#I really don't want to. It's not that much of a problem though

[realcleverscience]

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I see things a bit differently. allow me to share what I hope to be a thoughtful reply as well:

In terms of plagiarism, I think there are two different issues at play: firstly, training on data one doesn't own, and secondly, reproducing that data and presenting it as original data.

I agree that these are both issues but I don't think they're of equal concern or frequency. In particular, I see "plagiarism" as representing the second issue more than the first. Reproducing other people's works is not ok. That is plagiarism. That has occasionally happened with AI and must be sorted out. No questions there. However, that represents a fraction of a fraction of results. It is a very small and niche issue which is already being addressed.

That said, the first problem - using unowned data - is more nebulous, legally and ethically speaking. On one hand, AI is doing basically the same thing that humans do, which is learn and imitate from others. On the other hand, AI can do this with a level of detail and speed which humans can't. Then there's also issues with the data. For instance, if google uses youtube to train their AI, they probably have some legal right to that as a result of hosting the video. Whenever people use "free" websites, there are usually "costs" which we agree to. (Is that fair? idk. personally, it's ok with me. I think it's a fair trade.) That said, I also expect legal frameworks to develop which make it easier for people to opt-in or opt-out or get compensation as these systems grow. Lastly, it's not clear to me that it's bad for AI to learn from these sources in general - again, much like how humans do. I only really see a problem when it starts to produce actual plagiarism, as discussed above.

Also, in terms of data, I agree with some of your points. I do want to point out, though, that data isn't a finite resource. Just the opposite. We put more and more data on the web each year. in 2010, it got around 2 zetabytes; in 2015 it was 15 zetabytes, in 2020, 64 zetabytes, in 2024, we're expected to have put online nearly 150 zetabytes. And with the growth of things like smartphones, video apps (youtube, tiktok, etc), augmented reality glasses, autonomous robots, self-driving cars, and people engaging with their AIs - these companies are going to get ever growing amounts of rich data, about the world, environments, movement, conversation, and more.

"And that gets to the part of your closer that I wanted to talk about. With "AI" as it is, we are not going to get to a post-labor world like you want. Replacing artists and writers and other creatives will instead create a post-art world... But in such a world, humans aren't just sitting on their asses doing nothing - a lot of people will be creating, not because they have to, but because they want to. Art should be the last job replaced in the process of creating such a world, but the people in charge are trying to make it the first, because their ideal world is nowhere near in line with yours."

To be clear, I'm not interested in replacing artists more or less than any other profession bc I see all professions as valuable. I want to see *all* jobs get automated as much as is possible to get us all to a post-labor society. And yes, it is my hope and expectation that everyone will pursue their hobbies and interests once we no longer have to work. I also know that there's a lot of public focus on AI-Art since a lot of the semi-decent AI products right now are art generators. however, that's only bc art has more wiggle room in its results. But AI is coming for ALL jobs. And I think that's good.

That said, I agree that the rich see AI as a way to get even richer and not necessarily to benefit society. However, I also think that massive unemployment will steer the country (and all countries) toward post-labor systems, such as increasingly shortened work-weeks, UBI, and other changes. I am concerned about how difficult that transition period will be. But that's largely on us and how we vote. (literally one of the reasons I told people not to vote for trump. he dgaf about anyone.)

AI is not a bad technology. It is a major boon for the world. The fight is with capitalism.

'People are panicking about AI tools the same way they did when the calculator was invented, stop worrying' cannot stress enough the calculator did not forcibly pervade every aspect of our lives, has such a low error rate it's a statistical anomaly when it does happen, isn't built on mass plagiarism, and does not obliterate the fucking environment when you use it. Be so fucking serious right now

[enhaeil]

BLOOM! ☆ 엔하이픈

"everything you do, how you call my name sunday afternoon, come and make it rain. let the flowers bloom, ease my pain. always tell the truth, can you answer me?"

bloom - aqyila

lovesick boyfriend! enhypen ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

c/w: suggestive parts in everyone's but niki's. otherwise fluff

heeseung

boyfriend heeseung, who loves that he can be boring and nerdy with you. you guys can just sit there in silence or cuddle while he plays video games and not say anything. he doesn't always have to try to tell a joke or be interesting. he can be his full, authentic self. + you let him talk about his buzz lightyear toys, so he wins.

boyfriend heeseung who is actually obsessed with you, and everything about you. your smile, your laugh, your scent, your body, you name it. he never misses a day of telling you how in love he is with you.

boyfriend heeseung, who is shameless when you turn him on. his hands will be everywhere but where they're supposed to be. he has no problem pressing up against you or whispering filth in your ear. you know what hell yea

jay

boyfriend jay, who is the biggest gentleman. he always walks closest to the sidewalk. he always holds the door and pulls out your chair. he buckles your heels for you every time y'all go out. and even after so long together, he still asks for permission to kiss you.

boyfriend jay, who loves taking you to his hometown, seattle. y'all know that video of him taking a late night walk there 💔 im sick he takes walks with you at night all the time he just loves you so much and wants to show you where he grew up.

boyfriend jay, who's gentle even in bed. he won't ever hurt or degrade you unless you REALLY enjoy it. he might be slightly rougher on more stressed or pent-up days, but other than that, he literally makes love.

jake

boyfriend jake, who feels like he doesn't always have to think around you. he's so comfortable with you that he knows it's okay to say something that doesn't make sense or something that might not be correct because you won't judge him and you probably get exactly what he means.

boyfriend jake, who is literally your shadow. he gives you your space, of course, but he loves you and loves being around you. he's literally like a lost puppy just following you around the house.

boyfriend jake, who's obsessed with your butt. don't get me wrong, he loves your boobs too, constantly face planting into them— but that ass though. his pillow. his bongos. his dinner, i fear.

sunghoon

boyfriend sunghoon, who's literally your best friend. like you got a boyfriend and bestie in one. you guys will just sit there and talk to each other for hours about nonsense. sometimes when you get bored, you'll help him with his english too.

boyfriend sunghoon, who thinks you're the funniest person on earth. if they asked who makes him the laugh the most he'd say you. sometimes you're not even telling a joke, and he's in the corner giggling like a school girl.

boyfriend sunghoon, who's the best kisser. i mean he a DEEP kisser, like sometimes you'll withold from even a quick smooch cuz you know freakhoon gon jump out, and you'll end up naked.

sunoo

boyfriend sunoo who's your best friend, pt2. but not only that; he's your best friend, boyfriend, therapist, makeup artist, pillow, chef. he will be whatever you need him to be that day. he'd genuinely would do anything for you, he ADORES you.

boyfriend sunoo, who will always take your side even if you might be wrong. coworker getting on your nerves ? she should leave you alone. you cussed out some man at the club? he had it coming! a mosquito bit you? wtf is it's problem? NOT ON SUNOO'S WATCH.

boyfriend sunoo who is versatile when it comes to the bedroom. whatever you're feeling that day he will do. if you want him on top that night, he'll joyfully do it. you in a rough mood? give him 2 minutes, and he'll get into mode. as long as you feel good, he feels great.

jungwon

boyfriend jungwon, who is literally your other half. y'all are the goofiest duo on the planet, i swear. the type of couple to make up their own language while everybody else looks at you like you're insane. you guys have so many inside jokes, too.

boyfriend jungwon, who's always given you the first bite or last bite of his food. even when you say 'no' or tell him you're not hungry, he will stilk feed you. he loves you so much and wants to make sure you're never hungry and always content.

boyfriend jungwon, who touches your boobs and butt a lot but somehow makes it in the most innocent way possible... like he's not even being a freak he's just holding your boobs as if this is normal. hands reaching out to give your ass a jiggle or make a beat on it like it's a drumset.

niki

boyfriend niki, who tries so hard to be nonchalant around you, but somebody tell him he is NOT that guy 🙏🏽. you're too funny and too pretty for him to be nonchalant, he be smiling like a big ol' goofy around you. he still tries to act like he doesn't care in front of his members, though. can't let them know !

boyfriend niki, who won't let anybody else touch his stuff except for you. whatever's his is yours once you guys are together. he even lets you play on his game console if you're bored while he's away. he especially loves when you steal his clothes, but he won't let you know that.

boyfriend niki who always tries to impress you. performing extra hard on stage, being really good at a game, walking around in a tanktop and sweats to show off his muscles; anything to get you to compliment him. Please compliment him, or he'll sulk and say you hate him and think he's ugly.

a/n: hi ill answer the asks in my box soon

[qrrieterisunnq]

Hiii! I hope you’re doing well! I’d love to request a one-shot with Jack Hughes x female reader (enemies-to-lovers).The setting is a Halloween night, and Jack and the reader are part of the same friend group, though they’ve never really gotten along. The whole group decides to explore an abandoned, supposedly haunted house. As they explore, Jack and the reader start bickering like usual. Things escalate when they encounter what seems to be a ghost or something chasing the group, and everyone scatters to hide.

The reader ends up hiding in a small space (like a cabin or closet) where Jack is already hiding. They have a brief, tense argument, but then Jack notices that the “ghost” is nearby, so he covers her mouth to silence her or kisses her to keep her quiet (since they secretly have feelings for each other). In the end, it’s revealed that the whole haunted house experience was a set-up by their friends to finally get them to admit their feelings for each other.

Thank you so much if you consider writing this!💕

First of all, thank you so much for requesting and second sorry it took so long for me to write this!!🫣🩷

Halloween Jumpscare - Jack Hughes

— WARNINGS: bickering, kissing, maybe some grammar errors (sorry for that) — SUMMARY: Where their friends make a small trap on them, to make them realize that they have feelings for each other. — WORD COUNT: 1,7K — AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am not sure if it's good. I don't know how to write arguments or scary scenes so sorry for that!

masterlist | wip's

"Can you shut up for fuck’s sake?" Jack said, annoyance written all over his face. His eyes were glued to your figure as you carefully tried to climb over the concrete block on the floor of the abandoned house where you were with six other friends from your group. 

"And why should I, hm?" you snapped at him, and your leg slipped on the concrete block. 

"Because you are annoying," he snapped back as his hand grasped yours, catching you before you could fall straight on your face. "Watch where you are stepping." 

"Oh, come on, you two!" Rico sighed in annoyance at the two of you, who bickered on every trip you planned. "Can you for once shut up and both act like normal people, please?" He didn’t understand what was wrong with you. It hadn’t always been like this. A few years ago, you were best friends who wouldn’t do anything without the other. But then something happened, and you couldn’t stand each other anymore. 

"Sorry," you whispered, snatching your hand from his hold. "And you, don’t ever touch me again." You spat in his face before approaching Jasmine and Destiny, who were already waiting for you with soft smiles. 

"Come here, babes," Jasmine said while looking behind you at Jack, who was watching your back with unknown emotions in his eyes. "He is acting like a dick." 

"You know, it really sucked that Kai couldn’t come." You sighed and looked around the room. You shivered when you felt a breeze on your hands, and your head whipped in the direction from where the breeze came. 

"Yeah, it sucked. I thought I’d laugh at him," Rico sighed in fake disappointment, making you all chuckle. "Okay, I think we should continue." Jasmine and Destiny saluted, and you all walked deeper inside the house with Rico leading the way. 

Carefully, you stepped over the box on the ground, not wanting to touch it. 

You heard a quiet scoff from behind you, knowing exactly who it was. Jack. 

"Problem?" you asked, turning your head over your shoulder with an annoyed look. He shook his head like he had done nothing and walked ahead of you. You silently mocked the way he talked and rolled your eyes at him. 

"Asshole." 

"I heard that," he called out, chuckling slightly. 

"Good." 

"What was that?" Jasmine shrieked when she heard footsteps in the hall right next to them. 

"You heard that too?" you asked, looking around yourself. 

"Calm down, it’s an old house. It will make sounds," Jack sighed, shaking his head, but he couldn’t deny the weird feeling that grew in his stomach as he looked around himself. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t hear anything. So, when you screamed again, he whipped his head in your direction to make sure you were okay.

He'd never admit it, but he really does care about you even after what happened between you two.

“Fuck, why the hell did I agree to this?” you murmured under your breath, clutching onto Jasmine’s hand.

Even though you think like this, you’d never change this for anything. The time you spend with your friends is something you’d never change.

“Because you love us,” Rico grinned at you, but his smile disappeared when he spotted something in the corner of the room.

He turned around to his friends who were quietly standing next to each other as they started pulling out the ghost-hunting things from the shared bag Jack had on his back. “Guys, did you see that?” he asked them while he had his finger pointed in the direction of the something he saw.

“What?” Destiny panicked, her eyes examining the room that was dimly lit by only a hand torch. “Where? Don’t joke about this!” She pointed a finger at Rico with an angry and terrified look.

“I-It was right there.” He said seriously and slowly backed towards them when the same thing appeared in the corner again, this time seen by everyone.

“Fuck! Run!” Jasmine yelled and took off somewhere deeper in the building to hide. You watched as everyone left the room and something slowly made its way to you. Just as it was a few feet away from her, she got out of the trans and ran away as fast as she could. She had no idea where she was running until she reached a small closet, she didn’t even care if the thing was following her she opened the door and hid inside, taking in deep breaths not noticing that your back was pressed against someone’s chest.

“Get out!” Jack whisper-shouted when he felt your back.

“I can’t!” you gritted between your teeth, scooting Jack even deeper when you hear something.

“You can, I was here first.” Even though he tried to act like he didn’t want you here, he grabbed your hips and pulled you closer when he heard the same noises.

“Don’t touch me.” You swatted his hands away and stepped on the side, accidentally dropping something on the ground. “Shit.”

“Jesus, can you just stay still.” He said just in the moment when the noises got louder.

“Yeah right, sorry,” you mumbled and reached into your jacket pocket for your phone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You mumbled and frantically started searching your pockets.

“What now?” annoyance was clear in his voice as he shot you a glance.

“Can’t find my phone! Why do you care asshole,” you snapped at him a little too louder than you wanted and immediately regretted it when you could see the thing slowly reaching you. The thing slowly approached the closet, where the two were hiding.

“Be quiet.” He murmured quietly, his eyes never leaving the thing. He could feel the slight breeze hitting him through the slightly opened door.

���Jack—” you stuttered out, as your whole body was shaky from the fear you were feeling. The thing out was real, you could tell by the look in Jack’s eyes. He never in his life believed in these things, but you could see it in his eyes, that this was reel.

Jack could tell how nervous and scared you were in the moment. He noticed the way your chest raised quickly, the way you picked on your fingers and lastly, he noticed the tears forming in your eyes.

He didn’t waste any minute when he saw that you were about to say something and he crashed his lips on yours in a slow yet firm kiss.

At that moment you didn’t even realize that Jack pressed his lips to yours in a bold attempt to make you shut up. He kissed you with something you couldn’t describe as his hands gripped your cheeks, as he tried to take your attention away from the thing.

You clutched onto his hands, tears still streaming down your face, as you heard some cracking outside.

You were about to say something, but Jack didn’t let you, he took the opportunity of you opening your lips and pushed his tongue inside, shutting you up.

You let out a quiet moan when he slightly pulled away sucking on your lower lip. He rested his forehead on yours, your breaths mixing as you tried to catch your breath.

“Is it gone?” you whisper finally opening your eyes.

“I don’t know, but I don’t hear anything.” He whispered his hands still on our cheeks, caressing them lightly. “Stay there, I’ll go look around—”

“N-no. You ain’t going anywhere.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay! I’ll be okay.” He says with a smile. “It’s nothing. If it wanted to hurt us, it already would.”

You look at him with tears in your eyes, you could never admit it but this shit looked so real. And it scared you even more when you saw that even Jack must have thought it was real. You shake your head, tightening your hold on his hands.

“Okay, okay, calm down. We’ll go together, okay? We’ll find a way out and then call the others to find out where they are. Hm?” his eyes never left hers as he talked to her trying to calm her down.

“Okay. B-but I need to get my phone.” You stuttered, as your hands trembled from the fear and adrenalin in your veins.

The next few things happened quickly, you two ran out of the closet not looking behind you, you entered the room where you were when the thing sowed, you quickly found your phone and then you ran out of the building, with Jack’s hand holding yours the whole time. As soon as you were out, you could see the thing running towards you, but you noticed that it didn’t look like something supernatural, more like a human.

And Jack must have noticed it too. “Okay, guys! Stop it!” he shouted with an annoyed look, his hand still holding yours. The person stopped in their tracks immediately. “Really funny, Kai.”

The person pulled down the costume and looked at Jack with a confused look. “How, bro?”

“Your shoes,” he pointed down and you immediately recognized them too. You sighed in relief and rested your head on Jack’s arm with a chuckle.

“Asshole, I told you to wear something else,” Rico shouted at him as he and the girls stepped out of the bushes. “But I think it worked out.” He shrugged looking at you two.

“What worked out?” confusion was written all over your face as you watched your friend who had a wide smile on their faces.

“This,” Jasmine pointed to your hands, which were still interlocked. Both of you look down and then at each other with disbelief. “We wanted you to finally realize that the thing that happened between you two should stay in the past and you two should finally express your feelings.”

“So did it work?” Kai asked with a smirk. He folded the costume in his bag slowly approaching them, just like the others.

Jack smirked down at you, causing your cheeks to turn red. Then he looked at the others with the same smirk and nodded his head.

“We kissed.” you whispered. The girls screamed in excitement and pulled you in a tight hug, meanwhile, Rico and Kai patted Jack’s back congratulating him.

You and Jack looked at each other with strong emotions in your eyes and you knew, that what happened in past stayed in past.

[mysaldate]

Doesn't that sort of make sense though? Why would the characters make a big deal out of it if it's normal for them? It's kind of an issue I have with a lot of fantasy series, the characters are all from this world where magic exists but they have to act surprised and clueless about it for the audience's sake? That has always felt cheap and kinda lazy to me. Yes, act like it's normal because it is normal for you. Don't make a big deal out of it and let us figure it out. Yes, you run a risk of a lot of fandom glossing over it but imo, it's much better than breaking character just to coddle your audience.

On your age point... no, that doesn't really work. The game is originally a joseimuke, meaning for working-class women. Just because Aniplex and Disney US decided to dumb everything down for the English release doesn't mean teenagers are suddenly the intended audience. The characters are those ages because that's a popular trope and that's it, they might be 30 or 50 and they wouldn't change because the age label on fictional characters is arbitrary as they are not real. Yes, Disney JP still keeps certain things censored/safe but far less than whatever is going on in the EN release. In a similar vein, the whole "respect women juice" thing was added in the EN release while in JP, it was left at the fact that women are intimidating and more physically imposing which led to Leona and Ruggie trying to appease them even outside of their own culture (we wouldn't exactly call that respect, now would we? We don't say women irl respect men when they go out of their way to appease them because they are physically stronger).

This isn't about whether or not Jack has a knot lol. This is about how many features the characters do have that the fandom just explains away or even straight-up ignores. And it gets worse when it comes to cultures. The hyenas are mistreated in Sunset Savannah because they have a bad reputation (yes, it is a part of what happened with Scar but also for biological reasons) which then leads to them having to scavenge for food and use trickery which furthers the stereotypes even more. Leona's palace guards are all women because lionesses are usually the ones guarding a pride. Leona does roar or growl in the story on multiple occasions (and a roar is even one of his battle lines iirc).

Malleus was literally born from an egg, that's a pretty big thing imo, people even like this, they just don't like thinking about what that might mean for Meleanor. Also, dragon fae only being able to conceive with their true love? That's a pretty huge difference. The fae in general communicating by hisses and chittering noises? Yes, it's a language for them but at the same time, that's a pretty non-human thing to do. And despite Lilia adopting Silver, he never taught him the language so there's a question of whether full-blooded humans can even learn it.

I agree with you that this is a prevalent problem in media, I just don't think twst is as devoid of it as you seem to suggest. Yes, fandom is always there to explore things more and push them to their logical limits and conclusions but, again, I think twst gives us a ton to build off of. It makes sense to me that they don't make a big deal of it, much like they just off-handedly mention other parts of their world that are normal to them but alien to us, simply because it's no big deal or it is common knowledge for them ("By the Seven!" is an easy one. Nobody feels the need to explain it but we all know why that is, another example would include Mozus' off-hand mention of the discrimination against beastmen in the past, and obvsl there are more all over the place).

Anyway, this got long, sorry. I like discussing this sort of thing even if we don't come to an agreement. Personally, I like the way twst does it but I do get why people might want more obvious explanations and followups on things in way that are harder to disregard.

I need. Twisted Beastmen and the like. To be more animalistic. Not necessarily like, physically, I don't meant that in the furry sense. I mean that in the 'they're part animal and it'd not just for show' sense.

I want beastmen with claw like nails. Where the cat-like ones tend to walk on their toes when not wearing shoes because it feels right. Where their eyes and pupils reflect the animals that they're partly of. With fangs and teeth appropriate for their species.

Ruggie making laughing noises at the active prospect of food. Whooping when in a fight and needing backup. Lowing when excited for a fight.

Leona roaring to get the whole dorm's attention. Chuffing in greeting at people he considers part of his pride. (He'll sometimes grunt at Cheka like a mother would to her cubs but will deny it.)

Jack barking at danger to warn others and howling to try and figure out where his pack is (he forgets they can't howl back, but Ruggie will sometimes low at him and Yuu definitely tries to howl back.)

I want to see Azul with the tips of his limbs in human form retain some of his octopus natural ability to camouflage. I want to see his hands always moving, grabbing something, holding something. Azul who might not have bones in human form with how flexible he is??

The tweels who aren't very active naturally during the day but get really hyperactive at night. Who bare their teeth at people when excited.

Che'nya who lounges in the sun on lazy days. Who's great at stretching and popping everywhere in his body if he needs to, to a concerning degree.

GIMME FEY WHO DONT ACT HUMAN

Malleus who snorts smoke when he's angry. Malleus who wear gloves because he got claws. Malleus who has a tail and wings outside of his dragon form sometimes.

Lilia who gets just a bit too excited at the prospect of a fight and spilling blood. Who can recognize a person by the smell of their blood. Who makes inhuman noises when too excited and gives off a very eldritch horror kind of vibe if he lets loose.

Sebek who can be found eating rocks sometimes. Who finds quiet in thunder and lightning. Who can move so smoothly and silently you don't know he's there until he opens his maw. Who has a lot of really sharp teeth for someone with a human mouth.

Just- gimme some animal, like, REALISM. PLEASE.

[remedyturtles]

16 with pb and j :D

thank you my beloved @bluesgras for the prompt!!! big hugs mate hope you like it :D

wordcount 1.1k, pre-series

16. "You were calling out, in your sleep. You said my name."

The scream cut off as soon as Mikey realized it was coming from his own throat, choking on the sound, hands pushing back against the touch that was shaking him awake. Immediately the touch disengaged, and it was Donnie's voice that said, "You are safe, Angelo. You are having a nightmare."

That made a lot more sense. Pulling ragged breaths through a sore throat, Mikey blinked the stars out of his eyes and hunched over. After a moment, Donnie shuffled and turned the lamp on. The light helped the pulsing terror that sat heavy on his chest. It brought the silhouette of his big brother into the light, the frayed long-sleeve sleep shirt that said 'I identify as a problem' and bare feet against the carpet. No goggles or even mask, looking like he'd just woken up moments ago. 

"I'm sorry." Mikey rasped, swallowing hard. The panic was living inside him, making it hard to think, but he knew that Donnie didn't like to be disturbed. "Did I wake you up?"

Donnie hesitated. Pulling at the end of his sleeve, thumbing the holes there. He said, "You were calling out, in your sleep." 

Mikey winced. "Sorry. Thanks for waking me up. You can go back to bed now."

Donnie didn't. He stood there, then said, "You said my name."

Oh. Mikey's stomach dropped hard and fast as he remembered his dream, and he bit his lip. All the denials fell short before forming, because… he was really glad that Donnie was here right now, actually. 

Donnie gestured awkwardly to the bed. "Do you want me to join you?"

"You don't have to." Mikey said immediately. 

"If I didn't want to, then I wouldn't offer." Donnie said, promptly. 

That was true. Mikey shuffled over to give him room, tugging the blankets along to keep them separate. Except that Donnie ignored that, reaching over to flap the rumpled blankets over both of their legs. Then he perfectly arranged the pillows to sit up, turning to look at Mikey in the lamp-light. He said, "I don't like the thought that something about me would upset you that much. Tell me what the issue is, and I will fix it."

Mikey gave him a laugh, a little wet, and swiped at his eyes. "You don't upset me, D. Don't worry about it."

Donnie fixed him with a look that would work a lot better with his painted-on brows, but luckily Mikey knew him well enough to fill in the arched incredulity even without them. "Michelangelo, you are my only little brother. I reserve exclusive right to worry about you every minute of the day if I so please. And especially if you are roused in the middle of night with screaming nightmares."

Mikey sniffed miserably, giving his eyes another futile swipe. He wasn't crying so much as all stuffed up and uncomfortable, like he was bloated with unwelcome emotions. "Just because someone's younger doesn't mean they can't worry about their older siblings."

Donnie leaned forward so he was in Mikey's line of sight, and gave a crooked smile. "Heavens, don't you dare be worried about me."

"I can if I want." Mikey insisted, jutting up his chin, but then hesitating. "That wasn't… that wasn't why, though."

"Oh?" Donnie stayed persistently in his line of sight, even ducking his head to keep his gaze when Mikey tipped it downwards. "Do tell."

Mikey struggled with keeping it inside, mouth wobbling, but he'd never been good at holding back. Not when there was always so many sets of hands were right there, waiting to give him whatever he wanted. Safety and security and –

"It was dark." Mikey began, because he hated the dark. Everyone knew that. "And – and I couldn't find my way home. There were monsters and – and they were chasing me – and I … I wanted you to come save me."

Donnie eyes went wide, jaw going slack, and he said, surprised, "Me?"

Mikey nodded, tears welling and irritably swiping at his cheeks again to stop them from falling. He sniffed and said, "I was scared. And I wanted you. And then I woke up and you're here, so I feel better."

"Me?" Donnie said again, weaker. "Not Raph? Not Leo? Not Dad? Me?"

"You're my big brother too." Mikey said, soft. "You just said that."

"Yeah, but there's no way I'm better than –" Donnie cut himself off and shook his head. "Of course I'm an amazing big brother, but for like – fixing your things and reading stories and hiding with you when everyone else is being stupid. Not the one you want when the monster is chasing you."

Mikey headbutted him, somewhere between playful and hard enough to hurt. "Except you are. Are you saying you wouldn't help me if a monster was chasing me?"

"Of course I would." Donnie rubbed his forehead, frowning. "I would absolutely anything I could to protect you. But I am not the most optimal choice for this situation."

Mikey shrugged. "I don't know. My subconscious wanted you."

Donnie bit his lip, looking a little emotional himself. He opened his arms, and Mikey crawled into them without any hesitation. All tight limbs around his big brother, who made him feel so safe, so secure, so loved. 

His grip was strong, and Donnie pressed their heads together. He mumbled in Mikey's ear, "I suppose subconscious knows that you are my precious baby brother and if you call for me, I will come. And I will do everything I can, even if I need to destroy everyone and everything to keep you safe."

"Leo said you're not allowed to do villain monologues past midnight anymore." Mikey said, muffled by Donnie's shirt. 

Donnie's laugh was just a little evil. "Oh, darling Michelangelo. Your faith in me will never be mislaid. I would burn cities and salt the earth for you. I would tear apart the laws of the universe and rewrite new ones at your bidding. I would – stop laughing!"

Mikey couldn't help it, giggling helplessly, clutching the fabric and pressing close for the comfort it provided. His heart swelled with care, that incredibly special kind of care that only Donnie could provide. He said, the tears nearly gone from his voice, all his fears wiped away like chalk off a blackboard, "I love you so so much."

"Mmmm." Donnie hummed against the top of his head, rocking them back and forth slightly, like he was cradling Mikey. It lit something young and safe inside him. "I love you for every single star in the universe."

"How many is that?" Mikey whispered.

"At least two hundred billion-trillion." Donnie replied, instant and smug. 

"Well I love you three hundred billion-trillion." Mikey said.

Donnie gasped, mock-affronted. "Gasp! How could I be so foolish!"

Mikey giggled again, boneless against his big brother, the gentle rock back and forth, the warm blankets, and he was so, so glad he called for Donnie.

[marikosfragrance]

BLUE LOCK X READER

"Can they fall in love?"

Characters : Ness Alexis, Hiori Yo, Aiki Himizu

Content : Can they fall in love? How long would it take? And what conditions must be met for it to happen?

Disclaimer : I don't claim ownership of the characters, as well as claiming their personalities portrayed here as canon, this is my own interpretation of their trait and personalities and how I portrayed them is up to you whether or not you see it as canon or different.

Note : Thank you for the asks, really enjoyed doing this. And also if ever there was something amiss, or if I ever did a mistake on a characters backstory, please feel free to clarify, so I can adjust accordingly. Excuse grammatical errors.

Hiori Yo

Can they fall in love : Yes, for sure. Hiori doesn't seem to be incapable of it. He is a polite person, as described by numerous characters. Some people might think be would be emotionally unavailable due to his past, and I can see where some of those people might come from. Hiori's past is all about soccer, from the day he was born, his parents had made it their mission to ensure hiori would excel, as opposed to their failures in the past as athletes, where they always never seem to get the number 1 spot.

However, we can see glimpses of how this have strained his relationship with his parents. I mean, his parents made him, just to impose their unfulfilled aspirations on Hiori, which can be mentally draining. Normally anyone would shut themselves out from others, a case of emotional distance as a way to shield themselves. But then again, he doesn't. After seeing how he was still able to make a connection with Isagi and Nanase, we can't just say for sure this means he emotionally closed off. I cant see him fully succumbing to his parents emotional manipulation. Hiori has proven himself to be strong enough to realize what he wants.

He might not seek out relationships, but if fate grants him one, it would depend on both him and the person whether or not hiori sees them as worth it, or someone that he really wants.

This might be his first step of him realizing his wants and having something he genuinely wanted, and not putting it in the hands of his parents, but rather his. And his alone.

How long would it take : Hiori doesn't shut off people, like rin or kaiser. Nor is he unable to feel emotions. I would give him 5 months. Even more if possible because it would take a while for him to see someone in a romantic aspect, and want to date them.

What conditions must be met :

1. That person has spent enough time with him, and doesnt need constant Involvement. I feel like a controlling partner is a no for him. His parents are already enough

2. His type is questionable. And I don't know how to incorporate it, so I won't involve it, but if he has to choose who he wants to be with, his partner doesn't have to be involved with soccer, if his partner is involved though, then okay. But I have a feeling he would prefer it if his partner wasn't involved in soccer. Since not being involve in something he deems as a restraint, would make him view that person as a comfort zone.

In short, he can fall in love. There might be times where his partner experiences some space in their relationship, a space in which Hiori deems as appropriate. He would care for his partner, but his partner can only do so much and wouldn't be able to fix his problem. Atleast for him.

Ness Alexis

Can they fall in love : Of course. Ness falls into the category of emotionally manipulated people. Ness secretly craves for acceptance, for the magic that he himself believes in. Its such a shame it was used against him in the end. The lack of acceptance in one's family can affect how you proceed with life with the very thing that caused it. And for Ness, that was his belief of "magic". His family being scientists makes the situation both ironic but also pitiful. His beliefs were crushed by his own family— people that should've supported him instead of making him feel disregarded, which left a hole in his sense of self, which laid him vulnerable enough for Kaiser to take advantage of him. Ness was easily manipulated as he was in a vulnerable position. A position where he is deprived from the very thing he believes in, and so he seeks this concept in order to fulfill his beliefs.

It isn't a surprise if someone, maybe a potential love interest uses this against him as a way to gain his favor. Ness is vulnerable. So if the potential interest takes advantage of this fact, it wouldn't be so hard for Ness to attach himself to that person, falling in love wouldn't be too long.

But if I was being honest, someone that accepts him, is honest and doesn't manipulate him would be an ideal partner for Ness. For a healthy relationship, that person must be someone not cruel enough to use his vulnerability against him, but rather pull him out of it— bringing him out of potential toxic interactions with others who are cruel enough to use it against him.

He mentions his ideal type as someone that can handle their solitude. It's the complete opposite of how he is— he couldn't handle it and thus his solitude made him vulnerable. For me, this isn't just his "ideal type" but rather a reflection of the type of person that he both aspires to be, and can trust.

How long would it take : A manipulative person, who knows how to take advantage of his vulnerability, would take them less than 3 days. He would fall in love in a week if he starts to depend on that person, as they manipulate him. If someone is honest and genuine, it would still take the same amount of time but if they are honest, it means they won't use his vulnerability against him so it would take a few days longer. Their kindness and genuine affection wouldn't make him take so long to fall in love. A week or more.

What conditions must be met :

1. They don't shut him down

2. With the right interactions and moments where Ness truly feels happy or accepted.

In short, yes he can. It wouldn't even take as long but Ness would indeed fall in love with someone if it comes down it. Especially if he depends on that person more and more for their validation and acceptance. If he does end up with someone, he would be the most loyal person I know, as well as the most caring.

But right now, with Kaiser currently taking place in that hole that Kaiser manipulated his way into, it might go differently (let me know if you want me to further go deeper in this).

Aiki Himizu

Can they fall in love : he would but it would take a long time of trust. And by trust, it means gaining HIS trust. He grew up in a household where both of his parents are wearing faces every day. Faces that are "fake" and he constantly had to put up with their constant lies.

He is described as someone that has a snake-like personality. I think it fits him, Aiki's skills in the field involves mostly feints, which is really befitting considering how his entire character has a relation with lies— how he makes it his goal to figure out everyone's true colors in the field. Their true self. He believes that everyone's personality are built up from lies that they make up, which pushes him to expose people's true feelings. For him it's not in a case of being satisfied for making people lose it, but rather something deep inside him, wishes to see something genuine.

If he were to fall in love, it wouldn't be with someone that lies constantly. No. I cant see him wanting to pull himself in a place where he has to constantly guess what the person's true feelings are. He would like someone genuine. Someone that isn't laced with pure fakeness, but rather honesty. That person doesn't have to be a complete Saint to the point they'd have to mot lie their whole life. But he'd just want that person to be genuine enough for him, in a way that won't make him feel the discomfort he felt since childhood. It might be hard though, I feel like making him see that someone is genuine and isn't lying would take so much time. But once he trusts someone, he would see them as his comfort zone. Though his personality may not be as tamed when he trusts someone, if that person breaks his trust, he wouldn't trust again.

How long would it take : Very long. Maybe 9 months max? It might lessen if he can feel that person's honesty and he wouldn't see himself second guessing anymore.

What conditions must be met?:

1. That person gains his trust

2. That person is patient

In short, yes he can. But it takes time. Trust takes time. But once he trusts, that person can never break it, otherwise he would totally have a much harder time trusting then and his second guessing persona would worsen.

_____________________________

Thanks for the asks!!! Really enjoyed making this, and I got to meet a new character hehe. I hope you enjoyed reading!!! 😻😻😻

[flutterbyoz]

It always surprises me, or maybe it doesn't given what the general TWD fandom can be like, that people are using the fact that The Ones Who Live is a love story as a reason to criticise the show.

The fact it is a love story was never hidden, it was never a secret or kept as a surprise, it's what the show was repeatedly promoted and advertised as. Andy, Danai and Scott never misled anyone into thinking it was going to be anything else, they were quite clear and pointed out that TOWL would be a love story every chance they got. So if someone saw any of the promo, interviews etc whether online or on TV and were going into this show expecting something else then I don't really know what to say other than they probably should have paid more attention.

The show was not aimed at or made for people who hate Richonne. I get that not everyone is a Richonne fan, to each their own for the most part, but when you watch their spin off, what else are you expecting other than a love story? Especially with Andy and Danai at the helm, it seems some people really don't understand the characters at all.

I know some people tuned in just to see what happened to Rick and that's great, the show isn't solely for Richonners but if the love story with his wife and love of his life annoys you so much that you can't continue watching your fave in their spin off and the feel the need to announce that you quit half way through then not only do I have to wonder why you hate their relationship so much but also say that you're purposefully ignoring a huge part of who Rick is and why he does what he does. I don't think you can fully understand and know Rick without his relationship with Michonne and how his love for her and hers for him shapes him into the man he is today. Without Michonne, Rick is a shell of himself, she is his entire world, she and their kids are his reason for everything so you're not going to get a Rick story without Michonne, because without Michonne there isn't really a Rick.

Had this been Rick and Daryl instead of Rick and Michonne, had they been the ones with the emotional scenes I can pretty much guarantee a large majority of the people who complained about Rick and Michonne would have no problem with Rick and Daryl. It's what a lot of them have been calling for since Rick was taken not to mention the people who are bitter that Richonne gets everything they have wanted for their ship for years.

Attacking a show because it is what it was promoted as and did exactly what it set out to do is more than a little bizarre to me but I suppose it's just another way to criticise and disregard Rick and Michonne's relationship and diminish Michonne's importance.

I know, if we see Richonne again, it's going to be another love story and those who complained before will most likely complain again but only one spin off has been the most successful, a hit for the franchise and for AMC, included on numerous best of lists, gained Emmy buzz, received overwhelmingly positive reviews from critics and fans alike, has multiple Saturn award nominations and given this franchise a new lease of life. I find it strange to watch a show knowing full well you're only doing so to find something to complain about and though those viewers are just a small percentage of TOWLs overall viewers they did the exact opposite of what they wanted to do. Instead of bringing the show down they're just raising it up even higher!

Nothing will stop this ship, everyone wants a piece of them, they draw everyone in even those who say they don't care or even like them together and that's the power or Richonne!

[ro-writesstuff]

jealousy, jealousy - matty healy

minors DNI, all my fics are 18+

summary: you don't tell your best friend you're going on a date.

Against your outward disapproval, your friend set you up with a friend of a friend. He was your type: built and tall and handsome, with a hint of mysteriousness to him. 

However that role in your life was already filled. 

You and Matty had been friends for a while. He was always your brother’s friend, though, so you were skeptical of him at first. You’d grown closer over the years, reluctantly in the beginning to be honest, but found Matty to be kind and genuine. Your relationship turned into something more over the past year, however.

Not “more” as in you were dating, or officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but you just got more… comfortable around each other. Certain things he did set off something within you, though like him being a gentleman and walking you to your car, bringing you flowers for different accomplishments, that kind of stuff. Then it escalated to cuddling on the couch, and doing couple-y activities like going to the movies. 

You always pushed away whatever feelings you had of Matty, never truly certain of what they really were. He was just a friend and it stayed that way for years. And that was the problem.

Though it took some convincing from your friend, you decided to meet up with the guy. It was just a date, after all. 

It couldn’t hurt, right?

***

You opened the door to you and your brothers’ apartment with a soft push, hoping your brother was asleep. Your eyes were met with the harsh contrast of the TV against the darkness of the living room, forcing your vision to narrow. The loading screen of some game played silently, characters running amok on the screen. To your luck, you heard George’s familiar, soft snores erupt from the couch as you took a breath to shut the door. 

A figure popped up from the couch, hair messy and curly and gorgeous. Without fail you knew who it was. 

Voice hushed, you greeted him. “Oh hey Matty, I didn’t know-“ 

“Do you know what fucking time it is Y/N?” His voice was gruff and hushed as to not wake your sleeping brother next to him. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on. 

“Oh uh,” 

“Where have you been?” It was clear worry and anger was evident in his voice. More so anger.

Jealousy even? Maybe. 

A pang of confusion and fear hit your chest. He’s never talked to you this way, and it started to freak you out.

You responded slowly, gauging him, “On a date.” 

A date. A date? You told him everything, why not this? To be honest, he came over to George’s to of course see his mate, but to get a glimpse of you as well. He’d been having a rough day, and he knew the best medicine was the mix of you both. So, when that didn’t happen he was much more agitated than he was earlier. 

His chest tightened as he was trying to keep himself calm. “Okay. Now exactly where were you,” he stepped closer, and you could smell his cologne; the one that normally smells sweet but has worn off with the hint of cigarettes. 

He’d been acting like he wasn’t just checking your location for the last hour trying to find out where you were, and the maps app didn’t know either; just somewhere twenty five minutes away. 

“At his apartment.” 

Damn it. 

He knew he was being paranoid, but hundreds of scenarios swam in his head. What if he was just charming enough to make you think he was the one when all he really wanted was sex? What if he was the kind of guy to kick you out of his apartment in the middle of the night and left you all alone? What if he was some deranged serial killer that could have hurt you? 

You’re the one and only thing he truly cares for. And the thought of you and some fucking guy started to make his blood boil. No one was supposed to take you from him. You were his. 

He was seething. “Fuck, Y/N. Seriously? He could’ve killed you!” 

Your brother stirred on the couch, a good reminder to you both to keep your voices hushed. 

“It was just a date, why do you care?”

He felt the tightness again in his chest, as well as a familiar feeling he had been trying to figure out for years. Last time, “just a date” turned into a serious boyfriend, who inevitably broke your heart, leaving Matty to piece it back together just to see you run off to another guy to try and forget him. 

Matty had been waiting ages to tell you that he’d fancied you. Constantly promising himself that he’d never let his emotions get in the way of your friendship; he was a big boy, he could handle that. Matty simply wanted whatever you did, even if it meant you kissing and loving someone else. 

He couldn’t let you know it bothered him this much, though. Not like this. 

Defeated, he sighs, dropping his volume. “It’s just late, and you know I worry. Just, uh, just, glad you’re home safe.” Once again he plopped down on your couch, remnants of a glum expression on his face as his thumb slid over hitting the ‘play’ button as cartoon characters silently cheered across the screen, distracting him from the overwhelming urge to say those three little words. 

You scoffed, trotting to your room, annoyed at his actions. He bugged you more than words can describe sometimes. 

*** 

Repeated buzzes on your nightstand awoke you from sleep. 12 messages from your friends’ group text, probably asking you how your date went, along with a text each from George, your mum, and Matty. You clicked Matty’s first, anticipating a small apology and an emoji. 

Be careful when you open your door, love. Don’t crush anything. 

Confused, you throw the sheets off you, cracking open your door seeing a Tesco bag and wrappers of your favorite candy peeking out of it, alongside beautiful daisies wrapped in plastic with a note on top of them. Picking them up, you sat them on your bed as you read the sloppy handwriting. 

Sorry bout last night. Hope it didn’t spoil your evening. Take these as a sign of my utmost gratitude you didn’t curse me out xx

You chuckle at the last bit, bringing the daisies to your kitchen to find a vase for them, as you were met by the man who wrote you the note. He shot you a grin like he always did, the one that made you feel so much in a span of seconds. 

Your heart fluttered. “Morning.” 

Matty loved the look of the flowers in your hand. His flowers. He wished it wasn’t under the circumstances, of course, but he imagined you holding the ones he’d give you for your birthday, an anniversary, something. He shakes away the silly daydream as you reach for the cabinet knob where you stored the glass vases. 

Just as Matty was going to ramble out an apology, George’s voice sneaked up from behind him. 

“What are those?” 

You reckon he didn’t tell George. 

“Oh, um. They’re from my date last night,” you lied quickly.   

Matty could feel the jealousy start to grow in his chest at just the thought of you getting flowers from anyone else but him. Although he’d only seen you a handful of times in the morning, it was a sight he’d always been happy to wake up to. The morning light always caught your features perfectly, highlighting all of his favorite things about you. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot. They’re pretty huh, Matty?” He said, nudging his friend. 

“Yeah,” he mumbled. 

Really pretty.

[pixistix-xp]

1/: therian, nonhuman, questioning others :]

2/: Wolf/werewolf and black cat ^_^

3/: I experience phantom shifts! I do get wing shifts sometimes, although I do not have any know theriotypes to have wings. XD

4/: well... I experience it to every extent. being a physical really does weigh in on my experience. I feel the need to be precieved as a wolf, I feel werewolf/wolf all the time, I never feel human fully, I am always a wolf, werewolf, or have important features in my head. Basically, my brain precieves myself and everything around me through wolf perspective!

5/: it depends on where you look! tiktok: huge no, snapchat: also huge no, insta: hardly see us other than being bullied, tumblr: best alterhuman platform tbh, reddit: sometimes okay, mostly no, and super obscure random alterhuman websites tend to have the best communities. I mostly hate the way the community claims to be accepting yet we all subconsciously put others down (even i used to have a problem with that and still probably do (call me out on that btw)). the actually accepting parts of the community are very awesome though and I'm glad to have a space to be free and share my feelings without much judgement! I feel very seen and heard.

6/: AGHHH I COULD GO ON A RANT FOREVER! I love the woods, cozy and dark spaces, paw tattoos, claw mark tattoos, red flannels, black nail polish and glow in the dark nail polish, bare"foot" walking (especially on sand), jumping in water, rain, winter, my back teeth, phantom limbs, and more! for my black cat theriotype, although I really am not experiencing much euphoria or dysphoria recently, nostalgia, red eye photos, cameras, being scared, minecraft, dying my hair, being called bad luck, walking in hallways and alleys, and more!

7/: yes, not as bad as I was awhile ago, but it'll come back like mid January maybe sooner

8/: do proper research and talk to older alterhumans! also, it takes TIME to find yourself and your true identity, don't rush into anything!

9/: I do really want some when I'm older, out of the house I'm in, and have money! I want a tail, ears, paws, tattoos, fake teeth, and maybe patch more of my clothes. I also want a werewolf fursuit to be able to feel more wolf-like on full moons.

10/: my werewolf origins are heavily unknown, i genuinley just think i was born this way, and I might not ever know how or why I'm a werewolf. my black cat origins are heavily psychologically and emotionally induced. really just being outcasted and feeling "weird and different" socially caused me to just- be a cat XD for some reason whenever I was little I just said "I AM A CAT" and i know why I felt animalistic, where I got cat from, who knows :,]

11/: i feel like you would enjoy tag games XD (all good if not!) @hexemil

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[pinkkop]

For the past while I've been wanting to start doing weekly post about the QL's I'm watching and the new year is the perfect opportunity to start doing just that!

It'll be a place where i can share my thoughts on the BL and GL shows while I'm watching them and leave my final thoughts as well.

This week I've just left the shows in alphabetical order but I'll probably start sorting them from most to least liked next week. Also I hope this post doesn't feel too long since I don't know where I'd place a cut 😊

Let me know if there's anything you find confusing or if there's anything I could do better for next week.

QL Recap for Week 1 The 30th of December to 5th of January

🇹🇭 Caged Again Ep. 9 of 10 ----- Watching on: Gagaoolala

I'm still enjoying this a lot but it's definitely lost some of its spark. 

🇹🇭 Fourever You Ep. 15 of 16 ---------- Watching on: Gray

I'd completely forgotten that WeTV starts fast-tracking the episodes towards the end so color me surprised when I saw that ep 15 was also available and unsurprisingly I watched it the second I realized. I lost interest in Ter and Hill a couple of episodes ago so I don't pay much attention to them anymore. I am however really enjoying Johan and North. I feel like I haven't seen this kind of pairing before. I'm really enjoying the slow development of North slowly learning who Johan is and opening up to him and then Johan slowly opening up to North as well. I'm not a fan of when characters get unnecessarily jealous of their romantic interest's friends or have a problem with friends being close like when Hill saw a problem with how North and Ter cuddle. On top of this I don't like when a character makes decisions for their romantic interest unless they are small decisions, which meant that I also wasn't a fan of how Hill and Johan fixed the "problem" with Ter and North cuddling. Like who the fuck just moves their boyfriend out of their place and into yours without asking first 🤯. Those two things are the only major gripes I have with this show right now and I mostly just try to ignore them because Johan and North are still hella cute and I love that they are finally officially dating without drawing it out unnecessarily (looking at you, Hill and Ter).

🇯🇵 Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu Ep. 9 of 10 ----- Watching on: Gagaoolala

I'm not sure where they are heading and what Hirukawa is thinking with how he is acting but I've really enjoyed this show as a whole so I trust that it'll all make sense next week with the final episode.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners Ep. 11 of 24 ------- Watching on: Youtube

I really like Gun and Yotha as a pairing and I'm definitely invested in this show but it's not at the top of the list.

🇹🇭 Petrichor Ep. 6 of 10 ----------- Watching on: iQiYi

So many reveals this episode! This show is not quite the same level of brain-rot as Spare Me Your Mercy was for me but I'm having a good time and I'm invested in the story.

🇹🇭 Sangmin Dinneaw Ep. 2 of 8 ----------- Watching on: iQiYi

The first episode was promising and I'm always a fan of characters having sexual fantasies because it gives a good insight into the character's feelings, both because of the fantasy but also with how they react to it. Episode two made me feel more like I was watching a pulp drama and I'll admit that I'm not a big fan of the over the top acting of some of the characters which seems like those characters will keep being a part of the story going forward. It's just not a type of humor I find funny but so far it's not enough for me to drop this show. The trailer was steeped in it though so who knows how much of the show will focus on that kind of humor.

🇹🇼 See Your Love Ep. 12 of 13 ---- Watching on: Gagaoolala

These two are just the cutest and I'm enjoying them so much. The small touches and the casual kisses are so good and it makes them feel really real and like a good match in a way that not all BL couples do when we get to experience them after they get together. I love how Shaopeng's deafness is still a part of the plot but not in the sense that it needs to be fixed, it's just a natural part of him and it bleeds into all aspects of the plot in a really great way. Honestly this is just such a solid show! 10/10 would recommend. I'd just like for the episodes to be just 5-10 min longer so I could get more of the second couple.

🇹🇭 ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat Ep. 4 of 13 -------- Watching on: Youtube

I'm still absolutely on board with this show. The plot of getting the band together feels a little simple but I really don't mind it because it works well with Thame and Poo getting to know each other. After this episode I wonder whether Jun actually believed what he said about Thame to Po. Like does he really believe that Thame isn't interested in Po or is he just trying to avoid them getting together? Either way it was so delicious to see Po start doubting himself but then Thame once again showing loudly with his actions that he is so interested in Po and that Po is a priority to him. Like who talks on the phone for hours, falls asleep still on the call and then just keeps being on the phone when you wake up again and then pretty much serenades the other person in the morning 🤯 Absolute bonkers behavior from Thame and I'm so here for it. This actually makes me wonder how self-aware Thame actually is? Does he know that he has feelings for Po? 

🇹🇭 The Boy Next World Ep. 1 of 10 ----------- Watching on: iQiYi

This is definitely a show where I needed to lower my expectations before watching the first episode because I've really been looking forward to this and I'd much rather set my expectations low and be happily surprise. I really liked the production quality of this show after the first episode and Boss and Noeul are doing really well. I'm definitely still excited about this show even if the first ep left me a little confused but I think that's to be expected when a show introduces concepts like parallel universes so I'm expecting that it'll make sense with time.

🇹🇭 Your Sky Ep. 8 of 12 ----------- Watching on: iQiYi

These two are so damn cute! This show just keeps being this little happy bubble for me. I'm glad they didn't drag out the misunderstanding so now they just gotta figure out how to bone. I like Real and Hia a lot as well but we don't really get enough of them for me to get completely invested. So far I'm not entirely sure what Hia thinks and feels because we've only really seen glimpses of Real realizing he has feelings for Hia. I'm guessing we'll get more of them while Fah and Rak figure out how to be a couple. 

That's it for this week!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)

[petalkitshadow]

Talking About: Appledusk

So, Appledusk is a character who my interpretation of probably gets questioned the most by readers. Which is understandable! He's not really an antagonist in MV; or, at least, the reader is supposed to understand in MV that while Mapleshade views him antagonistically, the narration is biased into her favor due to the story being from her POV. But the role he takes on in PkS is quite actually antagonistic to Petalpaw and her struggles.... so I thought it would be interesting to dive into it and explain my thoughts behind why I wrote him the way I did!

So - I want to start out by saying that Appledusk is a fictional character. It doesn't bother me if you like Appledusk, or view him differently than I do. I just happen to dislike him, which I think is pretty clear from how he fits into Petalkit's Shadow, lol. But even if I dislike him, I still wanted him to play an interesting role and serve his purpose, which involves making him as frustrating as possible!

When coming up with ideas for how characters will be in PkS, I often don't have much to go on. Mapleshade is really the only character from the cast who has a ton of focus in the canon books. Appledusk is one of those characters who falls a bit in a middle ground. He has enough going for him in MV that you can get a basic idea for how he is, but you still gotta do a lot of legwork on figuring out deeper aspects of his character. for PkS, I look at the characters' actions and go, "what kind of person would do this?" and then write the kind of person who I think would do that, basically.

Appledusk, he struck me as being very focused on self preservation. When he's with Mapleshade in private, he has no problem being loving to her and the kits. But the moment he might face repercussions - repercussions Mapleshade is already facing, he becomes detached and cold. What stuck out to me is how Mapleshade kept thinking that Appledusk never asked the kits' names. Now, Mapleshade as a narrator is biased. But she's right - Appledusk never asks what the names of his children are. He gives no outward signs of grief when faced with their death, and he makes no attempt to speak privately with Mapleshade after the kits drown. Of course, anger is a very valid form of grief, as we all know from Petalpaw. but Appledusk then going on to throw Mapleshade under the bus, and not show her a shred of sympathy even though he is currently suffering from the exact same prejudice that cost Mapleshade everything, speaks to me a lot about his values. When faced with his supposed loved one at her lowest, with nothing left to lose, his reaction is to distance himself from her as much as possible in the hopes that he will be punished less. It's cowardly, it's infuriating, and makes him seem so, so cruel to me.

And then, there's Reedshine. Reedshine in canon irks me a lot, in a meta sense. She's been hurt in similar ways as Mapleshade. Appledusk cheated on her too! But she immediately forgives him, and shows no conflict about Appledusk's actions. She's given no room to grieve or to hurt, she has to immediately come to Appledusk's defense. Reedshine and Mapleshade were both made to bear pain that Appledusk had no interesting in helping them shoulder.

To me, it really felt like Appledusk took the women in his life for granted. Why else would he have an affair, and not confess to it until literal, physical, damning evidence was put on display for everyone to see? Did he consider his own feelings, his own wants and desires, to be more important than that of Mapleshade, or Reedshine's? Mapleshade, with her penchant for cold-blooded murder, is definitely a worse person than Appledusk. But Appledusk's cruelty, I think it gets more under my skin because it feels real. How many serial killers do you know? probably none. But how many indifferent men who think women are just too emotional do you know? how many half-rate, self-absorbed fathers do you know? probably a small selection, at least.

So, when coming up with the basics for PkS, I imagined in the wake of this fiasco, Appledusk would be most focused on his own image, like he seems to be in canon. He wants to go back to being an esteemed, respected warrior. What's the best way to do that? Is it to step up, and be there for his traumatized daughter, offer her guidance and try to to fill the void left by losing her other parent?

No, of course not. Because to Appledusk, his daughter is a constant reminder of the mistakes he's made. He doesn't want to reckon with those mistakes, and he doesn't want to consider that he did something wrong.

In a way... he is a lot like his daughter. (Petalpaw would kill me if she could read me typing this, lol). They both are set in their ways, and very, very stubborn.

So, tl;dr... Appledusk in PkS is an extrapolation based on what I interpret from his character. But he's a character with so little to go on I think there are many ways to interpret him. This is just my thought process about him!

[ts-janus-rp-blog]

"Eh... Sometimes I do... Sometimes I don't... I mainly just do it from peer pressure and...cause I gotta keep up appearances... I'm known as the guy who will fuck anything with a pulse, you know? I gotta keep fucking anything that comes my way...or else people will get suspicious..."

Remus nodded slowly, "I...figured as much... Remy kinda does that too... He can act nice and once we enter the bedroom he would act differently... I get it... It's very scary when someone does that and... I was doing that too, wasn't I? Fuck, I'm sorry, Ems... No, it's nothing you did. It's nothing you did at all... I do it to everyone and... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Remus reached up a hand to brush the tears away from his eyes. "I... Yeah... We should, I guess? I've never talked about it before though... So uh... I don't think I'll be good at it? Uh... But I'll try? I'm never good when it comes to talking it out but...it does get easier with you so I dunno... I... Thank you...for still loving me..." He sucked in a breath. "I still love you too, Ems... Well... I guess we'll work through this, huh? Hey, no problem. That's one of the reasons why I'm here, right? It's cool. I don't...want you to feel like how I feel when someone ignores your feelings and keeps going. It's not cool."

Remus gave him a small squeeze, and he nuzzled against his head. "We're both so fucked up, aren't we?"

Patton knocked desperately at the strangers door, praying someone, anyone was home. His heart beat as fast and loud as the rain thundering against the sidewalk. He was sure he was being followed, they were going to catch him. They were going to drag him back. He wasn't sure if whoever lived here might be worse, but he was willing to risk it at this point. Anything to escape.

{@moralpuppylover2}

Janus didn't know who would be at the door. It was late, but his master won't surely be home at this time. He normally doesn't get home until the sun starts to come up.

So, as the dog hybrid walked up to the door and opened it, he wondered who it could be. And if he should open it at all... Who knows, he may get in trouble with his master for opening the door. But, his curiosity was getting the better of him-

He stopped when he saw the soaking wet cat standing at the doorway. He could tell that this cat needed help almost immediately. Well, if his poor state of clothes were anything to go by. His eyes flickered up and down the sidewalk before he grabbed pattons arm and pulled him inside.

"are you alright?" Janus nervously asked as he grabbed a towel from the mud room. "Well, that's a stupid question, of course you're not alright! Are you...running away from your owners?" As Janus walked, the collar around his neck would jingle loudly. And even though it was cold outside and even in the house, he only had a pair of boxers on. Because of that, Patton would be able to see the numerous large scars that covered his body...and the countless amounts of fresh bruises.

@moralpuppylover2

[ladypiscesmoon]

Year ahead Timothée Chalamet (this reading was done on 1/3/2025) Personal year card: no 12 the hanged man

Overall feeling of 2024:

Follow your shining star

summer dreams

Last year his thinking was influenced a lot by others. He wasn't relying on his own intuition. Because after the Beyoncé concert, it was obvious he had made a mistake. He didn't know which way to go. He has to follow his heart. He should follow what it tells him. Even when others try to steer him away from that path. Heart over ego. I almost think he wanted to tick off all the boxes of being a young, famous actor. But it came with a huge price, he lost a big piece of himself.

overall feeling of 2025:

Starlight

angel of the secret glade

australian agate

calcite

Timmy has to cast away all the upsetting things from the previous year. In a way he has a new chance to do better this year. He has to reinvent himself in a way that brings him pleasure. He shouldn't endure what others want to make him do. He should say to himself: "I intend to live my life fully". Move on and live his life on his OWN terms.

He holds back too often to see how others feel about his ideas and thoughts. The universe asks him to look outwards not only inwards. He doesn't notice the spark that lies within him, he worries too much about others. He has to be brave in his thoughts and allow his actions to follow.

This year he's given the courage to tackle what seems at present to be a complex and somewhat insurmountable problem. He's got to stand his ground, yet keep his calm and not allow anyone to bully him psychologically or emotionally.

All concerned will soon realize the truth that he already knows for quite some time: this particular person in his life is not the person they present themselves to be.

With the calcite present, his energy levels are on the increase. he will soon find a new sense of vitality and enthusiasm for life. There's hope he will communicate better and people will pay attention and they will want to be part of his life.

What does he have to release from 2024?

Green witches: communication/productivity

he has to be clearer in his communication, let go of waiting until somebody tells him what to do. Let go of his fears, listen to his gut. He's got to talk to people he cares about, be frank and direct to them. The same goes for his team. People don't know what he really wants but if he wants to change things he has to speak up for himself.

His work /private life was out of balance last year. Being productive and do what he loves is a good thing, until he uses it as a coping mechanism to not address his own problems. He's compassionate and intuitive, but he didn't listen to what his gut tried to tell him.

The year 2025 as a whole:

Modern Lenormand deck:

the anchor/the cross/the moon, the tree/the stork/the moon, the mountain/the coffin/the rider

stuck in a area of life unable to move forward

a consistent person in his life giving him stability

a stable person

being the baby in the family

last chance: waiting for change

enduring his emotions

relying on spirituality

persevering even though something is extremely painful

something being cut off/long term problems

warning signs

blocking someone from being able to message

stopping a visitor

end of a problem

end to a suffering

sustained disconnection

staying after a disconnection

surgery for arthritis

chronic illness/slow illness arrives

an ending that's fated

risking being in a lot of pain

deciding to make a sacrifice

being more patient

metamorphosis

returning a dreamer

relocating of a celebrity

This year seems to be about sacrifice and patience. He's got to look at things differently and follow his own path. In an earlier reading I pulled something about his style and he's really playing with it at the moment. He wants a more 'adult-like' look, but not a boring or stuffed one.

He should take it easier this year, maybe a short break and think hard. But he can't have his cake and eat it too, so he has to sacrifice some things in order to feel happier again. Also there seems to come some illness coming his way, but it could be him feeling unwell(unbalanced and anxious and lonely) at the moment or it could be someone he loves being ill, or will be this year.

He could also be moving this year

Overall (LOVE)

don't give up on love

surprise: someone making a move towards him

hesitation; still being on the fence/overcoming a situation

many options

unconventional love

string along

welcoming love

open your heart

getting together, perfect

he seems to get genuine love this year, and I'm glad he will. The universe gives him the tools, he has to do something about it. He has to take a leap of faith. With heart on a key the universe is nudging him to finally take a chance in love, he shouldn't ignore the signs He has to make the effort. This person is from a past life. I think he will make an effort with all his personal relationships this year. He also had to think more through how his decisions will affect his loved ones.

Overall (CAREER/MONEY)

the high priestess reversed (blocked intuition, clouded insight, doubt, secrets, cognitive dissonance, disconnect, superficially, confusion, hidden motives)

7 of pentacles (long term investments, sustained patience, perseverance, hard work, success&waiting, harvest, results, profits, planning)

In the beginning of this year he will be lost and stuck. When he begins to have his healing and his inner journey, he will find enthusiasm and ambition again, but in a less manic way than before. He will be happier in his work too.

Overall (HEALTH)

2 of swords reversed

4 of pentacles

 At the moment his health is not the best. The 2 of swords reversed indicate that his natural defenses or his immune system are down. He's slowly admitting to himself he feels unwell. He has a lot of anxiety, mental distress and fear.

The 4 of pentacles can indicate a tendency to cling to old habits, patterns, or emotional baggage that may be negatively impacting his health. he may have been resisting necessary changes or holding onto stress and anxiety, last year and if he doesn't take better care of himself it could manifest as physical ailments or mental-emotional imbalances.

Month for month:

For this part of the reading I used the following decks; the Angel numbers oracle cards, the cosmic insights and the lucid dreams beginners tarot

January-April

(I took a picture but the last card of the angel cards has to be 555 in stead of 0303 (sorry for the mistake))

January:

333: social skills (hope, optimism liberation, success, prosperity, excitement, enthusiasm)

cycles (fate, karma, something ending, something beginning)

king of swords (mental clarity, truth, head over heart, reason)

Death (symbolic death and rebirth, big changes, time to move on, transformation, endings, letting go, release, starting anew)

It seems that Timmy feels a bit more clear about what he has to do. This is a new year and he feels like he has a new chance to do things differently. Something is ending for him and something else is beginning. It is time to let some things of the past go

February:

0808: swift action (wealth, empathy, promises, commitment, affection, inner strength, auspicious outcomes)

intimacy: sexual chemistry, reminiscing

the sun (pure positivity, ultimate happiness, joy, success)

10 of cups (happiness, divine love, blissful relationship, harmony, alignment, family, love&support)

February will be a good month for Timmy. He feels a lot happier and feels more supported by family/friends. His finances are improving. Someone is giving him a lot of love and that gives him strength to make some decisions. He will act swiftly to make his life better.

March:

222: Alignment (connections, family ties, romantic relationships, friendships, balance, life choices, compromise, commitment, trust)

baecation

three of pentacles

knight of wands

Choosing to do what makes him happy, trying to find himself again. Traveling or going on a vacation. feeling a lot more energetic.

April:

555: change, encouragement, support, obstacle, battle, calling, restructuring, creative work)

the devil reversed (recovery, leaving abusive, toxic situations, detachment, freedom, facing shadows, independence, reclaiming power, release)

patience (just a few more months, good things come to those who wait)

2 of cups (unified love, partnership, mutual attraction, romantic love, connection, mutual respect, joining forces, close bonds, unity)

Change is giving a bit of anxiety, but he will have a lot of support. Moving forward with a (romantic) relationship

May-August

May:

1212: persistence (shift, enthusiasm, gratitude, contentment, new experiences

take immediate action

lovely partnership/epic romance

commitment (things are getting serious)

8 of pentacles (dedication, hard work, talent, high standards. commitment, expertise)

6 of swords (transitions, leaving behind, moving on to calmer waters, distance, accepting lessons)

this month seems about getting the insight and moving on from painful lessons from last year. working on a new project, or a sequel.

June

777: good luck (contentment, prosperity, abundance, spiritual awakening, divine intervention)

being unsure of something.

not knowing how to get a message across to the public

sexuality (someone is still figuring themselves out)

ace of cups (new relationship, compassion, creativity, new emotions, emotional awakening, deeper feelings, proposal, spirituality, intimacy)

queen of cups (compassion, warmth, caring, intuition, healer, supportive, in the flow, empathy)

I think I can summarize this month: growth, in all aspects of his life.

July:

0909: new beginnings (great chance, opportunity, courage, accomplishment, endings, conclusions, big love)

spy (someone got their eye on you. you are doing your research)

the lovers reversed (self-love, imbalance, disharmony, break up, arguments, discord, bad choices, conflict, detachment, indecision)

9 of cups reversed (unhappiness, lack of fulfillment, greed, laziness, negative indulgence, ungrateful, disappointment, arrogance, underachieving)

You know what, last year was a disappointing year for Timmy. He was too arrogant, thinking that he could do almost anything and all his fans would love him. But a lot didn't and were very vocal about it. They critiqued his look, his choices, even his films. The pr went pear-shaped. The money he was welcome, because he does like this life style and the privileges of the rich. But, he's also a person who values his privacy and being so famous comes with a price. Everybody spies on him, he didn't know who to trust anymore. He really had to fall that deep into that trap in order to remember that he actually has other things he values even more in life. That it's lonely without love and friends and family. That he may not like it too much after all.

August:

1144: high vibes (divine intervention, prosperity, big ventures, fated events, faith, purpose, higher calling)

date night (get ready to be wined and dined)

6 of cups (stuck in the past, naivety, unrealistic, inability to let go or forgive, clinging)

5 of swords (conflict, disagreements, competitiveness, unfair defeat, winning at all costs, stress, hostility, aggression, bullying, intimidation)

This month he seems to get stuck in the past, rethinking about someone from his earlier love life, missing someone from the past, having rows with someone , maybe a romantic fling coming to an end, or thinking about a relationship that has come to an end

September-December

September:

2020: compassion (mercy, diplomacy, potential, service, recovery, adaptability, renewal)

his assumptions on something are correct

encouragement to stay true to himself

being of service to others

having an enormous potential

caution (find out more information, don't overwork yourself)

3 of wands reversed (delays, lack of planning and progress, setback, obstacles, frustration, unexpected delays)

king of cups (devoted, emotionally mature& balanced, intuitive, compassionate, supportive, empath)

It feels like a project is delayed, or a project he's doing at that moment will have delays. It feels like a delicate situation, could be something like a scandal, but it doesn't feel like it will be Timmy. It feels like someone else, but he has to be supportive and empathetic about it and trying to be diplomatic. Maybe it's a co-star or a friend that is going through hard times.

October:

0303: taking chances (success, knowledge, friendship, impatience, freedom, optimism)

seize the chances that are presented to you

do something out of the ordinary

welcome creative impulses in your work and personal life

have faith in your own abilities

challenges (make a decision, work on inner healing)

king of wands reversed (impulsiveness, ruthless, forceful, tyrant, domineering, weak leader, vicious powerless)

the hanged man reversed (delays, resistance, indecisions, standstill, apathy, selfishness, victim mentality, disinterest, stagnation, avoiding sacrifice)

There seems to be a set back, but Timmy should continue to work on his inner healing and there will be plenty of opportunities and chances to seize.

November:

9999: lessons learned (culmination, results, benefits, reflection, completion)

maintain optimism and drive forward to your goals

maintain your momentum, the powers of Heaven have your back

rewarded

guardian (a lost loved one watches over you)

the moon reversed (release of fear, secrets revealed, truth exposed, dreams, repressed emotions, clarity, understanding)

the star (hope, renewal, miracles, rejuvenation, faith, North Star, purpose, spirituality, inspiration, positivity, healing, inner clarity)

December:

1551: hold your vision (manifestation, abundance, money, dreams, vision and prosperity)

focus on the good and maintain your concentration the outcomes of your desire

yes (luck is on your side)

knight of swords (ambitious, fast-thinking, successful driven, assertive, direct, impatient, intellectual, daring, focused, perfectionism)

ace of pentacles reversed (lack of progress, immature, underachiever, missed opportunity, poor prospects, foolish, lazy procrastinator, missed chances)

Looking good for the last two months of the year IF Timmy continues on the path he was during 2025. He will have the luck on his side and a lot of things he wants to achieve will come to fruition. If he doubts himself again, there will be a set back and the luck will come to a still stand.

This concludes Timmy's year ahead. It looks promising, if he listens to his inner voice.

As ever: this reading is alleged and for entertainment purposes only.

Ask me anything if you want to know more about this reading or if something is unclear.

[cringefailvox]

Happy Chanukah!

(I don't remember if I actually sent this before, so apologies if this is a repeat!)

A while back I wrote an ask saying how sad it was that Alastor was forgotten in the finale. I also noticed that, from Alastor's perspective, nobody in the hotel really respects him, either. 

In particular, I never realized that in episode 3 when Vaggie bursts into his room demanding he take care of the egg boys, she is holding KeeKee in her hands!

That means that Alastor's door was LOCKED. She needs something from their facility manager, so she unlocks his room with the master key, interrupts his breakfast, and tells him what he has to do. That is such a breach of privacy.

So to Alastor, the hotel doesn't care enough to search for him after he goes MIA, doesn't respect his privacy, but still expects him to fulfill all the hotel repairs and their demands. Adding that Lucifer is probably living with them next season and will basically be the "bigger, better Alastor", I think Al will feel really useless. Why is he still there when everyone is that much happier with his replacement? PLUS he might be struggling to keep up while hiding an injury. You know...weakened powers and almost being sliced in half...Not that anyone in the hotel knows.

From what we see with Mimzy, Alastor' love language seems to be acts of service. He wants to be needed, to be noticed, to have people care.  This is going to be a real twist of the knife into his insecurities. 

Can't wait to see how the resident deer takes all this next season

i actually think the idea that vaggie probably just walks into his room all the time and he's always doing something horrific in there is really funny, esp if it never dissuades her from doing it again next time

BUT on the topic of lucifer being around from now on, i can definitely see it bothering him. honestly though, i think charlie is totally on alastor's side with this one -- she appreciates her dad being around and will take his support now that he's offering it, but she doesn't actually want him to snap his fingers and fix all her problems in some hamfisted attempt to win her favor. she knows what alastor's done for her, for everyone, and it's clear that she does value his presence even when he's annoying her, and combined with her strained relationship w/her dad, i think she's going to be more resistant to any dazzling displays lucifer might put on in trying to one-up alastor

i can see it playing out in an episode as lucifer repeatedly encroaching on alastor's business, whipping up elaborate breakfasts, trying his hardest to impress charlie and all her friends, to alastor's increasing irritation -- until finally charlie snaps at lucifer to just stop, he doesn't need to do all this for her to want him around, and in fact, this isn't earning him any points! this hotel is a product of all of their efforts, they don't need shortcuts to run this place! and i think it could lead to a heartfelt conversation between the two of them about how awkward things still are, and how he'll try harder from now on to listen to what she actually wants instead of just assuming he knows best. alastor gets to have his job back and lucifer asks next time if alastor could use a hand, and maybe that's an inroad to them actually tolerating each other :]

[causenessus]

present

part 0.3. HOY NO ESTARÉ

“que está pasando (what's going on) / ya no encuentro a los demás (i can't find the others anymore) te hice daño, me hiciste daño (i hurt you, you hurt me) hay un túnel largo (there is a long tunnel) y no se a donde voy (and I don't know where I'm going) / ya no tuve tiempo para decir adiós (i no longer had time to say goodbye)”

life should be about those domestic moments.

those small moments that aren’t really that small.

if you just focused on the present–what was right in front of you–nothing could be considered small. not the breaths you took continuously, one after the other, or a crosswalk sign that gives you the "go ahead" light to walk safely across a street and continue on with your day.

unfortunately, she didn’t have the luxury of enjoying those unappreciated moments.

for her, she lived to ruin others.

her job wasn’t the problem. it was the fact that she couldn't say that she was better off than those who crossed her. she ended her days coming home to a lonesome, tarnished life of her own. 

perhaps she was selfish to think she deserved better; this was the price for living in the darkness. it was a part of her that had been there since she was a child, the ever-winding shadows curling along her skin proof of their persistence.

a haunting reminder that even if she did ever find light in her life, her shadow was always behind her. 

but that night between her and chuuya after dazai had left proved different. that had been a small moment. the blank space at the end of a page of a book, once a chapter has ended but there was still room left for things to be said before the next part began. since then, showing up at each other’s doors late at night had become a common occurrence.

they talked about small things and big things. of things that they may have hesitated to say, but said anyway. and there was never any judgement, only small brushes of the hands, and looks that said more than words. 

it confused her. she couldn’t understand why she kept telling him things about her, whether they be of the past or just something in the moment that was bothering her. it was as if his gaze simply drew the words from her mouth the moment it landed on her and he was waiting for her to speak. she often ignored the meaningless negative emotions and annoyances she felt throughout the day in the event that it caused her to develop a sense of self-pity. yet, the way he listened to her made her feel as if they weren’t measly problems—as if maybe it was okay to sometimes admit something was bothering her.

but it was uncomfortable to be placed in such a foreign situation where she was not only sharing her thoughts but also being validated for them. despite how much she disliked the idea of trying out something new, though, she couldn't bear to pull away from the boy who never failed to show up at her doorstep the next night no matter what they had discussed on the previous one. it was an intangible feeling that underlay what she understood to be a feeling of safety she associated with him, allowing her to trust him with her emotions. there was so much she couldn't understand about what she felt she almost wanted to tear her heart out and be done with all these complex paradoxes called emotions—

“whaddya thinking about?” olive green eyes came into view, a boy’s face inches away from her own.

she swatted his face away, the ruminating mood she'd drifted into ruined, “don’t worry about it.”

he huffed, falling back into step next to her before she heard the faint sound of his teeth chattering. he crossed his arms around his body while turning his head to look at their surroundings, unable to stay focused on the task in front of them for longer than a second. “it’s cold, are we almost there?”

“it’s just up ahead. you’ll be fine as long as you don’t make snarky comments in front of the man we’re meeting, earnest,” she sighed, seeing her own breath appear in the cold air as she exhaled. working with earnest was like having a child of her own, which she didn’t say happily. she couldn’t tell if mori actually wanted her to train him or if he just needed a babysitter for the boy.

earnest was sweet, but as a new member who had come all the way from america, it was to be expected. he was reckless and naive, not quite yet understanding how the city of yokohama worked nor was he patient enough to wait to figure it out. he had worked for a criminal organization before, but his affiliation with them had ended with him in prison and then on the other side of the world. so maybe she couldn't be entirely angry at his immaturity; he simply didn't know any better, and perhaps that's why mori had placed him in her care. but that didn't mean she'd take pity on him just because he'd had a rough start—they all had.

they entered the building, shutting the door silently behind them. “they’re on the third floor,” he whispered from behind her.

“just as planned,” she responded, scanning their surroundings before taking another step forward. “nothing else?”

“nothing out of the ordinary so far,” he shook his head, eyes still closed with his palm pressed to the wall of the building. like her's along with many others, his ability had practically been made for criminal activities.

she lifted the silver briefcase in her hand higher, starting to climb up the flights of stairs that would bring them to the meeting spot. she hadn’t bothered to check what was inside (she sincerely hoped she wasn't wrong to trust that earnest had done the bare minimum of double checking the contents of the briefcase before showing up at her door like a puppy who'd just been told he was going for a walk— in which the only real difference in this situation was that he'd heard the word "job" instead of "walk" and it still elicited a reaction all the same) but whatever various objects were inside clinked quietly as they fell to one side of the case.

“this is so stupid,” she heard behind her, “exchanges are so–”

she hushed him, her free hand not holding the briefcase reaching back to where he was following close behind to swat at his face again. sometimes trade jobs were boring, yes, but sometimes they could get heated. his complaints could wait until after they had finished the transfer.

arriving at the third floor, only illuminated by the moonlight spilling through the windows on the side of the building, she waited for earnest to finish making it up the stairs before she turned the corner.

a table waited at the center of this hallway too, the blue shine of the moon outside framing it in a sort of spotlight. she placed the briefcase on the table with the handle and locks facing away from her, stepping back just as a stern-faced man stepped out from behind a wall near the table. his light brown hair reached just past his ears and was slicked back, framing an ordinary face. he was nothing special or crazy intimidating, he was most likely just a simple runner for his organization. what caught her off guard in the next moment was the accent he spoke with, saying something she didn't entirely catch. it was heavy and could barely be considered japanese, leaving her to wonder who'd let this poor man show up to an exchange with the port mafia all by himself when he could barely speak their language. but she couldn't say much with an american of her own standing a few feet away, so instead they nodded to each other and she waited half a beat before turning around. 

earnest continued to stand still, eyes on the man who had taken to opening the briefcase to examine what was inside. she brushed past him, giving him a look that told him to follow before walking back the way they came. 

he trailed behind her a few seconds later and they made their way down the first flight of stairs, not before he gave one last glance down the hallway they’d just came from. she looked back at him with a face of concern. “what’s the matter? you’re suddenly quiet and acting all paranoid. did you see a ghost?” it was a lighthearted tease, but she nonetheless paused at the beginning of the next flight of stairs to hear what he had to say.

“i… just thought i knew him,” earnest answered, no longer sounding bored or whiny.

she quirked a brow, “oh? from where?” she asked, turning back to face the last flight of stairs.

“hold on,” he grabbed her arm, placing his other hand on the wall and closing his eyes as he’d done when they’d first entered the building. “there’s someone waiting down there.” his eyes shot open, “we need to find another way out.”

for whom the bell tolls was an ability that allowed earnest to see the layout of any building he was in and single out the best places for ambushes within them. it was a double-edged sword, used both to his advantage and plotting where to sneak up on someone, and also to predict and detect if perhaps anyone was instead waiting to attack him from those same spots.

in the short time she had worked with earnest, it had proven quite useful. he’d been right every time he’d warned her or described a building, sometimes even predicting things that were more specific than she thought could be produced by his ability.  yet, she couldn’t help but question what he’d said, worried that perhaps his shakeup from the exchange minutes ago was influencing his decisions, “it’s just one person, why?”

he’d tugged her arm down a hallway to their left as if he knew this place like the back of his hand, yet they both knew it was his first time in here. but it was her’s, too, and all she could do was trust his guidance. “they’re planning to destroy the whole building– and everyone in it,” he answered, eyes wide and breathing uneven. his grip on her sleeve remaining tight, “there’s an open window this way, the fall won’t be detrimental, and i saw a manhole on the side of the building. we’ll take it–”

the hair stood up on the back of her neck as she felt a presence behind her. quickly pulling the pistol from a holster on the side of her hip, firing three shots in the direction of the feeling. 

earnest flinched at the sound, brows knit with raised anxiety and panic but her eyes were focused on the figure that stumbled out of the doorway where they’d been just been moments ago. while normally she would have stayed to take care of the assailant, she’d never seen earnest so scared and she could feel the unease, too. something wasn't normal about the situation. she should have noticed from the moment she'd saw the man who she'd left the briefcase with; his lack of speech and fluency gave it away; they had been fooled. whatever was in that briefcase hadn't mattered in the slightest. their true objective seemed to be taking the lives of her and the boy beside her.

she spun back around, this time being the one to grab onto earnest and pull him along as they started to run. the window he'd mentioned before was just ahead, the countless closed doors they passed becoming a blur as they sprinted down the hallway, trying to reach their exit. 

this was a building owned by the mafia– it’s why it had been chosen as the exchange point. how had nothing seemed to have been out of the ordinary if these people were somehow planning to destroy it? how had earnest not noticed anything from the start? the only reasonable explanation she could come up with was that it had to be an ability, and they needed to escape this building before even thinking of fighting back.

“[y/n]–”

“hold on,” she cut him off, hearing a shot from behind her, and the whirl of something pass by her ear, so close it grazed her cheek. she fired several more shots back in retaliation through gritted teeth, “we’re almost there.”

she let go of earnest’s hand to run forward, giving her time to check that nothing was waiting outside the window before she slipped out of it, earnest following quickly behind. she watched the window while earnest shakily stood back up from the fall. a dark figure look out the window down towards them, but they didn’t follow.

a hand tugged at her’s, “i think we should leave. it’s not a good idea to try to fight them,” earnest looked her straight in the eyes. he didn’t seem completely terrified anymore and she trusted his intuition after the trap he'd just saved both of them from.

“let’s go, then.”

earnest had been right to suggest for them to leave. the day after, the news blared with pictures of the building that looked alarmingly like the one they’d been in last night. in fact, it was the one they’d been in not even eight hours ago, and now it had vanished without a trace. there was no debris or ash left over; the building hadn’t been blown up or left behind any evidence of destruction, it'd simply disappeared. all the was left behind was the concrete base the property had been built upon as if the building had never existed in the first place. 

earnest found her in the morning, his skin pale and eyes bloodshot. “it’s the guild,” he stammered, “they’re…they’re here.”

she’d only heard of the american organization briefly, from reports and news articles she’d happen to glimpse by and from the stories earnest had told. it was the same group he’d originally come from, after all. “i believe you,” she spoke calmly, looking him in the eyes. “but why would they come here? what do we have that they can’t get in their own country?” she began to guide him down the hall away from her office. she had a feeling he already knew, but mori would want to hear earnest’s explanation if by some chance their boss hadn’t already predicted every outcome.

“it’s because of me, [y/n]-san. i– they framed me. they want this… book. and i helped them– and then they got me arrested once they were done with me. i–”

“earnest, calm down.” his head shot up at the sound his name coming from her mouth, and something in her clicked when she saw the look on his face. she stopped walking, and he followed suit, “don’t do it. you wouldn’t be able to handle them all on your own.” unlike yesterday, his eyes weren’t wide with fear for his safety nor were they lively and upbeat as they were normally. they were instead filled with anger and vengeance.

“they threw me into jail,” he tried to argue, “they came here knowing i was here, too. they’re here to finish what they started with me [y/n]-san. i won’t let them.”

“you won’t survive,” she shook her head. “if you didn’t want to fight even just one of them yesterday, how do you plan to take them all on? come on, we’re going to see mori-san. you’re not the only one with grudges, earnest. the guild tried to kill us and destroyed one of our buildings. the mafia won't let them get away with something like that. wait for a minute, see what both sides plan to do next, and you can fight when you’re more in control of your emotions.”

the fire that had sparked in his eyes seemed to slowly go out as he looked towards the floor. “you’re right,” he took a step back from her.

she hadn’t thought she was speaking harshly too him; he’d endured much worse than her chastising his recklessness this time around, yet she must have struck a nerve if he’d switched up this quickly. “earnest, please.”

“no…you’re right. I just need to think about this,” he said, refusing to look back at her. he was starting to remind her of someone she’d know years ago who’d been too desperate as well. he'd been too impatient to reach for the stars to wait for the right timing, and she knew how that story had ended. she had ended it. subconsciously, her nails were digging into her palms as her hands clenched into fists. she held herself back from saying anything else, knowing it wouldn't help. what he needed now was time. she needed to be patient, and to keep an eye out for him, to make sure he didn’t slip through her fingers the way he had all that time ago.

“think about it,” she said, voice barely above a whisper, and her eyes shut tight as if just continuing to stand there pained her. and it did, a little bit. “and please…just tell me if you go, okay?”

when she opened her eyes again, he was already gone.

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

i'm so sorry i actually lowk don't like when ocs suddenly appear in x reader works I DO NOT CLAIM EARNEST HEMMINGWAY AS AN OC MAKING HIM A CHARACTER WAS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE BUT NO CANON CHARACTER IN BSD FIT THE ROLE I NEED HIM TO PLAY

never really thought there'd come a day where i was arguing about disowning an earnest hemmingway oc but here i am

don't come at me for anything regarding earnest hemmingway I don't know anything

also i'm so sorry if any lyrical translations are incorrect </3 I am trying my hardest between reddit posts and lyric websites to find correct translations for songs in languages I'm not fluent in but if anyone who knows better than me a better translation do not be afraid to yell at me and let me know :3

thank you for reading!! happy new year <3

taglist: @kameyyy @miiyas @saoirseyun @phoenix-eclipses @writingandmusing @strawberryuri @viovya (form to be added to taglist! <3)

[elveny]

Hm. I don't watch CR, so I can't talk about that but I do know Dragon Age, and I think where your argument concerning that falls apart is the fact that the critique is not about a world state ("Thedas would be better if the Veil fell") but about narrative failure ("the narrative/plot didn't deliver what it hinted at over the course of three and a half games").

At least the critics I read and agreed with don't want a "Step 3. Utopia", not at all. The criticism about the Veil not going down is that it feels like a narrative copt-out, it feels like laziness. We have three and a half games where the narrative hints at (and in Veilguard even openly says) that the Veil was a mistake and is already failing. Majorly. Across the planet. In Veilguard, we learn that it was never intended to be this way, the ritual that created it didn't properly work, and that it is bound to the lifeforce of seven people, five of which are already dead.

Throughout the games before, we learned that spirits and demons are not necessarily what we think they are, we learned that the Veil itself hurts them and can contort them into something they're not. We learn that there are HUGE misconceptions about the nature of magic, spirits, history, religion and that better understanding of all of it can massively improve circumstances and understanding between all kinds of people. EVERYTHING hints at the Veil coming down.

Narratively, it would have been imperative to take these themes, work closely with them and bring them to... if not a close, then to the next level.

Instead, Veilguard either completely ignores them or tells you what to think about them straight away, handwaving any questions aside. Including the Veil. There is no discussion about spirits or magic or about what bringing the Veil down would mean. We are told "you don't want that, we need to stop it", but we don't really know how. We are told by Solas, the one who wants to bring the Veil down, that "he would've taken steps to minimize the chaos and the loss of life" yet we can never ask him what that would've entailed and what the actual chaos might be. We get different accounts of what the world might be if the Veil comes down ("it would be horrible" vs "it would be wonderful") but we can never form our own opinion or ask what this horrible vs wonderful would look like.

Instead of using that immensely interesting theme and exploring what might be, we are told what we have to think. Also, we aren't even solving the problem. The Veil was failing when it was bound to seven people and our solution is to bind it to one person - and then letting that person go into immense danger. If that danger kills Solas (and he is very much killable, we saw that ingame), the Veil is coming down, whether we want it or not, uncontrolled and unchecked. That fact is not talked about, not recognized, not acknowledged in any way.

It is very, very clear that the DA team wanted to put a checkmark behind "the Veil problem" by making us keep it and sending the person it's tied to into "the Fade" and will not talk about the problem again. That's why they told us what to think about it and how it's solved, no options. From a narrative POV, that is a very lazy choice - especially for a game series that used to capitalize on personalized game choices and world states. And it's not only about the Veil, even though that is a huge symptom (and the most visible) - it's about everything else too. All the problems and misconceptions, all the injustices in the world state etc., are ignored and kept in the Status Quo.

The Veil not coming down, or at least it coming down even being an OPTION, is a narrative failure. And being angry, disappointed and sad about that narrative failure has nothing to do with wanting a utopia in Thedas or having a power fantasy. In fact, even if we look at it from the POV of your post - the Veil not coming down is symptomatic of not working towards change.

Injustice and oppression were major themes in all DA games (expect Veilguard. Even DAI had these themes, though already diminished to DAO and DA2), but Veilguard made sure to not touch upon them, even retconned them into never having happened, and make sure to tell us that "no, no, we don't want to work on change, everything is exactly as it should be, don't question anything." Which is exactly what a lot of the DA players that have issues with Veilguard (and indicative with the Veil not coming down) don't want.

Thoughts on how the Dragon Age and Critical Role Fandoms both have members using "destroying the status quo" as a main argument that characters should initiate a cataclysm (i.e. releasing Predathos/bringing down the Veil)?

It's the power fantasy of believing that you, often a lone individual, can fix things with one dramatic action without having to engage in the difficult and unglamorous toil of continuous and sustained work improving conditions at a daily and material level.

It's the power fantasy of thinking that you can fix (repair) something without having to acknowledge that things are never fixed (stable) because it is dodging that a single dramatic action cannot on its own accomplish anything without a relationship to the conditions as they are in a real sense, an understanding of what creates and upholds those conditions, and continuous and often boring or unpleasant or smaller work to sustain movement toward improvement.

It's a memetic flattening to simplify engaging in the concepts of hegemony and systemic oppression. Oppression existing and being upheld by our prevailing cultural attitudes and systems of governance is indeed our status quo in, since this is where I live, the United States. The concept of "status quo" in itself, however, is simply a term for what the current state of affairs is, so I find the idea of destroying status quo as an always inherently progressive act without reference to what that status quo IS or to what we are changing suspect at best. I know what these fans MEAN to point to, yes, so I'm being a little deliberately obtuse in that prior sentence; however, I find that many of these fans do not themselves know what they are referring to when they invoke the status quo, hence why am I being so. Many of them do believe that the destruction of the status quo — regardless of what that status quo is — is indeed itself a noble endeavor. This line of thinking is pursuit of an ideal isolated from any meaningful connection to conditions of the narrative world or its relationship to how it affects those conditions and is simply pursuing itself for itself.

Often, I also find that even those who can correctly point to what the state of affairs is, they often struggle to meaningfully or coherently lay out what this cataclysm's relationship to that state of affairs is (often the case with Dragon Age) or how this cataclysm will resolve or change that state of affairs for the better (often the case with CritRole). Generally, there's a sense that this cataclysm will free everyone to pursue improved conditions, but — even if this cataclysm action would remove a barrier, and that's often a dubious if at best — there no sense of what the next step is or how this will be accomplished meaningfully and materially. It's always very "Step 1. Cataclysm / Step 2. ???? / Step 3. Utopia" without any sense of how to build or maintain that improvement, at which point we're back at my prior points about power fantasy.

My thoughts essentially boil down to power fantasy and pursuit of a memetic ideal for the sake of itself.