#I meant to go to bed at like 2-3am and then stayed up til FIVE PM

[pseudobun]

"My sword is swift, but it is my love that strikes deepest. Should any dare approach what is mine, they shall taste the wrath of my devotion."

[underthehedge]

Yeah this is a big fuckin deal. When people say "oh you can just train yourself", I can only think of the year of my life when I was working stupid early shifts and how that did not in any way change my natural sleep cycle.

See, my body likes to go to sleep around 2-3am, and wakes up naturally around 9-10am. My body defaults to around seven hours of sleep a night, but that's cool everyone is different.

This job though was a rare Monday-Friday catering job, but it had an early fuckin start. I started work at either 6:30 or 7am every morning, which you may notice is several hours before I'd naturally wake up. And it took me over 45 minutes to get there in a morning. I'd get out of bed at either 5:15 or 5:30 (busses, man) five days a week, slam my ADHD meds, drag on my work uniform, brush teeth and be out the door in under fifteen minutes.

Y'know what time I used to go to sleep every week night?

Around midnight, several hours early by my standards, because I was fucking exhausted from a physically demanding job and being grossly sleep deprived.

I need around seven hours sleep and I was barely managing five and a half on a good day. But it's not like I could go to bed at 10pm, that literally didn't work. I just cannot sleep at that time, it's impossible for me.

If you're one of these people who actually goes to bed at 10pm, imagine trying to get an early night by going to bed at five in the afternoon. Do you think you could do that?

And you know what happened every Friday? Why, my friends and I would go to the pub, as was our tradition. And I'd regularly be up until around 1 or 2am, and I'd sleep in til around 10 the next morning and be awake until 3am on a Saturday night because my sleep cycle never changed. Even having been awake for like 20 hours straight wouldn't really impede my ability to stay up later than midnight, and no amount of time spent getting up early can change that.

Oh and finally? If there was any question about how I'm not meant to be awake early? If I have to get up before like, 7:30am, I dry heave. I literally feel nauseous to the point of dry heaving regularly until like 8:30am rolls around.

I think the eight alarms thing is usually a maladaptation. You've trained your brain to ignore the eight alarms because you kept avoiding the training of willpower following the first alarm would require. I think some sleep therapy might help?

Hey so first of all fuck you, thanks.

Second: I love it when you read literature on sleep disorders, especially if it's on sleep disorders among folks with ADHD, and you see time and time again "when allowed to sleep on their preferred schedule subjects maintained healthy, normal, restorative sleep cycles" and "effects were not lasting without ongoing intervention; resetting the sleep schedule is a permanent effort."

Like, if I sleep *great* from 6am to 2pm and I wake up feeling rested and alert with no special help but I need to turn off the lights in my house and shut down all electronics at 8pm and beam a spotlight into my face starting at 5am to wake up at seven and feel exhausted all day, I think perhaps it is not actually my sleep cycle that is wrong it is perhaps society that is wrong.

BELIEVE ME, when I find the job that pays well and has decent insurance that lets me exist as a cheerful nighttime ghoul I am jumping on that with both feet. But until then I literally feel better getting six hours of sleep and occasionally sleeping so hard that i can't hear my alarms because of chronic sleep deprivation than I do turning off all the lights in my house and ceasing all activity two and a half hours after I get off of work.

Also: the eight alarms aren't all there to wake me up, it's just that sometimes I *also* sleep through the ones that are supposed to remind me to go sit at my desk and start work. One of the first three usually gets me up, but on a day when I sleep through all three of those I will be sleeping through all eight of them and usually a phone call and someone trying to shake me awake to.

ANYWAY after being treated with melatonin and light therapy and staring listlessly at the ceiling in the dark bored out of my skull with racing thoughts for sleep disorders that I didn't have for like twenty years the single most effective intervention that allowed me to get more sleep as someone with both ADHD and DSPD was to start hanging out and being active in places where it would be easy to fall asleep if the sleep caught me there instead of turning my bedroom into a dark, silent shrine of snoozing. Giving myself permission to fall asleep late instead of laying awake chewing myself up with guilt for not being asleep helped too.

Actually here's some tips for the sleepy bitches in the crowd:

1 - If you're laying down and not falling asleep in half an hour, you're not actually sleepy; read something or get up and do something because you're more likely to get sleepy faster that way than you are staring at the clock going "if I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and forty five minutes of rest when I have to go to work; If I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and twenty minutes of sleep when I have to get up, etc. etc."

2 - Allow yourself to be ambushed by sleep. Fall asleep on your cozy couch. Fall asleep in the comfy chair. Let yourself sleep where you fall asleep instead of dragging yourself to where you're 'supposed' to sleep if doing so will wake you up.

3 - The mythbusters thing. If you just lay down and close your eyes and pretend to rest you will feel more rested when you get up than when you laid down. Laying down to rest is better than nothing, it literally causes cognitive improvements similar to sleep in tests, and knowing that can help take off some of the pressure of not being able to fall asleep and can thus help you fall asleep.

4 - It's okay to "hang out" in the area where you're going to sleep. Read in bed. Play games on your cellphone in bed. If you want to go to sleep put on comfy clothes and bring a chill activity and hang out in your bed to do it so that all you have to do when you start getting sleepy is close your eyes.

5 - It's better to get some sleep than no sleep. Sometimes you look at the clock and it's six AM and whoops, fuck it. Okay, time for bed, don't stress that you're only going to get a few hours, a few hours is better than nothing. Lay down to pretend to rest at least and you'll probably feel okay.

6 - This one sounds silly and might not work for a bunch of people for a bunch of reasons but apparently there's some research suggesting that "well-rested" is a state of mind? I've had a reasonable amount of success with just telling myself "Yeah, I actually feel pretty good," and pushing through the day on a couple of hours of sleep. I don't *recommend* that and you should try to get as much sleep as possible, but yeah the next time you're low on sleep see what happens if you just try to decide to not be tired. It sounded like bullshit to me when I first heard it but I've found some success with it.

7 - This shit is cumulative. If you're doing a couple nights a week on low sleep that's not ideal but you're probably going to be pretty functional and you can work on it. If you overbook and overextend yourself for too long - I'm looking at you college students and new parents - it's going to add up. Try as much as possible to at least keep your sleep deficit nights spread out. (This message brought to you by writing 60k words of fiction in october and completely frying my brain because i wasn't getting enough sleep).

[meadows-of-light]

Nina Nesbitt song lyrics writing prompts part 2:

1) You could turn this bar into a good time

2) Feel like I'm not needing anything

3) When you hold my body like my blood does

4) After I've had a couple drinks

5) You could turn this dive into a five-star

6) We can use your backseat as a bed

7) Race around the city like a gangster

8) At least until we're breaking down again

9) You see the best of me, oh

10) And you're making me believe, oh

11) That I'm somebody special

12) That I'm somebody, ya I'm somebody

13) That I don't have to settle

14) Not for nobody, not for nobody

15) I've been loosing myself but lately

16) You got me thinking maybe, I got potential

17) To be somebody, to be somebody

18) To be somebody special

19) I could just be dancing in the kitchen

20) Wearing your t-shirt like a dress

21) Treasure me like I cost a million

22) As you whisper under your breath

23) You would do anything, oh

24) Just to make me believe, me believe

25) I've been lonely way too long

26) I've been loving all the wrong kind

27) I've been falling in your arms

28) Feeling like I'm good here for life

29) You're just the statue of the boy I used to know

30) You're just a tattoo of the words that we once spoke

31) You're the dry river, where the love used to flow

32) But it still runs through me, with you it had to go

33) But if you take this back

34) I'll be waiting to come alive, come alive

35) If you turn your back

36) I'll be waiting to fly

37) But you're like the falling leaves

38) Whilst I'm still the oak tree

39) Cause you're the one to leave

40) Now I'm falling asleep

41) You're like the broken keys

42) Whilst I'm just a broken home

43) Cause as I breathe in deep

44) You're looking at me like a statue

45) Of the boy I used to know

46) You're just a lighter, with no fuel to light the flames

47) You know I'll fight for this, but you wouldn't do the same

48) Cause you're just a diary, with a blank and empty page

49) But the story we wrote, I can't quite erase

50) I'll watch you fall to the ground

51) 'Cause there's just stone in your eyes now

52) We had it all, till we were found

53) We're just living these lies now

54) And I breathe in deep

55) As I watch you leave

56) You're the statue

57) Of the boy I used to know.

58) I've been flying through the clouds alone

59) Looking for somebody to hold

60) And you're here, you're here

61) And I keep on falling

62) And we're higher than the birds that fly

63) And we're closer than the lowest sky

64) 'Cause you're here, you're here

65) And I keep on falling

66) For the way you feel like Autumn

67) When you wrap your body round the

68) Girl in me that's sometimes haunted

69) But we don't let the world

70) I wanna take you to heaven

71) I'm gonna make sure you never think you're here alone

72) If you meant forever

73) Then look at me now

74) Just one place left to go

75) I wanna show you heaven

76) So take a deep breath and I'll take you all the way

77) If you meant forever

78) Then look at me now

79) Look at me and say

80) I'll take you to heaven

81) Look at me now

82) Look at me and say

83) Everything that you've been wanting to say

84) Every part of me is for you to take

85) I'm here, I'm here

86) And I'm not going

87) 'Til you say that you're ready to go

88) 'Cause I don't ever want to be alone

89) Stay near, stay near

90) Let's keep on going.

91) Once, once upon a time

92) Thought that you'd be mine

93) But then you let your colors shine

94) I wanted to believe

95) That you were right for me

96) Well how could I be so naive

97) Now we're broken

98) Forget me not

99) I'm falling down and I can't stop

100) Let's go down to the apple tree

101) Naive as Adam and Eve

102) Let's go down to the apple tree

103) Fighting against gravity

104) Falling too deep

105) So can you catch me?

106) Twice, twice I caught you out

107) My head was in the clouds

108) But I woke up and came around

109) To see, you play stupid games

110) Temptation in your way

111) Cause I went so fast from love to hate

112) You keep playing, you keep playing

113) I keep praying, I keep praying

114) That we could have been us

115) You keep playing, you keep playing

116) I keep saying, I keep saying

117) That it should have been us.

118) Does she ever feel like me?

119) Run her fingers down your back

120) Do you ever talk about us?

121) Or is it just the bad times we had?

122) 'Cause baby it's been three weeks and I'm going out my mind

123) How does she taste, is it sweeter than mine was?

124) I've been using bodies just to get me through the night

125) Is it the same, huh?

126) 'Cause it's crazy that you're moving on so fast

127) But baby it's okay if I am still the best you had

128) And it hurts that you would just leave like that

129) But baby it's okay if I am still the best you had

130) If I am still the best you had

131) Nobody did it like us, nobody did like you did

132) Darling I know that we're fucked

133) But you know my ego is stupid

134) Tell everyone I hate her cause I am scared of how you feel

135) It's complicated

136) I don't want you, no nothing more

137) I don't need you, it's crazy that you're moving on so fast

138) When I am still the best you had.

139) Pretend you're happy, pretend we're fine

140) I guess that's easier after all this time

141) Talk about someone else then look in my eyes

142) I know you still hold on to us inside

143) But we watched that butterfly fly

144) I'd give anything just to be with you again but it's not the right time

145) And I'd give anything just to feel you on my skin

146) But it's not the right time and it'll never be the right time, will it?

147) It might never be the right time and that's the hardest part of it

148) I keep you in my mind even though you've gone

149) Holding on to nothing's easier than letting go

150) Stuck in the memory of what has been

151) Just please don't love another like you loved me

152) Time doesn't heal, it just leaves me asking why

153) And I don't know why I feel this way

154) If I could, I'd change, believe me

155) And I know that you feel the same, is it too late for saving?

156) Oh, here I go again

157) It'll never be the right time, will it?

158) Walking down Parsons green, I can feel the cold

159) The leaves in the park are turning brown, I'm twenty two years old

160) Crazy that I was stood right here just five years ago

161) With the heat on my skin and a lover who is now someone I don't know

162) You don't see it, when it's happening, happens overtime

163) First you're loving, then you're crying

164) Then you can't decide

165) My life's uncertain and sometimes strange

166) But one thing I've learned is it won't stay the same

167) Even in the darkness I'll be okay

168) The sun will come up, the seasons will change

169) Winter comes racing 'round, something 'bout the air

170) The fire's on and the chimney smoke is tangled in my hair

171) Crazy how much my life has changed in just in a year

172) There's people I've met, people I've left, and some that didn't make it here.

173) Sunday night, I'm lying on your body

174) With my legs wrapped round you

175) Like the safest kind of sorry I could give

176) Cause I know I've let you down before

177) Dimmed light coming in from the hallway

178) You're in your black jeans

179) I'm in white lingerie

180) And it's 3am, I'm lying awake thinking

181) That when I'm sad my eyes run like streams

182) But yours stay dry as you clench your teeth

183) And that's how I know that you're the one for me

184) Cause I think about you on the train

185) Love how you say my second name

186) It seems without you I'm insane

187) Now you're asleep but I'm gonna say it anyway

188) I love you

189) Moonlight on a sun kissed body

190) Put your ink on my skin till it comes off on me

191) The TV's on again, they're dead

192) There's zombies in the bed

193) When I'm sad my words run like streams

194) Flooding your ears till we dive too deep

195) But that's how I know that you're the one for me

196) Cause I think about you on the train

197) Love how you hate what's in your brain

198) Watching you sleep like I'm insane

199) Telling you things that I find hard to say

200) Like I love you

201) Remember when we'd sit out by the graves

202) Laughing and talking about life

203) You took me to heaven when I had no faith

204) And showed me what love is really like.

[rose-of-pollux]

Quiz thing

Tagged by @belphegor1982​

When did you last sing to yourself?

This morning, and it was Queen’s “I Want it All.”

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

“What are my finches actually saying about me?”

Rest under the cut--

What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Getting my master’s degree in biology/my thesis project on finch learning.

What is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Traveling in New York City with @ksturf​, seeing Anastasia on Broadway and catching 100 Unowns.

Do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

Not really.  I want to publish a thing, though.

Do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I think so!

When did you last cry in front of another person?

Ummm... I honestly don’t remember.

Pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them

...Does the person have to be living?  My answer depends on that. XD

Would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

No, but it’s been my experience that strangers like opening up to me for some reason. *shrug emoji*

When was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

Back when I was doing my master’s, my procrastination habit had come back to bite me hard, and I had left a first draft of a term paper on crocodilian behavior til the night before it was due.  It was @ksturf​ who got to hear me screeching into the void at 3AM as I got the thing done (time zone differences made it not as bad for her).  That is the last time I ever stayed up that late.

(The kicker to this is that 1. I was one of two people who turned the first draft in on time, and 2. My professor said that it was “Such a wonderful first draft and very clear that I spent so much time and effort on it” that I didn’t need to revise it and would get an A on it.  Lesson learned: it’s easy to bluff your way through a term paper--even at 3AM--if it’s something that genuinely interests you)

What is your opinion on brown eyes?

...I love them.  And I would say that even if I didn’t have them myself--because ^he does.

Pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally

"...I’ve enjoyed a lifetime of adventures around the world...” -- Robert Vaughn.

Honestly, it means so much to me--he lived such a full and fulfilling life, and if I even accomplish a fraction of the things he was able to do, that will be time well-spent.

What would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

The Life and Times of a Scatterbrained Writer

What would you do with one billion dollars?

Keep/save enough to live comfortably (maybe slightly frivolously--gotta have my Nintendo games and fandom merch), make sure my best friend also lives comfortably, some for my family, and give whatever we don’t need to those who do.

Are you a very forgiving person?  Do you like being this way?

Hahahaha... No, but I am very good at hiding it.  Should I be better?  Yeah.  Will I?  *shrugs*  Who knows...

Would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Pastel, I guess?

How do you feel about tattoos and piercings?  Explain

Tattoos aren’t for me, nor are piercings other than ears.  And I have such a low pain tolerance that I probably wouldn’t have gotten my ears pierced if my mother hadn’t had it done when I was a toddler (my mother was a traditionally-raised Hindu who had only emigrated to the States from India a few years prior, and toddlers getting their ears pierced is a tradition going back literally thousands of years; getting a nose piercing as a mark of adulthood is also a tradition going back thousands of years, but my response to that was a firm #NOPE, and that was the end of the conversation).

Do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

Nooooooo, I hate it, I hate the way it feels on my face.

Talk about a song/band/musician/lyric that has affected your life in some way

So, Rockapella, Genesis, and Queen are three bands that I’ve known since childhood--in the case of Queen, I didn’t know it was them until I was much older (“We Will Rock You” was my hometown’s unofficial fight song for sporting events, so I’ve heard that song since elementary school--usually coupled with “We are the Champions”), and even then remained a casual fan until I watched Bohemian Rhapsody last year and just went headlong into loving them.  Freddie Mercury was an absolute legend, and finding out that he had ties to India like I did was an absolute thrill.

Rockapella were my first music loves--saw them on the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego game show, rediscovered them years later, and never left them again.  I’ve conversed with two of the Carmen-era members online, and met two others in person.

Genesis has been my musical fixed point, along with Bryan Adams.  I’ve just constantly been listening to them throughout my life.

The Monkees brought me to tumblr and subsequently led to my meeting people here that I’m still in touch with, even if I’ve drifted away from the fandom.

And Zach Adkins holds a special place for me, as well, seeing him as Dmitry in the Anastasia musical with @ksturf.

List the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel

So, I have seen Rockapella in concert 3 times, the Monkees twice, and a solo Nez concert once.

The Nez concert was in 2013, before the more recent... clouds covered the sun, shall we say?  I had a wonderful time at the time, and many good memories, and I feel awful that things have come to this--especially when a good portion of it seems to not be in Nez’s control at all.  It’s a dang shame, but I’ll cherish the memories I have.

The two Monkees concerts were in 2012 and 2014.  The 2012 “Gazpacho tour” was truly a remarkable thing--honestly, I don’t think anyone saw a tour coming after Davy had passed, and suddenly, here it was--and I remember the night before the official announcement, when Nez had teased us and everyone here was going absolutely bonkers over the possibility, before he broke the news before the official announcement.  And then, the concert itself... there was something magical that night, undoubtedly--Micky having us, the audience, sing Davy’s signature song, “Daydream Believer,” saying that it belonged to us now.  It was so sad and wonderful at the same time.  The 2014 tour had a more upbeat and celebratory feel to it, sort of the promise that the daydream was still alive.

The first two Rockapella concerts were before my Carmen Sandiego Renaissance; they just happened to be performing in my hometown twice, so I went to see them because “Oh, these guys!” (though only two of the guys from the Carmen era were actually still with the band).  I had a great time, but it was nothing like the third time, when I went because I had rediscovered how much they’d meant to me (and drove over an hour in a snowstorm to see them.  Abysmally foolish?  Yes.  Do I regret it?  Absolutely not).  The third time was also when I got to meet the two Carmen-era guys (and the new guys) after the concert, which was... more amazing than I can ever describe.

Who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I would have loved to have received a reply to the fan letter I had sent Robert Vaughn just two months before he had passed.  Obviously, I learned after the fact that he probably had been too sick to reply, but a reply I would have wanted would have been... just him knowing that he knew how much I admired him, and how much better he had made the world.

Do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organized/not organized?

Hahahahahaha, no.  I’m the most disorganized person in existence.  Any computer stuff I do on the couch.

What is your night time routine?

Dinner, toss around story ideas, make sure the finches are roosting/turn their light off, eventually sneak into bed as quietly as I can so as not to disturb the finches.

What’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

How unhealthily I eat some days...

If you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

Nooooo, I wouldn’t want to...

Pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

...I don’t do groups well; I’d just pick @ksturf and we’d go back to New York City.  Or maybe Hollywood this time, who knows?  Sightseeing and things--catch some Pokémon, too....

Name three wishes and why you wish for them

I wish:

I had enough money so that I and those I care about could live comfortably (self-explanatory)

That I could understand what birds were saying, and they could understand me (as someone who did a thesis on bird learning and behavior and has been trolled multiple times by multiple birds [including my own], I have personal questions I want answered).

That Robert Vaughn was still here (again... self-explanatory)

What is the best Halloween costume you have ever put together?  If none, make one up

I put together an awesome Carmen Sandiego costume in like... 2011?  Everyone knew exactly who I was.

What’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

...There are a lot of things I would never do for a million dollars.

What’s your Starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Dragonfruit refresher with lemonade.  @ksturf is the one I trust.

What is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Well, I just wrapped up my one-year position as a lab tech, so finding where I go from here is pretty much the biggest thing right now...

[vronnica]

‹ ･ ｡ ☾  [ blackpink vc ] hey boys. soz for missing plotting hour and opening… my bf wanted a cheese and wine night, so y’all know i was knocked af for like 12+ hrs. but now i am back and ready for action ! HENNYWAYS,,, i’m acacia ( she/her ), i’m twenty years of age, and i hail from the pst timezone ! i love kpop ( specifically got7 and blackpink. however, my ult bias is vernon from seventeen. if you know, you know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  ), milk tea, and mac and cheese. sooo sorry you’re all trapped in this rp w/ me. but y’all will learn to adore my 3am messages and casual spam on the dash. with that being said, under the cut you’ll find out more about my piece of shit baby angel, ronnie ! if you want ur muse to be friends with the stereotypical rich bitch. keep on readin bbs ;) psa: if you like this then you’re obligated to plot with me srry but i don’t make the rules. ( i’m jk please like this or i’ll cry. ) i’ll either slide in your IMs or you can contact me on discord @ mlilk#3162

jennie kim & cisfemale • hey, isn’t that veronica moon? she is that twenty-two year old that’s been living in conyers farm for twenty years. did you know her family is worth $18B? no wonder she is so ingenious & haughty. she is known around the estates as the aesthete, after all. 

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in veronica’s dreams, she is the epitome of a morning person. in reality, she’s a two in the afternoon kind of person. however, her schedule does not allow her to do that. so she does everything possible to transform herself into a morning person. new white rays shine through the window as she lies in her queen sized bed. she lifts up the aqua colored silk eye mask and the warm ball of light filtered through her thin eyelids. it takes her a moment to adjust but eventually her eyes flutter open to reveal the exhaust in her chocolate brown hues. she extends her arm out to her bed side table, grabbing ahold of her phone. she clears out the notifications that do not automatically appeal to her and checks the ones that do. after five minutes of procrastinating, she finally slips out of bed.

ronnie trudges her feet against the hardwood floor, making her way over to her bathroom. with a flick of a switch, the bright light from the crystal chandelier fills up the room. she runs herself a bath. filling the tub with lavender and jasmine bath salts. her le soir silk night slip pools around her feet as she climbs into the warm water. she’s completely and utterly relaxed. the time passes too quickly and she’s back on her feet. she wraps the fluffy white towel around her small frame and walks into her closet. winter, her favorite time of the year. she picks out a classic veronica moon outfit. a light orange and black tartan patterned dress paired with her wool cashmere burberry coat. and with a single spritz of her chanel no.5 onto her chest, she’s ready for the day.

                                              B A C K S T O R Y

moon jisung, ( chairman and co-owner of urban place resorts / hotels ) met vanessa ross ( retired model, turned fashion designer ) back in 1995 at one of vanessa’s casting calls. that, of course, was being held at urban place’s gangnam location. it definitely was not love at first sight. vanessa’s serious aura made jisung think she was a lawyer. jisung’s spazzy persona had vanessa thinking, “ this man is the chairman ? ” their relationship remained business. until one day jisung accidentally texted the designer one letter, “ q. ” from there, the relationship blossomed.

october 29, 1996, veronica moon was born, the moon family was complete, and they’re absolutely perfect. two years after she was born, jisung and vanessa decided to make a permanent home in conyers farm. therefore, veronica grew up in a really nice household. nice cars, designer clothes, and every day was a vacation. she was constantly spoiled. always given whatever she wants, whenever she wants. and of course, she’s used to getting her way all the time. ultimately making her: bad and boujee. her family is loaded. ( duh every1′s is. ) and she’s always been surrounded by lots of love and luxury.

being the only child, ronnie never had any consequences. in school, she became sort of a bully. she was very ruthless and cold. she had that, “i’ll do anything to get where i need to be,” personality. and if it meant paying someone to transfer the other student threatening her valedictorian spot, then yes, of course she’d do that. people either hated her or loved her. there was no in between. she kept her clique small. ( yes, a clique, which indeed was very exclusive. invite only. think of regina george or blair waldorf. ) she ran her school and she liked to keep it that way. 

once she graduated she became more of an adult about things. but, old habits die hard. therefore, some of those traits she developed in school still linger with her til this day. just a little more filtered. ( truly, just a tad bit. ) she got accepted into almost every ivy league college. her mother gave her the option to just pass on college. her father on the other hand, encouraged her to go to school to have the major under her belt. ultimately, she decided to go to yale and major in art history. ( she chose yale because it was only a little over an hour away from conyers. ) though, now, most of her classes are being completed online.

present time: veronica is currently taking a semester off school to really think about what she wants to do after she graduates. at the moment, she spends a majority of her time working on her art. growing up she always had an artistic eye. vanessa ( being a fashion designer ) taught her all the techniques when it came to drawing for fashion. though eventually, veronica steered away from the clothing industry and found herself drawing more intricate works of art.

                                           P E R S O N A L I T Y

too long; didn’t read: an angel with a halo unbalanced with horns, not a devil but not a saint either ?? kind yet has a backbone. softer than what she seems like. humorous and witty though understanding. mistrusting but willing to let loyalty speak. wealthy but tries not to depend on her family. stays away from the king glitterati lifestyle and fronts as if she’s just a normal gal livin’ in conyers etcetc.

she has that tell it like it is personality. she just calls it likes she sees it. even if she’s not exactly right. she’s literally drowning in her riches. making her materialistic af. some people might think she’s that dumb bimbo rich bitch. but she’s actually very VERY smart. witty and intelligent to be exact. 

super particular when it comes to most things. ( high maintenance queen. ) she wants things done correctly. so she often runs by the quote, “ if you want things right you gotta do it yourself. ” she absolutely despises like relying on others to get things done when she knows she could do it faster and better. a little bit of a ocd queen. 

her instagram = her job. it’s filled with ootds, selfies, food pics. but most importantly: her art. it’s the platform she uses to show people she isn’t just a pretty rich girl. she has talent. ( *insert "the kardashian's have no talent" - proven wrong in 7 minutes vid.* ) 

she’s very dedicated to her work, thus making her very goal oriented. she’s very creative and she’s actually a very good artist. she’s one of those people that set their mind to something and goes through with it until the end. i’m sure she picked up doodling and bullet journaling while growing up. *plays boss ass bitch vine.*

too long; didn’t read pt. 2: she’s slowly growing out of her tough head of hair and morphing into a young woman so beautiful over the years, but also at times, terrifying ?? self destructive ?? even if she’ll never let anyone see her deteriorate her insides sigh. she’s a hot mess. but she tries her best to hide that shit. yeye sweg.

                                            R E L A T I O N S H I P S

FRIENDSHIPS: she has plenty of friends, at least in her head. in reality, she just knows a lot of people through her many connections. so she has many affiliations. but never real friends. she’s very particular with the people she associates herself with. she believes that those around you reflect who you are as a person as well. therefore, she only surrounds herself with the best of the best. she may not be the best person to tell your secrets too either because she’s quite the gossip queen. but she can probably persuade you to trust her. rip. however, if you are a close friend of her’s, she’s very loyal to those who are loyal to her. which means she’d never do you dirty. but that’s only if she really cares about you. she’s a really great listener and she’s willing to give advice to those are willing to take it. plus, she’s the type to spoil the people she loves. so expect the best christmas gifts ever if u rollin’ with her. 

honestly, she really does need to surround herself with good people with genuinely good intentions. so please, someone teach her what loyalty is. 

bonus points if they’ve been friends for awhile. displays loyalty.

ENEMIES: she was bully in high school. so you know this girl has more than enough enemies ( and haters. ) she uses people, she pushes people around, etc etc. like she has some very evil intentions. she’s vengeful and irrational. she puts fuel to drama and loves to see people crash and burn. why ? she wants that reassurance that she is flourishing above all. she never wants to be belittled and will do anything to remain on the very top. however,,, ronnie does have some good intentions. she leans more to the chaotic neutral side. ( maybe tilted a bit more towards evil, but still. ) deep deeeeep deeeeeeeeeeep down the girl is trust issue central when it comes to letting people in. she can’t help it. she’s like that one rihanna meme, them: you can’t just cut people off. ronnie: *holds a pair of scissors* she doesn’t have problem with letting people go. so people think she’s a bitch because, “how could you just drop our five year long friendship like that.” and she’d just shrug. but really, she’s hurting beyond repair and will go home crying while eating a thing of ben & jerry’s chunky monkey.

there’s always that possibility where a friendship just didn’t work out. maybe they just stopped having time for each other and now it’s just mad awk. whatever it is, an enemy would b beaut.

veronica absolutely needs enemies. give her many. plenty. an abundance please.

LOVERS: i have a feeling she’s dabbled in the dating world. she’s had a few boyfriends, dates, etc. but most likely nothing LONG TERM. possibly because she doesn’t see the point unless it’s for marriage. just like her mom and dad. she has this [ beyoncé vc ] independent woman facade going on right now. which makes her seem like she doesn’t want anyone. but she’s secretly a hopeless romantic. this girl would love to be loved. and she truly needs it. she’s probably read tons of books about love and fluffy shit like that. it’d be a hard mission to win this girl over. but not impossible. she just has high expectations when it comes to relationships. so someone rlly needs to come here and treat this girl right. 

100% dabbles in the quick hook ups for the sake of fulfilling those needs. 

though, if the right person were to come along… she’d be loyal to them, completely devoted to just them.

CONGRATULATIONS ! you made it to end ! if you read all of this… i love you. i only ever write so much bc… it gets me in character lmao. also, i wrote all of this literally the moment i woke up so pls excuse any mistakes. i would really love to plot with everyone. so just slide into my IMs and we can get things started !! luv u *blows a kiss*

[xanthouus]

A good pal asked for these :)

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? probably? I don’t smoke but who knows, maybe future me might

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? taken <3 

3: What if I told you that you were pretty? well thanks sugar, you’re not too bad yourself ;)

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? nope lol 

5: Are you interested in anyone right now? maaaaaaaybe :3 

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week? going to my favorite place in the world, Brighton :) 

7: Do you want to be single? I enjoy being single but if someone is super great then I don’t mind not being single

8: Did you go out or stay in last night? Stayed in physical but mentally went out 

9: How late did you stay up last night? 3am, pretty early 

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? yeh

11: Last three things you had to drink? cider, vodka, capri sun 

12: Have you pretended to like someone? noooooooo.. na not really 

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? not to my memory 

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? ;) 

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? ohh yeh boi

16: Think back five months ago, were you single? yep 

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? work 

18: Hold hands with anyone this week? thankfully <3 

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? N.O.

20: What would you name your future daughter? Luna

21: Do you miss anyone? sure do buckeroo 

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? unfortunately 

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? nope

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? sure am

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad? yep, love schizoaffective disorder 

26: Who did you last see in person? my mother 

27: Are you listening to music right now? yep, flatsound 

28: What is something you currently want right now? more alcohol 

29: What is the last thing you said out loud? it’s all calories in the end 

30: How is your heart lately? diseased but chill

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? if its night

32: Are you wearing socks? nope 0 clothing lol 

33: What do people call you? cunt 

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? omg yeh boy rn

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? always 

36: Who did you last share a bed with? my dog 

37: Did you do something bad today? yep, sold alcohol to a minor 

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? what

39: Do you get stressed out easily? depends 

40: Will you sing today? already did bitch 

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? who hasn’t felt this 

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? bae

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? sure have hunny 

44: What are you listening to right now? you

45: What is wrong with you right now? don't get me started bitch 

46: What is on your wrists right now? nothing 

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing I’m naked 

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? okay anyone who says hot apple cider is dead to me literally wtf us wrong with you fight me 

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11? lucky number 7 

50: Are you a good artist? idk kid 

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? idk babe, idk 

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? fuckin no baby girl 

53: Ever been on a golf cart? yep

54: Do you have trust issues? yep

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? what.. never.. maybe ;) 

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic? several items cause geuss what, this bitch can ride a plane henny 

57: Do you use chap stick? twice a day 

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face? sure have 

59: Do you have a little sister? no lol

60: Have you ever been to New York? sadly nope nope 

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? in a platonic way 

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week? my arms will remain emtpy til the end of time

63: What were you doing at midnight last night? I was passed the fuck out bitch got on my level 

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? nope, love fighting 

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? yeh bitch 

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person? yep baby 

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? yeah

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? who knows

69: Will next Friday be a good one? maybe baby