#I need to watch HMS Pinafore actually

[spineless-lobster]

I love the Modern Major-General song because it just name drops and slags on their previous play HMS Pinafore

“And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore!”

Which is also funny because in HMS Pinafore there’s a song called “I Am the Captain of the Pinafore” in which a navy captain makes bullshit claims about himself. Similar to how the Major-General lists all the things he knows none of which are useful in battle.

Gilbert and Sullivan really just made the same song twice then proceeded to say that the previous one sucked (all in good humour, of course)

This is 100% not a new revelation but I just find that very funny (which is the point of a comedic opera so…)

[loridrabbles]

Imprisoned | Dogma x Reader (Part 6)

(Y/n) is taken away by guards, unsure of what awaits here as she is escorted through the prison. She's met by a familiar face.

     "(Y/n)(L/n). Please stand at the door."

     They looked at eachother, confused. Through the flashing light, they could see fear in eachother's eyes as they stood up, moving to the middle of the room, wondering what to do.

     "What's going on?" She asked nervously.

     "I-I don't know." His voice shook and he took her into a hug.

     "What if they're moving me? What if I'm out of here? What if I never see you again."

     "(Y/n)(L/n). Please stand at the door." The speaker repeated.

     "This could be goodbye." He said, parting from her to take her face in his hands. He ran his thumb over her smooth skin and looked into her soft, worried eyes. He pulled her into a kiss before she left to stand in front of the door. She looked back at him as he stood motionless in the middle of the cell, then when the door opened, she snapped her head to face the guard.

     "What's going on?" She asked as he snapped cuffs on her wrists. She forgot she had only been wearing a tshirt and wished she had put on her pinafore before she followed orders.

     "Quiet." He said, grabbing a brown leather muzzle from his belt. "Open." He said, sliding the mouthpiece into her mouth then positioned the black leather muzzle onto her face before tightening the straps around her head. She couldn't speak. took her shoulder and lead her through the florescent halls of the underground section of the prison. The floor was freezing against her bare feet and her wet shirt gave her goosebumps and the hair on her neck stood on end.

     The walk was long and silent, and she had no idea where he was taking her. They boarded several elevators and walked down what felt like miles of hallways. She didn't even think they were in the prison anymore as her surroundings began to look alike to the familiar Republic bases. Finally, they came to the doors of a medical center. He took her into an examination room and removed her cuffs. He pointed to the hospital gown on the bed.

     "Put it on and wait on the table." He said, then left the room. She peeled off the freezing cold shirt followed by her undergarments, then fastened the scratchy gown onto her body. Goosebumps covered her body again as she climbed onto the metal table. She waited and waited for someone to enter the room and finally a droid walked in silently and examined a cart holding several tools. (Y/n) couldn't see what it was, but the droid approached her with a pair of scissors, and began trimming a couple inches of her hair. Once her hair was trimmed, it grabbed a razor and shaved here legs and underarms. It wasn't unusual for a prison like this to allow inmates to get haircuts and groom themselves, but having a droid do it was pretty strange. 

     "I take it you have been bathing in your cell, but would you still like a bath?" The droid asked. She shook her head no. She'd had enough of water and the cold. "Very well. I'll tell the doctor you're ready. Lay back." 

     The droid raised the head of the hospital bed and left the room. (Y/n) waited impatiently, trying to identify any of the tools she saw in the room but in her discomfort over the past weeks, forgot any medical knowledge she had. In fact, her memory of the past had become hazy as she focused so much on the present.

     The door slid open and Kix entered the room with a pitiful smile on his face. (Y/n) sat up, sliding to the edge of the table, unable to help the tears that welled up in her eyes when she saw him. He set down his bag and holopad and pulled her into a hug. She dug her fingers into his back, hugging him as tight as she could, crying into his shoulder. She didn't want to let go. Dogma had been the only familiar person she had seen on weeks, and if she could speak, she would be happy to be in the arms of someone she could confide in.

     "I wish I could take the mask off, but they're watching. You and Dogma are on a don't listen don't tell policy. That means no talking for you. But it's good to see you." He said, pulling away and pressed the back of his hand to her forehead. "Even if you do look like hell."

     He could tell from how her eyes squinted and her cheeks pressed against the mask that she was smiling. When she smiled, a tear fell from her eye and onto her lap.

     "Let me take a look at those wounds." He said pulling the gown off her shoulder. He grabbed a cotton ball and a bottle of fluid and spread the medicine along the wound. She flinched for a second until the burning subsided and the area actually started becoming numb, which helped with the itchy pain. 

     "Looks like you've kept this clean" She nodded in response. He finished cleaning anything that needed attention and grabbed a tray full of needles and vials. "Vaccinations. Never know what's crawling around that prison. Also, an antibiotic to help your wounds heal."

     Several sticks and pokes later, he finished everything he had been instructed to do. She glanced over his shoulder at the clock by the door and several hours had passed since she was taken from the jail.

     He looked at her as if he was thinking something over. She pointed to her muzzle.

     "Huh?"

     She pointed at it again like she was trying to convey a message to him.

     "Oh. Why is it on?" He asked. She nodded.      "Well we were told that you and Dogma suffer from some sort of psychosis or mania from the war. Like PTSD or something like that. Which is hard to believe seeing as were made to withstand mental stressors, but to that they're just saying Dogma is defective." He explained. "All the guards were told not to believe anything either of you say because you're so insane. They want them to focus on their duties and not worry about anything you say as being fact or not. Believing everything is a lie is easier than not knowing at all. They muzzled you because you know me, and because you're around personnel who aren't prison guards. Safety precautions I guess. I don't know what you could possibly say that is so dangerous."

     She looked up at him with pleading eyes, tugging on her muzzle. He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, as he leaned towards her to do what he knew he shouldn't. He reached behind her head, holding her close and unbuckled the straps of the muzzle and pulled it away from her mouth enough so she could speak.

     "Who did this to you?" He whispered, rubbing his thumb on her bandaged shoulder.

     "The guards."

     "Why?"

     "I told inmates the truth of why I'm locked up. The Republic is trying to hide what happened on Umbara from the separatists."

     "Hm." He thought to himself and replaced her muzzle, leaning back on the table next to her crossing his arms as he continued to think.

     They both sat there in silence and (y/n) habitually fiddled with the hem of her gown. He let out a deep sigh and pushed himself off of the table he was leaning on. He hugged her again and felt her heart racing in her chest.

     "Its gonna be ok, (y/n)." He said stroking her hair when he felt her crying.

      "Dogma's not that bad is he?" She laughed and shook her head as they pulled away from each other.  

     "Are you getting along alright?" She nodded again. 

     "It was good seeing you. I'll tell everyone how the two of you are doing and that you haven't killed eachother yet." 

     She laughed, waving him goodbye trying not to let more tears spill down her cheeks. She watched him as he left. Through the glass she could see two troopers clad in red detailed armor step in from of him. One of them must have asked him something, because he opened his mouth and spoke. The three of them stood there and she could tell from the movement of one of the guards that he was speaking. As he spoke, Kix put his hands in the air, shaking his head as he backed up, only to be stopped by backing into the door.

     The other guard hit him in the stomach with his staff them again on the shoulder. She could hear him yelling out in pain and she ran to the door, trying to open it, but it was locked. The guard hit him on the back of his head, causing him to collapse. She screamed through the muzzle and pounded on the door as if to beg them to stop as they continued to beat him on the ground. She cried and dropped her her knees as she heard his pained cries stop. The guards dragged his body away.

     She trudged back to the table, and climbed onto it slowly. She laid back and brought her hands to her face sobbing. She cried until her saliva was thick in the back of her throat, her head pounded and she could hear her blood rushing through her ears, and tears pooled around her neck, dampening her hair. She laid there, the room spinning, waiting for someone else.

[waterchestnut123]

CH 4 | To Catch A Turtle Dove

Fandom: One Piece Setting: Victorian AU Genre: Action, Adventure, Humor, Friendship, Romance. Pairings: Law/Nami Rating: M - Mature (for language, drinking and alcohol, death and some moderate gore, other adult themes)

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Chapter 4: Nojiko and Rebecca

“Half a mast—just floatin’ there in the water off the cliffs!”

“Shipwreck, ya think?”

“That’s what ‘e thinks, least. Up near the northern coast of Flevance.”

Nami leaned against the deck railing of the ferry keeping her absent gaze on the approaching docks, but tuned a curious ear toward the fisherman conversing against the cabin wall behind her.

“Makes sense. Those waters are damn scary. Any survivors?”

“None that ‘e found when ‘e went ta look, though ‘e said ‘e didn’ get too close—you know ‘ow the tide is up there. ‘e did find a piece ‘o hull though. Poor crew musta gotten thrashed on the rocks in that storm th’other day.”

The second man tutted, a protesting squeal from the hinges of the cabin door sounding behind her before the loud thud of it closing, muffled voices continuing through the wall.

She shook her head. It was a right shame, if true—no one deserved to die at the hands of the northern coast. They were the most treacherous waters in all of Grandlin, subject to strong winds, unpredictable tides, hidden rocks, and occasional sheets of ice. She would have to remember to mention it to Robin once she returned home tomorrow, though—the older woman always was oddly fascinated by such morbid stories.

The wind and sea spray began to die down as the ferry approached the Cocoyasi docks, and Nami felt a familiar twinge of homesickness as the deck hand jumped off the boat onto the docks, another shipmate tossing him a rope to secure the craft. The two fisherman and only other passengers—headed to a different island in the chain—returned to the deck, conversation now focused on the falling price of tuna as she pulled away from the rail and made for the short gangplank now being lowered.

Nami stepped carefully down the sloping wood, heels thumping noisily as she landed on the worn dock. It had been at least six months since she’d been here—early summer and sunny with blue skies. Now, though the islands were far warmer than Flevance, still the approach of winter was evident in the grey clouds covering the sun from view and the subtle bite to the air. A gentle breeze pulled at the hair she wore long and loose down her back as she tucked her bag more firmly under her elbow and made her way down the dock and towards the village which raised her.

It was an easy walk up the dirt road, Cocoyasi visible atop the crest of the hill. She gazed at it fondly before turning her head to follow the path she knew lay beyond her sight, from the village’s center to the cliff jutting into the ocean on her left, where her childhood home lay hidden by the trees.

As she approached the village’s small main street two young boys playing a raucous game of tag spotted her. Jonny careened to a halt in the middle of the road, waving enthusiastically in her direction and ignoring his companion who ran headlong into his back.

“Namiii! Welcome back!”

She smiled at the boy, his companion soon spotting her and waving as well. They didn’t wait for her to reach them, instead running up to her, eyes expectant.

“Did you bring us anything from Flevance?”

Yosaku always did cut right to the chase. She laughed lightly, crossing her arms and bringing a finger to her chin.

“Hmmmm… Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. Perhaps if you remind me who the most beautiful woman in all the Conomi islands is, my memory might return…”

“You are!” They shouted in unison, saluting her with practiced ease and wide, appeasing grins. She smiled.

“And don’t you two forget it!”

Hand slipping into her pocket, she tossed each of them a small bag of Sanji’s homemade lemon drops with a wink. “Courtesy of the best chef in the Capitol.”

“Thanks Nami!” they chimed enthusiastically before running off into the trees, giggling. She smiled fondly, watching them settle at the base of an old stump before continuing on to the village.

The main thoroughfare was rather empty, fisherman still out for the day and the women likely tending to lunch. A few who noticed her popped their heads out into the street to say hello, and she cheerfully greeted them in return.

She reached her first stop quickly, stepping up to the small clinic at the end of town. Inside Nako sat at his desk on the far side of the room, oblivious to her entrance until the door swung shut with a thump. He looked up and smiled upon seeing her, waving her over.

“Ah, Nami! Good to see you—it’s been a while!”

She smiled, striding towards the desk.

“Hey Nako. How are you?”

He stood and offered her a hug before settling into his chair, sitting back as he observed her leaning against the desk.

“Ah, I’m quite well. Here about Nojiko I presume?”

“Yes—how has she been doing? Are her tests looking any better with the new medication?”

The jovial look on Nako’s face fell slightly, and he sighed. Nami felt her own smile fall as well.

“Well… she’s not worse. It’s difficult to say she’s doing much better, though.”

Nami nodded with a small sigh, reaching into her bag.

“I suspected as much. Any outstanding payments due?”

Nako nodded, reaching for his ledger and flipping through it.

“Ah, not too much. 300 Belli. I was going to go up there this afternoon to collect it, actually.”

Nami smiled wryly. “Well, I’ll save you a trip, then.”

She counted out the bills and set them on his desk.

“Are you heading up there now?” he inquired, turning for a drawer.

“Next stop.”

“Could you bring her this? I wanted to start her on a vitamin supplement. I worry she’s not eating enough. In fact… if its not too much, make her lunch while you’re there? I think she could use a good meal.”

Nami reached for the bottle of white powder, tucking it and a proffered measuring spoon into her bag.

“One spoonful in a meal or drink a day.” He instructed.

“I’ll pass that on,” she responded, looking up to hold his gaze meaningfully. “Thank you, Nako.”

He smiled kindly, standing to escort her as she headed for the door.

“Anything for you girls. You take care now, you hear?”

“You too.”

She bid him farewell, waving as she stepped back out onto the road and took a side path up the cliff to the cottage.

A sea breeze blew in off the water, the scent of salt filling her nostrils, and she tucked a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear, thoughts far away. Nojiko could really use more help. Nami was already making the budget stretch fantastically to accommodate employing Chabo to maintain the tangerine grove for her; and Rebecca’s expenses were ever growing…

She let out a familiar sigh. The answer was the same as it had always been.

They needed more money.

Almost before she realized it the small cottage was looming before her and she shook her head to clear her troubled thoughts, putting on a cheerful smile. Aunties should always be smiling. Straightening, she knocked firmly on the door and soon Genzo answered, a bouncing, giggling Rebecca on his shoulders.

“Ah, Nami! Good to see you! Come in, come in!”

He smiled broadly, standing aside as Rebecca began animatedly attempting to wriggle out of Genzo’s hold.

“Nami! Nami! Nami!” she chanted and Nami laughed, turning to the excited toddler.

“Becka! Becka! Becka!” Nami chanted right back, a finger rising to tap the girl on the nose, eliciting a delighted squeal.

Genzo chuckled, closing the door and shepherding her into the small living room where Rebecca’s efforts to reach for Nami finally became too much for the older man. With a huff, he reached up and lifted her, extending her to Nami’s waiting arms.

“Nami!” squealed the girl, and Nami laughed.

“Rebecca!” she echoed, giving the girl a tight hug.

“Dids a bwing pwesents?” the girl inquired with wide eyes, and Nami tutted.

“Little girl, I think you’re getting spoiled!”

“Spoiled gets pwesents?” she inquired seriously, and Genzo laughed.

“I did warn you Nami,” he opined with amusement, plopping down onto the living room sofa with an exhausted huff.

Nami chuckled, setting Rebecca on the floor and kneeling before her while digging through her bag.

“Well, miss Rebecca, I do have a present—but only for polite little girls who say please and thank you,” she said sternly, lifting a small, gently worn doll from within the confines of her bag and shaking it gently. Rebecca’s eyes popped and she immediately stilled, hands fisting the dirty pinafore atop her over-sized blue dress.

“Auntie can I pwease has my pwesent?” she inquired with careful effort, and Nami struggled to keep a straight face.

“That’s better,” she said approvingly as she extended the doll towards her. It was snatched with excited hands, held briefly at arm’s length for a quick examination before being clutched tightly to her chest.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she squealed excitedly as she jumped up and down, and Nami finally allowed her grin free.

“You’re very welcome. Why don’t you go play with your new dolly in your play corner while Grandpa Genzo and I talk, hm? I’ll make us lunch, too.”

“Okay!” she answered excitedly, before running to a corner of the living room where a stack of wooden blocks and worn children’s books lay in a heap. Nami let out an affectionate sigh before standing and turning to Genzo, who looked ready to fall asleep.

“I take it Nojiko’s resting?” she inquired over Rebecca’s excitable burbling.

Eyelids drooping, Genzo nodded, letting out a weary breath.

“Rebecca insisted on playing tag in the grove this morning. Drove Chabo absolutely nuts,” he chuckled, “Really wore me out, too.”

Nami nodded with understanding. Rebecca was… quite energetic at times.

“Why don’t you take a nap. I’ll watch Rebecca and make us all lunch, and wake you when its ready.”

Gen’s eyes were already starting to close when he murmured appreciatively, “You’re a godsend, Nami.”

She chuckled, twirling on her heel and heading for the kitchen.

The kitchen was better stocked than she expected but less well stocked than she would have preferred. Eying the available ingredients in the pantry, she selected materials for a basic chicken noodle soup. Rebecca, thankfully, played quietly in her corner for the duration of the soup’s cook time, and when she finally wandered into the kitchen having exhausted the novelty of her new doll, Nami was ready to set the table.

“Take these and put one in front of each chair,” she instructed, handing the girl four rolled up napkins. She nodded seriously, toddling off to the table and struggling to reach up to its surface, dutifully placing a napkin at each setting. Nami finished the rest, strapping the girl into her third-hand high chair with a selection of peeled tangerine slices as she went to wake Genzo. But as she passed the hall, she caught sight of Nojiko stumbling out of the bedroom, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Spotting Nami, she grinned broadly, affect immediately cheering.

“I thought I heard your voice,” she said affectionately, crossing the distance to give her adopted sister a hug. Nami held her tightly in return, noting with some displeasure the boniness of her shoulders.

“I made lunch. Table is already set, why don’t you go sit down? I’m just going to wake Gen from his nap.”

Palpable relief flashed briefly in her eyes and she nodded. As Nojiko headed for the kitchen Nami headed for the living room, finding Gen lying exactly where she’d left him, head resting at an odd angle against the back of the sofa with his mouth hanging open, softly snoring. She repressed a snort, gently kicking his shoe with the toe of her boot.

“Lunch is ready, Gen. Up-and-at-em.”

He snorted and jerked, sitting up blearily and bringing a hand to rub his eyes.

“Lunch?” he inquired hoarsely, and she nodded.

“Come get it while it’s hot.”

He followed her into the kitchen, the two of them sitting at their respective place settings as the older man insisted upon saying Grace for the occasion—to which Nojiko and Nami grudgingly complied. It was difficult to say no to the closest thing they had to a father when it mattered so much to him and was such a trifling matter to them—especially when they all three saw each other so rarely.

The meal was a warm and peaceful affair, with Rebecca making a proper mess and Genzo being rewarded with a tangerine to the face (an event which left both Nami and Rebecca in a fit of giggles). However, soon the skies began to dim, and Genzo was due to depart for his rounds about the village. Nojiko lifted Rebecca from her chair, excusing herself to put the girl down for her afternoon nap, and Nami saw the old policeman to the door.

“It was good to see you, Nami,” he said as he pulled on his coat, the cooling outside air seeping in as he tugged on the door. “Don’t work yourself too hard, you hear?” Nami smiled as she pulled him in for a hug, tugging the blanket from the couch around her arms more tightly in the chill.

“I could say the same to you. And hey—” she interrupted, sticking her head out the door to glance up at the sky, “Bring an umbrella with you tonight. It should start raining a little after sundown.”

Genzo simply shook his head, smiling, as he donned his cap.

“It’s creepy how you do that, you know.”

Nami rolled her eyes but couldn’t help her smile. “You’ll thank me later, like you always do. Have a good night, Gen. And thanks for looking after Nojiko and Rebecca for me.”

“Anything for you girls,” he replied warmly, tipping his hat before heading out the door.

Sliding the deadbolt into place, Nami returned to the kitchen to gather their plates, replacing the blanket around her shoulders with an apron before starting on the dishes. She was in the middle of scrubbing some dried on tangerine flesh from Rebecca’s plate when Nojiko returned, taking a seat at the table with a tired sigh.

“I see you’ve been spoiling your niece again. She took her new dolly with her to sleep,” she commented with amusement.

Nami let out a quiet laugh. “I wouldn’t be a good auntie if I didn’t.”

Nojiko smiled as Nami set the now sparkling plate onto the rack, drying her hands before turning back to the table where her bag hung from the corner of her chair. She reached for it, taking a seat and digging through the contents. Pulling out a fat stack of bills and the bottle of vitamin powder. She slid both across the table.

“I stopped off at Nako’s on my way up and paid off your outstanding balance. He told me to bring you this,” she said gesturing to the bottle. “It’s a vitamin powder; take one scoop full every day in a meal or drink.”

Nojiko eyed the items a moment before pulling both towards her.

“Lunch, money, and errands? I take it back, you’re not just spoiling Rebecca you’re spoiling me too.”

“Nonsense,” Nami scoffed, folding her arms and leaning back in her chair. “It’s hardly spoiling you if it only puts food on the table.”

Nojiko flipped through the stack quietly before pocketing it, offering her a wry smile. It had been only in the past year Nami had managed to get Nojiko to take the money without question or fuss.

A comfortable silence lapsed between them before Nojiko spoke again. “Will you be spending the night? Rebecca would love to spend more time with you if you’re able.”

“If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Never,” Nojiko insisted with a smile, making to stand. “I’ll go get your bed ready.”

Nami stood quickly, gesturing firmly for Nojiko to sit. “Ah, ah—I’ve got it. You relax, I’ll go turn down the sheets.”

Nojiko looked like she might object a moment, but then suddenly swayed gently on her feet and sat back down.

“If you insist, I suppose,” she acquiesced.

“Always,” Nami said with a wink, turning and heading down the short hall.

Their old room was largely as she’d left it so many years ago—spartan and unadorned, the sheets stacked and folded neatly in the scuffed wooden dresser. She grabbed them and brought them to the bare mattress, but there she stilled, setting them at the foot of the bed before slowly sitting down next to them with a sigh. Finally, briefly, she let the smile she’d kept in place all afternoon fall. She leaned back on her hands, staring up at the cracked and peeling paint of the ceiling before closing her eyes wearily. Nojiko and Rebecca needed so much more than they had.

Three more days. Three more days, then she’d rob that ball blind. She set her shoulders before opening her eyes and standing to make the bed.

For Nojiko. Nojiko and Rebecca.

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[baileysayswhat]

Well, it’s been a year. Truly. I haven’t blogged in a year! Not since my EPIK return to Korea (wink at y’all English teachers over there) for MinShik & Ara’s wedding.

And here those same people are celebrating their one year anniversary by having their first baby ON THAT DAY. That’s some Gattaca-level skill, I tell ya.

Lots has changed. LAWD. Yes. Grab yourself a low-carb snack because y’all about to get the deets.

Jobs

Two promotions at Grubhub and a sabbatical-turned-bowing-out at Titan Gym ALL IN THIS PAST ONE YEAR.

In January I became a Senior Sales Executive with Grubhub; it was a huge, out-of-the-blue honor and when I asked ‘what’s different than my current job?” my boss replied “Its what you’re already doing with the team, I’m just going to pay you for it.” How cool is that?!

Actual photo of said boss:

Seriously one of my favorite things in my career was in our first ever one on one development meeting last year (right *after* the Korea trip) the first thing I said was “I want you to know I’m in grad school for training and development and that’s what I want to do long term.”

His reply? “OK, let me hook you up with the right person who’s heading up training.” Literally the next week she got me in a classroom training new hires in a session 1x every 2 weeks. MONEY/MOUTH AND ALL THAT. When does that happen?!

And this past April when a new role opened up to become a sales trainer for new hires he recommended and she championed me for the role, which started May 1.

Y’all. I have never felt the Conan mantra of “If you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen” more. I joined Grubhub just to get a sales paycheck and have a regular schedule to pursue my passions and here this place that I thought would be a job I wasn’t going to put my heart into has given me such gifts. Managers that believe in me and CREATE JOBS that I wasn’t even aware of. I’m very blessed.

Now I’m the “Learning Solutions Associate” (ie. Non-Corporate Sales & Account Advisor Trainer) for all employees in those departments for Grubhub Inc. Nationwide. I’ve trained over 75 people in the last 5.5 months. That is bananas to me and I’m so grateful. All that in a year and a half at this company.

Because of that role shift and wrapping up grad school I knew that my time at Titan Gym was coming to a close. I have loved and sweated and bled and cried in that place – sometimes all at once – and I leave with so many good memories and relationships. I felt like I couldn’t be both throwing my heart (and fists) into learning & teaching Krav while also trying to originate a role at Grubhub.

So with a final rooftop drinking session and countless hugs I left (by choice) no longer an instructor at Titan Gym. I’m still a certified Krav Maga Level 1 Instructor through KMA and I know if I’m ever interested in getting back into it that Daniela and Ivo have my back. And if you need a place to kick ass, feel stronger or find mental toughness I will recommend Titan Gym to the moon and back again and again and again.

WHEW.

2. School

Yes, I finished my grad program at University of Wisconsin – Stout and now have my graduate certificate in Instructional Design. I need to frame that fancy piece of paper sometime soon.

3. Comedy

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE LAUGH SQUAD?! Oh man y’all. So last October in the week after I got back from Korea I auditioned for a ComedySportz House Team and was cast into the most perfect circle of weirdos by two insanely talented coaches who happened to have the exact same initials – HMS. So naturally our team name became “Pinafore” after the famous Gilbert & Sullivan comic opera ‘HMS Pinafore.’ I have still never to this day heard any music from it although I did briefly glance through the Wikipedia page.

No, I didn’t realize we were all serving fierce face. Or at least my genre of fierce face. Our team just had our final show on 10/6 and it has been a journey. I feel like I’ve grown with such a great team with depth and tears and joy. I have peed myself a little laughing so hard, which I can admit now that the team is done. I mean, I could have admitted it before but why BOTHER.

Truly I have loved the CSZ House Program; auditions for the next round are in November and I’m excited to see what the next group of people I get to fall in love with looks like!

Other things I’ve been blessed to yuk it up on/with: I got cast into a RIFF Music Improv camp which has had me perform 3x with a stone-cold group of short-form music improvisers that HAVE PIPES, y’all. Some of these people I’ve watched perform for years in music improv and it’s an honor to strap on a Britney mic and make up songs for an audience with them.

I’ve also done 2 seasons of MINt (Music Improv Night) at the Annoyance; such an open space to trying weird and beautiful things with music improv and our voices. If you’re looking for a community to fall in love with, the MINt crew is a good one. 4 teams every 4 months and you get such a wide range of experience, skills and strange, hilarious songs.

There’s been a few one-offs performing with friends’ groups and even a couple shows with some MI people I met in iO’s Music Program as an indie group named “AirBRB.”

I’m moving into a season when I’m not sure when my next show is; it’ll be light this next month, which is kind of a fun thing. I’ll miss it. But I think it’s healthy to have a breather and come back hungry, whenever the next show is. And you never know when someone might text you at 4pm about a show that night at 1030pm and you gotta be ready to make believe with the best!

4. Health

OOOOOHHHH fun. Let’s talk about it! Since last year when I got my Krav Maga instructor cert in July (shoutout to the 3am Protein Squad) I’ve let things slip a bit. And why not?! When you survive that kind of thing you deserve to let yourself chill. But…I didn’t really reign it in. I was doing ok; maintaining some cardio but I knew things needed to step up. I was getting a little burned out on Krav. Here’s my 7am face on the way to teach class:

I let myself write excuses and they added up. Once I was done punching/kicking regularly I did CrossFit for a few months – it was great and ya girl loves heavy weights – but the price was really high. Especially when I could be going out of town to our Phoenix office for work up to once a month, missing a week at a time. It was an expensive habit.

So I jumped back into going to LSAC (Lincoln Square Athletic Club) regularly – it’s been 3 weeks in and I’m kind of loving my schedule:

Mondays – Pole Class at Brass Ring (I KNOW) and it’s so fun. Such an empowering environment and an hour flies by. Its slow but I see progress! And thigh bruises.

Tuesdays – Workout at LSAC (trying to follow the schedule Brian (see Fridays) gave me the week before)

Wednesdays – Volleyball with friends at LPHS – y’all we had a double header last week and I burned 1,448 calories in 1 hour and 55 mins. WE WORKIN’.

Thursdays – Improv Day (aka rest and do some make believe in comedy class)

Fridays – Personal Training with Brian at LSAC

Saturdays – Yoga (at home right now using an Apple TV app but maybe at LSAC in the future)

Sundays – Intro to Olympic Weightlifting with Keith at LSAC (today was the first one; I did a 65lb bar snatch from shins to above my head! 9 times! Y’ALL! SHE BACK!)

Also I started attempting/doing a Keto & intermittent fasting on 10/1; it’s been a little rough but we’re getting into the groove of it. That first week, candidly, sucked. The low carb/Keto flu thing is for real. But now I’m used to it; the 12-8 fasting part is honestly not that hard now. Very manageable. It’s more the carb counting thing of keto that is taking slow (but progressive) shape.

5. The Rest

a. Photography

I know everyone has a camera in their smartphone – I’m doing some photography learning – I bought myself a Canon T6i DSLR last year RIGHT BEFORE starting grad school so I hid it in the closet from myself until school was done in May. I’ve taken some pictures I’m proud of and I’m working my way through a couple Lynda.com (grad school got me a free account) photography courses to learn the camera. I’m a student of it right now for sure but here’s a few photos I’m proud of:

b. Norway

I found out last year that I’m 1/8 Norweigan; that doesn’t sound like ‘a lot’ but honestly I’ve never really thought about it. I generally classify my heritage as ‘SPF 75’ but have always known our family is generally German with some crossover to other classically pale squads (Irish, probably English, other various tribes of roving wild-haired people on/around Hadrian’s wall, etc).

Last year in October someone posted in this Women of Chicago Comedy Facebook group I’m in about a Norwegian TV show that 1. Flies you to Norway and 2. You good-naturedly compete with other Norwegian-Americans to win $50,000. SO I APPLIED OF COURSE and got to ask my mom and grandparents questions over iMessage about my heritage. Apparently one of my great-grandmas was first-generation American, born in the US. Her parents both emigrated from Norway in the early 1900s to Washington State, near Ballard. So…if one of the 8 people that made me is full-blooded Norwegian…then by the power of Punnett Squares or whatever that means I’m 1/8 Norwegian, right?

ANYWAYS I did not get cast but I just realized they’re auditioning again so I’m going to throw ye olde application back in there. 1. Because it sounds fun and 2. Norway is GORGEOUS and 3. I did promise Neal Carlin that I would apply again. He’s gone in Italy doing an insanely cool apprenticeship so the least I can do is fill out info about my LIFE.

Our family doesn’t really do any celebrations of heritage. My great-grandma Harriman (she of the Norwegian blood) made lefse for Christmas, but I never really understood the connection as a kid. She passed when I was in high school and none of us kids ever learned to make it with her. Also, keep your traps shut but my real goal if I get on this show is to learn to make Fattigman cookies and then make them with my Nana for Christmas. KEEP MY SECRETS, INTERNET.

I think there’s a real beauty in appreciating where you came from and knowing you are a part of a legacy of choices – good ones, bad ones, ones that had to be made one way or another – and then choosing how you want your part of the story to be written. Sitting under the Northern lights and walking on glaciers would be a pretty jaw-dropping moment in life; 10/10 I’d be crying frozen little tears of joy. So we’ll see! I’m applying!

c. Travel

I’m going to DC in less than 2 weeks – I’ve never been to DC AND I haven’t seen David Brown in 4+ years in person. That’s bananas to me. I genuinely cannot believe that there’s not some time/space blanket fold that I jumped through because it CAN’T have been four years.

But the internet says it has. So myself, Bekah, Adam & Dana (plus maybe their dog Millie) are all meeting up with David in DC October 25-27 and I could SQUEAL I am so excited.

I went to Ohio in March just to see my loves Xander and Trace and get drag-ified myself. I learned that clip on earrings are the reason beauty = pain and that stick on nails are NOT for me. But I looked great.

d. Experiences

I saw my first Broadway shows in the past year – I don’t know what took me so long! I saw Hello Dolly, Book of Mormon, Hamilton. Les Mis, Falsettos – I WANT TO SING EVERYTHING.

I went to the Shedd Aquarium on Thanksgiving – it was BEAUTIFUL and uncrowded and my ticket was free – cue v v thankful.

I saw Conan O’Brien’s show in Chicago and met Aaron Bleyart, who’s blog(s) I have followed for over TEN YEARS.

Passed my Krav Level 3 student test and Muay Thai Level 2!

Survived the Polar Vortex in Chicago when it was over -20 degrees below zero. This is the *inside* of my windows.

My parents came to Chicago for Father’s Day! The umbrella is my Mom hiding from the camera as all 3 of us eat Chicago Dogs outside the Field Museum. Also, I went to the Field Museum.

I went to Arizona 3 times – February, May & August – for work and to visit family. What a cool, weird mix of colors. I saw the Grand Canyon and cried a little behind my sunglasses as my family pretended to not notice.

I saw a Seattle-based artist, SYML, who’s work I love not once but TWICE. Also saw Dean Lewis at the same concert and fell in love w his new album.

Saw a bajillion improv shows, learned which lipsticks look good on my skin tone and saw so many people I love.

What. A. Year.

  More updates, more often, from this face:

A Blog I Pay For and Rarely Update: UPDATED! Well, it's been a year. Truly. I haven't blogged in a year! Not since my EPIK return to Korea (wink at y'all English teachers over there) for MinShik & Ara's wedding.