#I mean the I am lowkey practicing face shapes so I guess it's not so random. The two on the top is just random ahh people. Lol

[screwpinecaprice]

Slow mindless sketches for a slow slow day. Man, the El Niño keeps hitting hard over here, it's so hot how are people able to think when it feels like the brain is frying?? 😭 I think I would have to change up my sleeping schedule to draw during the night instead.

[lunaastoir]

fluff/relationships w the liyue crew

characters included: xiao, childe, beidou, and zhongli

ik i forgot ningguang i promise i’ll include her in part 2, i just didn’t have time :(

all x a gn! reader 

my liyue babies :,) ft. ningguang in spirit

an: i was listening to my soft playlist (more like listening to cupid’s chokehold on repeat, no i am not basic 🔪) and i thought some fluff headcanons would be cute w these sweet people

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xiao

ok so no surprise that he hates liyue harbor

he hates anything w a lot of people in it so he prefers to stay at wangshu inn tyvm

but by contrast, you love liyue harbor sm (it’s gorgeous i mean c’mON)

you go there often to retrieve your commissions in order to stay closer to xiao (liyue harbor is closer than mondstadt he argues but you’re well aware that they’re both equally far away)

so if anyone asked, xiao would absolutely refuse to go to the harbor like i hate people??? why would you even ask???

but,,,he’s so sOFT for you

if you asked??? he would agree in a heartbeat

but since he’s >:( angsty boy, he makes you think that he won’t go even when he’s already decided that he’s coming w you

he puts up the “if you so require, then i guess i will assist you with your travels in liyue harbor” but in reality he would definitely have said yes even without the almond tofu

while he hates the harbor, he thinks that with you anything is bearable :,) simp

you take him to see xinyan to vibe w her music and you can tell he really enjoys it

even tho he’s like 🕴 the entire time, you see the softer look on his face and the very slight smile on his lips as he listens to the music and watches the crowd

so so so cute very soft for him

i do see him as a subtly touchy person in public like brushing the hair off your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, or gently pulling your hair back when you have a plate of food in your hands 

the type to link your pinkies together - he claims it’s so you don’t get lost but yk better 

after the concert is done you take him to that one waypoint near mt. tianheng and the both of you just watch the city lights and the way they reflect beautifully on the water surrounding the harbor 

personal headcanon that xiao absolutely loves stargazing since he believes the stars are the one true constant in his life especially since he’s experienced so much loss (basically they’ll never leave him god i hate myself why do i make everything SAD)

mini headcanon off of that - he doesn’t stargaze with people,,, like ever 

it’s something he loves to do alone so the fact that he lets you stargaze w him and even allows you to shift your head onto his lap while you watch the sky is a huge deal 

he loves it when you softly whisper abt how your day was or something you saw that made you laugh 

he just loves hearing your voice, it automatically calms the voices in his head 

you absolutely ADORE when he has flowers in his hair especially cecilias (cecillias? ceccillias? idfk) and you make a point whenever you go to mondstadt to pick a fresh batch of cecilias just for xiao while enlisting the help of your favorite bard  

these soft moments on the mountain are usually when you’ll sweetly tuck in a flower or two in his hair while laughing 

he’ll blush fiercely while looking away but will tuck the cecilias in securely as you’re unable to do so due to the position you’re in on his lap

all in all - this was not meant to come out as a date idea but we’re going w it 

this is so cute xiao pls let me put flowers in your hair sweet boy <3

childe

god, loml, my favorite war criminal after eren yeager 

there’s never a dull moment w this man - if you wanted peace and quiet, why the hell are you dating him bestie???

is the type of person to yell out “Y/N, i can’t believe i ran into you here!” if he sees you somewhere even tho you explicitly told him you were going to be here in the morning (ik you have a good memory ajax don’t lie to me 😐)

i don’t see him as being obnoxious w pda unlike someone else kaeya but he would definitely participate (think: handholding, cheek kisses, an arm around your shoulders)

loves it when he comes home and sees you in an apron cooking 

domesticity just makes his heart melt so you can be sure that your face will be peppered w a lot of kisses afterwards <3 

absolutely ADORES it when you trace his scars absentmindedly when you’re lying down or even when you’re having dinner in public  

he’s been far from his family for so long that small acts of mindless affection like this really make his heart happy 

you have him drunk on your love luv haha see what i did there 

he will let you put makeup on him. no i do not take criticism ⛄️

he already has on lowkey thick eyeliner,,, don’t be shy put some more bestie 

he will shamelessly go out in public w whatever you made him wear - doesn’t really give a shit even tho he has a reputation to maintain 

speaking of reputation,,, yk his mask? yeah that one - the red hair accessory that he has on his head

well on the mask, he attached a little charm the both of you got together on your first date during lantern rite 

it’s this adorable fox that we all shamelessly kill for meat and he placed it so it anchored to the side of his mask so when he fights it isn’t a nuisance or anything (does that make sense??? i hope it does) 

his subordinates notice and while they’re stoic around childe, behind closed doors they do whisper abt the mysterious person who’s captured his heart 

not so mysterious anymore when they literally see him cling onto you during his daily patrol around the harbor 💀

it’s ok tho he’s lucky he’s cute 

bestie,,, pls give him a neck massage 

i just KNOW he’s tense there idk something abt the way he carries himself just screams “my neck hurts so bad someone pls help me i would ask but my pride literally will not let me”

so give him a neck massage :) don’t worry tho he’ll definitely return the favor and then some

LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS 

he’s obsessed w them,,, it’s just the faces you make??? he can’t get enough 

he loves seeing the pure joy and the brief fear (he’s kind of a sadist) in your eyes before he attacks you w those damned hands 

it reminds him a lot of simpler times w his siblings and he’s happy he brings you joy and makes you forget your worries - at least for a little while 

all in all, he’s a good boy and no i will not tolerate childe slander 🔪 kaeya slander tho 😏

beidou

you pulled beidou??? wow everyone’s jealous (pulled as in literally from the banner and in this context but no i do not have beidou and no i definitely do not want to talk abt it)

god made beidou and zhongli just so all of us could have a sexuality crisis 

anyways, being w her is hard i will not lie 

not bc she isn’t a capable lover - no, quite the contrary 

she’s an amazing partner but the problem here lies in the fact that she’s almost never on land 

it’s hard working a long distance relationship but y’all love each other so it works out :,) 

when she is physically present however, expect to never be bored 

she’ll quietly fix the wrinkles on your shirt or fiddle with your fingers in her hands while she recounts her adventures out on sea 

she sometimes gets worried she bores you, however the way your eyes light up every time she tells a tale always reassures her otherwise

definitely the type to let you use her claymore if you want to learn 

she’ll provide useful tips as she tucks her hands into your sides gently, positioning you correctly so you don’t hurt yourself 

miss girl is an AMAZING cook 

i just know she cooks the best meals - i mean she’s friends w xiangling after all 

whenever she comes home from a voyage she’ll always insist on making something for you even if she’s abt to pass out 

pls tuck her into bed and promise her that she can make you something in the morning <3 the poor woman needs rest 

brings you back trinkets but they’re actually very practical 

she knows you won’t have much use for a simple charm (not that there’s anything wrong w that) but she believes you’ll like something practical more so she might get you a new engraved knife from the most recent place she’s been to 

definitely the type to surprise you when she docks 

i can imagine her anchoring her ship out a little ways from liyue harbor and rowing to the dock in order to make sure you aren’t alerted of her presence (i’m sorry the mental picture this made in my mind is SENDING ME INTO ORBIT but she means well i love you)

will take you to remote spots she’s found in her travels through liyue 

for example - the little heart shaped island and the island quest (?) that you had to use kaeya the bridge maker for in order to get to im sorry i’ll stop w the kaeya slander

she’ll get you seashell bracelets or necklaces idk why but she gives me those vIBES 

they’re super nice ones too, only the highest quality for you 

yes she’s a bruh girl but i also see her as someone who would enjoy intimate moments like watching the sunset or something 

“yo wanna catch the sunset, i heard it looks sick from the jade chamber” said before ahem it yk fell from the sky

kasdjksfashfjsahf yes ofc i would love to catch the sunset w you pls come home luv

anyways, she is a woman i would give the world for 

zhongli

ok gimme a sec i need to get my gentleman mode on 

this man,,, THIS MAN 

everything w him is so soft like your entire eXISTENCE w him could go in a museum it’s that beautiful 

in the morning when he visits you, he always brings you a cup of your favorite tea and a bouquet of glaze lilies he got from madame ping

holds the door for you, pushes the chair out for you, uses a napkin and brushes sauce off your lips when you’re eating - you name something sweet, he’s done it

secretly loves it when you fuss over him 

he doesn’t like to fight but say he encountered a group of hillichurls he couldn’t avoid and promptly defeated them but ended up tearing a part of his tux(?) (is it a tux? i could not tell you)

not that big of a deal, i mean it’s a scratch, he’s a 6,000 year old god, he’s dealt w much worse 

but seeing the worried crease in your brows as you usher him to sit at the table while quickly grabbing antiseptic to clean his wound

“it’s just a scratch, my dear. do not worry i’ve dealt with much worse.”

you quietly protest abt how “yes zhongli, i understand you’re an archon and have gotten worse injuries but i’m worried about infection just please let me take care of you ok? <3″ 

when you say that he feels weird emotions,,, wdym take care of him? 

he’s always taken care of himself or been expected to take care of others as the former ruling deity of liyue so having someone else genuinely worry abt his wellbeing creates a warm feeling in his chest 

he strikes me as the type to knit you something??? idk maybe it’s the grandpa vibes but i headcanon that he would knit you a scarf for the colder weather, it’s cute 

in the privacy of your home, he really likes picking you up

he loves it when you wrap your legs around his middle while he gets up to go do the dishes or smthg 

domesticity go brrrr

if you’re into making flower crowns, he would totally have you on his lap and wordlessly hand you a glaze lily whenever you expectantly hold your hand out while weaving the flowers together 

he expects you to make the crown for yourself but when you place the crown on his head and it fits perfectly while simultaneously tucking a glaze lily behind your ear, he looks at you dumbstruck 

his mouth parts open in awe and it’s quite literally the cutest thing

you’ve broken him 

thinks it’s the sweetest thing - will keep it on his head for the whole day 

he’ll even put it in water before he sleeps so it won’t wilt and he can wear it the next day <3 

scenic picnics!! scenic picnics!! 

the type to take you to the nicest spots in liyue to chat abt the history of the land w you over a cup of tea and your favorite food (whatever you like, he doesn’t mind)

recounts the people he’s met in his long life before finishing off by saying you’re by far the best person he’s met 

zhongli strangles lovingly come home soon 

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3 

[luxekook]

chapter two.

⇥ pairing: namjoon x reader; eventual bts/ot7 x reader

⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity

⇥ word count: 2.3k

⇥ warnings: 18+, cursing, chaotic namjoon, power tools, hints of poly relationships, overall pretty smut free (who AM i???)

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

characters | prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

Chapter Two

Habitat for Humanity Worksite – 9:26am

When I signed up to volunteer Saturday morning of syllabus week, I should have known I would end up regretting it. I almost punted my alarm clock out of the apartment window this morning, but instead settled a slightly more civil action – punching the shit out of the ‘off’ button.

Don’t get me wrong: I love volunteering. It’s been part of my routine since sophomore year when I was recruited for the all-women’s service society on campus – the Alphites. As a society, us Alphites volunteer around campus and in our local community each week. There’s something about doing service together that really creates bonds, and the girls in the society have quickly become some of my closest friends.

We sign up to volunteer for a variety of different service projects each week, and Habitat is my current favorite project to sign up for. As a nonprofit organization, Habitat for Humanity helps families build and improve places to call home. Currently, our regional Habitat is working on building a house from the ground up for a local family in need.

Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape, or form a very ‘handy’ person. Luckily for me, there are always a couple volunteers with construction or engineering backgrounds who are willing to teach other volunteers with less experience – or none, like me.

Since beginning to volunteer at the site last year, I have learned how to use a power saw, how to fasten siding, and how to mix, pour and level cement. It’s definitely empowering to learn new skills and also to see how my handiwork contributes to someone’s future home. I also feel lowkey badass when I get to use the power drill for anything.

Pulling up to the worksite, I clutch my cherished 24oz. Wawa coffee. I finally feel somewhat human as I park my beat-up Jeep Wrangler and hop out to meet the other volunteers for our task assignments.

The site leader Eddie – a burly retiree with a background in construction management – greets me with a huge grin, “(y/n)-doll, we missed you this summer! I can’t believe you abandoned us during the hottest months of the year.”

I roll my eyes, smiling at his teasing. Eddie’s like a teddy bear disguised as a grizzly – all rough edges and a heart of gold. “Missed you, too, Eddie.”

“Look at our progress now,” he continues, “Pretty impressive, yeah?” Nodding, I greet some regular volunteers I recognize as Eddie leads me around the house. He proceeds to show me what they had done over the summer in my absence – and they had done a lot. The house now had its full foundation and wooden framing with most of the doors and windows installed.

As we walk back to the front of the house to the main area, I sip my coffee and turn to Eddie, “So, what can I work on today, fearless leader?”

Letting out a patented ‘Eddie belly-laugh’, he replies, “I know you worked on the siding at our last site so I'm gonna have you work on where we started the siding on the right side of the house.”

Sweet, I could work with that. “Aye, aye, captain,” I respond with a lazy salute of my coffee cup. Before I can turn to start towards the scaffolding to begin, Eddie stops me.

“Oh, one more thing. I’m gonna need you to orient our new volunteer and let him shadow you today. Kid’s from the same school as you, I think… Mandatory service. Anyway, he should be here any minute.”

Shit, I know what ‘mandatory service’ means. It’s the first form of disciplinary action that the college issues and is usually the only form of disciplinary action for our athletes or for Greek life – a fact I actively resent. During my time in the Alphites, I have had to deal with some of these ‘mandatory service’ characters and they’ve never been much fun to be around.

“Ah, that’s probably him now,” Eddie startles me out of my thoughts of dread and doom as a black gleaming Tesla practically purrs down the block, swinging into the spot next to my Wrangler. Scowling, I cross my arms as I survey the stark contrast between this person’s shiny-ass luxury car and my dirty-ass well-loved Jeep.

The Tesla door opens. A Timberland booted foot emerges followed by a thick leg encased in light jeans, a tanned well-muscled arm…

No. Nope, it couldn’t be— Please, not today, Satan.

He stands with his back to us now, stretching out his large body. In only a cutoff t-shirt, his rippling back muscles might be enough to send me into an early grave.

I sigh in bitter defeat of the inevitable. Seriously, the fucking universe must have it out for me because I can’t seem to shake this stupid fucking fraternity.

As if the boy feels my eyes on him, he turns. His eyes immediately clash with mine as he slams his car door, clicking the lock over his shoulder. Those eyes – golden brown beneath dark brows and a wave of bleached blonde hair. Their focus is absolute – hard – as he strolls towards us. It’s almost as if he knows the maddening effect that he has on me.

I think Eddie is speaking, but my senses are on lockdown, his words muted. My thighs tighten as my pulse picks up. Get a fucking grip, (y/n). I can’t let him know that just one look from him has me thirsty and oxygen-deprived. I can’t look away – that would be succumbing to weakness.

Instead, I hold his heated gaze as best I can as his confident gait brings him closer. God, he’s got to be at least 6 foot...

The goddamn president of BTS Kim Namjoon is getting closer and I can’t help running my eyes over him.

His thighs flex and shift beneath his jeans with every calculated step. His abs are apparent under his tight cutoff shirt emblazoned with his fraternity letters.

Namjoon stops in front of us, hands stuffed into his back pockets, biceps flexing. “Nice to finally meet you, Eddie,” Namjoon takes his eyes off me long enough to greet Eddie and shake his hand, but then they’re right back on me, “Hi, (y/n).”

He drags out my name in a such a sinful way that even old Eddie does a slight doubletake. Clearing his throat unnecessarily loudly, Eddie booms, “You two know each other?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Our differing replies sound at the same time.

“Yes,” Namjoon repeats, lips turning up in an infuriating smile, “We have several mutual friends that she’s met a couple times now. Want me to jog your memory? I’d be more than happy to do so.”

Eddie takes one look at my face and hustles off, mumbling something about support beams. I guess my inner thoughts of ‘kill, maim, slaughter’ could easily be read from my facial expression.

Namjoon opens his mouth to speak again, but I’m faster, “Listen, Kim, I don’t know who you think you are, and, quite frankly, I don’t care. What I do care about is this house and these people working on it. Don’t fuck this up for me, okay? Let’s just get through today and then you can go back to ordering around your brothers and causing general mayhem.”

I’m feeling pretty proud of my little soliloquy until I realize he’s still smiling with those blasted dimples out in full display. No, his smile has grown even wider now as he simply answers, “The semester.”

My nose crinkles in confusion, “What?”

“The semester,” he repeats, “I’m assigned here every Saturday for the rest of the semester.”

I stare at him.

He smirks back.

I stare.

His smirk begins to fade, “Uh, did you hear me?”

I stare.

“Okay, you’re creeping me out now, (y/n),” Namjoon waves his giant paw of a hand in front of my face, “How many fingers?”

I break out of my trance of denial and hiss, “What did you do? Double homicide? Serial arson? Oh my god, you were the one who blew up the science lab!”

His hand covers my mouth – it’s rough and warm and entirely disarming.

“You have quite the imagination, jagi. I’ll keep that in mind,” Namjoon chuckles, “To answer your question, I did none of the above. Now, answer a couple questions of mine: what did you do to get here and – more importantly – why did you distract Jungkook from doing his fucking job on Monday?”

I glare in response, waiting for him to remove his hand from my mouth. He takes too long, and I lick his palm. It works. He removes his hand, but from the look on his face it seems like he liked my tongue on his skin entirely too much.

Thankfully, Eddie chooses the perfect moment to yell across the site, “What are you doing just standing there, (y/n)-doll? I don’t pay you to just loiter around all day!”

“You don’t pay me at all!” I yell back, already moving towards the trailer with all the supplies to get started. Namjoon follows.

“(y/n)-doll?” his eyebrows are raised as I hand him a pair of the biggest gloves I could find, “What’s up with that?”

Taking a pair of smaller gloves for myself, I turn to look for some hammers and nails as I respond, “I’ve been here a while. He’s like my honorary grandfather at this point.”

I spot the hammers and nails tucked away on the highest corner shelf and I huff. Namjoon follows my gaze, “Need a strong, intelligent, tall young man to grab those for you?”

He’s impossible, but for some reason it draws a small smile to my face, “Yes, that’d be great.”

The smile I receive in response is so bright I wonder if it could make flowers grow, “Okay, but only if answer my questions, (y/n).”

I shrug, trying not to notice how his cutoff shirt rises as he stretches to reach the upper shelf. I catch a sudden glimpse of his abs, and I praise every god out there that hot weather can be blamed for my sudden onset of sweat. 

Clearing my throat, I laugh lightly, “Fine, first of all, I didn’t ‘distract’ Jeon. I just had a temporary lapse in judgement. Besides, he came to me all on his own.” His back muscles tense up at my words, but I continue, “And second of all, there’s no juicy story of how I got here. I just volunteer here every Saturday for the Alphites.”

The sound of a hammer hitting the floor startles me as he whirls around, “You’re an Alphite?”

Namjoon’s tone is one of disbelief and it’s a tone I do not appreciate, “Yes, why is that so hard to believe?” My arms cross defensively, “I’ve been a sister since my sophomore year...”

I trail off. He’s still gawking at me ridiculously. Narrowing my eyes, I stride across the trailer and grab his chin, closing his mouth for him, “Watch out, Kim, you’re gonna catch flies.”

Spinning on my heels, I sashay out of the trailer, nose held high in the air and satisfaction held even higher. He’ll catch up. After all, he’s basically supposed to be my bitch today.

I climb up the scaffolding next to the house’s right side and assess the siding work that has already been started. It looks pretty solid and level. I should have no issue with continuing without having to make any initial corrections.

The sound of a bucket of nails hitting the top platform I’m sitting on alerts me of Namjoon’s impending presence. Saving the bucket from teetering over the edge – a safety hazard for sure – I watch amusedly as Namjoon struggles stay upright and climb up to where I am on the scaffolding. Finally, he plops down next to me – entirely too close. I can feel his stare on my skin as I steadfastly ignore him.

“Hey, jagi,” he pokes my arm, “(y/n), listen, you just caught me off guard. I mean, you don’t seem like the type to be an Alphite – that’s all.”

Fury curls up inside me for the umpteenth time that morning, as I turn to face Namjoon with a sickly-sweet smile that has him flinching back, “Then do tell, Namjoon, what type I seem to be?”

I pick up the hammer closest to me and dip a hand into the nail bucket. The sooner this siding got done, the sooner I could haul ass out of here.

“I feel like that’s a trick question,” Namjoon sighs, rubbing a hand over his chin, “I didn’t mean anything bad by it, okay? I guess I just have always thought that your society was a bunch of mom-types—”

I cut him off with a swing of my hammer in the air, “What’s wrong with mom-types, you uncultured swine? And is serving your community really such a ‘mom’ thing to do? I’m sorry. I must have missed that memo. Here I was thinking that it was public service but go off I guess.”

He blinks, “Did you just call me an ‘uncultured swine’?”

I sniff in indignation, “Get with the times, Kim. I just roasted your ass. Now hand me that piece of siding and make yourself useful.”

“You’re so weird,” Namjoon mutters, sliding my request over to me.

“So what?” I shrug, “All the best people are weird. Now, do me a solid and explain to me why you and your ‘brothers’ keep suspiciously popping up everywhere I go.”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet?” he grins, “We’re interested.”

“What does that even mean? That you’re interested?” I wrack my brain, “As in all seven of you fuckers?”

“It means, jagi,” Namjoon pauses, leaning closer, “It means that we’re going to date the shit out of you.”

a/n: i love namjoon. that is all. 

taglist (message me to be added):

@catsandstrawberries @h5naaa @meowmeowyoongles @leftflowerprunedonut @rjsmochii @athletes-of-god @karissassirak @weallhavesecretsinthebestway @cvbachacbitch @bewitch3dforivar @honeyspillings @xxonyxpearlxx​  @valiantcollectorofsandwiches @fivesecondsofsarang 

[betweentheracks]

Updates//Recent Inactivity

Hello all! This is me finally taking some time to sit down and offer up a rundown on how life is currently going as a means of explaining my inactivity. This is a personal post that is guaranteed to be both rambling and emotional so if that is not your cup of tea, I understand and happily advise you just skip over this post as it is not relevant to the actual content this blog was intended for.

EDITED: After reading this back I now realize this is really just me spilling the tea on my own life and is laughably dishy in details which is extremely not my usual stance on my personal privacy. But idk, it was cathartic so I'm leaving it as is despite the urge to redact 70% of what I say.

I'll start with the good news that I am officially out of lockdown and have remained COVID-19 free since my return home from the hospital. This also means my son finally was allowed to come home to me which is dazzling and exciting and also a little terrible too. He's at a precocious age where tantrums are the cool way to communicate and having been gone for so long completely thrashing his established routine has caused friction. He came home and his parent was not the same as when he left; is much weaker and less energetic than before, paler and shaky - but also there's the addition of my best friend having moved in to assist and take care of me/him while we all do our best to muddle through.

The readjustment has been rough and a lot of this week has made me incredibly thankful to have practically zero memory of how I was as a child. There have been injuries: I have been whacked in the face with the metal cover for a floor vent while dozing on the sofa instead of paying rapt attention to whatever silliness he was showing off to me, there was his complete dismissal of me asking him to stay back and away from the hot oven as I pulled lunch from it's fiery jaws only to then be faced with a toddler quickly approaching with his hand raised to touch so I naturally made a move to block him and in the process I let go of the oven door which slammed upward and clamped my arm tightly between it and the inside cavern of the oven while it was set to a roasty 400 degrees Fahrenheit - earning me a mangled arm with burns of varying degrees, and then we also had that fit where it seemed like a much more grand idea to scale the babygate cordoning the stairs and I had to rush up them to stop him from tumbling face first down two flights and of course did the falling all on my own and did it backwards then slammed painfully into the wall of the landing. This all happened within a 48hr time frame and makes me wonder why I am so catastrophically inclined.

I have bruises that range the majority of my spine courtesy of the wall and stairs, two minor first degree burns on my forearm that are in the shape of an equals and quite large despite the lack of actual pain I feel from them, and the underside of my forearm was instantly blistered then popped then melted down into a horrid glob of skin mush and sticky red-orange and is a second degree burn that I have been assured is no real cause for concern as long as I tend it with care. In all, I managed to escape my momjuries relatively unscathed and with a child that was scared senseless at having hurt his momma and is quick to listen and never stops cuddling me in the time since. Here's hoping he isn't significantly traumatized from this since exactly none of this is especially his fault and is due to my clumsy, accident-prone status in life.

So yes, The Toddler has returned home to me and after some happenings we have settled and are happy. However, his blast from the past father has suddenly just decided to reemerge after more than a year of radio silence and static and has slapped me with a custody petition. Hooray. While I have no worries on this matter due to my mother working for one of the top custody lawyers in the state and snagging him as my representation, and the utter lack of competency on my estranged baby daddy's end clearly being displayed in literally anything and everything the idiot does/says, I do have to now go through the overhaul of a custody case and that is just so weak and exhaustive. Not to mention the basis of his claims that I am not fit to raise a child are founded in my health concerns and the crazy work schedule I keep; ironically, my health is making it so that I have much less insane hours and makes this fairly moot but to each their own I guess. Also worth noting on this matter is that he only did this now because he was recently placed under penalty for child support back pay and nothing in this world matters to him like his money and this is his special way of getting one over on me for tampering with his meager earnings. (He's a wannabe musician - the soundcloud rapper sort, just so we are all on the same page here). If I thought for even a second this was a genuine desire to be an active and stable parent I would be a lot less pressed to act in favor of making it legally binding that he can only see him under a supervisory condition and share time evenly, but it just is not believable in the slightest.

So the thing is - my health is actually quite dismal presently. I'm due in for open heart surgery on the 8th of April and until then I have been doing my utmost to mind all the nagging I get from doctors, PT specialists, the surgeons that will be slicing and dicing me, and my in-family medical practitioner that sometimes remembers he is also my brother and not just an MD. But like, you guys, this surgery is terrifying and technically is two surgeries rolled into one. They'll be cracking my chest open and then stopping my heart while they lift it from where it sits sweetly unhinged and lopsided in my body and very finely shave away some of the excess muscle that has built up around the wall of my heart as well as some unfriendly scar tissue that has lingered since my last surgery years ago. Granted there is no accidental slip that nicks my ugly gargantuan heart and renders me as good as dead, once this first part is finished the other surgeon will need to be deft and very quick to place this ventricular assisting piece in the valve that has all but given up on functioning altogether and do so in the time remaining before the time limit for my heart being essentially unplugged from by body is up, which would also feasibly mean my death. Lots of exciting and terrible sounding consequences, am I right?

Well let's bear it in mind that I am just below 30 in age and therefore not duly experienced in the realm of facing down my own mortality via making all necessary legal arrangements and managing my affairs and assets so that, in event of my untimely death, the custody case still doesn't stand a chance of snatching my son away to the sad misfortune of being raised by a man that has stated openly he only has interest in his kids so far as what they can do for him/get for him in terms of benefit and that he would be unwilling to be hypocritical and never deter his children from drugs and a lifestyle of extremely questionable moral integrity and hygiene alike. Eugh. But I also have had to make sure there is a DNR in place just in case things go wrong during the operation, my will has also been finalized and notarized, all my savings and financial/material assets have been squared away to come into my child's inheritance when he is of age and, most importantly, a document that states clear and direct instructions for him to be placed in care of my mother or, if she is unwilling or incapable, he will be under custodial order and guardianship of my best friend whom he has always viewed as a pseudo-dad anyway. Legally binding and even in light of the paternity petition this document supersedes parental right by way of the provided evidence I have submitted to prove a lack of parental credibility. That's right, I spent days lowkey stalking and sleuthing about to capture what I needed to show this man for what he actually is and I have precisely zero guilt or shame for doing it; this is my child on the line and that means momma doesn't have to play by the rules of snitches getting stitches or whatever other scary street rules he tosses at me as idle threats. (He's done this routinely for all the years I have known him, and it is somehow both pathetic and hilarious because he knows for a fact that, if I wanted, I could throttle him in less time than it would take for him to form a rational thought between his drug soaked braincells - I was also a person of less than savory character not too long ago and can handle myself very well. But I digress because I am losing my track of thought.

After the surgery I will have so damn much PT and rehab, all of which will be specific to varying parts of my body that will need to be reworked and strengthened. Weeks, months of it really. This surgery is major and hits heavy enough that I will be in the hospital for at least 10-14 days just recovering from it without taking into consideration any number of complications that could pop up. Hell, if they get in there and find a situation worse than they currently have an understanding of in the limited capacity of cardiology tech can provide of such a gnarled beastly heart and realize they can't really do anything with it after all, I'll be added to the transplant list. I think this is more daunting to consider than the surgery, honestly.

In that way that doctors have about them, I was "comforted" by being informed that this was an inevitability and I would have been faced with this in a matter of years - less than a handful actually - but the way COVID-19 chewed through me sped it up. I'm sure my years of substance issues were also very helpful in this endeavor, but either way I still am unsure whether I feel better knowing this or not? Mostly I think I feel conflicted and hopeful tempered with the caution of life being super shady in the ways it has often brought me to the doorsteps of dying in situations that seem like odd chance. I also am gifted with being so capable in jinxing myself that I brought myself to COVID-19 ("The way life is going I'll probably square up with Rona next week or some bullshit." Positive test flagged within the following week) and also into labor ("Watch me go into labor on Labor Day since that would be the sort of universal pun that would strike my bad penny having ass." Indeed hatched my youngling on Labor Day of that year) by saying some things within the scope of my bad humor that instantly manifested as reality so I'm not taking any risks here lol.

The gist is that life is really stirring up the winds over here and so I haven't been online and posting anything that would make my blog valid in a fat minute. I do apologize for this and also for the fact that this post took me nearly a week to type up, but when things calm a little I will be back in full. For the time being I will be sporadic and do what I can when I can!

Thanks to anyone that read this mess all the way here! And a big thank you to all of you still supporting me!

[doienseatee]

One with the Star

GIF IS MINE 

Pairing: Doyoung x Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers, Fluff, College

Note: I haven’t proofread this (as always) but here it is! I’m so sorry it took me so long to finish this one. I wanted it to be perfect (at least for me sksksks) next chapter will be in Doyoung’s POV so stay tuned for it i guess? I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Here’s a list of the songs that I listened to while writing this (they’re not exactly relevant to the plot but they made me feel good and set my mood to write hehe)

I LOVE YOU (TREASURE)  I LIKE U (NIKI) ILYSB STRIPPED (LANY) STILL INTO U (PARAMORE) YOU BELONG WITH ME (TAYLOR SWIFT) LOVE STORY (TAYLOR SWIFT) STYLE (TAYLOR SWIFT) SOMEBODY TO YOU (THE VAMPS FT. DEMI LOVATO) BLACK MAGIC (LITTLE MIX)

Your likes and (especially) comments are highly appreciated :> Thank you so much if you’re still here and I hope I won’t disappoint you. I can’t wait to write this story in Doyoung’s POV and I hope you are too :> Thank you so much and enjoy! 

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: You developed a crush on the school band’s vocalist and somehow got close with him when you friend, Jungwoo, joined them. You’re too shy to make a move and so you are more than happy to be friends with a star like him.

CHAPTER 3

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A lot of things were going through your head when you read Doyoung’s text message. 

“Did he really say “date”??”

“Why is he inviting me again?”

“Is he interested in me or he’s just naturally friendly?

“Did he mean “date” in a romantic way?”

“Is it really Doyoung who texted me??”

are just a few questions that you can’t seem to find the answers. You didn’t know how to react and most certainly, you didn’t know what to reply back. You didn’t want your response to come off like you’re excited and gushing over his invitation. You also didn’t want to seem like you’re being forced because certainly you’re not. You didn’t know what to do and the fact that your 2 hour class is already halfway through and you still haven’t responded to his message isn’t helping at all.

“Sure!” too boring

“I would love to” too obvious that you’re excited

“I’ll check my schedule” sounds like you don’t have intentions to go

You’re not even listening to your professor anymore at this rate and Doyoung is all that you could ever think about. You’re afraid of your reaction coming off as “overreacting” so you’re thoroughly thinking about it (yup, for more than an hour) because it really doesn’t make any sense to you. 

You were going through so many thoughts but your ears rang when you heard your professor say “due in 2 weeks” for a project you are totally not aware of so you forced yourself to forget about his message and direct your attention to the man’s lecture in front of you. 

--------

It was about 5PM when your professor in your last subject of the day finally dismissed you and you were on your way to meet Jungwoo in the cafe near the university since he basically bailed on you in the morning because he slept too much. 

He was already sitting in your usual spot when you arrived and you saw two cups of frappe on the table. It was supposedly his “peace offering” to you for missing the practice and leaving you alone especially he was the one that was supposed to be there since it was his first day of practice. 

“I’m sorry for not showing up but you should thank me for giving you a chance to have a date with your crush” 

and you almost spat your drink when you heard him say those words because you never told him that you are crushing on Doyoung 

“What? Do you expect me not to notice when you’re all heart eyes when you see him?”

Your shoulders fell when you realized that you weren’t lowkey at all and that Jungwoo was actually aware all this time. You felt like you were betrayed by him for not telling you that he knows but you were mostly sulking about the fact that you weren’t discreet and Doyoung could’ve found out already. 

“Seriously though! I’ve been with you for the past 3 months so I know that you have the hots for the man and I confirmed it on the audition day. You were stiff as a rock when you saw him and tried to play it cool. So not you!” 

And as much as you wanted to defend yourself, you had nothing else to say because it was all true. 

“OH RIGHT I DIDN’T TEXT HIM BACK YET!” you suddenly remembered about his message since you were occupied by your classes. 

“What?” was all that Jungwoo could say with his confused face. So of course you explained everything from the time that you ate after the cancelled practice to the exchange of numbers and to his text message asking you to have a “snack date again” tomorrow.

“DAMN!! HE LIKES YOU TOO!!!” he exclaimed while grinning from ear to ear and you hit him jokingly because his words were absurd

“No way!! He probably just meant it as a friendly date or what” you tried to deny it but you actually had some hope at the back of your head but of course you didn’t want to assume. 

“I bet my entire semester allowance that he’ll ask you out to date him after your little snack date tomorrow” he looks so confident and you just wanted to smack him for that 

 As much as you still wanted to argue with him, you needed to answer Doyoung’s message as soon as possible. He might think you’re ignoring him or what so you ask Jungwoo what to reply in his point of view of a guy and not as your friend 

“I’m down for it!” will definitely make me happy and probably Doyoung too” was his advice but you asked him if it’s okay and doesn’t make your feeling too obvious 

“Just go for it!! I swear, he’s interested in you and your reply will give him hope!” so you just shrugged and started to type your reply.

As you were about to send your reply, you hesitated and put your phone down but Jungwoo snatched it away and he sent it instead and so you hit him again for the second time of the day

“Trust me on this one please, you can unfriend me if things will go wrong” and you did trust his words and let a little hope ignite in you. 

You went on and asked him how he found out about your little crush on his now bandmate and it consists of “your interest when i introduced you to them on the acquaintance party”, “i caught you stalking his instagram profile”, “i saw your eyes form a heart shape when you saw him passing by in the school cafe” 

You were thinking of what excuse to say although there was no escape when the both of you were interrupted when your phone rang indicating a text message was sent to you. 

“It’s probably Doyoung! Check it!!!” Jungwoo was so excited (and you) and you tried to check your phone screen only to see that he did replied to you 

“See! He instantly replied!! He’s interested in you!!!” you tried to dodge him and his assumptions and composed yourself to reply to whatever Doyoung sent but again, Jungwoo snatched your phone so he can “read it for you”  

“Great! I thought you’ll reject my invitation, I was kinda waiting for your reply” 

“See! I told you!! He likes you too!!” he reacted and you just snatched your phone away from him to confirm if what he read was true and indeed it was real. 

“WTF” was all you could say 

“Reply to him ASAP!!!” your friend was urging you to do so but again you didn’t know what to say, it’s not as if you could say “I didn’t know how to reply so sorry lol” or “I was overwhelmed so I didn’t know what to reply” 

“Just tell him you’re busy and didn’t see his message until your last class, that’s enough to put him under the impression that you were just busy and not trying to ignore him or whatever” Jungwoo did make sense so you tried typing 

And so your conversation went like: 

“Oh no! I was just busy with my class so I didn’t notice your text message :)”

“I was worried that you didn’t want to be with me that’s why” 

“I enjoyed your company a while ago! I won’t say no to you”

“That’s a relief! Would you mind if I take you out on a lunch date tomorrow instead of a snack date?”

“I’m up for anything. My class starts at 2PM tomorrow so it’s all good”

“Should I pick you up or something?”

you were shocked with his offer but you actually liked it but you didn’t want to admit it since you might be a nuisance to him if you’ll agree.

at this point, Jungwoo’s trying to peek at your conversation since you’ve been texting non-stop for the last 10 minutes and completely ignored his presence but you didn’t mind him and continued to speak to Doyoung 

“It’s fine! I don’t want to disturb you. Let’s just meet up somewhere?”

“I insist and besides, I don’t have any classes tomorrow so I’m free all day.”

“Are you sure? I can just take the bus or something”

“I’m 200% sure. So can I have your address? :)”

//

“DAMN” 

“Why? What happened?” Jungwoo immediately asked you when he hear your voice 

“He’s picking me up on our house tomorrow”

“What did I tell you!! He likes you!!!!!” he was so adamant and you calmed him down to avoid getting attention from the people in the cafe 

“I won’t agree until he directly tells me okay? I’ll just assume this is a friendly date” but you know deep inside that you were hoping 

30 minutes later, you both separated and went to your respective homes. Jungwoo didn’t say his usual goodbyes and instead wished you luck with your “future lovelife” and wished to see you holding hands with Doyoung the next time you’ll meet. 

-------

You are not a morning person and so being up at 8 AM is an achievement but your excitement didn’t really let you sleep that much and the 3 hours of sleep felt just like a blink to you. A lot of things were going through your head as to how your day will go by with Doyoung. 

You actually talked to him until 10PM the night before and just pretty much talked about yourselves and it was like a continuation of your conversation when you were eating.

He radiates comfortability and he feels like home with the short span of time that you talked to him and now you weren’t feeling awkward and you felt comfortable with the thought of being with him. 

Although the thought of him liking you does still bother you and is making you nervous but you tried to convince yourself that whatever happens, you’ll still consider him as your friend and that’s more than enough. 

He’ll pick you up at 11AM yet you were up at 8 to start preparing and look decent enough. You know your fashion and makeup so it shouldn’t be a problem but it still did. 

You tried to scrub every part of your body to look and feel good. You didn’t notice that you spent almost an hour in the shower doing all of the excess rituals than your usual half an hour and short routine when taking a bath. 

Nothing in your closet seems perfect enough to your liking. It was as if half of your wardrobe was gone but in reality, they’re just the same and you just can’t pick an outfit.

After a good 30 minutes of debating with your closet, you settled with a white surplice top and blue culotte pants paired with a white doll shoes and you were now left with the makeup look. 

It was either a natural look or an almost full glam look but you went with a natural look. You put on Powder, Mascara, Blush and a coral toned Lipstick to finish your makeup and unknowingly, the simplicity brought out your confidence and you thought that you were now ready to meet Doyoung. 

You were still finishing your overall look around 10:30 AM when he called you to say that he is now on the way to your house to pick you up so you hurried and backpack filled with the things that you need for your class after your lunch “date” with Doyoung. 

Although it’s true that you are now comfortable with him, the lunch date with him is still different and you suddenly became nervous but you tried to keep it cool while you were waiting in your living room. Your mom did ask you where you are going but all you said was “to school” so she won’t ask you further questions if you’ll say “a date”. Knowing your mom, she’s talkative so your conversation won’t end and you promise to tell her everything after. You were too occupied thinking of Doyoung to chit chat with her. 

The screen of your phone lit up with Doyoung’s “I’m here” text message so you said goodbye to your mom and went out to greet Doyoung in his black BMW car. 

The window in the passenger’s seat was open and he was waving from the inside. He was wearing a black polo shirt with a pair of white jeans and black sneakers. You were about to drown in your thoughts of how good he looked but he started to talk and ask how was your sleep so all the time that you were traveling to whatever restaurant he’s bringing you,  you just talked to him like how you texted. 

After a good 15 minute drive, he declared that you were now in your destination and you prepared to go out of the car but he told you to stay put and he rushed to open the car for you. You just mumbled a small “thank you” for his gesture even though it’s melting you on the inside. 

The restaurant wasn’t that far from your university since he didn’t want you to be late for your class and you mentally screamed at how thoughtful he was. It wasn’t a fine dining restaurant but not something that students are usually going to hang out at. It has a chill ambiance and you loved it. 

“Do you like the place? I’m sorry I still don’t have any idea of what you like so I brought you to one of my family’s favorite.” Doyoung had an apologetic look while he said those words to you but you assured him that it was fine and you liked it.

“You can choose the restaurant next time” he offered but you were shocked with the “next time”

so you asked him 

“Only if you want to because for me I would love to take you out on a date again after this” and how could you say no to him when he was smiling like an adorable bunny

-----

The food, the place and the person you’re with were all great and you had a good time so you were really happy and you thanked Doyoung as you were both walking to the parking lot. 

“I should be the one thanking you for accepting my invitation. I thought you’d say no to be honest”

“Why would you think that I won’t say yes?” you asked him as he was about to start the engine of the car 

“You’re too beautiful for me, I didn’t think I had a chance. Plus I really thought Jungwoo was your boyfriend” 

“What do you mean beautiful? I’m not” you tried to laugh your confusion because between the both of you, he was the one that’s unreachable so it was crazy to hear those words from him 

“I’m not kidding! I like you!” he stopped trying to start the car and looked at your eyes with conviction 

“what?” you were a mess and you were trying to understand everything that’s going on although you kind of prepared yourself for this but you were expecting the worst case scenario so you’re still confused as hell.

“I like you, a lot! And I actually invited you today to ask if you’d like to go out with me but I got too shy when we were eating.” he looked away after his confession and you also didn’t know what to do

your face displayed nothing but shock and confusion with his confession and you just can’t believe your crush actually likes you so all you can say is “what?” and he just grabbed your hands and interlocked them with his while saying

“I like you so much and I’ll do everything for you to be my girlfriend”

----------------

THANK YOU!

[innately-pretentious]

Let’s go out. (Klaus Hargreeves x Reader)

Request: Heyaa hope ur ok! You write Klaus so well and was wondering if I could request one where the reader and him get ready for a night out? I love ur blog! 💛

A/N: Ahh thank you so much! This is lowkey not proof read so forgive any mistakes, hope this is alright for you! ❤️✨

It was supposed to be a quiet night in, spending some much needed alone time together. Work had been hectic, and although you loved it, you unfortunately had to work late for the majority of nights this week, much to Klaus’ dismay.

Shrugging off your coat and kicking off your shoes, throwing your keys onto the table next to the door, you let out a sigh as you welcomed the familiar view of you apartment. The two of you had only been living together for a brief time, but despite only having this place for two months, you both have made it feel like a home. The first week had mainly consisted of running around various second-hand shops looking for mismatched furniture to buy. Being kicked out of IKEA for playing hide and seek or jumping across the sofas, he insisted that this was a vital test for such a large investment. Despite all this he definitely had an eye for design, you trusted him with the interior decor. You swear you even caught him making a Pinterest board once.

You slowly make your way into the apartment, hearing the faint sound of music coming from the kitchen. Cracking open the door slightly, you can’t help but smile at what you see. He is sloppily dressed, a pair of skinny jeans with no shoes, hair slightly scruffy, yesterdays eyeliner still slightly smeared across his lids, and your colourful robe loosely draped over his shoulders, hardly doing anything to hide the fact he has no shirt on. He glides around the kitchen with drink in one hand and a large spoon in the other, eyes shut as he dances to the music. Even when he is dancing alone, he always manages to seem elegant. Swaying and spinning around the kitchen, your robe flowing behind him as he continues working on dinner.

It’s at this point you decide to make yourself known, pushing the door open a little further and entering the room.

“Y/N! Didn’t hear you come in!” He said, putting his drink and utensils down to engulf you in a hug.

“I didn’t want to disturb your cooking, I missed you,” you replied, leaning up to press a soft kiss onto his lips.

“Please, if anything distract me more, you’ve been working late all week. I’m starting to feel like a housewife waiting for her husband to return,” he said sarcastically.

“You’re the best trophy wife I could ever ask for,” you joked.

He chuckled and pulled you closer to him, encouraging you to join with his dancing. Taking both your arms and swaying you back and forth, laughing and holding his arm above you for you to spin under. You try to do the same for him, but his tall stature has him bending slightly backwards to make it under the arch your arm has created. You two slowed down as the music faded, unlinking from each other and going to grab some food. Klaus was by no means a professional chef, but he was competent enough to make a good pasta. You both head out to the balcony to watch the sunset as you eat.

“Let’s go out” He said, finishing his dinner and taking a drag from his cigarette, gazing at you hopefully.

“I don’t know Klaus, it’s getting late” You replied.

“Come on Y/N, you’ve been slaving away all week and I have been the perfect little domestic goddess and cooked you a delicious meal. The weekend has just begun and we have nowhere to be tomorrow!” He argued, you were about to say no, but you saw the excitement in his eyes. He loved nothing more than seeing where the night took you both, getting lost on stupid adventures was a well rehearsed hobby of his.

“Fine! But only because you asked so nicely.” You said.

And just like that he was beaming, he smiled a genuine smile, putting out his cig and yanking you towards your bedroom. He gently pushed you into the chair next to the dressing table, pulling out boxes full of makeup and accessories. You could tell he was itching to get his hands on you, probably coming up with some baroque-esque look for the two of you. You were always slightly envious of his clothing and makeup collection.

“I’m thinking…” He begins, putting his thumb and index fingers in the shape of a rectangle, as if he is trying to see what vision he has for you, “I’m thinking vintage with an edge, but make it fashion?” He asks, cocking his head to the side, asking subtly for your approval.

“Surprise me,” You say with a smile, “I am your canvas.”

He gleams once more and turns to your shared wardrobe. You both had such a habit of borrowing each others clothes, you thought it would be more practical to just share one. Klaus has never been one to shy away from stereotypically ‘feminine’ clothing, you often found him wearing your stuff. He grabs handfuls of different fabrics, holding them up seemingly inspecting them.

He gently took your chin in large hand, smiling and telling you to shut your eyes as he came closer with some black eyeliner. Peeking through your lashes you could see the concentration on his face. The way his eyes furrow gently, teeth holding his lower lip as he focuses on his masterpiece.

“What got you into all of this stuff in the first place?” You ask, “Fashion, dressing up, the avant-garde style?”

He pulls away as he puts the lid back on the pencil. “I’m not gonna lie, I did do my fair share of raiding Allison’s wardrobe growing up, stealing a few of her magazines from her dresser etcetera. Guess I wanted the interior to mach the exterior, my personality definitely matches my appearance, now open your eyes?”

You do and look once again at him, his eyes are scanning your face for any imperfections he may come across. Finally deciding that his work was complete, he lets you turn to the mirror to see for yourself. You gaze at your reflection, it was subtle. Well, at least more subtle than you were expecting. Just some purple glitter on your eyes, slightly leading up towards your temples. It was the kind that was almost invisible in the dark, but would shimmer when the light hit it in the right angle. Perfect. You turned back to Klaus, his head resting in his hands as he studied your face for any disapproving looks.

“It’s perfect” you said,

“C’est magnifique.”

He stands up and hands you a bunch of clothes he has carefully selected. Urging you to put them on, he seemed almost as excited as a child playing dress up. The thought struck a nerve with you, remembering his less than ideal childhood, he probably never had the chance to experience this. Not wanting to keep him waiting any longer, you gathered the clothes in your arms and headed to the bathroom to change.

“Oh so you’re shy now? I promised I wouldn’t have peaked.” He says with a wink.

You can’t help but roll your eyes at his playful flirting, shutting the door behind you to inspect what outrageous outfit he had chosen this time. Flicking through the clothes you decide to just put them on, trusting his judgement on what he feels would look best. A pair of his wide legged black trousers and a pair of combat boots, matched with a sheer black button up shirt and on of his signature long necklaces. This outfit was definitely out of your comfort zone, however, you didn’t hate it at all. Fluffing up your hair to make it look slightly lived in, you open the door to your boyfriend to let him take in the view of his creation.

He turned around as soon as he heard the door open. His face softened into a genuine smile, he stood up to see you fully. Taking in your appearance, he couldn’t help but admire you. The way his trousers hugged your waist with the shirt elegantly draped over your shoulders was stunning. He stepped forwards to add some finishing touches, tucking in the shirt and undoing the top three buttons. He stopped at the third and gave you a suggestive smirk, you batted his hands away with a small chuckle.

“So give us a spin,” he smirked, which you reluctantly did, suddenly feeling slightly embarrassed as he shamelessly looked up and down your body. He noticed your hesitation and pulled you towards him by your waist.

“If you don’t like it you can take it off, you know that right?” A worried look now grazing his features, in fear he made you uncomfortable. You just smiled at his concern for you.

“I know, but your clothes just look so much better on me.”

“Brilliant” He said stifling a laugh, he began coaxing you to the door, holding out his classic black coat for you to put on. Checking one last time for your keys, phone and wallet, the two of you were ready to leave.

“M’lady…” He said, opening the door ahead and dramatically gesturing for you to go through. You head out to see where the night takes you both, arms linked together as you traverse the city, looking for excitement.

[baepsaesbae]

Parang Kape Ko. Bittersweet. || Just Like My Coffee. Bittersweet

Pairing— Kim Taehyung x reader

Genre— Fluff/Romance, Enemies to Lovers au, coffee shop au

Warnings— None

Word Count— 1.8k

Summary— You work at a coffee shop with the most annoying person ever. Kim Taehyung. 

A/N— Thank you @kitsutaes​ for requesting! I hope you like it darling. You can still request drabbles up until the end of the August with this post

You couldn’t quite place it. Something about Taehyung made your skin crawl since the very first day you laid eyes on him. To make matters worse, your manager kept pairing you together for nearly every shift (she couldn’t help it, she thought you guys looked cute together).

You despised the way girls would giggle and try to subtly give him their number after ordering their drink. You rolled your eyes every time he’d wink and flirt back with them. Each shift with just the two of you was unbearable. 

Taehyung was naturally a player, anyone could see that. Women would swoon from a mere flash of a smile. They’d be putty in his hands with a simple wink. That being said, Taehyung was so taken aback when his charms didn’t work on you. He couldn’t figure out what he did to tick you off, but it seemed like you didn’t like him from the start. That was a concept he couldn’t fathom. 

It was like a never ending game of tag that you didn’t want to play, and you couldn’t risk Taehyung finally catching up to you. The more you showed your disdain for Taehyung, the more intrigued he’d be by you, thus spurring him to pester you even more. 

“Hey grumpy grump! How was your weekend?” Taehyung greeted you as you clocked in.

“It was fine. Yours?” you replied with indifference.

“It was chill, kinda lowkey. I actually found a cool hole in the wall restaurant that I thought maybe we could--”

“I’m busy,” you interrupted without looking at him.

“But I didn’t even say when--”

“You don’t need to. I’m very busy all the time,” you walked away to prep the machines before Taehyung could even reply. 

“C’mon, just give me a chance! It doesn’t even have to be a date. I genuinely want to get to know you. Why do you hate me so much?” Taehyung pouted as he followed you around like a lost puppy. 

“Prep the tables and chairs, please,” you commanded without acknowledging his whining.

“Yes ma’am. See? I’m such a good boy, I always listen to you,” he called out from across the cafe as he unstacked chairs. 

You ignored him. This was your normal routine every time you worked with Taehyung. He seemed to get a thrill every time he riled you up, so you’ve learned not to give him the satisfaction. Straight up ignoring him was the best way to go. 

Taehyung became preoccupied with taking orders once the customers started piling in. You absentmindedly made the drinks, a task that you could now do with your eyes closed. You thought about what Taehyung said. Sure, he’s an annoying prick who knows he’s too handsome for his own good, but does that really justify your hatred for him?

You hated to admit it, but Taehyung is the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life. Your heart fluttered every time he teased you, and though you gave off the impression that you wouldn’t care if he disappeared off the face of the Earth, you were secretly pleased with the attention he gave you. On occasion, you’ve caught glimpses of random girls glaring at you while Taehyung was messing around with you. 

You shook your head as you powered up the blender to make a double mocha frappe with 2 extra shots of espresso. What the hell were you thinking? This is exactly why you don’t like Taehyung. He lives in your mind rent free. 

“I think that frappe is blended enough,” Taehyung observed. He appeared out of nowhere, startling you.

“You good?” he asked with a hint of concern.

“I’m fine,” you answered curtly as you handed him the drink. 

“Frappe for Tiffany!” Taehyung called out before returning his attention to you, “I was serious earlier by the way. This little game of ours is fun, but I honestly want to get to know you. Plus, you never actually talk to me so I don’t know what I did to make you hate my guts or whatever. Unless you’re like a massive introvert or something. I’d respect that of course, but like I said I literally wouldn’t know that because you never talk to me so--”

“Okay! Fine! I’ll go with you to that stupid restaurant. Will you finally shut up now?” you snapped. 

“Aw, so you do listen when I talk to you. It’s a date! Or not, that’s up to you. You free after this shift?” he lifted his eyebrows with excitement. 

“Yeah,” you begrudgingly nodded. 

The rest of the shift flew by with the nonstop stream of customers. The morning rush is always tough, but Taehyung handled the flow perfectly every time. His demeanor calms even the most irate caffeine addicted customers.

“I’m starving,” Taehyung announced as he clocked out. 

“What kind of food does the restaurant serve?” you asked as your stomach rumbled.

“Hamburgers!” Taehyung beamed. 

“Cool. Text me the address and I’ll meet you there,” you say as you head towards your car.

“Wait! It’s actually not too far from here. There’s no need to take two vehicles,” Taehyung rubbed the back of his neck.

“Do you wanna ride in my car?” you asked quizzically. 

“Actually I wanted to take you for a ride. On my bike,” he quickly added.

“Sure I guess. You got a little basket for me to ride in or something?” you attempted to be friendly. 

“Not quite. I don’t have a spare helmet, but I can assure you that I’m a safe driver,” he says as he leads you to his parking spot.

“You have a moped?” you asked in shock. You couldn’t help but smile at the cute little lavender moped that Taehyung probably zips around on every day.

“Yeah, I love this little sucker. It used to be my sister’s, that’s why it’s purple. But it’s badass on the streets,” Taehyung patted the seat.

“So where am I sitting?” you asked even though you already knew the answer. 

“You’d be safest sitting behind me. You can hold onto me if you’d like. For safety reasons, of course,” he smiled. 

You climbed onto the moped after him. You didn’t want to hold onto him, but you whimpered and quickly wrapped your arms around him as soon as he took off. The tiny moped was surprisingly fast, and since it was so small, you could practically feel every bump on the road. 

Taehyung smirked as you hung onto him tightly. “Cute,” he thought. 

Taehyung’s scent enveloped you as you leaned into his back. You’ve grown accustomed to his smell since you were always together at work, but being up close and personal with him was a different story. He had a comforting smell that made you want to snuggle up to him even more. You wondered which cologne he was wearing, just in case you wanted to pick it up for yourself. 

You felt how solid his torso was as you clung to him. Your thoughts lingered to his earlier question yet again. Why did you hate him so much? He really didn’t seem like a bad guy. In fact, the opposite is true. Sure he could be a bit flirty, but he was also always kind and gentle. You realized that he never flirted with the customers first, he simply returned their energy. 

“We’re here!” Taehyung happily announced.

He led you into a small restaurant that appeared to be family owned. The owners greeted Taehyung by his first name, indicating that he’s probably a regular customer. 

“Welcome in! And who’s this lovely lady you brought with you?” the man greeted. 

“Taehyung! Is this this coffee shop girl? She’s just as gorgeous as you said she wa--” his wife began to ramble until Taehyung cut her off.

“I’ll have two of the usuals please. Oh, and two sodas. Thanks guys,” Taehyung ordered quickly before bringing you over to a small table in the corner. 

“How much do I owe you?” you inquired as you took out your wallet.

“Nothing. This is my treat. I’m surprised you finally agreed to hangout with me,” Taehyung smiled as he shifted his weight in his chair.

“What was that lady saying before you ordered?” you tilted your head.

“She uh, was telling me about the daily special,” Taehyung lied.

“No she wasn’t. I was right next to you, Taehyung. Am I the coffee shop girl?” you teased, delighted that the tables have turned. 

“I mean you are a girl and you do work in a coffee shop. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re THE coffee shop girl…” Taehyung was flustered. 

“Is this a date or are we just hanging out?” you pressed further. 

“Which would you like it to be?” Taehyung retorted.

“I asked first,” you countered.

“I guess I can’t argue with that. I would prefer this to be a date. But since you hate me I’d happily settle for us just hanging out,” he admitted. 

“I wouldn’t say that I hate you…” you trailed off.

“Oh really? Then why do you always ignore me and only talk to me to boss me around. I find that hot by the way, but we don’t have to get into that right now,” he smirked. 

“I...I don’t know. Your face always bothered me I suppose,” you answered thoughtfully. 

“My face?” Taehyung burst out into a fit of laughter, “___, am I so ugly that you just can’t stand being around me?”

“The opposite actually. Oh what the hell, we’re here anyway. You’re so goddamn handsome it’s aggravating. You’re so nice it’s unnerving. And when you talk to me it’s like you’ve known me forever. If I didn’t act so cold towards you I would’ve fallen for you so easily,” you finally got everything off of your chest.  

An awkward silence filled the room and you began to regret coming clean. The owner came by with the burgers and you noticed the ketchup was done in the shape of a heart.

“Damn,” was all that Taehyung replied after a while.

You silently nodded as you bit into your burger. 

“I’m glad I kept bugging you then. I thought you were a cutie during orientation. I knew you weren’t actually a bitch because I’ve seen the way you interact with people who aren’t me. You’re such a sweetheart. Also please don’t think I’m a creep for watching you at work sometimes,” he chuckled. 

“I’m sorry for being so cold towards you. I’m not really good with processing emotions and all that,” you blushed, “But now that everything's out in the open, I’d be willing to let my walls down I guess.” 

“Sure. We can take it one date at a time. And maybe you could actually talk to me at work?” Taehyung gave you big puppy eyes.

“Maybe. I’ll see what I can do,” you failed to suppress a smile.

Kim Taehyung might not be too shabby after all.

Published August 9th, 2020. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2020 Baepsaesbae.

[chimchimsauce]

Hit or Miss (2)

In a desperate attempt to rebuke the advances of her overly energetic coworker, YN asks her quiet roommate Jungkook to pretend to be her boyfriend until Taehyung lays off. But YN comes to realize that there’s more to the quiet man than she could have ever imagined.

I guess they never miss, huh?

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Chapter One

Chapter Two - Take My Hands Now

Jungkook sleeps through the rest of the day, forcing YN to go to work on Tuesday without getting her story straight with him. She's half afraid that Jungkook's texted her coworker in the middle of the night and told him to clown her, but thankfully that doesn't seem to be the case. When Taehyung shows up for his shift partway through hers, YN is greeted with a preppy smile and his usual greetings minus the overly affectionate pet names. He doesn't try to speak much to her at all, never purposefully seeking her out or lurking near the shelves she has to restock. It's so peaceful that YN actually enjoys her shift, finding herself humming along quietly to songs she's heard on the radio as she files books according to the Dewey decimal system.

She's almost sad when her shift is over and she has to head to class. By the time her two-hour lecture is over, she's convinced her stomach is seconds away from consuming her liver, the anxiety caused by the fake boyfriend situation having prevented her from eating anything since her lunch break yesterday.

Almost as if he knew what she was thinking, YN receives a text from Jungkook as she leaves her classroom.

Hey, wanna grab lunch? We need to talk about this boyfriend thing

Above this text, there are only a couple more messages, most of them where YN had asked Jungkook to pick up toilet paper or groceries.

Yeah, sounds good. I just got out of class, where do you wanna meet?

His reply is instantaneous.

Einstein Bagels?

I'll be there in ten.

The restaurant is relatively empty, as it's after the typical lunch hour rush. Besides Jungkook, there's only one other patron in the store, a petite girl with airpods in and an open notebook out in front of her. YN figures it's relatively safe to talk here. She makes her way to the table her roommate is sitting at, noticing how absolutely stunning he looks. YN's steps falter until she's standing still ten feet away from him.

How had she never noticed before?

Sunlight streams in through the open window he sits beside, casting shadows on his face. His eyes are closed as he taps a pencil on the table to the beat of the song he's listening to through a single earbud stuck in his right ear. His left leg is bent, toe of expensive looking, white Nike sneakers pressed flat against the dingy linoleum while his right is fully expended, incredibly well-fitting jeans emphasizing his legs beautifully. A plain white t-shirt is tucked into his pants and secured with a simple black belt.

He's chewing on his bottom lip slightly before his eyes flick open and he looks at her, startling her out of her daze. Ignoring the question in his eyes, YN takes her seat across from him, placing her bag down.

"I'll go order first then we can talk, okay?" she says, moving to stand back up.

"Don't worry about it, I already ordered,"

"How'd you know what I wanted?"

"Who do you think tosses the old sandwiches from this place?"

"Oh," YN says, awkwardly settling back in.

"So?"

"So . . .,"

A beat of silence passes.

"You don't have any plan, do you?"

"No, not really," YN says, slumping down and sighing, "I'm so sorry about this, I shouldn't have gotten you involved. Just tell Taehyung I was lying to him and spare yourself,"

"Nah," Jungkook says, "It's too late now, I'm already involved. Even if I were to say that you're lying, Tae'd give me hell for it. Since your little lie has pretty much ruined my chances of going out and getting a real girlfriend, I'll just have to settle for you instead,"

"Excuse you?" YN says, a quick flash of hurt sparking in her.

"I don't do things halfway. Since you told Taehyung I'm your boyfriend now, I'm your boyfriend now,"

"Seriously?" YN says, not believing the words coming from his mouth are real.

"Seriously,"

"But you don't know anything about me,"

Jungkook raises an eyebrow but before he can retaliate, their order is called, Jungkook standing up to retrieve it. YN would be lying if she said she didn't watch him as he left.

He has a nice butt.

"I don't know why you think that," Jungkook says, placing her food in front of it.

It the same thing she always orders from here. He even ordered her favorite soda.

"I mean I've lived with you for two semesters. I know quite a lot about you,"

"Like what?" YN says, skeptical.

They've spoken more in the last twenty-four hours than the last eight months.

"You always sing when you're in the shower. You're cold even when it's sixty-five degrees. Your socks don't match, you can't cook for anything, you play with your hair when you're nervous, you like books more than people, you -"

"Okay, okay!" YN says, watching the smug look on Jungkook's face grow wider, "I got it,"

Jungkook unwraps his sandwich and takes a large bite.

"Since you've practically ignored my entire existence and lied to my friend about dating me, I think you owe me this much at least,"

Feeling guilty and having no real other option, YN sighs.

"Okay. Okay, whatever you say,"

"Great, then let's go," Jungkook says, standing abruptly and shoving the rest of his sandwich down his throat.

"Go where? I haven't even started my food!" YN says, picking up her meal quickly as Jungkook takes her by the arm and drags her outside, "Jungkook! Where are we going?"

"You're going to meet my friends. Taehyung already opened his fat mouth and told everybody and they’ve been blowing up my phone all day pestering me,”

“But!” YN says, stumbling over her feet slightly, “What am I going to say to them?”

She’s panicking slightly. In between all of her shifts and study sessions, she’s forgotten how not to be totally awkward in social situations.

“Just be natural!” he says, briefly turning towards her and flashing her a gorgeous smile, “They’re gonna love you!”

“I sure do,” he finishes quietly, speaking under his breath.

In ten minutes or so, the couple arrives at a building YN’s never been to before, giant windows displaying various people in soundproof rooms, singing or playing some sort of instrument.

“This is the music building,” Jungkook explains, politely opening the door for her.

Cool air rushes forward and cools her slightly sweaty face. Running and heat are never a good combination.

“Do you play?” she asks, looking around the hallway in interest.

There are several framed photographs of what appear to be large scale performances, several hundred people watching various displays of talent. There’s a large trophy case with dozens or golden prizes and ribbons inside, even a couple of dried flowers shoved between the shelves.

“Oh my God, is that you?” YN asks, letting go of Jungkook’s hand and pressing her nose onto the glass.

The photograph in particular she’s looking at shows her new boyfriend sitting on a stool, microphone in hand while a few other people stand behind him, holding instruments.

“Yeah, that was my freshman year. My friends and I managed to win the state competition for best new band,”

“Oh wow, you must be good then,” YN says, backing away from the case and smiling at him.

Handsome and talented? Maybe this lie will turn out to be a good thing.

Jungkook chuckles.

“We’re alright, I guess,”

“Alright?” a new voice interjects, causing the duo to turn around, “We’re hella good, mate, don’t sell us short,”

At the girl’s obvious look of confusion, the new man smiles brightly.

“I’m Hoseok, one of this dumbass’ friends, but you can call me Hobi,”

Hobi stands tall with straight shoulders and a bright, heart-shaped smile revealing identical dimples in his cheeks. His hair is a bizarre shade of orange, but it suits his caramel skin tone quite well.

“Hey!” Jungkook protests.

“Nice to meet you, Hobi!” YN says, the man’s bright demeanor making her feel comfortable instantly.

“You too, doll. Hey, J.K., why didn’t you tell me she was so pretty?”

YN blushes, not expecting the compliment.

“Thank you,”

“Watch it,” Jungkook jokingly threatens, resuming his pace.

YN and Hoseok follow along, all three of them falling into a simple but funny conversation. By the time they arrive at a closed wooden door, YN’s nearly in stitches from how hard she’s laughing at one of Hobi’s stories. Tears are welling up in her eyes when the door swings open to reveal a short man with his hand on his hip, looking slightly annoyed.

“Took you long enough,” he says, glaring at Jungkook before breaking into a bright smile as he meets YN’s gaze.

“Hi! I’m Jimin! Kookie’s told us a lot about you,” he says, flicking his pitch black hair out of his eyes and revealing a pair of silver dangly earrings.

“He has?” she asks, slightly confused.

Jimin’s expression changes quickly.

“Well not a ton but enough for us to make him drag you here,” he pauses for a moment, “Come in, come in!”

Jimin steps to the side and the three of them enter, YN placing her food down on a table by the door. There’s one more man inside, one even shorter than Jimin, whose earbuds are shoved in his ears, blonde head bopping slowly as he scribbles on a large legal pad.

“Yoongi!” Jimin shouts, unsuccessfully attempting to grab his attention.

“Yoongi!” Hoseok shouts, tossing a pencil at him.

The man looks incredibly annoyed when he looks up but quickly loses that expression when he notices the stranger in their midsts. He pulls the earbuds out of his ears.

“You’re YN, right?”

His voice is considerably lower than she expected to come from such a little man.

“Ah, yeah. I’m Jungkook’s girlfriend,”

It feels bizarre to say that.

“I know. I’m glad you could make it,”

“Me too,” YN says, even though she’s not exactly sure what she’s made it to.

“Is Taehyung coming?” Jimin asks.

“Nah, he’s got work today,” Hobi says, grabbing an electric blue sitting on the stadium bleachers in the room.

YN frowns slightly. Usually, Taehyung doesn’t work this shift at the library.

“Does he have another job?” she asks, sitting down a bit away from Hobi and unwrapping her sandwich.

“Ah, yeah,” Yoongi says, standing and placing his legal pad down.

“You boys ready?” Jungkook says, picking up a microphone from the wall.

“Yup, let’s go!”

YN spends the next hour and a half being absolutely blown away. Hoseok was right, Jungkook did sell their band short. She completely understands how they were able to win at the state level. Each one of them is incredibly talented. Jungkook sings the lead vocals, assisted by Jimin. Hoseok plays every note on the guitar perfectly and Yoongi’s piano is nearly enough to bring her to tears. At first glance, YN would have expected them to be a more traditional band, but most of the songs they play are slow and soulful, nearly erotic. Any fun loving personalities they previous had have been completely masked by a sure, nearly painful persona, the look in Jungkook’s eyes causing YN’s skin to erupt in goosebumps. When they finish rehearsal, YN is shell shocked.

“So,” Jungkook begins, slightly out of breath, “What did you think?”

“What did I - you’re amazing! So amazing, what the heck! All of you are so talented, oh my God,” YN says, addressing all of them.

“Thank you!” they all chorus.

As Jungkook and YN are walking back to their apartment, neither of them having any more classes for the day, YN can’t help but stare at him in shock.

“What?” he asks, turning around and walking backward.

“I just . . . why did you agree to go along with my stupid lie? You’re actually so amazing. I don’t get it,”

“Amazing? How?”

“Are you being serious?” YN asks, flabbergasted, “You’re incredibly attractive, you dress like a model, and your voice is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I really don’t get it, you should take laughed in my face as soon as I asked you about dating me,”

Jungkook stops so abruptly that YN bumps into his chest.

“What?” she asks, surprised by the look on his face.

“Don’t say that,” his voice deadly serious.

YN is silent, not quite sure how to react.

“I have a confession to make. I agreed to date you because I like you,”

“Me? Why?” YN asks, genuinely confused.

He’s at least four points more attractive than she is, hands down. She doesn’t do anything remotely interesting. She’s not even good at keeping their house clean.

“Why does anybody like anybody? I just do,”

“Okay,” YN says, not really believing him.

“Give me your hands,”

“What?”

Jungkook extends both of his hands, palm up.

“Take my hands now,”

Slowly glancing between his hands and his face, YN reaches out, laying her palms on top of his.

“Don’t worry, I’ll prove it to you,”

Chapter Three

[softstraykidsimagines]

Boyfriend!Seungmin Stray Kids

ALRIGHTY

Our lovely fluffy Seungmin

He’s lowkey becoming bias wrecker for me whoops

Let’s get started!!

During when he has a crush on you

Ohhhh boy

He’s gonna be insanely shy

It’s adorable

He’ll try to do little things to make you happy

From complementing you

To buying you something small like a key chain

But it’s always something meaningful

Something that reminds you of him

Let’s not discard the fact that anytime he actually does something like this for you

He’s gonna sprint away before you can even thank him properly

And he’ll hide somewhere so that you can’t see or hear him squeal with joy

Ok it’s official I am soft for Seungmin

You don’t really have too much doubt about him liking you

You’ve picked up remarkably fast how shy he is with you compared to when he’s with the rest of SK 

And you figured he had an ulterior motive when he happened to just “think of you” and buy something

Or when he teases you but quickly apologises and tells you he doesn’t mean it 

He’s just not very subtle 

So you’re rather upfront with him one day when you ask

“Soooo, I’ve been wondering…. why have you been so sweet to me? With all the nice gifts and stuff?”

He would immediately go red in the face

His eyes would go wide

And he’d just stand there a moment with his mouth hanging open not knowing wtf to do

And you feel kinda bad tbh

No one likes being in such an awkward situation so the way you just asked him out-of-the-blue seemed almost cruel

He finally managed to stutter out

“W-well umm…. I k-kinda… sort o-of l-like you…?”

It deadass took him a whole 30sec to finish

And you’re doing an Irish jig on the inside cause

WOOT WOOT he likes you too!!

“I really like you too, Seungmin” you say quickly before he can run off in embarrassment

He looks at you hella confused like

The person he’s liked for so freaking long likes him back?? Or is he dreaming??? Whatishappeningrightnow????

SeungminHasStoppedWorking.jpg

So you tell him where you want to hang out in the future

And there we go you’ve successfully planned your first date woohoo!!

Dates with this bean are soft and laid back

Ice cream dates

Coffee dates

Just wandering-around-for-no-reason dates

It’s so relaxing

Of course until one of you holds the other’s hand

Then it’s skyrocketing heart rates

And pink cheeks

At the end of your 2nd or 3rd date, he’d finally muster the courage to kiss you....

On the cheek haha you thought 

As you’re saying goodbye

Leaving you flustered af as he runs away yelling that he’ll text you later

I don’t think he’ll have the guts to kiss you first tho 

It’s up to you my friend

You’ll be sitting on a bench somewhere, just talking

And he just

Randomly

Pokes your cheek.

And you look at him like wtf man why

And he just turns away grinning

So you get cheeky, planning on making this sudden burst of confidence melt faster than snow in the sun

So you swoop in and peck his cheek

He blushes like crazy but he refuses to let you win

So he looks at you a moment

With a slight smirk on his face

Seriously where did all this confidence come from he was a shy child a minute ago tf?

And he kisses you right on the nose

Needless to say that surprised you

And spur of the moment

You decide you’re gonna kiss him smack on the lips

His eyes are wide as all hell

But he relaxes a split second later, kissing you back softly

You both part smiling slightly

Before he whisper-screeches, hiding his face in his hands, all embarrassed

And you also blush like crazy, also fighting the urge to run away

GAH THIS IS SO CUTE 

When he introduces you to the rest of the group

Oh

My god

It’s gonna be chaos I swear

Everyone’s gonna welcome you politely and enthusiastically

And then they’ll start poking fun at Seungmin

“AWWWW they’re so lovely! How on earth did you get them to date you??” Says Jisung

“I bet he pays them” replies Minho, cackling

“Must have been a lot of money” chipped in Changbin, enjoying himself 

All the while Seungmin makes a face like ‘this is the shit I need to put up with all the time good lord’

“Come on guys! Of course y/n didn’t agree to this for money” yells Jeongin

Seungmin is about to thank him when he finishes:

“They obviously came to meet me through Hyung” and he sprints off at top speed with Seungmin hot on his heels screaming bloody murder

“Please take care of him, y/n” Chan says quietly while the other boys guffaw at the two youngest’s behavior. “He really likes you”

And that’s exactly what you do

You guys have got each others back

No matter what

Someone tries to offend you in any way, shape or form 

And he’s there in front of you like a human shield ready to fight 

If he gets sick you’re there as quick as a flash with everything he needs, all the way from cold remedies to recipes for hot soup

While you’re making sure he’s not burning up, he’ll just whisper

“Can I just cuddle you? I swear I won’t sneeze on you”

So you just lie there holding each other the entire day

He keeps his promise and doesn’t sneeze on you btw

When you’re sick, he’s not gonna know what the hell to do

Lost puppy 

He’ll run around trying to find the right meds for you (he’ll take the time to read each label to make sure it’s the right one)

He’ll try to make soup it doesn’t work

But after a while he’ll calm down and sit with you to watch something on TV

Apologising that he couldn’t make your fav meal 

Makes up for it by buying takeout 

Man I want takeout now :(

He can sometimes feel down about the day

Something might have happened at the fansign/performance, he might feel really tired and fed up with work

So it’s your job to be there and comfort him 

You just wrap your arms around him and sit with his head on your shoulder 

And he cries silently with you, grateful that you’re with him 

Guess who’s emo while writing this

Sometimes days can get bad enough that he starts to shut you out all-together 

Seungmin isn’t the direct type 

He isn’t gonna start an argument because he’s stressed 

He’s gonna avoid any kind of conflict 

So he avoids you, ignores you, refuses to talk to you when he’s too upset 

Because he doesn’t want to lash out and hurt you 

But he’ll notice when he does this that it actually does hurt you 

Almost more than an argument would 

Because you want to help 

And he won’t let you 

So he’ll eventually come to talk to you, his head bowed and eyes glimmering with tears 

And he’ll just hug you, asking for you to forgive how stupid he can be 

RIGHT back to fluff because I don’t want to cry rn 

He loves to teach you to sing his parts in every song 

He feels you can understand his work better and be closer to him 

You two will end up sometimes randomly singing his part in a song at the top of your lungs in the dorm, in turn pissing off the rest of the boys 

You’ll both have singing competitions: who can sing the highest, lowest, longest, or most dramatically 

And you both end up collapsing from laughing too hard 

He’s gonna try to speak English around you 

Just so he can practice 

Have you heard his awesome accent during ASC that is a yes from me I don’t want to forget that 

He might ask you for help but he’s mostly too stubborn and proud to so he’ll struggle for a while until you ask if he wants a helping hand 

“Hey, need help for the pronunciation, there?” 

“Nope! Nope it’s fine! I’m fine! Toooootally fine” :D 

You two like trying to learn new recipes to cook for the rest of SK 

It’s actually super fun 

And you both manage to make a few dishes without setting the dorms on fire *applause* 

And you make breakfast for them too: fried eggs! now I’m really hungry aw man 

And the boys are already teasing you talking about how you’re couple goals and how well you two go together 

Making the both of you sprint back into the kitchen, giggling like children

Seungmin is gonna ask you to meet his family first 

But it doesn’t scare you that much 

For a good reason:

He’s an angel, so he must have been raised by angels logic

You meet them and they melt when they see you 

You chat, they share pictures of Seungmin when he was little he’s gonna be close to crying from embarrassment because “COME ON YOU JUST MET” 

His sister adores you 

Tells you about the pranks she’s pulled on her poor bro in the past 

Which warrants a death glare from Seungmin 

All in all his fam are your fam because they love you as much as they love Seungmin 

He’s a lot A LOT more nervous about meeting your parents 

He’s pretty damn close to fainting when the day to meet up comes 

Pale as sheet istg 

So you gotta be there for him to cling onto like a baby koala 

Save this boy I beg of you

Nearly hides behind you when he first greets your parents 

Basically leaps out of his skin every time someone raises their voice even a little bit 

But he gets a little calmer after a while 

And starts to genuinely smile and laugh 

By the end of the day he’s a happy squish with no sign of nervousness

Success! 

In the evenings he likes to buy a crap-ton of snacks and sit with you to binge watch your fav show 

You two will probs have a competition to see who can catch the most food in their mouth sigh 

He loves when you poke his left cheek 

He’ll act cute with you if he’s asking for something 

And it’s so freaking hard to say no damn it!!

He’ll have a fucking heart attack if he sees you wearing one of his hoodies or denim jackets like how many does he actually have??

But he’ll love it 

He’s gonna grin from ear to ear saying how cute you look 

Will not let you go throughout the night

Just wants to cling to you and snuggle you to death the entire evening 

You’ve probs already guessed that he is definitely not gonna be the first one to say ‘I love you’ 

Nah he’s way to shy and lowkey scared to 

But I bet you’re gonna do it kinda by accident 

You guys have been having a dance competition 

He’s gonna be jumping around all energetic and happy 

Because he’s having the time of his life messing around with you 

And you’ll accidentally let slip: 

“You’re such a dork! This is why I love you so much” 

And both of you stop laughing and stare at each other 

While you’re mentally going OH SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE 

But Seungmin suddenly screams like a little girl 

He can’t contain himself

Runs at you at full speed 

And tackles you into a bone-crushing hug 

Making you both topple over onto the floor laughing 

Without letting you go, he’s gonna say, all giddy “I love you too!!! I was scared to say it but I’m not anymore I do love youuuuuuu!!” 

And the rest of the day you’re both skipping around, making SK wonder wtf happened to the two of you

“Are they possessed or something?” -Hyunjin 

“Who even knows with those two” -Chan  

“Guess we’ll never know” -Felix, chuckling 

Half the time they don’t get at all what happens between you two lmao 

When Stray Kids are away, Seungmin’s gonna want to FaceTime you whenever he’s free 

He’s a pouty boy who misses you senseless and forgets how to function like a proper human being when you’re not around 

SK are having to tell him specifically what to do every other minute because he keeps daydreaming about when he gets to see you again smh 

He’s gonna be so.freakin.hyper on the way back from wherever the boys were 

No one wants to sit next to him on the plane because they know all he’s gonna want to do is talk about you 

And they get enough of that on a regular basis anyway 

But they’re happy at how energetic he is when they land and he can finally see you 

He’s gonna Naruto run to you and hug you so tightly whispering how much he missed you 

And you’ll be laughing like 

“It’s been two days, buddy” 

“Yeah but it feels like AGES! It’s been an eternity and I was going insane!!” 

Seungmin most likely won’t go public about your relationship until after a year to a year-and-a-half

Wants to make sure you’re 100% ok with it 

Because he knows there will be a bit probably a lot of drama on the net about you 

He’ll post a cute selfie of the two of you 

You’re both smiling happily 

And he’ll caption it: ‘Hey everyone!! This is y/n, we’ve been together for quite a while now, and I wanted to introduce you! I hope you welcome them warmly!’ 

The internet isn’t going to shut up about you for an eternity holy shit

The entire universe ships you two 

You’re the adorable smiley couple

That everyone 

And I mean everyone 

Loves to bits 

A/N: YAY! It was really fun to write about this adorable fluff ball :D 

Also, there aren’t NEARLY as many Seungmin GIFs as there should be!

Hope everyone has a lovely day!! And feel free to request anything! Ciao <3

P.S: I love this GIF so much it’s not even funny 

[ruvatia]

MaintenLance III

Pairing: Lance x Reader Word count: 2,8k Context: You wake him up in the middle of the night because you appreciate space rocks. (lowkey doesn’t really work anymore because this was all written during season 2-3 but that’s ok) Pt1 (xxx) Pt2 (xxx)

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BEEP.

BEEP.

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The girl woke up in a flash, looking at the universe hologram that had   suddenly summoned itself in the room. She hurriedly got up and threw her blanket aside, Lance slowly waking the moment she pressed the “dismiss alarm” button.

“What’s up?” he asked groggily.

“There’s a Kromerran nearby! We have to go get some of its metal!” the girl said, practically jumping into her clothes. “Come on, Lance!”

“Urgh, god, please no. Remember how we almost lost the ship last time?”

“Come on, this metal is half-titanium and half-rune! There’s almost nothing like these wonderful creatures!”

“Finnneeee.”

You’re so lucky I have this gigantic crush on you I swear.

After what seemed like an eternity to her, she grabbed him by the hand and dragged him all the way to the main control room. There they both did the usual route towards Blue and set off for the closest Kromerran.

During the past two months since her awakening, it’s happened three times where Lance would be awaken in the middle of the night or disturbed while he was relaxing to go hunting for rare or special metal with her. Not that he hated it, seeing her excited and hearing her talk about what she loved (also he got to learn about new things which wasn’t unwelcome when she was teaching him) but it did get a little tiring to always be there for the rock-loving dork.

“After this one, I’m not escorting you unless it’ll really be useful.” he said with a big yawn, more cranky due to his lack of sleep. He just knew that when he was going to get back on the ship, he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, and neither would she.

“Okay. Promise I’ll tone it down a little bit after this one.” she grinned as they approached the planet.

Lance raised his eyebrow at her. “A little bit?”

“Everything is very useful if you know how to use them properly.”

“And you know how to use everything?”

“I like to think that I do.” she giggled, making him sigh as he looked at the planet they were approaching.

Lance noticed that it looked a little bit like a Balmera from afar and questioned about it.

“You’ve been to a Balmera already? That’s incredible!”

“Is it? I was only there for a short while though.”

“A Balmera is a great grand beast that can produce quintessence crystals, while a Kromerran is one that can produce quintenssence-compatible metal. Sure, quintenssence can be found a little everywhere, but the metal from these creatures just have a better, uhm, flow for it?”

“Soooo, Kromerrans are like Balmeras’ sisters or something like that?”

“I guess so! That’s a very nice way to put it, actually.”

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Lance let the lion land on the planet, the two stepping out of the beast with their arms linked. She seemed to know an awful lot about Kromerrans, but she couldn’t lie: it was her first time seeing one. And as luck would have it, it was a Kromerran untouched by Galra claws.

It was breathtaking. The creature was stunning upon further exploration, and the caves seemed to all link to the core, that, again, resembled a Balmera’s. It was less colorful, since what the creature had to offer was metal but everything still had the same vibe. Mysterious and most definitely alive.

“So uh, do you think we’re gonna have to do a ceremony thingy to be able to extract the metal?” he asked, looking up at the gigantic core with her. Now that he thought about it, the one he saw on the Balmera was smaller. Does that mean that this creature is healthy?

Lance turned to the girl, only to see her staring at her own reflection with wide eyes. There was a huuuuuge crystal that stretched just a little above her head. It rivaled the size of the core, but it wasn’t as shiny. Lance noticed this, and wondered why she was looking at herself.

“Hey, you listening?”

“Y-yes!” she said, turning to him in quick motion. “What is it?”

“Ceremony thingy to extract the metal?” he shrugged.

“Yes, r-right. We’re a little short-handed so we’ll have to manage with just the both of us. We don’t need that much. Blue can only carry so much after all.” she said, brushing some of her hair to the side. Didn’t help much.

“Hey, Blue can do anything he needs you to do. Trust.” he said, a smug grin coming on his face.

“Of course, Lance.” she grinned back, making his heart skip a beat.

Even though he was pretty cranky about half an hour ago, her smile always managed to instantly wake him up. Honestly he was scared that he would grow used to seeing it and thus lose his way to wake up so easily in the morning, but at the same time, the thought of her smiling more, at his side was really, really nice.

“If only the bunk beds were a little wider…”

“Did you say something?”

“UHM, NO. IT’S OKAY.” he answered in a robotic voice, his shoulders immediately hugging his neck. “I UH, UH, RIGHT. DID YOU SPOT A GOOD ONE?”

The girl grinned at him. “Yup! I think I saw a good one while we walked on the surface.”

She slowly let her fingers wrap around his wrist, pulling him away from the core’s room. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

Oh wow she was touching him and he wasn’t ready for that.

The girl dragged him back up to the surface, making sure that he was always either beside or behind him. Lance realized that he liked it better when he was beside her, but he wasn’t going to say anything about it yet.

“A little more time.” he thought to himself. “Just a little more time.”

The moment the blue lion was in sight again, the girl stopped and turned to him. “It was around here, I believe.”

Recently it’s been like this. She would touch him gently and there would be a lingering warmth that always made him crave more. Her fingers were a little rough, but he expected that since she was working with big parts, screws bolts and magical stones or whatnot.

Lance looked around him as their hands refused to separate. Most of these resembled the castle’s crystal, but smaller, and… Darker. He was staring at their reflection in a bigger one, until he let out a yelp as he was pulled from the front.

“Here! This one!”

“T-this one?”

“Yeah! It’s a peculiar shape, don’t you think?”

“Peculiar, you say.”

It looks like half a deformed butt is coming out of the ground.

“It’s unique.”

“Of course it is.” she said, finally letting his hand go. “Come, I’ll prepare to take it with us.”

Lance let his hand hang in the air before it returned to his side. “Right. Be right there.”

----- *。ヾ(｡>ｖ<｡)ﾉﾞ*。-----

“Heave-ho!” She let out with a big huff.

Lance pulled the best he could, the girl pushing what had come out of the ground. At first the crystal seemed to become smaller, but then it decided to become bigger again. This form was complex, compared to others, or maybe it was bigger than they thought it was and had many more bumps like this to come. Thankfully however, the shape popped out thanks to their relentless effort.

“Whoa!”

It fell at Lance’s side, the ground immediately closing after the stone had separated with the creature. Lance and the engineer looked at what had come out, a familiar shape coming to mind.

“Hey, it..” the girl started, gently caressing the stone.

“It looks like a heart. Well, sort of.” the brunette shrugged.

The girl nod, slowly lifting the stone with slight difficulty. “I’ll shape it when we get back to the ship. Oh, right! Take the small one too.”

“The small one?”

“It seems the Kromerran gave us this one and another small shard.” she said, gesturing the smaller piece with her chin.

Lance saw it a few feet from him, and picked it up. He had nowhere to put it for now, so he left it in the palm of his hand as he helped the girl carry the bigger one back to Blue.

Back on the ship, she immediately got to work. She sanded the smaller one first, and then grabbed one of the smallest drills she had. Curious, Lance peeked over her shoulder and approached his face to her cheek.

“What are you doing?” he asked over the drill.

To answer, she stopped the device to look up at him.

“It’s a secret.”

“What? Come on, don’t be like that.”

“It’s no fun if you know what I’m doing with this one! Run along, wait downstairs!”

Pouting, Lance retreated down the ladder that led to her workshop and dragged his feet to Blue.

“How rude, am I right buddy?”

He received a silence from the lion, but imagined him talking back and nodding.

“Women.” he would say.

----- *。ヾ(｡>ｖ<｡)ﾉﾞ*。-----

After thirty minutes, the girl came back down with the smaller shard now spherical, with odd carvings here and there. Lance pointed at it with a raised eyebrow.

“What’s all that?”

“Drawings. I had one of my machines laser them all on it.”

“L-laser?” he repeated, reminding him of tech from his world. Guess some things are just universal. Lasers being one of them.

“Mhm. Come on, let’s lay down.”

“Lay down?”

“I drilled a hole under to let me place a light there. I sanded the sphere so that it’s thin enough to let most of the light pass in some places. It’ll act like a projector.” she explained, Lance following him across the hangar.

“A-and you did all that… In the span of thirty minutes?” he asked, blinking quickly.

“Oh Lance, who do you think I am?”

“The craftiest person in the universe right now, why?”

A giggle escaped the mechanic as she placed the little projector on the ground. It was connected to a small button by a wire that Lance figured to be the on/off switch.

“Come, let’s close the lights.” she said, taking his hand again.

“But of course.” he answered in his usual flirty manner.

The girl laughed, turning her head. She hoped that he didn’t noticed how red the tip of her ears were turning red.

Before turning the lights off, she brought out a flashlight from one of her pockets.

“Wouldn’t want to trip out way back here, would we.” she grinned, Lance mimicking her expression.

She pushed the button, and the room turned dark. She switched the flashlight on, and lead Lance to the device she had left on the ground earlier. He was a little impressed that she had remembered exactly where she left it. The mechanic didn’t even need to wave the light around to make sure of where it was.

“Lay down, I’ll go get some blankets from upstairs.”

“Blankets?”

She nod. “I found them as I was working earlier. Wait here.”

His eyes followed the only source of light up and down the stairs, looking at the blankets that she had brought back.

“Are you planning on sleeping here?”

“No. I’m planning on laying here.” she said, spreading the bigger one across the ground. She sat on it and then stretched her legs before Lance sat down beside her, flinching when she suddenly closed her flashlight.

“Whoa, it is really dark.”

“Hold on, I’ll fix that…” she said, reaching for the switch.

The room lit up with clouds, mountains, rivers and the sea. There were two sceneries, one being the sea and what seemed to be under it and the other was a field with mountains in the background. It was something that you’d see Van Gogh painting, since the machine didn’t have the best accuracy on a metal such as this one. The lines on the images seemed nervous and tense, but calculated and exactly where they needed to be.

The mountain seemed to resemble a volcano a little more, with the top being pretty flat and all, but the field was something that Lance hadn’t seen in a long time. He had seen many clouds here and there upon many planets during their travels, but none compared to the fluffy ones they found back home. To his mind came along the image of Pidge geeking out at the clouds that were made of pure acid or metal or whatever else.

The other side of the room, representing the depths of the sea showed mostly dinosaurs, and other creatures that were extinct. He couldn’t recognize much of what he could usually see in textbooks. Same with the flora in the image. He didn’t know that many plants, but none of these seemed like modern plants. It looked more like something he would find in a prehistoric picture book.

A complicated emotion came over his features, but the only thing she could clearly see on his face was a small smile.

“Huh, pretty close to the real thing.” he said softly.

“Is it?”

“Yeah. It’s not all that realistic, but I can make most of these out… Sort of.”

“These are images I’ve taken from the Blue Lion. Ten thousand years in the crust of your planet, after all.” she chuckled.

“Yeah. Most of the creatures from the ocean side are extinct though, probably.”

“Extinct? They couldn’t move to other ocean to live there?”

“I mean, yes but no? Our planet’s surface is 70% water, just like our human bodies, but the water isn’t the same everywhere. We don’t have technology to travel to other galaxies like you guys either. We already have a lot of trouble getting to the end of ours.”

The Kerberos mission flashes into his mind for a second, but that seems so far away now. Lance looked away from the lights momentarily, but then focused on them again as he continued.

“The creatures on this side existed waaay before humans ever did. We call them dinosaurs. They dissapeared because their surroundings weren’t livable anymore or a meteor killed them all. But everyone doubts that it’s the second one.”

“Well, if there was a small amount of them…”

“I don’t think so, we’ve found too many remains for there to be a few.”

“Remains? From such a long time ago?”

“Yep. Just bones though. Scattered here and there around the world.”

“On land? Even though these dinosaurs are aquatic?”

“Oh, we had some that live on land too. Come to think of it, the animals that live in the oceans and lands of earth today are all their descendants. Either that or they’re weird hybrids because earth is constantly changing.”

The girl turned on her side, looking up at Lance.

“Will you… Tell me about it?”

“About… Our planet’s animals?” he said, looking back at her.

She nod with her eyes shining, which he found hard to refuse. But he did anyways, averting his eyes and scratching his chin lightly.

“I… I don’t know that much about them. I didn’t really study up about those kind of things. Pidge would be a better person to--”

“Just tell me what you know about your planet then.”

He turned back at her. “H-huh?”

“You can just tell me what you know. It doesn’t have to be detailed or planned or smart. I just…”

She bit her lips before she continued, he didn’t miss that.

“I just want to know what it’s like… What it was like for you before you became a paladin.”

He felt his heart stop. She… Wanted to know more about him. She was curious about his life and what he went through. He didn’t know what to start with though. It always started with someone talking about themselves, be it him or them, and it just came out. No one’s really asked for him to talk about himself.

“Will I… Hear about you then?” he asked, turning to his side to face her.

“I don’t… Have much to say about myself.”

RIGHT, SHE HASN’T REGAINED HER MEMORY YET.

Lance felt a very strong blush come to his face was he was getting ready to roll around in embarrassment, but she spoke up before he could even move.

“But the moment I remember something, I promise you’ll be the one I tell first.”

He felt his blush deepen.

You’ll be the one.

That hit him hard. Too hard.

“Okay.” He managed to squeak out.

Until she fell asleep, Lance spoke of everything he knew of earth to her. Eventually, she scooted closer and closer to be able to hear him better. Sleep was getting the best of her and she couldn’t hear him all that well because he was getting tired too. Eventually, they ended up close enough so that they were nestling against each other. Eventually, Lance pulled the blanket above her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t too cold. Eventually, her eyelids became too heavy.

Before she fell asleep, she could’ve sworn that he had whispered goodnight.

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[donnieluvsthings]

also idk how far along u are with the skysie oneshot but im lowkey curious what u do have thus far may i see 🥺👉👈 - boop (no pressure though ofc ofc ofc)

OH yes sure i am admittedly...not as far as i should be seeing as its been literal months but i will put it under the cut for u lmao 😎 also i kinda just am winging it so sorry if it doesnt line up with shadowstruck canon akgjskf

It’s just supposed to be a normal battle.

No, not even a battle, just a small fight! A skirmish, if Sam wants to get fancy.

Ky is headed towards a small town a few hours away to do Prince Things that Sam isn’t entirely clear on, and as his primary bodyguard, Sam is tagging along. Ky had rolled his eyes when the Queen said he should bring a guard, but he grinned when he saw Sam waiting by their horses, so Sam figures he’s secretly okay with it.

They talk as they travel, discussing everything and nothing at the same time. The energy that seems to linger under all of their conversations is especially prominent now, away from the kingdom, alone. Or at least, Sam thinks so. It’s also entirely likely that he’s just reading too far into things and all the tension is just stemming from his awkwardness.

He almost sighs in relief when they’re ambushed by a group of bandits, because he really doesn’t want to go down that thought spiral right now.

It isn’t as if these bandits pose much of a threat, anyway. They’re wielding probably-stolen swords so horribly that even Ky should be able to defeat them easily. Sam says as much out loud and gets a scoff in reply before Ky leaps off his horse and draws his sword in mid-air.

“Showoff,” Sam snickers as he slides off his own horse, and Ky grins, tossing his sword between his hands a few times before fumbling with it and scrambling to regain a good grip without stabbing himself in the foot.

“I meant to do that,” he says, all fake-confidence, and Sam just laughs again. The bandits have finally seemed to realize they’re facing trained swordsmen, but as they try to flee Sam just waves a hand and spreads their energy throughout the surrounding open air; they don’t quite collapse, but Sam can tell he’s exhausted them, at the very least.

“They don’t have powers,” he reports. Sure, it makes his own powers pretty useless, but at least he won’t have to strain himself. His brief dispersion was enough for Ky to quickly knock them out and trap them in a cage of dirt and stone.

“Teamwork!” Ky cheers, smiling over at Sam, and Sam’s heart does not flutter. Nope.

Sam turns away to hide his definitely-not-infatuated expression, beginning to collect the loot that the bandits had scattered around in their attempted escape. He hears Ky hum curiously and glances up to see him moving towards some sphere-shaped thing that almost seems to hover in the middle of the road.

“What is that?” Sam calls, and Ky shrugs.

“I dunno. It looks like it could be power related.” Ky reaches out to grab it.

“Don’t touch it!” Sam shrieks, but Ky is already holding the sphere in his hands. “Ky, we don’t know what it does, you can’t just go around touching random magic stuff—“

“I’m fine, Sam,” Ky interrupts, trying to spin the sphere on the tip of his index finger. “See?”

Sam pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in fond exasperation. “Okay, but it’s still a mysterious object that might have magic.”

There’s a light thump in response.

“Oh,” he hears Ky mumble, “you were right.” Sam’s eyes fly open just in time to see Ky’s knees buckle, the sphere at his feet. Sam darts forward to catch him before he can hit the ground, and is relieved to find that he’s still breathing, just unconscious.

Unconscious after touching an unknown magical object that does who-knows-what and what if he doesn’t wake up?

“Oh my Nja,” Sam says, staring at the prince in his arms. “Oh my Nja. Ky?”

He gently lays Ky on his back, hands fluttering around uselessly because what can he do? There was some weird object and now Ky is unconscious and Sam is supposed to protect him, how did he let this happen?

“Okay, okay,” Sam says to himself, focusing on his own voice to distract himself from his rising panic. “This is fine, it’s fine, everything’s okay!”

(It is definitely not fine.)

He gathers Ky back into his arms to push the prince up onto Sam’s horse. Thank Calli for trained royal steeds, because if the horses had run away Sam doesn’t know what he’d do. He ignores the bandits, whose earth prison had crumbled as soon as Ky passed out, instead grabbing the sphere (with gloves on, because he’s not an idiot, Ky) and throwing it in his bag. Surely there’s a book or something at the castle that has a solution, right?

Sam has to hope so. The horses take off towards the castle, and Sam feels his heart pounding in time with the hooves.

~•~

“It’s not your fault,” the Queen says to him later, after they’ve arrived back in the kingdom and the situation has been explained. Ky is lying on a bed in the medical wing, and if not for the doctors rushing all around him, he would just look like he’s sleeping.

Sam wonders if his guilt is really that obvious because this is totally his fault. He doesn’t say that to the Queen, of course, instead smiling weakly and then slipping out of the medical center with a glance over his shoulder. He doesn’t really want to leave Ky at all, but he has a feeling even the royally trained doctors don’t know what they’re dealing with. To the library it is.

He begins methodically pulling sections of books off the shelf and skims through them quickly, finding no images that match the mysterious orb, not even a mention of weird objects that make you pass out. Then again, maybe he’s looking in the wrong place completely, because if he hasn’t made it clear, he has absolutely no idea what he’s even looking for.

There’s a book on official royal Artifacts, on various powers, on the different deities; Sam brings a huge pile of books over to a table to look through them, but he finds nothing. He really hopes this isn’t some evil curse with some evil guy in a tower who needs to be defeated.

The door creaks open some time later, and Sam couldn’t say how long he’s been there. At least two hours, surely. He glances up to see Sophia entering the library and freezes.

It’s not that he’s afraid of the princess, but he completely failed to protect her brother from a little ball while she managed to maintain a clone of herself for weeks, so yeah, maybe he is a little afraid of her, actually.

“Your Highness,” Sam says quickly, ducking his head in respect, “I am so sorry about Ky—“

“Sam, it’s okay,” she interrupts. “It wasn’t your fault. He’s the one who touched the weird magical item. Also, please never call me ‘Your Highness’ ever again.”

With a quiet laugh, Sam raises his head, watching as Sophia approaches out of the corner of his eye.

“Do you have it?” she asks, sitting down next to him.

“Have what?”

Sophia raises an eyebrow. “The thing that knocked my brother out indefinitely?”

“Oh,” Sam says, though it comes out as more of an embarrassed squeak. “Uh, it’s in my bag, let me just—“

He slips on his gloves and pulls out the orb that he’d shoved out of sight after staring at it for far too long.

“Huh,” Sophia says, pursing her lips. “Well, it sure is ancient.”

“You know what it is?” Sam says, sitting up straight in his seat. The princess reaches out and takes the orb from Sam, just holding it in her hands for a moment.

Holding it with no gloves.

“Wait, no!” Sam exclaims, standing up to snatch it away from her. His heart pounds in his chest when she takes a few steps away, still not releasing the orb. “Sophia—“

“Look. I’m fine.”

Sam pauses, staring at her for a moment. It wasn’t instantaneous with Ky, either, but it definitely hadn’t taken this long.

“You’re...fine,” he says slowly. “How? What is it?”

Sophia smiles and it’s almost awkward. “Well, it’s less of a curse and more of an...enchantment. This thing—well, I thought it was a myth, but I guess anything can be real when people can move the earth and manipulate light itself.”

Sam blinks.

“The orb isn’t evil,” Sophia says. “It wasn’t created with malicious intent. Actually, it was created because some person was tired of their friends dancing around their love for each other, so they made something that would force them to acknowledge their feelings.”

“You’re kidding,” Sam says. “It’s a magic love ball?”

“A magic love ball that only works when two people with feelings for each other are present.”

Sam takes a moment to think about that.

“No, I don’t—“ he starts, but Sophia just raises an eyebrow at him. “Listen, I don’t like Ky. Not that I dislike him, I mean I don’t—love him, or have a crush on him, or whatever! And he definitely doesn’t like—love—me, that would be ridiculous—“

“Sam,” the princess says gently. “You’re not really that blind, right?”

“Gee, thanks,” he mumbles, directing his eyes at the ground.

“You must see the way he looks at you—“

“Sophia, we couldn’t,” Sam protests weakly. “He’s—a prince, and I haven’t even been a royal guard for very long—“

“There’s no rules against a prince and a guard dating,” Sophia says.

“We couldn’t,” Sam says again, because what is he supposed to do if they can? Tell Ky? Ask him out? Sam has no idea how to do any of that, and whatever the orb’s origins might imply about Ky feeling the same, Sam is not risking this friendship over some magic ball.

“Okay,” Sophia relents. “Fine. But the only way to break it is to kiss him.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“It isn’t a joke, unfortunately.”

Sam looks up and just stares at Sophia. “What.”

“Listen, it was a very long time ago—“

“There are literally so many other ways to show affection for someone—“

“It’s not like I made the orb, okay—“

“I am not kissing him while he’s unconscious!” Sam practically shrieks, running a hand through his hair.

“Okay, okay, it’s alright!” Sophia says, finally placing the orb down on the table, but it doesn’t make Sam relax in the slightest. “It’s—maybe there’s another way. I’ll look into it, okay?”

“Okay,” Sam murmurs, dropping into his seat and wrapping his arms around himself.

Maybe an evil curse with some bad guy to fight would’ve been better, after all.

[onebizarrekai]

(Dreamswap) Another Outcome

In which things change.

(Somewhere in the Justice Reigns castle…)

Nightmare: … so, I guess this is it, huh?

Nightmare: Finally getting what you want, brother? My death?

Dream: Shut up. You should be glad that you’re allowed to speak at all. Don’t make me take that away.

Nightmare: That is odd, I must say. You’d think that listening to me talk would make you want to kill me less.

Nightmare: That’s why you’re mad all the time. Trying to shove it on me and make me be mad right back at you, so you want to hate me more. It’s just a trick.

(Dream shoves Nightmare up into the middle of some kind of complicated mechanism with many parts.)

Dream: I will silence you.

Nightmare: Like a cell phone?

Nightmare: Pft. Good luck, angel boy.

Nightmare: The hell is this thing? Some kinda fate splitter? I mean, I’d certainly assume so.

(Dream walks over to some kind of control panel.)

Dream: I have no reason to answer any questions.

(The room falls silent as Dream sets up whatever machine it is. Nightmare stands there, unable to move in his restraints, anyway.)

Nightmare: … Dream.

(Dream doesn’t respond.)

Nightmare: If this really is it…

Nightmare: Don’t you dare f#%k it up, you hear me?

Dream: What?

Nightmare: Go create your ideal multiverse, or whatever.

Nightmare: I will be pissed beyond belief if this doesn’t mean anything, and I think it’s easy to see why.

Nightmare: I’ll give you a painful death by haunting and drag you down to hell with me.

(Dream stops for a moment, then smiles.)

Dream: I assure you, that will not be necessary.

(Dream presses a button on the control panel and several machine parts move in on Nightmare at once, some locking him in place.)

Dream: Sweet dreams, dear brother.

(Nightmare hears Dream say this before his head begins to feel inexplicably foggy and numb as he passes out.)

(Nightmare feels consciousness return to him after who knows how long. He doesn’t know why… something in him feels very… empty and strange, something seems to be missing.)

(No, that’s not it.)

(Something seems to be getting taken out and something else getting put in its place.)

(He’s paralyzed, unable to even open his eyes. Was he even still alive? He felt like he was still stuck in that machine, maybe…)

(A voice nearby.)

(“Come on, almost.”)

(“Everything is going as expected.”)

(It’s definitely Dream’s voice. Maybe he is still alive after all…? Why?)

(The more time passes, the more drained he feels. What is Dream doing? Is this machine even supposed to kill Nightmare, or maybe…)

(Nightmare feels an imaginary sensation of something clicking into place inside him. He feels utterly empty, dead inside, stuck in this darkness behind closed eyes, and something foreign is trying to familiarize itself with his body.)

(… no, not his body.)

(His spirit…?)

(Suddenly, he is no longer frozen in place. His hands start to claw and shake, his body twitching where it can still move…)

(He still cannot speak. No sound is coming out.)

(Whatever just got thrown into his spirit feels like it’s shaping itself into him, filling in every corner. It’s not physically painful… it’s just… extremely uncomfortable.)

(But, as this continues on, it actually stops, and soon enough, it had shifted from bring uncomfortable to being comforting. His hands drop, his body stops twitching.)

(He feels warmer inside than he ever has in his life.)

(He manages to get a sound to leave his mouth.)

Nightmare: … Dream…

(He utters, and suddenly all restraints on him vanish and he falls forward, right into arms waiting to catch him, consciousness drifting away again almost immediately.)

Dream: I can’t sense the negative energy anymore…

Dream: It… worked…

(He looks down at his unconscious brother.)

Dream: … Night.

Dream: It worked. It worked!

Dream: And…

Dream: You’re still alive…

(He easily scoops up his smaller brother and carries him out of the room.)

(Nightmare wakes up in a bed.)

Nightmare: … What happened…

(He glances around the room, incredibly confused.)

(So… he wasn’t dead?)

Nightmare: What the hell is going on here…?

(He stops and shifts to internal focus, noticing that something seems a bit weird. He feels all warm and fuzzy. His generic bitterness seems… absent.)

(On the end of the bed is Dream bent over from a seat, sleeping on his arms.)

Nightmare: Dream?

(Dream jolts awake, sitting back up straight immediately.)

Dream: Well. I. I suppose I dozed off?

(Nightmare gives Dream a blatantly perplexed look.)

Dream: Um…

Dream: There are… some things to be discussed.

Nightmare: No s#%t.

Dream: … I couldn’t do it.

Nightmare: Kill me?

Dream: So… let me start from the beginning.

Dream: I dedicated copious research into discovering another solution.

Dream: There were a number of suggestions and hypothesis from those who were willing to support me, and ultimately, a plan was formulated surrounding something we weren’t even entirely sure would work.

Dream: But… anything was better.

Nightmare: Go on?

Dream: I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could extract the negative energy from your spirit without eliminating you along with it.

Dream: But of course, nothing would hold it together without it.

Dream: So… I had the energy replaced with another.

Nightmare: You… turned me into a positive spirit…?

Nightmare: Just like…

Dream: Like me.

(Nightmare sits there, taking it in.)

Nightmare: How am I the same…?

Dream: Well, put it this way. Our spirits have been fused with our bodies, and we developed personalities afterwards. Prior to that… we were just compositions of pure energy.

Nightmare: …

Nightmare: Why didn’t you tell me…?

Dream: …

Dream: I was afraid.

Nightmare: Afraid of telling me that you don’t want to kill me anymore? Dude, that makes literally zero sense.

Nightmare: I mean, honestly, I am kind of pissed. You like, changed my entire magical structure because of something you want and didn’t even tell me about it.

Dream: … okay, I actually think I could give rational responses to everything you just said, but I’m feeling too unbelievably emotional to actually do it. I can answer those questions later when I’m internally calm.

Nightmare: … all right then, a more practical question. If your spirit is supposed to be a representation of all the positive energy in the multiverse, where the heck could you find enough to make another?

Dream: Well… let’s just say that everything I’ve been doing hasn’t been for naught.

Nightmare: Holy s#%t. How does that even work?

Nightmare: You haven’t been making more positive energy, you’ve just been destroying the negative stuff!

Dream: Do you even pay attention to things? That’s not all we do and it never has been.

Dream: You were probably just too caught up in the fact that you were the mortal enemy of this organization.

Nightmare: Rightfully so.

Nightmare: Oh yeah, by the way. Where the heck did you stick my friends and literally let me see them right now.

Dream: You could just ask like a normal person.

Nightmare: Dude. They probably think I’m dead!

Nightmare: Unless you freakin explained this to them and not me.

Dream: … you know what perhaps that is a good idea.

Ink: uuUUUGH, are they done yet?

Ink: Why did I get stuck on watch for you guys? I’m not even a fricking guard.

Error: Shut the hell up. Cross is in shock.

Cross: he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead, oh god he’s dead--

Ink: News flash, I don’t feel. No s#%ts given.

Error: That’s ironic. I thought that would make you feel less inclined to b#tch about this.

Error: I bet you’re just salty about getting replaced and witnessing that replacement.

Ink: Don’t even go there, Glasses.

(They hear footsteps off in a distance.)

Ink: Oh s#%t, whaddap. I think that’s the boss.

Error: That’s definitely more than one pair of footsteps.

(Ink’s eyes widen as the steps get closer, but Cross and Error can’t see the reason why.)

Dream: Ink, go upstairs.

(Ink’s brow furrows and he walks past Dream, glancing back as he does so.)

(Dream turns his attention to Cross and Error in the prison.)

Dream: There is… something you need to be made aware of…

Cross: You… YOU F#%KING MURDERER--

(Cross lunges at the bars, but freezes in place as Nightmare walks into his vision.)

Nightmare: Uh… yeah, I’m alive.

Cross: HHH

Cross: FFF????

Cross: WHAT

Cross: (incoherent confused swearing)

Nightmare: Cross--

Nightmare: Stop. Listen.

(Cross grips the bars, looking down.)

Cross: Let me out of here… Please…

Cross: Nightmare…

Nightmare: …

Dream: …

Nightmare: Say you won’t strangle my brother.

Cross: That asshole… is screwing with my mind on PURPOSE!

Nightmare: CROSS. Stop. Everything is going to be explained.

(Cross looks up at Nightmare, tears running nonstop down his face.)

Cross: …

Cross: Nightmare…? Your eyes…?

Cross: … Why are they yellow?

Cross: What did he do to you?!

(Nightmare stands there, giving an impatient look. Cross stops, staring at him with wide eyes.)

Cross: What did he turn you into…?

Nightmare: I’ll tell you. You just have to calm down.

Cross: I am calm.

Nightmare: No you’re not.

(Nightmare reaches through the bars and takes Cross’s hand.)

Nightmare: Everything is all right.

(Cross stands silently for a moment.)

Cross: … he did do something to you…

Cross: I recognize this.

(Dream unlocks the door and Cross immediately barges out. He pushes Dream out of the way and hugs Nightmare.)

Cross: But… it’s still you. I thought I was going to lose you forever.

(During their little moment, Error turns to Dream.)

Error: So what exactly happened?

Error: And why couldn’t you have told us?

Error: I had to listen to an hour and a half of Ink whining because of this and I swore more times in that timespan than I have in my entire life that I can remember.

(Dream sighs.)

Dream: … Come upstairs. I’ll explain what happened.

Cross: Okay I literally do not understand most of this shindig but basically you just took your own blinded perspective and changed Nightmare against his will because of it?

(Dream lowkey growls.)

Dream: Why do you always find something to be angry about?

Dream: My brother is alive and one would think you’d be more appreciative of that.

Dream: He hasn’t changed. His spirit just has a different composition of energy.

Cross: He has changed! He’s giving off positive aura now!

Dream: And that’s bad why…?

Cross: Because it’s like YOU, obviously! It’s that unnatural thing that’s way too easy to recognize!

Nightmare: Yes, but I’m NOT him.

(Nightmare pulls Cross up close.)

Nightmare: When the heck am I ever letting my aura work freely, anyway?

Cross: Yeah, but…

Dream: What are you whispering about?

Nightmare: None of your business.

Nightmare: Cross, I’m just saying that this might be significantly helpful, just in a very different way.

Nightmare: I’m still the same, so stop being a bitter prick about it.

Cross: (displeased groaning)

(Nightmare turns back to Dream.)

Nightmare: So, what are you gonna do now? Charge me for required services?

Dream: Are you joking?

Nightmare: Depends on the answer.

Dream: No, of course I’m not charging you. I’m not evil.

(Cross frowns deeply.)

Cross: If you’re not evil, then apologize for the s#%t you put us through on a regular basis.

Cross: We didn’t even do anything wrong and your freak organization was hunting us down nonstop.

Dream: …

(He steadily exhales.)

Dream: … That time is past now.

Dream: You… have my deepest apologies.

(Cross lets out a huff of air.)

Dream: This doesn’t mean my personal opinion of you has changed though.

Cross: Pff, yeah. Likewise.

Everyone: …

Error: ……… can we go home now?

Error: I like… left a game on…

Dream: Oh. That reminds me.

Dream: Do you plan to tell me where you live now?

Dream: It’s not like you have any reason to conceal your location anymore.

Nightmare: This soon?

Nightmare: Hate to break it to you, but after this long of being hunted by you, I don’t think I’m mentally prepared to open up at all.

Nightmare: Besides. I think you should figure it out yourself.

Dream: I already figured it out like three times and you kept changing your address. I’ve had just about enough of ‘figuring it out’.

Nightmare: Exactly. It should be a cinch the fourth time.

(Cross snickers at the displeased expression on Dream’s face.)

Nightmare: And let’s not forget something important, angel boy.

Nightmare: Just because you’re not after me anymore doesn’t mean that I’m not opposed to your work and organization. I still disagree with the majority of your perspectives, and no amount of angsty family moments could change that.

Dream: … I understand.

Dream: I guess not everything can go my way.

(He lets out a sigh, stands up, then takes a deep breath.)

Dream: INK.

Dream: I know you’re standing bitterly over there.

(Off in a distance, Ink is leaning on the wall next to the door.)

Ink: Tch. Yeah, so what?

Dream: Unless you want to be severely reprimanded, I order you to accompany us as we go to a room where these three are able to leave, and when we arrive there, I fully expect you to be prepared to apologize for your behavior.

Ink: What?! I didn’t even do anything!

Dream: You were being a whiny little b#tch during that job I gave you.

(The meme squad blinks, all thinking the exact same thing.)

(“Holy frick, Dream swore.”)

(Cross grins.)

Cross: Man you’re in trouble…

Dream: You should be relieved that I’m giving you a few minutes of preparation to come to terms with your mistakes.

Dream: We’re heading out.

(Dream walks past Ink, soon followed by Nightmare, Cross and Error. Ink lets out a disgruntled growl as Error smirks at him.)

Ink: F@#k off, Glasses.

(Dream turns his head, shooting Ink a glare. Ink looks away, still petulant, but afraid to make Dream any angrier.)

(They shortly arrive in a room with some kind of panel in the wall. Dream walks over to it and turns it on. It asks for a password, which he promptly inputs with one hand on a nearby keypad. The trio watches as the words ‘inner security temporarily lifted’ appear on the screen.)

Dream: There. You’ll briefly be able to use your AU traveling powers in this room.

Nightmare: Damn, I always wondered what that stupid thing was for.

Dream: Now, Ink. Is there something you want to say?


Ink: Not particularly.

Dream: Don’t sass me.

Nightmare: (mocking tone) Yeah, Ink. Say you’re sorry.

Dream: Nightmare, don’t make this worse.

Nightmare: I make everything worse.

Cross: (nodding) It’s true.

Ink: Okay, fine. Whatever. I’m sorry for being a whiny little b#tch earlier. You guys were having a hard time.

Error: He’s not actually sorry.

Nightmare: No, he’s not.

Ink: Leave me alone!

(Ink runs out of the room, and Dream rolls his eyes.)

(Nightmare and Cross look over at Error, who understands and opens a portal.)

Dream: … I suppose I’ll be seeing you three around.

Nightmare: I suppose you will.

(Nightmare turns to his companions.)

Nightmare: Hey, guys. Wait for me a minute.

(Cross and Error look at each other and shrug, then go through the portal.)

Dream: … what is it–

(Nightmare runs forward and hugs Dream.)

Nightmare: … this is weird.

Nightmare: Really, really weird. Let’s just say this wasn’t the outcome I was expecting.

Nightmare: And I’m feeling a lot of weird things.

Nightmare: But, I…

(Dream hugs him back.)

Nightmare: Uh…

Nightmare: Never mind… I got nothing.

(Dream smiles.)

Dream: An ‘I love you’?


Nightmare: Hah. Hell no, not yet.

(Nightmare lets go.)

Nightmare: I, uh… I need to go now.

(He turns around and runs through the portal. It closes behind him.)

(Dream had barely caught a glimpse of the tears beginning to run down Nightmare’s face as he had turned.)

(He had never seen Nightmare cry before.)

Dream: …

(Dream closes his eyes, wondering what exactly… would come from all this. It would certainly be interesting to find out.)

(He turns around, entering the hallway again.)

[joonie-beanie]

Welcome To The Wild Side [4]

<– [3] | [5] -->

Genre: Superpowers + College AU

Rated: T

Words: 2,028

A/N: Here’s an update that no one asked for! :D Too bad! It’s here anyway lmao

On Saturday, you find yourself walking to a pub near the west end of your campus. Jimin had suggested that you two meet for lunch, and, of course, you were always down to get food, so you had agreed to meet up.

Waiting out front, your purse slung over your shoulder, the plaid shirt tied around your waist lightly blowing with the breeze, you glance around the semi-busy street. You’re hoping Jimin didn’t forget about you—especially considering you’d actually given in to meeting despite the fact you hadn’t interacted with him more than once. Seriously—that’s a miracle in your book—so he better show u—

“Hey there!” a voice calls, and before you can turn an arm is slung over your shoulder, silky brown hair tickling the side of your face. Grunting at the impact, you fall forward a little, but Jimin is quick to help steady you.

“You keep forgetting that I am a regular human girl,” you mumble at him as he releases you, and Jimin grins somewhat apologetically.

“I haven’t forgotten~ Sorry, I was just excited to see you.”

You stare at him, eyes narrowing.

“What motive do you have in saying something like that…”

“What?? I’m not allowed to say that I was excited to see you??” Jimin asks in surprise. When your eyes only narrow further, obviously not believing him, Jimin rolls his own eyes and takes a step forward. Raising his hands, he places them on your shoulders, and you stare, now even more suspicious.

“What are you doing?”

“Do you know my power?” he asks, cheeky as hell. You pause, suddenly a little weary of him. You honestly have no idea what Jimin’s power is…in fact, you only know three of their powers. Jungkook has strength, Namjoon has regeneration, and Hoseok has teleportation, but…the other four…

“Jimin, are you going to murder me. Because listen that’d be very rude ‘cause I actually kind of like you guys—”

“Oh~? You like us?” he immediately interrupts, his tone playful. You glare at him, lips curling into an angry pout, and Jimin smiles, staring right into your eyes.

“I don’t plan on murdering you—you’re too pretty for that, and I’m not a bad guy anyway, but--,” he says, shushing you when you open your mouth to refute his words, your cheeks having turned pink from embarrassment.

“Tell me, Y/N…,” meeting his stare again, your eyes widen when you see his eyes slightly changing color—a pink tinge outlining his cornea. “How do you feel about me?”

It’s almost as if your entire attitude flips at his words. Any skepticism or weariness about the situation vanishes, replaced by the steady pounding of your heart in your chest and a burst of adrenaline through your veins. Just like that you find yourself biting your lower lip, hands pressing forward to wrap around Jimin’s neck. All you can think about is him—how much you adore him—and as if possessed you lean forward and press your lips to his cheek.

However…when your eye contact with him breaks—your arms loosening from around him, your alert mind sinking back into its rightful place, screaming warning bells at you—you slowly step back away from him. You rub at your head, as if in a slight daze, and then after a few seconds—when you feel normal again—glance back up at him, both embarrassed and petrified.

“I just kissed you,” you say, your face feeling far too warm, and Jimin laughs.

“I kissed you—what the fuck just happened?? I didn’t even…what…”

“My power is empathy,” he says, carding a hand through his floofy hair. His voice softens as he continues. “I can sense the emotions of other people and also change them—so long as I make eye contact.”

“SO,” he says, smiling at you again, his eyes pressing into little half-moons. However, this time you can tell he’s not being cheeky, just personable. “When we made eye contact I could tell that you were feeling a little…uncomfortable, right? Probably because you’re still getting to know all of us and you and I haven’t really hung out one on one but…I promise I’m nice, ok? You don’t need to be nervous around me.”

“O-Okay,” is your response, feeling a little baffled, but also somehow touched by his reassurance at the same time. However—

“Was in necessary to make me feel…whatever that was for you??” you ask as Jimin steps towards the door of the pub and pulls it open.

“It was attraction, Y/N,” he laughs, motioning for you to step inside. With a little huff you do, Jimin following a step behind you.

“And no, it wasn’t necessary—but I wanted to show you somehow, and I think that was the best outcome for the both of us~”

“Asshole,” you mumble, bumping your hip into his. Jimin laughs, smiling at the hostess as she shows the both of you to a table.

“Just be glad I only made it ‘attraction’ and not ‘lust’.”

At that, a few lewd images float through your mind, and you decide to shut up.

About an hour into your meal together—half of your plate of food now in your stomach and also a few of Jimin’s French fries (“payback for earlier, bitch” “*laughter* I’ll get you back for getting me back, just wait”)—you remember something that you had wanted to ask him.

“Hey, so…I know that usually, you know…people with super powers don’t exactly tell what their power is, but…the other day I couldn’t figure out what Jin, Yoongi, or Taehyung’s powers are. And I’m really curious…”

It’s almost embarrassing to admit it but it’s true. Your mind just keeps turning back to the instant before Hoseok teleported you out of the classroom—the remaining boys getting into fighting stance and tables lifting off the ground—but you hadn’t been able to discern their powers.

“Well, under normal circumstances I would probably look at you like you’re crazy and just walk away,” Jimin says, waving one of his only remaining fries around as he talks. “But because you bumped into Jungkook and because we decided to put our asses on the line to save you—you’re kind of lowkey stuck with us, so I’ll tell you.

“Jin hyung can use telekinesis—”

“Like…moving shit with your mind??” you clarify, wide amazed eyes making Jimin smile—just a little.

“Yeah. Like obviously the heavier the object means the more strain on him, ya know? But he’s strong. For the most part he just uses it to help him clean the house and cook meals.”

“Practical,” you laugh, and Jimin nods in agreement.

“Yoongi hyung has water manipulation.”

“Like water bending from Avatar: The Last Airbender?”

“I guess if you want to put it that way. But he has way less finesse than any water bender. He just kind of…does it. He can make his water turn to ice too—but only if he’s super mad. Overall, he’s really lazy about it, honestly. Out of all of us he actively uses his power the least.

“And Taehyungie has shape-shifting. It’s a pain in the ass,” Jimin groans, face sinking into his hands, and you laugh a little.

“Why is that?” you ask, cheek resting against your palm as you stare at him in amusement.

“Because he can be nearly anything,” Jimin explains. “One time I was at a party dancing with this girl, and she was acting weird but I was too drunk to notice, and then all of the sudden as she starts grinding on me I look up and it’s Kim fucking Taehyung. You never know where he’s gonna be! One time he changed to look like his professor and started teaching class, and then when the real professor got there Taehyung had to run for his life. Like, he uses his power too freely, ok? When he wants to skip class he’ll change into a squirrel and go hang out in a tree. Who does that??”

“Taehyung,” you respond smartly, and Jimin huffs, reaching across the table to poke your forehead.

“Shut up. He’s a dumbass.”

“Obviously you’re good friends,” you smile, and Jimin nearly blushes, cheeks puffing out indignantly. Luckily, before he can say anything, your waitress stops by to drop off your bill. Both you and Jimin smile at her, thanking her politely, but just as she’s about to walk away a disgruntled looking man storms past and knocks into her. You make a sound of surprise, quickly reaching out to catch your waitress as she half-way falls into your lap. At the same time, the now even more pissed off man—even though it’s his fault—makes a full 180 and glares daggers at her.

“Hey!” he growls, hand reaching forward to grab her, and you feel the girl push back against you, scared out of her mind. Also, who the fuck does this dude think he is?

Lashing out, you quickly grab onto his wrist, stopping him from grabbing your waitress. Immediately his anger turns to you, teeth grinding, but before he can make another move Jimin is out of his seat.

“C’mon now, let’s calm down,” he says, the male’s attention turning to him, and as soon as Jimin makes eye contact the man freezes. You release his wrist, his arm dropping back to his side, and within seconds his previous fury seems to melt away.

“Just keep going to where you were going, ok? Ok,” Jimin says somewhat awkwardly, patting his shoulder, and the guy nods before turning on his heel and walking away. As soon as he turns Jimin is digging in his back pocket for his wallet, a little frantic.

“So uhhh…at the longest he’ll only be calm for another minute before my powers wear off, so let’s get the hell out of here,” he says, and your waitress scrambles off your lap, apologizing and thanking you both. You assure her that she’s fine, and as soon as you and Jimin have enough money on the table to cover the bill, you duck out of the pub and hurry down the street.

“Nice one,” you tell him, lungs heaving as you both stop to rest.

“Thanks,” he says, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “I see now why Jungkook had to jump in and save you that one night. You like getting into trouble, don’t you?”

“ME?” you say, flailing your arms, and Jimin laughs.

“Well, you’re nice enough to help others who are in bad situations, and consequently you end up getting in a sticky situation too. Like with the red-eyed dude and also the guy just now. When he went to grab our waitress you tried to protect her—”

“Well I’m not just going to let him hurt her when she didn’t do anything wrong—!”

“That’s what I’m talking about, Y/N,” he says, breathing a laugh. “You’re a good person for trying to help others, I’ll give you that.”

“Sorry,” you mumble, suddenly feeling a bit bad. After all, if Jimin hadn’t been there you probably would’ve been in big trouble again. “You guys keep saving my ass.”

“It’s fine,” he says, patting your shoulder. You glance up at him, and he flashes you a kind smile. “You were just trying to help, so I can’t be mad about it. And like I said, me and the rest of the guys have your back, ok? Just…try not to get into too much trouble, especially when we’re not around.”

“Fair enough,” you respond, rubbing your arm a little sheepishly, and Jimin pats your head.

“Good. Thanks for taking time to have lunch with me, Y/N. I’ll see you around, alright?”

“Alright,” you respond with a smile, waving as he walks away, and when Jimin turns his back to you, you sigh a little.

Am I just asking for trouble? You wonder, thinking of the seven boys who had accepted you into their little group. You don’t want to have them protect you…but…

“I’ll think about this a different day,” you say, shaking your head, and turn to head home.

[swearronchanel]

Impromptu post, thoughts during 5.05

I'm so pissed I literally lost an earring at some point today and just realized. So I ripped my dorm room apart looking for it (no luck of course) and now it's 9:30 so I already missed half of the new episode of Jane the Virgin. Also my earrings are from Tiffany's, they were a Christmas gift a couple years ago & I can't afford to replace it😭 whatever you guys don't care about this, I'm so tired but I refuse to fall asleep at 9:30pm because I'll wake up at like 5am. So I decided to watch a random episode of Call The Midwife and share my thoughts.

Ok I'm going with 5.05, since we just saw 6.05 lol, idk If there's any logic but just go with it alright

ah the old credits, I really like the new ones though. Especially the color

"We were moving from a time of guessing.." I love how the show explains & shows that times are changing

The health report! Littt

"I feel a drumroll is in order" Shelagh is so precious!! 💖 I love her Scottish accent && side note I still wish they would mention one day how she got London. It literally does not matter at all but we know next to nothing about her past and im curious ?! More of Shelagh’s past pls

WAIT ONE OF MY FAV SHELAGH LINES IS COMING

"Patrick Turner, GP License to Practice Medicine and Secret Agent Shelagh Turnova save Poplar from ill health and disease!" I LOVE ITTTT😂 ONE OF HER BEST LINES EVER DONT @ ME, her laugh at the end is priceless ah! Shelagh is lowkey funny af she just rarely gets to opportunity and again Laura Main is an actual gem 😍

KEEP FIT

Trixie looking so good😍 i need her to whip my ass back in to shape. i havent worked out in like 3 months yikes

but seriously is this really my train of thoughts if i dont mention how perfect Helen George is?

yea its fuccking cancer, cigs are no joke

lol did they really not notice Tim reading Freud?

Also why did Shelagh ever think smoking cigarettes was a good idea after she freaking had tb? i forgive her though shes my bby💕

phyllis! my mother and hero

oh yea this lady cant read

forgot she was a ex-prostitute

vi and fred doing jumping jacks im dead, theyre a cute couple

Where did frankincense come from??

lol violet didnt wanna give up the bathroom door "we may be married but i still have my dignity"

Mrs Dooly? Is that her name (idk)

I can so see Shelagh delivering her baby herself like this lady did, but obviously she’d know what’s happening. You think Shelagh is going to freak out while giving birth though? hmm  

"I do like a milky brew" WHY IS THAT FUNNY😂😂 I like the Delia & Sister MJ interaction

PHYLLIS TRYING TO RIDE A BIKE IS SYMBOLISM FOR ME TRYING TO GET THROUGH THIS SEMESTER #barelymanaging

does laying on a door really help a messed up back?

Those awful sleeves on Delia's uniform *cringe*

"I am not trusted with medical emergencies" I TRUST YOU SISTER MJ💕 lowkey hope the delivery sister MJ is involved in is Shelagh's

If I had to deliver my own baby I'd be freaking the fuck out too, like I'm not Dr Quinn

The Nonnatus Fam all at the table makes me happy😭

Sister Winifred rolling her eyes in the back 😂😂😂

"I'll be washing my hair and reading magazines from now on" yo sister Winifred is growing on me tbh?? Wow lol

"Ive always assumed the results of the male organ to be more rewarding than the organ itself" 😂😭 love sister MJ

Everyone in the convent shook😂 again sister W has the best reactions 😂 dick jokes are 100x funnier when they're made in a convent & 1000x funnier when they're made by a nun

Shelagh's "percussion" on Tim's back I'm dead lmfaoo

I don't remember if she has post partum ?

Fred taking over the shop😂 I miss when Fred used to scam though😭

"I'm missing my monthlys" "monthly whats?" Oh Fred cmon 😂

Tim snatching those cigarettes

Barbara trying to measure this lady😂😂 she's so awkward, love it

She leaves her baby outside smh

"Gosh James knows how to show a chap a nice time"  ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH LINE😂 give my bby more great lines 😭😂

I LOVE CHEEKY SHELAGH, I LOVE SHELAGH ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN SHE HAS NO LINES OR IS CRYING AND SAD (WHICH IS TOO OFTEN & WE NEEDA CUT THAT OUT)

Laura Main and Helen George calmly ruined me, I never was like this? How did I end up literally crying every week for fictional characters ??

Shelagh and Patrick's faces were so smug just now I love it

Yikes those lungs

Reminds me of all the gross anti smoking commercials. Also Patrick is shook but I'm not too surprised

I love that Phyllis is so understanding and doesn't judge any patient  💕

"You have the rest of your life to get the hang of it" I NEEDED THAT TOO PHYLLIS THANKS

LMAO FRED "Because hell will freeze over first"

so yes post partum??

Phyllis is annoyed bc she wants to work on her Spanish and babs is taking too long with the dishes 😂😂te querio mucho phyllis

Tim sparking up lol 🚬

Here comes trouble

I wanna rip Patrick's index finger off. Remember that time he wagged his finger and Shelagh and I was ready TO FREAKING FLIP

but yea wtf you knew this would happen Tim

Shelagh's just like "Tim no" I love u Shelagh but what does that do lmao your husband is exploding

"You'll what, light it for me!?" BOYYYY ARE YOU BRAVE KID

If I responded like that my parents would've flipped, there most likely would've been a chancla coming at me  😭😂

But seriously Patrick should know better not to smoke lol

What does Roxanne mean this isn't real??

Aw cute Patrick and Tim moment, and a year later they're getting drunk off one beer and throwing darts into the wall😂

I want to see more of Phyllis with babies aww

Also not really related but I hope Phyllis has some good lines defending the pill when it comes back up. Remember when she had babs shook when she told the story of the soldier she spent a weekend away with😏 imagine her telling the other nurses?

Used to hang out at a Jazz club Patrick?? lol interesting  

damn get that radium treatment man

"The real magic is keeping on when all you want to do is run" Phyllis Fucking Crane spilling the tea as always. How did I not like her once upon a time??

Could Shelagh get any cuter eating biscuits? No she could not

lol biscuits aren't just for fainters!! Ah I don't miss sister Ursula 🙃

that's not your mother😐 (I knew where she was going though but you know I'm gonna say it anyway)

More Shelagh and Phyllis interaction yes pls

How much is a shilling? #ignorantamerican

Fred hiding from the costumers 😂😂

Yes Vi! Defend ur man & kick this rude ass lady out

Lol now Patrick telling other people to quit smoking. Don Draper tried man, it's gonna take u a while 😭

I'm here for the Phyllis and Sister W dynamic (more now that Phyllis is teaching her how to drive 😂)

Ah I love going back to old episodes when I know what happens in the future, also I notice things I didn't notice before and make connections and yea, you catch my drift lmao

"We don't choose to be unloved by those who should love us"💔

we truly don't deserve Phyllis. SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HER MOTHER AND IM CRYING

"Shame will keep us in all kinds of prisons if we let it" 😭😭😭

Patrick has a puppy face rn

Wait they went this long without naming the baby??

omg speaking of that, I really want to know what the gender of baby Turner is going to be and what it will be named😭😭

Vi is precious lol & Fred lifting her is cute. Patrick never lifts Shelagh😂

Aw speaking of my bbys💕💕

So precious it’s almost strange Turner family moment

Why do so many people hate that couch? Like it doesn't bother me or maybe I don't care enough about the background?

Angela has grown so much in a year wow, she looks a lot younger here

lol Shelagh and Patrick are like "um wtf psychology??" 😂

Wait Angela made a noise😂 when will she actually speak??

Haha Shelagh you're going to need new dresses but you don't know yet 😭😂💕 I still can't believe she's having a baby. I Love it.

"You're my world" lol that was so cute but also I still think Tim is too perfect of a child?? what teenager is so pleasant with his parents all the time 😂 plus he's always with them and his baby sister? #givetimalife2k17aka1962

Aww all the cute concluding moments & Vanessa Redgrave saying something profound and we are done.  

[groupie-inspired]

Thoughts about love & the past

It’s late and I’m just like thinking about old shit

And about how like, the closest I ever came to being in a relationship was with this girl like from 7th grade-summer before freshman year.

Like idk it was kind of weird I still don’t fully even know what it was about... like she made me mixtapes. I was so in love with her too, I don’t even know if she knew about it until the very end, or maybe we just like didn’t talk about it because we couldn’t really. She gave me her Starbucks frappuccino at my birthday party before we went to the movies, and even though I’m fucking afraid of germs, I didn’t care because it was her. She would practice guitar while we face timed and she would keep playing smoke on the water and I would have to hang up because it like, drove me insane. She said she thought she was bi once and I was like... okay... and she was like...idk. And the thing too is like, we would talk about shit (cough cough) that maybe friends don’t always talk about. 

She was the first person who I knew who really cared about bands and shit, for her it was one direction and 5SOS and I didn’t get it because I hated 1D and 5SOS. She had a breakdown when 1D broke up. She would get to the 5SOS concerts around soundcheck, and she told me she’d get there when the groupies got there. I didn’t even know what that was, at that point. I don’t think she liked them much. One time I cried because I felt like I didn’t deserve her. She bought me a picture I still have on a shelf in my room, of Times Square. I bought her so much shit for Christmas, because I was like obsessed with her, and she got me a pandora bracelet. One time a rumor started that she was a lesbian and it was so stupid. I took pictures of her in the snow outside an ice skating rink. She taught me how to download music illegally, but I was too scared to do something “bad”. She gave me a yin/yang bracelet from Costco or something and even though it broke I couldn’t part with it, and kept it in my desk drawer.

But towards the end she started ignoring me and shit and that sent me into a tailspin and I was like. What is even going on? And she was like, I think I’m depressed. And I was like yeah but so am I and I don’t ignore you (because I couldn’t). And then at one point I was sitting in the car in a Boston Market parking lot and she called me and started talking about a guy she was interested in or whatever and I was just like. Oh, okay. Because that hadn’t really been a thing prior to that, like neither of us really did that shit that much. She came to my 14th birthday party and didn’t even fuckin get me anything, but she lied about it first. There was a lot of shit that wasn’t the greatest in our friendship or whatever it was, because I thought she was so much better than me and she stayed with the same people who made me feel that way for years. She would say that I was special to her but it didn’t always feel that way.

Anyway, things ended on bad terms, I cut her off. She messaged me months later to see how I was doing, and I was an asshole. Because I couldn’t take it, you know, and I wasn’t doing good. I’ve never felt love like that for anyone else since her. Even the smell of her laundry detergent calmed me, it was like she couldn’t do anything wrong in my eyes. Like people always talk about first loves, and usually they happen for people in high school or something, but I maintain that mine was then. Because it’s never been the same, for some reason. And I’m really fucking picky in general, the only other person I like, kind of liked was this guitarist I met in at an acting class in Manhattan. He seemed like a confused n wishy washy dude. Wasn’t clear about shit. That was just like a fuckin blip, nothing came of it after three months. Lowkey, I think I was trying to replace her or something. I think she’s where my preference for artsy people comes from, and I guess because I’m also an artsy person. It’s weird how we don’t recognize people shaping us until after it’s happened. I remember dancing to Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles at her grandma’s appartment. I mean, she opened me up to a lot of music I hadn’t really heard before, and I remember adults were always telling me I should sing because I was good at it. But at the time I didn’t have any of that confidence. I think she expanded my mind but then we started to hold each other back.

I don’t think about it too often. Or I guess I don’t look back fondly. Mostly, I’m kind of worried that people will leave me like she did, and I don’t want to feel that deeply again because it hurts really bad when someone leaves you like that. I never belonged anywhere and I wasn’t even sure I belonged with her but it felt like it worked sometimes.

And now I’m in a place where like, people my age infuriate me.

I’ve had like, other “blips” I guess, aside from the guitarist but they weren’t really anything. Like this girl from my religion class would like always say “hi” to me and shit, and she would like be like idk, different?? She was really pretty but she had a boyfriend and he was like, the most basic person ever. But who am I to judge that, I guess. The only guy who’s ever consistently been in my life is this friend of mine who I’ve known for like 12 years, but I would never be with him romantically because it isn’t like that. He can be a chronic mansplainer. He’s the type who, like two weeks ago, when I tried to tell him about this guy I wasn’t sure about just went: “NO. Stop, Lena, you’re making a mistake! Don’t do it! I swear to god, you better not! You’re so self destructive.” I tolerate him though because he’s basically my brother, at this point. He reminds me of my dad, honestly, only I guess he can be more reliable in some ways. I’ve got a few close friends besides him, but everyone else is an acquaintance I keep at arms length. I feel like I have acquaintances I don’t even fuckin know about, cause people will say hi to me in the hall and I have no idea who they are. When I was in middle school, no guys liked me because I was fat and politically conscious.

And also, I’m generally kind of “out there”, I guess. A guy I saw at a party recently said he thought I was weird when he was in 7th grade & I was in 8th, but then he realized that he’s weird too. I went to volunteering yesterday, and this girl I talk to was like, “How’s it going?” and I was like “OOF I have so much to talk about!” and she was kind of like “LMAO, you? I’m shocked.” Because if I like you as a person, I never shut the fuck up. But if I don’t like you, I seem like I never speak.

Existing is weird, and I kind of don’t know how I feel about it cause it’s been really difficult for me thus far. Things might be getting better, but I have no idea. I just don’t wanna waste my time anymore on people who don’t get me, or who are potentially only trying to fuck me or something. Because I don’t allow that shit, that’s not who I am, despite the fact that I’m not a prude. If it’s going to be like that, I’m the person who’s going to decide it’s going to be like that. Not anybody else. And also, people act like I’m frigid or something because I have a rule about Republicans. I will never date a fucking Republican. A conservative wouldn’t even like me either, because few things about me as a person align with those ideals. Even if it’s just an acquaintance situation, there’s always extra distance between me and any given Republican, so I can look at them disdainfully in APUSH when they say something about “a decline in morality”.

Which is like, a lot of this shit is probably why I don’t get dates or anything, but I’m still a really friendly and nice person. I always want people who are being excluded to feel included, because I know what that feels like, I don’t give a shit if they’re annoying.

I’ve had like other weird things where like I was never sure or like still am not sure about what’s going on. There’s this bassist who goes to my school and last year we walked to the bus together a couple times and discussed our mutual disdain of nazis. There’s this other guy who would like pat me on the back and shit, and one time I didn’t know he was behind me and got scared, but I don’t see him as often anymore cause we don’t really have classes together. This kid who’s obsessed with like anime and shit wanted to be around me all the time last year, and then I started avoiding him because I had morning classes and had to get stuff done, but then he sat with me again recently and I was like... I don’t know what to do. The weird part is, all three of these guys have the same FUCKING NAME. I don’t wanna say what it is but they deadass all have the same fucking name. I truly don’t understand how that happened.

My life is kind of empty right now as it is. My psychiatrist, who I unfortunately hate, says that maybe I don’t get dates cause I’m not open enough. And I’m like one, I barely care. Two, I have shit to do. Three, no adults in my life would approve of the people who do like me. What am I supposed to do, put a sign on my back or some shit? God I swear she says some really dumb shit sometimes and I try to be respectful but she can never remember anything about me and it drives me crazy. She always asks me so many questions, and I have a hard time answering questions. But I gotta keep her around because my therapist only has certain permissions. Also, I mentioned being bi once, and she said some bs about Freud and how I would eventually pick, and then asked about my “”thoughts”” and I was like LMAO nope. My true nature is to be a romantic but my life experiences gave me trust issues n shit. Sometimes my therapist will say I have to deal with the past if I want to be comfortable with having a relationship or something, and I tried it for a few weeks, but it made me feel awful so I stopped it. Now I just push it to the back of my mind cause it’s easier that way, and I more so wait for shit to come to me rather than me going to anyone else. But, ultimately, I think I could be a fun person to be around I guess.

[mbrl]

a giant update!

 posted first here bc yolo

roadmap-

the stuff i bought from forever 21 today c:

other stuff i did today!

closing the chapter to january (the worst month i’ve had to deal with for awhile?)

things i look forward to in the future: march, april, may, summer.

oh my god i got really cute things from forever 21!! finally ordered a white/light grey windbreaker with swordfish pattern all over it for $20. also got white dolphin shorts (like dolphin style, not literal dolphins) with rainbow stripes on the side. and a dark-ish pink/blush off the shoulder dress with ties on the arm.. it’s kind of weird but was on sale for valentines day & idk how off the shoulder styles look on me... we’ll see ig! it’s really cute and flowy. and another dress, but maroon and long sleeve and floral, kind of in a baby doll fit. it’s lowkey mockneck so the reviews are like help i can’t fit my head through but .. hopefully it fits! there’s some really small lace parts on the sleeve :). and a white flowy vneck top with a bunch of pink flowers on it and a tie in the front. bell-ish sleeves with lace on the upper shoulders and parts of the back! oo and a light weight grey hoodie with kinda cheesy but still cool cool-toned floral embroidery on the hood. it’s p unique but the quality probably sucks and isn’t soft. lastly a peach mid-maxi skirt that has some sheer parts for the bottom half!! it’s like those ballet rehearsal skirts style. 

okay clearly i really like dresses and i think i’m going to start wearing more pink/color because i’m totally over winter in general and how drab that season is. honestly just light warm colors that kind of are reminiscent of furniture fabric/granny aesthetic is totally my vibe. like i want to look like i don’t give a fuck, but not in an emo way but more in a.... idk. i actually don’t know how to explicate my vibe but its like laid back and californian and whatever. hypebeast/grandma/passionate napper/hiker/couch appearance :) also i’m really happy to just sorta word dump and get my thoughts out again because they’re finally good vibes and i feel super excited to share it with my ... laptop screen & whoever’s reading! like getting outta funks is so nice and lowkey reminiscent of a few months ago when i finally got over this stupid boy

anyway okay. today i woke up at 9-10ish because i slept at 3am yesterday :( i felt really weird (ig you can describe as anxious) because of something i did, and i tried to do that thing where i imagined trump spouting all the self hate/angsty vibes i was telling myself, but i didn’t really purge the angst all that much. also i had taken a nap after school + drank boba the day before... (and 2 days before then i slept at 2 bc i had half a cup of green tea in the evening...) also i got angry at myself that i couldn’t sleep because it’s just annoying. it’s 12 am right now and i didn’t take any naps today but i’ll definitely be content & ready to sleep after i right this. so after i woke up, i spent like a few hours cleaning out my room-- i fixed the organization of my desk drawers so it could be more efficient and less cluttered. also the night before when i couldn’t sleep, i hung up all my clothes so that was nice. then in the early afternoon, i finished math hw (literally had 2 problems left, one of which i didn’t know how to do....) and did some japan bowl studying! i also started chatting hella people to ask for interest regarding a possible speaker event that intersections (my social justice club) is hosting... it’s about asian american health disparities, so i got 9 total clubs interested??? now i gotta email the presenter to update them but i’ll do that tomorrow. then from 3-5pm i had a really fun japan bowl meeting that was super untoxic and just productive. this year we have less frequent meetings, but i think we spend the biweekly meetings with... healthier vibes. it’s a lot more fun, and honestly no amount of shame expedites self-studying better than just having a safe and nice environment. we did some practice rounds & i knew the answers to some questions!!! it was fun. i’ll definitely be studying more ahahah this week’s meeting was kind of a throw away but it was good bonding? we also did reading practice.

then i went on tumblr/online shopped/youtubed for 2 hours or smtg..then finished bio hw (3 sections of notes!!!!) while watching gaming streams after eating dinner. then chilled and took a shower, went on tumblr some more, and here i am now! i feel like i didn’t do much but whatever. it’s okay to be leisurely and like.. i just have a worksheet for aplac and a few emails to write tmrw, and i guess that’s it? chill weekend.

okay queue the giant cbt paragraphs:

january was a giant mess mainly because of tasp application... it’s hard for me to take the experiences that i know are invaluable in building my character, and trying to relay that in a effective, understandable way. it made me feel secure because it was almost like i was selling myself/commodifying my experiences, but i was doing it in the course of a 3-4 weeks. it was annoying when i got the diction and syntax just how i wanted it, only for my editor to be like no this is weird. it’s weird to have someone who doesn’t know you try to word your experiences and push you into a template. thank god said editor actually got fired and isn’t my college counselor-- now i have this really tall and goofy friendly white guy (who majored in sociology so you can imagine he’s not the typical yt).

another thing was just friend stuff, but not in a way that points a finger specifically to anyone, it’s just... junior year will literally suck the life out of people and push them to extremes. for me, when i needed support from my friends, it’s not like i could receive it-- partly this is just normal though because normally i don’t confide in them anyway because my life is pretty easy anyway. most of the time/100% of the time i’m initiating the how-are-you type thing and listening to rants and giving advice or playing devil’s advocate or trying to empathize and validate. and when i needed someone to do that for me, i didn’t know how to ask for it? and my friends wouldn’t have the capacity to care for me bc i don’t think they actually know the background of my problems that well. i mean only i really know that and that’s fine bc it’s not really practical for other people to take the time to (1) understand and, (2) care... also it’s not worth it to me to expend the emotional labor explaining to someone. so this really isn’t to sound self sacrificing, it’s just that i consciously don’t expect my friends to be my therapist, but since i have amateur skills & pretty decent emotional intelligence, i’m glad to take that role for my friends. this just blows up in my face every once in awhile when my own problems resurface or smtg and i just turn inward and whatever. thank god it’s over!!! that was basically my january.

someone i kinda know also had something really egregious happen to them. and i can’t talk about it bc i’m making this post public bc i want a record of this on my studyblr blog. anyway i was alone in helping this person with the egregious thing because it’s not the kind of thing i can share (it’s not my story) and also sharing the information can force people to do things that ... wouldn’t be favorable. the stress from that time made me really upset for a few days and i was so angry that the egregious thing even happened, and i’m definitely not the person to get angry.

also had to get my physical for track from this gross pervert of a doctor who uses a stethoscope to touch breasts :\ and i felt really disgusting and gross and it happened and just yuck so cringe ijaijsf don’t wnat to talk about it

ugh okay another thing that i recently came to realize is that fat is really underrated in attractiveness because flab plausibly makes for super comfortable cuddling? basically other than in the context of a fatphobic society (and this isn’t to thin shame), there’s nothing definitively more beautiful about sharp angles or hard muscles compared to soft curves? someone i sit next to in a class wears hoodies and sweatpants almost everyday and they just look like a pillow/perfect big spoon. okay but at the same time food angst and body image stuff is lowkey resurfacing, but in a really lowkey way against myself :(. part of the reason why i got angry last night at myself was because i didn’t like how i drank boba at such a late time, and how i was basically on a sugar high at 2am. so i’m trying to limit my processed food intake as a means of control. i’m pretty safe from relapsing into fullblown AN but a lot of shame associated with certain foods is still there. also i still dislike my thighs and back flab and i didn’t run hard enough to be ready for track and i feel really out of shape :(

a few days ago i went volunteering and was utterly exhausted and not in the mood of being understanding. i don’t think i was being impatient, but i was being more curt than usual when working with somebody. i was really annoyed and dwelling on my irritation and letting it consume me. on the car ride home, i was thinking through all the reasons why i could be so pissy, so i had to think through all this angst and grossness in january. i was always hoping that i was just pmsing when i was feeling especially down during that month, but i think the stress made me skip that month :\ so idk where my period or pms went but goddamn ig i was just especially moody that month if hormones can’t explain it lol

during january, intersections was passed and that was such a big victory. but i didn’t really care about it. i honestly didn’t even want to do anything for it or hope that i’d go well. part of insecurity for me is that i doubt myself so much (sUBCONSCIOUSLY, which is especially annoying bc idk what i actually feel half the time) that i get frustrated easily.

but the stress of the summer app and distancing myself from the stressful things has allowed me to recover, and i’m really happy and my normal self (which i’m really happy about!!!) i’ve literally been writing for 40 min so i’m going to start doing lists for the remaining stuff i said i’d write about

things i look forward to!

feb: planning for intersections, week of break = cramming for jbowl, light school work load

march: starting my club, leadership conference i’m part of, almost time for jbowl

april: jbowl!, spring break, api healthcare disparities presentation?

may: giant speaker event with an alumnus possibly?

summer: lead a free program for low income students around where i live? there’s a lotta red tape and logistics that come with this one though... will be thinking about it for a long time.

okay i’m sleepy bye