#I really feel like I've done almost everything in this game
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valiantpoison · 7 months ago
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I've been thinking about this for a while - a content warning for iwatex indicates that there's a scene where you can be "intimate with someone" to avoid a conflict, which may be seen as being under duress...I have yet to experience anything like that, though. Not sure what this could be referencing...?
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seaofreverie · 11 months ago
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Wanted to start working on projects for my part-time school this weekend but instead all I have the energy to do is lay in bed and play mario kart or lay in bed and listen to music
#i started taking meds two days ago and over those two days i've felt even more dead energy-wise than before. if that's even possible#i hope this passes sooner than later because the semester's almost over#and i want to prepare something better to pass this course with than those projects that everyone did in class#and then it will finally (or rather already. time feels fake) be summer and no more obligations of such type. for now#altough i'll admit these last few months were rather easygoing#in terms of stuff i had to do for a set deadline and such#it would have been a much harder time for me otherwise#at least i'm getting this stuff sorted at last. slowly but surely#and enjoying my time gaming and listening to 4-5 albums a day on average as of the last two days#maybe 2024 is the year when my mental health problems finally caught up with me#but then with some dedication and direction i can also start getting out of it for once and for all#like i actually want to be proud of what i've done this year. because it's a lot#and it's things i wouldn't have found myself capable of just a few months ago#like. making this blog and actually sharing my feelings and thoughts somewhere#years of being your own only confidant really messes with your brain and ability to function as an adult it turns out#but yeah i hope i can get this sorted now and the meds help and make it easier to go about my previous plans for making myself feel better#i'll try not to post about this too much but i really needed to get this out today#i know many people vent on tumblr anyway but my brain will always make me feel bad about anything and everything i do lol#vent tag
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spotsupstuff · 22 days ago
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I'm still working on getting the gardening ending for myself, but I've been collecting some ponderings I'd like to write down. So:
A congregate of thoughts on Watcher lore (as of now):
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• I really like that this DLC is right now three kids in a spiritual trenchcoat. None of them is normal. I bet they'd all be friends if they met.
• I really like the color coding of these 3, as for what I've assumed regarding to colors' symbolism in this world: - Black stands for Nirvāṇa, the Void, being outside of the reincarnation cycle - Gold/yellow stands for holiness, ascension - Blue/purple stands for damnation/stagnation - White stands for Saṃsāra, the cycle of reincarnation, the physical world (the Watcher lingers in the physical world, unwilling to leave it)
On the account of blue and yellow being on opposing sides on the color wheel, I'd also gander a guess that the Rot and the Void don't entirely agree with each other/may be on opposing sides.
• Therefore, I don't think the gardening ending was exactly what the Rot Prince wanted to achieve, supported by his last two dialogues with the Watcher:
[Greeting lines]. As with all great deeds, my work is not without great challenge. It has taken eons and the light fades. The paths close and change. I can almost feel... a will... at odds with my own.
[Greeting lines]. Forgive me if I go on! You have done so much for me, I will not burden you with my troubles. Please, rest here as long as you wish. You are always safe here, my dear friend. You, who were there for me.
My guess is that the content that hasn't dropped yet will introduce either a new character/s in a sort of godly roles, or will explain the powers playing behind the wheel flowers and the Cycle.
• A light at the end of the tunnel (or something white/bright with a way to it?) is mentioned by both Spinning Top (at her ending) and the Prince (both as a flowerbud and in that first paragraph I copied up there).
I don't know what to do with this yet, I just found it interesting. Something something the white light within the Void Sea in the original game?
• ,,Outer Rim...?"
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The Buddhist cosmology says the world is made out of 9 mountains (Mount Sumeru [the axis mundi], 7 golden mountain ranges and 1 outermost iron mountain range [maybe the withered buildings here are made of rusted iron, buried in stardust]) and 8 seas (7 freshwater and 1 saltwater), with 4 continents within the salt sea who's inhabitants each have a little something extra (except the South I guess, that's where *we* are. well apparently all Buddhas appear here actually, so you know. that's a something).
For an interesting example, the north continent called Uttarakuru is said to house the wealthy, owning no private property, where their food grows by itself and they live in the skies (Iterator cities, nudge nudge).
The name of this region could point to the Buddhist cosmological map being a physical fact for this world. I'd like to think that the dimension hopping aspect to the Watcher's worming through the space-time is at least limited to 4 continents(/realities?).
Also a fan fact: in Chinese mythology it is said the waters flow and stars fall slowly, because a water god with a bad tamper, Gònggōng, broke one of the pillars supporting the sky. Combining this fun nugget with the established lore in a pearl that everything is once eaten away by the Void down below, I'd say it is safe to assume on 89% that the dust mentioned in that pearl comes from the heaven itself and creates a sort of a cycle of the physical matter.
Suppose stardust is what creates everything, powers everything (just as is said in science). Suppose the Starcatchers are superstructures made for conversion of it into desired forms, these ones perhaps in the West of the world specifically, because of their circular shape.
(Meaning Signal Spires are perhaps of the South, while original game- aka Pebbles and Moon- are in the North of this world.)
• I find it fascinating and validating that Spinning Top needed some sort of an Embrace from one of the Five Urges/Hindrances (the third one, companionship) to be able to pass on.
It points to my idea of what the religion is Really supposed to be about: the Five Urges are what they are- urges- and they cannot run rampant. The point isn't to absolutely *eradicate* violence, pleasure, companionship, hunger and desire to live from oneself. The point is to be able to control these things and not cling on to them.
Because if one clings on to something, they stagnate, they cannot progress, they rot and they *fear* losing the something more than they can truly enjoy it or they get far too lost in it to feel it right anymore. To cling on to life means being afraid of taking risks, trying something new and really Living.
But now that doesn't mean going for the opposite is the correct way to go about it- that still creates a desire, a clinging- an urge for death is just as good as urge for life. It binds. It's extremism without careful consideration for what is really the best to do, feel and think in any given situation.
(This goes for love, too, it is GOOD to love, but going too far becomes unhealthy obsession instead of love. Going the other way results in hatred, another utterly useless and harmful thing to harbor. Same as indifference - that is stagnation again, that isn't picking up something, working with it to move forward. Love is a forward motion that is required, but cannot be overdone because as so it would be bastardized into something else, possessive and caging.)
Spinning Top could move on only when she knew that the flipside of the Third Urge- a sickening loneliness- wasn't something to fear anymore.
• Yeah, I don't think we can count on backgrounds too much when it comes to size calculating on the basis that they are probably shaped around gameplay. Specifically thinking about how the spinning top toy changes sizes between it's in-game model and the art. When it comes to Ancients, I'd say the best one can do is do what feels right.
• The Rot Prince is some sort of a boosted up Preta, I swear to heavens. Hungry guy. Maybe the Rot as a whole is a Preta stand in, just way more physical.
• Can't believe my ,,Respawning is real" headcanon has been officially given the thumbs down... The *Strand* Theory is real. (Even though DP is separate from the Watcher, this at least explains why Artificer didn't just go back to the last shelter she slept in when her cubs were still with her. They went to a different strand, where a different Artificer managed the situation better and we are stuck in this reality without them.) (We see them in her Void ending either because they are the one thing her heart wishes for [the Void gives comfort to those who are passing, as far as I am concerned], or because the Void is where all the reality strands and times coincide into one another.)
• On that note, no Fucking wonder the Ancients wanna bail - we don't really know to what extend they were aware of reality's unwounding nature, but assuming it is Pretty Thorough, I too wouldn't wanna live with the knowledge that in one reality I might've died on my loved ones, leaving them broken, while in the other everything is just fine and dandy.
The endless wondering of ,,Did I die in a different reality at any point in my life? Did I leave these people I love behind to hurt, alone, and I can't do anything to help them? I can never know, I'm not allowed to comprehend..." would slowly kill anyone with a heart, I think.
• I wonder if the Prince is a puppet/the Rot made itself a puppet, - because the Starcatchers were Iterator-esque biomechanications with a different directive than iterating on the Big Problem and this is a consumed Starcatcher (something about its budding dialogue feels to me like there was a sense of a Self beforehand that was drowned out by the Rot and then was pulled forward again with additions) - because the Rot is at the edge of the universe (humming a tune) where a messed up slugcat decided to start ripping holes in the reality, therefore connecting different strands including to places where the Rot already existed as a plague upon Some Iterator, which gave spark to sapience and inspiration to a new mind
• The new karma set is definitely a droplet and the ripples it leaves behind. Makes sense, too, there's more ,,movement" within it the more Spinning Top yanks the Watcher around in time-space (accidentally, I'd guess. or the ,,blame" is more on Watcher *somehow*), messing up their physical existence more and more.
Maybe the karma symbols or the imagery itself have something to do with a combination of an axis mundi and the strand form of existence.
Something about there being a main timeline in which each action and decision creates a new ripple, a new strand.
• I wonder if the Watcher could've come across Spinning Top and effectively latch on/follow her, - because they were already dead/echoed (the dream sequence upon reaching the final karma level could mean they did go to the Void Sea and swam pretty deep but turned back and that resulted in Echo-ification? then again why can a lizard bite me. Spinny's laughing at me for it. Goddammit.) - because of their nature as someone who's so damn hesitant about things, who hangs in the backlines, only observes and learns. Very Echo-esque personality - because of their desire to have someone there
• Just realized that we have a canonical design for Spinning Top's mask, hot damn. ,,How do children's masks look like?" answered.
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I don't know why, that kind of creeps me out.
• The portals existing outside of us are made by Spinning Top, I'm pretty sure. She's always over them.
Is it normal for Echoes to leave tears like that? I think if the Rot Prince met her and knew she's the one who started this whole journey that resulted in him coming to exist as a consciousness and to bloom, he'd see her as a friend the same way he sees the Watcher.
• I wonder if his approach to the Rot Triple Affirmitive is ,,it's going to get worse before it gets better". He has suffered, too- while he normally speaks gently, calmly, orderly, when he is a flowerbud he seems frantic to me. Like someone breathing through death before getting better.
• Is the concept of the Rot Prince created for the first time in all existences' or is he a repeating pattern, too? The Rot in the least seems to be a pattern, because of what Spinning Top says when we meet her in one of the original regions, eaten through by the Rot.
,,You shouldn't have come here. It's too far." Does that refer to this strand's/ripple's distance from the axis mundi/the water drop creating all these realities? The further out the little wave carries out, growing smaller and weaker, the more rotten through it is? Is it because still water is stagnation, just as the Rot is?
So the Cycle is change and movement, life and love, that exists in a hurtful matter not out of its design, but because it has to contend with absolute stillness/stagnation/the Rot? Or it's all part of the same system, truly designed like this?
Could a Mass Ascension be seen as an escape plan from a ripple growing old? Man...
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• A quick attempt at illustrating the previous thought:
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Some Pepe Silvia level nonsense going on here.
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woso-dreamzzz · 5 months ago
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If You Were My Little Girl II
Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader
Summary: Things are looking up
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Alexia watches from the stands.
They're mostly empty, like almost all Barcelona B matches.
Women's football has only really started picking up steam recently but only at the top flight. The lower level leagues are still having a bit of a popularity issue.
But Alexia, for once, finds that she doesn't mind.
Because it means she can sit practically alone in the stands as she watches the home match.
A notepad sits on her lap, a pen tapping against the pages thoughtfully as she watches.
Barcelona B are good and Alexia has never expected anything different. She's seen the system at work many times as La Masia churns out players like Aitana and Pina and Jana, and more recently Vicky and Martina.
There's a reason so many clubs wants La Masia products.
They're all good players but even now, Alexia can tell a great player when she sees one.
You rise up among the crowd in the box and slam the ball into the goal, the net rippling with the force of the shot.
The best part, Alexia thinks, is that you didn't even need a moment to control the ball, hitting it in on the volley and grinning as your teammates practically dogpile you.
A hattrick in ten minutes is impressive in any league and Alexia makes another note in her notebook, humming softly to herself.
She rises out of her seat at the end of the match, disappearing into the building and out the doors.
It takes another half an hour for you to appear again, hair damp and an old crew neck sweater that Alexia's pretty sure is Alba's being tugged over your head.
You slip into the passenger seat, throwing your bag into the backseat and Alexia pulls your head down to press a kiss against the side of it.
You smile shyly at her as she offers up the fries she'd bought for a job well done.
"You did good, kid," She says," Very impressive."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. But I think we're going to work on evading slide tackles next," Alexia says as she drives off," We're trying to keep those ankles of yours intact, alright? I'm going to need them this season."
You roll your eyes and Alexia clicks her tongue.
"Don't roll your eyes at me," She says," I've got a good feeling about that meeting later in the week. A great feeling, actually. You should have one too."
"I'm managing expectations."
Alexia looks at you fondly. "Well, we'll see which one of us is right in a few days."
She lets you choose the music in the car, like she always does when you've scored a goal and you pull up to the apartment a lot quicker than you want to seeing as you're in the middle of singing along to your favourite song but, still, you drag yourself out of the car and up the stairs.
"How was the match?" Olga asks as she greets Alexia with a kiss on the lips.
"She did very well," Alexia brags," A hattrick within the first ten minutes and another goal in injury time."
"Exciting," Olga says indulgently as Alexia grins, already giving her running commentary of everything that happened during the match.
You escape though, hurrying to raid the cupboards before Alexia finally comes to her senses and tries to stop you 'spoiling' your dinner.
You don't know if there's any way to thank Alexia for what she's done for you.
Just three months ago, you were convinced that you were going to quit. You had no passion for the game, no hope of what your future was going to be but now all of that had changed.
You had direction. You had a manager. You had new boots and a place to live that wasn't a group home and support and love and everything seemed to be coming together for you.
A toe pokes you in the leg.
"Move."
"Alexia says that if you're trying to nap on her sofa again then I don't have to move," You tell Alba, who huffs and pokes you with her toe again," She also says that you have your own apartment and should stop mooching of us."
"But Olga's a better cook than me," Alba complains and you roll your eyes.
"Aren't you an adult? Even I can cook."
"Yeah but it's not like you could mooch off your sist-"
Alba falls silent quickly and you pretend to not notice what she was going to say for both hers and your own sakes.
The topic of your sister is kind of off limits when you're in the room. It's not completely banned because Alexia's still Jenni's national teammate but she's not really spoken about if you're in the room.
Alba's face flashes with terror for a moment so you pretend you don't notice her slip up ever though it sends a bolt of lightning into your stomach, a deep pit forming there.
It works for the most part, everyone in the house pretending Jenni isn't who she is to you, pretending that she's just Alexia's teammate and not her friend and ex, pretending that Alexia fostering you isn't her walking on a tight rope because Jenni doesn't know.
All Jenni knows is that you didn't quit when she told you to.
Jenni doesn't know that you live with Alexia. Jenni doesn't know anything. You doubt she even thinks about you when she's got a life far away in Mexico.
She lives there, far away from you and your life here in Barcelona.
She lives there and her presence is hardly ever mentioned around you.
Life is good at Alexia and Olga's house. Life is even good at training, though you could do without the smug little smirk Alexia has on her face when she picks you up.
"You already knew!" You accuse her, waving a finger in her face.
"Knew?" She asks, lips curl up in what can only be described as pure smugness," Knew what?"
"Right, who told you? Go on. Who was it?"
Alexia grins. "You do realise I am the captain? Any time they're looking to bring someone in, they ask me my opinion."
You roll your eyes. "Yeah and I'm sure you gave it."
"You're a good player. A great player," Alexia says," All I did was tell them what they already know."
You look down at your lap, fidgeting with your fingers. You want to be mad at her, to yell at her for keeping this from you. Maybe even yell at her for promising to the staff something you're not but you know she hasn't done that.
If she thought you weren't ready, she would have told them that.
But Alexia didn't. She didn't tell them to let you have a bit more time with the B team. She didn't tell them that you don't quite have what it takes.
"Thanks."
Alexia smiles at you as she drives home, a comfortable silence enveloping you both until your hand is on the door handle.
You stop.
"When I open this door, there's going to be a party, isn't there?"
"I may have told Olga...who told Mami...who told Alba...who told the rest of the family..."
"Is that a yes?"
"Possibly..."
"And there's no getting out of this?"
Alexia ruffles your hair, a soft kiss being pressed to the side of your head. "They're here to celebrate you."
You suck in a breath, just ready to turn the handle when the sound of the lift doors opening chimes down the corridor.
Both you and Alexia turn your heads towards.
It's just a fleeting second.
Just a moment.
But your good mood plummets as the door opens.
Alexia's hand tightens on your shoulder, pushing you slightly behind her and putting herself between you and the elevator.
Between you and Jenni.
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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago
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Various Creepypastas x Reader who sleeps in weird spaces
3/5 of the prizes for @reivelmin !!
Post contains: Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Hoodie, Masky, Ticci Toby, Liu, and Bloody Painter!
I actually dont think I've written for Helen before?? I know I havent written for Liu yet so heres to hoping my takes and hcs are accurate!
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EYELESS JACK
When he first catches you in the closet sleeping nearly standing straight up he nearly yelps. You made the stoic eyeless Jack, the man who rarely flinches or jumps at anything, jolt. Naturally he wakes you up and asks why you're in there, but no answer really satisfies him. He tries to drag you to bed and for the night everything is.. normal. But this will be far from the last time he finds you sleeping in an odd place, seemingly unbothered. He eventually asks if theres something going on with you, even dumbly asking if theres something wrong with the bed.. but alas, nothing. You just.. sleep like that.. he often drags you into bed so you dont get sore or fall over
LAUGHING JACK
He thinks you're pranking him, and of course he starts cracking up. He commends you for getting him good, only for his laughter to die down when he realizes that you are in fact asleep while curled in a cabinet. For a moment he thinks you.. died.. or worse was murdered and stuffed into the odd place. He nearly rips you out of the space before you finally crack an eye open. Please dont scare him like that again, he does not take abandonment well even if the scenario is someone possibly dying. Once the shock is over with and he grows more used to it, the humor he originally found in it returns.. it almost turns into a game of where hes going to find you next and what position you're going to be in.. he does not bother to take you to bed and if theres room hes going to squeeze in with you wherever you are
MASKY
Hes probably done that at least once, he sometimes watches you in your sleep on the occasion that you actually fall asleep in a normal place (bed, couch, ect) and he kind of slumps into the corner he was sulking in. Though you... certainly one up him when he catches you sleeping on top of the fridge! If you're in a hard to reach place or really deep into it he leaves you be without attempting to get you out. Eventually he kind of just accepts that this is something you do and completely leaves you alone unless you're in the way of something. More likely to wake you up than moving you out of the way, though... you've probably gotten jumpscared by him simply standing there waiting for you to wake up
HOODIE
Very similar to Masky but I do think Hoodie would take you to bed so you dont get sick (floors are cold, people!) Or getting a knot somewhere in your muscles. Partly because he will likely be too busy with his work to tend to you, partly also because he can be stern when it comes to your health. Theres no ifs ands or buts, hes taking you to bed and hes going to keep you there! Hes a big dude too, he'll hold you in place next to him if he has to
TICCI TOBY
He gets it, honestly. If it's like a security or a comfort thing or just out of impulse he gets it. You might find him sleeping in ungodly positions when he crashes at your place, or sleeping under the bed. He has used a chair as a blanket before. He might feel inclined to try to one up you, actually. All fun and games of course! He also does not carry you to bed, and similar to LJ he might just join you if theres room! Just be warned when sleeping around him he might draw on your face or something.. definitely takes your phone so he can take pictures of you to make fun of you later
LIU
For a minute he doesnt realize exactly what's going on. He might actually pick your stuffed animal up and give it back to you and shut the door of the closet before ripping it open as he stares at you. Gently shakes your shoulder to wake you up, and while he might have to get a little harsh to actually get you awake hes apologizing for waking you up. So so so many questions. Why are you doing that? Why dont you come to bed? Will not take no for an answer. He wants answers, if there are any. After you offer an explanation hes a lot more understanding about it although still very.. confused. Are you not worried about falling over in your sleep? Or even just waking up uncomfortable...? That aside how do you even.. sleep standing up like that, and how long were you like that..? He just.. accepts it
BLOODY PAINTER
Very neutral about it, but he does entertain you with questions when he catches you awake in the morning. It doesnt matter where you sleep, hes not going to disturb you unless you get in his way. But considering hes claimed a corner in your home for himself and his belongings, you don't have to worry about that! Despite claiming to not mind all that much you still seem to wake up in bed despite falling asleep under it. He'll never admit to moving you, but theres no other person who could have done it.. he also wont ever say it but he does sometimes want you to lay next to him
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churipu · 1 year ago
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jjk men when you wipe their kisses away (as a joke)
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featuring. itadori yuuji, megumi fushiguro, gojo satoru, sukuna ryomen x reader
warnings. cursing :>
note. i've seen this trend on tiktok in the past, and i feel like it's a really cute idea to write about it. hope u enjoy this :D
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ITADORI YUUJI. the first time you did it, he was like "oh? maybe they did it by accident" and the second time you did it, he was like "okay, this is no accident", but said nothing about it before planting another kiss on your cheek — and much to his dismay, you pretended to use your phone as a mirror and wipe your cheek, particularly the place where he just kissed.
"okay, baby, what did i do wrong?" he finally asks you, sitting straight up, "why are you not letting me kiss you?"
you almost folded, but you looked at him innocently, batting your eyelashes, "hm? i don't know what you're talking about," you tell him with a small smile.
yuuji brushed it off and then gave your cheek another peck, before he knows it, you did the same thing again — wiping the place where he just kissed and then he huffs out, "okay y/n, what is wrong with you? do you hate me now? are you breaking up with me?"
he looked like he was about to break down right then and there, so you figured it was time to stop. and then you laughed at him, pulling him into your embrace, "i'm kidding yuuji, it was a joke."
yuuji rolled his eyes and circled his arms around you, "i thought you were breaking up with me. don't do that again," pouty baby.
MEGUMI FUSHIGURO. "why are you doing that?" he asks, and you arched your brow, pretending to be clueless of what he was saying. he shook his head, kissing your cheek (yet again), and to confirm his question, you wiped his kiss off again.
"that, i meant that," he said, "why are you doing that?"
"doing what?" you retorted back.
"bye y/n." he mutters out, obviously not wanting to play with this game of yours — and when you realized he was serious about this "bye" of his, you jumped up and grabbed his arm.
"i'm kidding gumi," you chuckled, and that was all he needed to hear.
megumi planted another kiss on your cheek, "wipe that again and i'm going for real this time," you didn't wipe it off (you were thinking about it though).
"can i have another one?"
megumi rolled his eyes, "no."
GOJO SATORU. hysterical right from the first time you did it, and was throwing a tantrum about how you shouldn't do that because his kiss privileges are special just for you and nobody else, yet this is how you treat him.
"baby, okay, no more kiss privileges for you. you're done, i'm done. we're both done." he mutters out, crossing his arms.
and when you didn't retaliate with his tantrums, he just had to try planting another kiss on your lips — to which you wiped off right after, and (dramatic) gojo takes that as a big insult. he gasps and pulls himself back onto the couch, sinking in with his brows furrowed and he glared at the floor.
"satoru?"
he grumbles under his breath about how everything was so unfair, how the world's such a cruel place, just being dramatic honestly. he glances at you before throwing his gaze to the side.
"satoru, you're such a baby."
again he gasps, "me? a baby? you started this!" lord, how much more dramatic can he get?
"give me a kiss, satoru."
he clicked his tongue, "no. i told you, you lost your kiss privileges."
you shrugged, "fine. i'll ask someone else for it then."
he folded and immediately threw himself on you, peppering kisses all over your face, "don't do that again, baby. why are you wiping my kisses off?"
you laughed, "it's a joke, satoru."
"i don't like this joke."
SUKUNA RYOMEN. caught on the first time you did it, and he grumbled under his breath about how you should be lucky he's willing to give you a kiss in the first place (he will do it all over again, no matter how many times you want it).
"what was that, ryo?" sukuna groans out when he sees your innocent e/c eyes looking at him, "did you say something?"
he said nothing, "i don't fucking like this shit you're playing with me," he said, facing away.
"what shit?" he glances at you, his eyes doing all the talk. and you laugh loudly at his reaction, "oh, you're so adorable," sukuna rolled his eyes, pushing your legs that previously was lying on top of his lap, "hey! come back."
"fuck off."
"give me a kiss, ryo." he ignored you, so you did it yourself — kissing his forehead, "don't be mad, it's a joke, honey."
he could tolerate your jokes about mostly anything, really (because he's madly in love with you), but never when it comes to jokes that could probably ruin your relationship (he never wants to break up with you).
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© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !
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desireangel · 7 months ago
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Dark Cherry [4] | Aemond Targaryen
Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader
Summary: after months of a marriage that hardly harbours the passion that you'd dreamed about, you stumble across the reason for your husband's indifference and decide enough is enough. Aemond will learn just exactly what he's been missing out on.
Word Count: 5.5k
Warnings: MDNI 18+!! canon divergence!!! I fucked the timeline and nigly bits bc this was an impulse fic ok soooo it was mostly unplanned, almost smut, angst, let the grovelling happen babyyy, unedited, mention of alys x aemond but not in a good way :((, infidelity, talk of sex, guilt, mentions of Aegon x reader, hmmm I ramble, little vulnerable Aemond, bad language, let me know if I've missed anything!
Author's note: y'all I was never done with that man like there's no easy out for him :llll. Anyways I wrote most of this instead of studying which I needed to do. Perhaps I'll have my hand at another idea I'm cooking before part 5 but I'm alsoooo unsure about how keen we are to keep this one going - like is it getting too much??? either way, I enjoy writing this. and idk how to shut up, clearly, because I love that internal mind talk shit. Drop your thoughts in my inbox or PM me because I love to yap!!! xoxo, kisses!!! <3
Masterlist
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He was a fool. A spoiled, arrogant and entitled fool. You often thought about whether Aemond actually recognised the effect of his actions on anyone else. It was always ‘I did it for us’ or ‘I did it because I had to do it’.
So after your confrontation the day before, it had surprised you that Aemond had truly believed he was forgiven. Maybe it shouldn’t have. You had, after all, sat beside him and laughed with him. Shared a moment as if things were better. But it was nothing more than a lighthearted acknowledgement that whatever game was being played was entirely ridiculous yet you could feel how something had changed. There was a newfound intensity between the two of you and Aemond had clearly understood that he had made a mistake
But that wouldn't be enough for forgiveness. Things would never really be the same. You will never forget. The nameless woman had made a home in your unconscious mind and everything would remind you of the woman your husband had chosen to take to bed over you. She was beautiful, she was experienced and free of burden. Based on that alone a part of you could see why she could have been a better choice–a part of you that ached and pained ceaselessly. 
And you weren’t sure you could carry on as if Aemond hadn’t thrown your entire world into the pits of ruin. Because that is exactly what he may as well have done. All you had was your marriage to him–a fact that was as painful as it was true. If it all fell apart because of him only you would suffer from it. 
Your name, your family’s name. A Lady born to a house of remarkably lowly nobility with little more than your marriage to the prince. A charity case marriage to tell the realm’s people that the Crown was not so prejudiced as to be above uniting with the likes of your house. That the Lannisters and Baratheons were important but they were not everything. A fabrication only made necessary to cover up the fact that it was a lie–the Targaryens (and even the Hightowers as you had come to realise) really did believe they were of better blood. 
A failure to fulfil your duty to the Targaryen crown as Prince Aemond’s wife would destroy your family name. And you would have no prospect of happiness after it. What else did you have aside from this?
Aemond would never understand that. Because not only was he a man but he was a prince. A privilege, a safety and a security he had inherited through birth. 
Aside from the pressures of society, he had hurt you. Badly. 
Despite your own confliction about it, you did have love for Aemond–how could you not? Love came from many things and while yours may have come from your dependance on his word, on the duty he performed to be your protector as he was to the Crown and its subjects, on his polite affections as limited as they were, it still found its way into your heart. Perhaps it was foolish to allow it entry into your existence when you had already known that there was no love to come from Aemond. 
It didn’t change anything. Betrayed your trust, taken you for granted and destroyed the sanctity of a husband’s loyalty as if he were as dishonourable as any other Lord. 
You would never say it out loud but it had broken your heart. And heartache is a consuming, suffocating and painful thing to feel. A constant lump in your throat, something always weighing your chest down, a disastrous, aching discomfort in your belly. Tears had stained your pillow at night and dried by the morning, the fabric of the linen acquiring the same unphased facade that you would wear as you plastered on a mask of ignorance so that you could continue to live through your day. 
All because you had wanted him. Aemond, who was doomed to disappoint and destroy merely because that is all that princes do. 
For him to have mistaken your truce–the end to the back and forth game that had been wreaking havoc in its wake-as forgiveness was infuriating. He had no idea. 
Well, maybe he did. Now that he had seen you with another just as you had seen him. And you recognised your own experience in the moment he had realised what was happening. 
Aemond’s call to breakfast made you want to laugh. But you had turned him down for afternoon tea just the day before only to be found swallowing his brother’s seed. You winced at the shamefulness of your thought, muttering a quick prayer for the sake of your piety whether it was genuine or not. 
He was seated lazily in the chair he favoured, an array of food spread across the table. There was a book in his hand. The same one he had taken from you the last time you had shared your morning meal together. Aemond had a smirk playing on his lips. 
You cleared your throat, curtsying before sitting down at the other end of the table to him and with as much distance between you as you could muster. “Good morrow, my Prince,”
“Formalities, I see,” He looked at you through his lashes. It was odd seeing him so relaxed, the tension that was always in his shoulders had been lost and there was a playful glint to his eye. You wanted to smack it out. “I believed we were past titles and distance for the sake of propriety, my sweet. As well as rigid greetings.”
All you responded with was a stare. 
Dropping the book to his side, Aemond sighed and leaned forward, pouring tea into a cup. He stood, taking a couple steps forward to hand it to you. “We have fixed-”
“We have fixed nothing.”
“I am trying to turn a new leaf,” he commanded. You took the cup and saucer from his hand, the warm waft of vanilla and rose giving you a slight reprieve from the threat that rolled off his tongue. “If you do not recall, dear wife, I as well have every reason to resent you. The image of you sucking on my useless brother’s cock is not one I can easily bare. Yet I have chosen to let it be. I could have easily decided otherwise.”
“That would make you a hypocrite.” You glanced at him over the rim of your teacup. 
“It does not matter much if I am a hypocrite, does it?” Aemond sat, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He wasn’t bothered with the food in front of him, focused solely on you. “I hardly see how that would change anything.”
You squirmed under the intensity of his stare, picking up a cherry from the bowl of fruits and rolling the stem between your fingers. “It matters to me. Certainly, it matters for your reputation among the smallfolk. Nobody cares for a selfish prince, my dear.”
Aemond hummed, smirking at the venom you spat at him. You noticed the coin that he rolled between his fingers, nimble and thoughtless as if it were like breathing. Not so much a nervous habit but a thoughtful one. 
He couldn’t lie and say that he didn’t enjoy your confidence. It was refreshing. But there was a dip in his gut at the thought that there was no hope for the two of you. Aemond, ever logical, knew he had no one else to blame but himself with his lack of foresight and failure to see beyond the now and here. 
Because Aemond had not even considered how things would go on should you not forgive him. He had assumed that you would if not merely on the basis that there was little lost from a relationship that hardly existed in the first place. You had love for him and he was so convinced that such a thing would be impossible that he didn’t consider that it would cause you heartache beyond slighted offence and jealousy. 
A violet eye lingered on the cherry that remained between your fingers. Aemond was good at putting on an act. He thought for a moment that he would rather take lashes to his back than have you know that he had no idea how to love someone properly. A part of him was persuaded that he was incapable of being a good lover. The lashes seemed like a blissful gift compared to the self-loathing that simmered in his belly at the probability that he had ruined any chance your marriage had of recovery.  
It crossed his mind that it was his ignorance towards you right from the beginning that had damned your relationship. 
Either way, it did not help that you had turned to his brother for intimacy. Aemond felt his blood scorch whenever that invaded his mind. He wanted to crumble the walls of this fortress when he wondered if Aegon had enjoyed your womanhood. Jealousy did motivate him well, he realised, and Aemond had the murderous urge to feed Aegon to Vhagar. 
Nonetheless, he feigned amusement. “It seems as if you care for one.”
You ate the cherry. It was sweet and rich. All you replied with was an upturn of your chin as you gracefully held a small embroidered towel to your lips.
“So I am not forgiven?” Aemond had to break the silence before it cut him open. “Are we not even?”
Narrowing your eyes at him, you held back a surprised laugh. “You never apologised. Not that it would make any difference.”
“That does not answer my question.”
“Of course you are not forgiven,” you sighed. The tea cup hit the table with a clang. Your disdain for his actions and his ignorance gave you an unfettered confidence around him which you weren’t accustomed to. It made it very difficult to control yourself. “And no, we are not even, my Prince. And since you have brought it to my attention, I am of half a mind to find Aegon and offer him a meal between my thighs. You see, I have often wondered how it would feel and I expect that our King would be happy to indulge my… curiosities.”
Aemond sneered, a silent one that was more visible in his intake of a breath, the curl of his lips and the hardening of his eye. Bullseye. 
It took him less than a couple seconds to be on his knees in front of where you sat, a strong hand tightly gripping each side of your thighs over the thick fabrics of your dress. He had shoved the table aside, unphased as tea spilled and fruits and cheeses toppled to the floor. Something in the look of bewilderment on your face had Aemond ready to both grin at your clueless innocence and frown at your shock.
Aemond didn’t let himself dwell on the fact that you had given up on expecting such pleasures from him. He was your husband; nothing about what he was clearly intending on doing to you should surprise you. Cursing himself to perdition would not be enough for how he has failed you. 
“I feel obliged to remind you that we had agreed,” he grazed his nose across your knees, looking up at you through his eyelashes, jaw clenched tight as he all but growled his words. “That there will be no more of this foolishness. Not from you and not from me.”
It was an onslaught of different things that had rendered you still and silent. The way Aemond looked at you like you were the only satiating force for his eternal hunger, the wordless mixture of desire and anger in how his fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs, the desperation in his voice, strained by the fear that you would. Or was it the overwhelming feeling that Aemond was finally taking some accountability and that maybe he recognised not what his actions were but the meaning that they carried?
For a moment Aemond just looked at you, conflicted and fragmented and unguarded. The sight of him like this reminded you of a vulnerable child. But it didn’t last long before the menacing, cautionary glint was back in his eye, his posture becoming rigid as shuffled the fabrics of your skirts. 
A new kind of anxiety overcame you. Not like the insignificant nervousness you had felt that night when you had wandered into his chambers or used his leg to make yourself peak and not like the clueless apprehension with Aegon. It formed a ball in your chest and made it hard to breathe. 
There was no chance he would ever admit it but you could see Aemond’s vulnerability and desperation within the hardened facade he had perfected. He wanted nothing more than to seem strong and powerful at all times, worthy of acclaim and reverence. But here he was, willing to stay on his knees and worship you forever, all under the pretence of rageful infatuation. 
It was too hot. Even with the cool of the shadows cast by the dark net curtains that only let in enough daylight to see clearly and not enough to cause Aemond irritation from sensitivity in his eye, it was so warm you worried you would have to rip the sleeves off of your dress.
You were snapped out of your thoughts when Aemond let out a soft, dark groan, running his fingers across the expanse of your legs over your stockings, your skirts already bunched at your hips. Skin burning at his touch, you couldn’t help the way you whined and squeezed your thighs together, squirming under the intensity of his gaze. 
His voice was heavy with the burden of lust and regret. “I will be better. In all the ways that I have failed you and more. Your forgiveness, I realise, is not as easily granted as I presumed but I will show you that I am worthy of it.” 
There was a moment of weakness in your mind before you caught yourself. You didn’t quite believe him. It had clearly been too easy for him to give you empty promises and there was no reason why things would be different now. 
It was odd. Seeing Aemond weak like this. 
What would it mean if you let him continue? It was clearly different this time. You couldn’t put it into words exactly but there was a rawness, a blitz of different emotions that set things ablaze and made you want to both weep and mewl for him. 
You couldn’t spare a thought about why it was different. Aemond was right there, a weaponised Prince on his knees for you, a lowly Lady with nothing more to offer him than yourself. Since when did you hold all this power over him? 
That night in his bedchambers and last night when you had shared a laugh despite everything that had unfolded felt detached in a way. When you had allowed yourself release over his leg it was simply that. A way to ease the tension he had put in your body and a way to leave him wanting.
Aemond’s eye swam with a tenderness you had not seen from him. He continued to look up at you waiting to gauge your response. It was a slight nod of your head which had his hands tearing at the soft fabric of your stockings, his lips instantly meeting the skin of your knees before you had the chance to even gasp. All the while, he kept his eye on you as if his heart would cease to beat if he could not watch the way you reacted to him. 
It became increasingly harder to breathe. There were so many thoughts, so many sensations that you struggled to put it all together. Your flushed with anticipation, your cunt throbbed at the wet plushness of his lips on your hot skin and your hips squirmed at what was to come. 
Your mind, however, flashed with the image of Aemond, exactly as he was now, between another woman’s thighs. A woman who didn’t flinch at the unfamiliar touch, who didn’t jerk away at the foreign feeling of being pleasured. You wondered if he would be so angered at the prospect of another man’s mouth on her womanhood, if her skin felt softer or more rough on his lips and if he looked at her with the same heated need.
It made you feel sick. 
Aemond let himself enjoy the way your thighs tensed, pulling your smallclothes off of you as much as carefully as he could under the restriction of your skirts. There was an urge to rip the entire dress off but he knew it would be a step too far. He couldn’t help the low sounds that left him, sounds he couldn’t recognise. The expanse of your thighs and the sight of your flushed, hot cunt in front of him made his mouth water with a hunger that would have shocked him had he not been so distracted by your scent. 
Without complete vision, Aemond had learned to train his sense of touch, taste, smell and hearing to make up for the disadvantage he was stuck with. They were always slightly heightened compared to those who never needed the compensation of senses but in the cloud of desire and lust, he was sensitive. 
You whined at the way his tongue glided over your skin, biting down hard but not hard enough to be painful on the flesh of your upper thigh so close to where you needed to feel him. But Aemond was always remarkably patient and he merely made way to your other leg, repeating his ministrations and licking you from your knee to where he bit you at your thigh. 
The haze that had possessed you made you lose track of your thoughts so easily. Still, they fought their way to the forefront of your mind at every chance they could and you were reminded of her. 
Aemond’s mind was overwhelmed by you. There was no power in the realm that could make him think of anything else, not with the way you were trembling under his feathered touch and making such beautiful sounds for him, and not when he desired for anyone else apart from you. 
A heavy breath of shame and excitement tumbled out of you at how lewdly he dragged the tip of his nose across your thigh, pressing it into the flesh that sat above your slick, aching cunt and inhaling. You clenched around nothing, your clit twitching at the sound of Aemond’s unabashed groan. 
He grasped at your hips and your legs, his fingers burying into your flesh and tugging as if there would never be enough of you in his hands. It would have driven you into a similarly desperate state had things been different. 
The prince between your thighs was a sight to behold. Aemond’s skin was flushed pink, his eyepatch slightly out of place and his hair tousled from the way your legs clenched and unclenched against his head. He was almost drooling, mumbling about how good you smelled and how perfect and pretty your cunt was for him. His cock had never been so hard, constricted by the stiff leather of his training attires. 
Aemond enjoyed being a tease but there was only so much he could handle himself. While he wanted you to crave for him the way he was craving you so unbearably, Aemond needed to taste you. He needed to make you feel the blinding pleasure he should have been giving you at every chance he had since the night you were married. He needed to show you the ways of unbridled human desire and to show you all the ways your body could come undone and fall apart only to feel completely whole and fulfilled. 
There was no changing the past but Aemond would make up for how completely inattentive he had been. He would show you all the more fervently. When Aemond placed an open mouthed kiss just above your slit, letting a string of his spit glide off of his tongue onto your sensitive pussy, you shuddered.
All at once your mind was once again taken over by unsavoury thoughts. It had your eyes welling with tears, a familiar lump lodging in your throat, threatening to come out in a devastated sob. There was a ringing in your ears and you were back at Aemond’s door, peeking in only to see him giving that woman the same touch he was giving you right now. He had seemed so enthralled by her and the way she must have tasted. It was as if he’d been there before, indulging in her with so much passion it rivalled how eagerly touched you in this moment. 
Did her smell fill his veins with fire as yours was? Did her scent alone make his cock as painfully hard as yours did? Did her cunt drip for him the way yours did? Was the hunger in his eye shining for her too?
It was terrifying to consider. 
Aemond would spend hours here, he had decided. His duties for the day could be damned to the hells for all he cared. There was a rumbling in his chest for what he saw in front of him, inviting him to indulge and filling his mind with senseless ardour. Aemond let himself enjoy just the scent of you, his eye fluttering shut and his nose gently resting above your folds as he breathed you in, caressing your thighs softly with his hands. As if he were starved for years, Aemond salivated and with no patience left within him, he brought his lips downwards to meet the precious cunt he had been dreaming of. 
With a whimper that you couldn’t hold back, you jerked away from him. Aemond pulled away in surprise, his gaze full of confusion and lust and insecurity. “Wait, my love—“
You had slipped free of his grasp, a strangled cry escaping no matter how hard you tried to keep it in. There was one tear that slipped free, followed by countless more and you couldn’t look at him anymore, couldn’t bear to see that he was hurt before scrambling away from him. 
She was stuck in your mind. The memory of Aemond’s little trysts with her replaying behind your eyes no matter how hard you tried to shut it out. It was clear that there was nothing you could do to get ahold of yourself because everytime you looked at him, so enthralled in you and your sex, she was there. 
Laughing at you in the back of your mind, as if she had taken residence in a permanent place in your head, enjoying the state of despair and madness she and Aemond had led you to. 
But she couldn’t be in your head. Not really. Not in the way it felt she was. 
You barely glanced back at Aemond through your tears, struggling to even your breathing and calm the rapid beating of your heart. He hadn’t moved much; just simply stayed there frowning at the space that you had once occupied on the chair. 
There was nothing he could do to change things. Aemond knew that as well as you did. But there was a pain in your heart at the way he looked so defeated, so guilty that it almost seemed like he would melt into a puddle of remorse. A far stretch from the usual stoic warrior that you had known him as.
“My prince, I–” you swallowed, your voice catching when he looked up at you with a wide eye and furrowed eyebrows. For a moment you remembered that he had no right - but he was trying, was he not? “I cannot continue with this knowing that you had touched her like this. It angers me and it upsets me and it pains me to think of it but ‘tis beyond my control.”
He stayed silent, observing the way you hid yourself from him and struggled to meet his gaze. There was a sullen look to you, one you had not entered with and it stuck needles in his flesh to think that he had been the cause of it. Aemond’s entire body felt hot and he was itching to tear off his leathers. He wished the gods would strike him down as he was for hurting you so.
You had turned away, disappearing from his quarters swiftly. You would never forget the image of how you had left him there–it was both satisfying and devastating. 
Aemond, still on his knees for the ghost of you, his expression tortured and his shoulders tensed. It was a pathetic sight, should anyone stumble upon it, but you considered it beautiful. Beautiful in a lethal, catastrophic manner. Not unlike himself; a weaponised source of destruction who had a tendency to bring torment upon those he loved. 
The rest of your day had been spent alone in your chambers. You hadn’t cried so much over any of it until now. The tears and sobs that you had held inside of yourself for weeks had forced themselves out, along with the emotions you had pushed down until you could no longer. 
Aemond had a certain control while you were sitting in that seat, skirts bunched to your stomach and quivering for him to have his way. Regardless, the power was still yours and you knew that it was Aemond who was wrapped tightly around your finger at that moment. He would have listened to anything you had said–done anything you had told him to do. 
Perhaps you had become too stubborn in your anger to have let yourself feel anything else. A retributive anger; one that sprouted from the lack of love that existed in your marriage and reached a climax at Aemond’s brazen adultery. And it only grew stronger in whatever back and forth Aemond had encouraged by dangling his whore in front of your face. 
Whatever it was, you were feeling so much more now than you had before. 
Or perhaps it was because you could see that Aemond was remorseful. He would never yet admit it but you knew from the way he had behaved since you had visited him in his bed. It was no act of redemption and definitely no apology but it was impossible to ignore the change in him. You had never seen Aemond the way you had seen him this morning. 
Vulnerable, gentle, tormented. 
A knock on your door had you sniffling and wiping away any tear stains that may have lingered on your cheeks. You had stopped crying for some time but the need to wallow and lament had stayed. When you called out to ask, the guard at your door notified you of the Dowager Queen’s presence. 
Oh, seven hells. 
There was really no chance you could refuse her so you merely let her in and called a servant to bring some refreshments. Queen Alicent sat herself down but remained tense, carefully watching you as you took a place beside her. 
“Have you been crying?” Her concern was comforting. “I believe I know why.”
You straightened, not meeting the eye of the woman who reached a tender hand to your knee. Hiding behind a forced smile, you let out a breathy laugh. “I am certain the entirety of the Red Keep knows, Your Grace.”
“It has been known for some time,” Alicent was gentle, her cautionary gaze telling you that she was apprehensive about bringing her son’s misadventures up. You held your breath. “Since the first time he had summoned that Alys woman-”
“Alys? Is that her name?”
“You do not know?” There was a tense silence. Alicent couldn’t meet your gaze, pity swimming across her features. Aemond was her son and there were many things that she had let her sons get away with but her heart pained at the broken quiver in your voice. 
Alicent had noticed the change in Aemond since the night that you had found him with Alys. The second time. He had never paid much attention to you aside from what appearances required yet Alicent knew her son far more than he would be willing to accept. She had known that there was something in his heart for you, no matter how small and no matter how it dwindled until set alight. 
Aemond had done the wrong thing. She had no doubts about that. Alicent would have words with him once she figured out what to say to him. But he was her son and there were certain misdoings that she knew she had to defend them through. To protect his marriage, his image and his happiness. The Queen Dowager cleared her throat and reached for your hand, eyebrows furrowing at the way you stared down at your lap, the anguish you felt in your heart written clearly across your face. 
“I understand that you are hurting, my dear. Although my husband remained faithful to me until his death and I cannot quite imagine the pain in your heart–I see how you have love for my son, even if you nor him have known it, I do understand,” Alicent took a breath, closing her eyes. “This is the way of men. And princes–”
“Please, Your Grace, I mean this with utmost respect for you but I do not wish to hear your excuses,” you whispered. There was a prickly, breathless worry that had settled in your gut. What did you not know? Was this Alys someone who mattered? “But I would like to know what you are withholding from me about this woman. I believe I deserve that at the very least.”
Alicent stared at you for a moment, examining you. She could drive her son further into the ground with what she was about to say. “Aemond had a paramour–at least it was rumoured, he never spoke of such things with me. Alys Rivers, a wetnurse and servant woman from Harrenhal.”
“A paramour?”
“It was before you were married,” Alicent was quick to clarify. “I had assumed that Aemond wanted nothing more to do with her when she left–at his order, I believe. Some say she was a witch. Perhaps she enchanted him.” 
You couldn’t look at her. She was more than just a whore? Had he lied to you right from the beginning? Bile rose up in your throat. There was a thrum in your ears, the sound of your own heartbeat and you feared that you would be sick from the drop in your gut. 
“Did he love her? Could he still?”
Alicent sucked in a breath. “I do not know, my child.”
All you could do was nod pathetically. Alicent was a woman of great strength and dedication; you had once wished to be much like her one day. But as you sat beside her now, you wished she had been a liar and a cheat and a meddling gossip. That you could find a way to fault her words but you could tell it caused her great difficulty to speak of Aemond’s actions honestly. 
Ever poised and elegant, Alicent only leaned forward to you, her posture straight as a needle and her touch soft as linen. “I did not mean to upset you further. I only meant to speak with you about returning to Courtly activities, with the other Ladies and Helaena has been asking for you. And the Ladies speak–”
“They speak terribly of me,” you scoffed, allowing a humourless laugh. “I understand, Your Grace. I will return to spending my days in company other than my own.”
Alicent hated to pry but she felt that she must, now that she had dealt her cards against Aemond’s fate. “Perhaps you should speak with Aemond. He cares for you deeply. It would be a shame for your union to fall apart over such misunderstandings.”
If not for formality, you would have rolled your eyes. Again, you simply nodded, your mind reeling back to the woman that Alicent had given a name to. You would ask Aemond about her. It would be the less damning option rather than turning to Aegon once more but the idea of speaking to Aemond about a woman he may once have loved still made you want to crawl underneath the sheets of your bed and disappear. 
You thought of the woman who you had seen through the crack in the door and wished you had taken extra care in looking at her. There was little you could recall other than the darkness and length of her hair, the paleness of her skin and the perfection in her curves as she pleasured Aemond and as he did the same for her. 
As if she was familiar with all the things that made him weak. All the things that made Aemond weak. How she had touched him like she was an expert in his body. And you thought of Aemond, bare and comfortable with her. Aemond with his sapphire glimmering under the lamplight instead of an eye, a rawness and trust that you had never seen of him until that night. 
He trusted her.
Alys Rivers. 
.....................................................
Tagging: @padfooteyes @thedyingwriter @mamawiggers1980 @queenofshinigamis @ewanmitchellfanatic @nurtargaryen
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strawberry-lychee · 8 months ago
Text
self-care night w/ simon
self-care, charcuterie, and movie night with simon <3 he literally doesn't care what for dinner as long as you're for dessert!! tags: a little nsfw, but mostly fluff and loving on simon, i wanna appreciate the quiet moments you get with him <333 a/n: i dont think i've written fanfic since i was 17/18 but my current hyper fixation is ghost and so the brain worms need to come out
'girl dinner~ girl dinner~~~ giiiiirlll dinner~~~~' you sing to yourself, laying out slices of a freshly baked baguette, prosciutto, brie, strawberries, and other delectable little treats along the long cutting board.
youre at simon's flat right now since he's on leave and you both want to spend every second together that you can!! while simon was at the gym, you went to go get snacks for a movie night in together!! you had big plans to stay in and do nothing!! you weren't sure if everything you had planned was really simon's thing but you loveddd a little self-care night and you know that if you love it, simon's always game to play along (he's so sweet to you like that!!)
simon comes out of the bathroom, fresh out of the shower. his hair's still a bit wet and he's wearing a soft worn black t shirt and matching black boxer briefs. it takes all your willpower to not be a horny little shit and start something right now. "'m ready," he tells you.
"ooo yay!!" you cheered, excited. you had specially requested that simon let you do his skincare after showering.
he watches you gingerly setting the charcuterie board on the coffee table. he notices that there's already a glass of whiskey waiting for him. there were also two wine glasses sitting on the table adjacent to a pink wine bottle. and everything was sitting on top of these ceramic coasters you picked out and painted as a surprise for him during one of your first dates <3
simon watches you bounce over to him. you've already changed into one of his shirts and some little shorts. he's undressing you in his head as you take his hand and guide him back into the bathroom.
the corner of his lip quirks upwards as he lifts you by your waist onto the bathroom counter so you can have easy access to his face. you slide to sit closer to the edge so simon can stand right in between your legs.
your toiletry bag was already sitting on the counter. you dig through it pulling out tiny bottles of toners and serums and moisturizer. simon listens intently as you explain what each one does. you shake some toner onto your plans and massage it into simon's face. he closes his eyes and leans into your touch, content and safe. sometimes his mind wanders off to other things -- chores he still needs to get done, if his mom and dad were ever like this, flashbacks to the mission he just completed -- but your soft touch brings him back to the present. simon sits and revels as you work through each step, gently and lovingly massaging the potion you've brewed especially for him into his face. into the scars lining his jaw and cheeks. into the wrinkles of his skin from hours of stress, of laying in the sun, scoping out his target, of fretting about why you're still here, with him.
simon's resting his hands on your thighs, and he gives them the gentlest squeeze. it's a silent reassurance to himself -- that you're really there. with him. the prettiest bird he's ever met is in his little flat welcoming him home from deployment. he still doesn't understand how or why there's a soft spot in your heart for a brute like him, but he's learning to stop questioning it. he's learning that maybe he does deserve you after all. maybe simon does get to be happy.
"almost done~, just gotta do some lip balm next" you chime. simon grunts in acknowledge, his eyes still closed. he can't see anything, but he hears you pull out something else from your toiletries bag. you unscrew it, a moment passes, and simon barely registers the scent of strawberries before feeling your lips press up against his.
simon contently moans into the kiss, thinking about the passionate sex you two had last night... and this morning and right before he went to the gym. he raises his hands to firmly brace your hips against his. before simon has the chance to start nipping at your lips, you pull away and say, "all done!"
you even take a finger to swipe some excess lip balm off the corner of his mouth before you giggle and slip off the bathroom counter, absolutely aware of the effect you have on him. you love being his little minx <3
you walk over plop down on the couch and smile at simon, patting on the seat next to you, inviting him to join. for now, he ignores the growing tent in his boxers.
as soon as he sits down, you scooch up against his side and he raises his arm to wrap it around your shoulders. as you rest your cheek on him, simon feels a warmth creep up inside. you two fit together like pieces of a puzzle. before meeting you, what did he even do while he was on leave? this is the most at ease he's felt in a long time. the long lonely nights of sitting by himself on his couch, trying to figure out what to do next are in the past.
you turn to plant a kiss on his shoulder. there's a part of simon that preens under the ample attention you shower him with.
"you wanna try a bite of all this?" you asked. simon knows you're talking about the charcuterie board you put together, but he's thinking about something else he'd like a bite of 👀 👀
simon doesn't even have to give you a verbal response, he just opens his mouth and you slide in a delicate little bite of baguette and brie with a drizzle of honey on top into his mouth. he chews and chews, and relishes it. simon's never been one for 'fancy' food like this, but the fact that you prepared it for him warms his heart. it's been a long time since someone's made food for him. simon nods thoughtfully and takes a sip of his whiskey. "that's fuckin' gourmet right there," he says.
you giggle again. "im so glad you like it!!" you say. it sends a chill down simon's back.
oh, he could get used to this.
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sevgilimsatoru · 13 days ago
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Error: 410 (Self Aware!AU Caleb Edition) Part 9
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15
Summary: A self aware!AU with Caleb and NonMC! reader.
Tags: Caleb x reader, Caleb x NonMC! reader, Caleb x fem!reader, fluff, angst (slightly) Stressedout!reader. Hypersexual!reader
Word count: 1k
Inspired by: @ittybittyfanblog
"Separated steps; that made this vow; We’ll walk together forever. Now we share this sorrow. wet eyes that used to peek through windows; are now trapped in this suffocation like this. breath is confused; mind is troubled;Why is this heartache happening, my love?"
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You were sitting at your desk, working on a project. A study session is going on with Caleb. The scratching of your pen against the page, the sounds of keys clicking on your laptop vibrating through the room.
"Are you actually getting some work done, or are you just staring at me?" You asked, glancing up at Caleb. His cheek pressed against the back of his hand, looking at you with a smile on his face.
"Don't worry about me, sunshine. Just focus on yourself." He said, his eyes fixed on the necklace around your neck. You had brought yourself an exact replica of his necklace—it was merch, and you loved the look on his face when he first saw you wearing it.
"Oh, I'm focused. In fact, I'm almost finished with my work." You said, ending the study session. Leaning back in your chair, you sighed. You were just looking at him, admiring him, and it seemed like he was doing the same.
Until Caleb walked closer and closer to the screen, his hand pressing up against an invisible barrier. You reached out, putting your finger on the phone screen where the palm of his hand was.
"How could you just pretend that this doesn't bother you? Huh?" Caleb asked softly, his face twisting into a frustrated expression. He looked tired, his jaw clenched as his cold eyes stared into your own.
You couldn't act like it didn't bother you. The distance that was always going to be there between you two. The fact you could never reach out and feel his skin on yours. You were still trying to grapple with the realization, and it seemed like Caleb was done believing this idea.
"It does, but what could I even do? You are not a part of my world, and I'm not a part of yours… I've accepted it, you know? The fact that… this is all our relationship is going to be. I'm okay with it."
"Well, I'm not. I can't do this. I just—" Caleb said, letting out a shaky breath. His eyebrows were furrowed, a deep frown on his face, and you were sure his lower lip trembled slightly.
"How could you expect me to just sit here and wait, knowing that I won't be able to protect you if something happens?" What am I going to do if you get in trouble? I can't protect you from the other side of the screen."
"What if… one day, you just leave and never come back?" I wouldn't even know what happened... I would be left with buried memories of you. I…I can't lose you, sunshine." Caleb said, his voice cracking slightly at the ends.
"Caleb, I'll be fi-"
"Like hell, you would be fine. No one knows what is going to happen in the future. You can't promise me something that you aren't yourself aware of."
Your eyes flickered over his face. His words worried you, not for yourself but for him. "Caleb, is everything alright?" You muttered, leaning closer to your phone screen, pressing your forehead against it.
Caleb did the same, leaning in to press his forehead against the screen. He didn't reply. Your breathing was the only thing you could hear along with the faint background music of the game.
"I'm fine, sunshine. I couldn't help but be worried. I'm sorry if I scared you…" He said, keeping his eyes closed. Maybe then, he could pretend you were really there, beside him.
"It's alright…" You said, letting out a huff.
"Can I ask you for a favor, baby? It's a pretty big ask if I'm being honest."
"Of course, anything at all." You replied you weren't sure why you agreed… maybe because you just wanted him to feel better.
"Promise me that you will take care of yourself when I'm gone," Caleb said. You looked up to see his eyes were already on you.
Your eyes widened at his words. Did you hear him right? "What are you talking about…?"
"I'm going to try and find a way to you. I can't live like this… so close to you yet so far away. It'll kill me if I stay put any longer without you beside me. I can't wake up to an empty bed and dream of you beside me. I want to make that dream of myself for you… for us."
"And you are going to make that decision for me now?" You asked, the hopeful look on his face tugged on your heartstrings, but you just couldn't let him do this.
If you said yes, who knows if he'll actually ever find a way to you? You were fine with this as long as he was with you.
"Please… sunshine. You know that's not what I mean…"
"Of course, I do. But how long would that take you? Days, months, years… maybe our entire lifetime. You can't leave me like this—waiting for you like a dog." You said your words were sharp. You understood his intentions, but you couldn't agree with them.
"Sunshine… Don't you trust me?"
"Of course, I trust you. Have you even thought about the consequences of your actions in the world you live in?"
"Everything in your world might just get destroyed if you aren't there. Do you even care about that?"
"No, I don't. I don't care about what will happen. I'll do it. As long as it gets me to you…" Caleb said, leaning closer to the screen to caress your cheek. You instinctively leaned in even though you couldn't feel it.
"Trust me… I'll find my way to you even if it's the last thing I do. You'll wait for me. Won't you?" Caleb asked, looking at you. Trying to soak your presence in for maybe the last time.
"I'll wait for forever if I have to," you replied, giving him a crooked smile. Sniffling as tears filled your eyes. "I love you, you know…"
"I love you too."
"See you soon, sunshine. Take care of yourself, okay?" He said, giving you his signature smile.
You nodded in response. Watching the screen of your phone turn black. Your phone restarted, the phone screen lighting up.
Your fingers curled around the necklace around your neck, the coldness of the metal seeping into your warm fingers. You sat there in silence in your empty apartment.
Tag list: @beewilko @browneyedgirl22 @aneertawrites @etsuniiru @demon-master-zero @angstylittleb1tch @mcdepressed290 @ittybittyfanblog @winwinwrites @alifyairl @huhleighna @calebsbeanpeeler @bookworrm1999 @mentaltrouble2201 @noxus123 @babyx91 @multisstuff @beomluvrr @sunnylittleapple @lunia-likes-pomegranet @imhere2dosomething @lostpsycho13
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melercies · 3 months ago
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pairing(s): nam-gyu x (gender-neutral) reader headcanons (squid game + post-squid game)
warning(s): dark/toxic relationship dynamics, including manipulation, gaslighting, possessiveness, emotional/psychological abuse, violence, obsessive behaviors, power struggles, mature/suggestive themes in some parts, death (nam-gyu + reader separately), drug/alcohol mentioned, my best interpretation of the character and lowercase use intended.
author's note: i decided to write some relationship headcanons when it comes to nam-gyu specifically. i will eventually write for thanos too, but at the moment, this guy is rotting in my brain. <//3 please let me know if i missed anything! likes, reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated!
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when it comes to nam-gyu, his idea of love is driven by his deep need for some sort of validation. if he feels that you're not paying enough attention to him, he might resort to making subtle gestures, lingering touches here and there or making you feel guilty for not putting him first.
your eyes gaze onto his figure, noticing the sudden shift in his demeanor. he was practically sulking and was slightly distant, trying to get you to notice him again, whether being more charming or taking actions that demand attention. "how can you be so cold to me? after everything i've done for you?"
for nam-gyu, love isn't about mutual respect or a deep emotional connection. it's about ownership. he wants to feel like he has you, body and soul. it makes him see love as some sort of possession, not someting fluid or free. you are his, and he makes sure you know it. clearly, he enjoys the power struggles in the relationship, pushing you to your limits just to see and test if you'll stay with him.
nam-gyu would never admit it, but he has a deep insecurity within him that drives for his actions where he is terrified of being abandoned, of not being enough. under all that exterior of his, there's a childlike need for affection and approval. the problem is that this vulnerability of his is masked by his pride and narcissim, making him push you away even if he desperately needs you.
sometimes when you call him out on his behavior, he'll twist your words, making you question yourself. he has his ways of making you feel guilty, even when he's the one in the wrong.
the dormitory was dim, the faint hum of distant murmurs filling the tense air. you sit on the cold floor, arms wrapped around your knees, trying to process what just happened. nam-gyu crouches in front of you, hands on his thighs, tilting his head with that infuriating smirk. "c'mon, you're really giving me the silent treatment?"
you glance up at him, jaw tight. "you didn't have to do that." your voice shakes with frustration. "that guy wasn't a threat. you didn't have to—"
"oh, so now i'm the bad guy?" he scoffs, rolling his eyes before leaning in, his hands settling on your shoulders. his grip was firm, gentle enough to seem affectionate in a way, but strong enough to remind you who's in control. "i did what i had to do. he was looking at you like he had a chance. what was i supposed to do? let him think you were up for grabs?"
you shake your head, trying to pull away, but he holds you still. "that's not what this is about, nam-gyu! you—"
"shhh," he coos, pressing a finger to your lips. "you're overthinking again, sweetheart. i know it's scary in here, but i'm looking out for you. you know i wouldn't let anything happen to you, right?" his tone is soothing, almost sweet—like he's comforting you. like he didn't just break a man's fingers for daring to talk to you.
you hate how your resolve starts to crack.
he leans closer, his forehead almost touching yours. "you trust me, don't you?" his voice drops, low and coaxing. "i only do this because i care about you. you'd rather be with some nobody who can't even protect you?"
the worst part? some twisted part of you believed him. he cups your face, brushing his thumb over your cheek as his lips ghost over your ear. "just stick with me. i'll get us out of here. you don't have to worry about anything—i'll do the hard part." the weight of his words felt like they were pressing down on you like a collar around your throat. and just like that, he wins. again.
nam-gyu makes it clear from the start: you stick with him, and he'll keep you alive. but it's not out of pure love—it's about ownership. his protection feels suffocating, but in a skeptical place like this, it's certainly better than being alone.
he'll steal extra food if he can, but he won't always share. if he does, it's usually because he's in a good mood, but pretends to not act as if he doesn't care—or because he likes seeing you beg for it. it was ridiculous.
"fine, fine. here, open your mouth," he teases, pressing a piece of stale bread to your lips. "see how generous i am?" if you hesitate, he tuts, shoving it into your mouth himself. "what, you don't trust me?"
the sleeping quarters are chaos, but nam-gyu always makes sure you're curled up besides him. sometimes, he keeps an arm around your waist to make sure you don't wander and let himself know that your presence is still by his side. especially within these fucked-up kid games.
when he suspects or catches someone else getting a bit too close to you, it doesn't end well for them unfortunately. a fellow player offers to help you? oh, no problem. nam-gyu makes it a personal mission for himself to make sure they don't make it through the next game or their life a living hell. he doesn't even try to hide it.
"told you not to talk to just anyone. guess they didn't listen." he spoke, shrugging, your eyes stare at him in disbelief after he had killed them.
nam-gyu practically lives for the moments where he can get under your skin—physically and emotionally. he loves watching every of your reactions, the way you try to act unaffected when he's so close, touching you just enough to leave you aching for more. no matter how many times you try to push your mind off of him.
whispers of alliances, occasional scuffle, and the ever-present tension of survival was all there was, but none of that mattered right now. not with the way nam-gyu had you backed against the cold metal bunk, his hands braced on either side of you.
"thought you were gonna sleep without saying goodnight?" he murmurs, voice dripping with amusement. his eyes gleam under the dim lighting, filled with something dark, something..hungry.
you huff, trying to push past him, but he doesn't budge. instead, he presses closer, his breath ghosting over your lips. "tsk. rude," he drawls. "after everything i've done for you? keeping you safe, feeding you...and you won't even give me a little gratitude?"
you glare at him, but your resolves wavers when his fingers brush against your hip—just barely, just enough to make your eyes glance down and breath hitch. his smirk deepens, that teasing little shit. he knows.
"what's wrong?" he coos, tilting his head. "nervous?" his hand slides lower, skimming the waistband of your uniform, teasing and testing as he watches your face for any reactions. you swallow hard, glancing at the other players—most of them asleep, others too wrapped up in their own survival to even care. still, the risk sends a thrill up your spine.
nam-gyu notices. he thrives on it.
his lips brush against your jaw—so light, so fleeting it almost doesn't happen. then, just as you start to lean in, he pulls back with a quiet chuckle. your eyes widening slightly by him retracting. "get some sleep," he whispers, his thumb tracing slow circles against your hip before finally stepping away. "you'll need your energy for tomorrow." and just like that, he's gone—leaving you breathless, flustered, and completely at his mercy.
usually it doesn't happen all the time, but sometimes, rare quiet moments during lights out happen with nam-gyu. nam-gyu lets his guard down. just slightly. "when we get out of here," he whispers, "we'll start over. just you and me. no one else." he says it like it's a dream—one you both know probably won't come true unless luck is on both your sides.
if you make it out alive, but he doesn't? whether he went out protecting you or because of his own recklessness, his final words haunt you. maybe it was him trying to act tough, a cocky smirk on his lips or maybe, in his last moments, he was soft—gripping your hand weakly and whispering, "you better win. don't make this all for nothing." the light in his eyes slowly dying down as your grip on his hand tightens, refusing to leave his side as the pink guards come by to place his body into one of those black-and-pink coffins.
no matter how he treated you, a part of you aches knowing you made it and he didn't. even if you tell yourself it was for the best, you can still hear his voice lingering in your head—taunting, possessive, maybe even affectionate in his own twisted way.
you'd flinch at familiar smirks. you turn when you hear someone laugh like him. sometimes you swear you can hear his voice when you're alone, murmuring, "miss me, babe?"
if you were the winner, you can't just enjoy it. not without thinking about him—about what he would've done with it. would he have taken you away somewhere? spent it recklessly? it doesn't matter. because now, you'll never know.
a jacket, a ring, something small that he always had on him. you don't even realize why you keep it at first. but one night, holding to your chest or staring at the item, you would find yourself admitting quietly: i miss you.
if nam-gyu makes it out alive, but you don't? denial. that's what he feels at first, he doesn't believe it as they announce the player numbers that have been eliminated. he waits for you to show up. even after the game is over, he expects to turn a corner or see you amongst the crowd of remaining players and see you. however, when reality finally sinks in, it's not pretty.
if he witnesses your death in front of him, he fucking snaps. whether it's screaming your name, lunging at whoever caused it, or making a promise right then and there—"i'll kill every single one of you fucking—" he does not go quietly.
if he's the last one standing, the prize feels...empty. he'll still blow it on reckless things—clubs, alcohol, drugs—but none of it fills the hollow ache in his chest. every victory tastes like ash without you there to enjoy it with him.
you were the one thing that kept him (somewhat) grounded. without you, he spirals. he's quick to throw punches, to lash out at anyone who reminds him even slightly of you. it's easier to be angry than to feel the loss.
no matter how self-destructive he gets, there's one thing of yours he keeps—an article of clothing, some accessory of yours, maybe even a stupid joke/line you used to say. sometimes, when he's sure that no one's looking, he presses the item to his lips and mutters, "you should've been here."
late at night, after too many drinks or he's so high from overpowering drugs, he would lean back against his seat and mutter, "what, no snarky comeback? you'd be rolling your eyes at me right now." then, silence. and for the first time, he hates it.
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itsagoodluckkiss · 11 months ago
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Hi, I wanted to make a request about Luffy x female reader. The reader is feminine but clumsy, emotionally-reserved, unexperienced and kind-hearted. Smart and funny, with a soft spot for Luffy. . As for the plot, "she fell first, but he fell harder", slice of life with a little angst would be perfect. I'm desperate for fanfiction about first experience in everything kinda stuff. I'm not a minor, so it would be very good to see some sensual and awkward smut. I would be glad to read anything you'll write about Luffy x female!reader and I hope that you liked my request (^o^)/ sorry for bad english
It's Okay ~ Luffy x F!Reader
First of all, thank you for being my first request, you made me really happy and I'm really sorry for the really long wait, we had a really rough couple of months. Also, it's the first smut I've ever written so read this with patience. English is not my first language either and I'm sorry for any mistakes. Anyways, I had fun writing this, I hope you'll like it, lots of love!
Words: +3k
Warnings: hurt/comfort, op spoilers, ptsd, mentions of character death, comfort sex, smut with plot, oral (f!receiving), virginity loss (both), unprotected sex, cockwarming, fluffy ending kinda?, no use of Y/N
MDNI
Quiet days on The Thousand Sunny were as rare as mythical zoans. Not only because of dangerous encounters but also because of how calm the whole crew was today. Even your walking ray of sunshine captain was not as wild as usual. But you couldn’t really complain as you could focus on your task in silence.
The tailor of the crew, responsible of sewing, stitching and mending every piece of fabric on the ship. And that included the sails. Strong winds the night before managed a large tear and the next island was a couple of days away. So you had a job to do. Standing on a rope ladder, you effortlessly worked through the sails with elegance. Every piece of fabric in your home deserved care, as you’d always say when you mended the torn up clothes of your crew mates.
You were proud you could provide your family with loved and cared clothes and everything else they needed, top priority along with the dream of becoming the best tailor the seas had ever seen. Your mind wandered away to the smile of your captain every time you placed the fixed straw hat you came to love so much on his head, while you automatically repaired the sail. But your gracefulness started and ended at the needle in your hand.
Looking away into the sea for one second resulted in you prickling your finger. The sudden feeling caused you to lose your step and balance and you yelped as you fell from the ladder, expecting a hard fall and a trip to Chopper’s infirmary. But the land never came, arms wrapping around your frame, drawing you to somebody’s embrace. In fear, you wrapped yourself around your savior’s waist like a koala, your flower patterned dress coming up slightly. Your face went to the crook of his neck for one second, immediately recognizing who it was, and you raised your head to look at him in embarrassment.
“Hi there!”
“Luffy, thank you, I’m so sorry!”
“It’s alright. Was on my way to check if you needed help. Guess I was right.” he said laughing.
You smiled and hugged him tightly as he put you down on the deck. You were embarrassed, part of it because of your own clumsiness, another part because of the way Luffy’s hands lingered on your waist before letting you go.
“Are you almost done? Picked up a new card game from the last island and I want to play with you.”
“Oh, ah, I, I still have some, some work to do...?”
You didn’t. You also didn’t know why you said that. You said a lot of stupid stuff lately. You loved spending time with your captain, especially when you knew there wouldn’t be a crazy fight following you in a few hours. Falling in love with his brown eyes, his goofy and brave personality and his loyalty to his friends was the reason you said yes to joining the Straw Hats after you helped them save Robin in Ennies Lobby.
But ever since you returned to Sabaody, it’s gotten harder to contain the feelings for your first love. The other night while you two were keeping watch and talking about things you loved, an “I love you” escaped your lips without thinking, proceeding to an inept attempt to cover it by saying how you loved he is such a loyal friend. You felt the blush rushing to your cheeks as you looked again on his face and noticed something you were seeing more and more these days. His trademark smile was reduced to a small upward line and in his eyes there was a gleam of sadness. You couldn’t have that.
“It’s fine, I’ll see you around later I guess-”
“On another note, I can always finish it later. Let’s go play, Captain!”
And you grabbed his arm, running like a child playing chase across the deck toward Nami’s tangerine trees, laughing as you tripped on your two left feet, Luffy holding you upwards and laughing in the process, always there to catch you.
~
The ship was in motion, light rain falling from the night sky as Luffy found himself walking aimlessly on the empty deck. His black hair tousled, his straw hat dangling from the string around his neck, his posture slumped, trying to find some sort of relief in the breeze that hit his face. His trembling hands grip the railing, his gaze lost towards the vast ocean, unable to back focus on anything but his most recent nightmare. Memories of Ace's death spreading, like poison in his veins, once again. He tried to steady his breathing but failed as hot tears run down his cheeks, silent sobs leaving his body, trying not to wake up his crew. He hadn’t talked to anyone about Marineford. There was no reason for his friends to see him in that weakened state. He could tell that everyone felt guilty because they weren’t there for him, he didn’t want to feed that ugly feeling inside them.
You felt restless, worry prickling your skin like a hundred needles at once. Sleep wouldn’t do you a favor so you hoped off bed to get some fresh air on the deck and some moments of peace to think. Luffy’s sad eyes lingered in your thoughts. You couldn’t help but think about how much he had changed since you first met. You remembered the scrawny, eager, brave boy he was. Now his hair was longer and spikier, and he looked stronger than ever before, he was almost a man. Despite his carefree looks, a lot had changed about him. Yes, he was still as eager and resilient and determinated as ever, yet more mature, as much as maturity applied to him. And that big scar across his chest was the only testament of the fight he gave alone two years ago, as he hadn't talked to any of you about it. Not that he had to. You all knew you would wholeheartedly give him the support in any form he’d need. You’d do what you knew best. Take care of the people you loved. And from the moment you joined the crew, you knew your heart belonged to the straw hat captain.
You spotted Luffy in the front of the ship. It was unusual for him to be up and alone this late at night. Your eyes filled with concern, you walked closer to him as you noticed the trembling in his form, worry rising in your chest. Your hand caressing his shoulder slightly, you didn’t want to scare him or make him feel worse.
"Luffy?" you asked softly, voice barely audible over the wind.
Luffy wiped his tear streaked face quickly and tried to control his heavy breathing, wanting to be like his usual self, even if he knew it was too late for acting.
“I…”
He took a deep breath trying to hold it all in. He was the one that was supposed to help people through their crying and problems, to protect them. He couldn’t protect his friends in Sabaody, he couldn’t save his brother. He swore he’d never let anything like those things happen again. He didn’t want to be seen as weak. Not again. Not in front of his crew. Not in front of you.
“It’s okay, Luffy.”
His eyes met yours, a warm and safe gaze, always inviting and full of love, ready to be a place of comfort and joy to anyone that needed it. You wrapped your arms around his shoulder and back, taking him in a comforting embrace. His arms went immediately around you, his face buried in the crook of your neck as silent sobs left him once again. He hugged you tightly, hyperventilating as he let every last feeling of grief and pain out. You felt your eyes well too, the pain your favorite person carried alone enough to make you want to scream.
“It’s okay… you’re okay… it wasn’t your fault…”
“I couldn’t… I thought you… were all dead… and… I was right there… I couldn’t save him… he left… in my arms… it should have been me!”
Your heart ached listening to Luffy's sobs, tears running down your face as well. You pulled back slightly, cupping his face in your hands, and looked into his red, puffy eyes.
“Listen to me! Don’t say that again, ever! We all know you’d never let us down. You did everything you could, Luffy, you always do, and it’s enough for us." You said, voice shaking, carrying all the sincerity in the world. "And you always were there for him. You gave everything you had! He loved you so much and you saved him because you showed him how loved and cherished he was! You're still doing everything you can to keep his memory alive. That's what he would want! Don’t do this to yourself, please.”
You wiped the tears off his face and squeezed his cheeks like you usually did when you shared food and laughs together, managing to drag out a small smile from the boy.
“How about we go grab some tea and biscuits from the kitchen before Sanji comes down from his watch and go to my room?” you suggested, knowing Luffy would never say no to food.
“It’s on!”
Stealth wasn’t your strongest suit as you somehow always managed to hit on something. And with Luffy beside you, havoc was almost always certain. Getting out of the kitchen as fast as you could, before Sanji’s yells could reach you, you run into the ship, down to your handicraft’s room. The warmth of the cabin enveloped Luffy, feeling a little more like his usual self now, as he took in the room. That’s were all your great works laid, with needles, threads and sewing machines all over the place. From clothes and blankets to large embroideries hanging from the walls. You laid a soft, fluffy blanket on the ground to sit on. You sipped your scolding tea as Luffy munched on a cookie, taking in your works.
“I don’t know how you can make beautiful things like these.”
“I’ve practiced it a lot. And I love it. I’m glad you like it, Captain.”
You smiled widely, gaining a toothy grin from him.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For always being here.”
You were thinking your next words for a moment before moving the cups and plate from the blanket, taking his shoulders gently as you both laid on the ground, your eyes looking at each other, taking his hand into yours.
“It's alright to not be fine, you know… I'll always be here for you, no matter what.”
“It’s… I’m not thinking about it most of the time… I just have nightmares… it’s hard sometimes.”
“And that’s completely logical, Luffy, you’ve been through hell! I collapsed when I heard the news and couldn’t be with you. I would have run to you if I could. I love you so much and I’m sorry I wasn’t there and…”
You were the one tearing up now, cheeks red from embarrassment as the words slipped through your mouth without thinking. You knew Luffy would be shattered when you heard about Ace. The only thing you wanted was to hug him until you pulled all his pieces back together. He met your gaze. Luffy was never interested in romance. He didn’t thought he needed it. Until he met you and for the first time, he wanted someone to join his crew not only because he wanted them as a friend and they’d be a great addition, but because he felt something different, something he couldn’t quite understand. The only thing he knew was that he loved you a little differently than the rest of his friends. It was his turn to brush the tears off your face now and you melted from his touch. You tried to speak but before you could, his hand, warm and slightly trembling, cup your cheek. His lips pressed into yours, just for a moment, before drawing back only inches from your face.
“I think I love you too.”
Your eyes widened in surprise, heart pounding against your ribs. Never had you thought you’d hear those words from Luffy. Of course, you knew he loved everyone in the crew, but this felt different. You felt like you would burst into flames as you blushed even more.
“You, you do?!”
“Yeah… you’re sweet and strong… always by my side… you’re very important to me…”
You let out a gasp of surprise as you hugged him tightly and crushed your lips into his clumsily, both of you laughing at your enthusiasm. Small, sweet kisses evolved into longer, more passionately ones and soon you were underneath him, his hands caressing your thigh beneath your dress, your hands slowly pushing his vest off of him.
“Are you okay?”
“I am, you?”
“Me too.”
Soon, your clothes landed somewhere else in the room as you felt him caressing your skin everywhere and you gasped into the kiss, him taking advantage of your parted lips to push his tongue into your mouth, tangling it messily with yours. His lips travelled down your neck and lower, soon to be between your legs. A feeling of self-consciousness crept over you as you closed your legs and he smiled up at you as he caressed your thigh.
“Hey, it’s okay, we can stop if you want.”
“No, I want this, I’ve just… never do this before…”
“Neither do I. We’ll find it together. But I want you to be comfortable. You can stop me if you don’t feel okay.”
You smile down at him and relaxed a bit, allowing him to spread your legs and start kissing the inside of your thighs. It felt so good to share another experience with him, and his touch was gentler than you thought it would be. He positioned your thighs on his shoulders and before you could react, his mouth was on you, his tongue licking a stripe before latching onto your clit. Your head fell back immediately as a choked out moan slipped through your mouth, one hand flying to his hair, pulling on his locks gently as the other grasped the blanket beneath you. His eyes were on you, his look was magnetic and focused on the task of making you feel good. A finger circling your tight hole, it pushed inside you slowly as he sucked on your clit, making you whimper from the pleasurable feeling. The stretching inside you new and welcomed, a combination of his mouth and a second finger breaching in has your orgasm approaching faster than you expected. He curled his fingers upwards, hitting repeatedly a spot you had never reached before on your own and it pushed you over the edge unexpectedly. He smiles against you as small moans left your mouth, your whole body shaking, your head spinning.
Coming down from your high, he crawls back on top of you and kisses you passionately, your tongues intertwining. You can taste yourself through the kiss, and it makes you long for more. He breaks the kiss and smiles down at you.
“How was that?”
“Luffy, it was… amazing. How did you know-”
“Didn’t. Just did what felt right. Are you okay to continue?”
You nodded eagerly and he grinned at you, his lips back on yours again. Your hand sneaks between your bodies to grab his dick, gently pumping him up and down, bringing him close to your folds. He moans into the kiss and swats your hand away, gliding himself between your now soaked pussy, his tip touching your clit every time, sending small jolts of pleasure down your spine. He breaks the kiss, his face only inches apart from yours, staring into your eyes.
“You’re sure?”, he whispered.
“Yes captain, please…”
A shiver run through his body as he hears your plead, and he moves his tip against your entrance, pushing in. A small gasp escape you and a sharp hiss leaves his mouth as he slowly slides into you, his movements awkward but gentle, the feeling of your warmth around him making him slightly tremble as he bottoms out. It felt slightly uncomfortable for you at first but the pain you expected to feel was nowhere to be found. His lips were on your neck, nibbling and sucking gently while his arms roamed your body, trying to make you relax as he stayed still, waiting for you to adjust to him. A few moments passed and your hand cupped his chin, bringing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss.
“Feels better now?”
“Yes, Luffy… please, move…”
He smiled down at you and placed another soft kiss on your lips as he began to move, taking it slow and tender, setting a rhythm that made you gasp, the pleasure spreading over you. One of his hands on yours, intertwining your fingers as the other grabbed your thigh to keep you against him, his forehead on yours, eyes closed as you both relished the feeling of your bodies pressed together. His speed picked up slightly as he finds a steady rhythm and you moan his name, your legs wrapping around his waist to keep him close. He smiles widely and kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth, your fingers running through his hair, gently tugging at his dark locks.
One hand gripped your thigh rougher now, pushing it upwards, the shift in position allowing him to go deeper, the other sneaking between your bodies to rub at your clit. Your face buries in the crook of his neck, trying to choke down your moans, the knot in your stomach tightening as his thrusts grow faster and sloppier, you feel that he’s close too.
Your lips connect again in a messy kiss and your back arches as you come undone, crying out through the kiss, your nails dragging down his back. He breaks the kiss, his lips trailing down your jaw and neck, his hands grab your hips to drag you to him as he fucks you through your high, his hips stuttering, feeling your walls squeezing him tight, pushing him over the edge with you.
You stay like this for a while, hands wrapped around each other, his face buried in the crook of your neck, savoring the moment. He places a tender kiss on your cheek and turns to face you, his head on your shoulder.
“How do you feel?”
“I feel… wonderful…” you say with a sigh as you smile up at him. His hand caressing you cheek, he placed another sweet kiss before stretching his hand to grab another blanket nearby, covering the both of you. He then lies flat on top of you again, his arms wrapping around you, and closes his eyes, still inside you.
“Luff, we…”
“Can’t move, I feel snuggly right now.”
You laugh softly as you hug him back, feeling his breath slow down as he slowly falls asleep, your eyelids getting heavy as well, a content smile playing on your lips.
“Goodnight dummy…”
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captain-bubble-wrap · 4 months ago
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I'm having a shit day, I need Quinn to fix it
Please and thanks
cw: injury description
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Rain, rain, go away, come again...when you didn't have a hundred errands to run and were short on time to do them. Naturally, it would pour the entire time you were out and about, and your umbrella had decided to break the first time you went to use it. It really set the tone for the rest of the day; a terrible foreshadowing you had hoped wouldn't be the case.
The only reason you were out running those errands in the first place was because you had taken the day off to make sure everything was nice for when Quinn got back home. You knew he was going to be exhausted after finishing another six straight games on the road. Plus, you wanted to enjoy the evening with him knowing nothing would be looming in the back of your mind that would take away from your time together. However, since the minute you got up it was like everything was stacked against you. You had slept through your alarm, getting up almost two hours later than you had intended. You thought you had plugged in your phone but hadn't make a proper connection so your battery was at 12% to start the day. And to add insult to injury (literally), you had dropped a glass while in the kitchen and had cut your hand while trying to pick up the pieces.
Today was proving to be one of those days that were best spent at home, but unfortunately, that wouldn't be the case for you. By this point, your phone was now sitting at 6%, because you realized, after you had left the parking garage, that the charger you left in your car was in Quinn's. You just hoped it would hold on long enough to get you home.
You would be stopped at a red light, mid rush hour, when a message would ding in. It was Quinn and the dreaded text you didn't want to come across your phone until you were already back at his apartment.
"Hey baby, we just touched down. I'll see you soon. I love you."
"I might not be there when you get home. Stuck in traffic. </3 I love you, too. <3 <3 Also, phone is about dead. >:("
"Just be careful. I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too."
- - -
Getting everything out of the car had been hard enough, but carrying them with your cut palm was the worst. Being half asleep and dealing with broken glass was not a good combination, something you would note for the future. Sure, you couldn't have texted Quinn to see if he would help you, which you knew he would have, but you were determined to get it done yourself.
When you stepped into the elevator, from the parking garage, all you could think of was "please don't break down. I do not want to walk up the stairs. I do not want to be trapped in an elevator with a dead phone." Thinking it was a bad idea to put such thoughts into the Universe, you'd just count floors instead until you reached Quinn's.
It was a struggle to unlock the door but you had managed though your hand was burning and you were pretty sure you were bleeding again. Just something else that would get tended to later. Once inside, you'd drop everything at the door and Quinn would come from the bedroom to greet you.
"Oh sweetheart, why didn't you tell me you were downstairs? I would have helped you with all of this." He wrapped his arms around you and you melt into his body. "I have missed you so much."
"I'm so glad you're home." All of a sudden and without warning, you begin to cry. Likely a culmination of trash sleep, stress, no food, and pain. Your body and emotions were just fried; not to mention you hated when he was gone for so long.
"What's wrong, baby?" Quinn would say softly, gently tightening his hold on you. "Are you alright?" Anytime you were having a rough day, he was the first person to notice and always did everything he could to make you feel better.
"No," you said, hiding your face in his neck. You weren't ready to have him see how much you were struggling.
"Why don't you go sit, hmm? I'll get this."
"I wanted to have everything done for you but today has been awful."
Quinn pulls away from you just enough to tip your chin up towards his face. You can't escape him now and the look on your face makes his puppy eyes heavy with emotion. "Oh, baby~"
He kisses you several times, each one of them sweeter than the last, yet the tears still continue to fall from your cheeks. "Come on, this stuff can wait."
Taking your non-bandaged hand, he ushers you to the sofa where he insists you sit in his lap so you can be as close to him as possible. You loved moments like these just on better circumstances than today had given you.
"Baby, you're bleeding. What happened?"
You had reached up to brush some hair from your eyes when he caught sight of the bandage now tinged bright red in the center. You dropped your hand to your leg and shook your head. "It's nothing. Just a clumsy accident."
"Let me see."
You refuse, sniffling and trying to hold back the welling tears.
"Please?"
Damn those eyes of his; damn the tone of his voice that just took your breath away. You could never truly tell him no and this was no different. You'd turn your palm upwards when you presented it to him, scared it was worse that you thought it was initially.
"May I look at it?"
You just nod, before laying your head against his shoulder. You didn't want to see it and you knew him pulling back the adhesive of the bandage was going to hurt, even though he had the softest touch.
Quinn was always so careful with you; always asking for permission especially if it would potentially cause you pain. Slowly he'd remove the bandage and you would wince against the discomfort even though he did everything he could to make it easy on you. "How did this happen?"
Quinn's tone conveyed deep worry and hurt and that didn't give you the reassurance you were hoping for.
"This morning. I got up late, and was half asleep taking my vitamins and I guess my hand just stopped working and I dropped it. It shattered everywhere. I didn't realize I had grabbed the raw edge until it was too late and I cut myself."
"Oh sweetheart," Quinn whispered laying his head against yours. "Want me to fix you up?"
"I'll get it."
"Please?"
Twice now, he had used that word with (that) tone, and twice now you would fold without another chance to resist. Again, you would silently nod, letting him slip out from under you while he disappeared into the bathroom for a few moments. You remembered how you had left it and it made you feel worse, but when he returned, the only thing that mattered to him was making sure you were alright.
"You said today was awful, how come?" He talked to you while he worked so to keep you from focusing solely on your hand and the pain. Everything he did was so thoughtful.
"I stayed up too late watching The First 48, then I slept through my alarms this morning, so I was two hours behind. I guess I hadn't clicked my charger into my phone fully so it didn't charge. I dropped the glass. I didn't get the apartment cleaned. I didn't get the laundry put away. I forgot my charger was in your car. My umbrella broke." With each added reason for the bad day it made you more emotional to the point that he had to stop cleaning the cut to lay a hand on your leg and try to calm you.
"Shhh, baby, baby, it's okay. None of that matters now. I didn't expect you to be waiting for me at the door. I'm just glad you're here now, but I'm sorry you had such a hard day. The apartment is fine, please, don't worry about it."
"But...I left the bathroom~"
"I don't care about it. Honest. I want you to feel welcome here; I want it to be your home. Home should feel lived in." Quinn leaned forward to kiss you yet you frown. You still felt so bad for everything not being done like you wanted it to be. "If you're here, that's all I want."
"You're so nice," you squeak out, hiding your face with your free hand. You don't realize you were breaking his heart, feeling so bad about missing your self-imposed marks.
"Sweetheart, will you look at me, please?"
Dropping your hand, you let your eyes be exposed though you keep it pressed to your lips.
"You're the only thing I care about when I'm here. If you're okay, I'm okay."
"But I'm not okay."
"And I'm not either. May I finish this for you?" His smile was so sweet, so heartfelt as he held your injured hand in both of his. When you answered "yes, please" Quinn brought it to his lips before finishing what he had started. With each new step of the process, he'd check in with you before continuing. He didn't feel that you had any glass in the wound or that you needed stitches, but he didn't want you to do too much the next few days.
"Alright, babe, all done."
"Thank you."
"Of course. Anything for you," his smile continues. "How about you go change your clothes, get into something comfortable and we'll have a lazy evening in bed. I'll get the groceries put away and we'll order take out. How's that?"
"Do you want some help?"
"No babe, I can get it. It won't take me that long, but thank you. I'll meet you in there, okay?"
"Okay." You give him a kiss as a thank you, later apologizing for your mild breakdown earlier.
"It's alright. You're only human, sweetheart and you had a bad day. I can't say I'd do much better. I'd never judge you for anything like that," Quinn replies, holding your face for another kiss. "I promise."
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aphroditelovesu · 3 months ago
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Hiya! Hope ya don’t mind me dropping in on your inbox, I’m craving some angst currently so I was hoping you could write Yandere Finnick Odair with a darling that’s pregnant with his child and what goes on through his mind during the 74th hunger games. I wonder how it would affect how the games would go since I feel since he would be a yandere and darling is pregnant that he would prioritize her over everyone else
(author did him dirty when they killed him and he never knew she was pregnant😭😭)
❝ 🏹 — lady l: I focused more on what he feels and since it's been a while since I've done this, I hope it turned out okay. I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! Also, he's more of a soft yandere for his darling 💚 his hate is for the others! :)
❝tw: angst, slight canon divergence, mention of pregnancy (but it doesn't really show).
❝🏹pairing: soft yandere!finnick odair x female!reader.
❝word count: 1,128.
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When you announced your pregnancy, Finnick felt for the first time what it meant to be completely overcome by the purest happiness. Well, maybe it was the second time, because he had already felt something like that the moment he met you. In that moment, when your eyes met for the first time, he knew that his life would never be the same again. But the true explosion of happiness came when you accepted being his, when you made it clear that you shared the same deep and unshakable love that he felt for you.
For Finnick, you were more than the woman he loved; you were the center of his universe, the reason why he could endure the horrors that the world had imposed on him. And now, with the news of the arrival of a baby, everything seemed to finally make sense. That little being growing inside you was living proof of the love between the two of you, a piece of both of you, inseparable and eternal. For him, the baby was not just a symbol, but the confirmation that you were completely his — and he, yours, in every possible way.
Finnick knew, at that moment, that he would protect you both with everything he had. You were his reason for living, his happiness, and nothing in the world could change that.
But then, the Hunger Games ripped him away from you, like a storm that destroys everything that is precious. He was separated from his growing family, forced to leave behind the dream of a peaceful future by your side and the hope of being present at every moment of the baby's arrival. The cruel and relentless duty imposed by the Capitol took him away from everything he loved most, and the weight of this separation was almost unbearable.
Finnick knew that every second away from you and the baby was a second stolen from a happiness he might never be able to recover. He left with a broken heart, taking with him the image of your smile and the promise that he would do whatever it took to return to you. Even if the Games were relentless, even if the Capitol tried to destroy him in every way, he would fight with all his strength to survive and return to the family that was waiting for him.
In the arena, every step, every strike, every strategy was not just for survival. It was for you. It was for the baby. It was for the promise of a future that he refused to give up. The only way he'll give up on you, on your child, is if he dies.
But Finnick couldn't focus on what he was supposed to do. How could he? You were on his mind all the time. No matter how hard he tried to focus on the arena, his mind always kept returning to you and the baby. His heart felt torn between two worlds: the brutal chaos of the Games and the home he dreamed of building with you. His soul, his very essence, was with you. He felt like he was living a nightmare, unable to protect the two people he loved most.
He desperately needed to make sure nothing bad would come to you. The thought that the Capitol might use you or the baby against him tormented him at every moment. But in this situation, he was powerless. Trapped in the arena, surrounded by enemies and manipulated by forces much greater than himself, Finnick felt useless. He, who had always been strong, fast, skilled, was now completely at the mercy of fate — and it was destroying him inside.
He remembered the moment he swore to protect you for the rest of his life, the silent words that carried the promise that nothing would ever harm you as long as he was by your side. And now, here he was, unable to fulfill that oath. The weight of that helplessness crushed his spirit, but at the same time, it fueled a fire inside him. Even though the odds were slim, he knew he had to survive. Not for himself, but for you. For you and the baby. He would fight, even if he was broken, because giving up would never be an option.
And he was broken without you.
Anguish gnawed at Finnick like a cold, relentless blade. Every second in the arena felt like an eternity, every heavy breath a cruel reminder of his distance from you. He saw himself surrounded by enemies, but none of them were as threatening as the thoughts that haunted him. What if something happened to you? What if the Capitol decided to hurt you as a form of punishment? What if he could never again hold your hand, hear your voice, or meet the baby that was part of him, part of both of you?
These questions consumed him, making it impossible to focus on anything but his fear and guilt. Finnick had always been a survivor, a fighter, but now he felt weak, broken in a way that even the original Games had failed to do. He was a man divided, struggling to maintain the appearance of strength while inside, everything was falling apart.
He relived the moments with you over and over in his mind, as if he could cling to them to keep from succumbing. The first time you smiled at him, the feel of your fingers intertwined with his, the night you told him about the baby. He remembered the sparkle in your eyes, the hope you shared in that moment. And now? Everything seemed so distant, so fragile.
He hated himself for being here, for not being by your side, where he should be. Finnick had always believed that his strength lay in protecting those he loved, but now he felt helpless, unable to fulfill the most important promise of his life. The guilt was suffocating, a weight that made him question his own usefulness. How could he be the man you needed, the father the baby deserved, if he couldn’t even be there?
Yet, amidst the despair, there was a spark of determination. He knew he couldn’t give up, no matter how much he was hurting. He had to survive, he had to get back to you and the baby. Because even if everything seemed lost, the love he felt for you both was the only thing keeping him going. And he would hold on to that with all the strength he had left.
And he would get back to you, to your baby. The only way he would give up was if he died, and Finnick was determined to survive, no matter what.
You, your baby, were worth any cost.
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psyduc · 1 year ago
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pasta a la erik karlsson
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THE INGREDIENTS: pasta. alfredo. meat sauce. raw (red) onion. hot sauce (cholula, judging by the video). ketchup (heinz, i think?). a little salt and pepper.
THE RECIPE: boil pasta, chop the onion, serve with all sauces. eat and not die.
hi my name is emily and welcome to jackass
instead of liveblogging this process, i'm just going to add my thoughts to one big post to make it cleaner <3
6:48 pm: the pasta is boiling. i keep looking over at the Pile of Sauces and giggling. i have whispered "what the fuck" to myself a few times now. i'm cooking the whole box, because we're all having spaghetti tonight, but i'm the only one brave enough to try... This
6:54 pm: erik did not mention this as part of the meal but i poured myself a glass of rose. the onion has been chopped. i tried to get them chunky to match the video but that's like too much man, at least have your onions DICED why are they in CHUNKS ERIK
7:05 pm: writing these time stamps i'm realizing i'm a slow cooker because i keep getting distracted by my playlist (rn it's rebel rebel by david bowie). i am starting the alfredo sauce and it's sinking in that i'm about to actually. eat this. like a few bites, there's no way i'm eating this whole plate (this is NOT foreshadowing)
7:07 pm: i almost panicked because i didn't think i had enough milk for the alfredo but surprise, i had EXACTLY enough. this is a good omen.
7:15 pm: everything is done, i am just waiting for the meat sauce to warm up. i'm still whispering "what the fuck to myself".
7:21 pm: it's time. to assemble.
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i grabbed a small plate, but i'm realizing. maybe i should have grabbed less. this is revolting. and i'm not even done adding things
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added and mixed. i'm laughing. erik eats this. before every game? it overwhelmingly smells like cholula which is fine but oh my god. oh my god? no. no. this poor man's stomach. oh my god
7:30 pm: i've put it off. it's time to take a bite
IT'S JUST. IT'S JUST A LOT OKAY. THIS IS A LOT OF FLAVOR AND NONE OF IT REALLY GOES TOGETHER? it's like way too acidic. biting into a red onion is a terrible surprise. it's too saucy and it doesn't feel Good in my stomach, like i have taken two bites and it's settled so heavily already. okay no three bites. it's... it's just upsetting. this is an upsetting experience. what the fuck is wrong with you erik karlsson. you eat this and then you go and play professional hockey?
FOUR BITES IN AND IT DOES NOT GET BETTER. why does he do this to himself like can we send someone to check on him fr i am genuinely concerned about this man like i made this meal for the bit but he willingly does this to himself?????? 82 games a season???????
IN CONCLUSION: i managed five (5) bites. they were all bad. don't make this. someone arrest erik karlsson immediately i am so serious.
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nagiseishirro · 5 months ago
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hello!!! slight trigger warning for SA (and i would like to preface that you do not have to write this if this makes you uncomfortable!!)— can i pls request blue lock characters (isagi, nagi, chigiri and any others of your choice) finding out about reader’s history of being SAed and comforting them :') ?
again, you don’t have to if you don’t wish to. i love your writing, take care of yourself! <3
hallo!! don't worry, 'm perfectly okay with writing these :3 KINDA OOC NAGI?? i'm so sorry i've never written anything like this before and i really don't want to write anything that would be uncomfortable so i made sure to avoid any sensitive topics at ALL.. BUT I STILL HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!! im sosososo sorry if it's not what you wanted,, if you wanna change anything feel free to ask me again!!! i'll definitely try to change it according to your request
warnings: might be ooc, nagi's might be done a little overboard (sorry), mentions of scooting closer to chigiri.
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ISAGI YOICHI:
he nearly missed his goal.
"...what?" everything about isagi was screaming incredulous. "you— ..are you, serious? you're not joking with me right, 'cause if you are i'll.. i'll be really mad at you."
though, the way your lips pursed, and the way your eyes held the slightest throb of guilt just made isagi melt.
"i believe you, (name)." he sputtered out the instant he heard your silence.
"...sorry, i've never— been in this situation before but," he paused, heeling a soccer ball up into his palms.
the ball nudged, so gently against the borders of your stomach and chest. "i'm here for you. ...if you need it, of course.!"
...your hands reached out slightly—they didn't need to stretch much to accept the football prodded at your abdomen.
it's a simple, straightforward gesture, but it meant everything—a symbolism that, for as long as soccer exists, for as long as there is even a single football in the world, isagi's with you,
and he knows it'll exist forever.
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SEISHIRO NAGI:
"...really?" nagi's game was still running, but not for long once the jarring sound of a bold "game over" disrupted his surprise—nagi turned off his game immediately. he made sure to choose his words, for once. "...you should've told me sooner, i wouldn't have been all over you without asking if i'd known..."
"does that mean we can't cuddle 'nymore..?" nagi'd sulked, but he wasn't waiting nor demanding an answer from you. you'd find yourself under a pool of blankets almost immediately.
he wasn't quite sure whether you would want him to physically comfort you after that confession, so instead of him cuddling you, he'd let your (his) blankets do the hugging.
"...we can stop the (name) limousine, or the nagi limousine. and the carrying, and cuddling. 'nless you want to, of course. whenever you're ready, (name). i can wait."
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CHIGIRI HYOMA:
"...and it's been how long?" the air wafting noises of a hair dryer had come to a halt, chigiri's undivided attention solely locked onto you now.
"don't need to answer that." he stopped you with a palm before your face. "did you know? it takes about twenty-eight to forty-two days for skin cells to fully replace and regenerate over old ones."
he flicked the switch of his drying device until it popped the middle—a setting of "not too cold, not too hot."
"you can say you've been completely rebirth after forty-two days. come, scoot closer." he patted the spot in front of him, hands gently tapping on the freshly tumble-dried sheets to offer you a seat. "want me to dry your hair?"
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iamthecomet · 8 days ago
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Phantom/Aeon and Cirrus like to roleplay and they especially like when Cirrus is a sweet innocent sister of sin confessing her feelings of lust
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
UH HUH OK YEAH I CAN WORK WITH THIS. I leaned a little more toward them roleplaying actual christianity for this one--because why not. Also, please more Cirrus/Aeon they're so fun.
700ish words of blasphemy and heresy, under the cut.
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"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
Aeon tries not to shudder. Tries not to move as Cirrus sinks to her knees in front of him. Borrowed sibling of sin robe pooling onto the floor as she settles. Her hands fall onto her thighs, draped in miles of silky black fabric. Aeon tries not to think about the way it will feel to touch her--he fails. The collar feels tight. How do priests do this? Right, they don't feel desire like this, or at least they aren't supposed to. This, is certainly, not what the catholic church had in mind when they created confession.
Aeon swallows, his mouth dry, as Cirrus peers up at him from under her veil. Gray eyes softer than he's used to, wide, innocent, an act that Aeon can't help but buy. Aeon almost forgets his line--his role. He's too preoccupied with Cirrus--who can blame him really? Even in a shapeless robe she's immaculate. She finds a way to make everything sensual. Aeon peers down at her, tilts his head, tries to appear thoughtful--merciful--disappointed. "Go on then," he says, waving a hand at her. Feigning disinterest. Cirrus looks up at him, blinks big wide eyes and Aeon's cock stirs underneath the black robes he stole out of Copia's wardrobe. "I've had...lustful thoughts." "Have you? About what?" Cirrus inches closer, close enough to touch. One warm palm finds its way to Aeon's thigh, too high to be casual. He jolts, eyes threatening to flutter closed. Gone already and all she's done is look at him. "I--oh Father it's embarassing." Cirrus' voice is all wrong like this. Breathy. Sweet. Aeon falls into it, lets himself be carried away by her innocence--by his desire to divest her of it. "I cannot absolve you if you don't tell me." She looks at her knees, the hand on his thigh drops away and Aeon mourns it. He catches her fallen hand in both of his, pins it, warm and soft between his calloused palms. "Let me help you," he whispers and is rewarded by the shudder that rolls through Cirrus' body. Her fingers twitch in his. "Well, it's....it's about you, Father." "About me?" Aeon raises his eyebrows, his head tilts deeper. "What about me?" Cirrus meets his eyes--and for a moment Aeon swears he sees the real her, the predator. It's gone in a flash, replaced by uncertainty, innocence, desire. "Well--Father--I--" she hitches closer. Her free hand finds his robes again, seeking to part them in the middle, searching for a hem. Aeon lets her. "Maybe it would be better if you showed me?" He says, voice low, dipping toward gravel, the game dissolving around him as he lowers her trapped hand and places it over his cock, already hard and aching, beneath the robes. Cirrus gasps, makes to pull away but Aeon holds her firm. Her fingers squeeze around him and he hisses, bucking up toward her hand, trying to keep a hold on his role and how good it feels for her to touch him like this. "I've had the same thoughts," he continues. "I've seen you--the way you look at me. I've thought of you too. I've thought of making your penance into pleasure. I've wanted to--I--" Cirrus squeezes and Aeon swears, character breaking. Fuck, how does anyone do this well? How can you play a priest while getting jacked off? Cirrus' fingers break free of his and then both her hands are under his robes, finding flesh. He's hot and so hard his stomach aches. When she drags her palm over the head of his cock she finds it sticky. She licks her lips, Aeon can't take his eyes away from the path of her tongue, the sweep of it. "I want--give me your mouth--please." Cirrus grins, predator back for a little longer this time, a breath that Aeon thinks must last a lifetime. "Is that my penance?" She asks sweetly, already hiking the robes up with one hand while the other circles his cock. Aeon's head drops back eyes fluttering closed.
He searches his brain for the right thing--for something in character--anything he can say. Her breath fans out over his cock and he groans with it. It kicks in her hand, pre dribbling out to leak down and over her knuckles. "Swallow what I give you," he settles on, each word a struggle. "and you will be absolved." He feels Cirrus' smile against the head of his cock just before her tongue darts out to lap at another bead of pre.
"Amen," she whispers.
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