#I need another coffee to digest and process this tbh
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I need to ask.
Because waking up and reading this news just make my blood boil.
MAGAs. YOU BLOODY JOLTERHEADS.
When you voted for Trump because he was going to "help to the economy", you also voted for this?
For this FLAPDOODLE to start invading around the world???
No, because, I am sorry, and I speaking as a European, WHAT IN THE ACTUAL BLOODY FUCK?
Keep your bloody idiot of a large mouth of a joke of a soon-to-be First Lady within your borders because, believe me, no one in a 40 light-year radius wants this fucker to even *breathe* in their direction.
Like, you MAGA voted him because you wanted him to focus on "Americans First", right?
THEN WHY IS HE GOING AROUND BLABBERING ABOUT ANNEXING CANADA, PANAMA AND GREENLAND?
WHY IS HE NOT FOCUSING ON Y'ALL AND YOUR ECONOMY?
Also, just for clarity, all this questions I am asking are purely rethoric and provocatory on my part. I already know the answer, I knew it already while following the elections and whatnot.
But I truly want to know how these people who voted for him will spin this. How they will justify this.
How this is going to "Make America Great Again".(swear to the gods, I honestly snorted out loud even just typing this).
Between him and Leroy Muskratt, who spends his days poking his stupid bulldog face in other countries' governments, I honestly had my fill of waking up each fucking day to news of these two, because the ones that voted for First Lady Trump cannot fucking see farther than their noses.
When I say that when it comes to the US elections, the entire WORLD should have a say in it, I mean it.
OH, IF I MEAN IT.
Also, this goes without saying, but let me make it clear anyway: this is not directed to my American friends who didn't vote for this fucking joke of an asshole. If this fucker will go through with any of the delirancies he is spouting, we will all be in the same boat, and my heart still goes out to you all because all the bullshits he is going to approve of will impact you first, and for that, I am immensely sorry.
To the others, instead: well, I hope you are happy with what you voted. If he brings the rest of the world in shamble because of this, this is on YOU.
#Nemo rants#Nemo vents#I am honestly so furious#so furious#I need another coffee to digest and process this tbh#I can't#Russia on one side of Europe#now we need to worry about the US too?????#jfc I am so tired of all of this#who the fuck does he think he is???#that man is unstable#We got another Nero here#And I have 0 will to see Rome burn again#I will delete this later on because I don't want to see his stupid orange face on my dash when I look for my stuff#but I needed to let out this#I don't care if people unfollow me for this
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the volleyball shorts
pairing: jungkook x y/n
wordcount: 5k
glimpse: coach koo’s just dying to know what his present is, you’re panicking because you can’t think of a present, and jimin and the gang tolerate jungkook a little bit better because it’s his special day :D // contains smut + gif isn’t mine!!
notes: happy birthday jungkook!!! i baked brownies irl for you u should come over sometime!!!
if you’ve read most valuable, the piece that started it all, then you knOw what i’m alluding to with jungkook and his relationship with y/n’s volleyball shorts!!
you swear,,
you could even really SWEAR on the brand-new refrigerator that you need to knock twice on to see what it contained that you split the price with jimin
and forcibly with also jungkook because he stays over so much at yours and jimin’s place that he’s basically a roommate now
and alsO forcibly with taehyung and yoongi because apparently your apartment is now everyone’s gathering place and they raid and inhale ur fridge atleast 72 times per day that the electricity bill’s gone up
that yesterday, it was just a month away from jungkook’s birthday!! you swear!!
and two hours ago, it was two weeks away!!
AND NOW
you can’t really digest the truth
that it’s just f i v e days away now
and you have zero thoughts to how you’re gonna throw jungkook his birthday bash :D
the guys probably figured that out too lol because they have an idea to how you’d be all over the place for even something miniscule
like one time you and jimin bought two rugs you couldn’t decide upon then you just agreed that you’d fit it underneath the coffee table and whichever looks ugly, you’ll return it later
but then the two rugs ended up being too pretty that you couldn’t decide nOW
and jupiter barked out of the blue and it was a eureka moment because :D aHA jimin what if we just let jupiter pick out the rug?? then that way it’s fair???
but then jupiter ended up lying on bOTH the rugs and now you were distraught
jimin was reassuring you like eH it’s okay let’s just go about our days and not spend y’know :D all our time trying to figure out what to pick :D
and then you obviously refused and you stayed up the whole night picking a goddamn rug and jimin was so close to toppling over in fear when he went to grab water at three in the morning
anyways
that’s why they’re here!!! even before you could call and gather them up when jungkook had to leave by himself to settle some things because he’s the coach,,
even before you could text tae and yoongi to take the elevator, they’re already knocking at your door
“...”
“......”
everyone’s just looking at each other in this makeshift circle you’re all in around the coffee table
even jupiter’s stopped barking and he’s been barking for the past five minutes at the new cactus succulent that jimin bought!!!
they’re waiting
waiting for that —
“I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO FOR JUNGKOOK I’M SUCH A BAD GIRLFRIEND A-AND-“
aha
meltdown
“not to stir the pot, but jungkook always zones out at practice and even during games then gIGGLES to himself!! and when i ask him why, he says that he’s just thinking about what you’re getting him for his birthday!!”
jimin shudders at that too because whew
like he knew that koo sometimes talks to inanimate objects but man his superior (albeit younger) is out here imagining his birthday present in the middle of a neck-and-neck game
he’s conversing with himself like he’s talking to you and that just makes him speechless
“kook buddy i haven’t played volleyball competitively in like two years but i sUGGEST you focus or else i will spike you haha jk but no really ahaha :))”
“not to stir the pot too, but jungkook asked me to play happy birthday. on the snare. happy birthday. ON THE SNARE.”
this time, it’s taehyung’s turn to shudder
because he got a new head that’s louder and more tear-resistant and he wanted to try it out ok
and what better way to try that than when it’s in one of your practice games??
he has his drumsticks already lifted but then out of nowhere jungkook pOps out with a cheeky grin on his face and tae almost pokes him in the eye
“how many syllables are your name, tae?”
“... are you really asking me this?”
“yeah!! how many?”
“... three, jungkook. what, do you need ME to count yOUR syllables for you??”
oh my god that is such a stupid question
but it’s coming from jungkook so lmao tae isn’t all that surprised
“what’s three plus twenty?”
“i get that you’re an athlete but don’t you kNOW how to count???”
“hyung what’s three plus twenty??”
“... twenty-three....”
tae’s so close to narrowing his eyes because if this is another one of jungkook’s lame pranks then he’s gonna whack him in the head for this
but then all of a sudden jungkook jUMPS and squeals before clapping his hands
“twenty-three days before my birthday!! quick quick play happy birthday for me nOW :D”
that’s so... chilling
“now not to stir the pot even further, but y/n,,, baby,,, why didn’t you brainstorm earlier??”
yoongi goes straight-in for the kill and it’s his version of “i told you so” but that does not make it better whatsoever
that’s the thing you don’t know either!!!!
and it’s totally your fault and you shouldn’t have been complacent because now you’re paying the repercussions of cramming AND panic-sweating!!!
it’s okay!
you got this! :D
“how about some more black shirts??” tae pitches in and it’s a resounding no from you and the assistant coach
“jungkook has enough of those,, even jimin and i can take a dozen from his stash and it won’t even make a dent!!”
jimin’s racking his brain and he hasn’t thought about something this hard but ok fine anything for you
“new chunky shoes?? but uGH he already has too many of those-“ that makes him groan even harder because buying another pair for kook means him tripping over them
not to mention that the shoe rack is now taken over by jungkook atleast 50%
and once again jimin reiterates <3 this is the y/n and jimin apartment and nOT the y/n and jimin and this dude that dOESN’T pay rent apartment
yoongi’s in deep thought as everyone around him throws ideas around
okay dOn’t tell anyone but yoongi’s now getting into bullet-journaling :D
tae just gave him a dotted notebook one day because he accidentally bought a dozen instead of one from amazon so lol here hyung u like writing right???
by writing, yoongi meant scribbling haphazardly and waking up the next day and trying to decipher his own handwriting
but then he came over to your apartment and you bought pastel highlighters because they were on sale and nOT because you needed them and you wanted to try them out!!! but jungkook was sick that time and you needed to make soup :((
“yeah ok leave it to me,, i’ll swatch it for you or something.,.,.”
one thing led to another and :D AHA
yoongi blackmailed everyone to not say a single word to anyone that he now loves bullet-journaling and he had to whack tae one time when he kept teasing him
also he now has a bujo account on instagram and it’s nearing 5k followers omg and he will d-word when someone irl finds out that it’s him
“boxers.”
yoongi says seriously and it makes everyone shut up because he sounded sO sure
he just has this certain authorative aura around him that you wavered because oH right yes boxers,,, will buy,,,, thank you
lol but you snapped out of it
“jungkook already has too many boxers!! he likes basketball shorts more nowadays and-“
“what? who said the boxers were for jungkook??” yoongi scrunches his nose at your ridiculous reply
your eyes are squinted so hard as you try to decipher the flow of thoughts of everyone in this circle
“oh. i want boxers. want them for christmas!! take note, y/n.”
oh
okay
cool
good news: you now know what you’re gonna give to yoongi on christmas
bad news: you dON’T know what to give to your boyfriend on his birthday five days from now
there’s something somewhere in the middle of all the banter that you’ve tuned out though
something that just makes your eyes bulge and hit whoever’s lap is beside you repeatedly (first of all it’s jimin’s for the record and second oW THAT HURTS) with a grin on your face before you hurriedly stand up and they equally as hurriedly do after
“i know what to get!!”
jungkook’s stArting to get antsy if he’s being honest
it’s not because he’s in his own apartment with you after so long he’s stayed over at yours
he really doesn’t mind that bit, no
jimin, tae, and yoongi were all staying over at your apartment instead as they make the last bit of preparations for jungkook’s birthday the next day!!
they all insisted that you rest because you’ve been so frantic the last couple of days and tbh even taehyung hyped of tWO cups of coffee can’t keep up
no — jungkook’s so antsy because he doesn’t know what you have in store for him :((
for the last five days you haven’t touched him nor did you let him touch you :((
a heated makeover that’s cut too short is as far as it could only go and he’s just so????
like is that a part of your birthday surprise or nOT
he has a love-hate relationship with surprises now because first of all,,,
he kNOWS that there’s gonna be a surprise and that excites him
but the worst of it all is that he knows there’s a surprise but he doesn’t know what it is
that’s like uhm
standing fifty feet away and being forced to pick between a lifetime supply of sugar and salt that’s placed into jars but u don’t know which is which
that is such an odd example to compare it to but that’s only what jungkook could process this now oKAY
you still let jungkook cuddle you so he guesses he could still touch you
he could rest his hand on your tummy!!!
but riGht when he’s about to sneak in a lil squeeze at your boob over your shirt then that’s when you slap his hand away and he frowns
just some hOURS left and it’s finally his birthday!!! he’ll just nuzzle to your neck and all would be fine :)
the lil party’s gonna be thrown in jungkook’s apartment anyways because as you’ve all come to known:
his apartment’s bigger than the one you and jimin share and that irks him because!!!
“yOU have the bigger and better aprtment why are you still cramping at ours???”
“i like staying with you guys!!!”
“nO you like staying with y/n and i come in handy when you need to steal someone’s pasta from!! i bought you tupperware and wrote your name on it but you still eat from mINE!!”
now everyone has their designated roles
jimin’s in charge of making the lasagna and he takes great pride in arranging the layers neatly and not half-assing the amount of cheese
taehyung had the great idea of wAIT what if they don’t like lasagna?? (jimin was offended by that omg who wouldn’t like my lasagna are u kiddinG)
so what he did was bring over this foldable table :D lay cups of ramen neatly :D decorate jungkook’s kettle because he realized that it looks like dOlphin when you tilt it sideways :D
and it’s now tae’s ramen station and so far the party-goers are LOVING it and it’s a close tie between him n jimin
yoongi’s in charge of food that the other two didn’t bother to think about basically
you locked jungkook in his own room lmao and had to bribe him with a kiss or two to stay there and not leave until you tell him to
you’re in charge of the decoration and not to toot ur own horn or anything but you did a pretty damn good job :D
there’s foil balloons you had to blow up and decorate meticulously
lol jimin accidentally bought the wrong ones so now it’s JUNGK00K instead of JUNGKOOK
you even learned how to fold paper cranes so u could fold the quantity of them to jungkook’s age for yoongi to stick them up to the ceiling
you EVEN bought blackout curtains and a lil disco light!!! that’s how well-put you were despite cram-planning!!
it was time to let out jungkook because the guests were starting to come in
and oh my gOD jungkook does clean up well..,.. wow
he’s dressed himself in just a white button-up but with the sleeves folded and some buttons left alone
thEn it’s the same black jeans but with a fancy belt he only pulls out whenever he goes to prissy parties!!!
and oh god
oh my
it’s his slicked hair that’s showing his forehead and tHAT’S when it sinks in you that oh.,.,. right.,.. jungkook’s growing his hair out and he’s been in a cap this past week and OH
it only hits you that oh.,.. jesus christ.,.,. jungkook has a mULLET
it’s a mullet-type of situation and it’s part-straight and part-wavy and wOW
you want nothing more but to pounce on him and it makes you audibly gUlp
jungkook’s as surprised as you were of him because w-wait a second
ok you’re wearing your favorite white shirt with the print on it that you wear at home!! he isn’t surprised
but are you wearing vOLLEYBALL SHORTS.,.,..
like as in the same volleyball shorts... that he..... adores..... a-and fantasizes over
oh my god everybody shut up
is that-
is that hIS OLD VARSITY JACKET????
the one with Jeon embroidered in the back and the one he wore to death that it still has his scent on it even if you washed it clean???
.... oh
that uH that makes jungkook put a hand over his chest
god im coming up
the party was an absolute bLAST!!
you and jungkook would stray from each other time to time because you’re each whisked away to talk but you’d always find each other after
you cAn’t contain yourselves at the sight of one another
kook keeps putting his arm around your waist and you keep squeezing his forearm
over-all it was such a great party 20/10
the girls chipped in to buy their coach jungkook (u put the idea in their head and they were amazed because they didn’t think of it) a smartwatch and he was so :D upon receiving it because wOah!!! omg he’s now a smartwatch owner sUck that kim namjoon
kim wears these fancy analog watches still and that makes jungkook roll his eyes because yEa that may be a rolex but my team did obliterate yours lmaOoo what about that huh
jimin’s gift was very heartwarming no matter how much he denies it to be
first he bought jungkook matching slippers with him because he’s so irked to see jungkook in chunky sneakers aLL the time
then uhm
an official key to the apartment and a written letter that when the two of your drive back,,, you could all do a handprint at the picture frame with the four of you and that’s jupiter’s paw included
you’re not gonna lie that dID make you tear up a little bit because wow :((( jimin used to be hesitant of jungkook at first but nOw he’s officially welcoming jungkook in with no anger whatsoever
kook also did cry a lil bit and they hugged it out
taehyung hand-knitted a blanket for jungkook with lil dolphins on them
he missed some stitches but he did his best oKAY and koo was so excited because wow omg this is so good!!!
yoongi bought jungkook a guitar because yeah.,.,. u dO get into my nerves sometimes but i care for you and i guess you’re my little brother now :)) i don’t make the rules
and as for your gift
... well
everyone’s already left and it’s just the two of you now finally
jungkook’s sat at the edge of the bed patiently because you’re fishing for the paper bag you’ve hidden and he’s sO on edge alright
he’s closed his eyes and you didn’t even tell him to so he’s THAT obedient
“you can open them now,” you’re sat on jungkook’s lap and it’s quite the tease for you to be perched near to his knees instead of his crotch but oK he won’t complain yet
it’s a box??
oh
... oH
“that’s for me??”
jungkook awes immediately when he opens to box and sees shiny silver gleam right up at him
it’s the matching thick necklace and bracelet he’s been eyeing for quite some time now yet refUses to buy
and here it is!!!! right in his hands!!!
“yes and they dOn’t allow refunds so please just wear them and don’t make yourself guilty!!”
you’re taking it from his hands and he’s smiling giddily when you clasp the cool jewelry around his neck and on his wrist
cute
and now it’s time for —
“i’m sleepy. are you sleepy yet?”
you do your part in messing with jungkook as you stifle a yawn, pretending to arrange things around the room before settling near him at the edge of the bed
he almost gives himself whiplash to look at you because you can NOT be serious
“no you’re not. you aren’t sleepy. your eyes tear up when you wanna go to bed.”
it’s endearing for you that he knows thay but you just continue to deadpan for the time-being
“i do? well i think i’m tearing up now.”
jungkook scoffs and crosses his arms across his chest because nO your eyes are dry!!!! look at them!!!! not a single tear!!!!
he’s looking at you so pointedly that it makes you chuckle, finally sitting down on his lap properly like he wanted you to that it makes him grunt
jungkook hasn’t had any decent action for a week now and even the slightest contact of you sitting on him, still-clothed, already makes him cRUMBLE
the thought that you’re in your volleyball shorts doesn’t help at all
it’s nice seeing him so flustered and willed right now,, his pupils already blOwn out and you haven’t even done anything
jungkook’s beautiful and that isn’t up to debate but even more-so up close that you could hear his labored yet trembling breathing
“you wanna kiss me?”
that dOES it for him and he almost leaps at the question but that’s when you pull back to which he audibly whines
:D
you come back again but it’s you who initiates it and jungkook practically melts at the taste of your mouth, already getting handsy as he squeezes at your thighs
he’s the one who’s gaining the upper hand and that was nOT the plan so that’s why you pull away right when he’s getting drunk on you
he’s chasing after your lips and you practically tut at him condescendingly that makes him huff again
“say please.”
aHA
jungkook’s eyes widen at that and he scoffs in disbelief because oh my god so tHIS is what you’re doing
now this is what he makes you say
and you never got him to say please because whenever you urge him to he just laUGHS upfront and it makes you pout
no jungkook’s not gonna do —
his giggling’s cut short when you let your mouth wander to his neck and right on to his sweet spot, immediately sucking on it harshly to paint your mark on
there’s slow kisses on his jugular nexy and you won’t do the same as what you did to him the first time and it’s frUstrating
add on to that with how you remind him you’re still on his lap with you grinding on him tOO pain-achingly slow
ok jungkook might say please after all
you’re coming back up to his jaw again and kissing everywhere but his lips that it’s starting to make him cave
“pl-“ he stops himself because oh gOd is he yielding but that’s when you snap too smoothly right on him, the intimate yet clothed feeling of you enough to make him moan in distress
“please?”
it’s instant relief when you’re back to kissing jungkook again and he might just bURST at this point and you’ve only been kissing him
tasting your lips is his first priority and breathing’s his second that it makes you chuckle with how needy he is, having to push him off because you know he’s getting light-headed
jungkook’s regaining his breath and he still wants mORE unsurprisingly
you’re taking off his shirt and stripping off his pants that leaves him with his boxers but on the other hand, you’re sTILL fully-clothed sans the varsity jacket
he’s about to do something with that which explains his grabby hands trYing to take off your shirt
but his hands not only get slapped away again, you’re pINNING them down back to the bed
“y/n i swear-“
he’s growing restless because he needs you right here and right now but you’re just tOO stubborn and bossy which is definitely a switch of roles
you grind on him a little too roughly than you intended to but the feeling’s more than welcome because you feel so fULL already and it makes jungkook unintentionally thrust into you
your shorts are feeling more than damp and his boxers are being a little tOo tight now
that’s when you lift yourself up from his crotch and let go of his hands, your face dangerously near his as his pupils shake
jungkook’s clearly looking at your centre and he whines when you still (purposely) won’t get what he’s trying to say
he’s always clearly had a vision of eating you out in your volleyball shorts that’s for sUre
but he didn’t imagine it like this and you know what he’s not complaining his hips try to buck up but to no avail, your finger hooked underneath his chin to make him look at you again
jungkook looks sO fucked out and he knows that far
he cries like a lost puppy with how you press your thumb to his bottom lips, your other hand making soothing circles on his chest
“you want a taste?” you ask ever so gently and that makes kook nod more than eagerly, about to pull you by your thighs and his mouth’s wAtering just by thinking about it
it’s the tut you give him again that makes him succumb, throat strained as he trains his pleading eyes on you for permission
“p-please?” jungkook’s too impatient to wait for an answer as he roughly grabs you to position your clothed core right above his face, immediately pressing his nose to inhale the scent of you with his lips ghosting your already-soaked folds — something so obscene about it that it almost makes your knees buckle, “that’s a g-good boy.”
he’s rELISHING on the slip of your tongue and he wastes no times in taking off your shorts, diving in with an eager tongue that takes you off-guard
now this is the real deal
jungkook takes mUCH pleasure in giving you yours and the unhinged and dirty moans you’re giving him are egging him on further
you taste so sweet and it’s enough to make him dizzy with how you’re opened up to him and for him only
he has a death grip on your thighs because you keep twitching and on the other hand he’s cravinG for you to take everything he’s giving you
he slips his hand to thumb at your clit in desperate circles and god the countdown to when you’re gonna reach your peak becomes alarmingly too near
jungkook doesn’t stop when you’re tugging at his hair roughly or when you’re yelling out his name like a mantra
jungkook doesn’t stop either when his face from the nose down is starting to get messy with the taste of you
doesn’t stop either when he’s starting to see your eyes become glassy and your lip trembling
absolutely doesn’t stop when you snap suddenly and gush over him because in fact, he still continues with much more fervor
jungkook was messy and kept lapping up at what you were giving him that’s enough to drive you into anoTher orgasm with how sensitive you are
holy fuck
jungkook’s laughing against your neck as you’re draped over him, making flowers bloom on your neck with his tongue as he makes you catch your breath
“there’s still another gift i haven’t showed you.”
okay nOW you’re nervous
kook stops pressing kisses and your words obviously make him perk, trying to hide his fascination and excitement but that’s poorly-done with how he’s trying to hide it
“you have mORE?? think y’already gave me heaven if i’m being honest”
he wouldn’t be opposed because honestly speaking his stamina as of the moment would last him aLL night and he’s on a high just from eating you out!!
oh my god you can’t possibly fall in love more with jungkook
you’re tracing the sweat that’s going down on the necklace and it makes you go lightheaded with how perfect he looks
the imprint of his bracelet’s marked snug on your left thigh with how hard he was gripping you earlier
he’s patiently waiting and waiting on you, drumming his fingers on your thighs in anticipation
here goes nothing!!!!
you take off your shirt and aHH jungkook visibly moans at the sight of a bare you
he’s right you are the present
but nO that’s not what you’re trying to get at
jungkook has his wandering hands taken down for the nth time this week but something about this feels a bit more special and reserved
he’s a little lost when you get off from him and instead sit beside him against the pillows, still kneeling on the bed so you could be higher than how he’s sat right now
he is mORE than lost when you smile at him gently and take his hand to —
oh
oh my god
oH MY GOD
it’s a tattoo
it’s a tiny and dainty tattoo on your rib in black ink
JJK
“jjk? that’s-“
holy fucking sHIT
everybody shut up!!!
everybody pLEASE be quiet jungkook needs a moment rn
it’s his initials
in his handwriting
on your skin.
oh my god
you’ve always adored jungkook’s tattoos i mean it’s nOt a surprise for anyone
they peak from time to time but sometimes they get covered with his coach jackets and his hoodies
and it’s at home where you can see them all
there’s a little inkling in the back of your head that oOH you’ve always wanted one like what he has
what was holding you back was that maybe it would affect your career or whatever
you and jimin read the guidelines for a whole hour and it wasn’t illegal for players to have tattoos!!!
as long as it doesn’t go against the rules and it won’t hinder your play
tattoos on the wrist or in between the fingers or in the forearm were a little risky because it’s always in direct contact with how you play
jimin was all thumbs-up on your idea because he himself has a couple of tattoos and was all wOah that’s so sweet!!!
taehyung was very warm with your idea and he swears that he’ll get one soon just give him some tIME to conceptualize what would his first one be
yoongi agreed and he alsO has tattoos himself and he was the most realistic (?) out of the four of you going “well you and jungkook better not break up lol”
he thought of it more and honestly?? he doesn’t see you and jungkook breaking up because there’s just sOMETHING alright??? something so unbreakable
jimin and taehyung and yoongi made a bet when you were getting your tat cleaned up that lmao what year would jungkook propose in
it’s your first tattoo and like you didn’t want to dive in head first and have a whole sLEEVE tattooed on the first occassion ya know
so why not the one you love?
and like it’s hidden by a shirt and obviously not a LOT of people would know about it and —
oh wow
uhhhh
jungkook’s.... crying?
he loves you sO much you have no idea
you’re tasting the salt from his tears when he kisses you so tenderly but it’s okay you don’t mind
he’s the one pinning you down this time and well he used to swear that he’s nEver the one for giggly sex
but oh god look at him now
mAYBE THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE HAPPY AND ON CLOUD NINE!!!
he has your hands flat against the mattress before he holds them :D
this is jungkook’s best birthday eVER
“wanna spend all my birthdays with you.”
you instantly giggle to his neck and that tickled him a little bit okay
“you wanna marry me??”
you’re feeling everything at once and you have never grinned sO hard and laughed
jungkook rolls his eyes but that’s only because he might burst if he keeps looking at you
“well i don’t have the ring yet dummy but yEs i do want to marry you!!”
mrs. jeon!!!
wow that sounds hEAVENLY
you raise your head to whisper to his ear, leaning down for you instead so you wouldn’t strain yourself, “say please.”
“i hATE you,” jungkook cackles and it should be illegal to how warm and content he feels!!
“you love me!!” there’s a lil sing-song voice and of cOURSE he does!!
he’s so whipped for you and he might go to the ends of the earth just because you insist
“solid facts.”
“my god—“ jungkook stills, laughing at you who’s underneath him before he breaks out into a grin
a little tiny ᵏᶦˢˢ on your nose
“what was life before you?”
#wHew i needed to cram writing this in a day and i got so distracted rewatching queer eye fEEDBACK PLS AND THANK U :D#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook imagine#jungkook imagines#jungkook drabble#jungkook drabbles#jungkook oneshot#jungkook oneshots#jungkook au#jungkook smut#jungkook smut imagine#jungkook fluff#jungkook fluff imagine#jungkook fic recs#jungkook masterlist#mvp!jungkook#coach!jungkook
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Headcanons: Jim Mason as a dad (Jim Mason x fem!reader)
Word Count: 1.7k
Warnings: dad!Jim, pregnancy, drug mentions, mentions of smut, this is basically all fluff I couldn’t be mean to sweet Jimmy
A/N: I am back with more dad! content and honestly I am thriving. Anything that gives Jim the happy ending he deserves is the move. As always, send me feedback and let me know what else you wanna see!
Jim is the one that first brings up having a baby
You ditched Palos Verdes as soon as you graduated and had enough money to get an apartment
He became a completely different person, a happier person
You guys lived pretty lowkey and just minded your business tbh
Medina occasionally dropped in for a night or two, but you were alone with each other most days
Jim didn’t mind it being just the two of you, it was what he preferred actually
You’d held him through so many bad nights, and he couldn’t picture you not being with him for the rest of his life
Everything was peaceful, unlike how it was in PV with Jim’s parents and the Bay Boys
It didn’t seem possible, but spending the past several years away from the chaos made you both fall even more in love with each other
Jim felt like he had missed out on being truly happy because of the drugs, so he was making up for lost time by simply enjoying the little things in life with you
Maybe you’ve went to the beach so Jim could surf and you set up your towels next to a young family that had a small toddler with pudgy hands that looked like a spitting image of their parents
He sees how happy they are and how cute their baby is and thinks about how he could potentially have that with you one day
The little baby is so cheery and excited and Jim is obsessed
The baby runs up to you with one of their shovels and tries to scoop sand into your lap and you play along with them and help them build a sand castle
It makes Jim’s heart go SWOOSH
The way you effortlessly welcomed the baby into your care made Jim absolutely positive that you would be the best mom
When he finally builds up the nerve to talk to you about it he’s really straight forward
Tells you exactly what he wants and why
Your heart melts at his speech and you think about how far along Jim has come since overdosing on the beach so many years ago
He really wanted to be even more happy than he already was, and a baby would do that for him
It doesn’t even take any convincing on his part whatsoever
Just the idea of a mini-Jim with blue eyes running around your house made you weak
Plus, who are you to deny Jim of something you know who make both of you so content?
Jim definitely cries when he finds out you’re finally pregnant
Dad mode is immediately kicked into full gear
He doesn’t let you do hardly anything by yourself
You have to tell him to let you breathe sometimes, reminding him that you’re pregnant, not injured
He reads stories to your belly and always falls asleep in your lap at night
He wants to make sure that the baby knows his voice when they’re born
You know for a FACT he buys a newborn sized denim jacket so they can match
I think his hipster ass would also buy those little baby onsies that have band names on them too
Buys every stuffed animal in the goddamn world
For the sake of giving Jim everything he deserves, I’d say your pregnancy was relatively easy
No scares or problems really
It was Jim that endured the struggling
He thought there was no way that he would ever feel down knowing that he had a baby on the way
But he slowly grew sick to his stomach that he was going to fuck it up somehow
He was convinced that eventually he’d relapse, or his bottled up aggression would resurface
He’d fuck up his kid’s life and yours with his own problems, ruining everything
Causing you to pack up and leave, and his happy ending would fall apart
It took a lot to talk him down, but you managed
That night, you’d held him as close as your giant bump would allow and rubbed circles on his back until he fell asleep with his head buried in your hair
I picture Jim’s first born being a son, one that looks just like him
Blue eyes and chocolate brown hair
Is a super soft and gentle boy that loves being close to his mom and dad as much as possible
A son also acts as another step in Jim’s healing process to see himself in his little boy and do everything he can to make sure their life is perfect
We all know that Jim does not stop crying when he finally holds his baby for the first time
He whispers softly to them over and over that he promises that he’ll never let them be exposed to the ugliness that he had been through
Jim is obsessed with everything that has to do with his baby
His sneezes? Adorable
His little toes? The cutest
His tiny butt? Don’t even get him started
He loves taking care of him, but he really loves watching how the two of you bond
Little bubba laying on your chest while you both take a nap after a feeding? He can’t stop staring
Those are his two favorite people in the world that he’d do absolutely anything for if they asked
Jim is literally his baby’s biggest cheerleader
They learn how to hold up their head or sit up on their own or hold their bottle? He’s clapping and telling them, “Good job! I’m so proud of you!” While aggressively giving him smooches on the face
He knows they have no idea what the fuck he’s saying, but it makes the baby smile so he does it anyway
Let’s just say, Jim’s baby grows up to be a chunker
Like...a fat ass little baby with leg rolls and arm rolls and the squishiest cheeks you’ve ever seen
Jim loves to tickle their belly and do anything he possibly can to get them giggling uncontrollably
Squishy cheeks = slobbery baby that loves to put everything in his mouth
Jim’s nose, your cell phone, the corner of the coffee table, his fat little feet, the leash of Jim’s surfboard that’s propped against the wall? It’s free real estate for him to put it directly inside of his mouth
Since he’s so damn chubby, the little kid is like a portable space heater because of his rolls making him so warm
He also LOVES to cuddle with Jim
They are both Big Sleepy Boys so you can always find the two of them taking a nap together whenever they’ve gone missing in the house for a bit or their laughter had died down
His favorite spot is laying on Jim’s chest with you tucked under Jim’s arm so you can stick your hand out and he can wrap his tiny hand around your finger and conk tf out while you brush your thumb across his knuckles soothingly
Jim never wants to put him down, and you know he’s lowkey sad when his baby starts to walk and doesn’t need him to carry him around everywhere
He starts calling you ‘mama’ because he thinks it suits you and it always makes you blush
“Come here and let me love on you, mama.”
“You’re such a good mama.”
He mutters it into your neck during sex when you’re both exhausted and taking your time and it just feels so good
Let’s not waste anymore time and say that Jim is counting down the days until he can take his bubba to the beach and let him see the ocean
Knowing babies, your son probably freaks out when the tide comes up around his feet
Does the thing where he kicks his feet up while Jim is holding his hands so he can stand without falling and immediately gets scared and throws a fit
His crying makes Jim freak the fuck out because he never even considered the fact that his child of all people would hate the water
You have to tell him that he probably just didn’t like the cold and that he’d get used it eventually
And eventually that fat ass little baby does!!
He loooooves crawling around in the sand and trying to eat it
He also loves watching Jim surf
You point Jim out to him when he’s out catching a wave and clap his hands together with yours when he rides in on the shore and eventually
“Look at papa!! He did it!”
He keeps chanting, “Papa! Papa! Papa!” When Jim waves at you two from out in the water
There’s an old man that owns the ice cream shack on the beach where you guys have been going to ever since you moved there
He always told you guys that you two were the sweetest couple he’d ever seen on this beach
He also absolutely loses it whenever he sees you with your baby in tow
He’s been watching you guys grow older together and now you have a baby and he is your number one fan
He always gives you a free popsicle for the baby and squeezes his cheeks whenever you guys visit the shack
He also really loves watching how happy the baby gets when he sees the sugary treat
By the end of the afternoon the three of you are sitting on your blanket relaxing and digesting your lunch
Jim is burying your baby’s legs in the sand and savoring his little squeals as he does so
Soon he starts rubbing his eyes and you know that means he’s tired
He stands up out from the sand and crawls into Jim’s lap and wraps his arms around Jim’s neck
Jim lays back and lets him take a lil nap on his chest since he was so exhausted from chasing seagulls and dogs all day
You pack up and have a peaceful drive home, all three of you are drained by now and too tired to say anything
Jim rests his hand on the inside of your thigh and rubs his leg with his thumb absentmindedly as your son is in the backseat snuggling with his favorite stuffed monkey Jim had bought him before he was born
Once you get home, the baby immediately goes back to sleep in his crib and you and Jim collapse into the bed after a quick rinse in the shower
He buries his head in your hair and gets comfortable with his arms around your waist
Mumbles something into your ear and you ask him to speak up
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Everything.”
For staying with him, for loving him when it seemed like no one else did, for leaving PV for him, for giving him the most precious boy in the world, for making him truly happy when he didn’t think he ever could be
You give his arms a little squeeze, silently letting him know what he meant adn you both fall asleep peacefully
Imma tag the fellow dad!Jim thots I can think of and that’s it alright have a good day
@langdonsoceaneyes @thedeviltohisangel
#Jim Mason#Jim Mason x Reader#Michael Langdon#Michael Langdon x Reader#Duncan Shepherd#Duncan Shepherd x Reader#ttopv#ahs#my writing#mine
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What do you think about wslf? Is it just another trend like hclf/freelee stuff? But they say smoothies and fruit are unhealthy?
Honestly, I saw a few posts about it a couple weeks ago and had to Google what the acronym meant lol. Whole starch low fat is essentially on par with The Starch Solution by Dr. McDougall, as far as I could tell (correct me if I’m wrong).
I think the main thing is to eat in a way that feels good for you and your body. We’re all different people and we all process food differently. What works for others isn’t always perfect for someone else.
I personally feel my best eating an abundance of raw fruits and veggies along with cooked starches. I feel amazing after having my green smoothie every morning - it gives me tons of sustained energy (helped me kick my coffee/caffeine habit years ago!!), and keeps me full for awhile. It’s easily digested because it’s blended, but still contains all the fiber and nutrients, so your body gets an infusion of nutrition without expending precious digestive energy on breaking down food. The times I’ve had to eat something dense, like oatmeal, for breakfast, it leaves me bloated, sluggish, and constipated tbh, which no one could argue is “healthier” if I can’t digest it well. So if your body processes fruits well and you feel good eating it, you should definitely include them in your diet. If you have candida or another related health issue, maybe oats would be the better option for you - but don’t feel like you need to adhere to a specific dietary regimen just because someone on the Internet tells you to. You know your body best, so eat in a way that gives you sustained energy and satiation (along with proper digestion and a variety of nutrients!)
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