#I never even connected these dots until all the posts flooded the N tag and it’s making me insane in the best way

[jaredthebc]

God just the fact N doesn’t heal from his trauma in a linear way and if anything is self destructive in the way he handles it especially in BW2 staying in the room that is basically the physical representation of his trauma (AND technically repeating his trauma just self inflicted instead of from an abusive father) makes me insane.

Like normally kids media would traumatize a character and then after like one or two events go “They’re doing much better now and making strives in recovery!” And just depict it as either a non issue now that it’s been “addressed” or at most show them going to therapy or something. But no Pokémon has the balls to go “Yeah you’re not mentally recovering from this stuff that easily, if anything you seek comfort from the things that hurt you and you very much will inflict that pain on yourself again for the sake of stability and normalization”

Like him staying in his room indefinitely in BW2 is most likely just a mechanic so you can rematch him and talk to him and obviously the story isn’t endless so at some point he has to run out of things to do (Kinda like how Cheren in BW1 is in that cave indefinitely after the story) but the fact he says he’s in the castle to wait for the protagonist, SPECIFICALLY HIS ROOM. Like damn Pokémon you really have the balls to make N basically inflict mental self harm on himself like that it really is just an emotional gut punch

[minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong]

The Parting Chapter Eleven

Description: The only certainty in life is death, and it seems to follow Park Jimin. All his life, the icy shadow of death has hung closely by his side, along with the shadow of…something else. Reapers exist to guide the souls of the living to the world beyond. But what happens when a particular Reaper tampers with the natural order and saves a mortal boy’s life? What will they do once their fates become inextricably linked?

Genre: Supernatural, Drama, Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Jimin x (f) OC

Word Count: 8.6k

Tags: Flower Shop Owner!Jimin, Reaper!OC, Non-Idol!AU, Cop!Yoongi, Supernatural!AU

Warnings: Death, swearing and mentions of alcohol, although infrequently

A/N: Hello! This story is pretty quickly wrapping up! Only a few things left to be seen/answered. I hope you guys have enjoyed the ride as much as I have! And I’m already planning for my next fic, which will be VERY reliant upon your interaction! Your choices will directly affect the story. Anyway, I’ll post more information about that once we get to the last chapter of this story. As always, I will respond to all asks received within a day of receiving them, so feel free and feel comfortable sending me anything! And please send feedback, criticism, comments or concerns my way so I can address them.

DISCLAIMER!!! Although I have researched quite a lot about Korean culture, I am taking a fictitious approach to its history. While I am trying to be historically accurate, there are sure to be details that I mess up! Please know that I have no poor intentions! DISCLAIMER!!!

AHH! And I started a Ko-Fi account! PLEASE do NOT feel pressured to donate if you don’t have the money or just don’t want to! There’s no expectation or obligation, but anything is appreciated. Love you guys! https://ko-fi.com/mercurywriter

- Mercury

Previous Chapter – Next Chapter

Chapter One

Masterlist

Weekly updates: Sunday, 1PM (PST)

Hoseok sat on an old rope swing, swaying gently along with the branches overhead. I stood beside him, leaning against the rough side of a tree with my eyes on the underbrush below our feet. Neither of us said anything for a while. After we’d seen each other, Hoseok had quickly righted himself and jerked his head towards the exit. I’d followed, throwing apologies over my shoulder at Seonhwa as I rushed after her son. She called after us, but after a few moments she simply shrugged and hopped back over the desk to rest with the pharmaceuticals.

It had been five minutes of silence between me and the nurse.

“Hoseok-,”

“Hold on,” he said, shaking his head as he gripped the rope swing with both hands. “I need to think about how to word this.”

I sighed and laced my fingers in front of me. “Please take your time,” I said. I was still avoiding going back to Jimin for the time being.

He glanced up at me from below and shook his head, staring at me properly as he blinked and said nothing for a while. “It’s just crazy,” he said.

I raised my brows. “What is?”

“All of this,” he said.

“Be specific.”

He sighed. “At first…I guess I was kinda suspicious of you because you can see…those things.”

I thought a moment. Could he possibly mean…? “Reapers?” I asked.

His eyes went wide. “They have a name?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, then sighed. “I’m rather stunned that you can see them too.”

He shrugged and watched his feet as they traced circles into the dirt below. “Every few generations, someone in the family gets the…gene or whatever. It’s always been the women until I was born.”

I stared at the ground. “I…I believe I used to be the same. In the past.”

He cocked a brow. “Which past?” he asked.

I stiffened. “Hoseok, what do you know about me?” I asked.

He sighed and stood up, standing in front of me properly. “My mom and my grandma used to tell stories about the family heritage. Apparently, we come from a line of shamans.”

My eyes widened. So my theories were correct. These people…were my descendants. “Y-You do?”

“The earliest Kwon was named Seonhwa. She lived a really successful life actually. She practiced herbal medicine in the common class, but she wasn’t a shaman. Her grandmother was, and so was her sister…,” he paused to glance at me. “Her sister Nari.”

I shook my head and raked my fingers through my hair. “So she grew up well…,” I breathed, relief flooding through me. “She lived well. Children too…”

Hoseok chuckled. “So you really are her then? You’re…that Nari?” he asked.

I met his dark eyes, scanning them for a long moment, and reluctantly nodded my head. “I believe I am.”

He smiled and chuckled, reaching a hand out to me. “It’s nice to officially meet you,” he said, shaking my hand gently.

“You seem very unfazed by all of this,” I said.

He shrugged. “Once Dad told us that you took a temporary name, I kinda put it all together. The fact that you can see those shadows, the fact that you look like Mom and Jisoo…I don’t know, it made sense,” he said.

I chuckled. “What an odd life you must live if something like that makes any sense to you.”

He laughed and shrugged, his expression softer and kinder somehow, less hostile and distrusting than before. “Weird shit has always happened to me. Hell, this town,” he said with a laugh. “Anyway, I just got a weird vibe from you since the start. And the fact that you could talk to the shadows-,”

“Wait, how did you know that?” I asked.

He raised his brows. “That day at the hospital when Jimin found you in the hallway. I was following that shadow after it left a room and heard your voice,” he said.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I groaned.

He scoffed. “And risk you thinking I was a crazy person? No thanks,” he said. “What if my hypothesis was wrong? I’m a nurse. I value the scientific method.”

I rolled my eyes. “Anyway…I guess I’m your aunt now?” I asked, furrowing my brow. “That seems wrong.”

He laughed and nodded. “Yeah, well…” His expression shifted as if he remembered something suddenly and he turned to me, arms crossed and eyes wide. “There’s something I’m curious about though. Aunt Nari…she died really young.”

My stomach dropped. Another early death. Just what had happened to Jimin and me all those lifetimes ago? “How young…?”

“It’s hard to say since it’s just a family story, but…twenty-one or so,” he said. “It just seems strange that you’d come to this town as the same age she died at.”

I shook my head. “I…I didn’t come here, Hoseok,” I said softly.

His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t explain it but…just know that I was sincere when I said I didn’t remember a life before waking up on the street,” I said.

His eyes went dark as he scanned me. “Nari, you’re confusing me,” he said, tone serious.

I shook my head. “That’s all I can say. Hoseok, my life began two weeks ago,” I said.

Hoseok watched me with confusion in his eyes and his jaw clenched before a sigh escaped him and he nodded. “As long as it’s not, like, time travel or something I’ll accept it.”

I laughed, feeling the mood shift towards something more comfortable and playful and nodded my head. “I am certain that’s not it.” I sighed and ran my hands over my thighs. “But…do you know how that Nari died?” I asked.

He pursed his lips. “Mom said that Grandma Seonhwa didn’t like talking about it. Seems it was a pretty big wound for the family,” he said, then peered around as if looking for spies. He leaned close. “But I have a theory.”

I raised my brows. “You do?” I asked, grabbing his arm. “What is it?”

He glanced at my fingers before prying them off of his skin. He sighed. “Whenever the family keeps something secret, it has to do with all that shaman business,” he said quietly. “It’s not something the family likes to be associated with. Ever since Grandma Seonhwa started doing herbal medicine, nobody in the family worked as shamans.”

My eyes widened. “Even though they were born with that…gift?” I asked.

He nodded. “I’ve always been suspicious. Like, why do we talk to death about all of the other relatives, but we never learn about Aunt Nari and what she did? Why she died? It’s suspicious.”

“So you think…something paranormal happened to her-er, to me?” I asked, shaking my head.

He gave me a heavy, grim look and nodded once. “I think so.”

If Jimin died at twenty-three, and I died at twenty-one then we died around the same time. Coincidences like that didn’t just…happen. I’d lost all faith in coincidence. It had to be connected. Slowly, the dots of my past life began to emerge, their hazy connections taking shape as I uncovered more information.

But there was still something nagging at me.

How did Jimin die?

At the end of the week, I made a trip to the library. Jimin and I had grown distant, with neither of us speaking much and no more shy glances. It seemed I’d really hurt him. My heart ached, but it was for his own good. I was never meant to be a permanent fixture in his life. He’d gotten too close too rapidly. The fact alone that he didn’t care about what I was said enough. He was deluded by feelings he shouldn’t have for me. And despite my own curiosities about my background and the life I lived before, I didn’t need to entangle Jimin any further. It seemed I couldn’t keep my promise to him that we’d figure things out together…

I sat at the same table we’d shared that day and watched the empty space where he would have sat with a tightening chest. I shook my head and grabbed the book of records, quickly locating Jimin’s name and trailing a finger down the page, searching for an obituary or even a cause of death. After a few seconds scanning the words, I found it.

Drowning…

I furrowed my brow and touched the word with the tip of my finger, shaking my head. How could he have drowned? I remembered that river and a shiver ran up my spine. I shut the book and slid it away, crossing my arms as I stared at the wobbly table before me, unable to understand exactly what it was that had happened between us.

“You’re researching the boy…,” said a voice from behind me.

I jumped and turned to find Zero standing with his back to me, eyes flitting over the shelves of books before him. I stood and rushed to his side, watching him as he gently lifted a hand to touch a book before sighing and glancing to the side, peering down at me.

“Zero…what are you doing here?” I asked, frantically looking around for any onlookers. “In public?”

He smiled slightly and returned to scanning the books. “We are the only souls in this library who don’t work here,” he said with a listless chuckle. “Quite a lot safer than that apartment.”

I stiffened and sighed. “Yes,” I said. “I was researching him.”

“Not the him from this lifetime, however,” he said, not even bothering to look at me.

I nodded. There was no use lying to him when he knew it all already. “Yes.”

“So you’ve remembered something?” he asked, looking at me with a smirk. “Just how much?”

“Zero…what do you know?” I asked.

He smiled, but it didn’t seem malicious. “I’m bound by contract not to tell you,” he said. “But it seems I may not have to.”

I stared up at him. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “Your memories are returning on their own. That, my friend, was not part of the contract,” he said, laughing slightly. “I almost can’t believe it.”

“So…my memories…they’re really mine?” I asked, voice timid, giving life to the silent fears and worries that had plagued me for weeks.

“That I cannot answer,” he said. “The only solution is to continue remembering.”

I shook my head. “But Zero, I have just over a week left before the deadline. How am I supposed to remember a lifetime?”

He sighed. “You must,” he said, finally turning to me and sending me a severe look. “If you don’t and time runs out, I must take matters into my own hands regarding the boy.”

“Can you do that?” I asked.

He nodded. “I can do many things,” he said, resting his Book on his hip. His expression soured. “If I am beckoned.”

“Beckoned…?”

He stared down at me and a soft smile touched his sharp features. “What I saw in you before is stronger now,” he said with a nod. “Remember your place.”

I exhaled in a long huff and shook my head. “I don’t understand what you mean! Stop speaking in riddles and tell me properly.”

He shook his head and reached out to give my shoulder an almost reassuring squeeze. “You have the answers, Nari.”

My eyes went wide. He called me by my name… Before I could respond, he was gone and I was left alone, staring at a shelf of books with my pulse thrumming. There was something barring Zero from speaking, some contract binding him to silence. But he said I had the answers…

All I had to do was remember.

“And that’s how Grandma Jisoo got away with insurance fraud,” said Hoseok with a sigh, leaning back on his palms as the two of us watched the advancing tide.

We’d spent the entire afternoon going over old family stories, hoping to stumble upon something useful. If Zero was convinced I had the answers, then that meant there might be a way to save both Jimin and Injung. If I could only find the right key, I could unlock the door to my third option.

But it seemed that key was rather elusive, since hours had passed and nothing had seemed relevant enough to remember. Although hearing about my descendants made me smile, I didn’t have the luxury of time to enjoy their stories. Hoseok and I sat on a checkered blanket on the sand, the sun seeping into my skin as I sighed and rested my chin on my knees. What in the world was I supposed to do when my only insight came from dreams I could neither control nor summon?

“Hoseok!” called a female voice from behind us.

The two of us turned to the source and saw Jisoo — not Grandma Jisoo who successfully committed fraud, but the living one — rushing down the beach towards us. As she approached, she rested her hands on her knees and caught her breath. She sent Hoseok a sharp look before turning to me with a smile.

“Hi, Nari!” she said, voice singsongy.

I chuckled and flitted my fingers. “Nice to see you, Jisoo.”

She wore her casual clothes which, much like mine, seemed slightly too big for her. And in her hair was a striking little pin. The pin she’d toted the other day, the lily pin. A vision flashed before my eyes to the pin I’d worn in my own hair in my dreams. I furrowed my brow. Hadn’t that been mine from the start? How could they be the same when she’d received it as a gift from Yeoreum?

I shifted away from Hoseok to make room for Jisoo on the blanket and she sat with a grin. “What’re you doing down here? Aren’t you helping Mom today?” asked Hoseok.

Jisoo tossed him a glare before returning her attention to me. “She wanted me to tell you we’re ordering takeout and you have to go get it.”

I glanced to Hoseok. There was still so much we needed to go over. Hoseok shrugged his shoulders and stood up, dusting off the backs of his legs with a sigh. “We can talk more later, Nari,” he said with a wave.

I moved to follow him, but quickly remembered Jisoo and settled back down. “You look kinda pale,” she remarked, scanning my features. “Paler than usual.”

I nodded. “I’m not doing very well.”

She pouted. “Is it something I can help with?” she asked.

I smiled and gave the top of her hand a pat. “I don’t think so,” I said. Hoseok had agreed it was best not to tell Jisoo or Seonhwa about my past life, given how the family reacted to anything occult. So I simple smiled. “That pin really suits you,” I said.

She touched it with a grin and nodded. “I think so too.”

“And it was a gift? From Yeoreum?” I asked, my tone edgy. “You mentioned he bought it.”

She shrugged. “I dunno where he got it. I kinda just assumed he bought it, but the more I look at it the more it seems like…really old.”

I stiffened. It did seem rather antiquated. “I see…”

“Mom told me a cool story when I first got it about one of our ancestors,” she said. “The one Mom is named after.”

I nodded. “Hoseok has been telling me some of your family’s stories. It’s very interesting,” I said, to which her dark eyes lit up.

She grinned. “Right? This story is my favorite I think. She’s told parts of it before, but she never told me this part,” she said with a nod. “When Grandma Seonhwa moved to this town, she met with a super rich family. Like, one of the richest ones in the area.”

I raised my brows. Such an industrious girl was meeting with nobles? “How did she know them?”

Jisoo shook her head and glanced out to the water. “We don’t know. She never talked about it.”

“Huh…” Another thing they didn’t talk about…I could only theorize that it had to do with me somehow.

“Anyway, the youngest son was her age and he really liked her,” she said with a laugh. “Every day he would send her gifts and try to get her attention, but she never responded to him.”

I chuckled. That, I could picture. The young, plucky girl with her messy hair and dirt-stained hands. Of course she would reject the advances of someone like that. “Charming.”

She shook her head. “Anyway, I guess he kept trying to give her this one lily hairpin and she kept saying no. I dunno why, but I guess that gift really ticked her off and she finally told him outright to stop,” she said, then laughed. “Which only made him like her more. I guess he only gave up when she got married to someone else.”

“How persistent,” I said, but my mind had begun churning. If that lily pin really was mine, and it did look horribly similar, then what did that say about the youngest son? A cold chill ran through me as an inkling of an idea took form in my mind. “Tell me, Jisoo. Do you know if this man had siblings?”

She nodded. “Two older brothers.”

I stiffened and stared at her profile with wide eyes. “And what was their family name?”

She pursed her lips, then snapped her fingers. “It’s Park!” she said with a grin. “Just like Jimin. I actually thought it was pretty funny when Jimin told me his family name the first day we met, since it was the same as that rich family.”

I felt my stomach flip and my hands grip the blanket tightly. Yeoreum was related to Jimin’s past. He had to be. After Seonhwa rejected that pin, that youngest son must have held onto it. And if Seonhwa was at marrying age, then I was already dead. She likely cast it away so vehemently because it had once belonged to me. I shook my head. Just how connected was everything in this town?

“Just how long will you continue watching me?” I asked, washing the linens with downcast eyes as the river rushed over my fingers.

Jimin cleared his throat and came to sit beside me, footfalls soft on the leaves and underbrush. He adjusted his hanbok and crouched on the balls of his feet, watching me as I tended to the laundry.

“Hello…,” he said softly.

I nodded my head, but didn’t look at him. For months, the boy had been relentless in his approaches toward me, leaving me no choice but to ignore him.  While I was mixing herbs for his older brother’s rash, he was watching in the doorway like a specter. The day I’d spent teaching his younger brother calligraphy, the boy had lingered just outside in the garden, listening in. Time passed this way, almost too quickly for me to notice, and without even realizing I’d become comfortable with this place and with that strange second son. But the more persistent he was, the weaker my will became. I simply was no match for his stubbornness.

“Is there something you wish to discuss?” I asked. I’d grown bolder during my time with the Parks, and I seldom held my tongue around the sons.

Jimin cleared his throat and wrung his hands. “Well…it’s a bit strange, but…uh…hm…”

I finally glanced at him and saw in his cherubic cheeks was a pinkish blush, blooming all across his fair skin. I raised my brows. “Yes?”

He sighed and ruffled his hair, frustrated, before he turned to me and took my hands. I jumped, desperate to avoid his touch and the unpleasant consequences of it, but his grip was tight and his eyes were pleading. Slowly, I stilled and watched him with cautiously narrowed gaze.

“Nari, will you accompany me to the festival tonight?” he asked.

I tilted my head to the side. “Festival?” I asked.

He nodded, brows knitted. “I would really love it if you could,” he said, then his eyes went wide. “If you can spare the time of course!”

Why then did my heart race? I glanced down at my chest, ordering my fickle heart to settle down, before I met his eyes once more. “Is that appropriate? For someone like me to accompany you?”

He furrowed his brow. “Appropriate?” he asked, seemingly baffled. “What does that matter? I want to go with you.”

“And because you want it, is it so?” I asked, sighing as I gathered the washing and placed it carefully in my basket. “This is the critical difference between you and me. You, Park Jimin, request and receive. Have you known rejection?”

He stood up and stared down at me with cheeks flaming. “Yes!” he exclaimed, pointing at me wildly. “I experience it every day with you!”

I scoffed and rested my basket on my hip. “And just what do you mean?”

“I come to you all day and all day you make yourself scarce to me,” he said, pouting slightly and crossing his arms over his chest. “Would you like to know what I think our critical difference is?”

I nodded and offered a grin. “I would love to know.”

He squinted at me before glancing away, still pouting. “I see things that I desire and I reach for them,” he said, then smirked slyly. “I am not a coward.”

My chest puffed and I gaped at him, unable to manage my expression. “A coward?!” I shouted, wagging a finger at his chest. “My apologies, Young Master, but those of us who serve others have not the liberty to be brave!”

He stuck his tongue out at me and shrugged. “I am hearing many excuses from you today, Nari.” He took a step toward me. “It seems to me that you are simply finding ways to avoid me because you are afraid you may fall for me.”

I gaped. “Park Jimin, in what reality would that be the case?” I asked.

He chuckled, confidence now inhabiting his form as he leaned away. “If you’re unafraid, then come with me tonight.”

I laughed and nodded. “Fine,” I said, holding out my free hand for him to shake. “But expect no falling from me.”

He grinned and grabbed my hand, shaking it firmly. “We shall see.”

Why then did I tend to my appearance so carefully that night? I sighed at my reflection, touching my lily pin gently with my fingertip. If Seonhwa could have seen me then, gracefully made and pristinely dressed, she would have laughed. But something about that boy made me frustrated, agitated. He made me competitive and ornery. A spoiled young aristocrat, born into wealth and power, taking a shine to someone like me? It was comical. The plot to a lackluster theater performance.

Nonetheless, I made sure not a hair was set out of place.

When I entered the garden to meet him, Jimin was wringing his hands and staring at the ground. He seemed to be regulating his breathing and I wondered briefly if perhaps he was nervous. I quickly banished the thought with a dismissive shake of my head and approached him, mindful to maintain a stoicism that his charm couldn’t penetrate.

But as he turned to me with a smile, my heart leapt and I had to glance away from his flushed face and his shy grin to keep from feeling something troubling. The two of us walked together along the path from the estate which led into the town center. Jimin and I made quiet conversation, although to call it conversation was slightly overstating. Jimin indeed did most of the talking. But I didn’t find it unpleasant. In fact, his anecdotes and jesting tales made me laugh.

“Ah, Nari!” he called, pointing to a stall serving nuts to crack in the teeth. The harvest ceremony had already ended and evening was descending, lanterns lightening the paths which all the townspeople traversed with smiles. “Would you like to try?”

I stiffened and rushed toward him. “I cannot afford it-,”

He gave me a look which silenced me and shook his head. “I asked if you would like to try, not if you had money.”

I blinked and glanced back toward the stall. “I…suppose,” I said quietly.

He smiled gently, the yellow light from the lanterns reflecting in his eyes, and I wondered if perhaps he had been right. Perhaps I really had been afraid… “Let’s go then,” he said, taking my hand and leading me toward the stall.

We each pressed the nuts between our back teeth and bit down hard. It ached my jaw, but watching Jimin laugh and giggle as the crumbs fell from his lips kept my complaints from being aired. I simply watched him with a fond smile as he cracked a few more, joking that his teeth would surely be the strongest in the town if he kept going.

After a while, Jimin led the way to the beach. Many of the townsfolk dared not descend that far from the festivities, choosing instead to deviate in groups and climb cliffs to catch a glimpse of the first full moon. Jimin and I stood together, watching the sky as it turned vibrant orange and red, neither of us saying much of anything. Twilight was encroaching on the horizon, and I watched the sky carefully.

“You must like the night sky,” I remarked, thinking privately.

He glanced at me, bathed in sunset light, and smiled. “Hm?”

I felt my face go red and cleared my throat. “Well…considering your father’s occupation.”

He nodded with a sigh. “Father thinks the sky has the answers, but…I think he troubles himself too much with fate. If it is indeed inescapable, then why assume the burden of monitoring it?” he asked.

I thought a moment. His father had said that he was very worried for his second son. For Jimin. I turned to him slightly. “What do you think?” I asked.

He glanced at me with only his eyes before a small smile touched his lips. “I think…life is a very fleeting blessing. I wish to live each day with that in mind.”

I opened my mouth to remind him that not everyone could live that way, but stopped myself. The air between us was somber, vulnerable. For reasons I didn’t fully understand, I wanted to protect that. “Is that why you were so persistent towards me?” I asked.

He swallowed harshly and coughed a little, clasping his hands behind his back and turning to walk down the beach. I quickly followed, taking up a spot by his side, and examined his expression. “That is…part of the reason, yes.”

“And the other part?” I asked.

His eyes slid towards me. “The other part is…because…,” he started, then cringed slightly and shook his head. “Forget me. I’m rambling.”

“I was the one who asked,” I said, scanning him.

He flushed and looked away, his strides long and slow and easy. “Well…the other part is because you are…very different from anyone else I’ve met.”

“Is that a compliment?” I asked, emboldened by the sunset and the warm atmosphere between us.

He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “You are awfully direct,” he said, then sighed and faced me. “It is a very, very good thing.” I looked away, chagrined, and listened to his endearing laugh. “When you spend all your life with people who wish to exploit you and your family…it is refreshing to meet someone sincere. Someone with a moral compass and too much pride.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, eyes wide.

He laughed and shook his head. “I really enjoy you.”

My breath hitched and I avoided his eyes once more. What sort of feeling was this? Had he always been so kind? The Park Jimin I’d known since coming to his home had been a petty troublemaker, a mischievous boy with a penchant for disturbing me. He’d frustrated me and charmed me in equal measures.

But this evening…he seemed different.

And my heart behaved differently in turn.

“I…suppose your company is not entirely bothersome,” I said, my tone begrudging as I avoided his imploring gaze.

He laughed. “Please repeat that.”

I shook my head. “I do not repeat myself for nobles.”

Jimin’s laugh echoed through the beach, now drenched in the purple hues of twilight. “I am glad to know you regard me more kindly now,” he said, voice as gentle as a cresting wave. “I’ve always regarded you that way.”

My stomach fluttered slightly and I nearly groaned in frustration. How could I have these budding emotions for someone like him? After all these years caring only for my family, I’d never once considered my romantic life. Marriage, children…they all seemed lofty goals compared to daily survival. But this aristocrat was stirring my heart about carelessly.

“Say,” he began, taking wide, sweeping steps forward. “How did you learn medicine?”

I pursed my lips. “It was out of necessity. My family…we are not the kind of people who can receive aid in any way. This includes medical treatment,” I said with a sigh.

He raised his brows and stared down at me. “Truly?”

I nodded. “Many people live this way,” I said.

He furrowed his brow. “They shouldn’t.”

With a smile, I chanced a glance his way and noticed his jaw set staunchly and his eyes narrowed. I chuckled. “Righteous outrage?” I asked.

“I never knew people really lived that way,” he said, shaking his head. “If I take after my father, I’ll see to it that the king affords basic human dignity to even the lowest class.”

I smiled. “I hope you can do it,” I said.

He peeked down at me and as our eyes met, his cheeks grew pink and he cleared his throat. “H-How do you know my father then? If you cannot approach him.”

“My father is…a very trusted physician,” I said with a nod, although the words felt like acid. “He works with your father often.”

His eyes went wide. “If your father is a physician, then your class equals mine,” he said.

I smiled at my feet as they flattened the sand beneath them. “If I were conceived legitimately, certainly.” He paused and his steps slowed to a stop. I turned to face him and met his eyes, something burning in my chest. “Does your favor end here? Has your opinion of me changed?”

He furrowed his brow and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you think I’m such a spineless man?”

I blinked at him. “No, your reaction is simply-,”

“I’m upset,” he said. “It upsets me that you’ve had to live so poorly for nothing more than a birthright. What kind of society allows this?” he asked.

My heart pounded. I’d never imagined holding counsel with an aristocrat over such issues, and even stranger still was that our opinions aligned. I took a step toward him and crossed my own arms. “Does it truly upset you?”

He nodded. “Of course! What great wrong have you committed to live this way? And your poor mother!”

A small smile stretched across my face. “Poor indeed,” I said, tilting my head to the side as he watched the beach over my shoulder, stewing in frustration. “Father stayed with us even after my sister was born, saying he would cast away his title and raise us from poverty with the strength of his hands alone.”

Jimin’s eyes went wide. “A sister too!” he scoffed. “What a horrible man.”

“A liar too,” I said with a full-fledged grin. “He left even after promising so much. A man is only worth the value of his word, don’t you think?”

“A man’s word is his bond!” exclaimed Jimin, brows set low and face red all over from anger.

I took another small step closer, watching the spectrum of emotions on his face. “My grandmother too now must work,” I said. “Isn’t that too cruel? My elderly grandmother working as a shaman?”

“Deplorable!”

“And my sister catches fish!”

“A little girl!”

“And I work for a rich family, separated from my own!” I shouted, smiling.

At this, his outraged waned and he looked down at me with eyes reflecting the ocean, lips parted. “Why…why does your expression seem so joyful while recounting such awful things?”

I laughed and, gently, pressed my index finger between his eyebrows where the skin was creased with worry. His eyes grew round. “It is the first time I’ve commiserated with someone.” I retracted my hand and smiled at the ground. “How strange. Watching you assume my woes has made me smile.”

“Then I’ll do it forever!”

I looked up at him, at the earnestness in his wide eyes, and couldn't help but laugh. “Truly?”

“Of course! If it brings you joy…anything,” he said softly, voice petering out at the end as he turned his eyes to the ocean and the sky. “Ah! It’s the moon!” he called, pointing toward the sky with a grin.

I followed his finger and noticed that indeed, a ghost of the moon was appearing amongst the lilac clouds. I laughed. “Incredible!” I looked toward the boy and found him smiling brightly at the sky, neck craned and eyes locked on the heavens. I smiled despite myself. “Do you know the old superstition? That the first person to glimpse the first full moon of the lunar new year is granted one wish?”

He turned to me and smiled. “Is that so?”

I nodded. “You must wish quickly. Someone else may be looking at that moon as well,” I said, nudging his shoulder toward the shoreline.

He stiffened and nodded, squeezing his eyes shut and clasping his hands in front of his chest. “I wish…I wish to live a long and happy life with the people I care for, and to make the world better for those people with that life.”

I watched him profess his sincerest wish and felt a twinge of sadness in his voice. I scanned him, desperate to discern even a fraction of his thoughts from his expression. But all I saw was a yearning hope. Had I ever seen someone with such wholehearted, profound longing?

Why was he reaching for his wish with such wild, grasping hands?

He opened his eyes and offered me a smile which I couldn’t return. Instead, I simply watched him for a moment before sighing. “Why did you sound like a man about to die?” I asked.

He blinked and glanced away, rubbing the back of his head. “Do not trouble yourself on my account.”

“It is too late to advise me not to trouble myself. I am at present very troubled,” I said, walking to his side and scanning his profile, a bashful smile on his face. “If you refuse to tell me, perhaps I can write to your father.”

“No!” he shouted, turning to me with a fearful look. “He cannot know I am spending time off the estate.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

He sighed and settled on the sand, sitting on his backside and watching the waves. I joined him, still scanning his features. He ran his hands through his shaggy hair with a grimace. “I’ll tell you,” he said, then shook his head. “But once the night is over. I still wish to have fun.”

I sighed and nodded. “Fine,” I said, touching my own hair and grazing the pin with my fingertips. I watched Jimin’s face as his eyes drank in the scene of the ocean before him. Why did he look so lonesome? I removed the lily pin and held it in my palm, sighing softly. “This pin…was the only gift my father ever gave me.”

Jimin turned to me slightly, watching me. “A lily pin? For your name?”

I smiled at it, turning it over in my hands. “Yes. He said that for a name as lovely as mine, I should have a pin to match,” I said, smoothing my fingers over it. “Perhaps it seems silly to hold something that man gave me so dear, but…it is my most precious possession.”

“How many possessions do you have?” he asked, a teasing smile on his face.

I cast him a sharp glare. “Well now,” I said, huffing with a laugh. “Regardless, it is very important to me.”

“It’s beautiful.”

I was quiet a moment before taking his hand and placing it palm-up atop my knee. “I’d like you to have it,” I said as I placed the pin in his palm.

His eyes widened and he shook his head. “I couldn’t possibly-,”

I met his gaze with a soft smile. “As a thank you for this evening,” I began, “and as a reminder.” I watched his eyes flit over the pin. “You mentioned that you’d like to change the way things are, to fix them for people like me and my family. I want you to keep this pin and remember that promise.”

He stared at it, sitting daintily in his rough palm, and blinked. “Nari, I simply couldn’t-,”

“I am asking you to,” I said, then smiled. “And I am asking you to live a long, healthy life so you can do what you said you would.”

His eyes grew hazy and his fingers closed around the pin. He took it onto his lap and stared at it, nodding his head. “I will,” he said, then turned to me once more.

Slowly, he moved closer. I’d forgotten myself that night, neglecting my position and allowing myself to slip into the easy fantasy that the two of us were simply people. Perhaps friends even. But as his advanced, eyes shut, a brief panic ran through me. I had to run away. I had to save myself from the punishment of cavorting with someone so far above me. I had to save Jimin from the harsh reprimands of his father should anything happen between us.

But in the end, once his plush lips touched mine, I could do nothing but shut my eyes and lean into his touch. Frustration coursed through me, but so did something else. Something much deeper and warmer, skipping through my veins and setting my skin alight. The kiss was short, chaste, but intimate. He pulled back first and stared at me, face still inches from mine, breaths coming slightly shallow as he scanned me. His brows knitted and his eyes fell to the ground.

He took a steadying breath before looking at me again. “Nari…the reason I made that wish is because…,” he began, then stopped and shook his head, swallowing hard. “I am very, very sick.”

My eyes went wide and I backed away, watching him carefully as he ran his fingers through his hair. We’d shared but one kiss, one evening of joy and laughter, and yet this confession sent my heart aching. Why, after just one night, did I wish so deeply to protect this boy?

Morning light sifted through the curtains beside my bed and I watched it for a moment as my senses returned to me. I had awoken from my dreams not with a start, but with a stiffness in my chest. The dream had only confirmed my fears. The Jimin from my memory was nearing his demise. The more of my past memories returned, the closer I felt to this horrible itch in the back of my mind, ever-present and scraping, growing stronger and stronger. I was close to something, something important.

All I had to do was remember.

But I had less than a week left.

I padded out of my bedroom, scratching my head as I wandered towards the kitchen. But as I did, I noticed the refrigerator was open and standing before it was Jimin. He turned to me and opened his mouth as if to speak before, upon thinking a moment, shutting it with a sigh and shutting the refrigerator, maneuvering around me into the living room where he fell against the sofa.

While I tried to make myself accept the distance I’d forced between myself and Jimin, it still hurt to see him in the mornings, readying himself alone, eating alone, heading down to the shop alone. It was a far bigger wedge than a simple rejection. If I’d rejected him, perhaps he might have laughed it off and continued as normal. I’d placed a block between us that was forged of steel. My own unwillingness to allow him close to me, an impregnable wall keeping him from coming to me.

Things were fine before I’d known the depth of his feelings for me. I could convince myself he would surely hate me once I told him the truth about me, but still he stood beside me, steadfast as ever. I could force myself to believe he was only attached to me because I was available, because I was around so often. But he wanted to be with me. For real.

It was for his own good that I wouldn’t allow it.

“Will you pick up some purple ribbon from the store? I’m arranging a wedding bouquet and I don’t have enough,” he said.

Our words were scarce lately. I nodded. “Sure.”

He was quiet, the silence palpable as I stood with nothing to do in the kitchen. “Nari?” he asked, voice breaking slightly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. “Mhm?”

“Please don’t disappear,” he said softly.

I felt the tears welling in my eyes. How could he be so astute yet so oblivious? I turned toward the front door and dabbed my eyes. “I’ll get going now,” I said.

Jungkook helped me check out after I’d found the right ribbon, and the way he eyed me from above let me know he was worried. His brow was slightly lowered, his eyes scanning my features. I wanted to tell him it was fine, that I was fine, but I couldn’t bring myself to lie to him. Things were so messy and complicated, and my only saving grace was a faulty memory which only arrived in bursts while I slept.

I left the supermarket with one small bag in my hands and wandered through the streets of the town, the tall white-washed buildings I’d glided through before this whole mess began. The uneven pavement, the bright sky and the sun which bleached the bricks. Before I knew it, I was outside that bar. The one Jimin had gone to the night he’d almost died. It was odd to return to such an unsettling place. Just down the street was where I’d emerged as a human being, where I’d defied the laws of the universe for a single boy. I remembered the street slicked with rain and black as sin. I remembered the tingles in my new naked body as I struggled to understand what had happened. After three-hundred years of invisibility…

I sighed and continued walking, routing myself back towards the flower shop.

But as I rounded a corner, I heard a distinct voice. A deep, chesty voice that I recognized at once. Kim Taehyung. Quickly, I crept along the side of a building and inched into the backstreet, untouched by foot-traffic and the source of Taehyung’s voice. I followed it slowly, keeping to the shadows, and peeked around the corner of a decrepit building, catching sight of a red bandana and dark hair. It was him indeed.

“I’m not doing this,” he said, and from his voice alone I knew he was agitated.

I stiffened and peeked at my own discretion, keeping close to the exterior wall of the building so as not to be noticed. “I know. I don’t wanna do it either…,” said a second voice. I tried to place it.

“Then don’t,” he implored.

The second voice sighed. “It’s not that simple.”

Taehyung huffed and I heard a crash, likely the sound of him kicking something into the silent, empty street. “It is! Just leave him alone! Haven’t you done enough now?” he asked.

I shook my head. Surely, he couldn’t mean Jimin… “If I could stop I would, okay?” asked the second voice in a shout. It was so familiar, but impossible to assign to someone without seeing their face. It was too frantic to match the voices I knew. Perhaps if he calmed down…

“Whatever. You’re alone on this one. I had a bad feeling that first night that I shouldn’t have accepted your stupid deal,” spat Taehyung.

The second man sighed. “I should’ve told you the truth from the start. But listen, we’re in too deep now. If I get caught, so do you,” he said.

“What?! I’m not the one who tried to kill somebody! Your instructions were clear: invite Jimin out, get him drunk, text you when he leaves the bar,” said Taehyung. My heart raced. He was the one after all. But who was this man who had commissioned him?

“Do you really think they’ll let you off with a slap on the wrist?! You’re an accomplice to an attempted murder!” shouted the second man. The longer I listened, the more familiar his voice became. But it was still too hard to discern through the yelling.

“Like hell!” shouted Taehyung. “I’m out! Just…skip town or something. I don’t wanna see your face anymore.”

“Wait!”

“Getting involved with you was a fucking mistake!” he yelled.

The first man shouted into the air. “It’s one more night Taehyung! All I need you to do is make sure he goes to that stupid fair!” he called.

“Not a chance!”

“Jesus, do I really have to threaten you?” the man yelled.

The conversation was going nowhere and Taehyung’s voice was growing more and more distant. This was my chance. An opportunity to get a glimpse of the murderer with my own eyes. If I didn’t seize it, he would slip through my fingers once more. I didn’t have much time to unravel this mystery before it was too late. And if this man was planning to attack during the fair, I needed to know who to look out for.

Stealthily, I edged around the corner. I could only see his back, calling after Taehyung, but I could see some distinguishable features. Dark hair, long legs, black shirt. He was too far away. If I could just get a closer look…

“What was that?” asked Taehyung, whipping around to look in my direction. His eyes went round and horrified as he stared at me and I was rendered immobile in fear.

The culprit’s posture went rigid as he looked at Taehyung before, like a lightning bolt, he was sprinting down the street. “Stop!” I screamed, running after him.

Taehyung watched me as I whizzed past him before he too began running, but in the opposite direction. I wasn’t sure where he was going or what he would do, but as we passed one another, I noticed him reach into his pocket and grab his cell phone. Just like that night. I shook my head and kept running, pushing my body to its limit as I raced after the man’s rapidly retreating form as he became but a dot on the horizon, weaving through alleyways and between buildings.

I searched for the man for hours, the ribbon long forgotten, my breaths coming and going in wheezing gasps. But in the end, he was far faster than me. I’d been so foolish, chasing a man like that. I was desperate. There was nothing more I could do besides run and run. And as I ran, things became clearer and clearer. Taehyung had been contracted by this man to lure Jimin out. Taehyung seemed not to know the scope of what he was involved in, likely unaware that the end result would be murder. This man, this mastermind, seemed bound to his actions as well. As if there was something far larger than him pulling the strings.

Just like Jin had said. Perhaps this was much larger than a petty murder case…

I approached the flower shop with blisters on my heels and my hair a mess atop my head. My eyes never lifted as I walked past the front of the shop, but I noticed in the reflection of the glass that two police patrol cars were parked on the curb. I tilted my head and thought a moment. Why were they here?

Unless…

My heart raced and I shook my head in fear, hands trembling as I quickly ripped the door open. No, no, no. The murderer was surely not reckless enough to attack Jimin right after being spotted. Surely he had more sense than that. Surely, surely. I shook my head, rushing into the shop.

Breathlessly, I looked around and tears began collecting in my eyes. “Jimin!” I shouted, voice cracking from the strain. “Jimin! Jimin, are you okay?!” I cried.

Movement came from the back of the shop and my eyes darted madly towards it, jumping at the promise of Jimin’s safety. But who emerged left my chest deflated. Yoongi approached me slowly, sighing as he came close, and scanned my face, avoiding my eyes altogether.

“Where’s Jimin? Is he safe?” I asked, tears spilling.

Yoongi nodded. “He’s in the back talking to Namjoon.”

I sighed, relief rushing through my body, and nodded. “Thank God. I just saw the murderer. I chased him, but I lost him in town. He was talking to-,”

“You’re under arrest for suspicion of attempted murder.”

My blood ran cold and my words halted. “What?”

“You have the right to an attorney,” he said, staring into the middle ground beside me with an almost disinterested affect. “Anything you say can and will be held against you in the court of law-,”

“Yoongi-,”

“If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be assigned to you.”

“Yoongi, wait-,”

“Please come with me back to the station.”

“Yoongi!” I shouted, finally forcing him to look me in the eyes. When he did, I saw something there that startled me. Both regret and apprehension. He didn’t trust me… “Yoongi, you know I didn’t do it.”

He sighed and gripped the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know, Nari. That’s the problem.”

I shook my head. “I’d never hurt Jimin.”

“We received an incriminating testimony from someone who was at the bar that night,” he reported with a shake of his head. “He said you spoke to a man while Jimin was lying on the ground before removing your clothes and feigning unconsciousness.”

“I…I what?” I asked, shaking my head. “Yoongi, that is absolutely impossible.”

He shrugged. “It’s a reliable statement.”

I swallowed hard, peering over his shoulder towards the back of the store as Namjoon and Jimin emerged. Jimin’s face was red. It was clear he’d been crying, eyes swollen and cheeks puffy. He lifted his eyes to look at me and I tried with all my heart to understand what those eyes held for me. Contempt? Anger? Hatred?

All I could see was a broken boy, all alone.

“Was it Taehyung?” I asked quietly, piecing it all together.

Yoongi sighed. “I can’t disclose that.”

I nodded. “I understand.”

Wordlessly, he placed a hand between my shoulder blades and led me towards the front door, guiding me to his car. Before I exited the shop, I looked over my shoulder and met Jimin’s eyes. Hopelessly, I sniffled as tears trailed down my face. Suddenly, the ground was ripped out from under me. Everything I relied upon was taken in an instant, and I was left stumbling in the blackness of the infinite unknown alone.

I didn’t know if I would ever see him again.

So, loudly enough for him to hear, I nodded my head and said the only thing I knew was true. The only thing I could think to say. “I love you.”

[justsomebucky]

Ten Years (Part 9)

Summary: AU. When a major account is on the line at work, reader is forced to revisit some old connections at her ten year high school reunion for a chance at success. Will she let the past consume her, or will she see the future in her grasp?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,144 (minus the flashback)

Warnings: language!!, fluff, mentions of past cheating, confrontation, crying

A/N: Tags are closed. I wrote this so quickly because I got super motivated by all your messages. I think the angst is winding down. This is a turning point for reader, and I’m excited for her. Also, Bucky’s got a lotta ‘splainin’ to do!

Your solitude was short-lived.

“Hey, Y/N?”

You glanced up at the sound of Clint’s voice, trying in vain to wipe your makeup and tears away. Nothing you could do to hide the fact that you’d completely lost it in the hallway a little while ago. “Hey.”

His eyes were sad, but not filled with pity. “I, uh, brought your bag. Figured you might need it.”

Clint handed you the clutch you’d carelessly left on the table. Your phone, debit card, and hotel key were still all tucked safely inside.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

There was a few awkward seconds of silence, then you both tried to talk at the same time.

“Listen, I wanted you to know-“

“Don’t worry about Natasha, she’ll-“

You both chuckled awkwardly, and he motioned for you to go first.

“I just…I wanted you to know that I never meant for anything to get out of hand like it has tonight. I thought it would be a quick thing, and maybe as a bonus we could all make up. My coworker - not James, a girl named Wanda - told me that if I didn’t let this situation go, I’d carry these trust issues for the rest of my life.”

Clint nodded thoughtfully. “Your coworker was right, Y/N. You deserve to find happiness, and if that means letting the past go, then that’s what you have to do.”

You forced a small smile to your face for a brief second. “What were you going to say?”

“Don’t worry about Nat. She’s just a little emotional since we found out about the baby. She’d wanted to buy a house and get settled before any of this happened, but plans change, I guess. She’ll be okay.”

“I still want to talk to her sometime,” you confessed. “I don’t think it’ll ever be like it was, obviously, but I don’t like leaving knowing we’re all still angry.”

He shook his head. “Most of this is my fault anyway, Y/N. It’s not you, it’s not Natasha. I was the one in the wrong in the first place. I’m really, truly sorry for hurting you.”

This Clint was a much more mature version than the one you remembered. He was so unfamiliar to you now, and you knew that fact would help you let this all go.

“Thank you,” you whispered. “I’m sorry for the way everything went down.”

“Do you want me to walk you back to your hotel?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Go back to Nat. Can you tell Scott I said goodbye?”

“Sure. Take care of yourself, okay? I’ll make sure that Nat comes around sometime, I promise.”

“Bye, Clint.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

You turned away from Clint Barton and made your way outside without a single glance back.

---

The last thing you felt like doing was going back to your room to be sad and alone, so you changed direction and headed for the diner. If you only stayed a short while, just long enough to say your farewell to one of your favorite places back home, you could avoid the post-reunion crowd.

A seat at the counter was open, so you sat down and promptly ordered a sundae. Maybe a little chocolatey goodness could help you reason with yourself, and help you sort out your problems like it used to when you were younger. Then again, you always sat here with Nat to talk and share ice cream.

Your thoughts drifted back to how hurt and angry she’d seemed. Apparently, she’d gotten her hopes up for tonight, too. Her assessment of you was completely right, too; you never acted like this. You’d been against it from the beginning.  

The diner was basically empty, except for a few younger kids, probably with the drunken munchies, sitting in a booth by the window. The fluorescent lights seemed a little harsher tonight, but it was probably just your tequila hangover reacting poorly.

You used your spoon to swirl some of the chocolate around the dish. Your lack of appetite was making this even more depressing; it had to be bad when hot fudge sundaes were of little to no comfort.

Why were you letting yourself feel like this? You had solid reasons for trying to get an in with a major potential client. People network all the time. Why should tonight be different?

So what if Nat was angry tonight? Anger fades.

So what if you lost your job? There were lots of jobs just like it in the city. It’s not like you were going to be back here, scrounging for whatever someone would offer you. Besides, you didn’t like the person you needed to be to succeed on Bucky’s level at Wakanda, Inc.

And so what if Bucky hated you? You’d lived this long without him, you could keep it up. It’s not like he would ever care about you like that anyways. His job was priority, which was made clear tonight. Scott was insane for suggesting otherwise, and so was Virginia.

Sorry, not Virginia, Pepper. You seriously doubted that you’d ever get used to calling her that now.

The little bell on the front door jingled behind you, but you didn’t bother to look. It was too early to be the reunion crowd.

“That looks amazing right about now.”

You froze.

Natasha climbed up onto the stool beside you. She reached for a spoon from a napkin beside her, and started scooping out bites of sundae. “It’s just as good as I remember,” she confirmed, smirking up at you.

All you could do was blink in surprise.

“I know, you’re probably wondering what the heck I’m here for, after I just yelled at you in front of Pepper.” She set the spoon down against the side of the dish, then folded her arms on the counter. “I shouldn’t have done that. I was trying to find a reason to be mad at you, I think, for being mad at me before. Does that make sense?”

“I’m not mad anymore, Nat.” You set your own spoon down and cleared your throat. “I just…”

Her eyes flickered to yours in question.

You shrugged a shoulder. “Being an adult is scary. I don’t know how else to word it. I left here because I thought my high school drama was the worst thing ever. It turns out, having someone else decide your fate all the time is way worse. Control over your destiny is a total joke. I can’t force my boss not to fire me. I can’t force someone to help me get a contract. I especially can’t force someone to actually like me.”

You sighed when she still didn’t say anything. Natasha was finally letting you have your say.

“I didn’t think it would be like this,” you admitted. “Everything was easy for me in school, in college. Now the stakes are higher, and I can’t get anything to go right.”

“I think you’re too hard on yourself, Y/N.” She leaned back with a little shake of her head. “You never used to try to plan anything…it’s not like you. Your strength lies in your ability to use obstacles as life lessons. You use problems as ladders to get yourself to something better. You aren’t the kind of person to sit here and mope, when what you want is so close.”

You let out a humorless chuckle. “And what’s that?”

Natasha’s smirk returned. “Well, for one, that handsome-as-hell coworker of yours is in the most convenient of places, a hotel room.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake Natasha…”

“Second,” she continued, undeterred. “I had a little chat with Pepper. She really wants you guys to get the contract as soon as possible.”

“Really?” Your puffy eyes widened in disbelief. “She said that? You aren’t messing with me as revenge?”

“No,” Nat laughed. “I am too tired, too in need of this sundae to be that way right now.” She grabbed her spoon again. “Anyways, your company can confirm with her on Monday. There are three conditions she came up with, ones that will protect your company.”

“Go on.” You were in no position to say no if it meant that you could, as Bucky had said earlier, salvage the evening.

“Your name has to stay off of all the documents. It’s not illegal, but it could get us even more bad press if someone figured out how you’re associated with me or Pepper.”

“I can do that.” I have no choice, you added silently.

“Second, she still needs your team to present the bid to Tony. They have to look at everyone with a good pitch, to be fair. If some other company catches his eye, there’s a chance you lose the contract.”

“That’s fair.” It’s closer than you were earlier, that’s for sure.

Natasha nodded. “The third condition is that whichever one of your cohorts takes the case, they can’t drop it and leave it for a new team to handle. The person involved has to be able to see it through to the end.”

Bucky wasn’t going to like that. He admitted he likes the chase of the new client, sort of putting them in his rear-view mirror once they signed the dotted line. He’d deal, though, if it meant boosting the chance of the company’s survival.

“I think that they can handle that.”

“They?” She raised an eyebrow at you. “You aren’t sure it will be Bucky?”

“I’m not going to promise to be sure of anything anymore, Nat. But, he is lead, and he is the best they have, so I’m sure he’ll be involved.”

“Great. I’ll let Pepper know. She already talked to Tony, and he’s definitely interested. He wants the first pitch to be from Wakanda, Inc.”

Gratitude flooded your whole body. “Thank you, Natasha. You and Pepper really didn’t have to do that for us after how I’ve behaved.”

“And you didn’t have to make amends after how I behaved, but here we are at this damn diner, having the same kind of sundae we used to have.” She paused for a moment. “For the record, I’m glad you showed up tonight.”

You flashed her a genuine smile. “Honestly? Me too.”

---

Natasha left with a promise to come visit you sometime during your lunch hour, since you both worked in the city. She and Clint were apparently moving closer so that her commute would be easier in the future, which meant that they’d only be a short train ride away.

You walked slowly back to your hotel room, half taking everything in for memory’s sake, half dreading seeing Bucky again. You knew what you had to do, but it wasn’t going to be easy for you.

After you were safely inside your hotel room, you packed up your things, wrote a quick note explaining everything Nat had told you to Bucky, and shut your door quietly behind you.

You tiptoed to Bucky’s door, leaning over just long enough to shove the rental car keys and your note underneath it. You felt your chest clench at the thought of him just inside the room. Was he still mad? Was he relieved that this was all over?

Would he even care that you were sneaking out?

Better yet, should you even care what he thought?

After all, Bucky had used you, too. You were a means to an end for him. He left you alone in that hallway to cry your eyes out without stopping to hear your side of anything. Could you ever want someone like that?

He’d seemed so different when you were trouncing around Manhattan taking selfies, or even at your apartment while he snuggled with Mr. Fuzzypants. Playing pretend with him was infinitely better than this reality you’d been thrown into.

How could someone have two completely different sides to them?

You realized tonight that you would never be the kind of person that could tear though lives to get what they wanted. If that’s what they expected you do to in order to get to the top at work, forget it.

If that was the kind of person Bucky wanted you to be, forget him, too.

It was time to look out for yourself, to be cautious with the attachments you formed. You didn’t need to shy away from them, just use a little more care. Like Pepper had said, you wore your heart on your sleeve too much, and it made it easy for others to take advantage of you.

Once you’d checked out of the hotel, you waited for your driver in the lobby. The app said that they were only five minutes away, and it was cheaper than a regular cab, so you figured you’d go ahead with it just to get home sooner. The thought of having to ride in the car with Bucky in the morning was one that you could not stand.

You got the notification saying the driver was out front, so you grabbed your bag, and you had almost made it out the front door when you heard Bucky call your name behind you.

“Wait,” he pleaded. His voice had never sounded quite so uncertain before.

How did one night cause all this drama?

You stopped just short of the door, and stared at his reflection in the glass, before turning to face him with a sigh. It hurt to even look at him. These past two weeks had been fun, even if they were for the wrong reasons. He’d grown on you, and you knew you were going to miss him.

“I’m heading back tonight.”

“I can see that.” Bucky’s brows furrowed, and he lifted the hand that was currently clutching your note as he moved toward you. “How did you get them to come around and offer a meeting?”

“I couldn’t tell you. They are just good people, and we go way back. Maybe they felt bad for me, I don’t know. Anyway, I have to go, my ride is here.” You made the move to turn again, but his hands came up to your upper arms and held you in place.

You felt a little tingle roll down your spine at his touch.

“You don’t have to go,” he murmured, his eyes searching yours. You noted they were much lighter than before.

Your own eyes strayed to his lips. They were so close, all you’d have to do is lean forward a few inches…if you could just lean forward, everything might be different…

But you weren’t going to be working at Wakanda, Inc. much longer. You had no choice but to quit now. You weren’t going to see him anymore. He had a case to work on, a company to save, and you couldn’t be a part of it any longer.

You forced yourself to look back at his eyes, banishing any thoughts of acting on your feelings from your brain. “Actually, Bucky, if you read the note, you know it’s exactly what I have to do. I can’t be involved in this little operation anymore.”

Bucky shifted a little closer, standing in your personal space now. “I don’t want you to leave here angry with me.”

“I just told you, I’m leaving because-“

“You’re leaving because of me,” he argued, shaking his head. “Please, can we at least talk about tonight before you leave? Preferably not in the lobby?”

“You’re the one that took off first, Bucky. You saw how upset I was, and you left anyway. So now I’m leaving, okay? Goodnight.” You still couldn’t wriggle from his grasp. “Let me go, let me end tonight on a good note while I still have the chance.”

Bucky leaned in, eyes wide. “The meeting doesn’t matter now. I’ve been sitting here thinking, Y/N, and for the first time in my life, the fucking meeting doesn’t matter to me now.”

“It doesn’t matter now?” You couldn’t believe him. The drama, the pain you’d inflicted on everyone around you suddenly didn’t matter anymore? That was such bullshit. “Bucky, you literally made me come here because of the chance at a meeting. You dragged me around town to make me presentable just for this meeting. You prepped me, groomed me, made me behave a certain way, made me feel like I wasn’t enough…all of this, all your actions have been for this fucking meeting!”

The driver outside impatiently honked twice, so you pulled away from Bucky.

Exhaustion hit you like an ocean wave.

It wasn’t worth being mad, you realized. It wasn’t worth leaving another relationship in tatters because of this one event. If you were letting one drama go, you had to let them all go.

“Bucky, look…the compromise, for the good of the deal, was that I back off. I’m going to do that, for the company and for you. But right now, I need to go home, relax, and try to think of what I’m going to do next. I’m going home.” You pulled away from his grasp finally, and took a few steps backwards.

A defeated look crossed his handsome features. “I’m sure we can…there’s something we can do, here, Y/N, you deserve credit…”

You shook your head, then turned to push the lobby door open. “Goodnight, Bucky.”

“It wasn’t all for the meeting,” Bucky called out behind you. “I thought it was, too, but I was wrong.”

“Congratulations, and good luck to you,” you replied, letting the glass door close behind you.

It added some finality to this whole weekend. You tried to tell yourself that this was for the best, that you and Bucky were too different. He was just on edge, and you were emotional, and come Monday, it’d be back to the grind for him. You’d heard before that he was good at trading one person for another, so it probably wouldn’t be anything for him to just move on with his life.

Meanwhile, you were once again sacrificing your own happiness and security for someone else, but this time you were okay with it. Deep down, you knew that you were doing the right thing for once this evening, and that made it worth it.

Your heels clicked loudly on the sidewalk as you made your way to the car. The driver helped you with your bag, and soon you were off, headed back to the city. Monday would bring changes, but maybe you were ready for them. Maybe it was exactly what you needed, after a little rest.

You didn’t bother to take another glance at the hotel door.

---

Part 10

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