#I really have the hardest time connecting my characters to anything I've seen or read

[meraki-yao]

I wanted to get your point of view on an issue. I've just been reading you, but your answers are always precise and intelligent, so I'll proceed! I'm not someone who likes to compare different works, or who gets stuck in one thing while denying the rest or what a biased part... but let's face it: the TIOY will probably only be saved due to Nicholas' singing performances. The plot is really obvious and banal (and I won't go into comparisons with Harry Styles because it's a real minefield) and honestly I haven't even seen this incredible chemistry with Anne (which was missing from the RWRB trailer immediately outside). I'll get to the point: I noticed that the two times Nicholas talked about the

project (the last one just the other evening) he seemed not totally at ease, contracted, not enthusiastic in short. The narrative of calling on his co-star Annie to show off the chemistry (I remember he didn't answer the famous question promptly, but said "I should probably say her") is obviously a PR move so I expect them to try to make pass it all off as something it isn't. So I think he is aware of the mediocrity of the product. I also found him cold for M&G but in that case it was clear that the matter had involved him anyway. I won't say anything about rwrb because his eyes speak for themselves. What do you think of all this? Thanks for the reply ❤️

Firstly thank you for the compliment, that's very kind of you 💕

I don't think it would be fair to judge TIOY so soon since the trailer's barely been out for a week, but I will say my own opinion on the project first:

I haven't read the book, frankly I don't have access to it, but while I don't hold any really negative thoughts regarding the premise, it isn't ... that exciting to me? Like it sounds fun, but I've read a fair amount of fics across fandoms with the same/similar premise. Plus from my Chinese celebrity experience, it kind of feels like it's feeding into the "dreamgirl" mindset which I feel iffy about

I also don't see the "incredibly chemistry"with Anne, it's better than what I saw in Cinderella with Camila (that was really freaking felt like besties) and it's there, but it's not what I felt with rwrb (then again I'm not sure how objective I am) but then again, we only have the trailer, so we'll have to wait and see to make a fair judgement

I actually got an ask about Nick answering the chemistry question that I haven't gotten around answering (I've gotten a lot, and I mean a lot of asks these couple of days and I'm also a full time student 😅) so I'll probably answer this point in more detail in that ask, but basically while I don't know it's a complete lie and he did have some genuine connection with Anne, it might be slightly exaggerated because of promo/PR reasons.

Forgive me, but I don't really look too much into how they talk about their work unless it's blatantly obvious, so I won't comment on what you said about him being tenser.

As for M&G:

I don't think Nick's acting cold when it comes to M&G, but also please keep in mind that M&G is something VASTLY different to any of his previous projects.

I actually have thoughts on what M&G means to Nick: it was a really, really hard job, arguably his hardest to date, but he's happy with what came out and has a sense of satisfaction from the work done: Nick often describes the process of shooting M&G as "gruelling", and he got hurt a lot, A LOT on that set. Also a lot was demanded from him in that role: (mild spoilers for M&G till *) a complex character who's recognizable from who he was in the first episode, sleeping with a lot of people, fencing, dancing, speaking French, horse riding, falling off a horse and deliberately running into a tree, filming in a flaming forest, etc. It was a lot, and a job like this doesn't come with entirely happy memories. Like I do believe the cast and crew were great, and Nick made really good friends, but just what entailed definitely took a lot out of him. So I think he's happy with the final product, but if you have him summarize the project, I think he'd say something along "learned a lot", "fulfilling" rather than something like "a joy", what he used for rwrb. So Nick might have a little more complicated feelings towards M&G, but I really don't think it's entirely negative.

But rwrb is something entirely different. It arguably gained the most traction and caused one of the biggest positive changes in his career, and there's also a bunch of personal, private connections and emotions there that we don't know about. So while M&G is a roller coaster, RWRB is a mostly happy experience.

Althought disclaimer, all of the above if my observation from what Nick has said, posted or done, and my own understanding of it. I do not or cannot actually speak for Nick.

I hope this helps? I think I might have gone off a tangent (I'm answering this while taking notes in a law lecture, fuck yeah multitasking 😅) so let me know if I missed something

[windcarvedlyre]

Ooo I should clarify my current thoughts on visions; I have specific thoughts on many of them. Disclaimer that I... still haven't played any Natlan content, and have been blacklisting spoilers, so if Natlan's revealed anything contradicting the below I haven't seen it. Since there's clearly something off about the system I don't expect the full truth until laate late game though.

In general, we still don't know the specific logic of how elements are assigned but I'm guessing it's some blend of the person's ambitions/biggest drives/fundamental nature aligning with that archon more than others?

'Anemo is the trauma/dead friend element' memes exist for a reason. Like Venti, anemo vision holders have some sort of loss/disruption of status quo/etc in their past and strive for a better future. For most it's pretty obvious, but even Jean had her separation from Barbara as an important part of her backstory. Selflessness to sometimes pathological degrees seems to be a recurring thing too- even Wanderer, whose quest to become a god seemed like the most selfish thing in the world, was kind of self-destructively letting Dottore reduce him to a guinea pig. That goal wasn't truly his. Either way, the past-future thing also fits how anemo has strong ties to time.

Agreed wrt hydro having a role-you-play vs who-you-actually-are dichotomy! I'd just argue a theme of justice- characters having a strong sense of right and wrong and striving to uphold that- is also an aspect of it. Furina performing as an archon to prevent Fontaine's unjust execution, Neuvi's... everything, Barbara being steadfast in showing care to even people trying to exploit and mislead her because she thinks it's right, Xingqiu having a triple life which includes being a swordfighting hero... etc etc.

I think cryo indeed has a theme of an internal contradiction; characters can feel split between two worlds, not feeling like they belong in either. Kaeya's caught between Mond and Khaenri'ah, Ganyu between the human world and adepti, etc etc. And we've heard the cryo archon has love as a theme, so that's probably a theme for vision holders too- like the cryo archon, perhaps it is/was a big driver? Characters like Kaeya and Wrio and Diona care about people more than they seem on the surface.

I'm pretty unspecific about pyro too, maybe Natlan will help. I've been approaching it as unextinguishable passion: characters who have a goal and, even more so than other elements, keep getting up and relentlessly pursuing it regardless of what you throw their way. Diluc didn't even let being apart from his vision stop him from rampaging against the Fatui, Bennett stays upbeat and active even though some sort of bad luck curse makes his life hell, etc etc. I don't have any opinions on the creativity bit/what else pyro could have as themes atm.

For geo I'm thinking... stability and endurance? So the unchanging devotion you mentioned, but instead of insurmountable goals I get the vibe of upholding something continuously. Zhongli for Liyue, Noelle being the most dedicated knight even before she's been let in (vs Jean secretly yearning for a love life), Itto for his family, Navia for Poisson, etc etc. It's the opposite of anemo and anemo's all about adapting to and aspiring for change and having a strong time component to their narrative, while geo characters feel much more steady and constant.

Dendro really is hard. I get two main vibes: a theme of wisdom/striving to understand things and a theme of something like... connections with others? Acting for the collective good? (Nahida voice) Everyone hold hands! Even Alhaitham appears self-centered but has done very selfless things when he deems it necessary, and his vision story describes him reading a book passage about the greater good for humanity before spontaneously getting it.

Electro is the hardest for me; I ended up retyping this because I shifted my thoughts even now. I'm thinking... single-minded pursuit of an ideal or cause to the point of self-imposed alienation from others? Achieving extremes/pursuing perfection more than other elements?? Keqing's always been dedicated to and vocal about her political cause, Lisa was highly ambitious and focused until she got cold feet and pulled away to Mondstadt, Razor is fiercely protective of his lupical and is very isolated from human society, Fischl is extremely dedicated to her LARP to the point it must be socially detrimental, Clorinde carries out justice even when others will hate her for it, etc etc. I add the perfection/extremes bit since going through great tests of their skill seems to be a recurring thing in electro vision-holder lore. Beidou is healthier socially than p much everyone else of her element but she's a one-woman army.

So that's where I'm coming from for each element! Now I want to go through DR characters more thoroughly. For some characters you mentioned that I haven't, though:

Fukawa and Syo: honestly I'd give them cryo! They clearly have... a thing... about love that frequently motivates their actions, and you can't get more 'internal contradiction' than having DID. If they had different elements individually I'd give Fukawa cryo and Syo pyro, maybe (and that's a fun contrast).

God yeah, Sayaka and Tsumugi would be so hydro. I can see Ishimaru too!

You're so right about Tsumiki, she'd totally be cryo. I see the vibes for Saionji too. For Oogami... I think I see her more as a geo character who's just been forced to be deceitful during DR's plot?

I definitely see what you mean wrt Naegi, though I still see him as getting an anemo vision instead. My interpretation of the element aligns hard with DR's idea of hope vs despair.

I can def see geo Togami. Might lean a little more towards electro rn, but both work.

Same for Nidai, though his backstory is still very anemo to me.

Imposter as geo ooooo. I see it, they're always trying to be a rock for the people around them. It's ironic that someone defined by identity instability could have that work for them. That made me wonder if anemo could fit them too, but they ultimately seemed to want stability.

I think Chihiro would be dendro for similar reasons to Nanami! That would work even better with the 'he gets a vision soon before dying' idea; that's so tragic, I love it. Geo Oowada, though?? Or maybe Cryo...

I think Celeste would be hard electro; she's almost Fischl-like in her pursuit of a selfish, fantastical goal to the point cash was a suitable murder motive for her, even changing her identity for it.

Left out some v3 characters you mentioned because I don't think I know them well enough to say. But god this is fun to speculate about.

Toujo and Mukuro definitely feel electro to me too.

EDIT: Anemo Kirigiri is a really good idea actually, dang.

Soooo, what genshin visions do you think DR characters would have? Especially the DR2 cast?

Some current thoughts:

Hinata would be visionless for obvious reasons, while Kamukura feels electro-coded but would probably have some ridiculous artificial vision (maybe a delusion) that can control everything. Postgame Hinata therefore has it too, or maybe it would be upgraded to a genuine vision that causes no problems when used.

Komaeda is EXTREMELY anemo. He'd out-anemo the anemo archon. Someone give this man the gnosis.

Relatedly, Naegi starts visionless but gains an anemo vision in ch6/whatever the narrative equivalent would be in an au.

(DR2) Nanami could be hydro; the element seems to have themes of performing a role and having a strong sense of morality. I could also see dendro thematically (something something cooperation for the greater good as one of its vibes??) and it has computery aesthetics. Actually the more I think about it the more I'm seeing the latter more.

Sonia's definitely hydro for the same reasons; she'd look amazing with some graceful flowy hydro burst. Imposter could be hydro too.

Owari's very pyro. Nidai could be too, but you could also argue for anemo based on his backstory.

My first Saionji thought was electro, but maybe she could be geo because of the way she upholds tradition through her talent. For some reason geo + Saionji's personality is really funny to me. Koizumi is dendro.

Cryo Kirigiri? Something something internal conflict over her familial love.

Kokichi is also cryo and will aggressively pretend love isn't a big theme for the cryo archon whenever it's brought up. It's the element of being a supreme leader, just LOOK at the Fatui??? Then again, maybe hydro fits him really well too because it's about performativity + he has a strong moral code internally?? @ kokichiheads what do you think

[thefreelanceangel]

Tagged: Three Characters

I admit right off the bat that I absolutely suck at this game. I only ever see parallels between my characters and others long after the fact. So... This is gonna be sparse. 

The Purpose: Name three characters similar to yours. {Or at least ones that share strong personality traits.}

Annalei d’Latu:

Dona Elena Atima: The originator of all my “vicious, power-hungry ladder-climbers” character is my Dark Ages Lasombra. Elena went through seven husbands, over two thousand years of surviving in the Sabbat and attained a level of near godlike power. (Methuselah, in game terms.) She’s also insanely obsessive, cannot bear to have control taken out of her hands about anything and wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone if it meant furthering her plans. 

Azhrarn, Night’s Master: The titular character from Tanith Lee’s “Night’s Master” has quite a few traits I associate with Anna. Perhaps the most telling is the quote I love so very dearly for her.

“And I will love you; for such as I am, I do not give my love lightly, but once given it is sure. Only remember this, if ever you make an enemy of me, your life shall be as dust or sand in the wind.”

Cersei Lannister: I could go into a very lengthy breakdown of why Anna and Cersei are very, very similar, but a single quote from “A Dance of Dragons” by George R. R. Martin will suffice. 

“She never forgets a slight, real or imagined. She takes caution for cowardice and dissent for defiance. And she is greedy. Greedy for power, for honour, for love.” 

Ferazhin Mercile: 

Vel Thaidis Yune Hirz: One of the main characters from “Day by Night” by Tanith Lee, she has a very similar “spoiled rich girl thrown into misfortune by her own actions” pattern going along. She also has the same arrogance that rises at all the wrong moments, complete with not wanting to face up to reality when it bites her on the nose.

Sarah Williams: The protagonist of “Labyrinth” spends the entire film learning that she has to take responsibility for herself, including making reality into what she wants rather than retreating into fantasy. It’s a lesson Ferazhin hasn’t yet learned, but her “daring to be sassy to those who can punish her for it” is certainly very much a thing.

Longing Lore: An old character of mine made for a Neverwinter Nights server, Lore very much considered herself a victim of circumstance rather than an active agent in her own life. She had some cause for it--Ferazhin really doesn’t--but certainly shares that fatalistic view with Ferazhin that “this is just how it is, I can’t possibly fix anything.”

Summer Bellmayne:

The Phouka: The main love interest from Emma Bull’s novel “War for the Oaks” is a trickster fae with smooth charm, an amazing wardrobe and a remarkable ability to be the most annoying creature on earth while flashing a brilliant smile. The pixie catte tries to emulate all of this; she’s still working on his incredible ability to toss off profoundly accurate endearments without a moment’s thought. 

Jilly Coppercorn: Although Charles de Lint’s character has a much, much more traumatic background than Summer, they share the same determinedly optimistic outlook and, obviously, belief in the fae. Summer’s is slightly less impressive because, you know, she knows fae are real. They did raise her after all. 

Camillo Scarabae: Tanith Lee’s Scarabae family from the Blood Opera trilogy are a rule unto themselves, and Camillo is a rule beyond that. With his ability to drop out of sight, create an entirely new life for himself and reappear in the best of health and circumstances, he’s very much in line with Summer’s ability to leave different impressions of herself behind. 

Tagged by: @katalinhunter; @va1kyn; @yshai-tia

Tagging: @scarssdoesrp (I’ll tag him till he does something); @mirugaidoesthings​; @janderius-ffxiv​; @mining-dust​; @kymeira​; @lareine-kira​; @gatheredfates​; @sola-ffxiv​; @thedarknesssings​; @thorstyrh​ --anyone else not get tagged? Do it! This took me AGES to finish so I’m probably way behind.

[travllingbunny]

Halt and Catch Fire - most underrated show ever?

Here am I, late to the party and discovering great shows that ended 4 years ago!

I binged AMCs Halt and Catch Fire in a little over 2 weeks and finished it yesterday. I can't understand why this show was never more popular. I found it absolutely addictive. I loved all the main characters. The acting, writing, music was phenomenal. It has a place in my all-time top 10 TV dramas!

When I tried to pitch it to my Twitter mutuals, I was asked what it was about, and here's my best pitch: it is about a group of people developing computer tech during the 1980s-1990s, but that synopsis really doesn't do it justice. It's not really about computers, but about people and relationships. The computer stuff really stands for themes like, forging connections, and daring to dream of a different future. It's probably a hard pitch to make to people who haven't seen it, especially if they're into SciFi, action etc. and who may think "oh, it must be slow and dull unless you're a tech expert". But it's not, it moves fast, so many things happened, and it kept ripping my heart to shreds.

The main characters are some of the most messy, dystunctional, frustrating but compelling and ultimately lovable people I've seen on a TV show, There is is a lot of surprising character development - when you look at the difference at where they start and where they end.

The acting is phenomenal. Lee Pace is incredible and plays his character with charisma and presence rarely seen on TV. Mackenzie Davis's face and body language is incredibly emotioanlly expressive. Scoot McNairy and Kerry Bishé are also fantastic.

Finally, there's a lot of great alt rock 1980s/1990s music in it. Some of it made me nostalgic... and some will now always remind me of the show and certain scenes.

Now, if anyone who is already a fan of HFC is reading this, under the cut are my headcanons about what happened to the characters after the series finale.

- I want to think Donna's idea was something really, really good, and they finally have some success without anything to mess it up. This is the part that's the hardest to imagine specifically. I know the timeline doesn't work for them to invent YouTube or social networks... But who cares, I want to think they have some success, not the kind that would make Donna a tech billionaire, that would be too much, but something decent. It would be the best if it is something to do with online communities.

- I can't see Cameron being a part of a big corporate structure, but she gets jobs as an outside expert coder and can make a living and develop more games. She also does a lot more soul-searching, finally talks to her mom properly, and it all helps her with her creativity. Her next game is one where the player, the lonely pilgrim from the previous game, can win only if they manage to sucessfully connect with other characters. It becomes very popular.

- Cameron will definitely get in touch with Joe again. She certainly wanted to in the finale, and shelearned that he was in his home town. With the Internet , it's not like it would be that hard to find out exactly where he is and what he's been doing. There were also hints in the finale about "reoccurrence" that her 'software' works like that, always doing the same thing over and over. They keep living separate lives, 'because of different current lifestyles and living in different places and all, but they stay in touch by e-mail and online etc. and she drops by whenever she finds the time to visit, so they can do some reconnecting, and *ahem* "reconnecting". :-) Which, I think, is the only way they can have some sort of a relationship that kinda works. (Why does it have to be a conventional relationship or nothing? Especially if you are people who are bad at conventional relationships. And we know these two can never stay out of each other's lives, and couldn't even when they were bitter enemies.)

Finally, another fan on SpoilerTV has brought up the question, what would the characters think of today's tech development, would they be excited or say that things were better in the old days?

- I think Joe, at any age, would definitely always be excited and awed about every great new idea that someone comes up with and would encourage them to put it into the world.

- Donna, on the other hand, would definitely be the curmudgeon who whines about how things used to be better - she already did exactly that in one of the last couple of episodes, when she and Boz talked. I can see them still complaining about it to each other when she visits Diane and great-grandpa Boz. (Who may be dead by 2021, but maybe not - both of my aunts are over 90.)

- The only one I'm not 100% sure is Cameron, but I think she changed by the end of season 4. Season 2/3 Cameron closed herself off emotionally and it affected her work, and she was very 'my ideas are the only good ones', but I think the new and more mature Cameron would be more open. I can see 50-something Cameron working with and mentoring younger people (she was great with Joanie, after all, she has that in her) and being excited about new tech.

[here2bbtstrash]

2! 7! 14! 22! 26! 35! 41! 50! 63 [LDOMLK]! 72! 74! 77! / I'M SORRY 😭😭😭

these are GOOD questions 🫠🤠

OMG SARAH!!!! STICKING MOST OF THIS UNDER A READ MORE... YOU DEMON...... (thank you and i love you 😭😭)

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

legit anywhere, everywhere. sometimes in movies or tv shows, sometimes from songs, sometimes from random shit i see on the internet, sometimes from my personal life 🤭 and sometimes my brain just goes "hey wouldn't it be wild if X" so like i have to assume those come straight from god lmaooooo

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

one day i'll finish park and ride 3..... but for now i'll give you the intro ~under the cut~ 👀

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

in my mf bed lmaooooo or on my couch. i'll write basically laying down with my laptop on my stomach bc anything else makes my back hurt because i'm NEARLY 30 👹

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

this can happen anywhere along the line. sometimes i'll steal the title from a song, either one that inspired the fic ("party on you" comes from charli xcx's party 4 u, "heartless" comes from the kanye west song) or didn't but the specific song line feels correct ("the shape of your body" comes from taylor swift's cruel summer, which.... does not fit the plot at all but i thought it worked well for the themes of bodies/art). sometimes the title comes first and i build the fic around that theme ("babygirl"). sometimes i finish a whole fic and i'm like what the fuck do i call this and i pick something that feels obvious and fits with the story ("park and ride", "two in one").

26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

the first draft 💀 i LOVE outlining, and i LOVE polishing/detail editing stuff once i have a first pass written, but getting that first pass out.... it's like pulling fucking teeth. every time. like do i even like writing 🤣

35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME CHOOSE A FAVORITE 🔪 i love all my children for different reasons.... we'll go with the shape of your body for now just because i really didn't know if i could write something like that, it was such an undertaking, and i've reread it in bits and pieces multiple times because it's so comforting to me 🥰

41. Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

i have an insaaaaaane soft spot for fratboy jk from the spins. i wanna write something else with him SO BAD. i wanna give him a motorcycle 😩

50. How would you describe your writing style?

ashdfjkadf this is hard !!! i strive for realistic, character-driven, humorous, thoughtful, accessible, poetic, honest, and horny. so hopefully.... some mix of those 🤣

63. What was the hardest part of writing [LDOMLT]?

heavy emotional bits aside...... it's probably going to be writing the fucking grammys like i have any idea what the fuck goes on there LMAO 💀 gonna need to watch some youtube videos for research

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

anytime i get compliments on queer aspects of my stories and specifically hear that it resonated with someone or allowed them to better understand/embrace a party of their identity, i just.... fucking melt 🫠 i've heard that several times with the shape of your body and it kills me every single time. it is the highest honor of my life 🙇‍♀️

74. Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

babygirl lmao!!!!! justice for jk with his butterfly clips 😭 but i get it that one is uhhhh. deeply self-indulgent

77. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

so many reasons! i love to connect with people. i love to capture my thoughts on the world and the human condition and how we interact with and treat each other. i love to make myself and others feel less alone and more seen. i love to manifest the shit i'm trying to find in my own life 😩 and of course i love to pay my own little horny artistic tribute to OT7 given that their art has done soooo much for me!!! 💜

stuck in the airport ask game party: fanfic writing asks

[scary-senpai]

What about "Litost"? If I'm not mistaken I've seen you post about that word before... I'm also curious about "the body electric".

💖Ah, Treasured Mutual, can I tell you, this ask made me so happy? 💖

Seriously, it’s absolutely perfect because

1.) you picked the two WIPs which happen to be connected and

2.) you’ve spent time thinking about socio-economics/mental health/public health happens (or doesn’t) in the OPM-verse and

3.) these are the ones I’ve been working on the longest (and hardest!) trying to get right but

4.) even though I’m constantly thinking about them, I don’t talk about them, because they’re multi-part longfics I haven’t finished yet.

😭So thank you from the bottom of my heart, I mean it😭-- you made my day yesterday, this question is a blessing an a gift.

...Did I make that weird? I hope I didn’t make it weird.

In summary, The Body Electric (new title: Imperfect Creatures) and Litost are two series, and they are both comprised of multiple fics. Most can be read as stand-alones, for example: “scars” (which is on ao3 now) takes place in this universe, as does “Collateral Damage” (which is still a WIP, although I’ve posted some drafts here already).

The endgame for both Garou/Genos, but really there’s a lot more to it than that -- for example, both of the aforementioned stories are genfics: while interpersonal relationships are a focal point, they’re either familial or platonic. There is a slow burn, but it’s more of a character study than anything.

Specifically, I’ve always wondered why monsters get presented as an environmental/public health issue (because uncontrollable anger is a health concern), but nobody seems to be taking a preventative approach to the problem—even though that’s kind of a heavy detail to slip into your story just for funsies.

…So I created a third grassroots group that’s just trying to be a neutral party in all this. They’re out to help everyone (and everything) that comes to them—they won’t ask questions. But they are also conducting their own research projects (which is another inclination I have, I guess, when it comes to interpreting the manga: “monster” is just a catch-all term for things we don’t understand, but need to).

Anyway, this group is a little secretive (not everyone likes/agrees with what they are doing), but they have a specific tell: they use the word “creatures” where you’d expect them to use words like “humans,” “people” or “monster.” So, “The Body Electric” was the working title, but the official one (at least, as it stands right now) is “Imperfect Creatures.”

Speaking of these “Imperfect Creatures,” let’s talk characterization. I like writing about about Garou and Genos for the reasons I mentioned earlier: I perceive them as characters that aren’t going towards strength as much as they’re running away from perceived weakness, and abandoning their human bodies has become an integral part of that journey for them. And that’s the response you’d expect, given the things that they’ve witnessed even from a young age.

...What I find interesting about this is that trauma responses often live in the body just as much as the mind. When humans (and animals) experience traumatic events (either in isolation as with Genos, or repeatedly/over time as like Garou did), their figurative alarm bells start sounding and they essentially never stop. This can lead to violent outbursts, difficulty connecting with others, failure to perceive any situation as safe (and projecting one’s trauma onto one’s surroundings), inability to articulate emotions, and profound disconnection from one’s physical body—some survivor’s reach a point where they can no longer recognize their own reflection. Others paradoxically find themselves drawn to life-or-death situations, because that’s the only time they feel alive.

…Garou, in particular, always struck me as a kid who has forgotten you can also get serotonin from hugs as well as punches. I could write a whole essay about it (and I probably will, honestly). The key point, though, is that “feeling safe in your own body” is key to recovering from trauma.

As I mentioned, I started this project in early 2020, and I’ve been working very a long time to get it right. This includes honing my writing skills (it it soooo much more than putting words in order!!!!) and also doing additional research into canon and these other elements that I’m weaving in.

The Body Electric is the first series, and Litost is the sequel. “The body electric” (“TBE” for short) was a working title--it’s also the name of a Walt Whitman poem. I could go on a tangent about Transcendalist poets and espouse the interconnectivity of the universe and one-ness of everything and the joy of inhabiting oneself fully, but I’ll spare you: I chose the working title before I re-read the poem, and that was a mistake because hoooo boy let me tell you, WALT WHITMAN IS A HORNY-ASS MAN. They didn’t tell us that in English class. Go figure.

(And if I finish the series, all of my betas will get a mug that says exactly that. Or “titties out for Walt Whitman,” I haven’t decided yet.)

TBE has gone through a lot of iterations: my biggest challenge was getting these two emotionally closed off characters (Garou and Genos) together in a way that seemed believable and sincere. It started as a Comedy of Errors type deal, which fit canon (a little too much actually, considering recent events haha) but it also felt unfulfilling—why have your characters grow or make choices if Fate is going to push them in that direction, anyway?

…So next I tried “Accidental Meet Cute” but that didn’t work for me (neither character is wont to let a pretty face distract them from their goals), then “Hurt/Comfort” but that also didn’t square, because Garou never really lets his injuries get him down. So right now, I have them both coming from the same village, and I think (fingers crossed!) I can make that work—the biggest challenge is when/how they recognize each other, and at what point they admit it.

At first, I leaned into the idea that Genos had lost some of his memories as an unintentional consequence of the cyborgification process because body and brain are connected, and some aspects of memory are stored somatically, but “amnesia as plot device” never really felt authentic here, either. In summary, though, it felt like the plot was held together with shoestrings and chewing gum for a long time, which is why I was reticent to share anything even though brainstorming with others probably would have helped.

As the story stands right now (which is still subject to change), Garou was home visiting family when the attack happened. Genos knows that, and therefore has no reason to believe that Garou survived. Likewise, Garou has no reason to believe Genos survived (and Genos doesn’t share any details of his background with the public), but still makes a subconscious decision to leave Demon Cyborg out of his Hero Hunt, much in the same way he avoids Silverfang. Demon Cyborg hasn’t actually trained his body, Garou reasons, he’s just replaced it. That’s cheating, Garou rationalizes. Not worth my time. He’s probably not even worthy of being S-Class, he just got bonus points for being pretty…

Ah, it kills me that in the WC, Garou stays on to fight Genos rather than flee because he’s “unfairly handsome”...

“TBE” begins before Garou’s first manga appearance, and I think it ends before his Hero Hunt begins in earnest. I have Garou at the dojo during the Giant Meteor Arc, because sending Bang to die in front of a space rock adds a bit more depth to his hatred of the HA without detracting from his viciousness at all--this is yet another problem Garou could have solved by sharing his feelings (”I can’t stand to see you acting reckless. What if you’re the only family I have...”), but he isn’t there yet.. and Bang isn’t one to notice these things. Assuming a worst-case scenario, Bang reasons, I’m leaving the dojo in good hands.

The road to hell really is paved with good intentions, isn’t it? >:)

Basically I don’t want to worry too too much about being canon compliant, and maybe I’ll rewrite a few canon scenes but I also don’t want to break off into an entirely different universe, because TBE ends the same way—with Saitama fighting Garou, and Garou losing. But since Saitama knows Garou quite well by now, and he knows how much Genos cares about him, it makes their final fight much more painful. So, imagine the scene where Garou is thinking about all the things he’s tried to defeat Saitama, only to have them fail? I’m imagining that scene, inside Saitama’s head:

I tried to relate to him.

I tried asking questions.

I tried talking.

I tried talking to the kid.

I tried talking about the old man.

I tried to show you that you’re good.

I tried being nice.

-I tried being stern.

Please, Garou. Don’t make me do this.

Which brings us to “Litost” — you’re right, that’s a term that I’ve used before. Specifically, I’ve joked that it’s Saitama’s true superpower:

“Litost is a state of torment caused by a sudden insight into one’s own miserable self... Litost works like a two-stroke motor. First comes a feeling of torment, then a desire for revenge.” — Milan Kundera, The Book of Laughter and Forgetting

The story takes place after the Monster Association, and it's mostly about the first two parts (Torment, and Insight)--everyone's trying to move forward, without thinking so much about revenge anymore.

If I make it that far, I might indulge myself and get a little experimental. I've been toying with the idea that Saitama actually starts losing his strength, and it's unclear why-- he just knows that every time he fights anything, he sees some weird, confused kid, and that makes him hesitate.

Right now, I'm just collecting scenes and I haven't thought too much about how to interweave them. I know that Garou untangles his relationship with Bang ("no, he's not a great person but yes, he has positively impacted my life, but also while huring me?") and learns more about Bang's past. Genos also begins to see Saitama in a more critical light, and grapples with similar questions-- although he hasn't hurt Genos, he hurt Garou (whom Genos cares deeply about), and Saitama had specifically promised not to. Maybe infinite strength wasn’t the answer, after all.

But other than that, though... I’ll just screencap my “thesis statement” from Discord, because that’s how I’ve taken to organizing my WIPs (multiple Discord servers, among other things). “Cw” doesn’t stand for “content warning”—those are just my initials, so it’s essentially a note to self:

Yeah, so that’s... a whole lot of stuff, I guess. Thank you again for the ask, I really appreciate it! I really enjoy any chance to talk about stories--my own, or somebody else’s. <3

[whicheverwarrior]

assdjkhkjdf the title of that twilight fanfic is amazing, i must know more 👀 i'd love to hear about your interpretation of twilight, especially because it seems you changed the genre! (have you really written a twilight fic without reading it?)

Yes! fuck yes

Me and my gf jokingly watched twilight for the first time the week we moved into our new apartment and I became obsessed with how bad it is. I found Edward to be really creepy, but like bad at being a creep so and I just wanted him to be scarier. Like he has all the makings of a creepy villain character of Bella.

I also hate how racist the original is with calling the Quileute tribe aggressive, violent wolves which is not really accurate to actual wolves and also just racist to native americans. I truly believe I did more research on the Quileute tribe than Smeyer did before writing her real actual published novel. I haven't gotten to New Moon so I haven't written anything on the wolves yet, but I'm doing quite a change there, but I digress.

In my version, the vampires are creepy, they have fangs, they don't sparkle. Instead of sparkling you can see their veins in the sunlight. they're filled with venom, not blood so it's really disturbing and gross. The really creepy part however is how Edward treats Bella. A lot of stuff is pretty similar to what happens in the movies, but with a horrific twist. He's very controlling and manipulative of her, and his vampirism is a power he holds above her. He's generally really fucked up.

I've also spent a lot of time focusing on Bella's relationship with her dad and with Jessica, her human friend at school. they're really small parts in the movie and supposed to be seen as like shallow and not on the same level as Bella, but I make them genuine caring people who want to be there for Bella. Bella's personality was the hardest to pin down. She's a little feisty when she wants to be, but Edward unnerves her so much that for a lot of what I've written she's overly nervous and paranoid. As well, she loves the outdoors spends a lot of time early on with Jacob at the Quileute reservation and at La Push.

But now that Bella knows Edward is a vampire, a lot of Bella's connections with her friends are going to change. I'm really excited for what's coming up with how Edward manipulates her and basically threatens her into a relationship with him. It's dark, and really shows abusive relationships, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.

Also yes, I never read twilight. It was really popular when I was in middle school, but I never got into it. I've only seen the movies and I have heard they are a bad interpretation of them.

[theokamiproject]

[SPOILERS] Uma Musume Season 2 Review

"It'd probably be easier to just give up, huh? But... I don't want to give up. So it's time to make a miracle." -- Tokai Teio The horsegirl that never gave up.

If you've read my Hibike! Euphonium 2 review, you know that I love an anime that can make me cry, and I especially love an anime that can make me cry alongside it. So, by reading the title you might already know where this review is going but that doesn't mean I'll stop writing, because when I came in to Uma Musume Season 2 after a couple month break between having seen season 1 and now, I was just expecting another fun anime with some cute horsegirls following their dreams, and instead I ended up watching a story about shattering dreams.

I say "story" instead of "anime" because this isn't just another piece of Japanese animated fiction. Like a lot of gacha-based series, the characters in this series are based on real things - this time it just happens to be racehorses. I'm telling you this little piece of trivia not because I think it's cute or original or anything, obviously not, but instead because I think it's important.

Concepts like this are explored often, other series like Azur Lane and Girls' Frontline tread the same line, with characters based on warships and weaponry of the past, and they tend to connect characters together based on the existences they're built around, such as Enterprise and Hornet being sisters in the series. In the same way, Uma Musume connects characters like this, Teio looking up to Rudolf in the series is a nod to the fact that in real life, Tokai Teio was the son of Symboli Rudolf. However, unlike many other series that have this concept, Uma Musume doesn't stop there.

Again and again, our heroine of this season, Tokai Teio, was backed into a corner. Again and again, she had to keep fighting. Breaking her leg three times throughout this series wasn't just a means to keep the plot moving, but the true story of Tokai Teio, the racehorse who kept fighting. After breaking his leg multiple times, he continued to race, and even when everyone thought he was done for, he continued. Does that remind you of anything? Tokai Teio is my favorite character in this series, and she has been since season 1, but watching her run, break apart, run, break apart, run, break apart, and then break down hurt me more and more.

We watched as McQueen, Turbo, Kita, Trainer, and everyone else lost themselves because of the loss of Tokai Teio on the racetrack. Watching her choose to give up once and for all was a breaking point not just for the characters in the series but for me as a viewer, as this was the first time I really cried. I cried alongside everyone else who cried.

... This was the FIRST time I cried.

I was still crying when Twin Turbo managed to win the hardest race of her career just to prove to Teio that anything could happen as long as she didn't give up. I didn't even realize I was crying until Episode 10 ended in fact. I honestly thought that would be the most devastating moment. I honestly believed that from there, Teio just had to keep being herself and I would already adore this series.

Then Episode 12 happened.

It wasn't a show about racing anymore. It wasn't just another slice of life or CGDCT anime anymore. Instead, the drama from this series made it one of the saddest things I've watched play out on a screen. It wasn't until McQueen fell that I felt my heart sink alongside her. It wasn't until tears fell from McQueen's eyes, not until McQueen screamed out, both in pain and in despair, not until I read just two sentences that I really cried right then and there. "I... can't run anymore. I can't keep my promise to you!" was painful. However, what followed it up was even more painful, somehow. Somehow the words that started this review made emotions flood over me, emotions that I never expected from a series like this.

I felt like I was crying for the last 23 minutes of this series after that. The entire last episode I felt tears on my cheeks even during scenes that made me smile and cheer, and when Teio crossed the finish line and everyone cried while calling out her name, I did too.

Every episode it felt like my emotions were running out of control at times. Watching Rice Shower give up because she felt like the world hated her, and watching as the world slowed down for a moment every time one of our stars got injured - each and every scene just made me feel a different sort of pain, a different sort of joy. Uma Musume Season 2 isn't anything like its predecessor. When before Uma Musume was a sports anime disguised as an idol anime that made you want to smile and cringe at times, this side of that same series somehow became one of the tensest dramas I've seen all year.

And yet... through everything, we never saw anyone give up. McQueen, Rice, Turbo, Nature, every single character who faced that wall in front of them... and especially Tokai Teio never gave up. Teio was saved by the people who cared about her, and she saved everyone who she cared about just the same. One girl who struggled again and again paved a way for others to follow, and she's never going to let anyone slip by her again. Why?

Score: 10/10

[literarilymanga]

A Chat About Creativity

Hello! As y’all know, I’ve been talking to various webcomic creators about their individual comics.  Earlier this week, however, I got to talk to Kristina about her creative process and how she brings her webcomics to life. Check it after the cut! 

Me: Do you start with a set idea for a story or does it come gradually?

Kristina: I usually start out with a feeling i want to convey or a problem i want to explore, for example with 14 Nights the problem was "Can you have a relationship without sex?" and then I try to find the answer to my question through the story.

Me: Has working on any one comic proved harder than the other?

Kristina: Hm. Well, at the beginning it was very difficult in general, just because I only had a few skills, and over the years it's gotten easier as I accumulate more. But actually, yes, I’ll say it's been hardest to work on the short anthology comics. I just don't ever feel satisfied with them because they're so short. If I'm not satisfied with the comic then it's very hard.

Kristina: The one I did for Monster Anthology: Demon Edition was the hardest because I don't think I ever really said what i wanted to say.

Me: What would you consider the "perfect" comic length to be?

Kristina: Well, it depends on the story, but I'd say the minimum length for a complete story is probably 50 pages. I can't think of a comic that's less than 50 pages that I've read and had a very strong reaction to. The maximum length could be thousands of pages, ideally. The more pages, the better.

Me: When you create comics, what do you focus on the most to tell your story: setting, characters, or symbolism? Symbolism meaning an underlying theme or a special object or something like that.

Kristina: When you put it that way, I have to say symbolism, more specifically, the underlying meaning. The reason I write comics is to give me a platform to express my beliefs, so I'm very focused on whether I accurately represented my own POV. The characters and the setting are tools to accomplish that goal. But, of course, the characters must be treated with compassion, otherwise you end up creating pawns to do your bidding.

Me: Do you find it harder to draw for anthologies?

Kristina: Yeah, definitely. It's hard to make a decent comic story in 10-25 pages. And all the while knowing you can't really go any further with it, if you like it.

Me: Is there a story that you've done that you really connected with?

Kristina: I'd say that if I put in the effort to finish something,I connect with it 100%. I wouldn't waste my time otherwise; I mean drawing comics is way too much work for less.

Kristina: Well, no that's not completely accurate because I just said the anthology comics don't meet that standard.

Kristina: So all my personal comics, Yasha Lizard, 14 Nights, and Alethia,I connect with 100%. 

Me: Since your comics are bilingual, do you ever worry that things get lost in translation?

Kristina: Nah, not really. At least, not yet! Maybe in the future, but so far I think it sounds basically the same in both languages. Although, sometimes little things don't really bother me. For example, there's a character in Yasha Lizard named Anastasia Anole, and the translator used the word for 'chameleon' instead.(变色龙 in case you're wondering.) But I’ve never seen an anole in China and I don't think Chinese readers will know what an anole is, so I’m fine with the change.

Me: Do you prefer working in color or black and white?

Kristina: I think I prefer black and white. I like the way it looks when it's done. B&w comics are, to me, aesthetically superior to color comics. However, knowing that I feel that way, I felt I had to challenge myself to come up with a color comics art style that I would like just as much as I like b&w comics. I'm not there yet.

Me: Do you have certain color families you stick to? Or just whatever matches the tone?

Kristina: Yeah, definitely! Right now I can't seem to get away from teal and magenta. I love blue-greens in general and always want to use them. I need to branch out more.

Me: How do your readers react to your work? Do you seem to draw a specific type of reader?

Kristina: One thing I've noticed is that people only tend to say positive things about it. If they don't like my work, they keep it to themselves. There must exist people who hate my comics, but for some reason, they don't say so publicly. I wonder why? As for type of reader, I seem to have a variety. But they are probably all liberal-leaning. I don't think a very socially conservative reader could get much out of my work.

Me: How do you feel about the webcomic medium and the print comic medium?

Kristina: I love webcomics as a medium. I like digital everything. I'm kind of a technophile that way. I read all my prose books on a screen, too. I only print comics in order to have something to sell at the conventions. If it wasn't for that, I'd never print anything. As a reader, I don't like having a lot of physical things sitting around. I move almost every 2 years.

Me: Do you find that you get more interest in your work after cons?

Kristina: Oh yeah, absolutely. And the cons in china are enormous, so I meet hundreds of people each day at them.

Me: Do you only sell books or do you sell other related merch?

Kristina: I sell prints of my stand-alone illustrations and stickers of cats and guinea pigs. Everyone loves cat stickers. It's how you guarantee you'll make back at least the table cost. 

Me: I saw your guinea pig! So cute! Tell me about being a female comic artist in China.

Kristina: *laughs* I don't even know any male comic artists here. I mean, I know they exist but I never see them. All my comic friends are women. Next month I'm going to share a table with some friends, two women. The majority of the attendees are female as well.

Me: Have you collaborated on works outside of anthologies?

Kristina: I haven't collaborated on anything, ever, to be honest. The anthology stories were also my art + writing. I've never done a comic with someone else, although I've been offered money to try it.

Me: Is there anything you want to share about your experience with comics?

Kristina: My experience with comics has been...It doesn't pay money. It's a masochistic career choice.

Me: Any advice for people getting into comics?

Kristina: *laughs* Well it depends on what their goals are. Other people likely have very different goals than me. I don't ever intend to work for a major publisher, if I can help it.

Kristina:  Ok, but, my advice to female cartoonists is: Use a comic to say the thing you are absolutely the most terrified to say. Dig down deep and find that thing you think you'd be kicked off planet earth for saying, and say it. Put it under a pseudonym if you have to. but once you do it, you'll experience a freedom you never knew was possible.

You can check out Krisitna’s portfolio work and all of her comics at her main site. Don’t to forget to check out my earlier interview with Finnish artist Niina Eveliina. 

If you want to share your own thoughts on the creative process or want to be interviewed, feel free to comment on this post or send an ask or a message.  

Have a great weekend! 

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

In a previous ask you listed Stefan as one of your favorite characters and I wonder what makes him one of your favorite characters? What makes your drawn to him and root for him? A lot of people say his character is boring, but I disagree, though I've only seen the first 3 seasons so I might not have right to an opinion as I haven't watched the later seasons.... but I love Stefan and I absolutely adore Paul and I think he's very good at portraying his character and the different sides of him etc

Of course you have the right to have an opinion. Even if you’d only watched one episode, you still have the right to have an opinion. I’m more than happy to share with you why I love Stefan, but a little pre-warning there will be spoilers from seasons 3-8 and also my response will be pretty hefty, which I’m sure you’ll be expecting if you’ve read any of my other responses to asks haha.

When I think about what makes Stefan one of my favourite characters there are so many reasons that I couldn’t just choose one. But a good place to start would be to say, the simplest reason is that I’m just connected to him and once you develop that connection with a character it’s hard to break it.

Other than that, the reason I love Stefan is because he’s just such a complex character. He’s actually so complex, that the writers themselves haven’t seemed to know what to do with him a points throughout the course of the show. Paul’s abilities as an actor are fantastic and the fact that he is able to so perfectly portray Stefan and the Ripper and make them feel like two separate people that are also interlinked is amazing. Honestly, I only have to see a gif and I instantly know whether Stefan has his humanity or not based on Paul’s expressions, eyes and body language. It’s really incredible how he manages to do that. And I don’t want to reveal any spoilers, but in season 5 Paul demonstrates his acting abilities even further.

It frustrates me to no end that people brand Stefan as being boring. It’s such a narrow-minded and stereotypical view of his character. I understand where it comes from since in seasons 1 and 2, he was that typical good guy, always doing the right thing. As Matt said, Stefan’s “that guy”, as in the guy that’s so perfect that everyone hates him. But I don’t understand how anyone that actually watched the show (past season 3 in particular) can have that opinion of him. The truth of the matter is that Stefan in season 1 was only half of himself, if that. He was still so caught up in the baggage of his past, so consumed with staying “clean” and managing his blood lust, of not giving into his dark urges as a vampire, that it forced him to strip himself back completely. He spoke softer, he carried himself in a particular way, he forced smiles, he tried his hardest to be an ordinary 17 year old, but in reality he was anything but. Regardless of how you look at it, a lot of the time in season 1, Stefan wasn’t himself. We got to see more of a glimpse of the other side to him towards the end, when he struggled with his blood lust after Elena gave him her blood to save him in 1x18. This is where we really saw that Stefan wasn’t “that guy” and that he was just like everybody else - he had his issues, he lost control and he wasn’t perfect. The thing that struck me the most during those episodes when Stefan was struggling with his blood lust, was that he was torn between that part of him that really just wanted to let go and drain the blood from everyone in sight and the part of him that was desperately clinging to the person he wanted to be and was deep down inside. The fact that he told Elena at the end of 1x19 how much he was struggling really highlighted that. Stefan really opened the flood gates in 1x20 when we finally learned the story of how he and Damon came to be vampires and he explained to Elena how he truly felt; the crippling guilt he carries all the time and the pain that goes along with it that was so intense that it actually made him not want to live anymore. That’s the point where we started to get a glimpse of the experiences that had led Stefan to where he was and formed the person he was. We saw that he’d done terrible things in his past and he was a monster, but the fact that he felt genuine remorse and pain for that proved he was more than that and as Elena said, he made a choice to be good and reject the person the blood made him. How can you not root for someone like that? Someone that is not naturally good, but nonetheless fights their damn hardest to be the best they can be?

What I also love about Stefan is that, as you mentioned, there are so many different sides to him. Obviously the first thing that comes to mind when I say that is Stefan and the Ripper, but it’s not limited to just that. I think perhaps a more accurate way to describe him is to say that he’s very multi-layered, rather than saying he has different sides to him. With each episode that passed I caught a glimpse of a trait of his that I’d never seen before or I learned more about his past. There’s always something new to learn about Stefan and even 8 seasons on, there still is. Whilst in the earliest episodes he came across as rather boring and lacking in personality or substance, with the appearance of Lexi in 1x08 we were opened up to a completely different side to him. Suddenly he was a really fun guy with good taste in music (Bon Jovi, duh!), that, in Lexi’s words, jumped naked into the Trevi fountain and got drunk on the torch of the statue of Liberty. We got to see him relax, loosen up and show his lighter side and we discovered that him being uptight is just because he’s not fully comfortable around people he doesn’t know too well. Is that a crime? In fact, I’d argue most people suffer from the same problem and struggle to be themselves around new people. Personally, this made Stefan very relatable and that’s one of the first steps in me connecting to a character. Stefan is also deeply sensitive, he really feels things and is affected by the pain of other people. He can’t help but get emotionally invested and involved in other people’s problems and it’s the reason why he’s always stepping in to save people and help them in anyway he can. His journal has always been his way of being able to channel those emotions and express his inner turmoil at carrying the weight of not just his own feelings, but those of the people around him and yet again, all of this is something I personally relate to, because I’m exactly the same.

I know that along with being branded as boring, Stefan has also earned the title of “good guy”, which is kind of directly tied to being boring. That guy that’s always the hero, always doing the right thing and is just and fair is generally boring because people want the anti-hero, the villain that they can root for to earn their redemption. The thing is, calling Stefan the good guy is as narrow minded as calling him boring, because he is certainly not the good guy. He has maimed, tortured, killed and feasted upon countless of innocent people all for his own amusement and I believe there’s a deep part of Stefan that is truly evil. The proof we have of that is how drastically different Stefan is whenever he is without his humanity. With characters such as Damon and even Caroline, let’s be honest, there was barely any difference when they didn’t have there humanity and with Damon in particular, I actually couldn’t tell you at what points during the series he had his humanity and the points that he didn’t. However, when it comes to Stefan, boy, you know it. Without his humanity, he is utterly ruthless, there is no limit on what he’ll do, nothing that’s too far or too much, he just does whatever the hell he wants. His eyes, his mannerisms, his behaviour, his actions, the things he says, everything about him is different when he doesn’t have his humanity. Watching Stefan in season 3 was the first time I really took notice of him and was like, “Whoa, this guy!” Seeing that dramatic turn in his character was intriguing and honestly made me fall in love with Stefan in a completely new way. But what was fascinating about Stefan in season 3 is that no matter how far he fell into that black hole of darkness, he never stopped clinging to that humanity, deep inside himself and that is who Stefan truly is. That’s his heart and soul. The darkness in him is essentially created solely from his vampirism. That’s what’s so strange about him, too, is that I actually genuinely don’t perceive his darker side to be a part of his true self. I think that if you dig right into the center of Stefan and get to his soul, he is truly good and pure. All of his issues come from being a vampire. Think about it. As a human Stefan was pretty happy - he was the apple of his father’s eye, his mother doted on him (before she “died”), he had a good relationship with his big brother, he lived a wealthy lifestyle and when we saw flashbacks of Stefan as a human he always struck me as being pretty contented. The start of Stefan’s issues were when he accidentally killed his dad and took those first few drops of blood. From there it spiralled and once he’d made Damon turn and Damon completely turned against him, the dark side of Stefan was born. I personally have always believed that the Ripper was created because of Stefan’s issues with Damon. He lost his mother, killed his father, was responsible for Katherine’s “death” and Damon was the only person he had left in the world. All that kept him going was the thought of spending eternity with his brother and once he realised that he’d messed up and Damon hated him, it broke him. The only way he knew to deal with that pain and loneliness and devastation was to turn it off and lose himself in the blood. And those impulses have never left him, it’s become almost a learned behaviour for him now. He feels pain and his immediate reaction is to feed to numb the pain. It’s his coping mechanism. But I’d argue that unlike a lot of Stefan stans, that Stefan doesn’t have an addictive personality. If he was human or had always been human I don’t believe he would be an addict. His need for blood was created from being a vampire and the events that led to it and the consequences too. 

Another reason I love Stefan, which is actually one of the simpler ones: have you seen how he treats Elena? How he treats Caroline? How he treats Bonnie? How he treats everyone? (x) (x) Stefan is a gentleman. He’s sweet, he’s kind and he’s sincere. From the second he came onto the show in season 1 he had an overbearing desire to protect everyone. Even though it was Damon that turned Vicki, Stefan took full responsibility for her and dedicated himself to trying to help her deal with the transition, he supported Caroline through her transition and without him she really wouldn’t have made it, he forgave Katherine for the trauma she put him through for 160 years and gave her peace in her final moments, he teamed up with Rebekah and promised to help her find the cure despite her being his enemy, he saved Damon multiple times despite the fact Damon had made his life a living hell, he stepped aside from the love of his life to let his brother be happy, he forgave his mother for abandoning him and pretending to be dead for over a century. The list could continue, but the point is Stefan is a forgiving, compassionate person that constantly shows how much of a decent and strong person he is through the selflessness and mercy he shows, even to his enemies. These are the traits that make a person strong and Stefan has all of them. 

Every time I look at him, I just can’t help but wish the best for him, because he deserves it so much. I’ve seen him sacrifice so much and he’s never really got the rewards or benefits and he’s never begrudged that or even complained. He keeps trying to move forward and I also love that despite the fact that he comes across as a rather brooding and depressive character, he is actually so filled with hope. No matter what happens to him, he never gives up, he simply looks at what’s happened and finds a way to deal with it. And I hate making comparisons, but I feel it’s relevant to make this point. Unlike Damon, Stefan actually rarely (if ever) flies off the handle when he’s upset or angry (unless he has no humanity). I mean, Elena dumped him and slept with Damon within 24 hours, then they both lied to him about being together and do you know what he did? He threw a chessboard across the room. In season 5 when he was dealing with PTSD after being locked in a safe and drowning over and over for months and was still struggling to deal with his break-up with Elena, he kept it all inside and dealt with it by letting Caroline and Katherine help him. He didn’t blame anyone else or result to violent or reckless behaviour, he pushed through and attempted to deal with it in a healthy way without being a burden on anyone else. And that is who Stefan is. He never asks for anything, he never wants pity or sympathy or credit, he just does what he has to, what he’s supposed to and that’s it.

I could really go on all day about why I love Stefan, but the best way to summarise it is that he’s just a loveable character to me in every single way. He has so much to offer and despite the writers failing on knowing what to do with such a fantastic character, their poor writing still can’t take away from the complexity of his character and I really praise Paul for managing to convey that, even as the seasons have progressed. 

From the beginning the story was narrated as being Stefan’s story and he was the one that drew me in. He’s the vampire I was intrigued to know, his history was the one I watched for and his relationships and development were what I wanted to see and that has never really changed. Stefan is the heart and soul of the show (along with Elena) and it wouldn’t be the same without him. And whilst I have the chance, I want to argue the point, that although Damon has the reputation for being the funny brother, Stefan is actually very funny (x) (x). Damon might have his snappy one liners, but Stefan’s snarky comments and sass is so much more subtle, and in my opinion, funnier. Just thought I’d throw that out there as a final point haha. 

[princessofmerchants]

Papa Archeron is at the center of my deep connection to these books. It's an effing complicated and very personal connection that has everything to do with my own father, which I fully admit at the outset (and I promise I can discuss Papa Archeron critically despite this, but it's a disclaimer that my understanding is necessarily colored by my own life experience).

☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻This take on Papa Archeron models the empathy I yearn to have in my real life version of The Archeron Family (even as my default state is a constantly low level burning rage), and it's the first time I've seen this kind of work done in relation to this character. So many kudos to @lily-mj-fae for this. ✨✨✨

You don't need to agree with everything in this take, but I think it's a pretty courageous take that aims to extend the empathy this fandom (myself included) fell in love with these books for, to one of the hardest-to-love/accept characters.

I have wish fulfillment moments in which I wish Papa Archeron didn't die. But then I think of all the ways he tried imperfectly to fix what he broke (or contributed to breaking) in his family, and realize it's possible that his ultimate sacrifice was somehow necessary to atone for it. (really messy thoughts here, y'all. none of this is comfortable in the slightest...)

I don't know. Don't take anything I'm saying as my exact position on him, my feelings about him are really, really messy and constantly in flux. But his arrival at the head of that armada is the single most powerful moment in the series for me so far.

(seriously not an exaggeration, imagine the ugliest of ugly tears, every single time I glimpse the text for that moment, no matter how many times I've read the series; I have the pages screenshot so I can summon them when I need to feel deeply and am struggling to because of the compartmentalization I tend to do with my Big Feelings the majority of the time... sound familiar?)

And I believe the following two things can be true at the same time:

Papa Archeron was the guardian of three vibrant daughters, and it was his responsibility to care for them and himself in the wake of his wife's death, and he did not.

and

Papa Archeron was weighed down by trauma such that he couldn't see his present clearly enough to live in it and meet his responsibilities, and when his initial neglect led to poverty, there were no resources (medical or otherwise) to help him overcome that trauma and anchor him in the present in order to fulfill his responsibility to them.

To many, both of these are travesties and unforgivable. For me, the first may be, but the second is not as clear to me, and that greyness haunts me and prevents me from writing him off wholly.

And if that second truth about Papa Archeron is forgivable, even just the modicum of a chance at being forgiven by the strongest of souls, and in light of his redemptive acts that had real, material, positive consequences in the lives of those same daughters...

...what might this mean for Nesta, who has been most impacted by Papa Archeron's actions both in life and with regard to his death?

(I say that last part based on the relative okay-ness of all three sisters in ACOFAS—Elain and Feyre seem to be going through healthy stages of grief while Nesta is not.)

Thoughts? Is there a version of the sisters' futures in which they, especially Nesta, find peace regarding their father? Can that peace include forgiveness or is that off the table?

(I don't believe it—forgiveness—can ever be completely off the table, but I wonder if for Nesta that is the case or not.)

Papa Archeron

I have thought a lot about this and I wanna discuss Papa Archeron and the way fandom treats him as a whole (And I guess the whole beginning of ACOTAR). Like just a food for thought kind of discussion about his character as a whole. And I’m going to preface with this: As their father, and the adult, it was absolutely his responsibility to care for his children. He should have been the main provider for their family, 100%. And this post is in no way discrediting that. He failed his children to the ultimate level for those years in the shack. This post is simply meant to look at the overall picture and some common misconceptions that I’ve seen spreading and some interesting things about how fandom treats characters as a whole.

So to start, for a fandom that loves to talk about mental health, a lot of people seem to forget that Papa Archeron likely has some Severe depression and PTSD on top of his own actual disability. That, or they simply don’t care and think he should have magically been able to power through it. The girls lost their mother, and when they did, he lost his wife. Of course we know very little about them, or their relationship. But I think he probably still loved her. And then in losing her, he suddenly had to take on even more responsibilities with his three children, while also trying to support his family. And we know that their family was never wealthy. They were always in dept. His family just knew how to work the system enough that they stayed our of trouble. Until they didn’t. 

So now he’s dealing with depression from spousal grief, but also depression from losing literally almost everything. Think of how many family heirlooms, memories, were lost. The house his children were born in, the house they were raised in. The things he likely had from his childhood, things that were passed down to him from his parents and things passed down even further. All of his gone. Him? A complete failure. His confidence in himself is gone.

Then the debtors come and beat him. They even take away his ability to walk AND his youngest watched the whole thing. Papa Archeron is destroyed mentally. He’s not in a place to be taking care of himself or his children. His children would have been better off being sent to an aunt or someone. And yet for a fandom that likes to preach about Feyre’s, Rhys’s, Nesta’s, hell, even Tamlin’s mental health issues, they act like Papa Archeron should have been able to pick up his own pieces and  be perfect. Which is just unrealistic. 

And i keep seeing people say something along the lines of “He was able to go all the way to the continent to build an army, he wasn’t that injured” as if it was always that way. But they forget that he could BARELY walk, even with the assistance of a cane, at the beginning of ACOTAR. The only reason he was able to walk, and then travel was because of a tonic and salve that he was given for free from a traveler, that came because of TAMLIN. It wasn’t like he always could. And it wasn’t even that he could simply because his mental health improved. He physically couldn’t. Even if he wanted to. Even if he wasn’t broken down to his core. The only reason his injury went away was because he actually got some stuff to heal it properly where they hadn’t been able to before.

Which is why, even if his mental health were in a state to care for his children, he could never be the soul provider, and given their level of poverty, shouldn’t have been. All three sisters had a responsibility to help their family to some degree. And I think, even if Papa Archeron didn’t have those issues, if they were still in that level of poverty, they still would. 

I know we hate Thomas (fro good reason). But we do have to look to his family, and Feyre’s comment about him, for a reason. His family was barely better off than the Archerons (which honestly says something about how poorly they did as a family together or how well Feyre was doing on her own). And every single person in that family had to pull their own weight. This is something we see, even in today’s world. Every member of the family has to do their part to support the family when you’re at a certain poverty level. Especially if there’s a family member who say, can’t pull their weight (think of Charlie Bucket’s family and the grand parents…except Grandpa joe cause…that was just wtf xD). 

So sure, Papa Archeron could have tried more often to go into town to sell his wood carvings. He could have made more wood carvings (and likely would have gotten even better thus creating a higher quality product) in general to sell more often. But he couldn’t hunt for the family. He couldn’t go gather wood for his carvings. At least one of the girls was going to have to. And why should Feyre have to hunt, clean, and cook the animal? That task could have easily been split between the sisters. Also, if Papa Archeron couldn’t wobble into town, then Nesta and Elain could go set up a stall, sell his carvings (might even do better than if he did because who could resist a beautiful girl). AND Elain could have been clipping and selling her flowers. Growing vegetables for them to store for winter. Nesta chopping wood without argument (except ya know, the usual kind of griping one might do for a tedious chore. but not the whining to get out of it all together and put more work on someone else)

We act like none of the girls had a responsibility to provide for the family. That it was solely on the shoulders of their father. And that just isn’t true. They all needed to contribute. They all needed to pull their weight. Feyre telling Nesta she’d be a burden wasn’t just about insulting her (honestly, I don’t even think it was about insulting her at all, at least not intentionally), it was a warning. Thomas’s family wouldn’t put up with her sitting around all day or just walking into town, doing nothing to contribute to the household. The same would have been true of Elain if she’d had a suitor while they lived in that shack.

Papa Archeron thrived once he realized he could succeed again. And he was doing everything in his power to protect his girls from returning to that place. And when he learned their lives were in danger because of the Fae, he went to build an army to fight for them. Because he knew he failed them. And he was willing to die to correct that, and he did. He loved his daughters, he recognized he failed them. And he died for it. 

But I think as a fandom we’re a little too hard on him. I mean. We’re willing to write off a lot awful things. Say that those people either redeemed themselves or that they are dealing with trauma and that’s why they’re acting the way they are. And Papa Archeron is expected to completely overcome trauma, depression, and a physical disability altogether? It doesn’t seem right coming from a fandom that loves to throw around the characters’ traumas in defense of mental health and such.

Anyway, this is just a food thought piece as I said. Some things I had been thinking about for a while and wanted to put out there.