#I probably never will bc musical talent is one thing I lowkey lack

[theworstcreature]

Inertia acoustic version I love you so so much forever and ever

I’m so normal about this song guys I promise i haven’t been loosing my mind over it for the past two days <3333

[maxthesillyy]

i bet everything i own that if i push the look button max is gonna say smth quirky and funny— wait no. we cant look at anything… UNCOMMON DE WIN

nope nvm she looked at thefucking santa hat NEVERMIND. and the table sign… and. a bunch else. okay…..

still soso cuirous bout rhe polaroids

literally just watched safi tell her to pull the trigger and is still absolutely fine with her.. okay

LORETTA!!!!!!<3

OH SHIT YAY i was hoping wed get a “max fucks up timelines” moment :3

loretta y r u like rhis… freak<3

the talk to the future/past thing is so much cooler now considering

not even an animation for the “change his grade” thing??

SORRY PLANT I JUST DIDNT WANNA RISK GWEN FIGURING OUT I WAS THERE

gwen hates max in my play through so much 😭

oh straight up? nice

“whyd u do it” “IT WAS HARD AND I DONT REGRET IT”

safi…. safi im so curious

MAYA MENTION MAYA MENTION MAYA MENTION

amberprice vibes? parallels i guess?

so clearly the call was safi learning the book was cancelled

max never fucking stops 😭😭

people who want to romance gwen r projecting themselves WAY too much into maxs place,,, maybe its just me but this is like. exhausted parent and rebellious teenager 4 lack of better words

NO RECORDS OF ALDERMAN??? this is so cool

oh hey firewalk poster in gwens office

stop mentioning explosive shit ur scaring me

THE RINGING IS SO ANNOYINGGGGRGEFFEFEF

oh???????? timeline fuckery???????? i dont think shes lying she looks way too chill.

“everyone seems to have a different opinion of Maya” I AM FED UP WITH THE RACHEL PARALLELS!!!!!!!!!! WHERE IS THIS GOING 💥💥💥💥💥

“because she (safi) trusts you. and i (yasmin) trust you.” staring staring staring. something something ‘pull the trigger.’

I DONT WANNNA TALK TO VINH OH MY GO

me and all the homies (except ky) HATE VINH

AMANDA JUMPSCARE HOLY SHIT like that genuinely startled me. just seeing her stand in the corner like that LMFAO

MAYAS WAS A STUDENT?????????? I TAKE BACK EVERY AMBERPRICE STATEMENT MY BAD MY BAD

im trying so hard to care about the npc sideplotlines. would be easier if i could engage in the conversation.

STOP BEING FLIRTY I DO NOT CONSENT‼️‼️

OH! DIAMOND AND MOSES.. or just diamond?

the audios weird again

the chapters feel so much longer… but that may just be bc i dont know what to expect next unlike previous games.

oh. damn. i liked lucas,, idk whether to trust vinh but. idk.

hell yea not cashing in on the favor he owes me

safis like a force of nature when shes angry. this reminds me of no one.

ugh i guess i dont totally hate vinh

HELP MAX I WAS JUST ABOUT SAY— not another pedo teacher please 🙏

wow <3 love this photo of lucass family. definitely not a pitch black screen for some reason.

OF COURSE THATS WHERE THE FUCKING THING TO PROGRESS THE STORY WAS

OH SHIR HES A THEIF

i like that DE has more achievements other than the collectibles

SAFI TIME

these chapters are SO LONG

“safi, hey!” said too casually

dude im scared of safi now

WHATS GOING ON?! IM SCARED!!! /reference

maxs number 1 talent is pissing off pretty women

MAX PRE DE POST HELL WEEK LORE

THE CHLOE SHIT IS GONNA MAKE ME GO INSANE. WDYM U WERE ALONE FOR SO LONG. WDYM CHLOE IS PROBABLY PARTYING. WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHLOE WOULD PICK UP FOR YOU BUT IT ISNT HER JOB TO YAKE CARE OF YOU. YOURE GOING THROUGH HORRIBLE TRAUMATIC SHIR LITERALLY CALL HER

UGHGSGEGFFRGGEGGEGGRGFFAHHHHHHH

OH WAIT LETS FUCKING GO— max makes a parallel comment on lucas and jefferson i knew it was real

“heh…. thats the reaction im expecting at this point……” max shouldve been a teen on 2020 tiktok

ARO DIAMOND????? 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

i cant play this all night when does this chapter end?

so were calling polaroid max alternate max

safi vague vent posting LMFAO

max messing up timelines 😻

lowkey getting annoyed amanda’s One reaction to anything sad max says is “LOL EMO i refuse to respond seriously” it’s nitpicky

also the audio is weird again,,, WAY too loud music rn

“bitch shut ur dumb eyes!” same vibes as when someone tries to do the “be mean to friend jokingly and everyone finds it funny” way too early on in the friendship. clearly max doesnt think so tho so.

this reminds me of that one moment in the tlou dlc

this is not fun,,,,,,,,,, classic LIS dance scene tho! cant live without it

AYYYYY LETS THRASH SHAKABRAH MOMENT

ugh that wasnt fun but it was kinda cute + necessary LIS dance scene + max is happier now

PH THE BG MUSIC IS GOOD NOW?????? HOLY SHIT ITS LIKE. BTS LEVELS OF GOOD

oh yay amandas finally giving max a normal response

“why are you so nice to me?” MAX GUILT AND TRAUMA MAX GUILT AND TRAUMA

“shit,,, im doing it again” LITERALLY WHAT AMANDA. WHAT. LITERALLY WHAT.

“my therapist says i latch onto people too quickly…” SHUT UPPPPP FUCK OFF

okay sorry i officially dont like amanda. reminds me of way too many annoying people i know

“please dont vs that would be hot” 😕😕😕😕😕

when max acts cringy its okay bc its max but when AMANDA ACTS LIKE A NICE GUY ITS SO ANNOYING

I LITERALLY SAID SHE ISNR MY TYPE AND ITS A FRIEND THING STOP SHOVING HER AT ME— AT LEAST VINH IS RELATED TO THE PLOT.

“heh… i guess i just have a thing for emotionally unavailable women” FUCK OFFF I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE ALL ABOUT BOUNDARIES

“but dw you didnt feel the same way and i respect that” CLEARLY NOT???

okay the gwen is hot joke is actually kinda funny

whateva whateva idec

i wanted to like amanda so much but i CANT

oh hey trauma and guilt again 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

max was so excited to see safi too </3

MAX STOP FLIRTING WITH PEOPLE I DO NOT CONSENT /joke

“safi was obsessed with you” SAFI LORE GO ON PLEASE

anybody else waiting for More rachel mentions

stop making me not hate you vinh… this chapter has reversed me— like vinh hate amanda now

WHY ARE WE SMASHING OR PASSING STOP IT STOP IT IM TOO AROACE I DONT LIKE THIS GAME STOPPPPPPP

say safi so i can say smash

“my students are off limits” THANK GOD i was so scared they were gonna be dumb tbh

VINH BACK OFF NOW— BEAR SPRAY GO

OH FUCK OFF IM NOT KISSING HIM— NOT NOW OF ALL TIMES

“dont take this the wrong way—“ TAKE IT. TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY

please tell me were at the end please please please

YEAH I AM ROMANTICALLY DISENTANGLED THANKS FOR NOTICING— although thats. an odd achievement. but i can support an achievement that encourages you to not gaf about romance for two seconds.

SCARY TF

max canNOT get a break

close the door damn

WHAT RHE SHIT

WHATS GOING ON?!?!? IM SCARED!!!!! /ref

THEY WENT INTO THE DARK ROOM??? FUCK OFF

kitty!

OH HEY I REMEMBER— THE HOUSE BREAK INS THEY MENTIONED EVERY OTHER MINUTE

WHAT RHE FUCK WHAT RHE TUCK EHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

THATS SAFI IM CALLING IT— JK I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW? NO SHOT THATS ACTUALLY MAX?

THIS IS COOL AS FUCK DUDE

OH WAIT OR? MAYA? EITHER WAY THIS IS NOT MAX SHES ACTING WEIRD AF

NOT MAX THAT IS NOT MAX

OH MY GOD LITERALLY WHO ARE YOU

JESUS CHRISTTT

THATS WHAT??? CHLOE CALLED HER????????? SUPERMAX??????

OKAY SO. WHATEVER. WE WERE RIGHT. BUT NO NEED FOR HER TO HAVE CALLED HER SUPERMAX

WHAT RHE FUCK EVER

so!!!! that was fun!!!!!!!! ill collect my thoughts!!!!!! soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHAT I AM SO EXCITED AND DREADFUL

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

bhah ch7 can’t stop won’t stop

lmao Dani being like ‘we should wait to discuss kids til after we’re married’ yes doesn’t seem like a giant thing u should make sure u agree on before u make a major commitment at all

Dani is so in love with Jamie sdjkhdfkjg driving to her house on instinct and just like...gazing at her in her old t-shirt and sweats like you’ve finally seen the light girl just kiss her already

god I can’t believe I have 2 more chapters of them as adults just being the absolute perfect match for each other to get through before they finally kiss in ch 11 (i’m maninfesting it no one say anything) I am literally going to scream. Dani will like... feel a little off and it’s all “i need to go to Jamie’s house and also tell Jamie everything and she will make me tea and let me be myself without all the expectations and I will feel better” I AM VERY HAPPY SHE CAN BE THAT FOR YOU BUT ALSO CAN YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE MS CLAYTON (actually I think she kind of does but she must extract herself from her real life first I guess)

oh no the new chapter is almost here I still have so much to read

forget ‘there was only one bed’ this is now a ‘there was only one tent’ stan blog only

thirsty Dani truly is the funniest I am so sorry ur suffering is so entertaining. Dani: literally whacks her finger with a mallet bc horny for Jamie. Me: uncontrollable chortling

the idea of Dani wrangling 8 year olds that are probably just about as tall as her is too funny. tiny legend

aww the lil background Hannah and Owen moments. cute

Dani in a big ol’ straw hat pls that’s so cute

this Jackie and Jamie situation..... GIVE US THE DEETS

hmmmmnnnnnngggg Jamie just straight down on her knees in front of Dani to tie her shoe lace I will absolutely let u have this gay panic Dani u don’t deserve to be made fun of right now

Jamie “I have a story” absolutely NOT

Viola, emerging from the lake in this no ghosts childhood friends story: surprise bitch

these two drunk idiots are literally teenagers dsjkhdfkgjh just get in ur tent

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life: hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

when we finally get a Jamie on her knees redemption moment-

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life currently taking her clothing off: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck (y’all really wanted to torture her this chapt huh?)

“dawn was a saffron colored suggestion peeking through a pinhole gap in the tent’s zipper” god that’s a pretty sentence can i pls borrow some talent

Jamie and Dani w kids is sooooo cute they have such a nice balance between them

just thinking about if teenage Jamie desperately in love w her bestie could see things now Dani being all into her w all her lingering looks etc how the fuckin turn tables

“Dani kept a firm grip on her sanity” lol

oh my god they’re both drenched in the tent w the soft lamplight and only their own bodyheat to keep warm whatever will they do

oh wait they also have the heat of their burning attraction to each other they’ll be toasty as anything

hhhhngggg abs

that’s like 4 mentions of Jamie on her knees aklhfdkjgkdjh enough

lads is it gay to imagine running ur fingertips over the scar on your friends back before pressing ur lips to it or...?

Jamie taking the time to teach Dani car things aww

lol not the smutty book

eddie honking at her gets so under my skin like my dude... my guy... stop

Dani thinking so hard about rain damp Jamie and how much she wanted to jump her while she’s in the car w her boyf and MIL. girl

imagine if we had to sit through a dani and eddie wedding before she finally managed to call this off how cursed

ayoooo Carson’s show I cannot wait. omg we get it this chapter too gbless this really is the Dani suffering hours

Jamie just so casually like.... not even flirting w Dani it’s all just kinda observations but every other thing she says makes Dani stop breathing skdhfdkfjh this is so good

Dani has like... a lack of object permanence but with Jamie feelings ok

pleeease the Dani Carson road trip that’s so cute I can just imagine what fun they would have had

uuughhh i wanna go to a sweaty bar n listen to loud music again

also would like a Jamie to press their hand to my lower back n make me lose my mind in a sweaty bar to loud music

this lil jamie dani carson trio is my faaaave

“Girls must be all over you.” and Jamie choking on her drink dsfkjsdhkf oh Dani u beautiful naive angel. god that’s so funny

Robin instantly going for Jamie... same bro

Carson’s lil found family band pls my heart is so full

Carson calling them his sisters n Jamie freezing up bby when are u going to accept these people care abt u and love u like family

Robin is so brazenly just like ‘ur hot’. a voice of the people i love her

Dani being lowkey jealous as IF Ms Taylor has eyes for anyone else babe

Carson knoooowwwwws. When do we get the Carson O’Mara biopic please I want his takes on everything I know they’re excellent

oh my god Jamie knowing Dani’s fave kind of pizza pls I love that so much (I can’t remember if it’s been mentioned in the past few chapters but I remember her being mad that Eddie didn’t in CH1? i love this lil detail) (also I literally just ate vegge pizza I feel so immersed in this experience)

dfkgjhdfkjgh Jamie licking her finger and Dani completely combusting this is so entertaining

fuck n then it gets all soft and about how they’ve been in love their whole lives this is emotional whiplash

Jamie constantly in protector mode but in this really quiet comforting way is so sweet I love her so much

god I just feel so bad for Dani that this kind of insane electricity she has with Jamie has probably never been a thing in her relationship w Ed bby u deserve someone that makes u feel like this

awww Carsons bf

Dani’s soul leaving her body when she sees them kissing oh no

Jamie giving Dani her jacket pleeease I am dying here... the romance of it all

and shariing cigarettes and intense looks these two really are somethin else

lmao even Robin is picking up on their vibes you two could level a building with the amount of tension between u

Dani’s moment of Realisation abt Carson n Jamie just being like... well yeah

lmao Dani subtly trying to figure out if Jamie is gettin’ it sdkgdfhkjgh

when these do two finally get together both of them are gonna be like... taken out by all of this. Dani has only ever known Eddie who just does not get her (and the fact that she is a lesbian so she’s never had real feelings for him in that way) and it seems like Jamie has only ever had surface level relationships with people who never really got her either (while also being in love w her best friend who she never thought would love her back). there’s no way this is wont eventually make at least one person cry a bunch (probably me) with how right all of it is

god Dani is so horny for Jamie sdflkdfjgkfdj preemptive RIP for Ms Taylor when Dani finally does get to live out all these daydreams on her I just know someones gonna end up pulling somethin

Does Dani like.... get that she will never love Edmund that way like is she fully aware of the fact she loves him but she’s not in love with him and all these feelings for Jamie aren’t just because it’s Jamie but because she’s not straight??? have we gone on that journey yet

aw Ed waited up for her

the book the book the book

dsfkdhfgkj oh Dani

“Jamie on her knees, looking up at her” listen-

girl u are so fucked

SIX. SIX MENTIONS OF JAMIE ON HER KNEES pls

THE DREAM

who could this possibly be about hmmmm Dani

christ

THE MEASURES SHE TAKES TO DEAL WITH THE DREAM lordt

“baffled but excited” i think is how I almost always picture eddie lol

dang get it girl take control

aw dani u poor confused little duck. i just wanna give her a hug

Dani dressed as Dorothy is awfuly cute

heh Jamie as a wolf i love her fursona

lmao toto

of course Jamie is well aquainted with the bleachers. cheeky. oh no not the art room. Dani dying inside and then imagining herself there with Jamie girl has got it baaaad u poor lil repressed gayby

Dani is... so thirsty... goddamn

lmao Jamie blatantly checking her out are u trying to kill her she already wants to rip ur clothes off

“To the third floor art room?” dfksdhfgkjdfhgjdhf imagine if this was it they just banged it out in the art room right now n got things sorted

god they go from horny to soft so quick i love the ways they care about each other

Jamie saying the scarecrow costume is fitting for Eddie PLEASE

ooh the infamous hickey

What Dani deseves: snuggles. What Dani recieves: struggles

the MEMES. god bless the memes

this was an excellent companion for my Wednesday hopefully I can churn through the rest of em before we are blessed w ch11 amen

[allhailbrokeloose]

let me rant about måneskin and ESC real quick. ~~~for no apparent reason~~~

so i listen to måneskin since 2018. yes, let me brag about it. jk, it's one of the worst things to be proud of. i just happened to be on vacation in italy and every time i turned on the radio there they were. (btw i still listen to Radiofreccia bless them.) so i liked the voice and the music and i though it was pretty unique and very... italian for the lack of a better word.

i came home and bought everything they had on itunes at the moment. i still didn't know what they looked like. i just loved the music. then i googled and long story short they clearly were my type of ppl. but nobody in my circle heard of them. i mean i think they were sort of big in italy and probably somewhat occasionally known in the rest of europe. but clearly the world at large had no clue who they were.

and obv they are extremely talented and hardworking and always have been, and started with music at a young age and played on the streets of rome etc etc. as always their music was freely accessible on the interwebs all this time, but ppl were unaware as always. was it fair? probs no.

and then ESC happened and now måneskin play everywhere and everyone knows them and a whole lotta ppl love them yada yada yada. so many ppl that i couldn't even buy a damn ticket to their show. and a couple of years ago when i was like 'i want to go to måneskin concert in milan' ppl asked me 'manewho?'. now they know who (sorry im still bitter about damn tickets). and even ppl who don't listen to their music know about them and admit that they are talented. and even americans aware of them even though they don't care/don't know about ESC. it would have never happened so fast if it wasn't for ESC. bc ESC gives artists coverage and visibility. ppl at large would never find your music until you literally shove it in their faces.

yes, the post is lowkey abt omar lol. you can see them parallels and we all love parallels. so right now he is popular with a somewhat narrow and somewhat - lets be honest - specific segment of the audience. but is there a chance that there are more ppl out there who may like his music for just what it is? unrelated to him being ExTrEmElY HoTttT and making a very cute simon? the probability is about 101%. does he deserve for the world to love him? im pretty sure he does even tho the world doesn't deserve it

[miracvlovs]

✗✗✗   you see [ kaleb yıldırım ] around lately? yeah i heard that the [ cis male ] is up to no good. [ he / him ] has been here for [ five years ] now but they’re still pretty [ abrasive ] which is fine because they’re also [ debonair ] so it balances out. the [ twenty-eight ] year old [ hitman for hire ] actually looks like a lot like [ alperen duymaz ], don’t you think? it’s best to watch out, though, because it’s been said that they’re really into [ strong cigarettes & even stronger whiskey ].

hey, hello, hi, bonjour! s’up buttercups? ‘tis i, your friendly neighbourhood loser chrissie ( a.k.a an irish doofus who is utter plot trash and the actual WORST at keeping track with discord messages, oops ) and i’m super duper excited to be here among you fab human beings! anywho, this is my first kiddo kaleb and he is … how do you say … morally grey. basically his morals are very questionable in every aspect. but! on the plus side, he’s very talented and good at his job even if he is ruthless and callous, oop. he is … the worst and also lowkey messed up inside tbh so pls excuse his blunt and sarcastic nature. plot-wise i’m open to literally anything and everything so come at me with any ideas ya got! i’m always diggity down to spit ball ideas and form some dope connections so pls feel free to invade my ims or hmu on le cord ( chrissie.#9606 ) and we can brainstorm until our heart’s content! if ya wanna, go ahead and light that lil grey heart up red and i’ll shimmy my butt your way for all of the good stuff. anywho, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?

fundamentals.

KALEB EMER YILDIRIM     —     twenty-eight, hitman for hire,   +   one snarky son of a gun   /   troubled dude with daddy issues   /   all issues tbh ! 

aesthetics   ➤   dried blood caked into the grooves of cut knuckles, the lingering scent of smoke and gasoline, silver slivers of past scarring, five o’clock shadow peppering a blunt jawline, discolourations of blue and purple decorating battered hands, a subtle smirk etched upon a devious countenance, calloused fingertips riddled with small paper cuts, dark circles under almost-black eyes, the noise of screeching tires in the middle of the night, a tall stature adorned in all-black attire, ghosts of bruises staining calloused skin green, a scuffed zippo lighter in a pack of marlboros containing only one cigarette, white shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a sly grin under stormy dark eyes, a sniper on the roof of a deserted building, the roar of a car engine, & clenched, white-knuckled fists.

nicknames. kal.

date of birth. november third.

gender. cis male.

pronouns. he + him.

birthplace. manhattan, nyc.

orientation. bisexual + aromantic.

education. bachelor of music degree obtained from manhattan school of music.

spoken languages. can speak fluent english, turkish, spanish, & french.

negative traits. haughty, abrasive, enigmatic, cynical, temperamental, calculating, hedonistic, distant, sarcastic, & volatile.

positive traits. adept, diligent, charming, resilient, candid, adept, charming, audacious, determined, & resourceful.

strengths. efficient, energetic, self-confident, strong-willed, strategic thinker, charismatic, & inspiring.

weaknesses. stubborn, dominant, intolerant, impatient, arrogant, poor handling of emotions, cold, & ruthless.

talents. piano, retaining information, memory recall, lock-picking, carjacking, hand-to-hand combat, automobile knowledge, tracking people down, & excellent problem-solving abilities. 

physiology. dark brown eyes. dark brown hair. six feet, one inch tall. of a lean, broad stature with a straight posture and evident height. has a few silvery scars littered across his skin. has a few tattoos in a few less visible places. is ambidextrous.

psychology. scorpio zodiac. water element. slytherin house. entj-a. chaotic neutral. type eight enneagram. choleric temperament. interpersonal intelligence type. addicted to alcohol, tobacco, prescription drugs, cocaine, and cannabis. suffers from addiction and insomnia. his vices are lust, wrath and pride. his virtues are ... honestly, probably just diligence tbh.

background.

possible triggers   :   infidelity, divorce, alcoholism, drug abuse, cancer, death, car crash, funeral, blood, murder, suicide mention, gun mention, & various references to death and murder. 

a synopsis.   ah, here he is—my tol, troubled, grouchy son : ' ) don't u just adore ur resident trashy, snarky, but precious and sad fuckboi muse? bc i know I DO! anyways, before i digress, i'll cut to the chase. so, waaay before he blessed the universe with his presence, his mother ( who was originally from turkey ) moved to the states where she met one alexander hale. you can probably guess the rest: the pair married, they had children, everything seemed to be going swimmingly, yada yada. here’s a lil background: the hale family—a line of manhattan-born businessmen / lawyers / diplomats etc. they're dripping in wealth, not always as squeaky clean as they portray themselves as to be. kaleb’s dad was a douche, expected both of his sons to follow in his shadow and become lawyers, ran around behind his wife's back: the whole shoot and shebang of a classic a-hole. he always kind of ignored kaleb in favour of his eldest son joshua so kaleb kinda became hard-hearted and resentful due to the lack of his father's attention. skip a few years and he spied his dad cheating on his mother with his secretary though he refused to tell another soul for fear of any potential backlash. soon enough, his mother found this out for herself, their argument ruined his thirteenth birthday party then they divorced soon after. his mother fell off the wagon, became terminally ill—all while his father was remarrying and expecting a daughter with his secretary. it was a hella rough two years for kaleb. it got even worse. eventually, his mother passed away and his step-mother divorced his father to breeze off into the sunset with her new lover; leaving her daughter with her piss-poor excuse of a dad. at this point, kaleb was lonely and angry but adopted the role of his step-sister's protector, shielding her from their father's increasing substance abuse induced violence. just before his seventeenth birthday, his father died in a car crash. of course, he didn't entirely mourn the loss. almost immediately, he and his younger sister moved in with their elder brother who helped kaleb get into university. with dear ole dad out of the picture, he could finally pursue his interest and flair for music. after he graduated, he moved to santa ysabel with his brother and brother's family. in the beginning, things were going fine. yeah, sure, he was struggling for work and felt bad that his brother had to keep him afloat. normal stuff. then, one day, things quickly turned sour in his world. [ TRIGGER FOR GORE, BLOOD, SUICIDE MENTION, GUN MENTION, MURDER, DEATH ] he’d came home to find the locks on the doors busted, advancing into the house carefully only to find his brother’s lifeless corpse crumbled on the kitchen tiles: his throat and wrists slashed, posed as a suicide. of course, kaleb knew better. he knew his brother; knew he would never leave him or his family. upon further inspection of the house, he’d discovered the body of his wife upstairs: a bullet hole between her eyes. [ TRIGGER OVER ] the whole ordeal was enough to turn his stomach but once the sickness had subsided, all kaleb felt was a strong thirst for blood. sure, it was pretty damn stupid to try and seek revenge or whatnot ... but kaleb had always been one to let his heart guide his brain. anyways, time skip now to the moment he’d uncovered his brother’s entanglement with some dodgy loan shark, drug dealing criminals who were responsible for his murder. in the end, he’d hunted them down and eradicated them one by one, over a span of weeks. at first, he hated himself and what his desire for vengeance had turned him into but he kept going until he’d got them all: until he’d grown numb. truthfully, how he wound up taking lives for a living is beyond him. he woke up one day, found himself hired by some big-wig businessman who wanted rid of his business partner and et voilà, he was tangled up in the dark side of existence. i mean, was he blackmailed into doing his first paid hit? yes. but who can blame him? especially when they claimed to have intel regarding the sudden demise of a prominent figure in the criminal underbelly of the city, a.k.a his brother’s killer. it was a risk kaleb simply couldn’t take. he prefers to keep himself anonymous, hidden behind shadows, unsuspecting. death has become a job. nothing more. nothing less. it’s simply the algorithm of his existence: receive a dossier, take care of the target, get paid a hefty lump sum. and all just for enacting a stranger’s revenge in the blood of another. he moves like a deadly phantom, his footsteps light as a feather, whipping through the night like a bullet through a target’s skull. sartre claims that hell is other people. and if you were to stare into kaleb’s eyes—eyes eerily similar to having been cut from coal—you might just see hell and everyone in it staring right back at you. as nietzsche wrote: “ he who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. and if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. ”

random extras.

he has a lot of small scars over his body, most of which he can’t account for or has forgotten about.

owns and drives a black 1969 boss 429 mustang which he loves arguably more than he loves himself.

speaking of, he actually is full of self-hatred so don’t let the haughtiness fool you.

trusts nobody but himself and is loyal to nobody but himself.

has a lot of anger issues so often ends up taking part in underground fights.

he rates around a solid three on the kinsey scale.

is a distant person; closed-off emotionally and prefers to keep himself to himself.

when it comes to whether or not he is morally decent or an extremely bad person, he is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.

he isn’t heartless but he isn’t exactly compassionate either.

kind of shady but knows how to pass himself as charming. 

has been thru sum shit n seen sum shit so he’s v messed up inside.

though he does have a soft spot for animals and children.

his marksmanship is impeccable.

he’s naturally gifted with firearms and his shot is always on point.

dark eyes and bruised knuckles are his ultimate aesthetic tbh.

actually really appreciates classical music, though he’ll never tell. blame it on his piano lessons from childhood.

speaking of piano, he’s low key gifted at playing although he rarely does these days.

has a very short fuse and can lose his temper quite easily.

he has a good heart and good intentions when it comes to those he actually cares about although he’ll never let this show.

favourite coping mechanism? isolation.

a bit of a lone wolf. he keeps people at arm’s length but acts in a way where people are under the illusion he’s their friend.

basically the tall, dark and handsome trope: ( most of the tall, dark and handsome men display aloof, cold and distant personality but they do have a gentle and caring side. )

is a little snarky and grumpy but if you manage to break this exterior, you’ll find he’s quite witty and easy going.

he got into fighting at a young age. it was the only way to try and learn how to defend himself against his father.

sleep?? he doesn’t know her.

tends to repress his emotions until he explodes.

healthy coping mechanisms?? he doesn’t know them either.

is prone to pushing the self destruct button.

you can find a pinterest board for him by clicking anywhere here.

[fvlminare]

✗✗✗   you see [ camille rivas ] around lately? yeah i heard that the [ cis female ] is up to no good. [ she / her ] has been here for [ three years ] now but they’re still pretty [ calculating ] which is fine because they’re also [ ardent ] so it balances out. the [ twenty-six ] year old [ dancer at mayhem ] actually looks like a lot like [ sofia carson ], don’t you think? it’s best to watch out, though, because it’s been said that they’re really into [ the rush of cocaine in her veins & a vice grip on her throat ]. 

henlo it me again! i hope u guys aren’t sick of me yet bc here’s my other bb! say hello to my boss-ass bish gal camile! she’s sassy, classy and a lil badassy. she’s a rather feisty, fiery, ball of rage and anger who cba with ur bullshit tbh n she’ll tell u this too if u piss her off enough! she’s lowkey cutthroat and always out for number one, aka: herself. but, i mean, she does have some redeeming qualities and her hair is bomb af so that makes up for it all really, doesn’t it? basically that meme: ‘ she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll punch you in the face. ’ anywho, you know the drill, slap a lil luv on this n i’ll come pester u for all the good stuff : - ) 

fundamentals.

CAMILLE ALARA RIVAS     —     twenty-six, dancer at mayhem,   +   an honest-to-god vixen   /   hellcat   /   lil demoness ! 

aesthetics   ➤   dresses of black lace and red velvet, the scent of chanel perfume lingering in the air as she floats past, blood-red fingertips coiled around the pistol grip of a gun, red-bottomed heels clicking against marble floors, rose gold highlighter shimmering along the height of prominent cheekbones, satin dresses draped over a svelte frame that is shrouded in an air of mystery and intrigue, baby pink roses in a vase on the window sill, deft fingers stained with charcoal and oil paint, the melodic chime of piano keys, delicate digits adorned with moonstone gem rings, a coy smile spread across full crimson lips, long raven locks blowing in the cool breeze of a summer’s evening, battered books with dog-eared pages, a sense of freedom and carelessness when dancing for fun, & a sense of allurement and captivation when dancing for work.

nicknames. cam, cami, mil, millie, spawn of satan >:~)

date of birth. april tenth.

gender. cis female.

pronouns. she + her.

birthplace. manhattan, new york.

orientation. pansexual + demiromantic.

education. bachelor of dance degree obtained from nyu tisch school of the arts.

spoken languages. can speak fluent english, spanish, & latin.

negative traits. capricious, ornery, impulsive, guileful, caustic, brusque, obstinate, destructive, deceptive, & promiscuous.

positive traits. ardent, whimsical, intrepid, graceful, poised, elegant, headstrong, observant, independent, & confident.

strengths. optimistic, energetic, creative, practical, spontaneous, rational, knows how to prioritise, great in a crisis, & relaxed.

weaknesses. stubborn, insensitive, private, reserved, easily bored, dislikes commitment, & has a rather risky behaviour.

talents. ballet, knife throwing, hand-to-hand combat, horse riding, figure skating, piano, violin, painting, singing, & dancing.

physiology. hazel eyes. dark brown hair. five feet, four inches tall. of a petite, slender stature with subtle curves and long hair. has a long silvery scar on her back. her skin is clean of any tattoos. has both earlobes pierced. requires glasses but wears contacts most days. is right-handed.

psychology. aries zodiac. fire element. ravenclaw house. istp-a. true neutral. type seven enneagram. choleric temperament. intra-personal intelligence type. addicted to alcohol, tobacco, and cannabis. suffers from addiction and abandonment issues. her vices are lust, greed and wrath. her virtues are ... ( again ) honestly, probably just diligence tbh.

background.

possible triggers   :   child abandonment, abandonment issues, foster homes, alcohol, drugs, violence, gore, blood, murder, & death.

a synopsis.   ok so for this gal, let’s all give a big, warm welcome to sadness ( no, i was in no way at all inspired by salem from sabrina for that line ) bc boy oh boy, her life has been constant grief and pain, tbh. strap in for the bumpy ride, i’ll give u cookies for compensation. OK SO, camille was abandoned as a baby, never did—and still doesn't—know her biological parents and she doesn’t want to either, tbh. she bounced around from foster home to foster home, never sticking in one place for too long. given her turbulent upbringing, she was somewhat of a difficult child. too boisterous, too unruly, too stubborn, too inquisitive. too much of everything but never enough of anything. never enough for anybody to want her. it didn’t take the girl too long to figure out that it was just her alone, against the big bad world. from the age that she was old enough to realise it, camille knew that she had to fend for herself—that she could never truly rely on a single soul but herself. the hollowness inside her chest never quite satiated, leaving her empty and only too well aware of the lack of her real parental figures. as a young adolescent, this started to crawl under her skin and mess with her mind. it rendered her void of affection and unable to form genuine bonds with others—filling her with deep-rooted resentment that festered beneath the surface of the indifferent demeanour she plastered over herself every day. she always felt starved of love: as if some integral part of her heart was missing, leaving a gaping void that nobody could ever fill. anywho, she fell in with the wrong crowd which did little to aid her foster families hostility toward her. truthfully, most of her experiences in various homes were ... not pleasant. she’d encountered abusive ‘parents,’ horrible ‘siblings,’ and even worse schooling days. pressing the self-destruct button is this gal’s speciality thus she found herself gravitating towards her vices: things and people she knew were no good for her. drink, drugs, people, you name it. quickly, she realised that these things were no longer any good at keeping her dark side at bay: she needed something more, something deeper. thus, she began going down the road of petty crimes—stealing cars, smashing windows, theft, setting fires both metaphorically and literally. due to this lifestyle, she wound up entangled with some real shady folk who did … even shadier things. most specifically, she started dating a real jackass who was violent and truthfully, a horrible person, really. stupidly, she decided to run off into the metaphorical sunset with him * insert eye roll emoji here. * so, fast forward a year or so and things took a swift nosedive when her lowlife boyfriend’s hands were round her throat and not in the kinky way. while she’d clawed at him and tried to fight him off, she struggled against his weight and strength until, eventually, she lifted the first makeshift weapon she felt: a rusted pair of scissors. [ TRIGGER FOR VIOLENCE, GORE, BLOOD, MURDER, DEATH ] and, in a blind state of panic, she jammed them right into his jugular vein, his blood squirting out and decorating her face in crimson splatters. he’d stumbled backwards, clutched onto his neck, blood spurting from the webs between his fingers. naturally, camille was shook about this but somehow managed to flee the scene with less guilt rattling her soul than she’d imagined. [ TRIGGER OVER ] in her mind, it was an act of self defence. it wasn’t too long after the incident that she found herself in a rather perilous situation that resulted in her sudden realisation that she needed to get her damn life on track. therefore, she done the responsible adult thing and got herself a decent education. somehow, she managed to get into university where her life started to shape into a positive one—the kind she’d always dreamed of. once she graduated, camille decided that she wanted to see the world. following a couple of years travelling, she wound up in santa ysabel where she quickly fell into the employment of mayhem. admittedly, this was a far cry from the future she’d envisioned when she was just a sweet, innocent lil child. still, all in all, she kind of digs who she is and what she is: after everything she’s been through, she loves herself. it’s been a long and winding road but camille finally believes that she’s settled in her life now. tho she still refuses to let people in, her abandonment issues terrifying her to the degree that she feels that anybody she’d ever let into her life would eventually leave her in the end. * insert sad face emoji here. *

random extras.

her tell? playing with her hair: when she’s lying, nervous, flirting—you name it!

can drink any man under the table. 

she loves art in every form: paintings, sculptures, music, dance, people, etc. she loves the freedom that expressing herself through these mediums gives her.

she’s ... experimental. she’s experimented with just about everything: hairstyles, clothing, drink, drugs, people ...

can be hella calculating and vindictive so do not cross her.

quite power-hungry tbh.

she does have a shot at redemption but she doesn’t want it lmao. she’s already been to hell so why bother trying to right her wrongs?

and boy, are her wrongs a century-long list shkjsh.

high key is not above killing people who don’t do things her way.

doesn’t believe she’s capable of loving anyone.

she’s lowkey a perfectionist to the point of being ruthless, also cutthroat and egotistical.

if ya ain’t of use to her, then what the heck is ur purpose???

she’s v ambitious, v morally ambiguous, v self-serving and v self-involved.

she can be ... aggressive sometimes and most definitely has anger issues.

dry sense of humour one million per cent.

her signature look is her blood-red lips.

extremely skilled with knives and blades. and always carries one on her person at all times.

her most prized possession is her brushed chrome zippo lighter. it has her initials engraved into it and where she got it from, or who is something she’ll never tell.

always says she needs to quit smoking but never does and probably never will either.

did someone say ... resting bitch face???

tho when she smiles it’s like sunshine uwu

high key will sleep with anyone.

first place is the ONLY acceptable place, ok??? 

one of those people who just excels at everything she tries her hand at.

absolutely adores animals. much prefers them to humans.

she’s quite adventurous and loves to feel the adrenaline in her blood.

doesn’t take herself or her life too seriously.

always up for a good time and is usually the life of the party.

outspoken and quick-witted with a sharp tongue.

much too sassy and sarcastic for her own good.

really, she does what she wants to, when she wants to, without seeking the approval of others.

truthfully? she’s a bit of a spitfire if you really irk her. so, watch out.

you can find a pinterest board for her by clicking anywhere here.

[yanyan-chen]

COLLEGE AUーDING ZEREN pt.1

•have you seen this boy dance??

•because WOW

•did i fall for him the second he started dancing???? yes

•ok on with the story

•zeren has been dancing for as long as he could remember,,

•boy was probably dancing in his mother’s womb lol

•whenever he heard music, his body couldn’t help but move along to the beats no matter where he was. like he’d tap his feet,, or bop his head,, or do little arm movements,,,sometimes he forgets about his surroundings,,,,like once,,, he was at a cafe w his friends right

•and he started grooving to the song,,,and as the song went on, his movements got wider,,,and then his elbow hit quanzhe’s drink

•let’s just say that zeren spent almost the entire day trying to remove the stain from the poor kid’s shirt

•only to have to spend $30 buying a new shirt

•and have quanzhe swear that he’ll never sit next to zeren again

•anyways,,

•he’s been in various dance competitions and either won first or second place, never anything less

•dancing was something that meant a lot to him. whenever he was stressed or overwhelmed, he would dance to relax his mind

•so when he got to college, he obviously chose to be a dance major

•he even became one of the leaders of the university’s dance team and always performed at festivals

•dance team also consisted of zhengting, jieqiong, and chengxiao

•so speaking of the dance team

•they were holding auditions soon to recruit two more members to fill in for the members that just graduated

•guess who decided to try out!!!

•if you guessed that it was you

•ding ding ding zeren you’re correct

•dancing was also something that you loved ever since you were a kid

•you loved how dancing allowed you to freely express yourself through all sorts of movements and there were no restrictions on what you had to do

•contrary to your life

•your parents expected you to become a doctor or just anything in the medical field. nothing else was allowed. they always disregarded your dreams and forced you to live the way they wanted you to. they’re always comparing you to their friends’ children too. like “so-and-so got accepted to one of the top universities. why aren’t you putting in more effort to be like him?” “so-and-so got all 100s on her report card, why aren’t you putting in more effort to be like her?”

•”why aren’t you putting in more effort to” was a phrase that you constantly heard throughout your life. they were never satisfied with your accomplishments. whenever you get high 90s on anything, they ask why didn’t you get 100s. they always say you don’t put in enough effort or you’re doing things half-heartedly when you really work as hard, if not harder, than the highest achievers. even when you get academic awards, they say “that’s how it should be”

•all you want is for them to acknowledge your achievements even if it’s just ONCE

•so when you got to college, you decided to go to one that was far from your home

•it also so happened to be the one your best friend, chengcheng, was going to, so you were more than content. you chose to be a pharmaceutical sciences major to satisfy your parents’ wish, but chose to try out for the dance team so you had something you were interested in in college. you wanted to join in your first year of college, but it was full ///:

•but not anymore !!

•so! onto auditions

•it was set to be in the afternoon exactly a week after the first semester began, and chengcheng went with you for support, but also because another good friend of his would be there

•you sat in one of the seats as you waited for your turn, and everyone was really talented so you were lowkey Shook™ and wanted to run away bc there’s no way that you can win against them?? but chengcheng wouldn’t let you

•when it was finally your turn, you were like !!!! the whole time you walked onto the stage. it’s not like you lacked confidence or anything, you were just nervous........cause y’kno......one of the judges was none other than THE ding zeren

•you’ve always watched him dance at festivals and you admired him a lot. not only did he have good as hECK looks, but he was such a skilled dancer

•but hey, you weren’t the only one admiring him. bc at one of the festivals, he was walking around w the dance team when he noticed you at your group’s stand selling snacks and his heart skipped a beat bc ?? you’re so beautiful ??? who are you ??? and before he could go to you, zzt pulled him away saying that they needed to prepare to perform soon. so today, he was determined to find out who you are and talk to you. but then he looked at your application form and was surprised bc ?? a pharmaceutical major?? joining the dance team???? everyone that auditioned so far were dance majors or fine arts majors. so as cute as you were, he was ready to complain to ting about how they’re gonna waste their time by watching your performance bc he really wasn’t expecting you to know how to dance, but no he froze the second you started moving. you were so graceful ??? and you controlled all of your movements so well. you hit every beat of the song and you gained more confidence as you danced

•soon, it was over and zeren over here was like :O

•so were all the other dance team members tbh

•cause, as yixing would’ve said, you had the balance

•they all unanimously agreed to recruit you

•after a couple more people performed, the dance members got together to choose the last person to join. then, zhengting came up on the stage. “thank you to all of you for showing your interest in joining our dance team!! you all are very talented, but sadly, we can only choose two members” he proceeded to give a little speech about how they shouldn’t give up even if they aren’t selected and that they should try again next time. when he finally announced the names, you were on the edge of your seat with your hand tightly holding chengcheng’s. “the first member we are accepting is.......zhou yanchen!” the auditorium erupted in applauds, and it took a few minutes for it to die down. “and the last member is....” you could only vaguely hear your name bc chengcheng immediately started screaming and jumped out of his seat. “I TOLD YOU THAT YOU’D MAKE IT I’M SO PROUD OF YOU” he’s such a precious kid i love him. lots of people were applauding for you too. you were still in shock when chengcheng shook you and nodded his head towards the stage, indicating you were supposed to be going up. you quickly stood up and nearly tripped as you made your way to the stage. you and yanchen bowed to the audience and judges before thanking them. the whole time, zeren couldn’t take his eyes off of you. he was awestruck by your talent and on top of that, you were gorgeous bro

•after auditions, chengcheng ran up onto the stage where you still stood, talking to yanchen. you saw him running up and expected him to go to you,, but nope he turned the opposite way and went up to zeren

•was he the friend that chengcheng was talking about??? THE ding zeren is friends with your idiot chengcheng?????? you were frozen as you stood there, staring at chengcheng and zeren speaking

•you only snapped out of it when zhengting came and started to tell you and yanchen more details about practice

•fast forward to a week later

•spring was coming !!! meaning that the spring festival was coming soon!! fun activities !!! cool performances !!!! gOoD fOoD !!!!!!!!

•so it’s been a decent amount of time since you were accepted, so you became fairly close with all of the members, especially yanchen and chengxiao. you and zeren only had small talk every now and then about the choreography, when practices were, or something stupid that chengcheng did recently

•anw back to the festival! the committee in charge of getting the festival ready decided bring back the romance concept. cause y’kno like flowers, love blossoms during the spring. i’m so poetic

•for the acts, you guys decided to send three groups to perform a medley of couple dances

•the pairings were chengxiao and zhengting, jieqiong and yanchen, and............you and zeren

•you were surprised when zhengting announced the pairings.........bc omg you were gonna dance with ding zeren..........to a couple song !!!!!!!!

•zhengting said the names were randomly chosen but he’s a liar he lowkey thought you two would look cute together but he totally wasn’t planning on telling anyone that. zeren was hoping you’d be his partner too tbh so the boy was thrilled to hear his name being called with yours. he’d been wanting to get to know you more but he never knew what to say or was too shy. but he managed to muster up the courage to ask if you were free that weekend to come up with a choreography

•you were super excited bro

•but had to come off chill so you were like oh,,,, yeah sure

•but on the inside you were screaming with joy

•when the weekend came, zeren knocked on your door. taking a deep breath, you checked your reflection in the mirror quickly before opening the door. you smiled and greeted him as he greeted you back, flashing a grin that exposed his dimples. your heart almost jumped out of your chest because wow he’s so adorable and good-looking??? he was dressed in sweatpants and a normal t-shirt.......but still....how can someone look so good???? you probably looked like a bum

•that’s not what zeren thought though. he thought you looked pretty with your hair tied up, a couple of loose strands framing your face. his gaze went down to your lips and noticed the shade of lipstick you applied was slightly lighter than what you usually had on before they quickly went back up to your eyes. neither of you realized you were just staring at each other until your roommate coughed, making you both flustered before zeren spoke up

•”oh, uh, ready to go?”

•“yeah! let’s go”

•so you both headed over to the practice room. it was kind of an awkward walk bc neither of you knew what to say nor have you been alone together. but halfway there, zeren decided to ask you something he’s been curious about

•“so...how come you’re not a dance major?”

•”ah...my parents didn’t want me to choose that. they wanted me to have a medical profession. it’s fine though, as long as they’re happy.”

•he noticed the hint of sadness in your voice as you said the last sentence, so he chose not to question you further. upon arriving at the practice room, you guys jumped right into it. first, you needed to choose a song. you and zeren looked through a list of songs prepared by ting and didn’t take long to settle with say you won’t let go by james arthur. as you listened to the song, your bodies flowed with the melody. but since this is a love song...........you had to be fairly intimate......and the thing is....... you were both flustered messes. you were either tripping over your own feet or you stepped onto each other’s feet. but overall, you guys were doing well, like you got most of what you needed down. so, you decided to call it a day and head back to your dorm rooms. as you were going back, you debated whether you should ask zeren to join you for dinner since it was already 7pm, but before you opened your mouth, zeren invited you to go to a restaurant with him. the restaurant that he took you to was relatively small and close to campus. as soon as you walked in, you were greeted by a warm aroma of freshly cooked noodles. an elderly woman, whom you assumed was the owner, cheerfully welcomed you in and led you to a table. she took your orders and before she left, she commented that this was the first time zeren came in with a girl and not his rowdy friends, causing zeren to groan and usher her to go away. she only smiled innocently before disappearing into the kitchen. shortly after, she came out with two bowls of noodles

•and it was love at first sight because they looked SO GOOD and after you finished drooling over the food, you tasted it and the taste was even better than its appearance like omg where has this restaurant been all my life. and as you ate your food, zeren started to ask you questions like “when did you start to dance?” and “why do you like to dance?” and once you gave your answers, he’d share his own answers before you asked him some questions

•and this went back and forth until both your bowls were empty. you could feel yourself opening up more with each question and the same thing goes for zeren. zeren hasn’t been able to feel this comfortable around someone that he wasn’t close to before. he really enjoyed being in your company and wished he had talked to you sooner afterwards, he walked you to your dorm before going to his own

•during the next couple of days, you and zeren spent more time together in the practice room (and quickly finished the choreo) and inevitably grew closer. as that happened, you started to notice that you’d see him around campus more often. one morning, you walked by his lecture room and saw him standing outside. you asked him why he didn’t go in and he answered that his teacher was late so he just waited outside. this continued every morning though like you’d see him just standing there on his phone or looking through a notebook, and when you walked by he’d always greet you with a smile and ask if you slept well or make some kind of small talk

•and you’d be lying if you said that wasn’t your favorite way to start your mornings

•he gave you coffee once saying that they messed up his order so he got another coffee for free but for some reason the “messed up” coffee was exactly how you liked your coffee so you were like ???

•other times, you’d pass by him on campus and he’d always wave enthusiastically with both hands no matter how far he was from you and honestly that’s just the cutest thing ever. or he would end the conversation with whoever he was talking to and then run over to you and ask where you were going next and he’d walk with you to your next class

•one morning, you walked by zeren’s class and didn’t see him. you thought that he must’ve just overslept, so you continued to your class. but afterwards, you still didn’t see him at the usual spots that he’d be hanging around, so you decided to call him, but he didn’t pick up. when you saw one of his friends walk by, you asked if he’s seen zeren but he said he hasn’t seen him since yesterday afternoon. worried, you decided to head over to his dorm to see if he was there. as you were walking to his dorm, it started to rain. you cursed under your breath as you began to run to the dormitory, but you still ended up getting soaked. upon arriving, you walked down the hallway, unsure which room was his. probably should’ve thought of that before coming but anw. as you continued down the hall, chengcheng came out of one of the rooms and saw you. “HEY, IT’S Y/N! wait, are you okay? you might catch a cold like that”

•”i’m fine! don’t worry. have you seen zeren? i haven’t seen him all morning and he wasn’t picking up my calls so i wanted to check if he was okay”

•”have you checked the library? he was having trouble sleeping last night so he went there”

•”oh, i’ll go there now. thanks” and you turned to leave but then started sneezing continuously. chengcheng took off his hoodie and threw it over your head

•”put that on. you’re already getting sick” and you thanked him again before pulling it over your head and going to the library. chengcheng just watched you leave and sighed. “they obviously like each other but they’re too dumb to realize it”

•when you got to the library, you went all around it but couldn’t find him. as you were leaving, you bumped into zhengting. you asked if he’s seen zeren, and he replied that zeren just woke up and is heading over to his class now. you were relieved to hear that he was okay, but now you were concerned about yourself because you were shivering and constantly sneezing. zhengting offered to take you to the infirmary or get some medicine for you bc he’s an angel but you declined and said that you should head to class now. anyways after all your classes were over, you went over to the practice room to rehearse. zeren came slightly later than the planned time, and you noticed that he wasn’t his usual upbeat self. like he greeted you half-heartedly and there was just a negative aura surrounding him. and you would’ve tried to cheer him up but you honestly had no stamina left like you really should’ve taken some medicine before coming

•and because of your lack of stamina, you began getting frustrated because you were constantly half a beat off. you could tell zeren was feeling frustrated too but he was trying to hold it in. but as soon as you stepped on his foot for the third time that day, he couldn’t control it anymore. “what’s wrong with you? why aren’t you putting any effort into this? is it because it’s not your major so you don’t care?” you would’ve been fine if he had only said the last sentence. but no his first sentences hit you hard, because memories of all the times that your parents said that to you came rushing back. you immediately grabbed your things and rushed out of the practice room, leaving zeren there alone. his frustration dissipated when he saw the upset expression on your face as you left. he let out a sigh as he went to the back of the room and sat down, leaning against the wall. not too long after you left, chengcheng came running in looking for you

•”where’s y/n??”

•“oh...she just left. why?”

•“i have some medicine for her cold. she was running all over the place looking for you even though it was pouring outside”

•and that’s when it hit him. you got sick while you were worrying about him, and yet you were trying your best to practice

•and he even yelled at you. feeling guilty, he grabbed the medicine from chengcheng and ran out of the practice room

•chengcheng just froze there and stared at his hand

•like bro what just happened

•zeren ran out of the performing arts building but then stopped. where could you have gone?? he contemplated calling you but he doubted you’d pick up. then, he remembered about the place you’d always go to when something upset you

•the rooftop

•the boy nearly flew up the stairs at the speed that he was running at. when he opened the door, he found you sitting with your back against the wall, one earbud in your ear, and your eyes closed. he took in a deep breath as he slowly approached you. you were slightly startled when you felt something nudge you, but relaxed when you saw it was zeren. “uh...hey. here’s your medicine”

•“oh, thanks”

•you were quiet as he explained, slowly starting to feel bad for storming out on him after how badly his day was going. you forgave him, saying that you understood why he acted that way after all that he went through before explaining exactly why you were upset by what he said. he listened attentively as you talked about your parents and all the expectations they had for you, and how they always dismissed it when you met those expectations, and how they were never supportive of you. he apologized again before pulling you into a hug, mumbling how he never meant to hurt you like that, or at all for that matter. you were surprised at first, but quickly returned the hug. zeren decided that there was no way that you could practice in this condition, so he took you back to your dorm. he came back not too long after leaving and brought you a bowl of noodle soup. you expected him to leave afterwards because you were more than thankful that he was that thoughtful, but no he invited himself in saying “my mom said that you should never leave a sick person alone so here i am. let’s watch a movie”

•and that’s how your roommate walked in to a sleeping you and zeren wrapped in a blanket and snuggling on the couch with hercules still playing and an empty bowl on the table

•she def took pictures for future references, and you were both embarrassed messes when she woke you up

•a couple days before the festival, you were completely well again and the three groups practiced together. everything went smoothly and you were all satisfied with how it went. on d-day, you were slightly nervous because this was the first time that you would be performing in front of such a hUGE crowd. but everyone in the dance team especially zeren reassured you that you would do great. after watching a couple of the performances, it was finally your group’s turn. the performance went so much better than you expected. like as soon as you stepped onto the stage, your nervousness melted away. the crowd loved the performance too like they were cheering louder than they did for the other ones

��so yeah!! spring fest performance was a big success, and zeren decided to ask you to go to disney to celebrate with him

•and of course you agreed

•and yanchen overheard him inviting you and he was like wow we used to be best buddies how could u leave me out

•unofficial date at disney!

part two

[coquuin]

really LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog  !  good  luck  !

TAGGED. i stole it from Kiki!! TAGGING. whoever wants to do it!!

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Ezekiel Axel Ruiz Rosario

NICKNAME: Zeke

AGE: (Verse dependent) anywhere from 19 to 25! most often tho, i usually make him 25.

BIRTHDAY: November 15 (self given bc he doesnt know his real birthday)

ETHNIC GROUP: Puerto Rican / Latino

NATIONALITY: British-American

LANGUAGE(S): English, Spanish, Dutch, Japanese, Latin, Romanian, some Russian, and some Chinese! he likes to study languages a lot....

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demi-Pansexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demi-Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Hes multiship boiiii

CLASS: Upper class, though he really doesnt have very expensive tastes or anything. Seems like he’d be lower class, but. yknow, he is a celebrity so.

HOMETOWN / AREA: London, England

CURRENT HOME: A very small and shitty apartment. Yeah, he could get a much better home bc he does have the money, but... hes weird and likes a more slightly cramped space. dont question Ezekiel, he has weird preferences.

PROFESSION: Guitarist of the rock band Rogue! also used to work at a music shop when he was like 17, but that was back in London.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Very curly and messy black hair! He hardly bothers to take care of it. its prolly greasy bc hes a fucking gremlin pls make him take a shower. stinky boye

EYES: BIG OL FUCKIN EYES. they’re brown! a little sunken, and has massive bags under them--rather than the bags being from lack of sleep, though, theyre actually a result of too much sleep! Ezekiel can and WILL fall asleep wherever and whenever he wants. you cant stop him. his eyes are pretty big actually, and very expressive!

NOSE: the bitch looks like its been broken like ten times. he got a weird ass nose. its a little big, but not terribly so!

FACE: scrawny as FUCK. motherfucker’s head shape looks like a fuckin crescent moon. you know that one tiktok meme with the girl who has the weird ass moon lookin head? bitch looks like that a little bit. croissant lookin ass head.

LIPS: very thin! pls get him some chapstick

COMPLEXION: bitch looks like he hasnt gone out in the sun in over 20 years! which, actually, isnt entirely wrong bc he pretty much hasn’t. pale as fuck! his skin looks gray, like a fucking corpse. he looks like a zombie, but i swear to god hes a plain ass human i think

BLEMISHES: a lot! mostly on his body tho, especially on his back.

SCARS: A  L O T!!! his back is literally covered in a shit ton of scars in the shape of upside down crosses, and he has a lot on the rest of his body as well, and several on his left wrist. yeah he, uh... he aint okay

TATTOOS: None! hes way too terrified to get one and hates the idea of one being stuck on his body for like the rest of his life rip

HEIGHT: 6′ 3″ / 190.05cm

WEIGHT: about like... 98lbs?? which is. fUCKING TERRIBLE FOR HOW TALL HE IS!!! LIKE HOLY SHIT EZEKIEL ARE YOU GOOD??? HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!?! EZEKIEL?!?!?!?! FUCKING EAT SOMETHING PL EASE

BUILD: SCRAWNY AS SHIT. HE IS SO SKINNY HOLY SHIT. OH MY GOD GET THIS BOY A FUCKING BURGER OR SOMETHING BEFORE HE DIES JESUS CHRIST!!!!

ALLERGIES: Dandelions! He’ll just sneeze a lot around them

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: The bangs are kiiiinda kept to the side sorta just so its not falling in his eyes, but other than that, he doesnt really bother to like, style it or anything. its just curly and messy. although! when he was a child all the way to his teens, he did have a stupid ass bowlcut! but that wasnt his own choice, so he cant really be blamed for it :(

USUAL FACE LOOK: motherfucker has the WORST case of resting bitch face you will ever fucking see. even when hes happy he still looks angery sometimes!!! but thats literally just his fucking face!!!!

USUAL CLOTHING: a looot of slightly baggy clothing. lots of hoodies! especially wears a lot of black and red, mostly black. also wears mostly boots or sneakers, usually the ladder. he just doesnt really give two shits about fashion, as he’s more concerned with just sorta.. hiding his body. hes very insecure! save him

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): "the devil”, getting close to anyone, performing in front of people, people in general, cats, knives & other sharp objects, the sight of his own blood

ASPIRATION(S): "to escape the Devil’s wrath,” as he phrases it. of course, the whole ‘THE DEVIL IS OUT TO KILL EVERYONE I LOVE AND THEN HE’LL KILL ME NEXT’ thing is obviously just in Ezekiel’s head, but it feels very real to him! he basically just wants to be free of the “demons” in his head. aside from that, he also really really reeaaally wants to own an orphanage someday! basically take in orphan kids and help give them a much better life than he had. but as for right now, he fully realizes he’s not ready for that at all, so he’s currently more focused on his music career and getting better mentally, though the ladder is a slow process.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Patient, simple, humble

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Rude, temperamental, paranoid

ZODIAC: Scorpio!

TEMPERAMENT: uhhhh fuck idk i just took a quiz for this and ezekiel got like a tie between phlegmatic and melancholic--but if i had to guess, i’d say melancholic!

SOUL TYPE(S): Spiritualist!

ANIMALS: i always associate Ezekiel with dogs bc. he literally just acts like a fuckin angery dog. and an angery snake or something. bUT MOSTLY DOGS. he will literally bark at people, because he’s a fucking weirdo who doesnt know how to behave like a normal fucking human being

VICE  HABIT(S): uhhh drugs and alcohol are a big thing he does!! and generally pushing everyone away so he doesnt get close to anyone! and also acting like a gotdam ANIMAL. SOMEONE PLS MAKE EZEKIEL STOP FUCKING BARKING AND HISSING AT PEOPLE!!!

FAITH: Christian! his religion is very important to him too!

GHOSTS?: Yes!

AFTERLIFE?: Yes!

REINCARNATION?: He isn’t really sure about reincarnation, but wants to believe it exists.

ALIENS?: Yes.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: fuck if he knows. ezekiel could not give less of a shit about politics and hardly knows anything about it bc he really doesnt keep up with anything.

SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: he doesnt give a fuck

EDUCATION LEVEL: None. he never even went to school, fun fact!

FAMILY.

FATHER: Dead!

MOTHER: Dead!

SIBLINGS: None!

EXTENDED FAMILY: None!

NAME MEANING(S): Ezekiel means “God will strengthen”! I have no idea what Rosario means sadly bc i cant find anything good on it on google :(

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None that he knows of.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: He couldn’t possibly pick a single favorite book--he loves a lot! but he loves mostly romance genres! which is so fucking ironic considering he’s fucking terrified of getting into relationships. and even more ironically? he doesnt read any horror genres bc it scares him too much!

MOVIE: he doesn’t know.

5 SONGS: While My Guitar Gently Weeps - the Beatles; Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd; Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin; Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen; Don’t Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult.

DEITY: God, Jesus

HOLIDAY: Christmas! everyone expects Ezekiel to be like the grinch or something and hate Christmas, but nope! He surprisingly loves it!

MONTH: March

SEASON: Fall

PLACE: His bed

WEATHER: Preferably a little cold, but not too much, bc he just cant stand being hot--and completely dark outside!

SOUND: Gentle guitar strums.

SCENT(S): Ivory

TASTE(S): Anything thats like. Meat. hes very picky tho

FEEL(S): Skin. As in, like, being affectionate with someone else! He’s just very touch starved rip

ANIMAL(S): Yknow, oddly enough, despite acting like a fuckin wild animal a lot, he doesnt like animals much. but definitely dogs are his favorite!

NUMBER: 20

COLORS: Red and black--though he likes blue as well, especially dark blue.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Music--especially with guitar! And painting, writing, literature.

BAD AT: Anything to do with math or science and stuff like that; anything that requires physical work. hes p much bad at like.. most things tbh.

TURN ONS: Just like.. be soft and gentle with him... also probably has a lowkey praise kink--if you could call it much of a kink i guess? hes pretty vanilla tbh. hes just soft.....

TURN OFFS: If you go rough on him at all he WILL cry. Also anything that, like, restricts him like ropes or some shit will literally make him panic so fucking bad. basically hes just vanilla as fuck, just be gentle with him pls

HOBBIES: Writing / playing music, writing in general, painting, watching random ass movies on TV until he falls asleep, sleeping, avoiding his problems like the fuckin wind

TROPES: man fuck if i know

AESTHETIC TAGS: literally all of Aurelio Voltaire’s songs; shit you’d see in Halloween (which is funny bc Ezekiel fucking hates Halloween); vampires; satanic symbolism. which is all ironic, bc Ezekiel doesnt actually like spooky shit! but it all sure does give big Ezekiel vibes anyway

GPOY  QUOTES: huh

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC(S): Jack the ripper from, well, Oyasumi Jack the Ripper!

ALT FC(S): None!

OLDER FC(S): None!

YOUNGER  FC(S): None rip

VOICE CLAIM(S): Murdoc Niccals from Gorillaz

GENDERBENT FC(S): iiiiii dont really do genderbends pretty much so none

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:

Honestly probably something like the movie Sybil??? like basically just delving deep into his whole psychology and mindset and whatnot and why he acts the way he acts. those are always like my FAVORITE type of movies, and Ezekiel would honestly be fucking perfect for something like that bc literally every single aspect of his entire personality has been molded in some way shape or form by some event in his life, especially to do with the cult he was raised in, and it hONESTLY IS SO INTERESTING TO JUST LIKE.. STUDY WHAT EZEKIELS BRAIN IS LIKE BASICALLY. AT LEAST FOR ME ANYWAY BC I AM HIS MUN AND ALL BUT.

Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:

for some reason i always kinda associate him with like edgy violin and piano music?? i mean hey rock stars can be classy too fuck u

Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:

WELL ORIGINALLY WHEN I FIRST CREATED HIM HE WAS JUST BASED OFF MURDOC NICCALS BC, YALL ALREADY KNOW DAMN WELL IM OBSESSED WITH THAT PICKLE MAN, BUT. Now, however, he’s WAAAAAAAAY different and i just love writing him so much bc like. basically like what i said in the movie question!! he is SO fucking interesting to delve into psychology wise. like, yeah he has an edgy ass tragic backstory, but whats neat about that is you can absolutely see how said edgy backstory ties into his mindset and individual habits and how the memories of it still affects his everyday life despite the fact that he’s escaped it a long time ago now. even in the small things he does, chances are is that every single thing that he does is either something he does to soothe and comfort himself for his own safety, or something that has just been fucking drilled into his mind by the cult members and whatnot, if any of that makes sense? LIKE YALL DONT UNDERSTAND I HAVE LITERALLY WATCHED LIKE HOURS LONG DOCUMENTARIES ON ORPHANAGES AND SATANIC CULTS AND PSYCHOLOGY AND HOW TRAUMA LIKE WHAT EZEKIEL EXPERIENCED CAN FUCK SOMEONE UP, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF WRITING HIM CORRECTLY AND REALISTICALLY. LIKE HE STARTED OFF AS SOME MURDOC NICCALS REJECT WHEN I MADE HIM IN LIKE?? 2015 MAYBE??? BUT NOW, MY MAIN INTEREST IN HIM IS LIKE, HOW FASCINATING HIS FUCKING MIND IS IN A WAY. idk im a big psychology nerd but.

Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:

Murdoc

Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:

him pushing everyone away! like its one thing to have a self-defense mechanism like where you just generally act kinda mean to drive people off, but Ezekiel can really take it to a whole new level and he really can be like.. a hUGE ASSHOLE BC OF IT. its mostly when he realizes that he may be starting to become close with anyone that it really gets to a bad point and he becomes all the more self-destructive. THIS IS GONNA BE VERY UNSANITARY SO WARNING BUT hes literally told someone in an rp once like “YOURE GOING TO FORCE ME TO EAT YOUR SHIT OR DRINK YOUR FUCKING URINE JUST LIKE THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE ORPHANAGE DID, ARENT YOU???? IS THAT WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME?? TO USE ME, HURT ME, CUT ME, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT??? WE ARE NEVER GOING TO BE FUCKING FRIENDS YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!! WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU THINK WE HAD ANYTHING IN COMMON??” AND ITS JUST KINDA.. YIKES SCOOB! but basically hes willing to say just about anything to push people away so he can avoid getting close to anyone

Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:

WE BOTH FEAR AND AVOID ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS LIKE THE FUCKIN WIND. also when i was younger i definitely had a tendency to try and make people hate me just to push people away like Ezekiel does but im not like that anymore thankfully!!

Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:

oh hed probably try to fucking kill me lol

Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?

HONESTLY LIKE.. P MUCH EVERY INTERACTION EZEKIEL HAS IS SO GOOD. Ezekiel is one of those characters where its very hard to have a boring rp bc he just does so much shit, so like no matter who i rp him with, its bound to be amazing. ALTHOUGH I DO NEED TO MAKE HIM INTERACT WITH MORE PEOPLE TBH!!! the only problem i have when writing him sometimes is actually making him talk to new people, bc of his extreme shut-in attitude and whatnot, so he literally just never starts conversations with anyone he barely knows.

Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?:

listening to any music that reminds me of him! but otherwise, it usually just comes pretty naturally to me tbh. just some days ill be in the mood for him all day--same with a lot of my characters actually.

Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:

A LONG ASS TIME