#I only ever feel like something when I don't look that way
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webism · 2 days ago
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getting best friend!nanami high for the first time, carding your fingers through his soft hair as he gets used to the couch lock crawling up his legs. a half gone joint hangs from his lips, smoke dancing through the air with each deep exhale from his lungs.
he takes a drag and revels in the way your nails scratch against his scalp—you're calming, safe, the only person he would ever do this with. and, rather than exhale the toke as he had been, kentos clouded judgement has him turning his head and connecting his lips with yours.
apparently weed makes him bold. he kisses you and exhales the remnants of his high into your mouth. and of course, because kento has your heart already, you kiss him back with an equalled hunger. his lips tingle, entire face flushes red, heart pounds in his chest with such a drumming beat he fears it will escape through the spaces between his ribs.
"i apologise," he murmurs as he pulls back, though his words are empty and unconvincing. you think he's saying sorry for kissing you—something you'd never allow him to apologise for—but you realise as he frantically tries to readjust his trousers that he's painfully hard. his cock is tenting his pants and you can't tell whether it's lust or the high that has your mouth dry at the sight.
but you soon learn, as you slip to your knees on the hardwood flooring between his legs and hook his aching cock from his pants, that kento nanami looks sinful with his eyes red and glossed, lips parted and cock twitching in your hold. the sight of his sharp jaw as he drops his head back when you take him into your mouth.
and oh are the noises that escape him gorgeous. he's inebriated, unrestrained and raw in his need—desperate. as you hollow your cheeks out and circle your tongue over his tip, nanami swears a tear rolls down his reddened cheek. he can hardly control himself, not when he's so couch locked that he struggles to thrust his hips up at all. you're left to do all the work: a duty you take on eagerly because the weight of his length on your tongue and the subtle salt of his precum is addictive.
he's a mess of moans as he grows closer to the edge. stars flood his vision, your name floods the air around you, which is now heavy with the smell of sweat and weed and want.
"i'm gonna—" he groans between his words, feels your lips tighten around his cock, your pace quickening "—you don't have to... god, you can pull off."
you could laugh. he's stressed over your comfort as if you aren't raring to taste his release on your tongue—as if it's not the thought of his cum filling you that fuels your nightly fantasies. you continue on, faster and harder and more passionate in your ministrations until nanami is choking on his moans and cumming down your throat with stuttered hips and an iron drawn stomach.
you swallow every last drop of him, and nanami can hardly stand the sight. he feels like a virgin again: embarrassed and beyond needly all in the same shaky breath. his cock twitches: he's far from done with you.
he's more of a fan of weed than he thought he'd be.
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xinganhao · 3 days ago
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🫂 older brother!mingyu vs. boyfriend!wonwoo.
anon → "could you please maybe do a text au of older brother! Mingyu and brother's best friend - and boyfriend - Wonwoo?"
‧₊˚✩彡 includes: cussing, sibling dynamics, wonwoo and mingyu are best friends! best read in order + headcanons under the cut.
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🫂 the three times mingyu almost caught you (and the one time he did) .ᐟ
(1)
wonwoo likes to think he's a pretty rational guy. he follows rules. he does everything by the book. he treats people well, and he's a good friend. mingyu could attest. they've been best friends for years, after all. except— well, there might be one rule that wonwoo has bended just a teensy, tiny bit.
he's breaking it now as the two of you hold hands underneath the café table. you're doing your own thing with your free hand, but the other remains firmly grasped by wonwoo's. he never thought he'd be the clingy type, honestly. it just felt so out of character for somebody like him. and yet here he is, pouting ever so slightly whenever you try to pull away.
"i need to turn the page, baby," you say exasperatedly, gesturing to the book balanced precariously in front of you.
"i'll turn it for you," he says immediately, reaching out to do exactly that. "just let me know when you need me to."
"you're insane."
he pouts harder. you sigh.
minutes later, though, you're wrenching your hand away like wonwoo's touch has burned you. his whine of babyyy is on the tip of his tongue, but he chokes on the word when he sees the reason for your sudden distance: mingyu, bounding in to the café.
"there you are!" he cries to wonwoo. "watchu doin' with this bighead?"
you flip your older brother off. "tutoring," you say without missing a beat. "because unlike you, wonwoo has more than one functioning brain cell."
as the two of you bicker a bit more, wonwoo tries to rearrange his expression into something more neutral. it's all he can do to hide the way he's already missing the feeling of your fingers slotted in the spaces of his.
(2)
if somebody told a younger wonwoo that he would one day be using emoticons and emojis for someone, that younger wonwoo would've laughed his ass off. today's wonwoo can only hang his head in slight shame.
it came easily, but it also came in part because you used to ask 'are you mad at me? 🥺' when he would use his usual textspeak on you. wonwoo was more than happy to start adapting to your typing habits in a bid to ease your mind.
he's on safari, looking up the appropriate emoticon to send as a reaction to your latest selfie— he's torn between (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) and ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ, which may look the same, but he swears there are nuances— when he hears mingyu's amused voice mumble, "what the hell?"
"jesus christ!"
wonwoo's exclamation is paired with the most over-the-top reaction in the world: tossing his phone halfway across the room. mingyu doubles over in laughter as wonwoo glares up at his best friend, who'd been looking over his shoulder.
"yah, don't sneak up on me like that," wonwoo hisses, the tips of his ears going red.
"alright, mr. japanese kaomojis dot com," mingyu teases. he begins laughing harder at his own joke.
wonwoo smacks mingyu upside on the head before going to retrieve his phone. the screen protector has the ghost of a crack on it, but it's a small price to pay.
at least mingyu hadn't peeked the selfie of you making a kissy face for wonwoo.
(3)
"you should probably go soon," you say delicately, nudging wonwoo's head with the heel of your palm.
he lets out a low whine of protest. despite being significantly bigger than you, he's the one draped over you; his face buried in your chest, his arms wrapped around your waist.
the two of you are lounging on your living room couch. your parents— and your pesky older brother— all had plans elsewhere, giving you and wonwoo some freedom.
"you hate me," your boyfriend groans against the front of your shirt.
"they'll be here any minute."
"so i'll stay for thirty seconds more, then."
it's never just seconds more with wonwoo, but you've never been one to deny him. the thirty seconds spin in to three minutes, then seven, then—
the unmistakable sound of a car pulling into the driveway has wonwoo's head snapping up.
"shit," you both say at the same time.
wonwoo scrambles to disentangle from you. "is it—"
"mingyu," you confirm, having grown accustomed to the different sounds that would indicate who was coming home. your eyes are frantic as you wave wonwoo off. "go, go, go!"
he stumbles forward, then backward, like he's not sure where to go.
"my bedroom window!" you hiss, and wonwoo practically bolts up the stairs two steps at a time. just as he gets to the landing of the second floor, mingyu saunters in through the front door.
"were you talking to someone?" your brother asks.
"yeah," you say, schooling your reaction into one of nonchalance. "myself."
"get some help, weirdo."
"how about you—"
your biting retort is cut short by the distant sound of a distant crash. both you and mingyu look towards the general direction of the interruption.
"the hell?" mingyu grouses. you feel like your heart is in your throat as your brother heads for the front door to check.
a frazzled looking wonwoo is out on the porch.
"hey," wonwoo breathes to mingyu. "i, uh, came to see you. knocked over one of your pots while i was walking up, though."
mingyu's eyebrows raise. "why? forgot your glasses or something?"
your eyes catch on wonwoo's spectacles, resting at the foot of the couch. while mingyu's back is still turned, you grab them and shove them into your pocket.
"yeah, forgot 'em at home," wonwoo lies. he's not even looking at you as mingyu lets him in.
"you're in luck," a none the wiser mingyu says. "i literally just got home. otherwise, you would've needed to kill time with the world's biggest loser."
right, you think. like that isn't exactly what wonwoo had just been doing.
(4)
mingyu hadn't meant to find out. really. he was just going to be an annoying older brother— barge into your room, stand there for absolutely no reason, then leave the door open behind him. except when he goes to check, you're already asleep.
he notices that you've crashed atop your covers. that draws a derisive snort of laughter from him. "dumbass," he mumbles to himself. he's known you for all your life, and you're the type to complain about some phantom fever if you didn't have a blanket in your sleep.
he goes to pull your comforter over you, only to freeze midway.
your phone is angled at you, propped up against the wall. it seems like you'd fallen asleep on video call.
and, on the other end of the line is none other than wonwoo.
wonwoo is fast asleep, too. mingyu recognizes the other man's bedroom, sees the way that wonwoo is already dressed for bed. everything just seems to click, then. because everything else is excusable, negligible. but this? the intimacy of this, the sheer familiarity it entails?
mingyu feels like he's intruding. he probably is.
briefly, he considers screaming in your ear until both you and wonwoo are awake. he wants to see what kind of explanation the two of you can come up with on the spot. it'd be pretty funny, he thinks.
instead, he tucks your blanket over your shoulders, taking extra care to not wake you. he'll let you pretend for one more day, he decides with a slight shake of his head.
on his way out of your bedroom, mingyu closes the door for once.
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blackkatdraws2 · 15 hours ago
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[Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint] 5 years of waiting for Han Myungoh to reappear in the manhwa only for him to be changed into a completely new person. Disappointment.
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[NOTE: I don't have anything against people who like Han Myungoh's Demon Earl design.] This will be me ranting/venting about Han Myungoh's new design. Don't get me wrong, I still like Han Myungoh. I love him a lot, I'm just letting out my frustration.
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"There were many small wrinkles on Han Myungoh’s face. Moreover, his whole skin was blackened. Putting aside the wrinkles, the skin discoloration was a sign of a species variation. The longer I looked, the more I could see the old face. Still, many human traces were missing and it was hard to know without looking closely." - chapter 204, Unidentified Wall
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Getting this out of the way before I start: I know that the manhwa design is accurate to the novel description, I know that there are many technical reasons why his design in the manhwa differs from merch/official art/etc., and I'M NOT HATING ON HAN MYUNGOH'S NEW DESIGN.
Okay.
I'm sad at the manhwa version of Han Myungoh's demon form.
Particularly, I'm upset since I doubt they'd make such a drastic change with any of the other KDJ Co. members. [There's Kim Dokja's demon form, but even then I could still tell that it's Kim Dokja, unlike with Han Myungoh.]
I knew he was gonna look different but something this drastic makes me feel distressed. Han Myungoh was the first, and currently still the only comfort character I have in my life, which is surprising since I never expected to even have a comfort character. Loved him in the novel, loved him even more when he was finally drawn by artists, then the manhwa adaptation trailer dropped and I was PUMPED.
I think what really pisses me off even more is that there's barely anything about him in the first place. I live off of scraps. I really only read the manhwa for him if I'm being honest, I prefer the novel ORV. I've waited for so long for him to finally appear in future chapters again, and when he does come back, he's completely unrecognizable!
It's not even the fact that HMO got redesigned, it's the fact that he looks like a completely different character! What happened?! That's not him, who is that?!
Like, just put yourself in my shoes for a second. Imagine Yoo Joonhyuk disappearing for the entirety of the manhwa adaptation and then when his long awaited comeback is here, he suddenly has long white hair, blue eyes, a chiseled jawline and a completely different outfit, like- you see where I'm coming from, right?!
I'm genuinely so distraught over this lmao, like /gen /extremely neg.
With that out of the way, I've processed this loss for a long time now and I've accepted the fact that I'll never see "Han Myungoh" in the manhwa ever again. I will love both designs even if I favor one more than the other, because it's Han Myungoh and I love Han Myungoh. I'll love him even if he was a worm.
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bellepeppertronix · 1 day ago
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I love that movie and that book, and both are core memory/personality pillars for me.
So, in their defense, I have some thoughts.
Sorry, OP, I have a Lot of Thoughts:
She doesn't understand time.
She doesn't even understand THE PASSAGE OF TIME. Because unicorns are immortal and exist outside of it. In the book, she RUNS FOR A YEAR STRAIGHT, and only remarks that the animals in the lands she passed through "grew long hair, and then it grew short again".
When Schmendrick temporarily changes her into a human, it is jarring and horrifying because UNICORNS HAVE NO FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR A MORTAL BODY. So she could literally feel herself growing towards death. It's heavily implied that unicorns don't even actually need to EAT.
So her transformation is the opposite of the stories where a beautiful princess is transformed into a bird or something, and it's shocking. She's a graceful, beautiful woman, but she is not HERSELF, and the change gives her insomnia, nightmares, and severe depression.
She is quiet and reserved but not rude, ever. At times she is very mildly sarcastic to Schmendrick, but is never cruel. Even to the witch who held her captive, Mommy Fortuna, she is never cruel. If anything she sounds weary and slightly annoyed, that Mommy Fortuna wants to keep her like a living trinket--but then she even warns her that she should not tamper with real immortal beings.
Also, as a woman and a Black woman, I don't know why, but this has always stuck with me: the unicorns are sapient.
King Haggard wanted ALL OF THEM for himself. For the elusive pleasure of seeing them trapped in the surf, too afraid to even step foot onto the shore.
And yet he never would have spoken to them, never would have tried to know or befriend them.
Because they were THINGS to him. He wanted them, all of them, enough to sell his soul (?) To the Red Bull to keep them all trapped there for himself.
It didn't matter to him that they were minding their own business in their forests and glades. It didn't matter that he likely caused a lot of the desolation on his own lands by imprisoning the unicorns in a narrow spit of ocean that only he had access to.
It didn't matter that the unicorns were sapient magical beings at all, because he never bothered to consider them as anything other than playthings and live anti-depressants.
The Unicorn, or Amalthea, then has to walk around in his decrepit castle, full of images of her real self--but caricatures. She has to be I the same space as a man who thinks of herself and others like her as less than animals, more like tokens, and who would happily have his demonic bull imprison her with the other unicorns. She knows that he knows--he looks at her and accuses her of not being human more than once!--but that even seeing her in a human form and theoretically being able to talk with her, he cannot contain his selfishness or meanness. He says he will allow she and the party to stay there and that he will "...look at them...for awhile..."
Even if she wanted to, she could not tell him any of her truths, because he likely would not have wanted to hear them.
Do you think a man who lived like that, would listen to someone tell him about the way their favorite plum tree dropped blossoms precisely into a moonlit pond? Do you think he would have cared at all, beyond his own bitterness and selfishness?
All of this to say that the movie and book are much deeper than "pretty anemic pony plus her wizard and cook friend go to fight an evil king and a fiery bull monster".
Following the author of The Last Unicorn on Facebook is the only thing that makes being on that site worthwhile.
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woso-dreamzzz · 1 day ago
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Birdie's Halloween
Mary Earps x Child!Reader
Summary: The fifteenth of my Halloween-centric fics
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"Listen, Mum," Mary says as she weaves through the aisles of the store," I'd love to chat but I'm really quite busy right now."
"Oh yes, I'll let you get back to what you're doing," Mary's mother says on the other end of the phone," But just remember to send me her Christmas list, alright? And maybe that list of-"
"Mum," Mary says again," Seriously, I have to go."
"I know, I know but- Oh! I didn't tell you. Mrs Todds - you remember Mrs Todds, right? Anyway, Mrs Todds from next door said-"
"Mum. Me, go. Have to. Alright?"
"Oh, fine, Mary. You go. I'll call tonight. We can finish this then."
"Great," Mary mutters, looking down at her phone impassively," I'll look forward to it." She sighs, shaking her head and slipping the device back into her pocket with the startlingly discovery that she's lost you.
Again.
It's actually kind of incredible how she can lose an eight year old and her puppy in such a small store.
"Birdie!" She calls out," Birdie!"
There's no answer.
Mary sighs. "Y/n! I mean it, come here!"
Your head pops around one of the aisles and Newton's golden fur moves in speedy circles as he waits for Mary to get closer.
"You can't keep wandering off," Mary tells you, taking your hand," What happens if I lose you?"
Ever practical, you reply," Well, if I get lost then I have to go to the nearest shop worker or mother and tell them I'm lost. I have your number on my ID necklace so I get them to call that."
You beam up at her and Mary laughs despite herself.
"You know, I think Tooney was right when she called you a little smartass."
You keep beaming. "Ella's just jealous she's not as smart as me."
"But at least she knows not to wander off in a store."
"I have Newton with me."
Mary gives you a pointed look, staring down at your very dopey dog who's only now growing into his service dog vest. He's great for your emotional regulation and anticipating meltdowns but for your physical protection, not so much.
"Still," Mary says," Let's just stay close, alright?"
You huff, muttering," Just because you don't speak French," but still keep close as Mary looks through the racks of costumes.
"And you're absolutely certain you want to match?"
"Yes."
"Alright then."
It's nowhere near your first Halloween with Mary but it's your first with Newton, your adorable service pup who enjoys things like sleeping on a heated blanket and accidentally treading on his own ears.
Usually, you choose something to match with Mary but you don't want Newton to feel left out, especially because of everything he does for you.
Newton's your best friend in the whole world, even more than the horses at the barn you go to for your lessons.
So this year, you're foregoing a matching outfit with Mary in favour of one with Newton which is what led to Mary spending hours looking for a shop in Paris that sold human costumes and dog costumes.
"What about this one?"
You wrinkle your nose up at the cheap ghost costume Mary holds up for you.
"That's basic," You complain, "Newton deserves better."
Newton seems to whine in agreement, sitting up on his haunches in the same way he begs for scraps when he's off duty.
"Fine," Mary grumbles," Fine. We'll find something better."
"Newton's a gentlemen," You continue," That's why he deserves a better costume."
Mary smiles fondly as you go look through the racks yourself.
Newton whines a little ten minutes later, wedging his body between you and the costumes when he notices how distressed you're getting.
Mary notices too, guiding you away from the dog section to ones more your size.
"Let's choose yours first," She says gently," Are we going scary or cute?"
"Cute," You mumble, running your hand through Newton's soft fur.
"How about these?"
Mary lets you be for the most part, taking items off the rack to show you the choices.
"That one," You mumble, already halfway to non-verbal as you repeatedly run a hand through Newton's fur," Please."
"Good choice, Birdie," Mary says," Shall we choose one for Newton today or-?"
You nod your head, shuffling back to the dog aisle as Mary throws your Belle dress into the basket.
You rifle through the racks quickly, though one hand remains rooted around Newton's leash.
"This one?" Mary checks as you pull one out for her to take. "You're going to be Belle and Newton's going to be the Beast."
You nod.
"Good choice," She says," Let's pay for these and we'll head home. There's some chocolate milk with your name on it."
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slytherinslut0 · 2 days ago
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quiet reckoning. chapter one
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summary: mattheo comes to visit. it’s strange, being twenty five and still seeing your childhood in his eyes.
warnings: just a ton of fucking angst. complicated, self destructive mattheo who’s finally coming to terms with how he pushed you away when you were younger simply because he couldn’t stand being second to tom in your eyes. the acceptance doesn’t make it hurt any less. get the tissues. cry with me please.
masterlist & other chapters.
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Life these days holds a strange, silent kind of peace, interrupted only by the faint sound of water rushing over stone—the creek that runs quick along the forest edge. In your early summer afternoons, the trees form a leafy wall of emerald and ochre, and they sway with the breeze that brushes the hair back from your cheeks.
You sit cross-legged in the dirt, hands buried in soil as you pull vegetables out of your garden in prep for the approaching cold months. You love how earth has its own signature scent: damp, fertile, alive. Somehow it makes you think of Tom—his manor, with its towering windows overlooking manicured grounds, its own gardens sprawling wide. His manor with its grand, sweeping staircases, polished black floors.
Everything was pristine, almost oppressively so. Even the walls seemed haughty, disdainful of the cobwebs that clung to the corners.
Tom had never let you stay long enough to tend to those.
But his gardens—those had their own softness, a quiet beauty that only fully revealed itself after dusk when the moonlight cast everything in silver. I loved you there, you reminisce, and the ache has a name in memory—longing. I wish I could have loved you there longer.
And now you're here, a few years after Tom told you never to come back to him—here where the ache feels smaller, further away. Here where there’s no temptation, where the air smells of earth and moss and freedom, and the silence holds its own kind of comfort. Mattheo visits sometimes, wandering into the quiet when your absence grows too thick, when too many of his owls have gone unanswered.
"He'll visit soon." He always tells you. You start to hate how much he lies to you.
"Don't pretend," you said once, and his mouth stretched into a thin, humourless smile.
"Alright," he replied. "I won't."
So now, when he comes to visit, he doesn't say it—he just sits next to you. He doesn't talk much. Neither do you. Life here is quiet—few neighbours, even fewer visitors. A woman brings you pastries from time to time and the town grocer knows your name, but most days you pass unbothered. You tend the garden when the days are warm, work on the cottage when it's cold.
When it's raining you read books and pretend they're not the same kind Tom used to keep.
On a day in early October, Mattheo sits next to you on the porch and you hate that you notice how he doesn't look at you the same way Tom did. It's something lighter, something less cloying. Sometimes you think of how unfair it is that he can taunt you silently like this—how he can remind you of the chocolate streaks in Tom's inky hair, the depth in his dark eyes. How he can remind you that he holds all the same features as his brother, just without the weight.
As the sun sinks slowly through the trees, casting pink and orange across the sky, you turn your face to the creek, watching the water ripple over stones and rocks, and you think of how young you loved them—the way your love grew different when you weren't looking.
Mattheo was chaos, always had been. I could have helped him find himself. But that thought feels hollow, and it's always followed by another. If he would have let me.
"It's strange to think that this is your life." Mattheo speaks after a while of not. He lights a cigarette, and you reach for it when he passes it to you. "You could have done anything."
You inhale the smoke and close your eyes—thinking of how cigarettes taste like fire and ash and the last time Tom had taken your hand.
"Maybe this is all I ever wanted to be." You reply, spinning the cigarette between your fingers. "At peace."
He glances at you in the fading light—the way the sunset casts shadows in the hollows of your cheeks, makes the gold of your earrings look darker against your hair.
He frowns. "You don't look at peace."
No, you think, taking another drag. I never really have.
You pass the cigarette back to him, watching the smoke drift in the breeze. He doesn't say anything else, so you don't either.
Instead, you watch the dark start to close in, the sky turn into an endless stretch of indigo, stars winking to life somewhere above the trees. The fireflies come out eventually, when the night is quiet and heavy and the world turns a little sleepy. They flutter around in the trees and grass like faeries—like stars that've made their home on the ground—and Mattheo watches them with a furrow in his brow.
You wonder what he's thinking, then think better of it at the bitter twist of his mouth. He always thought they'd burn.
"Why do you still come here?" You question. He turns to you, and when his eyes meet yours that's when you realize you'd verbalized the thought. "To sit with me."
Mattheo shakes his head. "I'll need another smoke to answer that."
So he pulls out another cigarette and lights it. The first inhale is long, and the exhale makes you blink. You look away and pretend like his response doesn't make your stomach twist.
The stream moves a little darker in the moonlight and the pine trees shiver with a gentle breeze that smells like soil. You feel the comfort in it—in knowing that all of this has been here longer than you ever have, and that it'll be here long after you're gone.
Perhaps that's precisely what you chased. A home in something steady.
"I come to remind myself you're okay." He says after a long silence, staring at his hands. "Sometimes it feels like you're dead."
You blink again. He's more perceptive than you remember.
"I'm still here," you remind him, but he laughs without humour in it.
"Sure, you're there," he replies, before another pause. "But you're not really living."
He says the words casually, like they're a fact. You think they're meant to hurt. He's right—it's a thought that comes quietly, the way most unwanted thoughts do. You over look at the river, the fireflies, the dirt under your fingernails—you try to feel the chill in the October breeze, the soft moss under your feet. You try to be alive.
"Why do you think that?" You ask even when you know the answer.
He takes another drag of his cigarette, and then exhales—casting his hair grey when the smoke drifts over his face.
He looks older here, when the night stretches over him. It reminds you how much has changed.
"Sometimes I think you're here to punish yourself." He says, passing you the cigarette again. "You say you come here for peace, but this isn't peace like a person should have. It's just an absence. Silence, and isolation, and nothing else." You glance down at his hand resting on his knee beside you, shadows deepening in the lines of his palm. He watches you. "I wish you'd stop hating yourself for what he's become."
A lump forms in your throat—you remember Tom as a boy, the way he'd hold magic in his palms and make lights dance just to make you laugh. You remember the way he once looked at you, quietly and gently in a way that made you feel safe within crumbling walls offering cold stone decorum. You remember one of the last times at Hogwarts, once things took a turn, when he held more than just magic in his palms—when the lights danced only to burn you instead of make you laugh.
You wonder what it says about you, that you loved him in both.
"I don't hate myself, Matt." You mutter, more conviction than truth. "If I'm punishing myself at all, it's for giving him something to hurt."
He doesn't say anything for a while, so you think briefly that his silence is agreement. You and him both know that there is a lot to hurt about, when it comes to Tom.
"You didn't give him anything." He rebuttals with certainty. "He was who he was before you even knew his name."
It's easy to forget that sometimes, the way he had been all sharp edges even when you'd first met. The way he'd pulled you and his brother through crumbling, damp, narrow hallways with something far too assured for a six year old. Something that made you want to follow him forever—something that whispered; I'll never let anything hurt you.
You exhale a plume of smoke. The fireflies look like falling stars when you close your eyes.
"Sometimes, I think I made him human." You say, and immediately wish you didn't. It's a weird thought, but one that comes unbidden. "Others, I think I made him evil."
It tastes like acid the moment you say it aloud. I made him evil. You think back to all those nights in the quiet, the way you taught him how to confide in you, the way he looked at you as if you held some answer he couldn't find on his own. You remember the secrets he shared, the way he softened when no one else could see. You remember how long it took him to get there.
But you remember the darker moments, too—moments when you didn't pull away, even when you should have. Moments you whispered reassurances instead of warnings, when you offered comfort instead of caution. Maybe, in those silences, you fed a need that shouldn't have been nourished, let him believe his ambitions weren't dangerous, only misunderstood.
You wonder if, in being the one person who never condemned him, you gave him permission to be what he became.
"And me?" Mattheo turns to you. You glance at him, the hard line of his mouth and his eyes that look more black than brown in the night— "did you make me evil too?"
You're both quiet for a moment, the only sound is the stream, the only motion is the flutter of the fireflies.
"I don't believe I made you anything." You say finally, letting him take the cigarette back from you. "I suppose you only became who you wanted to be."
You think, quietly, that it's a kinder fate than the rest.
He huffs a laugh. "So you think I wanted to be an asshole."
He's joking, you think. Or he's bitter again, resentful. You're sure he wanted to be whatever Tom would accept him as—though you'd never say those words out loud.
"I think you wanted to be loved." Is what you settle on, and the words tear your throat apart as you speak them. "Just like I did."
He hums, noncommittally, and lights a third cigarette.
You wonder why you still know that he's bitter even when he's not saying the words—why you still know that he only hums that way when something hurts, or when it's a truth he can't bring himself to admit.
"You found it now, haven't you?" You fill his silence with another sentence you wish you didn't say. "You're engaged."
You watch the embers from the cigarette tip light up the hollows of his cheeks, the way it burns his eyes gold as he takes a drag on it.
"Yeah," he nods into the night. "I'm engaged."
Something selfish in you aches at that.
"Then why do you come here and look at me like you're lonely?" You try to ask it casually, but you don't think you manage it. You see him tense when he realizes how well you still read him. "What is it you're missing, Matt?"
"I don't know." He looks at you in the dark, his expression lost in the shadows of his hair. "Sometimes I think it's you."
It's an answer like a knife, because you've known all along that he feels the same way you do—that the loneliness stays and the regret never really dissipates—that the 'what-ifs' linger long after they shouldn't.
"I'm not your girl." You remind him.
It sounds empty when you say it, but he made it clear when you were younger that he wanted it this way.
"You never were."
He looks away after that, to the stream, and you wonder if it has ever felt hollow like this.
All the lights seem very small suddenly, the moon, the stars—you're not sure where his vulnerability is coming from, all these years in passing. You assume it’s the old saying—absence makes the heart grow fonder.
"But you wanted me to be." It's more of a question.
"For a time, when we were kids." He gives you honesty that surprises you. "Sometimes I think I still do."
Why?—you want to ask, suddenly, desperately—and wonder at the cruelty of the thought. Asking that would be the worst kind of question. Why do you want me?
You think you know all the answers already. They sit bitter at the back of your throat.
"So that's why you come here." You say instead, shivering with the wind that brushes over you. "To remind yourself of all the reasons you still feel empty."
There's a dark sort of humour to the sound he lets out, one that makes your chest ache. He turns to you again, and his hands shake when he lifts the cigarette.
"It's not you that makes me feel empty, princess." He whispers. "It's the absence of you."
You look at him, then—really look. There's something strange about being twenty five and still seeing your childhood in his eyes. Despite the nickname, he’s not joking. It’s the kind of confession that tastes like a fist, like a punch that breaks bones.
I know, you think. I wish it could have been different for us.
"You need to stop coming here." There's no spine in those words. They're putty between you. "Just like Tom told me to stop, I'm now telling you."
He's quiet, watching you as the embers of the cigarette flicker over his fingers.
"I'll stop," he pauses, and you see the pain in his throat as he swallows. "When he finally comes to you."
That, you think, will probably never happen.
"So you'll come here forever." You say, and his mouth twists in a silent, bitter smile.
"I guess I will."
You don't have a response to that. It's not a choice he makes so much as it is his reality, and you, of all people, could never fault him for that.
So instead of words, you lean to rest your head on his shoulder, same way you did when you were kids. You sit together, watching the moon and stars and the stream and the trees and everything else around you that reminds you you're alive, even if you don't feel it. You think of his fiancé, you know she'd never understand. This is childhood love in its most vulnerable form—and you thank him for it, silently, for reminding you that you're not alone. Even if you're sure you are.
He leans his head sideways, on top of yours—a gesture almost automatic.
"I still think of you in the summer." He mutters into your hair. You close your eyes and remember the sun, the way it once felt like it touched your bones. "The summer when we were nine. Swimming in the river at night. Those stupid bugs that I thought were made of fire." He pauses for a minute, looking around, and you think he's done talking, until he isn't. "I suppose I do understand why you chose this life."
You remember that summer, too. Small children swimming in a river that was all silver shadows under the moonlight, chasing fireflies like stars. No parents to call you home, no rules except the ones of your own.
Somehow, that's not your favourite memory of him.
"And I think of you in the fall." You say, listening to your own voice sounding distant. "The year just before Hogwarts. When the leaves turned red and orange and gold. When you raked them into a pile for us to jump in."
He hums. "I tried to kiss you that fall."
"And Tom fought you for it."
"And he won." Mattheo's voice sounds distant too, almost lost. "He always won."
It's strange, thinking of autumn when you think of Mattheo, but it fits—he's just as fleeting. Beautiful, easy to fall into, but always gone too soon, leaving a chill in his place.
"Sometimes I think it's because he knew he could." You build off his thoughts. "And sometimes I think it's because he just wanted to prove it."
He shrugs. "Either way, I still lost."
It's such a mournful way to reminisce, you think, for the children you used to be.
"And what now?" You ask.
He exhales slowly, and the smoke looks like a mist in front of you. "I suppose now we both lose."
And that, is the most honest thing he's said all night.
You turn your face into his shoulder, the way you had when you were younger. You close your eyes, and for a moment you imagine being a child again—back in the days when love was simple and nights were endless. Back to a time when you didn't know things you should and all you had were each other's shoulders to lean on in an orphanage dirtier than the forest before you.
"We lose together, then." You offer, a half-whisper.
"Yeah," he answers, just as quiet, just as lost. "We lose together."
There's a bitter kind of contentment in that, you think. You're sure that's a terrible thing.
You take a few moments to brace yourself for the shift in conversation, and then—
"How is he?"
"He's fine." Mattheo understands what you aren't asking. "The leader he always wanted to be."
You close your eyes again and hear the stream running steady, moving around rocks that have been shaped by years of its presence. You ignore the ache in your chest.
"He's happy?"
You don't have to open your eyes to know that Mattheo smiles bitterly. "He's as happy as someone like Tom could be."
There are several beats of silence, the kind that holds too many unsaid things. You feel it in Mattheos exhale that there's something he isn't saying. You don't press him on it. You sit together like this for a while under the sky—watching the way the dark clouds move, the stars shift.
You think about childhoods that never last. About fireflies and streams and boys you loved.
"Tell me something true." You murmur as the midnight grog sets in. "Tell me something that'll warm me through winter."
Mattheo pauses, silent, and for a moment you think he's not going to answer.
"I've loved you most of my life." He mutters finally, into the top of your head. The words feel like a breath of summer, in a quiet, dark night. "That's the kind of truth that could melt an iceberg."
It's the sort of declaration you could only share in the cover of the night, in the silence of a forest. Not the sort of admission that would ever survive daylight. I've loved you most of mine, too.
"And a lie?" You reply.
His fingertips run through his hair, almost idly. You suppose he's looking back into memories of fleeting autumn's and summer sun, the time he tried to kiss you and the day he pushed you away. He doesn't answer the question for a while. You wonder if he doesn't have an answer, or if he just doesn't want to say it.
And then, finally, quietly— "I'm happy for him."
You close your eyes again. That, you think, is the cold truth of winter.
You turn your face again into his shoulder for a second time tonight, but you keep your eyes open. You can feel the weight of your childhood on your shoulders, the trees and the creek behind you, and the silence that follows his lie.
Suddenly, you're furious—a fire tearing through regret. You wish Mattheo hadn't chosen booze, fights, and empty escapes. You wish he'd let you love him properly before pushing you away. You wish he hadn't always resented Tom—hadn't always felt second best in a way no amount of reassurance could fix. Yet somehow, you just can't fault him for any of it.
He's always known you loved Tom first; he's carried that like a wound.
"Ask me to lie to you." You say as you swallow your anger.
There's an exhale. You're sure Mattheo's watching the trees, the wind as it runs quietly past.
"Lie to me."
You tilt your head up to the sky. You try to remember that fall, you try to feel what it was like to be a child again, and to believe in a future that wasn't shaped by the past. You think of his fiancé.
"I'm happy for you." You whisper.
From the corner of your eye, you know he smiles bitterly again, but he responds with nothing more than his unsteady breathing. You're both silent like this for the rest of his stay, together under the moon that's watched you both change.
"I'll be back in a month," he mutters, just loud enough for you to hear as time stretches thin.
He has to go before the sun rises, before dawn coaxes him into staying. You consider, if only for the flicker of a second, letting him.
"I'll see you then." You lean back and look up into his eyes, searching into the gold buried deep. If you look too long, you think you may see his broken heart. You make yourself smile anyway. "Write to me."
"Even if you don't write back." He replies with a nod.
The cold air makes your eyes water. For a moment he's still, like he may pull you into him and drown you in all the things he feels. Instead, he puts a cigarette into his mouth, lighting it with one of his hands. The lighter casts an orange glow over his face that makes him look pale and tired again, like the boy you'd met in an orphanage that was so much dirtier than the forest before you.
"Good night." He murmurs, and you feel his thumb brush your cheek before he apparates back to the life you left behind.
And now, alone under the black sky, you take a deep breath. Then, you exhale, go back into your cabin and you try not to think about all the things you've lost.
You try not to think of the boy you've loved for far too large a part of your life and how it changed the boy who's loved you for far too large a part of his. You try instead to focus on what you have—walls and peace and solitude, something certain that won't disappear when it rains.
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bonefall · 2 days ago
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How do you feel about the Everluxes?
Well, I'm actually someone who generally dislikes Ancients. I usually find that they're kind of a "waste" of an otherwise interesting breed concept, and the fact they can't wear apparel means I find them difficult to work with even when the colors are all aligned. They're usually just "discount moderns," to me.
So Everluxes are everything I want, actually!
They're something that could never exist as a modern breed because they break the 4-legs 2-wings mold, they're SUPER unique in terms of their grublike proportions and big chunky upper legs, and they released with a ton of amazing line-breaking genes that are fun to play with. This is exactly what I feel like Ancients have been missing since their release!
I actually strongly disagree that these guys are "unfitting" in the Light Flight-- I think everyone who's saying that just doesn't like that Light has a fat dragon. I'm losing patience with the way they'll say, "It's not because they're fat, it's because they're inelegant, ungraceful, gross, tubular, long, round, etc" and just expect people to not realize those are being used as alternate words for "fat." The only person they're fooling is themselves.
They have a lot in common with the other breeds, actually. The wings resemble the Imperial's. The rhino-like horn reminds me of the pearlcatchers. They have the same prehensile "feeler" whiskers. Even the way that they're really long makes me think of a sort of "beta" imperial.
I have a headcanon that the Lightweaver made Everluxes and was suuuuper proud of them, her little "bookwyrms..." and then her bully of a sister, Shadowbinder, got REALLY mean about them. Took jabs at every chance, and ultimately made Veilspuns as "LOOK, IT'S YOURS BUT BETTER LOL. MAYBE YOU COULD LEARN SOMETHING. YOU LOVE DOING THAT, DON'T YOU?"
Long hair, sleek features, strong and tricky... Lightweaver loved her design, but when she looked at what her sister could do, she felt ashamed. She'd just wanted people to help her archive and preserve knowledge, but now that she was being pressured to compare her creations to someone else's, suddenly the joy was gone.
And, of course, FlightRising lore enjoyers know what comes next.
Spurred on by that fierce feeling of inadequacy, her next set of creations would be larger, more beautiful, more powerful than anything that had ever come before. She forced every tear, every sob, every moment of anguish she'd ever felt into her next creation. No dragon that walked the soil of Sornieth would be able to hold a candle to the light of the masterpiece within her claws.
Imperials came after the Everlux-- and Emperors in their wake. The Lightweaver swore to never create a breed out of anguish ever again.
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saikenakoego · 2 days ago
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What the heck, I'll also answer these with Sammy because I've been feeling edgy as hell lately.
Last one with this gal, for real this time. The unwilling vampire-turned-vampire hunter, Sammy
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1. Excluding murder, what's the worst thing you've done?
SM: Considering the idea of giving in to the thirst at all.
2. Have you ever killed someone?
SM: Not someone, something. They're not people.
3. Have you ever killed a friend/family member/loved one?
SM: No. This question makes me incredibly angry.
4. What appears in your darkest nightmares?
SM: Blood that isn't my own.
5. What is your moral code?
SM: Protect the natural, kill the unnatural. Simple as.
6. Would you make a deal with the devil?
SM: Not even if it offered me salvation. I've killed demons. I know how that goes.
7. How far are you willing to go to get what you want?
SM: Far enough.
8. Would you consider yourself as evil?
SM: By virtue of my condition, yes.
9. Do you enjoy watching others suffer?
SM: I can't feel joy. But watching them squirm like the parasites they are as I send them straight to hell is... cathartic.
10. Have you ever tortured someone?
SM: Something. More than once. And I'll do it again. Until I inflict as much pain on them as they did to me.
11. If you were arrested, what would the charges be?
SM: Theft. Don't ask.
12. Who do you hate the most?
SM: ...Myself.
13. What is your "villain song"?
OOC: She doesn't really have one, but I tend to listen to Devils Never Cry when I draw her. Maybe Bring Me To Life by Evanescence? That's a certified Edge™️ classic.
14. If you draw: Draw your OC's darkest moment or reimagine them as a demon!
OOC:
Not really her darkest moment, but,
'Sammy looked ahead at the man who had once been her token of admiration.
A man of good, of kindness and sincerity. Who had once guided them into the right path.
Who'd once walked into her home not as a friend, nor as a figure of authority, but as family.
An equal. To her father, a brother. And to her mother, a cousin.
He stood there quietly, illuminated by the bright moonlight coming through the church's windows as he calmly straightened the creases of his vestment.
Staring coldly at the beaten and bloodied body of an unconscious Silver.
It had happened so quickly, she didn't even have time to react.
Before she knew it, she'd been slammed into the ground with enough force to shatter her spine.
It only took one or two seconds after that for her friend to follow suit and be reduced to a wheezing mess.
And she was powerless to do anything about it. As it always was. Forced to listen to the shrieks of pain of another victim while her wakened body tried its best to repair itself with what little blood she had left in her.
It angered her.
But what angered her the most was the unfeeling expression that bloodsucking bastard had all throughout.
It angered her so, so much.
"Now," the man finally spoke, wiping his bloodied hands with a pure white cloth "We can finally talk."
To hell with that, she thought.
"How peculiar" he continued "Those eyes of yours. They rage with the embers of hatred. Is it me that you despise?"
The man walked forward, into the shadows where she lay, matching her piercing stare with his own.
"I wonder why?" He calmly mused.
And then he placed a foot on her left arm. Pushing slowly, steadily, watching the skin tear apart and the bone splinter with a grotesque sound.
Of course, she didn't feel any of it. They both knew she couldn't. And to her, that was the worst punishment he could've given her.
"You were always quite fiery. The way you'd listen to the sermons, pay attention in Sunday school. That passion had always set you aside. And yet, it has also led you astray."
Then he did the same with her right arm, making sure to drag his sole on her mutilated limb with apathy.
"Holding to the remnants of your past. Hoping that they will keep you warm" he said, dropping the stained cloth on her pooling blood "I just can't understand why."
That got a grunt out of her.
"Why would the Father choose someone like you? Who so fervently seeks to reject his gift? His ideals? His goals?" He said while running a finger on his rosary "Someone so... immature--"
"Shut the fuck up already" she spat, voice coarse and breathy.
The man simply sighed in response.
"Of course. You're still young. I often forget that" he lamented quietly "Children learn by imitation, not comprehension."
Then he signaled back to Silver's unconscious form.
"That boy over there. You both act really similarly. Perhaps he was the one to influence you in this way?"
"Lay another finger on him..." she barked coldly, yet it did nothing to deter the pastor.
"And what?" He scoffed. Even though he couldn't express emotion, he sounded almost indignant "You are at the edge of your mortality, just like him. It would do you no good to continue your empty intimidations. After all..."
He turned around, giving her an uncaring glance as he walked back towards the boy.
"...You don't actually care what happens to him anyway, do you?"
"Go to hell."
The man knelt besides her sleeping companion, seemingly unfazed by the myriad of insults and threats that she continued to throw at him.
"You can stop pretending now" he stated matter-of-factly.
But that only fueled her anger further.
"You don't know fuck about me. Don't try to act like--"
"All of this... attitude. This rebellious phase." He interrupted her "Playing pretend with these... animals. Like they're not food to be consumed. Like you have the strength to make things right. Clinging on to something that you're not anymore. Of a world that isn't there, and a me that never was. Raging senselessly, when you care more about the fact that I'm alive and not that he's dying. Stop pretending, Samantha."
She bared her teeth at him. Bloodied gums and sharpened fangs gleamed under the dim light, being reflected into his unchanging pupils. Defiant, yet slightly wavering.
He sighed.
"I have now come to terms with the fact that I can't make you understand. It is simply not my place to do as a father should" he said, standing up with that same unapologetic attitude that crept into her very nerves "But it is in my hands to set an example."
"If you fucking dare--"
"Relax" the man ordered, sending a shockwave through her core with his voice "That would be counter-productive. This child... is still yet useful. Both of them are."
Her mind wandered back to Johnny, and her eye twitched slightly at the realization that she'd completely forgotten about him in her rampage.
Wherever he'd run off to, hopefully he had managed to escape. The kid was smart enough to know when to turn tail and run.
How ironic, that the same thing she'd criticized him for was the culmination of both his salvation and her damnation.
Now wasn't the time to be reminiscing about that, though. With any luck, the pastor would be oblivious to her thoughts on the matter.
"But this... thing you three do, playing with toys while thinking you're some sort of heroes" he interjected, calmly walking back to her for the last time "It must be put an end to. For your own good."
"Fuck you, pendejo de mierda."
"I no longer expect you to understand, as I said. It is not my duty to act as a father would" he said with a sigh, kneeling before her "But as the elder sibling, I must set a good example."
She was about to tell him to go fuck himself with that family bullshit, when a metallic object suddenly came in contact with the roof of her mouth.
The hammer of Silver's .50 caliber revolver clicked into place with a small sound as the pastor once again got to speak in her place.
"As such, please watch and learn as I provide the appropriate punishment for such behavior, in place of the Father."
The last thing she could do was throw him one final spiteful glance before his finger came in contact with the trigger.
Bang! The sound of the first bullet reverberated in her mouth.
Bang! The second one pulsated deeply within her veins.
Bang! The third echoed through her lungs.
Bang! The fourth rippled through her milky eyeballs.
Bang! The fifth rang far into the distance.
By the time she came to, what remained was only but the shattered pieces of the one person that she'd been desperately clinging to.'
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OOC: But it's okay. She'll heal it off.
Dark OC Asks
Excluding murder, what is the worst thing your OC has ever done?
Has your OC ever killed someone?
Has your OC killed a friend/family member/loved one?
What appears in your OC's darkest nightmares?
What is your OC's moral code?
Would your OC make a deal with the devil?
How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?
Would your OC consider themself evil?
Would you consider your OC evil?
Does your OC enjoy watching others suffer?
Has your OC ever tortured someone?
If your OC was arrested, what would the charges be?
Who does your OC hate the most?
What is your OC's "villain song"?
If you draw: draw your OC's darkest moment or reimagine your OC as a demon. If you don't draw: find a picrew or write a description instead!
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endless-ineffabilities · 1 day ago
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some mildly spicy Ewan 'The Iceberg' Mitchell headcanons for your imaginative indulgence
I want 'em all to see you look good on top of me At this time at night, I need not one, not three Just your two hands on me like my life needs savin' Let 'em all know
a/n: inspired by the release of the song 2 hands. purely self-indulgent, purely fictional, and nothing more. no explicit bits, because I steer clear of those for rpfs. so on your marks, get set...
main masterlist
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✨️ He would be the most gentle partner during your first time together. Not rushing in the slightest as he prepares you, making sure you feel good and comfortable every step of the way, going down on you like it's his last meal on earth. He'd want to maintain eye contact, even as you fall apart underneath him. He would clean you up afterwards, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear as you fall asleep in his arms.
✨️ He is, of course, sweet and attentive and tender in bed. But the more you get to know him, the more he reveals his rougher, dominant side. You would find out that they were all right about him—while he does keep to himself a lot, Ewan is indeed secretly naughty >:)
✨️ There will be moments when he would be unsure, his eyes would flit all over the room then back to you, and you would know that he's biting back a question.
✨️ What is it, baby? — Hmm, nothing. — C'mon, Ewan. — I was wondering if... if I can take... pictures of you? — Of course, I mean... you already take a lot of pictures of me. — No, I mean... pictures. — Okay. Pictures. What...? — (he'd bury his face in your neck, as if ashamed) I want one where I can see my baby. Every single bit of my baby. — Oh.
✨️ And so that'll be the start of Ewan's most prized album in his phone. Suddenly, the lad will have a knack for photography. He'd capture all the right angles.
✨️ The boy is needy as hell. He'd actually whine in protest when he wants to do it, when he craves you, and you'd brush him off because you're busy working or you're in a rush to go to a meeting.
✨️ Baby, c'mon, just stay. — Ewan, I have to go to work. — I'm a successful actor, I can provide for you, baby. You don't ever have to work again. — Ewan, you're so ridiculous. — Okay, fine, fiiiiiine. But... just give me 10 minutes please. — I really gotta go, babe. — Alright, 5 minutes. Promise to make you scream.
✨️ He's a sucker for neck kisses. It tickles him a little when you nibble on the underside of his jaw, the crook of his neck. He could just lie there forever with his head tilted back and his fingers threaded in your hair.
✨️ But as much as he likes receving neck kisses, he likes doling them out even more. Hickeys stir a primal instinct in him, he likes seeing you covered—branded—in them. As if they prove that you're his and only his.
✨️ His favourite sight is watching you in the throes of climax. His second favourite is when you look up at him as you're on your knees, holding his gaze as you bring him closer to the edge.
✨️ Your bits and bobs would not be in places where you left them. The childhood photo of yours that you tacked onto the board above your desk — in Ewan's wallet. Your favourite piece of lace underwear — for some reason, in the hidden inner pocket of his trusty travel backpack. Your old hairtie — snug around his wrist, because he'd want to keep something of yours on him at all times (and! also useful in case you'd be in a new city together, for example, and you need 10 minutes and your hair neatly kept away from your face).
✨️ Ewan (the true blue cinephile) likes a cheeky fumble in the screen-lit darkness of the cinema. This means that you know to wear a skirt during your movie dates, to give him easy access as his hand wanders under your folded-up coat on your lap. He'd keep his head forward, watching the film as he buries his digits, but his darkened eyes give him away.
✨️ As much as he loves seeing you in nothing but your underwear and one of his metal t-shirts, wearing his clothes for long would be a challenge — the moment he catches sight of you like that, he's instantly turned on. That Metallica shirt would meet the floor. But... there would be times when he would want to have you with nothing but that on.
✨️ He wouldn't mind if you accidentally call him Aemond in the middle of it. It even spurs him on. He would also beg you to please call him my Prince or Prince Regent.
✨️ You would help him practice his lines. One thing in particular—he would want to fully act out the steamy scenes between Aemond and Alys with you, so he could carry that memory of you in his performance.
✨️ He would drive you both around in the old Ford he got from his dad as a gift for his 22nd. You like that he still uses the same car, even as his success continues to grow. And you would become quite familiar with every inch of that newly upholstered backseat.
✨️ If you ask him, he'll tell you he's keeping that car until it's nothing but rust on wheels. Every faint stain and tiny scratch on the leather a reminder of heated moments (fogged up windows, tangled limbs, sharp commands, gear shifts, riding) too precious to part with.
✨️ Not to mention, that backseat is his favourite location to do it in. And it's yours too ;)
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fishnapple · 13 hours ago
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How they proclaim their love for you
(lover/partner/future spouse)
This reading is about how the person you have in mind would proclaim their love for you. You can consider these as their mini love affirmations
Disclaimer : cheesy edition
This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.
Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐
About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (Read this post : personal reading)
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CUBE 1
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• Let's take all our time in this world. There's no need to rush. Time? It might not even exist for us. We have escaped time.
• You sent an electric shock down to my core and I still find myself standing. Stronger than ever. Like a machine getting its fuel.
• Our language is of moonlight, fluttering wings, laughter of the stream, cloudy scents of flesh.
• Our lips kiss through the air with words.
• Actions speak louder and we are loud in our actions.
• My mind is spinning, soaring then diving, goes a hundred miles around then comes back, struggling to take you all in.
• This dark corner is our playground.
• I'm in hardworking mode when it comes to our connection. I have lofty goals. Let's work hard together.
• We look like kids when we're out into the outside world together. People ask whether we are friends? We are best friends, whether we are lovers? We are best lovers, whether we're having fun? Nothing is more fun and more serious.
• I have fears, but when I open my mouth, I don't let them escape. But you helped them get out. Is this a prison break for them or for me?
• My mind keeps going back and forth from past to future and you're there, in all of them.
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CUBE 2
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• Here, take my money. What's mine is yours.
• Do you know the plot where one character is thrown into a dire situation, and somehow, the other one character will come to their rescue. That's me, I'm the one rescued, by you.
• After winter is spring, time goes on, seasons change, I have you with me to witness that together.
• I've become greedy. Wanting to possess every minuscule expression of yours. If I would just freeze them in time.
• Do you see those wild beasts outside the window? And here we are, snuggle comfortably in our home, safely. The light of our home attracted those beasts, they're outside, cold and hungry. Our home will welcome them, but they won't be able to come in as their old shells. They will come in as happiness, transformed.
• I fall in love fast and then I keep it slow.
• I love giving you a bath, bubbling up your hair, seeing water running on your skin then later drying your hair for you and smelling the fresh shampoo scent. Aromatherapy at its finest.
• There's this need growing in me, and I can feel it growing in you too, we share some parts of ourselves with each other. This need is big, it's overwhelming, it makes my heart feel a tugging pain, it animates my body, giving me energy. It's the need to be, to stay alive, so that I can be together with you.
• I know all the right words yet feel like a fool with you.
• I imagine myself a parent, coming home to see our kids fighting, then I will act as a mediator, coming in to lecture them. I look forward to this scenario more than the promotions of my career. Biggest achievement.
• Thank you for letting me love you.
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CUBE 3
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• Loving you feels like second nature for me, something I've done so many times already, everything in me just do it automatically.
• We definitely have met before. Did we share past lives together? You look so familiar, like the ghost in my dreams, the daydreams in my head, the face of a character in those novels I read.
• My soul is a trapped pool, I would use my bare hand to scoop out all the dirt and monsters from it, take a cupful of water, boil it over and over again until it transparently pure, keep it warm or ice it the way you like then present it to you.
• I stand firm on this earth, confident that I have someone to come back to.
• Our hearth is the most sacred place to me. I would put offering before it, just like how people of bygone days worshipped at the god altar.
• I will keep it warm and nourishing for you.
• Never fear.
• Our lifetime together will blink by so fast, I'm already missing it. But have no fear, it won't end.
• We navigate this path so well that we're definitely professional travellers.
• Change of places, change of jobs? Doesn't matter, I can go along with everything, as long as there's no change of hearts.
• We've travelled from faraway lands to each other and we will continue to travel together.
• I wish you could read my mind and feel my heart, and I could do the same for yours, it would save a lot of time and misunderstanding.
• This is just the beginning.
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CUBE 4
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• I will tell you "I love you" everyday. Make that a checklist.
• If you and I went to the same school, you would be my high-school sweetheart, the one that I would secretly gush about in little notes, the one that I would absentmindedly draw a heart next to your name.
• Even if we were continents apart, I still feel you next to me, every waking moment and every sleepy dream.
• You fill my throat with sweet sweet love dripping down so much I feel like I can't breathe.
• I love you.
• I can't speak! Tongue tied. Unlock me. But then, if the door is open, I'm too shy to step out.
• In sickness and in health.
• I feel a part of myself went missing whenever you're not here.
• Your pain makes me bleed.
• This is new to me, I don't know what to do. Help me, teacher.
• I probably have a malfunction somewhere in the system to be acting like this. What have you done?
• You are love personified.
• Life has been good since you came to me. But it also has been exceptionally difficult for me to stay alone.
• I have imagined countless times how you would hold my younger self in your arms and feel soothed by them. I may not get to feel it in the past, but I will feel it now, for my past self, my present self and my future self.
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vanillawomb · 2 days ago
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but you belong to me (jungkook) !
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tw sexual content - mini post.
· ꪆৎ
jungkook caressed your lower back as you move yourself on him. he lets his head rest on the back of the couch as he moans your name, "yn~" over and over again.
the tv was playing music in the background, house of balloons echoing through his apartment. your moans were soft but clear, clear enough for jungkook to hear. It hurts how badly his cock was throbbing. he needed it so badly.
"yn, please baby. I need you- hop on it, please." his voice was drained because of all the moaning and praising he had done.
you breathe heavily and feel the damp air becoming colder as you take off your top. your breasts were now exposed and jungkook was dazed.
"shit baby," he murmured.
"kook, you're so sweet-" you say randomly. he squeezes his eyes shut before grabbing your ass. he needs to cum, you've been rubbing his poor cock on your clit for long enough.
jungkook groans, "mh- ahgh!"
the soft fabric of your panties squeezed his cock even more when you pushed it into your pussy. you whine when his thick cock stretches you out — it burns, but the pain...it feels so good.
"that's my good girl- such a good girl for me." jungkook gives short breaths between words. the words he had to gain effort to form. he was so exhausted, used with pleasure.
you laugh softly, "jungkook, your cock. oh- it's so big!" his cock was truly something you can't ever get used to. it was thick and way too much for you to sit on, only so much can go inside of you.
"yeah?" he teases, "too much for my baby girl to handle? isn't that a shame." jungkook had switched on you. his body tensed up and his tatted arm came up to pull you closer to him. "sit all the way down."
you look into his eyes with nervousness. could you handle it? could you take all of him at once? the thoughts ran through your mind and your body shakes at the feeling.
"go on." jungkook smirks. he enjoys your reactions because of how sensitive and tight your pussy is.
you take a breath, really noticeable because of the way your chest rises and falls in a quick manner. jungkook groans and gasps, seeing your face convert into pleasure as you sink all the way down on his cock.
"mh ahh!" you cry out and grab onto jungkook's shoulders. he looks at you with soft eyes, obviously lost in yours.
he chuckled breathlessly, "fuck- good girl. my girl."
you whine when you start to bounce on jungkook, the way his cock hit your good spot each time makes you see stars.
"kook, I feel so good!" you plea, "I don't want it to s-stop."
he smiles lovingly before helping you; grabbing your hips, pulling them up and down to keep you steady.
"we don't need to, sweetheart. we can fuck all night, mm." jungkook's words made butterflies erupt in your tummy. you knew you were gone with when that happened — so, so horny.
"ah-ahh!" you hide your face in jungkook's neck and breathe in the aroma of his sweat. it was sweet and sexy, everything you need to keep you calm while his cock destroys your insides.
jungkook moans, "ooh- mmh. gonna cum baby? huh, cum for me- I've got you."
you nod desperately, then you feel his cock jerk inside of you. the way his moans got more and more erotic let you know he was about to cum as well.
"ooh yes!" you scream loudly and pull your head back. the feeling of jungkook cum inside your pussy makes you feel full, but in a good way.
"please- mm c'mon. cum baby." jungkook kisses your left breast, moving to the other to do the same. he slapped your ass and groaned at the sound.
you wince, "agh!"
your pussy tightened around his shaft and you fell apart. you cried loudly and squeezed jungkook's arms and shoulders, unsure on how to handle how strong your orgasm was.
he admired you, "so pretty when you cum. like an angel."
-
banner by me xo / masterlist
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yanderefarm · 2 days ago
Note
I'm so feral about Nephite, like I want to just keep him on my lap for weeks.
Would he be okay with wearing a collar if reader gifted it to him, readers name engraved on the leather, Nephite's name in cursive letters on a pendant.
Idk man isk
i remember talking about omega collars with my friend awhile ago and i stumbled upon a post that tried to make omegaverse collars that work as guards for scent glands/marks. so i know you meant a more traditional dog collar but this is what made sense to me. and i even drew it!
the idea
cw;; omegaverse, religion, suggestive, marking
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nephite was surprised when you mentioned a collar, you talked about it so casually like it was inevitable that he would wear a collar. the omega flustered, his face growing red as he struggled to find his words.
"wh-what do you me-mean? my-my collar..."
"oh. are you not ok with it? i knew a lot of omegas who would get collars to protect their scent glands."
"oh!! oh... ri-right! lots of... lots of other... omegas..." he shifted from side to side in your lap his hands fidgeting and fumbling.
"i want to get something nice that'll show off your bite without exposing your neck. what do you think?"
"uhm... o-ok..."
honestly nephite had only agreed because he worried you preferred omegas in collars. if he said no maybe you wouldn't want him anymore!! maybe you would run off with a collared omega, a more obedient one. so despite his own hesitations to be caught wearing such a thing he agreed.
until he saw it.
it was a genuine omega collar that covered up the crook of his neck in a beautiful white lace with golden patterns woven into it. the middle of it was chained together with a sturdy chain, towards the bottom of it was a beautiful blue gem that opened up to show your name and address. his own name was embroidered on the back of the collar that would be hidden by his hair. like his own name was unimportant in the face of your ownership.
"you won't have to wear turtlenecks anymore."
"oh-oh... i... we-well those were for modesty..."
"you don't have to be modest anymore."
his cheeks turned a bright pink as you stepped forward, your fingers undoing the collar's latches.
"maybe... maybe we should w-wait...?" he took a step back from you.
you tilted your head, concerned. "what's wrong? do you not like it? i picked the gold to match your eyes."
"i... i like it... i do!" he did. it was so thoughtful and intimate, his heart was racing.
"but...?"
"but... it feels... a little.... inappropriate..? sh-should i really wear that in public...."
"you don't have to but it's really not something perverted. you can see omegas in collars all the time in the city."
he fidgeted back and forth. "do you like omegas in collars?"
"i mean it's hot. I've always wanted to put a collar on my own omega and show the world I own you."
he shivered. "you... mmngh... you just said it's not dirty."
"it's not! just because something is sexy doesn't mean it's dirty. like wearing thigh highs or low cut tops."
"those both sound sinful."
"ok... but is it sinful for an alpha to own his omega?"
"no..."
"so it's fine!"
"i... mmngh... i really want to wear it... i do! i just... everyone will stare..."
you stepped closer this time reaching out to him with an empty hand, like you were approaching a startled cat. nephite didn't pull away this time instead he moved a little bit closer to your hand.
"everyone should stare at you. everyone should look at you and think 'wow there goes the prettiest omega I've ever seen'. and then they'll see my bright red mark under your collar and know that you're mine."
"I'm yours..." his cheeks were red as he nuzzled into your hand.
you reached forward with the collar and started to slowly slide it on him. he let out a little moan.
"I'm yours."
"mhm. my pretty omega."
nephite moved his hair out of the way as you tightened the collar around his neck. the cold metal laid against his windpipe just tight enough to always remind him of it's presence. he reached up to the blue gem and started to fiddle with it.
"uhmm.. i-i know you just put it on but... can-can we go to the bedroom... and m-maybe make more marks underneath...."
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notlhecxzsa · 2 days ago
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Never Wanted Love Just A Fancy Car - N.R
Summary: Time seemed to pass by so quickly, everything seemed to be moving past between Natasha's fingers, but would she let the only thing that seemed to be giving her everything go? It is not what she wanted anyways... right?
Author's Note: Hii! Omg, finally! I hope this is enough to fill the weeks I haven't updated, I kind of got lost and everything's piling up. But, now, I finally have a good vision on how I want this to go! This is 3k+ words.
Warnings: Starting of Mean!Natasha (ughhh, here we go), bruises, mentions of abuse, sad Y/n (give my girl back her dog and lucy!)
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3rd Person's POV:
A week has already passed by, a routine was set between Y/n and Natasha. Inside that week, Maria, Clint and the other noticed how Natasha stayed in the penthouse, which was very unusual, given that she mostly lives in the manor. They chose not to mention it around the red head, thinking that they might just be thinking too much about it.
Y/n already knows the whole penthouse by heart, keeping everything as tidy as possible even though Natasha had kept saying that she has people to do those things. Making different delicious meals for the both of them, even making extra more for Clint, Maria, Bucky and Steve whom she met on the 3rd day of being there.
Y/n's kindness and attentiveness did not go unnoticed by the people that would come and go inside the penthouse, her actions warms the head of the people around her and makes their stomach churn in a very good way.
Natasha's eyes never left the petite figure of her 'significant other' wherever she goes and whatever she does. The fluttering of her heart makes her want to throw up as the compliments from her friends about Y/n makes her eyes roll. Though, she can't deny that her friends seemed to enjoy going to the penthouse ever since Y/n came.
Late night games and movies became a thing for the past week and a half, 'addicting meals'—as to how Bucky proclaimed it to be, are always served, all while Natasha kept to herself, specifically on times when she and Y/n are not alone.
She felt a magnetic-like energy, rather work at home than to do the work she normally would choose to do. Her tongue burning to get a taste of whatever's being cooked in the kitchen. The little moments and conversation that was spent between the younger girl became something she cherished and most awaited every single day, even though she will never admit it—even to herself.
Now, at the very moment, Y/n was cooking in the kitchen while Natasha seemed to be having a very serious call on the balcony with someone. Y/n's eyes kept checking her over, eyes raking on the expressions she wear across the kitchen, to the living room and to the balcony. She wanted so badly to ask what was wrong, her inside a raging bull that kept pushing her to be there for her...wife.
Before she could even go deep inside her thoughts, the sound of the sliding door filled the air and she quickly looked down to what she was cooking. she was cooking, heavy footsteps was what it was followed, then those deep heavy sighs she's starting to get familiar with. She's stressed. Natasha is stressed.
"Are you-" She started, not even getting the chance to talk before Natasha's dominant voice went straight to her ears.
"I'm going out. Don't wait up for me. I just need to deal with something." Natasha's footsteps did not falter, not even a bit as she passed through the kitchen, leaving Y/n alone and confused, her heart and mind fighting wether should she check on the redhead or not.
This is the first time she witnessed the redhead so stressed—the first time witnessed Natasha going out to do something without even knowing what it is. Usually, there would be a follow up reason, a short explanation from Natasha without even asking. Now, she just acted so...weird. There wasn't much evidence that Y/n saw from how she just acted, but Y/n could feel it.
What happened?
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Back at the penthouse, silence enveloped the whole atmosphere as Y/n fixed the food inside the microwave, deciding to wait up for Natasha so that they could eat together. Surely, she won't be home late, right? She always gets home by dinner.
Deciding to spend her time waiting by the living room, turning on the TV to watch something. Her hand subconsciously going up to play with her ring finger, wondering when will the ceremony of their wedding will be. Her mind fantasizing how beautiful the even might be, her younger self's dreams might finally happen in just a few days.
Her mind flooded with questions. Will my parents be there? Will Lucy gonna be there? Tamtam? Her heart fluttering in excitement at the thought of the two latter. She don't know how the wedding will go, all she knows is that this is all about something between Natasha's parents and her's. But, it's a wedding, a special event, a matrimony, it has to mean something more than just a business plan, right? Right.
Even though she still has mixed feelings about her unknown relationship with Natasha, she kept learning on how to love her, that what a wife does, right? That's what they should do.
Clad in her usual clothing, leggings and a domesticated sweater with her hair up in a ponytail and strands of hair falling to the sides of her face. Her attention was swarmed by the announcement spoken by the reporter on the television.
"Stark's industry has once again published a new electronic device, setting a standardized testing all over the countries, even in Asia. But, nevertheless, we can see how Romanoff corporation is still on top of the business. Electronics, weaponry, and services for the people and the government...." A small smile made its way on her face, her heart beats with pride. She was proud. She took a mental note to congratulate the red head later, maybe that's where Natasha was going. To discuss about this, this should be something to be celebrated.
Her gaze averted down to her arm, where the sleeves of her sweater was slightly ridden up. There was a vivid bruising, already healing. Caressing it, her eyes fell into a solemn look, thinking of home. Tammy, Lucy. She just hopes they're doing good. Her parents would call her, asking how she is, spending only a minute to talk to her before the conversation is averted about Natasha.
Pulling up the sweater to check on her other bruises, she saw how the others are still visible in the eyes close-up. She hopes it will be gone soon, people might think weird of her once they notice how she only wears a sweater and cover-ups.
Too lost in her thoughts, she did not notice the ninja-like footsteps getting near her. "Y/n?..." She jumped up at the sound, looking up to see Maria with a certain look on her face, her eyes glazing over the arm that was set in front of her. "Are you okay? What happened?" Looking down, Y/n realized that the sleeves was still ridden up.
Quickly pulling it down, she stood up. "Maria! I didn't- I didn't hear you... Why are you here?" Y/n mentally slalpped herself, sounding so nervous and maybe even mean. Fiddling the hem of her sleeves, she continued, "Have you eaten already? I cooked something... I-I'm just waiting for Natalia to come home, she left earlier, by the way-just incase you're looking for her..." She trailed off, not knowing what to say anymore.
Maria's gaze stayed for a while on Y/n's covered arms that was visible a while ago. She saw it. Bruises littered on her body is what her life is all about in this business, and she can't be mistaken if she saw one. She saw the stiff shoulder of Y/n and what seemed like a tensed body, clearly having a good read that it is not something she would be open into talking about. But to Natasha, she will for sure ask about it. There's no way Natasha's hurting her?
"Yeah- no, I mean, I was just gonna pass by to bring these papers to Natasha..." Briefly holding up a briefcase in hand, Maria's gaze averted to look back into Y/n's face. "She's been spending work times here, I told her I'd just give this to her and she agreed—where is she, by the way? Did she say anything about where she was going?" Maria asked as she put the suitcase on the coffee table and sat on the couch.
Y/n stayed standing up, "Uhm... no, she left in a hurry... and she also seemed stress." Silence enveloped the atmosphere around them, Maria seemed to be in a very deep thought as her gaze glued on the television while Y/n shifted on where she was standing.
"Would you— would you like to eat, Ria?" Maria look back at the young girl, smiling at the sound of the new nickname she earned.
"What do you have there?" Standing up, they both walked towards the kitchen.
"I cooked salmon! I also did some vegetables salads, if you would like I can make you some juices." Setting up a plate, Maria frowned.
"Aren't you gonna eat too? Did you eat already?" Sitting down, she muttered a small thank you when a glass of water was set in front of her.
"No, don't worry about me. I'll wait for Natalia..." Maria's eyes squinted a little as she looked at Y/n who was taking out the food from the oven.
"Why do you keep calling her Natalia?" Maria blurted out and Y/n frowned, her movements faltering as she turned to look at Maria.
"Isn't that her name?" She questioned.
With a chuckle, Maria took a sip on her water as the food was set in front of her. "No, yeah, it is, it is. She hates that name, do you know that? We all call her Natasha." Maria explained, amusement sparking in her voice.
With a deeper frown, Y/n sat down beside her, after setting all the food that is available in front of the raven haired woman. "She hates it? Really?" With a blown confused voice, she asked. "It's just... it was what I used to call her... before. From as far as I can remember."
"Yeah... but, doesn't seem like it when you're that one calling her that..." Maria took a bit of the delicious food, just as she was about to take a second bite, her movements faltered. "Wait... before?" Looking at Y/n who was looking ahead into a space, seemingly lost in her thoughts with a faint blush creeping up on her cheeks.
"Yeah... when we were kids. She used to come in our house with her parents, but I remember only very little." She explained, looking at Maria with a small smile on her face. "Why?" Seeing the distant look on Maria's face, she asked curiously.
A blip of silence came over, the gears running inside of Maria's head seemed to be heard by the girl beside her before she clears her throat slowly. "Urhm... no, nothing. Just curious, that's all—This is so good, by the way. Might eat it all if only Natasha would not kill me." Giggling, Y/n shook her head.
"I can cook you another?" Warmth spreading in her chest, she thought how Natasha got so lucky.
"No, no, don't bother, this is all good." With a nod, Y/n settled beside Maria, conversation thrown at each other like a normal friends would do.
Y/n could only hope Natalia is fine and will come home sooner.
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3rd Person's POV:
Hours passed by and the both of them had settled by the living room, with Maria deciding to stay for a couple of more hours and Y/n now falling asleep on the couch.
Averting her gaze from the television to the young woman who had her head on her knuckles while the other hand cuddled a pillow on her lap. Maria looked down on her phone, all of her messages from Natasha popped up immediately with no reply in sight. Sighing she got up to get herself a glass of water, deciding to stay a few more minutes before heading off.
As she was pouring herself a glass of water, a sheets of colored papers along with some art materials caught her eyes. Flower papers. The same ones she saw on Natasha's glovebox. The same one she also saw on Natasha's room yesterday.
Huh. Smirking, she shook her head before the sound of the door caught her attention. It might be Natasha. Deciding to stay in the kitchen as those familiar quiet footsteps reached her ears. From where she was standing, she could still clearly see where Y/n was laying on the couch but she's not visible for anyone to see if the person walking inside will go straight in the living room.
She watched as the familar form of a red haired woman with a dominant aura walked slowly with careful steps that Maria is not familiar with approach the young woman. With furrowed eyebrows, curiosity filled her body as she watched Natasha stand still, her figure looming over the girl, just watching over her.
Slowly, a sly smirk made its way on her face as she decided to step little by little closer to the living room, coming into a view where she can see Natasha's face clearly.
There was a certain look in Natasha's face that she could not pinpoint. A certain look she'd never seen before. Now, with a frown, she thought how could Natasha not notice another presence with them? With her eyes soft and tensed at the same time, analyzing the small figure by the couch, she decided to get her attention.
"Natasha..." With an uncertainty in her voice, she called out.
Head whipping around, shoulder becoming tensed as her features falter, Natasha replied, "Maria..." Clearing her throat, she straighten up, turning on her heels and walked towards the kitchen, her eyes trailing towards the art materials present on the table. "What are you doing here?"
Watching as Natasha opened up the fridge but just stared. "I got you the files. Where did you went?" She asked.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you not to come anymore. I'll be going back at the mansion." Closing the fridge, she went to sit on one of the stools, now looking straight into Maria's eyes, not caring how she ignored the second question.
Frowning, she asked, "What? What about Y/n?"
Natasha shrugged, "What about her? I mean, she's doing fine here...I can just check on her—you guys can check on her from time to time." Taking a sip on the beer she got from the fridge, she averted her gaze to look by the living room, her gaze immediately falling down on the young woman laying on the couch.
With a still frown, Maria couldn't help but notice how the atmosphere had shifted, now taking notice that there was something up with her friend. She know her too well not to notice it, but seeing how tensed Natasha was, she chose not to question. Questions that are already piling up after the things she had witnessed and learned today.
"Well, then, I should go now. The files are by the living room..." Turning, Maria gathered her things she left on the kitchen counter earlier.
"Thank you, Maria." Natasha said with a monotone, acknowledging the effort that was made by the woman.
With a nod, Maria walked towards the exit, but her movements faltering as she turned her head to look at Natasha who was still looking ahead. "She cooked for you..." Even with her face in a stone cold feature, Maria could see right through her. "She was waiting for you to come back."
Receiving no reply, Maria headed off, leaving Natasha in her own bubble that seemed to be going off in any moment.
As soon as the sound of the door closing in, she swallowed a heavy lump that formed in her throat, her facade falling into pieces as she took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she let it out.
As soon as she opened it, she saw a movement by the living room. Taking a large swig of the beer, she watched as the figure took notice of her presence. Those eyes that haunted her in her sleep, the same ones she craved as soon as she wakes up. Natasha made no effort in resolving her facade, watching as the young woman marched forward in the kitchen, strands of hair falling into place as she took careful steps just like what she always do, as if worrying that she might trip.
Natasha learned all her habits, the way she would tuck her hair behind her ear, how she would fiddle the ends of her sleeve as she tried to cover up her hands as if she was not covered enough with those sweaters and cardigans along with leggings and pants that seemed to be countless. The way her eyes would move everywhere when she's nervous and couldn't seemed to hold an eye contact. Many more she could not even begin to explain, and many more she could not stop thinking about.
She was held captive, and she knows it. Especially, after tonight. It was a hard pill to swallow, finally realizing that she was capable of doing something she grew up thinking she was not able to do so.
"You're home." Home. Natasha's gaze felt like she was burning holes into Y/n's eyes. "Do you wanna eat? Wait, let me just reheat it. Maria was here earlier, she got your files by the living room—oh, I also made a dessert for us, thankfully Maria did not see it inside the fridge, she would eat it all for sure." A giggle passed her soft lips, even though she was not in Natasha's view, the red head could see the smile she wanted so badly to keep from the world and own it to herself.
So that she could only see it.
So that she could only smile for her.
She was not supposed to feel like this, and that was what makes it more a bitter thing to taste.
"She's just simply the paper in between their business, Natasha. After the marriage, you and I both know she's nothing to father..."
Her facade hardened at the voice of her sister from earlier, receiving the truthful message that made everything clear for her.
She was not supposed to feel like this because that smile was never meant to be hers.
She has a mission to do, a mission for herself.
"...and you and I both know she means nothing to you..."
Standing up, everything seemed to be closing in around her. Gulping down the beer while her eyes strayed away from the one's who's trying to catch it with a confused and worrying gaze.
"I'm not hungry. You should also clean that mess up... can't have my house piling up with childish things." Pointing briefly on the art material she knew clearly well was meant to be given to her.
She was met with silence, and it was almost deafening. Walking away, her insides screamed to her the giggle earlier, craving to hear her voice filling up the air as she bid her goodnight.
Once again, a lump started to form in her throat, but this time, she can't find the strength to swallow.
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Author's note: Hope you liked it! I tried my best, really ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ I'll do better on the next one! More angst piling up in the corner, I know this seemed to be in a rush but I promise to give more on the next ones! Many peeps keeps on messaging me and piling up my asks so I just did what I can do at the moment ಠ⁠ ⁠೧⁠ ⁠ಠ thank you for reading, until next time!
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bloggerspam · 1 day ago
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"Sam's going to kill us."
Val mutters, dragging Danny with a firm grip to his arm. He's not eating nearly enough if his arm is this skinny. Val's going to have to call Jazz about it.
"Sam won't kill us,." Danny soothes, letting her plop him into the seat of his own damn motorcycle. Hers is still 'out of commission' so she hops on behind him.
"I'm sorry, are we talking about the same Sam Manson?" Val snarks, putting on her helmet and feeling jittery as Danny slowly puts on his.
The microphones flicker to life, just as Danny revs up the bike. "We're on vacation, it's not like we're on a schedule and it's not our fault your college administration is literally the pits."
They have 15 minutes to get to the Thai place to grab dinner, and 10 minutes to get back to the hotel before they're irrevocably late. The talk with her professor, and subsequently the talk with the woman at the Bursar's office, ran longer than either of them expected it to. But it's all sorted now, her scholarship is in tact, and apparently she even has a monthly stipend, which will make things much easier on her and her dad.
"Just floor it Fenton!" Val growls, and she can feel his eyes rolling as he digs in.
"You asked for it!" Danny cackles, and does as he's bid.
They make good time on the Thai food, but of course (as all things go with Danny) Fenton Luck strikes again.
They're about halfway back to the hotel, when they get, of all things, pulled over for speeding.
"How did you not see the police car?" Val grouses, texting Sam and Tucker and trying to make sure her hands are visible. You never know.
When Danny doesn't answer her, she leans a little to see what's going on. He's looking through what looks like a small compartment on the side of the bike near the handlebars, frozen like he's just discovered something devastating.
"What's going on?" Val hisses, jabbing Danny in the side and jolting him to look at her. It's hard to tell through the dark visor, but she recognizes the way his body scrunches up. Something's wrong.
"So. Uh." Danny starts, curling his shoulders in and of all things, touching his index fingers together delicately like some kind of sheepish cartoon character, "Remember how I only just finished this bike last month?"
Val freezes. "Danny. Danny don't tell me you didn't—"
A cough to their left has both of them whipping their heads around. The officer who pulled them over, presumably, waits bemusedly with his arms crossed and hip popped like he thinks they're funny. He's tall, lithe but definitely packin' some muscle with dark blue eyes and black hair that reminds her of Danny. Gotham sure has a lot of people of the same coloring—even her boss shares it, though his eyes are more teal-in shade.
"License and registration, please." The officer chirps, looking both apologetic and stern at the same time. She's only ever seen Jazz pull that look off, and honestly she'd be more relaxed at the sight if Danny hadn't forgotten to register his god damn motorcycle. Considering the bike is tricked out to all hell, runs on ghost tech and thoroughly looks as illegal as it apparently is, she'd be surprised if they weren't arrested.
"Uh. So. Here's the thing Officer…" Val face palms as Danny fumbles his way through a shoddy explanation of his own incompetence. Dumbest smart guy she'll ever know, she fuckin' swears—him and Tucker!
She sighs. Sam's definitely going to kill them. At least the bloodshed will have to wait until after she bails them out.
Small mercies.
===
"Tucker, hurry up." Sam hisses, which, easy for her to say. She's not the one with asthma and a propensity to sit at home and do nothing but play games for weekend long marathons.
"I'm trying Sam, I don't even know what you even need me for, you know how to hot wire a motorcycle!" Tucker grunts as he crawls painfully over the crest of the fence. The points of it jab into his kidney, maybe even his gall bladder. Does he even need those things? Is he gonna die? He'll have to ask Danny.
"I haven't read Danny's manual on the new bike yet, dingus." Sam growls, but thankfully catches him when he successfully rolls over to the other side. His hero, really. Danny can take a back seat.
Tucker had hacked the impound's records earlier that day, so they head immediately towards the correct lot.
Except when they get there, they're not the only ones.
If Tucker isn't mistaken—and he rarely ever is—that is Jason Todd and Stephanie Brown, the current crushes Danny and Val are harboring, and they are just as if not more surprised to see Sam and Tucker.
Jason is currently crouched beside the bike, examining the side console meant for diagnosis and looking utterly lost. Stephanie—Steph, he recalls Val saying she introduced herself as—looks like she's breaking into the wheel lock.
Well shit. Can you do the Spiderman meme if none of you look alike?
The four of them stand there frozen, staring at each other and gaping stupidly and each no doubt wondering what the fuck is happening right now.
Sam, of course, is the first to recover. "Jason Todd. Stephanie Brown." She crosses her arms, pops her hip and raises an eyebrow. "What do you think you're doing?"
Steph recovers second. "What are you, a cop?"
The sheer offense that Sam adopts over her face would make Tucker laugh, if they weren't standing in the middle of an impound lot trying to steal an illegal ecto-bike at close to 10pm.
"What she means," Tucker opens his arms wide, holding Sam back with one and gesturing towards the bike with the other, "Is if you're not careful, that thing could blow up—literally—in your faces."
Sam huffs, making a sort of well? gesture.
"Oh." Jason carefully stands up from his crouch, snagging Steph by the back of her shirt and pulling them away just slightly, "We just—ahem, wanted to help."
"Help your employee?" Sam challenges, before smirking, "Or trying to impress the boy you like?"
Steph coughs, covering a laugh, freezing when Sam turns her wicked eyes on her, "Or perhaps you were cajoled into it," Sam squints, "Stephanie Brown, right? You seem quite fond of Val, what with all the invitations to spar."
"Not that Val ever realizes," Tucker laughs, "Ignore Sam over here—Tucker, by the way, nice to meetcha, heard a lot about ya'll—She just likes giving her friends' love interests a good once over, y'know?""
Steph and Jason share a look, before looking away with decidedly redder faces. Jason splotchy on the bridge of his nose, Steph burning her neck. Even in the dark, Tucker can see it, hard not to when you're the only one with melanin in the group.
"Listen," Tucker decides to be merciful, "We—I love whatever is goin' on here, big fan of when people love on my friends, real refreshing actually—"
Sam huffs, elbowing him, so he coughs and tries again. "The point is, whilst the thought is nice, I wasn't joking when i said it would literally blow up in your faces."
Sam rolls her eyes as his dramatics, but doesn't disagree. "It runs off highly sensitive and reactive fluids, kept securely in a blast proof container. But if you happened to open it, accidentally or otherwise fiddling with the controls…"
Tuck mimes a little kabloom!
"What?" Steph stumbles back, though all Jason does is eye the bike in a new light. Hm. Interesting. That's certainly a Red Hood expression if Tucker ever did see one. Judging by the way Sam squints at the other man, she thinks so too.
"How did you even know Danny's bike was taken to the impound anyway?" Sam is really doing this whole shovel talk thing at 110% huh. Not that Tuck blames her, with Danny's history of people fucking him over. "Are you tracking him?"
That gets Tucker's hackles up immediately. He knew that Oracle was snooping around Amity Park files, but as far as he knew, she hadn't gotten far. The Fentons are a fairly visible family, what with their patents and unhinged nature of advertising their inventions, but Danny and Jazz are actually pretty invisible on the internet.
They, unlike their parents, took internet safety very seriously.
To be more precise, Jazz did, and Danny learned from her, so.
Plus, Tucker's no slouch at protecting his friends from the perils of the interweb. Especially since he and Technus like to futz around with firewalls every second Saturday of the month.
You don't take down an entire Government Organization's network together and just stop hanging out. It's just not done.
"No!" Jason and Steph yell in sync, whipping their heads towards each other after a moment, "At least, I'm not—"
Before it can devolve into what looks like a sibling fight, Sam stomps her foot down. Childishly, Tucker might add, if he didn't value his life. (Which he does, so he keeps his mouth shut.)
"How." Sam growls. They shut up immediately, going shifty.
Jason, brave man that he is, mumbles something under his breath. Steph, a much more braver woman, shuts her eyes and throws Jason under the proverbial bus in a rush of panicked words.
"His brother is the cop that arrested them!" Her voice echoes in the darkness of the impound lot. Jason slaps his hands against his face, groaning and quietly hissing at Steph about inside voices, dumbass.
Tucker can't help it. Once the words register, all he can do is laugh and laugh and laugh.
Sam sighs, pushing Jason out of the way and shoving Tucker, who is struggling to breathe, towards the bike to unlock it. "I need a drink."
"Y-you," Tucker's hands are steady and quick, even through his laughter, "doN't ev-e-n drink!"
"Ice cream then." Sam grumbles. "Why are Danny's love interests always so troublesome?"
"You tell m-me," There's a click, Tucker's laughter just barely dying down as he stands up and allows Jason to start rolling the bike off the lot, "You were one of-of them!"
Jason stiffens, but Sam pats him on the shoulder, hard. "When we were 14 and our only other choice was you, Tuck."
"Hey! That's hurtful, first of all," Tucker feels indignant, "And second of all, you could have been an A-lister from the start if you wanted to. Third of all, Danny had choices! Dash and Wes were right there."
They manage to get out of the impound lot easily enough, and with Steph and Jason's lead they start heading towards the city proper.
"You mean his bully and stalker?" Sam challenges, crossing her arms as they stop by what Tucker assumes to be either Jason or Steph's car.
Jason stiffens up again, grip going white on Danny's handlebars, though he relaxes at Tucker's next statement.
"You and I both know Danny would have brought them to heel." Tucker counters, "Besides, the point was that Danny had options. He just never noticed."
Sam thinks on that, before nodding. "True."
Jason huffs a small laugh, looking charmed beyond belief. "He that oblivious?"
"Sam had to sit him down and tell him she wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend before he even realized Sam liked him." Tucker shakes his head, grinning, "Still didn't believe her until she planted one on him."
"Better than Val," Sam chuckles, facing Steph, "She's a bad bitch when it comes to men but suddenly a pretty lady talks to her and she's all that's just how girls are, Sam! How am I supposed to tell when they're flirting, Sam! Girls are smarter and if they liked me like that it would be OBVIOUS Sam!"
Steph giggles, hand coming up to stifle it, and her eyes gain a new gleam to her eye. Oh good, so Steph does like Val back. Nice.
"So how was this gonna go?" Tucker says after a moment of silence. "You get the bike, then what?"
Jason and Steph share a look, before Jason's nose gets all red again. "I was gonna wait outside for him, have Dick pull some strings to bail them out and uh, surprise Danny with the bike."
Sam and Tucker look at Steph, who shrugs. "He and Val got locked up together so…I thought Val would appreciate not having to third wheel." She pats the hood of the car, "Was gonna offer her a ride home, after Jason did his thing."
Sam and Tucker perk up then, turning back to Jason. "You gonna ask him on a date??"
"I mean, he's not here for long, right? Just for Christmas?" Jason twitches, like he wants to shove his hands in his pockets, but can't because he's holding up Danny's bike. His shoulders hike up and he pops the bike stand. "I wanted to at least get his number. Get to know him better."
There's a moment of silence, before Tucker and Sam place a hand on each of Jason's shoulders, excitement palpable. "GODS, are we glad you're a bad bitch who gets what he wants. Val was right about you!"
"Uh," Jason's eyes are wide, surprised as if he wasn't expecting that, "Thanks?" He coughs, the red of his nose traveling to his cheeks and staining his ears.
Sam and Tuck let go, though Sam gives him a hearty pat on the back to go with the motion.
"I was gonna bail them out in the morning, let 'em sit in their shame for a bit." Sam turns towards Steph, "You guys know any good ice cream shops open this late in the mean time?"
Steph grins, "Information like that's gonna cost ya." She's clearly joking though, considering she immediately pulls out her phone to bring up some ice cream shops on GPS.
"Will embarrassing stories about Danny and Val cover it?" Tucker cheekily asks.
"Sold, to the man in the beret." Jason deadpans, smirking as he points at Tucker.
It's the start of a beautiful friendship.
Mechanic!Val AU, but make it gay and sapphic.
ya'll can thank the HH discord for this one. Specifically the menace known as @clockwayswrites (and @impyssadobsessions for the art that inspired the damn thing)
Dead on Main and with some future Val/Steph >)
also @belfry-ghost did a doodle for this AU and everyone should go love on his art. Val's so unf.
===
Val’s pretty sure her new boss Jay is actually a crime lord.
She’s pretty sure he’s The Crime Lord, actually. She’s like, 98% sure she works for Red Hood now, and she’s low key mad about it. She squints at the man now, with his white streak and almost imperceptible green sheen to his eyes. 
The problem is that Val did perceive it. Because she used to date a guy whose baby blue eyes changed ever so slightly in the same way. Thinking about Danny makes her even madder.
To be clear, she’s not mad about Red Hood himself. 
She’s just mad that, of all the mechanic shops in all of Crime Alley, she just had to work for her ex-boyfriend’s third place Hall Pass pick. It also makes her miss her friends way more, and Val is hardly what one would call a well-adjusted woman, so she’s mad about it.
She huffs as she lifts the hood of the second car she’s working on today. Being a mechanic wasn’t really on the docket for Val’s life goals, nor was being in Gotham, but she got a full ticket ride on Wayne Foundation scholarships, and honestly? 
Gotham is Amity Park Lite: Gargoyles and Furries Edition. 
Between a full ride to Gotham U and being stuck at Elmerton Community College? The choice was easy. 
So here she is, working for the resident Crime Lord in his civvies. 
Jay pays good, teaches her what she needs to know, and bonus: he sometimes helps with her English Literature class. He’s flexible on hours, and she’s even got rudimentary insurance. 
All in All?  It could be worse—she could still be working for Vlad, after all. 
It's the little things.
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mintmatcha · 3 hours ago
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In the future when they meet again, does sero ever find a way to make amends? Does he explain what he was going through?
He enters the room with your name on his lips.
You still push up your glasses the same way you always did - your palms on the bottom of the frames- and Sero kicks himself for not seeing it earlier. You've changed, of course. Ten years have passed, but your eyes are the same. The downward curve of your lips and the round of your nose: it's all unmistakably you. When you push away from your desk, it's with a confidence you never had back then, and it almost makes him smile.
"Who told you it was me?" you ask. "Eijiro?"
"No," he says. "I remembered all on my own."
It's only a half lie. Bakugo had called you Cram School and the memories had flooded back. The late night anime sessions, the whispered confessions-
The way he ghosted out of your life without warning.
"What do you want, Sero?" you sigh. "How did you even find me?"
Sero had called for a couple favors to track you down. Luckily, you worked with Uraraka's organization now, as a therapist. All those nights at cram school really did work out; you're a doctor, apparently.
"I just-" He breathes in to center himself, hands jammed in his pockets. "I wanted to say I'm sorry. For just--"
"Leaving me?"
"Yeah." The takes that blow in stride, despite the sting. "For disappearing on you."
"Okay." You lean back in your chair, legs crossed. "I don't forgive you."
"Good. Right. Yeah." That hurts worse. "You shouldn't."
You sit there, hands folded, in silence, watching from over your glasses in silence. He wonders when you got so serious, how you lost that sparkle in your eye. Then, he wonders if he even has the right to know.
"I was a fucked up kid, I was going through a lot." Sero steps forward. "My dad was really -"
You interject. "Sorry, I don't offer therapy for anyone over the age of eighteen. Try Dr. Yun down the hall."
Fuck. God, you're witty. You always manage to steal the wind from his sails with a single cut.
"I'm not trying to-" He huffs, trying to remember to advice his actual therapist gave him. "I just want things to be right between us."
"To make yourself feel better?"
"No, because it's the right thing to do when you hurt someone."
This time, you're the one left silent. Your expression goes softer, wider, like you're genuinely surprised.
"I don't need you to forgive me. I don't think you should forgive me," Sero says. "I just want you to be okay."
He takes a half step in, then a full. Then you don't kick him out, he goes directly to your desk.
"Here. I got this for you. Back in high school." He places a little box in front of you, its label faded and partially ripped from time. "I messed up before I had the chance to give it to you."
It takes you a moment to process what's in front of you. It's a little pink figure, maybe a little less than pristine, but still standing there, arms splayed. The sure look on your face starts to drift, falling down, down-
"She's your favorite, right?" Sero urges.
Your expression doesn't get better. No, you look seasick, your legs suddenly untucked and your arms gripping your stomach.
"She's-" he falters. "You like Flora, I thought, was I-?"
"Get out of my office." Your voice is softer now too, closer to what he remembers.
"I thought you'd like it."
"Get out."
He backs up a step, hoping you'll change your mind. When you don't, he retreats down the hall, unsure of whether he did something right or not.
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the-kr8tor · 1 day ago
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250 Years of Longing
Pairing: Vampire! Hobie Brown x Fem! Vampire! Reader
Word count: 5.8k
Synopsis: A brief misunderstanding leads to years of heartache. You mourn 250 years of love while his heart remains to you and only you.
Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, vampire AU, divorced! Vampire! AU, established relationship, CW blood, talks of marriage, hurt/comfort, some fluff.
A/N: Special thanks to @pleaktale !!! This au was born in our dms lol
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Hobie's words are muffled in your ears as you try to hide your trembling, lovelorn body. Your head is in your hands, wide eyes downturned towards the same scruffed floors you've lived in for thirty years with him. You still remember the day you moved in, the walls were in bright yellow back then, wooden floors hidden by some gaudy shag carpet from the 70s. You still remember that decade like it was yesterday, maybe it was just yesterday, being a vampire means that time has moved differently for you. Time is merely something you gloss over, years flying by in a wink. Barely a flutter in your immortal eyes.
Even technology is moving faster and innovating quicker than you could manage to keep up. The next thing you know, you've been alive for more than 250 years.
250 years of being with him, 250 years of wearing the same identical ring, 250 years of loving him. All those 250 years are going through your mind a thousand miles per hour, your first kiss with him, your confession. Or was it him who confessed to you? Were you the one who got sick and he had to find a vampire to turn you and in turn to change him? Or was it the other way around? Memory is a fickle thing when you're older than any living human on earth. You've forgotten a lot of things, memory hazy and foggy like a dream you don't quite remember the second you wake. You wish this was just a dream, a nightmare that you'll wake up from.
“I need to try— I need to go, love.” His words wake you up from the lucid nightmare. He stands in the middle of your shared room, eyes forlorn, brows pinched together like he's in agony. “I can't stay ‘ere like this.”
If his words could kill, you'd be staked through the heart by now. 250 years of being together, practically joined at the hip. A love beyond a simple marriage on paper. And he's just standing there, breaking your long dead heart.
You look up at him through bloody tears, nails digging into your scalp as you try to hide your wails. An impossible feat. “Was it me? Did I do something?” You've faced vampire hunters together, faced horrors beyond belief to survive and continue to live with him. But you were never terrified, until now.
He immediately shakes his head, moving closer to you to take your trembling hands. The identical rings on his and your finger clinks together as he clasps your hand. “No, it's not you, love.” Kneeling down, he gazes at you through wine red eyes, bloody tears threatening to spill over his cheeks that you would always caress in your shared coffin that's hidden beneath the canopy bed you're currently languishing in.
“That's what they all say.” You utter in a small voice that he hasn't heard in decades.
Grasping your hands, he rubs his thumbs over your pulse where your heart would beat. Something he still does even though your hearts haven't beat together in sync ever since that fateful day.
“You didn't do anythin' wrong. I jus’ need to find myself, go out and see the world in my own eyes.”
You nod bitterly. “Without the burden of me.”
“That's not true, you're not a burden.” His hands reach towards your cheeks, wiping the bloody tears cascading down them like rain drops on a cold autumn day. “There are people I could help out there—”
“And I can't? Why can't you just bring me with you?” You wrench yourself away from him, walking away from the bed to give him space lest you let him see you like this. “Just say you're tired of me.” Hugging yourself, you feel his arms wrap around your middle, face tucked in the crook of your neck right where your scar sits.
“‘m not tired of you.” He says against your skin.
Your twist in his arms to face him fully, palms resting on his chest, eyes dim and scared. “Then why leave? Why do you want to leave me?” His shirt is bunched around your fists, desperate to cling to him despite his wishes. “250 years, Hobie. I've known you for more than that, been with you through all of it. I deserve to know why.” You try to reign in your anger and frustration but your fangs suddenly appearing betrays you.
“I don't want to leave you— Time, love. I jus’ need time. That's all we've got.”
You're tired, tired of asking why, tired of clinging to him like a life raft. Tired of your chest aching and feeling heavy as he looks at you with pity— was it pity? Or something else? So you let him go. Fists unfurling, palms leaving his chest as you step away from him.
“Alright.” You sniff, expression falling stiff as you straighten up. “I won't stop you.” If your love for him keeps him from doing what he loves, then you'll let him go. You can still love him from afar, even if he doesn't want you anymore.
“Love.” Hobie reaches your hand, palm sliding up to your elbows as he pulls you closer to embrace you fully. “250 years, not once did I feel I didn't love you.”
You close your eyes as you find yourself hidden atop his throat, memorizing his scent and how he holds you. Feeling how his own tears drip down on you, how his skin feels against your own. Memory is a fickle thing, you'll soon forget, but you don't want to. So you'll cling to him, even if it's just a memory of him.
“I love you, y’know that right?” He whispers to you, and only to you.
“I—” you falter. If you say it back, it feels like goodbye. And you don't want to say goodbye to the one person you have loved for centuries. “—I know, Hobie.” You could only say, saying it back means that you're never going to see him again. Saying it back means it's the end.
He could only hold onto you tighter, lips pecking the crown of your head so gently that you barely felt it in your lovelorn state.
You've got time, but it won't be spent with him. Eternity would feel empty for you now.
It's been six months of being alone, six months since he moved out to find his purpose. He wanted to leave partly so you could also find yourself and be yourself without his presence. 250 years of being together would do that. He doesn't know where he ends and begins when your soul and his own are tangled together for eternity. And he wants that for you too— to be your own self and not just another vampire in the cursed flock.
To be a better eternal partner for you is one of his goals, he needed to leave so he could be better, so he could be good to you for another 250 years more.
And he's willing— wishing that he gets to spend eternity with you after he's satisfied with what he has done to help people. He just hopes that you'd be home to welcome him back once he does. He's sure that you're already making good progress in finding yourself. He already misses you. A lot.
He's already aching for home and your embrace.
So much has happened in those six months, he's excited to tell you everything he has encountered. And even more excited to hear your voice again, to hold you again and sleep in the same coffin with you again and not the shoddy temporary coffin he made out of planks to rest in. He can already see your ecstatic face when he enters the abode again.
Ned has told him that he won't last a year without you. He'd know, Hobie has been friends with him for almost a hundred years now. But he refuses to let him win, even though he really wants to see you right now, or even call you on one of those phones that people seem to be addicted to. But you haven't picked up his calls, or even answered his letters. He has sent one everyday since he left, he's starting to worry now. Even the crew who urged him to go on a worldwide mission with him has placed bets on when he'll run back to you. With the earliest being tomorrow, and the longest being a year. He intends to make them lose, but by god, he misses you so damn much that he's starting to see you in his dreams. And see glimpses of you in the corner of his eyes.
He doesn't regret his decision, but a part of him thinks that you were right— that he should've brought you with him on his journey. Without you his frozen heart feels like it's out of his own body. Walking around without him, living without him. But he knows that it's for the best. It's only temporary, he keeps repeating to himself every night. He'll be with you soon.
As he writes today's letter, he smiles, hands scribbling his day away on the fragrant paper that he knows you'd love especially when it's sprayed with his own perfume.
He can't wait to see you back home.
You were absolutely losing it in that house. You keep seeing him everywhere. With every clatter in the halls, you run towards it in hopes that it's him making a ruckus in the kitchen. With every shadow cast on the walls, you see him walking towards you, arms outstretched to hold you. And then for a moment, he's gone, like a whiff of smoke billowing from a lit cigar.
The house that has love built within its walls seems to tilt in your vision. Weighed down by your grief. You don't know where to place your feeling of abandonment, do you place it in the kitchen where you two used to feed together? Or do you put it right next to your withdrawal, your need to be with him once again?
You choke on your own need.
So you take a page from Hobie's book and left. After just two days of him being gone, you packed your bags and headed out to nowhere. You can't stay anywhere that you have stayed with him before, you're afraid that you'll burst into bloodied tears if you even get a whiff of the same place where you two met all those centuries ago.
You haven't felt this alone since you were nineteen, well, you haven't been nineteen in a long time. You could barely remember your days before you were turned— died. It's like looking into a window of a well lit house whose occupants you once knew well but couldn't talk to anymore. In that well lit house is you and him. Just you and him, him and you.
The lamp posts are hazy in your eyes, buildings whizzing by in a blur of crimson tears. You took the midnight bus, hand never leaving the ring on your finger, and just sat there until the route ended. Then you rode a train, then a boat. And again and again until you reached a little coastal town with a name you could barely remember on good days. And with bad days, the crying comes and goes. Chest still aching, claw marks left all over the tiny cottage you brought.
A dark cloud has settled on you, but with each day passes, with each interaction from the town’s people with their good nature and good intentions, the dark cloud slowly ebbs away. The sun shines on you once again after a year and a half without him, it doesn't burn you nor scorch your skin anymore, it lights your way. The people and the soft sea breeze helped you cope through the uncertainty of being alone.
250 years of togetherness, and not one day you've felt alone, or felt like you've wasted your time with him. 250 years of memories, not one you felt like it went all down the drain. It was worth it, all the calm days to the rough one, it was all worth it.
You still wish to see him, to talk to him, to taste his saccharin ichor on your tongue; to kiss him until you're both laughing against each other's kiss bitten lips. It's a normal feeling, a neighbour once told you after you told her your story (excluding the vampirism). It's alright to miss someone who might not miss you back.
There's a hole that he left in your chest, and you find that you can't fill it in no matter how much you try to fill it with friends and good moments. But it shrinks, it gets smaller with time. It gets better with each day that passes. It has gotten better.
No longer do you feel that time has passed in a blur of colours. It has slowed for you, time. You go outdoors and breathe in the salty air, you talk to people, people you would've ignored back then. You do things you haven't done in decades. And you find that time has barely passed. You live each day, savour it, conquer it with warmth akin to his palm atop your own.
You wish him nothing but the best, and as you promised yourself on that day, you'll continue to love him from afar. The moon gazing down on you reminds you of him, everything reminds you of him. And that's alright, love does that. And it will continue to do so for the rest of eternity.
You've got nothing but time to heal and fill the void with as much light as you can.
Hobie's gnawed with exhaustion, but happy, incredibly happy. After two years of being away, he has helped so many lives with his ‘abilities’. He has plucked away corrupt officials with his own clawed hands, fangs coated in a sheen of rubies, eyes bright and almost glowing in its pools of crimson. He's proud of what he has accomplished, he hopes that you would be too.
Two years went by without you, he may have won the bet by a long shot but he can't stay for another day more. He needs to go home to you or he feels like he'll combust into searing flames if he doesn't get to see you and hold you within the day. He longs for your warm ichor on his tongue, and how you always laugh at his antics after all these years. He smiles at his ring, excited to see its partner in your finger once again.
So he forgoes to write you a letter in an attempt to surprise you with his return. He packs his bags, waves goodbye to his old and new found friends, going home without wasting another second. You're his bright spot amidst the dark eternity, his sun that lights the way, and he finally feels that he's worthy of you. Worthy of your time.
He knows himself better than he did when he was just nineteen and lost in the threads of life. He feels as if he traveled back in time, back when he was a human who craved to leave his mark in the world. Only this time, he accomplished the latter. Now, as he promised himself that day, he's coming back home.
He's going back home to you.
A letter mysteriously arrives at your doorstep. Its pitch black envelope and red wax seal with the unmistakable seal of the vampiric council sends anxiety coursing through your frozen veins.
Is it Hobie? Has something happened to him? Did he fight a council member again? Did you unintentionally and unknowingly break a rule? Or perhaps it's just a newsletter? You could only hope that it's a newsletter.
You open it immediately to calm yourself. Sharp nails ripping the black envelope open. Reading the contents, you sigh in relief at the invitation. An invitation to a soiree, the kind you and Hobie were never invited to because it's well known that you two have been together for centuries. Hell, it's in their records to begin with.
Tamping down your yearning thoughts, you skim the invitation some more. You find that it's a masquerade, ‘to make it interesting in finding your eternal partner,’ it read in its fancy gold lettering. They need to find a better writer to write their invitations, you thought.
You feel like scoffing at the idea of you dressing up and looking pretty just to find a person who may or may not leave you after they feel the urge to change. As you flip the matte paper around, your mind changes with the words ‘goody bags will be given to those who don't find a partner by the end of the day.’ You can't resist a good party favour, especially when it's from the rich vampire council who once gave away mustangs and harleys to the vampires who made it to a hundred. You might hate their guts, but you can't deny how well they can plan a good soiree.
Leaving your cottage, you don your thick coat and take out your trustee umbrella to wade through the sun illuminated town in hopes of buying a somewhat presentable gown to wear. You might've skipped the part in the invitation that says, ‘satisfaction guaranteed!’
Hobie stands on the porch of your shared home with a big giddy smile on his face. He notices all the plants you loved so much have wilted, grass turned into a shade of murky brown, and the porch is littered with dust and grime. He ignores the state of his home in favour of the thought of you being too busy traveling and meeting friends or trying out different hobbies. He could only hope that you're well. That you feed whenever you're hungry, he knows how much you hate hunting, especially without him. He remembers that you always make it a night, basically a date night with him that ends with a dead asshole in an alleyway with four unmistakable pin pricks on the side of their neck.
He should've planned more before he left, made sure that you'd be prepared for anything while he's gone. He'd hate to be gone when a would be vampire hunter attacks your home. His fists clenches around his suitcase, now his fear of you being staked through the heart in his own house takes hold of his entire body. You can handle yourself in a fight, but he's afraid of losing you in such a violent way when he could've been there to save you.
With fear clawing at his chest up to his throat, he unlocks the front door with a creak. Then the door stops, as if something is blocking the way.
“Love?” He calls for you in the dark foyer. The vase you always kept filled with flowers that sits on a desk near the door has completely covered in dust, roses wilted. Flowers no longer blooming in its porcelain form. His iced heart shudders in his chest. “Love, it's me, don't attack, yeah?” Chuckling nervously, he pushes the door fully despite the resistance.
The sound of papers crinkling under the pressure of the door sends him into a tizzy. His eyes narrow downwards at the piles upon piles of envelopes next to his feet. Squeezing inside, he tosses his suitcase haphazardly further into the foyer. It thumps loudly on the wooden floorboards, contents tumbling out and spilling over the floors.
His frantic eyes scan the letters, kneeling down, he finds that the letterbox flaps on the door is practically bursting with the amount of envelopes that were shoved in.
Frowning, he takes one in his trembling fingers, thumbs running along your name that he wrote himself.
“What the fuck?” He asks breathlessly into the void. He finds that every single one of them remains unopened.
Standing upright as quick as lightning, he runs around the house like a headless chicken looking for its head. He checks the living room, none, except for spiderwebs clinging on his guitar perched on the wall. His anxiety eats him from the inside out with every door he flings open. The sounds of his thundering footsteps echo inside the shared home, oil paintings of you and him are threatening to fall from its fixtures as he sprints through every door, looks through every crevice for you. And opens every cabinet and even climbs up to the attic to no avail.
There's no blood nor sign of a fight or forced entry. At least he knows that you haven't been attacked. But his mind lingers on one question, ‘where are you?’
He heaves in the middle of the bedroom where he saw you last. The shared coffin was left revealed and out in the open, he can still smell your perfume lingering in the velvet walls of the coffin, fingers running along the sides as he desperately tries to feel you through the fabric.
You're not here. You haven't been here for a long time.
“Fuck,” he balls up the fabric in his fist. There's no sign of you anywhere, not even a letter for him to read. It's unlike you to not leave a note. You always leave one, even if you're just going to the garden. “Where the fuck are you, love?”
The sound of the deep sounding doorbell startles him in place. With his quick movements, he makes it to the door within a half second. That could be you outside.
Hobie practically rips the door open with both hands as he wretches it away in hopes that it could be you. With a grin, he only sees a bat flapping away, and a dark envelope left at his doorstep.
“Fuckin' council.” Quickly grabbing the letter, he closes the door behind him. He could only hope that the letter is for him, that they're chastising him for what he has done. It can't be a letter of condolence pertaining to you, it can't be.
Your champagne flute filled with blood is starting to coagulate. Crimson staining the sides of the fancy glass as you slosh it absentmindedly. You stand in the corner right next to the fountain of warm blood gushing out of a mermaid's vase. At least you get to drink your fill.
The party is in full swing, the grand hall is filled with single vampires mingling with each other. Their mindless chatter falls on deaf ears as you look up at the crystal chandeliers illuminating the event. Cigar smoke rises up from the bloodied lips of vampires, turning the air more acrid than the scent of sweat and drying blood from the feeding area just below the event hall.
You're starting to think that the goody bag isn't worth it anymore, even if it has the meaning of life tucked inside it.
The sound of tinkling glass and footsteps takes your attention from the foggy ceiling. The stranger smiles at you through his domino mask. Lips smirking as he makes his way towards you with two bloody cups.
“May I join you?” He asks in a low soothing voice. His suit is in velvet blue, golden charms hanging off him like fine gold threads weaved over him. You raise a brow at him, hopefully he can see it rise above your flowery mask. “Someone as pretty as you shouldn't be spending the night alone like this.”
You scoff quietly, refraining from rolling your eyes. “How would you know that I'm pretty under this mask?” He grins wider at your comment. “For all you know, I'm hideous under this.”
Chuckling, the platinum haired man shrugs. “I just know. You give off the aura of someone gorgeous.”
You scoff light-heartedly against the rim of your glass. “I bet you've said those exact words a dozen times tonight.”
He smirks, fang poking out from his lips. “No, just this once.” Plucking your coagulated drink from your hand, he swiftly and gracefully replaces it with a new one. The drink is still warm, fresh from the veins. “I only use my skills wisely lest it be wasted.”
You stare at him with a raised brow, the corner of your lips curl into an unsure smile. “Wasted on who?” Taking a step away from the man who clearly wants his fangs in your neck, you dawdle on drinking from the glass he gave you.
Chuckling, he glances at the vampires milling about the ballroom, their fancy clothes swishing from side to side as they try their best in recreating a moment in the past.
“The…unremarkable vampires.”
“And you think I'm remarkable enough for you…?”
The stranger takes your hand without another word, leaning down to press a cold kiss against your skin. “Just call me Count Tepes.”
You blink at his name, then you feel it, a recognizable warmth flooding your frozen veins akin to a gentle summer's breeze upon your cheek. A comfortable heat pressing against your throat, a familiar presence making its way towards you in haste.
“Who's this, love? You chattin’ up my wife?” Hobie's arm is suddenly around your waist, calloused hand pressing gently atop your bodice, fingers slithering under the ribbons on your hips in a comfortable and welcomed possessive nature. “Didn't know we were lookin' for a third. If we were, I wouldn't choose this bloke.”
As you crane your neck to stare at him, your expression morphs into a combination of pain and relief. “Hobie?”
“Yeah, lovie?” He pulls you closer against him, a pearlescent mask hiding half of his face but you could recognize him by mere touch alone, by his tone, by his warmth. You could lose him in the crowd and you'd know him from the sound of his footsteps. His smirk turns into a frown at your expression, hand squeezing your side once for comfort. “You alright?”
“Is he bothering you?” The count asks with an annoyed tone. Golden eyes narrowed to slits at the punk holding you close.
“I think you're the one bein' a bother ‘ere, mate.” Hobie sneers, tugging away at your glass to chug it in one gulp without leaving his glare at the fellow vampire. He licks at his bloodied lips, fangs bared, blood dripping down from the corner of his smirk.
Tepes raises a sharp brow at you, you, whose mind is running a thousand miles per hour. With a heavy inhale, you give him your best smile. “No need to worry, I'm with him.” Hobie puffs out his chest smugly.
The Count chuckles with a shake of his head in reply. “Not again, just my luck, hm?” Taking a swig, he swallows down the thick blood. “It's either couples looking for a third, a fourth, or even a fifth. Or someone who just went to the party to inspire jealousy in their husband.” Glancing at you, he sighs and nods curtly at you before leaving without another word.
“Really, love, him?” Hobie scoffs with a grin, ringed finger tapping on his— your glass. “You could do better—”
You whirl away from him, not having the heart to fully push him away. “What are you doing here?”
“What are you doin' ‘ere?” Hobie furrows his pierced brows, his identical ring still on his ring finger. The ruby glows under the chandeliers, the same shade as his immortal eyes.
You stare at him with bemused shock, “you left!”
“On a bloody soul searchin’ not leavin' you!”
“What?” You blink rapidly at his words. “You said you couldn't stay anymore—” a cough stops you in your tracks. An older vampire with the biggest beard you've ever seen taps his foot impatiently, thick brow raised in annoyance. “Sorry.” You murmur before leaving towards the closed balcony doors.
“Sorry, Santa.” Hobie waves him away, following right behind you as you struggle to open the double doors. “You have to—” he places the glass down to help you by putting his hands above your own. “— love, you have to push the bloody knob.”
His hands felt like how they used to, as if two years hadn't passed. With a click, the doors swing open. “Damnit, I had it.” You step into the cold air, trembling hands resting on the cool marble balcony.
The doors shut close as Hobie tentatively steps closer to you. “You look fit.” You scoff at him as his shoulders heave in an inhale. “I wouldn't leave you.”
“But you did.” You utter under your breath, you know he heard it above the breeze.
“Can I explain myself? I don't want to fight, love.” 250 years together and you've only fought a handful of times, and the serious ones are lesser than the nonsensical ones. With your apprehensive nod, he crosses the small distance, settling himself right next to you and at the same time giving you enough space. “I didn't break it off.” He takes off his mask, sighing heavily as he twirls his ring around his finger. “I should've explained it better.”
You finally meet with his eyes. The ring in your pocket seems to grow heavier. “You were gone for two years, Hobie.”
“For a good cause, I didn't feel like myself and I wanted to be better, not just for you but for myself.” He leans closer to you, the full moon bathing him in silver, the light caught by his piercings. “250 years together, do you think I'd leave you just like that?”
“You didn't have to be better for me. You're already great to me.” Your affectionate words echo in the breeze as his chest clenches, guilt stomping down on him. “I thought you didn't find me fascinating anymore. That you didn't need or want me anymore.” Your voice is small, almost broken. “250 years together could do that, Hobie.”
“I could never not find you fascinatin’, and I get to wake up next to everythin' I could ever need or want. You're anythin’ but.” With a brave hand, he reaches for your cheek, wiping a bloodied tear you didn't notice you've let out. “I thought you got hurt, or worse.”
He feels a tear run down his cheek. Gently taking your mask off of your face, he could finally see you in all your glory. He gazes into your shining eyes— he may not be able to see himself in the mirror, but he doesn't need to when your eyes are enough to reflect his own blissful face.
You lean further into his hold, palms reaching towards his chest like you used to. “D–did you do it? Did you get to do what you wanted to? Are you happy?”
Hobie nods before placing his forehead against yours to savour your close presence. “I did, all that and more. And I've always been happy with you.”
Smiling, you pat his cheek affectionatly. “Then I'm proud of you.” Leaning away, you wipe away a stray tear from his chiseled cheek. “So it was a misunderstanding? You didn't actually break off our…marriage?”
He smiles softly, knuckles gently running along your jaw. “Why’d you hesitate, hm? And yeah, I should've explained myself better. ‘m sorry.”
You thump your fists on his leather clad chest as he chuckles. “You could've saved me from a lot of fucking tears, Hobie.” You can now admire him fully, his outfit is a contrast to the other party goers with their silks and chiffon, but he makes it look good— he always looks this good.
Taking your wrists, placing it atop his still heart, he tilts his head with an affectionate smile. “You didn't answer my question. And you took off your ring.” He raises a questioning brow, fingers bracelets around your wrist as he moves your empty ring finger around. “Were you honestly tryin' to get with that wanker?”
“No,” you say immediately, “And if I remember correctly, we never technically married. I'm only here because they had nice things in the party favors. And I thought, ‘why not? The worst that could happen is that I get a bloody ipad instead of a mustang like I hoped.’” Your lips wobble as you tamp down a sob, eyes getting blurry. “I couldn't replace you just like that. It would take me a thousand years to get over you, you idiot.”
Hobie laughs wholeheartedly, a sound you dearly missed. He pauses then inhales, eyes warmly staring at you through the haze of affection. “Fuck, I missed you so goddamn much.” With a quick pull, he embraces you firmly with his face hidden on the crook of your neck, lips brushing along your throat. “You're right, ‘m an idiot for not explainin’ better, and for not takin’ you with me. ‘m sorry.”
You wrap your arms around him tighter, nose nuzzling his temple. “Could've just told me you were having a mid-life crisis.”
He laughs against your skin. “I sent you letters everyday, you didn't reply.” Subtly, he dances with you from side to side under the moonlight and the music of crickets chirping. “I went home and you weren't there. If I wasn't already dead, you would've given me a heart attack.”
“I couldn't stay there alone.” You hold him impossibly closer. “You weren't there.”
Hobie imagines you in that big house all alone waiting for him. “Fuck, ‘m sorry.”
“I know, I forgive you. Just bring me next time, okay?” He nods with a grin. You lean away, cradling his face in your careful hold, thumbs rubbing along his cheeks. “I'll read your letters, all of them once we get back home.”
“Why read ‘em when I can tell you?” He grins, temptation pushing him to meet with your waiting lips. “‘sides, ‘m a better storyteller than a writer.”
You chuckle softly as he pecks you once, twice then leaning away only to move back with another gentle kiss. “I've got stories to tell too.” You utter against his soft lips.
“Yeah?” He smiles proudly at you. “Can you tell me all about them while your lips are on mine?”
You beam at him. “I can, I have telepathy for a reason, Hobs.”
“Thank fuck for telepathy.” He says as he kisses you fervently just like he always had in 250 years of being together. “I should've married you, lovie.” His words are uttered in between kisses.
“We have time.” You whisper against his smiling lips whilst he picks your pockets and slips your ring in your finger once again.
As you kiss him, you can see that he's already planning the event in his giddy mind. You tell him the three words you've been aching to say back in his head. And in turn, he takes you further into his arms as dark wispy smoke envelopes you both in an embrace. In a blink, you're back home with him. The house feels warm again.
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