#I really don't want to have to write this myself

[bedupolker]

How are you so good at art and comics and characters but it's not even a professional profession of yours? (can it be that hobbies and skills don't necessarily need to be monitized?)

Thank you! I still feel like I have a lot to learn, haha. I did study animation in college but that's not really my calling, I can't spend 40 (or more!!!) hours a week in front of a computer. As I get older I don't regret it. I'm a little guilty of overworking in certain contexts, but I'm not sacrificing my health or social life for a tiny shot at storyboarding for The Minions 6. (And if I did dedicate myself to that, I almost definitely wouldn't be spending my free time drawing.)

I remember I had some kind of portfolio development class and the professor made a comment telling us to like, stop going to parties and playing video games and just to dedicate ourselves to our art. Maybe that kind of advice to just lock in is helpful for a certain kind of person, but if you're an artist/writer, especially someone who might be young, if you're able, maybe also consider:

Engage with eclectic interests outside of the type of art you want to make. If you want to make an action-adventure comic and your only source of inspiration is Fullmetal Alchemist and Spiderverse, yes those are very good stories and it's understandable they could be a source of inspiration to you, but honestly, most people would probably just go and read/watch Fullmetal Alchemist or Spiderverse. Now if someone wanted to make an action-adventure comic and they had a weird amount of knowledge about technical canyoneering or Korean horror movies or vintage cars or emo-rap music or cubist art or endangered birds endemic to new zealand, now I kind of want to see what that's all about.

Researching the sources of inspiration of art you love is a good jumping off point too. A lot of great stories are more grounded than you'd think, and going out and looking for new things that interest you keeps it from feeling too "incestuous" for lack of a better term.

Try and connect with different kinds of people you wouldn't meet otherwise. Most people are nicer than you think, most people like talking about themselves, and everyone you'll ever meet knows something you don't.

Frankly between social media and living through the covid years, I just think it'd be good for a lot of peoples' mental health to realize there's a world outside of whatever hyperspecific fandom or internet mirocosm or whatever you find yourself falling into.

Try to have a new experience every week. You don't have to blow tons of money and free time to throw into climbing Everest or partying in Barcelona or whatever, just walk home a different way, try volunteering for an organization that you care about, listen to a weird genre of music, hop onto youtube and try some yoga or calisthenics or something. You don't even have to like it, just give it a shot.

Find beauty in the mundane... birds, bugs, alleyways, the light fixture section at Home Depot, it's all there.

Done is better than Perfect

Maybe it's easy for me to say as an artist who has a pretty decent sized following but FR FR don't do just things because you think they'll get popular online!!!!! You don't have to broadcast every single thing that you do. Some art/writing is just for experimentation or self indulgence, that's all good too.

[ao3commentoftheday]

do you think my readers will notice that im not as passionate about my story anymore? i used to be so consumed by it and my chapters were always long and detailed. but now i am tired and the chapters are shorter and im not as excited, just trying to get it done. i assume people would prefer a finished fic over an abandoned one, even if the finished fic is a little rushed at the end. do you think thats the case?

I love a completed fic, don't get me wrong, but I'd rather have an abandoned fic and know that the author was doing what they wanted to do instead of having a completed fic that the author hated writing the end of.

I'm a big fan of not finishing things, in general. It might be weird to say, but not finishing things is actually a skill I've practiced and tried to build up.

I'm still working on it, but I try to check in with myself when I'm doing something in my free time and just sort of make sure that I'm doing it because *I* want to do it, not because I think other people expect me to do it.

That's why I said no when people asked me about making a dark mode of the medieval site skin. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it, and I know it would take me several hours to do, and I didn't want to take on that work because I knew it would end with me feeling resentful of the askers. No matter how many thanks I got in return, it wouldn't be enough for the annoyance of doing the thing in the first place.

Did I feel like kind of a bitch? Yes. Did they think that too? Quite possibly. But there are only so many hours in a day and I only have so much of myself to give, and I'd rather answer tumblr asks now that I've got the ask box open again.

If you don't want to finish this story, you really don't have to. It's your story. If you want to abandon it entirely, that's your choice to make. If you want to post one last chapter with a bullet point summary of the plot beats you were planning to hit, that's your choice. If you want to orphan it or delete it or put it on hiatus, those are all your choice as well.

I just encourage you to think less about what other people want and more about what you want. Writing fic is play, not work. If it feels like work then you can just... stop.

I didn't actually answer your question here, so I'll invite other people to give their thoughts. Whatever the outcome of that is, though, take care of yourself 💗

[pianoconspiracy]

As someone who regularly does both, I don't actually think either is more difficult I think they are just difficult in different ways.

I think drawing can be genuinely more difficult to practice, partially because to draw I need a specific place to draw. I need materials; sometimes its my tablet pen, a mouse, a pencil, paper, paint or whatever I happen to be making art with. Whereas I can write on my phone while standing on the bus if I really want to. Is it ideal? Nah, but I can do it. Although I think it's a lot easier to start a drawing. Even when I have really bad art block or I have no idea what to draw, it's easy to just sit and doodle boxes or do art exercises like drawing lines or circles. Meanwhile when I sit to write I can often struggle to even think of where to start. If I want to just write something silly to practice, I still need an idea, or characters, or a scenario. Personally I find dealing with writers block a lot easier. Whenever I have writers block I can usually brute force my way through it by just writing something, sometimes something stupid even like making a bullet list of 'this happens, this happens, and then this happens' and cleaning it up later. Whereas if I am having issues working on a particular art piece, anything I try to force myself to draw I will absolutely hate later because it isn't as good, and I am usually forced to take a break from the piece entirely until I get inspiration again.

I also think Art is a lot easier to share then writing. Even if all I draw is a messy sketch, I can still post it. Meanwhile I can't really cut out a piece of writing and post it without context. Most of my writing is long form content, I don't do a lot of poetry writing or short stories, so its difficult to just post a bit of writing I am proud of without the context of the characters or the scenery.

So yeah, I really can't think of which is more difficult, they are just difficult in different ways.

Take two cuz im forgetful - Genuine question

please rb im so curious

[hymen-restoration-project]

To The Bitter End(?)

Well, I've officially dropped character on this blog now that Dashcon 2 is over. This was a long time coming. Thanks to everyone who came up and got photos with me! I had so much fun and everyone I talked to was lovely!

I don't know what to do with this blog now. The current story arc is fucking depressing and I keep throwing things at my poor pathetic wet cat of a character instead of ever lightening the mood. We're so far out of the scope of what I was doing back in November we're basically telling a different story. A lot of people have expressed disappointment with it. I myself have had some really bad mental health spirals lately and kinda channeled a lot of it into the posts. Sorry if that was obvious. It turns out you can't be normal to write something like this.

Anyway, I guess I should put it up to a vote? See what people think? I want to keep writing stories, obviously, that's a given. I just don't know what people want to see.

No matter what I end up doing I hope what I've done so far has been worth it, and I hope it was entertaining.

[kit-kat-katie]

the art of mixology (& making out)

a/n: oh i'm SO freaked out over these two, please sedate me before I return to my docs and write another fic to indulge myself (also ty for almost 1k notes on my first fic for them!!! that's so crazy that so many people are as whipped for the breaker box boys as I am <33)

pairing: eddie x volt x gender-neutral! reader (romantic)

tw: heavy sexual themes but without the smut, light mention of ropes and bondage, some implied consent, a bit of voyeurism, this is my first time writing something with hints of smut plz be gentle!

summary: When you arrive at the breaker box, Volt gives you a special mission: help Eddie relax for the night. You then discover that Eddie was told by Volt to help you relax. You both decide to mess with Volt in return. - 4.7k words! [ao3 link!]

“Live wire!”

You've grown accustomed to Volt's warm presence in the Breaker Box, especially when he comes up to greet you. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” His hand is extended out to you, and you gladly take it.

You don't deny him the pleasure of his customary greeting - a gentle kiss placed on the back of your hand - or of seeing its effect on you as your face warms at the gesture.

“I wanted to stop by and see you and Eddie…” You trail off while attempting to hide the real reason behind your visit.

Sure, you did want to see Eddie and Volt, but you mostly wanted to help out around the bar so they could have a bit of time to themselves. Your lovers always worked so hard to maintain the house and the bar, and they deserved a bit of time to rest and recharge.

But Volt, ever-the-perceptive Volt, sees right through your bullshit.

“And?” His voice softens, awaiting your answer.

Fuck it.

“...and I wanted to see if either of you needed any help tonight.”

Volt laughs as he pulls you close to him, and his free hand finds the small of your back. Your internal temperature kicks up a few degrees as his magnetic pull draws you in closer. He really does have a way of flustering you with only innocent gestures and touches.

“Well, if you insist on working, then I have quite the job in mind for you.” Volt's tender gaze leaves you for a moment as he looks towards the bar.

You follow his eyes as they fall on Eddie, who dutifully cleans behind the bar. He's completely, blissfully unaware of the way you and Volt are looking at him.

“As persuasive as I am,” He pauses to lean in towards you, his hot breath just barely kissing your lips, “I can't seem to make Eddie relax tonight.”

His insinuation doesn't fly over your head, but you find it hard to focus when he's this close to you and refusing to capture your lips with his.

Focus on what he's telling you now, then you can kiss him all you want later.

While dizzy from Volt's close proximity, you giggle softly as your gaze wanders toward Eddie again.

“And you think I can do it?”

“I think you underestimate your own charms and persuasions, my spark.” Volt pulls you in for a breathtaking kiss as your hands desperately reach out for any part of him you could touch.

He won't allow anything further than a single kiss as he pulls away from you, but Volt is pleased by your enthusiasm and want.

“There's plenty of time for that later, live wire.” The allure and temptation in his voice makes your body run even hotter than it was before. 

“How am I supposed to make him relax?” You breathily ask.

Volt's expression changes from loving to mischievous as his hand runs up and down your spine.

“Get creative.”

Your thoughts run amuck, ranging from sweet to seductive, as Volt offers you a parting kiss on the cheek before disappearing into the growing crowd.

Part of you wants to go and chase after him, to beg for more affection, but you know he'll be unhappy if you don't at least attempt to do as he says.

“Good little spark.”

His voice echoes in your head, and desire for him courses through your veins as you make your way towards the bar area.

Although you're sure that you won't fully be able to shake off Volt's electrifying influence over you, you do hope that you'll be able to cool off a bit before you find Eddie.

By the time you reach Eddie, he's managed to finish cleaning the bartending area around him. The only thing remaining is a small shot glass on the bar top, and it's filled with some sort of whiskey that Eddie poured for himself.

An idea forms in your head as you take a seat at the bar once Eddie turns away from the seating area.

You didn't really like shooting whiskey straight, as it tasted and smelled like the liquid form of a permanent marker, but you couldn't help yourself from taking the shot when Eddie turns back around to face you.

“What the fuck are you-”

He pauses when you finish downing the shot, and the familiar burn in your mouth and throat creeps in as you do your best to not make a disgusted face.

You shudder as the liquid travels into your stomach, and you gently exhale as the scent of whiskey covers your breath.

“I should kick you out for drinking the owner's booze.” Eddie says with a small laugh at the end of his sentence. 

“Don't worry, I don't plan on drinking any more of that.” You do your best not to gag as you push the glass away from you.

“I can tell.” There's the briefest smile of amusement on his face before he grabs the glass and pours some sort of red liquid into it. “Drink this. It'll help with the burn.”

You don't hesitate to grab the glass from Eddie when he offers it to you, and you sigh in relief when the taste of artificial cherry hits your tongue. It cools down your throat while also mixing well with the whiskey in your mouth.

You mutter a small ‘thank you’ before passing the glass back to him.

“Can I make you a drink, or are you going to steal mine all night?” Eddie sounds tired and annoyed, but the faintest trace of a smile on his lips tells you otherwise.

“I wasn't trying to steal your drink-” You attempt to defend yourself, but he won't let you get another word in.

“-really? What were you trying to do?”

He leans in closer, setting the glass down and resting both of his hands on the bar table. 

A smug smile lands on your face as you rest your arms on the table and allow yourself to close the distance between the two of you.

“I was only trying to enhance the flavor for you, Eddie.”

And then you press your lips against his in a brief and, for now, innocent-enough kiss. He tastes like a strong whiskey sour, just as always, but you're more curious about what you taste like to him. Cherry? Whiskey? A bit of both, maybe?

You can't help but laugh as you take in the sight in front of you. Eddie's flustered, as he always is when you're affectionate with him, but there's a want and desire in his eyes that wasn't there before.

Somehow, he always had a way of looking at you like you were the only two people in the room.

Your laughter quickly dies in your throat when he recaptures your lips in a romantic, affectionate kiss.

It's enough to make your head spin as you reach out for him, to grab his clothes, arms, face, hair, or whatever part of him you can grasp first.

“Live wire-” Eddie breaks away from you to rest his head against yours. “Not here.”

His voice is so desperate for you that you want to kiss him again and again, but you know he's right - it'd be very inappropriate for the two of you to start anything here.

“Where?” You breathily say.

You're so intoxicated by one single gesture that anything - no, anywhere - sounds good to you.

“There's a few bottles in the back that I'd like to try.” A heavy blush rests on Eddie's face as he looks away from you for a moment. 

Oh, he really liked what you did to him.

“I'd love to try them.” A love-sick grin rests on your face as you pull yourself away from him. “Lead the way?”

You don't remember when or how Eddie ended up next to you, but he gently takes your hand in his own, and he leads you through the crowd towards one of the backrooms in the Breaker Box. You remember your way around most of the bar, but this path is unfamiliar to you.

You find yourself in front of a door you don't remember, as Eddie nervously fiddles with the key for a moment before unlocking the door and pulling you inside.

You're plunged into darkness when the door closes behind you, but you're not there for long as the lights come on above you.

You're starstruck by the large amount of bottles that line every shelf and table in the room. From what you could see, you'd be able to find a drink for anyone, no matter how refined or specific their pallet might be.

The gentle click! of the door lock behind you pulls you back into the moment - you're really in for it now, as the only other person with a key is Volt.

Volt.

Shit.

You're not quite sure if what you're doing right now is technically relaxing, but Eddie has an air of ease about him as he gently guides you through the shelves upon shelves of bottles.

Drinking can be a form of relaxation, right? …Even if he's not technically drinking himself?

You push the thought to the back of your mind as you find yourself towards the back of the storage room.

A small desk sits in front of you, and it's one of the few spaces in the room that isn't covered in liquor bottles. Two chairs are sat next to each other - one for Volt, one for Eddie - and a small notebook lays open on the desk.

Upon closer inspection, you can see Volt and Eddie's handwriting in the notebook, detailing certain liquor/flavor combinations that go well together.

Ah, so this is where they experiment with different drinks and such.

You choose not to pry; instead, you take a seat as Eddie grabs a few bottles from a nearby shelf. You eagerly watch as he sets three of them down on the desk next to you. 

Your stomach drops when you recognize the liquid in the first bottle - you have nothing against vodka, but one-too-many nights out with friends and a morning date with your toilet have made you weary of trying it again.

The second bottle appears to be a dark rum, given that you recognize the pirate on the label of the bottle. You're not sure if you'd recognize the flavor right away, but you'd be willing to try it again.

The third bottle has a more golden hue to it, and you can't quite tell what it is until you reach for it.

Tequila.

A small smile spreads across your face as you inspect the bottle. You have fond memories of taking shots of tequila with Sam when either of you weren't too busy with work. There's a flicker of a happy memory with an old flame where you tried a couple of tequila-based drinks with them.

Besides, who didn't like drinking margaritas?

Bottoms up, then. 

You go to unscrew the cap, but Eddie grabs the bottle out of your hand.

“What are you-”

You pause when he grabs a pour spout from a desk drawer and replaces the lid on the bottle with the spout.

It's at this moment that you realize that there isn't a single shot glass around the two of you.

Clearly confused, you don't understand how this little experiment of yours will continue on until Eddie's hand gently grabs your chin.

…Oh.

Heat creeps up your neck and rests on your face as he looks into your eyes.

“You're okay with this?” He gently asks, moving a stray piece of hair out of your face while looking you dead in the eyes.

You're already breathless and tongue-tied, despite the lack of any sort of physical intimacy.

“Yeah.” 

You manage to let him know that you are very okay with this before you open your mouth in compliance.

You're surprised at how smooth the tequila goes down your throat - probably because you haven't gone out drinking in a long time - but it leaves behind a mixture of citrus and spices in your mouth.

You don't have any time to think or respond before the taste of blackberry hits your palette. You've never had a blackberry margarita before, but you're sure it would taste something like the mixture of flavors in your mouth.

You breathe out, enjoying the way that everything mixes on your breath.

Eddie really knows how to make a damn good cocktail.

You allow him to set the bottle down before standing up and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Want a taste?” 

He answers your teasing with a kiss that's full of passion and want. His hands easily rest on the side of your abdomen as he takes his time fully exploring the flavor profile on your lips.

You have to catch your breath when Eddie breaks away from you, but you make sure to keep your head close to his.

“Taste good?” You ask.

You take a moment to savor this closeness, the feeling of his breath on your check and his hands on you, as you await an answer.

“Yes.” 

His eyes flicker down to your lips for a brief moment before he looks at you.

You laugh as you're happy with your effect on him.

“Something else, then?”

You let one of your hands rest on his shoulder as the other reaches out for one of the forgotten bottles on the table.

Eddie's hand catches your wrist before you can place your fingers on another bottle.

“You,” his breath is haggard and his voice is shallow, desperate, and needy, “I just want to taste you.”

The energy in the room immediately shifts, and a different sort of heat takes over your body.

He's going to make you short-circuit at this rate.

You don't hesitate to pounce on him.

You push and pull your lips from his in an unsynchronized fashion that would drive anyone wild as your hands move from his shoulders to his chest, where you grab onto his jacket for dear life.

Whatever space is in-between the two of you, it's simply too much to bear. You need him as close to you as humanly (objectly?) possible.

Eddie's all-in, matching you perfectly in intensity as you pull and grab at whatever parts of clothing and limbs you can touch. 

You must look like an absolute wreck by the time you pull yourself away from him for a gasp of air, and you only make that assumption based on how disheveled he looks. 

When you finally look Eddie in the eyes, you're expecting some romantic intimacy or pure, sweet, loving moment; however, you both start snickering once you've fully absorbed the state of one another.

“You look like a disaster.” Eddie throws a playful jab your way before you scoff in response.

“You look worse than me!”

“I always look worse than you, live wire. That's not much of an accomplishment.” 

“Shut up.” You gently push him away from you before eyeing the bottles on the desk. 

You desperately miss Eddie's touch as you break apart from him to set the bottles on a nearby shelf.

Don't want to make any more work for us.

His hands reach out for you, and you happily wrap yourself in his arms before planting a small kiss on his face.

“You're not sick of me yet?”

“Sick of you?” You're almost offended by his question, and you would be if you knew he wasn't teasing you, “Eddie, I can hardly get enough of you.”

His face was flushed from your previous encounter, but your words make a strong blush appear on his face.

You don't let him make another comment; instead, you place soft kisses along his jawline in an effort to show your love, your want for him.

“Live wire-” His voice is strangled, but he makes no attempt to stop you as your trail of kisses lead back to his lips.

“Let me take care of you, Eddie.” You mumble in-between kisses before making a quick maneuver to pin him against the desk. Your outstretched arms serve to box him in as you kiss him again and again.

You don’t know how long the two of you stay like this, but the comfortable rhythm that you’ve set is interrupted when Eddie pulls away from you.

“What are you-”

The question dies in your throat when you find that you’re the one pinned to the desk instead of him.

“Eddie-” 

Your protests fall on deaf ears when he gently kisses your cheek before muttering in your ear.

“Let me take care of you.”

Touché, asshole.

After the intensity of your previous affections, you’re surprised when Eddie places soft, sweet kisses on you that follow a trail from your lips to your neck. He continues to pay extremely close attention to your neck until he finds the one spot that makes you curl further into him.

“There?” He mutters, to no one in particular, before placing another soft kiss in that spot.

This time, you let out a soft whine, which causes him to laugh.

“Cute.”

“Don’t tease.” You shyly look away for a moment, but your attention is quickly brought back to him once he resumes his attack on your neck.

You have to bite your lip hard in order to stop the sounds that threaten to escape your mouth, especially when Eddie chooses to leave a few hickeys on your neck. You’d be terrified, absolutely mortified, if anyone were to see you in such a state. But you don’t seem to mind when Eddie seems far too eager to reroute your train of thought back to him.

Although you don’t mind the extra attention from him, you were supposed to help him relax first. You can find all of the pleasure you need afterwards - you’re positive of it.

You pull Eddie in for a tender kiss as your hands land on his chest, and you use this moment of vulnerability to flip your positions once again so he’s pinned against the desk instead of you.

“Eddie, please,” You begin before he can say otherwise, “just relax.”

There’s more you want to say to him, to tell him every sweet little thought that’s racing through your mind. He should relax because he’s definitely fucking earned it, and he has two people who are more than willing to help him relax in any way possible.

You’re nervous about his reaction, but there’s nothing for you to fear when one of his hands finds yours.

“You first.” Eddie’s voice is soft, with a twinge of concern interlaced in his words. “Volt told me that you haven’t been taking care of yourself.”

“I-” You pause to consider his words.

He wasn’t wrong - you had been running around your house like a crazy person over the last few days, trying to solve every problem that the objects in your house had. You didn’t really mind giving so much of yourself to them. It felt nice to be wanted for once.

Wait, did he say that Volt told him-

“Volt told you to help me relax?” You hesitate for a moment until Eddie nods. “Volt told me to help you relax because you seemed unable to.”

“Volt.” He grumbles, and you can’t help but laugh as you pull away from him for a moment.

“He knows us far too well, that we’d be so caught up in helping each other that neither of us would consider why we were, ah-” Your eyes widen as heat rushes to your face. “Was Volt planning on watching us?”

Eddie doesn’t say anything - he simply runs his free hand through his hair as your mind races.

Well, if Volt wanted a show, then a show he’ll get.

“I’m sorry that he-”

You cut off Eddie’s apology with a small kiss on the lips.

“Don’t. I have an idea.”

“Which is?”

“Follow my lead.”

~

The taste of rum coats your tongue before you press your lips to Eddie’s cheek. He quickly returns the gesture, and you smile warmly at him. You have to pace yourself so you’re not wasted by the time Volt finds you and Eddie. Luckily, you have plenty to distract yourself with in the meantime.

Just as you had discussed, neither you or Eddie acknowledge the footsteps that you hear. You, instead, focus on nothing except placing kisses all over Eddie until you hear a familiar laugh.

“Having fun, are we?”

Your eyes dart to the side for a moment, just to briefly acknowledge Volt’s presence, before pulling Eddie in even closer. He takes the hint and presses small kisses to your lips until Volt wraps two arms around your stomach and pulls you away from him.

“Ignoring me won't end well for you, live wire.” Volt offers you a stiff warning, but there's a bit of curiosity in his gaze as he takes in the sight before him.

“I was just trying to help Eddie relax, just like you said.” You softly admit before playing with a strand of Volt’s hair.

Volt pauses for a moment before laughing to himself.

“You both look very relaxed. Especially you, Eddie.”

“Volt-”

“Eddie-”

“Enough.” Your voice causes both of them to stop talking. “You got what you wanted, Volt, didn’t you?”

You pull away from Volt, ever-so-slightly, so you can analyze his expression. You’re pleasantly surprised when he seems a bit flustered by your question.

You giggle to yourself before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“But that’s not all you wanted, is it, Volt? You were hoping for a bit of a show, right?”

Volt is always so confident, especially when it comes to you and Eddie. You’re normally used to him looking at you as a tiger looks at his prey, but the pure vulnerability in his eyes nearly makes you change your mind.

Nearly.

“My spark, please allow me to-” Volt nearly chokes on his words when you force him into a nearby chair.

“I’ll give you a show, Volt, as long as you behave.” You offer him an ultimatum as you show him a bundle of rope that just happened to be laying around.

“There’s no need, darling,” He purrs as his hands rest on his knees, “I’ll behave.”

“Good.” You look over to Eddie, who hesitates for a moment before handing you a bottle of liquor. “Do you want to help?”

Eddie thinks to himself for a moment before a light blush appears on his face.

“I'd rather watch.”

He steps aside as you grab the pour spout and attach it to the bottle in your hand.

You raise the bottle to your lips, and you take a healthy swig. Drops of liquor run down your chin, but for now, you pay them no mind.

The atmosphere is hot and tense as you slowly approach Volt. The bottle leaves your hand and sits on the table as you plan your next move.

Volt watches you with barely-contained hunger - he would've devoured you by now if he wasn't so damn curious about what you two were doing in here.

You gently straddle Volt as your hands come to rest on his shoulders. Instinctively, one of his hands comes to rest on your side.

“Hands off.” You offer a singular warning, which earns you a groan from him.

“But you look so divine, my light-”

“Volt.” Your voice would be downright scary in any other context, but you need to show Volt who's really in-charge here. 

“Eddie-” His eyes are pleading as he looks over to Eddie, who simply scoffs.

“Don't look at me.”

Volt's desperate gaze shifts over to you, and his head drops for a moment as his hand returns to his side.

Your hand finds his chin as you force him to look you in the eyes. 

“Do you want to know what Eddie and I were doing in here before you walked in?”

He can barely hold your gaze as he answers. 

“Yes.”

You're intoxicated by the power you hold over him. It's no wonder why he enjoys teasing you and Eddie so much.

“We were trying out some new liquor for the bar…” You pause, pretending to think for yourself for a moment, “would you like to try some?”

“Please, live wire, whatever you need-” Volt stops talking when you lean in close enough to kiss him.

You could end this right here by simply giving Volt what he wants. But that wouldn't be any fun, especially when he lied to you and Eddie.

You smile mischievously before gently blowing a bit of air onto Volt's lips.

“Not yet,” You pull away from him to shift your weight into a more comfortable position, which causes Volt to moan, “Eddie?”

One hand leaves Volt's shoulder to beckon Eddie forward while your other hand grabs a spare drop of liquor that threatens to run off your face. You offer that small drop to Volt, who quickly licks it off of your finger.

You guide Eddie to the other side of Volt before placing both of your hands on Volt's chest.

“You're doing good, Volt, just a little longer.” You gently praise him before expectantly looking at Eddie.

Eddie's hands lay on Volt's shoulders as you lean up to kiss Eddie. He pulls you in closer to him, which pushes you further into Volt.

You're only interrupted by a small whine from Volt, which causes you to smile as you break apart from Eddie.

“Yes, Volt?”

You want an answer from him - any answer will do, especially if it's him begging you to touch or kiss him.

But that answer never comes. He can't seem to formulate the words as his hands fidget at his side.

“Tongue-tied?” You bite your lip to hold back a laugh. “I never expected that from you, of all people.”

“Volt?” Eddie squeezes Volt's shoulders. “You alright?”

“I'm fine.” His voice lacks the normal composure and confidence it usually contains.

You've really and truly flustered the man in front of you. The heavy blush on his face as he can't look you or Eddie in the eye is a tell-tale sign.

“Volt, next time you're worried about either of us, just tell us.” You murmur before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “And if you want us to make out in front of you, say something.”

A small blush forms on Eddie's cheeks as Volt's arms wrap around your waist.

A warm smile spreads across his face. He might’ve been flustered for a moment, but no he's back to his usual self.

“I quite like this side of you, live wire. Demanding, cold, teasing… don't you agree?” Volt stares at Eddie, who grumbles in agreement.

Heat rushes to your face as you attempt to get off of Volt, but his arms keep you tethered in place.

“Not so fast, little wire. Don't you think I get a reward for being so well-behaved?”

“You call that well-behaved?” Eddie rolls his eyes before looking at you. “It's up to you.”

“Fine,” You nod at Volt, “you can pick which one of us-”

You don't even get to finish your statement before Volt smashes his lips against your own. 

The usual control and restraint in his affection is completely gone. You've managed to trap yourself in a flurry of affection that starts with hot, wet kisses that go from your lips to any available part of your skin that he can touch.

“You're irresistible, my spark,” Volt says in-between kisses, “especially when you deny me the pleasure of touching you.”

Volt only relents once he's satisfied with the amount of marks and kisses he's left all over you. His attention turns to Eddie as he pulls the other man into a heated kiss.

You're more than content to watch them, especially when Volt occasionally squeezes your waist, but they break apart from each other before you can truly take them in.

Volt looks from Eddie, to you, then back to Eddie as a wicked smile spreads across his face.

A familiar glint settles in his eyes, one that always sets every vein in your body on fire.

“Why don't I help you both relax?”

[olderthannetfic]

man as a person who really doesn't pay much attention to the Identities of the writers of what I'm reading in romance novels, erotica, or fanfic, the "why are women writing all the m/m romance" wank is so baffling to me, like. Idk I can only tell what I as a transmasc queer person enjoy and what resonates and speaks to me. I like men and fiction about men! Paying so much attention to author identity instead of if their work is good or not and if they're kind to others feels so icky to me. I can't imagine going into my fic and romance enjoyer community and thinking constantly about which of my friends are "cishet women" who are trying to take something from me. the whole wank also makes me nervous about someday getting hate myself for something nasty like not being a proper/real gay man enjoying and making m/m erotica even though the idea is nonsense lol. it's been said 1000 times but i wonder if the discoursers know that they're just going around basically accusing random queer people of being straight women or if it's conscious exclusion or a combination of both

--

It is absolutely about seeing cis gay men as the gold standard and wanting to be the one best friend allowed an honorary seat at the table.

Dumbasses want the art they already like to have social connotations it does not. They could change what they're into and go hang out with Tom of Finland enthusiasts, but they don't want to do that.

It's the domain of people with inferior writing skills and no marketing ability who are jealous of better selling authors. It's also the domain of people deeply insecure about their identities.

[bubblegumrabbitwriting]

Blink Dev Update

Hello!

So where have I been for the past 2 weeks? Honestly, after releasing the last update, the one-week break I took from writing Blink became 2 weeks, became 3 weeks, and so on. It wasn't really a planned thing, but the more that I came back to my writing file, the more I struggled to actually get anything written down.

It literally became me writing a sentence a day and then spending the rest of the week just rewriting the same sentence over and over again. I had the whole of last week off of work, where the plan was to just write a rough draft and get the majority of the next update at least written as roughly as I could. So instead of feeling like I wasn't making any progress, I at least had something to work on if I couldn't think of anything new.

The problem was that I sat down to write and decided to reread the last update so I had a good idea of where I needed to continue from, and I wasn't happy with anything in the last update or pretty much most of chapter 1. That then just spiralled into me spending the week analysing the chapter line by line trying to figure out what wasn't gelling.

And all in all, I haven't come to a conclusion. The last update felt rushed in parts that should have been longer and more impactful and too long in parts that should have just been set up. But as I keep having to remind myself, chapter 1 is just supposed to be a setup chapter to introduce the reader to the MC as a character and their key goal and an introduction to the world before the main plot of the story is introduced.

I haven't really figured out if there is really any way to fix that other than doing a full rewrite, which I'm trying to avoid, as I know it will absolutely kill any enthusiasm I have for writing the story. It would feel like a step back from trying to move the story forwards, and I don't think it would ultimately make that much of a difference in the overall pacing or quality of the game.

So with that in mind, I have started to write the next update. I'm going to write it with the above in mind and hopefully make the overall next update better. I want to at least get all of Chapters 1 and 2 done before I even look at doing anything like a rewrite.

To make a long rant short, work on the next update is continuing at a somewhat rocky but steady pace.

I also wanted to say a thank you to anyone sending in asks over the last couple of weeks. Even when I haven't been answering any, the inbox is quite full at the moment, and I'm going to start working through the asks from the oldest to the newest. So those should start being posted in the next couple of days. I'm also planning on doing dev updates again in between the updates; no real schedule for these, but they will probably be biweekly.

Thanks again as always. 💖

[cressidagrey]

C's thoughts: Silverstone 2024

Okay, so I want to preface this by saying that I have no skin in this game, because I don’t really consider myself a “fan” of any driver but more the sport itself? 

Like there are drivers I like more than others, which I feel like everybody has, but I usually consider myself pretty level-headed and able to realise that everything you see from a driver is the image their PR Firm dreamt up.

Also, I am not passionate enough to hate on any drivers, because I have a real life with real issues and like… I just don’t have the energy for it. I also don’t think I care enough?  I wish them all to live their nice little millionaire lifestyles and be happy. 

So this is just me prattling on because I have been thinking about this for the last 24 hours and I still am not really sure I can put my thoughts into proper words, so this is just me venting.)

What in the world was going on at Silverstone 2025?

(I should probably mention that I have like no competitive spirit at all.  Also I haven’t tagged this anything, because this is just me writing down my thoughts but like… warning for McLaren Bashing I guess? Anti Oscar? Anti Lando? Anti everybody?) 

(Also you have a different opinion that me? TOTALLY VALID. Don’t sent me hate over it, please.)

So I am gonna start with this:  

Oscar's radio message where he wants the team to give team orders to get Lando to give him the position back is giving me the ick. 

If the roles were reversed and Lando would have been the one to do it, I think Lando would have gotten absolutely skewered for it online. (Which imo, rightly so)

I haven’t been a decade long fan, but   I can't think of another situation where another driver asked for something similar. 

 Oscar breaking behind the safety car that got him the 10 second penalty which yes, was, in my opinion, harsh and I don't think it was fair but he was the one braking “erratically” and there were literally no mitigating circumstances. 

So for me, him asking that, left that bad taste in my mouth of Oscar wanting McLaren to prioritise him, while he’s literally in the lead of the driver championship with “only” 15 points. We are halfway through the season, Lando has every chance to still win the WDC as well.  

(Also,  the WDC will be with 99% certainty be decided between Oscar and Lando. Nobody else is even in the conversation anymore. Unless RedBull suddenly becomes a rocket ship overnight and somehow also somehow make the McLaren become undriveable, it will go to one McLaren driver. And they have the constructors in the bag as well. ) 

Anyway, it gave me spoiled only child and I say that as a spoiled only child. 

And then that podium… Like can both McLaren driver be an adult for 5 minutes?

Max and George, two drivers that literally have more than one reason to have beef with each other, managed to put their differences aside for ten minutes to drench Kimi in Champagne in Canada because they both know what it means to get that first podium. 

But Lando and Oscar can’t manage that for Nico. 

Really? Seriously? 

They are paid literally millions to drive around in circles. Can they just plaster on a smile for 5 minute and pour champagne all over their colleague that has waited a really long time for this moment? 

(Yeah, I saw that Lando went to do that at the very end, kinda half heartedly, props for trying, I guess.) 

Anyway. 

Rant Over. 

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Idk if this is weird to say and I don't mean to sound like a hater or anything, but is it just me or does it feel like the creator/s of twst don't care anymore??? Like, I can't exactly pinpoint when I started feeling this way but I really feel it nowadays... It just feels like everything's for cash and not love for the characters or story if that makes sense? Or maybe I'm just crazy??

I don't think this is "hating" on Twst at all to express your dissatisfaction with it; it's important to be able to critique what you love--it shows that you care about your interests and want Twst to be better. It only becomes "hate" when you cause harm and/or refuse to hear other opinions on the topic.

Twst definitely feels different than it was at launch, but I don't necessarily think it's because the devs "don't care anymore" and that everything they do is "for cash and not love for the characters or story". What is posed in the ask is based on the assumption that the devs love the characters and story to begin with which... may not be true. (Yana may like Disney and be excited to work on Twst, but we can't assume the same of everyone.) We have to remember that, to the Twst devs, this is work and they are under constant pressure to put out new content (which is the nature of live service games). 5+ years of working on the same project under that kind of environment could also cause feelings to shift. Sure, maybe individual devs are still very attached to their work or passionate about what they do, but the goal or their product (like other gacha games) has always been profit first and foremost, not to share a love for the characters or story.

I feel I must remind everyone: the devs/creatives do NOT get final say in what happens with Twst. The devs just make art and write for the game. It's the higher ups in corporate giving approval on what content gets put out, what collabs Twst gets into, the direction of the project, etc. Let's not blame the devs for "losing love" for what they do when it is most likely NOT them making the decisions. If Twst feels like it's more focused on making money than expanding on the story or characters, then that's NOT a fault of the devs.

Now, what do I mean when I say that Twst "feels different" than it was at launch?? Simple: Twst is no longer JUST a game, it now feels like a full-on franchise, something a company actively promotes to get more eyes on their product (and therefore more money in their wallets). Think about it. We have so many more merch releases and irl events (pop-up shops, collab cafes, livestreams, exhibitions, con panels, even the 3D live concert in fall 2025). There's the manga, light novel, and, very soon, the anime adaptations. The EN server now exists in North America, Singapore, and Australia.

Along with that, there's been a shift in in-game content. We're getting staff cards and even overblot cards, which have long since been desired since Twst's early days (meaning a lot of players would happily spend or save to get them). We're getting Halloween characters and birthday cards (ie more things to roll for). New banners consistently come out (usually with groovies locked or timegated), which induces FOMO and encourages people to roll now rather than later. However, despite getting new cards more frequently than we did before, we are getting fewer vignettes and instead get furniture, which many (myself included) believe is not a suitable replacement. Voice lines by themselves are also not adequate, as they hardly tell a story even when stitched altogether. We are, quite literally, getting LESS story and NO gems (each vignette you read, you get 5 gems back) for rolling some of the shiny new SSRs. For example, the Clubwears, hometown rerun SSRs, AND book 7 SSRs have no vignettes. In some cases, event Rs like GloMasq Riddle and Ruggie, have no vignettes either.

Another thing that may contribute to Twst feeling different is how... daring they've gotten with flaunting the "Disney"-ness of it all. Disney characters only used to be vaguely alluded to in stories or as figures in a time long since passed. They felt almost mythical, even Mickey (who was the only Disney character we could actually "meet"). But now there are so many overt references to it and cross-promotional campaigns. For example, we had not one, not two, but THREE Tsumsted Wonderland events, each with multiple SSRs you could roll for. Then there's the Lost in the Book events where we literally meet multiple Disney characters straight from the films. And how about the entire Platinum Jacket line, which exists as a part of Disney's centennial? The in-game promotional campaigns and relevant event reruns to promote live-action remake releases? It gives the sense of Disney corporate using nostalgia to promote sales and emotional attachment.

So long story short: yes, Twst has changed, but I'd argue that's natural and to be expected of a game that's been running for years. (The quality of writing also naturally fluctuates with a live service game, so I'm not going to count that as a point for Twst "changing" or now feeling different.) With the success it has achieved, it must be giving the higher-ups more money and confidence to "branch out" and increase the revenue via other streams. This means more merch, more events, more adaptations, more banners--but it also unfortunately means fewer vignettes, more peddling of other Disney IPs, and seemingly never getting a break from Twst. It's very much a double-edged sword, and everyone's going to feel a little differently about it.

[candlelightreader]

I don't think I ever got into such last minute stuff, but I certainly remember in high school being presured to write a paper with little to no time by our biotechnology teacher. She wanted us to enter into a science writing competition. I just straight up found ideas online on cloning, if I remember correctly, and threw them together angrily and stressfully. It was the first time I realized I responded well to working under pressure, because I did it and not only that, I won a prize (something like 3rd place in my category) along with about three others in my class.

She knew exactly how to push us and the results were good if not great. I didn't go into science, and I don't remember what the paper was really about other than living an argument about how cloning would cause overpopulation that I didn't cite and that I felt bad for because my teacher complimented me on it.

If I'd used AI, I wouldn't have learned to push myself, I wouldn't have gotten to parsel through sources for pertinent information to present the key points as requested by the assignment, I would not have learned to communicate ideas in writing by summarizing my findings, etc.

Whenever I think about students using AI, I think about an essay I did in high school. Now see, we were reading The Grapes of Wrath, and I just couldn't do it. I got 25 pages in and my brain refused to read any more. I hated it. And its not like I hate the classics, I loved English class and I loved reading. I had even enjoyed Of Mice and Men, which I had read for fun. For some reason though, I absolutely could NOT read The Grapes of Wrath.

And it turned out I also couldn't watch the movie. I fell asleep in class both days we were watching it.

This, of course, meant I had to cheat on my essay.

And I got an A.

The essay was to compare the book and the movie and discuss the changes and how that affected the story.

Well it turned out Sparknotes had an entire section devoted to comparing and contrasting the book and the movie. Using that, and flipping to pages mentioned in Sparknotes to read sections of the book, I was able to bullshit an A paper.

But see the thing is, that this kind of 'cheating' still takes skills, you still learn things.

I had to know how to find the information I needed, I needed to be able to comprehend what sparknotes was saying and the analysis they did, I needed to know how to USE the information I read there to write an essay, I needed to know how to make sure none of it was marked as plagerized. I had to form an opinion on the sparknotes analysis so I could express my own opinions in the essay.

Was it cheating? Yeah, I didn't read the book or watch the movie. I used Sparknotes. It was a lot less work than if I had read the book and watched the movie and done it all myself.

The thing is though, I still had to use my fucking brain. Being able to bullshit an essay like that is a skill in and of itself that is useful. I exercised important skills, and even if it wasnt the intended way I still learned.

ChatGTP and other AI do not give that experience to people, people have to do nothing and gain nothing from it.

Using AI is absolutely different from other ways students have cheated in the past, and I stand by my opinion that its making students dumber, more helpless, and less capable.

However you feel about higher education, I think its undeniable that students using chatgtp is to their detriment. And by extension a detriment to anyone they work with or anyone who has to rely on them for something.

[erinwantstowrite]

everytime i want a new chapter i think of the up and coming angst and i realize i should be happy with what i got

look right now we're not digging too much into angst,,, just a little bit of the regular, ever present reminder that peter is NOT getting his hopes up on staying in their world. so you're safe for now!

chapter 21, however, where we get to talk to Thor and clear up some things, is where peter talks more about a certain sister that he lost. and THAT is gonna be depressing. hopefully i make up for it later with Friendsgiving fluff! and then we get to dive in to Avengers + y'all are getting some hints about a Damian plot that has been bubbling under the surface

(also i'm gonna use this ask to yap for a minute!! because i haven't given a proper update in a minute.

today, i finished rewriting my outline for the 14th time ((i counted)) and finally got something workable. in all honesty, i don't think i've gotten past 9,000 words in all the times i've written and rewritten this chapter. the first scene has changed so many times, for both POV's and starting points and all that jazz that i felt crazy. i kept going back to my outline and trying to follow my own advice, but it was hard. so i'm really thrilled that i had something good happen. i feel more confident in this outline than i have in months

im about to tap into my roots from college where i test how much espresso my body can take before i collapse /hj. i have another summer camp coming up next week that i'm a counselor at, AND i'm seeing the Superman movie on the 11th, so i'm trying to get a LOT done tomorrow, thursday, and saturday. plus, i'm trying to make this chapter a little longer than my norm as an apology for taking sooooo long. this pretty much became a hiatus for me on accident.

and before anyone is worried that i'm putting too much pressure on myself to please y'all: i really miss writing. i love digital art and music, but this writer's block + being busy has been really hard to cope with cause i love writing that much. if i could do it all day every day i really would. it actually helps to know that so many of y'all are still looking forward to another chapter despite how long it's taken. so i hope knowing that i'm gonna have some free time where i can get back in my groove makes y'all as happy as it does me!

[dexantnaomi-askblog]

Haibits me again, I have a request

Could you please make a part 2 of the forsaken killers and survivors with a genderless reader with similar abilities to the scientist role in miitopia whose a neutral role? ALSO I MADE A PERSONALITY FOR THEM

Their a pretty antisocial person whose pretty quiet but they're pretty hyperactive in rounds laughing like a maniac when being chased, they also zone out from time to time

Also I'd like to add on the "glitch" ability the scientist role has in miitopia to act similar to a gui in a way.. mayhaps

It's okay if not btw this is so self indulgent lalalala

Also there's gambling in miitopia use that info in any way you want lalala

Hmmmmmm, i don't do parts twos, and i probably won't do a part three if you req, but i'll indulge you just this once, please req 4 smt else alr?

Part two of Genderless!Reader x Builderman, Elliot and John Doe (Seprate)

part one, Reader is they/them again

BUILDERMAN (He/Him) okay i can't write him mah gwad

This guy... he doesn't have anything to say about you other than you're nice to be around with

He's netrually a nice guy, don't blame him. Though he has ask you mulitpul times about your role, you only respond to him... once

Well, he has no words anyway so don't really blame him

Sometimes you will help him build (due to your custom GUI) his Sentry/Dispenser or distract the killer with fake copies of you so he has enought time to build

He kinda thinks you're a bit lonely time to time so he finds the time to talk to you or just hang out with you in general

Will sometimes have to snap you out whenever you keep zoning out

He kinda enjoys you being happy and sociable most of the time, like you getting chased but you still laugh and had fun; it actually made his heart stopped beating for a second

He'll also question about your GUI, thought he kinda think you won't reply; you actuall did

Surprised, but not fased

I think y'all got closer or something idk

But yeah y'all talk and hang out alot now, and it gives him the butterflies

And i don't think you'll notice

ELLIOT (He/Him)

This guy is very confused, even when you explained your role to him multipul times (when you didn't want to btw)

He does try to help you most of the time though, by healing you ofc

You kinda help him back by multiplying his ablity for a short amount of time

He likes how sociable you are during rounds, confused why you stayed quite when the round ended

Likes your clothes and weapon, though he thought that the weapon made you a bit scary

Kind of confused on why you had a GUI, and he sorta disliked it; it reminded him of a certan someone

Will ask about GUI though, even if it made him uncomfortable

He'll keen an eye on you everytime you distract the killer

Sometimes you guys make the killer rage and leave due to how much y'all work together for, but it's funni though.

Overall he enjoyed your present

John Doe (He/Him)

He's confused and forgetful, even when you explained it multipul times

He does like your clothes, his mind told him that you were a scientist before it went blank again

He does target you less and less when time goes, or mostly spares you entirely

Likes your voice, espacally when you laugh when he chases you

You remind him of Jane Doe, he just forgot about it

You had talked with him multipul times, and he enjoyed it. Too bad he can't speak propally and he might forgotten about it too

Dang the spectre really hates happyness huh

He tried his best to speak, or hold you without hurting you. He's unsure what to do so he just... close to you

Very close to you, though you didn't really mind it at all

He just trys his best not to hurt you either way

I hate myself for procasnatating this shi crys and sobs in room

[danielcalmdown]

I finished the Red Dead's History book and it's good to finally understand what the whole deal was with the US thruout the 19th century, but man. What the fuck. All this historical knowledge has left me pretty disgusted with human nature. Anything happening that fucks everyone over? It's racism and greed. Always racism and greed. The worst human qualities on display in a rapidly growing scale. And let's not forget the neverending fear of losing white supremacy lmao Also I learned how heavily influenced every life aspect of a cowboy, an outlaw, or literally anyone was by political, economical and racist pillars. I mean yeah duh, just like nowdays and always, but I never gave it much thought before + cowboy related pop culture doesn't give a shit about it. And at first I was mad how Red Dead 2 didn't have balls to walk straight into these issues whenever tackling them, but now I actually get it. They were very careful simply to avoid a lot of controversies. Mainly because those three caused some truly fucked up shit that nobody signs up for when buying an entertainment product, and also because many morons would enjoy seeing it and use it as fresh fuel for their racist and generally backwards beliefs. As it is, the game leaves basically no room for potential disgusting behavior and skewed interpretations, even if the things that could cause them would absolutely be historically accurate and remove the last layer of romanticism towards the wild west (though, who'd really want that to happen...) Anyway, I loved the book as much as I love the game, very smooth and straightforward writing and I recommend it to any cowboy/history fan!

And if you don't like reading you can buy the audiobook narrated by the one and only Arthur fucking Morgan! I mean Roger Clark. I might get it just to experience it myself xD

[epicqtefail]

i'm really sorry that once again i'm making a personal post, i keep doing that lately but then i shoot myself in my stupid foot because i play it down and say i'm getting better and that i'll be back to normal and then i don't go back to normal and feel ashamed about it and idk why i do that

i never want to talk about personal issues and usually the thought of putting it on my blog would make me want to shrivel up into a raisin. i'll keep it short and sweet like the raisin i'll become once i hit post. i think i'm having or about to have a nervous breakdown. i've somehow now lost the capacity to cope with a stressful situation that I was previously handling, and because of that, just lately i can't trust myself to do anything without spectacularly messing up including my job which is scary. i'm losing weight rapidly which i imagine is making it worse and i can't stop shaking in an on-and-off rhythm like a phone on silent lmao so i've been advised to make a GP appointment tomorrow which i will listen to this time and will hopefully get the ball rolling on finding some help to function around it again *spongebob bwomp sound effect*.

that's not to say you'll be rid of me that easily. maybe i should stay off social media but my mood shifts to where i get a lot of comfort from looking at art and writing and keeping up with you guys and if i dont get my dose of wretched robot video game characters i'll perish (it isn't lost on me how lucky i am to still have these comforts and that i get to interact with and collaborate with such wonderful people who keep me inspired). and when i started writing this post i wasn't at all in the mood to joke around, i was really sad and now i want to be light-hearted.

but i just wanted to warn that i'd like to keep being social but i might be worse at it, and i might be extra boring. i disappear because things happen, but i also struggle to come back from those times because i worry about coming across as unenthused or behaving differently. but if i've expressed where i'm at, even if no one reads this, i might subconsciously worry less about that. i have no idea when i'll be back to normal, and i don't want to be gone until then.

this is not a plea to be gentle with me. god no. i like the opposite (disclaimer: i mean that in an appropriate way). it's also not a plea for your attention or time either, like if i comment on something of yours please don't feel like you have to interact with me just because im going through it rn. everyone is dealing with something and just because i have my bullshit i haven't forgotten that nor have my feelings changed about interacting with this community (also if you struggle with replying i am forever holding your hand and telling you its fine and that i love you). i just want to be As Usual, that's what this is all about. i want to go about as normal but obviously i won't be completely normal atm so would like to just get that out there so at least i've explained why

ok here are my guts spilled all over the floor thanks for reading i'm gonna go make a cup of tea but accidentally smash the handle off the mug on the cooker grate or pour the whole drink into the bin in the process and hope my rattling eyeballs don't explode because i'd like to read fanfiction tonight

so much for keeping it short and sweet *turns into a raisin*

[moonpie016]

☆----------------------------------------------------☆

Word count: 2,595

----

Created May 18th

Finished June 6th

----

I’ve had this unfinished for a month. I made it on emotions at first, then was like “I wanna write about these three.”

I even made artwork! But had to avoid showing it without any context because I wanted to use it for this specific thing.

Soooo now you can look at it. :]

Whole hurts his fingers in this, so that’s a heads up incase.

(Will be on ao3 later.)

Been thinking on that previously mentioned thdph lore thing I wanna do. For the future possibly.

Anyways, enjoy. :]

☆----------------------------------------------------☆

“(I see you.)”

The Moon whispered into the night, he'd been up for hours facing towards the sky, all the stars twinkling quietly. He knew they were there. They were watching. Waiting perhaps.

“(Every time I don't want to, I still end up seeing you. I've tried to exist peacefully for our sake. I thought not thinking about anything and keeping myself busy was the way to go.)”

The Moon leaned against the gate surrounding the deck, white paint messily touches the ends of his hoodie strings, even when dry, he could still feel the indent of wet splotches. The feel of a cold breeze passing through. Wherever it came from. He wanted it to last as he continued staring at the sky.

“(But… that didn't really help. It did. It has. I feel …. I'm not sure. ….. I'm not sure what I feel sometimes. .. It's supposed to be my thing. No one else would understand that.

Wouldn't say I feel better. But I can't say I'm not…better. It's weird.

I know there's still some things I need to work on breaking. And just..exist. I thought not seeing you would've helped us. …Ha. Not sure who I'm talkin’ to. I know He's listening.

He needs this.

It's alright.

It's alright to relax.

It's ok to feel.

…Because if not, well, then we'll just become Sol .. heh. ....)”

They could feel a subtle streak, not a tear, but what would've been one, of all the moments he wished someone was listening. He wanted one of them to interrupt his words and grace them with comfort.

They knew it wouldn't come. Obviously no one was listening at all. But the thought of anyone hearing his string of words led him to continue.

“(I shouldn't bother with thinking on things, shouldn't bother thinking on anything, really.. But no one can blame me but myself for that. I have all these thoughts and things I want to let out, to say, to understand. But, I really can't do that. Mind wouldn't give me the chance to, and Soul’d …just ignore it and try something else.

I know you want that too, I can feel it.)”

The wind blew across the house once again, more forceful than before, leading Heart to return inside. Walking upstairs and into their room, the lights dim with only a small night light illuminating everything.

Crawling onto their bed, their head spiraled with ideas for their vessel. He needed something. The harmony they had was not an issue. But everything still felt….bad. Unresolved.

Something called to Heart as he looked towards his doorway. He got up and listened…

It wasn't the other two.

He followed the sound around down the hallway, soon meeting the host's door. He could only imagine what would happen next entering here.

Well. He didn't have too..

Slowly, he creaked the door open, carefully inching the floor across past Soul's bed, hearing them snore.

But that wasn't the main focus here. The Moon heard small clucks as he felt feathers brush against his legs. Darrell looked at Heart with confusion, while Heart himself shushed the bird. He continued inching forward until he felt a long trim of fabric, feeling it more to understand what in the world it was.

“(..what is this…?)” He whispered. He felt around more..

He then remembered something from before, before Concord.. Soul would rarely let the other two inside their room, which was weird in itself, but one time, Heart got a glimpse inside roaming around. It was at the end of the room, a large yellow tapestry covered the wall, having some star design embroidered on it. When asked about it, Soul simply brushed it off (like always) and quickly talked about something else.

–

Heart left the host's room and went to Mind's, he needed to know what this was. It was itching his brain. Sneaking inside was the easy part, no random stuff to make any noise, Logic was pristine.

…

The Sun was comfortable in its bed, dreams didn't seem to come by for it, but when they did, he didn't dare miss them. It was a special event. He was sitting by the sand outside near the beach, the sun itself hitting evening, turning everything into a warm orange hue. Simply wonderful.

…All of a sudden, the sun was gone, the clouds moving in and flooding the scene with rain. The next way to go. It was normal. The rain poured down endlessly, but wasn't an issue for him.

Until he actually felt it. Weird. His namesake must be playing a trick.

He felt it again. And again…

As its eye opened, he saw …..oh goodness it's them.

“(Hey. Uhh what's that thing in Soul's room?)”

It was face to face with the creature’s blindfold, hearing the question made the Mind squirm.

“[1. Get off me,]”

Mind pushed Heart away from her, getting up and turning on the lamp just beside its bed, letting warm rays light everything up.

“[2. What thing are you talking about…? It's…3am.]”

“(The thing! The yellow tapestry, that thing! What's it for?)”

The Sun slowly blinked, sighing with annoyance at the Heart’s question. But honestly, it wondered as well. It also saw the piece every time he would pass through. The two thought for a moment, Sun tapping his forehead and the Moon rubbing their knees.

“[Hm. You know how Atlas sometimes stays in his room all day?]”

“(Yeah..? But he does that all the time.

…Actually, when that happens, it's…usually cus of…him.)”

“[...This isn't that hard to piece together. It's obviously for Whole. But why of all things does that concern you? …And why didn't you wait till morning…]”

The mumbles of the Sun weren't important. Heart slid onto the floor, hands and feet both to the ground. Thinking about it, he latched his tail on Mind's leg, coiling around it, despite the confusion and protest against whatever he was doing. The Heart immediately crawled out the doorway and near Soul's room. With Mind trying not to get hit.

Once there, Sun hissed, pushing away from the emotional side and dusting off his pajamas. Staring at the creature still on the floor.

“[Why on EARTH would you do that?!! You could've just walked!!]”

“(Shush! It's practical. And we're here soo, stop whining.)”

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. They're the one who's whining, not him! The Sun huffed. Meanwhile Heart was already sneaking in.

Great.

Playful clucks were heard, Darrell popped out from the bed and greeted the two. But there wasn't time for that. The room felt claustrophobic, everything was everywhere, cans and clothes littering the floor. Keyboard filled with sheet music and notes of who knows what. It made Mind want to leave. It could. It didn't have to stay here. Let Heart get in trouble. And he'll be scott free.

They were both in front of it, the thing that called them here in the first place.

“(....how does it work…?)”

The Heart whispered.

“[It's usually some “magic” type stuff he does. …Hold on.]”

The Moon tilted his head, what was it up too?

Mind scoured the keyboard. Nope.

The desk. Of course!

Underneath a load of junk, Mind pulled out their mask. It was white with red lipstick and markings on the cheeks. Big hollowed eyes that slightly slanted at the edges, giving it lashes in a sense. Being chipped at the top. But what was really unnerving, it has a big toothy smile across its face.

Strange.

It returned to Heart with the mask, soon enough the tapestry glowed bright, strings of light latching around the mask. And in turn, around the Sun and Moon.

–

“(.....Mmm.. Huh..?)”

Their head felt foggy, their surroundings felt…. different. He could hear Sun’s multiple questions as it too awoke. But…they weren't sleeping…?

“[...I don't think we've been here before. It's… dark. You must like it, perfect place for you.]”

Moon waved Mind away, beginning to walk ahead of it. They once again felt a call, but now it was clear. Mind scrunched his face as he followed the Moon in all this.

The call became louder, louder, and louder. Buzzing inside the emotional side’s head continuing forward. The dark night sky bloomed a new light.

They could hear the jingling of beads being shuffled around, a somber strum on a guitar, hums so quiet you wouldn't notice…but recognize.

He strummed a few more times before looking at the two with his cold eyes.

They both approached quietly, Mind on foot, while Heart on all fours. For why, no one knew. They took their tail and poked their vessel, feeling a sense of contentment in the air.

“(Hi… ..)”

Immediately, Heart's face tightened, overflowing with emotions all over. The sinking pit lumping inside him the more he grew close to Him. This couldn't be a normal meeting. Ha. Nope. It never will be.

They just wanted to say hi.

–

Harmonia's eyes pricked with tears, but his expression never changed.

Mind just glanced at the two. Seems everyone here wasn't at all competent. It faced away from them with its tail between its legs.

Deep inside, he could feel the discontent, the disdain cracking through the seams. The Heart stepped closer to the man, getting closer than they could, it felt weird to even think this could happen. They thought only Soul had this chance, but it seems like they were important. For whatever it was. He reached out and poked their vessel.

He stopped hearing the guitar strum, the only thing filling the silence that neither one was too fond of. It was welcoming, sure. But…odd.

Then he felt a hand holding his own.

But nothing was said. Just…nothing.

Mind eyed the two down. It didn't understand. It just wanted everything to seem normal, one day was all it wanted. It approached calmly just beside the Moon.

His face filled with annoyance.

“[... I didn't think it would actually work. But that would only mean.. What do you want?]”

“(Don't you think having a calm approach would work on him? Being abrasive isn't going to work.)”

Mind's face turned from indifference to pure irritation. Was he being serious?

“[Seems you actually thought of something useful for once! Maybe try using that yourself. He doesn't need these soft words…]”

Heart sighed, they weren't going to do this, not here, not now. Especially with him here. He doesn't need this.

He ignored the Sun's ideas and focused on the task placed in front of him. Didn't know where to start with this. But Heart assured himself, tapping the vessel’s hand intertwined.

“(This is…strange. I knew I heard something…and I guess it was you, wasn't it?)”

Whole nodded. Still silent as ever. It was weird just them being here, but to hear nothing…no input.

Heart could hear slight strums on the guitar's strings. Must be fiddling.

Most things on Whole are scarce. They remembered the low haze of his eyes, his hair springing in ways all over the place.

His contempt.

Apathy…

The Mind saw Heart’s hands shaking, how hard is it to just talk?

“[You're doing it again. Breathe. Both of you.]”

It's voice full of command but without that cold attitude it had prior. Heart let go of the vessel, rubbing the sides of his arms slowly. The weight soothed their nerves.

“(Sorry. It's just…weird…!

….

Uh. Whole…? Should I even call you that….. What's..up?)”

“[He's not spoken a word since we've been here. What makes you think he'll answer?]”

“(I have to try, don't I?)”

The Sun and Moon’s reasons were all over the place. One wanted directions on how to work this out. The other, saw no importance in handling it calmly.

It just wanted to be back home.

The vessel's eyes darted between the halves, rolling and rolling over as their words became fog. And then, noise. His breathing closed within his lungs, fingers returning to his guitar in a matter of seconds.

It was a playful tune at first…

he then thrashed his fingers against the strings quickly. Subtle burns of pain filling up. He continued until the Sun and Moon faced him, both worried. But it wasn't like they cared. He didn't.

It never ended.

It wouldn't stop.

The noises grew louder and louder…

A touch of cold and smooth, and rough with edge lured his fingers away from the instrument.

Staring at him with the same worries as before.

“[Apologies.

We promised we would fix this. …and I suppose Heart's methods are…. alright. But, please stop. You're only hurting yourself more by doing that.]”

Mind sat down next to the Moon, reaching her mechanical hand towards Whole.

If this were anyone else she would've kept to herself. But, this was a special occasion.

He didn't take its hand. So, Mind carefully held the neck and base of the guitar, tugging it towards itself. At first…Whole wouldn't budge, he needed it, and it needed him. It was the only thing that made sense.

It continued to stare at him while gripping the guitar more. Before it laid in her hands against her gown.

He looked.. upset? Mad? It couldn't tell.

“[Now that that's out of the way. Can you explain why you wanted us here? What's the situation and is there anything we can do to improve? It would help us a lot.]”

“(This is the most considerate thing I've ever heard you say.. it's scary.)”

“[Well, what am I supposed to say? That's what you say all the time.]”

Heart shrugged.

…

Would answering solve anything? It never does. It only creates an open door, and anything that enters never leaves. …Only if someone opens the door if they truly care.

How would they care. What even are they at this point. Just…things.

They want an answer. They're looking for one.

If I had any, it wouldn't be helped.

…

“(You doubt yourself too much, man.)”

Whole’s head lifted from his slump. How…

“(Did you forget? …heh. What do you think I'm made for? Look, yeah seeking help is….so hard. So hard! It baffles me. It hurts, it's annoying, but….it works. We don't know what's really wrong… You and me. We know nothing.)”

“[True. You really don't know anything.

Mr. Crocodile here is proof. If anyone wants to help you…it's us. Despite this …. juggling of many things, chaos, aggression. We still care.]”

Heart's brows scrunched up, confusion laid on their face.

“(Crocodile….?)”

The Mind shoved his hand on Heart’s head, pulling a smile that felt forced. [Also feeling uncomfortable from contact].

“[REGARDLESS. You're ok. …Well not really. But you're mostly doing alright.]”

After rubbing its hand against its gown, the two gathered next to their vessel. Artemis on his left, Apollo on his right, both cushioning again Whole like a sandwich. It felt unreal. Maybe it was.

Guess stewing in here for…endless amounts of times weren't working.

The white that filled this space turned into a cool blue.

Heart looked into the void, feeling content, there was no hole in his chest. No darkness suffocating his core. His head still filled with all the regrets, shame, and painful memories that haunted each of them.

But they weren't there. They were here.

With Mind, with Harmonia. What chances would that bring?

—

The two were on the floor of Soul's room, somehow…it was still asleep. They looked at each other in shock, scurrying away as fast as they could and into Heart's room.

Both laying on the floor with thought.

“[.... We're never telling Soul about this.]”

“(Mhm.)”

— — —

[patchwork-crow-writes]

I am rotating transfemme Ralsei in my head now. I knew it was a thing but your post really made me SEE IT. I’ve also been reading through your poly fun gang works and that combined with Rouxls throuple comment made me write something myself (and start… two other longer fics because my god these three)

This is a very funny ask to receive, because up until very recently I have been what you might call "transfem Ralsei-agnostic" - I saw the interpretation, it made sense to me, but it didn't really call out to me the same way it did others. My main exposure to transfem Ralsei has been through the stellar @acaciapines and xir amazing Deltarune fics - I wholeheartedly recommend you read them just for how good they are!

I want to say that, before we begin, I am a cishet, gender-conforming male in my early 30s, so if I at any point come across as insensitive or I get something wrong, please do let me know and I will do my utmost to address it and improve as I move forward. Heaven knows trans folks have it hard enough right now without ignorant or ill-thought-out comments from well-meaning people salting their wounds.

Evidence has been steadily growing for the idea that Ralsei may end up transitioning mid-story, either as a way to better assert and express her growing self-identity, or as a giant middle-finger to the Prophecy which has controlled her life up to that point. It's started in tiny trickles - the word PRINCE being highlighted yellow when he first mentions it to Kris, indicating its plot importance; his reaction to the Spamton-mannequin dress, which it has been noted was the same dress worn by Mettaton, who is himself considered an allegory for transition; and the use of the track Lost Girl when it's discovered that Ralsei's room in the castle is completely empty, which prompts a discussion where he talks about developing his own opinions and personality.

All of these point to the possibility that Ralsei could very well become a princess before the story concludes, and considering the significance of the Prophecy foretelling all that is fated to happen, gains a new narrative significance as a way for her to escape the doom set before them. These combined make a compelling case, to be sure, and I would be very happy were that to actually occur in canon.

Now, I realise I must tread quite carefully here, because I don't want to give the impression that I think the transfem interpretation of Ralsei is in any way "lesser" to the current canon Ralsei. I adore Ralsei no matter what gender he or she will choose to identify with - if indeed he settles for one gender at all. I do feel that both interpretations of Ralsei have something valuable to say, however - Ralsei as a gender-non-conforming male who is nurturing, compassionate, wears dress-like clothing and partakes in traditionally "feminine" hobbies such as sewing and baking, works as a potential role-model for young males who wish to exhibit those behaviours but fear being judged for it. On the other hand, a transfem Ralsei who chooses that identity wholeheartedly and for her own selfish reasons is also an incredibly rousing idea that could be a huge boon for those who wish to follow in her footsteps.

Both are equally valid, of course, and I would be happy no matter what Toby has in store for Ralsei... my only concern is that these clues are hinting at this grand revelation only for it to amount to nothing, and I feel that people would find themselves VERY hard done by were that to be the case. I understand the need for Toby to hint at this development, especially if it does become plot-relevant as we've theorised... but the lack of more concrete foreshadowing and evidence has me slightly concerned. I suppose all we can do for now is wait and see.

OR! Maybe they could make Ralsei multigender/genderfluid as a way to express her shifting identity as he grapples with himself. Fitting that when faced with the idea of "your choices don't matter", Ralsei might go "But what if I DON'T choose? Check and mate, prophecy!"

And with that, I, Patchwork "cisgender male" Crow, shall take my leave, before I really DO overstep my bounds and wind up being pelted with tomatoes.

...

Agh, I got so caught up in the transfem Ralsei discussion I completely forgot about the 2nd half of this ask! I'm really pleased that you liked my poly Ralsei works, and that they inspired you to write your own! I'd love to read them when they're complete, so please send me a link whenever's convenient :D