#I need to sleep now and think about all my deep seated issues I just put right out there huh

[sednas]

─ TAKE YOU LIKE A DRUG I TASTE YOU ON MY TONGUE.

FT. toji fushiguro x fem!reader featuring my daddy issues

TW. dd/lg, half mean half gentle!toji, sub!reader, daddy issues, thigh riding, oral (m receiving), slight dumbification, praise and degradation, public s!x (at first), creampie, p!ssy slapping (once), 2k+ words

♡♡♡. sorry for the potential typos/ugly sentences, it's been a long day but i really wanted to post this

you met toji during the first semester of college, when your parents moved out to get closer to the place where you were studying.

it all started out innocent. quick glances, lingering hands on the skin, a few smirks and playful winks, smalltalk about college and work...

he was tall, dark hair, deep green eyes, a scar on the corner of his lips, big hands, broad shoulders, strong thighs...

every time you'd come back home for the weekends you expected him to finally have settled down with one of the numerous women in the neighborhood, all salivating over him.

but he stayed single, and you could fantasize about him without the annoying thought of his pretty wife sucking him off. as years went by, your crush on him got pretty obvious, you became more confident, trying to give him the hint that he could do whatever he wanted with you. but toji was blind to your signs, or at least that's what he was pretending to be.

his ignorance toward you left a bittersweet taste on your tongue, putting you as nothing more than the plain daughter of his neighbor, and you felt like fifteen again, ignored by the boy you liked.

which brings us to tonight, a few days after your graduation. you came back to your parent's place and you can't seem to sleep, sitting on the grass, you look up at the stars and think of all the things that are awaiting for you now that you're done with college. it's scary and exciting at the same time. you'll be leaving the city for your dream job soon, and there's only one regret that comes to your mind.

“beautiful night uh?” you hear a deep voice coming from the darkness of the night. speaking of the devil... it's toji, he just sat down on a chair a few meters away from you in the neighborhood's common garden, he has a drink in his hand, you can't tell what's in it but it's probably alcohol.

“I've heard that you graduated. I always knew you were a smart girl, your parents must be proud of you.” he says, his green eyes lazily resting on you.

you shrugged your shoulders, still sitting on the grass.

“my dad barely said that he was proud of me...” you laugh bitterly. why are you even talking about this? he doesn't care, he just wants to make a quick small talk.

a few seconds of silence go by... you see toji moving, patting the seat next to him. it's... unexpected, but you can't let go of such an occasion to be closer to him, and without a word you go sit down. he extends his legs with a sigh. your eyes linger on him in a not so subtle manner. he's wearing a black tank top with gray baggy sweatpants.

“your dad's just not great with words, I'm sure he's very proud of you.”

you don't say anything, not trusting your voice right now, feeling like a lost little girl even though you're past twenties. he must surely pity you by now, and you hate it.

“do you need to hear it?”

“what do you mean?” you ask, arching an eyebrow, and you see him shift on his seat until he's facing you, your knees touching.

“alright... gimme your hands.” he says, and even though it's an order his voice is soft and reassuring. you obey, putting your hands in his. the skin of his hands is calloused, you can tell he's been working with them all of his life.

you can feel your heart beating faster and harder inside your chest, unsure of what you're going to do once he will speak. you're so close to him, of course you already had conversations with him, but this one feels too intimate, both of you alone in the darkness of the night... anything could happen.

“I'm very proud of you. you told me before that you were anxious about the future but I'm sure it will all turn out to be okay. you've got that light in your eyes, I'm not quite sure how to describe it but it's bright and I know you'll make a good use of it.” he finally says and for a few seconds you both drown in a silence where you can only hear the sound of crickets.

within a second, your lips crash into his as he lets out a surprised moan which comes out muffled, feeling your soft hands running down on his forearms, sending shivers down his spine.

“what the fuck are you doing?” he finally asks, pulling away from you. your heart stops for a second, hearing him raise his voice at you, but he unexpectedly pulls you in for another kiss, his hand snaking up behind your neck and this time you're the one moaning against his mouth.

“been wanting you for so damn long.” he mumbles as he deepens the kiss, his tongue slipping between your lips and making you feel empty brained. you clutch on his chest, heart fluttering to his words.

“re-really? I thought you didn't like me...” you can't believe what you're hearing, your body trembles slightly as toji kisses your neck and nods his head.

“how could I not like such a sweet girl like you.” he purred in a low, baritone voice, his hands slowly sliding down your waist to guide you on his lap, letting you feel how hard he is against you.

you let out a gasp when you feel him start to rock your hips on his thigh, his green eyes piercing through yours. “you think I didn't notice the way you were looking at me for all those years. how your outfits got sluttier just to have a crumble of my attention uh? just imagine how many times I've fucked myself imagining you taking my cock like the good girl I know you fucking are.”

you moan, feeling pure bliss at this revelation as his big hands keep forcing you to hump his thigh. you can feel your pussy getting dragged all the way up and down his clothed hard cock, giving you a hint of how big it is. both of you moan when your pussy lips engulf his tip through your shorts and soon enough a wet spot starts to form on his sweatpants.

“fucking hell Y/N, look at you... I don't know how I resisted fucking you for so long when your body is that perfect to play with. fuck!- but I'm done holding back, I'm gonna fucking ruin you.” he grunts, his voice still low and dominant, his fingers digging into your plump skin.

the fact that you're in the neighborhood's common garden is already long forgotten, you don't care about the whole city seeing you in this position, you've wanted this for too long. your pussy is throbbing, the soft material of his pants rubbing deliciously against your hardened clitoris, your tongue almost comes out of your mouth while toji watches your dumb expression with delight.

“gonna cum... I'm... I'm...” your whiney voice echoes through the silent night and toji bounces and flexes his thigh on purpose, taking you over the edge as he whispers praises against your ear. you come in a muffled cry, biting toji's shoulder to silence your cute moans.

toji gives you a few minutes to rest, caressing your hair and giving your thighs reassuring strokes every time he feels your body twitch on top of him. in a gentle gesture, he takes your chin in his hand to look at your face.

“let's go to my room yeah? I want to give you more.” you can only nod your head as you both leave the garden and head over to his house. the whole place is plunged in darkness and you follow him closely not to trip over anything, your arm wrapped around his own in a clingy way while he guides you to his bed.

he gets on top of you, removing your shorts and your top in a fast motion, so smoothly that you barely notice that you're now half naked under him. you suddenly feel shy under his warm gaze which devours your body and you turn your head to avoid his eyes.

“don't turn all shy now sweetheart, your body is a work of art.” he murmurs, his hot breath tickling your skin before kissing your neck. his hands travel up to your chest, playing with your tits and gently pinching your nipples.

“ahh~ please, daddy...” you whine without thinking, and toji suddenly stops what he's doing, lifting his head to look into your eyes. his pupils are dilated, his gaze darkened by lust and need. you can feel him squeeze your skin a little bit harder than before, and you whine again.

“is it true? am I your daddy?” he teases, bringing his hand close to your inner thighs, caressing them with the tip of his digits. his cock never ached to be inside someone like this, he can feel it twitch and throb inside his pants, begging to know how your little pussy feels like.

“yes, yes you are, please daddy, I need you... want you to feel good too...” you beg, your hands clutching on his chest once again, trying to remove his clothes but it's no easy task in your position and with how your body is trembling.

toji wears a boyish smirk at your words, thinking about how cute you look and sound right now. he brings his face close to yours, his lips only a few inches away from your open mouth. “yeah? do you want to make daddy feel good?” and he smiles when you nod eagerly. he stands up, gently dragging you toward the edge of the bed, letting your head suspended in the air.

“alright, you know what's coming next, don't you baby?” as an answer, you open your mouth, presenting your tongue and waiting for him. he huffs with amusement at your hunger, finally freeing his cock and sighing of relief. he taps the tip against your tongue, smearing your saliva all over it. before you can whine with impatience he pushes it right in, sliding his entire length down your throat in one smooth motion of his hips.

“god... I wonder if your pussy is as tight as your throat...” toji groans, biting his bottom lip to prevent any slutty moans to come out of him. your greedy tongue swirls around his leaking tip, and you moan whenever you feel a vein drags along the curves of your lips.

you feel light headed, with your head hanging in the air, half naked in the bed of the man you like, his balls slapping against your face. he lets out a moan, watching your tits bounce and the buldge that his cock is forming inside your throat, his eyes roll back, one more minute and he's going to cum down your throat.

he makes you choke on his cock one last time before pulling out, the action earning a disappointed whimper from you. “don't whine you baby.” he warns with a smug look on his face, manhandling once more to put you on your back.

“but I...” he hushed you by slapping your clothed cunt and tears immediately start to form in the corner of your eyes and he almost regrets what he just did, seeing your teary expression.

“it's okay baby. just be a good girl and let me do what I want with you, you're gonna like it I promise.” you nod as he massages your pussy, and once you say “yes daddy” he's a goner, tearing your panties apart, he presses his cock against your puffy clit, making you jolt under him.

he lifts your hips and enters you in one second, your wetness immediately coating his cock, making it easier for him to sink deep inside you. “good... good... how do you feel so fucking good...” toji rambles in his low voice, and it makes you spread your legs wider. you don't know when he removed his clothes but he's as naked as you now, you almost whimper at the sight, wrapping your legs around his slutty waist.

“does that feel good baby?... fuck, you look so dumb right now.” he chuckles darkly, his big hand gently slapping your cheek before holding your whole face in it. you try to get your half lidded eyes to focus on his face, with his dark hair adorning his facial features and his eyes shining with lust as his cock keeps reaching deep for that spongy spot inside you. it's too much for you to handle.

you start babbling incoherent words, all interrupted by whines as your head falls on the pillows. his bedsheets smell like him, it almost makes you feel tipsy, drunk on his strong, masculine scent. you want to stay here forever, drowned in him. “daddy, daddy...” you keep repeating, your legs quivering as he towers you, his arms caging your face.

toji smiles, kissing your cheek as his thrusts keep getting faster and faster. “you're such a good girl, taking my cock like the good little whore that you are... ah fuck-!” he curses, feeling your hands clawing at his back. he looks at your face, feeling his cock twitches at the sight.

“I'm... I'm gonna cum again...” you try to speak, your eyes rolling back as his mushroom tip pushes against your cervix, making you arch your back and see stars.

“let it all go for me Y/N, I'm here for you.” just what you needed to hear. you whimper a weak “daddy” one last time as shockwaves of pleasure run through your body, your pussy spasming and throbbing around his cock. your vision goes blank, all you can hear is the voice of toji throwing praises at you against your ear while he tries his best not to lose his mind to the feeling of you gushing all over him.

“good girl... you really do have the best pussy god damn it...” the rest of his sentence is just a gasp, his hands shaking slightly as he can feel himself getting closer and closer to his own release.

“breed me... daddy. please breed me...” you manage to plead through your hazy state and who is he to deny you when you asked so sweetly? with his hands firmly gripping your waist he cums deep inside you, releasing a string of moans that sounds like music to your ears.

you feel so full once he's done, your body still twitching under him as he finally comes down from his high, and the first thing he does is to pepper your face with kisses, sweetly humming when he feels you running your hands through his hair.

“good fucking god... I don't think I've ever been so turned on in my life...” he sighs, laughing a little and falling on his back next to you. he reaches out for your hand, kissing the back of it. it must be a dream, how are you still not waking up?...

“I really meant what I said earlier. I'm proud of you... you took that cock so well...” he laughs in a low voice when you gently hit his chest, his right arm circling around your waist to bring you closer to his body.

“no but for real... I'm proud of you, I'll give you all the love you deserve.”

jjk masterlist

[baby-yongbok]

A Feeling

Boyfriend!Bang Chan × Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst with a pinch of sugar at the end

Summary: There's a feeling in your chest that you can't seem to shake.

Warnings: Mentions of betrayal, Themes of cheating, Drinking, Broken Glass, Name calling. (I think this is it, let me know if I missed anything)

A/N: Happy Birthday Dear Chrisssss, Happy Birthday to you! + I've been having some issues with writing due to my health so I hope that this piece is good lol I got approval from my best friend and I trust her so here you go! This is one of the many posts that I'll be making for Our Leaders birthday so be on the look out!

✨Masterlist✨

The sting of bourbon flooded your throat as you threw back yet another shot. What was supposed to be a date night with Chris turned into you ordering a meal for one and him staying late at the company to fix a sudden studio mistake.

It wasn't the fact that your date night got canceled that bothered you, it was something else. It was a feeling that lingered in your chest. A feeling that something was wrong. You couldn't quite put your finger on it and the more you wondered the closer you got to finishing half a bottle of bourbon by yourself.  At this point you might as well wait for Chris to get home. It's about three in the morning now so he should be home any -

"Baby?" Your boyfriend's voice startled you out of your deep thoughts. "What are you still doing up?" 

"I kinda got… stuck. And then I got the bourbon out and ended up a little drunk.. so put the two together and you get this." Motioning towards yourself hunched over in the barstool you sigh.  "I couldn't shake this feeling..." 

"Are you sober enough to talk about it?" Stalking towards you slowly, Chris takes the empty seat next to yours.  

"Maybe it's best if I'm not sober for this? Maybe it'll make it easier to ask you and depending on the answer I wouldn't mind having it be harder to remember."

Confusion consumes his features as he leans forward, crossing both of his arms on the kitchen island "What could possibly be bothering you this much, babygirl?"

"I feel like.. there's something you have to tell me. I feel like today, something happened and you need to tell me but you aren't sure about it." Chris perks up a bit as you explain yourself to him. "If my feelings are correct then I need you to tell me what it is right now. Cause I can't sleep with this in my chest."

Running his hand over his face he covers his mouth for a second as he takes in all that you've said.

"Chris?" He looks up at you, directly into your eyes. "What is it?"

With a heavy sigh Chris squeezes his eyes shut as he prepares to speak. "Your friend… you know how you asked me to get Michelle a job at the company?" You shake your head as you follow his story. " Well ever since she started working there she's been.. suspiciously enthusiastic to see me. I thought that maybe she was just grateful that I got her the job and decided not to read too much into it"

Sighing, Chris runs both of his hands over his face and then looks down at the marble of the island. "Today, she went with us to assist with the Hilfiger shoot, she was just there to help make sure that it all went smoothly. Everything seemed perfectly normal until we were in the vans on our way home. I sat in the back and she made it her mission to sit next to me even though she was supposed to be in the other van. She was quiet for a bit, just listening to me Han and Felix talk until she suddenly tapped me and started talking about fate. She said that she's been waiting for an opportunity to get closer to me and this job has given her that." 

He pauses as he takes a second to read your body language. You couldn't hide how tense you are even if you wanted to. Your first instinct was to explode before he could even finish his story. You wanted to call him a liar for saying that Michelle, your best friend since preschool, would say such a thing to him but sadly you knew he wasn't lying. After being with him for three years you've learned how to tell when he’s hiding something from you. 

"I told her that I didn't understand. I told her that she knows I'm with you and I'm happy in this relationship. I told her that I only got her the job because you asked me to. She proceeded to talk about how much she... how much she liked me and then she told me that watching me during the shoot turned her on... then she, she uh.. she kissed me." 

You urgently sat up in your seat as you imagined just what he said. There's no way that Michelle would do that to you… right?  "And I pushed her away immediately, as soon as I processed the feeling I panicked and Han saw it all."

Quietly, you start to piece together everything that Chris just put out in the open. There’s no way that Michelle would never betray you like that. The two of you are partners in crime, you love each other, you respect each other.  

"Michelle -" You pause, your buzzing thoughts making it more difficult to complete your sentence..  "She wouldn’t -" 

You attempt to process the information over and over, the fuzziness that the bourbon’s caused making it a bit hard to piece it all together clearly but you know that it's true. It’s obvious that Chris isn't lying. He scratches the back of his neck when he's lying and on top of that, he has no reason to tell a lie about Michelle.

 "That fucking skank" Your glass shatters on the kitchen floor as a storm of anger closes in on your senses. You stumble to your feet and go straight for your cell on the kitchen counter.  

"Y/n" Chris swiftly stalks after you, grabbing your waist from behind. 

"Fucking let go of me." You fight his hold but all it does is make him hold onto you tighter. 

"You're drunk, if you're going to call her, do it tomorrow." You continue to fight him, the rage you felt was only enhanced by the bourbon and you knew that, yet you couldn't find it in you to calm the storm in your chest

"How could she do this shit?" 

"Baby, please calm down." He drags you down to the kitchen floor and pulls you into his lap. To you, it felt like you were still fighting but you were still now, being cradled by Chris as you sobbed into his chest. The transition was unbeknownst to you, it was so sudden.  

"How could she do that to me? She knows…" Chris shushes you as he strokes your hair. His thumb softly rubbing soothing circles into the exposed skin of your thigh. 

"She knows you're mine." 

"I'm sorry, I was never going to keep this from you. I just didn't know.. I didn't know how to tell you. I was going to give it till the morning." 

"Did you like it.."

"What?" Looking down at you with furrowed brows Chris’ grip on you loosens just for it to tighten again.  "No, no I didn't. I pushed her away. I immediately felt… dirty and scared.. scared that she'd cost me your trust, scared that you'd freak out so badly that you'd hate me for even saying anything. I hated every second of it and I hate every second of this feeling that it left me with. I love you, Y/n. I've never wanted anything with anyone else and that includes Michelle."

Silence envelopes the two of you as he holds you and you him.  The situation at hand was looming slowly around the two of you. You're almost positive that Chris will call Han in the morning to confirm everything that he told you. And you'll call Michelle and ask her why the fuck she thought this was okay.  

"We should get you some water then into bed, it’s late" Slowly you nod your head to agree with him but before you can stand Chris scoops you up in his arms bridal style and stands. " I don't want you hurting yourself on the glass." 

You look down at the shattered shot glass on the kitchen floor then back up at Chris. He’s watching you with soft eyes, a weak smile pulling at his lips. A surge of desire washes over you and you can't help what happens next. Grabbing his face with both of your hands you kiss him hard and passionate. He kisses you back with the same hunger allowing your energies to mix in a delicious and raw display of passion. As his lips tangle with yours he takes a couple steps back, away from the mess on the kitchen floor. You can hear the crack beneath his shoe as he steps on a piece of stray glass. 

You comb your fingers through his hair, grabbing some of it and pull slightly at the roots. A moan slips from his lips and it drives you over the edge.  

"Please." You both are panting as you pull away and plead for him. " Please, I need you."

"You're drunk." He looks down at you with sad yet lust flooded eyes.  You can tell it's killing him to deny you of your desire. "Trust me, I want to but you're wasted and not even two minutes ago you were angry and crying...Right now you only want me to prove that she can’t, ask me again tomorrow and I won't hesitate" 

"Okay." The Silence comes back to hug you both as he carries you into your shared bedroom and sits you onto the bed.  

"I'm gonna get you some water and clean up that glass. You should shower and change into something for bed." He kisses you on your cheek and you watch him as he walks away. His black t-shirt and joggers fit him beautifully and you couldn't help but resent him for it just a bit. You don’t move, your thoughts are running too wild for you to think about doing anything else besides calling Michelle and yelling every profanity that you can think of at her. You almost don’t notice Chris come back into the room with a bottle of water in hand and confusion written on his features.

“Are you going to shower?” You look up at him with your glazed eyes, searching his features for the right answer but it’s no use. 

“I don’t know.” You whisper and Chris takes a step towards you, Standing in front of you and gently guiding your head to rest on his stomach. You sigh at the contact, taking in his gentle touch.

“Maybe we’ll just call it a night? Shower in the morning.” You nod your head lazily as a tear runs down your cheek and soaks into the cotton of his shirt.

“You’re mine, right?” He pulls back from you a bit to see your face. He cups your cheeks in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. 

“All yours, only yours.” His eyes stay on yours, a soft and loving gaze that you know holds nothing but the truth. You shake your head slightly, grinning a bit. 

“You promise?” He returns your grin before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“I promise.”

[solomons-poison]

Overworked

Lucifer x reader

: ̗̀➛ A/N: Uhhhh inspired by some history of burn out at work... >>; and just general issues with perfectionist ideas. Honestly, this has been in my drafts for nearly two years now. I was unhappy with how it sounded, but much like the message in this piece, I realized I need to be okay with less-than-perfect things. So cleaned it up a little bit and here you go. Written and edited on mobile so please excuse any formatting issues

: ̗̀➛ Warnings: GN reader, angst to fluff, general insecurities, crying, reader ignoring signs of sickness; Lucifer fluff, no established relationship but Lucifer is very soft on reader~

: ̗̀➛ Word Count: 4652

You should have known something was coming on before it got this bad, but unfortunately, you had a bad habit of ignoring body signals, which was ultimately your downfall.

You'd been feeling... off, for the past couple of days. More exhausted than usual, decreased appetite, just generally run down. You often found yourself in a daze, losing concentration on anything that wasn't your work assignments. It didn't help that the coursework at R.A.D. was naturally more difficult for you as a human, dealing with school subjects you never dreamed of or would ever encounter in the human realm. It was also a busy time in the school year, with big exams coming up and the workload increasing in difficulty by the day, so you attributed your exhaustion to this and wrote it off. Of course, by the time you realized what was going on, it was too late. This was mistake #1.

You woke up in the morning to your blaring alarm, feeling tired and sluggish again, and noticed the missed alarms on your phone. Although you occasionally slept through one or two alarms, you almost never slept this late unless you wanted to. But you didn't have time to think about the reasons and rationale on why your body sought so much extra rest. Instead, you pushed yourself through your confusion and sleepiness to get dressed and head down for breakfast as quickly as possible, hoping Lucifer wouldn't punish you too harshly. Mistake #2.

As you started to leave your room, you couldn't help but shiver a little and quickly grabbed a cardigan to wear over your uniform. It wasn't unusual for the air to feel chilly in the Devildom, thanks to the lack of sunlight. However, the chill seemed to be bone-deep this morning, and something in you felt the cardigan was going to be no help. In general, everything in you was screaming to take a day off and rest, but one of your classes had a quiz later that day that you knew you couldn't miss. Once again, you found yourself pushing forward regardless of the glaring warning signs in your peripheral vision.

Mistake #3.

By the time you made it to the dining room, everyone was already seated, including Belphie, a true testament to just how much you overslept. Everyone turned to glance at you except Beel, who was more focused on his food as per usual. Part of your brain noticed Lucifer looking at you a moment longer than the others, but it was forgotten as the second born pointed his fork at you accusingly.

"Finally, human! I thought ya were gonna sleep all day, with your alarm goin' off like that," he said.

"Sorry, Mammon. I guess I must have been sleeping pretty deeply," you replied, smiling sheepishly. You knew he was mostly pulling your leg, but your phone alarms had a tendency to be on the loud side and felt guilty for disturbing any of the brothers with the noise. "I don't even remember going to bed either."

"I don't think that's unusual, I do that all the time," Belphie piped up from down the table, earning pointed looks from the others.

You didn't miss the way the eldest brother's eyes sneaked up to look at you upon hearing your statement, though, clearly studying your face.

"Are you feeling alright, MC? You do seem to look rather tired this morning," Lucifer commented, eyebrows drawn together in concern.

You knew the second you made eye contact you'd be doomed to an interrogation, so you barely spared a glance before training your gaze on your breakfast as you responded. "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm sure I just stayed up too long studying for this quiz I've got today." But even as you said the words, you knew something wasn't right, and it only seemed to be getting worse the longer you sat there.

You could feel it in the air that Lucifer was unsatisfied with that answer, but he remained silent and you continued on with your food.

By the time you'd finished your breakfast, only a few brothers remained in the dining room after your late arrival. Beel and Belphie were both there. But strangely enough, it was Lucifer still being there that really confused you, given his penchant for being early to everything. Unfortunately, your fatigue-addled brain simply couldn't put forth the effort to think hard about the reason. The chill from earlier had now settled deep in your bones, and everything about the situation was screaming "wrong!!".

Once again ignoring the strange phenomena, you stood to bring your dishes back to the kitchen, but you were hit almost instantly by a wave of dizziness and shivering, knees buckling and your vision turning dark as you stumbled forward. You managed to catch yourself on a chair and stayed upright, but all three brothers were instantly on their feet. Lucifer got to you first, his gloved hand gripping your upper arm to steady you further.

"MC! Are you all right? What's wrong?" he questioned, voice rich with concern and a deep frown on his face. Beel and Belphie crowded around, watching you for any risk of falling.

You took a moment to breathe, cold sweat running down your back, fighting hard against the sensations running through your body, and worked up the strength to look up at the first born. "I'm OK. Sorry," you said, smiling shakily, but Lucifer's frown only deepened at your response. "I guess I was more tired than I thought."

"This is more than fatigue, MC. Are you certain you're not sick?"

You gathered the strength to stand a little taller. As you did, something in the back of your brain was yelling at you again that this was a mistake, to sit back down, to call out sick, rest, anything but go to class. But your stubbornness and anxiety won out, knowing that missing just the one class would really put you behind your studies, and you prided yourself on your ability to work hard on your own. You hadn't spent months of pushing yourself, working overtime and scouring textbook after textbook, to quit now from some measly sickness. Your brain just couldn't rationalize any other way around it.

"Really, Lucifer, I'm OK. You don't need to worry so much—" you managed to say, but as the last words left your mouth, your last bit of strength finally ran out, and a blanket of darkness came down on your vision as you lost consciousness.

“MC–!” “Hey!” Multiple voices called out as you passed out in front of them.

Beel caught your body as you fell back out of Lucifer's hold, and he quickly picked up your legs to hold onto your unconscious body. He could feel the heat radiating off your skin and a sad frown twisted his features.

"I think they have a fever," he said, holding you close to himself, and Belphie leaned in to take a closer look at your face.

Lucifer could feel his face fall at Beel's statement, but steeled himself quickly before either of his brothers could notice. However, all it would take is a closer look to see the worry evident in his dark ruby eyes. He sighed quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on as he quickly made up a plan to deal with this new development.

"Beel, could you bring MC up to their room?" Lucifer asked. "I'm going to contact Solomon for some medicine to help with their illness." Beel nodded and started to leave the dining room with you cradled in his arms, Belphie following close behind. However, just before they stepped through the doorway, Lucifer stopped them briefly. "And do not bring this up with the others. If anyone else hears MC is sick, they're all going to leave class to come here and MC needs to rest. I will tell them when it’s appropriate."

He could tell both younger brothers wanted to say something about that, but luckily, they simply nodded and continued on their way. Once he was alone, Lucifer took a moment to himself to stop and breathe, anxiety coursing through his veins at the situation. But he shook it off as best he could before sending a notice out to Solomon, and another notice to Lord Diavolo and Barbatos to alert about your absence. He would have time to fret later, but for now, he needed to focus on you and making sure that you were taken care of. The last thing he needed was to let something terrible happen to one of the human exchange students and possibly disappoint Lord Diavolo… at least, that's what he told himself. But really, he knew it was more than that. Pushing those thoughts away, he shook his head and moved onwards, focusing on the task at hand.

After sending his messages, he quickly gathered some basic supplies, washcloths and a bowl for water to make a cold compress, as well as an extra blanket, and brought them up to your room where Belphie and Beel were waiting. You'd been laid out on your bed covered by a light blanket, your face contorted in discomfort. Lucifer could feel his heart twist in his chest at your visible pain.

"I will take over from here, you can go now," he said, setting down his supplies and removing his cloak.

Belphie frowned, crossing his arms in frustration. "MC is sick, we're not going anywhere. Class can wait–" he started, but Lucifer cut him off with a glare.

"No, you are not staying here," Lucifer said definitively. "MC needs to rest, and they cannot do that with a crowd in the room. Solomon is on his way here with medicine and I will be taking care of them in the meantime."

Belphie practically bristled, the tension in the room almost palpable between the eldest and youngest brothers, but Beel placed a hand on Belphie's shoulder, attempting to calm him down.

"Look, I don't care if you don't attend class today," Lucifer continued, his stress levels exhausting him of energy to fight. "But I want MC to get the rest they need. Until Solomon arrives and we can contact a more knowledgeable physician on human illnesses, we don't know how sick they are. I will keep you updated if anything changes, but for now, you must leave."

Beel and Belphie were silent for a long minute, not breaking eye contact with Lucifer. Eventually, they relented, however, and Belphie sighed, turning away towards the door.

"Fine, we'll go. Come on, Beel," Belphie muttered, going out the door with one last glance to your sleeping form.

Beel started to follow, but turned to Lucifer at the last moment. “We can pick up some food for MC to help them feel better. Would that be okay?”

Lucifer’s eyes widened at the request before softening, knowing his brothers were simply worried about their precious human. He nodded, and Beel smiled happily. “Yes, that will be fine. I believe easy to eat foods will be best, something to make into a soup or broth. I’ll also ask Solomon for recommendations on human world foods.”

“Awesome, I’ll tell Belphie,” Beel replied, smiling back, and headed out the door.

Now that Lucifer was finally alone with you, he heaved a great sigh that was almost too loud for the sudden silence. He shed his coat, placing it over the chair at your desk, before rolling up his sleeves and removing his gloves. He retrieved some cool water from your bathroom and dipped the washcloth in, then took a seat beside your bed, wringing the washcloth before pressing it to your forehead.

The fever had caused a sweat to break out, and your face was twisted in pain even in your sleep. The sound of your labored breathing weighed heavily on Lucifer's mind. But the cooling effects of the washcloth seemed to alleviate your discomfort a little as your face relaxed, and seeing you a little more comfortable eased the ache in his heart. The weight that had been sitting on his shoulders ever since you fainted lifted a little, giving him the slightest bit of relief, and he turned around to refresh your washcloth.

“Mmm.. Lu..cifer…”

Lucifer’s ears perked up almost embarrassingly fast upon hearing you say his name, and his head whipped around to look at you. However, it was evidently just talking in your sleep as your eyes remained closed and your breathing was even. He reached over to pull the blanket up, tucking you in, and did his best to ignore the pounding of his heart.

Although you two weren't a couple, you still seemed to hold a special place in his heart alongside his brothers. You were family now, but even that word didn't seem sufficient for the way he felt. And seeing you so sick all of a sudden gave him a greater shock than he was prepared for. It was moments like this that he realized how truly mortal you were, that you didn’t recover from sickness the same way Lucifer and his brothers could.

He couldn’t even be sure of what you were sick with. For all he knew, he was overreacting and you were likely fine. But still, the fear of the unknown settled deep in his heart, unable to rest until he could get an answer. For now, all he could do was swallow down his worries and continue on with what he was doing, trying to ignore the desperate aching in his chest.

Half an hour passed before a knock resounded at your bedroom door, and Lucifer okayed entry without taking his eyes off of you. He was settled back in your chair, sleeves still rolled up in an unusual display of casualness, although his crossed arms betrayed his true feelings. Solomon quietly opened the door, peeking his head in before entering, a small satchel in his arms that clinked softly as he moved it. Barbatos had come with him and trailed through silently, letting Solomon take the lead.

“Wow, MC really is sick,” Solomon commented, seeing your quiet form tucked in on the bed. However, he wasn’t sure which to be more surprised by, the fact you had fallen ill like this or the sight of Lucifer dressed down, sitting at your bedside.

Lucifer sighed, moving his stiff form now to turn and look at your guests. “Yes, they were looking awful all during breakfast, and after getting up from their chair, they just fainted. I’m not sure what it is, but they have some kind of fever. I’ve been applying this compress but of course we don’t have any human world medicine here.”

Solomon nodded, setting down his satchel on the top of your desk. “I’ve brought a potion that will help bring down their fever for now,” he said, removing a carefully packaged vial filled with a fascinating colored liquid. “Unfortunately, I’m not a doctor so I can’t treat the root cause, but I’ll do my best until a physician can get here.”

“That’s fine, thank you,” Lucifer said, nodding. He glanced at Barbatos, who was standing silently at the foot of your bed. “I didn’t expect you to come here, Barbatos. Did you need something?”

Barbatos only shook his head.

“No, when I received your message that MC was sick, I thought it best to bring some tea for them to drink," he replied, bringing forward a small tin. "Peppermint tea is supposed to provide some medicinal properties, such as relieving fever and nausea. Once MC is awake, perhaps they can drink it to help their symptoms. I've also called on the services of a doctor who is familiar with human health and illnesses, they should be arriving soon."

Lucifer accepted it, taking the tin and placing it on your bedside table. "Yes, that will be good, thank you," he said, prompting a small smile from the butler.

Lucifer reached over and gently shook your shoulders, feeling terrible for waking you but wanting to get the potion in your body already. “MC, can you hear me?” he said softly, and your face scrunched a little in response. “Solomon has brought some medicine to help your fever, you should try to take some.”

Solomon and Barbatos couldn't help glancing at each other at the demon's gentle tone.

"Lucifer..?" You mumbled, bleary eyes blinking several times as you struggled to wake up.

"Yes, it's me," he responded, heart fluttering again at the sound of your voice. "Do you remember what happened? You had passed out after breakfast."

"Oh. That's wild."

Lucifer couldn't help himself as his eyebrows shot up at your response, which was obviously the product of still being half-asleep. But it was a very you response, and he refrained from laughing. He opened his mouth to continue, but was cutoff as you suddenly gasped, shooting up from the bed.

"My quiz! What happened to my quiz?" you shouted, but the outburst was short-lived as the sudden change in elevation made you waver, your fatigued body not strong enough to handle this.

Lucifer caught your body as you started to fall backwards, and he gently eased you back onto your pillow. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Of all the things to think about now, a quiz was on your mind?

"You passed out in front of me and you're worried about a quiz?" he couldn't help but question. "Diavolo was made aware of what happened, you don't have to worry about your class. We're more concerned with your fever, we think you may be sick."

Solomon took the chance to step forward, grabbing the colorful vial he'd brought earlier.

"Here, MC, this potion should help you feel better for now. But we're trying to find you a doctor just to make sure everything is okay," he said, uncorking the vial. Despite your dubious look, you accepted and drank it down with his help before settling back down on the pillow. You could immediately feel the effects of the potion, already getting some relief from the fatigue in your body and the cold sweats plaguing you.

Barbatos also took the opportunity to speak up, stepping up to the end of your bed. “I’ve also brought you some peppermint tea leaves. Please let me know if you’d like me to brew some tea for you. The Young Lord is wishing for your speedy recovery.”

“Thanks, Solomon, that does make me feel a little better. And not right now, Barbatos, but that does sound really good, I appreciate it. Please tell Diavolo thank you for me, as well.” You closed your eyes for a moment, relaxing against your pillow, before opening them again and looking at the three people in your room. “I’m sorry for worrying everyone, I promise I’ll get better soon.”

Lucifer only shook his head at you, pulling up your blanket around your body and tucking you in.

“You can hardly blame us for worrying about you, you have left a strong impression on all of us. Just focus on resting for now, a physician should be coming by soon,” he said, a slight smile on his lips. The other two smiled back at you, as well, before Solomon said his goodbyes and left.

Barbatos stayed behind to wait, eventually making you the tea in the meantime and just involving you in some small talk to comfort you. Once the physician arrived, Barbatos and Lucifer both left to give you some privacy, nervously waiting outside your door for the results. Lucifer even settled on the ground against the wall, sleeves still rolled up and hair a mess, uncharacteristically ruffled.

Although you had seemed in better spirits after taking Solomon’s potion and resting, Lucifer still felt restless, waiting for your assessment to be finished. When he heard your door click open, it was almost embarrassing how quickly he shot to his feet, afraid for the worst. But the physician quickly assuaged his fears.

Despite the fever and the passing out, everything pointed to simple burnout, caused by you overworking yourself in an attempt to get ahead. You would need to wait out the remainder of the fever, taking medicine as needed to help it along. But overall, the most important thing you needed now was rest, and plenty of it. Thankfully, that would be easy enough to arrange.

Unfortunately, the answer was not a surprising one. Lucifer knew that, despite the offers from him and the other RAD council members, you often declined on any kind of assistance or tutoring with your work. His own sin prompted him to say it was pride that prevented you from accepting outside help. But he knew that in general, you felt it could be a weakness, especially being in an environment with those that still looked down on humans and were uncertain of your place in their society. Deeper than that, he also knew you considered yourself a burden, trying to reduce your presence whenever possible, leaving you to work twice as hard to complete the same tasks.

Sometimes he wished that you would rely on him a little more, come to him when you needed help or just a listening ear. But if anyone understood the need to maintain their pride, it was the the Avatar of Pride himself. Lucifer also knew he hadn’t always been the most supportive, memories of your new arrival and the way he treated you burned into his mind like a shameful brand, so he couldn’t blame you for keeping things to yourself. But maybe, after this whole episode was resolved and you were back to full health, things could be different.

He stepped into your room once the physician departed, and you were sitting up in bed, propped up by your pillows. You were already looking much better than earlier, and it eased his heart immensely. Lucifer didn’t even need to say anything, as your sheepish expression said it all, but he still wanted to make sure of something.

“I trust you understand what the doctor has told you about your condition and what to do now,” he said. He couldn’t help gravitating towards you, ending up at the side of your bed once more.

You nodded, squeezing your hands nervously in front of you.

“I know, I understand,” you said, your voice meek and rough from your exhaustion.

Honestly, the whole thing was embarrassing. You were just trying to keep up with your classmates, make sure you weren’t embarrassing the Prince of the Devildom or the Seven Avatars that were hosting you in their home. And for a while, it seemed to be working. Sure you felt a little tired, but at least your grades were exemplary. But of course, it couldn’t be that easy, or stay that easy.

As you recalled what happened up until you passed out, and bits and pieces of Lucifer caring for you afterwards came to mind, you found yourself unable to make eye contact. Your body felt hot again, but it wasn’t the fever this time. Not only did you end up passing out from your efforts, but it was Lucifer that took care of you in the end. It was mortifying, truly. But almost as if sensing your feelings, Lucifer sat at the edge of your bed, his still-uncovered hand moving to cover both of yours.

The touch surprised you, making you look up finally, but his next words were what truly took you off guard.

“I know that you feel you have to work hard to keep up with your studies,” Lucifer said, squeezing your hands gently. “And while we— Diavolo and I— appreciate your efforts, the whole point of you coming to the Devildom was not to get good grades. You are part of the exchange program, but you are also our guest. I know we have not always been as welcome as we should have been, but we hope that you can come to us when you feel that you’re struggling. At least, I hope that you can come to me, if you are struggling.”

You couldn’t help it as your eyes widened. A soft look you’d never noticed before filled Lucifer’s face, a reassuring smile gracing his lips. You’d seen a lot of expressions cross Lucifer’s face, but this was the rarest of all, and one you never expected to be aimed towards you.

This, combined with his words, was all too much for you at once. Suddenly, your vision was swimming and something wet was falling down one of your cheeks, dripping onto your shirt. Almost immediately, Lucifer’s smile dropped in panic, and through your tears, you could just barely make out his mouth opening and closing as he struggled for words.

“Oh—” Damn it. Lucifer wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting when he told you how he felt, but it certainly wasn’t tears. He quickly reached up, brushing away your tears with his fingers, his touch awkward but achingly gentle. Of course, his touch only made you cry harder.

“I– I’m sorry, MC, it wasn’t my intention to make you cry,” he said, finally remembering a handkerchief he keeps in his vest, and patted your cheeks with it, trying desperately to slow your tears.

You struggled to calm yourself down, wanting to reassure the demon of any misunderstanding.

“I-it’s not that,” you said, involuntary gasps breaking up your words. “I just feel so stupid. Like I just keep making the same dumb mistakes over and over again, no matter what. And now here I am, sick in bed and you’re having to take care of me, and you’re being so nice, and I just don’t know what to do.”

“Nice” wasn’t a word often used to describe Lucifer, at least not anymore. And he could guess that it’s not a word you’d used to describe him in the past. It also hurt him to hear how you saw yourself and all your efforts. Although you came across as reckless and a little ridiculous at times, you were also genuine and a hard worker. Lucifer’s pride made it difficult for him to admit many things, but he genuinely came to appreciate the way you treated your studies, unlike some of his brothers. Even if your grades were poor, even if you struggled with the subjects, he simply admired your sincerity in everything you did, and that was enough to make him happy. He just wished that you could feel the same.

“I think you’re being generous by calling me nice. But you don’t need to do anything special, MC,” he said. Finally, your tears were starting to dry a little bit, easing his own aching heart. “We all appreciate your efforts, but we just want you to keep being yourself, more than anything. Keep reminding us that you are human, in the way only you can. Of course, if you can do that without worrying me sick, that would also be appreciated.”

The last part made you laugh, and you couldn’t help but sniffle as the crying finally ended.

“Okay.”

“And if you’re having trouble with a subject, many of us would be happy to help you. Satan does make an excellent tutor, and despite Belphie’s knack for sleeping in class, he often has a good grasp on the subjects as well.” Now that your eyes were dry, Lucifer put the damp handkerchief back in his pocket in order to use a hand to squeeze yours. His other hand brushed over your cheek, rubbing softly, soothingly.

You could only nod, more tears threatening to rip a sob from you if you opened your mouth again. But no more words were needed, getting to relax your impossible standards for once and finally feeling at peace knowing that there were others there to support you, including a certain red-eyed devil at your side.

As always, reblogs and comments are appreciated! 💜 You can also support me by buying a coffee ☕️!

[sopiao]

hey!! i love your writing so so much oh my god. your account is just perfect– if it's not too luch to ask (and forgive me if this is a little long) can i request headcanons with taskforce 141 + masc reader???

reader's kind of distant from the rest of the task force. they all get along with him just fine, does what he's asked to do on missions and all that, but he just feels kind of... absent. nobody really gets what his deal is, but they've gotten used to him. (BONUS POINTS IF HE ALSO WEARS A MADK HE DOESNT TAKE OFF THAT OFTEN... i wanna be cool too </3)

one day he wakes them up, and (to their surprise) tells them that he had a nightmare. this is the softest his voice has ever been and the most he's ever opened up– just. fluff and comfort lolz :p

FIRST TIME WITH FLUFF OR COMFORT!!!

i’ve always had a hard time writing this kind of stuff but i’m cleaning out my inbox so.. ^^

SORRRYYY IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO GET TO THIS >3<

it sorta implies angst?? like the nightmare is something serious of an issue?? idk

(Callsign will be Anon to make it easier for me ☹️)

Anon has always been distant, keeping some space and never really contributing to any of the conversations x But they still treasure him just as much as each other. They understand that some people just have a hard time with stuff like that or just don’t wanna get into it in general.

Soap and Ghost always makes constant visual checks to see if he’s still part of the group, since he’s always quite as a mouse it’s hard to keep track of him. Price would make sure to save a seat for him whenever he’s a little late. And Gaz would always check up on you from time to time.

They make sure you felt part of the team. Just because Anon doesn’t really have a deep connection with any of them doesn’t make him any less one of them.

—

In the middle of a mission they all had to sleep in a safe house for the night. A rather small one since they had to share a room together. Sleeping bags all lined up across the room. One soldier found it hard to get at least a wink of sleep. Price’s and Soap’s loud and grumbling snoring didn’t really disturb them since it was practically white noise to him now.

After half an hour Anon finally found the ability to be carried into rest. It was peaceful for a while. Until he woke up violently, body twitched when he woke up from how intense it was. He found that it was hard to keep his breathing under control and try to focus on one thing. Physically and emotionally.

He put this off as a last resort and tried everything to calm himself down. But when all else failed he turned to Ghost beside him. Reaching for his mask and hastily pulling his mask over his head, hesitating before bringing his hand up to shake Ghost awake, he’s a light sleeper anyway.

“What? What happened?” After a second to comprehend what was happening he sat up and looked around, thinking something happened, like someone broke in or someone found them. But once he saw his comrade’s, somewhat, relaxed but worried eyes and stopped.

Sitting up fully and comfortably, he asked if everything was alright. Judging by his lack of response Ghost nodded, immediately understanding and not making a big deal out of it since this is way out of his comfort zone.

“Go on.” He nodded his head, sitting next to him and relaxing against the wall, still half asleep but still willing, very willing, to listen and comfort if needed. Ghost listened intently as Anon began to explain and mumble out what happened in his sleep.

“Uhm.. Fuck— Now that I’m thinking about this, it sounds stupid—” Looking down and fiddling with the edge of his sleeping bag Anon’s interrupted by Ghost.

“Just tell me. You’ve already got me up” He’s probably not the best one for comfort, but he knows he’s trying, not the best with his words, but he’s willing to listen.

It stuns him for a second with his bluntness, but chuckles lightly, knowing that he really does wanna listen. He starts to explain, second guessing himself every couple sentences, but slowly he gets more comfortable with sharing.

Halfway through Soap starts to stir and move in his sleep, making both stop and just stare. Turning around to see both sleeping bags empty, Soap immediately sits up and searches for them, only to see them off the side, sitting together.

“Oh.. shit..” He calms himself down, both Ghost and Anon look at each other before looking back at Soap. He slowly sits up and crawls over to where they are, next to Anon so he’s between Ghost and Soap.

“What’re you two doin’ up?” Somehow his accent is deeper when he’s half-awake. Slouching back against the wall, almost leaning on Anon’s shoulder.

“I couldn’t sleep after.. a.. uhhh… nightmare” Anon was hesitant to explain, wondering if waking up his friends were really worth it, hoping that they wouldn’t make fun of him. Soap just hums in response.

“Nightmare? Al’right. Continue” To Anon’s surprise, Soap wants in too. He looks back to Ghost who just shrugs and nods, silently telling you that it’s up to him whether he wants to share or not.

Before Anon can even start again, both Price and Gaz wake up, both confused as fuck, but following along, dragging their sleeping bags over to him. They were all now wide awake, Price laying back in his sleeping bag, arms crossed, half-awake but still lucid enough to understand stuff coherently.

Anon started to explain again, relaxed to see how supportive his teammates are with how little they really know about him. Once he got to a certain part of the nightmare, the part that really made it a nightmare, his lungs felt tight once again.

Suddenly his mask felt so thick and concrete, he had to lift it up to his nose to breathe. Blubbering out apologies between breathes as they tried not to stare too much.

“Nah, nah. You’re fine” Ghost reassured him through his mutters, rubbing his back to try and soothe him. It didn’t, but it was something. Something that they were there to listen.

“Don’t force yourself if you don’t wanna tell” Gaz nodded, not wanting to force Anon to go too much out of his comfort zone, in the chance that he changed his mind and wasn’t okay with sharing this kind of stuff.

“I’m fine.. fine” Anon nodded his head, realizing how much of his face he exposed and tried to cover it up with his hands so he can still breath. But for those couple seconds that his lower half of his face was open. A large, old, scar decorated his lips, diagonally going from the top right to bottom left, almost reaching his chin.

With something so unexpected being exposed, the fact that Anon even reached out, it made them all alert to watch out for his emotions and how he’s feeling. But what was most surprising for them, was how he talked. It was usually so stern and short, always getting straight to the point. Almost robot like. But now, it’s softer, more warm but sorta confused, he fumbled in his words a little but it was just so different than how he is out on the base.

An hour has passed, but now that all of that is out of Anon’s head, and everything, almost everything, was off his chest, the sleepiness started to catch up to him. In the midst of Ghost explaining how he was feeling and the possible reason for it, Anon was already asleep, snoring softly as he struggled to keep up.

They knew that this was something you’d never do. So it was a sort of shock for him to break his blocked off demeanor. But it made them feel good that Anon even considered venting. Even if it was something small like a complaint or something annoying, they wanted him ti let it out.

(this has been in my drafts for forever T-T)

[clownprincehoeshi]

Parallel Hearts - Chapter 10

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. Maybe you finally have your shot at love and happiness. Or not.

Pairing: fem reader x idol Jungkook fem reader x idol Mingyu fem reader x idol Hoshi

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Warnings: Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Harrassment-Stalking-Death mentions-Cheating

Word count: 10.453

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Rebloging is important and much apreciated. Leave your comments, oppinions, ideas, whatever you like. My inbox in open. Kpop writers, let’s be moots?

Things were awkward at dinner that night. You wanted to just stay in your room and sleep, but Hana didn’t let you be so petty.

Even though you knew you had feelings for Soonyoung, you were not sure how deep they went and you didn’t really know what to do about them, because you promised yourself to never fall in love again or get involved again.

You also didn’t know that he felt pretty much the same, maybe a little more confused and in denial about his feelings.

He knew he had feelings for you and that he found you ridiculously sexy.

Right after dinner, the guys decided to watch a movie. Jun dragged you to the couch and made you sit next to him for cuddles.

He felt you were not in a good mood so he wanted to keep you close and safe. You thought you will tell him tomorrow about the conversation you had with Hoshi.

The couch was in an U shape and everyone was sitting and laying on it. You could feel the whole movie Soonyoung’s eyes on you.

The back of your head was burning, you felt really conflicted and flustered.

Jun: Are you ok?

Y/N: Not really, but I don’t want to talk about it today.

Jun: Ok, whenever you’re ready.

Y/N: Thanks, Juni!

And you ended that with a kiss on his head.

You couldn’t miss the way Hoshi was watching you that moment. He looked almost… jealous? You were sure you were wrong.

As soon as the movie ended, you said goodnight and ran to your room, not waiting to hear a response from anyone.

After some minutes, Hana came into the room.

Hana: Ok, let’s talk.

Y/N: Not today. Pleeeaase!

Hana: Like…Soonyoung looked like a sad puppy all night. What are you planning on doing about this situation?

Y/N: I don’t know, I’d rather not do anything and it will go away with time.

Hana: Stupid, but whatever.

Y/N: Why, what would you do?

Hana: First, I would stop being a coward who’s running away from love.

You scoff and move to the window to watch the moon.

Y/N: Pffff love? Let’s say that’s what I’m feeling. How do I know it’s what he’s feeling? We know he doesn’t want to get into something serious anytime soon. He said it himself, he said he’s not ready for that. What f it’s just fun for him? What if I give him a chance and after he gets what he needs and he gets bored, I end up broken again? Then what, start from the beginning again and again?

Hana: Nobody knows what could happen. And I really doubt that he is that type of guy to just look for an easy fuck. Like come on, he’s so harmless. Even when he gets angry and yells at his members it makes you laugh you ass off.

Y/N: Exactly! I can’t even take his anger seriously. Don’t you think that’s an issue? How could I take his words, his confession seriously?

Hana: Girl, you’re talking nonsense right now. I thought you were smarter than that. Is it the Sun? Did it fry your neurons? I think that you laughing when he gets angry is the cutest thing ever, I wish I had that with a guy.

Y/N: You know what? This conversation will end up frying my brain, let’s just talk about it another day. I just want to sleep and start work again in two days. There is so much to do for the next concerts, we should focus on that.

In the morning, you made sure to wake up really early and be in the parking lot first, so you could get a seat in the car in the front and next to someone else, not Hoshi.

You decided you will try to stay away from him for a while.

It was not easy thought, because you worked together. You had to see him every day. You took the plane together, had all the meetings together, all the rehearsals, and almost all dinners after the show.

You would catch him looking at you with sad eyes and pouty lips. You thought he hasn’t changed at all from his baby pictures. The same pouty cute face.

You were sure you never met anyone cuter and more adorable than him and it was driving you crazy.

You were sure he was doing things on purpose just to get a reaction from you. He would bump into you “by accident” while in a crowded space when there were rehearsals or shows going on.

He would just look you right in the eyes and say sorry, then run away like he got shy.

You were having a couple concerts in France and you were in Paris for the week. The company decided that it was good for publicity to have the boys attend some shows for the fashion week.

Somehow, you ended up going too at the YSL show where Jeonghan was a brad ambassador. You had to go shopping for this and pick some fancy clothes and accessories.

At the event, you chose to wait a little outside to see the boys arriving. It felt thrilling. The crowd was huge and so noisy, everyone brought albums and photocards, hoping they’ll get signed.

You remember when you were like them few years back, dreaming of seeing your idols. Now you are working for them and it gave you some encouragement that your life is good and you’ll be fine.

Maybe dating an idol was never a good idea for you. While you were deep in your thoughts, you felt someone pat your shoulder. You turn to see an unfamiliar face. A guy who seemed to be a paparazzi.

Paparazzi: Excuse me, do we know each other? I feel like I know you.

Y/N: Uhhh, no, I don’t think so. You don’t look familiar.

Paparazzi: Wait, were you in Italy like 2 years ago?

Y/N: I was, yeah. Why?

Paparazzi: Damn, I still have a good memory.

Hana: So how do you know her?

Paparazzi: It’s a crazy story, but I was paid to follow you on your vacation and take pictures.

Y/N: Ohh? People would do anything for money, uh?

Paparazzi: Hey, was just doing my job and the money were really good. But I remember that just a few of the pictures were published, I never found out what happened with the rest.

Y/N: Do you happen to still have the rest of the photos?

Paparazzi: No, the guys who paid me made sure I deleted everything after. But I could just tell you what they were about.

Y/N: Yes!!

Paparazzi: Well, it showed you and your boyfriend holding hands, kissing, stuff like that. What was the deal, was like one of you cheating on your spuse? Why would someone want normal photos like those?

Y/N: Oh, no, nothing like that. Just a stalker ex, but it was all solved in the end and he stopped with his harassing.

Paparazzi: Glad to hear that. Well I need to go and photograph some celebrities now. Take care!

Y/N: You too!

Hana: That was weird. What a strange coincidence.

Y/N: Indeed. Weird.

You could barely see the boys behind the crowd of screaming fans, so you decided it was better to go inside the venue and find your seats.

It was an old theatre where all guests were sitting all around the huge place. the models would walk between the seatings. The lighting show was really something, and the music went to perfect with it.

You were like a little kid, fascinated by this new world you were discovering. It also made you feel somewhat happy that Soonyoung was there too.

He was doing everything in his power not to look at you too often, because he was afraid it would be obvious and raise suspicions.

But Jeonghan really wanted your team to be there and just have a fun evening doing something different.

When the show was over, everyone came around the boys to take photos and interviews. There were other idols invited there, Jackson, Bam Bam, Eunwoo, Karina, Sana.

Your eyes immediately went to Hoshi when he started interacting with Karina. You remember they filmed for a show together, but you couldn’t help the jealousy that was creeping up.

Afterall, you could not compare to her. She was so pretty, charming and she’s in the same industry as him. You’re sure she would be a better match for him than you.

Yeah, of course you dated idols and you weren’t ugly, but look at her. She’s famous and rich, you’re not.

Y/N: Hana,let’s go, ok?

Hana: But we decided we’ll have dinner all of us together after this and discuss some more about the show in 3 days.

Y/N: Ugh, fuck! You’re right, it’s important to decide tonight what are we going to do about the videos we’ll chose for the big wall.

Hana: Let’s have a drink then we’ll head with our team to the restaurant, ok?

After one drink you felt a little tipsy. You thought you barely had any alcohol in your cocktail, but guess not.

The guys were still mingling with organisers, press people, celebrities and even models.

Hana: Stop being so obvious! Those girls won’t eat him.

Y/N: What if they do? He looks like a tiny delicious cute cake. They have eyes.

Hana: God, you’re an idiot in love.

As you two were whispering net to your colleagues, some guys that were much older than you came over to talk to you.

“Hello there, can we offer you girls a drink? We’re William and David, nice to meet you!”

Hana: Hello, thank you for your offer, but we are on our way out soon.

William: Oh, no way! Why leave so early?

Y/N: We have dinner reservations and need to meet our friends.

Davis: We won’t hear that. Tell you what, we have a better idea. How about you join us on our yacht and continue the party there?

These guys were becoming annoying and you just hate people who won’t take your first answer and will keep insisting.

You look around, trying to not get angry, because you know if they won’t shut up soon you’ll make them eat their words.

While you’re trying to distract yourself and letting your friends manage the situation, you catch Mingyu staring your direction.

He shakes his head, trying to figure out if you’re ok. He could see your annoyed face and they old guys who looked a little drunk all over your group.

Then you see him walk in your direction and you gulp. What is he doing? There is press here.

He puts his arms around the two men’s shoulders, towering over them.

Mingyu: Hello! How are you, my friends?

William: Oh, excuse me, we were having a conversation here. Who are you?

Mingyu: You don’t remember me? Come on, drink with me!

And he drags them to the bar with his strong arms, the men not realising what’s going on. He saved you. Once again. A little giggle went trough you, as you were watching him trying his best to make the men feel uncomfortable, giving them some of their own medicine.

You took advantage and left to the restaurant and after half an hour, the rest of the people arrived also. You wanted to thank Mingyu in person so you gave him a sign with your hand to follow you, after you all ordered your food.

You found a place outside where you sat on a bench.

Mingyu: Are you ok?

Y/N: Yes, just wanted to thank you for that.

Mingyu: Oh, don’t mention it. I will always help a friend in need.

Y/N: We’re friends?

Mingyu: I hope we are. You don’t want to?

Y/N: Umm…I don’t want to be enemies and we work together. So we kind of need to be friends.

Mingyu: I guess I’m not forgiven yet.

Y/N: Sorry, was not trying to sound rude. I forgave you, but it feels weird.

Mingyu: Yeah, true. But how are you after…everything that happened?

Y/N: Good, I think. It’s been some months since we broke up. It’s been tough at first, but now I can say that I’m over it and happy. What about you?

Mingyu: Um, yeah. I am fine. It left me disappointed in myself that I wasn’t more careful about the people around me. I can be pretty naïve and stupid. Anyway, it’s in the past and it’s done.

Y/N: You think we can be friend just like we used to be before?

Mingyu: You bet! I’m ready to start over.

Y/N: I think I’m ready too. I miss you. Our friendship

He takes your hand is his, while looking ahead at some trees. A moment of silence follows. This was a decisive moment that helped you realise your feelings for him were not there anymore. He felt just as a friend and you were glad.

Mingyu: Let’s get back inside, don’t want your boyfriend get the wrong idea.

Y/N: My what?

He just have you a wink and ran away giggling.

Y/N: Yaa, Kim Mingyu!

Seungcheol: What are you two up to? Come on, food is here!

Mingyu: Yes, dad!

Soonyoung avoided your eyes for the rest of the night. He felt sad and angry. He couldn’t believe Mingyu would try to get back with you after he said he is over you and there can’t be anything between you anymore. After he told Mingyu he liked you and asked for advice.

But Mingyu played with him before, he could do it again, right? He decided to have a work with him after dinner.

22:38

Kwon Hoshi: Mingyu ya, let’s take the same car to the hotel, I need to talk to you alone

22:41

Mingoo: Why are you texting me, I’m right in front of you

22:41

Kwon Hoshi: None of your business, I do what I want

As soon as they were in the car alone, Hoshi started talking without breathing.

Hoshi: What the hell are you trying to do now, get back with her? Are you trying to play games with me again, selling me lies? What the fuck, Mingyu, what’s wrong with you? You said it’s over over and you know how I feel about her.

Mingyu: Hold on, tiger! You’re jumping to conclusion again. See if you’re not paying attention to the people around you? Things happen and things are said and they go over your head.

Hoshi: Just answer my questions

Mingyu: Everything I told you is true, it’s over between me and her and she and I made that very clear tonight. We shook hands and decided to leave the past behind and be friends like we used to be. And how could you think I would try to hurt you?

Hoshi: What was I supposed to think? You two were in love, she won’t give me a chance and you were gone like 20 minutes tonight, alone.

Mingyu: Awww, little tiger is jealous. Don’t be, you’re safe with me. But can’t say the same about other men, strangers. She’s a beautiful and smart woman, men will try to win her over. Didn’t you see the two guys who were trying to offer her drinks at the event?

Hoshi: No, what guys?

Mingyu: Don’t worry about them, they had no chance. Now tell me what’s your plan on breaking her walls down. Because I just know she’s very strongheaded and she is closed off now.

As Soonyoung got into bed, he was a little buzzed from the alcohol and from Mingyu hyping him up so he needed to hear from you. He just misses you. Even your little bickering.

00:13

Soonyoung: Y/N!!

00:14

Y/N: Soonyoung!

Soonyoung: What are you doing?

Y/N: Texting you

Soonyoung: Besides that

Y/N: Lying in bed, trying to sleep

Soonyoung: Who were those guys?

Y/N: What guys?

Soonyoung: The guys from the fashion event who were hitting on you

Y/N”: Oh, grandpa and grandfather. I have no idea, they just invited us on their yacht

Soonyoung: Do you want to go?

Y/N: On their yacht?

Soonyoung: Yeah. Did you like them?

Y/N: Ridiculous to think that, they were my dad’s age, maybe older.

Soonyoung: I wouldn’t know what your’re into, you’ve rejected me, so you might not be into guys your age

Y/N: I’ve had boyfriends my age and you know some of them

Soonyoung: Don’t remind meee, you are so mean

Y/N: Don’t tell me you’re jealous

Soonyoung: You got a problem with that? I can feel whatever I want

Y/N: You shouldn’t feel jealous, I’m not your girlfriend

Soonyoung: Because you don’t want to

Y/N: You never even asked me to be

Soonyoung: Then be my girlfriend

Y/N: NO

Soonyoung: See? Mean

Y/N: Shut up

Soonyoung: You shut up

Y/N: YOU  shut up, hamster

Soonyoung: Take that back!!!!!!

Y/N: Nah

Soonyoung: Why are you so annoying?

Y/N: And you like me anyway

Soonyoung: You shouldn’t make fun of my feelings…

Y/N: I’m sorry, didn’t mean to do that

Y/N: Soonyoung?

Y/N: ☹

Soonyoung felt hurt by your words. You knew he is a sensitive and impulsive guy, but you were close enough to joke like that. He decided to stop replying, worried that he might say to much or maybe become mean himself.

As he was trying to get comfortable in his bed, he heard a faint knock on his door. Thinking that he probably was not hearing well, he closed his eyes again. Then he hears knocking for a second time.

Getting out of bed, he walks to the door and checks the little visor. There you were, in your pj’s, waiting for him to open.

Soonyoung: I don’t want to talk to you, go away

You look at him and you don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you push him, step into his room and close the door behind you.

He gets quiet and just looks at you with pink cheeks and pouty mouth. That ridiculously pretty pouty mouth you can’t take your eyes of. His brows frown and he swallows hard.

You take one step. Two steps. He doesn’t realise how he’s stepping back slowly. He thinks you look beautiful like this. Furious and angry at him, but still beautiful. His heart beats so fast and he thinks you can hear it.

His legs reach his bed and he stops. You stop also, right before him. Your bodies are so close that you can feel the heat coming from him.

Y/N: Why are you ghosting me now?

Soonyoung: I don’t talk to bullies. I could be a jerk to you too, you deserve it. And I still don’t do it

Y/N: So do it! Be a jerk to me!

Soonyoung: Why would you want that?

Y/N: Like you said, I deserve it.

With that, you turned around and left his room. You left him confused and annoyed. Why did you want him to be a jerk to you? At some point he even thought you were going to kiss him.

All the way walking back to your room, your heart was beating like crazy. You don’t know when you even left your room and how you found the courage to knock on his door.

As you reach your bed, you sink into it face down and growl into the sheet.

Hana: Now what’s wrong?

Y/N: I think I am going mad.

Hana: What you mean?

Y/N: I have no idea how I ended up in Hoshi’s room 5 minutes ago.

Hana: It’s ok, it’s normal in old age.

Y/N: Fuck off! (you say, throwing a pillow at her). Just make sure to sit next to me in the car tomorrow morning, please. I can’t be around him right now.

Next morning, the whole road back to Barcelona, you kept your headphones on, music blasting in your ears. You needed a good distraction, but even that ended up not being enough to take your mind of Soonyoung.

You felt almost stupid for this, for not being able to control yourself. Yeah, you told him no, you denied him, but you keep on going back to him, replying to his silly texts, being silly with him.

You could just block him, but you practically work for him. Maybe talk to him seriously and tell him to give you space. Maybe ask Jun to talk to him? Ugh, you feel a headache coming.

Why does love have to be this difficult? Why can’t you just shut feelings before they evolve into something more? Why can’t you choose who to fall in love with? You’d chose a tree and you’d live happy and in peace forever. No drama, no disappointment, no pain.

The next few weeks of tour were to say the least, hard. But it pushed you to be even better at your work. The whole staff you interacted with had only praises for you and your team.

You tried to avoid spending time outside work hours around Hoshi. He did text you a few times to check on you and you only replied with short answers, not asking him anything back. You hoped he will read the room and give you time.

You were in Milano right now, few days of preparations and events before the first concert. You get a call from Mingyu.

Mingyu: My dear friend, ex girlfriend, Y/N, I have some invitations for you and your friends for the afterparty for the Dior show tomorrow evening.

Y/N: Oh, now I find out I was your girlfriend? What an honour, mister sir.

Mingyu: Why of course, miss lady. So what do you say? Wanna get drunk tomorrow?

Y/N: Of course, why not.

Mingyu: But..

Y/N: What?

Mingyu: Jungkook will be there with Eunwoo.

Y/N: Oh, fucking hell!

Mingyu: Your team will be close to us, you’ll be right with the staff, don’t worry. And I am sure he won’t be dumb enough to try something so publicly.

Y/N: You’re probably right. You know what’s funny?

Mingyu: What?

Y/N: I’ll be in the same room with two of my exes. Weird, isn’t it?

Mingyu: Nah, you’ll be fine, trust me on this.

Y/N: You would know, you big slut.

Mingyu: Can’t deny that hehe. So I’ll leave you go to sleep, it’s late. Make sure you look extra sexy tomorrow.

Y/N: Yeah yeah, goodnight you silly skyscraper!

You called Hana to give her the news. You knew she was having dinner with some of the members and staff. But a man answered her phone.

Y/N: Who’s this? I need to talk to Hana.

Soonyoung: I have her phone, so you can’t talk to her.

Y/N: Are you drunk?

Soonyoung: Yeah, and?

Y/N: You’ll cry out about your face being puffy tomorrow at the Dior show.

Soonyoung: Shut up, you’re not my girlfriend or my mom!

Y/N: Don’t tell me to shut up and give the phone to Hana, drunk hamster!

Soonyoung: I’ll get you for this, mark my words. You’ll be sorry for calling me hamster.

Hana: Soonyoung, give me that! Wife?

Y/N: Ugh, finally! Why was your phone with him?

Hana: I have no idea, I guess it was just on the table and he thought it was a good idea. Did you call or he called you?

Y/N: I called, to let you know that we’re going to the Dior afterparty tomorrow evening, with the team.

Hana: Wow, can’t believe I will be surrounded with celebrities again. I think I love this job.

You hear Hoshi’s voice in the background.

Soonyoung: Hana, is she upset with me?

Hana: Yeah.

Soonyoung: Nooo, that’s so saaad!

Hana: Sorry, wife, but a crying Hoshi needs a hug. (and she hangs up the call)

You missed drunk needy Soonyoung. You wanted to be there to hug him and wipe his tears off his cheeks, then kiss his eyes and give him some cake.

Now, whenever you eat cake, you think about him and how he would also enjoy having a piece of it.

Many times when you met Jun and you knew Hoshi will be there too, you brough cake for him, made by you. He never believed you when you said you made it, he always thought you bought it from a store.

You just wanted to watch his face light up every time you’d take the cake out of the box. He looked adorable stuffing his mouth with it and trying to say how good it is.

Anyway, you needed your beauty sleep, because tomorrow you needed to look your best.

In the morning you woke up alone, no Hana in sight. Ugh, is my wife slutting around?

You check your phone and only see the group chats filled with unread messages. Everyone seems to have gotten drunk last night. You feel a little sad you were not there with them, but it is what it is.

There are also texts from Soonyoung and you immediately click on his chat to read them.

22:12

Soonyoung: Dout be upsjet p;ease

Soonyoung: heeejjjjjj

Soonyoung: heyy

00:56

Soonyoung: missyoiu

He misses you. You could ignore his drunk texts, but you know that  what he’s saying while drunk it’s what he really feels. Then again, doesn’t mean he’s in love.

He’s always such an i-pad kid, always joking around, rarely taking anything seriously. Except when he’s working. Of course, you can’t say you really really know him, so you can’t just jump to conclusions about him.

That’s why you’re so confused and you can’t be radical about staying away from him. And even if you know someone really well, there’s nothing to vouch they’re going to be predictable.

You’ve gotten ready for work and 30 minutes later you’re in your usual meeting room, sitting at the table, working on your laptop. Hana and another girl from your team joins, bringing breakfast.

Hana: Mornin wife!

Y/N: Mornin to you too, cheater! Where did you sleep?

Hana: Hehe! Well, you see..I kind of ended up kissing Hyunwoo from the dance team and…we went to his room after.

Y/N: Uhhh! You big slut! How could you do that, here, at your workplace where these people are treating us so kind, and respect us……without telling me how the sex was? So disrespectful!

She leans closer, over the table, gesturing you and your other colleague.

Hana: It was really good. And I don’t think it was because of how tipsy we were. Plus, he’s packing.

Y/N: Ok, no need to rub it in. It’s been months for me, it hurts, so please.

Hana: Do we need to go shopping for some dildos and vibrators?

Y/N: I have enough sex toys, silly.

Hana: Or maybe you could ask your ex to help you, if you’re not going to do anything about your crush.

Y/N: My god, Hana! Never! Oh, I forgot the gossip. Jungkook will attend the Dior show too, and I guess the party also.

Hana: You know what that means. You need to look irresistible. And by the way, I’ll be spending some time in Hyunwoo’s room after we finish work today, and my advice since you’ll have some alone time? Use those toys, girl. Unwind.

4 hours later you find yourself walking the hotel’s hallways. With your laptop in one hand and your room card in the other, you’re excited about Hana’s advice. You decided that an orgasm would help you relax, especially since tonight you will see JK.

Reaching inside your room, you take a quick shower and get comfy on the bed. You got your special box with your toys next to you. You pick the vibrator that can stimulate your g spot and your clit at the same time.

You’re feeling so hot and bothered, especially after all the last weeks spent around Soonyoung. Your mind goes straight to the week you were in Spain and how he looked with just swim pants. How he would swim in the pool and all his back muscles would contract.

How he would grip the edge of the pool with his pretty hands, strong grip. And how he would use his arms to lift himself from the water. Oh, the water. The water that was dripping over his abs down to his swim trunks, down his jaw and neck. The water dripping slowly from his strands of hair.

You’d think about how you wanted to lick that hard body of his. You kept working on your vibrator that was giving you so much pleasure right now. You so wished it was Soonyoung making you feel like this.

So wanted to feel him inside you, thrusting slowly, dragging his length deep into your walls, making you cum over and over. Feeling his lips on your breasts, sucking on them.

A knock on the door got you out of your trance. Fuck!!! You kept going, you were so close. Sweat forming on your forehead. Go away!(you whispered)

Then another knock and a call for your name.

Y/N: I’m coming, I’m coming!!! Shit!

And it was not the way you wanted to come. You had to stop. You cursed under your breath. You grabbed a silk robe you had on the bed and went to open the door.

Oh, you were pissed. You open the door to find a flustered Soonyoung standing there, almost guilty and ready to leave.

You were sure your face was pink and sweaty and you were panting.

Y/N: What? You seemed eager to talk, with all that knocking, and now you’re silent?

Soonyoung: Are you with someone? I swear I heard moaning.

Y/N: I’m all alone, Soonyoung.

Soonyoung: Oh! Oh…we’re you…

Y/N: Yeah, I was. I’m a single woman, free to masturbate if that’s what I feel like doing. You got a problem with that?

Soonyoung: Noo, I will just let you get back to what you were doing, sorry for disturbing you.

His face was flushed red and he didn’t just walk away, he ran away. You never seen him run so fast.

You felt like joking around and ask if he wanted to help, but it was not appropriate in your situation. So you kept quiet and went back to business.

Back to your toy and your fantasy about Soonyoung doing filthy things to you. It helps that you just saw him minutes ago. You could still feel his perfume lingering in the air and it drove you crazy.

You ended up cumming while moaning his name. In a way, you wish he heard you right now.

I think a nap is what I need right now before getting ready for the party.

You send a quick text to Hana and one to Jun and you go to sleep for 2 hours.

You wake up at 3 PM, getting into the shower. Meanwhile, Hana arrives to and you both help each other with your hair and outfits.

Y/N: Soonyoung caught me masturbating.

Hana: Whaaaaat??

Y/N: I was about to finish and he knocked on the door. He said he heard me and he figured out, so…

Hana: Geez, that’s..pretty hot, I have to say.

Y/N: How is that hot?

Hana: You like each other and now he’ll think about this all week. Shit, he’ll be looking at you tonight at the party and only see one thing, you touching yourself. That’s hilarious.

Y/N: It kind of is, not gonna lie.

7 PM and you were in one of the company’s car with Hana, 2 of your colleagues and one of the managers.

You were checking the reels from today’s Dior fashion show to see how handsome the boys were. The fans are so quick to edit the craziest and thirstiest reels.

You were wearing a black dress that hugged your body perfectly and dropped sensually over your breasts. You thought that you should wear your hair up in a simple ponytail, to reveal more of your shoulders and back.

Feeling very confident, you walked toward the building, presenting your names at the entrance. The inside of the building was spectacular. Old and new architecture combined, scenes displayed on the walls with thousands of lights, slow electronic music and expensive clothes.

Everything smelled and looked expensive. You start with a glass of champagne, giggling with Hana and noticing familiar faces. This time there were no outside paparazzi or fans around, so you could tell everyone was relaxed.

Hana: There’s Eunwoo. Let’s say hi.

Y/N: Hana, let’s let him come to us, he would know better what to do. Maybe it’s better for him not be seen in company of women.

Hana: You’re right. I just feel weird about it because we’ve been friends for years and he’s like my brother.

Y/N: Jungkook might also be around him, so let’s just not gather to much attention on us.

Hana: Looking like this, you think you won’t catch attention? Giiirl!

Minutes later, you’re enjoying some appetizers and you’re at the second glass, this time a cocktail. As you’re sipping your drink and look forward into the crowd, you notice someone’s eyes on you, the person not flinching, not blinking.

You choked on your drink a little and Hana asked what happened. You told her you just saw Jungkook killing you with his eyes.

She immediately turned and there he was, talking with Eunwoo and some other people.

Hana: Shit, the bastard looks even hotter after his military. Fuck that guy!

Y/N: Ewww, no thanks.

You try not to look in his direction after that, your eyes looking for Soonyoung. You missed him. And you also wanted to see his face when he sees you like this.

Hana: Let’s go mingle and look around. Let’s look at pretty men.

Y/N: Ooookkk.

Hana: Come on, let’s pretend we’re two rich bitches.

The building was huge and the event was taking place outside to. There, they had a different dj with a different music. Here, there was something more like jazz and they had tables with chairs where guests were sitting and enjoying a nice conversation and a cigar.

You saw many celebrities, models, actors, musicians, athletes. It was a little too much for you, but fun nonetheless.

You could get a glimpse of some of the members, but they didn’t see you. They were pretty busy talking to people you didn’t know and taking photos. So you continued your little adventure and walked back inside.

As you turned to walk away, Mingyu saw you and he told Jun. They decided to go look for you.

Reaching a big room, you could tell here it was where the dance was happening. And you wanted to move a bit, so you took Hana’s hand and took her in the crowd of dancing people.

Y/N: It’s been a while since I’ve had so much fun.

Hana: Me fucking too.

Soonyoung was taking pictures with Taemin right in the dancing room where you were, but you could not see him from the people gathered around them.

At some point, a little tunnel formed between Soonyoung and where you were dancing. He could see with his peripheral vision someone in a black dress dancing and it didn’t mean anything, but then when he moved his eyes he saw your face.

Coloured lights were playing on your body, hips making circling moves in the rhythm of the music. Damn, she’s not wearing a bra. Again. It all turned in slow motion again. This always happens to him when he’s mesmerised, and it doesn’t happen often.

He’s never seen you dance before. You’re out of this world, you’re glorious, breathtaking. He needs you.

He was stunned. I’ll marry her.

Taemin: What?

Taemin: Hosh! Planet Earth to Hoshi!

Taemin needed to pinch Soonyoung’s arm to get his attention.

Soonyoung: Ouch! You know I’m sensitive, hyung.

Taemin: Well I needed to make sure you were alive and well. You looked like you saw a ghost.

Soonyoung: No, I just saw my future wife.

Taemin: I thought you liked someone. Didn’t think you were a player.

Soonyoung: Nooo, it’s her. She’s here.

Taemin: My god, I want to meet this woman that has my friend around her pinky.

Soonyoung: Might introduce you later

After dancing you felt thirsty so you went to get drinks.

You were back to the room where you started. As you waited at the bar, you hear someone calling for Hana’s name. You look around and see Eunwoo and Yugyeom.

Hana: Guyyyss!

They hugged both of you. It was the first time you saw them acting normal in public, not having flashes in their faces. Then there he was, Jungkook came behind them and greeted with a shy “hi”.

You and Hana just nodded. You think she hates him more than you. He has a stupid grin on his face and you can feel his eyes scanning your body. Something he will never get to touch again.

Eunwoo: What are you two doing here?

Hana: Well, we are working for Hybe this year, helping with Seventeen’s world tour. And sometimes we’re getting a little spoiled.

Eunwoo: Does that mean Mingyu is here?

Hana: Yeah, somewhere.

Yugyeom: How come we didn’t know?

You shrug and lift your shoulders. Are they not that close anymore?

Jungkook: So the whole gang is here except Jaehyun who’s on tour also.

Eunwoo: We should get some dinner and drink after this, like old times.

Y/N: I don’t know, Woo, not sure it will be like it used to.

Eunwoo: Jungkook, this is your fault. Y/N, you can ignore him. Plus, if he upsets you he’s going to have to deal with me.

You feel an arm coming gently around your waist and pulling you into him.

Mingyu: Who’s going to upset my bestie?

You look up at him with big eyes, wondering why he’s acting like this.

Eunwoo: Gyu! Come on, give me a hug. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. You’re a big shot now.

He takes his arm away and hugs his friends, including Jungkook.

Then comes Jun from behind and puts his arms on both your and Hana’s shoulders, standing between you two.

Jun: Hey guys, what a surprise seeing you here. And you found our girls.

Jungkook scoffs and rolls his eyes.

Eunwoo: I was just telling our girls that we should go out to eat and drink after this, like old times. Are you in, Gyu? And Jun, you’re invited too.

Mingyu: I would go, but we already have a thing planned with the members and some of the managers and staff. But you’re invited to come with us.

He looks at you for a bit, almost like asking with his eyes if it’s ok and you nod.

The three guys accept the invite and you already try to think of excuses of how to skip this late dinner.

Mingyu: Let’s take some photos for the gram, shall we?

Then he leans into your ear to tell you something.

Mingyu: Look over my right shoulder. You see Soonyoung there in the crowd?

You look as he says and you see him.

Mingyu: Take Hana and go to him. I know you want to escape JK right now.

Y/N: Thanks, Gyu.

You take Hana’s hand and excuse yourself, walking straight to Soonyoung. You felt like you could not breath unless you head him or touch him.

He immediately saw you coming toward him and he felt his heart race. His friends were talking to him but he couldn’t hear or see them anymore. There was just you. He could only see you.

Hana: Yaaa, Hoshi! Where were you?

She went for a hug. She was clearly tipsy. His eyes were on you all this time and she was trying to talk to him.

Hana: Oh, yeah. Right.

He could see you were not feeling your best, you had puppy eyes and pouty lips.

He takes your hand to rub gentle circles on the back of your palm.

Soonyoung: What’s wrong?

Y/N: Nothing, just saw someone I’d prefer not to.

Soonyoung: Oh. What can I do?

You pouted some more and looked down at your connected hands.

Y/N: Um. Hold my hand for a bit and I’ll be better?

Hearing this, his eyes turned into half moons and he smiled widely.

Soonyoung: Come on, I’ll introduce you to some superstars.

Y/N: Oh my

Soonyoung: Guys, this is my very good friend Y/N and this is Hana

Taemin: We finally meet you, Y/N friend of Hoshi. I’m Taemin

Key: Hello, I’m Key

Y/N: Nice to meet you, I feel honoured

Hana: Hello! So I don’t get the title friend, eh, Hosh?

Soonyoung: You are my friend also.

Leaning into you, he asks if you’re better and you nod, smiling at him. His hand still holding yours tight.

The room cleared a little, since some of the guests went outside to watch the fireworks. Behind you, the ’97 group and Jun were still talking. Jungkook had a clear view at you now and what he saw shocked him.

Why the fuck is she holding hands with Hoshi? He became enraged and drank his whisky glass as a shot. He needed another. Now he really needed to know what the hell was going on. He knew you and Mingyu were not together anymore. But he was not expecting you having another relationship.

He was enraged because he tried so hard to break you and Mingyu, and after the success, now he needs to do more work. He can’t stand and watch you with another man that’s not him. Not again.

Soonyoung: Want to watch the fireworks?

Y/N: I love fireworks

He doesn’t let go to your hand, leading you outside and calling his friends and Hana to join.

Y/N: Is this ok? Someone might see and take pictures.

Soonyoung: It’s fine, trust me.

Even though earlier you were feeling sick to your stomach because of Jungkook’s presence, this moment was making you feel happy and complete. You had Soonyoung next to you, his hand burning hot in yours.

He looks at you and he sees tears in your eyes.

Soonyoung: What’s wrong?

Y/N: I’m just being emotional. I guess a lot happened lately.

Soonyoung: I get that. I’m here (and he squeezes your hand tighter). It will feel better after dinner. Just a little longer, ok? You’re riding with me in my car to the restaurant.

One hour later you’re in the car with Soonyoung, Jeonghan and Seungkwan.

Seungkwan: Why are you holding hands? What’s wrong with you two?

Soonyoung: My friends needs emotional support so I’m giving it to her.

Seungkwan: Ugh, you two make me sick.

Jeonghan: Why is Mingyu saying in the group chat that the ’97 gang will join for dinner?

Soonyoung turns his face to you in shock.

Y/N: Oh, yeah. It was a weird situation and Mingyu had to invite them.

Jeonghan: But won’t Jungkook will be there?

Y/N: Yeah…(you move your eyes into your lap where you are fiddling with the rings on your fingers)

Soonyoung: Don’t worry, you’ll sit next to me and far from him and we won’t leave you alone. Right, guys?

Both Jeonghan and Seungkwan nod and it’s like a promise.

Jeonghan: I can’t promise I will be able to hold on too much, I am already fucking tired. I could sleep right here right now. But I’ll do my best.

Y/N: Thanks, guys. You’re the best!

The restaurant was empty, no other customers. It was very late too. But it filled with all of you once you all sat at the tables. Everyone ordered drinks and food and the drinking started.

You say between Hoshi and Seungkwan that were taking their mission very seriously. They took care of you all night, asking you what you needed, fixing your food, feeding you. That was a bit much, but funny still.

Seungcheol: What’s going on there? You two look like a couple, feeding their baby.

Seungkwan: We’re just spoiling our girl. She’s been working so hard.

Hana: Hey, what about me? I’ve been working hard too. Who’s feeding me?

And 4 guys offered her food to shove into her mouth. Joshua took a green salad leaf and really managed to put it into her mouth aggressively. Mingyu took a piece of steak and shoved it there too. Dokyeom wanted to go crazy and pushed a spoon with soup close to her, but it ended up on her plate. Then there was Jeonghan that took a piece of cake.

Of course he pushed it in her mouth along with the salad and steak.

Hana was stunned, trying to talk and complain, and at the same time she burst out laughing. So all the food went out her mouth. Luckily, she put a tissue in front of it before she made a mess.

Everyone laughed and you took advantage of the moment to go to the restroom.

Y/N: I’ll be right back.

Soonyoung: I’ll go with you.

Y/N: Soonie, noo. You wanna hold my hand while I pee?

Soonyoung: If you wanted me to, yeah.

You slap his chest gently and get up.

Soonyoung: Ouch, not my tiddies! (he brings his hand to his slapped tiddy to massage the pain away)

Nobody noticed that after 3 minutes, Jungkook got up from his chair and walked to the restroom too.

He was waiting for you to come out, outside the bathroom doors.

Y/N: No, just no. don’t wanna talk to you.

Jungkook: Please! I’ll behave, I promise. I’m not a monster.

Y/N: Could have fooled me after all the shit you did.

Jungkook: I’m so sorry about everything. I wish to explain myself. I know I have no excuse and I don’t deserve forgiveness. I just want to explain why I did what I did.

Y/N: Go ahead, explain.

Jungkook: I was very stupid. Young and dumb you could say. I didn’t tell you about the army because the company found out about our relationship and they were very strict about it and told me to end it. And the reason they wanted me to end it was because some stalker of mine had photos and videos with us, even from my apartment and your apartment. And she threatened that she will expose me. You have to understand that my career would have been over.

Y/N: You could of told me.

Jungkook: No, because I needed a reason for the breakup. And the company came up with the idea that I could go to the military, just like that, without a word. And it worked, didn’t it?

Y/N: And after you were a complete asshole.

Jungkook: I was mad angry when I found out about you and Mingyu. I still loved you.

Y/N: You could still text me after you went to the military and explain.

Jungkook: I just didn’t feel it was the right thing to do. I needed to get away from you completely. I also tried to forget you but I couldn’t.

Y/N: And then you started to get your tail between me and Gyu.

Jungkook: I’m sorry about that too.

Y/N: Were you the one who attacked me in front of my building that night?

Jungkook: I would never do that. Could never hurt you physically.

Y/N: And you think emotional pain is ok? You think it was easy for me when you left me? You pushed me and Gyu together. He was there for me when you weren’t. you chose to leave and he stayed. He’s still there for me after everything.

Jungkook: I need to confess something. I need to get this off my chest.

Y/N: What?

Jungkook: Mingyu never cheated on you. I planed that night. I spiked his drink, and the girl n the photos was a friend. I’m really sorry.

Y/N: What? What? Are you telling me that all those miserable weeks and months, all those nights when I could not sleep, those days that I could not eat and was close to collapsing at work because of it… all of that for nothing? Just because you were jealous?

Jungkook: I have no excuse.

Y/N: No, you fucking don’t. You took away my happiness twice. And you took away Mingyu’s happiness too. We were so good together. I even thought he was the one. I fucking hate you, Jungkook!

Tears run down your cheeks, reminiscing all that pain you felt when you thought Mingyu broke your trust. And all this time since then, that you spent punishing yourself because you thought all men are the same and all will cheat. You punished yourself to be alone.

Y/N: I can’t believe how sinister you can be.

Jungkook: I’m sorry, I am really trying to be better.

You look at him and you can see he’s tearing up too. His eyes look honest and you never seen him in this state, almost broken.

Jungkook: You have to believe me. I am really trying. It’s hard. I’m even seeing a therapist to help me. Please, believe me. I am trying to keep the bad thoughts away. Even tonight when I saw you holding Hoshi’s hand I went mad. I don’t know, I thought I was over you. I guess I’m just a sick person.

He gets on his knees, his face filled with tears that roll down his chin, dropping onto his shirt.

Jungkook: Please, forgive me! Please Y/N!!

You take his hands into yours. He’s trembling like crazy and you need to calm him down. You can’t stand him, but you can’t leave him like this.

So you pull him up and into your arms, hugging him tight.

Y/N: It’s ok, it’s going to be ok.

Jungkook: It’s not ok, I did horrible things.

Y/N: Let’s relax for now, ok? We will talk another time when we’re both feeling better. But now we are here and the food will be ready. Also, we don’t want anyone knowing we bawled out eyes out, do we?

Jungkook: No, we don’t

Y/N: Come on, let’s go into the restroom and make ourselves looks presentable.

Jungkook: I feel like you should kick me in the balls or something, because you’re too nice to me.

Y/N: Do you want me to kick you in the balls?

Jungkook: N..no?

Y/N: Then don’t put nice thoughts like that in my head.

Hoshi noticed you were gone for quite some time and Jungkook was not in his seat. He got up, going to look for you. Going into the restroom, he found you and Jungkook fixing your makeup in the mirror.

Soonyoung: What the hell is going on here?

Y/N: Soonieeee! Come here and help me!

He looks at you and he can see you’re eyes are red and a little swollen.

Soonyoung: Y/N, did you cry?

Y/N: This one cried harder.

Jungkook: I’m going back to the table. Thanks, Y/N.(he stops in his track and gives a nod, then leaves)

Soonyoung: What the fuck! What was that about?

Y/N: We talked

Soonyoung: About?

Y/N: About how he was a butthole.

Soonyoung: Are you ok though?

Y/N: I am now.

Then you pinch his cheeks and place a soft single kiss on his lips.

Y/N: Let’s go, tiger. I’m starving and I need a drink.

Soonyoung: You’re not actually going to pretend you didn’t just kiss me?

But you did just that. You got back into the room bickering like always.

Seungkwan: That’s more like it. I was starting to miss this bickering. Y/N, when are you going to kick him in the balls next? That was really fun to watch

Y/N: Kwaaan! Why would I kick Soonie like that?

Seungkwan: Soonie? I think I’m going to puke.(he makes a dramatic scene where he pretends like he’s puking and fainting)

Food came and Hoshi continued to feed you. It made him feel good.

Y/N: I can do it myself, you know.

Soonyoung: Shut up and eat, I’m an expert with food and eating.

As he feeds you, your hand goes to sit on his thigh. You didn’t even notice, but he did. Oh, did he. You were even squeezing it whenever he was giving you too much food that you could not fit into your mouth.

Y/N: Soonie, slow down. Can’t eat this fast.

Soonyoung: Sorry, but your hand it kind of distracts me from thinking straight.

You look down at your hands. One is on your thigh and the other on his. You pull it away immediately, apologising.

He feels like he can finally let out a breath that he was holding for decades. He thanks himself for wearing oversized clothes tonight. You just have this effect on him and he’s just a weak man.

You’re both blushing. You’re acting like you haven’t been teasing and bullying each other since you met. But that was your thing. When it was banter, you two were at each other’s throat, daring and shit. But when it was serious, you were both a shy mess.

Jeonghan and Minghao were the first ones to leave. Hana asked them to take her with them. He told you she needed to go meet Hyunwoo the dancer.

02:19

Hana: Wife, I’m going to leave with Jeonghan. Hynwoo is waiting for me. Can you sleep in Jun’s room tonight? Hyunwoo’s roommate is sleeping already in their shared room.

02:20

Y/N: Ok, have fun and use protection my silly slut.

You scoff and sight and Soonyoung asks what happened.

Y/N: I need to ask Jun to sleep in his room tonight. Hana is having some action in our room.

Soonyoung: Sleep in my room!

Y/N: Oh! Really?

Soonyoung: Yeah. My bed is huge and I’m a good boy.

You look at him and you can tell he’s pretty drunk. There are two scenarios that go trough your head. One-he’s going to fall asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and he won’t bother you. Two-he’s going to be clingy and needy and he’s going to cuddle the shit out of you.

You don’t plan on doing anything else, though your whole body wants to. But no. Even if you’d decide that you want to accept him romantically, this would not be the right way to start.

You’d want to try a different path and make sure this one would last. He is indeed very different from all the guys you met in your life. Maybe that’s one of the reasons you’re so drawn to him.

So you accept his offer. You have nothing to lose. Maybe just your sanity for being this close to the guy you’re in love with. Maybe you’re sleep, knowing he’s right there, arm reach, and you’re all sweaty and wet and needy.

But no. You will behave and you know he will too.

Y/N: Ok, then I’ll sleep in your room.

And his face lights up at that and he pats your head, calling you a good girl.

I mean, he could keep these remarks to himself. It’s enough that I’m having such a hard time already. My sex life it’s inexistent and he’s so…

Soonyoung: Why are you looking at me funny?

Y/N: Oh, am I? Sorry, no reason. You’re just cute when you’re drunk.

You continue eating and hiding the alcohol from Hoshi. He already had 2 glasses of whatever, you don’t even know what was in there. You catch his glass that he just filled earlier and you take it to your mouth to taste it.

You decide he won’t drink that, Afterall, you are the one who’s going to be dealing with him later. You don’t want to break you back from dragging him all the way to the bed.

He pouts a little whenever you take his glass, and doesn’t even realises when you switch it with water. You’re not much sober than he is, but you’re more responsible.

Now it’s your turn to feed him and you don’t mind. Seungkwan shoots you dramatic looks. He likes to act like cute things make him sick but everyone knows better.

You hear Mingyu, Eunwoo and Jungkook argue about who’s the most popular idol among them. You’re glad to see they are still close. Noticing Jun on the other side of the table you want to go sit next to him and spend some quality time with your bestie.

When you get up, you tell Seungkwan and Joshua to keep their eyes on Hoshi and not let him drink alcohol anymore. A grip on your wrist keeps you from walking away.

Soonyoung: Where are you going? Why are you leaving me alone?

Y/N: You’re not alone though, and I’m going to sit next to Jun for a while.

He sights and puts some food into his mouth, nodding. As you sit next to your bestie, you have Soonyoung right in front of you and you can’t not notice how often he looks at you.

He’s being quite flirty, you think? Sending flying kisses, then he catches them himself. But there is someone else watching you. Jungkook. You caught him a few times while you were having a conversation with Jun.

He looks lost, you might say. It’s impossible he still has feelings for you, right? It’s been such a long time and he’s sure met plenty of interesting girls.

You even heard a rumour about him having a girlfriend not long back. And also, you didn’t think of yourself like such a great catch. Why would someone like him would not be able to get over a nobody like you?

It’s not that you are not confident, but you like to keep it real. There are others far more beautiful, talented, richer and more suitable for him. Maybe you’ll have a nice grown up conversation with him sometime and unravel this mystery.

You’ll need to talk to Mingyu also and apologise for what happened and all the hurtful words you said to him in the past.

But until then, you needed to get Soonyoung out of there and into bed, because the poor guy ‘s  face was red and puffy and he could barely keep his eyes open.

So you ask Jun if he will go to the hotel with you in the same car. Hearing that you want to leave, Minghao says he wants to join you too. Good, more help with carrying Hoshi.

You announce that you’re going to leave. Jun helps Hoshi to steady himself. He can walk straight, but he could bump into something because of his blurred vision right now.

Mingyu comes outside with you, asking if everything’s ok and you tell him you’re fine and that you need to talk to him soon when he gets some free time. He nods, gives you a warm hug and goes back inside.

Mingyu: Someone needs to drink Dino under the table.

In the car, Hoshi puts his head in Minghao’s lap, falling asleep. 20 minutes later you find yourself knocking at your room, waiting for Hana to bring your sleepover backpack. That’s your drill whenever one of you needs the room for herself.

Then off you go to Hoshi’s room. You find him collapsed onto the bed, clothes on, shoes on.

You start to take his shoes off and he starts to kick his feet ap and down.

Soonyoung: Hihihih it tickles.

Y/N: I know, but we need to get you into bed, ok?

Soonyoung: Ok, mom

Y/N: I’ll also take your shirt and pants off and put your pj’s on.

He just keeps on giggling and kicking his feet. He’s so cute. You’re glad his’s this type of drunk.

You look for his sleeping clothes and you find a tshirt and some shorts. These will do.

Then the hard part begins. You get him to sit on the edge of the bed and pull on his shirt over his head. Then you pull the tshirt on.

When it’s time for the pants he gets shy.

Soonyoung: I’ll do it, you can’t see me naked.

Y/N: But you have underwear on. Right?

Soonyoung: So what. You’re not taking my pants off

Y/N: I thought you wanted me to do that

Soonyoung: Y/N, this is not the time to be thirsty

Y/N: If I was acting thirsty I would be in your lap right now. Do you see me there?

He looks at his lap, brings his hands in front and looks at them. Then all of the sudden you’re in his lap.

Y/N: What are you doing?

Soonyoung: Now you’re thirsty.

Y/N: Am not!

You try to get up but he keeps you there with a strong grip around your waist, holding you tight.

Soonyoung: Don’t go!

Y/N: I’m not going, I’m just trying to change you into sleep clothes then we can go to bed

Soonyoung: Can you cuddle me?

Y/N: I don’t know if we should, Soonie

Soonyoung: I should have known to ask Jun to sleep here tonight. He would cuddle me

He buries his face into your chest. More exactly between your breasts and you wonder if he’s realizing what he’s doing.

Y/N: Hoshingi, my tits are in your face. Stop being so thirsty

Soonyoung: So warm, could sleep like this.

Then you push him on his back and get off him. You grab his belt to take his pants off.

Soonyoung: Whoah, take it slow, I’m sensitive.

When his pants are on the floor you pull his short on, and he huffs disappointed.

Soonyoung: I thought you wanted to take advantage of me.

Y/N: Shut up and sleep. Tomorrow you’re having rehearsals for 10 straight hours.

You go into the bathroom to get ready for bed and when you return, he’s already sleeping. You exhale loudly and find a spot on the other side of the bed.

Not even 5 minutes passed that you feel movement and an arm coming over your waist, pulling you into his warm body. His leg going right over yours. You’re caged in.

This feels nice, but how are you going to be able to sleep now? You feel his breath on the back of your neck. Makes you feel butterflies. You smile and you feel like crying.

You remember all those times you felt alone at night, wanting someone to just hold you. It feels nice even to just hear his gentle snores. Sometimes his fingers would twitch in his sleep and you so wanted to hold his hand right now.

So you put your hand over his and the twitching stopped. It was like you calmed him down. At some point, you don’t really know when, you also fall asleep.

[daintev]

MORE MTCPT ART LETS GOOOOO!!!

"I'll try posting art once a week," he says after not posting for nearly 2 weeks.

Anyway, MTCPT art dump!!! :D

I was thinking back to the first chapter in Sanders apartment when despite already eating, chooses to go out with Jock. So, it got me thinking: Sanders enjoys Jock's company a lot (I mean I'd hope so considering he loves the guy) and when he's home alone he'd feel, lonely? like he'd just kinda feel isolated in a way, if you get what I mean? So, I imagine a bit later after they started dating Jock would come around or sleep at his every now and again so, in the mornings when they're sitting at the counter Sanders would just,,, stare. He'd just feel really nice and enjoy his company. Idk I just like thinking about sappy scenarios between characters. I probably didn't need to ramble this much but yk how I am. I love over-explaining my art.

The 9 or so years gap between the original comic and the current version Jock learned to do his tie at some point right? So, I thought Sanders would just get sick of Jock struggling all the time so he just eventually taught him how.

WHICH LOSER DESPERATELY NEEDS A HUG DUE TO DEEP-SEATED TRUST ISSUES? THE MIDDLE-AGED QUEER MAN, THAT'S RIGHT!

Finally just some random sketches of the silly tax men :D

As always I appreciate the support and love shown for my art and I can't thank you all enough <3

[candaru]

just gonna ramble about some Ultrakill/Portal crossover thoughts don't mind me

(considering The End of All Known Land canon for these thoughts, i.e. a world where Gabriel and V1 are the only ones to get out of Hell)

Chell hates robots with all her soul and would try to fucking annihilate V1 if she thought they posed even a sliver of a threat but V1 would be so fucking excited at the prospect of another human. like obviously if they were still in a situation where they needed blood, they'd kill her without a second thought, but now? they're just FASCINATED by the question of "how did a human SURVIVE" and they want to know everything

V1 inner monologue: oh boy a new sparring partner!!! wow they have a cool new kind of gun I've never seen before!! that would've been soooo helpful back in hell. I wonder if that's how they escaped? and they're quiet just like me! I wonder if their organic voicebox is broken? or do they just not have one? can humans not have one?

GLaDOS would fucking despise Gabriel because he's sooooo full of himself. She doesn't even need to hear him say anything robot-racist, She's already decided She hates him and wants him dead. an "angel?" yeah, right. sounds just like another human ripe for the picking. let's see how high-and-mighty you are when you're in my TESTING DOMAIN! DO MY PUZZLES, BOY!!!

Gabriel is like wow this robot is stuck up and has some serious issues but also I am uncomfortable with how much of myself I see reflected in her. hmmmm. yeah I'll try your puzzle, tell me more about your deep-seated hatred of organics and particularly this one that keeps ruining the facility you run and is the only one to ever beat you in a fight. mhm. yeah so quick question have you ever thought about trying to fuck—

(EXPLOSION AND GUNFIRE)

meanwhile if Chell ever met Gabriel on the surface it'd make for such a good tense encounter. bc she is hiding behind a tree in full fight-or-flight mode wondering "how did another human SURVIVE" and also second question "how did they get such sickass wings and where can I get a pair?"

and then Gabriel noticing her would ALSO send him into fight-or-flight mode but only for a moment because of the pure shock of, again, "HOW DID A HUMAN SURVIVE" before curiosity completely overtakes him and he tries to talk to her. trying to get her to talk and not attack or run is like trying to coax a wild injured animal out of a hiding spot. but he eventually manages to earn the barest, most minimal amount of trust by setting down all his weapons and leaving offerings of food in front of her.

...this gets harder when she sees Gabriel and V1 together and registers that they're allies. she's unsure if they're plotting against her or if V1 is manipulating Gabriel. eventually she leans towards the latter and thinks her fears are confirmed when she witnesses them drawing Gabriel's blood while he's sleeping.

she tries to communicate this to him by drawing crude pictures on the ground and is VERY FRUSTRATED when he's like "omg can you not talk? that's ok!! V1 also can't talk but we make it work, they're really incredibly kind and patient and—"

Chell, internally: I AM GOING TO KILL THAT FUCKING ROBOT AND SAVE YOU

I think it would be funny for V1 to try and go urban exploring in Aperture. GLaDOS is initially all excited because a new testing robot literally fell right into Her clutches but then V1 proceeds to be the most stubborn, impudent, tenacious piece of shit and they remind her WAY TOO MUCH OF CHELL so now She's trying to kill them but they have ACTUAL FUCKING GUNS and Aperture is being destroyed in the wake of their battle

meanwhile V1 has decided they don't like this robot but also She makes fun tests. so they do puzzles until they get bored and then they blast holes through the wall and try to kill Her

something something Ultrakill is just Portal for NBs (everyone knows Portal is for women) and I'm so fascinated by the similar dynamics of the toxic yuri/toxic yaoi robot-and-human pairs. and I think they would mostly hate each other and I love that for them.

(also something something GLaDOS is too far gone, too corrupted in Her immortality, and too deep in denial for any possible healthy ending with Chell—it's just not possible. so seeing Gabriel and V1 in a healthy and loving relationship would make Her SO FUCKING MAD for reasons She can't articulate)

[cottagecheese1]

Not what I meant

Paring: Jake Jensen x reader

A/n: I literally love Jake Jensen so much I couldn't help myself.

Summary: Jake and you get ready to go out on a date, but he makes an unexpected comment that has you feeling subconscious. Warnings: Angst, good ending, Jake says something mean, fluffy ending, mention about looks, body image issues, insecurity.

You stood in front of the full body mirror looking back your reflection, nitpicking everything about your appearance. The dress you wore seemed unflattering, and you're not quite flat stomach made everything feel way to tight. Even though when Jake bought the dress for you, he promised you looked beautiful in anything you wore–maybe you could take a chance and believe him.

After another 30 minutes in the bathroom, you were finally able to build up enough confidence to go out and face Jake. Even though you both have been together for an upcoming 3 years–he still made you nervous on date nights.

You made your last final touches as you heard him call you from outside the door, you took a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom, your heart beating out of your chest–worried about the criticism you probably won’t get from him.

“Are you almost done baby it's almost six thirty-”

Jake got cut off mid-sentence as you walked out of the bathroom, looking as gorgeous as ever of course, he was at lost for words at how beautiful you were, he can tell you weren’t feeling very confident, and planned to change that quickly, but of course everything goes wrong when he opens his mouth, so instead of repeatedly telling you how mesmerizing you looked and how the dress he bought hugged your curves perfectly–something else came out.

“Wow babe-I-the dress seems kinda tight don’t you think? Not to mention you look kind of artificial-well not artificial, but you know-um-unreal? No, no not what I meant-you look-”

Before he could get the last of it out, he was mentally cursing at himself for being so stupid, when he looked up to see your face it told him all that he needed to know, your teary eyes, arms wrapping around your midsection, and the way you looked at your feet in disappointment made him feel like a total asshole.

You quickly darted back into the bathroom and closed the door, not only did your boyfriend just call you fat, he also called you ugly which hurt more than anything, but right now you could barely stand to look at yourself in the mirror, not after what the love of your life just said to you–sitting down on the toilet seat, your dress now long gone on the floor. All you could do was cry, you felt embarrassed and kinda stupid that you actually thought he wouldn’t notice how you tried to suck in your stomach or try to pull your dress out, so it didn’t cling to you as tightly.

After about an hour you stopped crying, and just sat on the bathroom floor in silence, the date was already long gone so you contemplated just sleeping on the floor to save yourself the embarrassment. You heard the doorknob slowly turn and the door creak open, not even looking up because you already knew who it was–of course you forgot to lock the door.

Jake opened the door, and looked down to see your red puffy eyes, black lines of mascara streaking down your face, not only did he feel terrible, but he also made you feel even worse than you already did, it absolutely broke his heart to see you in such a state because of him.

“Oh baby-I-you don’t know how sorry I am, everything I said in there was not what I meant at all, you know my mouth acts before I think”, Jake tried to joke lightly at the end, but seeing his antics didn’t seem to amuse you at all, he just decided to just act now and say later.

Jake bent down to cup your face in his hands–thumbs gently stroking your tear-streaked cheeks–he lovingly brought your gaze to his as he pecked your lips softly, as much as you didn’t want to, you melted into his touch immediately, then you finally said something.

“You were right though, my dress did make me look fat, and I know I’m not the most appealing to look at-”

He quickly cut you off by shushing you, and pulled you into his lap, stroking your bare back before he responded, “Baby listen to me, I think you are the most gorgeous women in the entire world, when I saw you tonight-I was lost for words, I know they came out wrong–but I love you more than life itself, please forgive me.”

You look down at your lap, then back up at him smiling–of course you knew Jake always had trouble with words, but that cheesy loving speech he just makes up for the last 2 and a half hours.

Giggling you cup both his cheeks and lean in to give him a gentle kiss that he gladly accepted, moving his hands up and down your thighs before he pulled away.

“Well-if it's worth anything, you still looking fucking hot” Jake said with a lighthearted laugh before you responded.

“Maybe if you cuddle me tonight while we watch the Rocky franchise it will mean something”, you said with the same tone.

Jake leaned in to steal another kiss from you before he responded, “Hmm, I think I can do that for my baby–popcorn too?”, you returned the kiss before giving him a “yes please.”

As Jake returned from the kitchen with a large bowl of popcorn, he set the bowl down on your side table before quickly taking off his T-shirt and pants, he pretty much jumped into bed while trying to snuggle into you, but after you both got situated under the blanket, he pulled you into his chest and gave a peck on the forehead.

You laid your head on his chest before saying, “I love you.”

“I love you too”.

[babyflorencee]

Cigarettes

Timothée Chalamet x fem!Reader

An unwanted, yet all so familiar scent filled the room as I tossed and turned in bed, waking up, but not being able to go back to sleep. I turned to my side, not really expecting, but rather hoping that I would see my husband, Timothée, but he wasn't there. I looked around the room until I saw a bare back sitting in the corner, hunched over a desk. Yesterday he talked about some paperwork he needed to do, so I'm assuming he's finishing that up.

He had a cigarette; or, as I liked to call it, a cancer in between his lips. As he inhales, moving it away for a moment, exhaling, as the smoke leaves his mouth in numerous, perfectly formed rings.

The room quickly starts to feel stuffy, as if the walls were caving in on me. I walked over to the window that was to the side of our bedroom, feeling as if I could suffocate at any given moment. I quickly opened the window, taking a long, deep breath as I bathed in the fresh air. Thinking to myself about how I will never take nature for granted anymore. I let the cold air slowly consume the room, sighing with relief as the cigarette smell already started to fade.

The winter breeze hits my exposed legs, as I just now realized I was only in my underwear and one of Timothée's old white button ups. "Morning," he mumbles, not glancing up from his paper, taking another breath of his fake air.

I start heading towards our bathroom, a cough escaping my mouth as I splash cold water in my face, hoping to help relive the throbbing pain in my upper head. But to my dismay, it only made it worse. My head starting to pound from the smoke. The throbbing sensation, now taking a hold of my entire face, as I let out a whimper, wondering to myself why he puts me through this kind of pain every morning.

I exited the bathroom, dizzily walking over to Tim's desk, "Could you either take that elsewhere or put it out already? It's fucking hard to breathe in here!" I said rather harshly. I never meant to sound rude, but using a tone was the only efficient way to make him listen. 

He takes a glance over at me for a second, shock written all over his face. But none the less he listened. He held up one hand in defence while the other put the cigarette out. "Sorry, love," he said with a sigh, running his hands through his brown-colored hair.

I rolled my eyes at him before walking over to the window once again. I heard him getting up from his seat, feeling his toned arms wrapping around my waist not even a second later, bringing instant warmth to my body. He bent down slightly so he could nuzzle his head into my neck, causing me to cringe at the coldness of his nose. He began planting small kisses from my shoulder, all the way to the top of my neck, causing me to shrug him off. "Are you ever gonna quit?" I asked slightly hesitantly, needing to confront him about his issue but at the same time not wanting him to be mad at me.

I could see his shocked face from the reflection of the window. "Stop what?" he asked, now putting on a confused face.

I let out a tired sigh, turning around to face him, "Oh, come on, Timothée Hal, don't be an idiot right now." I snapped at him, crossing my arms.

"Love, I have no idea what you're talking about," he calmly said, only making me more upset with him.

"Like you don't know. You always smell like cigarettes, and I'm tired of having to ruin my own lungs for your unhealthy habits." I said, not looking him in the eyes.

"Come on, it's not that bad," he said, obviously irritated that I brought the subject up.

"It is 6 in the damn morning, Timothée, and you've already smoked enough today to make this whole fucking room suffocate me!" I scoffed, tearing up slightly.

"How many have you had today? Three, five, six, nine!" I yelled. 

"I've had three, it's not that bad," he snapped, starting to walk away from me.

"Oh, it's not that bad? Well, my mistake for thinking having three cigarettes at six in the damn morning is concerning. I don't know why you're acting as if I'm some kind of idiot. I know that you always have at least two full packs on you at all times. But yeah, my fucking bad for worrying about my husband." I said, following close behind him as tears started to form in my eyes, clouding up my vision.

"Okay, I fucking get it!" He yelled, slamming his hands down on a table, causing me to gasp.

"But you don't! We have had this conversation countless other times and you give me the same answer every single fucking time! You say you'll try to quit and that you would do anything for me, but it doesn't mean shit right now, and quit frankly I'm fucking terrified that it won't ever! Why can't you see how much this is affecting me, affecting you?" I screamed back, my heart breaking at the sight of him tensing up as all signs of anger clears from his face.

"Listen, I get it. It's fun for now, but I can't sit back in silence anymore as I watch you slowly kill yourself. I love you way too much for that." I said, my voice breaking as tears were now fully rolling down my cheeks.

He reached his hand up to my face, lightly wiping the tears away, before pressing a kiss on both of my cheeks "I love you too, but it's not that easy to quit, you know," he said, both of his hands now cupping my face as he placed numerous kisses to the side of my head.

"I know baby, but have you even tried?"

"Yes." He mumbled, now looking down.

I rolled my eyes, "whatever then. I'm leaving until you get your problem sorted out." I said, pushing him off of me as I started to walk away, but before I could even take two steps, I feel him grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards him, into a hug.

"Please don't go, baby, I'm so sorry. I promise I'll stop. Just please don't go." He said, pressing sloppy kisses all around my face. 

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I will, y/n please, just don't go. I love you so much." He said, holding onto me as if he were about to fall to his death. 

I brought my hand up to his hair, slightly tugging on the roots of it, placing a small peck on his forehead. After a while, I loosened out of his grip, walking over to the jacket hook, where his cigarettes lied. "So you wouldn't care if I threw these away?" I questioned, holding up three packs of cigarettes, one almost empty but two of them not even opened yet.

He stared at me for a while, taking a deep breath, before taking the packs from my hand, quickly walking over to the restroom before emptying them into the toilet, flushing them quickly, and disregarding the packaging in the trash. Causing the biggest smile to form on my face.

"Give me one second, there's more," he said, walking over to his desk, opening the drawer up and pulling out one more pack, doing the same to that pack as he did to the last three.

He turned to face me, pulling me into another hug. "I love you so much," he said, kissing all over my face, causing me to laugh. 

"I know baby." I said, jokingly, laughing at his scrunched up face. 

"I can always buy more cigarettes." He said with a straight face, trying his best to hold in a laugh.

 "I love you too, Timothée Hal." I said, pushing his head down a little by his hair, forcing him to kiss me. 

[waywardwritesstuff]

Sleeping with the Shooter: A Crosshair X M!Reader

Crosshair X M!Reader (platonic/brotherly) Word Count: 1,489

Tags: fluff, comfort, platonic, intended to be brotherly (NOT INCEST)

Summary: It's been a while since The Bad Batch have been able to take a rest from missions on their home world of Kamino. But reader can't help but notice that things are changing, especially within the world of Clones. He seeks comfort in his brother Crosshair on the long journey home through hyperspace.

A/N: this is a self-indulgent one-shot I wrote for myself but I thought that maybe some others in the fandom could use the comfort from the ending of The Bad Batch. Enjoy!

Another long mission, another long flight back to Kamino, another sleepless night in the cock-pit of the Marauder. I was sitting in the cockpit, my legs up on the dashboard watching the light from the stars flash by us as we jumped through hyperspace. It was calming, serene, a gentle break from all the blaster fire, destruction and pressure of our missions. I was born to be a soldier, but this life was starting to feel less and less like mine. I’m starting to notice our disposability, it urks me, but there is nothing I can do about it, which bothers me even more.

As I continue to stare into hyperspace I feel a disturbance beside me. A creak confirmed my suspicion as the seat to my left now had the body of one of my brothers slumped into it.

“Tech’s not going to appreciate you having your boots on the dash.”

I shrug, “What he doesn’t know won’t kill him”

“Do you ever actually sleep?” Crosshair’s deep voice rattled out again.

“Do you?” I retort without looking at him.

He huffs continuing on whatever conversational path he had planned out in his mind.

“Your thinking too much again, aren’t you” It’s not a question, it’s a statement. Blunt and plain.

But not without a hint of concern, something our brothers often miss when talking to Crosshair, I can hear it, the underlying emotions in his speech that our brothers cannot.

“How can I not-“ I respond “- its in my code, my programming” I knock on my head, a dull thud sounding back.

I sigh and continue to watch the stars as they whizz past us, focusing on one flash of light until it's gone and then focusing on the next, I can feel my eyes flitting around in their sockets. He sighs as well and I see him, in my peripherals, lean forward, elbows on his knees, chin resting on the fingers of his curled-over shooting hand.

“What is it this time?”

“Us” I say darkly

“Us?”

“Us, our purpose, our reasoning, our next mission for the republic, us” I elaborate numbly.

He’s heard this all before and every time he tries to convince me that the Republic will always have a purpose for us, they made us, and they need us. The same old bullshit. He never sees how they treat our brothers. We come and go too quickly and our names just become numbers in a data bank, dust that litters the battlefields of the galaxy.

Crosshair maintains the silence without giving me one of his usually patriotic responses. I listen to his breaths, the nasally sound as his lungs push the filtered air of the ship in and out. As I’m watching the stars go by I don’t notice that Crosshair has stood up and walked over to my seat, I am too lost, in space and in my own mind. I nearly jump out of my seat when he puts a hand on my shoulder. Out of reflex I immediately turn and grab his wrist forcing it back.

“Shit” he cries and I let go of his wrist instantly

“Damnit it Crosshair…sorry” I mutter

“No, that one was my fault”

I inhale sharply and close my eyes for a moment, hugging my arms to myself before blinking them back open. Crosshair is still standing there, though noticeably a pace or so back from my chair. He looks at the ground thinking a moment before he looks at me and nods his head in the direction of our shared room. If you could even call it that.

I was the second biggest compartment of the ship aside from Storage, it was deck out with standard issue barrack bunks, with a few personal touches of course. Wrecker and Tech on one set, Wrecker's bunk is always decorated with Lula sitting in the corner by his head and Tech, as usual, has fallen asleep with his data pad hanging loosely from his fingers. The next is Hunter and Crosshair’s bunk, Hunter’s bandana hangs on the edge of his bed and Crosshair's bunk is empty, though I know he keeps a chest under his bed with some nicknacks from missions and planets we have visited, but I never bring it up. And lastly, Echo and I, Echo’s bed is also empty and mine is covered in a few bits of graffiti here and there.

My bunk is on the bottom which is why I assume that Crosshair is gesturing towards my bunk instead of his own. He climbs into my bunk and gestures for me to follow. The notion takes me aback slightly, none of us have had to share a bunk since we were younglings, not out of necessity or choice. We used to do it when we were still developing in the Kaminoan facility, making sure to stay close to one another. Minus Echo of course, we weren’t joined by him until much later. But Crosshair had always been off put by the idea of sharing sleeping quarters when there was an option to sleep apart, even when we were kids, so this gesture was not something that was normal for him to so willingly offer.

However it would seem that Crosshair could see what kind of struggle I was facing in my head, my programming though good for tactical advantages and strategy is not ideal for anything else. Maybe my state had become more noticeable as of late. I would need to make sure to rein that in as to not screw up future mission.

I climb in beside him in my bunk and he shuffles over so that his arm is bent underneath me. I rest my head on his chest and once I’m settled he curls his arm over my shoulder and cups the back of my head, placing his gloveless fingers into the mess that is my hair. The softness of the touch from his hand takes me by surprise, it was unlike him to be so gentle. He was swift, aggressive and tactical, it was his design. But his nature was not his design, he could be gentle, and he was very calm at times when he chose to be. I know this, and yet still the gesture does not fit with the image I have of my brother.

My head rests on his torso, right where the red marking that we all share on our breastplates would be. His heart thrumming a steady rhythm under his ribs, I follow the sound in my head, counting the time between each beat thump bump thump bump thump bump. The sound of it and the gentle but sturdy feeling of his torso underneath my chest had made me feel safer than I ever had. All I had known was War but this…this made me feel like I could have faith in the hope of life after war, maybe one where me and my brothers have freedom and true autonomy.

I divert my attention to his hand in my hair and focus on the bend of his fingers that are cupped around my head. The smoothness of his palm. Maybe tonight won’t be a sleepless night after all. I know how the brain responds to stimuli that are connected to memories and feelings of being safe, but I know all of that in theory. Not in practice.

Following this train of thought my mind wanders and I get lost, staring into the wall above Wrecker's head on the other side of the compartment. Briefly I wonder if Crosshair needs this as much as I do, and he’s using me as an excuse and guise to get this attention he needs, whatever the case I am happy to give it, not only for myself but for him. I know what Crosshair is like, he never takes care of himself, he takes better care of his rifle than he does his own mind and body.

I am pulled out of these thoughts, my eyes suddenly refocusing as his other hand comes into view of my face. I think that maybe he is just moving in his sleep and waiting for him to settle down again, but he isn’t moving like he’s asleep, his hand is moving lightly towards my face, almost as if cautious. He is still awake. His hand finally come to rest on my cheek, the barest contact between my face and his hand, but he holds it nonetheless and whispers something

“You’re a good kid” I bite my lip at his statement, and my eyes begin to sting. What the hell am I crying for?

‘It’s the stimuli to positive attention after an absence of it’ I remind myself.

I breathe deeply and absently I nuzzle into his hand and hum contentedly. And with that, at least for tonight, I am at peace and drift off to sleep.

I take requests if you like what you see then send in something per my guidelines

[feeblescholarmyass]

Prologue

cw: panic attack/extreme anxiety, I swear that y/n isn't this nervous all the time, originally written in 3rd person so there may be some wrong pronouns (she/her for placeholder character)

Sumeru boys x GN!reader (together because y/n is a poly bad bitch)

Hello

"Hi, I'm Y/n! I'm a first year Amurta student in the Akademiya. Hold on, I think someone is calling for me. Coming, Tighnari!"

"I'm not sure this is the best idea anymore. Maybe I should have joined Rhawatist with you instead. What if I don't know anyone? I'm gonna fail." You tugged at a strand of hair that had fallen out of place.

"Don't be silly, Y/n. You belong in Amurta. As much as I'd love for you to be in my classes, I know you'll do better there." Layla smiled reassuringly at you and squeezed your hand tight.

"Okay. If you're sure." You took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. "We got this."

The sound of Layla's stomach growling interrupted your gathering of confidence. Layla blushed and you crossed your arms over her chest.

"Layla, what was that?"

"Uh, I may have been so excited that I forgot to eat breakfast this morning... Don't be mad!" Layla whimpered, blinking sadly.

You sighed and shook your head. "It's fine. We can go get breakfast. Thank goodness we share a dorm. Otherwise, I don't think you'd ever have a somewhat proper schedule."

"Yes, Y/n. Sorry, Y/n." Layla giggled, pulling you over to a nearby cafe. The pair sat by a window and ordered their breakfast, both too tired to have much of a conversation.

The sound of voices arguing caught their attention.

"Are you an idiot? No, I'm not getting you coffee. You should have slept last night if you wanted to be less tired."

"Oh, then what's your excuse? You just like the taste?"

"No. I acknowledge my own issues with caffeine. I may have a small addiction. But I, unlike someone, can afford to buy it."

"Ugh! You're so infuriating!"

Layla slouched deeper into the cushion of her seat, using her hood to hide her face. You raised an eyebrow at her, asking Layla for answers silently.

"Don't worry about it. They're some upperclassmen. Alhaitham and Kaveh. They're pretty well known, both for their intellect and attitude."

"Oh. Makes sense. They're already so loud." You shrugged, grabbing your smoothie from the waitress and taking a sip.

"Take a seat, you two." A grouchy sounding voice joined in. You glanced up, searching for its owner. Long, silver hair and crimson eyes captivated your attention.

Your fingers itched for your pencils, hidden deep in your bag. He was so pretty. "And who's he?"

"Oh, that's Cyno. I don't know much about him. He's their friend, I think."

"Hm..." You rested your cheek on your palm, watching the group of boys. "And who's that?"

"Tighnari. He's the more mild one in the group, as far as I've heard. I think he's from the same darshan as you." Layla yawned. Her head nodded once, twice, then once more before quiet snores overtook anything else she had to say.

You sighed, moving Layla's food out of the way so she didn't land in it, then helped her lay her head on the table in a somewhat comfortable position so she didn't wake up aching.

"Maybe that will be my first project. I'll make a sleep aid for Layla that she can actually afford. If she agrees to be a test subject, I bet I could give it to her for free in the name of research." You muttered to yourself while twirling your straw around in your smoothie.

When Layla finally woke up, the two of you finished breakfast and hurried to the Akademiya. You now stood in front of the huge main doors, surrounded by fellow students. Layla pulled you to the side, knowing that you both needed some space.

"Okay, you're going to do great Y/n. I'll see you at lunch, yeah?" Layla smiled reassuringly, only slightly less tired than earlier.

"Mhm. Lunch," You muttered distractedly. Your hands were shaking and you felt a little like you might throw up. The thought of lunch made it worse. You were lucky that you had gotten that smoothie down earlier. If you tried eating now, your really would puke.

"Go make some friends in Amurta. You're good at that. You're gonna be the most adorable first year there, you hear me? You're cute, you're confident. The stars never lie." Layla squeezed your hands twice, not letting go first.

You squeezed back and took a deep breath. "Same with you. You'd better make some friends who can keep you awake during class, or at least let you borrow notes."

"We got this," Layla grinned. You grinned back. You let go of each other's hands and began on separate paths to your darshans.

You kept your eyes on the ground, your peripheral vision going just far enough that she could avoid running into others. You knew that if you looked up and saw the vaulted ceiling and crowd of people, the tears you had already fought down would return.

You knew all of this, but you looked up anyway.

"Archons, I can't do this," you whispered, panic overwhelming you. You looked for an exit, anything that would get you out. A familiar face or a room that had a lot less people.

You found a door to a copy room and snuck in, closing the door behind you. You covered your mouth and bit your lip, trying to force the tears to go away.

It didn't work.

You grabbed the chiffon scarf you had worn specifically to distract yourself, tugged it closer around your shoulders and crouched in the corner.

Amidst your panic, you hadn't noticed that the copy room wasn't empty. An older boy watched you silently, shock keeping him quiet.

After some time, you senses started to slowly return to normal. That was when you noticed someone standing in front of you. You breath caught in your throat and you slowly looked up.

The boy with pretty hair and cute animal ears looked at you with wide eyes.

"Are you okay?"

[sequincult]

Return of the Floyd Part 2

(part 1 can be read here)

It’s midnight in Troll Village, the sky is a deep purple, and every Troll is in a cozy, deep sleep. One such Troll is King Peppy, who’s currently resting in his nice, warm bed. At least, until…

“DAD! DAD! DAD! WAKE UP!!!!” Poppy slams rapidly on the door of her fathers pod with both fists. An increasingly tired Floyd is shaken out of his stupor by her endless energy. “Wait, are you sure this is ok? We can leave it till morning if that’s better.” “No!! Floyd this is urgent!! I mean just look at you! You look terrible!” Floyd frowns at her before peering down at himself, he is pretty looking pretty rough right now. He can’t remember the last time he’d showered. The door swings open and the pair are greeted by a yawning King Peppy, heavy bags under his eyes. “Sorry I took such a while, I forgot where I placed my keys and I… Oh! Poppy! What are you doing here so late? Is everything ok? Are you alright?” “Dad!” Poppy leaps forwards and envelops her dad in a tight hug. “No, don’t worry, I’m fine! But… this here is Branch’s brother, and he really needs some help. He has nowhere to stay and they had a big fight and now he’s…” Poppy grabs Floyd’s hand and shoves it in Peppy’s face. His smile fades. “Oh… I see. Come in you two, I’ll brew us some tea and we can have a talk. I’m sure there’s something we can do.”

The three promptly enter Peppy’s home. After the lights are flicked on Floyd is surprised at how ‘un-regal’ the place is. It’s comfortably furnished, and he feels more at ease with how relaxed the room feels. After the king brews drinks for everyone, they t ake a seat. “Thank you for seeing me this late King Peppy, I hope it’s not too much trouble.” “Oh of course not! It is my duty to serve all trolls and at anytime. Now, tell what can I do to help” “Well, I need somewhere to sleep as I really don’t think Branch is going to want me to stay with him after what happened. A-and my hand… I’d never seen a troll that grey. I could hardly bare to look at him, and after he left I was so overwhelmed I just burst into tears. I couldn’t help but feel like this is all my fault…” King Peppy sips his tea and thinks. “Hmmm. We’ve got several empty pods for visitors, you’re more than welcome to stay in one for a while. As for your hand?” He takes a deep breath. “Branch is one of only two trolls I’ve ever known to turn fully grey. The other was a long, long time ago, and my memory is poor; I simply cannot remember what came of them. I’m afraid Branch is likely the only one who can help you now.”

Floyd starts shifting around in his seat. “But the last thing Branch will want to do is talk to me. I-It’s hopeless.” Poppy’s ears perk up. “Then… I’ll talk to him! I don’t think he likes me all that much but it’s worth a shot right? And if he doesn’t listen, I’ll issue a royal demand and MAKE him talk to you!!” King Peppy does a double take and raises an eyebrow at his daughter. “Poppy… we got rid of the royal demands over one hundred years ago! Don’t you remember your history lesson?” “Ugh, I was hoping that would work…” She rolls her eyes. “But really, I’m serious about talking to Branch. Besides, it’s the least I could do for you Floyd. How about we head out in the morning? His bunker is pretty far and it’s already late.”

Floyd grimaces. Did.. Branch build the bunker? There was no way right? He couldn’t have… “Did you just say bunker?” “Yeah! Branch started building it after his grandma died. Or, I guess your grandma died… It’s kinda strange, it’s such a HUGE place, but he’s building it all for himself. Weird.” Sinking deeper and deeper into his seat, Floyd looks like he just got shot; memories of the art Branch made as a baby coming back all too easily. “Ha ha yeah! That is so strange?? Uhhh anyway… I’m going to uh get some rest, I’ll see you in the morning ok???” Sensing Floyd’s odd behaviour, Poppy shuffles a little closer. “Hey, are… you alright? He stutters. “Y-YES! I mean… Yeah. Just need some sleep that’s all. Today has been a lot.” She tilts her head and smiles gently. “I know this must be so difficult for you. Do…you want a hug?” “That might be nice actually.” Poppy wraps her arms around him and his eyes light up. It’s been so long since he’d had a genuine hug, or any contact at all really. And Poppy was really good at giving hugs. This was just what he needed. After Poppy finally releases him, he gets ready to head out.

“Thank you. You’ve been too kind to me Poppy.” “Not at all Floyd! I just want every troll to be happy!” She glances down at her feet. “A-and I really want Branch to be happy too. I think you can help him, that you can help each other.” “Your optimism knows no bounds.” Floyd laughs. “Goodnight Poppy, oh, and thank your dad for me when he wakes up.” Somehow Poppy had been so deep in conversation that she hadn’t noticed her dad had drifted off. “Oh, yeah haha! I guess he fell asleep while we were talking.’ Floyd smiles as he turns and leaves the pod, eager to get some rest and a little time to himself. He looks down at his hand and sighs, hopeful for tomorrow.

[thespiritualfives]

Bad Batch Head Cannon - Blazed

Hey! This is my head cannon on what i think the Bad batch would react while being blazed! Enjoy my thoughts haha GN!Reader

Also i can take request if you guys have any other head canons you want, i can pretty much write for any clone! :)

Warnings: Suggested actions (Just in case), Smoking, GNreader, fluff, Slight angst.

Crosshair

Crosshair, man when he takes a drag off of his joint he likes to draw it out as much as he can. He would purposely blow smoke in your face in hopes of getting a rise out of you.

He's incredibly affectionate while high, rather it be carelessly laying his head on the nape of your neck while you're sitting on his lap and he long lanky arms are tightly around your waist.

While he's perfectly fine being vulnerable with you, being away from the other in your own secluded section of the ship. He hates if his brothers catch him being this vulnerable with you, but he can't bring himself to stop even when being caught.

He can appreciate the fact you put up with his snarky comments, occasional cold shoulder, sometimes even walking off without saying a word to you. You knew ever since he was rescued from the grasp of the empire it would take time for him to re-adjust back to being with his brothers, so you were more than happy to put up with it knowing there is a light at the end of his dark tunnel he had been traveling since Order 66 was issued.

Hunter

Hunter is the same as Cross, he likes to take a drag out of the roll he made, he will keep the smoke away from you if it bothers you at any point, honestly the smoke bothers him but he hates they way edibles make him feel, he took one once and he swore he would never do it again.

While smoking bothers him he is able to relax after a moment and let himself be engulfed in the haze. He thinks it is worth the smell for the feeling that puts him at ease.

Hunter would never do this infront of Omega, he wanted to keep the appearance of being a father like figure to her, not a lazy laid back sergeant who will just go with the flow and with no plan.

When it comes to you he's possessive, good luck going to the refresher and not having the Sergeant posted outside the door. He will make sure to cuddle you while you are trying to do you work on the holopad, he doesn't care if his brothers stubble upon him in this state but he does care if Omega is within his hearing radius, he will quickly attempt to sober up and act like his normal attentive self. If omega is on the ship at the same time hunter is in this state he will remain quiet while twirling his vibro blade between his fingers acting like nothing is wrong and that he's not soaring among the stars.

Tech

Oh my boy Tech, while he doesnt see a need to become under the influence, he slowly gets curious about the effects it would cause for him and how he could use this as a learning experience. He pops in an edible and oh he was FLYING.

Tech wants to make sure he is documenting every aspect of this experience while he can, he has seen based on your previous highs that there will be a point to where all you wanna do is cuddle or sleep or even both.

Tech feels his mind that was once racing with so much information, is starting to finally slow down for him to take a deep breath. While he's in this mindset he seeks out comfort from you in the form of just talking and holding your hand. He's not one for cuddling out in the open of the ship so he just ops for holding your hand. While you both talk about nonsense from the previous missions and how things could've gone differently.

After a while Tech will motion you to join him in the now empty cockpit of the ship orbiting through hyperpsace, after you join him Tech takes a seat in his respective chair and pulls you down to sit in his lap to where your back is facing him. He sighs a gentle sigh and will rest his chin on your shoulder while watching the lanes of hyperspace pass you by.

Wrecker

If this man gets a hold of an edible he is gone, He is instantly just mush and a bombshell of emotions. As soon as he devours the edible he is instantly by your side and ready for the effects to take place. He will lazily drape his arm over your shoulders since he essentially loses his ability to walk and have balance.

You and the boys hid all the explosives you could prior before wrecker can get the idea of going out side and having explosive lessons with Omega.

Wrecker is a huge cuddle bantha when he is in the mid state of his daze. He will do his best to keep awake and to keep you wrapped up by his side so that way he knows you're safe and that you are still there. Sometimes he will lay there in his bunk with you wondering out why you are with him and not one of his brothers. His insecurities will get the best of him but you would be there to wash them away and to make sure he knows why you are with him.

Once wrecker calms down from his panic attack he starts to drift off to sleep shortly after you do with your head on his chest, he makes it his goal to make sure you are asleep first before he can drift off to sleep himself. Knowing that you are safely in his arms is all he needs to know before he drifts off.

Echo

Echo refuses to take a drag of a blunt, eat an edible or even play with the idea. Until one day he had just returned from a mission and you could tell he was not okay, he was on the verge of tears, you knew he didn't fully cope with the fact of him losing his twin Fives and you could tell it was finally catching up to him. As you sit down next to him he asked you quietly if him and you could go to your personal space on the ship, once you reach the area he asked if you would let him try an edible, he was desperate enough to try anything to ease to pain of losing Fives.

Echo sits down in your bunk as you join him, he lays his head on your should in defeat and before you knew it Echo started telling stories of him and Fives from during the war. He told you everything from when they were in Domino squad all the way up to Echo's very last moments at the citadel. You knew it was the effects of the daze he was in that was making him talk about the past and based of how Echo was telling the stories and a few chuckles in between his stories you knew Echo need to talk about his brother in order to process and grieve.

Once Echo was in the mid of his daze you could tell there was a shift in his dimeter, he would lift his head from your shoulder, ask if you wanted to play a prank on one of the other members of The Bad Batch, he would have a well developed plan in store for every member even a contingency plan in store. You could see a glimmer of the man who use to be prior his capture to the separatist. Granted you never knew Echo from before, but by how he is being devious right now is a nod in favor to his lost brother Fives.

Before you can even attempt any of the pranks to the other Batchers Echo is finding himself drifting off in your bunk, he has your hand in a death grip almost as if he is afraid that if he lets go you will also be nothing but a memory. So you do what you feel is natural and lay beside him as he starts to lull himself to sleep, as you get settled laying on your back you all of a sudden feel arms around your waist and Echo's head now resting on your chest.

*If you made it this far welcome to my mind (scary place right?) Not going to lie Echo was the fun one to write for in this head canon. If you want SUMT (18+), Fluff, Angst etc…. then all you have to do is request it! Super simple. I can write for any clone you have your heart set on! Till next time :)

[animalgenderbodypart]

Doctors Appointment

Clara has an appointment with a ver popular, very unorthodox hypno-therapist to solve her sleep issues

| M/F | low edited | Hypnosis | Coercion | Dubious Consent | Mind Control | Doctor/Patient | Degradation | slight bimbofication | Memory Play | Cis/Het | NSFT |

~~

She clicked her fingers on the dark, wooden table in front of her. It was a satifsying sound, and her patience was running thin at the waiting time.

Dr. Bradshaw was a well known spychiatrist, and she had been on the list to see him for months. Everyone she'd talked to had raved about how much their lives had improved after seeing them; addictions overcome, insomnia fixed, stress and anxiety all but vanished! It almost sounded too good to Clara, but the sleepless nights were starting to ware at her.

After what felt like an eternity, he emerged from his office and bid farewell to a woman she didn't know, then beckoned her to follow inside.

The room was inviting, warm brown bookshelves and a red velvet sitting couch with accompanying chair. She layed on the couch, and Dr. Bradshaw took up his seat beside her, looking her over with his soft Hazel eyes.

"Miss Finnigan. Over the phone we spoke of you having issues sleeping, is that correct?" His voice was so deep and kind, it rumbled over her and she relaxed into the plush couch.

"Y-yes," she'd explained this a thousand times, but thusfar nothing had made it easier to get to sleep. "Ever since I lost my fiancè, i haven't been able to get to sleep. I toss and turn and imagine what I could have done differently, but I'm hardly getting 3 hours a night. I feel like I'm losing my mind!"

She felt that lump in her throat and took a shaky breath. He put a hand to her arm and let her collect herself before speaking.

"That sounds awful Clara, I'm sorry. Let's try to get to the bottom of this, shall we? I can see that you're distressed, and I want you to sleep." His rumbling voice drifted through her mind, and she started to relax again.

"Imagine now that you're trying to sleep. Relax your muscles and your mind, just let yourself start to drift. Don't think about him. Think about letting yourself relax,"

She tried to focus on his words, to not think about Michael, but it was hard, and she scrunched her face in discomfort.

"Now now, don't think about all those things," his hand was on her arm again, warm and comforting. "Let my words think for you, let yourself relax into the chair.

Let your arms and legs feel like lead on that plush fabric, let your mind empty itself at my words. Let my voice fill your mind and-"

He snapped his fingers beside her ear.

"Drop. Deeper and deeper down, feel yourself sink into nothing. Your mind is empty and you. Are. Mine."

Her breathing was slow and even, she was essentially out cold. Perfect. He continued;

"Good girl. When you're in this deep state of trance, you will do exactly as I say. My word is law, and following commands is as natural as breathing. Do you understand? Say 'yes master' if you understand."

"Yes master..." her voice came soft and doughy, her eyes barely still open.

"Good girl. Whenever you wake from trance, you will have a week of restful sleep, not remembering what we did in our session. After that you will crave to come back, your problems will return and you will need to see me again to help it. Do you understand?"

"Yes master" her complete and total trance made him excited, her sleep deprivation made her even easier than the others had been.

"Being in trance is so easy, and it feels so good. You love being under my spell, you love it so much that you feel the need to show your appreciation." He was starting to feel hot, watching her placid face and slow, methodical breathing.

"Following my commands makes you feel Pleasure. You're a good girl who needs to Please and to be Pleased. My words of encouragement make you start to feel hot; you're a little slut, and will do exactly as I say to Please me."

"Yes, master" it came out almost as a moan.

"Good girl. You're going to open your mouth up for me and suck." He hastily unbuckled his belt and freed his twitching cock from the slacks.

Her mouth was so warm and wet, it took all of the doctor's strength to go slowly and not slam into her throat. Soon enough he started to pump and she took it eagerly, swirling her tongue around and sucking like it was the last thing she'd ever do.

"Good girl," he grunted, suffing her face full with himself. "You love being my little toy, my vacant little fuckdoll. You need Daddy to use you, don't you? You vapid slut, getting so wet when I degrade you." He pulled out of her mouth just in time to stop himself from letting go inside her, eager to get to the main event.

"Now, when I wake you up, you won't remember any of this," he whispered into her ear. She was panting heavily now. "When you're under my control, you are a bitch in heat. When you leave my office, you are your normal self."

"Please Daddy, give me more" was her only reply, her hips bucking ever so slightly up toward him.

It was too much to resist, and he pulled her panties aside to slide into her hungry cunt. The feeling was electric and he started to pound into her ferociously. When her panting turned into moans, he clamped a hand over her mouth,

"You will be silent while I have my way with you." She nodded, going quiet as he continued to rail her. "You will find the pleasure overwhelming, but will be unable to cum unless I do."

Her vacant expression of pleasure and her perfect body getting rocked by him eventually sent Dr. Bradshaw over the edge. He ground to halt, groaning as he filled the young woman with his thick seed.

Her eyes rolled back into her head as she climaxed, breathing heavily but miraculously, remaining hushed the whole time.

"There's a good girl. You're so good for me, you're going to come back in a week for more, aren't you?"

"Yes, Master," she replied breathily, riding the hormonal high of being bred by a virtual stranger.

He layed her back out on the couch and fixed her clothes the best he could before straightening himself up. He planted extra trigger phrases into Clara, before waking her up and assuring her that she had just drifted off to sleep during their session. She left thag day totally satisfied, and would definitely keep coming back.

[lucyfrostblade]

kipperlilly 👻, 😺, 😶 ivy 🎭, 🎶, 😶 ruben 🦾, 🏳️‍🌈, 😶

headcanon ask game !!

thank you! this one is under the cut because it's fairly long

Kipperlilly:

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

i think it would be easy to say that Kipperlilly is afraid of being insignificant which i think is part of it, but i don't think that's the root of issues. in the screenrant interview that brennan did, he says that kipperlilly forced the name "the high 5 heroes" as a way to force camaraderie that they didn't have yet. we also know from jawbone's file on kipperlilly that she wanted to keep the name while everyone except lucy voted against, and that in particular Ivy and Oisin proposed the name change. finally we also know that lucy was "the only one that sort of gets it". to me this comes together to paint a picture of someone who is incredibly lonely and doesn't know how to fix that.

she doesn't want to be alone, and this is what motivates her to me. she'll be useful, and she'll be interesting, and no one will ever leave her again. she's trying to make herself invaluable to her party, this genius mastermind rogue that leads them to glory, so that ultimately they have no choice but to stick with her. it's not even something she's necessarily conscious of, that deep-seated fear she has of being alone.

i think it makes the fact that she's the only one that stays dead after the plan and the fact that she willing took the shatterstar even more tragic, because she's ended up exactly where she feared most: alone and unremarkable (not to me, kipperlilly copperkettle you will always be famous to me)

😺 An animal related headcanon

in middle school, kipperlilly's parents took her to an animal shelter and they adopted a cat. the original idea was to get a dog, a really affectionate and energetic dog to help bring her out of her shell and relax to a certain extent. she ended up falling in love with this small orange cat that she names peaches, a name she is embarrassed by once she gets older. when the shatterstar plan starts in full force, and all the rat grinders end up at ruben's house, peaches stays at kipperlilly's house. she doesn't need the comfort or the affection from him anymore, she's beyond that she tells herself. her parents send pictures and she pretends she doesn't miss her stupid orange cat. he still sleeps in her bed, waiting for her to come back.

😶 A random headcanon!

i am a big fan of the idea of kipperlilly becoming a devil in hell post-canon. she would thrive there, i think, and really just lean into all her worst traits. just slowly climbing the ranks of hell and amassing more and more power and finally mattering in the ways she always wanted to be. it's easier for her to pretend that she's not so lonely, to ignore that she got everything she wanted and she still craves something else, that underneath it all she's still just a lonely high school junior.

Ivy:

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

ivy lies to herself more than she lies to anyone else, i feel. not that she's necessarily truthful to other people but it's rarely if ever an outright lie, more so manipulating the truth. but with herself? she'll push down her feelings and convince herself that she doesn't actually feel that way.

🎶 A headcanon about music

if you ask ivy she listens to rock music, something paramore-esque and maybe some pom pom squad if she wants to seem more indie in music tastes, but in her heart of hearts? she loves pop music. wireless earbuds are her best friend because now to doesn't have to worry about oisin pulling her earbuds out and like .5 of siena liggins, rina sawayama, muna, sofya wang, or chappell roan playing. she thinks it ruins her mystique if anyone finds out she listen to sapphic pop music

😶 A random headcanon!

in the yellowjackets trg au that is constantly rattling around in the back of my head, ivy is the natalie—the reluctant leader and the one who knows the most about actual survivial—to lucy's lottie and kipperlilly's misty.

and then bc i have no idea if you have any context for yellowjackets, in the doomed space crew trg au that is also constantly rattling around on my brain, i have her down as the pilot and oisin as the captain. she's next in line to be in charge if anything happens to him, and outwardly she's super confident about it, but really she doesn't want to consider 1) anything to happen to oisin and 2) actually having to make the tough calls

(if you are curious kipperlilly is the engineer, lucy is the medic, mary ann is security, ruben is the botanist, and i am not sure where to put buddy yet)

ruben:

🦾 A disability headcanon

bro has the worst vision in the world. he doesn't ever wear glasses in public, used to wear contacts but he wore them too much and he's now banned from wearing them and his eye doctor will no longer prescribe them. he makes lucy or oisin read every menu to him. he'll wear them only in private and only to write and learn new music.

i also think he has chronic hand and wrist pain, the sort that existed before he started playing guitar but is 100% worsened by it. lucy used to remind him

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon

i think he's bi, mostly dates women to the point where for a while everyone assumes he's straight but then he casually mentions a hookup with a dude. i don't think he puts much thought in romantic partners or their genders, he just dates people.

😶 A random headcanon!

on a very objective level i understand that the irl music that ruben's band makes is very evidently just mcr but i personally think it's funnier if my clerical gnomance makes music similar to waterparks: "I'm sick of all this how'd you get your band name? / Is that your real first name? / Can you text and can you follow back cause it's my birthday? / No one cares what I want, just what I've got / And if we sit and count it up it's really not a lot" is such a "i'm getting mobbed for autographs" verse and you cannot convince me otherwise.

also he would have an elaborate inside joke that one of the members is an infamous serial killer that's really popular in the fandom until the shatterstar stuff becomes known and then it's just awkward. they don't stop making the joke tho. (lucy finds it funny, personally)

post shatterstar i think he leans more towards music like laura jean grace's, reconciling his pre-shatterstar, shatterstarted, and post-shatterstar selves into some angsty and anger soulcrushing tunes ala "I am a burning church / I am artifice and years collapsing / I have not yet become all that I will be"

[stargazer-sims]

All the questions (1-15) for Nikolai and Mishka please

@dandylion240 sorry this took so long! I had it almost finished and then forgot it was in my drafts, and it got pushed down by all the other stuff in my drafts... and yeah. Anyway, here you go!

I'm going to do both of them together, so I only have to copy-paste the question set one time.

Nikolai Pavlenko & Mikhail (Mishka) Vasiliev

What is your character's biggest fear, and how does it affect their actions and relationships?

Nikolai's biggest fear is losing his independence. So much of his self-identity is tied to teaching, helping and taking care of others, it's hard for him to accept the idea of needing to be taken care of by someone else. He's okay with interdependence, but he's afraid of a situation where he might no longer be able to care for himself and where he'd become mostly, or fully, dependent on other people looking after him.

Mishka's biggest fear is abandonment, which extends out to a real fear of simply being alone. He was never able to live alone and always needed to have a roommate after leaving his family's home. He doesn't like to go anywhere by himself, especially if he's never been there before, and when Nikolai travels, Mishka either has to stay with someone else or travel with him. He thinks his fear of abandonment goes all the way back to when he was a baby/toddler, when his biological mother would leave him and Vika alone in their apartment for hours and sometimes days at a time. He used to have major separation anxiety when he was a child (and he still kind of does, if he's being honest).

What is something your character is deeply passionate about, and how does it drive their goals and motivations?

Nikolai is deeply passionate about sports in general and figure skating in particular. He's highly competitive and he always wants to be the best he can be, which motivates him to stay fit an healthy. It informs his choices about exercise, eating and sleep. Unfortunately, it also means he can be stubborn once he makes up his mind, and sometimes he doesn't know when to quit.

Mishka is passionate about appreciating and understanding all living things. He loves animals, and despite being both anxious and shy, he's really a people-person at heart. He's soft-hearted and compassionate and genuinely wants to help everyone live their best life, including every animal. This has motivated him to get involved in volunteering with organizations such as an animal rescue and a community soup kitchen and thrift shop. Now that he's retired from his hockey career, he has more time to devote to his causes.

Describe a memorable childhood experience that shaped your character's personality or outlook on life

The thing in Nikolai's childhood that shaped his character and personality wasn't so much a specific event but really his childhood in general. Nikolai was raised by his grandfather just as much as by his parents (if not more so). Of all his guardians, he's always been closest to his grandfather, and he was greatly influenced not just by the way his grandfather raised him but also by the way he saw his grandfather treat other people. Grandpa is a genuinely kind and thoughtful person, and he loves to help and teach others, and Nikolai wanted to be like that too, whether by conscious choice or as a way of life.

A childhood experience that shaped Mishka's personality was being abused, neglected and ultimately abandoned by his biological mother. It caused him to have a deep-seated fear of the dark from being locked in a cupboard as a toddler, not to mention his fear of abandonment and of being alone. He's also afraid of needles (due to his biological mother injecting herself with drugs and then having very bad reactions), and he's afraid of people yelling at him (something his bio mother did far too often). Fortunately, he was adopted by his foster family, and they gave him the life he deserved, but he still has issues because of a lot of those things that happened. He's also grown up to value every living thing, and to do his best to make sure innocent and vulnerable people don't suffer the way he did.

What are your character's quirks or eccentricities that make them stand out from others?

For Nikolai, it's his hair. It's not really a quirk or eccentricity, but it is a characteristic that makes him stand out from others. One of his quirks that might make him stand out to the more observant person might be his obsession with wearing green clothes. The majority of his wardrobe is green, with the exception of shoes, jeans, and some black, grey or brown shorts and sweatpants, and it's unusual to see him in other colours.

Also not really a quirk, but Mishka is notable for having an overall physical appearance that doesn't seem to match with his personality. He embodies that older meme "looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll". People who don't know MIshka well are often intimidated by him at first.

Does your character have any hidden talents or abilities that only a few people know about?

Nikolai can draw and is fairly skilled at it, but he doesn't really like to show off his art. He's self-conscious about it, so only the people closest to him know.

Mishka likes to knit and crochet, and he knows how to do basic sewing. It's not necessarily a hidden talent, but it's not something he talks about with most people, either.

What is your character's preferred way of coping with stress or difficult situations?

Nikolai exercises when he's stressed. He finds physical activity helps him release all his pent-up energy and lets him relax.

Mishka stress-knits. Making multiple hats and pairs of mittens is far better for him than some of his old anxiety-coping behaviours, such as not eating, or unconsciously pulling out strands of his own hair.

How does your character handle failure or setbacks? Are they resilient or easily discouraged?

Neither one of them cope well with setbacks initially, but they're both resilient.

Nikolai is stubborn and dedicated, which is a powerful combination when it comes to pushing through failure and heading for his goals. He's very goal-oriented, and although he might struggle at first when he fails at something or has a setback, he's never down for long.

Mishka is more prone to being discouraged, but not to the point of giving up. Where Nikolai is self-motivated, Mishka often needs at least a little encouragement to help him get up and keep going. It's not because he doesn't want to achieve the goal in question, but more so that he needs someone to affirm that he can do it and to validate his continued efforts.

Describe a significant relationship in your character's life and how it has influenced them.

Nikolai considers all his relationships significant, but one of the most important ones for him is with his former coach and 'bonus mom', Beth-Anne. She's one of the few people with whom he's comfortable showing his vulnerability (his grandfather, Mishka and Ginger being the others). He also credits Beth-Anne for saving his life, literally and figuratively, shortly after the accident that ended his competitive skating career. Her love and support helped him want to stay alive, and she was the one who helped him get his life back on track, and she steered him toward coaching as a natural next step for him. He loves coaching and he's forever grateful to Beth-Anne for all she's done for him. Now, his goal is to pay her kindness forward to someone else.

Mishka's most significant relationship is with Nikolai. He's made great strides in his personal growth because Nikolai supports him rather than judging him. Mishka is never going to be an extrovert or a particularly self-assured person, but thanks to Nikolai's help and encouragement, he's learned how to be more outgoing and confident, and he's learned that the world isn't nearly as scary a place as his own anxiety would want him to believe. He's learning how to trust others and how to make strong, lasting friendships.

What is your character's moral compass? What principles or values do they hold dear?

I would say this is very similar for both Nikolai and Mishka. They aren't religious but they would both think of themselves as moral individuals. Both of them value courage, kindness, compassion and honesty. They both also place a high value on loyalty, and family (or found family) loyalty in particular.

Imagine your character in a challenging moral dilemma. How would they approach it, and what choice would they make?

The choice they'd make would really depend on the dilemma.

They'd both seek advice from someone they trust, and they'd both weigh up the case for and against each potential course of action. Both of them lean more toward being emotional decision-makers, but that's not to say they wouldn't give it serious thought. Mishka would struggle less than Nikolai would, because morality is a bit less nuanced in Mishka's worldview. Nikolai sees more shades of grey than Mishka does.

Is there a specific physical feature or item that holds special significance to your character? Why is it important to them?

Nikolai has a silver ring that was given to him by Beth-Anne, which has the word "forever" engraved on the inside. Beth-Anne has a similar one that she received from her former coach, Stan. Hers has the Latin inscription "per aspera ad astra" (through hardship, to the stars) on the inside. Eden also has one, given to him by Nikolai, which says "chase your dream". Nikolai hopes Eden might someday have a special student of his own to give one to. The inscription on Nikolai's ring refers to his first gold-medal win with Beth-Anne as his coach. He was going through a confidence crisis, after having three coaches in theree years, but he really bonded with Beth-Anne and this was the first glimmer of the shining career he'd hoped for. He wanted Beth-Anne to stay with him, and she promised she would continue to coach him and that she'd stay in his life forever if that's what he wanted.

Mishka's important item is his blue teddy bear (also called Mishka). It's important to him because he hadn't had a teddy bear or plushie since he was a young child, and really wanted one but was too self-conscious as a grown man to purchase his own. Self-consciousness about teddy bears isn't something Nikolai suffers from (he carries his through the airport), so he had no problem buying one for Mishka.

How does your character react to change or unexpected situations? Are they adaptable or resistant?

Mishka does not like change or unexpected situations. He's very routine-oriented and prefers to have lots of advance notice to prepare himself psychologically for things like travelling, having overnight houseguests, etc. Unfortunately, he doesn't always get the advance notice he prefers, and interruptions in his routine are very stressful for him. He's not resistant to change per se. He knows and accepts that change is inevitable. His problem isn't that he resists it, but more that he struggles to adapt. If he had his preference, nothing much would change, but he gets that change is often necessary and he tries his best to keep up even if he doesn't like it and finds it upsetting and challenging.

Nikolai isn't a fan of change either, but he's a lot more adaptable than Mishka. Nikolai has learned to be pragmatic about change. He may be upset or stressed in the moment, but he recovers quickly and is reasonably good at rolling with whatever happens.

Does your character have any recurring dreams or nightmares? How do these dreams affect them?

Neither of them have any recurring dreams

What is your character's preferred method of self-expression? Do they have any artistic talents or creative outlets?

Nikolai's favourite form of self-expression is dance (and skating)

For Mishka, it' s music. He's had classical vocal training and piano lessons, and he loves both. If you think you hear opera on the beach, it's Mishka. Loud Russian drinking songs? Probably also Mishka. Soulful ballad in the shower? Mishka.

Describe a defining moment in your character's life that marked a turning point or significant change in their path.

Nikolai's defining moment was the injury that ended his competitive skating career, and the weeks that followed his injury. Up to that point, he'd defined himself primarily as a professional athlete, and the loss of his ability to compete left him shattered for a while. He didn't know how to think of himself outside the context of his sport. His transition into coaching helped him see things from a new perspective, not just in his own life but in his view of the world in general.

Mishka hasn't had his defining moment yet, but it's coming. For him, it'll be becoming a parent.