I actually know with diabetes is a cousin I don’t speak to. 

Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

In hindsight, taking the Druthers out in the bay for a party after sunset wasn’t exactly the best idea you and Sarah had ever come up with. And yeah, technically, taking the boat out would have been totally fine and acceptable but none of you had considered bringing anything but alcohol with you. Six pogues (two honorary) on a yacht in the middle of the bay with just alcohol and weed. It was a bad combination in any version of the world but especially in this one, where you’d been pregaming white claw because you were finally, finally, gonna tell JJ how you felt about him.

The crush had been a saga ongoing since you had first discovered JJ Maybank, which coincided with discovering that boys, while terrible, were incredibly attractive. And sometimes...not too terrible. John B had started working for your family the summer before highschool and at the same time JJ started to pop up. Around the Druthers when John B was cleaning the boat, in a neighbor’s yard mowing the grass or cleaning the pool. And then at the Island Club. By then you’d started hanging out with Kiara and her friends and JJ wasn’t just some cute guy who was friends with John B.  

“Honey,” Kiara laughed, reaching for the can of Naturdays in your hand, “I think you need to slow down.”  

“I’m fine.” You promised, knee jerking rapidly as you gulped the rest of the drink down before Kiara could take it from you.  

You weren’t a heavy drinker. The last time you’d gotten drunk was in ninth grade, at a house party on the cut with Kiara. You’d guzzled down one too many Pabst trying to act cool in front of JJ and had ended up in the hospital in diabetic shock. Once everyone was sure you weren’t going to die, your father had laid into you about how irresponsible you were and how you had acted like a child. It was embarrassing, mostly because you were still saddled to a hospital bed and your friends were standing in the hallway, well within ear shot of Ward.  

After that, you stayed away from anything more than two drinks at a party and you always kept your insulin with you. Except, apparently, for tonight. You’d gotten yourself worked up over confessing your feelings to JJ and the possibility of rejection that you were well on the way to drunk. And your insulin was in your backpack, in Rafe’s truck.  

“You’re not fine.” Kiara laughed, “you’re like, buzzing.”

“Buzzing,” you offered her a dopey smile as you leaned forward, whirling your pointer finger around as you made buzzing noises and tried to poke her.  

“What the hell?” She swatted your hand away, “are you sure you’re okay?”

The commotion was enough to get Sarah’s attention and she turned away from John B to look over at the two of you. “You’re like vibrating babe,” Sarah said, “you’re really jittery.”

“Fine, I’m fine...I’m all good.” You promised, bracing your hand on Sarah’s shoulder as you went to stand up. You missed your footing, tripping over the air and hitting the deck before either Kiara or Sarah could catch you.  

“Oh my god!” Kiara got down on her knees next to you and helped you sit up, leaning partially against her. She pushed your shirt up so that she could check your pump and noticed realized it had been going off. “Hey, do you have like...something to boost her blood sugar? I think it’s dropping really low, I can’t really read this?”

“It’s definitely low.” You replied, hands shaking as you checked your pump, “yeah...too much...too much alcohol.”

“Where’s your insulin?” Sarah asked, crouching down so she could try to meet your eyes, “hey, look at me, where’s your insulin?”  

You hummed, a little too long before finally looking at Sarah, “uh, Rafe’s...shit, Rafe’s truck.”

“Are you kidding me? Fuck!” Sarah cursed, getting up to grab her phone so she could call him, “John B, can you take us back?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded, heading for the ladder.  

“Here!” JJ pushed through Pope and Kiara, spilling the contents of his backpack onto the deck beside you. Amongst a change of clothes, some pilfered pens, his wallet, house keys, weed, a stick of deodorant, and a travel toothbrush, was a bag of jolly ranchers. He grabbed a green one out and unwrapped it, holding it out to you, “here, it’ll make you feel better.”

“You have a bag of jolly ranchers in your backpack?” Kiara asked incredulously.

“Of course,” JJ replied, “if her sugar drops she said one jolly rancher usually does the trick.”  

It was a stupid thing to smile about, especially since you were currently using Kiara to hold yourself up and sucking on green apple jolly rancher, but you couldn’t help it. You had mentioned that ages ago, the first time you went out with the pogues after your drunken night turned ER visit, as you sat on the dock next to JJ. You had doubted he’d even cared and been embarrassed afterward for just rambling on about yourself but he remembered.

“You remembered,” you said as JJ sat beside you, letting you lean on his shoulder as the yacht headed back to the dock.  

Sarah had gotten a hold of Rafe quicker than she expected. He was already talking when he answered the phone, telling her that he was on the way back from Topper’s. According to Rafe he turned his truck immediately, that was what he told you later, when you were feeling more like yourself again. That he’d realized your backpack was still sitting on the passenger seat and he did a u-turn right there in the middle of the street. You weren’t sure that was totally true, your older brother’s pension for dramatics and your family’s obsession with treating you like a baby.  

Usually, it felt stifling but right now you were feeling pretty shitty about yourself. The jolly rancher did exactly what it was supposed to, boosting your blood sugar enough that you were beginning to feel better.  

“What were thinking?” Rafe called the minute he boarded the Druthers, “you know alcohol makes your blood sugar drop!”

“I know, I know!” You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. You’d moved from the floor to the couch, JJ leaving your side the minute your brother ran up the jetty. “I’m not a kid Rafe,” you muttered, grabbing your backpack from him.

“Really? Cause you left your bag in my truck and you’re out here drinking your ass off.” He snapped.  

“She’s okay,” Sarah urged.

“What if she wasn’t?”

“I am! And I’m right here!” You huffed, “Rafe, thank you and I know you were worried but I’m okay.”  

Rafe sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I’m not trying to be dad here...but you can’t take risks like that, you know better.”  

“I’m fine!” You slung your backpack over your shoulder and pushed passed Rafe, climbing down the ladder to the jetty. You’d apologize later, for now you were irritable and embarrassed and you just wanted to be back in your room, locked in where no one could see you and remind you how horrible this entire night was. The only decent thing that had happened was JJ but the more you let yourself psychoanalyze everything that happened the more you were positive that the pogues just saw you as a kid too. Like you couldn’t take care of yourself. Like you hadn’t been for the last ten years, since you were diagnosed.  

The Druthers said docked but you couldn’t tell from your bedroom window if everyone had gone home or if they were still hanging out and partying. You thought about texting Sarah but she would just tell you to come back down to the dock and stop pouting in your bedroom. You did your usual checks, to make sure your blood sugar had gone back up, and changed into comfier clothes. Even scrubbing off your makeup...you’d let this shitty feeling die before you saw anyone again.  

Or at least, that was the plan. As you were sitting in bed though, a knock at your window startled you. Not just a tap but a full-on knock. You climbed out of bed and went to the window, laughing when you saw JJ standing on the small balcony off your room.  

“What are you doing here?” You mouthed, reaching for the lock so you could open the window.

He pointed to his ear and then shrugged his shoulders, “I can’t hear you.”

You rolled your eyes as you pushed the window open and sat on the sill, “What are you doing here JJ?” You were trying your best to calm your racing heart, the last thing you needed was to go into cardiac arrest in front of him too.

“You left the party.”

“Not exactly in a partying mood...I was being stupid tonight.”

He sat down on the windowsill beside you, facing out toward the backyard but turning to look at you, “hey, I’m stupid every night.”

“You know what I mean,” you laughed, “I’m so careful...I haven’t had a night that bad in a long time.”

“Why weren’t you? Careful, tonight, I mean.” He asked.  

“It’s stupid.” You put your hands on your knees and looked away from him. You’d hyped yourself up to crashing lows and now he wanted you to tell him why? “You should go back to the party.”

“Not really in the mood...can you believe it?” He laughed like it was nothing but you could hear the heaviness in his voice.

“Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault...I just meant. If you’re up here, I don’t really feel like hanging out down there.”

You bit down on your bottom lip and looked over at him, feeling just the slightest catch in your throat. For a second you thought this night was going to get even worse and you’d throw up...but instead you just started talking, words falling out with no control, “I pregamed with Sarah before we even got on the Druthers cause I told her I was gonna tell you tonight that I liked you but I was so nervous that you would tell me you didn’t wanna date me so I just kept drinking...” you said. You realized a moment later what the implication was, “not that its on you that my sugars dropped...or like, not that you have to say you like me just cause I almost passed out.”

“What if I do like you though?”  

“You do?” You asked, shifting more toward him, “seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously...why do you think I came all the way up here? Or carry around jolly ranchers? I like you...I’d do anything for you.” He replied.  

You couldn’t stop the smile on your face as you leaned closer to him, “oh well, now it’s definitely your fault.”  

He laughed, “let me make it up to you.”  

You nodded, standing up and climbing back through the window before holding your hand out for him. JJ was quick to his feet, taking your hand and pushing the window closed as he followed you further into your room.  

[victimofthemusic]

Five Times Tony Stark Was a Good Dad (And One Time He Wasn’t) Pt. 4

Hello my loves! I know its been well over a year since I’ve been active on here and I’m so sorry for that. A lot of things have happened to me in the last year, some good and some bad and I’ve been so busy trying to keep up with my life and everyone in it. I lost my urge to write along the way and I’m trying so hard to get it back. I’ve had this in my documents for a while and it’s taken me over a year to write it, off and on and I’m unsure with how I feel about it, but with End Game coming out, I’m really trying to get this finished this year. I hope I still have some people out there that enjoy this story and if you’ve stuck around this long, thank you so much! Now, on with a new chapter! :)

If you’re new to the story, you can read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 here!

~~~~~

Liz is so pretty 

Chin resting in the palm of his hand, Peter gazed dreamily at her from across the cafeteria, watching as she hung up a banner advertising the homecoming dance, along the cafeteria wall. She was stretched up on her tippy-toes, straining to reach the hook and Peter had a momentary flash of panic at the thought of her falling, but she managed to reach it safely and without incident and Peter could breathe again. 

And then Liz caught his eye and smiled and suddenly, breathing was a problem again. He gave her a sheepish smile back, not expecting to get caught staring and he could feel his cheeks heat in a blush. 

“—Peter? Did you hear me?”

Peter jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder, shooting a glare at an amused Ned, “Dude!”

“What? Was Liz wearing a new top or something?” Ned asked, glancing over at Liz’s lunch table, where she was laughing and chatting away with her friends. 

“No, she’s worn the sweater before but never with uh, with the skirt—look, what were you talking about?” Peter demanded, desperate for a subject change. Anything, really, to wipe the knowing look off of Ned’s face. 

“I was saying,” Ned repeated with a pointed look, “Do you wanna come over this weekend? There’s a StarWars marathon on HBO Saturday.”

“Yeah, dude sounds awesome.” Peter said with genuine enthusiasm. With his nightly activities as Spider-Man, homework and spending time with Tony, Peter hadn't really had a chance to hangout with Ned like he used to. 

“Great! So I was thinking—“

Peter was trying to listen, he really was, but he saw Liz laugh at something Betty Brant said and he couldn't help but notice the way her nose crinkled in that adorable way when she was amused by something, her dark brown eyes shining in the mid afternoon sun—

“Dude!” 

Peter startled, shooting Ned a sheepish look, “Sorry.”

Ned just rolled his eyes, chancing a glance at Liz before looking back at Peter, “You should just ask her out.”

Peter gaped at him, a very un-dude like squawk leaving his lips, “Are you kidding? Liz is a senior, a senior, and popular. Two things that I am most definitely not. What could she possibly want with someone like me?”

Ned deflated a little at that, “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“Hey!” 

Ned ignored him, his face brightening, “But hey! Maybe Spider-Man could put in a good word for you! I heard Liz is having another party this weekend, maybe we could—“

“NO!” Peter said loudly, cutting Ned off and getting a few looks in the process. He lowered his voice, “Do you not remember what happened last time? Tony was so angry with me and he threatened to take my suit away if he ever found out about me going to another party. Not to mention the puke I had to clean off of the suit with a toothbrush—“

“You puked on the Iron Man suit?!”

Peter shot Ned a look that clearly said so not the point and continued, “There’s no way I’m ever disappointing Tony like that ever again.”

Ned sighed, “Okay, good point,” he casted a glance at Liz’s table and Peter followed his gaze, “well, at least she’ll be graduating soon and you’ll be able to move on to someone more attainable.”

Peter groaned, laying his head on the table and Ned patted his shoulder comfortingly. 

~~~~~

“Mr. Parker is on his way up, sir.” 

Tony looked up from his StarkPad when he heard F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice, just in time to see the elevator doors open and the welcoming grin slid off of his face when he noticed the rather dejected teenager step into the penthouse. He watched as Peter walked right past him, not even muttering his usual Hey Tony!, making his way into the kitchen to grab a snack 

Ever since Peter had started coming over more, Tony made sure to keep the kitchen well stocked with food and drinks—of the non-alcoholic variety, even though hadn't had a drink since Peter’s party escapade a few weeks ago—knowing the kid was in a constant state of hunger due to his high metabolism. The kid could eat, reminding Tony a lot of Steve. He made sure Peter knew he could help himself as much as he wanted, as long as it was mostly healthy and didn’t spoil his dinner. 

Peter grabbed an apple juice out of the fridge and a few granola bars from the cabinet over the sink, scarfing two of them down in one go. 

“As much as I enjoy having you come over and watch you eat me out of house and home,” Tony began, making the kid jump and look up rom the bottle of apple juice he’d been studying like he just realized Tony had been standing there the whole time, “I think the polite thing to do is to actually greet someone before you start raiding their kitchen.”

Peter flushed, “Sorry, Tony, I guess I was a bit distracted.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, “Care to share?”

He didn’t know it was possible, but the red hue on the kid’s cheeks deepened until it was almost a dark shade of purple. He furrowed his eyebrows, concern making his chest feel tight. 

“Seriously, kid, what gives? Did something happen at school today?” Tony asked, frown deepening, “is that lame Flash kid giving you problems again? Because if so, I won’t hesitate to have a one on one conversation with your principal and if that doesn't do the trick, F.R.I.D.A.Y. will have no issues hacking into the school’s database and erase that kid’s academic record from existence—“

“It’s not Flash.” Peter interrupted, look back down at the half eaten granola bar in his hand. 

“Oh,” Tony said, deflating a little bit. Whether it was from being wrong or losing his chance to finally put that punk Flash kid in his place, he wasn’t sure. A mixture of both, maybe. Tony didn’t like to be wrong and that Flash kid irked him to no end. Seriously, the fact that kid had the nerve to apply for an internship at SI after treating Peter like his verbal punching bag didn’t sit right with Tony and he made sure that particular application never crossed Pepper’s desk, let alone any of his competitors—

“It’s a girl.” Peter continued, breaking Tony out of his thoughts. 

“Pete, if you’re telling me you’re getting bullied by a girl, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Girls can be mean and intimidating. Have you met Pepper? Woman scares the shi—crap out of me on a good day. Seriously, the offer to hack into the school database still stands, regardless of gender, I don’t discriminate—“

Peter made a frustrated noise, cutting Tony of, “I’m not getting bullied by a girl!” He paused, considering, “well, there is Michelle, but I think that’s her way of saying we’re friends but—“ the kid flushed again and suddenly, a light bulb went off over Tony’s head. 

Oh 

“—her name’s Liz. She’s a senior and popular and captain of the decathlon team and I, well—I—I like her.” Peter admitted, biting his lip and glancing back down at the marble counter. 

The name rang a bell in Tony’s brain and after a second thinking, he understood, “Is this the same Liz that threw the party? The same party that, you felt the need to drink at in order to work up the nerve to talk to her? The same party that you thought would be the perfect time to introduce your pal Spider-Man to all your classmates? The same party that I had to give up my Saturday night for in order to fly into the suburbs to stop you from making what could possibly be the biggest game of your young life and your way of thanking me was to puke on my multi-million dollar suit? And all of this was to impress this girl?”

Peter, despite the flush dominating his features, shot Tony an annoyed glare, “First of all, Ned said you got there in under ten minutes, so your Saturday night couldn't of been that busy. Second of all, I said I was sorry for getting drunk and puking on your suit, which, I cleaned—with a toothbrush, might I add—and I promised that I would never do it again, didn’t I? And third of all, it’s not like I actually succeeded in putting on my suit, so everyone still thinks I’m still lying about knowing Spider-Man and I’m still this giant loser—“

“Whoa, hey kid, take a breath.” Tony said, holding his hands up and Peter snapped his mouth shut, “okay, first of all,” Tony began, mimicking Peter, who flushed, giving Tony a sheepish smile, “cool it with the sass, you’re starting to take after me and that’s never a good sign.”

“Sorry,” Peter murmured, giving Tony a small, apologetic smile. 

Tony waved him off, “But more importantly, Pete,” Tony continued, walking around the counter and resting his hands on Peter’s shoulders, who looked up at him with such a dejected look, Tony’s heart gave a painful twinge in his chest, “you missed my point. I know you made a mistake, you’ve more than made up for it and I have no doubt that you’ll hold true to your promise.” 

Peter’s shoulder relaxed under his hands and Tony smiled, “What I meant by all of that was, you shouldn’t feel like you have to change yourself or become something you’re not in order to get someone to like you. Spider-Man isn't a party trick or something you can use to get your foot in the door with someone. Take it from someone who knows, kid. Don’t ever use who you are or who you know as a way of getting someone’s attention. Those people don’t want you for you, they only want to use you. For connections, money, power or blackmail or bragging rights. And while you may care about them, they don’t give a damn about you. I learned that the hard way and trust me, Pete, it’s not a good feeling, being used.”

Tony gave Peter a sad smile that turned genuine at the overwhelming sympathy in the kid’s big brown eyes, “Peter, you are possibly the kindest, and smartest person I’ve ever come across in my life-time. You have a big heart and you care about everyone that you come in contact with. You’re a great kid and I have no doubt that you’ll do great things one day with that big heart and big brain of yours and if this Liz girl can’t see that, then she doesn't deserve you.”

Peter gave Tony a bright smile, “Thanks, Tony.”

Tony gave his shoulders a light squeeze, ruffling Peter’s unruly hair, “Don’t mention it, kid.”

As quick as Peter’s smile came, it faded, a worried crease appearing between his eyebrows, “So, how do I ask her out?”

Tony chuckled, tossing an arm around Peter’s shoulders, leading him in the direction of the lab. 

“Just be yourself, kid. If you try too hard, you’re sure to screw it up. Just let it happen naturally, talk to her like a normal person, because she is just a normal person.”

Peter nodded, but Tony could tell there was something else bothering him. 

“What’s going on in that big brain of yours?”

Peter bit his lip, staring down at his ratty sneakers. Tony made a mental note to buy him new ones. 

“What if—what if she says no?” Peter said finally, glancing up at Tony with big eyes. 

Then I sic my AI on her and all her hopes and dreams of getting into a good four year college no longer exist, Tony thought. 

Out loud, he said, “That’s always a possibility, unfortunately. But you can’t take it personally, Peter. If she’s not interested, she not interested. Be a gentlemen about it and understand that it was nothing to do with you or who you are as a person. There’s nothing wrong with you, she just doesn't return your feelings. But hey,” Tony said, pausing in his stride to look at Peter in the eye, “you at least tried and now you know where you stand and now you’re one step closer to finding someone who will return your feelings.”

He clapped Peter on the shoulder, giving him an encouraging smile and Peter returned his smile, looking much lighter than when he first came to the Tower. 

“Now, I have some idea’s for web fluid and I was thinking—oof.”

Tony suddenly had a side full of teenager as Peter wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist in a hug. Tony tensed, Peter’s open displays of affection always taking him off guard, but he relaxed, wrapping his arms around Peter in a quick hug. 

“Thanks for listening, Tony,” Peter said softly, “I would normally go to May about this, but she’d just make a big deal about it and it’d be ten times more embarrassing and I uh, just, thanks.” Peter finished lamely, cheeks flushed. 

“No need to thank me, kid,” Tony said with a smile, but it turned unsure and he debated what to say next, but decided to go for broke, “I know I’m not always the greatest at this…stuff,” he said with a wave of his hand, “but I’m trying, kid. And I hope you know that you can come to me for anything, whether it’s just to talk or if you need help with homework or girls or even if you just want to hangout, this tower, well, you’re always welcome. I just want you to know that.”

Tony was not blushing, he absolutely was not, but the blinding smile Peter gave him was worth any embarrassment Tony had to endure during that entire stuttered speech. 

~~~~~

“Okay Peter, you can do this, you can do this,” Peter mumbled to himself at his locker, brushing his hair out of his eyes and wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. 

Liz was standing at her locker, reading her notes for their shared English class and Peter felt his stomach fill with nerves at the sight of her. 

“You can do this, it’s just like Tony said, she’s just a normal person, you can do it.” Peter said, taking a deep breath. He slammed his locker shut, straightened his shoulders and headed down the hallway to Liz’s locker, where she was still reading her notes with a wrinkled brow.

You can do this, Peter thought to himself. 

Liz looked up when he approached, smiling brightly at him and Peter was momentarily struck dumb by just how beautiful she was. 

“Hey, Peter! Have you read the assigned reading for Hamlet? Betty told me that we have a pop quiz today and I’m freaking out.” Liz said, biting her lip nervously as she flipped through her binder. 

Peter swallowed, “Uh, I did and it wasn't that bad. Ned told me the quiz wasn't that hard.”

C’mon Peter, just ask her out already

“Oh thank god, I only got through half of it. Between Homecoming and prepping for Decathlon practice, I fell asleep last night before I could finish—“

The bell rang, cutting Liz off and Peter closed his eyes in defeat. 

Dammit 

“Well, I’ll see you in English.” Liz said with a smile, shutting her locker and turning to walk down the hallway. 

No no no no no no no no no

C’mon Peter, this is your chance, don’t waste it!

Peter sucked in a breath and summoned all of his courage—

“Liz, wait!” Peter said loudly, running to catch up with her. 

She paused in the hallway, raising a delicate eyebrow, “Peter, I’m sorry, but I’m gonna be late—“

“Willyougotohomecomingwithme?”

She furrowed her eyebrows, confused, “I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand a word you just said.” 

Peter took a deep breath, “Look, I realize I might be a little late and you might already have a date, but,” Peter swallowed nervously, glancing up at Liz with hopeful eyes, “I was wondering if you would, uh, you know, go to the dance, with, uh, me?”

“Actually, Peter—“

Peter winced, already sensing the rejection. He wanted a refund on his powers, his Spidey senses should warn a guy when he’s about to get his heart ripped out of his chest—

“—so busy planning the dance that I never really got around to the whole date part—“

Wait, what?

Peter looked up and saw Liz giving him a shy smile, “I’d love to go to the dance with you.

Peter gaped, “Wait, really?”

Liz giggled, her cheeks flushed a delicate rose, “Yeah Peter, I really like you.” she said shyly, tucking her hair behind her ear, looking up at him from underneath her long lashes. 

Peter blushed, “I really like you, too.”

The warning bell rang and Liz’s eyes widened, “Oh well I better—“ she nodded her head in the general direction of the English classroom, giving him an apologetic smile. 

“—yeah, I’ll uh, see you in English?” Peter asked, giving her a smile. 

She nodded, smiling back, “Sure thing, Peter.”

She hesitated, unsure, but she stepped up on her tippy toes and—there’s no way, no way she’s about to—

Her soft lips landed on his blushing cheek and Peter was sure his heart was about to beat right out of his chest. 

Holy shit

“Bye, Peter.” She whispered, flashing him a smile before she scurried off down the hallway, dark hair swaying about her shoulders as she ducked into the English classroom just as the final bell rang. 

Peter ignored it, pressing his hand to his cheek in utter disbelief. 

Liz Allan just said she’d go with him to homecoming

Liz Allan just said she really liked him. 

Liz FREAKING Allan just kissed him on the cheek

Him, lowly sophomore, geeky Peter Parker.

HOLY SHIT 

“Mr. Parker, is there reason why you’re not in class?”

Whoops

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mr. Stark, you can’t be seriously asking me to pardon war criminals—who, not only broke the laws that you signed, but broke out of a maximum security prison, which I still think you have something to do with—“

“Now, Ross, you’re a smart man and I know you can do simple math. There’s three Avengers remaining, one who’s currently still upstate going through physical therapy to get the use of his legs back and Vision is afraid of his own power and then that leaves me. I can’t fight everything on my own, I need back up, I need—“

My family back, Tony thought suddenly. It caught him off guard, how badly he wanted that back. The team, the camaraderie, the family—

“Mr. Stark?” Ross prompted impatiently, 

Tony shook himself out of his thoughts, clearing his throat, “This country needs the Avengers back. The world needs the Avengers back, with only me as the active Avenger left, we’re leaving the world vulnerable to outside attacks—

“—And how many casualties has the Avengers caused by inflicting their will on other countries—“

The door to his office opened and Tony took his eyes off the hologram in front of him, just in time to see a panicked looking Peter come bolting into his office at a break neck speed. 

“Tony—“ Peter panted, eyes bright and hair disheveled. 

“Kid, I’m a little busy here—“

“—are you even listening to me, Stark?” Ross’s angry voice demanded from behind him. 

Tony ignored him, “Look, Pete, I’m in the middle of something here, how’d you even get into my office—“

“—Stark!—” 

“—she said yes!” Peter said, cutting Tony off and it took a minute for Tony to switch gears and understand what Peter was talking about, but when he did—

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., end call.” 

“Stark, don’t you dare hang up—“

Ross’s angry voice faded and Tony tried not to think about the wrath he would have to face later or how much farther back that sent him with progress he was making with the Accords. 

But all of that faded when he took in Peter’s elated expression and Tony decided none of that mattered at the moment. His kid deserved his undivided attention, something Tony’s own father had never given him. Peter deserved better than that. 

“Sorry about that, kid, Ross gets angry when things don’t go his way—“

“I interrupted something important, didn’t I?” Peter asked, looking up at Tony with guilty eyes. 

Tony waved a hand, “Don’t worry about it, kid.”

Peter still looked doubtful, but Tony nodded to the elaborate chair opposite his side of the desk and Peter sat down hesitantly, while Tony chose to stand and lean against the desk. 

“Now, tell me everything.” Tony said, a warm smile gracing his lips when Peter launched into detailed play by play of the most glorious ten minutes of his life, as he put it. 

“And she kissed me on the cheek! Kissed me, Tony and she’s going with me to Homecoming—“

~~~~~~~~

Tony choked down some of May Parker’s date loaf in their tiny Queens apartment, watching as May fluttered around her nephew—fixing a stray curl, plucking lint off the suit Tony had made and tailored specifically for Peter—and he couldn’t help but feel grateful that Peter had wanted him here. 

“Tony? Can you—“ Peter gestured down to his still yet to be tied tie and flushed, “I don’t know how to tie this.”

Tony sat his date loaf down on the coffee table and made his way over to the anxious teen. He grabbed the tie, tucking it underneath the collar of Peter’s crisp white button down and with expert fingers, he looped the tie into the perfect windsor knot, making sure it was straight before stepping away, admiring his handy work. 

An odd sensation welled up in Tony’s throat as he took in the nervous teen in front of him, decked out in a custom Armani suit and the all black Chuck Taylor’s—something Peter insisted on because the suit is enough Tony, seriously. He might of gone a little overboard, he’s willing to admit that, but there was nothing in the world that Peter deserved more than one night as a normal teenager. The world expected too much out of this kid and Tony wanted ensure that Peter had all the experiences a normal teenager should, despite the fact that Peter was anything but normal. 

His phone beeped and glancing down at it, he saw the text from Happy telling him that he was here and waiting in one of Tony’s flashier cars that he was loaning to Peter for the occasion. 

“Alright kid, show time.” Tony said, glancing back up at the fidgeting teen. 

May squealed, “Okay! Don’t forget the corsage and remember—“

“—tell her she looks nice, but not too much because that’s creepy—“

“—don’t be creepy—“

“—and when I dance with her, I keep my hands on her hips.” Peter recited dutifully and May smiled, opening her arms for a hug. 

Tony glanced away, feeling like he was an intruding on an intimate moment between Peter and his aunt, especially when he heard May murmur, “Ben would be so proud of you, Peter.” 

“Thanks, May.” Peter replied softly, pulling away and fixing his suit, but Tony saw him wipe discreetly at his face. 

Peter glanced up at him and Tony smiled, “Knock ‘em dead, kid. Happy will pick you up after the dance and drop you off at home. Stay away from the punch, trust me, the whole ‘spike the punch bowl’ isn’t a myth. If you need anything, let me or your aunt know and make sure you get Liz home at decent hour, makes a good impression on the parents,” Tony squeezed Peter’s shoulder, “got it?”

Peter nodded, “I think so.”

Tony clapped his shoulder, “Have fun, kid. I’ve got everything covered for tonight.”

Peter gave him a grateful smile, “Thanks, Tony.”

“Don’t mention it, kid. Now scadaddle, Happy isn't a patient man.” Tony said, nodding to the door.

Peter gulped, grabbing the corsage sitting on the kitchen table and with a wave over his shoulder, he was gone.

Silence settled over the apartment and Tony could see May studying him with an intensity that made him decidedly uncomfortable

Tony cleared his throat awkwardly, checking his watch, “Well, I better—“

“Actually, Mr. Stark, do mind sitting down for a minute? I’d like to talk to you.” May asked and Tony gulped. 

May Parker reminded him a lot of Pepper, fierce and no nonsense, especially when it came to someone she loved. And if there was one thing in this world that Tony was sure of, it was that May Parker loved her nephew and she’d kill a man dead if it meant that Peter would be safe and happy.

And Tony would be a dead man if May Parker ever found out that he was not only encouraging Peter’s after school activities as a superhero by  handing him a multi-million dollar suit, but he was also responsible for putting her nephew in the same battle field as a super soldier and an ex-HYDRA assassin with a chip on his shoulder in the shape of a prosthetic arm. 

Tony (wisely) took his seat silently in an arm chair angled across from the couch and eyed May warily as she sank down into the worn cushions. 

“I won’t lie and say that I like you. To be honest with you, I don’t really agree with a lot of things you’ve done and I’m still not sure how I feel about you spending so much time in Peter’s life,” May said bluntly, folding her hands in her lap and Tony swallowed heavily. 

“But something is going on with him,” she continued, “I’m not sure what it is, but I know you’ve got something to do with it.”

Shit

Tony kept his face blank, while he scrambled to think of some way out of this that, not only kept Peter’s other identity safe, but also kept him safe in case May turned out to be a hitter. He knew better than to lie, because he was already dangling precariously on the edge of May’s trust and if she caught him in a lie, not only would this little “internship” with Peter end, he would put the kid in tough spot. He was already lying to his aunt about a lot of things, he didn’t want to be another thing added to that list. 

And Tony knew, deep down, that if Peter was forced to choose between him and his aunt, Peter would choose his aunt over Tony any day. And as much as Tony had bitched and moaned about taking on the full responsibility of monitoring the kid and looking after him, Peter had become an important part of Tony’s life and he wasn't willing to risk losing the relationship he had built with him by lying to the one person that Tony knew had Peter’s best interest at heart. 

So he went for broke. 

“Mrs. Parker,” Tony began, taking off his sunglasses and folding them neatly into his breast pocket, “I’ll admit, when I first stumbled across Peter, I knew that he would be a very valuable asset to me and my company once he graduated high school. He’s a bright kid with talent that I’ve only seen in myself and a handful of highly educated people that I’ve worked with. He’s passionate, he’s smart and he’s got an endless amount of ideas that would make some companies very very rich, mine included, if Peter wishes to continue working for my company when he graduates from college.”

May didn’t look impressed and Tony could feel his brow begin to sweat a bit. This is why Pepper always wrote the speeches, he was never good at this…talking thing. Selling his products, his visions, his ideas. That he could do in his sleep. But when he tried to sell himself—his intentions, his personality, who he was as a person—that he struggled with. 

“Peter…he’s special. And I don’t mean just because of his brain, of his gifts or abilities. He’s one of the most genuine people I’ve ever come across, he cares so deeply about the people and the world around him. And he’s persistent, too persistent for his own good, sometimes.”

May snorted and Tony relaxed a bit, “I care about Peter, a lot. I know that I may not be the best role model for the kid, but he’s going through things that he’s trusted me with, that I can help him with. I know I’m asking a lot of you, but you have to trust me when I say that will do everything in my power to ensure that nothing ever happens to Peter. I’ll make sure he’ll learn from my mistakes and he won’t follow in my footsteps. He’s already doing a hell of a lot better than I was at his age.”

“You can say that again,” May muttered, but Tony could tell that there was no heat behind it. 

Tony chuckled, “Like I said, I’m well aware that I shouldn't be anyone’s role model, that’s why I never had kids, but Peter,” Tony swallowed, suddenly feeling like he was revealing too much about himself. He was used to playing his cards close to the chest, never revealing too much, never giving away the game early. But his guilt at essentially helping a fifteen year old lie to his guardian about his extracurricular activities did weird things to the soul and Tony’s guilt complex wanted May to know that he had the kid, had his back and his best interests at heart and would lay down his life if it meant Peter got to live another minute of his.

Something, Tony was sure, his father never would have done for him. 

“Basically, if I had to choose what I would want my kid to turn out like, Peter would be the embodiment of it. I love that kid like he’s my own and I would never let any harm come to him as long as I’m alive.”

If May was shocked by this turn of events, she didn’t show it, instead, she regarded him thoughtfully and he could see a grudging respect in her eyes. But behind the respect, he could see the fatigue. Of raising a precocious fifteen year old with in a single income household, in one of the most expensive cities in the world, eight months after her husband was killed. 

Maybe Peter was right. Maybe they should hold off telling May about anything involving his spidey alter ego. 

May sighed, leaning forward in her chair and steepling her hands together under chin, “Peter’s been through a lot of tragedies. His parents, Ben,” she trailed off and Tony offered her his handkerchief when he noticed the wet state of her eyes. She took it with a shaky hand and dabbed at her eyes with the red silk, “Peter was there the night Ben died and if I could've afforded therapy, I would've sent him to one. But things have been so tight since Ben died and Peter just wanted to try his best to move on and I—I just worry.” May bit her lip and looked down at her lap.

“However, as much as it pains me to admit it, I have noticed a change in Peter ever since he’s started working with you on your internship and spending one on one time with you. He seems more like his old self, his grades have gotten better, he’s spending more time with his friends and he’s become more involved in school again. So whatever it is that he’s dealing with, if you feel like you have it handled and Peter trusts you with it, then I guess I can learn to live with it.”

Tony blinked. And then blinked again. And again. 

“But, if even one hair on his head gets injured while he’s in your care…”

Tony had an active imagination and didn’t need her to finish her threat. But what May didn’t know, was that if any harm came to Peter while he was with Tony, she wouldn't have to kill him herself. Tony would never be able to live with himself if anything happened to Peter, not on his watch. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Happy had returned from dropping Peter off and was waiting in front of the car when Tony came out of Peter’s building. He jumped to attention when he noticed Tony, running to the passenger door to open it for him, waving him into the idling vehicle. 

“Where to, bossman?” Happy asked.

Tony ignored his question, “Did the kid get there okay?”

He ignored Happy’s curling lip at the mention of Peter, “Yes, he did. After thanking me profusely for the first fifteen minutes, he proceeded to chat my ear off for the rest of the ride. I feel sorry for the kid’s date—“

Once again ignoring Happy entirely, he clapped him on the shoulder, “That’s great Hap, be sure to pick him up when the dance is over. I told him to text you when they were ready to go and you’ll take them wherever else they'd like to go. I’ve got some business to attend to.” Tony said, distractedly tapping at his watch. 

With a whoosh of smoke and thrusters, the Mark 34.5, Tony’s latest prototype of the suit, appeared and with a final wave, Tony hopped into the awaiting armor. 

“And Hap, lose the attitude. Tonight’s a big deal for the kid, let’s make it special, alright?”

The snap of the faceplate drowned out Happy’s grumbling. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y? On a scale of one to ten, how embarrassing is it for parents to show up to school dances to spy on their kid and their date?” Tony asked, testing out the the thrusters as he flew himself into the sky. 

“According to my findings, an average rating to that question is about a 9.6 in the level of embarrassment of teenagers and their parents unexpected arrival at a school dance.”

“Well, I guess we’re just gonna have to test out the new stealth mode. Give me the fastest route to Midtown Tech, I need to make sure the whole ‘spike the punch bowl’ isn't a thing anymore. We don’t need a replay of the roof fiasco we had a few weeks ago.”

“Would you like me to hack the security cameras?”

Tony grinned, “Yes, yes F.R.I.D.A.Y., that’s a fantastic idea.”

Just as F.R.I.D.A.Y successfully hacked into the security cameras and Tony was outside the school gym, his phone began to ring, Pepper’s face popping up on the screen, interrupting the live stream of the dance .

Shit

“Not now, F.R.I.D.A.Y, ignore call, ignore call, ignor—“

“Tony?”

“Sorry, Pep, I’m busy testing something out on the new suit—“

“—please tell me why you’re currently hovering over Mid-Town Tech’s Gym—“

“How do you—“

“You forgot to use stealth mode—“

Double shit. 

“F.R.I.D.AY—“

“You never gave me a direct order, Sir.”

“Tony? Are you—are you using the suit spy on Peter?! Tony—!“

Triple shit. 

~~~~~

Once again, thank you guys so much for the love and continued support of this story! I hope you guys liked it and as always, feel free to let me know what you think or any ideas for any fics/future chapters!

@jadepc @autumnhunter1 @randommemewithadream @rebbie444@abaikgirl @fantabulousshipperfromcamelot @afittingdistraction@letsallsleepoverwork @pepperr-pottss @help-i-need-a-cool-username@onedaysomedaytoday @ileavechaosinmywake @bloop-da-loop @rachhhhhl@anniejglee @hiccup-is-left-handed @spid3rboy @bonza-bear @claraangi ghost-apples  blanketburritothoughts daughterheir 

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[jazzyhazzy]

Hold On

I’ll fall in love with more than one boy in my lifetime, I know this to be true.

Catch up here

2018 begins in the way I would least have expected it to, my lips pressed against those belonging to my ex boyfriend, Jax. My mind unable to catch a break as it whirls into overdrive, my better judgement fighting against my pathetic emotions, on what I should be doing in this moment. But I’m at a loss, because this feeling as all too familiar, though it’s not one I’ve had the joy of experiencing for almost two years.

The feeling of kissing Jax, it used to be such a mundane, everyday experience. It felt… normal, it felt like I could be happy all over again, the way I was before. Back then, it was playful, lighthearted, in the early days when we were head over heels in love with each other - well, as in love as a couple of nineteen year old kids could be. As our relationship grew stronger and my feelings intensified, I could see the beginnings of a future together, I could see myself spending the rest of my life with this boy, telling our children all about how we fell in love at University and have been so loved up ever since.

But back then, I hadn't realised that my happiness had been dependant on him and him alone. I planned my life around him, made sure I was free when I knew he wasn't going to be busy, so I could maximise the time spent together. It wasn’t until he had moved out of home and into a new flat that things began to change between us.

I had always prided myself on being in a loving, happy relationship. Despite his flaws now, Jax had for the most part, been a wonderful boyfriend. He had come to my aid whenever I had been sick, he’d made me laugh until I’d cry when I’d had a rough day, he would pepper my face with kisses before he left for work early in the morning, and would often remind me how beautiful he thought I was.

That was the Jax I had loved, that was the Jax that I had known better than I’d ever known anyone in my entire life. That was the Jax that made my heart beat like a jack rabbit even after all this time apart.

But I had to remind myself that that Jax I had known, was not the Jax whose lips were on mine. This Jax was manipulative, this Jax toyed with my feelings like they meant nothing to him. I longed for the Jax that once put me high on a pedestal and treated me with kindness, showered me in affection.

Despite the time that has gone by, and the things he has done to make me hate him, I believe that for some twisted, pathetic reason, I still love this boy. I feel as though, as much as I hate it, I don’t think I will ever be able to truly get over him. I caught a glimpse of how it could feel when I met Harry. He made me realise that there’s more than just that life I had seen for myself with Jax. I’d make up excuses for him in my head, reminding myself that he just needs time before he’s ready to settle down properly, and of course I believed it would be me he’d be settling down with. Because it just didn’t feel right for either of us to be with other people.

After a lifetime of waiting for this moment, it draws to a close before too many people can notice the fact that we had been lip-locked for a good thirty seconds. Jax reaches to touch my cheek and I recoil from his fingers, not ready for any further contact. My chest heaving, my heart racing so fast I feel it might detonate right there in my chest. I’m coming back down to earth, from such an unexpected high, and realisation sets in.

I remember the boy in front of me, and can see through the loving look in his eyes. It’s a damn lie, all of it. He’s using me, he only just broke up with his girlfriend, and I’m obviously the first point of call for him, the first girl he knows will kiss him back at midnight, when the whole world has stopped and he no longer has a girlfriend to kiss, I’m that sad backup girl that he’ll call on to fill that same old void. Just like I have been for almost two years. 

“Are you-“

“Don’t you ever… ever do that again” I manage to growl quietly, so no one overhears. I shuffle further away, scrambling to my feet and putting distance between us. Distance I never thought I would crave to much.

I hate my mind for playing tricks on me, for filling my head with the wonderful memories of us together, the beautiful times we shared, the happiness he made me feel. It was like the touch of his lips bought it all flooding back, but as soon as the contact ceased, I was flooded with reminders of the way he’s treated me over the past two years. Like I was woken up from the ridiculous trance he had me under.

My gut wrenches with the sinking feeling that I’m going right back to where I started, pining after a guy that yeah, I once thought was the world, but in reality, he wasn’t good enough for me. No matter how little I believed that, I had to keep telling myself that there’s more out there for me. It doesn’t have to be Harry, but it also doesn’t have to be Jax.

I’ll fall in love with more than one boy in my lifetime, I know this to be true.

“Ruby… wait-“

“Don’t you think I’ve done enough waiting, Jax?” I hiss, turning on him, my finger pointed accusingly at his chest.

“All that time I spent waiting for you… watching from the sidelines while you got with other girls… while you lied about sleeping with them to my face” I snap, poking hard at his chest.

“I never asked you to wait for me” Jax retorts, continuing his advance towards me.

“You may not have directly asked, but you knew exactly what you were doing, stringing me along like that… keeping me waiting in the background for you… it’s disgusting…. you… you’re disgusting” I choke, barely believing it to be true, that I could ever have gotten those words out of my mouth, let alone speak them to his face.

It’s not without difficulty, as the familiar lump rises in my throat, and tears spring to my eyes. I’ve never been good at confrontation.

“Shit, Ruby. You’re a grown woman, I’m not forcing you to do anything” he shouts, getting fired up at my accusations. He has always thought he was a saint, some kind of angel. Just because his Mum thinks the world of him, he assumes he’s the world to everyone, that he’s untouchable and can do no wrong.

“You knew I loved you and you took advantage of my feelings for you” I sob, the emotion paramount. I can no longer play the role of the brave girl when I’m breaking down at his feet like this. After all this time.

He clicks his tongue and looks at me with sorrow filling his eyes. He no longer knows what to say, he knows I’m right about this, and he knows he’s only made the situation worse by kissing me tonight out of the blue.

“I can’t do this anymore, do you see what this does to me? Can’t you see that you’ve completely destroyed me?” I whisper, taking another step away from him, but forcing myself to keep looking right into his eyes, so he can stare straight back into mine and see the damage he has done.

“Things are different now… I broke up with her… to be with you” he confesses, his eyes pleading. But I don’t believe he is genuine, it feels like a last ditch attempt to keep me close as he feels me slipping out of his grip at last.

“You know, Jax. It really disappoints me that someone like you can go from being so wonderful, to being the biggest, most manipulative, nasty piece of work. But what disappoints me more, is that I fell for it for so long.” I tell him, indignant. Before he has a chance to respond, I turn on my heel and run home. I know that if I stay there much longer he’d only have time to manipulate me back into his arms, and I can’t fall for that any longer.

I need distance, I need to be further away from him and his toxicity. I need to be out of reach of his cruel grip. But for right now, bed will have to do. Sleep will ease the madness echoing around, bouncing off the walls in my head.

***

The next morning, I feel no better, in fact, I feel a hundred times worse. Not only is my head still buzzing, but its also thumping with the throbbing pain of a hangover induced headache. A headache only made worse by the constant banging on my door. I assume Lydia, because no one else has ever knocked on my door so furiously….

But then as I hesitantly take steps towards the door, I fear it might be another person I don’t want to see.

As quietly as possible, I tip toe up to the door and peek through the peep hole, sighing in relief as I see a frantic looking Hettie on my doorstep. I open the door for her immediately and her hand hovers in mid-air as she was readying herself to knock again.

“Have you been home?” I ask, my voice coming out a strained whisper, my throat dried up. She’s wearing exactly what she had worn last night.

“Ruby I’ve kept my mouth shut, but I saw you and Jax last night… and then I saw the two of you disappear… and neither of you came back…” she stated, wanting answers. And rightly so. I had assumed Jax would have rejoined the rest of the group once I ran off. 

I step aside and beckon her through the door, pointing her towards the couch as I dash off to the bathroom to keel over the toilet and empty the last remaining contents of my stomach into the white bowl. The thought of what happened last night making me feel physically sick. What the hell had I been thinking?

I rinse my mouth out with mouthwash, glancing at the spare toothbrush beside mine and looking away just as fast, my head already a mess without the extra thoughts of Harry to cloud it. Re-emerging in the lounge, I sink into the couch beside Hettie, and stare at the ceiling. “He kissed me, thats it.” I tell her, answering her burning question of whether or not we disappeared to have sex, because I know that is exactly what she would assume.

“You guys disappeared-“

“Yeah, we talked. Well, I guess it was more yelling than talking… Hettie, I have to get out of here” my voice breaks on the last word, my calm demeanour slipping. 

She immediately pulls me against her side in a hug, and I can’t help but cry into her shoulder, thankful that it was her that saw, and not Lydia, who would have made a huge deal out of the situation. While Lydia is my best friend, sometimes she goes overboard. Sometimes its best she doesn’t know certain things.

She shushes me, until I calm down some, and disappears to the kitchen to make us coffee. Once again, I don’t know where I would be without my friends. I hold the mug tightly in my hands, letting the boiling hot mug burn my skin as I grip it. “Do you need me to go with you?” she asks me seriously, sitting back down beside me and looking me dead in the eye.

I’ve dreamt of leaving this place since I was a little girl, but I had always pictured it being alone. I was always alone in the dreams, seeing the sights with only myself as company. It wasn’t right to ask this much of a friend, she probably has a small road trip in mind, whereas I had much bigger plans.

“I think I just need some time on my own… you know… it’s all a bit much” I confess, sipping at my coffee and feeling the scalding hot liquid burn my tongue. But I don’t wince. She squeezes my knee, understanding. “I’ll never forgive you if you went back to that douchebag.” Hettie tells me confidently. I know she is right, all of my friends would feel the same way, after dealing with me and my stupid feelings for so long, they’ve had enough of Jax.

“That’s why I have to get out of here, Hettie I need to be far, far away from him, otherwise he’ll just convince me to go back” I mutter, knowing it would only take a few magic words and a special kind of smile to get me running back to him. I owe it to myself to stop it from happening again, I won’t put myself through all of that a second time round.

She sighs, but she understands, she’s been so good about everything, never judging me for taking more time than your average person to get over and ex, never once did she make me feel like I was pathetic for consistently falling into his traps. “Let me know if you need me to do anything, anything at all… I’ve got pretty good in my karate class, I’m an orange belt so I’m kinda a certified badass if you need someone to go kick some ex boyfriend ass”

A laugh bubbles through my lips, and I don't think I have ever loved her more than I do in this exact moment. “Please don’t tell anyone about any of this” I plead, only just feeling like I’m getting back to the old Ruby, I don’t want people talking about me still being hung up on Jax. For now, I just have to get out of here, I feel almost as though my life depends on it, I’ll scratch myself out of my skin if I don’t leave.

Hettie thankfully changes the topic, telling me about her sweet night with James, walking along the waterfront and stealing kisses, holding hands and all the cuteness and innocence of a budding romance. Once she’s finished her story, and her coffee, she takes me into her arms by the door, holding me for a minute at least. I just stand there and let myself be held, by a friend, by someone I can trust.

“Wherever you go Rubes, be safe, and message me. I’m only a phone call away” she reminds me, and we share one more hug before she leaves. Again, I’m alone. But this time it’s good, this time I need to be alone. I need to get a few affairs in order before I leave. I have no plan, I have no destination in mind, just the knowledge that I need to flee, far, far away from here. I need to get my thoughts in order, and my mind straight.

I consider texting Harry, I think about taking him up on his drunken offer to fly me to wherever in the world he was, but I decide against it. I definitely need to be alone for a while. I can’t have anyone whispering in my ear, swaying me.

Once I’ve pulled myself out of University for the semester, with a final click of the mouse, I pull my phone off the charger and dial work, informing them in a voice message that I’m quitting effective immediately… and that I hope they enjoy the rest of their Monday.

I take some time to carefully pack my belongings into the biggest suitcase I own. A suitcase that has been waiting years for me to finally pack it for the trip of a lifetime, I just never thought it would all happen so suddenly. I pack for warm weather, I pack for cold weather. I pack bikini’s and scarves, activewear and a pair of heels. I pack something for every occasion, squeezing everything I could ever need into this one suitcase, knowing that I could happily live out of it for months on end.

My student loan was going to continue paying the rent for my room in the flat, and that was enough to keep my flatmates happy when I abruptly messaged them, informing them of my sudden departure. Uncertain of when I would be returning. The next order of business was my parents, hearing my mother cry over the phone was enough to get my own tears flowing again, but I wouldn't let her concern stop me when I’ve come this close to leaving, my dad only encouraging me to go more, “You’ve spent your entire life dreaming of this darling, so go out there and fucking do it” My father wasn’t a man who swore often, but he felt so passionately about this on behalf of me, that he let one F bomb slip through the cracks.

They told me to call them if I ever needed anything at all, money, a chat, anything at all. There was only one last person that I had to tell, and I was dreading it most of all as my clammy, nervous hand gripped my phone tight to my ear.

“Rubes! What’s up?” Lydia answers, surprisingly cheery for someone who should be hungover.

“Lyd… I’m leaving.” I announce, holding my breath through the minute long silence that followed it. The hairs on my arm standing as I await her response. “I don’t understand, leaving where?” she grumps, I can picture her on the line, her face contorted into a wicked frown, her head shaking in denial.

“I’m going… on my trip, I’m about to get into a taxi for the airport”

“Well… Well where…where are you going?”

I shrug my shoulders, but she can’t see that. “I haven’t decided yet, I’m just going to go wherever I fancy I suppose” I reply casually. Because that’s the only plan I could possibly have at such short notice, I know I’ll have to fly to a bigger airport before I had the luxury of choice, maybe somewhere like Singapore, or Sydney.

“Why?” she asks, and I had prepared for that question, the most obvious, inevitable question she would ask me. “It’s Jax” I admit, “I need to get away from this whole place, I need to clear my head… I’m sorry for springing this on you, but I only decided this morning to go”

“Don’t you think you should sleep on it, at least?” she tries to bargain, to get me to stay, but I won’t let myself turn back now, not when I’m packed and ready to leave. My decision is made, I tell her, before sending my love and promising to message and Face Time her often. She’s reluctant to hang up, and I hear her sniffles through the speaker as I tell her goodbye, for now.

Leaving my friends, is going to be the hardest part about all of this, they are the ones who have up until this point gotten me through everything that life has thrown at me. But now it’s time for me to grow a pair, and get out there and get myself through this hurdle I’m dealing with right now.

On a whim, I dart into Addie’s room, yanking one particular picture from the wall and folding it up, tucking it into a slot in my wallet. Just in case I ever needed reminding of his face, or in case I needed to put a face to the voice in my head, beckoning me to his side, or urging me to punch Jax in the throat.

I take one last look around the flat, and throw my backpack onto my back, gripping tight to the handle of my suitcase and wheeling it through the door, locking it and checking twice before I make my way down to the street to wait for my taxi to the airport. My head still throbs painfully, but I’m buzzing with excitement to finally be getting away from here. Away from all of my problems, running away from your problems is meant to be the wrong way of dealing with them, but in this case, its the right answer for this situation.

The best place for me to be right now, is far away from Jax. Which is difficult to do as he’s running across the street towards me.

“Rubes” he calls, the mere sound of his voice setting my senses into overdrive.

“Get out of here Jax, I made myself clear last night” I snap, my tone biting. But of course he doesn’t listen, why would he? He has absolutely no regard for me and what I want, it’s all about him, and his terms and his rules and what he wants. It’s never been about what I want.

“Where are you going?” he demands, nodding at the giant suitcase at my side. My grip on the handle tightens, the whites of my knuckles showing.

“I’m leaving, so whatever you came here to say, forget it.” I tell him firmly, turning away from him to face the street, wishing my taxi would hurry the hell up and get here already. I’m in no rush to get to the airport, seeing as I have no flights booked anyway, but I am in a rush to get away from Jax. “Ruby, you can’t just leave, we have to talk-“

“There’s nothing left to talk about, we’re done here.”

He makes a grab for my hand but I snatch it away, afraid of the what the contact would mean for my judgement. “I’m not done here… Rubes I know I’ve hurt you, but please just stay, we can go away for a few days and figure this all out… please.” he pleads, hands still reaching towards me.

Gnawing on the inside of my cheek, it takes everything in me to keep my chin up, to look him in the eye and tell him for the last time, “There’s nothing to figure out, Jackson. We’re done.” I can’t help but feel my heart break a little more than it had been before. I have waited so long to hear these words from him, to have him ask me for this, but now it’s just too late. I’ve made my decision to leave, and I know that’s what I have to do.

His eyes don’t darken like they once would have at my defiance, his hands drop to his sides, shoulders slumped in defeat. Not only has he lost his girlfriend, but he’s also lost his backup girl. The girl he had thought would be waiting in the wings for him once he’d finished messing around with other girls. The girl he always intended to spend the rest of his life with, but just was never quite ready to commit until it was too late, until she had already slipped through the cracks and realised that she was worth more.

“You go Ruby, but I’ll be right here waiting for you when you get back.” he promises. I just about snort at the notion he’s proposing. For the tables to turn? Absurd. I’d like to see him wait almost two years while I go galavanting around fucking a bunch of random guys and even get into a relationship just to rub it in his face a little more, in case the sleeping around wasn't enough to crush him.

But unlike him, I’m not a heartless bitch, I would never do to someone what he has done to me.

“Don’t bother.” I smile, already feeling like closure is within reach. My taxi finally screeching to a halt before me, the driver popping open the boot and struggling to lift my ginormous bag into it. I don’t look back as I climb into the back seat, shutting the door behind me, but I do wind down the window and look out at him, scuffing his feet on the pavement as he watches me leave.

“Jax…” he looks up, and I feel like my eyes are met with the old Jax once more, the good one, the one that had once meant the world to me. I swallow the forming lump in my throat, feeling like we’re breaking up all over again. “Take care of yourself” I tell him, managing a small tearful smile as the driver finally puts his foot down, and just like that, I leave everything behind.

Discuss here xx

[blue-collects-things]

A List of Some Random Harry Potter Headcanons

The Boy Who Lived

Warnings: mentions of panic attacks and anxiety, mild swearing (shocking, I know), excessive puns

Requested: No

Author’s Note: The first part of my url is “multifandom” which means more than one fandom. And I love the IT fandom a lot, but I want to branch out and do more than just that. So, remember to make your requests from other fandoms too! I’ll get a more comprehensive list of the fandoms I’m in/what I ship sometime in the next 2 weeks.

Really good chef because of all the times his aunt made him cook as a kid

Speaking of, Petunia really does love her nephew and they write to each other all the time (owls are sort of a regular at Privet Drive now)

He and Ginny have a running joke about how many times Rita Skeeter have tried to make them headline material

*sees Ginny opening The Daily Prophet* “Who am I cheating on you with this time, Ginny?”

“This time, it’s Draco.”

“He’ll have a field day with that. And you?”

“I’m secretly very unhappy and have crashed many a date of yours’.”

“Damn it, Ginevra, let me have my affair in peace!”

He teaches James Sirius to ride a broom before he can walk

Every time he broke his glasses as a child, he had to tape them together so as not to hear Uncle Vernon’s speech about how expensive he was and how he should be grateful for all the money he was supplying. At Hogwarts, he learns to fix them with magic and change the prescription when his eyes inevitably get worse.

When he got to school, he was so skinny that the teachers (read: Minerva) were scared to send him back home because they thought he was malnourished.

After the Ron-Lavender incident, Hermione and Harry have platonic cuddle sessions to help assuage their stress and the habit carries into adulthood.

He loses his glasses literally all the time

“Can someone find my glasses?”

“Did you check the table beside you, dad?”

“How about your pocket, father?”

“Are they on your head again, papa?”

“Yes, that’s where they were. Thank you!”

Lily Luna totally calls Harry papa while James goes for father and Albus goes for dad

Harry and Draco were put on the same Auror team and had to learn to respect each other (though they do it grudgingly)

“You’ve lost your touch, Potter. I had to swoop in and save your arse again.”

“We wouldn’t have been in that position in the first place if your dumb ego hadn’t put us there, Malfoy.”

*long pause* “Good job today.”

“You, too.”

Harry is bisexual af.

He had equal crushes on Cho and Cedric during his fourth year.

Fleur totally knew (because she is too) and was Harry’s confidante.

When he found out that they were dating each other, he was crushed.

Fleur and Harry snuck out the next day and talked about all the cute boys and girls in Hogsmeade.

Luna and Harry go dancing every once in a while to have fun and just chat because they are still incredibly good friends

Once, Harry got such a bad headache that he broke down and cried for an hour because he thought his scar was hurting again. Albus finds him curled up in the bathroom and just sits there with him, knowing from first hand experience that the best way to deal with an anxiety attack is to find something steady to focus on.

On particularly bad nights when the PTSD is hard to handle, he and Ginny will stay awake with one another and play wizard chess silently, pretending that all the nightmares in their heads are just that: in their heads and didn’t actually happen to people they love.

Harry most certainly did not loose his ability to speak Parseltongue. He buys a snake and talks to it all the time. One day, he sees little James talk to the snake, a mix of English and hissing, and Harry nearly starts to cry.

“Are you okay, love?”

*tight high-pitched voice* “I’m fine. I’m all good.”

Harry and Hermione team up to trick people about muggle objects and sayings

“So, a ‘computer’ is for washing up?”

“Yes, absolutely, Ron.”

“And does every muggle have an uncle named Bob?”

Harry and Ron tell stories to their kids all the time about their “glory days” and their wives give them equally long-suffering sighs

Every Halloween, Harry gets up really early and Apparates to Godric’s Hollow and lays flowers on his parents graves and talks to them, telling them about their grandchildren and daughter-in-law and his godson. The rest of the day, he throws himself into teaching his kids all about muggle Halloween traditions and dressing them up, giving them candy, taking them trick-or-treating, and watching scary movies with them, but Ginny knows he’s hurting. At night, Ginny opens her arms and Harry lays in them, thinking of the lives his parents could have had and listening to his wife’s heartbeat until he falls asleep.

Teddy practically lives with the Potters. He’s got his own room, a toothbrush, and some clothes. Harry tells him stories about his father and shows him pictures of when their parents went to Hogwarts together.

Whenever someone takes pictures of Harry, he can’t help but think of little Colin Creevey, hiding behind his camera. For a moment he’s sad, Colin was a friend and fellow Gryffindor, but then he smiles, remembering that picture-taking Colin would’ve wanted him to.

Harry grows a bit of a beard at one point. Whenever he goes out, he gets catcalls and wolf whistles from women of all ages and some men, too.

The first time Ron saw it, however, he was less than impressed.

“Why’ve you got that badger on your face, mate? You’re a bloody lion, for Merlin’s sake.”

Dudley’s daughter is without a doubt magical and when it’s time to send her to school, Harry gets asked for help.

Dudley: “What in the bloody hell is this?”

Harry: “It’s a book.”

Dudley: “Why did it try to bite me?!” 

*on the phone* 

Daughter: “I got into Raveclaw, daddy!”

Dudley: “That’s great, sweetheart!” to harry “What’s a Ravenclaw?”

Harry: “It’s the intelligence house.”

Dudley: “That’s my girl. Be smarter than all the other Robinpaws.”

Sometimes, when his kids are asleep, Harry will go into their rooms and watch them. He tells them how much he does them and that he’ll always protect them, no matter what, even though they can’t hear him.

One time, James (a teenager) wakes up while his dad is talking and is so touched that he starts crying.

Lily really, really wants a dog and Harry can’t say no to her puppy face, so they get a big black lab and give her the task of naming it.

“Now, this is his name, sweetie. Make it something good.”

“He looks kind of like a Peter to me.”

*Harry drops a dish in the kitchen*

Ginny makes as many patronus-related puns as she can with Harry. It’s a little harder the other way around.

“Good morning, deer.”

“How did you sleep… hoof-y.”

“Nice try. I still a-doe-r you.”

*Harry rolls his eyes*

“What’s the matter? Thinking of leaving me and going stag?”

*Ginny laughs manically while Harry bangs his head off the counter*

~ ~ ~

Thank you for reading this! I loved writing it and want to do more multifandom stuff. Have a request? Submit one here. See my masterlist here.