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yamithediaperdork · 4 years ago

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Crime and Punishment: Jail Bird Diaries (MHA)

Crime and Punishment: Jail bird diaries

*The following is the entries from a diary recovered from the cell of one Katsuki Bakugo after serving his time in the regression jail. certain entry's have been removed as the writing was unable to be made out.*

Week 2, Day 1

So after a fucking week in this stupid fucking hell hole they dare to call a good idea, It's been suggested to me by the stupid AI I have to refer as daddy that I might calm myself down and stop adding time to my stupid fucking sentence if I vent in this stupid fucking book. I pointed out I can barley hold this stupid fucking crayon with the mittens i have to wear but a hand just came out of the wall and patted my head, telling me I'm a clever boy and I'll figure it out. I would of added anther two months onto my sentence right then and there if it wasn't for these fucking glove, even if Maybe kinda sorta..the head pat felt nice. ANYWAYS! to any assholes reading this, expect lots of fucking cursing because daddy said I can swear all i want in here and I have a back flow I need to get out. I mean with all the stupid fucking bull shit I have to put up wi- And fuck me, shitting myself again. fuck this place sucks.

Week 2, Day 2

You just know it's gonna be a shit fucking day Diary when you wake up to the feeling of having a uber load in the seat of your pants patted and rubbed and being praised for being a super good pooper. I'm already not a fan of the super bulky diapers these bastard keep me in but 'daddy' has apparently registered me as a super pooper and states anything thing less wouldn't hold up to my boom booms. refer to my statement about earning more time in here from the last entry for my feelings on THAT! I had figured with the massive bulk of these things at least I wouldn't have to worry about any cutesy outfits save for some t-shirt but since apparently I pissed off god, guess fucking what? No really, Guess. If you guessed they went and adjusted some of the sleepers that all the other big babies in here sleep in to fit over my massive diaper ass then ding ding ding! winner winner chicken dinner. Picture me, a man known as a murder god..and in a blue full body fuzzy care bear style with a white tummy and 'har har' the grumpy bear symbol on the belly. Fucking thing even has a hood! I swear if it wasn't for the fact the thing was soooo soft and kinda comfy, I would of found a way to rip it off. and I don't care WHAT daddy claims, I only dropped right off to sleep in it because he drugged my milk, not because I felt warm and safe. Fuck this place!! I never thought I'd be semi ok with the stupid paw patrol t-shirt and my giga diapers on display.. anyways wrapping this up, apparently I'm having more fucking visitors today. fucking yay..

Week 2, Day 3

Oh my fucking god. yesterday would just NOT fucking stop. apparently it was some sort of official visitors day or some bull shit like that. 4 fucking visitors and three of them not fucking Deku who's trying to make it a point to show up every day as support. first up was mister shock and awe himself Denki. He just couldn't get that stupid grin off his face and kept gushing about how cute I was and how much he wished he could of came in and given me butt pats. I was about ready to snarl that he couldn't when a couple of daddies arms came and took a firm hold on me to keep me from bolting and then the cell door opened up. "Come on in! Katsuki can use all the butt pats he can get. I know he'll act like he hates them but all little guys like him love them." Daddy said. Like, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK! So in from that stupid blond and the door shuts and daddy tells me to turn around and present my rump for pats. Like I was gonna fucking listen to THAT and turned around to tell the speaker box his voice comes from as much and well.. Ok You see my mistake? I swear I was turning to tell daddy off but according to him and Denki I turned around like a good little boy eager for my bum pats and before I could get a god damn word out that's what was happening. talk about major fucking blushing going on and gah, not proud to say this but without a second thought i spread my legs a little so that he could get a better pat going on and it MIGHTA of sorta felt nice for all of 0.0000001 seconds! Daddy and Denki are lying sacks of shit when they say i coo'ed! Basically spent the rest of Denki's visit after that over his lap, getting butt pats and back rubs and being told just how cute I am and how much he prefers me like this. if it wasn't for the fact punching a visitor would of netted me a extra year I woulda slugged him. that the only reason i went along with it..

after a hour he left and Daddy was praising me for being a super good boy and rewarded me with chocolate milk in a bottle instead of the normal formula and put some power rangers instead of paw patrol on TV. I mighta zoned out holding my bottle with both hands cuz of the mittens and chugging and watching that I didn't notice my next guest till I heard the giggle. whipping my head around and giving me one hell of a neck ache thats still kinda here, I saw what looked like a school girls outfit standing up on it's own and knew it was Tooru. "oh my gosh don't stop because of me! that was sooo cute! I wish they hadn't of taken away my cell phone i would of taken the cutest video!" she gushed and clapped. I held up both hands and because of the mittens she thought I was showing I wanted uppies but I think you know what i was really doing Diary. Of course daddy let her in too and she kept giving me heads and patting my head and asking daddy all sorts of questions about my treatment and like.. ugh. I felt like a toddler getting hugs and attention but ignored while the adults talked. she tugged me onto her lap and kept rocking me and tickling my tummy and it took me awhile to figure out what she was trying to do, she was trying to make me crap myself during her visiting time! well she left half disappointed because even though i was cramping, all i did was wet my diapers so I'll count it as a win. ...that said about 10 seconds after she left I was squatting and totally loading these stupid diapers to the brim.

Thankfully for what tiny bit of pride I've managed to hold onto, while my diaper change took what fucking seemed like forever, I was re-diapered and daddy was in the process of tossing the stinky one when my next guest arrive. because I'm Mr. fucking popular. It was Deku of course and because he's been here so often he's got a special pass that just lets him come in. He was in the middle of saying hi when his nose wrinkled and then he covered it and coughed a little . "oh, somebody just had a diapie change I uh..smell." he said sheepishly. "Oh yeah, little guy is living up to his label as a super pooper." Daddy said. "oh my god freaking stop calling me that!" I whined and uh..Maybe didn't help with trying to give off a big boy image because I was still on the changing table and grabbed a stuffed bear and put it over my face. "oh my gosh, CUTE!" Deku squealed and daddy was laughing. Like..fuck. it's bad enough when the shit they're making me do gets that reaction..then i fucking set myself up for it. getting off of the changing Table me and Deku did our normal catch up and I once again begged him to try and get the other kids in 1-a to stop coming here, telling him about Denki and Tooru. the green haired bastard just told me everyone missed me and wanted to make sure I was doing ok and not to be such a grumpy Gus. I swear I almost took the extra year right then and there. Instead I switched the convo to talking about what was going on at school and what I had missed and yeah.. it was kinda nice catching up a little bit. I hadn't dared asked till now worried it might just trigger a fit that was going to add time on you know? and Deku was nice, not rubbing it in or at least trying not to that they were going on bigger and more exciting field trips and shadowing full on heroes this week. I think it helped that while we talked I started to color in one of the coloring books Daddy provided and Deku joined in, though his picture was colored in a lot better then mine cuz well he has full use of his hands. As his time ran out and it was time for him to go, Deku made me blush like crazy when he asked if he could have the picture I colored to hang up on his wall and asked if I'd color more pretty pictures for him. being at a lost of words, I just nodded my head.

After Deku left daddy said it was time for a quick lunch and then a nap, I was clearly worn out and had one more person to go. I just sighed and went along with it because it's not like I would of really had a say in it anyways. again apparently my behavior for the day was having a effect on my dining choice because while I was put in the same high chair I normally was, instead of yucky baby food I got some cut up chicken nuggets and fries. I wonder how good I'll have to be to score a medium rare steak? anyways, after lunch and a burping I was put down for a nap and woke up to the sound of the door to my nursery prison. I was still groggy and stuff so when I rolled over and looked up to see the face of my mother, i just thought I was dreaming for a second and gave a tiny giggle and ugghhh.. say "hi Mommy." it wasn't till she broke out laughing I realized she was really there. She was..very amused to say the least and told me she had canceled the cruise she was on and flew back home as soon as she could when she'd found out the news. she mentioned that she had been made aware that there WAS a option to give me a form of parole in that I could go and move back in with her for the term of my sentence and she could let me get away with just pull ups and she had been thinking about exercising it..Until she fucking saw me in here and saw how 'natural' I looked like a big baby! I'm...I'm not proud to say I mighta of broken down bawling and begging her to let me come home with her, and ugh.. as I got more hysterical I ended up promising to be the bestest little boy ever. Mom just hushed me and picked me out of the crib I'd been in and hugged me to her chest, patting my squishy bottom (Hey, all the milk i had before going night night, you'd of wet yourself too!) I realize i never covered this before but i had been put down for my nap in just my diapers so there's THAT fun mental picture of me in my booties and mitts and soggy huggies and Mom cuddling me and trying to calm me down. I was bawling and hiccuping when she popped a paci in my mouth and sat down on a rocking chair that daddy provided and with me curled up in her lap rocked back and forth talking about how I had just proven this place was doing wonders for me and then started to ask daddy questions about where to get supplies. curled up close to mommy and hearing her heartbeat.. I..Fell back asleep.

Thankfully no ones coming today, not even Deku since he's busy..I just don't know if I could handle it after yesterday. and yeah, the rest of the day after I fell asleep in mom's lap was just a blur. fuck.. I need to get out of here.

Week 2, Day 6

Know I ignored you for a bit there kinda Diary, I went to write in you but just came out all mixed up and crossed it out. I've mostly docile since Mom's visit and uh..kinda sorta.. I dunno. Kinda wish Deku would come by. I know he's got that big shadowing All might thing going on but..Fuck. I dunno. Daddy keeps going on about me almost hitting a critical point in the program and I don't know about that..I just..I almost wish mom HADN'T of told me about how i could of been at home you know? I was struggling with this before finding that out. I'm spending the day in my sleeper t'day, I just wanna feel all..I don't fucking know.. small and safe? and that helps with it and daddy was more then understanding when I asked to. It just has to come off when I'm eating and stuff and well, semi gone back to the baby food but still getting milk milk. and the baby food is a yummy flavor at least. I dunno Diary, I think thats it for today. Katsuki out.

Week 3, Day 5

Man, looking back on the past couple of entries I did between here and last week and even I can't make out what the heck I wrote. guess a semi recap is in order. Midoriya ended up visiting me during supper on day six of last week and asked if I had any more pretty pictures for him. I hadn't thought I'd actually done any but I guess in the semi daze I'd been in I had and daddy brought them out for him. I told him about mommy visiting and he was really sympathetic and agrees that she shouldn't of told me about the possible parole if I wasn't gonna get it, He had known but well.. knowing my mom like he does had already figured out what she'd picked. He just didn't wanna get my hopes up. Daddy let him take over feeding me and I dunno..it was kinda nice and stuff. we watched a bit of TV after till I started farting lots and Midoriya tactfully left before I ended up going poopies in front of him saying he knew I was in a fragile place and promised to visit the next day. Day 7 was basically the normal same old same old, got out of my sleeper, breakfast and a diaper change then playing with my toys and watching tv till Midoriya showed up. He joined in on a awesome game of Teddies VS Building blocks and I was uh.. kinda giggling like a real little guy and sooo relaxed that I didn't notice something till he brought it up, wrinkling his nose. "Katsuki, did you go poo poo?" He asked. Well, of course I said no because I hadn't felt myself go but then I got a whiff of myself and god, that was sooo embarrassing!! Midoriya ended his visit early as he knows I hate being watched during a change, but told me how much of a good boy I was and that made me blush and smile. After he left and I was all nice and clean from the poopie diaper daddy didn't dress me though, it was time for a bath and a section of the wall opened up and I was led to a fair sized tub and allowed to get in myself. Daddy got me all washed up as the tub filled up and even trusted me without my booties and mittens, though with the wall having sealed up behind me there wasn't really anywhere I could run to. with me all squeaky clean he let me play in the tub for a while as there were some toy boats and a few sea monsters and it was wayyy more relaxing then the quick showers I'm used to. finally when i was all pruney daddy drained the tub and dried me off with a nice fluffy towel and got me redressed though I was mayyybe a little more relaxed then I thought from the tub cuz I took my nap early, and ended up missing a visit from Ojiro. (Daddy said the only reason he'd interrupted my other nap was cuz well, Mom is my real mom.) Is it weird I felt bad he came ALL the way here to see me and couldn't because I was a sleepy little guy? I dunno. Man.. this place is getting to me ya know? basically lather rinse repeat for the next couple of days, being fed, playing with toys, watching cartoons, and filling my diapers. getting to see Midoriya and hand out and yeahh. Yesterday Ojiro tried again and this time I was awake and heh.. he was really nice about it and told me he forgave me already when i whined out a sorry for being asleep the last time. in his own words he really should of called ahead since little guys like me are prone to impromptu naps. After that we played blocks for a little while and he just kept smiling so much and squirming about till daddy asked if he needed to use the potty. Ojiro blushed uber bad which in turn made me giggle like crazy and said no, but took off shortly after. I wonder what was up with him? I tried to ask daddy but he just patted my head and told me to color a picture for Midoriya, so I guess I'll ask him when he comes over today.

Week 3 Day 7

Midoriya just laughed when i asked him my question and still won't answer it, even after i threatened NOT to make him any more pretty pictures. Daddy and him both found my threat to be funny and cute though so I guess that's good. Denki came to see me again and was all about patting my butt again and playing peek a boo with me.. which Ok. was fun for like a little bit buttt he reallly carried it on for too long but when i said I was getting bored we swapped over to playing with stuffies till his time was up. Well ok, I played with them and told him what was going on and he just smiled and told me how creative I was and made me grin like a dork. I asked HIM about Ojiro's odd behavior before he left and he got a BIG grin on his face and said he'd be back for more details and then daddy scolded me about not sticking in other peoples affairs. I'm so confused. The next day Midoriya was here and something reallly 'brassing happened.. I had gone boom boom once again and He was going to leave..but daddy asked him if he wanted to help change me!!! I don't know who was blushing more, me or him! In any case, after Midoriya helped cleaned my butt up and daddy re-diapered me, He took off all squirmy and blushing and daddy joked about me having a effect on all the boys.. whatever THAT'S suppose to mean. Mommy is coming by later today and I hope I don't spend her whole visit sobbing again like a crybaby.. though daddy said it's ok if I do cuz it's a big part of my rehab.

Week 4 Day 1

Sooo..who's got two thumbs and ended up crying himself to a early bedtime in mommies arms yesterday? THIS guy. she came in as I was having supper and technically it was too late for her to be there but they made a exception. I was already kinda.. whinny.. when it looked like she wasn't going to show but then daddy said she could only be there for half a hour. Mommy explained that she got stuck waiting on a delivery of things she's going to need for me in the future and took over feeding me the rest of my supper while I whined and huffed that I had waited allll day on her. It wasn't till after she had given me my ba-ba in her lap and burped me I thought to ask what she had ordered. She just smiled and told me not to worry about it and to be a good little boy and kissed my forehead and I.. I totally fudged my huggies, in mommies lap. Cue meltdown and I don't even really know why..it's not like I haven't been pooping my pants for awhile now right? I don't know whether it was because I was being held, or who was holding me, or just her reaction as i did it that got to me. "Oh! Somebodies making mommy a present!" with utter delight in her voice and patting my bottom as i kept filling my pampers to the brim. I just..I just started to bawl and sob and buried my face in her shoulder and no matter how much Mommy and daddy told me it was all ok, I couldn't stop. I don't even remember going to sleep or getting a diapie change..I just woke up this morning in my crib in a soggy diaper (Yeah I've become a bed wetter, so what!) and yeahhh.. Daddy says he'll tell me who changed me, him or her when he thinks I can hear it without bawling.

Week 5 Day 5

After holding up for journal for daddy to read, he told me I need to start taking time to calm down and focus before writing, my last couple of entries were all scribbles again. he told it was very cute and brave of me to wanna share it with him though and gave me lots of awesome head pats. I guess since i didn't make sense when i originally gushed about it, i should go back over it. Just shortly after the thing with pooping my pampers in mommies lap, i just started to really like head pats and daddy took notice and has been showering me with them. just makes me all giddy and I've started to lean into them. Midoriya noticed the love of 'em took and started to give'em out! Jirou came by with Asui and it was while I was watching some Micky mouse club house and singing along. I had just went "OH TOODLES!" and heard giggles and clapping and well blushed a bit..but daddies been trying to help me embrace what a little guy I am so I forced a smile then blew a raspberry at them. told'em if they wanted to come in and visit they could, but they had to join in and help Micky out. they giggled but agreed and well for a couple of stinky girls they weren't half bad to hang out with.

They weren't as fun to hang out as Mommy when she came and visited, though I said sorry a BUNCH of times for my fit she just gave me head and butt pats and told me it was all ok. She's been twice since the stinky break down and I've managed NOT to bawl both times for the most part. I mean..i get a little teary when she has to go buttt i get it. wish she could visit more but between work and setting my room up she's been a busy bee. I asked about why she'd hafa set my room up since I always figured after this I'll be going right back to school but she just chuckled and took out the action figures she'd brought from home for me and her to play hero's and villains with. (I mean, don't get me wrong, LOVE the stuffies I have in here, and Midoriya, Denki, Kouda and Tenya have gotten me others..but action figures are sooo much easier to have do cool stuff.) Oh guess i forgot to mention a bunch of boys showed up, Kouda, Tenya, Satou, Eijirou, and ughhh.. Mineta. They showed up as a group with some presents and while 4 of them were all cool and nice.. well, one guess who was a little butt? he actually got me so worked up with his teasing I swore for the first time in ages and daddy had to wash my mouth out but he also banned him from coming back. Back to playing with mommy, it was super fun, she was the evil baddies trying to attack the peaceful stuffie village and I was the heroes saying the day and giggling as i was in just a t-shirt and my uber diapies. there was slight almost crying moment though while playing with mommy.. I went to lean forward to grab a action figure and just with like.. NO control blorted. It was loud and stinky and I guess I had the cutest look on my face. Maybe asked if I wasn't to stop playing while i finished or keep going and well..I didn't want her to be bored just sitting there watching me go blort. (Blort is a nick name for going poopie I picked up from Ojiro when he visited again, though his butt looked all puffed out and he seemed wayyy more into hugging stuffies then me. eh, go figure) Anyways, we finished up the game and I have having so much fun I MIGHTA pretended I was still blorting even after it was all out so we didn't have to pause again. I know I know, that meant sitting in my own poopie for awhile when I didn't hafa but I'm not really worried about a diaper rash or anything, they use like the best creams and powders here, and well I maybe kinda sorta like the squishy feeling.. though when i told daddy he said that's just because I haven't been able to make a big boy mess in awhile. I'm shocked my hair didn't ignite i was blushing so bad when he said that. Before you even ask diary, I waited till it was just me and daddy ta mention that.. though he hinted mommy had known I was done. He said maybe tomorrow if I'm super duper good today I can get a milking which confused me at first since I don't have boobies. thennn he explained it out and um yeah.. lots of blushies and gonna try and be on my bestest behavior.

Week 9, Day 3

Sowwy been 'noring you. dis too busy hasing fun wiff everyone. daddy said it's otay though and told me to make at least one last entry in ya. Ummm otay. Sooo Turns out dat Ojiro and Denki are now all dating and kissy face and and Denki was a wanna be daddy dom and the reason Ojiro got all squirmy and silly? he was all jelly of me and my kick butt nursery! Apparently he was gonna -GIGGLE- try and git locked up in here so he could be babied and Denki just spanked his butt RED and pampered him. He's a super good at going blort too, and when they visit we have blort offs. (Score 4-3 in mah favor) Let's see...what else....Oh! Midoriya went and got a part time job as a daycare worker and 'ppently it's at a speical daycare where big babies like Ojiro n me can go, once I get out. kinda silly since i'm gonna be a uber big boy n stuff when i git out butttt daddy is always telling me to be polite sooo i nodded. He's been helping out wiff my diapie changes when he's here and even put in a few volunteer hours here to help out. (Such a good guy!) Mommies been by A LOT more latly too and can't stop gushing bout the appent change in my attuide. she's been bringing in and taking home my action figures cuz her and daddy agreed those are toys for use only under special supervision and I kinda ended up admitting to her I like sitting in my poopies now, at least for like.. umm.. 10 minutes. She just laughed and said noted and that it worked out with one of the additions she put on my room.. whatever dat means. She still wont tell me what she's done or why I'll be going wiff her when I get out, but eh, asking too many questions is a good way to lose a milking and the way daddy does'em.. dun what dat. Ummm I fink dat's everything Diary..fanks fer helping me get though the first bit of life here n being a friend! Daddy asked me to leave you here wiff him when I get out, but he'll print a copy for me and mommy.

After half a year in baby Jail, It was a fair different Katsuki who stepped out then had gone in. and that wasn't just referring to his change in attire. His quirk had more or less been nullified over the course of his treatment via special drugs in his drinks and food though it would return if he weaned himself off of said drug. Katsuki for his part didn't seem to mind since it got him out of his baby mitts and let him use his fingers for fun stuff like finger painting. (though even the daddy AI had learned it was best to strip him to just a diaper when he was painting, the little guy liked to draw on himself and had a massive fit when daddy had washed a turtle he'd drawn on his tummy off before he could show Midoriya.) He didn't even seem to mind that he'd been released in his now familiar bulky diaper and one of his many baby tops, wearing a pair of Winnie pooh socks and sneakers and holding onto his mom's hand as he was checked out. The warden smiled and waved bye bye to him as he was signed out and Katsuki semi hide behind his mom but waved bye back and then they were heading home.

"so Um..Mommmmmy?" Katsuki asked, sitting in the back seat of mommy's car, buckled into a customized car seat just for his puffy diaper butt. "whatttty?" She asked, looking back at him via the rear view mirror and smirking. "Can you tell's me now why we're going back home and not ta school? Like..is it so I can get's my big boy clothes on?" he asked, kicking his legs ideally. "welll you've missed most of the school year as is, there's no way you'll be able to catch up. so it's been agreed that you'll just take the rest of the year off and stay with me. and Besides, you need to re-potty train buddy." his mom pointed out. "...no i don't. I can hold it." Katsuki huffed, blushing and hugging one of the stuffies he'd been able to take with him and holding it to his chest. "Katsuki..what don't good little boys do?" She asked him. "...Lie." he huffed and looked down. "and what was that you just did?" "..Lied Mommy..I sowwy.." Katsuki said and he just looked SO sad and had tears welling up. "It's ok sweetie. Mommy isn't mad. but you need to tell the truth so you can have lots and lots of head pats ok?" she said quickly. "O-Ok..I..I guess..Maybe i kinda don't have pee control anymore..but I mostly know when i hasa blort." Katsuki said. "Mhhhmmm..well we'll be keeping you in your diapies for awhile and working you back up to be kid undies for the fall unless you decide you like being mommies little guy." "pffft, wike I'll PICK ta stay like this.." he huffed and squirmed. "Well if you do..a lot of what mommies been doing while you've been in there is baby proofing the apartment and turning your room into a nursery like the one you've been in, just no daddy though." "I..wait..wut?" Katsuki asked, and squirmed. "Yup, a changing table, a crib..I got you a high chair and got a baby bouncer for you because daddy told me it's your favorite way to make big boy messes after you've blorted." She giggled. Katsuki was squirming BIG time now in the back seat, and ended up popping his paci into his mouth and sucking on it big time and hugging his stuffie to his face. "oh it's ok sweetie. Mommy knows a growing boy like you has your needs. Just make sure to get mommies help if you wanna go bouncy bouncy ok?" She asked. The poor red faced boy couldn't speak, just suckled and nodded lots. the old Katsuki would of had a bitching fit and blown his way out of the car and stormed off..but Baby Katsuki just realized maybe just because he was out of baby jail..didn't mean he wasn't still a baby. 'I'm not a jail bird anymore..this is gonna be a longggggg summer..' He thought and then sucking on his paci and the noise of the car and vibration of it, drifted off to sleep like the big baby he was.

The end

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the-recusants-sigil · 5 years ago

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Hello, hello! Thank you for the warm welcome!! <3

OK so I absolutely ADORE this idea and I love writing for these four so so much!! I couldn’t write just a couple of sentences and these turned into novel chapters, so I’m splitting your request into 4 parts. That way, I’m not just dropping a 10K word document on you asfhsfshfhsf

Here is Part 1 of your request- going numerically, that’d be Xigbar!

Thanks again for stopping by, I hope you like this one and the others to come!!

Xigbar

Words: 2388

-The mission started out simply enough. It definitely wasn't anything outlandishly difficult: just track down an overgrown Heartless, eliminate it, and report back. Absolutely no big deal.

-Except it WAS a big fuckin deal. There he was, wandering the Land of Dragons in the dead of winter, on the edge of hypothermia and certainly not thinking straight. Perhaps he was no longer capable of feeling emotions, but frostbite was another story entirely. He knew better than to RTC without finishing a mission, so here he was,in the dark, trudging through waist-deep dnowdrifts on a fucking mountain to find this stupid thing.

-Xigbar had been walking since he arrived that morning. In fact, he'd started out in a slightly warmer climate miles away at this point, and he'd briefly pondered taking off his jacket to cool off a bit despite the risks. Now, his teeth chattered violently and he wished with every fiber of his being for a fire. Just a small one, to warm his toes and keep his fingers firmly attached.

-In the faint light of the half-moon, he caught sight of something that stopped him dead in his tracks: a single, enormous footprint.

-Squinting into the darkness, he peered ahead and made out another, and another, heading up the mountain towards a small cluster of coniferous trees up ahead. Ah, shit. More walking.

-Before he could take a single step, a low, rumbling growl came from behind him. The Freeshooter turned, slowly, to face the biggest fucking Heartless he'd ever seen in his life.

-Glistening fangs, beady yellow eyes, twisted horns and inky black scales covered the thing. If he had to guess, Xigbar figured the thing was at least twelve feet tall and built like a tank.

-As he discovered, it was fast, too- even its eyes, glowing bright in the darkness, were impossible to track as the thing closed the distance between the two. It swiped at him with claws like kitchen knives and put him on the defensive immediately. No doubt, the beast had his number; at every point he warped to, it was waiting with jaws wide open, ready to crunch down. It batted him around, tossing him in the air and catching him in its jaws once it had its fun.

-Between the cold and the brutal sneak-attack, Xigbar found his energy fading fast. He raised his only free hand and squeezed his eye shut, focusing the last of his energy on getting somewhere, anywhere, safe.

-......

-....................

-Look, all you were trying to do was keep your head down and out of trouble. There were a lot of vibrant characters in San Fransisco, but all you cared about was doing well at your job and enjoying your ground floor studio apartment. Affordable housing of any kind was a rare luxury in the city, and you'd struck gold with a landlady who just wanted a good, responsible, quiet tenant. For her, you checked all the boxes.

-You certainly weren't looking to get involved with anyone else. Not platonically, not romantically, not even as roommates.

-And yet, here was this man leaned against your trashcan in the alley, bleeding everywhere and groaning. Despite the summer heat, he was dressed way up in a long black trenchcoat (torn to tatters though it was), trousers, knee length boots, and gloves.

-What was his deal?

-You'd never seen a dying person before. OK, so maybe he wasn’t dying. But as it was, if anyone else were to witness him in the alley, in front of your place, bleeding out with only you around, they might assume it was you who did it. Your brain short-circuited and, unable to fully think through the situation, you dragged the man inside your apartment and slid the patio door closed.

-So there you were, panicking inside your studio with an unconscious dying dude bleeding out on the floor. What would your landlord say? Would you ever get your deposit back for damaging the green shag carpet?

-At the very least, you figured you could ask him some questions when he woke up and help him contact the cops, in case he'd lost his phone. In the meantime, you put on a pot of coffee and watched the man sleep, contemplating his features. He was handsome, with nicely tanned skin and long, dark hair shot through with streaks of brown. A deep scar ran the length of one cheek, and the opposite eye was covered with an eyepatch. He sort of looked like an anime convention escapee, you thought, but then again, folks in the city proper were often just like this.

-”Ugghhh....” the man stirred gently, and you jumped. The single remaining eye fluttered open, and you were struck by the color: bright yellow, like your little Volkswagen Beetle parked outside. He glanced around slowly at first before sitting bolt-upright and grimacing. Perhaps he forgot about his injuries.

-”Uh... are you okay?” you asked dumbly. His head whipped around to meet you, and the intensity of his glare instantly made you feel... small.

-”Yeah, definitely, just dandy,” he grunted and waved flippantly in your direction. Steadying himself against the wall, he tried and failed to rise to his feet. The man raised a mangled hand into the air in front of him, ever so briefly, then sighed and let it drop to his side. “Can you... can you maybe tell me where exactly I am?”

-”Uh, I mean- it's, uh. My apartment. San Fransisco? California? Planet Earth?” You licked your lips and sighed. “I found you in the alley. Did you get hit by a car?”

-”Car? What are you talking about? I don’t know what any of that means. I need to get home. I need to get out of here and report back- OWWWW!” Xigbar yelped as his second failed attempt at standing brought him closer to the ground.

-”No. I don't think so, Mister. You might have a concussion.”At that point, you'd already folded the spare futon down from its hiding spot in the wall and tossed down some spare pillows and blankets.

-“That means lots of rest. I thought they were worse, but your cuts don't actually look horrible. Let's get you cleaned up and laying down, then maybe we can get you an urgent care appointment to look at your head.”

-”No. No doctors.”

-”You religious, or scared or something?”

-”Er- yeah. Somethin' like that.”

-.............

-Xigbar really knew he should have RTC'd as soon as he was able to stand. He should have reported back a week ago. Yet here he was, truly a stranger in a strange land, crashing on this good Samaritan's couch, eating good food, and- for the first time in a really long time- relaxing.

-For him, some peroxide, butterfly bandages and ibuprofen were the trifecta- his wounds cleaned up nicely and the pain was definitely more bearable.

-You called out of work for the week shortly after he woke up, feeding them a line about your brother-in-law dying or some shit; you didn't have one, of course, but nobody had to know that. He told you his name was Xigbar, and that's really all you knew. The dude was tight-lipped to say the least.

-Xigbar went with you on every trip you took. At first, he was pretty wary of your little yellow Bug, but he warmed up to it pretty quickly- at least, until you dumped the clutch and stalled on a hill for the first time. He jumped like he thought the thing was trying to kill him, and you couldn't help but laugh.

-He went with you on trips to the grocery store. You showed him your favorite restaurant (and taught him how to talk to the server like a person rather than a barmaid). He sat next to you on the sofa as you pointed angrily at the TV and complained about some goings-on in your world. He helped you uncork a cheap bottle of Trader Joe's wine, then another, and another, and you ended up talking shit about your coworkers. For you, it was the guy who followed you all over the office and wouldn't leave you alone for anything. Xigbar offered to punch him as a show of gratitude, but you assured him that no, it was really okay, the guy was just a little weird.

-On the other hand, Xigbar's work stories were different. You surmised that his office was comprised entirely of... er, vibrant characters. Like, for instance, the one that ditched work every single day by hanging out in the break room right next to his manager. There was also the “gambling addict in denial”- according to Xigbar- who had, just a few weeks ago, literally swindled the pants off of a man in a bar. And there was the one who could, and would, electrocute and stab anyone and everyone for the slightest of infractions.

-”Uh, dude. Have you talked to HR?”

-”...What's an 'HR'?”

-”Human Resources, duh!” you sighed dramatically.

-The loud, barking laugh that followed told you that he had not, in fact, talked to HR.

-.........................

-Six days had passed since you'd found Xigbar bleeding all over everything in your alley. Since then he'd improved dramatically, and when you could tell he was feeling well enough to stand on his feet, you decided that his seventh day with you would be devoted to seeing as many tourist attractions as possible together. The guy didn't have any memories, he told you, so you wanted to help him “start fresh” with as many happy ones as possible.

-This was, of course, a total lie: Xigbar remembered everything in his life, he liked to think, with the exception of how he got here. He was totally content to live the lie and continue following you around.

-In just a few days, something about you had grown on him. He couldn't quite place it, but it was something about your smile, your ripostes after his witty comments, the way your hair fell over your face when you slept, your tendency to rant and rave and scream at the endless city traffic... he didn't know what to do. For the first time in a long time, he was at a loss.

-You took him absolutely everywhere you could think of: a boat tour of the bay, a cable car ride up Telegraph Hill, a brief stop for brunch at a local bistro, gift store browsing, and finally a walk across the Golden Gate Bridge to watch the sun set. The roads were more peaceful than they normally were, even for a Sunday evening. Perfect, you thought.

-If Xigbar had a heart it would have been racing: being near him made his mind do backflips and twist itself into knots. He enjoyed being there, but more than he liked the sight of the setting sun, he loved the wind in your hair and the glimmer of joy in your eyes. Those beautiful eyes.... God dammit.

-”Hey, let's take a picture!”

-”Huh??”

-Before he could stop you, you'd produced your phone from your pocket and turned on the camera.

-You held the phone in front of the two of you, snapping a seies of pictures, and drew it close to examine. In all of them, Xigbar smiled even wider than you had- genuinely, not his usual, wolfish grin.

-He has such a nice smile, you thought.

-He peeked over your shoulder at the picture, too, and felt his chest tighten in a way he'd nearly forgotten.

-.......

-After that, Xigbar knew it was time for him to head back. Xemnas would surely drill him about his whereabouts. Xigbar thought it odd that he hadn't seen so much as a single Shadow in his time here. Even if the world was really as bad as you said it was, he supposed that a world yet untouched by darkness must have some kind of hope.

-The minute you got home, you printed out two copies of the picture of the two of you on glossy photo paper, each picture small enough to fit inside a wallet. He took it gratefully from you and turned it over in his hands, the tightness in his chest creeping back.

-”This has been a really great time. Thanks for takin' such great care of me. You really got a knack for it,” he started. Suddenly your chest, too, felt heavy. “But I really oughta get back to my life. Boss Man's gotta be wonderin' about me by now, ya know? Same with yours.”

-”Yeah... I guess so,” you sighed. It had been nice having him around, despite the rocky beginning. Your eyes swept over his lithe figure and settled on his face- angular, ruggedly handsome, and watching you intently for a follow-up to your response.

-”I'm actually going to miss you,” you admitted. “Who's gonna sass me for running stop signs and stalling on hills? Or talk shit about my coworkers with me? I hope I get to see you again. Please don't be a stranger.”

-He reached forward, fingertips brushing over your face, and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You didn't brush him off when he laced his fingers through your hair, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you grabbed his coat and pulled him in as close as you could.

-He drew away sooner than you would have liked. Than you would have both liked, really.

-”I'll make a point to stop back by, 'kay?” he assured you. With a sad smile, he lifted a hand and was surrounded by wisps of inky black and purple smoke. Just like that, he was gone.

-”W-what?” Wide-eyed, heart racing, you glanced around your apartment and resisted the urge to scream.

-”What the FUCK was that?!”

-.................

-As soon as Xigbar was back within the walls of the castle, he realized he'd fucked up.

-”Aww, shit!” There was no way she hadn’t seen the corridor of darkness, and there wasn’t really a good way to explain it, either.

-Mortified, and more than a little tired, he reached into his pocket and checked to make sure the picture was still there. Xemnas could wait until tomorrow; he'd sleep on his little snafu and figure out what to say the next time he visited you.

#considermeafriend #kh imagine #xigbar x reader #xigbar #organization xiii #kh x reader #i accidentally posted this on my main and had to reformat it all asfkasfhs

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qhostqizmo · 5 years ago

Text

I can’t Bear to keep this secret

I’m still not good at titling. Ya’ll have to live with me like this. I’m sorry.

- - - - - - - - - - -

The event played beneath his eyelids every time he closed them to rest. A menacing beast towering above; maw spread wide to reveal large teeth and a bellowing roar he could feel in his bones. It was a sight that didn’t give him nightmares, up until recently.

Where the bear had bitten him and drawn blood, he’d been able to pass off as a swipe from its claws. It was healed before anyone had a chance to inspect what had truly caused the wound.

He was ashamed, and frightened. Maybe a little of himself; as he felt the curse of the werebear weigh heavily with each passing day in his veins, but mostly, of them. These traveling companions he called friends were more then just his allies at the end of the day. They were family. Each one had slowly become, on some strange quirky level, someone he trusted. How often had he been given these privileges? What were the odds anyone else would accept him as he was; with what he had done to his step-brother, with all his broken pieces and strange dark secrets.

If he hurt a single hair on their heads, he’d never be able to forgive himself. But if they turned away from him… The thought made his insides quiver. He would have nothing. Nothing.

He bit his tongue, jostled by the wagon ride to open his eyes once again and banish the sight of glowing eyes descending upon him and sinking into the flesh of his shoulder. He reached up to grasp at it; a ghostly pain there but not there.

“Are you alright, m’lord? Do you need some of your ointment rubbed on your shoulder?”

Amon cleared his throat roughly as he gazed to the woman sitting beside him. She wore her bleeding heart of concern open on her chest, and in the furrow of her brow as her worried eyes gazed him over.

“I’m fine,” he reassured her. He dropped his hand. Truly, he felt much better, at least, for the moment. He was centered by the gravity of her eyes; the sun pulling him back into orbit.

Although Essätha didn’t appear entirely convinced, she smiled at him warmly just the same. Her hand stretched across to lay upon his as a sign of reassurance. Her touch left a trail of tingling awareness in its wake. Although she made no sign to remove her hand, he turned his over greedily to take hold of hers. He was going to need all the strength he could get tonight, and maybe it was selfish, but if he could imprint as much of the puzzled but soft look in her gaze upon him, or the smell of lavender on her hair, or the softness of her touch in his mind, maybe he’d be okay.

“We made great time, it looks like the campsite’s just ahead,” Sulhadur called out to the back in a chipper voice.

“Glad we made it before sundown,” Adela sighed, swishing her tail idly back and forth as she joked, “I’d hate to be ambushed by any wolves.”

The nobleman had to suppress a grimace. He too was grateful they made it before sundown, and prayed Adela’s jest wasn’t a bad omen for an entirely different creature: the one residing inside him.

As the wagon jerked and fumbled down the short lane to the camping site, K’varr finally took its beady-eyed glaring off of him to take to the sky, screeching. He didn’t blame the bird’s distrust; it’s instincts were likely more keen then anyone else on the cart. The only animal companion who didn’t seem to shy away from him still was Caesar, who rested their head protectively upon his knee and hefted a large and imposing yawn with gaping jaws and all as they finally came to a halt.

“Pile out!” Ravamora shrieked, eagerly leaping off the side and into the grass.

“I’d like to get up, really I would, but I can no longer feel my legs,” Penimra announced, glancing up towards Abe as he dismounted from the front. “Abbbeeee-”

“Manners, Master Penimra, ladies first,” the Paladin spiritedly replied, offering out a hand to aid Adela out of the back first.

Caesar whimpered as Amon gently pat his head, the mastiff rising to his paws to look over at him. Although the great dog’s face was usually droopy in expression, he appeared extra saggy around his eyes as though deeply worried. He offered a great huff, and hobbled over to jump from the back with ease, waiting patiently for him to step out.

Amon climbed out the back and offered his hand to Essie, who wobbled and almost fell into his arms on the way out. He offered her a crooked smile and a blush she returned, trying to ignore the way Abernathy had stopped to watch them with his own beaming grin.

“I’ll start the fire!” Pri’cha chirped with their usually pleasant demeanor. They didn’t wait for anyone to respond before scurrying over around the edges of the wilds to collect firewood.

“We’ll get to work on building the tents,” Abe grunted, pointing to Sul as the Dragonborn offered a nod. “Penimra, why don’t you go with Adela to refill the waterskins; I can hear the stream some yards down that way.”

“Ugghhh why are you giving me work?”

“You can otherwise join Rava, who seems to be doing a fine job picking from the berry bushes we saw up on the road.”

“… Waterskins it is.”

“Mmm, guess that leaves us as the unpacking crew,” Essie remarked as she nudged him.

He offered her a strained smile. His skin was growing itchy and uncomfortable, and he was growing all too aware of the emptiness in his stomach. The sun still had a few hours before it hit the horizon, but with each passing minute his focus seemed to erratically jump.

As the group parted into their pairs to begin setting up for the evening, the nobleman found it a bit easier then even normal to lift and parade around all their goods to the security of the tents and trees to keep away from the wildlife and, well… bears. After unloading much of the cart by himself far before the two paladins had even began working on the second tent, he excused Essie to join Pri’cha in setting up dinner.

It didn’t take long before the wafting aromas of supper was filling the air. His stomach growled furiously, and with each sound Caesar whined and scampered helplessly around his feet.

While the rest of them chatted and exchanged jokes, Amon kept his hands busy. They felt small and clumsy, for some reason. He tied some of the luggage up into the safety of the branches, and added everyone’s things into their preferred sleeping areas. While the roast of meat and potatoes crackled on the iron skillet over the flames, he forced himself to gather firewood and avoid the conversation. Or more importantly, avoid diving his hands into the coals themselves to feast, and feed the bear inside of him.

“Amon!” Abe called out, appeared baffled as they all joined along the edges of the fire. “Come, join us. Dinner’s almost ready.”

Swallowing the puddle of drool sitting on his tongue, the nobleman obediently lumbered his way over to take a seat near Essätha.

The food smelt heavenly. Even his faithful canine and Adela’s bird forgot to glower and stare at him, sensing the predator beneath his skin. Sitting in a pool of sauce with mushrooms and a glistening of meat fats, the potatoes perfectly fork-tender and piles of warmed breads loaves piled along the edges to soak up the greasy gravy. There as some cheese sliced, and a pan of green beans with onions and crushed up nuts. Rava’s berries collection had made it into a beat-up looking serving bowl, with sprigs of mint they’d scrounged up. What appeared to be some sort of attempt at a bread-pudding, but clearly a bit overcooked, sat near it for the berries to be served atop.

“You burned desert,” the wood-elf sniffed.

“I couldn’t watch all of it,” Essie defended, filling one of the tin plates with food. “I was busy moving the beans from being directly over the fire.”

“You should have let those burn.”

“Well, you won’t be getting desert anyway unless you eat all your vegetables,” Abernathy reminded her with a twinkle in his eye.

“No thanks, I won’t be wanting burned sweet-bread anyway.”

“Ungrateful,” Essätha mumbled, shaking her head. She turned a smile up to the nobleman, offering him the plate she’d filled. “Hungry?”

Amon swallowed. Their words had all been a muffled haze to him, staring at the mouth-watering spread.

“I could eat.”

She snickered, helping to ladle out some of the gravy upon Pri’cha’s dish. “Hopefully it’s not too overcooked for you, m’lord.”

Still steaming from the heat of the raging fire, Amon stabbed his fork into the juicy piece of meat. It was tender, and flaked into pieces. He shoved it into his mouth; the searing heat burning his tongue but the staring monster inside rumbling with encouragement.

Tears in his eyes from the heat, he shamefully gorged himself on another bite while everyone was still settling into their spots and blowing on their food.

Measuring how fast he ate was an obstacle. He tried to sneak one spoonful here, and another there when everyone was too preoccupied and leaning into each other laughing and chatting to notice him. If not for Essätha’s vigilance, he wasn’t even sure if he’d have the thought of mind to feed Caesar as distracted as he was. She filled the bowl carved with his name so no one would mistakenly eat from it up with some of the meat, and some dried jerky for him to dig into.

Amon was disgusted with his jealousy. The dog got to dive right in, make a mess, and woof his food down without any comment. But his stomach gurgled and demanded more. He could not rip into his meal with a voracious appetite no; he was a man, and not an animal. At least… that’s what he tried to remind himself.

Groaning, bellies full, everyone began to lounge back with ease. Ravamora leaned forward just enough to peer over the skillets and pans with interest, declaring with a color of shock in her tone, “Wow. No leftovers.”

“Guess some of you will be up early finding food for breakfast,” Penimra declared. “I’d prefer some eggs, I think. And bacon, if you’d like to get started setting up traps for a hog.”

“Shut up Pen, or we’ll cook your goose,” Adela threatened.

The group burst into a barking jolly of laughter. Only Amon remained silent, itching at his flesh and thinking of how badly still his chest gnawed and ache with hunger.

“I’ll be taking first watch!” Abe called out eagerly. “Who’ll join me?”

“I will!” Pri’cha elected, raising two of their arms with a delicate wave.

“I guess I’ll be taking second,” Sul reported.

As they delegated among themselves who would be taking watch for the evening, the nobleman clutched at his chest. There was an ache in his lungs. His mouth felt weird; like his teeth were too large for his jaw. As he shifted, he was certain he felt one of his cuspid teeth graze his tongue. Definitely sharper.

A soft voice cleared their throat beside him. “M’lord, it’s growing dark. Would you like to turn in for the night with me?”

He grunted, running his hand over his face. Quickly, he tried to hide it, horrified to see thicker hair peering out from beneath his cuff.

“I’ll join you in a bit,” he answered, feeling a growling vibration in the back of his throat. “I’m not feeling that great.”

The same cloud of concern hung over her once more, and stole the light from her eyes. “Is there anything I can do, or get you?”

Amon nearly groaned beneath her delicate touch, but swallowed it. He wasn’t sure if that was a reaction was from the bear, or from him.

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured her, patting her hand. “I think I just need a bit of fresh air. Give me a moment to cool off and freshen up in the river.”

He took hold of her hand then, and removed it from his side. It tug on his heartstrings guiltily to glimpse her face at that last second. She looked surprised, and worried, and a little hurt as he placed her hand back on her knee. He slipped his cloak off his shoulders and folded it over once to place on the worn logging beside her as he stepped away.

Slipping past Sulhadur as he moved in to occupy his tent, and Adela and Rava as they went to organize their things and get changed, Amon slipped past the trees down the slightly overgrown path that lead in the direction of the river. The sound of water lapping grew louder and louder as he moved down a gradual embankment, careful not to tread any poison oak strewn about. The last of the branches and bushes parted way to reveal a small grassy bank, and the currents of the stream sluggishly moving and winding out of sight.

Sighing, he looked to the sky. Sure enough, the moon was rising, and the last rays of light had left only stains of red and orange fading out as the brightest starts began to bloom.

His limbs were shaking uncontrollably as Amon wrestled with his jerkin. He dropped on the ground hastily, and began to pull the hem of his tunic up. A groan echoed in the back of his throat, feeling a flare like fire in his aching joints ignite.

He snapped his belt out of the loops, perspiration dripping from his chest, his temples, his forehead. Amon gasped, dropping to his knees. He didn’t untie his boots, but helplessly and forcefully shoved them off. The cool, springy grass or cool breeze coming off the water did nothing to lower his body temperature, which felt like it was rising to inferno levels.

Collapsing, exhausted, he writhed. He gasped. He clutched at his chest, panting.

With a hideous snap, his spine cracked and popped. What cry he had was stuck in his throat as he flipped and turned; eyes rolling back in his head as he shut them. The pain was agonizing, immeasurable. He didn’t know where he was, who he was, what he was.

A carpeting of fur began to rapidly grow upon his chest. The nobleman clawed at the dirt, shocked to see that indeed instead of finding grassroots beneath his fingernails, he had elongated claws. He gasped for air once more, his back arching, his joints creaking like doorhinges, his jaw popping as it shifted unnaturally.

When he opened his eyes again, the world had taken on more hues of gray then color, but he could still smell the flora shampoo in Essie’s hair even from out here.

He lunged, trying to stand up, and his still-morphing legs fell out from beneath him, making the beast he had become cry out.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear… what?”

“That noise,” Essätha whispered, staring out into the forest.

“What did you think you hear?” Adela inquired, suppressing a yawn to the best of her ability.

“I don’t know how to describe it… a groan?” she helplessly explained. Her hand moved over her chest, feeling an unmistakable longing. But to what?

Grunting, Abernathy pushed himself to his knees and set aside the honing stone he’d been using on his axe. “There are many things in the woods, Essätha. You’re bound to hear something out there.”

Her burning gaze rounded on the half-orc. “M’lord’s out there, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“And he’s a capable man,” the elder paladin reminded her gently, readjusting his grip on the large weapon. “But you’re right, we should go check on him. Being near a water source, there’s bound to be plenty of creatures wanting to quench their thirst.”

Relieved, she hopped up from her seat to scamper towards the pathway. Her eyes darted back and forth impatiently, waiting for Abernathy to round up some of the others from the tent. In the end, not wanting to leave their gear open to wildlife or other roadside travelers, he elected on himself, Sulhadur, and Adela to join the one member of the party who would unquestionably be scouting out for the nobleman.

“Are the lot of you ready?” she inquired, her voice testy.

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Essie,” Adela scolded. “Let Sul get his sword and shield from his tent.

She huffed, folding her arms. Busy glowering, and pouting, she didn’t notice Caesar come padding over until the dog was nosing her side, whimpering. Her gaze flickered down to those big, soft brown eyes pleading up at her, and his paw extending to lightly brush the bottom of her slacks as he lamented.

She rubbed the dog’s ears, but he remained looking positively depressed. “It’s okay Caesar, I’ll be right back with dad.”

“Arrrrwuff,” he responded, circling her to point down the lush covered path.

“No. You’re staying here. We need someone responsible to look after camp.”

Another whimper. The mastiff tucked their tail low and went to circle anxiously around the camp, like he wasn’t sure what to do and couldn’t sit still.

“What’s wrong with Caesar?” Sul rumbled, puffing smoke out of his nostrils as he joined her.

“I don’t know,” she murmured, “but I have a bad feeling about it.”

“Alright! Everyone’s ready,” Abe burst in happily, strutting over with a gleaming smile and his spike-bracers wrapped around his arms.

Sulhadur exchanged a look with her, questioning, but she shook her head. She’d rather not think about why the dog was acting up, while shoving vines out of her way and ducking below tree limbs to maneuver through the woodlands. Adela let out a quiet curse as she stumbled over some roots tangling up from the forest floor. Overhead, the sound of a crow; quite possibly K’varr themselves stretching their wings, let out a horrendous screeching.

Nerves weary, Essie slid down the embankment first. Her boot caught on something, nearly hurtling her to ground before she caught herself. She turned back to warn the others of whatever she’d nearly fallen over, and stared.

One of Amon’s boots.

Sulhadur came next, followed by Abernathy who was helping Adela down the slope.

“Amon!” Abe called out, brushing a few leaves from his clothes.

“Uh… Abe.” Adela visibly swallowed, pointing a finger towards the bank.

Following the Tiefling’s digit, Essie’s eyes rounded. They all hurried over, nearly tripping over each other in a rush.

“Those are Amon’s trousers,” Abe grimly reported, rubbing his beard.

“They’re torn nearly to shreds,” Sulhadur observed, softly.

No. No no no, this wasn’t happening. This wasn’t real. Her breathing became more shallow and a vague lightheadedness swam over her as her eyes jerked and danced across the pool of water moving downstream, its surface glistening with the full moon’s brilliant glow.

A series of grunts and growls had everyone whipping their head towards the right. Fumbling along the bushes, a disoriented looking bear clamored loudly through the edges of undergrowth. It turned towards them, letting out a soft, almost cooing whine.

“Sulhadur, check the riverbank and water for evidence of Amon,” Torm’s follower directed, his orc-teeth bare at the bear in a challenge.

“Oh my gods,” Essie whispered, appalled. Her head was churning; her legs were shaking. She looked at the dirt; unable to distinguish anything.

As the grizzly backed the remaining distance out of shrubs, Abernathy charged. The bear somehow managed to fumble out of the way of the first swing, where the sharpened blade struck a tree instead. It backed up, nearly into the water, before turning towards them.

Pulling her arm back, Adela howled the words of her ancestors, and sent a spiraling ball of fire at the creature. It sprang into the edge of the water, splashing water everywhere to avoid the embers that hurdled past it. The chuffing sound it created wasn’t one of fury, but one of fear.

There was no blood on the ground. No blood and in fact, no signs of a struggle. The grass was clean from signs of a fight; no smears from boots straining to stand firm, no sticks used to fend off the animal, not even mud along the banks like the nobleman may have tried fleeing into the depths. Even the trees seemed unscathed from conflict, when surely anyone would have tried climbing or escaping by weaving through the growth.

She looked to Sulhadur, scanning the riverbank, treading knee-deep through some of its lapping tide. He kept looking back at them all with confusion and worry that he was not initiating an attack.

Essätha turned to look at the bear. Its gaze, whipping from Adela to her, locked on to her eyes. Breathing heavily, it regarded with wide, intelligent eyes.

She narrowed her own suspiciously. There was something unnervingly familiar about the way it looked at her. As it moved, the bands of light and shadow across its pelt revealed hues of black among the russet and brown of its fur color.

Abernathy charged, shouting. With a startled bellow, the monster launched itself from the water and jerkily dove from left to right as if to avoid the carpenter. But no matter its tactic, it was too large and unsteady on its paws; not nearly agile enough to avoid Abe’s axe a second time.

The blade struck the beast’s side, and it screamed.

“… Oh, Jubata,” Essie prayed aloud in horror.

As Adela began to weave a pattern into the air, Essätha ran by and shoved her. The other sorceress shrieked, falling sideways and splashing into the water.

“Abernathy, stop!”

The paladin raised his axe, preparing to swing a second time as the bear staggered.

“No!”

He brought the blade around in a wide arc just as she darted between him, and the werebear.

Abe pulled the weapon in, terror in his eyes. The edge clipped through her cape, tearing through fabric loudly.

With a suddenness, the beady eyes of the bear seemed to lose focus. It nearly shoved Essätha over as it leaned over her, opening its jaws to show its teeth all the way to the gumline, and roared at Abernathy. The sound was like thunder crashing down from the heavens.

“Stop! Stop stop stop stop,” Essie insisted, gasping as she spread her arms out between the two. The bear, disgruntled, sluggishly stepped back. It turned its head, trying to reach the gash at its side to lick.

Abernathy, mouth agape and breathing heavily, glared at her.

“Essätha, I could have killed yo-”

“That’s not a bear!”

“… Essie. Dear Essie. Sweetheart. I think you’re in shock.”

“That’s. Not. A. Bear,” she gritted out, jutting out a finger to point at what was, obviously, a large grizzly. “That’s Amon.”

“Are you crazy?!” Adela coughed, clinging on to Sulhadur as he helped her out of the water. “You just pushed me in water to protect the bear that probably sent Amon’s body down the river. Or what remains of it.”

“Adela, there’s no reason to get nasty.”

“I’m not crazy!” she insisted, trying to bury that horrifying image Adela conjured beneath six feet of mental dirt. She turned fully towards the bear, circling itself like a dog trying to catch its tail, only to desperately try lapping at the wound in its side.

“This is Amon! Look, there’s no blood on the ground; not even claw marks or a scuffle.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Exactly!” she exasperated back at the Tiefling. Heaving a deep breath, Essie stepped closer to the werebear, causing it to freeze; eyes piercing at her and tongue hanging part of the way out.

“Twenty-two days ago, we fought a rogue werebear, banished from its tribe,” she recalled aloud, taking a step towards the bear. It rumbled, taking an uneasy step back as she continued pressing forward on foot and in speech, “We unfortunately had to kill the man, but not before he changed into his bear counter-part form. M’lord had said that he was fine; that only the claws had grazed him, but… I don’t think that’s the case.”

“Look at him,” she pleaded, sidestepping around the creature. It had silenced its rumbling and watched her as she slipped off her torn cape. She balled it up, gingerly pressing the material to the bear’s wound.

It groaned in agony, shaking its head.

“Shhhh,” Essie soothed. Pressing her weight into one hand to keep the material in place, she reached out to stroke the mane of fur along his head. The werebear closed its eyes into half-slits, much like a content cat.

“The fur has black mixed in with it. His eyes are smart. He didn’t even want to fight any of us; he tried to avoid confrontation. He didn’t hurt anyone, because only he was here. Only the trousers are torn up, and there’s no gore; his jerkin is lying over there, as are his boots, perfectly intact. And look at the moon, it’s full tonight!”

“The werebear must have bitten him,” she concluded. “A wild bear wouldn’t let me this close.”

“Those are all… wild stretches, Essie,” Abernathy hoarsely whispered, staring at the twinkling eyes of the bear.

She snorted. “If anyone knows a thing or two about keeping a part of yourself a secret; especially something like this, I think I’d know. I’m asking for you to trust me and to just… look.”

Offering a soft smile, she combed her fingers down the werebear’s spine. He huffed in response, turning to snuffle his nose against her hair, the nape of her neck, her ear. She tried not to laugh at the cool, damp nose against her skin, keeping a firm, steady hand to their bloody side.

Abe was the first to approach. Slowly, he placed his axe upon the ground and grew closer.

The bear turned to regard him. It shrank back, lowering its head.

“… Amon,” he whispered cautiously. “… My boy is that… really you?”

The bear snorted quietly.

“I am so, terribly sorry,” he muttered hoarsely. Reaching up, Abe placed his hand lightly upon Amon’s shoulder.

A stream of white-light emitted from his palm, and upon the fuzzy hair of the bear. Amon groaned, and the wound shimmered with a faint, pulsing light as it closed upon itself and healed over.

Relieved, Essätha reached for his face. Startled, Amon huffed as she grabbed hair from behind his ears, looking him in the eye.

“We are going to have words, m’lord,” she scolded. “Why on Earth would you keep such a secret from us, from me? Have you any idea what could have happened if one of us didn’t find out? Or if someone else found you?” Her voice cracked at the end, wavering as her lip did for a moment.

He whined, lowering his face. His head brushed hers, but what was meant to be expressed as a tender affection instead smothered her face in hair that left her sneezing and a few hairs on her lip.

“Gross, I got bear-hair on my tongue.”

“Urrnf,” Amon grunted, offended.

“I’ll gather his things,” Sulhadur cut in softly. “Now that we know what’s going on, and no one’s in danger, I guess we can go back to camp.”

“And get in fresh clothes,” Adela grumbled, passing a look towards Essie.

Abe placed a large hand on Essätha’s shoulder, making her jump. There was a knowing, warm light in his eyes, but also one of remorse.

“Thank Torm for your perception skills, Essie. I’m sorry I doubted you. I should have trusted you’d be able to see through Amon, no matter his form, with such ease.”

The blood in her face instantly grew hot. She swallowed, unable to do more then nod. She felt numb and unable to create a sentence, even if she tried.

“And Amon,” he turned towards the werebear. “I am truly, unbelievably sorry. I would have never struck you if I had realized, and known the story. I would never have unintentionally caused you harm.”

The bear bobbed its bulky head to the best of his ability, blinking.

Torn with regret, the paladin bowed deeply towards Amon. He still appeared deeply upset, the weight of his shoulders sagging and his face fallen as he dragged his feet over to Sulhadur and Adela, who were picking up Amon’s boots near the route back to camp.

Essie glanced back to Amon. He looked back at her, and tilted his head.

“Nu-uh. Not even cute bear eyes are getting you out of thisss,” she warned him in a hiss. “You’ve no idea how scared I was- I thought… For a minute I thought…”

She worried her lower lip.

“Rrrrr,” Amon attempted, pitifully, to apologize in a rolling rumble deep in his chest. He stepped closer, rubbing his head against her side.

Sniffling, the Yuan-Ti wiped at her eyes. “Let’s just get back to camp for now. We’ll talk about the rest when you have the chance to defend yourself.”

Whining, the nobleman plodded after her as they headed after the others. They made their way up the gradual slope without much difficulty, although Essie felt her face grow embarrassingly hot when a bear snout helped push her back to help her get up the last few feet. Amon lumbered nervously behind them, lingering wearily in the shadows to let them go ahead. It was an opportunity for them to explain the strange events they’d uncover, and for the others to absorb the information before Essätha waved him to join them from hiding.

Slowly, Amon’s bear-form lumbered into camp.

“Oh,” Penimra murmured, “I always thought Amon was more of an otter.”

Essätha swatted him on the arm.

“Cool,” Rava stated in her usual go-with-the-flow tone. “If we put Amon and Essie together now, we have a really cruddy druid.”

“Shut up, Rava.”

“I was just saying.”

“Krrrr, you look very soft, Lord Anon,” Pri’cha encouraged, dipping their head respectfully.

This time, a smile tugged at Essie’s lips. “Regal, as always.”

Amon shuffled in place as though he was… embarrassed?

Essie cleared her throat. “I’m going to respectfully ask everyone to go about their usual business now. It can be a bit… overwhelming, for people to be staring at you when you’re… not in your usual flesh,” she offered. “Let’s give m’lord some peace and space.”

There were a few grumbles from a few of the more curious, but they all begrudgingly began to slip back off to what they had been doing. Questions could wait another day or two.

Essätha turned, smirking to see Caesar circling beneath and around his master. He whimpered, nosing at the werebear’s fur and sniffing every inch of him. When Amon lowered their head, inspecting his companion, Caesar wagged his tail, albeit a bit nervously, and licked the nobleman on the snout.

“Phhu!” Amon sneezed, shaking his head.

She snickered, shaking her head.

As the evening waned a little further, everyone finally stopped gawking as openly at the bear sitting far from the campfire, and began to head into their tents. Essätha disappeared into the one she shared with Amon, hearing his distant and quiet coo of sorrow. She returned, carrying three blankets.

The first, and largest, he watched as she threw out over the ground. She pointed at him, then upon it. He looked at her for a minute, grumbled at her in some bear-ish gibberish that she could probably was him telling her to stop fussing, and circled the spot. He flopped down, huffing.

Caesar, eager, bounded over with his tail wagging enthusiastically. He pressed himself against Amon’s side, rolling around and groaning with pleasure.

Giggling, Essie snapped open another blanket over Amon. It barely draped over a quarter of his size. He looked from the blanket, to her.

“I’m trying.”

He breathed out, slowly. Closing his eyes, Amon nuzzled his face against the side of her head.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and squeezed gently. A rumble moved through him, and he sighed.

Taking the final blanket, she wrapped herself in a cocoon, and laid against the free side of the bear not taken by the overexcited canine.

Amon turned to nudge her. He looked to their tent, and then looked back to her. It was hard to describe a bear’s face as looking ‘stern’, but that was the impression she was getting.

“Nu-uh, I’m staying right here with you,” she defended. “I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

Huff.

“Consider it part of your punishment,” she grumbled, rolling up into a ball. She rubbed her cheek against his plush fur. He was quite comfy.

Amon tried to shift and push her off three times, each time ending in failure. He huffed, looking to the tent and back to her. She blatantly ignored him, closing her eyes and waiting for him to give up so she could get some sleep.

With finality, Amon snorted at her, and rather loudly sprawled out to lay his head down, defeated.

Essätha patted his side, cuddling up against him. “Goodnight, m’lord Amon.”

“Arrrgg,” he acknowledged with begrudging acceptance.

She drifted off slowly, vaguely aware at some point that his eyes were upon her. It gave her the same feeling it always did, that of safety, of warm happiness, and of peace.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Essätha woke up, blinking in the early morning light. She shifted, wincing at the creak in her spine, and turned over.

She was… on the ground?

Snoring greeted her. A wide grin spread across her face at the habitual morning ritual of the sound, and she forced her aching muscles to guide her in sitting up.

Sprawled out on his back, Amon lay snoring.

A slow, reddening color rose to her cheeks.

Rising clumsily to her feet, Essie stumbled over to the nearest tent. The residents inside groaned as she pulled back the flap.

“Ssssulhadur,” she hissed. “Get up. Come help me with something.”

“Nnng… right now?”

“Yesss, right now!”

“Alright alright, I’m coming I’m… getting up.”

She allowed the flap to fall and waited, tapping her boot on the ground. After a few seconds, the Dragonborn slipped out.

“What d’you need?” he yawned, revealing a mouth filled with razor-sharp teeth.

She pointed over to where the nobleman lay, Caesar still asleep at his side, also upon his back.

“Could you please pick up m’lord Amon, and help get him to our tent?”

Sul blinked. “Ah. I can do that.”

“Thank you.”

The Dragonborn shuffled over, and scooped the nobleman up from the ground. Caesar gave a gruff good morning bark, and Amon’s head lulled, slurring drowsily.

“Wha’s goin’ on?”

“Relax, m’lord. We’re just getting you to our tent.”

Running ahead of Sulhadur, Essie parted the sides of the tent for him to duck into. It was darker in here. The Dragonborn deposited him gently to the ground. As Sul stepped out, yawning yet again, Caesar came crowding inside to flop himself down near Amon’s feet.

“Nnng… Essätha?” Amon groaned. He flinched, resting a hand against his side, where the red faded line from where the axe had struck him lay.

“Shhhh,” she whispered, sitting down beside him. “I’m right here.”

He grunted, growing still and quiet. She hummed to him leisurely, combing her fingers through his locks.

“… You’re not yelling at me,” he rasped, his eyes closed.

“I’m not going to yell at you. But we will be having words, when you’re fully awake, fed, and feeling a bit better.”

He grunted, prying his eyes open. The nobleman tried to shift.

Swiftly, her cheeks bright pink, Essie sprawled her hands out over his chest, stalling him.

“I-I don’t think so,” she stammered. “You’re q-quite nude beneath that blanket.”

The tired half-mast of Amon’s eyes grew wide and round. He looked down at the material draped over him, and wrapped it a bit more tightly around his waist.

With a cheesy, half smile, Essätha joked, “Once is a peek, twice is a show.”

To her surprise, Amon’s face grew equally red. He cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably against the bedroll beneath him. It was little protection from the cold, hard ground beneath.

“Lay back for now, and get some rest,” she reassured him in a compelling, adoring voice, lightly pressing a hand to his chest. He obeyed, looking from where her hand touched him up to her face. The light of the sun was beginning to lighten the top of their tent, piercing through with just the right angles of faded shafts.

He breathed in and out raggedly.

“Are you… feeling alright?”

“Yes,” he strained, reaching up to hold her hand. “I-… I mean in some ways, I am.”

She smiled at him, puzzled. Allowing him to hold one hand, she slowly laid down beside the nobleman, reaching over to continue combing through his hair.

“This alright with you?”

“Yes.” He sounded breathless. He closed his eyes, immersed in the experience. A shiver passed over him.

“… You know you could have told us,” she murmured. “You could have told me. I would have kept your secret. I could have tried to help you.”

“… I’m sorry,” he rasped quietly. He opened his mouth to continue.

“Tsssh. Nevermind; not right now. It can wait. Forget I said anything. Rest right now. Yesterday was… a lot to take in, I’m sure. Just rest right now.”

“Okay,” he grumbled, not sounding too thrilled with the idea. He curled his hand over hers, cradling it over his heart as he breathed, in and out, slowly and deeply.

She continued threading her fingers through his hair, looking upon his facial features. He looked tired; the circles a bit darker beneath his eyes, but he also looked positively peaceful.

Leaning in closer, she rested her hair against his side. Amon’s arm wound around her, rubbing her side.

A tug on her heartstrings.

She sighed gratefully, curling in to his open side, allowing her eyes to close.

She had utterly no idea the nobleman cracked his eyes open to stare down at her, a loving glow in his gaze. Positively clueless that the longer he stared, the more he wished he could pull her into a full embrace and kiss those inviting soft lips.

But this tender moment would do just fine; his hand rubbing circles along her side, and their intertwined fingers resting to his chest as she caressed his scalp.

#qhost story #Essatha Meduza #Amon Illiad #OTP: Essamon #softly written #ft: Noisy Bastards #Werebearmon AU #It gets its own tag now Ammy!

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