#I named all the pokemon after pizza ingredients this time

[pokemonratingblog]

My experience (& review of) Pokemon Crystal

As part of the entire gimmick of this page, I am replaying and ranking the pokemon games in order.

Due to my experience with pokemon mystery dungeon and also adversity to the other 2 choices, I went for the only reasonable option of Totodile. The naming scheme is pizza ingredients this time, so I named it "Pepperoni". I then did the Mr. Pokemon stuff and immediately caught a zubat, naming it "Sausage".

After some grinding I ended up in Violet City. Because of this, I trespassed into Bellsprout Tower. Zubat in hand, I sucked off a whole lot of bellsprout. Alas, I didn't have a big enough PP to suck them all off, so I had to go back to the pokemon center numerous times.

After successfully sucking off all of the bellsprout in the building, I decided to grind my zubat to lvl 12 (when it learns a move that isnt leech life) and challenge Falkner's gym. In the process of getting my zubat to a reasonable level, I also got my totodile to lvl 13, when it learns water gun. And let's just say… I didn't realize his ace was lvl 9. I won't blame the game for this because it was entirely my fault for not looking at the gym leader's levels. It was an easy win.

After that, I did the ruins of alph puzzle, saw some cool unown, and ended up back in violet city. I went through the cave, caught a geodude (who i named cheese), did the team fodder slowpoke quest, and entered the gym. Bugsy is really no different from a fodder trainer so I swept him with my geodude. Silver used a mix of good flinch rng and an unusually tanky lvl 14 zubat to give me some trouble so I ended up losing, but I won on the 2nd try.

Afterwards, I ended up in the ibex forest. which has lvl 5 pokemon. I'm once again starting to see why I hate gen 2 so much. I found a level 5 oddish and I'm willing to bring back the time honored tradition of having an oddish that knows cut. This time I'll actually use it though because this game probably won't be as easy as red and blue. I named it pineapple.

I reached goldenrod city. the home of whitney's infamous miltank that really isnt even that difficult. I went to route 35 to grind up my team to lvl 19/20. It was here my totodile evolved into croconaw. As for the whitney fight? As I said earlier, She was pretty easy. It's questionable how she has a reputation for being so difficult when all you need is anything that resists rollout/stomp (eg. any rock type) to win. I spent quite a bit wandering around aimlessly all confused before I realized I needed to talk to her again to get the badge because she's too busy crying about it. Amazing.

After obtaining the squirt bottle, I headed to route 26 to beat the shit out of a tree. I wanted to catch it but the geodude I have is already a rock type and I don't need two rock types.

I ended up in ecruteak city, one gym leader until the game truly opens up into the worst nonlinear experience of all time. I beat all 5 kimono girls because geodude is comically overpowered and shouldnt get magnitude as early as she does. Before fighting Morty, I decided to grind my team to around lvl 22-23. Why? because zubat evolves into golbat at that level and my zubat has bite to deal super effective damage. Though Morty's team consists of exclusively poison types and gen 2 was before the era of levitate, so i could probably sweep with geodude, I want to have a bit of fun with this gym.

I enter the burnt down tower in ecruteak and face my rival, silver, who I've affectionately named "Fuckwit". It was about the furthest you could get from a difficult fight because I have a golbat and he has a team that's very weak to golbat. The magnemite isnt an issue so long as I remember that I have a ground type. I then proceeded to fall and break both of my legs on the way down. I also met some cool dogs.

I enter morty's gym. It seems that he was taking notes from gen 1's gym leaders because he was a disgustingly easy fight. Literal clean sweep with golbat. Horrible gym leader. And to think that this guy is the 4th gym leader? that this guy is the halfway point for the Johto region? shameful.

Before leaving ecruteak, I got my surf HM and taught it to my croconaw for a powerful stab move (and the ability to reach the 5th gym leader, RNG god Chuck. After reaching olivine, I healed my pokemon, checked out the sick pokemon lighthouse (where my oddish evolved into gloom and geodude into graveler), and then once again began a voyage, setting sail to Chuck's RNG island for medicine and also the privilege of fighting a guy who spams hypnosis. I then had to go back to olivine city because the HMs are hidden in random ass spots in Johto. After that, I cleanly swept Chuck with my golbat, not taking a single hit of damage. This is because he did not have good rng. This gym sucked.

After my beautiful encounter with the divine goddess of luck, I fed the sick ampharos an unknown concoction and fought jasmine. Her ace was actually hard to beat. Certainly a hard fight, which is a pleasant surprise for a game as easy as this. I ended up losing the first try after her ace oneshot the only pokemon I had that was capable of taking care of a magnemite. Some lucky crit RNG made the 2nd try a breeze though.

I then proceeded to enter Mt. Mortar, AKA random encounter hell. In random encounter hell, my Golbat finally evolved into a Crobat, marking the first time i've ever used crobat in a pokemon game.

Afterwards, I entered Mahogany Town, home of the worst gym leader in Johto. A gym leader who's highest level pokemon is 4 levels lower than the previous gym leader's highest level pokemon. On my way to the lake of rage, I encountered Entei, who broke out of my balls and fled. Unfortunate but I probably wouldn't have used it anyways.

I then proceeded to the lake of rage with one goal in mind: kill the red gyarados :3. In fulfilling this goal, I have killed the red gyarados. I already have croconaw I don't need another physical water type with good all around stats. After meeting with lance, I went to the team fodder emporium to dispose of more lvl 16 zubats and grimers 6 badges into the game. Truly wonderful game design. This is actually where I dropped HGSS at when I first played it. Every time you pass a statue you have to fight 2-3 rocket grunts, each of which having about half a team of pokemon who are way lower level than they should be. Had it not been for god's gift of emulator speedup this game would be completely fucking unplayable. As much as I love lance this is easily the worst section of the game so far.

After going through team fodder hell, I was finally able to challenge the easiest gym in the game. My team has a poor matchup to ice though, with 3/4ths of them being weak to ice. This gym was actually decently difficult for me because of my team's poor matchup, but it still only took me 1 try. After the gym, my croconaw evolved into a feraligatr.

After this, I went to the ice cave. My goal? to catch a jynx. I want an ice type and I want a psychic type and I haven't used jynx before. Alas, it was nighttime so I got a sneasel instead. I don't mind using a sneasel, but the issue is that ice and dark are both special types. and sneasel has pitiful special attack. so I had to pass on both the jynx and sneasel. I still wanted a 5th team member, But I wasnt sure what I wanted.

It was at this point I realized I do not have the HM for fly. So I had to backtrack all the way to cianwood for the HM so I could teach it to my crobat.

I flew back to blackthorne only to realize I still need to defeat team rocket. Which is confusing because I thought I had already did that. But I had managed to completely miss wherever it was said that team rocket would be in the goldenrod radio tower. It's not the game's fault but I felt like I had to mention it.

I notice this random rocket executive has 6 pokemon. This is notable because no other trainer has had 6 pokemon yet, not even the gym leaders. However, the pokemon are all koffings, which is a shame. I was hoping for at least a semi-interesting fight.

I made my way to the underground area. This silver fight has 5 pokemon but one of them is a lvl 28 magnemite and another one is a sneasel. Thus, this silver fight was a major pushover. I like silver's character arc but there's been no story apart from it and a bunch of team fodder fights. This switch puzzle is unnecessarily complicated and confusing, and It's making this area feel more like a puzzle game than a pokemon game. Especially considering all the trainers in this area are terrible jokes.

I made my way to floor 3f of the radio tower to hopefully cap off the single most mind numbingly boring part of this game. I got swept by the last trainer because I got really shitty paralyze RNG because my crobat was paralyzed earlier so I had to do the fight again. Because I did the fight again I oneshot all 3 of his pokemon with my feraligatr's surf. Moving on.

I headed to Blackthorn to fight 3 dragonair clair because they couldnt bother giving the last gym leader anything interesting. The gym puzzle was one of the cooler ones, i'll admit. However, I literally just led crobat and did nothing but spam fly and won. She's literally the 8th gym leader. Why. Why couldnt they give her more pokemon. This game is mind numbingly boring so I was actually kinda hyped for this fight but ig not.

I did the dragon cave stuff and got a Dratini. I named it Anchovy. I'm starting to regret getting it because I know I'll have to grind it up to a usable level. fun.

I struggle to even figure out how to reach Kanto in the first place. I had to google it.

I reached victory road. My morale here is at 0. I just want to get to the elite 4 and get it over with because this shit sucks. I'll cover the rest of kanto in a seperate review because I'm not sure I can handle this slog too much longer. Or I wont at all. Depends on if I'm willing to give this game a second shot. But this review isn't over until I beat Lance so I'm looking forward to that.

I ran into silver in victory road. Unfortunately, this was seconds after a random graveler self destructed on my feraligatr. So I was basically going 3 pokemon against 6 here. I still won though because his team fucking sucks AYOOOO. No but seriously his team still has a golbat on it.

After an incredibly painstaking victory road grind to get my 5 pokemon to lvl 42-44, I was finally ready to challenge the elite four and champ. Will's 2nd xatu and exeggutor gave me some trouble, but he was easy apart from that. Koga was an incredibly easy fight, with a horrible team, mediocre typing, and a bunch of evasion-reliant movesets. Bruno was also incredibly easy, all his fighting types were fodder for my crobat and his onix is a very questionable choice. Karen was a very hard fight and lord knows that vileplume was utter hell to face. Also her strong pokemon weak pokemon quote is corny as hell.

The lance fight. I really, REALLY regret not having a 6th party member. This is a genuinely fun and interesting fight but my brain can't enjoy it because i'm too tired because of literally every fight before this one just being time wasting slop. It's 1 am and i've lost to lance an uncountable number of times.

Finally beat lance. Genuinely super great champion fight, like a beautiful cherry atop a mound of shit.

Here was my team:

POKEMON CRYSTAL MAIN GAME (no kanto excluding victory road/e4 & champ)

RATING: 6/10

PROS:

Great champion fight against lance

Solid early game

Lots of content

CONS:

Horrible region design

Horrible level scaling

Has multiple of the most boring sections I've ever had to deal with in a pokemon game

Horrible pokemon diversity

Easy as shit

Tons of content locked behind kanto postgame (such as evolution stones, pokemon like houndour, etc)

Genuinely just really fucking boring holy shit. I cant stress this enough. The hardest battle in this game is fighting sleep. I'd have died without emulator speedup.

[a-reviews]

Hello

To no one in particular! I felt like I needed to make an introduction to my Tumblr so here it is. I’m A:R but you can call me Andreas, which is what the A stands for in case you couldn’t tell. The R stands for Reviews which, yes, means that I will be doing reviews. Mind you, I’m not a professional reviewer, I have no expertise within the fields I will be reviewing, and I have no qualifications that could possibly make my reviews objective. These are all simple fun and me wanting to share my opinions with people :) This means it will be highly subjective reviews although I will try to be objective.

On that note, let’s talk about what I’ll be reviewing! Games, mostly since I’m a total nerd. But you might also see the occasional book, movie, food, etc. etc. review on here. But, yeah, mostly it’ll be games. If you have any suggestions as to what I should review, go ahead and send me an ask :) The same goes for if you have a question! I’ll gladly answer if it’s a reasonable question.

Don’t be shy either. If you want to talk, feel free to send me a message. I don’t know how much I’ll be on this website so I might take a while with responding. But I’ll respond eventually, promise. I would also like to mention that I’m fairly new to Tumblr. So apologies if I manage to screw something up or make a mistake. Please do point out (in a civil manner) if I do that. I won’t be angry or anything, in fact, I’d appreciate it a lot :)

A little information on me: I’m a 21-year-old guy who recently moved out of my parent's house (finally) and is working part-time at a school library in the local area. I’m a Slytherin, a Thunderbird, a Stoat, Libra, and an INFP. I’ve been a gamer since I was little and remember my first console was a Gameboy Advance which I got when I was, like, six or seven years old. Along with it came Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue team, which remains one of my all time favorite games to date, as well as Pokemon Leaf Green.

Even before that, I played a ton of Pokemon Emerald on my mum's computer (through an emulator oops) as well as the Hobbit game that came out in 2003. I also played Medal of Honor, Need For Speed Underground 2, Harry Potter 1, 2, and 3 (on a PS2 I got a few years after the Gameboy!). A bunch of others as well but those were the most prominent ones.

Later on in life I got myself Skyrim when that first came out, being the first TES game I ever played. The last few years I’ve also dug into Oblivion and Morrowind quite a bit. Skyrim is to this day still my favorite game of all time, though, close with the first PMD :) I also started playing Minecraft at an early age, something I still do to this day as sad as that might sound. I’ve sunk quite a few hours into that game.

A brief list of games I am currently playing on/off: Stardew Valley (another favorite of mine!), Minecraft, Skyrim, Dark Souls 1 and 2, and Borderlands 1 and 2. If you want to know other games I play/have played feel free to message me and talk to me about it!

As for the rest, here comes a brief overlook.

Movies: I grew up watching movies, all kinds. Even the violent ones. My parents were good about making sure I knew what the difference between the movies and reality were so they were never fussy about the rating. My dad and I would have marathons of sort where we’d pick a genre or topic and watch all the movies in that category! Disaster marathons with movies like War of the Worlds, 2012, Core, The Road, Armageddon, Independence Day, etc. etc. Or we’d watch martial arts movies with Jackie Chan and Jet Lee. Movies like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Danny the Dog, the Forbidden Kingdom, and of course, the best of the best, Kung Fu Hustle. We would also just marathon movie series like Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter or Pirates of the Caribbean. In short, I love movies and I love a lot of different movies.

Books: I’ve always adored books even if I haven’t read a whole lot. I shamefully admit that I have not read more than twenty books in my life time if you don't count the easy books you get early in your school years. But recently I have picked up reading again and I'm aiming for at least seven books read at the end of this year! So far going good with two books down and one of them being House of Leaves. When I was young I read through all the Harry Potter books, my aunt being my main supplier of those. Already in second grade I was beginning to slowly make my way through the first one. I loved the movies so why shouldn't I try for the books? My favorite book, however, is a book in a series called the Kingkiller Chronicles called the Slow Regard of Silent Things. Highly recommend it! But read the first book in the series first or you will be beyond confused, haha.

Food: I literally can't live without it. So that's why it's incredibly important to me that my food tastes good. All my life I've been very picky and fussy with what I eat and while I do indulge in some guilty ramen noodles or take-out pizza every now and then, I do demand quality in my food. That's why I'd love to try out your guys's recipes! Yes, that's right. If you have a recipe you want me to try out I would adore that! I'm allergic to just about nothing and the only thing I can't take is hot foods since my stomach is a little sensitive on that part. But mild chili, curry, normally spicy stuff in general, is fine. In fact, my favorite dish is a curry dish! It's been my favorite since I was a kid. I'm a bit picky when it comes to certain ingredients too but, believe if paired with the right thing, I can eat and enjoy anything :) So don't be shy about sending me your recipes! I love to try new foods and especially if it's a dish from a foreign place :D

Etc.: Well, I don't know what it could be yet but maybe you do? If there's something not covered in the other groups that you'd like reviewed, just send me a link or a name of the thing and I will see what I can do :) Again, no idea what it could be but you guys probably have a ton of things you'd like a second opinion on! So feel free to send over a message!

With that I think I'll finish off this little introduction/greeting thing and get started on my first review. I have yet to pick a thing but it'll most likely be something I like just to get myself started. Thank you all for reading this and I hope you'll stick around to keep reading. Have a good one!

[shrapnelstars]

Tagged by @firecat88​ !

Name: Jennifer

Nickname: Jenn, Miss Jenn, Miss Jennifer

Height: 5′3″

Nationality: American

Favourite fruit: Strawberries

Favourite season: Spring and Summer

Favourite smell: Honeysuckles

Favourite colour: Purple and black

Favourite animal: It’s a standoff between Bumblebees, Bats, and Octopi

Tea, Coffee or Hot cocoa: Tea and hot cocoa. Coffee makes me dissociate and makes my stomach upset.

Average hours of sleep: Eh, 7 or 8.

Dogs or Cats: Fish are the superior pet.

Favourite fictional character: It depends on what it is. I have favorites based on the game/ARG/series they’re from, but no “One character to rule them all”.

When was my blog created: At some point shortly before the pre-release of Pokemon Gen 6.

Number of followers: 622 people like hearing me ramble about the 80′s, Markiplier, Pokemon, chub kink, and ARG theories.

Random fact: Manufacturers mandate which of their products get marked down and when. For the most part, the individual stores don’t have a say. The list is downloaded to the price gun from the internet, and it will automatically generate and print the price that is recorded from the list when you scan the barcode. About me? People always remember me positively after they’ve met me. I have some kind of passive ability where I apparently write myself to people’s memories, like a reverse Silence.

Fave Food: Fresh pizza, fresh tacos, fresh quesadillas, fresh nachos. I have to emphasize the fresh part because we all know about the greasy, fake ingredient laden trash versions of these foods.

Fave TV Show: Regular Show, How It’s Made, The Men Who Built America (though that was a miniseries).

Fave Movie: Coraline

Fave Vine: No Vines. This is a Vine-Free zone.

Sexuality: Asexual

Gender: Female

Fave Book Series: Seven Sleepers, when it was around. Silverwing was pretty good, though I only read that and half of Brightwing. The FNaF books are pretty rockin’ so far, too. I burned through TTO without putting it down ONCE.

Fave Video Game: You can’t stop Ratchet and Clank: A Crack In Time. No brakes on the train.

Fave Subject in School: Grammar and Science

Fave Fandom: I only vouch for sub-fandoms because fandom in general is such a train wreck. Chubby McCree is a cozy, friendly little corner of the internet.

Fave Superhero: Iron Man, hands down. He’s pragmatic and gives no fucks, but he’s still trying his best to fight for the people and causes he believes in. Rocket Raccoon as well, for similar reasons. I identify with them both very heavily.

Girls or Guys: I’m more comfortable around men due to their history of being very gentle with me my whole life. Unfortunately reinforced by the fact that every abuser in my life has been a woman.

Crush: I stopped having crushes once I left high school. This isn’t a dig at anyone, it was a choice I enforced on myself after a rough situation. While difficult to enforce at first, it truly helped me out in the long run.

When’s the last time you cried?: A few days ago. For some reason, I just couldn’t carry the weight of the knowledge of how destroyed my family is that day.

Hair color: Brown

Eye Color: Brown

What should I be doing right now? Nothing. I was off today, and I have a four hour late night shift tomorrow. I’m at peace for now.

That got heavy toward the end. I’m not going to deliberately tag anyone because of that, but you can certainly play if you want to, and say I tagged you. Everyone’s welcome here.

[thesolaceoftomorrow]

Cute Couple Asks <3

THE BASICS 1. When did you both get together?  Right around middle of high school I believe. 2. Who made the first move? I do believe it was myself. 3. How long have you been a couple? Over two years <3 4. How did you first meet? School.... 5. Were you already close friends before going out as a couple? Oh, goodness no! 6. Are you/Were you ever in the same class at school? Hardly, if he even went to school that is.. 7. Are you long-distance? Not any more!!!!! :D 8. Are you in an open, regular or committed relationship? Committed. 9. Do you live together? Yes!! 10. Are you engaged? If yes, describe your proposal. If no, what ring would you like? Not yet... 11. Are you married? If yes, describe your wedding. If no, would you consider marriage? Not yet.... 12. Which one of you is older? What is the age difference?  I’m  little younger. 13. Which one of you is taller? What is the height difference? We’re similar in height. 14. Do you share any of the same hobbies/interests/passions? Some... 15. What fictional couples would you compare yourselves to? He’s my rugged Prince Charming <3 But Tophy’s more of a tarzan. 16. Sum up your relationship in 6 words or less. Opposites who mesh well. 17. Doodle a little picture of you both as a couple. 18. Describe your relationship using only emoticons. 19. Share a cute photo of you both together. ATTRACTION 20. Top 5 fav things about your partner. He’s resourceful, caring, protective, caring, Adorable 21. Your partner’s top 5 fav things about you. I’m not sure! 22. What physical traits do you find most attractive about your partner? Right now I love his haircut. But I love his muscles and his cute little cheeks and the way he blushes. He’s also got the cutest dimples. 23. What physical traits does your partner find most attractive about you? I know he liked my smile. 24. What personality traits do you find most attractive about your partner? His caring attitude. His love of his animals. 25. What personality traits does your partner find most attractive about you? My mormonnes? 26. Do you hold hands in public? Any other public displays of affection? Yep!! He doesn’t like it all the time, but we do! 27. List your top 3 turn-ons about your partner. That smile of his, his smirk, his knowing attitude 28. List your partner’s top 3 turn-ons about you. My mormon undies. 29. How would you seduce your partner? How would they seduce you? Get in the undies. 30. Innocently or not, where do you like your partner to touch you? ;) 31. Describe your partner’s eyes. Really youthful. They’ve seen things, but still have that glint of life. 32. Describe your partner’s hair. Soft, very soft and silky. Short and tossed just slightly. Neatly trimmed. CLEAN. 33. Describe your partner’s smile. Cute, especially when his teeth show. I love how his teeth are a bit off. 34. What is your partner’s voice like? Rough, rugged. 35. What is your partner’s scent like? Dirt. 36. How does your partner impress you? How do you impress them? Being so mart and outdoors like. He knows thing. And that french thing. 37. What outfit would you like to see your partner in? What would they like to see you wear?  A nice suite and all dressed up! 38. Show your fav picture of your partner that they’ve posted online. ROMANCE 39. Do you have cute pet names for each other? Moo, Tophy, Lou Lou 40. What’s one of your favourite memories as a couple? Seeing him after being away for so long. 41. Describe your favourite date so far? The Mormon Carnival we did <3 42. What’s the sweetest thing that your partner’s ever done for you? Take care of me when I was sick. 43. Do either of you get jealous? He does. 44. Is one of you protective of the other? Yes. 45. How do you both like to kiss?  Yes!! 46. How do you both like to cuddle?  I do. 47. What’s a gift that you’ve given to your partner? And one they’ve given to you? Giraffee plushes, and he gave me this cute dog that looked like my dog Badger!! 48. Are you an openly mushy couple or a reserved couple? I like to think mushy.. Lol. 49. Does one of you like to cook for the other? He can cook. I can, slightly. 50. Do you have unique ringtones/images for each other on your phones? Of course!!! 51. Have you ever had your initials written on a tree or in the sand? Yes... 52. What’s “your song”? God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You- Nsync 53. Do you own any items that are a special symbol of your relationship? Yes <3 54. What did you both do for Valentine’s Day? I couldn’t call him.... 55. Do you express your love lavishly or discreetly? Lavishly. 56. What’s the funniest thing you can remember your partner doing? Insulting one of the religious people at church. 57. Does thinking about your partner still give you butterflies? Yes 58. What’s the weirdest part of your relationship? His worms in his pockets. BEING TOGETHER 59. Fav things to do together on a rainy day? Cuddle in blankets 60. Fav things to do together on a sunny day? Pool Days 61. Got any plans together for next week? Some. 62. What’s your favourite thing to share together? Everything <3 63. What did you do for your partner’s latest birthday? What did they do for yours? I was away :( 64. Where would you like to go on holiday together? France 65. You have a whole weekend to yourselves and 500 in cash- what do you do? Lots. 66. How would you comfort your partner on a bad day? How would they comfort you? the mormon undies. 67. Where would you both get takeout together?  Pizza and Movies. 68. What’s the longest time you’ve been apart? 2 years. 69. What things remind you of your partner? What things remind them of you? Dirt. 70. Has your relationship changed at all since it first started?  He’s gotten more gentle. 71. Have you ever worked on a project together? No. 72. Have you both influenced each other in any way? I like to think he’s more gentle because of me. 73. Have either of you made sacrifices for this relationship? Yes. 74. Has you discovered anything surprising about your partner? His scary is all an act. 75. How have you both made a positive impact on each other’s lives?  I’d like to think. 76. What do you both mutually agree is the most important part of your relationship? Hm, I’m not sure EVERYDAY LIFE 77. What are the everyday things you both do to show you care about each other? Cute little kissies 78. Do you follow each other’s blogs/twitter/instagram?  Yes. 79. Is there a favourite place that you both frequently go to together? Yeah 80. What TV shows do you like to watch together? Food Network, Drama Shows. 81. How do you relax together? Cuddles 82. What sleep positions do you tend to sleep together in? Normal. 83. Do you borrow each other’s clothes or other items? Yes, I try to wear his clothes sometimes. 84. Do you ever share the bathroom together? Yes. 85. How do you both keep in touch when you’re away from each other? Yes!! 86. Do you share secrets between each other? no. 87. Do you rotate house chores or do you each have assigned chore duties? We share duties. 88. Do you remember how your partner takes their coffee/tea/bar drinks? Black,  with vodka. 89. What does your partner think of your Tumblr?  He likes it. 90. What characters do you play as together when playing multiplayer games? He’s not really into video games. COMPATABILITY 91. Are you both introverted/extroverted or opposites?  Both. 92. Who is the more dominant/submissive one?   We mix. 93. What are some major differences between you both? My faith, and his non. 94. When are you both “in your element” together? Alone. 95. Who would win in an arm-wrestling contest? Mole 96. What are each of your zodiac signs and how do they compare? 97. What are each of your MBTI types and how do they compare? 98. What are each of your Hogwarts houses and how do they compare? 99. If you were both in a dating sim, what character tropes would each of you be? 100. If you were both animals what would you be? Would you be the same animal?  he would be a giraffe, me a dog. 101. How does your partner’s wardrobe differ from yours?  Mine is cleaner. 102. Have you ever both said something at the exact same time?  yes! 103. Rate your relationship on a scale of basic vanilla (1) to extremely kinky (10) 7. 104. Mix your fav colour with your partner’s fav colour- what is the result? Brown-Blue. 105. If you were both ingredients, what would each of you be and what would be the resulting recipe? (e.g. PB & jelly sandwich)  Dirt pie, 106. Which of you would win in a Pokemon battle? Assign yourself and your partner a fitting Pokemon type (e.g. water, grass, poison etc). Are either of you super effective against the other? CONFLICT 107. What happens when you argue with each other? How do you both make up?  He cools off. 108. What’s something that your partner does that annoys you? How do you annoy them?  Worms in the pockets. 109. What are some imperfections that you love about your partner?  All of them. 110. What are some imperfections that your partner loves about you?  Hopefully all? 111. Has your partner ever accidentally hurt you? Have you accidentally hurt them? Accidentally, yes. 112. Is there anything about you that your partner just doesn’t understand?  Mormon things. 113. Is there anything about your partner that you just don’t understand?  Some of his French things. 114. When was the last time you cried about your relationship and why? On my trip, because I missed him. 115. What is something you love that your partner hates?  God. 116. What is something you hate that your partner loves? Dr. Phil. 117. When was the last time you had to apologise to your partner and why? Lying about  my coming home. 118. Do either of you get too clingy?  I don’t think so. 119. Do you have any insecurities about your relationship?  Sometimes 120. When was a time that your relationship was put to the test?  My trip. 121. What would your partner have to do to make you end the relationship? Nothing. RELATIONS 122. Does your family approve of your relationship? Not much. 123. What do your friends think of your relationship?  Confused. 124. How do you both act together around others as opposed to when you’re alone together? More conservative. 125. How did you first reveal to people that you were going out? Make out in the fall. 126. Do you think you and your partner look similar to each other? No. 127. How does your partner treat you special compared to everyone else in their life? Yes. 128. Do you both have a mutual friend group, or only separate friendship groups?  Were both just kind of both of us. 129. What’s a common misconception about your relationship? He’s not nice. 130. Has your relationship affected any of your relations with others? Possibly. 131. Has anyone tried to sabotage your relationship? Families. 132. Quote something somebody has said about your relationship. “This game needs to stop.” 133. Quote something somebody has said about your partner.” He’s not of God, Gareth.” FUTURE 134. What do you hope for the future of your relationship? A life with him. 135. If you both got married, what would you want your wedding to be like? Nice. 136. Can you imagine what your ideal home would look like? Large yard, nice fence. 137. Do you have kids/want to have kids? What would they be like? Yes. 138. If you could do anything for your partner what would you do? Give him the world. 139. Do you think you’ll still be together when you’re old and wrinkly? I hope. 140. Got any relationship advice? No.

@suckthisbaguette

[sacrasm]

okay so i usually dont dream/remember my dreams and of course last night i remember what i assume is the later half of my dream 

and of course this one is all kinds of crazy.  im still confused.  how can you put a child lock on a car so it can only go 65 mph.  what is glitterball.   this is going to haunt me for the rest of my life

dont read if you want to keep your sanity intact.   (tl;dr: i hosted the weirdest house party, cars come capped at one speed, tyler hoechlin was our responsible adult of the night, everything seemed so unrealistic but totally shit we’d do.  i think im going crazy.)

it goes like this: 

for some reason im driving this dark blue fiat but it had a child lock on the gas.  it was literally impossible for the car to go anything but 65.  not any faster, not any slower, and if you held your foot down long enough you might get to 66.  

so im driving to my grandmother’s house, and pull up in the driveway, and when i get out my dad tells me that he hired a babysitter to make sure things don’t spiral out of control.  apparently i’m throwing a house party, except the house looks like my grandmother’s, but is actually my parent’s and the inside is a weird fusion of my grandmother’s home, a friend’s home, and the valley fair mall if any of you know what that looks like.

the babysitter gave me the evil eye when i went inside, and told me that just because there were 15+ teens in the house doesnt mean we can go wild and skip bedtime.  she looked like this little crotchety old blonde lady, like the kind you’d get for a sub in highschool that just hates any and all teenagers and stress knits.

i didn’t see anyone when i actually went into the house, aside from a comically large escalator and doorways and thirty or so pizza boxes in the kitchen.  some still have pizza in them, but no one knows which boxes. my fiat was in the middle of the living room.  the babysitter had a shotgun and told me that she’d use it if we got too raunchy.  tyler hoechlin was sitting in an armchair.  he complimented my car. 

for some odd reason the halls and doorways were all the size of one car, so you could drive in the hallways.  the fiat still had the child lock, so i just drove around the hallways at 66mph until i accidentally hit someone, that turned out to be one of my friends, who was riding a horse.  somehow he was fine and uninjured, as was his horse. he refused to answer to anything except napoleon, which doesn’t make sense because that friend isn’t short.

idk how but somehow i’m in a different room, the horse is on top of my car, and all of us are trying to do as much irresponsible shit that we could get away with before getting caught by the babysitter, like drinking copious amounts of alcohol and having indoor paintball tournaments.  time is a social construct inside the house and doesn’t exist, which we’re all fine with.  

and then i drove down a hallway and then a door opened, which the car hit at 66 mph and the door stayed intact.  two of my crushes were sitting in someone’s bedroom, which i guess was mine bc a ton of my shit was in there. they were playing a weird cards against humanity and truth or dare fusion game, that also included pokemon cards.  hoechlin is doing vertical pushups on my bed while simultaneously playing the strange card game.  he’s not doing so good. i went back out into the hallway and my best friend had a rainbow donkey pinata that was as tall as her shoulder.  we both couldve fit in it.  she told me that it was filled with the world’s greatest chocolate, but she refused to open it because she didn’t want to ruin the donkey.  irl that friend loves chocolate.  her boyfriend was following her around the house/mansion trying to convince her to just smash the paper mache donkey already.

i got back in the car, a different best friend was in the fiat with me.  she liked throwing smokebombs out the window at anyone she saw.  somehow she got her hands on a t-shirt cannon and shot confetti in people’s faces despite never leaving the car.  someone bet that i couldn’t kick a hole through a refrigerator. they lost the bet.  everyone was suddenly betting that i couldn’t kick through anything.  i could kick through anything as long as i was wearing my necklace.  my necklace gave me power.

all the tvs in the house only played the sports channel, which had this game going on 24/7 called glitterball.  it looked like football meets ice hockey, except there were pits on the field and whack-a-moles would pop up and players would slam into them or fall in.  there was no glitter involved.  someone stole the babysitter’s shotgun and was trying to shoot her since she kept interrupting us during shit but she was faster than sonic and kept matrix dodging the shotgun shells. tyler was rooting for us.  actually i think he started a betting pool with other celebrity friends to see who could shoot the babysitter.  it turned into a little hunger games, except we were all hunting the babysitter.

one of my other friend’s bedrooms since they all had rooms at my parent’s house was literally filled with weed.  there was a path big enough for a car to squeeze through and a sofa in the middle of the room but other than that, floor to wall weed.  nothing else.  he called it the posey room. he also had a lamborghini which also had a child lock, but his was stuck at 45 mph.  i always passed him in the halls in my tiny ass car even though the hallways are one car so idfk how i managed to pass him.  whenever he honked it was just a yeaaaaaaaaaa boiiiiiiiii.  there was a record player in the exact center of the house, suspended in midair.  it played whatever you wanted to hear the most.  we called i the record player of erised.  no one could hear what it played for themselves, and no one could give accurate descriptions of what they heard for someone.  someone would argue they heard smooth criminal, another would say moaning, and someone else would say fireworks.  we knew they weren’t right.  without fail hoechlin would always say it sounded like wonderwall.  we all looked at him funny because that was the only thing we found weird in the dream.

since the house was part mall there was a weird amc extension.  we watched a movie that was a combo of ferris bueller, me before you, avatar, and your name.  the friend with the pinata had a whole kiddie pool filled with popcorn and was sitting on the pinata, which was still intact even though someone had ran it over in the 45mph lambo.  i watched it get rekt.  but there it was, whole and fully intact.  the friend on the horse was still on the horse and refused to dismount, and managed to convince most of us that he was actually attached to it so he couldn’t get off.  i had seen him get off the horse to kick someone in the balls.  after the movie none of us could find the babysitter.  she disappeared.  we were all fine with that.  we found tyler eating leftover pizza in the kitchen and watching glitterball.  he said the babysitter left him in charge because she was sick of us.  we were fine with that as well.

the fridge that i put a hole in was the door to his room.  there was a camaro in there, and it was locked at 120mph.  my car was faster than his.  no one thought it was strange.  someone drank sriracha like it was water. someone else buttered the hardwood flooring and put lube on the doorknobs and faucets.  we all stayed in our cars for a while to avoid the buttery floors, all capped at different speeds.  the camaro was still the slowest, even slower than the horse. hoechlin’s car horn was just assorted swear words.  every time he honked it would stop our cars.  someone traded cars with him and just honked at random intervals .  we could hear the muted swearing every time our cars jerked to a stop.  eventually tyler traded back.

i got in a fight with my other friend about what would be in a sandwich called the lgbtq+.  i said edible glitter and anything the person making it wanted.  she said that was literally just glittery subway.  she argued that it had to be  lamb, grain, bacon, tabbouleh, quince, and an ingredient starting with the letter of the maker’s sexuality.   hoechlin said that we had to fight and whoever won would be right.  someone backhanded me before the fight started and i woke up.  what the fuck.

mildly concerning facts about this shitshow:

how does someones brain create this nightmare??  

why was i driving a fiat?? 

none of the neighbors filed an noise complaint. 

 im so confused.  

how did tyler hoechlin get into the house.  

do they even make pinatas bigger than small children

how does a fucking pinata survive a rollover from a lamborghini

why did no one stop us

we drank enough alcohol to die of poisoning three times over but werent drunk

a  room full of weed.  an entire room.

this is the second half so what was i doing before this

what was i doing

why did i dream this

what the fuck is wrong with me

if this was the second half, then what the hell happened in the first half

[solar-pxwered]

Hey, What’s your favorite...

Mun / Muse

Food?

Breakfast? Waffles / Pancakes with fruit topping Lunch? I hardly ever eat lunch, but I guess bagel and hummus / really big salads Dinner? Vegan Cilantro Lime Tacos / Honestly, Sun would love these too! Dessert? Blackberry Pie / Banana Creme Pie Candy? Hot Tamales / Reese’s Treat? Non-dairy ice cream / ice cream Snack? Avocado / Fruit or veggies of any kind Drink? Water / Tea Fruit? Lime / Banana Vegetable? Eggplant / Carrots Restaurant? Local Thai place called Thip Thai / that one fancy place Viridian likes to go to that has KILLER sweet potato fries. Seasonal Dish? Stuffed Butternut Squash / Roasted Chestnuts Toppings on Your Pizza? VEGGIES / Also veggies Ingredients in Your Hamburger? Veggie burgers only with lettuce, onions and  chipotle mayo / Veggie burgers only with lettuce, onion, tomato, ketchup and mustard

Animal?

Domestic Animal? Cat / Dog Wild Animal? Giant Panda / Giraffes Mammal? ^^ see above Bird? Sparrow / Flamingo Reptile? Bearded Dragon / Turtles Amphibian? Smoky Jungle Frog / Axolotl Fish?  Beta / Puffer Fish Canine? Great Dane or American Bulldog / ANY dog, but especially scruffy looking terriers. Feline? Abyssinian / Bombay Rodent? Rat / Rabbit Ungulate (Hoofed Animal)? Bison / Cow Insect? Cicada / Walking Stick Dinosaur? Pachycephalosaurus / Apatosaurus Extinct Species? Woolly Mammoth / Apatosaurus Endangered Species? Giant Panda / Ring Tailed Lemur Mythical Animal? Dragon / Griffin

Entertainment?

Book? To Kill A Mockingbird or The Picture of Dorian Grey / Oliver Twist Comic? X-Men / X-Ray and Vav Manga? Pandora Hearts / Fullmetal Alchemist TV Show? Road to Avonlea / Courage the Cowardly Dog Movie? It’s A Wonderful Life / Die Hard Cartoon? The Fox and the Hound / Aladdin Anime? Inuyasha / Pokemon Character? This is too broad of a category  Superhero? Nightcrawler / Spider-Man Hero? Real life police officers and firemen / Huntsmen and Huntresses of all kinds Villain? Scar / The Joker Princess? Belle / Belle Minor Character? STILL TOO BROAD OF A CATEGORY Sidekick? Samwise Gamgee / Ron Stoppable Game? Catch phrase / Cards Against Humanity Board Game? 13 Dead End Drive / Sorry! Video Game? Mortal Kombat (all) / Halo Puzzle? Sudoku / Mazes Toy? Slinky / Nerf Guns Stuffed Animal? OG BEANIE BABIES (not the creepy new ones with alien eyes but the ones that actually looked like legit animals) / he doesn’t have any (SOMEONE GET THIS BOY A STUFFIE! ) Music? Varies day to day  Instrument? Bass Guitar / Drums Music Genre? Varies day to day Song? Too many to even pin one down (Music) Artist? Micheal Buble / Eminem Band?  Sleeping at Last / Halestorm (nice drums!)

Place to Be?

Place in Your House? Living Room / Living Room Place in Your Childhood Home? Kitchen / no longer has a childhood home :( Place in Your Room? Bed / Bed Seat at the Dinner Table? Any / Any Spot in the Living Room? Rocking chair / couch Place Indoors? Movie Theater / Belladonna House Place Outdoors? Ireland / Vacuo’s desert Place on the Job? Breakroom / Inns to rest in after the job is done Shop in Town? Game Stop / Army Surplus Stores Shop in the Mall? Slackers / Video game stores Vacation Spot? Ireland / Menagerie Resort? not big on resorts / neither is Sun Museum? Chicago Field Museum / not big on museums Tourist Trap? Giant’s Causeway, Northern Ireland (totally worth it, and after hours it’s free) / old Vytal Festival arenas from past competitions

(misc)

Season? Fall / Summer Holiday? Christmas Weather? Rainy / Hot and sunny Artwork? Hiroshima by Janet Sobel (Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art in Bentonville, AK ) / doesn’t really care Artist? *shrugs* Subject in School? History and Science / Close Quarters Combat Color? Black / Red Flower? Tiger Lily / Daisy Gemstone? Emerald / Topaz Temperature? HOT Time of Day? Sunset / Sunrise Fairy Tale? The Legend of Sleepy Hollow / his mom used to tell him wild and fanciful stories about Faunus and magic, he doesn’t remember them all but he remembers he loved listening Myth? Cryptids (not myths, tbh, I have seen a Chupacabra with my own eyes, thank you.) / Journey to the West, of course! Mythological God/Goddess? Loki / Neptune (he looked it up when he first met Neptune to see what his name referenced and it’s the only myth he’s read xD } Constellation? Scorpius / Ursa Major