#I procrastinated forever with jeremiah

[crocutacanidae]

September 1920

[ashton-ryder]

Ash had wrapped up the garden work that afternoon, well mostly Beau doing the work and Ashton just doing garden. He did what he could, not that his friend would've let him do anything more. But the excitement was infectious, as exhausted as Ash was that day, he did started looking forward for the next few weeks before they start getting new crops again. Ash had already went back to enjoy the comforts of his own apartment but realised he left one of his notebooks upstairs, debating whether to push through the pain to go back up there or risk rain coming down and ruining the book forever. Too many important notes were in there for Ash to procrastinate on that. It took him thrice the time to make his way to the garden, grumbling at the inconvenience in his mind but when he pushed open the door to see the other half of Beau up there instead, perhaps it was a good decision he made it up here.

"Not exactly feeling that super after that climb," Ash sighed as equally dull-toned and tried to stretch his arms and mostly failing. He however did catch the cigarette butt before it was put out, smelling the smoke and liquor in the air as light as it was with the wind carrying the evidence away. "Nah, we were just up here earlier fixing the garden, I forgot something, is all." Ash answered Ziggy, letting it go for now seeing if they might share what's troubling them in their mind.

Ash walked around to grab the notebook sitting on the table, humming with a quick nod at Ziggy's first question, "Aggie.. right?" He tried to recall the chaos that happened on the beach, not even entirely sure when they were joined by her and Ruth. "I'm.. not quite sure to be honest, we were fighting off the raiders, and Ruth.. Ruth showed up with her not far behind." He wanted to say they dumbly ran into the fray but was it so dumb if it saved his life? "Ruth told me that she crossed path with her while she ran while everything was chaotic.." Ash was just as confused as to who she was and where she came from, just that she immediately glued onto Jeremiah the moment they made it back to shore, and never left his side. "She seems to know Jeremiah though." Ash barely got much of a moment with him either to really ask about it, and in the moments that they did share perhaps they rather just not think about much.

"I'm sorry, she was pretty terrified of me during our quarantine so.." Ash forced more memories and only shook his head, indicating the extent of his knowledge. "..you okay though Zig? You know her? I've.. never seen you smoke before."

who: @ashton-ryder

where: the roof

when: march 24th, just past sunset

finding his sister was a shock, seeing her... all bandaged up like that. it was haunting him and there was nothing more that he wanted other than to stay by her side and never leave it but it was clear that she needed her space and had latched onto other people. they'd attempt again the next day, even if it was to just sit there— what did they do to her?

they'd heard she came back with the beach people, or boat, no one had given him much of a strong background and one of the people she seemed to be hanging around the most wouldn't give him the time of fucking day. the guy didn't even know her name. ziggy wasn't proud of immediately resorting to substances as a coping mechanism but there they were, a pack of smokes and a .75 of rye whiskey draining while they watched the sunset alone. to think, they explained to beau before they left. those worried powder blues were hard to shut out, but ziggy needed some time to just spiral or think or something before they lost their mind completely.

when they heard the roof access door open, they half expected to see him when they turned around. instead, they saw a familiar blonde. "hey superman," they greeted dully and took one last drag of the cigarette before putting it out on the bottom of his shoe. "beau didn't send you up here to check on me did he?" the question fell out loose, until he remembered ashton was one of them on the rescue team. "hey, can i ask you something? you know that younger woman you brought back, strawberry blonde hair, doesn't talk? do you know what happened to her?"

[pibjnky]

Hiatus

Hello yes it's me, back from the dead, or well. A hiatus really. I feel like I always post when I've either had a revelation or when I've had a mental breakdown. I feel like I never have a neutral attitude when I post. Maybe that's just me.

Anyways, I'm back, and I'm gonna try and be a little more active again. So in light of the return, here are highlights of 2017. Kind of as a welcome back from being a 5 star procrastinator. Keep in mind, they're not super exciting, I lead a boring life.

January: I started getting a little more confidence with the music stuff and began posting videos on Instagram of me playing instruments. I also became so much closer to my college group friends. I began to work at a restaurant called Cafe Zupas.

February: I began to step out of my comfort zone and actively hang out with people my own age. I also didn't feel like I was being talked about behind my back.

March: I got to see my sister during spring break after 3 months of not seeing her after a huge family affair happened leading into the new year. I also got really close with the gorgeous Juliet Wilson, a wonderful godly woman who I strive to be.

April: I released my first acoustic song to my new friends and didn't feel bad or afraid about it. Mad Crush was a special song because it proves that I wouldn't be obsessed with one guy forever. So thanks Jarrett for being my inspiration. Speaking of Jarrett and Juliet, they both came to my baptism during this month. Such a wonderful (and long) day.

May: I watched the beautiful Juliet marry her best friend and become Mrs. Juliet Wolf. I cried, many times. I released my second acoustic song, When I Grow Up. I also finished my volunteer work as a youth leader at Scottsdale Bible Church: Mountain Valley Campus. R.I.P. I recorded my first piano video on Instagram, which is a big deal because I am not good at it.

June: A quiet month for me, but I made the transition from SBC:MVC to the Shea campus where I now attend The Venue with my college group friends.

July: I got to see Jake and Taylor, it doesn't sound that exciting, but that was the highlight of my year. 5/7 siblings were together for the 4th of July this year which was really cool because all my nieces and nephews were together playing on the same playground where I grew up. I also started a new job at Scottsdale Bible Church in the Cafe where I am now a barista.

August: I SAW ED SHEERAN LIVE. I REPEAT, I SAW THE ACOUSTIC GUITAR GOD LIVE. It was amazing and I will never feel adequate. I also lost my grandfather this year and was reminded just how much family means to me. I released Brown House, my favorite original song that I have ever written, recorded and to play.

September: I began a wonderful friendship with my ride or die best friend(even though I joke) Callie Johnson. We annoy the crap out of each other and we make each other mad all the time, but she's my best friend and that means a lot. I SAW PARAMORE, I SAW HAYLEY WILLIAMS, I SAW TAYLOR YORK AND I SAW ZAC FARRO. THIS IS BIGGER THEN THE GINGER MAN. Okay, I'll calm down, but I saw my favorite band ever live and I cried so many times. It was amazing.

October: The most worst tragedy happened, the Las Vegas Shooting. This effects me because one of my best friends, Taylor Bissell, lives in Vegas and just the idea of anything happening so close to her makes me so sick to my stomach. I was terrified for her and the families of those who were there. Luckily, Taylor, her family and my other friends who live there, were safe. I've always been good with emotions, but this wrecked me. Jeremiah 8:21 says, "For the brokenness of the daughter of my people I am broken; I mourn, dismay has taken hold of me." This weighed heavy on my heart, and I just felt so broken and hurt. Tragedy is not something to see in the news one day and forget about the next. So if you're reading this, say a prayer over the families this Christmas. It's really hard knowing that your loved one won't be here when everyone is joyus and excited.

November: I turned 22!! I went to Vegas to celebrate with Callie, visit Taylor and visit other friends as well! A wonderful month November was, I got to celebrate my first friendsgiving ever with incredible friends and a wonderful ministry. I also got to be apart of a awesome outreach event for high school and college students called EXO night!

December: Though the month isn't over, this has been the best month to date. My brother Skyler, who I hadn't seen in 5 years, moved to Arizona! Guys! This is big, never in my life have I had a close relationship with my brother, but him moving here has changed my life. He's only been here since the 1st of the month, but boy it feels like he never left. I got to have my first ever photo shoot thanks to the wonderful Calpal Johnson, (this has become a Callie appreciation post) and I released my first cover called Don't You Love Me by a band called Chapel! I highly recommend them!

As you can see, this year has kind of been a whirlwind year. There have been a lot of downs, but way more ups to celebrate!

Because someone has already asked, no I do not have a boyfriend. I have been on a journey to find myself and God by being single and learning how to love myself. It's been almost a full year of no men in my life romantically and if I'm being honest, it's really lonely, sad and it sucks, but! My brother moving here and my new friendship with Callie has really filled that loneliness void and I honestly can say that I'm not lonely or sad anymore. I'm excited and learning so much. I've also just learned how to be a better leader, lover, friend and sister. This year has obviously taught me a lot and I can't wait to ring in the new year with everyone I've met!

Alright, now I'm done rambling on. If you read the whole thing, as always. Thank you for the support. See ya in 2018!

P.s. I tried to type 2018 and definitely typed 2028, so that's probably pretty accurate if I'm being completely and utterly honest! Ta ta for now!