#I miss Hunters223. I miss prodigy and the neighborhood and unspeakable | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anothermouse · 2 years ago

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(vent) when I had maladaptive daydreaming issues, I’d wake up in the morning daydreaming, I’d think about my characters all morning and work on my story playlists, and it wouldn’t stop when I got to school, it was just being one (and sometimes two) foot in my head at all times. I’d go to the kitchen and get stuck pacing lost in my head and wouldn’t eat. I’d lay awake in bed for hours thinking about them. My biggest core hobby was art and I only learned it to draw the characters from my daydreams. I had a serious problem, and I miss it so, so much.

#Fuck man. I miss being in love with something so dearly #I feel empty without it. I have friends now and I get to sleep most nights and I can eat breakfast most mornings #my mental health is better I have new interests and I know myself better! So why do I miss it so bad #I feel like I’ve been locked out of my own home. I loved loved loved my daydreams so much. They were my life my genuine whole life #and I overcame it and I just wish I could have it back sometimes.#I was wrapped in so many layers of dissociation and it wasn’t healthy for me physically or mentally but I was genuinely so happy before #The depression. The daydreaming was a major factor in the depression #It’s not like I don’t daydream at all anymore but it just keeps getting harder and I hate it so much #I miss Hunters223. I miss prodigy and the neighborhood and unspeakable #and peck. God I miss peck aha he used to make me so happy so so happy #My little shining light during depression.#Generations is like a tiny ripple left on my life compared to that glory it used to always hold. I miss the passion so badly #vent #Jay still loves tolverse. Her heart is still in it and it gives me some feeling back to draw things for tolverse knowing how much she’ll #love them.#I’m probably being over dramatic and will get back some daydreaming joy soon enough. Or I won’t.#it’s hard. I spent so long getting good at art only to have to ease up on the daydreams that fueled it for my own wellbeing.#I want to still love art. I still like it but it’s not the same #I have guitar and my friends and school and sort of reading and writing (though that’s more of willows thing I just kind of watch and chime #in on occasion)#It’s 4 am and I haven’t sleep and I didn’t get my antidepressants today (or well yesterday) so don’t worry too much I’m probs just #over emotional but boy howdy. Shit hurts.#Lets not even mention the old life plan. I don’t know if a single thing I wanted to make is going to happen and that’s. Ouch #This is ok to reply to and stuff.

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