#I promise I'm trying to get back into it but it's just hard when I fall off for months at a time
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Idk how to label this. Wifehunter John?
The idea of possessive/obsessive John manipulating a situation and stealing a wife for himself struck me, so just coughing the idea up while I sneak away for a coffee before I actually have to start work in 20 mins 💖 entirely unedited, abrupt ending
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For someone married to his job, he has put quite a bit of thought into what he is looking for in a wife. Namely, that she's already married.
His reasoning is threefold. He can admit to himself, firstly, that it satisfies his need for control. Competency. He's a busy man with a demanding job. Not quite retired yet, no time to build his own from scratch. With this, he gets a wife boxed up and ready-trained. Broken in.
Secondly, the need for control bleeds into his saviour complex. She'll need a shoulder to cry on, someone strong and capable to get her back on her feet. She'll be feeling a little fragile. Needy. Perfect.
And thirdly, it does something wild to his jealous, possessive streak. The idea of taking something precious, of breaking her bond to another man and tying it to him? Delicious. The idea that she used to be someone else's, that he has to imprint himself onto her knowing that in doing so he is erasing the imprint of another man? It has his teeth aching, grinding even as heat rises in his belly. Stirs at him.
The idea swirls lazily in the back of his mind, never quite finding the right time or right partner. He bats at it a few times, lazy cat playing with the notion, seeing how far it can stretch before it snaps. Eyes up pretty things everywhere he goes, glancing down at their left hands just to check, but nothing quite tugs on that string. Until one day it does when he's outfitting the security system at your house.
It's side work. Cash in hand, word of mouth. Something to keep him busy when on mandated leave. Something to keep in mind as his retirement from active duty creeps closer. And your husband is a real piece of work, all blustering braggadocio energy. Young buck, not knowing his place in the herd. Not knowing that he'd be better scratching his antlers off on a tree than going head-to-head with a gristled thing like John.
It's like John's energy, his presence in the house, sends alarm bells ringing in your husband's mind (Be the man. Don't back down. Puff up your chest and strut). And it plays so perfectly into John's hands because your young buck doesn't realise that what he's really doing is fawning. To John. (Look at me, be impressed by me!) He makes his biggest mistake in putting you down in front of him, trying to sidle up to John and create some kind of desperate camaraderie. Ordering you to bring tea to the men at work. Rolling his eyes at your attempts to talk, to ask questions about the work being done. Waving you off so he can stand and watch the proceedings. Like he could supervise. Like he has any clue what he's doing.
Only the promise of the long game keeps John from levelling him with a hard look, from calling him outblike he'd love to.
He hears you both in the in the other room, having swatted the young buck off like a particularly virulent pest. Noisy and bothersome. Not needed - or wanted- in this home. And entirely too stupid to realise that John wasn't being jocular in his dismissal.
You've been scribbling away for the past few days, something occupying your time, keeping you happy and hidden away in the kitchen.
"You're not serious, are you?"
"Well, yes," he hears the slight quaver in your voice before you find your footing. You've got at least a bit of spine. Good. "You said that I should find an occupation. Not just 'laze around the house playing housewife'. This is what I-"
"Oh come on, I didn't mean- You don't think that this is viable, do you?"
"Well... I love gardening. And I'm good at it. And there's no reason that it can't be more accessible for people, especially with the current economic-"
He cuts you off with a scoff. "Dear, just- I don't want you to be disappointed. I think you don't quite understand the time and effort this will take. And you know nothing of marketing, publishing. Why don't you put that away and start on dinner?"
And oh, isn't that delicious. He can taste it now, that idea that has been swirling. It's thick, almost tangible on his tongue. The tension in the house, the bitter lacryma of stifled tears. The slight acidity of words you left unsaid. It has his mouth watering, pupils dilating.
And when he's packing up that evening, tools and materials tucked in to the heavy workman's case, he swings by the kitchen on his way out. Catches the way something is jutting out slightly from the bin, lid slightly askew. When he pulls it out he realises it's some kind of notebook, carefully (lovingly) bound. Pictures pasted, mindmaps and notes and plans scribbled in the margins. Your gardening tips. Kitchen scraps, window boxes, rooftop plots. Urban gardening. It's deeply thoughtful, well researched.
A labour of love, lying in the rubbish.
Sweet, clever little thing. That just won't do.
He leaves your house with a little piece of you tucked away in his toolkit and a nice plan forming. He'll be back, of course, not quite finished with his work. He'd planted a few little links into the system he'd almost installed, projecting not just to the monitor in your home but also in his. Got to keep his eyes on you, keep you safe and cared for in ways that your useless husband can't.
Finding that book was a boon. He'd say it was divinely ordained if he believed in all that. It weighs heavy in his toolbox as he whistles out the door.
Now, how to get you alone and return it to you..
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This idea may have been done before? I'm not sure, sorry! I've seen a lot of possessive John floating around. Tagging @stellewriites because I said I would last time, and you've been so encouraging of my nonsense.
Anyway I've got like 4 long-form WIPs that I'm working on, so I may never actually write this one but thought I'd share since that image set I just reblogged made me feral 💖
#im so tired and its cold dont judge me this friday morning#yeah like i p much only focus on fics and long form but maybe i should post more drabbly things#bc i have so many ideas and so little time#like ideally everything would be at least 10k and beautifully written#but ive only managed 2 long fics and 2 2-3k word snapshots since i joined the fandom in autumn#so yeah anyway here is my man being a possessive unhinged creep#captain john price#john price/reader#john price x reader#john price#cod imagine#cod mw2#cod x reader#cod mwii#báirseach writes
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if there's one thing you know about yourself is that you shouldn watch your mouth when you're drunk.
but you're out with your friend, and she looks beautiful when she laughs, and it's so good to see her not stressed from work, and it's great that you finally get to hang out after such a long time, and you can't help but ask her:
"why?"
"why what?"
"why do you humans keep wasting so many resources trying to make that earth planet habital? i don't get it."
she gets this somber look in her face. the laughter stops. she looks like she might cry.
you feel terrible.
"i'm so sorry, i shouldn't have... you don't have to answer that-"
"my grandma was born there, you know that?"
you stop talking. she looks distant.
"when i was a kid, she told us all about how it used to be, before everything. when she was little, she lived in a small house with her parents, and her mom grew crops in the garden, and they had a tree that gave them bitersweet fruit on the summers. sometimes birds would make nests on that tree, and she and my great grandma would set up little houses and playthings for the babies to play with.
she was always fascinated by birds. all animals, really, but especially birds. i've never seen a bird in my entire life if not for her drawings, and she always regretted the fact that she never got into coloring to show us exactly what they looked like.
she has pictures of her and her college friends visiting waterfalls and running together in the wilderness. she used to camp, like, a lot, really camp, in the middle of the woods, just her and her friends, like we read in the books. it's different from camping in vr, she kept telling us, we had to actually learn how to not die in the woods.
she married my grandpa at the beach, and... it's so different from the simulations. the sunset was beautiful in the pictures she showed us, but she told us that it was even better in person. she looked so beautiful with her sunburnt skin, even though she was in pain, and we never have to worry about burning our skin because of the sun, everything is all so protected and artificial, we don't even see the sun anymore.
my grandparents promised each other that when they got older they would have a farm. my grandma always wanted a few birds and a big dog. but then, when my parents were ten years old, the planet was so screwed that they had to populate other planets. she kept telling us that she was one of the lucky ones, because my grandpa was in the military and they helped people evacuate, but that most people like her died on earth.
everyone thinks it's our fault, you know? we doomed our planet, why would we even be trying so hard to restore it? i don't know. my grandma did it because she didn't want my parents to grow up in this place, where everything is made up and she did it all for nothing, because we're still here and we know nothing different from it. and to be honest, it's kind of hard to believe it was her fault in the first place. she really did her best. she saved water. she planted trees. she protected birds and other wildlife. she protested.
the truth is: no one listened. no one important enough, at least. no one cared about the little people like her, who were just trying to live their lives in a doomed world, and kept doing her best. the big guys wanted the money and they fucked everyone else over just to have it."
"i'm sorry, i-"
"i guess now that we've lost everything people are finally learning to miss what we used to have. our lives weren't so bad. and we want to go home, even though that doesn't make sense. i don't know what home looks like. i don't know what a bird looks like, or what it's like to stand on a beach and feel the waves lap at your feet, or what the forest smells like. but i keep trying to go back anyways."
she takes a sip of her drink.
you stay silent.
"You humans have hundreds of planets under your control, so why do you waste so many resources trying to make that Earth planet habital? I genuinely don't understand."
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Jude Jazza - A story about a ruthless and arrogant man and an unfulfilled promise (JP ECB)
as usual I don’t own the story or characters, they belong to cybird. some things might’ve translated not as smoothly but i tried to get close to the original tone + eng isn’t my first language so forgive any mistakes ;-; also beware of some spoilers about his backstory
I wonder when it happened.
When my sister was still alive, she and I had a high fever.
(I was in so much pain l felt like I was dying.)
(I remember her asking me to distract her from the agony of the high fever.)
Jude: “What do you want to do when you’re rich?”
It was a playful way to forget, even for a moment, the pain of the day.
Jude’s younger sister: “Anything?”
Jude: “Sure.”
The pained look on my sister's face breaks into a little smile of joy.
Jude’s younger sister: “If that's the case, let's see… I want to go to the moon!”
My sister's eyes, which are the same amethyst color as mine, look towards the highest point in the sky. There, like a jewel dropped into the deep sea, there was a round moon floating in the jet black.
(...... Ha, the moon.)
Jude: "Idiot, even if I had that kind of money I can’t do that.”
(I've never heard of humans going to the moon.)
Jude’s younger sister: “But the Queen’s got the whole world on her palm, right?”
Jude’s younger sister: "If we can go around the world, can't we go to the moon?"
How much money does the Queen have? As I was thinking about whether it was really possible to go to the moon with that kind of money...
Jude’s younger sister: "Hey, brother, promise me. When you become rich, take me to the moon."
A human being going to the moon is a dream too ridiculous to be true. But my sister, who might die tomorrow, needed hope at this moment.
Jude: "I got it. I'll use money, magic, anything to get you there.”
Jude’s younger sister: “Brother, it's lame to think you can use magic.”
Jude: “Keep quiet.”
Jude’s younger sister: "I'm going to go to the moon. I have to get well soon."
Jude: “That's right. We have to get you better."
Only when I was with my sister, I felt something like the outline of happiness. Every time her small hand grasped mine, a warm feeling spread across my chest. But before the feeling of happiness could develop, I always felt sorry for her. Just when I was thinking that one day I would make my sister happy. She was bought with money, and then she died after.
And then I - I swore revenge.
By the time I started my trading company upon graduating from public school, I had the noblemen who killed my sister completely by the scruff of the neck.
Even though they were already busy dealing with taxes, it piled up even more with debt.
-- After their mansion and land were all seized, I went to meet the people who bought my sister.
Jude: “Thank you very much for your time.”
Nobleman: "W-what are you? W-Wa...!"
I grabbed the hair of the most pompous looking nobleman sitting in the chair as hard as I can.
Jude: “You guys are the ones who buy poor children and make them do bad things."
Jude: “There's no point in trying to make excuses. Everything can be backed up."
The nobleman’s eyes widen as I flung the report that contains numerous misdeeds I’ve already investigated.
I dragged him down and stamped on his head as hard as I can with my shoe.
Jude: "Confess. A few years ago, you bought a kid with asthma from a longshoreman."
Nobleman: “Well that’s… Uh.”
Jude: “Confess…!”
No matter how much I hurt them, the noblemen didn't speak.
Then I realized.
They really don’t remember.
When I threatened the servant, he trembled and spilled everything.
Servant: “I buried so many people in the garden that I can't remember who's who…”
When I headed for the garden of the beautiful mansion, I found that only one corner had been dug up in an unnatural manner.
Jude: “…….”
-- So so many. I sit in front of one of the piles and gently touched it with my fingertips.
Jude: “Brother is here... Answer me.”
I didn’t hear anything.
I didn’t even know if she was here.
All I know is that it was already too late.
So then I introduced the nobles to my father and brother, who were still working at the port, sipping muddy water.
(Isn't it great to do hard physical labor with the person you sold your daughter to?)
I had my subordinates watch over as they were weakened by the humiliation of the harsh labor.
I did nothing, I just watched.
Soon after, the nobles, my father, and my brother were all dead.
I killed them all.
-……De.
-……Jude.
Ellis: “Jude.”
(Ellis….?)
(……Ah, I fell asleep.)
It seems that because I didn't get enough sleep, I passed out while sitting.
(--- Even if it's)
Ellis: “What kind of dream was it?”
Jude: “Hah?”
Ellis: “You sounded like you had a nightmare.”**
Jude: “It was a shitty dream.”
Ellis: “I see. Jude is unhappy even in his dreams.”
Jude: “Shut up dumbass.”
Ellis smiles and looks somewhere else.
When I followed Ellis' line of sight, I saw a full moon floating there.
Ellis: "I guess Jude won't be happy until he gets to that moon."
(I know the truth. Even if I went to that moon, I wouldn't be happy.)
My sister whom I promised to is dead.
I can't take her to the moon.
The crazy dream I have is a promise that will never come true.
Ellis: "Hey, Jude. Can you breathe on the moon?"
Jude: “Ah?”
Ellis: "I'm just worried if Jude dies there before I can kill him."
Jude: “You really are fucking crazy. It can’t be helped.”
Still, I only have this promise.
That's why—.
(Someday I'll go to the moon.)
**Just in case this small detail matters (not really but) he was making sounds like people usually having nightmares do. i bet he gets these nightmares often;-;**
*If anything got deleted and i didn’t notice it’s probably tumblr being weird on my ipad bc of storage ahajaj)
TN: OK wow after reading his backstories… my crack theory about jude and the moon some time ago turned out to be at least 70% right? also jude has always been pretty snarky/sarcastic haha even to his younger sister (a little) i have a loooot of thoughts on his backstory but ill dump it after finishing his route. it really is dark and horrible how the rich people bought children and just…. did all that…. i support jude torturing crazy nobles 🙂↕️
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Lorraine Baines McFly and Female Autonomy
Hello. I have spent the past month slowly losing my mind about Lorraine Baines McFly, Marty's mom in Back to the Future, so I am finally trying to articulate some of the reasons I'm so feral about her.
There's a quote from Lea Thompson, the actress who played Lorraine, that goes, "The three parts that women usually get to play are virgins, whores, and mothers, and in Back to the Future Part II, I got to play all three." While this is commentary on Hollywood and the limited roles that fictional women get forced into, I think it's also interesting to think about it in terms of how these roles are reflected onto actual women and used to limit their personhood and confine them to a very narrow range of acceptable behaviors . . . and then in turn to think about how the character interacts with these roles on a Watsonian level. They're affecting not just Lorraine the character as she was written, but Lorraine from an in-universe perspective trying to navigate life as a woman in a patriarchal world. Some of the sexism she faces is a deliberate narrative choice and some of it is a result of the writers' blind spots, but for the purpose of this essay I'm less interested in teasing out which threads are which and more in looking at it holistically.
Because the thing about Lorraine is that she's aware of what the acceptable roles and behaviors for women are, and the versions that we see of her across the various timelines alternately fight against and capitulate to these constraints. What is a woman allowed to be? How much is Lorraine willing to break from those restrictions? How much does she allow other women to break from them? Does she resent her role or embrace it? I have a lot of thoughts specifically about how the different iterations of her interact with concepts of female agency and autonomy.
(Putting this under a cut because it is. Long.)
I started thinking about this when I was talking with my partner about 50's Lorraine. She's extremely active and driven and planning to Get What She Wants (in a way that is very scary, if you are Marty) . . . but at the same time she's clearly aware that she isn't supposed to be. A Good Fifties Girl is demure and passive. Lorraine isn't--but she's still trying to toe the line. I think constantly about the scene where she shows up at Doc's garage to be like "I followed you home . . . so that I can ask you to ask me to the dance." The girl can embrace borderline stalking but she draws the line at directly asking a boy out! She's exercising a lot of agency but views doing so as rebellious and subversive--and risky.
And I also want to talk about the whole "boy crazy" thing because like . . . society (especially in the fifties) tells women that the most important thing they can possibly do is find a good man and become wives and mothers, that this will define the success or failure of their entire lives (and given how many things were unavailable to single women at the time this is in many ways true) . . . and then relentlessly mocks and punishes anyone who actually takes an interest in pursuing this instead of just sitting back passively and waiting. She is trying to do what society says will make her happy! And even her desire for a white knight is very much based in the reality of her situation! She's getting sexually harassed at school and around town and she's doing exactly what she's supposed to and standing up for herself and saying no and fighting back--and this is not enough. She does need backup! Biff harasses her in the middle of a crowded cafeteria and Marty is the ONLY person who does anything! No fucking wonder she latches onto him as hard as she does! (There's. I promise this is related but there's a BttF parody musical on YouTube where when Strickland comes to break up the lunchroom fight he says, "Now, I can excuse sexual harassment, but LIGHT SHOVING?" and like it's a haha funny joke but also?? Yeah?? That IS how it works. The way Lorraine's being treated is so overlooked and normalized that the authority figure isn't going to step up the way he will when it's a physical altercation between two guys. Screams.) I wonder if part of the reason she stuck with George in the original timeline even though they didn't have a lot in common is that "I have a boyfriend" is a boundary that some people might actually take seriously whereas "I'm not interested" is not.
But. In general 50's Lorraine is very much about grabbing as much agency as she feels she's allowed to . . . and then Twin Pines Lorraine is what happens when she regrets the result of those choices (because while we don't see it, it's pretty obvious that in the original timeline she pursued George as aggressively as she pursues Marty in the new one), and so she decides to deny, not just her own agency, but female agency as a general concept. She leans so heavily on the idea that her relationship was "meant to be" because it absolves her of any culpability in creating a life she's unhappy with. She's rewritten her own past to view herself as a passive participant in something inevitable. (Exactly the view of womanhood that she was fighting so hard against in the 50's!) And she extends this idea of female passivity to the women around her: telling Linda that she should sit back and wait and a relationship will "just happen," actively resenting Jennifer for doing something as simple as calling Marty on the phone. It's a really interesting form of internalized misogyny, perpetuating these sexist ideas as almost a misguided form of self-defense.
And then for Lone Pine Lorraine this is completely flipped! She loves Jennifer for the same reason she disliked her in Twin Pines: because she reminds Lorraine of her younger self. And like . . . this is something of an extrapolation, but while obviously her husband and kids are still very important to her, it also feels like she has interests and friends and other things going on in her life, whereas part of the isolation of Twin Pines is that her life has shrunk down to the point where she's ONLY a wife and mother with nothing else to define herself by. And it also matters that in this timeline she has a partner that supports her, not just in the big dramatic moments (although also that), but you can easily see the dance as a catalyst for George actually learning to listen to her and stand up for her about smaller things as well. George McFly feminism arc. (I'm being slightly facetious but like. George starts off kind of shitty. The spying is actively Bad and I hope Marty chewed him out for it offscreen, but also his reaction to the harassment scene being "I think there's someone else she'd rather go with," implying that he sees what Biff is doing as like. Normal flirting that he expects to work. He doesn't GET it. Unsurprising because he is. A teenage boy in the fifties. But I do believe that saving Lorraine was something of a wakeup call and after that he listened to her about things that make her uncomfortable and gave her the support that she needed. Which would also give her a lot more freedom in this timeline because she has someone with more societal power who has her back!)
And then. Hell Valley.
If Lone Pine is the version of Lorraine who has the most freedom, the most opportunities to make decisions based on what she wants instead of What Is Expected Of A Woman, Hell Valley is the opposite. The things denying her agency in Twin Pines is largely societal forces (and herself); in Hell Valley she is actively being denied autonomy by her evil husband who functions as the personification of a bunch of sexist ideas.
She's been objectified to the point that she doesn't maintain control over her own body; Biff pressures her to get cosmetic surgeries so she can continue to look attractive to him because that's the only value he sees in her. Her physical appearance is entirely tailored to his preferences.
Biff's view of Lorraine is wife-as-possession. He treats her like a prize he's won and her kids like parasites. And he is NOT subtle about this. But Lorraine is still desperately clinging to the idea that she's wife-as-family. She calls Biff "your father" to Marty when he arrives, and talks about "our children" because she wants so so badly for this to be something different than what it is. It's especially terrible because this is a timeline where she got seventeen years of being happy with George, she knows what she's missing, and she keeps trying to force this new relationship into a similar mold even though Biff is openly contemptuous of her and especially her kids. It's been twelve years and she's still trying to pretend. To call back to that Lea Thompson quote: it's obvious where Biff thinks Lorraine fits on the virgin-mother-whore axis, while Lorraine is actively trying to centralize her motherhood partially because the kids really are that important to her and partially as a defense mechanism.
(And it's also such a bleak cautionary tale about how fragile women's stability can be when they're dependent on their husbands; Lorraine was happy with George and had a fair amount of freedom, but he was the only one with an income so when he died she was suddenly forced into a truly horrific situation because she had no other means to support herself and her three young children. Especially given that the Hell Valley universe is also worse in some broader political ways that mean there were probably even fewer social supports available than in real life 1973)
And god. It kills me the way that we see her lash out, the way she's clawing for autonomy when she threatens to leave . . . and then exactly how Biff levels all his axes of control against her. It's very interesting that his first tactic is consumerist (Who will pay for all your things? Who will take care of you?) and that doesn't work even though not being able to support herself is a very real concern. It's only when he threatens her kids that she folds. And then she immediately crumples and pivots to rationalizing Biff's behavior and blaming herself for her own abuse (in a way that is both HEARTBREAKING and also? surprisingly sympathetic and realistic for an 80's movie?). It's similar to the passivity we see in Twin Pines, but here we see exactly where it comes from. She doesn't have any way out so she has to pretend. It's the only way she can keep going. She has these flashes of rage but they're immediately snuffed out by despair and denial.
There's not a lot of talk about Lorraine and what there is tends to reduce her to "well she's Marty's mom" as if she's a boring character who doesn't have a lot going on. But even though most of her role in the movies has to do with her relationships with the various men in her life, those relationships are really interesting if you actually pay attention to them! She's not just (in the 80's) a wife and mother--she's someone who has a complex relationship with marriage and motherhood and the societal expectations surrounding them. She's not just (in the 50's) a vapid boy-crazy girl--she's doing her best to go after what she wants in a world that doesn't want her to (the fact that one of the things she wants turns out to be her time-traveling son from the future is unfortunate but not something she has any way of knowing!). She's stuck in a society that doesn't want women to be people, and she knows this, and because we see her across two different time periods and three different timelines you can watch how sometimes society grinds her down until she gives in and tries not to be a person. And also how, sometimes, she fights back.
#back to the future#bttf#lorraine baines mcfly#this is what i mean when i say that lorraine has SO many interesting things going on and i do not think that most of them were on purpose#but i'm here and i have a shovel.#anyway. i would kill for her.
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Roller Rink (Boss! William Afton x Fem! Reader) - FLUFF
Hello hello! I wanted to write something short and sweet to get back into the swing of things, so have a skating date with Will! Let me know what you think!
🪩song recommendation🪩
WARNINGS: Age gap (reader in her mid 20's, Will is in his 40's), not edited, the fluffiest of fluff, Reader and Will skate together at a work party
My Masterlist! ~ Tip Jar! ~ A03 Link!
💜 Thank you for reading! If you like my work consider supporting me by liking/reblogging/leaving a comment below! 💜
🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰
“Chrissy! Hey, hop in!” You call to the bubbly blonde who was already bouncing down the driveway, her skates slung over her shoulder. She piles into your Mercedes Wagon, vaulting over the middle row into the third row of seats that faced towards the back of the windshield.
“I can't believe your bosses rented out the entire Roll-A-Rama! They're so cool for letting you bring us!” One of them exclaims in the packed cab.
“Mr. Afton and Mr. Emily love to throw a good party.” You respond with a laugh. You pulled your sunglasses off the top of your head, shaking out your hair as it blew back in the breeze from the open window. You were on your way to Freddy’s annual summertime bash, your car filled with the excited screams of your friends.
“Are we going to get to see you flirting with your man?” Your copilot teases, nudging your shoulder.
You can't help but scoff and roll your eyes in response, “my man?”
“Girl, come on! You have been in love with this man, forever! How have you not made a move yet?” Someone else chimes in from the back seat.
“Because he's my boss?” You reply through a dumbfounded laugh.
“That just makes him even hotter.” You hear someone argue in response, a collective agreement from the rest of the car.
“You guys are ridiculous.” You laugh, shaking your head. “Just try not to embarrass me too badly.”
“No promises, if he's hot I'm gonna have to say something.”
You pull into the lot, recognizing a lot of your coworkers with their friends and family milling around in the parking lot, which appeared to be getting set up for a BBQ. “Everyone that’s drinking follow me to get wristbands!”
“Well, the party certainly has arrived.” Mr. Emily greets you all with a bright smile. “Ladies, how are we doing today?” He continues chatting casually as he checks all of your ID’s. He chuckles as he hands back the final license he had to check, “Hurricane has two r’s in it sweetheart.” She cringes as he catches her fake. “Are you driving home?” He asks quietly.
“No, sir.” She responds nervously. He wraps the purple wristband around her wrist.
“If anyone asks, you stole it.” She nods, the look of pure shock on her face making you chuckle. “Now, which one of you lovely ladies is driving tonight.” You raise your hand. “Alright, you know the drill. Go give your keys to Will, he's going to hold them to make sure you're good to drive before you leave.” There was a hurried, excited murmur through your group, a couple elbows being exchanged at drawing too much attention.
It wasn't hard to find him, the hulking mass of man lurking by the skate rental counter was a relatively difficult sight to miss. He straightens up when he sees you approaching, you hear one of your friends let out an impressed ‘wow’ as he rises to his full height. “Do us all a favor.” She whispers to you. “Climb that man like a damn tree.”
They all hung back while you went to go talk to him. You willingly surrendered your keys to him before he even had the chance to ask. “Planning on getting into a little bit of trouble tonight, are we?” He asks with a smirk.
“Me? Never.” You pout playfully at him. “I'm hurt that you would even think that, Mr. Afton.” Your heart races as you watch his silvery eyes flicker over your form.
“You're right, a good girl like you would never cause any trouble.” Your cheeks grow warm as you try to come up with a flirty response.
“The only trouble I can see myself getting into tonight is with you.” He raises an eyebrow at you, an almost impressed expression passing over his features.
“Is that right?” He chuckles, taking a couple steps closer to you. “Careful, little lady, you're going to end up with a lot of unwanted attention from me tonight.” He chuckles.
“Who says it's unwanted?” You shoot back, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth and letting your eyes wander over his strong, broad shoulders. “I'll see you later, Mr. Afton.”
“Oh, yes you will, rabbit.” He winks at you before you hurry back to your friends.
“You're seriously blind if you can't see how into you he is.” You're immediately pulled into the squealing mass of girls all fawning over how cute you would be with Will. You weren't going to lie, you were really hoping he was planning on following through on his promise to see you later.
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After grabbing some food your group headed back inside, laughing as you all laced up your skates. “Mr. Emily!” You call out to him as you see him strolling past with his wife.
“Hey honey, how are you? Everyone's having fun I hope?” He asks with a cheerful smile.
“Oh yeah, we're having a blast! I was just wondering if, um, if you've seen Mr. Afton?” Your cheeks grew warm as the question tumbled from your lips.
“Will? He's already skating.” He leans down to speak quietly. “Between you and me, I think he's looking for you.” He chuckles.
“Me?” You ask, earning a nod from Mr. Emily. “Why would he be looking for me?”
“I've heard you're quite the skater, young lady, and Will is looking for someone… well, someone who can keep up with him.” He chuckles. One of your friends elbows you slightly, arching her brow at you. You're practically pulled from the bench, getting dragged to the wall to look out over the rink floor. Sure enough, you found Will. He wore a pair of dark purple skates with bright yellow wheels, which easily stood out from his otherwise entirely black ensemble of jeans and a tight fitting T-shirt. He was skating in the middle of the rink, easily gliding around the center as he practiced a few simple warm up moves in time with the music that was playing.
“What are you waiting for? Go talk to him!” You're ushered out onto the floor, nervously cracking your knuckles as you rolled in his direction.
“Well, well, well, look who decided to join me.” He glides over to you, you thought your boss was a big man before, but seeing him wearing roller skates gave him a new, even more monstrous height.
“Mr. Emily was telling me you were looking for a skating partner…” You trail off with a coy smile.
“You think you're up for the task?” He rebuttals with a chuckle.
“With all due respect, Mr. Afton, I may be young but I'd like to think I'm pretty talented.” He offers you his hand with a gentle smile.
“Then why don't you prove it, rabbit.” Your hand slips into his. You both started off slow, just rolling next to each other at the start.
“I didn't think you'd be into something like this.” You remark casually.
“There's a lot of things you don't know about me, little lady.” He chuckles.
“I guess you're right, but there's a lot you don't know about me either.” Will’s hand comes to the small of your back as he carefully steps around you, avoiding your coworker that was sprawled out on the floor after slipping on his skates.
“I know a lot more than you think, rabbit.” You barely caught his response, the feeling of his hand burning against your skin.
“Oh yeah? Like what?” You challenge.
“Well…” he pauses for a second to think. You had found yourself drifting closer to him the longer you skated. Your awkward gliding side by side now turning more into a synchronized strut as you allow yourself to bump into his side. His hand slides across your back, wrapping securely around your waist as he keeps you tucked safely into his side. “I know that you don't like crowds, you prefer colder weather because you always get so, adorably excited whenever you can start wearing sweaters again… and don't think I haven't noticed your little Fizzy-Faz obsession.” He finishes with a laugh.
“What flavor-” You're cut off as he suddenly stops down to bring his face closer to yours.
“Cherry, because it always stains your lips the prettiest shade of pink.” He shoots you a playful smirk, noticing your flustered expression. You perk up when the music changes, Will glances at you curiously.
“I love this song!” You exclaim giddily. One of your friends whips past you, spinning and dancing along to the beat.
“You want to go join your friends?” He asks, you could hear the twinge of disappointment in his voice.
“If it’s all the same to you Mr. Afton… I’d like to stay here with you.” A smile slowly stretches across his features.
“You can call me Will, sweetheart.” He responds with a chuckle. “And I’d love to have a pretty little thing like you on my arm all night.”
“Dance with me, then.” You insist with a coy smile.
“Don't have to tell me twice.” He smiles. He maneuvers himself behind you, his hands coming to rest on the curves of your waist as he allows you to take the lead. He follows you closely through some of your favorite moves, “guess you weren't all talk, were you, baby?” You smile, taking his hand in yours.
“What can I say? I found a pretty good partner.” He chuckles at your response. You squeal as he tightens his grip around your waist, pressing you into his side as he effortlessly lifts you from the ground, spinning with you in his arms. You skated with Will for hours, enjoying some intimate small talk as he wrapped you up in his arms, his scruffy cheek pressed to yours as he leaned down to whisper compliments in your ear, each one leaving you more flustered than the last. He taught you a few more complicated moves he had learned over his skating career, both of you lagging as you fell into him more often than you would care to admit. But, every time Will was there to catch you in a strong embrace. Every so often you would catch sight of your friends, all of them ecstatic that you had managed to snag some alone time with the man that seemed to occupy your every thought. Your cheeks would grow warm as they would blow kisses at the two of you, one even screaming “get it girl!” As you rolled past, Will chuckled at the passing comment.
“It almost seems like they were expecting this to happen.” He says, shooting you a knowing smirk. Your heart pounded in your chest as you glanced up at him. It was the first time tonight you had really stopped to acknowledge how handsome he looked tonight. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled down at you, his steely gray eyes almost seemed to shimmer under the neon roller rink lights. His strong arms stayed wrapped around your waist, muscles tensing under the delicate touch of your fingers. The musky smell of his cologne mixed with the subtle scent of cigarettes and machine oil clouded your thoughts.
“Will, I…” you swallow thickly, your mouth dry as you try to push out the confession you had been hiding for so long.
“Alright, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!” You both stumble slightly as the lights suddenly flash on, Will catching himself on the wall, pulling you flush against his chest to keep you upright.
“You okay?” The concern in his tone made your chest tighten.
“Yeah, thanks to you.” He scoops you up in his arms, carrying you bridal style as he skates towards the edge of the rink.
“Would you…” he sucks in a deep breath. “Would you like to join me for a coffee or something?” You can't help but smile at his awkward invitation. “Call me selfish, but I'm just not ready to say goodnight to you yet.”
“I would love to. However, I'm the designated driver for whichever of my girls didn't get picked up by one of your horndog chefs.” You explain with a chuckle. He carefully sets you down on the neon star covered carpet, “unfortunately, it would have to be some other time.”
“I could always help you get everyone home.” He offers quietly.
“If you don't mind being in a car full of drunk party girls.” You giggle.
“Spending time with you is worth it.” He slings a heavy arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side as you head to take off your skates.
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“You are huge!” Chrissy drunkenly slurs as Will slides into the driver's seat of his car. You attempt to hide your embarrassed expression, dropping your face into your hands with a laugh, Will simply chuckles at the outburst.
“Where am I headed, kiddo?” Will asks, glancing at her in the rearview mirror. She slurs out her address, Will seemingly having caught enough of it to know where he was heading. Chrissy sits forward, bringing her face next to yours in an attempt to whisper something, her lack of volume control at the moment made her attempt less than successful.
“He's seriously your boss?” You nod in response. “He's fucking hot… no wonder you want to–” You quickly clamp your hand over her mouth.
“Chrissy, you're drunk.” You laugh trying to quickly snap her off the subject.
“You're drunk!” She responds when she finally manages to push your palm away from her face. “I'm just saying, if she doesn't let you bring her home, I'm available!”
“Chrissy!” You exclaim in horror. Will snorts out a laugh at her statement.
When you finally drop her off your mind was absolutely reeling, not knowing what Will would have to say to you after listening to your friends drunk ramblings. “She's safely inside, her sister looked terrified of me.” He jokes.
“Well, it's not every day you have an incredibly handsome wall of man dropping off your drunk sister, I guess.” You froze after you registered what you had said. “I am so sorry–”
“So, you think I'm handsome?” You were nervous to look at him at first, not sure how that question was supposed to be interpreted. Your shoulders soften as you meet Will’s gentle gaze. You nod apprehensively, still too nervous to reiterate that fact out loud. “Well, if it's any consolation, rabbit…” He slides closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he pulls you into his side. He gently takes your chin between his fingers, not allowing you to look away. “I think you're very, very pretty.” He growls seductively. Your eyes flutter shut as his lips come to rest against yours. Kissing Will was a lot different than how you had imagined it. He was surprisingly gentle with you, as if you were made of glass. His fingers gently kneaded against your plush waist, his other hand leaving your chin in order to cradle your cheek in his palm, his strong fingers lacing their way into your hair. You kissed him until your lungs burned, so caught up in him that you had neglected to breathe.
It takes you a moment to regain yourself. Your eyes hazy, pupils blown, Will’s chest filled with a sense of pride at the sight. “Will?”
“Yes, bunny?”
“Did you still want to grab that coffee?”
His smile widens in response, “of course, pretty girl. Anything if it means getting to spend more time with you.”
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Tag List: @vile-moss @yellowbunnydreams @spookyghostjelly @zoey5252 @loudchaosking @weirdoartist21 @residentevilbeast @lokanda @emmbny @yukkkiki @dij-ology @maria-moll @astinkerofarat (if you would like to be added or removed from tag List please let me know!)
#fnaf#william afton#fnaf movie#five nights at freddy's#springtrap#steve raglan#william afton x reader#fnaf william afton#william afton fnaf#william afton fluff#x reader#fnaf au#fluff#fnaf fluff#x reader fluff#william afton x reader fluff
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oop srry abt that! #7 from the soft prompt list w joshua
no worries bb! thank you for requesting 💜 hopefully you will like it!
fluff prompt: 'your eyes are like doves, my darling.'
'and before the chorus starts we have to move to the side with our right leg,' you instruct, showing the move and then turning to the mirror.
joshua looks entirely focused on you, nodding once you quirk an eyebrow at him. 'got it.'
'i know it looks a bit confusing, but this dance is not a hard one, i promise.' you smile, wanting to make him more comfortable. dancing is like breathing to you and sharing this with joshua is precious. 'do you want to start from the beginning or from last two moves?'
your endless patience and gentleness is one of the traits that made joshua fall in love with you at the first place; seeing them so clearly now makes it a bit hard to pay attention to anything else. he smiles, nodding. 'from the start.'
you move towards him, standing in front of him with raised arms. joshua carefully takes needed position and when you start counting, he loses his step, getting lost admiring you.
'oh josh, was i too fast? i'm sorry.' you come back to your default position. 'from the start?'
'no, it's all on me.' joshua shakes his head, shy. 'your eyes are like doves, darling. i just got distracted.'
you blush, avoiding his gaze. 'oh. thank you.'
'you're welcome.' joshua says, smiling. 'hard to focus when the teacher is so beautiful.'
you blush so prettily and pink that intensifies on your cheeks makes him smile so wide that his cheeks hurt. 'joshua,' you chastise him gently. 'focus.'
'it's your fault for being so distracting,' joshua protests, grinning. but then he nods seriously. 'i will try, sorry. i will ignore your prettiness for this dance lesson sake.'
joshua tries his best to concentrate for the rest of the lesson, but he can tell that you are distracted too, messing up some steps. he grins and lets it all slide, staring at your pretty eyes with a dreamy smile on his lips.
a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini
#seventeen imagine#seventeen fluff#seventeen reaction#seventeen joshua#joshua imagine#joshua hong seventeen#svt joshua x reader#svt joshua#hong jisoo#hong jisoo x reader#hong jisoo fluff#seventeen hong jisoo#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#seventeen prompt
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911 season 8B opening idea...
Buck helps Eddie pack up his stuff. They pack boxes, put away the kitchen supplies, the Playstation, the photos. And you can see they're both hurting. After the last box is closed, only the furniture still stands. "That's for the moving company," Eddie says and it's the first words we hear in the one minute packing montage.
They sit down on the couch and look ahead at the black TV screen. You see their reflections in it.
"I'm gonna - gonna miss that couch," Buck mutters.
"I'm gonna -" Eddie stops. He brings his hand up to his chest and clenches his jaw. Takes a deep breath to fight down the upcoming anxiety attack. "I'm gonna miss your lasagna."
The silence is heavy. Somewhere in the background, a clock is ticking. The phone rings.
They hear about Maddie.
----
In the hospital, Buck waits outside Maddie's room. Eddie's next to him, a deja-vu of the horrible day when Chim was attacked and Maddie abducted.
"I hate that you're leaving," Buck says. "But I get it. You don't wanna miss out and you gotta make sure he's safe. I get it. You're all he's got."
And Eddie just looks at him, but Buck is staring straight ahead and doesn't see the tears in Eddie's eyes.
----
"I gotta go or I'll miss my flight."
"I can drive you."
"It's okay. Stay with Maddie."
They hug.
"Just - just call me when you get there, okay?"
Eddie nods, chin still resting on Buck's shoulder.
----
Buck sits on the left of Maddie's bed, Chim's on the right, and Maddie exchanges one look with her husband and takes Buck's hand.
"How are you holding up Evan?"
"Don't worry about me."
"But I do. We do."
Buck sighs and rubs his face. It's all a bit much all at once. People keep leaving him. And he can't change it. He couldn't reach Tommy. He didn't try to change Eddie's mind. All he can ever do is watch as they go.
He shows her all the messages he sent to Tommy, marked as read.
"What if the universe is trying to tell me I'm just meant to stay alone?"
Maddie looks at Chim again, then back at Buck.
"That's not your fate. Evan, I know you. You never give up. If you have someone worth fighting for, you do that. You fight."
"You know," Chim adds, "a man barely wiser than yourself once told me that tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. So if you love him, tell him."
----
"Listen, I know you don't wanna hear it but I - I hate this. I just want - I don't know. God, I don't know what I want but I know it's not this. Please, just - just call me back."
---
Buck is in his car, speeding down the street way too fast considering the heavy rain. He sees sirens in the distance and a traffic jam sign. He gets closer. There's a car right at the exit of the highway. It's flipped onto the back, the driver must have hit the brakes too hard and lost control.
Buck passes the scene. He turns his head, trying to recognize any of the firefighters huddled around the car. That's when his eyes catch the scratch at the door of the overturned vehicle. He remembers the day it got there.
He slams the brakes.
----
Inside the car, a phone is lying with a cracked screen. A firefighter takes it.
"Hurry up!" someone yells.
"Someone get me a tourniquet!" another one shouts.
The unnamed firefighter looks down onto the phone screen. The screen is frozen.
1 voice mail from: Buck
----
"Sir, you cannot be here."
"No. No, I - I gotta - I gotta be there."
He points his shaky finger at the ambulance.
"Do you know that man?"
Buck can't speak.
Not far away, the sign for LAX stands tall above the highway. It would have been just one more exit.
----
The house is South Bedford Street is vacant and silent. The old clock is still on the wall, but it stands still. But there's still a light on in the living room. The only thing it illuminates is a couch.
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Did I give O'Connor a phobia that I have... Yes do I care, no! Having perfect characters is so boring! I'm currently cleaning out my drafts I promise I'll start writing my story soon!
O'Connor has never liked riding in cars, very specifically cars. She can handle being on a boat going at top speed, she can handle being in a helicopter making evasion maneuvers, hell shes loved the few times she's driven a motorcycle or ATV. But for whatever reason she hates being in cars, a small part of her knows it is trauma from being in the car crash that killed her mother and crippled her father. But even before the accident she hated being in those vehicles.
Price learned early on into his deployment with Sergeant O'Connor not to put her behind the wheel or near the front. He sees how she clams up, trying her best not to shake like a leaf. She'll never admit it nor argue against driving when told too. Hell there's been a few times where her twitchiness behind the wheel has saved his and his team's asses. That doesn't mean he won't do his damnedest to keep her in the back away from the windows.
Ghost notices his new Captain is a bit nervous, it radiates off her in waves. She was fine up until they had to get into the dingy little pickup, he noticed her hesitation to drive like a deer ready to run at the faintest sound. She only calmed a little when Ghost got into the driver's seat, but her leg is bouncing so hard she might punch a hole through the rusty bottom of the truck. And when he asked if something was wrong, she was short and clipped. The polar opposite of how she interacted with him this entire mission, it's their first time on the field together. It's just them and yet she's never once steamed rolled over him like all his other captains have... Wel not Price but everyone else. No instead she asked for his opinion on every major decision and she actually listens to his suggestions adding to them or just going with them. He's worried but it soon disappears as they reach their stop, he watches her basically bolt out of the truck as soon as it stops. And only then does it dawn on him why the sudden change and he relaxes again.
Gaz is an excellent driver, he knows this, it's a point of pride for him. So he's a bit miffed when he notices the doctor gripping the oh-shit handle for dear life as he speeds through snowy hills of middle of nowhere Canada. He's used to seeing people smiling and enjoying themselves when he drives like this. There's no danger chasing after to warrant this kind of stress from O'Connor but it's there. He slows a bit much to the disappointment of himself and Roach who sat in the back. He watches as O'Connor calms a bit from the corner of his eye and he feels a little hurt. It isn't until he watches her when someone else is driving does it click, it's not just him... Though his speed didn't seem to help.
Roach finds it very odd that at every chance she gets O'Connor sits in the back seats, even though she would be far more comfortable in the front. It baffles him every time she gives the seat to someone else including himself but he's never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. It isn't until Soap and Gaz spell it out to him does he notice the panic she holds in her body even in the back seats. He takes it upon himself to distract the doctor while in transit. He's had varying degrees of success but he's noticed a pattern. When O'Connor can't see the road she's calmer, prefers to not have a window to see outside. He does his best to help her on the more stressful drives, it's only fair she's helped him with a million of his own fears.
Soap is a smart man, he's also observant, despite what people think. So he picks up on O'Connor's tension when she's riding with himself, Ghost, Alejandro, and Rudy through Las Almas. At first he thought it was due to being in a car full of men but he quickly wrote that off as soon as they met the rest of Alejandro's team. Her tension was slow to creep in when they're driving and it's only when they're in the cars. He thought it was interesting how well she handled everything else but as soon as they started driving it was tension. He also knows she calms a bit when they speak gaelic, much to the chagrin of their traveling companions. But if it helped his friend calm down then he'll deal with the confused stares.
The boys all agree behind O'Connor's back that if given the option they won't drive, if they have to she gets the middle seat and either Roach or Soap are to sit next to her. Price feels a bit of fatherly pride when they bring it up to him, knowing they're willing to help O'Connor the best they can without being told outright to do so.
#captain john price#gary roach sanderson#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty#cod soap#cod roach#cod ghost#cod 141#cod gaz#cod price#cod mwii#codmw#cod#modern warfare#call of duty mw2#task force 141#tf 141#cod oc#cod original character#oc
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You can't hurt me
part 2 (a)
a/n: i love angst. this version is the depressing one but its good i promise 🙏🏻
warnings: angst, mentions of sh, mentions of suicide, mentions of eds,
part 1
enjoy ★
She sat with him, bandaging his wrist. Slash stayed quiet. He hadn't shown his face in public since breaking up with Axl.
His fake girlfriend, Natalie, came over after school to talk to him. He hadn't told her about their breakup yet. She tapes his bandage and cups his face, "you look awful... when was the last time you slept?" He shrugs.
She sighs, "wanna tell me what happened?"
He nods slowly, then tells her everything, not leaving any detail out. "I fucked up, I mean I really fucked up, Nat. Bad." She wraps her arms around him tightly, "I'm sorry, honey. I'm so sorry this happened. I'm so sorry it's so difficult. It shouldn't have to be this difficult."
He felt safe with her. They had known each other since they were little kids. She was the first person he came out to, resulting in her doing the same and leading to their fake relationship.
He sighs. "Am I an asshole?" She looks up at him, "what makes you think that?" He looks down and frowns, "I'm the one who broke up with Ax... Because I said us being together is wrong." His voice shakes. "Well, do you really believe that?" She asks cautiously, knowing how vulnerable he was already feeling.
He shrugs, "I...I don't know."
Nat sighs, "what makes you think it's wrong?" Slash looks at her. For a long time. Then he comes up with an answer.
"Everyone hates me. They judged me before for having long hair, and for being black, and for dressing the way I do, and for the few times someone saw me with red nails. They judged me. But they tolerated me. They talked to me in class. I got invited to parties. But now they hate me. They look at me with pure disgust. They write shit all over my locker. They write death threats and put them in my locker. They tell me I should end it. The day I broke up with Ax, I was assaulted. I was walking home alone, and these two guys from the football team started attacking me. And they weren't stopping. They were actually going to kill me for the simple reason that I love a man. I love him so much, and I know love is hard, and it takes patience. But I don't want to live my life hiding from people who might actually try to beat me to death because of who I love. That's not fair."
She frowns. "Oh baby, I'm sorry..." Slash shrugs. "I guess this is just how it has to be..."
A few weeks go by. With the help of Natalie, Slash felt comfortable enough to start coming back to school. He dreaded seeing Axl. He was surprised when the entire day had passed and Axl was nowhere to be found.
He shrugged it off and went to find Nat. She was waiting for him outside the school with a big goofy grin on her face. He scrunches his face up, "why are you so happy?"
She grins up at him, "I have a date."
His eyes widen, "a date!? With who!?" She smiles, "she's new here. She's called Michelle. She's super cool, and she's really pretty and -" Slash interrupts her, "I get it you little lesbian." She giggles. She was so excited. He smiles. This was nice. He was happy for her.
The two of them start walking away from the school. Nat looks up at him, "you hungry?" Slash looks down at her, "yeah, I didn't eat lunch," she frowns, "why not?" "Fish."
She nods. She knew there was a time when he had a difficult relationship with food, but this was just him hating any kind of food that came from the ocean. "Well, my dad said we can go to the diner and get lunch and dinner whenever we want," he looks down, "yeah? How much?" She rolls her eyes, "it's free, dumbass." His eyes light up.
The diner wasn't far, and the walk there only built their appetite. They were walking towards the diner, Nat walked a little bit ahead of Slash before she realised he had stopped.
She turned back to look at him, "what's wrong?" He stayed silent. Just kept staring at whatever it was he was so interested in. She looks over to see what he was staring at, and then her face drops, "oh..."
Axl.
With another man.
#guns n roses#slash gnr#saul hudson#gnr fanfiction#guns n roses fanfic#slash fic#axl rose#axl rose fanfiction#axl gnr#slaxl#axl fic#slash x reader#gnr x reader#guns n roses x reader
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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Ok a lil bit of salt under the cut, plus some extras
Remember when Corypheus shows up and drops this absolute banger of a line:
and then turns around and proceeds to be the most underwhelming and boring villain ever? You had something here, Bioware, and you squandered it. It's like reading SJM all over again.
Anyways, In Your Heart Shall Burn is actually probably my favorite quest from the game. I find it genuinely fun and engaging. I wish the rest of the game lived up to the hype it set up.
#ash plays dai#oc: amaris lavellan#dragon age critical#comparison that might get me kicked out of the fandom 😂#but i stand by it. they're both in the realm of “there's good ideas here but man the writing doesn't live up to it”#though a point in da's favor is i do like parts of the games. i do like a lot of the characters. and obv i love my ocs.#i can't say that about the other thing#i promise i'm trying to tone down the salt but. it's hard.#anyways amaris looks so uncomfortable during the dawn will come#ari was in the back of my mind going “man if galfrey had sung to me when she named me knight-commander i would have died”#one day i might write a crossover of all my ocs just for fun. because i can just imagine the conversations they'd have with each other.#now off to try to make my hawke from memory
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I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS
#this has been happening for like TWO YEARS BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TRYING.#my usual art motivation (my webcomic idea) has been put on hold for a bit and because of that i forgort... everything#my will to draw specifically#but in my defense i have been writing k*arlach / oc indulgences and i've been VERY focused on finishing it#i also got a marketing manager (my friend <3) to help with advertising my comms and stuff so uh... look forward 2 that#i might need to start posting all of my art on a sideblog so she doesn't have to log into my main though#so there might be some changes#but i promise i want to do art!!!! but there's always something to do first and then months pass :(#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...#(ended up being cancerous actually </3 but because it's skin stuff it was easy to remove)#(but that really took the piss out of me for most of july... not to mention that ffxiv released a new expansion and i have been...#having a good time with my new friends doing content and stuff!) i also made a friend irl after like 3-4 years of total isolation#we feed ants and watch them move around together and comment on their behaviour patterns...#but like when i say this takes literal hours.#we just sit out there and talk about random shit and watch ants walk across the floor. both of us hate ants btw.#like we don't like having them ON us so it's a bit like playing with fire.#but anyways yeah i've also been really low energy recently too bc of the heat and burnout from college...#but the good news is that i'm transferring in fall to a much more relaxing college & courseload!#i'm hoping it'll stop me from feeling so... awful ?? i guess ??#like i was taking classes i didn't need to that were really difficult & punishing#not to mention extremely boring & hard to pay attention to when dealing with literally anything. i did not want to be there.#my next college is much more interest-oriented so i will finally be able to take classes i want to and learn from them...!#and then maybe i will feel a bit more in control of my life / more encouraged to draw#anyways thank u for reading my ramble. hoping it all comes together soon.#i need to do a lot of work but most of it is so i can sell commissions again#but once the karlach fic is done we're so back on the webcomic train !!!!!!!!
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Psst. Just wanted to let you know that you're cool and I hope you have a really nice day today! You seem to be Goin Through It™ and I just wanted to let you know that we (your followers) like you no matter the quantity of stuff you're able to make at any given time (though we most certainly do like what you make, but that's not why most of us stay, I believe); you're very funny and have insightful opinions about writing, and you're always super nice when I stop by to say hi! Please remember to be kind to your mind and heart this upcoming Spring. I hope The Delights come into your life in leaps and bounds, and that you'll receive good news soon!!! <33
ooh...ohh.h.....th.ank you for the kind words........
#ohhhh i fought long and hard to not just. keep this in my inbox so i could stare at it for days#when i first read this my initial reaction was ''oh god is it that obvious''#''am i like crashing and burning in real time on this blog. live on tv''#which..FAIR YEAH LMAO#to be 100% transparent here i actually haven't been on this blog all day BECAUSE i was having a day where I was just like.#ahaha my shit Sucks and everybody's just humoring me#comparison kills and i have been stabbing myself like its the ides of march lately#and the fact that i haven't put anything new out is half because of that i'm sure#like the mindset of ''if i post nothing at all then i can't compare it to [insert other authors here]''#WHICH IS SOOOO STUPID I KNOW I KNOW#self sabotage is my middle name its a bad habit i'm fighting daily but it's HARD#this has just turned into a Whining Session oh no#there's a reason i moved all of this to tags lmao#ANYWAY ANYWAY. GENUINELY I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU#from the bottom of my heart asks like these keep me from going over the deep end#it amazes me each and every day that so many of you choose not only to follow me but to STAY despite my general shenanigans and thinly veil#like i'll have days (like today) where i'm on the floor kicking and screaming over NOTHING and y'all just sit back and wait for me to get m#and it makes me so genuinely soft. the patience and kindness you show me#i will try my HARDEST to be kind to my mind and heart i promise. I promise.#if not for myself than for everyone out there continuously showing their support for me despite The Horrors#and I hope you're right i hope The Delights are somewhere in view soon enough#lord knows we could all use 'em#thank you again#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#edit: oh tumblr cut off like half of these paragraphs#thats probably for the best. you can just guess what i said LMAO
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Hello what happened to home is where Freddy is ? Was it cancelled? If not that’s wonderful if yes thank you for everything
Hello there
So well, i can understand why you think so, but no it isn't cancelled, i just haven't been able to work on it recently unfortunately. I plan to bring it back soon, but things have been hard irl
It will probably be a while until i can fully get back on it, i plan on making a few pages in advance before i start posting it again
#i dont wanna get into too much details bc I'm honestly embarrassed about it#but i have been struggling financially so I've been trying to work on my art for commissions behind the scenes#and also trying to see if i can get a job#but school has made things hard for me to do that#so i put the comic on a hold#and idk when it will be back#but i promise it will#for now any sort of support for the comic is appreciated#comments or asks about it in he meantime would be nice#otherwise you just have to be really patient with me 😅#cakes asks#ask box#anon ask#home is where freddy is
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ouhghgh , , , reached the point where my throat is in so much pain i can't sleep, even with cough drops , , , , i keep waking up every hour coughing so hard i start to throw up by the end , , , , it looks like my fever might finally be going down (original peak of 100.9, now down to 98.8) but god , , , , the agony , , , , , ,
#i gotta sleep too because i have a mandatory orientation at 9am tomorrow#(online conference thank god)#i'm just. frustrated and feeling helpless.#laid into my brother a bit over discord when he gave me a non-apology when i told him to keep this whole mess in mind#next time he plans on leaving his mask at home#i want to feel better soon ; ; ; ;#i have work i need to do and notes i need to take and i miss my partner a lot ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;#i'm constantly thinking about how much of my room is just coated in covid particles at this point#and how hard it'll be to disinfect all of it when it comes time to end quarantine ; ; ;#i'm trying to cover my coughs but when i'm literally choking to the point that i'm practically retching into my trash can it's. hard;;;#ughghg ; ; ;#i'm frustrated i'm frustrated i'm frustrated ; ; ;#i want to go back in time and yell at my brother a hundred different times for all the stupid selfish ways he's been so careless#“ough this has just never happened before even during all the other times i've gone without a mask :(((”#“it seems my bad luck and poor immune system just got the better of me :(((”#just say you've gotten bold and careless and that this was just one huge risk in a long string of risks you've been taking since day one#you figured you were immune to consequences and now i'm paying the toll#couldn't even get him to promise to take a mask with him everywhere from now on until i laid into him for several minutes . . .#. . .
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