#I need to write a Shino fic TBH...I love her backstory

[blizzardsuplex]

HIMAWARI's single-leg Boston crab + Shino Suzuki's sleeper hold from TJPW's Futari Wa Princess Max Heart Tournament 2025 - Tag 2, 01/19/2025

[for @coquinaclutch <3 This match was so, so good! Hard to believe all four of these women have, like, less than 3 years of experience each.]

[elenathehun]

Reading is Emotional, part 12

I finished Naruto volumes 8-10 a few weeks ago, but I really struggled with writing this review.  I could do a page-by-page fisking of the source material, but I don't really have the time for that anymore.  More importantly, I just don't have the energy.  I'd say it's because I don't want to beat the dead horse of "Kishimoto is a bad writer" so more except...who am I kidding?  I love doing that!  No, in this case, the problem is the fact that when it comes to Naruto, I already know how it's going to end.  Not with the plot, as such - who could have predicted that hot mess? - but the fact that I've read this before means I already know 95% of the characters introduced in this arc, or to be seen in the near future, are totally unimportant.  Don't believe me?  Please, feel free to argue against the following list:

Lee will get the bare bones of a disability crisis that is solved by magic, and is never mentioned again anyway

Neji is the villain of the week, and after Naruto's Talk no Jutsu works its magic on him, he'll never really come up again

Gaara gets a more interesting and meaty role, but he too is just an occasional guest star hereafter

Shikamaru, for whatever reason, will poll well with WSJ readers and get a whole two arcs somewhat devoted to his development, not that it does him much good.

And these are the characters that actually get their own story!  Virtually every female character gets eliminated in the first round, and every single one of them is subordinate to another male character's story:

Both Sakura and Ino have a double knockoff.  This is supposed to be affirming of their friendship, which just goes to show Kishimoto has never had friends.  In addition to this, their backstory revolves around Sasuke.  Sakura is supposed to be a major character, but let's be real, she's not.  She could have grown from the ground a few months before canon started (which would b e a great start to a Mokuton!Sakura fic, tbh), for all it would change her character.  Ino is comic relief up until the very end.

Ten Ten is a nobody.  I think she gets 20 lines in the whole manga?  That's how it feels to me.  We don't even get to see her fight.

Temari is more interesting, but her story is always subordinated to her reactions to her terrifying kid brother.  

the Sound girl only exists because Shikamaru has to beat someone to move forward in the tournament, even though Shikamaru didn't appear that smart in previous installments, and the Sound nin are supposed to be pretty tough...

I'm saving my comments on the atrocity that is Hinata's arc for a later post because the authorial malpractice we see in her story deserves it.  Suffice it to say, she's just a bit player in the drama that is Neji's angst.

And lest you think Kishimoto's complete inability to pass the Bechdel test was made up by good male characters... when was the last time Kiba and Shino got to have their own stories?  Or Kankurou, for that matter?  Or even Choji?  No, Naruto the manga is well-named.  None of these characters have their own story, except as they relate to Naruto's journey.  He lives in an empty world filled with puppet people.  There's no point in getting attached.

Anyway, a few more notes on this arc:

My early impression of the Naruto world was of a state in decline.  This re-read is only strengthening this impression.  Konoha has no ability to control their borders, root out treason in their ranks, no clear chain of command, and serious, severe manpower issues.  The last issue is the most far-reaching: if Konoha had more soldiers, a lot of the other problems would go away.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, despite everything, is one of my favorite characters in this manga, but I sometimes wonder why.  His weird speech about how war = friendship was the most inane, disjointed monologue I've heard in a damn long time.  I almost wonder if the translators didn't understand the original Japanese, that's how bad it was.  Paging @roadkill2580...

the fights are...OK.  It's pretty much the only thing I miss about the anime, Studio Pierrot did a lot of hard work with Kishimoto's lackluster ability in this department.  But at least they’re usually readable - save for one.  Sasuke's fights never make any sense at all!  They're totally incoherent. I have no idea what Kishimoto is doing with that kid, to be honest.

tl;dr of this post:  I need to read Naruto with alcohol.  Lots of alcohol.