#I mean the world ISN'T crumbling it's not doomed but it's hard not to feel like that sometimes

[curiosityschild]

I'm in this really weird position of suddenly having a whole lot of hope in the future (*my* future, the parts I can control) and also being terrified of and desperately trying not to lose hope in the future (...the rest of it. You know.)

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

jeong jeong playlist! annotations under the cut:

this is an oddball playlist. there's a song on it from every decade 60s-present, it's got more men than women (unusual for me, and odd given that i headcanon jeong jeong as transfem), and it's very...political. i'm still not sure if it's trivializing and offensive to put these serious protest songs on a character playlist or if it simply makes sense. i mean, i'm looking for songs about a character who leaves the military for ideological reasons. how could it NOT get political, right?

1. i ain't marching anymore - phil ochs

call it peace or call it treason / call it love or call it reason / but i ain't marching anymore

case in point.

2. study war no more (down by the riverside) - pete seeger

i'm gonna talk with the prince of peace / down by the riverside / and study war no more

i mean like. i feel weird about including these songs but also you gotta wonder if maybe historical anti-war movements and songs informed the writing of a character who deserts the military. bc she quite literally is a ex-military pacifist by the riverside talking to her world's religious savior.

3. i was in a cult - teddy geiger

i was a soldier under the despot / born in the summer, all that I wanted / i am a child, I asked for the beating

found this while looking for songs by transfem artists for this playlist and was just kind of blown away. like, jeong jeong was a soldier, summer is the season of fire, and there's no way she had a happy childhood. a firebending prodigy, probably pushed very hard to succeed, plus being queer and autistic? in a country where the head of state abuses his son in front of a crowd? there's no way. it's a song about breaking free from any force telling you to conform, and that's certainly jeong jeong deserting the military.

4. empty square - sarah jarosz

i'm gettin' swallowed up by all my choices / i'll take a dive off your marble stairs / 'cause it's all crumbling down

i think jeong jeong's desertion was incredibly dramatic, bc she knew a high-ranking official loudly denouncing their power and privilege ("taking a dive off your marble stairs") would make a big statement. some random soldier quietly escapes and joins the earth kingdom? we'll track him down and say he died in battle, so tragic. an admiral stands up to give a speech in front of a huge crowd of soldiers and tells them that they're cruel savages and their empire will fall before disappearing in a ball of fire? well that's a fucking PR nightmare.

5. prayer in open d - emmylou harris

and the shadows filling up this land / are the ones i built with my own hand

GUILT. also river imagery. jeong jeong loves river imagery.

6. eve of destruction - barry mcguire

take a look around you, boy / it's bound to scare you, boy / and you tell me / over and over and over again, my friend / how you don't believe / we're on the eve of destruction

learned of this song via todd in the shadows, whose take on it is that it's kinda melodramatic but also totally understandable. like yeah, maybe the world isn't hopeless, but sometimes it sure feels that way. this growly voice singing to some "boy" about how he needs to understand the world is doomed reminds me of jeong jeong talking to aang, warning him of the danger of fire. you get where she's coming from, even if she's overly pessimistic.

7. man in the wilderness - styx

sometimes i feel like a man in the wilderness / i'm a soldier off to war / sent away to die / never quite knowing why

8. i'm on fire - bruce springsteen

this song is maybe a little more clueless than jeong jeong (she knows quite well why she was sent off to war, and she's not really a man) but living in the wilderness feeling lost is definitely fitting.

8. blindness - metric

i was a blindfold, never complained

the wartime imagery, plus this theme of being blind to what's going on. also the lines "i was the one with the world at my feet" and "you gave me a life i never chose" about jeong jeong's high rank and how much he never wanted that path

i got a bad desire / oh, oh, oh / i'm on fire

for jeong jeong this song isn't about lust & desire in the usual sense but about the desire for waterbending and femininity. wanting something to cool the burning feeling inside, that cooling element embodied in a girl whose father left her. a gender envy song, and a song very literally about firebending.

am i reading the song totally in a way it was not intended? yeah probably. do i care? no.

9. my body is a cage - arcade fire

i'm living in an age / whose name I don't know / though the fear keeps me moving / still my heart beats so slow

dysphoria and self-loathing and internalized homophobia and disillusionment with the world oh my

10. arsonist's lullabye - hozier

all you have is your fire / and the place you need to reach / don't you ever tame your demons / but always keep 'em on a leash

i hesitated for a while putting this on here because of the line about "my peace has always depended on all the ashes in my wake" - jeong jeong's firebending does not bring her peace. but if you take that line more metaphorically, you could say that deserting the military was destructive - she burned her old life down, so to speak. and any peace she has comes from those ashes.

the rest of the song is pretty on the nose, with the chorus counseling restraint and the verses indicating a close relationship with fire throughout her life. the wiki says she was a prodigy, which fits with what we see of her. if she had a close connection to fire, if she was praised for talent with it from a young age, the guilt of what she's done with it would hit that much harder.

11. the wolf - the crane wives

'cause I’m no good at being kind to myself / or anyone

very "razor's edge between humanity and savagery", all about this idea of teetering between human and animal because you feel you are inherently a destroyer.

12. ophelia - marika hackman

but did you hear the sun go down? / silent as the child i found / hiding in the midnight of my soul / i am ready now to let her go

trans jeong jeong coming out. the sun, the source of fire, goes down, and she feels her true self can emerge.

13. a burning hill - mitski

and i am the fire and i am the forest and i am the witness watching it

THE song for angsty firebenders trying to embrace peace. that you've been a victim and a perpetrator and a bystander and now you're just going to live a quiet live and love some littler things. zuko 🤝 azula 🤝 jeong jeong - this song.