#I never thought she was actually Armand and I always was sure she existed

[cbrownjc]

Alice is in her third trimester

I've seen a few comments about Daniel possibly cheating on Alice with Armand and I'm kinda like . . . you're assuming that Daniel or Armand -- who regularly, at least in the books, would be in situations where Armand would sit in a chair and watch Daniel have sex with other people -- would themselves view that as cheating. Because I don't think they would've. (At the very least, not younger Daniel.)

It's been talked about, more than once, about how the vampires in this universe are inherently polyamorous. I don't think Armand would care at all about sharing Daniel with another lover. And Daniel, being entangled with Armand (and quite possibly Louis as well) for so long might have himself become not overly concerned with such a thing.

I think Alice is the only one who would have cared that Daniel was sleeping with someone else (if she ever found out), and would have seen it that way. But I, personally, can see Armand and younger Daniel not caring about that view of things in the slightest . . . particularly because they were the ones who were together initially anyway. And that Daniel probably first ever got together with Alice during one of Daniel's running away periods.

Because the main thing that led to their splits sometimes, i.e. Daniel running away, was because Armand's refusal to make Daniel a vampire. Other than that, though? Nothing else in the relationship between them was a problem, particularly for Daniel. And I think that is going to be true wrt the show's version of events. Still being with his vampire lover, even after he may have gotten married? Don't think it is at all outside of possibility -- or that Daniel would have any guilt about it.

And THAT piece of information -- that the only problem he had with the relationship with Armand is that Armand wouldn't turn him -- is going to be the info that Daniel, in the present, likely won't want to face about himself IMO.

Daniel is clearly accepting of the fact that he was a shit father and a terrible husband. But accepting the possible true reason behind all of that?

I said it last year, and I'll say it again -- the revelation about the Devil's Minion that's going to hit Daniel the hardest is very likely going to be the one that reveals he has ZERO moral high ground when it comes to these vampires.

At the moment, Daniel can tell himself that he asked Louis for the Dark Gift because he thought Louis was wasting it. But that excuse is not going to work when it comes to the years and years he asked and wanted Armand to turn him.

That Armand refused to break his vow to never bring another into The Blood -- that is what ended up being what drove them apart. Not any moral conscious Daniel ever had, or grew, about being with Armand at all. Not even whatever transpired regarding Daniel and Alice (and Daniel getting her pregnant likely not just once, but twice, never mind marrying her.)

If Armand had decided to break his vow back then, then IMO, Daniel would have accepted. Alice or no Alice. Kids or no kids. Because while Daniel in the present has nice, even sincerely heartfelt memories about Alice? His past self was clearly emotionally checked out of whatever relationship he had with her by the time of that pregnancy announcement in 1985.

1985. The same year when, in the books, Armand finally did break his vow and turn Daniel, on Halloween. And this is what Daniel had to say about it when Armand finally decided to turn him:

"But don't you see," Daniel said, "all human decisions are made like this. Do you think the mother knows what will happen to the child in her womb? Dear God, we are lost, I tell you. What does it matter if you give it to me and it's wrong! There is no wrong! There is only desperation, and I would have it! I want to live forever with you."

As long as Daniel held any knowledge of not only vampires but of Armand specifically, this is what he would think, what he would always want. And that, IMO, is why he was emotionally checked out when Alice announced that pregnancy. Because, at that point in time, he still held the knowledge, of not just vampires, but Armand himself.

And they were still very much entangled with each other at that time IMO. Still lovers.

My theory is that it isn't Daniel kicking his drug habit that had him "getting his shit together." Well, okay, he did kick a drug habit, but the drug in question was actually Armand's blood. Not to mention Armand himself.

And I think that event happened sometime around when Alice was in her third trimester. (Hence, the name of that track listing).

. . . .

I'm also beginning to wonder if Armand actually was the one who repressed/blocked Daniel's memories of him, or if it was someone else. No, I don't think Louis was the one who did it, (or Lestat either btw), and Armand doing it does make the most sense, given he clearly is not harboring any happy thoughts about Alice, and Daniel splitting from him for her. But a day or so before the new clip came out, @faerywhimsy made a comment to me about who could have also done it, given a comment I made elsewhere about the timeline length Daniel and Armand were apart, and what book-event that matches up with and well . . . .

That person being the one who took Daniel's memories not only tracks wrt the timeline Armand and Daniel spend apart, but it would also track when it comes to the relationship Armand has with that person too. That's all I'm saying . . .

. . . .

Anyway, yeah. I think it was around Alice's third trimester when Armand and Daniel actually split for good. Which, depending on when she got pregnant could conceivably be around towards the end of 1985. Though, more possibly, go over into 1986. But I think that is why there is actually a track named that when it comes to the score for Season 2. Because that time period became a significant one. The time when Daniel actually "got his shit together."

And maybe why, in the present, he can have such love and loving thoughts about Alice. Because the reasons for his being emotionally checked out were no longer at the forefront of his mind for so long anymore (even if he still ended up being a shitty husband and father still -- with Alice as his ex and his kids not speaking to him -- without them).

[nightcolorz]

Armand could definitely 100% have prevented Claudia and Madeline’s death like obviously he is so full of shit 😭😭 he just chose not to. I dont think he was lying about being held captive, though. It seems more likely to me that he allowed himself to be imprisoned bcus the ultimate outcome would be desirable, rather then like, he was secretly orchestrating it all like a devious Master mind and was only pretending to be a prisoner to trick Louis. I think Armand was genuinely being imprisoned, but he could have easily escaped (as if the vampire Armand couldn’t win in a fight against Sam The Twink), and chose not to because it’s in his best interest for Claudia and Madeline to die 😭. While part of his betrayal I think comes from a comfort Armand takes in learned helplessness, where taking action feels less safe then leaning into victimhood, so armand chooses to accept helplessness rather then play the hero bcus helplessness is comforting, it was also definitely part “I want these two people to be gone from my life and this seems like a sure fire way to let it happen while I get to remain mostly blameless” 😭. Armand finds Claudia’s whole existence horrific and cruel. I don’t think he particularly likes or dislikes her as a person, he doesn’t seem to know her very well nor care to know her (he actually says this in tva lol), so I don’t think he considered letting her a die an act of spite.

Armand thought of Claudia as a suffering, rabid, sick and diseased animal that needed to be put down for its own well being. He considered her death an inevitable tragedy that “could not be prevented”, and bcus of his perspective on vampirism as a horrible curse that can only be spared through very specific very calculated and clean cut means, he wanted her death to come as quick and painlessly as possible. From Armand’s perspective, if he saved Claudia from death by execution, he’d only end up watching her excruciatingly loose her mind and self until she eventually killed herself or got put down by Armand or someone else Nicki style so that she wouldnt need to live in agony anymore.

Which, his whole perspective there is flawed, and fucked up, and dehumanizing of Claudia, but it makes sense why he would think that way. Armand considers vampirism to be always bad, regardless of the subject turned, and always smth he would hate to inflict on someone. So claudias turning, is not only cruel to Armand, but unforgivable and unsalvageable. He’s seen a lot of fucked up vampires in his time, a lot of botched turnings, and he knows from his experience how much of a toll vampirism takes on anyone, let alone someone in the body of a child. His whole “I will never turn someone into a vampire ever in my life” thing comes from this. So, of course he won’t save claudia from such a clean cut, blameless death 😭. He considers it an act of mercy, when he pictures the alternative as “Claudia clings to Madeline as she painfully looses her mind and eventually dies”. Which, comes into why he didn’t save Madeline either lol

Armand doesn’t particularly value life as smth to be worth preserving, he is very willing to view other ppl as commodities when it helps him. But he does value preserving peace and limiting other’s suffering (which is why he kills so gently). Armand is so horrified by Madeline being turned, partly bcus I think he saw himself in her. He sees a fledgling who he believes will inevitably loose her maker, the only person she rlly cares about, to horrible gruesome death, and he knows that once she experiences that her life as an immortal will be cruel and unbearable. So once she is turned, Armand sees another lost cause who will be better off if she is killed before it can get bad. What Armand misses when it comes to Claudia and Madeline, obviously, is that they r more resilient and self sufficient then he sees, and taking away their agency by deciding they have no hope and must die isn’t the mercy he sees it as but is actually like, fucked up and horrible. Armand is so blinded by his trauma fueled dog eat dog view of life as a vampire that he can’t see that.

I think the reason armand considers the perks of Claudia and Madeline’s death a priority over Louis’s happiness (and horrible grief that will ensue when his loved ones die), is bcus Armand considers Claudia and Madeline’s death an inevitable consequence of Louis’s unforgivably cruel actions. He doesn’t resent Louis for it I don’t think, but he definitely thinks that Louis will need to atone for what he’s done whether Armand wants him to or not. So, Armand is ok with Louis grieving (as long as it doesn’t turn to resentment of Armand), bcus it was ultimately inevitable, and comparatively less cruel then what he would have to witness alternatively. It’s a rip the Band aid off type of thing 😭😭

in conclusion uh Armand is bad but Armand has his reasons and Armand isn’t one dimensionally villainous, he has a ton of complex trauma induced reasons for the way he thinks, and his actions r more often then not coming from a warped view of “the kind thing to do” that comes from his lack of understanding of how kind the world actually is and can be (dog eat dog mindest etc), bcus of how horribly traumatized he is. thank u good night

[hekateinhell]

you probably got this question before, but how do you think daniel would react to TVA?

I don't think I have actually, but I sure do talk about it a lot!

I think the implication in QotD when Daniel (half dead and barely lucid) is tearing through TVL for any mention of Armand is that all this is brand new information to him. Armand doesn't exactly have the compulsion to share, so it's possible all Daniel knew up until then was what Louis had told him and whatever little superficial tidbits here and there Armand had slipped him over the course of twelve years.

Since TVA is set two years before B&G and there's probably more distance between the time Anne actually wrote the two, I don't know that she thought ahead enough about Daniel to consider his mental state during the TVA period as Armand is narrating. Anne was not Daniel's biggest fan (when she remembered he existed at all). So the way I think of it is that Armand wouldn't have known Daniel had delved into insanity at this point.

My personal headcanon based off of that is that Armand decided to share his story for the same reason Lestat did--to reach out to the fledgling who'd left him. Only Armand is less of "now this is what really happened, also I'm sorry," and more of "this is why it happened, here is everything you wanted to know," with an extra dose of bitterness sprinkled in since the wound is a only few years fresh vs several decades. Of course, this is purely fanon (see my point about Anne re: Daniel 🥲).

So I always think Daniel got to read TVA after his recovery, about 10 or so years after it would've been published. I imagine he felt lots of things! Delighted to finally learn more about Armand in his own words, devastated at the details of his life's story, frustrated that Armand never actually shared any of this with him during their time together, bitter over the way Armand describes their relationship. In Devil's Minion (as we presume Daniel is dictating to Lestat or vice versa) we don't get the sense that Armand is coming to their relationship from a place of anger and hatred at the world, as he says he was in TVA. Recklessness? Absolutely. Desperation? Probably, yes. But Armand being angry and hateful is not the read we generally get from QotD.

Ultimately, I like to think reading TVA was at least partially what motivated Daniel to give his relationship with Armand another go; it explained why Armand is the way that he is and his capacity and desire for love and forgiveness (see Marius, Santino, Lestat). If nothing else, it gave them something to talk about when they were first reconciling.

[silvia7272]

ML Salt ~ The Cardigan Story

This is based on a true story.

Honestly, I always remembered this story because it constantly made my Sister and Mum laugh when I told them I outed a liar at school by wearing a cardigan, they were so proud of me because what I did wasn’t mean and I wasn’t even doing it out maliciousness so I thought, hey why not put it in the ML universe?

This isn’t canon to my main series so no Rosina since there isn’t any need for her, sorry sweetie.

And since I doubt Mlle Bustier would never out Lila, I’m changing the teacher to someone who actually has a backbone.

Word Count: 2303

Tags: @queenmj10, @fangirl39, @animegirlweeb, @northernbluetongue, @maribat-is-lifeblood, @raisuke06, @indecisive-mess-named-me, @luleck, @themotherofhogwarts, @more-or-less-human-i-guess, if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged.

I know you may not wish to be tagged for one-shots, but I thought you might enjoy some salt I was able to come up with.

Also, I wrote this in one day so I’m extremely proud of myself.

***

If you told Marinette that Lila’s reign over the school would end over a cardigan, she would tell you you’re as crazy as she was about Adrien.

A lot.

But, she did just that.

She had to thank Adrien really, the ‘advice’ he gave her was what really pushed her.

She wouldn’t outright expose her, no, she had tried that before and look where that got her, near expulsion that’s what. And not one of her friends tried to stick up for her. She always remembered that glare Alix gave her, and since then she had been ignored, turned away by them.

Even after Lila came out with ‘the truth’ she was still seen as an overly jealous girl.

“Lila’s promised she hasn’t lied about anything else she’s said to us, it only acts up around people she doesn’t know as well, maybe next time, instead of being jealous you should give her a chance and stop being a baby. Girl this all could’ve easily been avoided if you weren’t so Adrien crazy”

Really? They actually believed that load of crap?

Whatever, Marinette was done, done with everyone.

If they wanted to show her how wrong she was then she’d let them wait until hell would frost over, because fat chance that would ever happen.

If Marinette was proud of one thing about her then it would have to be her stubbornness to get to the truth.

And she could be extremely patient.

***

It was just an average day at Collège Françoise Dupont. There weren’t any Akuma’s caused by anyone the previous day so Marinette was finally able to have a good night’s rest, something the exhausted teenager really missed.

She felt so re-energised she danced in the kitchen as she made breakfast without a care in the world.

.

Before she fell over that was.

“…Owww”

“Careful dear, you wouldn’t want to be hurt before school hours, now just sit tight and I’ll get you something to eat,” Her Maman said. Marinette felt grateful. After breakfast, she gave her Parents a kiss before leaving.

She had loving parents that supported her every beck and call.

…Well most of the time, but that didn’t matter, she would never let Lila manipulate them ever, her Parents were off-limits.

By the time she arrived at school she was one of the first ones there, Nathaniel in the back drawing his comics, texting Marc as well, it seemed like he was in his own ‘do not disturb’ bubble. Max was talking to Markov about some new type of game, and Rose and Juleka were just cuddling.

She made her way to the back feeling a positive emotion before exhaling.

Because it was about to be ruined.

Lila walked in with Alya, Nino and Adrien by her side.

She was telling a story about her ‘one of a kind cardigan-

Wait-

“My Grandmother made this cardigan especially for me carving her signature on as well, it’s the only one in existence because shortly after she made this, she ended up being in a terrible accident that left her bedridden.” They pandered to her of course. But for once she wasn’t focusing on the lie but the cardigan.

Oh, Lila’s only gone and done it now.

“I’ve always wanted to wear it, but I didn’t want it to end up ruined by someone” Her gaze casually went up to a lone bluenette, but she really wasn’t bothered.

“Don’t worry girl, I’ll keep a watchful eye on your cardigan for you. Ain't nothing gonna come between me and my besties property” They hugged before sitting down in their spaces.

‘Oh my god, I have a plan’ Marinette had that thought circled around her head until break. It was all she thought of.

Mind you, she wasn’t trying to expose everything she’d done, just that one lie. And that would be enough.

As soon as the bell rang, she was ready, she gathered her stuff and rushed home.

And thank god as well, Lila would not shut up about that cardigan, through Literature, Science and PE, it was constantly my Grandmother made it for me this, it’s the only one of its kind that.

Ugh, she wanted to rip her ears out at some point but had to endure it. No one else was bothered since they all believed her, even the teachers!

Yeah, you don’t really need any proof if it was handmade, some of Marinette’s earlier stuff didn’t have her signature on, but still, it was the principle of the matter!

And she could right that wrong.

In her room she was frantically searching for that item as Tikki dodged different articles of clothing, one hit her as she wasn’t looking, and she was down for the count.

“Marinette what are you looking for?” Marinette paused to look back at Tikki before continuing a bit calmer.

“Lila’s been lying about that cardigan and this time I can prove it.” Her eyes lit up as she lifted a cardigan up from her cupboard.

“One of Maman’s friends gave this to me a few years back, it was one of the reasons I got into fashion because of how soft it is and I wanted to replicate that. Don’t you think it looks familiar?” As Tikki looked over it her eyes widened, she knew Lila was lying anyway but she had no idea Marinette had definitive proof of it.

“That’s the same cardigan Lila has!” Marinette nodded before wearing it.

At least it still fit.

“But Marinette I thought we were gonna take the high ground?”

“Tikki it's tiring having to listen to them being lied too. I may not want them to be my friends anymore, but I just want the lying to stop. If I go and tell them that she’s lying with this as evidence they’ll clearly see she’s lying”

“But outing her like that won’t make it better!” Marinette wished she could respond with ‘are you sure’ but didn’t want to piss the mini-god off.

“Fine, what if I just wear it until someone notices, that way I’m not actively looking to publicly shame her? Better?” Tikki gave a reluctant nod, she knew her chosen wouldn’t let up about the situation, besides this whole thing was really just pettiness, nothing too serious. If no one noticed nothing bad would happen.

“Bye Maman, bye Papa” As she began walking back, she grew a bit nervous with her plan.

What if Lila made a whole other lie about her cardigan? What if she lied that Marinette had stolen it out of jealousy and everyone would try to take hers? She’d have to run away and live with a secret identity, all before getting caught and going to prison, and she’d never have her three kids and her hamster named-

“Ahem Marinette, is thou there?” A hand brought her out of her trance

“Ahhh!” She waved her arms before composing herself and seeing D’Argencourt in front of her.

“Ah, yes Monsieur?” How long had he been standing there? How long had she been rambling in her head?

“As I was saying, these new garments of yours, where did they originate from?” It took her a while before realising he was talking about her cardigan, she was so used to wearing her jacket it felt strange she had changed.

“Ohh this, well it was a present from Maman’s friend. They were on sale a few years back, so I thought I’d wear it again” He furrowed his brow before telling her to carry on with whatever she was doing.

“Well, that was weird. Do you think he liked the jacket?” Tikki ponded as her head ever so slightly popped out the small handbag.

“He’s always been weird Tikki. But whatever, let's just get back to the classroom.” All she had to do was wait.

***

‘How the hell hasn’t anyone noticed yet?’ Marinette was secretly fuming in her mind right now. None of her classmates noticed the change in her outfit.

Not one.

Bustier did however, the bluenette was sure because she’d see her teacher quickly glance from Marinette to Lila but never said a word. Probably thinking of that whole, ‘be the bigger person’ crap.

And not even the excuse of maybe Bustier didn’t know, bs. By the time break happened everyone in the school knew about that damn cardigan so don’t get her started.

‘Oh well, looks like that’s it. My petty revenge came flat… At least Lila didn’t pull a Marinette ruined my belongings stunt’ That would’ve been the last thing she needed.

Knock Knock Knock

The door opened before Bustier could reply, a teacher would reprimand a student for this type of rudeness, but it wasn’t a student.

It was a teacher.

And it was Monsieur D’Argencourt.

‘What the-’ Marinette didn’t remember this part of the plan.

“Excuse me Caline, but I need to interrupt the class for an announcement.” Bustier was about to deny but D’Argencourt the stubborn teacher as he was, walked straight on through ignoring whatever Bustier would’ve said.

“Lila Rossi, may you please step in front of the classroom?” Lila looking completely confused let go off Adrien, much to the relief of the boy, and walked in front of her desk.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng?” He didn’t need to repeat the command.

Yes, command not a request.

“Can I ask you where you got your cardigans from?”

“Armand, I don’t think this is appropriate-” He shot a glare back at the teacher.

“I can assure you this won’t take long if I’m not interrupted”

Lila looked over to Marinette and realised with a sinking feeling what was happening. But she would win this time. Just like all the others.

“My Grandmother made this specifically, you see-”

He held a hand up to silence her.

“Yes, that’s quite alright, and Marinette would you like to repeat what you said before?” As Marinette did just that Lila was seething, he cut her off. How dare that simpleton cut off Lila Rossi!

He would pay.

“Well, it appears one of you is lying, and I expect that person to own up to it now” The class gasped as they all looked expectedly at Marinette, they knew she was petty but to do this was so low.

Lila looked at her smugly, she had tried to play with fire but got burned in the process. How could she even think she’d get away with this?

“I was talking about you, Lila Rossi”

“Eh, what?” The class gasped as they tried to say of course Lila was innocent, Marinette was the one lying. Or that Marinette must’ve tricked him.

He shot a glare towards all the class members as they instantly shut up.

“I don’t remember this being a class discussion, if I want your opinion, I will ask for it. Understood?” They nodded before giving sympathetic glances towards the brunette, D’Argencourt almost had the urge to shout at their incompetence but alas they were kids.

“I can tell you why you are lying Lila, with a photo. But as I’m feeling generous, I will give you one more chance to reveal yourself.” The class was silent as they all looked on in anticipation.

But Lila stood her ground defiantly, as if he actually had proof-

Oh…

Oh no she’s doomed…

“Then I don’t suppose this looks familiar? Hmm?” On his phone was a picture. Lila immediately lowered her head, too ashamed to look him in the eye.

3 guesses of what it is?

No.

.

.

No one?

.

.

Too easy?

.

.

Ok, it was the cardigan.

And at a fairly cheap price. No wonder she had it in brand new condition.

“I first knew you were lying once I saw Marinette wear the exact same one, however, hers was clearly worn out, evidently she has worn it for several amount of years. You had already messed up when you said it was the only one made. So please…” Lila looked up to see D’Argencourt giving one of the most frightening glares of the century.

“Don’t ever lie about anything to my face or anyone ever again, you will be court out and I will be keeping an eye on you. Is that final?” She meekly nodded her head, trying to give a frightened appearance to make him have sympathy but he was immune.

“That will be all. I hope your class has learned a valuable lesson of not taking things at face value” And with that, he left. Leaving Marinette with a different impression of her PE teacher, it seemed he didn’t like liars all that much.

Marinette smiled, her plan worked, and she didn’t even out her herself. Tikki surely can’t be mad at her now.

Bustier tried to get the class to go back to normal but she couldn’t. The class erupted into a screaming fit, asking how Lila could lie about that sort of thing?

It wasn’t until someone unexpected said the next few words she wondered if this was a dream.

“Hey if Lila lied about this what else did she lie about? She even said herself she doesn’t lie to her friends but that was a lie” That made the class tick as they soon realised and soon torn into her about it.

Leaving Lila, a ‘sobbing mess’ on the floor. All before she stopped that fake display and arguing back.

But the one who said that…

Was Adrien.

He was able to slip by the crowd and stand next to Marinette.

No words were said, she knew what he would’ve said even without the noise.

‘I’m sorry’

It was a start, and maybe through time, she could start trusting again.

But for now, she just wanted to enjoy this chaos…

.

.

Before there was an Akuma alert.

***

I want more D’Argencourt I want more D’Argencourt I want more D’Argencourt. I probably screwed his speech but oh well this is salt, doesn’t have to be accurate.

Phew, hope you enjoyed it, sorry its shorter than the others but this happened when I was in Year 5 and I was 9/10 years old. Woo 10 years ago, god that makes me feel old. Also, not everything was exactly this way, the teacher did out the person in front of the whole class, but she admitted it and went back to her class, we had two classes for maths. Anyway, I actually have to give Lila credit compared to the liar we had at our school, this person actually knew I had that cardigan and actually complimented me on it like months earlier and still had the audacity to say that. I think that’s the reason why I think if I was in their world I wouldn’t believe Lila because I already had a Lila at my school who would always say they’ve done the exact same thing as we had (They even said they had the same Aunt as me living on the same street, crazy right). Mind you they never said anything to me, I think they were too embarrassed plus, I was a goody little two-shoes there.

Anyway I really hope you enjoy it and if you like real-life stories so much I can always try to ask my friends for more ideas, I did have like some slightly toxic friends there that I may be able to tell you about but I’ll try to think how later.

Cya next time.

[thegirlisuedtobe]

sorry for beat a dead horse but with the new production premiering you think of writing your thoughts about mata hari again? I know you perspective changed since the last review

(mata hari anon) i meant your thoughts on the production as a whole! i saw your posts about it being orietalist and how you injected it with meaning etc its very different from your first review/impression so i am curious how you "got there"

I realised I should have just replied to the original one since you had to send another ask either way 🤪🤪

But yeah sure, this is going to a little all over the place bc,,, where do I even begin,,,, first of all if u havent read my 2020 essay on the 2016 production please do, I think that will give a lot of context for what problems I have with it structurally. And second, I just want to clarify that when I wrote that essay I didn't have the words/vocabulary to describe the orientalist aspect of the show so I didnt really touch on it a lot but I had always felt off, speaking as a south east asian person.

I think I'll start with my change of heart. When the new production was announced I ended up examining Mata Hari again and the last time I thought about it in detail was like 2 years ago so when I looked at it a lot of things that I could have given a side eye and kept it pushing I can't really ignore all that much anymore? Like I think because the characters were being portrayed by other Asians I deluded myself into thinking that the racial aspects of this story didn't exist because it was an all asian cast. But when you remove the actors from it and look at it from a story stand point its really just a race faking dutch woman who stole culturally sensitive and important dress/dances/ traditions to make her living off of. And its really important that those appropriated dances were sexualised by her and by the context she performed them in, isnt she the person whos attributed with coming up with the first strip tease lmao??? I'm not Indonesian so I can't say if the specific dances she took were indeed sexual but even in the show when she's explaining her backstory to Armand she says that in the height of her misfortunre she saw these women in prayer and was enlightened but what she brought back was a strip tease so???

I think specially for me personally, I'm taking a class on decolonising literature and a lot of what we're talking about in class has kind of helped me understand and reflect on the racial aspect that this show is using as a backdrop. Indonesia the colony and Netherlands (the dutch) the coloniser. When you think about a coloniser white woman stealing/appropriating indonesian dance/tradition is that not disgusting? Don't you feel the orientalism and racism dripping and oozing from the story??

Like the show was written by frank wildhorn and ivan menchell, two white men. They wrote a truly racist and orientalist show! Like what can I say?? And tbh I'm not totally sure how to address the Korean producers part in this but Korea has and still does struggle with cultural appropriation (think african american and native american cultures) so I don't think that they're in the clear either even if a lot of it is that they don't know better (which isn't really an excuse either way).

And also the way that they do use it just as a backdrop to the "love story" pisses me the fuck off LMAO Like Mata Hari being a race faking appropriator can be okay in narrative if the narrative itself refutes that and frames it so that it isnt okay to do that. But never in the show does it actually say that. Which I guess leads to my infusing the story with more meaning than it actually has. I essentially made a story about mata hari and picked and chose the parts i liked to make a show that did have that message, that refuted the figure that is mata hari in her orientalist glory, and threw away what wasn't. I interacted with it in an almost parallel world where the show was actually good, hence the title of my essay. I was engaging with the potential of the story not what the story already was. And now that I engage with it again as the story it is, I've found that in all honesty it's not a story that's worth telling.

But I feel like I've already dedicated so much time I might as well see what the new production is going to show even if begrudgingly doing so. They have another chance I guess to rectify those issues but if I find out they don't then LMAO I'll just drop it. I don't have the time or patience anymore for stories like these.

[cdt12345]

We've been friends many years but I've never thought to ask; Top 10 gay OTPs?

1.) Ian & Mickey (Gallavich) - Shameless us

What can I say about these two that we haven’t already said about them?! They are my absolute all-time favorite couple ever! Gay or straight. They perfectly complement each other, they love each other on a level I feel like I’ve never seen before (and I have watched a lot of tv/movies), they’re like a comedy duo, they support each other, understand each other better than anyone else ever will, they fell in love as kids, they bring out the best in each other, and they’re each other's best friend. I’m a sucker for opposites attract, who are also best friends. Gallavich really fits that bill. I wish they didn’t have to struggle so much to get their happiness, but I’m happy they finally got it. When they got married, it felt like the biggest victory ever! We went through those years of struggle with them, rooted for them, mourned for them when John Wells let Noel go after season 5. So much has tried to keep these two apart, even real-life circumstances tried to keep them apart. The chemistry between these two characters and between Cameron and Noel was so powerful, they were brought back to the show. That kind of thing doesn’t happen very often. When an actor leaves a show, they don’t usually come back as a series regular, let alone two actors who have already left the show. It felt like a miracle! I will never forget getting the news that Noel was coming back from you @luckyshazmrsmonaghansblog I was crying with happiness bc we wanted this for so long and I never believed we would get to see both Cameron and Noel back on the show. Or that they would get their happy ending outside of a jail cell. Especially after Cameron left the show in season 9. With their return we got a wedding, an entire season of them as a married couple, we got to see them dance with each other twice, we got them singing together, we got to see them start a lucrative business together, we got to see them free and happier than we’ve ever seen them before, and we got to see Terry get what he deserved after putting them through hell. We are only halfway through season 11, but I already feel so fulfilled with this extra time with gallavich that we were never supposed to have. JW tried to take that away from us. I will never understand why, but he failed. I am not surprised this is the one I wrote the most about. I can go on and on about gallavich!

2.) David and Patrick - Schitt’s Creek

This was everything I ever wanted to see onscreen, where there was zero homophobia. The pansexual character didn’t need to have a big coming out or tell everyone in the town of his sexual orientation, except his best friend. The gay character had a coming out with parents who loved and accepted him for who he is and was only upset that he felt he couldn’t tell them sooner. I dreamt of a day where I could see this kind of representation onscreen. The casual treatment of their sexuality was so refreshing and something I’ve been waiting for. There is no darkness or huge struggle they had to overcome to be together or a sad ending for them. They were allowed to be together without the major conflicts most LGBTQ characters have to go through. Once David made the first move Patrick was comfortable allowing himself to fall for David and start a relationship with him. He was so sure of his feelings for David after that first kiss, he never looked back and I loved that. They had such an adorable love story. Truly one I have been waiting to see for so long between two LGBTQ characters. They made me smile every time they were on screen. They are another of my OTPs that are exact opposites who complement each other perfectly. Patrick was welcomed into David’s family and blended in with them so well, even when he and David had very different upbringings. Patrick serenading David with Tina Turner and then Mariah Carey at their wedding is one of the most romantic things I have ever seen!

3.) Holt and Kevin - Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain Holt and Kevin are strange men on their own but together they are the perfect pair. They get each other in a way no one else does. The best part is their adorable fur baby, Cheddar! They seriously make the cutest family! I was so nervous when they went through a rough patch for a while because I didn’t want them to split up. Thankfully, they made it through and are still going strong!

4.) Will and Vince - Will & Grace

On the show's first run, Will and Vince were in a serious relationship and Vince was Will’s longest relationship on the show. They broke up a few times but were together by the series finale. The two reunite during the funeral of Will's father. There was a time jump on the series finale. Though I didn’t love everything about the last episode, I did love the fact that Will and Vince had been together for 20 years and raised a son together, who was conceived through in vitro fertilization with a surrogate. After the time jump, nearly twenty years later, their son goes to college and meets Grace's daughter, whom he would eventually marry. Though I wasn’t happy with the fact that Will and Grace didn’t stay close over the years, it did allow for their kids to one day meet, fall in love, and get married. I did like that outcome out of the finale. My family and I used to watch the original show, but we refused to accept or watch the 2017 revival because they completely changed everything from the original series finale. The second I found out they were changing everything; I knew I couldn’t watch it. They even wiped the existence of their kids from the first series finale. The revival was an attempt to cash in on the reboot craze and I wasn’t happy about that already, but even more so when they were going to break up one of my OTPs for easy money. Bobby Cannavale, who played Vince, has become even more famous since starring in Will & Grace. So, I already figured he wouldn’t be back for the show as a regular, but I know he did guest star. I won’t accept the revival and to me, Will and Vince stayed together, and their son married Grace’s daughter. THE END!

5.) Albert and Armand - The Birdcage

Miss Albert and Armand were the earliest gay couple I remember ever watching onscreen when I was eight years old. I have watched this movie more than I can count over the years. It is a family favorite that we quote often. Their son is planning to marry a girl whose father is in politics and is very conservative. They have to hide the fact that he has two gay fathers for one night, but everything goes awry, and comedy ensues. Nathan Lane and Robin Williams give a wonderful performance without resorting to using the stereotypes that are often used on gay characters, especially back then. It’s a classic!

6.) Stefon and Seth - Saturday Night Live

Okay, hear me out on this one! They’re not the most conventional OTPs on my list, but I really do love them so much! Stefon started doing a correspondent segment on Weekend Update on SNL. The first time Stefon came on, he flirted with Seth Meyers. The second he did I was like ooh they would make a cute couple! Stefon the wild party guy and Seth the serious news anchor. It was a match made in heaven for me. Before Seth Meyers left SNL to do Late Night with Seth Meyers, Bill Hader came back to play Stefon for Seth’s last episode. I didn’t expect what happened next to happen at all! They gave Seth and Stefon the ending that I haven’t even gotten from some actual scripted shows. I never expected Stefon and Seth to have this big ending, but I could not be happier that they did. I’m posting the link to the six-minute skit/ending and I hope it works. It’s worth watching. Though the video says it’s Stefon’s farewell it was really Seth’s farewell episode.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rj-wYWMdWNk

7.) Mr. Simmons and Peter - Hey Arnold!

Anyone who grew up watching this show already knew that Mr. Simmons, Arnold’s teacher, was probably gay. It was hinted at in the Thanksgiving episode. Arnold and Helga visit Mr. Simmons on Thanksgiving at his house and his family and “friend” Peter are there. Mr. Simmons mother says she didn’t know Peter was coming to dinner and Peter responds with the infamous line “There’s a lot of things you don’t know.” When Mr. Simmons mom tries to get him to take a woman friend to the ballet, he says he loves the ballet and Peter gives him a disapproving look and Mr. Simmons immediately declines. Those were enough hints for us fans to decide Peter was his boyfriend. Years later, the show's creator Craig Bartlett finally confirmed Mr. Simmons is gay and had them together in the 2017 Hey Arnold: The Jungle Movie. It was so exciting to finally get the confirmation years later, even though I was already certain of it for many years. I was happy that the cartoon no longer had to settle with vague hints about it.

8.) Callie and Arizona - Grey’s Anatomy

I was very happy to see a lesbian couple on prime time tv and I really liked both characters. I was excited to root for them but sadly as most couples on this show, their relationship took a turn, and I wasn’t thrilled about it. I was disappointed that it came to an end. By then I was already getting tired of watching the show. It was starting to feel like a chore to watch it every week. I tried to stick it out because I don’t like to give up on shows in the middle of it, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m glad I did though because the shocking events with Derek Shepard, is something I’m glad I wasn’t around for. Anyway, I heard things between Callie and Arizona got even worse, so I was even happier I left when I did.

9.) Sherwin and Jonathan - In a Heartbeat

This was one of the cutest things I have ever seen! I wish this got the full-length movie treatment instead of a short film. But it was still a step in the right direction for the LGBTQ community. Gay characters in cartoons always bring me such joy and that was the focus of this short. A boy with a crush on another boy with a cute ending. What is not to love?!

10.) Mitch and Cam - Modern Family

Another show I had to give up on in the middle of the series. The show began to be less funny and more annoying to me. Another reason, that really has nothing to do with the show itself, that used to annoy me was that this show repeatedly beat out Parks and Recreation during award season. Parks and Recreation is a superior show when compared to Modern Family. This show won almost every year for years and it got really annoying especially when the quality of the show started slipping and they kept winning. After a few years, they finally stopped winning all the time. But before all that, I was a fan of Cam and Mitch. They were a great couple who I loved watching on the show. They were the best part of the show most of the time. But sadly, my annoyance of the show no longer being as funny as it used to be, was enough for me to stop watching.

[kingdomofbretonxrpg]

Parties: Our Villain and Kit Chareonsuk

Date: September 30th

Location: Starts on streets of Vannes

Triggers: violence, abuse, kidnapping, threats and generally nasty behaviour

@kit-chareonsuk

ooc// Our saga continues.

Villain

He was over this ridiculous game. He wanted to get back to some plain, old assassination. Murder was far easier than this kidnapping bullshit. He shifted his hat to cover his blackened eye. The little girl he tried to take just a few days ago had been one hell of a fighter and he was still astonished at how quickly she had managed to slip out of his grasp. Little bitch. It was time to bring the pain to someone who actually deserved it - that little pissant bastard and his pretty little lover. About fucking time.

He leaned back into the shadows, using the fading light and the curve of the building, protecting him from being seen, at least not too soon. Looking toward the entrance of the building, he waited for that pretty little lover boy to step out and walk into the fading light of day. The streets were quiet now. That thought amused him since the majority of those people meant shit to him. Then he straightened imperceptibly as he spotted his target. 

Kit:

It was a relief when the end of a long work day came, Kit walking out onto the street with just a hint of a headache behind his bleary eyes. Hours of fixing malfunctioning robotics software could do that. He sent a quick text to Aramis, letting him know that he was on his way home, and tightened his grip on his messenger bag as he walked down the street towards the nearest bus stop, not knowing that there was anyone lurking nearby on the mostly quiet street. 

His anxiety never really left him these days. It was always there, reminding him that Aramis was in danger. It made him move a little quicker, wanting to get home to his lover, back to the little bubble of feigned safety they’d created for themselves.

Villain:

As usual, he had parked the car a short distance away, in a blind spot from local surveillance cameras. Like most cities, Vannes thought itself something special with its security system but it was generally weak and haphazard, resting on laurels rather than reality. Of course, this only made his job a little easier and he had no real reason to criticize and yet still, internally they scoffed at their foolishness. He tried to move forward with ease and confidence, yet after the prior failure, he didn’t have the same spark for the whole exercise as it was previously. 

As he advanced, he considered the young man, moving with haste toward him. Not toward him of course. Toward the stop, he suspected, although he could be meeting someone. A meeting that he would rather insist his target would miss. He moved in front of him and came to a halt. The fold of his jacket parted just enough to make the nozzle of the handgun obvious. A dark blight against the backdrop of the well-dressed man. “Turn around and don’t make a fuss about it. I absolutely would not object to leaving you on this sidewalk in a pool of your own blood, in fact I’d frankly prefer it.”

Kit:

Kit looked down at his phone, sure that Aramis would have texted him about what they were having for dinner. He’d be cooking them something by now. But when Kit looked up from his phone, there was a figure before him, face slightly obscured by the brim of his hat. Kit was startled first by the sudden appearance, but then again when he realized what the stranger was holding. 

His throat tightened with anxiety at the words that followed this realization. Scowling, he slowly turned around. He wanted to shout, to do something, but there was no way he could do that with a gun pointed in his direction. Turning around, he tried to discreetly use his phone to call Aramis, slowly moving his thumb across the screen as he held the device at his side.

Villain:

“That’s a good little boy.” he crooned, amused by the obedience. He was a pretty thing now wasn’t it. “Let go of the phone boy. Just let it drop.” He instructed firmly, unable to resist pressing the nozzle of the firearm firmly into the young man’s back, hard enough to bruise. “And just keep walking.” He snarled. Just a short distance now. The vehicle loomed. This would be the last one, he prayed. He was tired of these particular creatures and keeping the hostages alive. It was tedious. 

Kit:

That’s a good little boy. Kit wanted to throw up. A lot. “Fuck you,” he snapped as he dropped his phone, peering down at it, his last text to Aramis on the screen. He had no idea what was about to happen to him, and he was scared out of his mind. But when he felt the gun pressed against his back hard, he reflexively swung an arm back to try and push the stranger off of him. He couldn’t just let this happen.

Villain:

“Maybe later.” He replied with a thread of satisfaction that he had gotten to the submissive. As he passed the phone, he brought his foot down heavily on it. He noted the screen had shattered before kicking it into the gutter. He hoped they found it later and figured out that he had gotten that bastard’s pretty lover boy. When the arm swung back it hit a bruise left by that little bitch from the other night. He snarled and wrapped a hand into Kit’s hair and pulled back roughly. “Try that again and you’ll end up in the gutter like your fucking phone.” he snarled. “Now move.” He shoved Kit forward, releasing his hand on the other male’s hair and using the nozzle of the gun to urge him onward. “Just open the backdoor and slide right on in, little bitch boy.” He ordered. The back seat of the car didn’t look special but in fact it was geared to being a prison cell. No handles, no ability to exit and a thin mesh preventing anyone in the back seat from getting into the front. It was a trap and all he needed was this submissive to climb right on in.

Kit:

Kit gasped as he felt the hand pull him back by his hair, trying hard not to let his panic show, swallowing his anxiety as best he could. He really did not want to end up in the gutter with his now shattered phone. So when he was pushed forward and further encouraged with the nozzle of the gun, he regained some level of his composure and walked, even if his heart was beating hard enough that he could hear it in his head. His will to survive, however, didn’t quite keep his mouth shut. “Who’s really the little bitch boy out of us? You’re just an errand boy for Armand, aren’t you?” When they reached the vehicle, Kit glared at the man behind him before sliding the door open. This was it. Once he got into this car, it was over. But it was either die here now or try to survive a little longer, so he got into the car, immediately crossing his arms. He surveyed his surroundings, noticing the changes made to the car, his current prison. There was no escape from here.

Villain:

The barb struck home and his jaw tightened. The little shit. He slammed the door closed behind the submissive and has to restrain himself from doing damage to the pretty little bitch. Sliding behind the wheel, his hands wrapped around the steering wheel, clenching hard enough to turn his knuckles white. He forced himself to relax after his wrists started to ache from the strain. The vehicle turned into the early evening traffic and he began to drive. Although the temptation to head straight out of the city was strong, he knew better than that. He took a twisting path, heading out of the City and then back again in different routes. He refused to look in the backseat at the pretty little bitch boy. Stupid Aramis. Fucking asshole gets this pretty thing and he was still alone. Bastards all of them.

Kit:

If Kit had learned anything from a nearly lifelong friendship with Dean, it was how to get under people’s skin. His best friend was incredibly gifted in this regard. Kit eyed the driver of the car, his captor, noting how tightly he held the steering wheel. “So is your job just like...failing to kill targets and kidnapping people or do you also have to get Armand off after too? Does he pay you a lot or are you just like in it for the craft?” Kit’s eyes peered as best he could through the front windshield to watch where they were going, but the winding trail was hard to track. “Or are you being forced into this too? Do you need help? Blink twice if you need help.” He kicked the back of the man’s seat. “No, guess not. You seem to like being Armand’s bitch too much.” 

Villain:

His jaw clenched so hard that his molars started to crack. Little fucker. Finally, on a back country road, the car screeched to a stop and he whipped around, his hand weaving into the mesh. If the mesh didn’t exist, his fist would have been buried in the submissive’s face. “Listen here you little shit. You’re nothing but trash I have to pick up to make a fucking point. Now shut the hell up or I’ll go back into this fucking city and get someone else after fucking burying your body in that field. If you’re lucky I’ll kill you first. Got that!” he snarled.

Kit:

When the car lurched to a stop and the arm went for the mesh keeping them apart, any bravery Kit had been feeling disappeared and the anxiety that normally had him lashing out, now had him silently glaring at the man through the mesh. This man could really kill him. “Oh, did your master tell you it was okay to kill me? Or do you like it when he punishes you?” Kit leaned back in the seat, slumping slightly as he crossed his arms, still openly glaring. 

Villain:

His fist pounded against the mesh and if looks could kill, Kit would already have been six feet under. He would have loved to have killed him. It wouldn’t have been hard even. This keeping them alive bullshit was way more fuss than it was worth. “He just said to get a few. You personally don’t matter at all. To anyone. I bury you out there, they’ll have forgotten about you by the time they are putting up the Christmas decorations you little slut. Now shut the fuck up.” He growled before turning around. 

Just as quickly as it has stopped, the vehicle roared to life. He didn’t bother with any more fiddle faddle, driving around bullshit. Instead he took the side roads that would lead to the cottage where the other prisoners waited. The annoying girl who supposedly couldn’t hear and the big pretty bitch. The road became jerky, hurling the vehicle around as they bumped, shimmied and ground over the harsh, rutted road. Pulling into the garage as night descended around them, he waited until the doors had closed completely before exiting the vehicle. If he had it his way, his three ‘guests’ would be in shallow graves out back soon enough. Until then, he needed to be patient. God help him. 

Kit:

You’re wrong, Kit thought. Aramis will find me. In fact, that was exactly what he feared would happen. Aramis would search for him. And find him. And get himself hurt. He could only hope his boyfriend took his advice and went to Katarin for help. He hoped Aramis didn’t give this man an opportunity to hurt him. With this thought, Kit continued to glare at the back of the man’s seat as he started the car up again.

Kit’s gaze drifted out the window, trying to get a good look at where they were going. As the road got bumpier, he took note. They were going further out than the main roads, obviously. Not surprising. When they reached their destination, Kit watched as the garage door closed, perhaps his last view of the outside world for a while. Maybe forever if this guy was seriously thinking of killing him. Watching the man as he got out of the vehicle, Kit positioned himself as far away from him as he could in the back seat, wary of what was about to happen.

Villain:

He took a few calming breaths and tried to centre himself. Just a short time now. Then this fucking nightmare would be over and he could get back to killing people like God or … well … the Devil intended. Finally he slowly slid out of the front seat and closed the door with a snap. Then he withdrew the gun again and opened the door to the backseat. “Nice and slow, little bitch. Cause at this point. I don’t fucking care any more. Out … now.” He gestured with the gun, directly Kit toward the back of the garage where a simple door waited to lead the submissive to his fate. 

Kit:

Kit really did pride himself on making this man lose the ability to give a shit. Truly. But when the gun was pointed at him again, there wasn’t much he could do to regain any sense of control he might have delusionally thought he had of this situation. He slowly slid across the back seat, balking as his gaze fell on the gun itself. He wasn’t sure he’d ever actually seen one in person before, and now it was pointed at him. He let the man guide him towards the door, not wanting to know what was on the other side of it. He stopped in front of it, limbs freezing in fear. 

Villain:

“I don’t have time for you to be a scared little bitch. Open the fucking door you little shit and head on down.” He snarled moodily. He nudged Kit in the back with his free hand and then slapped the back of the submissive’s head roughly. “Hurry up. I’m already tired of your shit.” Down those stairs was the row of cells, already incarcerating the others. “Get going. Now.”

Kit:

Kit resisted slightly as he was pushed forward, letting out a yelp when he was slapped in the head. “Fuck...! Fine. Fucking asshole,” he cursed as he reached out and gripped the handle, opening the door. It was dark as he made his way down the steps. He knew it would be. He did not expect to find cells down there. He was sad to recognize both of the occupants there as he squinted through the darkness, though he was glad they were alive. This guy seemed unhinged enough to actually murder someone when he wasn’t busy being a lousy shot. 

Villain:

“I’ll fuck yours later if I get bored and want some asshole’s sloppy seconds.” He stated with a loud growl. He followed the submissive down the stairs, where the row of cells awaited. Jadon’s poor bandaged arm the only evidence of any physical harm. “Step inside. First open one. Don’t test me you little bitch, I’ll fucking shoot your damned ass, just drag you into a cell and everyone can enjoy the pleasant scents as you rot on the floor.”

Kit:

“Lucky for me I’m sure you have a very exciting evening of being fucking evil planned,” Kit spat. He told himself it was probably an empty threat even as his anxiety spiked. Walking past the two occupied cells, he glanced at the occupants briefly before entering the first empty one. There was no point in fighting it now. The least he could do was try to draw attention away from the other two when he could. “You made a mistake, taking me, you know. This is how you’re going to fail.” He wished he could be as sure as he forced himself to sound, but when he didn’t arrive home to Aramis, he knew his Dominant would tear apart the whole country until he was found.

Villain:

For once, he laughed. Actually laughed. The sound was so unfamiliar that it seemed rusty and strange in his throat and to his ears. As Kit stepped inside, he reached for the door to the human sized cage and tugged it closed. It slammed closed with a loud jangle. “You’re in a cage and your little bitch boyfriend is exactly nowhere to be found. He couldn’t even protect you. I can’t wait to bury you out back and forget I ever saw your damn face.”

Kit:

This guy really was underestimating Aramis. “Give him a little time,” Kit said as he watched the door to his cell close. He gripped the bars of his cage and tried to gather any courage he had left. “I’ll be sure to remember your face so I can identify you in a lineup or point you out in court when the time comes. Looking forward to it.” He glared at the man. “When you report into your master, tell him I said hi.” 

Villain:

He turned on his heel and headed up the stairs, flicking off the last remaining light as he did so, plunging the basement from semi-darkness to total darkness. He would be damned if this plan would get him killed. He was following orders and frankly three bullets and a shallow graves would appeal to him much more than this bullshit. He didn’t respond to the submissive. Frankly, he had already stopped listening to the boy. He was in his own worries now. Fucking hell…. This was bullshit.

Kit:

When the lights went out completely, Kit bit the inside of his cheek, trying to quell his fear. He slowly started to walk the perimeter of his cage, small as it was. Pacing was all he could really do other than sit and wait to either be found or killed. His heart pounded in his chest, but he had to stay calm. He couldn’t give that guy the satisfaction of anxiety attack. “Fuck,” he whispered to himself as it all really started to sink in just how much trouble he was in.

Kit sat down and let himself panic, making himself as small as he possibly could as he tried to just keep breathing.

[strainingfororiginality]

Chapter 9.4 - Timing

Divine Simulacrum - Yeasayer

She's not your average station vixen

Or a manic pixie dream girl

She's a mimeogragh, not a blot on your past

And you cannot leave her vision

She's Divine Simulacrum

And you can't help your attraction

She's divine, she was made for you

And it could be so good

She was alone … on this fucking rock … unable to leap free, falling to her knees as she stared down at her hands, but this time she was not crying.

No. She was so very tired of crying.

Gripping the metal bar tightly in her little fists, she took deep breaths and waited patiently.

A light shone bright behind her, it seemed artificial and intense, casting her shadow long and slender on the worn concrete floor ahead of her. She looked at the fresh spray paint haphazardly strewn across it in various places and as her eyes floated up from her lap, she smirked.

A clap of distant thunder.

Her muscles tensed.

It was then that she saw the other shadow approaching slowly from behind her. It had moved silently and its shadow had entirely encompassed hers before she heard its heartbeat. Strong and dangerous, just like hers.

She stared at the outlined shape on the ground, knowing who it was. Tall, broad-shouldered, and masculine. His voice was calm and firm, just as she remembered it.

"Dawn?"

Yes.

"Hello Grandfather." She sneered fiercely through her clenched teeth as she tightened her grip on the intricately carved shaft in her hands, her leather gloves squeaking from the pressure against the metal staff.

Round one … had been in her childhood bedroom. That night when he burned her. She lost that round.

Round two … had been on that rooftop. That afternoon when she bent time around him. She won that round.

Now … 

Round three …

Mr. Parker’s voice echoed from the deepest part of her memory …

"Remember, little one, they can’t attack you if they can’t stand."

Vapour - Vancouver Sleep Clinic

This ship was only ever built to fall apart

The oceans that we couldn't cross

The London Bridge is caving in

Cities melt into my skin

It's looking thin

Where my heart is there's never a home

These wooden doors are closed and this prison's cold

In my glory bowing out to the crowd

Returning to the ground

He didn’t like being unable to blink around in Heaven. Having to actually walk to locations was both confusing and annoying. Heaven was vast. He put his human facade back on and walked for what seemed like ages, trying to find the exact road back to Elysium.

As he finally approached the tiny cottage, he could see Sempronius sitting comfortably at the table outside, his reading glasses on and a book open in his hands. Honoria was exiting the building with a pitcher full of something iced and she filled up his glass before settling into the chair beside him.

This moment hit Quintus hard and he could see their happiness here. He could feel their peace and for a moment, he envied them as well as coveted what they had found together … here. His envy quickly melted to shame as he paused, considering not asking for their help at all. He could simply walk away and leave them to their eternity of paradise.

What could helping him cost them? Anything? Nothing? Everything? He wasn’t sure, but what he did know was giving Sempronius the option of helping was what Quintus himself would appreciate, if the situation were reversed.

Honoria was mumbling about being bored and wishing to go on a walk. Sempronius seemed to be completely ignoring her until Quintus forced himself forward, into their view.

His father let the book float down to the table top as he moved his glassed down to the very tip of his nose, allowing him to peer at Quintus over their rim. "Quintus."

"Oh!" Honoria sprung to her feet and approached him. There was brief hesitation as she considered embracing him, then thought not to embrace but then suddenly did. He grinned slightly at her awkwardness and half returned the gesture, patting her on the back with strange enthusiasm. A half hug was far better than Quintus had afforded most and she accepted it with a full hearted smile. “Please join us!”

"I …" He stared at the empty seat at the table and his heart sank a bit. It would have been easy to just sit and accept their peace and … exist in this harmony with the family he had always wanted, but that was not an option that he had any desire for anymore. In showing him what his human life would have been like and in confessing to him that he had wished this fate, she had set him free of any lingering desire to be normal. Quintus had never felt greater clarity than he did in this instance. “I cannot stay. I have come to request …” The words stuck in his throat. Had he ever asked for help before? Yes. He was sure he had. Many times, in fact. As a general, as a leader, as a hunter … He paused. But, had he ever asked for help from someone he loved before?

Love? Did he just … Yes. He did. Staring back into his mother’s gray-blue eyes that he realized he did love them. Both of them …

"What is it?" Honoria read his discomfort and she might have pressed further, but her eyes darted to the right, catching a glimpse of something over his shoulder as she greeted someone standing behind him. “Oh … Hello? May I help you?”

"I was told so ... I was hoping you might know where I can find …" He was half turned around, at first worried that it might be an emissary of Heaven, but when he heard her voice, he recognized it instantly. With his human facade still in place, he furrowed his brows deeply as he locked eyes with her and she smiled, pure recognition falling across her lovely face. “... Quintus.”

"Tasa."

"Finally."

His amber eyes watched from a close vantage point. He was never the most patient angel, but he sat and remained so now. Eventually, he saw the boy approach the house as he knew he would. Raphael had scoffed at him when he said the boy would go to them for help. His brother had said something about ‘Quintus never asking for help’ or it being out of character because he ‘wouldn’t involve them’, but Gabriel had a hunch anyways and now he watched, silently spying on them.

"I knew it. Now who’s laughing, Raphael? Huh?" He spoke to himself, quite pleased.

He could have come forward and arrested him now, as there was no where the boy could hide. Even if he tried to run, Gabriel was faster and stronger, but he held his position. He had an impressive amount of respect for Honoria as well as Sempronius, and he would not drag their son away in front of their eyes.

No. He would not do that to them. No parent should watch that.

And so he waited for the boy to leave instead and that is when the slender, dark-haired woman arrived.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. He knew who she was. He had learned all about the boy’s life during the trial.

"Oh shit … This is gonna be good …"

Dubai - Armand Amar

She wasn’t as strong as him and she wasn’t as tough, but he couldn’t seem to hit her, not that he really wanted to. Even if he went at her full strength, she was moving like the wheel moved … like Lilith could move. He was still holding back, but some part of him knew it didn’t matter, because eventually, her lack of endurance would be her downfall.

Each time their staffs connected, it sent shockwaves rippling through the stale factory air and though he could hold his ground, it would thrust her back. Her tiny body would require at least one step backwards to steady herself. He knew he could go at this for much longer than she, but he felt unease over the situation as he knew she wasn’t foolish. He knew that Lucifer wouldn’t be that foolish either.

Fighting him hand to hand couldn’t have been their only plan …

When she opened herself up for a strike, there was no hesitation on his part and he swung brutally hard, connecting the staff into her side and her body tumbled away from him, rolling across the wet concrete floor. As she slid to a rest, she remained still for a moment before she brought her head up to lock eyes with him.

He watched her come up to her knees and he sighed. "We can still talk about this, little one." He tried one last time to request her surrender but bumps fluttered across the skin of his arm as the tiniest of grins spread across her face.

Uh oh … that grin … 

This was when he smelled the blood. It was dripping from her left hand and he tilted his head to the right and then to the left as she brought her clenched fist to her chest. When did she … cut herself? He didn’t … why would she … ?

Wait …

"I really think we’re beyond talking." She opened her hand and slammed her palm down onto the ground. Onto the fresh brown paint line …

A fraction of an second of pause, Michael’s eyes darted from left and right as he realized there was paint all around him, but it wasn’t chaotic or random as he assumed. The smell … it was fresh.

Distracted …

He was standing in the middle of a massive glyph. Some of the marks were cleverly hidden under boxes and … equipment and … ah crap …

His body was so very heavy and it was getting worse as the weight of the entire world began to push down on him savagely.

Heavy ...

His feet … he couldn’t lift them …

His knees … he couldn’t … collapsing down, he lunged forward, his palms hitting the ground, stuck to it.

From this vantage point he could see more of the symbol … oh fuck …

So … very … heavy …

"What’s wrong, Governor?" She stood. He couldn’t turn his head to see the smile that was obviously across her face, but he could hear the amusement in her voice. His eyes traced the fresh spray paint. He could only see a fraction of the curve, but he understood what it was. He recognized it. “Can’t stand?”

It was the Enochian symbol for Encumbrance, or more directly translated, pressure. It was the power of Gravity.

The weight of the entire world pressing down on him. Desperate to maintain control, he reached out with the power of creation to pull the staff into his armour, but it was too late and he collapsed even further as the weapon slipped from his grip.

He watched in silent horror as it hit the ground and rolled away. His eyes trailed the movement and he saw Barqan, bound and gagged behind some boxes, leaning against the far back wall. The Black Djinn returned his gaze and shook his head pitifully.

Shit.

Clever pair, aren’t they?

Awkward was not the right word to define the unfolding situation. That word lacked the proper intensity.

All four sat around the quaint patio table and there was a painful silence as seconds turned into minutes and Quintus had no idea what to say, unable to mask his nervousness. He really needed to be going, but he knew he afforded this woman, his one-time wife, some respect and at the very least, some words.

Eventually it was Sempronius who spoke first, addressing the beautiful dark-haired lady. "Quintus never mentioned a wife." He couldn’t tell if Sempronius’ tone was condescending or annoyed, or if he just didn’t care at all, but either way, Honoria shot him a perturbed look. His father definitely didn’t mince words, did he? “What?” He looked at his own wife, feigning ignorance. “Quintus likes his secrets.”

Hmm … definitely annoyance then. Definitely directed towards Quintus also. This was far more passive aggressive than he was used to from Sempronius. It was clear that whatever had driven him from helping Abraham was still bothering him now.

"So …" Honoria attempted to be more welcoming, but her words lingered. “How long were you two married?”

"Not long." Quintus answered curtly. It wasn’t that he didn’t remember or that he was intentionally being rude, but he was so conditioned over the years to avoiding speaking of his family. His? No. That was no longer true, was it? Amenzu’s family.

Tasa smiled, further recognition spreading across her face as she accepted his usual coldness with a grain of salt. He looked human right now, but she could easily read that he was still Quintus under the facade. "Six years."

"Hmmm. Well, six years is a long time." Sempronius said. “Much longer than we had ... at least on Earth that is.” Honoria shot him another exasperated look and he shrugged. “What?”

"And you did not visit your wife when you arrived, Quintus?" Honoria questioned him next. It seemed Sempronius would not be the only one on the receiving end of her flash judgement and Quintus gulped.

"In fact I did, but …" He fought to hide his festering nerves. “She was with her first love. I did not wish to intrude.” That last part was a lie, but he really didn’t wish to discuss this in front of his parents of all people.

"Oh." Honoria’s eyes grew wide at the news, her eyes shifting down to the table with her own growing nervousness.

"Eh. It’s a quite common occurrence here. Especially when death is so far apart." Sempronius shrugged off the statement. “I am not with my second wife either. However, some have made sharing time work. There is no shame in attempting this.” Was his father seriously suggesting that he … share another man’s wife with him?

"Uh huh." Honoria cleared her throat. “Some.”

"Well … if all three parties involved agree with it, I’ve known individuals who have been able to make it work." Quintus watched their faces carefully.

"Three parties …" Honoria raised an eyebrow to Sempronius as some kind of history was laced in their conversation. “Or four parties, yes? If all things are fairly distri--”

There was a distinct moment of contention as Sempronius’ left eye twitched almost unnoticably and he changed the conversation swiftly "So … Tasa, is it? What do you do? How do you choose to spend your time here in paradise?"

"Oh …" Her face lit up and she smiled at the question. “I run a tea shop in the Quarter Street area of Elysium, just down the way from the main market.” Quintus watched her eyes grow wide with happiness as she spoke to him. “You should visit some time again. It is rare that we have such celebrities in our midst. I mean …” She waved a hand towards his father and then him. “I mean, you both of course. Sempronius Densus and General Quintus Sertorius … ”

This simple thing pleased her greatly. She had always been simple and kind. Far too kind. Kind to a detriment in fact and he watched her grow animated over the invitation while she also praised them both and their greatness. He knew neither of them actually appreciated it though. They were both quite put off by unnecessary accolades.

"A tea shop?" Sempronius’ brows knitted with obvious disdain. “Where you … serve people? You spend eternity serving people?” His father stated plainly. “How … quaint.”

There was a noise from below the table and Sempronius shot up in his seat suddenly as he was kicked from underneath.

"No more or less quaint than your cottage here, I would assume." Tasa’s retort was on point and showed more sharp wit than Quintus had ever known her for.

He found himself grinned slightly as Sempronius grunted a sound of displeasure from her counter to his veiled insult. "Hmmmmm."

Honoria reached out, grabbing her husband’s forearm. "Perhaps we can give them a moment to themselves? I need some help inside. Will you?"

She was standing and Sempronius was following suit without any argument.

"No. No, I really can not stay long …" Quintus wanted desperately for them to stay. He was almost afraid to be alone with Tasa, but he needed to get going. Something sharply churned in the pit of his stomach. He needed to … something was happening … somewhere ...

The timing on all of this was … ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE.

Together - The xx

I know to be there

When and where, I’ll be there

You know what’s to be said

We said out loud, we never said

Turning back, he found her marvelous brown eyes staring into him and he found himself at a loss of words again, only able to gaze back as the sound of her soft voice and songs played across the recesses of his memory. Somehow, that damn shell was out of his pocket again, and he was toying with it in his hands. He was grateful, however, that it was not the locket. That would have given the exact wrong impression he wished to convey at this moment.

"Why did you come here?" He asked.

"Do you … wish me to go?"

Did he? He had let her go so many months ago. He had actually let her go that day at the stream, when he had allowed the locket to slip from his hands. But, while he had been afforded that closure, he had not given her the same opportunity and he needed to give her that now if she required it from him.

Closure. He shook his head. "No. We should speak."

"I do remember now. You were at the tea house that day … " She said, spinning her cup in her delicate, slender hands. He remembered the feel of those fingers across his skin, touching his bare head while she sang to him so many nights. “I remember you being there that day … and with a prophet no less.” He had missed that smile so much. It had motivated him for so long. It had driven him so fundamentally. “I apologize for not recognizing you.” There was genuine shame in her voice. “If I had known you were here, I would have come sooner, but I try to keep my head out of the politics here.”

"It is fine." He found it difficult to return her warm gaze and instead, he stared at his hands and at the shell as he tapped it on the wooden table top. “I was … not myself … that day. I was … ” Hiding.

"And you continue to be …" She motioned towards his visage, an innocent grin accompanying her words. “Not yourself?”

"Ah … this." He pointed to his face and hesitated, almost appreciating the way that she looked at him now, before he dropped the facade. Though she tried to hide it, he could see the micro tenses in her face as his natural dhampir form stared back at her. Even now, even after all this time, there was still a hint of fear that his appearance invoked within her.

"You don’t need to change back. It … It suits you." She reached for his hand and he surprisingly allowed her to grip it as she assured him it was alright to be human. It was alright to hide himself. It was alright to change.

"No. It does not … What I look like on the outside doesn’t change who I am within." There was discomfort in this for him. He could see from her expression that she would have preferred him to remain human, but he had already accepted who he was as the creature he wanted to be. He was free to no longer hate himself. “This suits me. This is who I am and this is who I wish to be. The mask was simply a necessity due to …”

Being a fugitive.

The words lingered on his tongue and he considered telling her. But why? No. He would not place that responsibility on her. There was no reason to … she wasn’t his and he was no longer hers. This interaction just reinforced it all to him.

"I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to imply--"

"Yes. It was." He said with calm firmness. There was no anger in these words though, just simple honestly. “But it matters not … not anymore.”

"Does it not?" Her face contorted with concern. He was older now yes, but she still knew how to read him. Some of the most fundamental parts of his personality would never change and she understood his discomfort. He was being curt with her. He often had been in their formative years, but not in the latter ones. In the latter ones, they had become quite intimate with each other. He was a child back then, but in all fairness, was her soul not the same age as his now?

But this wasn’t helpful. He needed to put her at ease. It was not her fault all of this occurred. "I apologize I said nothing to you that day, but you were there … with …" Why did the man’s name catch in his throat? Was he jealous? No, he actually wasn’t at all. “Amenzu. You were happy. I wished you to remain so.”

"Yes." Discomfort. He wondered about the first conversation Sempronius had with Honoria once he joined her here. It was likely just as awkward. “I did not wait for you, Quintus … because I did not think you would …” She pulled back her gentle touch on his hand. “I did not think you would ever come to Heaven.”

That was a fair statement. He had always assumed he would go to Hell. That is where demons belong, is it not?

"Because of my past?" He watched her face fall with sadness. “The military service that I--”

"I visited you, Quintus. In the beginning, when I first came here … I worried about you and I visited you." Interrupting him, she confessed softly. “I visited you many times and … I …” She hesitated and he could feel the raw emotion leaking into her lovely melodic voice “What I saw terrified me. What I witnessed … from you …” Her eyes darted from his and he understood the underlying fear better now. “That was not the man that I married … That was not the man that freed me ...”

From A Savage Inconvenience, Interlude 3: The Monotony of Immortality

This was a dark time of several hundred years over which he was now remorseful. It had been centuries filled with blood, rage, and satisfaction. He had feasted on all types, all ages, and all things - savagely and ruthlessly, with and without consent. He had tried to prove to himself that he was more strigoi than human and he had drowned his anguish in the blood of innocents and cretins, tyrants and saints. Quintus knew he was not a good man by any means.

"I saw …" Her confession continued. “I saw you burn Rome. I saw you feast … kill … I saw ...”

Oh gods. She had been watching him that night? He bit back his shame. He bit back his guilt. He nearly allowed himself to feel it, but that fleeting emotion faded quickly.

"I saw you as a …"

"A monster?" He took her hand across the table and gripped it. He was not a good man. He had tried to be when he was with her and she had made him feel like it was possible, but … that was not who he was. She misunderstood that the man she remembered was actually the facade.

Should he even attempt to excuse himself or his actions? What happened was over a millenia ago, when the loss of his family had sent him down a dark path and he had spent hundreds of years as … a monster? Was he a monster? How did one even define monster?

Regardless, if he claimed his actions were because of their loss, how could that possibly make her feel? Wouldn’t that just be deflecting blame onto her? But really, should he bother to explain himself?

No.

He had no time for this nor did he have need for the emotions this might invoke. That time in his life, with her and Sura, was over and he realized now, looking into her eyes, how useful it had been at the time, but how utterly pointless it was for him now.

"Forgive me." Her hand found his again. “I judged you.”

Yes and he had no doubts that he deserved her judgement, but he simply had no time for it now, nor did he have any desire for it. "You have every right. I have done terrible things."

"I did not think I would ever see you again … especially not here …" She took a deep breath. “Not in Heaven, of all places. After what I saw, I was certain you would go … ”

"To the pit." He finished her sentence. “As all demons should?” He saw her guilt. Though he was now quite immune to feeling it, she obviously was not and he gripped her hand tightly, giving her a warm smile. “Unfortunately … it turns out … I am not a demon at all nor am I monster.”

"No." She admitted, gripping him more tightly. “As I’ve been told … you are in fact divine … an Angel …”

Wait … did this excuse his actions? Now that he wasn’t a demon? Quintus found himself pulling back slightly. Was he disappointed in her? No. Absolutely not. Did she think he was disappointed in her? Likely.

Finally, his parents returned.

Thank the gods.

Sempronius laid a tray full of even more human food down before them and stared into Quintus’ eyes, reading the hidden desperation for reprieve. It seemed as if Honoria either picked up on Sempronius’ masked queue, or she read Quintus himself, but she took note immediately.

How was it that they already knew him so very well?

"Tasa." His mother smiled. “Would you help me? There’s another tray.”

"Of course." The dark-haired woman was up in an instant, seemingly jumping at the opportunity to flee Quintus’ presence as much as he wished to be free of hers.

Damnation.

Sempronius waited until they were inside before he spoke. "She’s very …" He thought about his words very carefully. Honoria clearly gave him a lecture while they were in the house. “... lovely.”

"I was very young." Quintus stated in a defensive tone.

"Obviously." Sempronius shrugged.

"Indeed."

"Our conversation was difficult as well. But it really is best if you have time alone to sort through the … discomfort."

"No. It does not matter …" Quintus watched through the window, seeing his mother laugh and Tasa join her in shared amusement. They would have gotten along quite well it seemed, but it really mattered not, as he kept telling himself. He was certain Honoria would much prefer the company of someone who could best her in a fight.

"Time can be shared." Sempronius offered again. “It can be done.”

"Would you have shared Honoria then?" Quintus had easily read the conversation earlier and he knew exactly whom Sempronius would have been sharing his love with and his father glared at him with fire. “It does not matter. She is happy.” Something slipped passed Quintus’ normally closed emotional gates and he saw Sempronius grin ever so slightly, tilting his head to the right.

"Ahhh. I see." A single nod. “You love another.”

The statement was simple and he looked up from the shell, nearly shocked at the observation. A moment of quietness and he nodded. He was not this easy to read, was he? "Yes."

"Is this …" Something seemed to shift in his father’s mind and the grin faded. “This is the one that Abraham fears so much?”

Fears? Did Abraham fear his poet? Yes and no. The professor definitely feared what her existence might bring. She was, after all, The Feared but he saw a suspicious twinkle behind Sempronius’ eyes. Was this word chosen with great purpose? Quintus looked down at the object in his hands as he fiddled it with growing nervousness. "I require your help, Sempronius. You and Honoria." Her help might be more important than Sempronius’ himself.

"Help with what? If you wish our help, then you need to tell us what is happening, son." Sempronius firmly stated. Son … “We cannot help you with anything if you will not trust us.”

Silence. Quintus looked around the surrounding area before returning to the nervous act of fiddling with the shell. Much like a similar nervous tick of Dawn rubbing her wrist annoying him, Sempronius had enough and held his hand out for the object. Quintus relinquished it immediately.

"Bolinus brandaris." Sempronius tapped into his vast knowledge and named the species of the snail. “Known to exist through Cyprus, Spain, and Italy. It was widely used as a rich and vibrant dye. In Biblical Hebrew, it is known as argaman.”

Argaman? He watched his father spin the spiny shell in his hands and he asked suddenly. "What do you know of the Order of the Argaman Sun?"

"Order of?" His father shrugged. “I have heard of no such thing.” Damn. “Argaman is also an Israeli settlement in the Jordan Valley?” He offered.

No. That wasn’t helpful. That wasn’t it. Quintus reached out and took the container of sugar, dumping it on the table as he traced the symbol he had seen on Ancharia’s scarf into the granules. "Do you know what language this is?"

Sempronius cocked his head inquisitively to the right with a grin. "That’s Akkadian, Quintus."

He looked down at the symbol. "No it isn’t." He was somewhat familiar with Akkadian. He spoke a good portion of it, but he wasn’t overly familiar with its script. Nevertheless, it was not it. “It is--”

"It’s inverted." Sempronius wiped the symbol clear and re-drew it, inverting it. Damn. He was right. The scarf was draped over the chair … backwards. How had he missed that? “What does it say?”

"ಇಂಡಿಗೊ ಸನ್" He spoke the translation in Akkadian and Quintus shifted uncomfortably. The second word, he was assuming would be Sun, as Ancharia had spoken it as such, but it was not Sun at all, but Son. He stared at the shell again.

"You said dye? What color?"

"Indigo, or what’s most commonly known as ... Tyrian Purple."

"Order of the …" Quintus looked up, his brows furrowing deeply. “Order of the Purple … Son?”

"Purple Son? Who is …" The words trailed off and Sempronius knew. “Quintus … what is this Order? What does this mean to you?”

"I must go now …" Quintus stood immediately, the vigor of his action knocking the chair away from him and to the ground. “I must go now. I should not have come here. This is not something I should involve you in. Forgive me.”

He had only taken a few steps when Honoria’s voice called to him from behind. They had returned. "Wait … are you leaving?!? Without saying goodbye? Good lord. We just put together this--"

"No please. It is not necessary." Quintus thrust a hand out, attempting to halt her offer. “I really can not stay any longer. I must be going …”

"Oh …" Tasa nervously shifted. “I am so sorry. I have just shown up, without invitation. I can easily come back another time … or … perhaps, you might come and find me? I have not mentioned your being here to Sura yet, I am sure that she would be most--”

"No. You misunderstand. I apologize so much for this abruptness, Tasa. I should have found you earlier. I should have … I owe you so much more than this rushed good-bye." Quintus confessed as he bowed his head in shame. “I must be going but I will not be coming back ...”

"What are you talking about?" Sempronius shook his head. “Where are you going?”

"To Earth …"

Every second that passed, his body compressed down with more pressure and eventually he began to hear his own bones snapping, one by one, over and over again. He had experienced worse pain and he clenched his jaw, fighting his desire to cry out. No. He would not give that little shit the satisfaction of hearing his pain.

Once his body was nothing more than a formless mess of flesh and crushed bone on the ground, he heard her rub a portion of the glyph away with her boot and the gravity alleviated. Relief spread across his body and it slowly began the process of reforming. She was already upon him, using her staff to flip him over so he could see into her overly pleased face.

He wasn’t sure what her next plan might be, but as she reached down, he realized. She pulled the ring from his finger and slid it into her own. He was reminded of that time in her bedroom when she had done the same as a child. She was the only one in existence that had ever worn it other than him.

Michael’s bones began to snap loudly back into form, sending pangs of agony rippling through his body as it did so. He tried to rush the process along, but his body was ravaged.

Lucifer was bending down to him. He expected his little brother’s tone to be smug, but instead there was a deep sadness in it. He wasn’t happy to see Michael this way and in this moment, Michael realized how much he still missed the light bringer.

"I’m sorry, Mike. You know you’ll always be my favorite, but … this is necessary."

If Michael’s jaw was functioning, he would have tried to say something snarky, but … his eyes shifted quickly to the left as he saw Dawn picking something up. Lucifer followed his eyes and the Light Bringer sprang to his feet as quickly as he could.

"Aurora no! Don’t touch the staff! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO CONTROL THAT YET--"

But it was already far too late. She had already picked up the The Traveller’s Staff and there was a crack of thunder as the staff locked into place, shifting into her divinity like a key and reading from her subconscious the place where she desperately had wanted to go for the last year. Reading from her subconscious, the person her undisciplined mind was so desperate to find.

And then she was gone … 

"FUUUUUUUUUCK."

Timing.

Somewhere in Heaven, Sandalphon sighed as she took another drink of her coffee. Setting the book down on the table, she placed her head into her hands and she wept.

"I’m so very sorry."

It’s all about timing.

[salazarscastleofglass]

A Horseback Tour of the Grounds

Summary: Draco takes OC Violet on a tour of the Malfoy Land. (Read the House Tour, Part One here and Part Two here.)

Warnings: None.

Length: 2K words

Series: Castle of Glass

Timing: After the Battle of Hogwarts Part 8

Violet changed into the riding clothes and went downstairs to find Draco wearing a similar outfit. “You look nice with your hair up, you don’t do that very often.” Violet blushed, Draco was always noticing things like that. She followed him to the back door in the kitchen and found two horses saddled and ready to ride on the far end of the deck. They were tied to a hitch she hadn’t noticed before.

“This,” Draco led her to a dapple-gray horse with a braided mane. “is Lucy, she’s a sweet lady. Not that I have to worry about you around animals.” Draco chuckled at his girlfriend. Violet had dropped his hand and was already stroking the mares neck and speaking to her softly. “Do you know how to ride?”

Violet looked to Draco.  “Oh, it’s been forever, and these guys are saddled for English, I rode Western for a few years, before I started Ilvermorny.”

Draco nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with Western riding I could check with the stable master, see if any of the other horses are used to that. I don’t know if we have any western tack though.”

Violet shook her head. “It’s not too different, and it was so long ago I’m sure it wouldn’t make a difference anyway.  You have a stable master?”

“We have a small stable on the grounds, you’ll see it in a while. There’s a larger stable in town and the man that runs it is a squib. He and his sons come and take care of the horses.” Draco looked at her shocked face. “You have no idea how much the Malfoy name is worth do you?”

“I guess not.” Violet grinned. “Who’s this?” She gestured the chestnut stallion Draco was patting.

Draco smiled sheepishly. “Cinnamon, but he responds to Cinna… I got him when I came back from my second year at Hogwarts. He’s my first horse, the mare I learned on one that was older. I got him green-broke. I worked with him all summer to get him trained well. Lucy is the first horse my father bought my mother. I think she was a wedding present.”

“I think Cinnamon is a nice name.” Violet checked the cinch on her saddle before mounting gracefully.

“I guess some things are just muscle memory.” Draco laughed. “I was going to help you mount, should have known better. You were more eager than Potter to ride the hippogriffs, and always feeding the thestrals with Luna. I don’t know why I never thought to ask if you had ridden.” Draco let Lucy off the long rope that she had been tied with. “Do you want Cinna to lead her?” Violet shook her head

“I think I can manage.” Violet watched as Draco deftly untied the other leopard before mounting Cinna. “Where are we going?”

“I figured we’d walk them through the gardens up here on the right, and then once Lucy is used to you we’ll go see some of the other grounds, maybe we’ll even go into town.” Violet gave Lucy a soft squeeze and the sweet girl started a slow walk in the direction of the cobblestone path through the gardens. Reaching the gardens violet gave a slight pull to the left with her reins and then realized that the horse was broken for English riding and wouldn’t respond to that. She tried to remember how to use leg aids to turn and ended up turning the horse the wrong way. “You sure you don’t want me to get the lead?” Draco called back over his shoulder at her.

Catching up to him and blushing Violet laughed. “I figured it out, didn’t I? She didn’t respond to rein commands. I just mixed up the legs for turning that’s all.” Draco shook his head and smiled at her.

“She’ll respond to the rein if you hold it for a second. English riding rein commands are in the bit, not the neck. Plus, she’s an old girl and my mom was a hard rider. She loved to ride and would drive my father crazy going for long trail rides. She wasn’t such a fan of actually taking care of the horses though.” Violet wasn’t necessary surprised that the Malfoys had horses, but she tried to think of Narcissa riding in any setting other than a dressage show and failed. Draco moved ahead of her and passed the statue of Armand Malfoy.

Draco moved through various bits of the garden, pausing here and there to introduce a statue or explain some story. Where they had turned left to go to the pool Draco now turned right. Violet followed and came up alongside him, to his right, secretly hoping Lucy would take cues from Cinna. “This part of the Garden was put up by the first Lucius Malfoy, while he was courting Queen Elizabeth.” Draco dismounted and then helped Violet down from her horse.

They were in a circular opening under a large apple tree, Draco reached up and plucked down 3 apples.  He tossed Violet and apple and then cut another into quarters for the horses. Violet laughed, having missed the odd feeling of such a large animal eating gently from your hand. They finished the apples and then mounted the horses again. This time, Violet followed Draco out of the gardens all together.

Draco stopped Cinna as they entered a wide-open field. “Think you’re up to going a little faster?”

“How much faster, and to where?” Violet wasn’t sure yet if she had control of Lucy or if Lucy was just following Cinna.

Draco laughed at her hesitance. “There’s a stream just inside those trees.  It’ll take 10 minutes at a canter, not quite 20 at a trot.” Violet nodded, and Draco spurred on Cinna, who moving quickly from a stop to a trot. Taking a deep breath Violet took Lucy to a walk before pushing her into a trot. Either Lucy was fast for her age, or Draco was going slow on purpose because she Violet caught up and overtook them quickly.  She heard Draco laugh and push Cinna into an easy canter and Violet followed suit.  Soon after, Violet noticed that Luna seemed to be in pain. Violet dropped her weight in the saddle and pulled back on the reins bringing Lucy to a stop.  Draco must have noticed, he reined up Cinna and turned him around.

“I don’t think Lucy likes to canter very much. She started moving kind of… off. Like tossing her head and then raised it up high.” Draco frowned, dismounted, and handed Cinna’s reins over to Violet to pat Lucy down.

“She doesn’t seem hurt. Can you walk her forward for me?” Violet handed Draco back the reins to Cinna and gave Lucy a gentle nudge.  She moved forward at a normal gait and seemed fine again.

“She seems fine,” Draco mounted Cinna again and moved up to where Violet had stopped. “You’re probably right that she just doesn’t want to canter. My mother went through horses quickly, she got another new horse right after I was born, Lucy would have only been 4 or 5. None of them ever ended up lame or anything, they just fizzled out, wouldn’t go fast enough for Mother.  She was ok at a trot, though right?” Violet nodded. “We’ll just stick to that then.” Violet and Draco set off again. Determined not to push Lucy too hard Violet watched Draco disappear between the trees.

They caught up with them only once he had dismounted and removed the bit to allow Cinna to drink from the stream. Cinna was going down to drink when Violet came up alongside him. Draco stepped around and removed her bit while Violet dismounted and gave her a gentle praise. Violet sat on a fallen log while Draco tied the horses to a nearby tree, where they could drink from the stream or graze on a patch of grass. She looked at the handsome man gently leading them by the reins before attaching the leads already on the tree to each of them.  Clearly, he brought Cinna here often. She was admiring the way his blonde hair and grey eyes looked against the lush greed canopy that surrounded them when he handed her a glass of rosé.

Violet took the bottle from him incredulous. “Malfoy Apothecary. You own a winery too?”

Draco gave her a grin and cocked his head to the side. “We’re French, what did you expect? The vineyard’s that way.” Draco pointed somewhere to the left of the manor.  

Violet shook her head as Draco handed her a sandwich. “Ok I have to ask, where does the Malfoy fortune come from?” Violet always avoided talking about Draco’s money and she really didn’t care about it, it was just so hard to ignore sometimes. Like when he casually shows her a beautiful home and then a horseback tour of the grounds. She had fallen for him when he kissed her that day in the room of requirement, and not for nothing, she fought that feeling hard. Then again, and again, and again when he proved to her that he wasn’t the asshole everyone thought he was.

“A lot of places, not wine though I can tell you that much. The grounds were given to Armand by William the Conqueror for his help in winning the throne. Then the Malfoy’s spent 600 years courting the powers that be.” Draco ran his hand through his hair again. He had worked up a sweat riding and his hair spiked. “Umm. A lot of it is from, underhanded deals. We were able to… help… various powerful people to become more powerful.  That kind of work pays well.” Draco was obviously ashamed of what he was alluding to.

“After that we were able to make other investments, that grew on their own. And then the statute of secrecy was created, and the Malfoys became one of the most powerful families in the Wizarding World. We don’t have to pay taxes on the land because the muggles don’t know it exists, it’s all unplottable. We’re given expensive gifts by people wanting our favor. Cinna was a gift from the Minister. Fudge bought him to celebrate my making the quidditch team and had him broken so that he would be ready when I returned from school.” Violet tried to understand the Minister of Magic gifting such a beautiful horse to a 13-year-old. “He asked if I like the broom and I said I prefer a horse.” Draco answered her puzzled look. “The Malfoy’s are worth about 115 billion Galleons.” Violet wasn’t sure what the exact exchange rate was, but she knew it was about 6 Galleons to a dollar.

She was starting to feel better about the gifts he had given her over the years. “That’s just so weird.” Violet really didn’t know what else to say. “You know I don’t care about all that, though. Right?”

Draco smiled, “I don’t think you had any idea before this weekend.”

“I remember something about Peacocks. I haven’t seen those though.” Their first conversation in the room of requirement came back to her suddenly. Draco laughed and brushed a loose strand of hair from her ponytail behind her ear.

“I gave them to a muggle nature reserve, I told you I hated them.” He was smiling gently at her, his hand lingering on the side of her face. Most people wouldn’t know it, he smiles so rarely, but Violet thought it was the most beautiful smile in the world. “Let’s go, if we follow the stream we’ll come to the stables, we can walk back to the manor from there.” Violet and Draco set off along the trail that followed the stream and eventually came to the stables. Draco helped Violet down from the saddle and she realized how sore she was. Posting through the trot had left her quads and glutes aching, and her abdominal muscles were sore. Her back, thighs, and calves were sore from trying to keep Lucy in hand and keep her posture in the saddle. She was also sure that her butt and legs would be covered in bruises from bouncing in the saddle.

[margueritestjust-a]

1-5 !

Questions for Canons | Not Accepting!

1. What is the biggest headcanon deviation from the canon material that you have incorporated into the way you write your muse? Why did you come up with it?

I don’t know if it’s a headcanon deviation from the source, or if it’s merely the way I interpreted Marguerite’s character, but I believe that A) she was always in love with Percy, even when she was acting snarky about him and B) she wasn’t “testing” Percy’s love for her by not telling him the truth about St. Cyr - she was overcome with emotion and claims that it was a “test” to save face. In fact, I believe a lot of Marguerite’s actions that audiences use to vilify her are about saving face when overcome with emotions that she doesn’t know how to process. Let’s start with the snark towards Percy. 

The book starts after the honeymoon phase is over for the Blakeneys - literally months into their marriage. Despite being the most fashionable couple in London, you couldn’t find a stranger match. We have Marguerite who is clever and charming and talented and Percy... whose chief talents seem to be superfluous commentary, bad poetry, and a laugh with the power to irritate everyone in a two mile vicinity. Why on earth would the intelligent, charming, beautiful Marguerite St. Just marry this guy? In the book, she confides in her brother, Armand, that she’s sure people think she did it for the money, but that she really, truly loved Percy for his passionate nature. And that, after she told him about the St. Cyrs, that passion dried up and that she’s left with this buffoon of a husband who does not love her and who is not the man she loved in Paris. It is, however, clear to me that prior to their argument, Marguerite loved Percy a great deal - and perhaps continues to wistfully love him (or the memory of him) and that his change in behavior baffles her. Armand, being the reasonable, level-headed (lmao) big brother he is, gives Marguerite Actually Solid Advice that basically goes, “Well, maybe if you told him the whole truth about the St. Cyrs, you two would be okay!” and Marguerite is like, “He wouldn’t listen to me about it now; it’s too late. I messed up and I just have to deal.” And her way of dealing is by making sarcastic jibes at her husband to get him to pay attention to her because otherwise, he’s much more into his fatuous, foppish friends than her. It’s the only time Percy pays attention to Marguerite (as far as Marguerite knows) and it lets her get out some of her hurt and frustration. 

Fast forward to when she tells him “I betrayed St. Cyr at the tribunal because I thought he was just going to be punished for trying to murder my brother but APPARENTLY we just guillotine entire families these days in France for one man’s crime and now I have the blood of an entire family on my soul and have been living with the guilt since.” And Percy is like, “Babe, why didn’t you tell me?” and Marguerite - who told her brother pages and pages ago that she didn’t think Percy would believe her, that she was afraid of losing him and lost him anyways, goes, “... I wanted to test your love for me.” 

What.

The conversation gets EVEN WEIRDER because Percy is like “Well, I wanted you to keep explaining yourself and you didn’t” and Marguerite is like, “I just wanted you to ask me to elaborate” and it goes on for a bit and you’re sitting there as a reader trying to reconcile Marguerite-talking-to-Armand and Marguerite-talking-to-Percy. It’s a nightmare tbh because there’s so much inconsistency. So here’s what we have to bear in mind: A) Armand is the man who raised Marguerite, her brother and dearest confidant. He has never betrayed her trust and vice versa. B) Marguerite and Percy have marital issues like woah and at this moment in time, she’s justifying herself to her husband - while worried that she will lose what little of his love for her remains. (Surprise: there’s a whole lotta love there and she doesn’t lose any of it. She probably gains some because he has a SUPER EMOTIONAL moment in the garden once she’s gone to bed where he kisses all the places she’s walked and like Percy find your chill). 

So here’s what I think - and it may be a deviation from canon, it may not be, it’s so unclear that I just roll with it and smile. I think that Marguerite loves Percy but when she tells him “Hey, so I accidentally got an entire family murdered” she freaks out internally and shuts down because How do you explain that? Omg my husband is going to hate me - see look he hates me!  and then, by the time she’s recovered from her internal panic attack, she convinces herself that it’s too late to make things right with Percy. Doesn’t help that now Percy has chosen to freeze her out because of what she told him and has nothing else to go on. So, what’s she do? Lash out. When she’s finally forced to tell him the truth and he asks why she didn’t just tell him, she doesn’t want to admit weakness - she already looks so weak and emotional and vulnerable - so she says, “I was testing you.” As if it was some kind of intentional maneuver on her part. And with most guys, this would shame them because they failed the test. But Percy is smarter than that and he calls her bluff with “I was just waiting for an explanation.” And HERE IS MARGUERITE’S GOLDEN CHANCE to tell him how scared and repentant and guilty she’s felt but instead she continues to save face as much as she can. 

Yes, she’s still prideful. Yes, this pride still leads to miscommunication. But, no, she is not some unfeeling bitch. I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Meet me in the pit. 

2. Do you have any controversial headcanons that go against what is generally accepted by the fandom? Do you incorporate this into writing your muse or keep it to yourself?

Umm... I guess one HC that I have - which is actually canon, not headcanon - is that Marguerite was never a prostitute. I’ve been seeing a lot of things in the tags that indicate people believe otherwise even though there is no canon indication that Marguerite was ever a prostitute (she was the leading actress of the Comedie Francaise and her family was bourgeois). The thing that most frustrates me about this headcanon is that people who hold it tend to A) slut-shame Marguerite (and/or all prostitutes and sex workers) and/or B) hold Percy up as a paragon of virtue for not slut-shaming his wife? Like, guys. That is literally doing the minimum as your job as a husband (and as a human being). It’s not heroic and it’s definitely not more heroic than saving innocent people from the guillotine. 

Anyways, my adherence to canon crops up plenty in threads, but it’s not something I’m like... making a point of showcasing? It’s just the facts where my muse is concerned. 

3. What is something that was never addressed at all in the canon material that you have independently developed for your muse?

Canon - as far as I know - never addresses the St. Justs’ social status prior to their parents’ death. We just know there’s an eight year age gap between Armand and Marguerite, that their parents died when Armand was “a youth” and Marguerite was “a child” and Marguerite raised her, and that they aren’t nobility, but they’re doing well enough to be respected by all walks of society. Soooo... I’ve had to elaborate. 

I’ve HC’d that the St. Justs were upper-middle class business owners - perhaps Moniseur St. Just was a merchant - whose work brought them into contact with the nobility as well as common people and whose profit was enough to send both Armand and Marguerite to school. Furthermore, when their parents died, Armand and Marguerite would be left with a sizable inheritance and a business... which they could sell or run. It just makes sense to me.

As with the prostitution HC that’s so popular in the fandom, there’s a notion that Armand and Marguerite were born and raised in the gutter, which has no canonical basis and doesn’t really make sense with either of their characterizations. So... yeah. I had to develop that on my own.

4. Have you made any outright changes to the canon material in order to write your muse the way you wanted (entire scenes you chose to omit, chapters you say never existed, things you assume were never said, etc.)?

Probably, but I can’t think of any specifics. 

5. What is an aspect of your muse’s canon material or canon existence that you never had the opportunity to explore but really want to?

Marguerite’s relationships with other canon characters, Percy aside. We’re talking Armand, Chauvelin, Suzanne, Ffoulkes, Dewhurst, the whole damn League. It’s a little hard to do since... like... the fandom is a ghost town, but I’d love to explore some of these relationships somehow.