#I on the other hand have a weakness for brash men of probably bad character b-but you guys look at their skin-tight trousers and silly hats

[daguerreotyping]

Stereoview of two hussars and a young woman outside a pub, circa 1860

[amandabe11man]

a VERY LONG post about Hell on Wheels

YEAH i forgot about this post in my drafts... it’s been like a year since i finished the show now and i feel i’ve barfed everything out into this post (that i can think of), so here it goes (you’ll have to shield your eyes after the spoiler warning if you don’t wanna be spoiled btw. i can’t seem to be able to add a read more-link...) :

SO... i finished watching “hell on wheels” at last, pm half a year since i started. it’s funny because i was under the impression that i’d sOMEHOW be able to binge all five seasons within just one month (reason: i wanted to watch it before my free trial on HBO’s website went out). honestly, that wouldn’t have been possible because it was a LOT more emotionally draining than you’d think at first glance... after being gutpunched three times in a row in season 4, any reasonable human would need a little break.

anyway, it feels-- weird. i’ve never been big on following tv-shows so i haven’t been able to relate to that feeling ppl describe once they’ve finished a show they’ve become so attached to, except NOW i can relate. the show’s not groundbreaking, it’s not perfect, but i’ve had a lot of fun. what a ride it’s been...

looking back, i’d say HOW’s biggest weakness is its tendency to forget or ignore certain plot points. i guess that’s not too weird, with such an arsenal of characters, but still, i find that’s what bugged me the most, if anything bugged me at all. for example--

[SPOILERS for those who might wanna watch it after seeing me go on abt it, idk]:

first off, what REALLY grinds my gears is how ezra dutson’s plotline was handled. it was set up perfectly in the beginning; having him escape from the swede (who promised him that, and i quote: “i’ll find you, ezra! i always do”), the original plan was obviously for ezra and the swede to “reunite” some time in the future so that ezra could tell everyone that the swede killed his parents, thus tying up loose ends and giving some closure to that whole arc. some might say this would’ve been too predictable, but i would rather have that predictable storyline than having it just end unceremoniously like it did, with ezra dying ACCIDENTALLY and off-screen by sidney snow’s hand, simply as a way to further bohannon’s pain and set the stage for ruth’s final arc. this might’ve been fine, if the writers had made it so that ezra actually, y’know, TOLD SOMEONE WHY HE’S AN ORPHAN TO BEGIN WITH. but they didn’t even give the viewer that form of closure, instead just deciding to use him as a plot device for the other characters’ increased angst... bohannon and the others were never even made aware of ezra’s last name, and this is all what bugs the everliving SHIT outta me: the only ones who know, or will EVER know, ezra’s full story is the swede and the viewer, tho after season 4′s end, ezra is never mentioned or acknowledged again-- not by bohannon, and not even by the swede. ezra went from convenient character with a PURPOSE to “nameless” orphan forgotten by history. thanks, writers...

then there’s the whole deal with campbell coming to town to reinforce The Law™, which wasn’t a bad arc, mind you-- campbell and his goons were the most infuriating little shits for a while there-- but the thing is; didn’t campbell LIE to his men about the president giving him the position as governor? i might’ve misunderstood it, but i’m PRETTY sure the president didn’t give him THAT much of an upstanding role, but that campbell just went ahead and took that position anyway? if that was indeed the case, then that’s another plot hole, cause nobody finds out about campbell’s possible trickery to become the governor. nobody rats him out, despite literally no one in “his” town liking him all that much, so they’d have no reason to protect his “secret”. (correct me if i’m wrong on this one though. i might be misremembering things)

then there’s the other pretty infuriating issue of bad guys never getting called out for doing bad shit (unless it’s the swede, who gets all the blame, all the time), for example:

major dick bongbendix(???idk he had a silly name like that) is presented VERY MUCH as a bad guy in the beginning. y’know, just casually beheading natives on all his missions and collecting those heads and taking them to the bar like a fucking nutcase-- those little details. he also seemed to believe in racial biology, so yeah, definitely not a good guy. but by the end, he’s been watered down into some quirky guy who’s ALMOST on friendly terms with the main characters. yeah, uh-- seems everyone (writers included) collectively forgot the whole public display of cut-off heads he had going on...

aaron hatch: started off as a guy too proud for his- or his family’s own good when he shot the police officer, BLAMED IT ON HIS FUCKING SON and then just kinda let bohannon hang the kid even though it was pretty obvious hatch was just shifting the blame away from himself. THEN he reappears with some other mormons and causes a full-on shootout in the town (probably getting some people killed, i don’t remember), TAKES EZRA (also a mormon) HOSTAGE SO THAT BOHANNON WILL COME WITH THEM WILLINGLY and passive aggressively forces bohannon to marry his daughter who bohannon knocked up. somewhere along the line, hatch’s bad side is just thrown to the wind, and bohannon at one point describes him as “a good man”. yeah, ABOUT THAT--

sean and mickey mcginnes: unlike the ones mentioned above, these two started out as seemingly decent dudes, but ended up pm as secondary villains in the end. however, like the ones mentioned above, they hardly face any consequences for whatever crap it was they did in boston, OR the fact that they killed and fucking mutilated/dismembered a man in cold blood (a man who WAS gonna kill them, yes, but HE did it because he thought they had killed his friend, which wasn’t a farfetched idea since mickey DID brag about killing the dude even though he didn’t actually do it). sure, they face their OWN demons as time goes on, they get ostracized, and they start losing faith in each other as well, which ends up with mickey killing sean before the latter can confess(?) his/their crimes. so, while sean was spineless and a creep, at least he thought about finally owning up to what he’d done in the end, whereas mickey lives on to keep doing shady shit, killing people, and getting increasingly more corrupt. he does end up pursuing new goals in the end, but it’s obvious he’s not happy about it anymore. that’s-- really all the comeuppance he ever gets, and the only one who knows about his shady businesses are pm just bohannon, durant and eva (also, personal gripe here-- they seemed to not settle for “just” tarring and feathering the swede and publicly humiliating him, but i’m pretty sure i recall mickey telling bohannon they were thinking about having the swede killed too. keep in mind, this was BEFORE the swede truly lost it and started killing people left and right. apparently, being kind of a douche about taxes is bad enough to warrant being tortured and cast out by the entire community... i’m obviously biased here, but still-- the mcginnes bros’ double standards are amazing to behold)

now that i’ve aired some of that out-- here are some highlights, according to me:

unexpected friendships, like that between eva and durant. i’d say the swede finding that stray dog and fawning all over him qualifies into this category too

durant and campbell fighting in the mud before finally coming to an agreement -- just- durant and his competitors being petty as fuck, honestly. it’s hilarious

bohannon trying to get through to elam by reminiscing about their friendship, especially since bohannon isn’t one to show his feelings often OR get sappy -- in fact, EVERY time bohannon loses his stoic facade is a good moment. when he was gonna bury elam and he just broke down completely for the first time since we were introduced to him... that shit had me in tears as well, but man was it a great scene

jimmy two-squaws

every time the swede opens his mouth (yes, even when he’s spouting some lies and bullshit like that)

ruth’s character development. i admit i didn’t like her at all in the beginning, idk something just felt off about her, but man did she ever grow on me. just-- how everyone kinda relied on her eventually, even though she’s only like in her 20′s or something... she still became a pillar of the community. bless ya, ruth :’ı -- also, her essentially adopting ezra was Pure as heck. I Lov it

the fact that this was the 1800′s and the only backlash the (openly) LGBT characters faced for it was pm just “yeah they’re a bit confused maybe but they’re not hurting anyone”. maybe that’s not very realistic but WHO GIVES A SHIT AMIRITE

mr tao just being a sweet old man

chang’s sunglasses, straight out of Django Unchained

mr toole’s complete heel-turn from racist POS to someone who sticks by his word to turn himself around. that shit was impressive coming from him, tbh

bohannon just calmly running into a buffalo by the train tracks

mei posing as a grown man instead of a boy (which is what she looks and sounds like, oml)

another thing i realized is that bohannon is a classic gary stu. there’s just no getting around that fact after seeing him being revered by most everyone he meets, how he’s somehow the only person able to build the railroad(s) fast and efficiently, and even wooing the literal PRESIDENT and becoming close friends with him-- all this despite his Bold and Brash personality. of course, there’s more to bohannon than these gary stu-symptoms, but i felt someone should bring it up, for the lulz

[equalmeasurefiction]

Birthday/Humorous Astrology Headcanons

Silly, dark-side astrology head-canons folks.  Nothing to take seriously here.

Some More Head-canons...

Amon Birthday: October Sign: Scorpio Best Traits: Charismatic and Capable Worst Trait: Control Freak Weakness: Chocolate Comments: Always just far enough away to avoid a restraining order... It hurts to leave lovers unfulfilled, but loves to show how in-control they are... Refuses to give up personal power for a few baubles... Modes: 3- Crime Lord, Corporate Boss, Messiah.  Loves being in-charge, morality may vary... Favorite Kind of Relationship: Long-term, but requires someone with immense reserves of physical and psychological stamina. Amon-Centric: Plays at hot-eyed celibacy as Amon, but sneaks out of the base at night sans-game-face to do shameless things with young, attractive equalists and anyone else he probably shouldn’t be messing around with.  If he refuses to *stoop* to certain levels *cough* Avatar *cough*, fantasy is always guilt-free in the moment with the bonus of an ashamed afterglow. He enjoys all vices as thoroughly as possible.  Alcohol, gambling, smoking, sugar... If it’s addictive and dangerous, he’s done it.  The more likely it is to destroy him/kill him the better, but he has had to scale back as the Revolution takes precedent.  He’s also getting older and all that risk is hard on him, but he tries not to think about that. That said, his self-denial benders are epic and give him just as much of a high as indulgence.  Because control is everything and being in control is better than anything.  Cheating death, shutting down addictions because he can, all the risks he takes are just a way of reminding himself/showing off how in control he really is... His worst enemy, romantically-speaking, is his own self-loathing.  Long-term relationships don’t last, because whenever he gets emotionally invested, he starts thinking about how much he doesn’t deserve them.  His best relationships are the ones where the other party died tragically, so he can mourn them as the love of his life, without ever facing the reality that he would have probably driven them off anyways for being ‘too good for him.’  And he always drives them off.  He will never leave them willingly. Because ‘feelings are weaknesses that one should never give into’ he doesn’t cheat.  He loves being tempted though.  But if he thinks someone is cheating on him (and the relationship has previously been established as exclusive) he will go through all their belongings and stalk them until he has irrefutable evidence... and then he destroys them.

Tarrlok Birthday: January Sign: Capricorn Best Traits: Charming and Gregarious Worst Trait: Vanity Weakness: Money/Power Comments: Hires the private investigator to check the other party’s finances and social standing... Will never pass up an opportunity to get nasty; does not see the point of teasing/denial... Being financially secure is very important... Modes: 2- Respectable / Not Respectable.  While they favor the outward appearance of being an upstanding and enviable member of society, deep down (just beneath the surface) they’re very naughty. Favorite Kind of Relationship: Long-term.  Love is nice, but marrying into a position of power is what this is all about... that or achieving power through their own ends, but marriage to someone established can help. Tarrlok-Centric: Appears respectable, acts respectable, but is secretly down for anything and everything and makes routine visits to the red-light district when he thinks no one is watching (Amon is always watching).  Tarrlok approaches romance and love the same way he approaches everything else... hard work, pragmatism, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to land himself in the best position possible. While love is nice, it doesn’t really factor into the equation.  Tarrlok wants someone safe, secure, suitable, and who will help achieve even more power and glory.  In order to increase his odds, he is engaged in at least one entanglement at any given time.  He is at heart a ‘career man’ who expects everyone, especially his partner(s) to know he is married to his career... that way they don’t suspect after-work visits to the red light district or drunken orgies in the capital building... Really, Tarrlok only engages in three types of relationships.  There are the ones he can be seen with, the ones he would prefer not to be seen with (scandals aren’t his cup of tea), and the ones he can’t be seen with, because he’d lose his job (conflicts of interest can be quite damning for a politician).  He moves from ‘keeper’ to ‘keeper,’ leaving the ‘undesirables’ behind as he continues his climb to the top. But he’s not really a player.  He’d be more than happy to settle down with the right wealthy, well-connected, debutante or international political figure (Ms. Avatar?) for the long haul.  Unfortunately no one seems to appreciate pragmatism or strategic alliances these days.  Once committed to a sound investment, he won’t cheat.  Too much risk for too much work and not enough gains...

Korra Birthday: December Sign: Sagittarius Best Traits: Generous and Affectionate Worst Trait: 0 Tact Weakness: Adrenaline-Addiction Comments: Lacks the patience, stealth, an attention-span, and the ability to pull off long-term planning... Withholds favors because they know it’s much more fun when they let go, even if the other party is becoming irritated... freeloads without guilt or mercy... Modes: 1, but on a sliding scale depending on the time of day- It ranges from sleeping (0%-adrenaline) to inciting an international incident (9,000+% adrenaline).  Always remember, the more action the better.  If their surroundings are not on-fire or in a state of chaos, they are not awake. Favorite Kind of Relationship: One-night stand.  Anything that lasts longer than a year can feel constraining... unless there’s constant travel involved or it’s long-distance or both. Korra-Centric: If Korra is a Sagittarius, the Aries is strong with her.  When she sees someone she wants, she goes after them, does not take no for an answer, and loves them until she’s won/has them.  Then she moves on to hunt the next attractive target who’s playing hard to get and competes for their attention.  Sure, the objects of her affection can *try* to fend her off, but that’s like trying to fend off tsunami--it is coming for you whether you like it or not and if you can’t get out of it’s way, it will have you. That said, she has few standards beyond the fact that they must be attractive and willing to join her in charging recklessly into a dangerous situation.  It’s all fast-cars, fireworks, and make-outs on a fast train that’s jumped the track over the edge of a cliff... while saving the world.  Korra always leaves her partners breathless, and not in a good way.  If they’re not panting from physical exhaustion, then they’re gasping desperately to keep themselves from going into shock from the immense danger she put them into. That said, she is capable of settling down (even explosions get boring after a while) and adores children (having baby-sat the air bender kids pretty regularly, she knows her way around little kids and is surprisingly responsible).  The trick is finding someone who can stand her awful, punnish jokes, irritating attempts at teasing and flirtation (if you can call the litany of awful pickup lines flirting...if and when she uses them, she might not even bother with innuendo or suggestion), or her brash, tactless overconfidence... But if she keeps her mouth shut and looks soulful and cute enough, inevitably some tall, sexy person with dark hair and a fire-nation complexion will wander over apparently...

Bonus- Korrasami: Asami seems like she’d be a mellow air sign or a loving water sign, but she revealed her true nature when she displayed her love of fast cars and her willingness to tie grown men to planes and use them to drop bombs on people.  She likes going fast, getting her hands dirty, and defying authority (she thinks it’s fun)-- all hallmarks of a fire sign.  She’s gasoline on the lit-flame of Korra’s wild-fire. If Asami is a Leo to Korra’s Sagittarius, then the biggest fights they’ll have will involve the lack of beauty accoutrements during their wild hikes around the world or Korra punching the police-officers in the face before Asami can explain who she is.  As long as Korra keeps telling Asami she’s the prettiest girl in the world and Asami compromises on the beauty regime for a little adventure, they’re good. If Asami and Korra share Sagittarius then every date will inevitably involve a drunken dare that lands them in peril/jail/the spirit world/the middle of  a war/handcuffed to a satomobile within spitting distance of an active volcano that’s about to go off... and loving every minute of it.  And if she is a Sagittarius, it means that Asami will secretly share Korra’s secret love of really, really bad jokes and puns... What I’m saying is that Tenzin may want to separate them before they burn down Republic City. Aries Asami + Sagittarius Korra is a tale of two pyro-maniac risk-addicts having the time of their lives in a perpetual war-zone of their own creation.  As long as Korra doesn’t destroy too many of Asami’s precious machines and as long as Asami doesn’t tell Korra what to do they will remain on the same side of the conflict. However, Asami has green eyes, which typically means ‘earth bender.’  Since earth benders are typically born in the springtime, it’s unlikely that she’d be an Aries (the first of the three ‘spring time signs’).  Besides, the Beifongs rule the Aries sign... I don’t think anyone wants to compete with them.

All astrology stuff is based on/paraphrased/pulled from the delightful book Darkside Zodiac in Love.  Would recommend this book and the original, Darkside Zodiac (both are by Stella Hyde) if you’re into astrology, or even if you just like to use it for character creation and development.  All comments are tongue and cheek and should not be taken too seriously.

>For the record, I was going to make Korra a Leo, but apparently she went from 17-18 during that 6 month stretch, making her either a Sagittarius or an Aries. And, if I recall the differences between the two signs correctly, one of the core ones is that Aries doesn’t forget a slight, they just burn out on being angry after a while.  Sagittarius gets really, really angry for a bit, howls about it and then gets distracted and forgets why they hated that person... but that’s dark side for you... Oh!  And she’s mouthy and tactless... another famous Sagittarius trait... says horrible things to people without thinking of their feelings... no filter... even though she does care...

Korra to Tenzin: “I’d be happy to find another air bending master, but you’re the only one.”

Remember that gem?

Also, running away is a classic Sag. move, Aries would have burned the compound down... Aries would just burn everything down... as opposed to Sagittarius who just likes lighting things on fire for fun... ...what I’m saying is that it’s really close on the Darkside...

[nightingale4ever]

My feelings...

Hi, this is nightingale4ever. As is probably obvious by the name on the top of my blog. Okay, moving on... I'm writing this at 01:51-2 in the morning, the day before my school starts again. I'm... sad, I guess you could say? *shrugs* It's just... My mom and dad always tell me to be proud of who I am, to say how I feel, not to allow myself to be pushed around and that I'm beautiful in my own way, because God (Christian one) made me and he doesn't make mistakes. It's just... It doesn't always feel true. 😥 If that's true, why does my mom always tell me to be quieter, to think before I speak, not to sit like that, not to wear that, not to talk like that, to act more ladylike...? If God made me perfectly, then why do I have to pretend to be someone I'm NOT! Why can't I be sarcastic (not in the hurtful way)? Why can't I dress how I want to? What's wrong with being enthusiastic? Talking about my interests? What's wrong with thinking, and writing stories? Why do I have to focus on the bad things happening in the 'real' world? What's wrong with being careful? What's wrong with having crushes on characters? What's wrong with being ME? 😥 Why can't they accept me? Why do I have to change myself, to fit in with narrow minded people's ideals and rules?! Yes, I am a Christian... But what's wrong with being lesbian, or gay? What's wrong with someone else loving someone else, regardless of their gender? My parents keep saying it's wrong, unnatural... That God didn't create people to be like that. If he didn't, then why is it happening? Wouldn't he have created people to 'not be flawed'? To not be 'unnatural'? I don't see what's wrong with being gay or lesbian. Honestly, I don't know what my sexuality is. For awhile, I thought I was asexual, but then I remembered I had crushes on boys a few years ago... I might not be completely comfortable with two men, or two girls, or even just a damn man and woman kissing in front of me, but it's not being I'm homophobic or anything like that! It's just... I'm uncomfortable with public displays like that. It's the general idea that bothers me, not the gender of the people involved! I'm not racist, or homophobic and I try not to be hypocritical! It's just... SO hard for me to be myself around other people. It just feels as if, I just, I keep for some reason SUPPRESSING who I really am. I act quiet, don't talk much, I'm polite, innocent and so forth. But that's not who I really am! I'm snarky, I'm sarcastic, I tend to shout and gesture with my hands when I get carried away. I'm brash, direct and sometimes my mouth to brain filter is completely non operational. I curse. A LOT. I'm a tomboy, but still like to wear dresses and skirts now and then. I like my hair at shoulder length. I'm a closet nerd, but my over protective parents don't let me out much or let me watch anything except family friendly movies. I'm 15 fucking years old! One DAMN year beneath 16 years old! I'm a troll. I know what goddamn sex is even if I haven't gotten 'The Talk' yet. I feel like a 25 year old in a 15 year olds body. I'm selfish, lazy, have a mean temper, and a spiteful strike a mile wide and three miles long. I hold grudges. I'm paranoid. I'm... I don't trust easily and once you've lost my trust you won't EVER completely have it again. I'm an only child, but since I was old enough to know what a brother or sister is I've wanted one. I prayed every single night till I was 12 for a little brother or sister. At 12, I lost a bit of my faith in Jesus, God and the whole Christianity gig. At 15, I still want a little brother or sister, but both my parents are too old to have another child, and they aren't willing to adopt or foster. I don't have any close close friends. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been kissed. I'm lonely. I'm bitter, and way too cynical and cautious for someone my age. I'm good at writing essays and stories. A lady who has never met but has heard of me, once told my mom that I sounded like I could be the next J. K. Rowling, all because of how much I research before writing a story. How I try to understand the characters, their motives, their struggles. I can't write something I can't feel kinship with, or something I don't know reasonably good. Apparently I sound like an angel when I sing. I think I'm... okay at singing. People tell me that I'm an amazing artist, but I can't see what they're talking about. I find it hard to connect with other people. I keep people at an arms length, because I'm scared at the idea of being hurt, of having my heart broken. I get writers block a LOT. When hurt, or accused, I lash out and get defensive. I strike out and say things that I don't mean. I go for the throats and don't let go. I love dogs and cats. I like writing but I don't want to become a writer. I'm an Afrikaanse Boeremeisie (go look it up), and I'm not afraid to stand up for myself. I've gotten into fights. I've stood up to several bullies. I don't back down. I won't be a victim. If you tell me I can't do something, I'll do it just to spite you. I might be a girl, but I'm NOT weak. Boys can bleed just like girls. I don't find the curses; Son of a bitch, whore, slut or anything like that offensive unless it's directed at me or my family and friends. I refuse to be belittled. I will not allow people do be condescending towards me. Don't talk to me as if I'm five fucking years old. Treat me like an adult and I'll act like one. I have lost people. If you tell me everything will be okay, I will punch you. It has been said, 'time heals all wounds'. I don't agree. The wounds remain. But, in time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it's never gone. Don't tell me it'll be alright, when it clearly won't. It never goes away, you just learn to deal with it. I never had older brothers, or sisters who could stand up for me, so I learned to fight my own battles. I only ask for help if i need it. I am lonely. I'm a fighter. That's all I have to say for now. Goodnight.