#I really really love yang as shown on my tier list so

[dramalets]

2024 Watch List pt1

Here we go again!

To sir, with love - This is a lakorn so it's appropriately dramatic. The mothers are absolutely foul and do an awful lot of scheming and yelling. Jam/Film are intensely watchable and make wet fish kisses look terribly romantic. Tongtong Kitsakorn as Yang was a revelation. I'm sad he's pm just a lakorn actor/pop star because he is so watchable. I loved that, though they were evil and insane, the mothers all felt fleshed out and realised. You understood why they were yikes. 3½/5 (2/1/23)

A Boss & a Babe - I quit this at episode 2 and then decided to go back to it. I don’t regret doing so. This isn’t top tier but it’s also not shit tier. Cher, the very dictionary definition of toxic positivity, and Gun, an autism coded cat man, enter into an extremely quick romance (like seriously, it’s taken hard worn lesbians longer to say I love you) the catch being they’re intern and company boss. Honestly in another drama that would have been the the huge hiccup of the series, keeping them apart, but it’s consistently shown to be more of an issue for others that it is for them. This is very low conflict, mostly romcom fluff with two weirdly intense, barely explored side stories for support characters. I didn’t loath Force in this and would actually like him to be given more roles where he’s just a soft simp and not a boring sarcastic one. Book does some good comedy work here. 3/5 (4/1/23)

The day I loved you - I know this won’t work for everyone. It’s a bittersweet ten episode love story between a boy with ASL and the ‘rebel’ exchange student at his school. Pinoy BL, for me, either really hits or really misses and this hit. It does use a questionable model of disability, namely the inspiration model, but I cant nit pick too much when this is only ten 15/20 minute episodes. I enjoyed it a lot, you may also if you’re okay with a bittersweet ending vs an out and out happy one. 3½/5 (12/1/24)

VIP Only - Well this was adorable. Slow as molasses and just as sweet. This probably won’t be for everyone, very slow and not much happens other than character growth and a love story, but it worked for me. The edit is horrendous in places and I do wish Taiwan did longer episodes, but those are my only gripes. 3½/5 (19/1/24)

I cannot reach you - I don’t really watch Jbl. There are just styles and tropes that I don’t enjoy watching that Japan uses a lot of. It’s a taste thing more than it is anything else. So keep that in mind. This is full of a lot of the things I don’t like; over action, randomly running everywhere, sudden non-con. But it’s also endearingly sweet and very well acted, so I did find myself enjoying it. I don’t think this’ll awaken a desire to watch lots of Jbl but it has made me consider some others. 3/5 (20/1/24)

Last Twilight - I had a lot of fun with this. The dialogue and acting were all top notch and, as ever with Aof productions, it was stunning to look at. It weaves the story of two broken people healing one another very well with Jimmy & Sea doing beautiful work as Mhok & Day. I think this came a little unstuck at points in the end. I liked most of the romance movie style ending but I remain a little unsure about Day’s ending. Still, this is a show that I enjoyed every week and will have no issues rewatching. 4/5 (26/1/24)

Old Fashion Cupcake - I’m working on trying out more JBL to get a feel for what I do and don’t like. This? This I like. We don’t have enough stories about older people anyway and this does it well. Togawa’s slow courting of Nozue through shared experiences and casual intimacy is delicious to watch. 4/5 (4/2/24)

Pit Babe - I love when I show wholly knows what it is and doesn’t try and be anything but that. This knew it was a big ol’ fanfic and leaned wholeheartedly into that. Whether it was the breeding program subplot or the consistently dumb toothpaste and sausage ppl it handled them both with equal aplomb. It’s also worth noting that was largely really well acted too! Pavel, Nut & Sailub particularly impressed me but there was nobody bad. 4/5 (9/2/24)

Our Dining Table - My journey into JBL continues and this was the best one yet. Soft pining between two sad boy leads with a gorgeous found family story woven in. The treacle slow courting between these two won’t be for everyone but it was wholly for me. 5/5 (17/2/24)

Cooking Crush - The edit on this was criminally bad at points, sometimes I truly felt I’d skipped a part and I hadn’t at all, but it still served up a good little story. If you’re visiting this for the romance it’s not really that, the story is in the friends and their lives more than it is in Ten & Prem’s romance. I loved the comedy in this, it hit those notes well and was never over the top. (Lots of puns that I expect are super good if you speak Thai.) Nobody is bad in this, everyone delivers, but OffGun are as watchable as they always are and the few kisses they do have are perfect. 3/5 (18/2/24)

The Novelist - When I say I don’t love JBL it’s usually because the tropes are just too tropey for my tastes. Apparently I’m a lying liar who lies because this is extremely Japanese and I loved every moody second of it. Kijima is a sad, lonely, messed up man who doesn’t think he’s deserving of anything good and it’s wildly compelling to watch. 4/5 (18/2/24)

Mood Indigo - Fucked up 4 Fucked up. Two broken, sad, lonely men mess up repeatedly, and erotically, that’s it that’s the show and I ate it up with a spoon. Deeply flawed assholes being toxic together, when it’s well written and well acted, is so disgustingly watchable to me and this certainly was. 5/5 (18/2/24)

The Novelist: Playback - Continues where The Novelist ends. I watched the clean version of this, it was what was available to me, and was still deeply entertained. So if you think people watch this series for the heat then you’re incorrect. This is another instalment of Kijima Rio being a horribly broken fuck up of a man. I loved it. 4/5 (21/2/24)

Tokyo in April is… - I love a good destined to be together trope when it’s done well and this is done beautifully. Kazuma and Ren fall in love as teenagers and are separated before finding one another again as adults. The pacing on this is a little rough, I get what they were doing with the sub-plot but it felt mildly unneeded and time would have been better given to exploring our leads generally or even Ren’s painful family issues. This is still a lovely drama that I wholly recommend. 4/5 (21/2/24)

[kaciidubs]

Get to Know Me - K-Pop Stan Edition

Tagged by; @bethanysnow

Who is your favorite K-pop group?

Stray Kids! Currently these babies are my faves! They've completely swept me off my feet, which I didn't think was possible from how fucking fast it happened, but I've got no complaints~

Which member sparked your interest first?

Believe it or not, but Seungmin was actually the first member who sparked my interest! Specifically Maxident era Seungmin [as I was a Maxident era Stay], he was the one I would look out for the most when I started getting into them as a group. It was the dandy boy effect, what can I say?

Who was your first bias?

Truthfully it was a tie between Seungmin and Chan in the beginning, I loved these two so much I considered myself just double biased with them, but magically one day Chan turned out to be my main bias, and Seungmin lived up to the bias wrecker name [until a wild HyuniBini came along].

Now - Who was your first ever bias?

Mr. President Kim Namjoon, Rap Monster, RM, Joonie of BTS - my first ever bias and husband, I love him more than words can ever describe, him and the rest of the tannies have gotten me through so much back in early 2020 and I'll forever be thankful for them - I honestly can't wait till they come home!

Who is your current bias?

If it wasn't obvious already, Chan - aka Christopher, Chris, Chanstopher, Channie, etc etc - is my current bias! Though, I'd say my full lineup is Chan, Changbin, and Hyunjin - he's my ult out of the tier.

What makes them your bias?

I could list a lot of things, really - talk about how I see some of myself in the parts that he's shown to us - but I don't think I could ever come up with just one singular reason as to why he's my bias. I feel like I can relate to him the most, he's got attributes that I wish I had and because of that it just draws me in more because seeing him excel makes me believe that I could do the same one day. Something just clicks with him and I can't place my finger on it, he's just... there, and my heart's all "Yeah, he's the one."

Who is your bias wrecker?

HyuniBini!! These two are wreckers like no other and I don't know how I manage to survive them but I do! Of course, I love all the members, but these two can snatch me away at any given moment and I'm not mad at it at all.

Which member(s) are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

Yang Jeongin. Yang fucking Jeongin. Ever since he got that split dye with the curls for Rockstar era, I've never been the same - ALSO, him and his honey brown hair now?? The length? The FLUFF? He's a baby bread after my heart and soul.

When did you first discover this group?

Technically I first discovered them on September 24, 2020 [according to my spotify liked playlist] with B Me, but I didn't truly start stanning them until October 11, 2022. To be fair, 2020 was really the year I actually started getting into K-Pop as a whole; I became an Army March 13th, 2020 - without BTS I doubt I would've been a Stay for as long as I have.

Have you ever been to one of their concerts?

Sadly, I haven't, and I had plans to see them this coming Lollapalooza, but things happened and I'm crossing my fingers to be able to see them when they go on tour again.

What are some of your favorite songs by the group?

Mixtape: OH, Neverending Story, Sorry I love you, Any, The Tortoise and the Hare, The Sound, Voices, Novel, Hello Stranger, Behind the Light, Cover me - their whole discography, honestly, but these are the main songs that make me feel like I'm going to a different universe.

Tagging; whoever made it this far and would like to do it! This was really fun~

[tonotbelionized]

Yang’s Mental Health: You Left Us! Why?

Yang Xiao Long, our sunny little dragon, is a character that has a lot of emphasis on her character being that there’s more to her than meets the eye. While she may seem like a carefree, badass boxer with a love for adventure and the unpredictability of it, we as the audience are shown quite early on that she does deal with a lot more beneath the surface.

Even before her amputation and later development of PTSD, we are shown that Yang actually isn’t as happy all the time as she appears to be, and is shown to be deeply affected by the absence of her biological mother; Raven. We’re given a sense that she has trouble actually talking about her problems, even with her sister Ruby or her friends.

So let’s see how deep into her psyche her problems lie, and how the show goes about dealing with these issues that threaten that damper out her fire.

Yang’s Abandonment & Trust Issues

Abandonment and difficulty in trusting people go hand in hand with Yang. It’s not that she has difficulty in growing bonds with people, as we see that she’s open and friendly even to people that she’s never met before, an offset to Blake who’s issues are more trusting people in general.

However, just because Yang can still make bonds with people easily doesn’t mean she expects them to last. It’s explicitly shown in her song regarding her feelings of Blake leaving, All That Matters. She never thought that Blake would always stay with her, because eventually everyone does leave, and the important part of that song is that Yang never asked Blake to commit because of this fear.

Even when she braced herself to what she believed to be an eventuality (everyone she loves leaves her), Yang admits in the song that she never would’ve expected Blake to leave her like she did. When Yang was at her lowest, Blake left without saying a word, and that just cuts her deeper because she was never told why Blake left. It’s the exact same as Raven not giving her a reason for leaving either in Yang’s mind, and to handle with that loss in friendship, Yang falls back on old habits. She clearly shows anger to mask the fact that she’s feeling lost and upset, only letting herself grieve when Ruby’s left the room.

Being abandoned at birth by Raven, and later losing her maternal replacement Summer, at such a young age meant that Yang would have had to rationalise this loss in her own way. Her behaviour both in her later life and from the tidbits we’re given in her conversations with Taiyang can help us see how Yang actually coped with it.

Given that Ruby was old enough to have solid memories of her mother, which doesn’t happen until the child is around five years old, so Yang would’ve been seven at the earliest with Summer’s death. With a child at that age, there are many different ways that they would process the loss, but it would only in limited ways because they are still trying to understand the concept of death overall. The ones that I think apply to Yang the most are:

May conceal their loss

Being irritable, having more tantrums, or developing aggressive behaviour

Looking for the person who’s died

With concealing her loss, we can see Yang doing that exact thing in the actual show. She rarely talks about Raven until she talks to Blake in Volume 2, and it’s implied in her annoyance at actually talking about her with Taiyang in Volume 4 that they weren’t really allowed to talk about this loss before. It’s even worse with Summer Rose, as Yang only talks about her when talking to Blake and in passing comment with Weiss in Volume 5, but both their losses still affect her.but the fact that Blake left so soon and without even saying a word while Yang was at her lowest meant that she 

Her aggressive behaviour is shown even before she developed PTSD. While she’s pretty laid back while fighting, she does quickly jump to violence with her fight in Junior’s bar in her trailer, and that she is quickly prone to angry outbursts at the slightest annoyance. It’s so much part of her character that Cinder takes advantage of it to pit her against Mercury, her previous outbursts with Neon meaning that it’s not hard for the people watching to assume Yang is that violent. 

While Raven didn’t die, her absence is basically the same thing because she isn’t there, and Yang had never seen her until her time in Beacon. Her desire to look for her biological mother pushed Yang to take Ruby and put her in danger when they are attacked by Grimm, and Yang acknowledges herself that her push and want to find Raven almost got her and her little sister killed. This is the only one that Yang seems to have moved on by herself, as she never allows her mission for answers control her life or put people she loves in danger again. 

While it’s not Taiyang’s fault that he fell into a deep depression after that, we do have to acknowledge that he didn’t help Yang through this loss emotionally. Without someone to help her rationalise and develop healthy coping mechanisms to handle her negative emotions, Yang has been left to deal with these problems alone, and that’s led to her doing so the only way she knows how; by simply ignoring them or letting them fester as anger. It’s the same problem I’ve highlighted in my Mentality of Adam post, a child that isn’t given guidance is at danger of becoming lost.

Yang’s PTSD

Before we go into depth about Yang’s PTSD, I would like to mention that there is a difference in PTSD and C-PTSD, or Complex Post-Traumatic Disorder, because that’s the main reason why I don’t connect with some of Yang’s struggles. We both have different forms of this disorder.

The main difference that has to be said is that PTSD is from a singular moment of trauma, like a natural disaster or a single moment of violence. In Yang’s case, her PTSD is caused by her dismemberment by Adam, a singular moment of trauma that continues to haunt her long after the incident has happened. C-PTSD is caused by ongoing cases of extreme violence and stress, such as childhood abuse, leading to victims experiencing particularly intense symptoms.

Moving on, PTSD is one of the central obstacles that Yang has to learn to live with, given that she was very much pushed to the background in terms of development compared to the rest of Team RWBY, at least until her fight with Mercury. At the beginning, we are clearly shown that Yang suffering from multiple symptoms of the disorder; nightmares, flashbacks that trigger panic attacks, insomnia, easily irritable and angered, temporary detachment from Ruby after she lost her arm.

This aspect of her mental state is given a lot of screen time, and Yang is never shown to just get over her fears. Even after trying on her new arm and getting back some of her old self confidence, Yang still shows that she has problems to deal with because of this disorder. She is easily angered whereas before, she could have be in high tense situations without losing her cool that much, especially in Weiss and Blake’s argument in Volume 1 and her talk with Blake in Volume 2. Now, Yang is shown to even snap at her friends when she’s stressed, and her hand shakes as a visual medium to show when she’s starting to get into highly stressful situations.

This even carries on into Volume 6. Her behaviour deteriorates not just because of her PTSD, but also because of the Apathy in the farm, and we see that she still suffers from flashbacks of Adam. When Blake tries to comfort Yang and instead accidentally oversteps her boundaries, Yang is easily offended and brushes Blake off, still showing that easily irritable side that hasn’t quite been dealt with. 

When she finally faces against Adam, she’s obviously in a better space mentally than she was in the beginning of her arc, but that doesn’t mean that her PTSD has now been fixed because you can never fix a mental disorder, you can only manage it. And it shows in their fight. When Adam brings up what he did to her in Beacon, Yang falters, she’s clearly stressed from her hand shaking, but now she’s been taught how to deal with that fear without losing her temper or by buckling under the pressure. As much as I personally deride the hand holding scene with Blake, I will give it credit in that the grounding effect it would have on Yang would help her control that overwhelming sensation PTSD can bring out. 

I continue to hold hope that the writers won’t know push it under the rug just because Adam is dead, given that they’ve treated Yang’s arm as a good replacement without showing how much having a prosthetic affects her, not only mentally but physically as well. PTSD and amputation are not interchangeable. 

Yang as an Unreliable Narrator

There are only a few ways to learn of a character’s backstory and childhood; we either see enough ourselves to put the pieces together, or the character tells someone, and by proxy the audience. This is the same for Yang. While we have only one flashback to show how Yang’s drive to find Raven put her and Ruby in danger, we mostly get the information from Yang herself, but that puts up a serious problem.

Because of the emotional impact the events had on her, Yang has become an unreliable narrator. That’s not to say that she’s completely lying, it’s obvious that Taiyang was severely depressed after losing Summer and Raven, but trauma and mental illness can mean that a person recalls their past in a somewhat tinted way. Not quite completely incorrect, but morphed slightly from the truth.

Yang felt completely alone but we know that Qrow and Taiyang were there for her in terms of helping to raise Ruby and meet Yang’s physical needs, but she has clearly felt that she couldn’t rely on the grown ups in her life for emotional support. Because of this, she has gone to simply burying her feelings on the subject and being there emotionally for Ruby whenever she needed it. A hint at how skewered her perception is, or perhaps the fault of the writers, is what she said to Weiss during their talk.

“My mom left me. Ruby’s mom left too. Tai was always busy with school and Ruby couldn’t even talk yet. I had to pick up the pieces. I had to keep things together. Alone.”

A small mention to the Ruby line. It might be intentional, or a result of the writers keeping the timeline very vague and as such impacting the story, but Ruby would’ve been talking if she was old enough to remember what Summer Rose looked like in that amount of detail. Children start talking when they’re eighteen to twenty-four months old, and Ruby would’ve been older than that. 

The main thing with this quote is how Yang deals with Summer Rose’s death. She puts it in the same frame of mind as Raven leaving, despite the fact that Summer didn’t willingly choose to die. It paints Yang with a severely impacted mental state that she can’t emotionally distinguish between someone willingly abandoning her and someone dying on a mission. As a result, we can’t distinguish enough accurately what actually happened or what is being recalled through Yang’s view.

What she says also goes against what canon established beforehand. We were told that Taiyang was overprotective by Ruby’s shared empathy over Penny’s father being overprotective to her, we know that the two girls have a good relationship with their father through their interactions and their reaction to Tai sending Zwei through the mail. Not only that, but Tai was competent in raising the girls enough that Yang had to wait until he left the house before she could go looking for Raven.

These contradictory statements on Taiyang just shows that Yang is not at a good place emotionally to give the audience a clear picture of what her childhood and her father really were like, and that’s not Yang’s fault. As I said before, she was never taught how to handle these negative emotions properly because Taiyang was struggling with his depression, and because of this tragedy, she’s internalised the grief as well as she could. Unfortunately for Yang, this trauma has morphed her personality but her memories too.

Edit: Also another point that I just had to add on, memory in and of itself is extremely unreliable. Most often we remember how we felt with trauma, not exactly what happened, and that leads to a biased perception on a series of events.

That’s the basis for Yang and her mental state, and given that the main source of her PTSD has been dealt with, we can hopefully see a proper resolution with her dealing with these negative coping mechanisms and become more open about her feelings with her friends. 

Thanks for reading guys, see you all later!