#I needed to get up some courage before publishing my drawings lol
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hal-from-hell · 1 year ago
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I`m not such an artist, but this tragic squid deserves all little kisses on its slimy face!
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Have you notice how the Emperor sneaks glances on Tav, and how he looks away when talks about feelings? Our mind flayer's crush is so obvious that it makes him looks silly.
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junhuiste · 8 months ago
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experi-meant to be ⋆ park wonbin
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pairing: wonbin x gn reader
tags/warnings: fluff, cursing, college au, laboratory environment, one mention of baking, 1600 words
a/n: i meant to publish this on valentine’s day since i had lab that day but i never finished it lol. there’s some microbio lab procedure jargon so like this is what streaking plates is if you want a visual lmfaoao. this is my first published work in like three years it feels weird haha + i might change my layout/header for fics but for now i’ll keep the same layout i've had for past fics
wonbin believes U are the uracil to his adenine—you should always be paired together.
| seunghan: dude 
| seunghan: lowkey i can’t come to lab bc my car won’t fucking start so i’ll have to make it up next week :\ but taehyun and his partner would probably be willing to help you out with calculations and clean up hopefully
Wonbin pants heading up the stairs into the classroom lab, cheeks immediately pink as he’s made a spectacle amongst everyone already sitting and tuned into the TA’s pre-lab lesson. Sighing as he processes Seunghan’s text, Wonbin turns to the drawing of bacterial growth curves on the whiteboard but is soon after preoccupied with the fact that there is no Taehyun on a stool. There’s just your backside entirely in front of him. 
Taehyun is one to set up all his materials before the TA even steps foot through the lab door so if he isn’t here now then that means—
“Guess you’re stuck with me for today.” 
Wonbin tries to swallow but it gets stuck halfway down his throat and is about to go into a choke type cough frenzy when he surprises himself and softly clears his throat instead. His thoughts are all just stuck there—in the middle of his esophagus, begging for them to travel back up to his brain so he has enough stamina to stick it through the four hour class. 
“No hate to him because Taehyunnie’s a tad faster at getting through the steps, so you know, we’re usually out thirty minutes early, but I can promise you I’m better at calculations. And I’m more precise with measurements,” you let out a small giggle before setting your backpack on the floor next to Wonbin’s.
The commotion of pipettes being thrown onto the surface, glass tubes clinking, and sneakers squeaking rushing to obtain their samples is right away drowned out in Wonbin’s ears by the sight of you perched atop the stool a mere few inches away from him. He tries to keep his chest from heaving at bay by taking his notebook out of his backpack and reviewing the method for today’s class. The solution is only short lived though, promptly taking notice of how you gather materials from the drawer while simultaneously reading through your own notebook. 
Every Tuesday and Thursday, Wonbin assumes his seat in the third to last row of his Virology lecture, close enough to the door that he can be among the first to leave as soon as “see you guys next time” leaves Professor Choi’s lips. He longs for the day (ideally it would be quite before the last week of classes but realistically that’s the best he has to offer for now) that he musters up just the slightest bit of courage to join you and Taehyun in the second row, where Seunghan also occasionally accompanies you two. It’s only the third week of this semester, but perhaps the sixth course of his over the past three years Wonbin’s seen you in. From Biochemistry to Rhetoric 2, he has never taken place at a desk next to yours. 
Wonbin’s always aching to know how you’d answer everything he could ever ask you, be it the attendance quiz question or your weekend plans—what time you usually roll out of bed, whether or not you stroll to the local farmer’s market near campus, if you’re spending Saturday with a special someone. He needs to hear you laugh at Taehyun’s cynicism about college. He needs to hear it up close, not having to strain his ear when he’s fifteen rows behind when you crack up at your friend during the five minute break Professor Choi gives the class. 
But Wonbin will take what he can get for now, and if that’s helping you fulfill your wish of completing the lab procedure as quickly as possible, he’ll do it. 
“I can do the calculations for us,” you begin, “would you mind getting our mutant strains at the front of the class and streak the Petri dishes?” 
Wonbin nods almost too enthusiastically and curses at himself for seeming embarrassingly desperate in front of you. Sure, he’d like to muster up the courage to ask you out, but today he’ll try to take it one step at a time.
When Wonbin returns with new plates to grow your bacteria on and two tubes filled with your bacterial strains, you scoot your chair closer to his to later show the finished calculations. He catches a whiff of your light perfume and almost falls out of his own chair. 
As he’s setting up the Bunsen burner for sterilization, you chuckle, “you know the real reason Taehyun’s not here today is because he left town last night to get a head start on the extravagant romantic weekend he has planned with Gaeul.”
“If there’s one way to use our one free unexcused absence, that’ll do it,” Wonbin replies. 
“Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day, Wonbin? I mean if you did I just hope you wouldn’t leave me early like Taehyun did,” your eyes meet his for a brief second before flitting back to your notebook.
Wonbin’s grip on the matchstick to light the burner loosens. He just barely catches himself before the match could fall from his hand onto the lab bench. What he needed to get a grip on was his fucking sanity—he almost set the classroom on fire because his heart instead is aflame for yours. 
Taking a breath, Wonbin exhales when the flame turns to blue, finally lighting the Bunsen burner. 
“Nope, no plans,” he briefly turns to you. There’s a beat and he considers that asking you back would seem too forward, but he does it anyway. 
Upon seeing your grin before you open your mouth, he turns his attention right back to the tubes and plates in front of him. 
It’s so over. 
For a second Wonbin’s relieved, because he thinks he can actually get through the next two hours without overthinking his micro movements in front of you. Now that it’s over for him, maybe he can actually pay attention to the way the metal loop he’s holding makes contact with the jelly-like agar inside the plastic plate and not disappoint Seunghan with the results. However, it’s not realistic because even still, Wonbin takes note of all your beauty and remains completely bewitched.
“Honestly I wish...I mean Minjeong, Yunjin and I are gonna do a rom-com binge and bake desserts…but you know…not any plans with someone like that…” 
Your temporary lab partner tries to hide his smile and nods silently as he continues switching between spreading bacteria on the plate with the metal loop and then sterilizing the loop in the blue flame. 
The rest of lab goes smoothly as Wonbin tries to quell the embers within him for the time remaining. There’s forty minutes left but technically to you Wonbin knows time is dashing away and it should feel like there’s what but only ten minutes left to do everything. Your pair was a few steps ahead of the others, just like how it would be when Taehyun accompanied you every week. 
Wonbin has been psyching himself up the past two hours to finally ask you out but currently he’s stuck in his head and just can’t seem to get it out. Does he chase you after you’ve stepped foot out of the lab or should he leave you be? Or maybe he can try next week. He’ll keep telling himself that until there’s one day of instruction left and then he won’t see you for three months and then he’ll lament the entire summer to Seunghan that he didn’t say shit. 
He can do that…or just rip the bandage off at an agonizing speed. 
The last Petri dish that Wonbin holds is being wrapped in parafilm to prevent contamination. He’d been going through the motions of the procedure while simultaneously not paying attention to his surroundings, at his own self’s behest. You’ve already cleaned the entire lab bench and he doesn’t notice until he hears “see you in Virology,” and suddenly you’re slinging your backpack over your shoulder. 
It’s now or next week…or never—wait you know that Wonbin’s in your Virology class? What you said is ringing in his ears and it hits him all at once.
Petri dishes in hand and turning around, Wonbin freezes in his tracks.
“Um…”
Your eyebrows furrow.
“Do you want to hang out tomorrow?” his own mouth betrays him and suddenly it’s all coming out much too quickly for his liking. 
You’re about to answer but before you can even get a word in, “I-I don’t mean to interfere with your plans with your friends but uh, if you wanted to do something like that I’m down.”
Your lips press into a line and Wonbin is about to pass out from the threatening fluorescent classroom lights. 
“Park Wonbin…are you asking me out on a date?” He can practically feel his sweat melting the parafilm tape off and a vision of him dropping the Petri dishes in front of you, cracking open and shattering, exposing E.coli to everyone in the room flashes before him. He blinks once and calms his vice grip on the plates. 
“Yes. Yes I am asking you out on a date,” Wonbin looks down at your sneakers, not knowing where else to shift his gaze to. 
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” you smirk, slinging the other strap of your backpack over your other shoulder and saluting.
Park Wonbin swears his heart is on fire and does a backflip off a fifty foot cliff. A curve forming on his lips, he smiles slightly waving with the plates still in his hand, “see ya…”
You halt your forward movement and turn back around, “Wonbin?” he perks up again, “you should sit next to me in lecture on Tuesday.”
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sev-wildfang · 2 years ago
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Hi! Feel free to ignore this question if you're busy and/or just don't want to answer it. Do you have any tips for starting a webcomic? I've always wanted to do my own, ever since I was a kid, but have always felt limited by time/energy/lack of skill/etc. I really admire your unique personal style and unrepentant loyalty to the story *you* want to tell in Souls Foreclosed (one of my 'problems' is that I always feel guilty that 90% of my cast is butch lesbians lol) and I was wondering if you had any tips for getting the courage to take the plunge into properly trying to plot out a comic.
OKAY! time to tackle this one, i have not forgotten!
thank you for reading! :D
fuck what anyone else thinks you make that comic with all those butches (please, make it. send me the link, i am starving, parched even, there is a desert of media like that)
this might not work for everyone (because i can only speak for myself) BUT: when youre starting out you have to be okay with having some or a lot of your shit come out looking kinda bad. i wasnt satisfied with many pages up til chapter 6? i still think some of my new ones are mid. but theyre what will help you gain momentum, and momentum is what has been carrying me thru most of these 2.5 years making the comic. i set myself a date and said "this is when i need to have enough comic to publish with X pages of buffer in place, and this is when ill start drawing." of course i mapped out some plotlines, and i had the main characters' backstories already written out in the rough, but a lot of the stuff you see in chapters 0-4 is just me making shit up along the way. an idea grabs me and i follow it.
this is the part that applies to basically everything so i think this advice is solid for everyone: the only one who can make the kinda thing you want to make is you. the best time to start is now! use the tools you have NOW, you can always transition into other processes as you keep working. youre gonna learn a bunch of shit along the way that will make it easier too! i figured out how to shade hair LITERALLY this year! and also nobody is ever truly satisified with what they create so dont worry if it looks "off" to yourself. find yourself a handful of people who you can bounce ideas off of and who are excited to see your stuff before you post it too!
ok i hope this was in any way helpful i tried very hard not to call it "be okay with birthing ugly babies" even tho thats what it is
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shinysobi · 3 years ago
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i came in from the outside, burnt out from the joyride (ii)
this was born out of a conversation with @akinosakiya, so all credits go to her >.<
chapter 1 | chapter 2 | coming soon
ao3
(A/N: so... i am extremely sorry for not updating,,, uni and life has been generally kicking my ass pretty horribly (im in my final semester lol) and while i am not generally very happy with this chapter, it is important because it sets up a lot of things in the future yeeet)
word count: 4955
Attorney Park wishes her good luck as she leaves for the courthouse the next day, and Sol can’t help but feel as though he was laughing at her for some reason, and frantically checks for food stuck in her teeth on the way to the courthouse. There isn’t any, so she’s left to wonder exactly what the hell he meant when he had sent her off with a very cryptic “see you soon, Kang Sol.”
“What did he even mean?” she mutters to herself, calling her sister, “Ah, Byeol, remember to go to your academy today, all right?”
“Okay, eonni,” her sister replies, “you’re at the courthouse, aren’t you?”
“Hmm, I have a case to win,” she replies, and Byeol wishes her good luck before the call goes silent, and she allows herself a rare moment of self-reflection, taking in the image of the Courthouse. It’s imposing, but she curiously feels at home here, in the middle of the city where the noise of the cars is so loud, she can’t hear the person next to her sometimes. There’s something magical about the courthouse, and she isn’t romanticising it, but the idea of fighting for justice, no matter how imperfect, it fills her with pride, even more so when she knows that what she is doing is for good.
Not to say that there aren’t any downsides to it, either. She gets threats almost on the daily, from disgruntled clients and from people who want her to take the case, even though she knows it would be an affront to her dignity. The Dean’s voice floats into her ear, reciting the Attorneys-at-act law that allows her to reject a case if she wants to. Right. It does not feel like an insult to her now like it had done then, the act, because she chose to take this case on, and yet, here she is, standing in front of the courthouse, wearing her nicest clothes (Yeseul had raised an eyebrow, but she was too tired to pay any attention to her) and dreading her turn to go inside.
“Eonni!” a voice calls out, and it’s Yeseul, dressed for a case, “how long do you have before you have to go in?” Sol doesn’t need to check her watch to tell the time that is left, ten minutes on the dot, and she’s waiting for her client to come through, still in police custody, something which she had failed to stop, “are you staring off into space again?”
She recovers quickly, “no, I was just waiting for the defendant to be brought here by the police.” She turns to Yeseul, who’s evidently not had much sleep, “why are you here in my case? Didn’t you wrap one up today?”
“Ah, I did,” Yeseul smiles, taking a hold of Sol’s arm, “but I’m here now, aren’t I? I thought you would need some support, you know, since you—”
She doesn’t complete the sentence. She doesn’t need to. Sol smiles at her, loops their arms together, and says, “do you want to have coffee?”
Yeseul grins, “I’d love to.”
No matter how many times she’s walked in here, and no matter how much the courthouse makes her feel at ease, there’s still a part of her that is anxious when she stands in front of it, hoping that she might be able to provide adequate justice to the person she was defending. It throws her off sometimes, the court of law. But she can always find her way back to it, and perhaps this is why she loves it, loves being able to defend people from being betrayed by the same system that they had put so much trust in, betrayed, just like she had been. It’s as though the law is apologising to her, albeit in its own, slightly twisted way.
The defendant, Je Sang-Hee, sits at her designated position, looking at her, and Sol draws herself up to her full height, careful to not catch anyone’s eye on the other side of the courthouse. Its oddly suffocating, the courthouse today, the air thick with a sort of anticipation that she doesn’t really want to address. Yeseul squeezes her arm, whispering, “you’ll do good, eonni,” and all of a sudden, she’s standing there, alone, with only her wits there for help. Shit. I wish I had had gotten drunk last night. At least this would have been hazier.
She approaches the bench, the defendant sitting silently, and tries to reassure her, “don’t worry, we’ll clear your name, all right?” she’s met with silence, as Sang-Hee only nods, her eyes welling with unshed tears. It’s heart-breaking, the way Sang-Hee has accepted her punishment, accepted that she would be going to prison anyway, so, nothing really matters. Sol doesn’t want that for her. She doesn’t want that for anyone, not even the worst of criminals. Sure, she may not be defending them in the court of law, but everyone should benefit from the assumption of innocence. She may not be the one speaking up for them, but she does wish that people have the opportunity to prove themselves innocent.
There aren’t many people in attendance in the courthouse today, which is a blessing, but she also has to deal with pesky reporters stationed outside, who seemed to have taken an interest in the woman accused of attempted murder, despite having really, no evidence against her. It was funny, how people jumped to conclusions, just because of the person’s backgrounds, or due to a particular defamatory article that may have been published about them online. Sang-Hee had had one published about her, filled with lies so vile that Sol couldn’t even read through it once.
“Sang-Hee ssi,” She says, approaching the defendant’s bench, “how are you feeling today?”
Je Sang-Hee looks at her, eyes still shining with tears, and lowers her gaze. She can’t even speak. Sol is angry, of course, but even more than the anger that simmers inside of her, is frustration, for not being able to protect her client, frustration at being unable to be the person there for the victim.
“Eonni,” Yeseul’s voice drags her out of her little reverie, “eonni, I think Joon-hwi oppa is here now.”
Sol squints at the younger girl, “who told you that?”
Yeseul holds up her phone, “Bok-gi is going to be here too, so he texted me. The two of them are going to come along, him and Jiho. Jiho should be here by now, but he hasn’t texted yet.”
Sol just—stares at Yeseul for a moment, trying to understand the volley of information that had just been thrown at her, in a manner not unlike that of Professor Yang, the man who, Sol recollects with regret, had heard about this whole mess from Sol B, but had not once offered to help. She didn’t need his help, though. It’s just that he could have offered to help her, and it would have been nice.
“Eonni,” Yeseul says, warning evident in her voice, “he’s here.”
What she doesn’t say, but Sol knows, is the sentence, don’t worry, I’m here for you. I’ll be here for you. She didn’t need it, per se, but it felt nice to know that at least one person had her back in this courthouse. Bok-gi was of course, on her side too, but she knew he wouldn’t sacrifice Joon-Hwi. Not now, anyway.
“You have your back to the Prosecutor’s bench,” Yeseul elbows her lightly, and she realises that yes, she has indeed been standing with her back towards the Prosecution’s bench all this while, and most importantly, there was someone behind her.
“Attorney Kang,” She knows that voice, has heard it in her head for years now, but Kang Sol finds herself unable to lift her gaze from the linoleum floor as she grasps the warm hand that was now being offered to her, “nice to meet you, finally.”
There’s a teasing lilt to the last word, a certain edge to the syllable that she knows all too well, having been subjected to it for hours on end, in classes, in the copy room, in the café, even in her mind. It’s from a voice she knows all too well, someone she had wronged.
Courage, Kang Sol.
“Hello, Prosecutor Han,” she looks up, extending one hand to the man in front of her, and—
She didn’t have any expectations of how she would meet Han Joon-Hwi after so many years, but in the deeper recesses of her mind, she had a thought; of his eyes widening at seeing her face for the first time in so many years, her falling in love with him all over again. She had thought of looking—no, not just looking, looking at him, for the first time in so many years, after that one fateful day when she ignored the words of her heat and went running far away from him, perhaps falling in love all over again.
Instead—she feels nothing. Perhaps a pang of guilt somewhere in the recesses of her mind, but when she looks into the eyes of Han Joon-Hwi, her best friend, the person she had fallen in love with, Kang Sol doesn’t see anyone but a weathered prosecutor, the boy who had called out her name on graduation day in Hankuk Law school long gone. Even though he looks not a day older, even though his eyes still crinkle in the same way when he smiles, and his hand still holds the same weight when he takes her hand for a handshake, but she can’t find the boy she was in love with anymore.
“Attorney Kang,” he grins, and his voice is the same, teasing when he looks at her, smiles at her, but he is her opponent, she has to defeat him today. This isn’t preparing for mock trials and judicial competitions, where they only played at being lawyers and prosecutors, this is real life. Je Sang-Hee’s life depends upon her, Kang Sol, winning this case. Against him, Han Joon-Hwi.
“Noona, nice to see you again,” Bok-gi pushes forward, giving her a warm hug, which does its job to dissipate all errant thoughts of a boy whose smile had haunted her in her dreams, “I’ll be watching today, my law firm asked me to—”
“Don’t worry about that,” she assures him, “you can take all the notes you want.” He’s still looking at her, she realises when she lets go of Bok-gi, Han Joon-Hwi is still staring at me. Do I have something in my teeth? “Good luck today, Prosecutor Han.”
He grins at her then, dimpled smile making her heart skip a beat, and says, “I don’t need luck, Attorney Kang,” before sauntering off to his seat.
Kang Sol clenches her jaw. Asshole.
--
He wasn’t sure how it would be—their meeting for the first time, but Joon isn’t going to say he’s dissatisfied with it. sure, she’s grown up now—she isn’t Kang Sol A anymore, she goes by just Kang Sol, and he doesn’t have the pesky tag of second-round judicial passer hanging around his neck anymore.
She had stared him down, and to no surprise, he still found her beautiful. Sure, he had always thought that there was a sort of magnetic aura around Sol, something that commanded the attention of an entire room when she walked in. She looked the same as she had looked, five years ago, when he had tried to confess to her, and she had rejected him. Sol hadn’t told him that she was rejecting him, at least not explicitly; Han Joon-Hwi was a man who could take a hint, especially if it ran away from him while he was in the middle of his confession. Really, Kang Sol. You made me chase you all the way to this courtroom.
A hand slams down on his desk, and Seo Jiho’s irritated voice tells him, “If you’re going to stare, at least do it properly.”
He sputters, suddenly thankful that his co-prosecutor was running late, as he stood up to stare at his ex-roommate, who was porting a very uncharacteristic grin, “what do you mean by that? I wasn’t staring.”
“Sure, you weren’t,” Jiho says, and even Bok-gi sniggers at him, “you were just looking in the general direction of Sol noona, so much so that everyone in the room thinks that the two of you are either dating, or that you want to kill her. Personally, I prefer the latter.”
He doesn’t say anything, just grumbles under his breath, and Jiho presses on, “did you prepare well for this case? You do realise that your evidence is weak, do you?”
“Ah, of course, hyung knows it,” Bok-gi steps in to intervene, and Joon-Hwi thinks for a moment that yes, Bok-gi was always one of the better ones, and then he opens his mouth again, “he’s just ignoring all the things he said before entering the courthouse, and proving to all of us how much of a hypocrite he is.”
Joon glares at Bok-gi, who is giggling at him now, and turns to look at the judge’s bench a pout on his face. Sure, he had proclaimed in the car that he would “not be looking at her, nope”, and the fact that it had taken him exactly three minutes to break that promise was bit laughable, but his friends didn’t have to rub it into his face.
“I don’t understand,” Bok-gi asks, “why are you still hung up on her? You basically took this case just so you could meet her again, and even though the two of you haven’t talked in years, you still talk about her, you still ask about her when you get the chance, so what is going on?”
Joon-Hwi doesn’t answer. He knows what is going on, why he has been so intent on meeting Kang Sol, even after so long, but he doesn’t want to—no, he can’t tell Bok-gi that. He feels a pang of guilt whenever he even thinks of telling Bok-gi the actual reason behind him running after Sol, even though she had made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want to have anything to do with him.
He wonders, sometimes.
His co-prosecutor arrives in the courtroom, almost gliding over the floor to take their seat, and he can see Kang Sol shrink back a little, obviously intimidated. He doesn’t hide his smile anymore, not that he needs to either. She didn’t have to get flustered over his co-prosecutor entering the damn courtroom. She’s never done that, at least from what Bok-gi and Yebeom have told him; even Jiho had pitched in with his own comments sometimes, knowing exactly how much it pissed him off, but he still did it. Every time he met Bok-gi or he met Yeseul, he would ask about her, waiting for them to respond with “oh, she’s doing okay, oppa” and “I met her a few weeks ago, she was fine, hyung” and they move on after that, but he can’t.
They don’t possibly expect him to move on from her, do they?
“All rise,” the bailiff announces, and he dutifully stands up, watching out of the corner of his eye as Sol gently helps the defendant to rise up alongside her, before being seated again. She still did that little thing when she looked around the entire courtroom for people watching her, he thinks to herself. She’s still the same Sol. No, she’s different now. We both are. We both are different, but there’s still things about her that remind me of the times we spent in Hankuk.
“Prosecutor Han,” the judge tells him, and he stands up quickly to his feet, “begin.”
“Thank you, Your Honour,” He says, walking out to the defendant’s bench, “defendant Je Sang-Hee, you were indicted on charges of attempted murder, following an attack on your fiancé, Seo Changmin, on the fourteenth of November, two weeks prior to your indictment.”
“Yes, I was,” she begins, “but I didn’t do anything to—”
“I’ll be the one asking questions here,” he cuts her off with a dismissive wave of his hand, and out of the corner of his eye, he can see Sol draw an almost-imperceptible breath, shaking her head at him. She isn’t flustered. He’s very sure she isn’t flustered, because the two of them have been on opposite sides of each other, time and time again, “could you confirm that Seo Changmin suffered injuries because of you?”
She stares at him, defiant, and replies, “he did not suffer injuries because of me, I found him and I called the police, I’ve told you this.”
“Yes, you have,” Joon walks to the front of the witness’ bench, “but your whereabouts were also unknown that night, until that fateful moment when you actually found your fiancé, and proceeded to assault him. Is that right?”
She looks at him, scowling. He’s hit a nerve, apparently. They had been harping on that aspect for far too long than what was necessary, Joon had noticed when he had been preparing. He couldn’t go that way when he questioned her, because he knows Sol has prepared for it.
So, he changes his track of questioning, “Ms Sang-Hee, would I be wrong in assuming that Mr Changmin had visited you five times over the three days prior to the accident?”
She stares at him, “he is my fiancé. Or he was, before the accident happened. It wasn’t unusual for him to visit me multiple times in a single day.”
He stops, “and yet, when the police asked you about the reason of his visits, you chose to remain silent, evading the question—”
“Objection,” Sol says calmly, standing up from her seat, “the prosecution cannot ask leading questions.”
“Sustained,” the judge replies smoothly, even before Joon-Hwi has a chance to respond, “Prosecutor Han, you cannot possibly expect me to accept this in the courthouse.”
He nods his head, slightly irritated, now that she has taken his advantage away, “moving on, Ms. Sang-Hee, when you found Seo Changmin unconscious, why did you not call for an ambulance? You waited ten minutes to call an ambulance, which most people would argue, looks strange, does it not?”
She doesn’t back down an inch. Good. He hadn’t thought she would either. They didn’t have enough evidence to show that she was guilty, her indictment based primarily on circumstantial evidence that even the most punishment-happy of all judges would find difficulty agreeing with. But they had had her indicted, and now they were here, trying to get her a sentence that would be as heavy as possible. Sol had been right. He didn’t have to worry about the defendant, not as a prosecutor. He just had to punish people to the full extent of the law.
“I tried to wake him up multiple times, but he didn’t respond,” Sang-Hee responds, staring at the judge, “I didn’t think it was out of the ordinary, since he had always had a drinking problem, but when he didn’t respond to me calling his name in the morning, that was when I grew worried.”
She looks at him once, then back to her lawyer, Sol, who looked as though she wanted to strangle him. good. This means I’m winning, and turns back to him, “it was like him to come back drunk, so drunk that he could barely remember where he was, and his friends would drop him off at my house, with apologies, but he would repeat his behaviour. I wasn’t too worried when he didn’t respond to my calls at night, but by morning, he would usually be awake and demanding breakfast. That was when I started to get anxious.”
“Anxious? Not worried?” he asks, curiosity spiked by her peculiar choice of words, “were you anxious that he was actually dead? Or were you anxious that your—”
“he’s my fiancé, of course I would be anxious if he was not responding to my calls,” Sang-Hee stares at him, “you must not have dated a lot if you think I wouldn’t have been worried about my fiancé.”
A wave of laughter runs through the court, and he can feel the tips of his ears turn red. Even the judge cracks a smile, and he can see both Bok-gi and Jiho sniggering. They’re never going to let me live this one down, “so, you called the police then, who found your fiancé almost dead from a drug overdose.”
“Yes,” she looks at her hands, fingers intertwined, “they told me he had taken it about four hours before I called them.”
Ah, there it is. He knew it would come to this, he had known there was no way to win this case after all, even if he really did want to win. There were things he couldn’t do after all, despite being what they called a ‘star prosecutor’. “No more questions.”
The smile on Sol’s face is enough to tell him that he’s lost this case. Oddly enough, he doesn’t feel disappointed, even as his partner shoots dirty looks at him, a clear violation of courtroom conduct, but he can’t bring himself to care, fixated on the way she looks while cross-examinating the defendant, the way she turns to the judge and says “no more questions, your Honour.” It’s a far cry from the Sol he remembers at law school, the one who would have him act as prosecutor whenever she went up in a mock trial, even if he had been assigned the role of prosecutor, going up against her. She always asked him to help her practise, and like the fool that he was, he always helped her. Even now, as he stands there, watching her, it’s almost as though he is back at Hankuk; almost, but not quite.
“Court adjourned for the day, and will convene for the next trial on—” Joon can feel himself growing more and more antsy, as the judge announces the date for the next trial, and that Sang-Hee can be released from Judicial custody, especially since her health had been failing due to the stress of the trial and asthma, from which she had suffered since she was young.
He hurries out of the courthouse, only to be cornered by Jiho and Bok-gi at the entrance, Bok-gi with a large grin on his face and Jiho with his trademark expressionless look, although he knows both of them were going to tease him about this, possibly till he died and perhaps even then, they would find a way to sneak it into his eulogy.
Strangely, he didn’t mind it at all.
“Hyung, where are you going?” Bok-gi asks, even as Joon desperately tries to catch a glimpse of Sol through the now-closing courtroom doors, “shouldn’t you be preparing for the next date?”
He looks at Bok-gi for a second, eyes widening, “what are you talking about?”
Bok-Gi’s smile gets wider, if that’s possible, “really? What were you thinking about, hyung? I was talking about the next court date.”
Joon-Hwi huffs, “I was thinking about the same thing, Min Bok-Gi; now, if you will—”
Jiho opens his mouth to say something, but Joon barrels past the two of them, running down the stone steps and to the driveway, where his car was parked, and, presumably, Sol’s too. She’s walking faster now, and he has to run to keep up with her. Her ponytail bobs as she takes quick steps, in a hurry to get away from the courthouse complex. He doesn’t blame her at all.
“Sunbae!” he calls out, loud enough to catch the attention of quite a few people, “Sunbae!”
That catches her attention all right, and she stops in her tracks, turning to him, an irritated expression on her face. It doesn’t stay for long, however, fading just as quickly as it came, “so, you’re still sticking with that name, Han Joon-Hwi?”
He grins, “of course. It wouldn’t be me and you, if I didn’t call you Sunbae, Sunbae.”
She stares at him, with an expression he can’t quite place. “I thought we didn’t have that sort of a relationship anymore, Prosecutor Han.”
And, there it is. He can’t deny it and say that it doesn’t hurt to be treated by Sol this way, but he’s nothing if not tenacious, so he pushes on, “you did good today, in there.”
She doesn’t say anything, simply nods her head, before replying with a curt, “good job today, Prosecutor Han.” Of course, she would say that; he doesn’t want to admit it, but it sort of feels like she had slapped him full across the face. Who am I kidding, if she had done that, it would have perhaps hurt less. He feels like a fool, standing in the middle of the road, calling out her name, and a years-old nickname that she didn’t like, and one that he felt only held significance for him.
What they had not had was closure; or at least for him, it was that, the absence of a final answer to his unasked question, something between them still hanging in the air. She could ignore it, live on with her life, but he cannot. There should have been closure, he’s told himself time and time again, or was I just too unimportant for her to even give a damn. It isn’t true, he knows, Sol wouldn’t do that to him, or to anyone else for that matter, but on some nights, it becomes impossible. He doesn’t blame her either; he blames his own self for the loss of his closest friend. If only he hadn’t been stubborn enough to ask her out on the day of graduation. He should have waited a little bit more.
But then, should he have waited?
“Sol!” he calls out again, jogging lightly to keep up with her steps, “Sol! Wait up for a minute—”
He’s interrupted, Sol turning abruptly to meet him halfway, which results in him having to backtrack, “what do you want now?”
He smiles brightly, “how about Pyongyang naengmyeon? I know a place nearby that’s good.”
She stares at him, like she can’t really figure out his deal. He holds up his hands, “look, all I’m asking for is a meal. No strings attached.”
Surprisingly, she nods once, turning on her heel, “lead the way, Prosecutor Han.”
--
I should not be doing this.
Her phone buzzes, and it’s Yeseul. You should not be doing this, the text reads, and Sol has to gather all her willpower to not scream in the middle of the street, I know, I fucking know, I shouldn’t be doing this with him right now, going for lunch when there’s—no, I just cannot do it.
She thinks it would be good, for her to have one lunch with him, to get him out of her system, Yeseul’s wisdom about not having lunch with someone who is technically her opponent in the court be damned. She just needs to have lunch with him once, and then she can stop feeling this way.
The restaurant is small, but bright light filters in through the large windows as they take a seat at one of the empty tables. There are a lot of them, she thinks, looking around, just after the lunchtime rush, or the restaurant wasn’t a very good one. Either way, she was supposed to be having a meal with Han Joon-Hwi right now, and as Sol takes a seat, she realises she had been vastly unprepared for this meeting.
He doesn’t look like the Joon she knew back in Hankuk, that is certain, but he doesn’t look like what her imagination had unhelpfully supplied her with either. He looks every inch the prosecutor, with dark circles underneath his eyes and that slouching posture she supposes every prosecutor has, as though he had been carrying the weight of the whole world. It’s sad, somehow.
“Are you going to order?”
“Hm?” She turns her gaze, and sure enough, he’s looking at her just like he had done all those years ago, when she had a stupid letter attached to her name like a real-life suffix that followed one around, and he used to lean over tables and grin all up in her face and mock her by saying Sunbae. It’s—uncomfortable. She didn’t think she would revert to her university self so easily, but with him, it feels like second nature, “You said Pyongyang naengmyeon, so we should get Pyongyang naengmyeon.”
“All right,” he teases, but it’s light, the kind of tone one would use with a co-worker, which strikes her as somehow offensive (am I not more important than a co-worker?) and she spots a glint of something else in his eyes, but shakes her head free of the thought, just as he says, “so, how is work?”
She rolls her eyes, “I don’t think you asked me to lunch after all these years just to talk to me about work, Han Joon-Hwi.”
He smiles, “right, I didn’t, two orders of beef bone soup, please.”
She stares at him, “it’s summer,” and turns back to the ahjumma, “two orders of Pyongyang naengmyeon, please.”
He just shakes his head, looking at her in that funny way, and asks, “so, do you remember, or do you not?”
What is he even asking me about? “No, I don’t,” she replies, pouring out water for the both of them, “what are you even talking about?”
He shakes his head at her again, “never mind. Let’s eat.”
She can’t help but feel as though she had just missed something important, at least by the look on his face. Or maybe that’s the naengmyeon talking.
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ghoste-catte · 4 years ago
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multiples of 3 ✌🏼-sgmdrcklee
@sagemoderocklee you’re really trying to kill me lol
This got long as heck so I’m throwing it behind a cut. Read on for answers and fic recs! (Mostly the fic recs)
3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year
This is a tough one to answer for me generally because I tend to spit words onto the page and once I have written them I no longer remember writing them. And 2020 has stretched on so long that as I’m looking at some of the stuff I wrote in the beginning of this year, I hardly remember what’s even in it. I think at one point someone (@goblin-draws maybe?) mentioned a line in Sleeptalk with Me where the innkeeper calls Kankuro “chubby boy”, and I was like “Oh ... did I write that? Yeah, sounds like something I’d have someone say to Kankuro ...” 
It might be easier to talk about this in other terms. One of the scenes I worked the hardest on this year was the fight scene in Chapter 3 of Skeleton Key. The original draft of the scene was a lot shorter, and a lot of the backstory for Misaki’s revenge quest was elided. The scene as originally written was clunky, confusing, and as my lovely wife/beta put it sounded “like a Naruto villain” was doing the dialogue, when previously she’d found Misaki sinister and intriguing. Which wasn’t what I wanted. I basically entirely overhauled the scene and re-wrote it several times. I wouldn’t call it a ‘favorite’ scene (I hate writing fight scenes generally; having chosen to immerse myself in a fandom about ninja where much of the drama comes from battle is my eternal regret), but it is a scene that I put a lot of effort into, and I’m moderately satisfied with the improved product that resulted.  
6. least popular fic this year
By far my least popular fic by kudos ever is Pitch Perfect. Which makes complete sense to me. It’s a fic where I’ve written 2 characters who are men in canon as cis women, which pushes a lot of uncomfortable buttons for a lot of people. It contains F/F smut, which is something that a lot of people who choose to read GaaLee probably aren’t out there looking for. And people comment and kudos less on smutfics, I assume because they don’t want their username attached to porn or because they’re embarrassed (which I totally get, no shame there). It’s a modern AU with a sports twist, and AUs are often less popular than canonverse in my experience. I will say though that it has a surprisingly high number of private bookmarks compared to other fics with comparable hit and kudos counts. So I assume people are just a bit more shy because the premise is so ‘out there’. I will say as far as my fics go, it’s one of my personal favorites and probably one of the most intimate and true-to-life things I’ve written? So it actually is a little comforting to know that something so vulnerable has relatively little attention. 
9. longest wip of the year
If we’re going based on stuff that’s partially published but not complete, my Gaara-adopts-Shinki fic On My Way Home is my longest in-progress fic at just over 20k words, although technically I started it in 2019. It will probably end up being right around 40-50k when it’s complete, which might end up situating it as my longest fic ever? 
12. favorite character to write about this year
Okay, this is an easy one. I love writing Kankuro. I think he is hilarious. He is the devil on my shoulder and a creature of pure id, and every time I write a line of dialogue for him it’s the summation of my rudest thoughts about a situation put in the crudest possible terms. If there were a megaphone directly from my unfiltered brain giving running commentary, that would be Kankuro.
15. something you learned this year
I have learned SO much this year! This is only my 2nd year properly ‘focusing’ on writing fic and investing any substantial time into it. I think the biggest thing I have learned, though, is how to overcome a lot of my self-consciousness about writing stories with NSFW elements in them. Starting out, I was so extremely shy and mortified about writing fic at all, much less things like hugging or (god forbid!) kissing. So taking on the smut prompts I took this year and really buckling down on learning to write the mechanics and emotions of sex has been a massive learning experience. (And sorry, by the way, if I haven’t gotten to a prompt you sent me in January yet. I do intend to write all of them eventually!) 
18. current number of WIPs
Ah. The call-out question. My general fic process is idea -> outline -> wip -> edit -> ready to post (where the final draft sits in my docs until I gin up the courage to actually post it). So skipping fics that are just “ideas” on the big mega-list, I have 3 fics in the “outline” stage, 13 fics in the partially written “wip” stage, 1 fic in the “editing” stage, and 2 that are complete but yet-to-be-posted. So, like, 19 total in the offing. (The “ideas” list is even worse lol.)
21. most memorable comment/review
This is such a difficult question because every single comment I get makes me do a little dance for joy. That’s not an exaggeration btw I really sit there and like bounce around in my seat for a moment before I open the Ao3 email. I am not an especially emotive person irl, but there have been times I’ve been brought near tears by comments. I’ll also occasionally show them to my wife like !! look at this nice thing this person said !! and she’s indulgent enough to actually read them. There have been a couple comments that have really stuck with me, that I starred in my inbox and return to frequently, but I don’t want to bring attention to someone else without their permission. I will say there was one person recently who mentioned (not in the comments on one of my fics) that they had found someone who does physical binding of fanfiction and they were about to ask my permission to do that, but then the person who does the binding only does certain ships that she likes ... so that, just, absolutely floored me. The idea that someone might actual want a physical copy of my stupid little ninja fanfictions is, like, so truly immense and completely overwhelming?
24. favorite fic you read this year
You can’t make me pick just one!! (For reference, I have bookmarked right around 180 fics in the past year, and that’s not including fics that I just read, really enjoyed, but didn’t think I could ‘handle’ a second time around.) So, skipping over the ones that AREN’T Naruto ... here is a brief sampling of some faves:
Silica by deepestbluest (rated E, GaaLee, ShikaTema, and Kankiba) - An absolute emotional powerhouse of a fic that manages to skillfully interweave three complex relationship dynamics, satisfactorily resolve them, and give you ALL the sandsibs feels in just over 10k words. 
Childhood Not-Friends (series) by MegaWallflower (rated G, KakaGai) - @megawallflower is a KakaGai god for good reason. Absolutely adorable relationship development fics (five of them!) with the premise that Kakashi thinks he and Gai have been dating since they were kids ... Gai just hasn’t been clued into it yet. These stories will give you heart-eyes.
The Bright Side by gidget_goes (rated T, GaaLee) - This is the Buffy AU I never knew I needed, because I’ve never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But truly you don’t need any Buffy knowledge to enjoy this fic. @gidget-goes command of imagery is masterful, and the way they manage to snap from snark to tugging at your heartstrings is awe-inspiring. Gaara breaks my heart in this. And did I mention Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat? Because Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat. 
Nature vs. Nurture by Bidiza (rated T, GaaLee) - So introspective and so poetic. This looks like a WIP but it’s actually multiple oneshots, although by the end of the second one you’ll be dying for the rest of the promised series. 
I’m a Fool to Want You by BeelieveRosemarie (rated M, GaaLee) - Turns out @tuttiefruttiegaalee isn’t just an amazing artist, they’re a writer, too! Slow-dancing that will break your heart. Listen to the Frank Sinatra song while you read this for extra tear-jerking effect.
Let Love be Known (series) by TenTomatoes (rated G, GaaLee) - This is the twist on the arranged marriage trope and Beauty and the Beast that I didn’t realize this fandom was missing. I’m absolutely obsessed with their concept of Gaara as the Beast
I Could Be by LilacNoctua (rated T, GaaLee) - I know I big up @lilac-writes Worthwhile series a lot (deservedly so, because it’s so good it makes you look at the series and go “Why the fuck didn’t Kishimoto make this canon exactly like this?”), but this story made me absolutely die between the butterflies in my stomach and how hard I was laughing. There’s one line--you’ll know it when you read it--that absolutely bowls me over every time I re-read this. 
And Then Continue by EgregiousDerp (rated E, GaaLee) - Obviously I’m biased because this was a gift, but @egregiousderp writes some of the the best characterized porn I’ve ever read. You will read this and go “Wow! This is exactly how it would happen!” It’s such a tender, beautiful exploration of Gaara’s insecurities and a very real feeling first time, for all its soft edges. 
Cake by citronelle (rated E, KanKiba) - I don’t even know what to say about this one other than ... phew, this is extremely well written, extremely hot, and extremely in character. Just read it. I promise it’s worth it. 
Saudade by YumKiwiDelicious (rated M, GaaLee) - I’ve run around reccing this to just about every person on the face of the earth at this point. If you’re in the GaaLee Discord you probably saw everyone salivating over every new update of this fic and with good reason. The twists and turns of this fic will have you on the edge of your seat, second guessing every single moment. And it will break your heart in the meantime. What more could you want?
the love potion commotion by floating_cats (rated T, NejiSasu with background GaaLee) - One of those fics where you wish the author’s sense of humor was your own. So many hilarious moments in this story, and it brought me a new appreciation for a ship I never would have even considered. 
Finger Lickin’ Good by whazzername (rated E, GaaLee) - Whazz is another one of those authors where I literally want to rec every single thing she’s ever written, she’s just that good. (Speaking of which, if you haven’t read Fools Rush In and its sequel Degrees of Separation, you’re missing out on the best possible Metal origin story of all time. Don’t deprive yourself of this.) But this story is just ... so incredibly in character for a situation that reads like crack. It’s handled with the utmost straight-facedness and it’s so. freakin’. good. 
heart lines by winterberry_holly (rated M, NejiTen and GaaLee) - I don’t even have the words to describe how perfect this fic is. It’s a truly beautiful exploration of Tenten’s relationship with her palmistry hobby and with the people in her life. My heart ached with every single line. 
Standing on Ceremony by kuroashi (rated E, GaaLee) - This is just ... such a beautiful wedding story. So lovely, like getting the best possible warm hug from someone you love. If that love one was slightly strange and socially inept, because, well. It’s still Gaara doing Gaara-things. @baphometsss is another one of those authors whose handling of smut scenes is so stupendous it makes me wildly jealous. 
Thrall by RokiRiot (rated T, GaaLee) - Idiots-to-lovers with a magic AU twist! This is such a wonderful story, and Gaara’s internal monologue is absolutely amazing. And Lee is Deaf in this fic, which I never ever get to see and which absolutely made my entire day/week/month/life. 
Make-Out Consequences by LuxaLucifer (rated M, KakaGai with background canon Boruto ships) - I laughed so hard reading this that I had to take a breather to stop crying. That’s not an exaggeration. The characterization in this fic is impeccable and the humor is to die for. Naruto’s buffoonery truly shines here, and the author’s wit is just beyond anything I could even properly summarize. Hysterical. A++. 
Thirteen Strokes by Luna_Lee (rated T, GaaLee) - Again, like, if you aren’t reading literally everything @sagemoderocklee writes, are you even really a GaaLee fan? But this fic is beyond even for one of Eeri’s incredibly excellent writings. The worldbuilding in this, the cultural notes, the imagery ... it’s all so lush and so fulfilling and so beautiful. It’s a story about love and it’s a story that you can tell has love poured into every single line. I can’t recommend it enough. 
Checkmate by shadowstrangle (rated G, GaaLee) - The pettiness vibes ... this is so funny. Such a cute story and I love Gaara’s sense of humor here. Not a lot of writers give him a sense of humor, but I love how @shadowstrangle gives him a slightly odd, slightly left-of-center take on humor that still manages to be so funny. 
To Court a Village by FanFictionEngineer (rated G, GaaLee) - Another one where my bias is perhaps slightly obvious, but the premise of this fic is amazing. I love cultural misunderstandings, and the idea of Lee trying his hardest to court Gaara ineptly is just so perfect. 
affliction of feeling by theformerone (rated E, SakuHina) - One of those ships that it would never have occurred to me to seek out but that absolutely works with how the author’s set it up. The dynamics here are delicious. It’s so rare to find good F/F porn but this is one of them for sure. 
Tried and Tested by twentysomething (Rated M, KakaIru with background canon Boruto ships and GaaLee) - Iruka’s narration in this story is just incredible. I haven’t laughed this hard reading a fic in ages. And the concept alone (that Naruto can’t be promoted to Hokage until he passes his chuunin exams ... as an adult ... and Sasuke gets dragged along for the ride) is just brilliant. Amazing concept, amazingly executed. 
a fireside waltz by winterberry_holly (rated M, GaaLee) - I really tried not to rec a single author more than once here but for this one I had to. I got about halfway through this fic and immediately started running around ringing the town crier bell like READ THIS FIC! READ THIS FIC! An absolutely smoldering Regency AU with such beautiful, intimate dance scenes. My heart was racing every single time their fingers brushed. If you don’t read anything else on this list, at the very least read this. 
27. favorite fanfic author of the year
I really can’t pick just one. I am lucky enough that @egregiousderp passes me her drafts under the table before (or without) publishing, and getting to read those is a private treat of unparalleled proportions. Some of my favorite things I’ve read this year I can’t even rec because they’re her unpublished stuff. 
30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year
This is gonna come off strange because I just wrote such a long Naruto reclist, but I recently watched What We Do in the Shadows, and found an incredibly talented group of authors in that fandom with really amazingly good dialogue and narrative voice. I also read a lot of fic for the new It movies (even though I couldn’t watch the 2nd one for ~reasons~), and damn if there isn’t a talented crop of authors in that fandom, too. And finally with ATLA making its way onto Netflix, I had the chance to start watching that for the first time and found a ton of really good fic there as well! 
fanfic end of the year asks!
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buckwilson · 4 years ago
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what i’ve done in 2020
Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works (fics, art, edits, etc.) you’ve created this year and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2020. If you don’t have five published works, that’s fine! Include ideas/drafts/whatever you like that you’ve worked on/thought about, and talk a little about them instead! Remember, this is all about self-love and positive enthusiasm, so fuck the rules if you need to. Have fun, and tag as many fellow creators as you like so they can share the love! <3
thanks for the tag @blacklavenderjade and @honestlyfrance !!! i didn’t do that much this year, but i do have some favorites out of the stuff that i have done!
1. how endgame should’ve ended is #1 as it was one of my first real attempts at editing/getting familiar with photoshop. there are literally like 20 psds on my laptop of me just trying to figure out how things worked lol. it was also one of my first edits with heavy altercations (erasing old steve from the original screencaps, moving the shield so it was next to sam, moving sam’s head positions, etc.)
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2. sambucky social media au #1 is second not for any particular reason, i just really liked the first one a little more. this was in the works since... march maybe? and it started out as just instagram profiles for both sam and bucky (and steve, tony, and peter at one point too) before i decided to make it a little more in depth. it was a Lot of fun coming up with backstories for all of the posts as i added pictures in, and i can’t wait to continue this au in 2021!!
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3. sambucky western au moodboard is next because i’m really excited to continue working on this au (which will most likely be a lil comic!!!) next year. i only created/posted this to give a sort of background for the character design sketches i’m eventually gonna post. 
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4. boys sharing some fruit is an absolute favorite of mine oh my gosh!!! it was the first drawing of mine that i shared on here, and the very little feedback i got made me so excited!! it goes along with my trans sambucky headcanons (and will most likely get its own fic if i ever work up the courage to write again sksjdks)
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5. last but not least, my trans bucky barnes headcanons!! they weren’t as popular as my trans samsteve headcanons, but they’re really a personal favorite of mine <3 it was purely just self indulgent, and was mainly inspired by another short fic i wrote but never worked up the courage to post
i’m probably not gonna tag anyone because it’s probably already 2021 for most of y’all, but feel free to do this if you see it/if you want to!!
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langblrwhy · 4 years ago
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New Year’s Goals
June
(Yes, june, I'm sorry)
I didn't made a lot of topics this month, but I'm happy because the topics I did are in my routine now, I don't need to put effort to make me doing new stuff, eating variety of food, studying, watching movies, reading, etc. That's one of the reason why I did this list, to improve on my daily life.
Now I just need to put effort to get used to actively study languages and exercise.
1 Try 2 new foods every month (food, beverage, recipe)
I ate beet, Kıbrıs Tatlısı (Cyprus Dessert Cake, but popular on Turkey, I cooked and it's delicious)
I ate açai with fried fish and it's so so, maybe if I had the original açai, it would be better. This is a recipe from Pará, north of Brazil.
Also I'm happy because I've been eating more healthier stuff, more vegetables and leaves in my everyday life (that's one my goals in this topic).
2 Be fluent in esperanto and active in the community
I've been writing in esperanto, I created a twitter to post only in esperanto (follow @raissinha_eo xoxo) and I translated the wiki page about vaporwave into esperanto (I didn't create the page, but I added a lot)
3 Practice having conversations via audio and video
I've been practing almost every week.
4 Write a 10k fiction in french and publish it on Wattpad
I didn’t.
5 Try to study russian again and focus on the basic
I didn’t.
6 Watch a movie every week
1. Surplus: Terrorized Into Being Consumers (Sweden, 2003)
2. Plastic Ocean (UK, Hong Kong 2016) (my favorite one, great doc about the problem of plastic!)
3. Lady Bird (USA, 2017)
4. May Fools/Milou en Mai (France, Italy, 1990)
7 Read 5 books
I finished my second book: The Bell Jar (by Sylvia Plath), I'm in the half of Morangos Mofados (by Caio Fernando Abreu) and I started Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
I've been reading almost everyday before sleeping or just after waking up in the morning and I feel great.
8 Finalize 1 art every month (it doesn’t have to be good, just finished)
I've been finalizing almost everyday (and they're good)!
9 Doing some exercise every week
I was rationalizing why I haven't done any exercises in 3 months, 90 days without no exercises.
I learned something about me: when I go for a walk, I do because I relax, I sunbath, it's a means of transport and I can go to the supermarket AND I do to feel pretty.
On the other hand, all the times (since ever) I made exercises at home I did only to feel pretty. I don't care about this right now, since nobody will see me.
So I need to resignificate the "exercises at home".
I rationalized all of this 2 weeks ago, but I didn't found the courage to do something about it yet lmao.
(I can't even hold my cat without panting)
10 Try to make listening podcasts an habit
I’ve been listen to them while I do some art, it’s almost in my routine now, that’s exactly what I wanted 2.0
-Bonus: Learn toki pona
I want to cut this topic. I was all excited at january because I met some "jan pi toki pona" anu "jan mute li toki toki pona" (I don't know how to write because I don't study, SORRY), but I don't care that much anymore. For sure the future me would be grateful to learn when I see others tokiponists, and I love the idea of the language... So I'll leave this topic as a bonus.
11 Write a fiction in esperanto
Almost nothing.
12 Try 1 new thing per month
I started doing digital art on Adobe Illustrator, it's been great and I want to tests other programs in the near future.
13 Interact on virtual groups (telegram, tumblr, whatever)
I've been interacting on twitter, I created a twitter to post only in esperanto, cool, but I need more effort.
(Actually I forgot what is the point here, new webfriends? Esperanto community? Share my art? No idea lol)
14 Be more proactice and publish my stuff somewhere online (draw, fiction, whatever)
I've been posting all my good art on instagram and almost everything on twitter, aka everyweek.
BUT I should publish my FICTIONS, I need to focus on this.
-Finish all duolingo tasks by the end of the year
I was on 107 day streak, doing awful. I didn't care about this anymore, everyday at around 11:52pm I was like doing the lessons ONLY to not lose the streak. I don't feel that duolingo is the best method to learn my target languages right now, I know more than the basic, and I need to actively study.
So I deleted the app and will risk this, I'm RELIEVED.
15 Sketch every week
Skething every other day, practing new stuff, etc 2.0
16 Study spanish, focusing on write, listen and speak
I watch random vlogs on youtube, not enough and I'm sorry.
17 Study french, focusing on write, listen and speak
I DIDN'T.
WHY NOT???
(the answer is: because I don't know french, if I knew, I would watch youtube videos and write a sapphic fiction aka STUDY. But I don't know enough french so I won't study [more])
Again: I need to improve
18 Study whatever theories (such as astronomy, lingustics, ecology, whatever)
I have an anarchprimitivist enthusiast friend and I started reading stuff about it, the first movie I watched this month (Surpus) was about it.
I also watched the documentary about plastic.
I need to do better, I know.
Right now I'm in the vibe to study about politics and economy, I just need to START (maybe with podcasts or easy books!).
19 Study for vestibular (mathematics, physics, geography, philosophy, sociology, biology, chemistry, history, english, portuguese, brazilian literature)
I've been reading books (not the brazilian literature I need, but it helps per se), I've watched a couple videos about sociology and biology, but I need to do BETTER.
13/19 = 68%
(Need to do better)
You know what? I'm the only one who is holding me to get at best version possible, I'm doing great and I'm happy for this. Even though we're living in a pandemic, my country is the second worst in a global scale (greeting from Brazil), I've never been happier and I truly think it's because of this list, because it focus on a health mind, health body, knowledge, hobbies, friends and future source of income (since I want to work selling my art online).
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blehbleehhhh · 5 years ago
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It Started in an Alleyway (ft. EreMika🖤)
idkwhatimdoingsometimes: "Eremika kissing in an alleyway to hide from people chasing them❤️❤️❤️❤️" It’s so funny to me that two of your requests were published back to back xD I swear I didn’t do that intentionally, just a happy coincidence. Anyway, this one is short, lol. Hope it's good and what you were looking for. Thanks for the request! ☺️ Not sure if I should put a trigger warning or not, but here it is anyway just in case.
"Sheesh, could you attract any more attention tonight?"
"Shut up." Mikasa rolls her eyes at her childhood best friend Eren and they exchange smiles as they both take a decent swig of their liquid courage. The pair decided to end what had been a very long week of classes with some drinks at one of the local campus bars and catch up. It had been three days since they've seen each other after all, which isn't that unusual, but something seems to be drawing them together more so than normal. "Nobody's even looking at me, Eren, you're just being overprotective again." She giggles at his lighthearted groan of annoyance and punches her fist into his shoulder, filling their little table area with his contagious laughter.
"Ow, what the hell?!" Eren smiles as he places a protective hand on his aching shoulder. "Yeah, well, I've caught those four scumbags back at the pool table checking you out dozens of times now."
"Should I feel flattered?"
"I mean, it does seem a bit excessive."
"Then I guess I'm offended."
"You're annoyingly fluid in sarcasm, you know that?"
"Yeah, when I'm with you."
"Oh, okay," Eren laughs and ignores the butterflies from her wide, toothy grin. "I see how it is."
"Meh, Eren, you're not my brother..." She chuckles as she takes a sip of her drink and nearly spits it out when he looks away with an obvious smile. Mikasa bursts into giggles as he looks to her and rolls his incredible eyes, swallowing the rest of his drink in two solid gulps.
"Mocking people is rude, Mikasa. Don't be a bully."
"Heh, oh come on! Don't be a party pooper, Eren!"
"I'll dump all over your party, okay?" The young twenty somethings laugh together as his eyes fall over her shoulder once more. There's just something incredibly off about these guys that have been checking her out, particularly the one who hasn't taken his eyes off her since she sat down. And she's definitely a stunner, there's no denying that. Hell, even Eren finds himself doing a double take whenever she's in the room. But still. He thinks to himself, immediately horrified when he notices that same guy is now standing up and walking over to their table despite clearly being at least five years her senior. Come on man, what are you, 30? It's disturbing how much more interested he is in getting to her than the young man standing up in protest who can definitely be threatening when he wants to be.
"I've been watching you from afar and I gotta say, I like what I see." The strange scumbag says to her and she looks up slowly from her drink, giving him the typical expression that her friend always sees when she's not at all interested in a conversation.
"And you are?" Mikasa raises an eyebrow as she looks away and casually stirs her drink with its straw.
"I'm more interested in who you are, baby girl."
"Hey," Eren growls. "That's not your baby girl and she clearly isn't interested. So why don’t you fuck off?”
"I think this pretty little thing can answer for herself." The guy says as he places his hand on her lower back, making Mikasa's expression immediately change to alarmed.
"Don't talk about her like that. Get your hands off her, you fucking creep!" Eren forces his chair away from the bar table and marches up to the stranger with his hands already in tight fists at his sides. He'll always fight for this woman, no matter what happens to him.
"What are you, her boyfriend?"
"No, can't I just protect a good friend?"
"Aw, nobody needs protecting here, right baby?" The stranger says as his hand wanders down her back and her cheeks flush bright red. But he didn't reach the intended destination because there was suddenly a powerful fist slamming into his jaw, and a decent crack. "Oh! You are gonna regret doing that!" The other three men by the pool table turn around and slowly start to close in, and it's only then that the two friends realize how much danger they're actually in.
Fuck.
"Run, Mika!" Eren grabs her by the hand and she drops her glass as they bolt out of the side door before more of that guy's friends could possibly show up. He turns his head briefly to look over his shoulder while they run as soon as he hears that door open once more. "Shiiiiiit!" They lace their fingers together for a tighter grip and sprint down the road until there's a choice between side streets, hoping that the bad guys would choose incorrectly. The pair run through puddles and Mikasa gets water in her flats as she's pulled down another long side street while horrible slurs are hollered at her from the group of guys her best friend picked a protective fight with. Once he was moderately satisfied that they weren't in immediate danger because the others seemed far enough behind them now, he decided to pull her on the opposite side of a tall dumpster. There's no way they'll see them standing here, especially with how dark it is in the alleyway. Mikasa leans her head around the corner of the dumpster when she hears a group of footsteps running passed the corridor and he panics, grabbing her by the upper arm to pull her backward. But he accidentally brought the girl right into his arms in just the perfect way so that her hands land on his chest and breaths mingle softly between their lips because they're that close. And yet neither of them could move, almost as if fate had brought the pair to this exact moment and there was a magnetic draw. Then it finally happened; he kissed her, and his lips lingered just long enough for her to quickly catch on. She leans into him slightly as she kisses him back and he wraps his arms around her waist. Eren carefully leans back against the brick wall behind him and they smile as they become more comfortable with this new act and kiss much faster. Suddenly, a group of footsteps could be heard running passed once more, but their only reaction was to deepen their kiss as not to make noise. Without a doubt it was those guys searching for the young man who just clocked their leader hard enough in the jaw to crack it. Eren pulls his lips away slightly and gently rests his forehead against hers. "Fuck it, you wanna go out?"
"Will you call me baby?"
"I'll call you whatever you want."
"Then yes," She chuckles to herself as she lovingly rubs the tip of her nose against his, making him laugh just loud enough for her to hear. "I thought you'd never ask." And when he tightened his hold around her waist, she bit her lip to fight her tipsy laughter from becoming too loud. Mikasa moans softly into his mouth as he crashes his lips to hers, more than happy to be making out with the only man that she has ever loved. She wraps her arms around his neck to deepen their kiss as he slides one hand up to the middle of her back and ensures that he keeps the other above her belt. At long last they're together, an official couple.
Who would have thought it would all start in an alleyway?
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revol-lover · 4 years ago
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dreams don’t end at “30″
so i just had a little breakthrough and maybe this wont sound like anything to anyone else but i just have to share it
so i’ve talked about this before. about how my friend and i were both planning these personal development like goals for this year that covid got in the way of. and he said something, about how this is his last year in his 20s and he wanted to get some goals accomplished before 30 
and i thought about that and realized something.
i have been feeling similarly about a few goals that i’ve been hanging onto for years and years. like i’m going to be honest with you, some people might remember this if you’ve been around here for a long time but probably not. anyway when i was in high school i really wanted to make music, sing, learn an instrument. and i did make some covers that i posted on myspace (showing my age here lol) and youtube but then i kind of gave up on it when
 1) became 18 and realized my dream to go to NYC and pursue music when i was 18 wasn’t happening because of a million reasons (it was very much a pipe dream, right? i mean you can’t have that dream and not prepare for it and i didnt. also i was too scared at the time to even move out to my own place if i had the funds to do so because my parents wouldnt have really approved and i was still so under their thumb) 
2) broke up with my musician boyfriend. which needed to happen. but he was the only person super passionate about that kind of goal at the time around me (till he ran lol)  and he actually is still doing music now so good for him but basically 
because of those 2 reasons i just let go of that dream all together as something i thought i wanted to do but was “unrealistic”.
but the thing about turning 30 and feelings like you needed to achieve all these personal/dreamy/goals in your 20s. what is that bullshit? why? 
what changes when you cross over to 30? i’ll tell you one thing. media pushes movies, books, films, everything about people chasing their dreams in their 20s and “settling” down in their 30s. where’s my inspiring movie about the 32 year old mom who finally wrote a song and performed it live after being terrified her whole life of doing so?
 think about it though
in your 30s you. *might* have a better paying job than you did in your 20s. which means, if you can manage to find time or a way for it, you *might* be able to save a little more money or afford to do something like, buy that guitar and guitar lessons in order to learn to play and write a song and live out your dream in some way, even if its just learning to play so you can play at an open mic. and maybe you’ll like that and you’ll somehow connect with likeminded people and form a band. idk. your dreams dont have to end in your 20s. 
you dont have to fall into the trap of your 20s are for your dreams that are so big you feel like the chance of achieving them is getting struck by lightening
and then your 30s are for fancy adult goals like buying a house, and going on a $10k vacation and those things are probably just as hard as the goals you had in your 20s but the world wont make you see it that way. its seen as “selfish” to prioritize and budget for your artistic goals - but not a house. no that’s responsible and what you “should” do. but its ok to prioritize something that’s going to give your soul fulfillment too! we need to believe that! because it’s true. we are not here just to work our jobs and live mundane colorless lives once we aren’t considered “young” anymore (but 30s are still young. not what i’m saying)
 you’re always going to be chasing something big and if you let the world control what that thing is you’re always going to be on some rat race. 
it’s fine if you achieve your goals in a different order than the world says you were supposed to. i got married young and had a child young, that was how my life played out and i’m happy with that because, yes, finding love and becoming a mother very much were goals of mine.
yes i dropped out of college because i couldn’t afford it and i couldnt find a major that felt worth being in debt for. and also, because hey guess what? contrary to what a lot of people will try to lead you to believe, college is not for everyone. and college does not = success. college drop out does not = failure. it’s just an option of something you could do with your life. AND if you didn’t go to your college in your 20s it doesnt mean you can’t in your 30s. or 50s. hell my husband, who did go to college saw elderly (think, 80s!) people going to his college as students! college isn’t just for 18 year olds fresh out of high school. 
My 27th birthday is in 2 weeks and no, i have not yet to worked up the courage to write an original song from words to music, or have the courage to get on a stage and sing anything, or talk to a stranger, or publish any of my writing or art, goals i’ve had whirling around in my brain since I was 18, but, it’s going to happen. maybe this year. maybe when i’m 35, but it’s going to happen. a number is not going to be the thing holding me back.
that whole mentality of “my youth is slipping away i need to achieve all these dreams before midnight the day of my 30th birthday” is so stupid and flawed and we all deserve to see ourselves, and our individual potential as more than that. 
last part of this rant - one of the reason i even became so passionate about reignighting some of my dusty, old goals, that it turned out, i still cared about, is because i had a moment where i was like
ok i am a mom. i am someones mom. how will my daughter see me, as a person, not just her mom? 
kevin and i always talk about how between the two of us we’ve both had a lot of quintessential young adult experiences that we look forward to sharing with her. like, quitting jobs, getting in car accidents, that one time i unknowingly participated in an illegal bonfire and ran from the cops then lied straight to their faces and somehow got away with it (literally my ONE act of teen rebellion), changing college majors like 3 years in (kevin), failed classes, tried cigarettes, etc like i’m ready, and hope that one day she will feel comfortable talking to us about things because we’ve been through things and have a lot of input and two different perspectives to offer
but further than that, i realized that i want her to know that her mom is a person too. i want her to know that mom is also passionate about writing, and music, and somehow tackled some of her goals in regards to that so that SHE can feel that SHE, too can do those things. and i know that, that is in part how it works 
because,
my dad IS an artist. my dad IS a musician. yall. my dad is SO talented.  my dad is brilliant. besides his artistic abilities which include, drawing literal realistic as fuck portraits, sculpting, painting, playing guitar, bass, piano, mandolin, he also knows music composition, etc etc etc beyond all of that, he also taught himself fucking PLUMBING and ELECTRICIAN SHIT to fix things in our house growing up. like he bought a book. and taught himself. my dad. i grew up thinking that was normal but i realized not everyones dad can just tear down the bathroom and rebuild it from scratch down to the plumbing without being a licensed professional.
but anyway the point is - as talented as my dad is, he doesnt really pursue his artistic dreams much. and its sad. i’m glad that i’ve seen some of the work he did when he was younger. i’m glad that if i bring it up, he’ll show me something he can do. but he doesnt pursue it anymore really. my dad works an exhausting physical labor job but even he, as a 50something year old has fallen into that trap of like, i dont have time to draw, but he will scroll his phone and read articles for hours and i’m not shaming him. i’m just saying we all have this problem in the modern era of technology and social media and what not (hell i am writing a post on tumblr instead of my book right now).
but if timing was different and my dad grew up in a different time, where lets say something distracted him from doing the little bit of art and music that he did when i was a kid that i was able to witness, if i hadnt seen that. i wouldnt know that.. in a way.. that’s in me. i mean, he’s my dad. if my dad could pick up a craft and work at it to be good at it, why can’t i? there are so many musicians and (kind unrelated but not rly - i think being “self made” is an art) business owners in my family. there’s either some common thread in our genetics ORRRRRRRRRR just growing up around people working at and succeeding at those kinds of goals shows you that it CAN be done so you’re more likely to believe in your abilities
and i want that for my daughter. because even as an almost 3 year old i can see that she has a gift for music, and reading. and even if i’m wrong about that and she grows up wanting to do some other thing as a job or hobby, i want her to know, by seeing her mom do it, that she can achieve anything she puts her heart to. you don’t have to box yourself in because of your age or your sex or the fact that you’re a parent. 
and your dream doesnt have to become your career. it can be a hobby and still be fulfilling. like yes, 18 year old me dreamed about some life in nyc singing in clubs or bars or whatever and being ~famous (lol) and that did not happen, but i can still get out there and play open mic downtown and get that love of music, and desire to face my fear of performing out of my system. maybe i’ll love it. maybe i’ll hate it. but i’ll have done it. and that’s the ultimate goal. 
sorry i went off but i had to get that out of my system and i’m very passionate about 
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piratequeenofpixies · 6 years ago
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11/11/11 Tag Game, Part 2
Thanks for the re-tag, @writingonesdreams!
Rules: Answer eleven (11) questions, tag eleven (11) people, and ask eleven (11) questions.
1. How much of your writing is influenced by your daily life (i.e., does what happened during the day affect what and how you write)?
My writing for my WIPs isn’t much affected by everyday life other than bad days meaning I may write less or not at all. But a lot of my original writing prompts (I post them occasionally; I posted quite a few when I first started this writeblr) are inspired by everyday life or by a tangent my mind launched off on because of everyday life :)
2. How much of you is inside your characters?
Um. A lot? I guess it really depends on what angle you’re looking at. For example my OC Embyr from my WIP Of Stones and Shadows doesn’t look or act at all like me, but the lesson I learned a while back about stepping out and becoming a leader is something I’ve written into her and her story: it’s something she needs to learn to achieve her goals. Of course, a lot of what I want to be is embodied in my characters: brave, protective, loyal, and all that. :)
3. Do you start writing from the beginning or somewhere else?
Haha. Usually I write in a rather scattered, unorganized fashion: I just write whatever scene I’m really interested in/passionate about at that particular moment. Sometimes I wish I’d write more in order, but I guess there’s no need to fix my method(s) if they’re not broken, right?
4. What is the most difficult for you about writing?
Right now, keeping a consistent voice within each WIP. I’ve been switching back and forth between “Jack” and Of Stones and Shadows lately and struggling as a result.
5. What is the hardest part about creating characters for you?
Deciding on the perfect name--ayyyy, there are so many options!--and keeping a balance between symbolism/irony and common sense XD I downloaded a baby-names app on my phone recently, which I now use all. The. Time. Seriously, it’s super helpful.
6. What are the themes of your WIP and what do they mean to you?
Of Stones and Shadows has strong themes of family, courage, and leadership, all of which are very important to me. Family is the most important to me, because a) I have been blessed with a large, loving family I would do anything for and b) I have so many friends and acquaintances (and hear plenty of stories) with bad family situations and/or relationships, so it’s very important to me that I portray both sides of the coin in my writing: both good and bad family situations/relationships exist, and I want to memorialize that in my writing, in a way. (Does that make sense at all? lol) Courage and leadership are also important to me (see my answer to #2).
7. What books/movies/series/whatever inspired or influenced your current WIP the most?
Of Stones and Shadows was inspired by Shari L. Tapscott’s Pippi of Lauramore and Brandon Mull’s Beyonders series, primarily.
8. What would be the biggest appreciation of your work for you?
Um, definitely art. It absolutely blows my mind that other people might care enough about my WIP and characters to draw/paint/whatever them OoO
9. Why did you choose to write this WIP and not something else? What’s so special about it?
I chose to write Of Stones and Shadows because of the way it’s innermost message--that of becoming a leader--really resonates with me, given its birth in my own life and its importance to me personally. “Jack” I started writing on a whim, tabled, and pulled back out because I had a sudden spurt of inspiration  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
10. What kind of scenes do you not want to write/don’t enjoy writing but can’t get around them?
Some...sexier scenes are harder for me to write but just really fit with the plot and characters and are simply necessary. As a conservative Christian I can’t help but have reservations about writing these kinds of scenarios--I don’t write erotica or sex scenes or anything but you get what I mean--but I do my best to, well, do my best. :)
11. What part of the writing process is your favorite (coming up with the idea, thinking, outlining, researching, writing itself, editing, reading what you have written, etc.)?
Coming up with the idea, definitely. That requires daydreaming, which I could probably get a PhD in, and I enjoy it way. Too. Much. If I ever don’t respond to a text, email, or even actually speaking, I’m probably daydreaming lol
Tagging anyone who wants to participate :)
My eleven (11) questions (same as original post):
What is an example of symbolism or deeper meaning within your WIP that was totally unintended?
How long did you plan and/or outline your WIP before beginning to write in earnest?
Which genre is your favorite to read?
Which genre is your favorite to write? (Bonus: If your answers differ for #3 and 4, then explain why!)
Have you published any of your works (short stories, novellas, novels, poetry, etc.)?
What is the foremost idea and/or lesson you would like readers to gain/learn from your WIP?
What is the most painful criticism of your writing you have ever received and why? (Bonus: Did it ultimately help you?)
Who was the first person to read any of your creative writing?
Does your passion for writing extend to essays and research papers?
Do you see yourself entering a career field in future that involves writing? If so, what?
What inspired you to create a writeblr?
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bforbookslut · 7 years ago
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ARC Review: The Fire Queen by Emily R King
This book was provided to me by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This review edition is an ARC and may differ from the final edition.
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I have given The Fire Queen by Emily R King a ☆☆☆☆ rating. It is Book 2 of The Hundredth Queen series. It belongs to the Young Adult Fantasy genre with some Romance elements. Skyscape publishes it. It was published September 26, 2017.
The blurb reads:
In the second book in The Hundredth Queen Series, Emily R. King once again follows a young warrior queen’s rise to meet her destiny in a richly imagined world of sorcery and forbidden powers.
Though the tyrant rajah she was forced to marry is dead, Kalinda’s troubles are far from over. A warlord has invaded the imperial city, and now she’s in exile. But she isn’t alone. Kalinda has the allegiance of Captain Deven Naik, her guard and beloved, imprisoned for treason and stripped of command. With the empire at war, their best hope is to find Prince Ashwin, the rajah’s son, who has promised Deven’s freedom on one condition: that Kalinda will fight and defeat three formidable opponents.
But as Kalinda’s tournament strengths are once again challenged, so too is her relationship with Deven. While Deven fears her powers, Ashwin reveres them—as well as the courageous woman who wields them. Kalinda comes to regard Ashwin as the only man who can repair a warring world and finds herself torn between her allegiance to Deven and a newly found respect for the young prince.
With both the responsibility to protect her people and the fate of those she loves weighing heavily upon her, Kalinda is forced again to compete. She must test the limits of her fire powers and her hard-won wisdom. But will that be enough to unite the empire without sacrificing all she holds dear?
Add to Goodreads | Amazon | Goodreads | Instagram | Avery’s Reviews
This is a little later than I would like, mostly because I completely got all my dates mixed up. Also, like the overachiever I am, I picked up way more books than I could handle and the chase to read all of them is exhausting.
I am still trying out my new review format and I think I do like this style better. It’s more organised thoughts but not so rigid that it’s difficult to read. Do let me know what you think about this way of reviewing and if you’d prefer my old style! As always, my reviews may contain spoilers. I say may because what’s a spoiler to you may not be a spoiler for me.
Verdict:
You know how they say that it’s always darkest before the storm? Well, that’s very true of The Fire Queen. It was a fast-paced joy ride that kept me glued to the pages long into the night and well past my sleeping time (yes, I’m twenty-three. I have a bedtime!). It was that good and finally, well-deserving of its four stars.
In case you didn’t know it, I absolutely hated The Fire Queen’s predecessor, The Hundredth Queen. I gave it a scathing review that would blister anyone’s ears. I’m not going to lie. There’s still enough cultural appropriation in this one to make my eyes roll to the back of my head but I didn’t want to throw the book into the fire and watch it burn, baby, burn.
The Fire Queen is more Catching Fire and The Hunger Games as Kali faces another competition which she is forced into. But, unlike the first competition in which she fought for her life and to be Rajah Tarek’s wife, this time, she is fighting to be Rajah Tarek’s son, Prince Ashwin’s wife. Yeah, twisted, I know. But more than being Ashwin’s kindred, Kali will keep her throne and her responsibility to the empire that worships and adores her as the hundredth kindred.
Some might find it boring that it’s just another competition, especially one pitting woman against woman. But, King has a beautiful, descriptive and evocative way of writing that just draws you right in and keeps you on the edge of your seat. It’s very fast-paced, almost like watching an action film.
Some have found that the pacing is too quick and to some degree, I do agree. Being fast-paced meant it was an easy and engaging read. But, it also meant that there was little room for character development in anyone other than the two points of view. I wish I could have gotten to know a lot more about the other characters introduced.
One thing that differs in The Fire Queen from its predecessor is that the story is told from two points of view: Kali’s and Deven’s. We are already accustomed to Kali’s thoughts and emotions and I love that we get to see her cope with the emotional aftermath of Tarek’s cruelty and how she sees bits and pieces of the former rajah in his son. It was also great to feel her emotional growth from scared and exhausted, to proud queen.
What was truly annoying was Deven. He was whiny from the very beginning, lamenting about she’s wed to Rajah Tarek and his duty is to his king and that they cannot be together. Furthermore, Deven is constantly rejecting Kali’s identity as a bhuta instead of supporting her. He did this in The Hundredth Queen as well. And even towards the end, he still has not explicitly said that he will stand by her no matter who or what she is.
Also, his point of view served absolutely no purpose. In the end, he did not incite the rebellion, he did not rally his troops, he did not even find out information and deliver it to Kali. Everything revolved around him, nothing really left the military camp in which he was imprisoned. It was incredibly strange. I feel like we could have taken out his parts and the story would be the same.
Speaking of Deven, I absolutely detest that while The Fire Queen, like many other books with strong female protagonists, portrays itself as a feminist novel where she throws off the shackles holding her down, there is always the question of a relationship and worse, marriage hanging over her head. In trying to be progressive, they revert to heteronormativity and traditional gender roles. She must always be married, marriage always comes between them etc.
Another thing that really bugged me about The Fire Queen is the insta-love that Ashwin has for Kali. It’s weird, it’s creepy and frankly, it’s 2017, insta-love should be illegal. There was absolutely no basis for Ashwin to be in love with Kali. They barely know each other. I’m kind of hoping that Ashwin turns out to be a sleaze in the final installment because he seems too good to be true, always doting on Kali and doing everything to make her his kindred. Something seems really off. He’s really gross.
Moving on, I’d definitely love to address the cultural appropriation. If you haven’t read my review of The Hundredth Queen and how much it appropriated Indian culture and religion, I’ve linked it here and above, for good measure. Perhaps King got everything out in The Hundredth Queen as the only appropriation I found was in Indah which in Malay/Indonesian, translates to ‘beautiful’. A fucking cliché, really. Furthermore, Indah’s ruler is Bulan Datu, who in Malay/Indonesian is really supposed to be Datu Bulan. Traditionally and perhaps even historically, he does exist and to just rip a piece out of a culture/nation’s history (whether actual or mythological) is just rude. Emily R. King strikes again.
But cultural appropriation aside, I do really love the relationship Kali has with the women around her. After all, she has always been about sisterhood and her sister warriors. I wish there had been a little more of a relationship between Kali and Natesa; after all, the latter pledged her life to Kali. I do like that Kali wasn’t ready to give Jaya up but to me, that meant betraying Jaya’s memory as she would want Kali not to hold on and instead, comfort and find comfort in others. I also love Kali’s budding friendship with Indah. To be honest, I just love Indah because she is funny and smart and awesome! A direct contrast of Kali’s dark and brooding.
The world building in The Fire Queen is infinitely better than it was in The Hundredth Queen. We definitely do learn a lot more about the world that King has created, including neighbouring countries, their motivations and their cultures. I also love the incorporation of the bhuta powers into Air, Fire, Water and Earth in a classic element against element battle. It reminded me a little of Avatar: The Last Airbender and Korra. This, in my opinion, has led to the development of Kali’s powers and the further discovery of her powers. No spoilers but there’s a fire dragon!
Conclusion:
Some people find that The Fire Queen by Emily R. King is merely a filler book to get Kali to a certain growth point so she can be completely badass in the final instalment. Do I agree? Not really. The whole competition bit definitely felt like a filler because shit happened in the end any way (no spoilers, guys!) but it was also needed to show us how Kali grows into her powers. I loved The Fire Queen and actually closed it with a very satisfied sigh. There are still many, many problems with it but I’m definitely not complaining (my definition of complain is loose lol).
Would I recommend it: Only if you’ve read the first. The Hundredth Queen might not be for everyone.
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howto9jaa · 5 years ago
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How To Be Confident In 3 Smart Ways (+ Videos)
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How To Be Confident In 3 Smart Ways (+ Videos)
Original Post: Click here to read the Original Post
How To Be Confident: Good day! The word “Confident” alone radiates “Confidence”. Your Confidence can take you a long way. I personally draw my confidence from a range of things, I emulate confidence from an actor on TV.
If you are familiar with the TV series “The Last Ship” you’ll know where I am going to already. Tom Chandler is one character that radiates confidence alone. I’m not here to advertise “The Last Ship” but the roles, things
And decisions Captain Chandler made was what saved his ship and the world at large from a lot of troubles. Another famous person whose confidence appeals to me is the famous New Orleans rapper, Lil Wayne.
One of his crazy Punchlines in “Drop The World” featuring Eminem was “Confidence Is A Stain They Can’t Wipe-Off” since the day I got this line in my head, it has been a thing I say to myself from time to time in order to boost my self-confidence.
You also see Lil Wayne’s Confidence in the way he dresses, how he minds his business and how he raps. Lol, this man came out years ago to declare himself the best rapper alive with Mcs like Nas, Jay Z… Browse 😉
You can learn how to be confident from this two characters or from any character or celebrity who radiates confidence.
No matter where you find yourself, you too can be very very confident. Many people mistaken Confidence for Arrogance and I am very sure you aren’t “Many People”.
You’ll see different ways on how to be confident and if you apply the little I have here, it will help in the long run.
What Is “Confidence”?
The first thing we need to do before we learn how to be confident is to understand what we mean by Confidence. MindValley defines confidence as “a person’s ability to believe in themselves and their strength ”
Many times, we mistake Arrogance for Confidence, this is two very different traits, one could mar you the other could make you. Arrogance is over-exaggerated and LOUSY Confidence, while Confidence, on the other hand, is SILENT.
When you are Arrogant, you seek every medium or opportunity to over-exaggerate how good you are at a particular thing, you keep wanting
people to know and appear to be unteachable. Arrogance isn’t the opposite of confidence, it is noisy confidence. A true Confident person
Should possess the trait of HUMILITY and BOLDNESS, above all, a Confident person should know when to allow “Boldness” supersede “Humility” and the reverse. An Arrogant person is all about his ability alone.
As you learn how to be confident, Pride, Arrogance shouldn’t be found on your list.
How To Be Confident
Everything we do, everything we say, every action we take, every decision we make, every choice we make begins in your head. By your head, I mean your mind and that tiny voice that speaks to you. First,
I’ll show you how to THINK confidently, how to APPEAR Confident If you can master these two Sections, you are going to radiate a lot of confidence.
How To Think Confidently
It all starts in the mind, your thoughts become your actions, your actions become your character, your character becomes your way of life, your way of life influences your FUTURE.
As you see tips on how to be confident, understand that everything begins in your head, your mind is the force behind your daily routine.
1. Being Your Master
Now listen, I don’t want you to use this caption to promote laziness. When I say “Being Your Master” I mean YOU in question. You are overweight, you get a lot of mockery in class from colics, etc.
You get home, you look into the mirror, do you love what you see there? If your answer is “Yes”, then let every other person go and Fu*k themselves.
If you don’t love what you see there, then it’s time for you to work on yourself. I have portrayed two results here but both of them are aimed
at YOU being the master of your life. If something about you seems cool, if this cool thing doesn’t hurt anybody in anywhere then do that thing.
You own your damn life. Every other person is but a passer-by on your journey and they have their own journey. A master of self is a master of a lot.
Be bold enough to make your own decisions long as they make you happy without causing anybody pain. Don’t ever allow anybody’s insecurity to push you to do nonsense.
2. Understand Your Weakness
O no! Confidence doesn’t mean you are not vulnerable, Confidence rather means you know every vulnerability in you, you know the vulnerability to accept and you know the one to fight off, confidence also means you know the vulnerability to show and the one to conceal.
One of my Vulnerability is “I don’t do well in relationships”(I wouldn’t explain) I have accepted this fact and I am currently NOT working towards correcting this, I am NOT working because at my age I know Relationships isn’t paramount.
As a confident person, you should know what your weakness is unless you are ready to tackle and fight them off, you should avoid them. Prevention Is Better
Than Cure, you are aware that constantly chatting with your ex will make you fall in love again and you are pretty sure he/she is a toxic person.
You still nurse that soft spot for them and you know it isn’t good for you because of the toxicity that wallows around this ex. You are to avoid anything that will make you chat with them constantly without attaching emotions.
It is, in fact, an act of Confidence and courage for you to boldly walk out of this looming danger. Till when you are ready to work on this weakness “Avoiding” it no matter how appealing it is, is the right thing to do.
3. Note Your Strength
O yeah! The above point was all about your weakness this is about your strength. See, listen to me, you have STRENGTHs you don’t know of, they are things and accolades you have that you
have refused to recognize. I will show you one of your STRENGTHS, the moment you picked up your phone to search the topic “how to be confident” is a
Strength, it means you know what is lacking in you and wish to work on it. So many people out there don’t want to work on themselves, here you are doing just that.
Another of your strength is this, you have read so far from the beginning of this article till here, that is PATIENCE. The world is too noisy today, many people are living in the fast lane,
You have spent almost two minutes on this article, you haven’t left you are still here “That’s Patience” it is a strength. Look back, can you remember when that friend of yours said you have a nice smile? O yes! It is a strength, most times we don’t give ourselves enough credit when due.
I said earlier in my beginning, a confident person knows when to switch “Boldness” for “Humility” this is one of them, be bold enough to note your strengths. Did I mention this? Strength in this context doesn’t mean only things you have, strength also means things
you are working on. Are you trying to start a business? That’s a fuc*ing strength, are you trying to be nice to people who can’t help you? That’s a strength, it is. Now what you are going to do for us(You and I) is you are going to get a pen and paper
You are going to write down every strength you are working on, every strength you have WORKED on, every strength a friend has pointed out, from your cute nails to your cute voice to your handwriting to the way you chew your food, to your past accomplishments. Yes! Everything
Now, let this thing be in your head don’t let it get OVER you just let in be there. I am writing too much here. 😂😂😂😂
4. Destroy Your Obstacles
O yeah! What do you feel is holding you back? Good grades, bad eating habits, a little number of friends, etc, etc. Confidence is PERSONAL, I may see being an Introvert as a strength, you might see it as an obstacle, for the fact that I see it like this and you see it like that doesn’t mean we are both right or wrong.
If me seeing this as strength doesn’t hurt anybody and you seeing it as an obstacle doesn’t hurt anybody it is time for you to work on it. But before you work on these things, you need to understand them.
For the fact that I keep fewer friends does that make me less of a human? NO! For the fact that you have plenty of friends does that make you less of a human? NO. The whole aim here is to know if what you perceive as an obstacle is a rational or logical thing.
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If you see a particular thing as a weakness and you feel it should be worked on, go ahead and work on it, if you see something as a weakness and your logical reasoning tells you it isn’t, then leave it alone.
Examination grades don’t define you if you wish to become a musician, do your best but don’t kill yourself if you wish to be a medical doctor then those grades matter.
5. Nobody Is Perfect
For Christ sake “STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO ANYBODY” I wouldn’t exaggerate this point. Compete with yourself. You are not the prettiest in the room, okay so what? You see that girl who you feel is the prettiest she has her own weakness, that her weakness might be a strength for you.
Now, I am not setting you up to go about finding people’s strength and weakness, just know that everybody has a fault lurking in them, some are working on it, others are hiding it.
Focus On You.
6. The Past Is Where It Should Be
Oo yes! Lil Wayne said “The future is born, put the past in the casket” yeah yeah! The past is right where it should be if you don’t know where to let me tell you. The Past Is In The Past. You got mocked for trying to dance in public, so what? Step on that dancing floor and kill it today.
You didn’t pass that exam last year, who gives an f*ck? Get your ass together, get your reading materials, read and go write that exam. Leave your head alone, I mean pack out of your head.
Many times we hear this little voice of doubt playing in our brain, well guess what “Fu*k that voice” now, silent that voice by saying this three times.
“I AM AWESOME, I AM GREAT, I AM THE BEST VERSION OF ME, I AM A KING, NOW WATCH ME DO RULE”
Once you’ve recited this mantra, go all out to execute it.
Summary
It all starts in the head (FULL STOP)… EVERYBODY HAS GOOD AND BAD DAYS, BUT YEAH! WE ARE FOCUSING ON THE GOOD DAYS ALONE, TO HELL WITH THE BAD ONES.
How To Appear Confident
Yeah yeah! You’ve won the brain battle, let me assure you you’ve won 50% on learning how to be confident.
1. Look Confident
You have to “Look Confident” but don’t base your confidence on your looks. Dress confidently, step up your hygiene game. I told you at the beginning “Confidence Is Personal” do you know the joy in being unique, do you know that being unique is synonymous with being SPECIAL? Now you know.
Dress in a way that MAKES you Feel confident not in a way you PERCEIVE WILL make you feel confident. Long as you aren’t hurting anyone, you are on track. Simplicity is key when! You don’t need the whole mall clothes to be confident.
Great personal hygiene and top-notch neatness are all you need. It isn’t about your personal appearance, it is about your personal feeling, the cloth is clean, you smell nice, you are neat you are good to go.
2. Eye Contact And Gaze
This is the only competition I will approve, when you look at someone, look deep. Make eye contact it radiates confidence trust me. You are talking to someone,
look into their eye, keep gazing let’s see who withdraws first. Subtly when you look someone in the eye, you are in a way showing strength and may give a little intimidation (A LITTLE 😉) so yeah! Keep gazing. Don’t scare anybody please. Don’t.
3. Head In The Sky
Keep your shoulders back, your chest out your spine straight, and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. That’s all about this section. The posture above will radiate a lot of confidence, it makes one know you know where you are going in life. Body language is everything.
4. Be Approachable
Don’t let your confidence get to the PROUD level, always wear a smile not a complete grin, smile often, DON’T fake it. People will notice when you fake it.
5. Be Nice To People
People who are rude and arrogant to people are the most INSECURE humans on earth, they are just projecting their fears to the world and pouring it on others. From the way you treat that gateman of yours till the way you act when talking to that waiter means a lot.
It is an act of Confidence to be nice to people, most especially people who can’t help you in return. Being nice to plants and animals is an act of confidence too. It takes real confidence to help an old lady
cross the street, many people saw her and passed, you saw her walked up to her and helped. You have exhibited many strengths here, Confidence, Humility, Bravery, and Kindness
How often do you meet people with these four traits?
6. Speak With Confidence
Should I over-explain this section? Nope. I’ll say this. TALK LIKE A BOSS. When you speak to someone, appear relaxed, pronounce your words well, if you’ve thought something through and you
have made up your mind on the matter. When the time comes to make your mind known to DO IT. That’s it, always say your mind. Keep working on this section till you know how to be confident while speaking.
I wish you the best, I really do. So share facts I have missed.
How To be Confident In Videos
Okay!  I get, I really will love you to read those articles, but watching videos is also cool.
Watch the below videos and learn ways on how to be confident.
youtube
youtube
youtube
Hope it helped.
You’ve learned how to be confident, learn how to be strong willed.
How To Be Confident Top Tips And Tricks(Photos) 
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kintailscape · 7 years ago
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Awesome Con 2017- Day 3
Sunday, Day 3: I got up a few minutes earlier and had no problem getting to the Convention Center by Metro. The headache I had was another story, but it wasn’t too bad. I got in line for Stan Lee by 9am and immediately made friends with the guy behind me in line who happened to be Ace as well. We had some wonderful discussions It made the hour and change just fly right by. As the lines started winding around toward the main stage, I ran across another friend of mine.
Even though I could have had a pretty good seat, I sat at the back so I could slip out a little early if needed in order to get in line for Garrett Wang’s Q&A. I even considered skipping Stan Lee, but I’m glad I didn’t. Stan Lee can never die, but he’s definitely getting older, and I didn’t want to miss a chance to see him in person. But Garrett Wang portrayed my favorite character on Star Trek: Voyager. Decisions, decisions! My new line friend advised me to skip out as soon as the Q&A started.
10:30 AM-11:15 AM Stan Lee Q&A Stan Lee arrived a little late (which meant more watching the Main Stage screen; OMG I need to see Baby Driver right now!) and went straight into Q&A right away. So I definitely didn’t leave immediately. It was great seeing the Father of Marvel in person on Father’s Day. He was exactly the way he is in all the specials and TV interviews I’ve seen him in. And his love for Marvel’s characters and stories was obvious and overwhelming. He talked about his cameo in Thor being his favorite because he got to do two scenes. He wasn’t sure the fans would love the Hulk or Spider-man as much as he did. He named characters alliteratively because his memory wasn’t so good and wanted to be sure to remember their names. In regards to where the X-Men movies will go he “want[s] it to teach people we’re all the same.” And in regards to his hearing aid problems “I hate not hearing myself when I talk, because I hate missing gems of wisdom.” Speaking of which, he said “We’ve all got to be good guys.”
I left a little before 11:15, hoping I’d only missed out on one or two questions at the most. I planned correctly and used the door right by the escalator leading down closest to the meeting room where the line for Garrett Wang’s Q&A was forming. I needn’t have hurried; the line was not that long and the room was not that full. I finished reading the Torchwood book I’d brought along while sitting in line. And I made the most of it and got an excellent seat.
11:30 AM-12:15 PM Garrett Wang Q&A Garrett was amazing. He was funny and personable and nice and entertaining all in one. He said that he knew if there were other Star Trek: Voyagers there, we’d be at their Q&As instead, but he was so wrong. Harry Kim was my favorite character on Voyager, hands down, and it was a pleasure to see Garrett in person. He told his the story about meeting Shatner for the first (and second) time. He did multiple impersonations of Star Trek characters. He told about his surprisingly popular “Still boldy going” typo shirts. I explained about the cast’s reactions upon arriving home. And he told the story of his running into the terrible “Code of Honor” episode of TNG over and over again. I embarrass myself when I talk to celebs, but for the past few days, I’d been working up the courage to ask Garrett a question during his Q&A. For YEARS I’ve been wondering something only a few people could answer–and he was one of them. In Galaxy Quest, there aliens design their spaceship from watching how the characters use the computer. So I really wanted to ask Garrett if he similarly planned out the whole station and what each button did during his years at the helm. This was it. I was going to be brave. I really wanted to know the answer and I didn’t get to ask Wil Wheton it yesterday. But before the Q&A portion even started, Garrett said, “Have you ever seen that movie, Galaxy Quest?” and proceeded to answer the question I was going to ask without me having to even ask it! AMAZING! And the answer was that if the aliens had made a spaceship based on his hand motions, they would have been screwed. LOL!
12:15 PM-1:00 PM Catherine Tate Q&A I headed straight up the escalator for Catherine Tate’s Q&A and only arrived a minute or so late, so I got right in and don’t think I missed much of anything. I arrived just as she realized she was at Awesome Con not Awesome.com “Oh don’t tell me that con stands for convention!” She looked great in her comfy Washington, DC hoodie, but she was still larger than life on the stage. Her favorite line from Doctor Who? “I’m not mating with you, sunshine!” David had to invent reasons to stop or slow in running so she could catch up. And her favorite part of leaving the show was getting to do an impression of David in the last episode playing Doctor-Donna. She also recited, upon request, the whole Shakespearean sonnet she did in the comic relief sketch with David Tennant as Lauren and it was AMAZING to hear her do it in person, with some humor injected as well. In regards to advice, she gave us one she liked from the great Imelda Staunton “It’s someone else’s time, and your time will come” and one of her own “What other people say about me is none of my business!” When asked about the timing of her live show, she said she’d had a hard time committing to do it because of having to book venues 18 months in advance “Don’t be ridiculous! In 18 months I’ll have an Oscar and have no time for comedy!” When asked when Donna would be up to now in the Whoverse, she said Donna had probably spent all her money and was back temping in Chiswick. And when asked about Donna with any of the other doctors, she chose Nine but said he and Donna would have gotten nothing done because there would have been too much arguing.
Stan Lee Museum I found myself with an hour of free time before the next Q&A I wanted to attend, so I headed down to the exhibit hall to see the Stan Lee Museum, which Stan had mentioned during his Q&A and that I hadn’t had time to see yet. The line for it was only about 20-30 minutes long, and it was SO worth the visit. There was everything from comic panels to movie props to figures to awards to one-of-a-kind creations to personalized drawings to actual, lit up, Iron Man suits. I took a million photos and spent a lot of time basking in the glow of shiny Iron Men.
2:00 PM-2:45PM Eliza Dushku Q&A I was enjoying the museum so much that I was a couple minutes late to Eliza’s panel, but I was pleasantly surprised to find Clare Kramer interviewing her! I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to make it to her Q&A, so it was lovely to see them both together. They talked about Buffy and Bring it On, as they were in both. And there were lots of questions about other roles of Eliza’s. I loved hearing her talking about the trust she had in Joss’ writing/direction for Dollhouse. She’s a dog person, so she had to work to find her inner cat to voice Selina Kyle. She felt that Buffy ended well. She described David Boreanaz as a “kooky free spirit” when she worked on Angel. Clare’s favorite season of Buffy was Season 5 (and the 100th episode, of course) and Eliza’s was Season 3. They talked about being able to work through their real life emotions through characters. When asked for advice, Eliza didn’t have any at first, then came up with something lovely: “Love myself and love other people. Be kind to yourself and other people. We all have our struggles. I’m just trying to find myself and what will serve me so I can serve others.”
I headed back down to the exhibit hall after that for a last run at the tables. There were a couple on day 1 that I wanted to spend more time at. And, yeah, I bought more art. I also spent $75 at one booth buying myself a couple things but mostly buying Christmas presents for friends, so it’s not that bad! But I did go back to Pride alley and bought myself a lovely naked Nightcrawler piece and another Johnlock piece and a Destiel piece and even a rainbowy Yuri on Ice piece even though I don’t know the fandom yet (I figured I will soon enough and would regret not buying something so lovely).
4:00 PM-4:45 PM These Are a Few of My Favorite Tropes I arrived just in time for my last panel of the day and of the con. It was a great one to end with. With no need to censor themselves, the panelists went through all sorts of different tropes: genre tropes, relationship tropes, circumstance tropes, structural tropes, and fandom-specific tropes. There were plenty of examples and recs to go along with them all. I laughed at the reference to “My Immortal” (“I want to believe it was real!”) and the crack pairing of Yuri/Victor/Obama sounds epic. Was great hearing some of my favorite tropes mentioned and remembering some I’d forgotten about or never really realized were a thing apart from maybe one fic I read that involved it. We all praised tags on AO3 for letting us find tropes more easily. I read a lot of stories of certain types/with certain tropes regardless of fandom or pairing, so I could really relate to “A+B=C and I’ll read it every time!” I also liked “You’re not a true fan of something until you have a cross pairing.” But my favorite was the mention of Shoebox Project followed by “Wolfstar, man. Bless.” Awwwww! It was a wonderful, multi-fandom way to end the convention.
I’m not sure what was happening beneath us, but the building shook and rumbled a dozen times. I headed out as soon as the panel was over, glad to be able to get home before 10pm. For the third day in a row, I sat and read on this exact same bench while waiting to change trains. I finished reading the second book I’d brought along, “For Color Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When The Rainbow Is Enuf.” So I ended up writing a little bit on the last leg of my journey home.
Awesome Con 2017- Day 3 was originally published on The Fangirl Project
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