#I mean we HAVE seen some delinquents: the cassettes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thepinkwriterr · 5 years ago

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Loner // IT 2017 Chapter Twenty - Three

Joy division - Disorder

I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand

Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?

These sensations barely interest me for another day,

I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away.

It's getting faster, moving faster now, it's getting out of hand,

On the tenth floor, down the back stairs, it's a no man's land,

Lights are flashing, cars are crashing, getting frequent now,

I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, let it out somehow.

Danielle's POV

Saturday.

I was awoken at two a.m. by a knocking my window. I groaned, rolling over. If this is Bill again, I'm gonna kill him. I stood angrily and opened the window. It was Eddie and Bev.

"What do you need?" I asked curtly. "You wanna go to the lake with us?" Bev asked. "What? The lake? At 2 a.m?" I exclaimed. "Yeah!" He laughed.

"I-is Richie gonna be there?" I asked, my voice breaking at the thought of seeing him. "Of course. Why?" I shrugged. Well now I have to go. If I don't it'll be suspicious.

I sighed. "Alright. Let me get changed real quick!" I turned, pulling shorts over my underwear. I looked down at my tank top as I heard hushed yells from the lawn. "Hurry up!" That was Stan. I groaned, shoving my feet into some vans.

"Coming!" I climbed out of the window, then shut it behind me. I got down from the tree and made my way across the grass. I met with the teens, pilling into Richie's car. "Shotgun!" Eddie called, running to the passenger seat.

"Get in the back Eddie." Richie popped his gum. "What? Why?" Eddie asked, looking hurt. Richie exhaled through his nose as if Eddie had told him a joke,"Because that's Dani's spot." My face broke into a sharp blush.

"Eddie, just take the front seat." "Noooooo! It's yooouuurrr spot!" He threw his arms up, climbing into the back seat. Stan and Ben never left the car, and Bev and Eddie were already in the car, leaving me alone on the lawn.

I huffed, then climbed into the passenger seat. Richie didn't even look at me. I gripped my right bicep with my left hand, looking down at my arm.

The only sound being made in the car was Eddie, Stan, and Bev in the backseat, arguing, mixed with the gentle hum of F.M radio. As we drove, the only light was from the overhead street lamps and the pale moon.

As we turned down Harris, the moon shone on Richie's center console. Held in the narrow storage compartment next to his gear shift were his cigarettes, red lighter, and Lighting Crashes on cassette.

The sight should've made me happy, but it didn't. It filled me with an empty, somber light. He listened to the tape still, I could tell. The paper stuck on the front, holding the penned title, was slightly dirty and the pen was smudged.

He still listened to the tape, he had kissed me, but he couldn't even spare me a look. I think about that kiss more than I should. More than healthy. I think about his soft lips on mine, his beautiful words spared seconds before he bestowed his lips.

Every time I think about the kiss I get filled with the same empty feeling as when I saw the tape. I wish I could take that day back. No... don't say that... I thought. Maybe-

My thoughts were interrupted by the car slamming to a halt. "We're here, delinquents!" Richie laughed, twisting his key out of the ignition.

We made our way to the large body of water. I crouched down, running my hand through the clear water. It wasn't freezing, but it was unwelcomingly cold. It was cold and unkind; but it held the ability to be rigid and far colder than it led on. Like Richie.

"Is she warm?" Stan asked in a stupid voice, crouching beside me. I laughed, looking up at him,"It's not bad." "So, you and Bill broke up, huh?" "Yeah...A little bit ago. I guess it was for the best." I shrugged.

He rested his hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes,"I'm sorry for what he did. But he is really sorry." I sighed,"I know. But don't think you can convince me to get back with h-" "No, no. I wouldn't. I agree you should've broken up. He made an asshole move."

I sighed again. "I know..." "Hey girl," Beverly smiled, making her way over to us. She kicked the dirt up a bit with the tip of her sandals. "Ready for a dip?" "A dip? I didn't know we were swimming..."

She laughed,"Of course. It's a lake. What did you think was gonna happen?" I shrugged. Eddie and Ben came over, laughing. "You ready?" Ben asked Beverly. She nodded, stripping off her crop top and pants. She flung her jelly sandals off, thrusting them into Stan and I.

Stan laughed, taking off his shirt. He carefully folded it, then did the same with his kakis. I rolled my eyes at his caution. I looked around for Richie, not seeing him anywhere.

"You guys ready?" Richie asked, yanking his shirt off as he ran. My breath hitched in the back of my throat at the sight of him stripping. His skin was pale, freckles dotting across his torso. He took off his vans, then jeans. He was left in a pair of Hawaiian boxers.

The entire group burst into laughter. "What?" He looked around, confused. "What's so funny?" Beverly wiped a tear from her eye,"Your boxers! I've never seen that!" She laughed through her words. The woman was hysterical.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes,"You're just jealous of all this!" He threw his hands, showing his lean body off. They all laughed again. He took his glasses off, setting them on top of his clothes.

They all jumped in, laughing. As Richie's laughter rang through my ears I felt my eyes sting. My eyes were pricked with tears as I stared at my friends. I wonder if they're all as miserable as I am. If they're just hiding it. Masking it with whatever the fuck we're doing.

I mean, it would all make sense. Ben's in love with Bev still, Bill isn't even here, Eddie's mom is ruining him, Richie's parents couldn't give less of a shit about him, and Stan still gets made fun of everyday for being Jewish.

And then there's me. I cut my best friend off because she's dating my brother. I like one of my friends so much I would do anything for him. I really have no other friends, and my brother probably hates me.

"You comin' in Danielle?" Beverly asked, looking up at me. I sighed. I really didn't want to get half naked around Richie. What if he thinks my body's ugly? "Uh...I don't know...I'm kinda-uh-cold." "Oh come on, you can think of a better lie than that!" Bev joked. "Yeah, Come on in!" Ben exclaimed.

"Uh-okay..." "Yay!" Ben, Beverly, Stan and Eddie cheered. I slid my shorts off, then pulled my tank top off. I was left in a lacey white bra and red panties.

I walked into the water, feeling the cold river liquid surround me. I laughed as Eddie jumped on my back. He sunk my head under the water, then let me back up. I splashed him, hearing him laugh. Then started an all out splashing war.

Richie's POV

I sat up in bed, the same unfulfilled feeling in my chest. I reached over to the night stand, taking my Marlboro's off the wooden desk. I pulled out a skinny cigarette and put it in-between my lips. I lit it, inhaling.

Not even the feeling of the smoke filling my lungs got rid of the feeling. I stubbed the cigarette out, then stood up. I walked down the hall to the kitchen. I picked up the phone receiver from the hanging phone on the wall. I dialed Bev. I waited about a minute before she answered.

"Who the hell-" "Save it. We're going to the lake. I'll be at yours in fifteen minutes. We'll pick everyone up." I hung up, then rushed up the stairs. I slid my jeans over my boxers. I pulled a shirt over my thin torso, then put on my shoes.

I grabbed my Marlboro's and red lighter, then went down to my car. I sat for a second, relishing in the empty feeling. I drove to Bev's as fast as I could.

As I pulled onto Oak Road I thought about that day in detention with Danielle. That was the day she gave me the tape. There hasn't been a day that I don't listen to it at least once.

We waited abut five minutes before she appeared on the lawn. Eddie called for shotgun. I was going to let him have it for once, but I saw her.

She looked so beautiful. Her layered hair being picked up by the subtle wind, her lithe frame, her beautiful face. Everything about her is perfection. Oh my god...What are you thinking? She's your sisters best friend!

"Get in the back Eddie." I popped the gum in my mouth. He protested, but ultimately got in the back with everyone else. The real reason I called everyone was Danielle.

I wanted to see her. I knew the feeling in my chest was from her. The lack of seeing her. God, I missed her. And I saw her yesterday. What the fuck is happening to me?

Everyone laughed at me when I took of my pants, revealing my Hawaiian boxers. Except Danielle. I jumped in regardless, not really caring what they thought of my choice of underwear. No ones opinion mattered. Except Danielle's. She was always the exception.

I noticed she hadn't jumped in with us. "Hey, Bev, tell her to get in." I nudged Beverly, whispering to her. She nodded. Danielle was eventually prodded into joining us.

I watched in silence as she stripped herself of clothing. Her shorts came off, exposing her bare legs. They were tuat and long. She pulled off her shirt, revealing the rest of her body.

The pale moon hit her shoulders, giving her an inhuman glow. She was beautiful. Her bra straps dug into her shoulders, encapsulating her breasts. God, what I would give to see her, sans underwear. I bet it's even more beautiful.

Danielle's POV

After about half an hour in the lake, we decided to get out. I shivered as I stood from the lake. "W-what t-time is it?" I shuddered as a bush of wind hit me.

"About 2:45." Eddie answered. "W-we should get going soon..." I rubbed my arms in a petty attempt to warm myself. "Why?" Ben asked. "Is Princess scared about sneaking out?" Richie whispered in my ear. I nodded. "Awe, why? First time?" He asked, puckering his bottom lip.

I nodded again. "Wait, really?" He asked, brows furrowed. "Yeah...I never really had any friends to do it with." I shrugged.

Richie's POV

My heart twinged at her words. I know how it feel to be alone. I was so lonely before I met the losers. I'm still lonely. I bet I wouldn't be lonely if I had her in my arms...

Danielle's POV

I felt a real break though with Rich. He was being...nice. Well, nice for Richie. We all gathered around a make-shift fire pit Bev made. Stan set up the fire and we all sat back around it.

Arms crossed at my chest, I still shivered, hunched over slightly. "Cold?" Richie whispered in my ear. Every time he does that I feel my heart stop momentarily.

I nodded frantically. "Hold on." He stood, walking over to his car. He came back with a jean jacket. "It's not much," He put it on over my shoulders,"But, here." I slipped my arms through the sleeves, feeling the warmth from my body reach the fabric.

"Thanks Rich." He nodded coldly. Great. We're going backward. Again! I slumped my head between my shoulder blades, rolling my eyes.

Beverly started telling us a story about her and Kali. The way she described her made me miss her so much...

We left the lake about twenty minutes later, most everyone agreeing it was too late to be out. Richie was very vocal about his disagreement, but we didn't really care. We were all tired.

Ben's house was first. We dropped him, then Stan. Bev's apartment was further than I remembered. When we dropped her off, it was just the three of us.

Eddie turned to me, ranting about how we deserved an A, not an A minus, on our history project. I had gotten used to his incessant bitching, but it was starting to annoy me.

I guess I wasn't the only one, as Richie threw his head back, groaning. "Shut up Eddie!" He exclaimed. I turned to him,"It is a little annoying..." I scratched the back of my neck, not wanting Eddie to be upset.

The rest of the trip to Eddie's was silent. He waved goodbye to us as he walked down the street. I looked back as Richie's pulled away, seeing Eddie sneaking back into his window.

Oh, that dreaded silence... Why, oh why, did I have to be last? Richie hadn't uttered another word since we said goodbye to Eds.

He pulled up to the curb of my house. I sighed, then unbuckled my seat belt. "See ya Monday." He nodded coldly, again. Why was he always so distant? It's like he chose when he liked me. One minute he did, he was kissing me, giving me his jacket, the next, he didn't. He was giving me dirty looks, knocking books from my hands, not even sparing me a fleeting glance.

I sighed in anger, opening the door. I slammed it behind me, not caring about the level of noise I created. I made my way to my window, sneaking back in. To hell with Richie Tozier.

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