#I promise I'm trying to get back into it but it's just hard when I fall off for months at a time

[bsturnzmtts]

Closer to you

From older bf! Matt x sweetheart! Reader

Continuation of Needy

Contains/warnings: making out, pet names, blow job, innocent reader, cum swallowing.

Matt had been gone for almost a week. He and his brothers were in Milan for the Prada fashion show, an incredible opportunity they couldn’t turn down. You were happy for him, but being apart from him was harder than you thought it would be. Every time he could, you’d FaceTime or exchange texts, but it wasn’t the same. You missed the way he’d make you laugh and the way his touch would make you feel.

As you sat in your room one evening, thinking about how much you missed him. The way he’d touch you so gently, never pushing you when you weren’t ready. How he respected your boundaries, showing nothing but patience, understanding, and care.

And now, as you think about the times he made you feel good, you realized something… you wanted to make him feel just as good. You wanted to return the favor.

But how?

Matt finally walks through the door after almost a week away. You rush to him, throwing your arms around his neck as he pulls you into a tight hug.

“I missed you so much,” you whisper, feeling his warmth flood through you.

“Missed you more,” Matt says, his voice muffled against your hair. He pulls back to look at you, his eyes filled with affection. “It was so weird being away from you.”

You smile, not sure how to explain the emptiness you felt without him. “It was the same for me.”

He cups your cheek gently, his thumb brushing over your skin. "I'm really glad to be back," he says, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “How was your week?”

“It was fine, I just missed you a lot.” You say as you both go to the couch.

Matt sits down on the couch, pulling you down next to him. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, holding you close. "I'm sorry it was so long. I promise to make it up to you." He gives you a small smile, his eyes scanning your face. “You know what I really missed?” He asks with a smirk.

“What?” You ask with a little chuckle.

“This.” Matt says before pressing a firm kiss to your lips. He pulls back after a few seconds, his eyes filled with desire. “I missed kissing you. I missed holding you. I missed everything about you.” He says honestly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek again.

You can’t help but smile and blush with his words. “Me too.” You look down, nervously twisting your fingers in your lap. “I’ve been thinking… about us.”

Matt's eyebrows furrow slightly as he notices your nervousness. He gently takes your hand, stilling the anxious twisting of your fingers. "What about us?" he asks softly, his eyes searching for yours. “Is everything okay? You can tell me anything, you know that."

You look down at your hands, your voice trembling slightly as you try to find the right words. “I… I just… I’ve been thinking about… what you’ve done for me,” you start, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “And, um, I want to make you feel good too. But, I—I don’t know how to…” You trail off, feeling embarrassed by how hard it is to get the words out.

Matt squeezes your hand reassuringly, a gentle smile spreading across his face as he realizes what you're trying to say. "Hey, look at me," he says softly, waiting until your eyes meet his. "You don't need to do anything. I don’t want you to feel like you have to give me something in return, okay?"

You take a shaky breath, finally meeting his gaze. “I want to,” you say softly. “I want to make you feel good too. I just… don’t know how.” Your voice trembles, but the sincerity in your words is clear.

Matt swallows hard, touched by your honesty. He knows you're inexperienced, and your innocence is one of the things he finds most attractive. He cups your cheek again, his thumb brushing your jaw. “Are you sure sweetheart?”

You nod shyly.

A slow smile spreads across Matt's face, his eyes lighting up with warmth and affection. "Alright," he says softly, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. "Let's take this slow, okay? I'll guide you through it, step by step."

“Okay…” you say. Then he kisses you.

The kiss starts soft and tender, Matt taking his time to savor your lips. Gradually, it deepens into something more passionate, his fingers threading gently into your hair. The thought of you wanting to make him feel good went right to the bulge in his pants.

Your innocent kiss makes his body react. He pulls back slightly to see your face, your slightly swollen lips from his kiss, your cheeks flushed. He realizes that teaching you how to pleasure him might test his self-control. “You're killing me here," he whispers against your lips. "Such sweet innocence, and you want to do this..." His voice is a low rasp, showing how much you're affecting him.

You whimper slightly as the kiss deepens, unconsciously pressing your body closer to his.

Matt groans quietly, your body pressing against his making his jeans painfully tight. He hardens even more, realizing you have no idea what you're doing to him. He feels your innocent whimper vibrate against his chest, making his jeans suddenly too tight. "Damn," He takes your hand and puts it right on top of his boner. “Look at what you do to me sweetheart.”

Your eyes widen and you let out a small gasp. You look down at his pants and feel even more flustered.

"You feel what you're doing to me?" he asks in a husky whisper, “That's how hard you've made me." his hips subtly moving against your hand. "You're driving me crazy with those innocent kisses and those sweet whimpers..." He gently covers your hand with his, guiding it to apply slight pressure through his jeans.

You feel his dick twitch underneath the fabrics, and his hand guides you to palm him.

He lets out a shuddering breath as you palm his cock, feeling it twitch eagerly under your tentative touch. Matt's voice comes out strained, "Fuck, you're doing that so perfectly..." He watches your face intently. Your cheeks are bright red, eyes wide, small hand palming his length through his jeans. He swallows hard. Your innocence is turning him on like never before. “Unzip my pants.” He commands.

You get even more nervous. Your hands move to the zipper of his pants and slowly unzip them.

Matt inhales sharply as you hesitantly unzip his jeans, his cock straining uncomfortably against the fabric of his boxer briefs now that the barrier is lowered. "You're doing so well sweetheart, pull my pants down.”

You follow his command and pull down his pants, letting you see now more clearly his erection through his boxers.

Matt's eyes lock onto yours as you gaze at his erect cock through his boxers. He looks absolutely delicious, the bulge prominent and throbbing slightly. "Now, pull my boxers down too," he says, his voice thick with desire.

You do as he tells you. You pull his boxers down freeing his hard cock. You gasp as you see it.

His erection springs free, thick and long, the tip glistening with pre-cum. He's not small, not by any means, and he can see the shock in your wide eyes.

“Wh- what do I do now?” You ask nervously.

He wraps his fingers around your wrist, pulling your hand towards his erection, "Touch it," he instructs, his eyes darkening. "Wrap your small hand around it." He guides your hand to his thick length. “Stroke it.”

You hand moves slowly up and down stroking on his cock.

He hisses in pleasure watching your small hand move up and down his long length. "God yes," His hips buck slightly meeting your downward stroke. He watches your chest rise and fall quickly, your cheeks bright red. "Grip harder," He demands softly. Your small hand tightens around his shaft. He groans deeply, his head falling back as you grip him tighter, your small hand struggling to fit around his thick girth. "Fuck," He pants, "You're so innocent, yet you're touching me like this."

“Am I doing it okay?” You ask shyly.

He looks back at you, his eyes burning with desire. "You're doing amazing," He says, his voice husky. “But you want to know what you can do make me feel even better?”

“What?”

“Get on your knees for me.” Matt instructs, his voice low and gravelly.

You silently obey and you get on your knees in front of him.

He watches you get on your knees, his heart racing at the sight. "Good girl," He praises, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek. With his other hand, he guides his thick, leaking cock towards your small face. "Open your mouth." He commands, his voice thick with desire.

You open your mouth slightly as you look at him.

He slowly guides his thick, throbbing erection towards your small, parted lips. He can feel your warm breath on his sensitive tip. "Wrap your lips around it," He instructs softly, his hips shifting slightly to bring himself closer to your face.

You, unsure of what you’re doing, lick his tip and then wrap your lips around him.

A low groan escapes his lips as he feels your small mouth wrap around him. "Fuck yes," He hisses, his fingers threading through your hair. He starts to slowly thrust into your mouth, being mindful of your limited experience. "Suck," He instructs, his voice strained.

You start sucking his tip, you can feel the taste of his pre cum.

He groans loudly, his hips picking up pace as he thrusts deeper into your mouth. "Shit, your mouth feels so fucking good," He praises, his fingers tightening in your hair. He can feel your small tongue swirling around his tip as you suck, and it's driving him wild.

“Mmh hmhh” You can feel yourself gagging a bit as he pushes deeper.

He immediately pulls back, realizing he's gone too deep. "Easy, fuck," He pants, caressing your cheek gently as you catch your breath. "You're doing great. I got carried away. Let’s go slower, okay? Take what you can and the rest stroke it with your hand.”

You nod and go back to sucking his tip and going a bit further, but it’s not enough to take all of it so your hand goes to stroke what’s left.

He watches as you try to take more of him into your small mouth, his hips hitching up to meet your mouth. He can feel your tiny hand wrapping around the base of his thick length, stroking what your mouth can't reach. "Good girl,"

He can feel your tiny mouth working hard to take more of him, your small hand stroking the rest. He's getting closer to the edge, his hips bucking slightly to meet your mouth. "You can try to take a little more," He encourages, his fingers carding through your hair gently.

“Hmm mmhh”

He watches as you try again, taking another inch into your mouth. You hum softly, making his length throb. Your small hand continues to stroke the rest of his length tightly. He groans, "Baby, you're doing too good at this." He warns softly, his hips moving in small thrusts.

You moan around his length. You’re happy you can make him feel good.

"Fuck..." He hisses, his hand tightening in your hair. The vibration of your moan against his cock almost pushes him over the edge. "Sweetheart..." He warns again, voice shaking slightly. "I'm gonna... fuck… I’m gonna cum." He trails off, his muscles tensing.

With a loud groan, he comes undone. He spills his release into your small mouth, his hips jerking as he fills you with his hot, sticky cum. "Swallow it," He pants, his voice hoarse from pleasure.

You get confused when a thick liquid is released into your mouth, it tastes a bit salty. But you do as he says and you swallow it.

"God..." He breathes out roughly, still trembling from his orgasm. He carefully pulls back, his softening cock sliding out of your mouth. He gently wipes a small drop of cum from your lip with his thumb. "Look at you, being such a good girl..."

“D- did I do it well?” You ask nervously.

He chuckles softly, his eyes sparkling with satisfaction and affection. "You did amazingly well," He praises, stroking your cheek gently. "Who knew such a shy thing could give such incredible head?" He teases playfully, his voice warm.

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[squidgamewriter00]

omg hii do you think you could do a jun ho x reader where she like overworks herself at her job and ends up passing out and like Jun Ho like goes full worried mode but then there’s fluff at the end?? otherwise just some Jun Ho x reader fluff is fine :)) thank you!!!

jun-ho x overworked reader

guys tumblr won't let me images to this post how else do I look at junhowhile I write 😢😢😢

junho saw how stressed you'd been lately. working extra hours, skipping your lunch break, getting to work early and leaving late into the night - all because your boss had become extra frustrated lately.

no matter how hard you would try to conceal your tiredness, jun-ho would notice. the way you would cancel dates. the way he could hear you typing away late into the night. how the bags under your eyes seemed to only get deeper by the day.

it's hard for jun-ho to say much to console you. after all, he finds himself the same way at times with the amount of stress he faces. he tries his best though.

because of his work he wishes he could find the time to check in more often. when his mind isn't preoccupied with gi-hun or his brother, he's thinking of ways he can sneak out of work and surprise you (much to your boss's dismay)

one work day was particularly rough. it was late into the night, usually the time that you'd get home to see your boyfriend. all your coworkers had left by then, but you still had one task remaining you were absolutely forced to finish.

usually, jun-ho gets home a bit later than you. this time, however, when he called out your name, he was surprised to only hear an echo back.

jun-ho knew how hard your boss had been on you lately, but he didn't expect you to take so long to return.

when he calls your phone the first time, you don't answer. he calls again, no answer. finally, he resorts to texts, "honey, when's your work finished? x"

30 minutes later when there's no response, he can feel a slight knot tie in his stomach

at that point, he hurries to your work, where he finds you passed out at your desk. he rushes beside you and gently shakes you, hoping that you would wake up.

as your eyes slowly start to blink, he places the back of his hand on your forehead.

"boss, I swear, I'll get the work done," you mumble, flinching to his touch.

"babe, it's me," he reassures, a tremble to his voice. "there's no one else here right now. we're going home, okay?"

the protest dies in your throat as he firmly pulls your belongings away from you. you were too tired to resist. even opening your eyes felt exhausting. the next thing you remember is your boyfriend hoisting you in his arms and throwing you over his shoulder with ease, letting your eyes slowly shut to the steps of jun-ho taking you back home.

the second time you awake you find yourself lying in bed pressed against his chest. as soon as he notices the slight movement in his arms, he quickly shifts upward, making sure to not startle you.

"you've been working too much, haven't you?" he murmurs, his voice still thick with sleep.

you swallow deeply with guilt, the words slipping softly out of you. "i'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to worry you"

"just promise me" he whispers, running his hand through your hair, "no more working this late."

"besides," jun-ho whispers, now in a more playful tone. "i'm much more fun, aren't i?"

cheeky.

[hanniebaeee]

Clueless: Just friends?

Lee Know x fem!reader

Warnings: language, suggestive content MDNI

Genre: friends with benefits to lovers, fluff

Summary: You and Minho used to be friends with benefits. Until you caught feelings, and you both called it off. But Minho obviously misses you and is miserable even though he doesn't want to admit it. And his brothers have had enough of his moping.

Clueless Masterlist

The arrangement with Minho had been perfect - or at least it had started that way. Opposite apartments on the same floor of your nice apartment building. You’d text each other, and within minutes, someone was at the other’s door. No strings, no drama. Just a lot of heat that left you breathless and a little sore the next day.

Until, of course, you did the one thing you promised yourself you wouldn’t do - you caught feelings.

And naturally, Minho, emotionally stunted and a menace to society, panicked. He started pulling away, making excuses every time you asked if he wanted to come over. The warmth in his teasing dimmed into something guarded.

And it hurt. A lot. His rejection wasn't something you had expected, because no matter what anyone said, he was so soft and sweet to you. But he obviously didn't want a relationship, and you both decided to stop seeing each other.

You missed him. Not just his touch, but everything else too. The way he always brought food over (making excuses about how he had extra), held you tight when you had a hard day and how his cats lived with you more than they did with him. Oh you missed the cats. They were literally your kids - and this dirty divorce had given him full custody of them.

And Minho? He was a mess. Not that he’d admit it.

And Jisung had had about enough of his best friend and his brooding.

---

Jisung: OKAY EVERYONE STOP.

Chan: What's up?

Hyunjin: What did you do?

Jisung: NOTHING. THIS IS ABOUT MINHO.

Seungmin: What did he do?

Jisung: He’s been moping for WEEKS. And I'm sick of it.

Changbin: You sure? That’s just his face.

Jisung: LISTEN. IT’S ABOUT Y/N.

Hyunjin: Ohhhhhh.

Felix: I KNEW IT.

Minho: What the hell is going on?

Jisung: OH LOOK WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP. Jisung: YOU, SIR, ARE A DRAMA QUEEN.

---

Minho sighed. This was the last thing he needed right now.

---

Minho: I’m not moping.

Felix: Sure. And I’m not Australian.

Hyunjin: Yeah, totally not glaring at your phone at all.

Minho: It’s not about her.

Jeongin: Are you sure you didn't accidentally click her name in your contacts 12 times yesterday?

Chan: What's going on, Min?

Minho: I don't even know what you guys are going on about!

Minho: We were friends. With benefits. Not lovers. She was nice in bed. That’s it.

---

There was complete silence in the chat for a minute before it exploded.

---

Chan: No, Minho. No. No. No.

Seungmin: Okay, first of all, what the actual fuck?

Hyunjin: Bro, you did not just say that.

Jisung: YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING LOSER.

Changbin: 😡

Jeongin: Hyung, she's an angel, how could you?

Felix: We’re literally trying to save you from yourself.

Minho: Well don't.

---

Minho hated himself. He absolutely hated himself. But he couldn't dwell on the self hate because Jisung just sent a video of Minho pacing his living room like a caged animal, while ranting about you being gone.

---

Hyunjin: Wow. Ok.

Minho: 🙄

Minho: Stop. Just stop.

Chan: Look, you’re obviously miserable. Why not just talk to her?

Seungmin: Yeah, genius. It’s not like she doesn’t live 20 feet away.

Minho: What if she doesn’t feel the same?

Jeongin: I'm sorry, but you’re an idiot.

Hyunjin: Dude. She liked you enough to start this whole thing. You just have to get over your dumb commitment issues.

Changbin: Honestly, just confess. Worst-case scenario, you cry into Dori.

Minho: I hate you all.

Jisung: Hate is a strong word for someone who’s about to sob into his cat.

Minho: Fine. I’ll talk to her.

---

Minho sat on his couch, heart pounding as he stared at your number on his phone. He’d been backed into a corner by his idiot friends, and now there was no escape.

And knowing you, he had a feeling that this was going to be the single most difficult task ever.

With a frustrated groan, he stood and grabbed his hoodie. He was going to do this. Because he loved you so much, and he was miserable without you.

Across the hall, in your apartment, you were getting some work done, sipping on coffee. You heard the doorbell, and when you opened the door, you saw Minho - disheveled, nervous, and yet, as handsome as ever. And your traitorous heart did that stupid thing it always did around him.

“Hey,” he said softly, eyes meeting yours. “Can we talk?”

Minho hadn’t been this nervous in a long time. He stood at your doorstep, heart racing, and palms sweaty, his usual confidence nowhere to be seen.

And he confessed. Nothing dramatics. Just a straightforward, “I love you.”

You'd stared at him as if trying to figure out if he was high. Or had hit his head somewhere. Or if he was simply horny.

But no. Then came his little speech. I know I don't deserve you. I was an asshole (of course he was). I was afraid (as if you weren't). And more than anything - I hurt you. And I hate myself for it. Ok now that you could work with.

But as hard as you tried, sometimes you just couldn't contain that bratty side of you (one that he apparently loved).

You crossed your arms, glaring at him like he’d just run over your dog.

“You can’t just waltz over here, say ‘I love you,’ and expect me to fall into your arms,” you snapped, looking infuriatingly hot with your brows furrowed and your lips pursed in defiance. “You rejected me, Minho. Do you know much that hurt me?”

His stomach twisted.

“I… I wasn’t ready -” he stuttered, looking terrified.

“Yeah, well, now I’m not ready,” you said, taking a step back and slamming the door in his face for dramatic effect.

You leaned against the door, fuming and freaking out all together. Your hands shook so hard as you wrapped your head around the fact that Minho just confessed to you and you slammed the door on his face.

And Minho stood in the hallway, a mix of shock, frustration, and - God help him - arousal bubbling under the surface. You were bratty when you were mad, of course. It made him want to kiss you and throttle you all at once.

---

Minho: She hates me.

Hyunjin: No, she doesn't. She slammed the door on your face didn't she?

Minho: How the hell are you so accurately right?

Jeongin: It's his thing.

Felix: What happened?

Jisung: Wait. Did you confess?

Minho: YES.

Minho: AND SHE SLAMMED THE DOOR IN MY FACE.

Hyunjin: Obviously.

Chan: So she didn’t say no?

Jisung: LMFAO.

Jeongin: She’s mad at you? Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.

Minho: SHE SAID A SIMPLE “I LOVE YOU” WOULDN’T WORK ON HER. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

Seungmin: It means she’s not an idiot.

Changbin: Exactly. You rejected her and took months to realize you’re in love. She deserves a little groveling.

Minho: GROVELING?

Felix: Oh, for sure.

---

He was not groveling. No way. Lee Minho didn't grovel. Hell no.

---

Jisung: Yeah, buddy. You gotta pull out all the stops now. Dinner, flowers, interpretive dance. The works.

Minho: STOP.

Hyunjin: Actually, the dance idea is kinda sexy. Imagine Minho doing a hip roll to apologize.

Felix: STOP IT. I’M WHEEZING.

Minho: CAN YOU ALL BE SERIOUS FOR TWO SECONDS?!

Chan: Look, the point is, you hurt her feelings. You need to show her that you’re serious.

Minho: How?! She's a damn brat. She enjoys torturing me.

Jisung: If she’s a brat, she’s gonna want to see you sweat.

Minho: She frustrates me.

Jisung: So you're sure you're just frustrated and not turned on right now?

---

Damn Jisung.

---

Jeongin: YAHHHH

Felix: You’re INTO IT???

Changbin: My man’s in love AND down bad.

Minho: Please.

Felix: Okay, focus. If groveling isn’t your style, do something you.

Hyunjin: Yeah. Seduce her with your weird cat boy energy or whatever.

Minho: You’re all useless.

Seungmin: Says the man who just admitted to being horny and clueless.

Chan: Minho, she clearly wants you to prove yourself. You’ve got to show her you’re willing to put in effort.

Hyunjin: Write her a song. Serenade her. Cry through it.

Minho: I don’t cry.

Jisung: LIES. I’ve seen you cry at those pet videos.

Minho: JISUNG YOU'RE DEAD.

Minho: What if she never forgives me?

Jeongin: She will. She’s just mad. Just play along.

Hyunjin: He’s right. Drama makes us hotter.

Minho: You're all insane 🙄

Chan: Insane but not wrong. Now, go apologize properly.

---

Minho paced his living room, his mind racing through ideas - romantic dinner? A heartfelt speech? Maybe just tossing himself at your feet and begging?

He needed a plan.

---

Minho: Fine. Give me ideas to make her forgive me.

Jisung: OHOHOHOHOHO.

Felix: Oh, this is gonna be good.

Hyunjin: Okay, everyone, let’s brainstorm.

Changbin: Classic dinner and flowers. Can’t go wrong.

Jisung: No, no. She’s mad. You need to go BIG. Like, dramatic big.

Minho: Like what? Fall to my knees in the rain?

Hyunjin: YES. Bonus points if you sob.

Minho: I’m not doing that.

Seungmin: You’re all useless. Look, Minho, she’s mad because you hurt her. You need to make her feel special. Do something that shows you actually care.

Jisung: STRIPTEASE.

Chan: Jisung.

Felix: WAIT. THAT’S ACTUALLY KIND OF FUNNY.

Hyunjin: Picture this. You show up at her door, music playing, and just start taking things off.

Minho: I want to win her back. Not make her think I'm horny.

Jisung: Coward.

---

Obviously he knew this would happen. He knew it.

---

Chan: Okay, let’s regroup. Minho, what does she like?

Minho: Being mad at me, apparently.

Jeongin: Sounds like she has taste.

Minho: She likes reading. And baking. And…dancing.

Felix: Aha! Bake her something!

Hyunjin: And while it’s baking, do a little dance. Shirtless.

Jisung: OOOH. Combine the ideas. Show up with baked goods and then do the striptease.

Minho: Oh my God.

Seungmin: You could apologize like a normal person, you know.

Felix: Where’s the fun in that?

Jisung: No, no. We need something iconic.

Felix: Okay, serious suggestion: Show her that you actually listened to her. Her favorite food? Or something thoughtful that shows you care about what she likes.

Minho: Like…?

Hyunjin: Cook her favorite meal.

Chan: Or bring her flowers that mean something.

Jisung: Or do the striptease.

Minho: STOP WITH THE STRIPTEASE.

Felix: It’s not a bad idea, you know. Women love confidence.

Minho: I’ll do the cooking idea. But if this backfires, I'm gonna hunt each one of you down and then see what happens.

Jisung: Lies. You’ll be back to cry about it.

---

Minho got to work. He spent hours perfecting your favorite meal, rehearsing his apology in front the mirror, and trying not to think about how much he wanted to kiss you. God, he just wanted to cuddle you and tell you how much his life sucked without you in it.

When he finally knocked on your door, you opened it to find him standing there, holding so many containers of food and looking uncharacteristically nervous.

“Hi,” he said, voice soft. “Can I come in?”

You crossed your arms, and sighed.

"Minho, I really don't have the time-"

"I made your favorite," he said, holding up the containers. "And I will grovel if that's what it takes."

You did love it when he cooked for you.

“This better be good.”

Minho stood in your living room, wringing his hands as you sat on the couch, glaring at him. He set the food on the coffee table and looked at you, his sharp tongue failing him for once.

“I was afraid,” he finally said, voice low.

“Afraid of what? Being happy?” You asked, arching an eyebrow.

Minho winced.

“Yes. No. I mean…God, I don’t know. You’re everything to me, okay? And I was scared I’d ruin it. And then I did ruin it, and now I’m standing here like an idiot, begging you to let me fix it.”

“You… you really mean that?” You asked, your voice softer now, your eyes obviously filling up with tears.

“I’ve been a mess without you. I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it, but I do. I love you, and I’ll spend as long as it takes proving it to you.” he whispered, and you sighed, standing up and stepping closer to him.

“You’re such a dumbass, you know that?”

“Yeah, I've been told.”

And then he cupped your cheeks with his hands and kissed you. Rough and messy, the tension melting away as your arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer.

“You better not mess this up.” you muttered against his lips.

“Not a chance.”

---

Minho: We’re trying the relationship thing.

Felix: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!

Hyunjin: FINALLY.

Jisung: Thank you 🙏

Changbin: Congrats, lover boy.

Chan: Proud of you, Minho.

Felix: Did she like the food?

Minho: Um, it kinda went cold. She’s heating it up now.

Hyunjin: LMAO.

Jisung: What about the striptease? Did you do it?

Minho: 🙄🙄🙄

Jisung: ANSWER THE QUESTION, COWARD.

Minho: We did strip. So… hehe.

Felix: SIR.

Hyunjin: NOT THE “HEHE.”

Jisung: I CAN’T BREATHE.

Changbin: YOU DOG.

Chan: Minho, for the love of God.

Minho: You asked.

Jisung: My dude really said, “She forgave me, and then we got NAKED.” ICONIC.

Jeongin: Please. I just came here to see if Minho hyung was still single, and now I want to bleach my brain.

Chan: Can we not, for once, be so feral?

Hyunjin: You’re in the wrong chat for that, Christopher.

Jisung: Anyway, so… did you, like, destroy the house or… ?

Minho: I will never speak to any of you again.

Jisung: YOU CAN’T JUST DROP “WE STRIPPED” AND THEN LEAVE.

Felix: It’s called a cliffhanger, Ji. Let the man be mysterious.

Hyunjin: Yeah, mysterious about how whipped he is.

Felix: Totally

Divider: @saradika-graphics

Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @eastjonowhere @pixie-felix @sailor--sun @chancloud8 @captainchrisstan @hansmic @emilyywhyy @hanadulsetaad

[xf-cases-solved]

today we are sitting in our office at 6 in the morning thinking about...

that scene in "squeeze" that everyone knows by heart, where mulder asks scully, "do you think i'm spooky?" and it's very cute and weirdly sexually charged like all of their interactions are, but also that scene is really important to their character development actually??

this is episode three, and with the understanding that these two are unhinged and kind of speedrun the whole "i would die for you, you're everything to me, you jump i jump, etc" thing, ostensibly they're still getting to know one another, and, more importantly, mulder's still trying to gauge if scully is hashtag legit. like, his gut tells him that, yes, for some reason the fates aligned and made it so the shadow government fucked up real bad and actually sent him an ally instead of an enemy (and also she's not hard on the eyes either, just sayin'), and also she held a security operative at gunpoint for him just one episode earlier, so i think by this point he does genuinely trust that she doesn't have a secret agenda

what he is LESS certain of, however, is whether or not she is going to want to stick around once she fully understands just what a fucking bummer it is to be fox fucking mulder, resident hoover building loser. like she is this literal genius agent and medical doctor, who's professional and hot and kind, and she could easily have an extremely promising career ahead of her, and he doesn't think she understands just how detrimental it is for her to go all in with him. and this case, with these by-the-book buddies of hers, is the first time they are really facing that issue head on

going back to the aforementioned scene, mulder is testing her. through that whole bit, he's testing her. ("why didn't they ask me about the case?" "bc they're my friends and they're more comfortable with me" "why would i make them uncomfortable?" "bc of your reputation" "rEpUtAtIoN?? who has a reputation???") like he is trying SO hard to get her to stop talking around the issue and just say "they think you're a fucking freak, mulder," which ofc she won't, which is why, when she gives him the perfect set up with, "they think your theories are..." he IMMEDIATELY swoops in and asks, "spooky?"

and then he looks her in the eye and asks, "do you think i'm spooky?"

and he says it in his joking tone, but i fully believe that there is a genuineness there. he already knows before talking to colton and his cronies how the conversation is going to go, and he doesn't care, bc he doesn't care about their opinions, but he DOES care about her opinion, and i think that scares him. i think it's been a very, very long time since he last gave a shit about what someone thought of him, and he's extremely uncomfortable. i think that's why he goes so hard just seconds later with the straight faced "aliens are actually grey" thing with colton. he doesn't do it to taunt colton, or for his own amusement, but bc he wants to show scully flat out, "this is what they think of me, and this is how i am going to act in response. can you handle it? can you handle being a social pariah? or do you think i'm spooky?"

the theme comes up repeatedly in this episode, actually. he outright admits to being territorial over her, but in the same breath gives her permission to work on the case with colton instead of him, bc he KNOWS what a shit meal she's been served by the fbi, pairing them up together, but then she's like, "hmmm, idk, i think you must know more than you're saying and i wanna know what it is," and he is so delighted, bc not only does it mean that she's really committed to finding the truth, not just closing the case as fast as possible, but it also means that she's choosing him over them, and that N E V E R happens

but later in the episode he also makes the remark about how in thirty years she'll be "head of the bureau," which is another peek into his mind grapes, showing us that he's still very stuck on this idea that working with colton & friends is going to make her suddenly come to the realization of "oh wait, what am i DOING with this loser??" he's afraid of that happening, and he's afraid about the fact that he's afraid of it in the first place, and bc this is mulder and scully we're talking about, and neither of them are physically capable of saying what they're feeling, he just keeps making jokes and quips and being a dick to colton (who deserves it, but still), bc the alternative is admitting to scully, "hey, i really like your company and would kind of really very much like it if you didn't leave me for the cool kids agents," and he's not going to do that. not just bc of the vulnerability aspect, but bc he would view it as selfish, bc he fully believes that being stuck with him is bad for her (lol i wonder if that will become a theme throughout the entire series ha ha)

but anyway, turns out his worries are unfounded, bc it turns out scully will take being mrs. spooky over climbing the career ladder any day

"do you think i'm spooky?"

"no, i think you're a fucking nerd, now shut up get me my own desk. if we push them together we can play battleship, and then later we can get to know each other carnally"

or something

they're in love, your honor

this is only episode THREE

unhinged

[rom-e-o]

The idea of Manfred just, innocently as can be, ruining surprises and secrets between Papa and Mama. Like any little kid.🤣

Example: Guinevere making herself a custom lingerie set decorated in choice grave gold pieces Emmrich has lavished upon her. She plans to surprise him on his birthday night. Manfred finds it first, is drawn to it because of the glitter and shine, of course, and assumes it's some sort of special mage armor. Cue him rushing out from the house's interior somewhere to greet Emmrich dressed in a glittery, jingling lingerie set bearing a train and dripping in gold.🤣

What does he ruin for Belismrich?

HELLLP, that's is so precious. Manfred having these silly, whimsical little moments of pure joy as he explores the world fills is so wonderful to imagine. He's a spirit of Curiosity, after all! It's only natural that he seek out treasures and oddities and then share them.

Like you said, I'm sure this leads to a few spoiled surprises, haha. The little guy has hones his exploration skills from helping Emmrich explore the Necropolis, so you know he's got some experience sneaking into places and training his eyes on details.

OHHHH MANFRED, DARLINGGG LMAO.

Listen, you know ... sometimes you find armor while hunting in dungeons. It's gold. It's shiny. So, he finds this set, and his first thought is that it's very rare gear. It's gold, too! Gold is valuable! Papa taught him that.

So he dons it and parades out joyfully, arms raised happily. "Look! Treasure!"

Emmrich, who was browsing his library for books, practically drops the stack at the display. "M-Manfred! Where did you...?"

"Grave gold!" He does a twirl to emphasize the train. "Pretty! Like Mama!"

"V-Very much so, my dear boy, but..."

He has to fight back a laugh and try very hard to be stern, but ohhhh, it's so hard. He can't stop grinning.

"Manfred? Where did you find that?" He knows from where, of course. It's not his or Manfred's after all, and let's just say he's familiar enough with that cup size to know it from a glance, haha.

"Wardrobe! In back!"

"Oh, dear. I'll have to warn G'iney to not hide her projects there."

He tells G'iney, of course. To keep an honest dialogue between them, but also ... because it is pretty hilarious, haha. He does ask Manfred to apologize, and promise to not go through people's clothes anymore. Chests in a home are not the same as chests in a dungeon, haha.

"I'm sorry, my dear," he tells her with a bashful smile. "I'm sure you were hiding it for a reason. I took care to avert my gaze as much as I could, but from what I saw? You have outdone yourself again."

He'd still very much like to see her in it for the occasion she had planned. "If the mood still moves you, my beloved."

And thanks to Manfred? He already has some knowledge of how to take it off~ Which will come in handy. Well, at least, after a few rounds. ;)

Oh, what does Manny do for Belismerich?

Hmmm ... okay, remember my hc that Emmrich really enjoys studying Isma's form? Especially while she dances, he loves to observe her muscles and anatomy at work. Each movement of hers is pure art to him, even on an anatomical level.

He sketches her often. While she dances, relaxes, etc.

Well, let's just say, perhaps Manfred finds these sketches? And he likes them. ("That's Mama! Pretty!")

What does Emmrich do when Manfred gets positive marks? He posts the paper for all to see.

So...later that day, Isma and Emmrich are returning from a ritual one day, and Emmrich sees a familiar drawing on a light post. Emmrich recognizes it, and grabs it before Isma can see.

"What was...?"

"N-Nothing!"

Then, one light up, there are two more. And more drawings are on the fence leading to his lodgings. The papers have drawn some small, inquisitive crowds of students.

"Are those me?" she asks, very confused.

Emmrich, who knows that they are but is VERY confused as to what they're doing pasted across the city, just keeps grabbing them while leading Isma home very quickly.

Whey reach the front door, Manfred throws it open happily. "Surprise!"

The intimate drawings were (thankfully) placed indoors only, haha. Ones of her laying supine, breasts bare, lips parted, long hair flowing unbound. Some of her sleeping. Some of her arms, her legs; all the finer points of her anatomy.

"Yay! Proud!"

Poor Emmrich can barely stay conscious from the rush of blood to his cheeks, all while Isma coos and gently thanks Manfred, urging him to bring his papa his chair while she desperately tries to calm his blush.

"F-Forgive me, darling. I-I intended to show them to you for our anniversary."

All is well, as Belisma is so honored by his devotion, that she vows to give him much more source material in time for their celebration. And for that day, Emmrich keeps the drawings in a locked drawer.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Okay well as long as we're talking about sex, have you covered blowjobs yet? Cause like. I swear I used to know what I was doing but apparently I lost that knowledge cause I have been *struggling* to give a decent blowjob lately and surely there has to be some advice that's not just "ask your partner what they like."

Eyyyyyyyy babes that's literally how this started you're in luck, I sent this to my service top this morning

I got SO FUCKING OFFENDED that twice now I've tried to give Youtube Boy a blowjob and my performance has been fucking LACKLUSTER AT BEST and don't get me wrong he's been great about it and doesn't seem disappointed by my performance, but ALSO last time afterwards he fucked me so hard I just didn't stop cumming for like five minutes, so OBVIOUSLY the imbalance in quality cannot be allowed to stand

There are SO many useful things to know about blowjobs and so far I haven't actually talked about them, just bitched about how mad I am that my gag reflex is back

Things to think about when you want to suck some dick:

The head of a penis is very sensitive. This is technically less likely to be true for circumsized folks, but lets be real, the penis head and clit have a lot in common and both are more easily overwhelmed by sensation than the rest of the bits

Differently shaped dicks will require different breathwork to "breathe through" a blowjob. This isn't as much about size as you'd think (altho it obvi can), and has a lot to do with how a penis curves. Gets one with a compatible curve to your mouth and throat, and everyone's having a much better time immediately

Gag reflexes get worse the more you trigger them, and numbing aids don't necessarily help with the psychological effects of having an obstructed airway. Even if you don't deepthroat, a lot of us breathe through our mouths more than we realize

Things that inflame your throat (smoking, eating spicy food, etc) may not be smart to do before a blowjob because it might make your gag reflex more sensitive

You can DESENSITIZE your gag reflex with "the toothbrush" method, and then once the physical desensitization has taken place, you can move to "the dildo" method to help learn to relax and breathe through the initial discomfort and anxiety of a triggered gag reflex

Temperature play is fun. The classic is "drink some peppermint tea right before" but I'm a fan of cinnamon tea myself

Don't forget to get wet! mouths are self-lubricating same as vaginas, and I promise the wetter the mouth, the easier the blowjob, so try and make sure you're well hydrated, and maybe even do something like eat sour candies to induce salivation, use an edible lube, or even hold your mouth open wide long enough to start drooling a bit.

Do some TMJ exercises. If you're suddenly struggling to suck dick, you might be experiencing tension in your jaw that's constricting your range of motion. Consider learning how to safely give yourself a gentle scalp massage, and making a routine of some TMJ exercises like this one:

I am begging yall (gen) to pay attention to the balls! They are so fun! Have you ever heard a girl squeak when you suck on her balls like the head of her dick and let them gently *pop* back out of your mouth???? Fucking phenomenal. The look on a man's face when you use your fingers around his shaft and balls like a cock ring and he feels you massaging the perineum??? God-tier shit. The testicle deserves respect-icle, come on

My fellow autistics and blind sluts, this is where we shine: you want *scalding* amounts of eye contact (perceived, not actual). You want the only time that eye contact is broken to be when your eyes close you can moan like a pornstar around something sensitive and watch the vibrations rattle their psyche. Pick a spot near the eyes and anchor your gaze there like a ballerina anchoring their sights for their pirouette. I like the tip of the nose because my favorite blowjob position is kneeling in front of The Blowjob Chair (everyone with a dick that I've ever fucked has this chair. At this point I assume it comes standard with the dick and look forward to receiving my delivery upon completion of bottom surgery) and from down there, staring at the tip of their nose with my glasses of consistently has the effect of me staring deep into their fucking souls while I suck it out through their dick. 10/10 strongly recommend for the sounds they make alone. Get a knee pillow though. I recomend about 2ft square and min 3-4inches thick for my creaky jointed baddies. I'm in my 30s bitch, I suck that girl off for an hour on the hardwood, I ain't getting back up under my own power, yall young sluts revel in your range of motion while you have it

As with ANY kind of sex, USE FOREPLAY!! Even if the blowjob IS foreplay for something else, you want to escalate the temperature of the encounter steadily as you move through activities. Give them a hickey on their thigh, dig your nails *gently* into their hips and moan when you blow them, have fun with it!

Stop focusing all the movement in your neck bruh, bounce your ass to bounce your mouth off that dick, use your momentum!

Take a page out of the kinky risk management book and decide on an SOS **gesture** with your partner (your mouth will be busy, dispense with the safe word) i'm deeply physical with my hands on my partner's thighs during oral so the classic "slap their thigh 3×" type approach doesn't work for me. But if I'm pushing away from my partner with my hands, that's the sign for them to help me come (heh) up for air and maybe check in.

It's easier to ask your partner what they like about your oral performance after it happens than to ask them what they want from it before they've experienced it

This post actually got way longer than I meant so I'm going to cut it here lmao bit thanks for letting me ramble about my literal favorite thing in the world to do: oral sex lmao

[yyaktayak]

Chapter 6 📌

tags: @uceyliyahh @charmed-dreamssss @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account

Kimaya's POV

It was hard not to feel like the weight of the world was pressing down on me. With every passing day, the distance between Jey and me felt like it was stretching further. Sure, we texted, we called, but it wasn't the same. I missed him in a way that made my chest ache—his laugh, the way his eyes would light up when he saw me, the way his hand felt in mine.

I'd tried to keep busy, but the nights were the hardest. It was when I was lying awake in bed, scrolling through old pictures of us, that it hit me the hardest. I wanted him here. And no matter how many times he promised me that he was thinking of me, I still felt the sting of *missing* him.

That morning, Kaveri and I had been out running errands. I wasn't really in the mood for shopping or anything else, but she insisted. "You've got to get out of the house, girl," she'd said. "Jey would want you to live your best life, even when he's not around."

I wasn't so sure, but I'd gone along with it anyway, mostly to shut her up. After grabbing a coffee, we were wandering through a boutique when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out, expecting it to be another meme from the group chat or a random text from my mom.

But when I saw the name on the screen, my heart skipped a beat. *Jey*.

I answered immediately.

"Hey, baby," I said, trying to sound cheerful, though there was a slight tremor in my voice.

"Hey, gorgeous," Jey's voice came through, sounding like he'd just woken up. "How's your day going?"

"It's fine. Just out with Kaveri," I said. "Nothing special."

There was a pause on the other end. I could almost feel him grinning through the phone.

"Where are you right now?" he asked, his voice suddenly sounding more serious.

I frowned, glancing at Kaveri, who was thumbing through a rack of clothes. "I'm at this boutique on Main Street. Why?"

"Good," he said, voice dropping lower. "Stay where you are. I'll be there in five minutes."

My heart skipped again. "What? Jey, what are you talking about?"

"Just trust me," he replied. "I'll explain when I get there."

I glanced at Kaveri, who was eyeing me now, clearly intrigued by my conversation. "I'll be right back," I said to her before hanging up.

I stepped outside the store, my mind racing. What could Jey possibly be up to? Why was he here? Was he already back from tour? No, he'd said he wouldn't be back for another week. I shook my head, confused and excited all at once.

I didn't have to wait long. Just a few minutes later, a sleek black SUV pulled up in front of the boutique. My heart started pounding as the driver stepped out and opened the door. And then—there he was.

Jey.

He was wearing a baseball cap and a black hoodie, but there was no mistaking him. He looked exhausted, but there was a wide grin plastered on his face, the kind that made my stomach flip every time. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him approach.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, barely able to hold it together.

Jey pulled me into his arms without a word, holding me tightly as if he hadn't seen me in years instead of just a week. His familiar scent—the mix of cologne and sweat from his tour—surrounded me, and I immediately felt all the tension in my body melt away.

"I couldn't wait any longer," he said, pulling back slightly to look me in the eyes. "I miss you too much, Kimaya. I had to come see you."

I blinked up at him, unable to stop the smile that spread across my face. "But... I thought you were still on tour?"

"I was," he said, grinning. "But I've got a little break, and I decided I couldn't spend another minute without you. So I took the first flight back."

My heart swelled at his words, and I couldn't help but laugh through the sudden wave of emotion. "You're insane," I said, wiping at my eyes, though I was smiling the entire time. "You didn't have to do this. I can't believe you're here."

"I *wanted* to do this," Jey replied, taking my hand and leading me to the car. "Now let's get you away from this place, yeah?"

I followed him to the SUV, still trying to process what was happening. Jey had *really* come back just to surprise me. I didn't know whether to be amazed or overwhelmed.

As we climbed into the backseat, Jey pulled something from his pocket—a small black box. He handed it to me with a shy grin, the first time I'd seen him look vulnerable in a while.

"Open it," he said softly, his eyes searching mine.

My heart raced as I carefully pried open the box. Inside was a silver ring—simple, but elegant. It had a soft sheen, and it seemed to glimmer even in the dim light of the car.

"Jey, what—"

"It's not a promise ring, Kimaya," he said, his voice serious now. "But it's something I wanted you to have. I don't care what people think. You're mine, and I'm yours. No more wondering, no more second-guessing. I'm with you. Always."

I stared at the ring for a moment, completely overwhelmed by the depth of his words. It wasn't an engagement ring, not yet, but it felt like something even more significant—like a symbol of everything we'd shared and everything that was to come. I could barely speak as I slid the ring onto my finger.

"Jey," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," he said with a smile, leaning in to kiss my forehead. "Just know that I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

For the first time in days, I felt at peace. He was here. And nothing else mattered.

---

Liked by @theshaderoom, @WWE, @uceyjucey and others.

iamrazorbehavior: my forevers💕 #myfavs #hiswife

comments are disabled.

*A/N: And just like that, Jey's back! I hope you guys are feeling the love (and maybe a little jealous, too 😉). I'm dying to know your thoughts—how would you feel if your partner surprised you like this? Leave a comment below and let's chat!*

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[seventh-district]

again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.

[plantenjoyer]

I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS

[muzzlemouths]

Psst. Just wanted to let you know that you're cool and I hope you have a really nice day today! You seem to be Goin Through It™ and I just wanted to let you know that we (your followers) like you no matter the quantity of stuff you're able to make at any given time (though we most certainly do like what you make, but that's not why most of us stay, I believe); you're very funny and have insightful opinions about writing, and you're always super nice when I stop by to say hi! Please remember to be kind to your mind and heart this upcoming Spring. I hope The Delights come into your life in leaps and bounds, and that you'll receive good news soon!!! <33

ooh...ohh.h.....th.ank you for the kind words........

[notsodailycake]

Hello what happened to home is where Freddy is ? Was it cancelled? If not that’s wonderful if yes thank you for everything

Hello there

So well, i can understand why you think so, but no it isn't cancelled, i just haven't been able to work on it recently unfortunately. I plan to bring it back soon, but things have been hard irl

It will probably be a while until i can fully get back on it, i plan on making a few pages in advance before i start posting it again

[miodiodavinci]

ouhghgh , , , reached the point where my throat is in so much pain i can't sleep, even with cough drops , , , , i keep waking up every hour coughing so hard i start to throw up by the end , , , , it looks like my fever might finally be going down (original peak of 100.9, now down to 98.8) but god , , , , the agony , , , , , ,

[sabraeal]

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

If You Dare! My hakizana fics are not usually SUPER popular, but they tend to garner at least a little interest, but that one didn't even get a blip 🤣Too bad, that one was going to get smutty in the next chapter or two. ONE DAY.

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

That would be To My Esteemed Enemy with three whole kudos, which is both surprising and not, because it's a fic with a pairing that is more popular than my main ship in that fandom, but it 1) doesn't have any ship content in it yet, 2) is using canon characterization of Kazama, which displeases the people who want him to be a sexy villain and also the people who want him to be a uwu good boy trying his best. It's easy to say something nice about this, because I spent HOURS poring over Hakuouki lore to get this into shape and was SO PLEASED with the results. It just needs a few more chapters to really find an audience, I think, but I don't have the time right now to put my effort into it.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

computer define underdog

[foldingfittedsheets]

I was a pretty sickly kid. I'm a pretty sickly adult too I guess. But one of the issues I had was constant ear infections. I almost went deaf because I just had near continuous swelling and inflammation going on. I had tubes in my ears twice because they fell out the first time.

If you're unfamiliar that's where they put a tiny gauge in your inner ear to help force it open. It's meant to stop water getting trapped back there. I had to put wax in my ears before contact with pools, baths, showers, anything, for years, to prevent water from slinking through that narrow channel and festering long enough to spawn bacteria.

It was miserable. To this day my inner ear is blighted with so much scar tissue that every single ear exam the doctor goes, "Woah." You never want to hear a doctor say woah. It's never good.

Eventually my constant rounds of antibiotics and misery was pinned on my tonsils. A doctor declared there was just too much ick hiding out in there and they had to go. I was about five or six at the time. Having surgery as a little kid is already pretty scary but I was determined to be brave. I'd already had vacuum suction tools used on my inner ear weekly a practice so painful it's banned now. I was also promised a coveted troll dinosaur for good behavior.

So I walked tremulously into the hospital to have an organ removed. By all accounts I comported myself admirably. Afterward I was coming out of anesthesia quite slowly. The nurse was carrying me back to my parents when I rasped a whispery, "Knock knock," at her.

She paused and looked down at me, "What?"

A little stronger I repeated, "Knock knock."

She was shocked her tiny patient was trying to tell a joke while higher than a kite but dutifully said, "Who's there?"

"Adam," I said in a wavery little voice.

She leaned closer to hear me, "Adam who?"

I bellowed through my raw throat, still freshly bleeding from surgery, "Adam my way, I'm gettin' outta here!"

The nurse had to stop she was laughing so hard and she was in hysterics when she delivered me back to me parents, repeating the whole episode to them, turning their anxiety into delight that their doped up child was a comedy genius.

No one knew where I'd learned the joke, but it was a staple story throughout my childhood.