#I really hope the RNG gods will have mercy on me

[frugalkubal]

✨ Good luck post for the new season ✨

[oh-cool-a-burning-sword]

true to my word, I went and tried to summon Arval. Fortunately the rng Gods were merciful and gave them to me pretty early on in my summoning (like after my third or fourth summon). I'm gonna keep summoning tho in hopes that I can get at least one merge.

And like I always do with a character I like, I went to see their dialogue on their character screen and at the castle. I mainly did this because I both wanted to pick out every single crumb of lore I can get my hands on, but I also wanted to see if Arval mentions Shez anywhere.

They do mention Shez, twice actually. A voiced line and at the start of their lv 40 dialogue. The lv 40 convo is just Arval talking about how much the summoner works and saying that 'A certain someone' could learn a thing or two from them. But in the voice line Arval refers to Shez as Irreplaceable so I think that's super sweet! They really do care for their partner in destiny.

However, Arval's lv 40 convo is actually pretty interesting because kinda reveals two things. One being that this is Arval from a post recruit Byleth route (seeing as they mention being killed twice), but this also reveals that this could be both Arval AND Epimenides. Which... isn't too shocking to me after reading all the posts of people's theories about this but it's still neat if it's true.

There's more to Arval's lv 40 dialogue. Such as them seemingly enjoying having a body of their own for once, how they feel their heart ache when they see the summoner work so hard to keep the people of Askr safe. Arval also states that due to being killed twice, their outside of the cycle, or basically a remnant. They, like most other heroes, say that they want to help the summoner build a better future. Though Arval also adds that they want to help build a world that doesn't live in fear of Gods or Devils.

That's not to say that those are the only interesting things I got from Arval's dialogue. In fact if you talk to them at the castle they'll mention something interesting. That they've had friends and compatriots who they fought side by side with, but as none of them really understood them, they always felt alone.

I find this to be both an interesting, yet kind of sad quote from them. Though as it says 'friends and compatriots', I think that this is more Epimenides talking than Arval. Which if that's the case then I guess we got a little more info about Epimenides? Though this line could also apply to Arval and Shez's relationship, mainly if you chose to recruit Byleth but also there's little hints to this throughout the game.

There's also some minor things. Such as Arval needing to get used to having their own body and also getting used to injuries. The fact that they seem to be interested in learning about the summoner's world. Them stating that once upon a time they wanted to save the world (another line we can attribute to Epimenides more than Arval).

Then there's a kinda minor thing that could maybe hint to something in their voiced line 'History will always written by the victors'. I'm not saying that I think this suggests that the Agarthans are 'good' (they committed a genocide and did horrible things to CHILDREN there is no way that their good guys), but it does make me wish that we could have gotten a bit more info about the lore, however through the Agarthans' perspective. We've only been told about Fodlan's history from Rhea but there could be something either she chose to not mention or didn't know about?

Ultimately I'm really glad that they decided to put Arval into Feh as we got a few little bits of info about them and their creator. Which is nice because really, Hopes didn't really give us much. I'm also glad that Arval seems to be enjoying being in Askr + having their own body for once. Part of me does kinda wish that we got Arval's banner before the 3 hopes one, just so that one of the Shezes forging bonds convos could have included them. (Even if the Shezes lv 40 convos suggests that they still have their Arvals)

Who knows, maybe if we get a fallen Shez we'll see Arval interact with them? Would be interesting (as long as it's not the same thing as Lyon and Fallen Lyon's interactions)

[breastforce]

SIMS PACKS RANKED #1: SEASONS

Initially, I was a little hesitant to give this one the #1 spot, mostly due to the fact that this is now the third Seasons pack and dynamic weather should REALLY be a base game feature by now. But dangit, this pack just does so much. It comes to effect all the time whenever you play the game, and manages to make every day in your sim’s virtual life a little bit different than the one before.

In all honesty, I don’t have much to talk about the weather itself. It functions just about the same as you’d expect the weather to, and there aren’t any particularly noteworthy features that haven’t been done before in this franchise. This isn’t to say that it’s bad or doesn’t have a big impact on the game - it absolutely does, I personally just don’t have a lot to gush about the existence of rain in a video game.

So instead I’m going to talk about the other stuff, starting with the Holidays.

Thank GOD you can customize them and create your own holiday. Much like the clubs feature, you can combine a number of various traditions to create a day of festivities, such as a day where the town gets naked and fights one another. I also really appreciate the extra mile they went to add in some new festivities that are clearly meant to help you create real-life holidays, such as lighting a menorah, paying your respects for the dead, or fasting. Your entire sim world is still limited to one set of holidays per save file that applies to everyone, but I’m pretty sure having the option to completely chuck Christmas out the window in favor of having everybody celebrate their own winter holiday instead will make some of you happy.

There really is a number of small little features tucked away into the traditions for you to choose from. There are new NPCs such as Not Santa Claus and the Not Easter Bunny, Sims will come by in costumes if you make a Halloween holiday, you get new grand meals for you to prepare for your family, and you can FINALLY cause your sim’s homes to become infested with irritable garden gnomes, which was an itch that I needed to be scratched ever since the misleading ‘Gnomes’ lot trait was introduced.

Much like real holidays though, your mileage will vary on how much enjoyment you get out of them in practice. The Not Valentines Day holiday that comes with the game and my attempt at replicating. Easter both felt more like a list of arbitrary chores I had to do. Searching for eggs, for instance, is basically looking around the house for clickable objects and in hopes that RNG will have mercy on your poor kid. Like I said earlier though, these are customizable, and whenever a holiday gets annoying you can just remove it. Then you have the ones like Not Thanksgiving, Not Christmas, and New Year’s Eve. These holidays manage to introduce a whole new vibe and I personally have fond memories of each one. Watching my virtual families make a great big meal and then coming together to sing songs such as “Auld Lang Syne”, another new feature, just warms my heart and really adds to the experience of living vicariously through virtual functioning adults.

This isn’t even getting into the other domestic things available in this pack. Gardening has received a number of new tools to help streamline it as well as compensate for now having to take the elements into account. You get a floral arrangement table and also skill for you to then put those flowers to use in decorating your home. You also get bees, which is always a warm welcome to me.

All this really comes together to make the game feel a lot less monotonous in your Sim’s day to day life. The world changes around them as it cycles through each Sim year. Each day is something a little different, whether it be a celebration or the weather creating new opportunities for you or getting in the way of other plans.

My main complaint really only comes down to the fact that dynamic weather should be a base game feature by now. Back in The Sims 2 when they first introduced Seasons, it made sense for it to be an expansion. They hadn’t done anything like that before in The Sims and they probably didn’t want to add yet another ambitious, risky experiment to a base game that was already chock full of them. These days it’s an expectation and the four years that this game spent without seasons really harmed it in my opinion. At the same time, this pack still manages to be the beefiest one thus far, and does enough with its holiday system on top of adding a desperately needed feature that I can’t not give it the top spot.

[edennohebi]

the haze had proven itself to live up to the often applied nickname of hell time & time again; & yet, you had adjusted. you had found a way to exist here, if only by the skin of your teeth. though the serpents were cruel & monstrous, & some of those around you were less than stable -- maybe, just maybe, you could survive & things would go on without too much disturbance.

for that, saeru would laugh & call you an ill-bred fool: a prisoner who had grown far too comfortable in their prison, & needed to be reminded of their place.

it seemed that this would serve as your wake up call to their reality. things had carried on as they usually had in the haze -- up until all of the television sets had begun to flicker alive. previously they had been filled to the brim with nothing more than static: the wash of scrambling grey & the scratching-like noise had been enough fuel to make the ears wary & your sense of intuition slightly unsettled. but it had been nothing more than fuzz, right? it could have been easily ignored; but today, the snakes would not allow such. 

their only use was for that of the snakes & they had never been a good sign. immediate apprehension twists in your core, & your hands feel clammier -- your eyes had no choice: it was not a matter of wanting or not wanting to, the hushed whispers in your ears of the snakes would force you to focus on it until they decided you could stop. every passing second in this never-moving world was torturous, but soon, the screen would twist & shift into focus. however, it was not one of the lesser snakes who appeared on the screen, but the queen & 'king' themselves seated upon their respective thrones.

though neutral in demeanor at first, once the camera locks onto clearing eyes himself his expression tears into a grin: whatever hope that had sat in your heart would soon be torn to shreds.

“my my -- what a magnificent sight to behold ! nothing pleases me more than to see you all stricken with such lost & hopeless expressions: like meager lambs, led along to their untimely massacre. ” he breathes a chuckle, & a sickening tremble teeters into his words -- ‘enjoying it’ was an understatement. “ wonderful, wonderful ! ”

he hums to himself, lids lowered coquettishly. “ of course, your curiosity must be maddening, hm? how you must be starving for answers -- wondering to yourselves, 'what’s this all about?', or perhaps, 'is this the end?' aahh -- please, do continue on with your endless queries ! after all, only i can grant you the knowledge you so seek. you have wandered into a garden, & i shall bestow-- ”

from the background, a voice belonging to none other than the jackal rings higher than saeru’s, excited & growing louder, much to his displeasure. ‘ papa! i wanna do it -- i wanna do it!!! ’ 

before she can be denied, the camera angle is pulled, &. the demonic canine now stares directly into the lens.

‘ what papa was saying is that things are going to really start picking up! everybody seemed to be getting kinda relaxed about the idea of dying, & i guess it’s because you all got used to the idea that mama could just bring you back, all nice & pretty, right? unfortunately for you, that’s starting to get a little annoying, now, so it won’t be happening anymore. you stupid humans shouldn’t forget that even though mama was gracious enough to give, she can just as easily take away. since all of you seem to need a lesson, in it, consider this chapter one! ’

‘ because everyone is just fine with losing their lives all the time, every one of you is going to start losing your senses, too -- some of you won’t be able to see in front of you, or hear who’s approaching from behind. some of you won’t be able to feel it when someone touches you, or have the pleasure of smelling or tasting your next meal. for some of you, that might be easier, & you can live without it. for someone else, though, maybe they’ll be bothered enough that they’ll finally kill someone on their own terms & stop waiting for it to be something as small as a dare? ’

‘ either way, it’s going to get worse the longer you make us wait for someone to kill somebody else, & if you keep doing it in those little games to make sure mama can bring you back, maybe she’ll just stop making everything work right, on your body? i sure hope you’ll be okay trying to run away from your next killer with a clubbed foot, or hold a weapon with fingers that won’t close around the hilt! ’

‘ & for the first person who doesn’t keep us waiting, if you’d like to stir up the pot some more, & make everyone really hate & fear you, we wanna offer a little reward. if you really want to get back to your happy little lives, or to your friends & families, make it a point to come straight to us, so we can go ahead & let everyone know who decided they couldn’t take it, anymore! ’

‘ kekeke..that said, you should probably hurry. someone else might have the same ideas as you, now, & that just means the clock is ticking. ’

before the jackal can continue on further with her rambling, a hand is quick to grab a fistful of her shirt. off the ground she goes, akin to a cat picked up by it’s scruff, & is soon deposited into the queen’s lap with a hiss of "children should only speak when told to, brat."

‘ ppft ... ’

there’s a distinct click of the tongue as clearing eyes comes back into view, expression marginally soured. but he’ll continue: such is his job.

“ what a tragedy, ” there’s a false lament in his tone, uncaring entirely, “ for you to have been fed false information. the child only speaks in half-truths: error laces itself so easily into the words of the unknowing & the idiotic. you see, to assume her Majesty holds any mercy for your pitiful lives at all is rather bold -- stupidly so. gorge yourself on the rush of blood lust & adrenaline if you so wish. it’s quite the spectacle, but ah -- do not expect things to continue on as they had. ”

a hint of a smirk plays on his lips.

“ after all, you had killed so ruthlessly with security, had you not? the assurance that death here was not permanent, that your fates lied at the Queen’s fingertips, & so long as someone died, they would return. ” a snorted ‘how stupid’ follows suit, “ it would be no fun at all, right? imagine: suffering the consequences for your actions & facing the throes of guilt! ”

he laughs.

“ imagination is a useless thing. a pitiful realm of fantasy holds no weight here; instead, you must face your reality. allow me to explain: if you are harmed, our hands will no longer heal. survival is something you must fight tooth & nail for: not something simply handed over. further more, if you are to kill, i advise you be aware of the consequences. prophets once spoke of a belief -- ‘an eye for an eye’, was it? those who kill unashamedly before a crowd will be killed in return -- by my hand. understand?  ”

“ ah, & one more thing. i'm sure none of you wish to be without your most valued of senses. animals who are crippled, after all, are nothing more than easy prey. " he hums. " if you desire them once more, then you must commit murder: & get away with it effortlessly. pure & simple. if you cover your tracks, then you shall be guided towards the gates of freedom: but if you are to fail, then you must pay for your foolishness & mistakes as aforementioned. but the risk is well worth a chance of livelihood again," his head tilts, eyes narrowing in tease. " isn't it? ”

he sits back, though his hand seems to stay within immediate eye-shot. the Queen & Ellen are within view, too: though the Queen’s gaze is fixated upon the screen, her hand runs idly through ellen’s hair, perhaps in pacification. even so, all of their smiles hint at sadism, & the unison in their ‘farewell’ fails to bode well. a moment passes, & the screen becomes void of their image; only leaving you with your thoughts & the mind numbing sound of static on the televisions once more. they have thrown you to the dogs, & now they will serve as spectators in your suffering.

                          WELCOME TO THE NEXT TRAGEDY                                                                   ( The Story of Eyes Rendered Sightless )

UPDATES :

✘ welcome to the first chapter! this one is considerably longer than all the future ones to both get players used to the format and accommodate for upcoming holidays.  ✘ as allured to, characters will lose one of their five senses as result of the queen’s power. we've used RNG to decide what muses lose what sense, and you can find that under the READ MORE below. please note that these senses will be returned once someone is killed and a body drop post is made . ✘ for reference, characters who lost SIGHT are completely blind and extremely vulnerable as potential victims, characters who lost TASTE have a constant taste of lead in their mouth that will not go away as they cannot taste other flavors, characters who lost TOUCH are completely numb and can not feel ANYTHING -- including pain, characters who lost their HEARING are completely deaf and easy to sneak up on, and characters who lost their SMELL just simply cannot take in any aromas. there is a sixth handicap, but such is reserved for the Old Master as you’ll see below. if FOR SOME REASON your muse’s name is not in the list, let a mod know and we’ll add it. ✘ this ALSO means that WE ARE NOW ACCEPTING MURDERER / VICTIM VOLUNTEERS . please message a mod or send an ask if you wish to volunteer, and do not tell ANYONE if you did and whether you were or were not accepted. ✘ you may no longer kill each other in games of truth or dare, kings game, etc. if you do, the murderer WILL be killed by saeru. you MAY injure each other to your heart’s content without punishment, however, but if you go too far and someone dies, your muse will be held accountable. ✘ further, wounds attained from truth or dare will NO LONGER BE HEALED. you may only buy a medkit or hope to god you get medical supplies from the raffle, otherwise you’re on your own.

Shintaro Kisaragi | TOUCH

Toko Fukawa | SMELL

Hiyori “Ice Queen” Asahina | HEARING

Hiyori “Hiyo” Asahina | SIGHT

Samael | SMELL

Tsubomi Kido | SIGHT

Shuuya Kano | SMELL

Elodie Masters | SIGHT

Satou Matsuzaka | TOUCH

Marry Kozakura |  THE ABILITY TO SPEAK

Katherine Baker | HEARING

Henry "Stein" Dobbs | SMELL

Ayano “Charlatan” Tateyama | SIGHT

Kousuke "Amata" Seto | HEARING

Haruka "Pompompurin" Kokonose | TASTE

Vincent Nightray | TOUCH

Ayano “Aya-nee” Tateyama | SMELL

Korekiyo Shinguji | TOUCH

Magdalena Parks | HEARING

Meredith Dacosta | TOUCH

Rachel Devore | SMELL

Uta | TASTE

Rantaro “Ran” Amami | HEARING

Momo Kisaragi | TOUCH

Hisashi "Usagi" Yoshida | SIGHT

Tempo | SMELL

Rosaline Viviani  | TOUCH

Ayano "Nee-Nee"Tateyama | SMELL

Azami | THE ABILITY TO SPEAK

Tsukihiko Kozakura | SIGHT

Shion Kozakura | HEARING

Tomoyo Daidouji | SIGHT

Valentine Damis | TOUCH

Kousuke “Kose” Seto | SIGHT

Momoka Oginome | HEARING

Satou’s Aunt | SMELL

Kitaumekawa Daichi | TOUCH

Charlotte Wiltshire | TOUCH

Kurogane | HEARING

Yue | SIGHT

Touma Kozakura | HEARING

Rin Kido | SIGHT

Garven | HEARING

Frisk | SMELL

Renji Yomo | TASTE

Ian Ortega | SIGHT

[askshalvanic]

Yume Nikki rant/thoughts

Ahh, Yume Nikki, one of the most renowned RPG games in history. While certainly not as nearly as popular as Undertale, it does have its spot within the RPG community, and some people like the game, hell, there’s some who find it inspirational or even life changing. Now, the problem is… I don’t really share this opinion or thoughts on it. In fact I don’t like the game very much. I didn’t really enjoy it, and to be honest, I immediately uninstalled it and wanted to forget about it the moment I was done playing it. The reason for this was that it was mostly a negative experience. I did have a few moments that I enjoyed here and there, so it wasn’t all that negative, but about 80% or so of it did make me think “can’t wait for this piece of shit to be over”. Now, I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but I really, REALLY don’t like Yume Nikki.

I may draw some comparisons to Bioshock Infinite in the sense that this masterpiece of a game that almost everyone and their grandmother consider worthy of a TEN OUT OF FUCKING TEN doesn’t really bode well with me either (I say this mostly because I feel that I’m in the minority when it comes to the people that have played this game and not loved it), and I honestly consider these two the games that I am not willing to play ever again in my life. But this ain’t about Biocunt Integrate, it’s about the dreadful world of Yume Nikki.

Also, I guess as a fair warning, SPOILERS AHEAD IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED IT. This was more than anything meant to be a self reflection on what I thought was wrong with the game, and thus ended up mentioning a lot of spoilers, so if you want to play it blindly, go ahead before reading this, you might take a while though.

I’ll start with the things that personally I liked or made me have some form of respect for the game because it’s easier to list those reasons given there are very few positives, and because I want to get that out of the way first. I guess the positives would be that I liked the atmosphere the game had. It was unnerving, and scarier than most games that claim themselves to be horror games and only rely on cheap and predictable jumpscares and nothing else. And Yume Nikki literally just has some fucking sprites and dark rooms, and yet it’s one of the most disturbing and honestly creepy things I’ve seen. The soundtrack’s just a bunch of looped sounds that doesn’t last too long, but it still adds something to the feel of each world that makes it different from the others. The world designs too are amazing (except for Hell) and each of them looks interesting in their own way. The fact that each effect had its own little details whenever you used them was also pretty cool. The lack of a conventional way to tell a story and just leaving things for you to interpret was an interesting choice from the dev, and the fact that Gast- I mean, Uboa, which is one of the most interesting things about the game isn’t central to the story or you don’t even have to see it to beat the game is actually really cool. Overall I guess it is safe to say it is a pretty unique and well thought out game in general, and I respect it from an artistic point of view.

Now, for the obviously much bigger list of negatives. See, my first problem with the game is how overly complex some things in it are. Several of the events are RNG based, so you basically have to get lucky for some of the most intriguing or interesting moments in the game. Then there’s also the fact that not only events, which are completely optional so there’s not too much of a problem, but also one of the fucking effects that you need to get is tied to an RNG, meaning that you better get lucky and get it at the first try because otherwise it’s gonna be waking up, going to hell, go through the previous world before that one and then get to the actual world again, hoping you get the right one this time. I get it for events that you don’t even need to see to finish the game, BUT FOR ONE OF THE STEPS TO GET TO AN EFFECT TO BE RNG? I sincerely find that pretty bullshit and unnecessary. But that’s a minor issue I had.

The bigger issues are more or less tied to the existence of Hell itself. I mean, it does justice to its name, its a fucking torture to go through it, not only because if you take the wrong turn at any point or don’t have any reference of where you are going or are constantly looking at a fucking map you WILL get lost, but also because it’s so stupidly bright red that after a while of being there your eyes will scream for mercy, and you will more than likely spend a long time in that place, if not because you got lost, then because you essentially need to go through it more than once if you want to actually beat the game. Some people may think it adds to feeling of adventure and danger and excitement, but I simply find it annoying and a nuisance. Essentially, this game isn’t for overly impatient people. You complain about loading screens? Boy, get ready to meet HELL. Admittedly, you do get to do a lot more during the travel from point A to hell to point B, and there is danger there, but I would rather sit through a few moments of a loading screen than have to deal with the bright as the sun red tone in the background designed to either drive you insane or to completely fuck up your eyes, and once you get the stop light effect, the toriningen becomes kind of irrelevant at the price of walking at a normal pace. It can be fixed by just looking at a map but even then it’s still an eye sore and even with the map you can get lost, which happened to me a lot, and the fact that you NEED to go through hell in order to get to other worlds for their respective effects makes it all the more annoying and sigh inducing whenever you see the multi-shaped little shit portal that takes you there.

Another major issue is perhaps the fact that if it wasn’t because a wiki exists or because I had help through most of the game, I would have never figured out where to even get the effects, which ones I was missing, how did they look like or how to get to neat little events that were honestly quite interesting and well made. I know that’s what some people might find charming or the whole point of the game really, to find it out by yourself, but to be honest I would have given up eventually after being unable to find any more stuff because it is all so hidden. I can appreciate when a game goes out of its way to be mysterious, when there’s stuff to find, when it is challenging, but honestly, most of the stuff in this game is far too convoluted for me to give it a pass on that. Aside from the instructions, you are pretty much on your own and therefore entirely fucked. Hell, I would have thought the minigame with the console was somehow important or it would give me something interesting at the end, but reading “nah it’s just a jumpscare” made me realize a lot of this game would be confusing or I’d believe something would be important when really its not. And having somewhat of a trolly person as your guide doesn’t help much either.

Speaking of which, my guide and friend also took part in what makes me not want to play or hear anything about this game ever again. Because of the way he hyped up the ending, even when I started to hate the game a part of me thought “the ending will probably be worth it” to keep going on. The ending, do it for the ending. I’ll talk about the ending later, but needless to say that part of me was wrong, and the ending was somewhat overhyped  him. This was a minor inconvenience however when compared to the one thing that even made me stop mid stream and say “I’m done” and then close the game out of the blue. The god damn insistence on me having to play the game one way, as opposed to how I want to play it. Yes, I might have missed some events that were interesting, but given the fact that he tends to trick me into thinking something when really something else is going on already had me mistrust his guidance to a certain degree, and had me looking up shit on my own to confirm if he was saying the truth. I honestly felt after a while that I was being forced to do things one way instead of doing them by myself and the way I wanted to do it, that is why it was more of a chore than a game, I felt like I was doing some sort of homework that I had to finish at some point, I felt obligated to do it and that made me hate more than anything, the fact that I felt like I HAD to finish it as opposed to wanting to finish it. Feeling forced to do something makes you not want to do it, especially when someone keeps banging over your head “DO IT THIS WAY, DO THIS BECAUSE YES EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT IMPORTANT, DO IT MY WAY NOT YOURS” was a tad overwhelming and made me feel like I was being manipulated and like I needed to do it one single way. Feeling like that sincerely made me want to rush to game, to be done with it, to not have anything to do with it again, and so I did. I started regarding it less like a cool but fucked up game and more like one fucked up homework that I had to do because I had no choice in the matter (sorry if you see this, but you did influence my views in this game a lot).

And this takes me to my final point as to why I dislike this game so much, and this is where I start comparing it to Biodrug Ultimate and its the ending. See, both games have this feeling to me that for some reason if you miss anything or if you don’t do something in specific you will get a bad ending out of however many there could be, because being games that look so creative and unique they probably have more than one ending, right? Well, that is a lie for both of them, but unlike Bioterrorist Influence I didn’t have my expectations high for Yume Nikki. I was already expecting the worst, without much hope for anything because I had Hyoko to tell me at least that there was one and only one ending. And even then the ending still fucked me up, because I didn’t know what, out of all the horrible things that could happen, to expect. And while it was leagues better than the shit show Biodunked Ontimate had to offer for one of the most disappointing endings I’ve ever seen, it doesn’t make it any less depressing or empty. By the time I had finished the game I felt like absolutely nothing that I had done was worth it, like the journey to get here had been void and meaningless. This wasn’t disappointing because I was already expecting nothing from the start, but it did upset me because I had learned nothing and I left with nothing but a bitter taste. Yes some events were pretty cool, same with most of the worlds, it was an interesting concept of visiting a girl’s consciousness through her dreams, and since most dreams tend to be fucked up it would make sense for hers to be pretty bizarre as well. But what was about the effects and about her dreams that drove her to suicide? What did she feel like after exploring all over her own mind and dreams that would make her do that? Why? WHY?! To top it off, I actually felt like it was me the one that drove her to it. Digging so far deep into her consciousness that she felt the only way to deal with her problems was to end with her own life, and that I was the one that pushed her off. I don’t care that she doesn’t actually exist, I don’t care that this all a videogame that I ended up hating, it’s still all so fucked up and it feels awful that with the press of one key I was the one that made her jump into the abyss, never to return again or dream again. I felt empty, sad, upset, thinking about why did things have to turn this way. I hesitated for a while to even make her go up those stairs, but I feel like in the end my own desire to be done with it all, to close the loop, to never come back to this game again made me do it, because I know this is a game, I know many others before me and many more after will press that key to send Madotsuki crashing against the pavement down below, but that doesn’t make it any less horrifying or fucked up that I sent a little girl to her own death. I never did the Genocide Route in Undertale because I felt that after having establishing a bond with such lovable and interesting characters I’d be guilty of not only betraying their trust for my own amusement but that I would also take away that feeling of uniqueness and of having such well thought out and caring characters that sincerely made me cry at the end of the Pacifist Route and turning it all into dust, into void, only to get to that one boss battle that everyone keeps praising and that turned Sans into the actual joke that he’s become now within the Undertale Fandom. But that is a rant for another day. The point is, I didn’t do it because to me Undertale is much more than just an RPG, more than just a game, it meant a lot to me and I cared deeply about the characters, to the point of not wanting to murder them, even though I know its a game and it won’t matter either way in the real world, I feel like not caring would make me even more of a twat, and even though I didn’t enjoy Yume Nikki, that still doesn’t mean I wanted Madotsuki to die. Even when I sent her forward I had hoped for there to be something that saved her or for her to actually not jump out of the balcony even if I told her to. Fuck me for having nice thoughts I guess. Oh I also did make the choice to be a nice Madotsuki that didn’t murder anything even though my friend was insisting that I should be the exact opposite of that but whatever.

In the end, I guess the bad things do overweight the good things for me as far as this game goes, and I still feel this sense of emptiness when I think about it. If there is a message, I am unclear about what it is. The world of dreams is incomprehensible? If you dig too far into your unconscious you won’t like what you’ll find out? No matter what you do the outcome of things is inevitable? That death is the true ending for everything? Life and dreams are meaningless? The more I think about it the more it feels like I’m straying away from whatever meaning there is because it all felt so pointless and just not worth it that I can’t find a meaning to all of it. Like, what was the point of driving Madotsuki to suicide? What was the whole point of gathering the effects if she was going to end up dead anyway? Would anything have changed if I hadn’t looked for the things? Nothing changes no matter what you do in the game, so then what does it matter? Did it happen because she was on a quest to find herself and who she is within these dreams and was unable to find it so she then killed herself? I just don’t really know what the point of it all is, and this is exactly my problem with Bioshock 3: The Electric Boogaloo too, after all I did, and all I went through it seems as if thought it was pointless, like I shouldn’t even have bothered if I wasn’t going to be able to change anything for better or for worse.

[kideraxpride]

Top 12 Disappointing/Worst Games In my Opinion (as of 3/25/17)

The middle two deserve it, but Zestiria more so. I loathe Zestiria. From it's shitty storytelling to it's battle system, to it's world mechanics to it's characterization/treatment of characters. I'm not going to go into it. I've already wrote 6000 words on it. I'll play Legendia before I touch Zestiria. VIII is like a watered version of Zestiria. It's bad, but at least you CAN play it and understand what's going on. The characters and story were great, but that level/stat mechanic is utter garbage. Worst game I've played in the series. However, at least it's understandable and not convoluted like Zestiria's. MMBN4 is... this game is a trainwreck. MANDATORY THREE PLAYTHROUGHS HANDS DOWN, NO MATTER WHAT IF YOU WANT TO GET ALL THE SOULS. Not to mention if you screwed up and didn't get all the chips from Viruses? Guess what? You're forced to deal with RNG to start filling in those gaps. It is the most INFURIATING FUCKING THING ON EARTH AND A TERRIBLE DESIGN. Luckily, they fixed it in BN5, which... would've went up here, but I'm just remembering the terrible times with BN4 and it makes me wanna chuck my GBA at a wall. Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm? Whew lad, fuck everything about these games. I loathe them. Ultimate Ninja was the pinnacle, it's the greatest, and I don't care what you say. Sure, UNS has a fuckton of characters.... so? You could've done the same for UN. UN's fighting was fast and fluid. UNS is a sloppy fucking mess filled with assists and ridiculous fucking camera problems where I don't even know what the fuck is happening. Mario Kart 8... I want to like this game, but it's just... no. Wii may have had the issues with everyone picking Funky Kong/Flame Runner/Spear, but MK8 can suffer from the same shit, but it's WORSE because of the less competitive playstyle that's invoked. Also why the actual fuck can you not use a Gamecube controller? Zero Gravity is ass. This game was a total step in the wrong direction (and it gets worse with Free Riders, but lemme stop you there, I didn't even touch that game). The game's controls make it fucking atrocious to play, and I find myself fumbling over things I can do than actual racing. Sonic Riders (it's predecessor) was far better. Dawn of the New World is a special case... We all wanted a Symphonia sequel... and we got it, but it just... why the hell is this game Pokemon with Tales Characters? The fact they ruin the old cast also makes no sense, why the hell do they cap at level 50? THAT MAKES THEM WORTHLESS ON HIGHER DIFFICULTIES. I'm not even going to talk about Re:Coded. Nomura must really fucking like KH1, considering he's made us play through the game THREE DAMN TIMES. The game is an unnecessary fucking mess. PSA:BR is... good god, this game is a fucking nightmare. From DAY FUCKING ONE, it's been either riddled with glitches or just ridiculous things (Kratos normal combo plus on block?!). It's FUN, don't get me wrong, but taking this game seriously is a quick way to have a heart attack. But they never solved the problems with it. The game was defensive and campy by nature due to the super system; it was a wait and punish game, which is fucking stupid. Soul Calibur IV is something I pretend doesn't exist. V too. This series stopped at III for me. It's just pretending to be something it's NOT, which is bad. If I wanted to play a game with super meter management, I'd PLAY one of those. Stop trying to shoehorn in mechanics... ESPECIALLY when it's not necessary!

Mario Party 9 does another 'this is good, but let's change it anyways' and makes it worse. There was nothing wrong with the way Mario Party was played before all of this, but they made it so now everyone is in the same vehicle and it's just unbearably unfun. To be at the mercy of your three teammates makes the game go from even more random to WORSE than random. It throws all strategy out of the window, since it's impossible to plan around your opponent's choices (you just gotta hope for the best... or if you're playing with a human, start negotiating). Imagine finding a series where the games aren't in order by how they're numbered. You play the games in their chronological order, and by the time you get to the last one in the series, the controls are a stiff mess and handle like that car you bought for 300 from the crackhead down the street who somehow convinced you bricks are good tires. That's Devil May Cry 2. This game plays like ABSOLUTE SHIT. Like holy fuck, DMC3 was a prequel, I get it, and it's when Dante was younger and more free, but god damn, you're telling me he didn't retain ANY OF THAT? (It's obviously because they didn't plan that far ahead....)