ever think about twelve being so sick of losing people, especially losing people because of their belief in him as a hero, like amy. so he strips off that mask and shows how cold and calculating he is willing to be with lives and he chooses a face that shows his age and stops hiding his danger behind a charming smile or a bow tie. he does it as a kindness, so Clara knows what she's getting into. and she does. and she gets into it anyway. and it makes him even more desperate not to lose her. so he breaks all of his own rules, everything he stood for because just once he didn't want to have to lose someone. he went to the end of space and time the long way round, he beat death and he betrayed the home he spent his life searching for to try save her. for once he chose what he wanted, her, over the universe.
and after all that, all he managed to do was make it so she lost him instead.
sooo you guys know when twelve remembered clara in TUAT... it just hit me that what he saw was just a memory of her. which means that the doctor remembered her but clara will never know he did...........
I know its semi-canon that clara's family knows she died but I actually like to think that nobody on earth ever found out what happened to Clara and she's just considered a missing person, purely because I think Clara would enjoy reading conspiracy theories about herself